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#i wanna rewind like a year and keep myself from becoming … this

doodledrawsthings · 4 years

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Oh The Humanity! AU Masterpost

Hi! Making a masterpost for this AHiT AU so y’all have one place to just find all the important bits that I and other folks in the fandom have done for this AU! Everything will be under the read more

AU Premise: Snatcher steals a time piece from Hat Kid and Bow Kid to mess with them. He tries to use it during one of the Death Wish fights, but turns out the particular time piece he stole was faulty/ something was up with it/ he broke it in a weird way that really messed it up. Because of this, when he broke the piece, instead of rewinding time back a few minutes, it sent his form back about 300 years, returning him to human form, but with all his present memories. Now, he’s stuck as a human as and has to wait for the Time Traveling Alien Kids to fix the time piece and return him to normal, while also being forced to confront his past.

You can find most of this in the tag #oth!au. I will also be updating this as new stuff gets added or if I find that I’ve missed something. Let me know if there’s something I missed that you’d like me to add, cuz boy howdy i didnt realize how much is stuffed into this AU, and I dont remember what I’ve already said and what I’m saving for future stuff:

Significant Events in the Main Timeline story (these are kind of in order and kind of not. There’s more to be added, just not yet):

this au has a bunch of different endings thanks to the lovely ahit fandom’s contributions.

This all happens sometime after This comic. So, by the time OTH!AU happens, Moon and Snatcher are at least on“awkward acquaintance” terms with eachother and snatcher is trying to be nicer to him. He’s still got his moments of being rude and snappy tho, but thats just because he’s snatcher.

The first actual post i made In regards to this AU+ @positive-polygons comic interpretation of the beginning of the AU. He breaks a weird time piece he stole and he reverse ages back to being alive again. : Link Link1 Link2 Link3

Snatcher asks moonjumper to watch over Subcon while he’s stuck like this Link

Bow takes him to Nyakuza Metro to get new clothes. He trashes the Prince get-up as soon as possible. Link

Arctic Cruise Arc Link1 Link2 Link3 Link4

Some comics, they learn his name is luka at some point

Moonjumper is taking care of Subcon. They do things way differently than snatcher but they’re trying their best.

Cooking Cat comes by to cook and help out. She’s very motherly to everyone. She’s taken Mu on as an apprentice, so she’s usually there with her whenever she drops by.

The birds are wrapping up a collab movie. The main cast are invited to the premier party, as Hat and Bow acted in the film. Snatcher gets to wear a nice suit and he has some interaction with the conductor and grooves. Link Link

at multiple points, MJ checks in with snatcher for status reports on how subcon is doing. This is usually where their bonding moments happen and they become less and less awkward with each interaction.

At some point around mid to late story, they find out that Subcon is starting to freeze over again. Snatcher was the only one who could melt the ice so this now gives them a time limit.

The Mirror incident Link Link second fic by @greentrickster

as snatcher gets along with the kids more, they remake his mailman hat so he can use badges and equip him with his own umbrella. Link Link

at some point snatcher realizes he doesn’t wanna go back to being a ghost.

Main-timeline ending is a Boss battle with Vanessa. Link

General Headcanons:

Almost everything you need to know about moonjumper and the prince and vanessa’s relationship Link

Snatcher and Vanessa have known eachother since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged, but they were good friends

OTH! Snatcher is aroace

about snatcher’s feelings on defeating vanessa (*human!/final boss vanessa ending) Link1 Link2

This fic has a really good interpretation of the horizon that I’ve pretty much adopted, myself. Link

regarding snatcher’s expression of empathy and emotion both as a human and as a ghost Link1

Snatcher gradually takes on a fatherly role towards the girls. He is constantly trying to deny it as he comes to realize it but eventually accepts it.

he’s actually pretty graceful with the umbrella Link Link

Hat kid’s a good leader, but she can often be reckless and stubborn. Significantly more chaotic of the two space gremlins. She’s a lot like snatcher in a lot of ways, and because of that they are constantly butting heads but they get along better as Snatcher both gets used to being human and grows fonder of the two girls. She’s a bit closer to Snatcher, having been the most adamant about being his friend (initially out of spite but yknow) and they have a lot in common.

People frequently mistake snatcher for being Hat Kid and Bow Kid’s visiting father. They usually comment on how much he looks like he could be HK’s biological dad. Both are in denial of this throughout the main timeline of this au. It’s a running gag. Link

snatcher is sometimes completely oblivious when he enters Dad Mode sometimes

Bow, on the other hand is generally a bit more shy and careful than hat kid is. She tends to take the passenger seat, taking on a more supportive role. She’s also way more polite. In this sense, she has more in common with moonjumper, and gets along with them quite well and she frequently goes to visit him the most often, on her own.

Her and snatcher’s relationship kind of parallels snatcher’s relationship with MJ. Snatcher, having once been a big jerk to these kids, is now trying to teach bow to take more of a leading role and be more confident.

as this au takes place not long after the Clearing Incident comic, Snatcher and MJ’s relationship is a bit awkward in the beginning. Over the course of the AU their relationship would build up to be more brotherly.

the subconites like moonjumper but they miss their boss. MJ spoils them tho, which they appreciate and occasionally take advantage of Link Link

moonjumper learns to stand up for himself, snatcher learns to be more vulnerable

moonjumper is the badgeseller. Only hat, bow, and snatcher know this.

snatcher very much enjoys feeling warm, its one of few saving graces he clings too in the stressful early part of the story.

snatcher doesnt like looking at himself in this AU. He’s very self-conscious about his “pathetic human body.” He doesn’t like being pitied and he doesnt like being seen as weak.

snatcher frequently has nightmares about his past.

after recieving the mailman hat, people start refering to him as The Mailman. Link

his voice frequently cracks a lot, especially in the beginning, since he keeps trying to use his Loud Ghost Voice, which can do a number on human vocal chords. Link

the kids bully him constantly Link Link Link

his arc is that he learns that it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to be vulnerable and to open up to people, and he learns to accept his past and who he used to be

the girls accidentally call him dad sometimes, which freaks him out at first, but he gets used to it eventually. Link

he adopts them, for sure, it just happens post- whatever ending.

beard. Link

Spin-off AUs, Alt Endings, and Fanfics, Oh My!:

That ending where habijob kills moonjumper Moonjumper goes to fight Vanessa, alone. In one version they win, and in another, they lose, and snatcher has to return to ghost form to retrieve them from the horizon. by @habijob Link Link Link

From The Horizon fic by @greentrickster Link

@lindendragon‘s hypothetical endings where snatcher is captured by vanessa Link Link

@fedoraspooky‘s spinoff au where the timepiece takes him back even further and turns him into a kid Link Link

@positive-polygons‘s Vanessa Spinoff Link

@doodleimprovement‘s Royal ending Link

@erekiosuncreativeideas‘s fanfic, Being Human, her version of the au’s story in chronological order starting from when he breaks the timepiece Link

@lemonadesoda’s Fanfic series, And I Don’t Think You Hate This As Much As You Wish You Did, fills in and expands upon the ideas in my comics for the AU Link

#a hat in time #ahit #the snatcher #the prince #bow kid #hat kid #moonjumper #ahit headcanons #oth!au #Oh the Humanity Au #oth!au masterpost #good lord i didnt realize how much this au had #but i think this is good for now #i'll add more as i go #i know for sure that theres more fics to add but i'll do that later i just wanna put this out #added some stuff

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years

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Peculiars (Pt.1)

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Patton Boleyn was a special child, not necessarily special in the way most would describe. He was smart, yes, but he was average smart. He was skilled in things like singing art and cooking, but not profesionally.

Looking at Patton most would assume he was completely ordinary, and he was for the most part.

But Patton could do things most humans couldnt. Most people would watch him sitting in fields and wading through lakes and rivers and say it was just him being a normal energetic child.

Patton's parents knew better, they saw the way the flowers moved to face their son, and the way the lake seemed to become empty in the spots Patton swam in.

Patton's father said they would have to keep him inside for his safety, his parent said that Patton's gift was one to be nurtured, not locked away from the rest of the world.

Patton hated the days they would argue. The way his father's eyes would narrow as he yelled at his spouse over a petty incident of a flower growing quicker than it should in the school yard. The way his parent's hand clutched the nearby table as they struggled not to raise their voice at their husband.

The day Patton asked to go to the pool was the last straw. His father had panicked, words were exchanged that Patton wouldnt forget for years. So Patton and his parent had packed up their things and left. Patton found out later that they hadnt been happy in the marriage with his father either way, so Patton was glad both of them had escaped.

That was how the first nine years of Patton's life had gone, and the next five had been full of Patton hiding his gift from everyone except his parent.

They had the most vibrant garden in the neighborhood, and a little pond with a small waterfall in the backyard. Patton would watch the koi swim through the pond, manipulating the water to small bubbles occasionally so he could lift the fish out of the pond without hurting them. He had to stop doing that when the neighbor tried to catch it on camera and call the police.

Patton didn't mind having to hide, but sometimes it hurt, he felt wrong, he wanted to run around in lakes and fields like he used to, wanted to watch the water ripple under his hands, and flowers bloom where he walked. But it wasnt safe anymore, people were scared, they wouldnt trust someone like him.

Today felt different, he'd woken up same as usual, to his parent's voice calling him down for breakfast, their soft brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. It was almost identical to his own, only a little darker, and a lot less healthy from all their years of dying it as a teenager, they'd told Patton that if he ever wanted to dye his hair he would have to wait a while between sessions so it wouldnt fall out.

Then he'd gone to school and had a perfectly ordinary day, he'd done well in his classes, he talked to other students, and he hadnt caused a single flower to bloom or ripple in a puddle of water.

He was beginning to think that the feeling he'd had this morning was just nerves, until he walked home to find his parent on the front porch with a woman who had white hair with streaks of pink and blue. The woman was smiling and talking to his parent, who's face was one of shocked Awe and silence.

"Patton! There you are!" His parent threw their arms around him.

"What's going on? Who's this?" Patton put his hands in his pockets, an expression of concern on his face.

"Mrs. Hera Raven, she runs a school for kids like you," Patton's jaw clenched.

"You're not sending me away are you? I haven't done anything wrong!" Patton stepped back, he'd almost tripped into the street before his parent caught his arm, their deep blue eyes were full of a mix of sorrow and understanding.

"No one is saying you've done anything wrong dear, but people with your talents arent safe out here, Mx. Boleyn has agreed to let me take the two of you somewhere safer," Mrs. Raven was smiling, Patton noticed her lipstick was an odd blood-red color. Patton looked between the two adults, the confusion in his face only becoming more pronounced.

Mrs. Raven's face shifted suddenly to one of fear, "we need to leave, quickly, follow me," she gestured to a car.

A few minutes of driving later they had come upon a collection of oddly shaped rocks, and disappeared through the center of them.

"Now hurry up hurry up, we'll be safe once we're at the school," Mrs. Raven said, ushering them through the woods. Eventually they came upon a large building, it was made of bricks and stone, and the brick was painted black.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Patton said, fidgeting with his clothes.

Mrs. Raven looked around for a few seconds, Patton noticed that, rather than both her eyes being the bright green he thought they were, one was a striking yellow color.

"Patton, you are what we call a peculiar child, it's a recessive gene in families that manifests in, as you might call them, supernatural abilities in children," she said.

"You mean theres more kids that can do what I can?" Patton said.

"Well, not exactly what you can do, they all have their own abilities, you can meet more of them here," Mrs. Raven said.

"Oh, and the main rule, now that you're here, you cant leave, if you leave the loop you will be in danger once it resets," Patton opened his mouth to ask another question.

"Loops are rewind in time created by ymbrenes like myself, they are used to protect peculiar children such as yourself, some of the children within this loop have been here for nearly one hundred years, if they were to leave, they would age until-" Patton's parent covered his ears.

"So what about Bon?" Patton asked, looking up at them.

"The same rule applies to humans, typically parents who accompany their children to the school become members of staff, it's actually quite good for the children to have multiple parental figures," Mrs. Raven said with a grin.

"Patton, I'm gonna let you go make friends while I go with Mrs. Raven ok?" Bon smiled, running their hand through Patton's hair.

"Ok Bon," Patton said. He watched the two adults leave before finally walking into the main portion of the courtyard. There were dozens of children chasing each other and playing around, and adults talking to each other on the sidelines while watching their children.

"Watch out!" Patton barely had time to react before a basketball came hurling it's way across the garden, a tree branch curled it's way around the object just before it made contact with his face.

"Wooooaaaahhh! Awesome!" Patton moved the tree back into the ground, picking the basketball up and turning on the direction of the voice. A boy that looked a year or two older than him, with red eyes and the wisp of a mustache, was smiling brightly at him.

"So you can make trees huh? That's cool," he said as he took the basketball out of Patton's hands.

"I can control water to," Patton whispered, shuffling his feet in the grass.

"Remus! Who's that!" Another boy ran over to them, this one had bright green eyes and a mass of red hair.

"New kid, he makes trees," Remus said with a grin.

"Well come on, it's your turn," said the boy.

"Can we call it a tie for today, I wanna show him around," said Remus. The other boy nodded and ran off to a group of five other boys.

"Well, I'm Remus Duke-Prince, and I can reanimate the dead," Remus said. Patton blinked a few times while trying to process this, earning a laugh from the boy.

"Patton Boleyn, I can manipulate earth and water, which I guess are kind of similar since they both make up the actual planet anyways," Patton mumbled, tapping his fingers together.

"Boleyn? Like as in beheaded Anne Boleyn?" Remus said. Patton nodded and flinched slightly as Remus let out a loud howl of laughter.

"Come on- let me introduce you to my favorite people here," Remus said, grabbing Patton's arm and running over to the group of six.

"Everyone, this is Patton, Patton, this is Roman, Logan, Virgil, Janus, Emile, and Remy," Remus said, pointing at each of the boys in turn.

"Roman Prince-Duke, yes, I'm related to the rat," Roman said, picking up a rock and holding it out in front of Patton. Patton was about to take it from his hand before Roman closed his fingers around it, when he opened them again a light blue gemstone had taken its place.

"He makes rocks boring," Remus said, laughing. Roman let out an annoyed huff before fixing the gem into a silver necklace and clasping it around Patton's neck.

"Logan Mercedes," said the boy next to Roman, he had fluffy brown hair that seemed pushed to one side of his head.

"I can breath underwater and see in the dark," Logan said before turning to the boy next to him.

"This is my boyfriend, Virgil," Logan said, moving a lock of vibrant purple hair out of Virgil's face.

"Do you want to show him?" Logan whispered to Virgil, who was fidgeting with his hoodie strings. Virgil gave a slightly nod and Logan pulled a rope out from his belt, wrapping it around Virgil's waist. Virgil bent down to unlock what seemed like iron boots fastened to his legs. The moment he'd stepped out from the shoes, the boy was a few feet above the ground, Logan holding the rope with one hand and Virgil's hand with the other. Logan helped Virgil back into the boots, fastening them back up before he took off the rope and placed it back on his belt.

"Virgil doesnt talk much," Remus said simply before turning to a boy with a large scar on his face. His skin was a dark brown, which made with yellow eyes stand out all the more obviously.

"Janus Allen, I can talk to animals," he said simply, bowing slightly and placing a kiss on Patton's hand, Patton noticed Remus shift slightly and let out a soft giggle.

"Remy Hypnos, and this is my little brother Emile," said the boy next to Janus, his skin was a lighter brown than Janus', and he was wearing sunglasses despite it not being very sunny out.

"Hes like medusa, and I can move stuff with my brain," Emile said, fidgeting with the bow in his hair.

"Well now that you've met all of us, welcome to the loner squad Patton," said Remus, clapping a hand on Patton's back with a grin. Patton thought he might enjoy it here much more than he'd first expected to.

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Tag List:

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@thecolorfulolive

@thefivecalls

@melodiread

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@boobmaster69

@januses-nap-corner

#cori writes #long post #peculiars au #ts patton #ts logan #ts remus #ts virgil #ts sides #ts roman #ts janus #ts emile #ts remy #deintruality #romantic deintruality #rosleep #romantic rosleep #analogical #romantic analogical #hera sable

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mulderspice · 5 years

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have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files? Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head. I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine. Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away. For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998. However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair. The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring. Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”. The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3. All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening. This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you. Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are. Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it: this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories. Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven. Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes. Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime. In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic. You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it. Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips. But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate. This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”. A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair. Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again. What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place. Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post. And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today. By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth. Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC. Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot. This just makes me unhinged. 50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live. I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude. Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses. What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this. I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image. Nothing means more to me than this. 1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business. Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left. Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too. He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL. An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history. Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated. BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair. If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes. He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves. (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.) For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely. Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma. This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.) What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it. Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

#and this one i SAVED!!!!! enjoy #here at mulderspice

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taestykooky · 5 years

Text

My Evolution in Stanning Jaebeom / GOT7

Ever since yesterday? Was it yesterday? I’ve lost track of time...I’ve been hugging my body pillow and rolling around in bed squealing and moaning “Jaebeom-ah”. I’ve literally accomplished nothing, the dishes are still in the sink, the cat has been destroying everything and I don’t even care... I’m a fucking mess. Did I even eat anything? Thank god I didn’t have work, tomorrow however is going to be a challenge. How am I suppose to go back into society like this? His oh delicious body, that darn belly button and happy trail with his damn gorgeous face keep replaying in my head. *sigh*

When did I become so fucking thirsty for this man? When did the admiration and love for him turn into this? Like yeah, I’ve always been a huge fan, his smile always brighten my day. Don’t get me started with his eyes... his voice, oh god but like I can still partly function after hours of calming down. But this, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Every time I look at him now, even when he’s acting all cute, I’m lusting for him. Like shit sis, a picture of him just sitting there at a fan sign has me all hot and bothered. Wtf?

A part of me is screaming, “girl, pull yourself together! He ain’t even know you exist.” But like I know and but I just can’t stop. It’s just crazy to think back when I first saw him during the dream high/bounce era, I thought he was cute. It was so innocent. When he debuted again with GOT7, I was excited to see and get to know him & the others. Of course, he became my bias but it was pure admiration of who he is and how talented he was.

Was it during the Just Right era that I found him to be more attractive than usual? I think that sounds about right, that scene with him in the car...And then came MAD’s If You Do, boy did my heart fluttered. I remember replaying Tic Tic Tok over and over just to hear his sexy voice. That song did things to me especially his “내 맘이 너를 원해 나와 같기를 바래, 나에게 너를 맡겨 You know you like it, baby”. Seriously? I replayed that part so many time I felt sorry for the rewind button.

Looking back now, he was the joy of my life, something to look forward to after school. I struggled a lot during that time but GOT7 was my light through it all and still is.

When Fly came out, I was absolutely in love with it. His voice starting it was heaven to my ears and he looked so damn fine...(maybe this was when the thirst slowly started?) I remember singing along so much that even now when it comes on randomly on my iTunes that I just instinctively singalong.

Oh boy and then Hard Carry. The whole Turbulence album is one of my all-time favorites. 니꿈꿔 (Dreamin’) was on repeat for the longest time, like his voice is so clear and delicious. I still squeal when it comes on and singalong like the fangirl I am...

The beginning of DefSoul. This boy was already out to destroy me...I should have seen it coming. His voice is really divine though. I remember being nervous to click on Bad Habit because that little inner voice knew he was going to wreck me. And oh god, he sure delivered. Don’t get me wrong I love everyone in GOT7 but hearing just Jaebeom’s voice is just absolutely heavenly. Holic is still being played every night before I head to bed. I guess 2016 was when the thirst began.

Next was the Arrival album, it’s another of my favorites, just like Turbulence, I can listen to the whole album on repeat and I did lol... Paradise & Go Higher were played back to back A LOT. Never Ever was always playing on my desktop when I was doing things and I’m not gonna lie I always stared at Jaebeom’s parts because I have issues...

Then holy shit, JJ Project made a comeback! Verse 2, dear lord, I remember being so sad because I couldn’t afford the album when it first came out. My paycheck wasn’t gonna be there for another week. I cursed at myself for going out to eat a few days before with some girlfriends... When I finally got it, I was so ecstatic. That album was absolutely the best. Fade Away was played so many time, I really can’t get enough of him.

7 for 7 *sigh* I swear my heart melted for this album. It was so soft. I listened to it a lot at night. Jaebeom’s vocals in You Are is one of my favorites. I’m not even gonna talk about the two mv for You Are & Teenager. It was just all squealing, singing along, and staring. 2017 was my holy grail, being blessed with 4x the Jaebeom was heaven and boy did I needed it that year.

Ah, 2018, it started with DefSoul blessing us with 5 tracks. I still can’t decide which one is my favorite between Think of You, Channel & Don’t Touch Me.

His mullet also made a debut which honestly, at this point, I’m already so whipped for him nothing he does will disappoint me or turn me off. I actually liked it and I’m usually not a fan of mullets *shrugs*

Eyes On You was a nice album, I enjoyed it. I was low-key jealous of Hyolyn...Look’s mv was played too many times, I really missed them. I was so busy in 2018 that this was the first time I saw them since their Teenager mv. I usually watch their V-Live & Web Series but life is cruel lol...

I actually missed a lot in 2018, I still need to catch up on everything I missed. But thanks to me being so busy, I delayed buying Present: You which turned out to be a blessing for my wallet. I ended up buying the repackaged album instead.

Miracle was full of emotions, and all the sub unit’s and solos were awesome~ Not Jaebeom related but King was one of my favorites. Sunrise *sigh* his voice really makes my heart yearn for him, 1:31AM especially. That 2Jae should make a debut already... Think About It made my heart hurt for some reason, idk this whole album had me in a weird headspace.

I realize I didn’t mention the Japanese albums but I do have 2 of them (I Won’t Let You Go & Moriagatteyo) and bought 3 tracks (My Swagger, Turn Up & The New Era). Their Japanese promotions are hard for me to follow and keep track of, not because I don’t like it but I don’t even know they’re promoting it until like it’s over.

And now we’re in 2019! Starting off with more DefSoul because he’s so sweet and amazing. I thought it was hard to pick a favorite before with vol.2 but vol.3 is just too hard. I just love the whole damn thing too much. His voice is so addicting and his English has improved so much it’s driving me crazy.

When I thought it couldn’t get any better, Jus2 makes a debut. Ugh, he’s really doing too much. The whole Focus album is just sinful. Every time I listen to it, all I do is have unholy thoughts. That body roll/wave whatever in Focus on Me had me swooning and his mullet is gone and he’s back with that fuckboi haircut looking so god damn good. I was watching the special for Focus on vLive and I didn’t realize it then but it was one of the times I was truly happy and enjoying myself this year. Just watching him talk about when he wrote the songs and explaining them made me so happy.

SpinningTop: Between Security & Insecurity, it’s been out for 2 months now? And I still don’t own it which makes so sad lol... There’s nothing but dust & lint in my clutch. Eclipse *sigh* I’ve been playing it on repeat and I’m sure my neighbors are sick of it. I feel like I’m burning holes in him when I watch him. Oh god, and the astronaut video, I never loved him more. Is it wrong that I want to be his fingers...not to be nasty or anything...

Lol, anyway, I haven’t listened to the rest of the album yet because I want to hear it together on the cd cause I’m weird like that. It’s killing me, I really wanna hear what Page is like. Their spoiler video was a fucking tease. They literally didn’t give any lmao...I totally wasn’t staring at his legs the whole time. Why am I like this??

The World Tour, the thing that started this whole rant. They are gonna be here in California again and once again I can’t afford the tickets. Looking now, the ones in LA that I want are $805-227, the ones I want in Oakland are sold out but I would settle for the $407-342 ones...but I don’t have that kind of money plus my car is in repairs *cries*.

But I probably would die if I went because look at him... All these fan photos and videos of him are enough to bury me in the ground. The shirtless video and pictures are really what did me in. I didn’t realize I was so fucking thirsty for him. I knew I was thirsty but not this thirsty. I never knew I could feel this way for someone that I know is unobtainable.

It’s been 7 years since he’s debuted, 5 years with GOT7 and it’s been the best 7 years of my life. Watching him continue to improve and become the man he is today has been truly a blessing. Even though, I’m a hot mess over here being a thirsty ass...my feelings did start out pure and innocent. Those feelings are still there and just evolved into something more. He just does things to me but can you blame me? He knows what he’s doing...

But seriously, looking back from the very beginning to now, I am grateful for everything he has done. All the joy and happiness he brought me throughout these years are worth the suffering.

Thank you, Jaebeom-ah for everything, even if your popularity fades one day, you’ll always be my number one.

#got7 #lim jaebeom #jaebeom #super long rant #so thirsty #the apple of my eye

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yooo-gehn · 5 years

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I’m scared, I’m here

I find that you only move forward if you scare yourself, sufficiently. That if you throw yourself into something that you don't know if you can do, that's when you find the glories on the other side of that fence, because you realize that you're capable of more than you thought you're capable of. You realize that you're not drowning, that you can actually swim.

But I have a big issue with change and taking risks, I'm usually keeping myself at a safe distance from people and things, and while that's not good in itself, I actually think that comfort zones are just as important, there are crucial sides of myself that only flourish and thrive when I'm in my comfortable and familiar space, not when I'm pushing my limits and my insides are freaking out, I'm done apologizing about sheltering myself in my comfort zone more than a lot of people allow themselves to, or feeling less of person because of it, because it's about having a balance, not about stretching myself till I pop everyday.

But, I want to learn to accept change, to handle it more gracefully, to be able to look into myself, and find out that I'm somewhere I don't wanna be, that I'm not.. Fully living in the here and now, or rather that I don't belong to it, that I want to rewind the clock or fast forward or pause the present, that I feel dislocated and misplaced, and not content with where I am, I want to not distract myself from all that 24/7, I want to let myself take all of it IN when I need to, and just learn to become...Here.

Just be where I am, in this very moment, and remind myself that, this, right now, writing this post, is the only thing that's happening in my life, there's nothing else happening, there's this laptop I'm using, there's my messy room I'm sitting in, there's Bradley Cooper singing "Please don't tell me I'm too far gone" in the background, there's soft yellow lighting, there's all that, but that's it, there's nothing else happening, and to me, being able to remember that, and feel my feet on the ground, it's my new antidote to anxiety.

I won't be a tourist in the present visiting from the past or the future; because anxiety is either reflecting on the past, feeling regretful or thinking the past was better, or worrying about the future, or thinking that something in the future is gonna save me, anxiety is this constant unease about something I want but can't have, which is always bound to happen, but, but, if I slow down, and focus on where I'm at, who I'm with, and what I'm doing, right now, I can actually calm my mind, even a little bit. I want to start playing a game when I try to remember how 15 year old me would be happy feeling about what's going on now, that young bastard had it so much worse, I want to click into that place because I have to watch my cynicism and my discontent, you know, we're human beings, we can ALWAYS find a way to complain about absolutely everything, and there's nothing that can keep this in check like practicing feeling grateful for the good things I have in my life.

I'm even warming up to the idea of meditating for the first time in my life, meditation always sounded super boring to me, just like probably whoever is reading this: Just sitting still and doing nothing? Kill me now! I distract myself for a living. But I feel like the mind, especially now, I don't know, it's hard to check in with people 500 years ago, but it feels like the modern mind is just always moving, like a hamster, and the way we're connected now, we're constantly going going going, and I feel like, just to have a time, when I can get quite, and just embrace the none doing and the effortlessness, even for 20 minutes a day, just to get my mind quite, and then other things start to come out that are beyond the mind, you know, intuitive things start to kind of bubble up, and I let the monkey/brain alone, just leave it be. I think that over time it can actually be fun and something to look forward to. And movies and shows, well, they thrill me, entertain me, turn me on, inspire me, provoke my thoughts and feelings, make me feel connected to people, they fill the awful boring lonely gaps of my life and I’m forever grateful. I think movies raised me, they had a big role in making me who I am throughout the years, because you can tell me that love is good and I'd feel nothing, but you can show me in a genuine well written human story that love is good, and I'd at least think about it and let it settle in, and the best thing about the movies I loved, is that usually they are free from the middle east deeply corrupt agendas, ideologies and ways of life, I even learned English because it was the language of the world I escape to, the world of good stories that have emotional depth, or even just plain entertaining.

And music, music is so important to me, I fell in love with modern classical concertos, it's the closest thing to attending a real concert, a concerto is more focused on "showing off" a particular instrument, with the support of a whole orchestra behind it, and I really appreciate the fact that just a few decades ago a person could only experience a piece of music once or twice in their lifetime, while we're living in an age when you can play your favorite piece of music on repeat, at almost any time, on a device that can fit into your pocket.

And my creative outlets are also here to literally save my life, it's not just something I'd do to help me keep my feet on the ground, it's in my DNA, it's how I communicate myself best.

I want to write a movie about aging, and nostalgia, and the reasons why we read books and watch movies, and how it can get us to be too much in our heads, and the consequences of being too much in your head, and what it means to be mortal, and to be a thinking human, and a suffering human, I have so many questions, enough questions to work through them and work them out in a narrative, and write them into a relatable, engaging and entertaining core plot.

I wake up a lot of the days with the intention to write, it doesn't mean I always get to it, but a big part of me is a writer in nature, and when I have a good writing day it's kind of anti-depressive thing for me, it feels like I'm lying naked in bed after sex with my heart pounding, feeling this serenity and hyperactivity washing over me at the same time, and I'm so loose and unburdened, ready to reward myself with good things without beating myself up over them, it's the corniest metaphor ever but still the truest.

And finally, I want to be less hungry for people to tell me how great I am, some people think I'm egoistic, hell, I think I'm egoistic, but really it's my need for a certain level of validation that actually drives me, it's this need to feel liked and validated, to make people see through all the things I hate about myself and actually see something worth liking, and then when some people do, I try hard to join them, and in the process feed my ego.

But I'm writing this long very personal essay in English, knowing it would've gotten more recognition and likes if I wrote it in Arabic, to discipline that part of myself, I don't want it to rule over me anymore, I want to be more hungry to create things, to do my own things, the things that make me feel alive, I want to experience the joy of the actual doing of them, and not have it tainted with my need to be liked and validated, I want to lose myself to something I love doing, not to calming my insecurities down. I..want..to be..here.

#كتابات أدبية #خواطر شخصية #هذا أنا #تأملات فكرية

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yes-i-write-fanfiction · 6 years

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Im sorry but can I send an emergency ask?A year ago i was baker acted when i tried to kill myself, and ive gotten much better since then. But my im not close with my sister, and the other day she was yelling at me and said that all the problems my family has is because of my selfishness and “craziness”, and that i should just go away and finish the job. Im really hurt by it, cuz i felt so proud of my progress, now i feel like crap, how would the LL bots react to liaison in a similar situation?

*I know how you feel in a way. My sister is often emotionally and verbally abusive towards me, despite knowing about my mental history, so I recognized myself in this one. I just wanna tell you that I think you are an incredibly strong person to have gotten so far and is so willing to get better, not everyone can do that.*Rodimus is so furious at your sister that he almost burst into flames right there and then. How dare she!? After all you’ve been through! But as much as he wants to give her a piece of his mind he knows that you need him right now. So he takes you to his habsuite, proceeds to roll you into a blanket burrito and then just hold you. You know she’s wrong, right? It’s not your fault and her blaming you like that is wrong and totally uncool. She’s a real buttfart. He then proceeds to call her all the childish insults he can so he can make you laugh. Yeah, forget that meanie and just have fun, you deserve it.

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus stares at her for a few seconds before the biggest frown ever appears on his face. He then asks her, with the coldest and most emotionless voice you’ve ever heard from him, to never talk with you again unless what she’s going to say is an apology. You are one of the strongest and most capable people he knows and while you may have had problems in your past you managed to overcome them. When the two of you are alone later he will pop out of his armor and just hold you in his true form. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to. Sometimes words are not needed.

Megatron’s plating flares and for a fraction of a second he’s the decepticon warlord again, full of hate and malice. Your sister must have seen the look on his face and decided that she didn’t want to die and ran away. Megatron turns back to normal and collects himself. As much as he wanted to hurt that hateful person he would not have done it. So he directs his attention to you instead and gently reminds you that what she said is not true. Trust him, he’s heard enough lies in his life to be able to see right through them and your sister is the worst liar he’s ever seen.

Drift looks at your sister in a way that only an ex-decepticon can do, optics cold as ice and full of disgust. Then, with an overly polite and sweet tone, he smiles while asking your sister to kindly go to the Pit and stay there. Seriously, he is pissed. How dare she? After all you’ve been through, after everything you’ve overcome? Drift doesn’t hate a lot of people but she just became one of them. He makes sure to comfort you, holding you close and whispering how wonderful you are into your ear. You are just so wonderful and strong, he adores you so.

Swerve sputters for a moment, his mind racing before he lets out a loud “WHAT?” cause he just cannot believe what she just said. Then he starts ranting. And he rants for a long time. Most of what he says doesn’t even make sense because he’s so angry that the words just mix together and become nonsense. Then he abruptly stops because he remembers that you are more important than that prick, picks you up and runs away. You know what this calls for? Movie night and cuddles. And he’ll tell you how perfect you are the whole time while kissing you.

Ten loudly gasps before a series of angry tens flow out of him. You don’t know what he’s saying but you don’t need to be a genius to see that he is upset. After he’s done telling her off Ten picks you up and leaves your sister, stomping angrily as he does. But the moment your sister is out of sight and earshot he starts fretting over you, extremely worried. He might not be able to vocalize how he feels but he can show you. He brings you in for a big hug and nuzzles you. He’s not letting you go for a while.

Skids is like “nope, fuck this, I ain’t gonna stand by and let you treat my wonderful s/o like this” so he takes you in his arms and flees to the vents. Well, not exactly fleeing, more like strategic retreat cause he ain’t letting this go. But right now you need his comfort so his vengeance will have to wait. Luckily he’s kinda prepared for this kind of scenario so there’s a hidden part of the vents where he’s stacked a bunch of pillows, blankets and snack. It’s your own little safe haven. So if you need to talk, talk. Feel like crying? The cry. He’s got tissues. And he won’t leave until you’re feeling better.

Riptide calls her a Unicron’s afthole before picking you up and leaving. He might have wanted to stay and yell at her but he knows that you are more important than her and needs his full attention. He takes you on a walk around the ship since he knows it’s easier to talk while walking and right now you probably need to talk. Hey, s/o, your sister is a real jerk, you now that? Hopes her nether regions rust over, or whatever the human equivalent of that is. You want a hug honey? Cause he’ll give you as many hugs as you want. And kisses. And if you want you can hold hands and cuddle!

Rung pauses for a second before taking of his glasses and outright begins glaring at your sister. He is mad, incredibly so, but he doesn’t yell as he tells your sister just how utterly wrong she is. He can see right through her, see all the little insecurities and fears that she has and a few carefully selected words is enough to send her running. Good, now that she is gone he can focus on you. He will take the day off just so he can spend it with you, comforting you and making sure that you won’t go into that dark place again. You’ve come so far and you are so strong, don’t let inconsiderate people drag you down, he knows you can do it.

Whirl is fucking ready to fight. Where is that bitch? He’ll punt her into a black hole! After he’s done comforting you of course. Hey, fleshy, you know that “sister” of yours was lying completely, right? She just wanted to be mean and get a rise out of you. Trust him, he does the same shit to others all the time, though he would never say something that low. Besides, nothing that she said was true. She’s only jealous cause you got together with the hottest Wrecker of them all and she didn’t! And you know he cares about you, right? He cares about you more than he dares to admit.

Fortress Maximus stomps down hard on the ground so it starts to shake, making your sister fall over. Then he leaves with you in his hands, not even bothering to look back at her. Mostly because he knows that if he did then he would start yelling and he knows that you don’t need to hear that right now. He’s really upset though and keeps muttering to himself while holding you close to his spark. Max does his best to comfort you and talk about your feelings but if you’d rather talk to someone else he understands. Just know that he’s there for you, ok?

Tailgate picks you up, cradles you to his chest, points to your sister and says “I never want you to speak with me or my wonderful wonderful s/o ever again”. Then he takes his hoverboard and flies out of there, with you still in his arms. He’s huffing and puffing the entire way back to your habsuite where he proceeds to sit down on the bed, drape a large blanket over the both of you and just cuddles you. Don’t listen to her s/o, she’s just a big ol meanie! A smelly pile of old energon! And… And it’s not your fault, any of that. You are not selfish, you are the most kind and incredible person he knows!

Cyclonus is, oh boy, he is NOT happy. Not one fucking bit. That sister of yours better run and run quickly cause right now Cyclonus is ready to stab a bitch. When he calms down he asks you how you’re feeling and it doesn’t matter what your answer is because Cyclonus will pick you up and carry you for the rest of the day. He doesn’t say a lot but he makes sure that you don’t feel bad and if he notices that you’re starting to get sad he will say something to cheer you up. All in all he acts like a guard dog. For your feelings. He will bark at those bad thoughts till they leave.

Chromedome gets seriously pissed. For a bot without a visible face he sure looks mad. Subtly he brings out the needles in his fingers, scaring your sister off. Yeah, she better run. Not that he would hurt her but he would scare the crap out of her. Then he turns his attention to you and oh boy he does a complete 180. He goes from angry murder machine to worried kitten in 0.3 seconds. Are you ok? Do you need a hug? Something to snack on? Whatever you need he will get it.

Rewind may be tiny by cybertronian standards but he’s still taller than any human so when your sister starts bullying you he stands up and looms over her threateningly. You know, he catched this entire conversation on camera and he can easily put it up on the internet so everyone will know what she said and what kind of person she is. So, she should probably shut her mouth and leave before he accidentally releases it, yes? Yeah, he thought so too. After this Rewind will absolutely pamper you cause you didn’t deserve to hear that and he fucking loves you.

Brainstorm gets eerily quiet at first. Then, slowly, he points a gun at her and tells her she’s got ten seconds to get out of his sight. He starts counting down. Your sister decides not to risk anything and runs off. Without saying a word Brainstorm picks you up and starts cradling you. His wonderful, amazing s/o. Please don’t believe her. You are fantastic, extraordinary. And if he ever lost you he wouldn’t know what to do (probably go back in time again). He absolutely refuses to let you out of his sight for the rest of the day and he takes every chance he gets to cuddle you.

Perceptor glares at her for a solid ten seconds before he tells her to leave and never show himself in front of you or him ever again. Pure bloodlust seems to radiate off him and she heeds his warning and runs off. Once she is gone he returns to normal though there’s a visible frown on his face. You know she’s just saying that to get under your skin, right? Not any of it was true. If anyone is selfish then it’s her since she can’t seem to think of anyone but herself. Do you… do you need to talk? He might not be that good at it but if you need him he’s there for you. So don’t… try anything stupid. He will always be on your side.

First Aid starts shaking out of frustration. He clenches and unclenches his servos and nearly cries in anger as he tells your sister how wrong she is. And if she believes what she said then she is the dumbest person he’s ever met cause none of that is your fault. Sometimes people feel like nothing matter, like they are empty inside and those people are the strongest because no matter what they continue to live, to love the people around them and try to get better. First Aid is still shaking as he embraces you. Please don’t ever let people like her get to you. He couldn’t stand losing you.

Ratchet explodes and starts yelling at your sister. He absolutely destroys any of her attempts to explain herself and once he’s done yelling at her she orders her to never, ever show her face around her again or he will eject her into the cold vacuum of space! He’s still pissed when she’s gone but he calms down for your sake. He is very gentle as he hugs you and he hugs you for a long time. Forget about her and what she said, ok? She’s a toxic person and will only bring you sorrow, believe him, he knows. You are not bothering anyone and he loves you more than anything else.

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chancellormatt · 5 years

Text

Voltron Rewrite Episode Four - The Plights of Paladins

Episode Four

A video of Voltron’s battle with the Robeast plays on a display inside the altean colony dome. Zarkon watches intently, seated in a control chair with Sendak at his side. As the video ends Zarkon presses a button on his chair, and the video rewinds it back to the beginning and the fight starts anew. After a few moments of this, he clicks another button on the chair, and the video pauses.

“Tell me what you think of theses other ‘Paladins,’ Sendak.”

Sendak considers for a moment. “...undisciplined. Juvenile. I’d be shocked if they’ve been piloting Voltron for more than a year or two.”

“But?” Zarkon says, a question in his tone.

Sendak hesitates. “...but that being considered, they have unlocked a number of Voltron’s abilities already, and do seem to be able to use them effectively, if crudely. Obviously their skills do not even come close to approaching our own.” He adds the last quickly, as if fearing offense.

“I find myself agreeing with your assessment.” Zarkon says, staring at the image of Voltron. “They are indeed undisciplined and juvenile. However it is still Voltron they pilot, and if given enough time, may become a thorn in our side.”

“I do not think they could really-” Sendak starts to say.

Zarkon holds up a hand silencing him.

“They will never be able to defeat our Voltron, not while I still command it. But threats, even small ones must be dealt with. Besides...a second Voltron would have innumerable uses.”

“Are you saying that it is time to-”

“Do not presume to know my plans, Sendak.” Zarkon cuts him off again. “Tell Prince Lotor to prepare two more of the Robeasts...” He hesitates. “...and the Lions as well.”

“Sire?”

Zarkon only smiles. It is a horrifying menacing expression, that shows the teeth of a predator about to feast.

“Do as you are told Sendak. This promises to be an interesting day…”

***

Hunk sits in front of a giant stack of pancakes, which he is currently in the process of devouring.

“Glad to see that going on space adventures hasn’t affected your appetite!” His mother says, beaming.

Hunk, his mother and all the members of the Garrett family sit inside their Garrison apartment, devouring a table full of breakfast foods.

“Neh-ver!” Hunk says with his mouth full. He swallows. “-It’ll take a lot more than the Galra or evil robots to affect my appetite!”

“Was it scary?” His nephew asks.

“No way.” Hunk swallows another bite of pancake. “...maybe a little bit...okay a lot.” He says after a moment of consideration. “Yeah, now that I think about it, it was all pretty terrifying...”

“You must be glad to be back, then.” His uncle says.

“Sure am!” Hunk munches on some bacon, before returning to his pancakes.

“We were a little worried after you had to fly off yesterday.” Hunk’s mother admits. “Especially after you only just got back.”

“Oh that? Nah that was just...well a little scary too, I guess. But nothing to worry about, really. At this point I’ve gotten used to having to rush off to battle without any warning or notice.”

The other adults at the table share a look. Hunk notices.

“What?” He asks.

“Well it's just…” his mother starts to say, but hesitates.

“We kinda thought we’d have you back for good once you got back kiddo.” His father finishes.

His mother nods. “Just how long are you going to have to keep running out to space to fight in dangerous battles?”

“Well just until…” it is Hunk’s turn to hesitate. He looks down at his food. “...I’m not really sure. I thought we just had to finish off the rest of the Galra forces. But now I hear Lotor might be back, and suddenly there’s these scary new Robeasts. I guess...I don’t really know.” Hunk blinks, as if struck by the realization.

The table goes dead silent for a moment. His aunt clears her throat. “...I don’t see any reason to have all this negative talk so early in the morning. My pie should be ready, why don’t we all have some dessert?”

There is a clamor of agreement. Hunk smiles slightly, but his troubled look never quite goes away.

***

Keith and Shiro stand outside the Garrison base, as a ship descends to the surface. The ship touches down, and a moment later, the hatch hisses open. A number of the members of the Blade of Marmora pour out. The last out are Kolivan, followed shortly by Krolia.

“Kolivan.” Shiro offering his hand to the leader of the Blades.

“Shiro.” The galra shaking the hand in return.

Keith meets his mother’s eyes and they share a mutual nod and slight smile.

“How did the surveillance missions go?” Shiro asks.

“We have both good and bad news.” Kolivan says. “The good news, is that the Galra have still not established a clear leader. They continue to fight amongst themselves, gaining little ground on each other. Sendak has the most in terms of numbers, but the others have dug in, and secured their own advantages. It will take some time to hunt them all down.”

Keith’s expression goes dark at this.

“Guess that’s about what we expected…” Shiro sighs.

“How have things fared here?” Kolivan asks.

Shiro and Keith share a look.

“...Kolivan, you haven’t heard anything about Lotor have you?” Shiro asks.

Kolivan shakes his head. “No, I would have mentioned that from the start. As far as I am aware he is still trapped, or dead, inside the quintessence field.” He seems to notice the uneasy look in their faces. “...is there evidence to suggest otherwise?”

“There was a fight with a new Robeast.” Keith says. “It had an altean pilot. He said he was operating under orders from Lotor.”

“This is...troubling to say the least.” Kolivan says.

“You don’t say.” Keith scoffs.

“We still don’t have confirmation.” Shiro points out. “For all we know this could be some illusion or trick by Haggar. For now-”

Shiro’s communicator beeps. He checks it.

“Duty calls.” He says apologetically. “Seems like there’s an argument between Garrison and Coalition personnel. Again. Keith can you finish debriefing the Blades?”

“Yeah.”

Shiro nods thankfully, and heads back into the base. Keith turns back to Kolivan and Krollia. He hesitates a moment before speaking.

“...if Lotor is back, what would that mean for the Galra?” Keith finally asks.

“They would likely rally behind him. Even if there were some holdouts, it would be a simple thing for him to crush the dissenters, and unite what was left under his own banner.” Kolivan says simply. “In short, it would be very bad for us.”

“Yeah…” Keith looks distant.

“...Keith?” Krollia says carefully. “Is something wrong?”

“It's...nothing.”

Krollia grunts. “Don’t lie if you aren’t good at it, Keith.”

He kicks a tuft of grass, not meeting her eyes. “...Acxa said something that’s been bothering me.”

Krollia motions for him to continue.

“She said...this is dumb, I don’t why I listened to her.” Keith shakes his head.

“Keith, what did she say?” Krollia asks sternly.

“She said…” Keith sighs. “...she said that if we really want to stop the Galra, we need to give them a strong leader. A new Emperor. She said...it should be me.”

Krollia shoots a look at Kolivan.

“What?” Keith asks, noting the exchange.

“That idea has… been suggested before.” Kolivan admits.

“...you...you mean-”

“It makes sense Keith.” Krollia goes on. “You’re a strong fighter, and the leader of Voltron. It would put an end to the fighting. Taking the throne is not such an outrageous an idea.”

“But...I’m only half Galra!” Keith points out, as if not sure what else to say.

“So was Lotor.” She points out.

Keith stares at them, in horror. “...you guys are serious about this.”

“We’re saying it's an option, Keith.” Krollia. “There are other options too…”

“But this is the best one, right?” He says coldly.

Krollia and Kolivan share another look.

“It seems that way.” Kolivan says.

Keith doesn’t say anything for a while.

“...I can barely lead Voltron. I don’t want to try ruling a whole empire.”

“We’re not trying to force you into anything, Keith. We’re just asking you to think about it.” Krollia says.

“Fine.” Keith says curtly. “Is that everything?”

Krollia gives him a concerned look, but after a moment nods her head. “For now.”

Keith turns back and heads back to the Garrison base alone.

***

“Wait, I’m confused. I thought we beat the game.” Lance says.

“We did. But there’s still the expansions.” Pidge replies. The two walk down a pristine hallway within the Garrison base.

“Expansions?”

“Yeah, it's like more of the game they released after the game came out.”

“And how many of these are there?”

“Eight.” Pidge shrugs.

“Eight!? Man, we didn’t even get close to beating the game.”

Pidge shakes her head. “No wait, actually there’s nine. I almost forgot about ‘The Lost Gauntlet.’ Technically it was supposed to be removed for being too buggy, but luckily we have a copy from before the update.” She adjusts her glasses triumphantly, as if this is a great victory for them.

“Huh. guess we got a lot more game to get through after all.” Lance says thoughtfully.

“If you think you’re up to the challenge.” Pidge says nuding him with her elbow.

“Hey I never back down from a challenge!” Lance says determinedly.

This seems to satisfy Pidge. They round a corner, and come face to face with Hunk.

“Hey Hunk.” Pidge says.

“Hey guys.” Hunk replies without much enthusiasm.

“Whatcha up to man?” Lance asks.

“Dunno, figured I’d get an early start on some engineering work. Why? Where you guys headed?”

“I’m about to go take a look at what's left of that Robeast. I'm hoping it's tech might give us some answers. Think Lance is just tagging along. Taking up space seems to be the only thing he’s good for around here.”

“Hey I resent that! I’m the team sharpshooter, remember?”

“So go shoot something.” She says with a coy smile.

“Well obviously there’s nothing to shoot right now!”

“I rest my case.” Pidge says folding her arms. “Anyway, Hunk you wanna help out?”

“Might as well.” Hunk sighs.

Lance and Pidge both give him a sidelong look.

“You doing alright buddy?” Lance asks.

“Yeah you’ve only been talking about how good it is to be home since you got here.” Pidge says.

“Hm? Oh..yeah. Must just be that battle. Really takes it out of you, you know?” Hunk explains.

“Well don’t go all mopey on us.” Pidge slaps him on the arm. “Allura’s already down in the dumps, we can’t have two Paladins off their game.”

“She’s not doing well, then?” Hunk asks.

“No.” Lance frowns. “If she was being a little off before, she’s definitely in a bad place now. Coran says she’s barely eating, especially after she talked to that altean kid. I just wish I could help her somehow...”

“She probably just needs space.” Pidge says.

Lance sighs exaggeratedly. “You’re probably right. It's just so annoying. I was already having a hard time approaching her before, then she gets hit with this thing? I’m starting to think I’ll never get a good chance to ask her out...”

Hunk looks thoughtful. “Maybe you just should.”

The other two just stare at him oddly. Hunk shrugs.

“What? Might be nice for her to get her mind off things. A date could be just the thing. If nothing else, she’ll at least know how you feel.”

Lance rubs the back of his neck. “I dunno man, just not sure if it's the right time. She’s got all this stuff going on…”

“Yeah it's probably just a bad idea.” Pidge pipes in.

“You’re just waiting for the perfect moment.” Hunk says shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s ever going to come Lance. Who knows when we’re going to be thrown back out into space next, where we’ll have to fight the newest bad guy in the line. It never seems to end...” Hunk looks distant for a moment, but he shakes it off. “...Nothing here is certain, and you may never get another chance.”

All three are silent for a moment. However, Lance starts nodding his head slowly. “Yeah...yeah you’re right Hunk! I can’t just keep waiting around! I’m gonna do it! Thanks man!”

Lance runs off and Hunk gives a small smile. He turns back to Pidge. She stares after Lance even long after he’s gone.

“Hello? Earth to Pidge?” Hunk says waving a hand in front of her eyes.

“Huh? Oh.” She shakes her head. “I was just...thinking about something. Let’s go.” She hurries off, with Hunk in tow.

***

Allura sits alone on the rooftop of the Garrison building, with her legs hanging over the edge. She looks out into the empty field that surrounds the base, with a downcast expression on her face.

Coran steps up to stand next to her. “Please Princess, you must rest. You haven’t gotten any sleep since the battle. And that's not even bringing up how little you’ve been eating.”

“I’m not tired, and I’m not hungry.” She says stubbornly.

Coran sighs. “You won't be able to do any good if you don’t take care of yourself first. Even your father knew that-”

“-My father,” Allura cuts in. “would know how to help his people.”

Coran gets a pained look. “King Alfor was a great leader and a good man. But he wasn’t infallible. He didn’t always have the right answer, and knew that it took time to get results.”

“Lately it feels like I never know the right answer.” Allura replies.

“You’re too hard on yourself Princess. That’s one thing you have in common with him. He also thought the whole universe rests on his shoulders.”

“I think we have one other thing in common.”

“Yes?”

“We both ended up trusting the wrong person only to be betrayed, and lose our people.” She says coldly.

“Lotor.” Coran says quietly.

“The funniest part is he was Zarkon’s son.” She laughs without merth. “You’d think I’d have known better.”

“...we don’t know that he’s really back. Really it seems far more likely that it's some sort of trick by that witch Haggar.”

“Maybe. But would it really make a difference? Even if he isn’t really back the altean people still believe in him. Still believe in a monster that used them.”

“Then show them you’re better.” Coran says encouragingly. “Prove to them that you’re better than Lotor.”

“That is profoundly easier said than done.” Allura sighs.

“I’m sure you’ll find a way Princess.”

There is a ping on Coran’s communicator. He checks it and sighs.

“Go. Go rebuild the castle. I’ll be fine.” Allura says, waving a hand dismissively.

“All right. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you Coran.”

Coran turns around and leaves the rooftop through a stairwell. Allura is left alone. She pulls her knees up to her chest as she continues to stare out at the field. One of the mice peeks out from under her hair. She smiles at the creature, and provides a hand for it to crawl on.

“What about you, do you have any ideas, little guy?”

The mice chatters unintelligibly.

“That’s what I thought...” She sighs.

***

Hunk and Pidge sit in front of a massive fragment of robeast armor. Hunk is examining a broken off piece of metal, while Pidge has her computer plugged directly into the armor.

“Huh, seems like this metal is nothing special. It was only so hard during our fight from being soaked with quintessence.” Hunk observes.

“Hm.” Pidge says, not looking up from her computer monitor. “I don’t think these things would even work without an altean pilot.” He goes on.

Pidge doesn’t even reply to that, absorbed in her typing.

“You alright?” Hunk asks. “You’ve been really quiet since Lance left.”

Pidge quirks an eyebrow as she looks up from her computer. “I should be asking you that. You were talking really weird back there. ‘You may never get another chance?’ What’s that all about?”

Hunk frowns, toying with the piece of metal in his hand. It is a while before he says anything.

“...when this all started, we had a goal. Defeat Zarkon. Always sorta figured that would be the end of it. We could all go home after we did that one thing. Sure sometimes, it was scary, and seemed impossible, but at least we knew what the goal was. But then, after we beat him, Lotor showed up. Just one more guy to take care of. And then we thought he was our friend for a while, and it seemed like everything with the Galra was wrapped up. But…” He sighs. “...turned out that just opened the door for more troubles. We beat Lotor too, but that just created a power vacuum. Now nobody knows who’s in charge, galra are still all over the place and on top of all of that there’s a new kind of robeast we have to fight! I guess I’m just wondering...when does it finally end?”

“I…” Pidge hesitates. “...I don’t know Hunk. But we’re paladins. We do what we have to right?”

“Right...paladins…” Hunk says more to himself than Pidge.

Pidge refocuses back on her laptop. She begins to type more quickly. Then furiously.

“Quiznak!” She swears.

“What is it?” Hunk asks.

“This thing’s security is next level. Every time I think I’ve found a way into its deeper systems I just get kicked back out again!”

She continues to type frantically, gritting her teeth. “Dang it!” she cries as she is kicked out again.

“Did you try a manifold bypass algorithm?” Hunk asks, walkinging over to look over her shoulder.

“Of course!” She says immediately.

“What about a multiphase breach-”

“I know what I’m doing Hunk!” She snaps.

Hunk holds up his hands defensively. “Woah, I’m just trying to help, no need to get snappy.”

“I’m not being-” Pidge hesitates. “Okay, maybe I am. Sorry. I’m just...a little off today, I guess.” She sighs and rubs her eyes under her glasses.

“It’s alright.” Hunk shrugs. “Something happen?”

“No.” Pidge says shaking her head. “Not really…” She looks down at her laptop for a moment, before pushing it aside. “I think I need to take a walk. Clear my mind.”

“Alright…”

“I’ll be back...eventually.”

With that Pidge gets up and walks out of the warhouse. Hunk is left along to stare down at the piece of metal in his hand, turning it over in his fingers, looking lost.

***

Pidge walks outside the hangar, and starts to move down the corridor. She stops suddenly and just stands still for a moment. Then she leads against the wall and lets out a long sigh. She smashes her palms against her forehead with tired frustration.

“...what the hell is going on with me?”

***

On the Garrison rooftop, where Allura still sits, the door to the stairwell suddenly pops open. Lance stands there, looking out tentatively. When he sees Allura he smiles sheepishly.

“Hey, heard you were up here...you mind if I join you?”

Allura shakes her head. “Not at all.” She motions to the space beside her.

He strolls over and sits down next to her. For a moment the both stare out at the field. A gust of wind kicks up, sweeping through the tall grass below.

“You picked a great spot.” Lance says. “Used to come up here to hang out sometimes, back in training.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. It's real pretty. You should see it at sunset.”

Allura nods, absentmindedly. Lance’s gaze flickers from Allura to the field and back again.

“Hey Allura…”

“Hm?” She asks, distractedly.

“This is uh...kind of important…”

She looks directly at him, with a quizzical look. Lance sighs.

“I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, and I don’t want to spring more on you...but I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to say this...”

She is staring intently now, holding onto each word.

“Allura...I like you.”

“Lance I kno-” She starts to say.

“No, just...wait.” He cuts her off quickly. “Please hear me out.”

“...alright.” She nods slowly.

Lance takes a breath. “I know you just think this is a schoolboy crush. But it's a lot more than that. You aren’t like other girls I’ve gone after before. Heck you aren’t like any other girl I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful, strong, brave and...and…” His voice trails off as he looks down to collect his thought for his next line.

Allura only stares. She opens her mouth to speak, but then closes it again, uncertain.

Lance, finally seems to have gathered his thoughts. “I originally just came up here to ask if you wanted to go out, on a date or something, but...well now that I’m talking I think I’ve gotta get this out ...Allura…”

Her eyes begin to widen.

I think I love-”

An image of Lotor flashes across Allura’s vision.

“No!” She stands bolt upright.

Lance looks up in shock.

“I-I…” Allura says. “...no I can’t do this. I’m...sorry.”

Wit that she dashes off the roof, to disappear down the stairwell. Lance is left staring after her, with despair in his eyes. After she is gone, he looks down, and strikes his fist against the concrete of the rooftop.

“Idiot!” He yells.

His shoulders slump, and he is left staring out at the field.

***

A convoy of Voltron Coalition ship drop out of a hyperjump. The ships lurch and shudder, as if stopped suddenly, and without warning. Inside the bridge of the lead ship, the crew are picking themselves up after the shock of the sudden stop

“What the quiznak was that!?” Captain Arodul, a large creature with bulbous eyes, demands.

“Unclear sir!” The small officer to his left replies. “It seems that something pulled us out of our last jump!”

“The Galra?” He asks.

“No Galra forces detected so far, just space junk.” Another officer, to his right reports.

“Hm.” The Captain says, unsatisfied. “Well whatever it was, I don’t want to stick around long enough to find out. We need to get this payload to Coalition Command! Start another jump as soon as possible!”

“Right away sir-” One officer starts to say.

“Captain!” Another officer interrupts. “Unknown craft detected! It's emerging from behind a nearby asteroid...wait make that two! Two unknown crafts moving towards our position!”

“Get me a visual!” The captain orders.

A pair of images appear on the bridge’s display. Each image shows a silver armored robeast racing towards the convoy, with weapons out.

The captain stares wide-eyed for only a moment. He turns to his communication officer.

“Get me Coalition Command. We need Voltron.”

***

Across the Garrison base, the Paladins each are alone. Keith sits by himself, staring down at the black bayard in his hand. Allura lies in a dark room, hugging herself. A downcast Lance sits on an empty roof. A lonesome Hunk busies himself with the work of an engineer. Pidge walks down and empty corridor trouble written across her face. At the same moment, they all receive the same message:

“All Paladins and Coalition forces, we’re needed! Report out front!” Shiro’s voice says from their communicators.

The paladins, each gather themselves together, and start moving.

***

“... A convoy carrying valuable Coalition materials was attacked on it's way here. Once again their communications were cut off shortly after the distress call, and we are the closest allies to provide help. Judging by the similarities we should be prepared for another Robeast, or maybe even something worse.” Shiro explains.

Hunk looks down at that.

“We’re out of time, so that’s all. Good hunting out there.” With the last of Shiro’s words, the Coalition forces all head into their respective ships.

The Paladins each run to their lions with speed, if not enthusiasm. None of them look very happy to be there. Shiro stops them before they can get any further.

“Hang on guys. You all look a little worse for wear? You gonna be alright out there?”

Keith shoots a look back at his teammates. Lance and Allura are deliberately avoiding each other’s gazes. Pidge is staring at her own feet, with occasional glances towards Lance. Hunk is simply staring at his lion with a deeply troubled expression. As soon as they notice Keith looking they all stand up straighter, but the front never quite reaches their faces.

“Well...be fine.” Keith says, without much certainty.

“Alright.” Shiro sighs. “See you all when you get back.”

“Yeah.”

One by one, the Paladins all go to their Lions, and take off.

***

The Convoy of Coalition ship frantically fly away from a pursing Robeast, harrying them with energy blasts. Every time they gain any distance, the other Robeast flies around to cut them off, and they are forced to change direction again.

“Quiznak! Where in the stars is Voltron!?” The captain demands. “If this keeps up we may have to use the-”

As if on cue, Voltron and the Coalition, blast into the battlefield.

“Took em long enough.” The captain says with relief.

“This is Keith of the Paladins of Voltron here to provide assistance! Enemy Robeast, I will give you one and only one chance to lay down your arms.”

Allura chimes in too, “I know you’re alteans under there, I am too. This doesn’t -”

She is cut off, when the Robeast turn from the convoy to begin firing on Voltron. Voltron throws up the shield just in time to block the violet energy blasts.

“Guess diplomacy’s out of the window.” Keith says, sounding unsurprised. “Alright guys, we know about their weak point now, so even if there’s two of them, taking them down should be easier this time. Let’s go Paladins!”

Voltron burst into motion, racing towards the Robeasts, tearing out the sword as it does. Both Robeast fly towards it in turn. One holds it's weapons in the pair of scythes, while the other has it's weapon as the single double ended spear.

Keith slams his bayard into it's port, and Voltron’s booster wings pop out, rocketing it forward. Voltron slams shield first into the first robeast, sending it flying backwards. Voltron then continues it's momentum to swing it's sword at the other robeast, which only barely manages to block with the half of it's spear, but is still pushed backwards.

“Hunk, Pidge cannons, now!”

“Right!” The both say.

At once, Voltron’s shoulder and arm cannons appear and fire at the robeasts. Both are blasted backwards further.

“Coalition, fire!” Keith orders.

As one the Coalition ships fire their cannons and blast the robeasts with a hail of energy-fire. The robeasts are peppered with shots from the coalition ships, and begin to fly evasively. The one with the spear spins it's weapon in one hand, deflecting the blasts, and begins to move back towards Voltron. The other flies directly for the Coalition ships.

“We can’t let them get to those ships!” Keith declares.

Voltron’s right arm raises and Lance begins to line up a shot, but is knocked off course when a blast from the arm of the other robeast knocks it off course. The robeast moves in, trying to jab it's spear into Voltron’s gut. The strike is blocked by Voltron’s shield. Lance resummons the sword and swings for the robeast’s head. The robeast pulls backwards, narrowly missing the blade.

At the same time, the other robeast slams into a Coalition cruiser, digging both scythes into the ship’s armor. Energy begins to surge from the ship into the robeast.

“We’re losing power!” The cruiser’s captain cries out. “Draining fast! We’re-” The line cuts off as all lights coming from the ship go dark.

“No!” Keith shouts.

“They aren’t gone yet.” PIdge says. “They’re backup power should kick in in a second, they’ll just be dead in the water.

Keith sighs in relief.

“...I’d be more worried about that robeast…”

The robeast turns and open’s it's chest panel. Violet energy begins to gather in a ball.

“That’s our cue!” Keith says. “Coalition ships, keep the other one off us for a second!”

In response the other ship blast the robeast engaging Voltron, forcing it on the defensive. Voltron uses the opportunity to rocket for the robeast that is charging up it's blast.

“Let’s take it down.” Lance says narrowing his eyes, and summoning the sword.

The robeast pulls back, but Voltron doubles its speed.

“Now!” Keith orders, as they come within striking distance.

The sword thrusts right for the robeasts, but at the last moment, it twists to the side. The sword glances off the robeast’s armor, doing little damage. The robeast fires point blank. Voltron is hit by the blast full force, and is blown backwards, with all paladins shouting in distress.

The robeast moves towards the stunned Voltron, about to swing both scythes. Right before the blades hit, it's jerked back suddenly. A swarm of Coalition fighter’s are dragging it back with energy tethers. The robeast turns to fire on them, but the fighters have already disconnected and scattered. A moment later the robeast is hit with a pinpoint blast from a cruiser, sending it spinning.

“How do you like those new tacitic I had everyone work on after that last battle?” Matt chimes in over the speaker.

“Thanks for the save, Matt!” Pidge says.

“Fights not over yet.” Keith says.

“No kidding!” Matt replies. “Guys, that other one is heading towards another of our cruisers!”

Sure enough, the robeast with the spear is dancing around energy blasts, heading right towards a cruiser, spear outstretched for the strike. At the same time the robeast with the scythes has already recovered and is moving to attack.

“No you don’t!” Allura shouts, slamming her bayard into it's port.

The harpoon gun appears on Voltron’s shoulder and fires. The harpoon shoots the robeast moving for the Coalition ships, embedding itself in the mecha’s arm. Voltron then jerks on the line, dragging the speared robeast back towards the robeast that is moving for voltron. The two robeasts smash together, rolling through space.

The robeasts quickly right themselves, but pause before launching into their next attack.

“What’s going on?” Hunk asks. “Why aren’t they attacking.”

“Maybe they’re scared?” Lance says, hopeful.

The robeasts start to move, racing towards Voltron, side by side.

“Whatever it was, it’s worn off! Heads up Paladins!” Keith says.

The robest with the spear moves in first, pulling ahead to lunge at Voltron. Voltron spins out of the way, but in doing so puts itself in the path of the other robeast. Pidge throws up the shield, only barely deflecting the scythes. By then robeast with the spear has already twisted around to lunge at Voltron from another angle. Voltron pulls back, as both robeast move forward, keeping up the flow of attacks.

“They’re keeping us on the defensive.” Keith growls.

“They’re moving too erratically, we can’t hit them without risking striking you Voltron.” Ryner says from one of the cruisers.

“We aren’t doing that again!” Lance says, before Keith can even reply.

Keith sighs. “They aren’t gonna expose themselves like this, not if they can whittle us down bit by bit. We need a new plan.”

“Pidge you’re smart, how do we beat them?” Lane asks.

“It's not that simple Lance!” Pidge snaps. “I can't just pull information out of nowhere!”

“Well I just-”

“Guys!” Keith says, pulling Voltron back, narrowly dodging. “I don’t need arguing I need answers!”

“...Can we even hurt them outside of their weak spot? That armor seems so tough.” Allura says, as Voltron’s sword glances off the shoulder of one of the robeasts.

“Yeah...I think we actually can. ” Hunk replies. “The armor really durable from all that quintessence, but they aren’t invulnerable. A good hit from the sword where the armor is weaker, like the joints, neck or waist, should do it.”

“But there are alteans in there, we need stop them without hurting the pilot?” Allura objects.

“Where was the pilot’s capsule held on the one we have back home?” Keith asks.

“Upper chest, just below the neck.” Hunk reports.

Keith nods. “Let’s do it.”

“Assuming we can even get a chance to!” hunk says, as Voltron narrowly dodges a scythe swing.

Voltron throws up the shield to block another shield strike, but the blow lands too soundly, and the shield is knocked out of it's grip. Lance tries to use the sword to block the following strike, but the blade is pulled aside by a scythe.

The robeasts move in, ready to swing down on Voltron’s exposed head. But suddenly, both have their arms jerked back by tethers from the fighters.

“Now! While we got them!” Matt yells.

The Paladins yells as they throw their throttles forward, and Voltron jets between the two, swinging the sword in two wide arcs.

For a moment all three machines are still. Then, the head of one robeast is cleaved off, and the other robeast is cut in two at the waist. Both pilot capsules fly out as the robeasts explode.

Keith lets out a breath. “...we did it.”

“The pilots…” Allura says, indicating the capsules.

“We’ve got ‘em.” Matt says as his and one other fighter pull the capsules in to lock onto the bottom of the ships.

“Thank you.” She says slumping back in her seat.

Hunk breathes a sigh of relief as he looks out at the destroyed robeasts. “Alright, guys, I don’t know about you but I’m ready to get back to earth right-”

“That was quite the entertaining display.” A voice new voice booms over the comm. “Far better than any gladiator match, even if the amount of skill displayed was childish at best…”

The paladin’s eyes all widen.

“...To think that you’ve gotten even this far…” The voice goes on. “I suppose there’s no accounting for luck. But, that luck of yours has finally run out...”

“That voice…” Keith says.

“It can’t be…” Pidge says disbelieving.

“It...it sounds like…” Lance says, unable to finish.

“No…please no...” Hunk says with a desperate tone.

“It has to be a trick! A recording! A-” Allura starts to say.

She is cut off when the dark space around them is lit up by a bright violet light. They all shield their eyes as the energy begins to take form. It crackles along what appears to be an invisible humanoid form. The energy crackles along the surface of the from, tearing away the veil of invisibility. The last of the energy crackles away, revealing a sight that horrifies and shocks the Paladins.

Another Voltron.

“...though I am told you have met me once before, allow me to reintroduce myself: I am Emperor Zarkon, Leader of Voltron. And I am here to take what is mine.”

#voltron #voltron season 8 #fix it fic #hunk #allura #pidge #lance #zarkon #keith #plance

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omniversalobservations · 4 years

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Lovecraft Country (October 2020)

Hippolyta was on Earth 504 for the equivalent of 200 years on their version of Earth. She acquired infinite wisdom and intends to use it to save Dee. And so, Tic, Leti, Montrose, and herself drive to the observatory in Kentucky to retrieve the Book of Names from Tic’s family before it got lost in the Tulsa riots. Tic and Hippolyta fix the time machine up whilst Leti and Montrose tend to Dee. Montrose reveals to Leti that he and Tic are aware that she’s pregnant. Tic didn’t tell her because he also learned that he dies during Christina’s spell.

Before long, Hippolyta gets the time machine up and running. There are upwards of 60 trillion parallel universes. They need to rewind to their Earth’s Tulsa in 1921. The computer needs a motherboard to give it instructions, so Hippolyta plugs herself up to the machine using the purple implants in her wrists. She uses the picture of Montrose, George, and Dora from 1921 to triangulate. She then warns them not to change anything in the past. Hippolyta plugs herself up to the machine and Tic, Leti, and Montrose travel back in time to Tulsa, 1921.

Source: Lovecraft Country Wiki

The orrery’s coordinates lead Hippolyta to Mayfield, Kansas where she arrives at an observatory. There she finds a machine that fits the orrery’s key. But the machine seems to be stuck so, using her physics and mathematical smarts, she figures out how to turn it on. Police arrive (Captain Lancaster is having them keep an eye on the place) and cause a commotion that leads to the machine creating tears in the universe, and the real heat of the episode begins. Tic throws a cop through the tear and Hippolyta shoots the other cop who bleeds out. Then, standing too close to the disruption in time and space, Hippolyta is sucked in.

Hippolyta arrives, descending meteorically onto what appears to be a planet somewhere in space. Is she in the future? Is that some kind of extraterrestrial ship? Before she can figure it out, two beings looking both robotic and alien approach her. She wakes up in a white room, nude and with purple implants in the beds of her wrists. She is greeted by a tall Black being, with a large, shaped Afro who speaks in code, repeating iterations of “You are not in a prison,” “Where do you want to be?”, and “Name yourself.” (In the credits this character is named as “Seraphina a.k.a. Beyond C’est” — like Beyoncé, get it?)

It’s fun to watch Hippolyta’s mind work as she begins to understand her surroundings and realize this is a place of possibility, but she still doesn’t quite understand the power she is about to wield. Seraphina nudges her again. Who does she want to be? Pressured, she comes up with the quickest idea of freedom she can muster in the moment: “I want to be dancing on stage in Paris with Josephine Baker.” And surely, she is taken there — right onto the stage, in a white feathered getup, mid-dance number. She spends what seems like months there, loosening up thanks to advice from Josephine Baker herself, partaking in the fun, the sisterhood, the lavishness, the drugs. The script and Aunjanue Ellis are wonderful here. What would risk being too on-the-nose elsewhere, becomes layered and full of guts:

“All those years I thought I had everything I ever wanted, only to come here and discover that all I ever was was the exact kind of Negro woman white folks wanted me to be. I feel like they just found a smart way to lynch me without me noticing a noose … Sometimes I just, I wanna kill white folks. And it’s not just them … I hate me, for letting them make me feel small.”

Hippolyta’s ruminations in this episode are full of such nuance in their pauses and pivots—these are feelings wrapped up together, themselves wrapped in a societal history that’s made her feel this way. The audience is forced to feel her emotion here, to listen and be on her side. These very bold feelings become justified. It’s pretty incredible to have her admit this all and have Josephine Baker nod and respond in knowing kinship.

If you’re confused about where and when Hippolyta travels next, that’s part of the point. We see Hippolyta surrounded by other Black women in warrior garb. She begins to spar, in training, with the group’s leader. We watch as her skills grow. And it’s revealed that they’re training to fight … white Confederate soldiers. This is not a space that exists in our current world or timeline, but the orrery is allowing her to travel operating by the many-worlds theory — that if multiple universes exist in parallel, then all possible realities are realized in some world. Or as Hippolyta puts it, she can find “a world where I can name myself anything.” The battle is a bloodbath for the soldiers that ends in Hippolyta kicking off a man’s loosened head. Triumphant, Hippolyta explains to the women she is now leading that this is justified anger, that it’s anger born out of love. She connects these emotions to freedom. More soldiers run toward them in the background, but Hippolyta drops her sword, takes off the helmet she earned, and proclaims her identity once more: “I am Hippolyta; George’s wife.” She’s accomplished what she’s needed to and she’s instantaneously on to the next.

I’ll admit that Hippolyta returning to the scene we first met her in is touching. Her revisiting this moment of tenderness with George is grand because she is able to express her true feelings. “When I was a kid, I thought I was big enough to have every right to name something out of this world,” she tells him, “and then I just started shrinking myself.” She calls out George further—indicating that he influenced her to do this. This version of George is hesitant but apologies and admits that he dulled her shine. With that off her chest, we get her final declaration: “I am Hippolyta; Discoverer.” She grabs George’s hand and the two are transported to a colorful, yet-to-be-explored planet. They make peace with the aliens living there and help catalog and discover new flora and fauna. It’s pure joy.

In the end, Hippolyta chooses to return home. She asks Seraphina, “How could I fit in everything that I am now, into that place?” It’s a lovely, poetic question that I’ll be thinking about for a long time. She explains, “That Hippolyta, she was so small,” but Dee needs her mother. It’s not sad because she’s not that same person. She is now a Hippolyta transformed.

Source: Vulture

(image via Twitter)

#television #Lovecraft Country #many worlds #multiverse #time travel

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gethealthy18-blog · 4 years

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338: From Autoimmune Disease to Thriving Health With Ryan Lee

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/338-from-autoimmune-disease-to-thriving-health-with-ryan-lee/

338: From Autoimmune Disease to Thriving Health With Ryan Lee

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

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This episode is sponsored by Joovv, a natural red light therapy in your very own home. We may not think of light when we think of essential nutrients that our body needs, but it absolutely is! This is the reason I go outside as soon as possible after waking up each morning and the reason I spend time in front of Joovv. Light is energy and our bodies need light in certain forms to sustain healthy cellular function. Red light in particular, especially in certain wavelengths, has certain benefits for hair, skin, and cellular energy. I like Joovv because they are third-party tested for safety and performance and use a Patented modular design which allows you easily treat your whole body in under 20 mins. Joovv uses clinically proven wavelengths of light that provide energy to the body and help with things like skin elasticity or to help avoid wrinkles. You can get bundle pricing discounts which allow you to save more money when purchasing larger setups. Check it out at joovv.com/wellnessmama and use code WELLNESSMAMA for a free gift.

Katie: Hello and welcome to the “Wellness Mama” podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and wellnesse.com. That’s wellness with an E on the end, which is my new personal care line that I would love for you to check out. And today in this episode, I talk to someone who has become a personal friend and who also has a really cool and somewhat similar story to mine of recovering from autoimmune disease, losing weight, and the process that made that possible. And we go deep on some tactics that we both used that led to that. And also, one of the things he does, which is create bars that meet all of the criteria of every dietary plan, but also that are highly nutritious and a repeatable habit. That was part of his story. And we also will have some fun references to the ’80s and some lifestyle, just in general, time management tips that we share in this episode as well. So, I know you’re going to enjoy this fun and lighthearted interview with Ryan Lee, who is the founder of REWIND. Without further ado, let’s join Ryan.

Ryan, welcome to the podcast.

Ryan: I’m excited to be here, Katie. I am ready to get this Wellness Mama thing rocking.

Katie: Well, there’s so much we can talk about today both in current events and also about your story, but that is where I would love to start. I always love to hear someone’s story and their origin. Think there’s so much power in that. So, to start off, will you walk us through your story and how you got to be where you currently are?

Ryan: Sure. I don’t know how far back. I’m not gonna go to when I was born. Let me go to my first job out of school. I graduated college and I spent the first six years of my career working in a children’s rehab hospital as a recreational therapist, and that’s what my degree was in, recreational therapy and play therapy and adapted aquatics, and I worked with kids who had every type of disability you could imagine, things from spinal bifida, cerebral palsy, spinal cord injuries, gunshot wounds, you name it. And we did play therapy and it was amazing. I’d loved working with kids. I’ve always loved working with kids. But on the side, I was a trainer. So, I would train young athletes. That was… I loved staying fit. I was captain of my track team all through, you know, in college and good career there and I wanted to keep staying athletic and I trained athletes. I trained hockey players, although it was ironic because I still can’t skate. Elite tennis players, gymnasts. And I wanted to build a website for my sports training company, my part-time business, and this was at the end of ’98, so it was really early on. And I just started writing articles about sports training and running faster and jumping higher and all that stuff and things just kind of started to take off. I mean, that was the genesis of me getting into this health world and trying to have more impact and reaching more people.

Fast forward a little bit, sold my site and then that kind of fell apart, then I became a gym teacher in the South Bronx, which is this really rough part of the area called Hunts Point. And so it was an alternative high school. Lot of kids, they’d all pretty much been arrested at one point or another. Lot of former gang members. And I started the whole health and phys ed program. So, this was 2000 and 2001. And I was still building my part-time business to the point where my part-time income was making more than my full-time. And that’s where I took the leap and I’ve been a full-time entrepreneur ever since. Most of my companies and business has been in the health space. And my wife and I have been married now. This year, it’ll be our 20-year anniversary. And we have four beautiful, happy, healthy kitties. And now I’m running Rewind. And I know we’re going to talk about that too. And there you go. There’s a little two-minute version of my journey and lots and lots of ups and downs during those 20 years.

Katie: Absolutely. Well, I’ve heard it said that, you know, sometimes people go into psychiatry to kind of be able to self-diagnose or to work through their own struggles. And I know for me that was very much the reason I got into health was, like, having health problems that doctors couldn’t figure out the answers to and wanting to find my own health answers. And I think we actually have some overlapping parts of our story here when it comes to like health declining and autoimmune disease from what I’m remembering. Is that part of your story as well?

Ryan: Yes, yes. So, that’s… So, I think about 10… So, during one of the downtimes, so 10 years ago, my wife and I we just had our fourth kid and right about that time, my mom passed away from cancer. Really it was like a two-month battle. She was only 63 at the time. One of my businesses fell apart. I tried to launch a print magazine, so I went to all this debt, so I had all this stress. And when you have so many kids, I know I think you have like 14, 15 kids, but I only have 4, but what happened was, you know, we started eating off their plate a little more, start gaining weight and combined with the stress, I started getting joint pain. And I would ignore it. I’m a guy. I try to toughen up and just play through it and run through it or do whatever to the point where, though, it kept getting worse and I woke up one day and I could barely walk. It was… I couldn’t step because it hurt that much and I couldn’t bend my fingers. And it took months and months of going to every kind of doctor and healthcare professional. I started with my general practitioner. I went to physical therapists. I went to chiropractors. I went to podiatrists because my feet hurt. I went to my good friend who’s an orthopedic surgeon. And no one could figure it out ’till finally I went to a rheumatologist. And he looked at me and then saw my fingers were swollen, my feet were swollen, I gave him all the history and in about 10 seconds, he looked at me he said, “Oh, you have an autoimmune disorder, it’s called psoriatic arthritis.” And I’m like, “Oh, that doesn’t sound good.”

So, that was the beginning of this journey back to health. I mean, I gained 40 pounds. Everything was just falling apart physically. And it took me a lot of starts and stops. I tried a complete inflammation free diet. I went all in. Went to a naturopath. They said, “Okay. No more sugar. No more dairy. No more gluten ever.” I’m like, “What?” And I tried that for two weeks. Couldn’t do it. It was just too hard, to be honest with you. I know people can do it. I just couldn’t. So, lots of ups and downs ’till about two years ago, I said, “You know what? That’s it. My symptoms are starting to come back. I don’t wanna go on methotrexate,” which is the drugs they recommended. “So, how do I figure this out?” And I said, “Let me just win the morning. Let me start off something in the morning that’s good for me on the go. I got the four kids. I’ve run businesses. I don’t have time to do a lot of stuff. Let me… Is there a good bar?” And I just had a bar every morning. And the problem was I couldn’t find a bar, though, that didn’t have dairy, gluten, added sugar, sugar alcohol and all that stuff. And that gave me the big, “Well, maybe I can create one for myself and maybe there’d be some other people that would like it.” And that became this journey back to health and really focusing on simplification and that’s become this business now called Rewind where it’s about rewinding the years and having things that make you feel good physically, emotionally, mentally, non-inflammatory. And now at the pinnacle, Katie, I’m talking with “The Wellness Mama.” Look at this. It’s amazing how far I’ve come.

Katie: Oh, I love that. And I think your story and my story, like I said, they overlap a little bit and they illustrate that we do have to become, like, partners in our own health and that there is such a personalized and individualized aspect to it, but at the same time there are some commonalities like those whole real foods and avoiding certain common inflammatory triggers in those spaces that can be kind of universally helpful across the board. How long did that process look for you? I know I also recovered from Hashimoto’s and I’m now in remission and all my numbers are great. But how long did that journey take for you?

Ryan: I think from the first time I was diagnosed it was about two years of me trying different things, you know, being good and saying, “Okay. I’m starting to get some symptoms. Let me go strict. No sugar, no dairy, no gluten.” And then I would last a couple weeks and then I’d kind of slowly fall off the wagon and then I’d go back. So, it was two years of that ’till the breaking point I’ll never forget. My wife and I took our kids on vacation, went down to Florida, and, you know, I wore a pair of jeans going down because the northeast, Connecticut. And I was putting the same jeans back on after the vacation coming home and they didn’t fit. And I asked my wife at the hotel, I said, “Did you dry clean my jeans? What’s going on? Why can’t they fi…” And she said, “I didn’t touch your jeans. What are you talking about?” And I gained weight. And I got home and I was so sick and I went I had a double ear infection and went to the doctor and then they said, “You have high blood pressure. You got some serious things starting to happen here.”

And that was, like, the scary point. So, it took two years of up and down, starts and stops ’till I said, “You know what? I need something that…” You’re right. “That has the universal principles of anti-inflammation that’s gonna make me feel good, but something that’s not so restrictive for me that I feel like I can never do it and I’m gonna fall off the wagon again.” So, I needed something that had a little built-in flexibility, which is how I came up with my kind of thing about the ’80s which we can go into in a few minutes, but that was… And I think it’s important for everyone to kind of know themselves and know their own body and see what makes them feel good and what doesn’t make them feel good. Right? What’s against it? So, it was two years of start and stop and then now I’ve been 100%…well, I won’t say 100%, 99% symptom-free for these past two years. So it’s been like four years since I’ve been diagnosed.

Katie: Got it. And do you maintain that same level of, like, dietary restriction now or… I found that once I was able to heal the underlying issues, I actually have a lot more leeway now.

Ryan: Yeah, yeah. And that’s exactly what happened. Now, I have this theory, live like the ’80s. And you know Rewind, we kind of have a fun retro thing, we talk about the ’80s because that was the best decade ever. But my idea was with the ’80s if I can do that Pareto’s principle of 80% of the time I’m gonna eat real good, clean whole foods, as many vegetables as I want, like, unlimited veggies, unlimited fruits and veggies, all good stuff and 80% really good stuff, but yet, you know what, give myself a little bit of leeway with that 20%. So, if there’s a salad and it has all this good stuff, so I love… Luckily, I like a lot of healthy foods now. I love sardines and olive oil. That’s one of my favorite things in the world. That in a bowl of greens. So, I’ll have maybe Swiss chard or arugula or kale. So, that’s, like, the 80% really good, but it’s missing a little something. So, maybe I’ll throw in some croutons, which I shouldn’t have, but that’s my little 20%. And because it has that little crunch and that little extra flavor, it makes me really look forward to the salad instead of just saying, “Oh, it’s good.” I really look forward to it. So, that is my way to kind of play with the 80/20 and give myself some of that flexibility. So, I’m definitely not 100% strict, but I try to eat really well 80% of the time. And if I’m not feeling good, what I find is I’ll kind of move up to the 90s and tighten it up even more and go 90%. And it’s worked. It’s worked well for me and for people that I’ve helped that feels like it gives them a little bit of that leeway.

Katie: Yeah. Well, I love the tie in with the ’80s. I’m a huge fan of the Pareto principle as well and I use that in a lot of areas of life both, like, dietary and fitness, but also just time and organization and house management. I feel like it’s kind of almost universally applicable. But I think it also speaks to another really important point which is… Because I did the exact same thing. I had that cycle for years of… All my symptoms would flare and I would feel bad and then I would tighten everything up to probably a neurotic level and be 100% compliant, which is not sustainable, and then eventually fall off the wagon. And I think that a big key of it, for many people, we all have ideas of what we probably should be doing or we know that we should be eating less sugar or we know we need to avoid certain inflammatory things, but it’s keeping that consistent motivation and focus on being able to do it and I think that’s where that 80/20 comes into play because it makes it sustainable.

Ryan: Yeah. And you know what? It just gives us a little bit of a break. And we put so much stress and pressure on ourselves. And I know obviously, a large majority of people listening to this are moms. There are some that don’t have kids, but we’re under so much pressure, anyway, you know, so much stress caring for not just ourselves, but our family that, you know, you see…and you see it all the time, Katie. You see the diet books. And what’s one of the first pages they have? It’s always within the first 10 pages. It’ll say something like, “Forbidden foods. Ten foods you can never eat again for the rest of your life.” And you look at it and you’re like, “Are you telling me I could never have a chocolate chip cookie forever?” We’re gonna have a problem. So, I think giving people a little bit of a break and saying, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. Let’s stop worrying about perfection and let’s get really good and dialed in. And I know everyone is different. Everyone is motivated by different things. But I think when you start to do this, knowing that you know what? I could have that cookie, but I choose not to. You don’t have to eat stuff that’s not the greatest for you 20% of time, but you can if you want. I’ll give an example, how this works. So, when I was at my height of just disgusting, like, falling off the wagon, my go-to junk food was plain M&Ms. That was a crack for me. What’s yours, Katie? What’s your “This is like the greatest thing in the world.”? Everyone has something.

Katie: Yeah. I mean, much less anymore. I don’t really crave anything, but it would be… For me, it’s salty stuff, not sweet stuff. So, it would be like chips or french fries probably.

Ryan: Okay. So, for me, it was M&Ms, plain M&Ms. Every night, I would have like a bowl of plain M&Ms, just watching TV and trying to eat away like my stress. And I still… I rarely have M&Ms, but I will have them once in a while, maybe, like, when I go to the movies, like, once a month or something. But the other night I got my kids a little treat and I bought myself a little bag of plain M&Ms, like, a little tiny bag. And it’s been sitting in my house for five days. I just didn’t want it. I don’t want it. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna eat it. But the fact that it’s not like I have this pressure and I feel like, “Oh my God, I’m resisting because I could never have it again,” knowing that if I want to I could, but I just choose not to. Giving yourself that power is… Sounds redundant. Giving yourself that power is powerful. And you’re right. You’re to the point now where you don’t even crave it. And I’m kind of getting there too. Again, I just don’t feel like having it anymore. But I think if it was a diet or “diet,” a restrictive thing where it says, “You can never have sugar. You can never have an M&M. You can never have a cookie. You can never have this. You can never have a slice of pizza the rest of your life,” then I feel that pressure and resistance. Again, this is me personally, and everyone is different. But you do that enough over time and you start feeling good, you don’t want to feel bad again, like, you don’t want to have the M&Ms or the pizza because you know how it makes you feel.

Katie: Exactly. And I think that’s the mindset shift that was pivotal for me and I think everybody’s tipping point of getting here is a little bit different, but it was that shifting focus from foods being good or bad and needing to deprive myself and being angry at my body for what it wasn’t to switching to a point of view of “I want to nourish my body with things that are good because I love my body and I’m trying…and I wanna support it and nourish it,” versus deprive and just taking away that deprivation mindset made all the difference because I think we do have that thing as humans too, like, or at least I maybe I’m projecting, I have that thing where if I’m told I can’t do something, even if I didn’t wanna do it in the first place, now I’m like, “Well, now I do.” It’s kind of like right now we’re all stuck at home. I don’t usually wanna go anywhere anyway, but now that I can’t go anywhere, of course I want to go somewhere.

Ryan: You’re like, “I wanna walk into Target and just hug strangers.” That’s all you wanna do now.

Katie: Exactly.

Ryan: Yeah, yeah. With no gloves, just feeling everyone’s faces. Look, everyone… I think most people feel that. When you’re told you can’t do something, you want it even more. It’s like the restaurant. You can walk by and there could be an empty restaurant and then the restaurant next door has a line at the door, but you want that because you can’t get in. So, yeah, it is pretty powerful that when you just say…you make that shift to, “I just wanna feed myself, my body with really, really good stuff.” But knowing that if I wanna have a little bit of flex time, if I wanna have something that I know isn’t the greatest for me, but maybe it’s a celebratory thing and maybe you don’t like drinking alcohol, like, I think I maybe have one beer every like three or four months. That’s my alcohol. You could maybe say, “Okay. I’m gonna have a glass of alcohol, I’m gonna have a glass of wine,” and not beat yourself up over it or feel guilty or not go out with your friends or your family or go to any holidays anymore because they’re gonna have wine and you feel bad and you’re sitting there the whole night staring at it and just miserable. That’s not fun either.

So, it’s kind of this, this flexibility of giving yourself a little bit of a break and just filling up with the good stuff. When I discovered…when I really, really started to discover, like, how good vegetables are a couple of years ago because I didn’t…I ate a little bit but not a lot, man, it’s life-changing. And you look now and it’s really sad, Katie. You look at the typical American diet and what they eat and there’s just, like, no vegetables. Everything is brown and fried and sandwiches and fried food and pizza. It’s just… It has no nutritional value. Their idea of vegetables is, “Oh, well, I had some lettuce on a hamburger,” or, “I ate ketchup with my fries.” And that’s it. It’s really sad. And people have this misconception that vegetables are just…they taste bad. It couldn’t be further from the truth. My oldest daughter who’s 16 she loves making vegetables. Every day she’s experimenting. She’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna do some Brussel sprouts and I’m gonna try to add this and add these little spices and…” My kids all love eating vegetables, and I think it’s pretty cool.

Katie: Yeah, I love it. Mine too. And me too. And that was something I had to learn as an adult as well because I didn’t grow up loving vegetables and now I can’t imagine not eating as many as I do because I love them. But I think another part of this that was a key for me and I’m guessing for you as well is to simplify and automate as much as possible the things that need to be repeatable to make something a habit versus I feel like the more decisions are built into something, the less likely it is to succeed over time because you hit decision fatigue. And so for me, I eat many of the same meals, like, at least lunches, I’ll eat the same thing over and over the same three meals because it’s simple, I don’t have to think about it. One of them has definitely sardines, but it takes away the decision fatigue and it takes away the choice of it and then I can just stick with it because it’s there, it’s easy and I know what I’m doing. And the same thing with, like, I eat usually a six to eight-hour window every day which is just an easy change that I made that works for me, it won’t work for everyone. But that was a huge key for me. And so I think that’s where things like the bars come into play as well because it’s a simple, repeatable habit that is always there, there’s no decision involved and that tastes great. So, talk about the bars and the formulation. What went into that and why did you decide on bars?

Ryan: And you’re 100% right. The less decisions you have to make, the less willpower and fatigue you start getting. And I’m the exact same way. Every morning it’s a bar with supplements and every lunch it’s either sardines with greens or rice cauliflower with sardines or a piece of salmon or something like that. And that’s 99% of time. That’s my breakfast and lunch. The reason with bars is just for me, it’s really about convenience and something that I’m gonna stick with. And I’ve always loved bars. I love the convenience of them. But I said, “Well, if I’m going to create a bar, if I wanna…” If in a perfect world, because all the bars I always having, the protein bars, and I’m sure you’ve seen this a lot, most protein bars, the protein source is whey protein, which is dairy, which is not great for inflammation. I don’t react well to dairy. And a lot of them, all of the, you know, cookie-flavored ones or anything like that they all had gluten as well. And now the big trend was everyone is like, “Oh, we’re keto this. We’re keto that.” So, what they do is they say we only have one gram of sugar, but they’ll jam it with all this sugar alcohol, which tends not to be the greatest.

So, I’m like, why can’t there be a really good, clean, healthy bar that even has some greens, so we snuck in some spinach and kale, but tastes really, really good? That was the thing because you can have a bar… And there were some bars that are healthier, but they just didn’t taste good and I didn’t wanna have it every morning. I still want something that tastes good. And that was the original idea behind it. Can I create a bar? Can I have one that tastes really, really good that doesn’t have the added sugar, the gluten or the dairy? And it’s only made with good stuff. So, it’s non-GMO, no artificial flavors, no artificial sweeteners, no corn, no rice, no nothing like that. And that’s what we set out to do. And it took probably seven months of, like, playing and back and forth and tasting and then, you know, people don’t realize when you make a bar you can have the best ingredients in the world, the best nutritional facts, and maybe even you get the flavor profile, but then there’s the texture. And maybe you have too many of one thing and it’s way too chewy and sticky or it’s too crumbly, or it’s too wet, or it’s too dry. So, nailing all those, the flavor and the texture and the nutritional profile, and then the actual ingredients, it’s a lot easier said than done. And it drives me a little crazy when, you know, we put all this effort into the bar and someone on Facebook will be like, “Oh, why don’t you…how come you didn’t just make it with blah, blah, blah?” I’m like, “You have no idea how hard it is to make a bar like this.” I wish I could just say, “Oh, yeah, we’ll just add that. Cool. No problem.”

So, it took a while. But that was the idea, just something convenient. My wife calls it grab and go. And as a really, really nice side benefit, which I didn’t know originally, my kids and kids in general love it. All my kids have the bars every day. My daughter who’s on the tennis team in high school, her tennis team they always have the bars. My little three-year-old nephew, Luke, loves the bars everyday. Rewind bar. So, it’s pretty cool to see families now enjoying it and having something that’s good. And because we have nine grams of fiber, they fill you up. So, I have the bar in the morning and that’s it. I’m good. I have the bar in the morning. I work out a couple of hours later, and then I have lunch. So, it holds me over for a few hours.

I did try like you…I know you do…if you eat in that six to eight-hour window, a lot of people call intermittent fasting. I tried that. I couldn’t do it. All I did was think about food. I was nasty, Katie. I was not a good person. So, for me, the bar worked for me. It took the edge off and it gave me a little bit of fuel for those first few hours in the morning.

Katie: Yeah. I think fasting is very much an individualized thing. And like I said, it works for some people. I’m definitely not recommending it for everyone. And certainly, a lot of women actually should not intermittent fast if there’s any kind of hormone issue and so it’s not something I would recommend everyone do. I think it just speaks to, we all have to find kind of our thing that works. And I know in your case from what I remember of your story, you lost a pretty substantial amount of weight and you have now reversed your autoimmune disease. That had to be an amazing journey. What do you do? What is your routine and your day look like now both nutritionally, exercise and just lifestyle to maintain that?

Ryan: Yeah. And it was a really, really nice byproduct because just by doing this, I automatically ate less calories because the bar is about 160 calories. So, rather than having crappy food or a doughnut or whatever, just that alone was saving me calories and losing all the weight. Yeah. So, I’m down the 40 something pounds. I’m the exact same weight and pant size I was in high school, which is still mind-blowing considering I’m gonna be 48. So, I’ve never felt so good and my symptoms are gone and I never needed to get on the drugs. So, in terms of my routine. So, nutritionally, my routine is pretty much always the same just like you, very structured, bar in the morning, lunch is usually some kind of salad with a protein, usually sardines. And often I’ll have a bar in between lunch and dinner too because I eat lunch really early. I’ll have lunch at, like, 11:00, 11:30 in the morning because I’m up so early, and then we’ll eat dinner as a family at like 5:00, 5:30. So, I’ll usually have another bar around 3:00, 2:30. And dinner, it’s just different things. Whatever my wife makes, we bring in, and… There’s oftentimes, because I love it so much, I’ll have another salad with a different protein. And I’m not… I guess I’m probably more pescetarian-ish, but I don’t subscribe to any specific diet. I just tend not to eat a lot of meat, especially red meat. It just doesn’t make me feel good, but for some people, they love it and they eat all red meat. Again, I don’t judge. So, that’s nutritionally and it’s that 80/20 rule, 80% really, really good, clean, healthy veggies and greens and 20% go crazy.

Exercise wise, this was interesting because I was a trainer and even my master’s degree is exercise physiology, I always believed exercise and fitness was 90% of your results. And that’s what we were told as a trainer. Ninety percent is fitness and exercise and you got to know your progressions and your upper body, lower body, your splits, your… And I was obsessed with that. And then I started getting older, I’m like, “You know what? Let me just feel good. And what can I do that more importantly than the workout, what am I gonna do consistently that I enjoy and I know is not gonna take up a lot of time?” That’s the thing with me. It’s gotta be efficient. It’s gotta be simple. Like you, you said with your lunch, you eat pretty much the same thing every day so you know what to do, it’s one less decision you have to make. My workouts are almost identical every single day, but I add a little bit of progression. So, I’ll take you through it. You ready for it, Katie? You’re ready for the workout?

Katie: Let’s go.

Ryan: Here we go. It’s in my bedroom. I have a treadmill and a couple little free weights and kettlebells there and a pull-up bar over the door. So, I go on the treadmill, I go at the highest incline. Our treadmill I think is about 10%. And I walk at about 4.1 miles an hour, so it’s like a fast walk. And I’ll do that for about two and a half minutes. So, it’s 200 meters on the thing. I ran track, so I always think in terms of meters. So, the equivalent is two, two and a half minutes, so it’s about half a lap on a track. I jump off. Obviously, stop the treadmill first. I’m not a lunatic. Stop the treadmill, jump off, and I’ll usually do like pull-ups, like 8 to 10 pull-ups, 15 to 20 push-ups and 15 to 20 abdominal core exercises. Then I go back on the treadmill, I do another two, two and a half minutes, stop the treadmill, get off and do another exercise, sometimes like kettlebell swings. And that’s it. So, each of those little two minutes, so the two minutes on the treadmill, and then the strength exercise, that’s one, like, little mini circuit and I do eight of those. So, with the exercise and the treadmill, it takes maybe 20, 25 minutes tops, and I’m done. And I’ve got some good cardiovascular benefit, I’ve got the strength in, which I think is really important. Cardio is great, but especially as we start getting older, we need strength exercise. It doesn’t have to be hardcore weights, but we need at least resistance training, could be bodyweight training, old school push-ups and bodyweight squats. That stuff still works. And it’s all done at my house. I don’t have to go to the gym. I don’t have to spend time driving back and forth and showering there. And it’s easy. I just did the workout right before we started this call.

So, that’s my nutrition. That’s my fitness. I do that five to six times a week. Pretty much the same workout except I might switch up the strength exercise and maybe I’ll have one day it’s all kettlebell swings or something else in there instead. And just simplifying. I’ll tell you that the biggest thing I did when I was going through this, I knew that autoimmune is definitely worsened with stress. And I was traveling a lot. I was speaking at all these marketing events and selling and doing all this stuff, just wasn’t making me feel good. And I was missing stuff in my kid’s life. And about six years ago, one of the biggest decisions I made was…well, actually, this was eight years ago now that we’re looking back. For six years, I’m not traveling at all. I said no to every single speaking gig, every one. And I turned away hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, maybe a million over the course of those years by not speaking. But I just wanted to focus on my wife, my kids, my family, and I made them the center of my universe and I said, “I’m gonna build everything. I’m gonna build my business, my life, everything around my family.”

So, every decision is run through that filter of, “Is this bringing me closer to my goals of spending more time with them and building a business of soul or is this taking me further apart?” And if it was taking me further away from it, I said no. And just that simplification, it made my relationship with my wife stronger with my kids. I don’t miss any…I don’t miss a play or a sporting event and I still coach all their sports. I’m done with my day by 3:30, 4:00. So, I carpool all night, which isn’t always the best, but I get to spend time with them. I’ve coached every sport from football, to baseball, to soccer, to lacrosse. You name it, I’ve coached it. And it just… And I’m…look, I know I’m blessed to be able to do it. I don’t have a typical 9:00 to 5:00 job, but the simplifying of the nutrition, the simplifying of my workouts and the simplifying of just my life, it just changed everything and I just feel so much happier and more content with the way things have gone and I feel better.

Katie: And I love that you brought that up about exercise because I think that’s also a source of guilt for a lot of people is the idea that we should be doing more harder exercise. And you’re right, especially with certain conditions like autoimmune disease, very often we need to give the body a break and rest becomes more important or at least restorative, regenerative movement, not just high intensity as hard as possible which is…or like extended cardio which is what society kind of, at least a lot of times, presents as the option. And I know in my own journey, I’ve now lost over 60 pounds as well in the last couple of years. And I didn’t exercise at all during the really intense part of that weight loss because I’m a data nerd and a math person and in general, if you’re doing hard workouts, you’re going to make yourself more hungry. And if you’re trying to heal, you need to let those calories and that energy go to healing. And I’m not saying not move, but I didn’t focus at all on exercise during that time and I found the things that were the most important like that rest and the calm and being with the family, the things that really do help you rebuild. And I think that point can’t be stated enough is, you know, it’s easy to try to focus on all of these silver bullets and exercising more, “I need to take more supplements,” or whatever it is, but you’ve got to find those core things, and sometimes that means doing less, not doing more.

Ryan: Hundred percent. I can’t agree with you more on that one. And believe me, I was drinking the Kool-Aid 25 years ago. I was all about the high intensity. Actually, I taught high-intensity exercise classes, then I remember when CrossFit came out and everyone’s thinking like, “You got to work harder and play hard, work hard.” And they’re showning, you know, 60-year-olds flipping tires. And I was totally into that stuff, but I’m like, “You know what? It’s not necessarily best for everyone.” You should… And I tried. And again, I’m not putting down CrossFit. There are people that love it. If it works for you, great. I tried it at two different places. I’m like… I try everything. And both times I ended up getting hurt. And it didn’t make me feel good. It actually broke my body down too much and I was not getting enough rest. Sleep is just as important as the exercise. And you know, where I used to believe it was 80% exercise or 90% exercise, 10%, 20% nutrition, it’s flipped. If you’re eating well and filling yourself with the good stuff and getting the rest and recovery, great.

And I’m all about now, like, the lower impact stuff. Again, I was in…so, I ran track competitively all through college and I was a sprinter, so as hard and as fast as you can. But now I enjoy the walking part. I like that part. And another thing I do is I try every day to just walk 20 minutes outside, usually with my wife. If she’s not around, just by myself just thinking and just taking that time. That’s almost like my spiritual meditative time, just getting out. There’s about 60 acres of nature preserve in our backyard, so I just walk the trails and it’s like one of the greatest things that we can do. And it’s more important to find stuff that you like and it makes you feel good verse it’s the hottest trend or get this, you know, stupid ab wheel thing and all your fat’s gonna melt off, which is the most ridiculous thing in the world because it doesn’t work like that. The weight loss and the abs it’s made in the kitchen, not in the gym. So, I’m glad you’re bringing that stuff up, Katie, and showing people and showing them it doesn’t have to be high crazy intensity exercise.

Katie: Yeah. It’s amazing to me how many…how much our stories overlap and I love that you’re spreading this message and giving people a practical, repeatable habit that they can implement to help get there faster.

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A few questions I’d love to ask toward the end of interviews and I look forward to hearing your answer is, what are some things that are less known or not well understood about your area of expertise that you like to talk about?

Ryan: Well, we definitely covered a few of them today. I think number one is that ’80s rule. I think a lot of people are all about strict diets and what you can and can never eat again. So, I think giving yourself that flexibility is definitely my nutritional philosophy. And the workout stuff too. I mean, that’s the second thing. It’s the more about the consistent, repeatable, lower impact, but also getting bang for your buck and adding in strength exercise.

And I’ll give you a third thing. With Rewind, we definitely have fun with some of the retro ’70s, ’80s, ’90s pop culture. And I love it. It’s fun. But there actually have been scientific studies showing the mental, the psychological, physiological benefits of nostalgia. And I’m not talking about sitting around and thinking about when you were a kid and just crying and getting depressed and living in the past. I’m not talking about that at all. But it does feel good to kind of go back a little bit and watch a movie from your childhood or listen to an album. You should see. If you saw my space here it’s filled with hundreds and hundreds of records, cassette tapes, VHS tapes, arcade machines, movie posters here. I’m looking at “Back to the Future” and “The Goonies” and “Breakfast Club” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” stuff from my youth. And it does feel good. It really does. And obviously, whatever decade you guys were born in, if you were more ’60s or ’70s or ’90s person, but just going back and having a little bit that nostalgia is good for you. And I’m trying to spread that too. Just go back and feel good. Live in the present, but it’s good for you to go back a little bit sometimes.

Katie: I agree. And that’s one thing we’ve been doing lately to pass the time is we have a playlist my kids have made for cleaning or just for, like, dance parties around the house and it’s a lot of ’80s music and it’s fun and it does take you back.

And I love having those kind of touchpoints. I think that’s awesome. Also, I know we’ve mentioned the bars multiple times and, of course, there’ll be a link in the show notes at wellnessmama.fm. But also for any of you listening, the website is rewindbars.com if I make sure I got that right, Ryan. And then there is a discount code MAMA, M-A-M-A. That’s for 30% off, which is awesome. That’s a huge discount. So I just wanna make sure we said that out loud. And, of course, it’ll also be in the show notes as well. What kind of flavors do you guys have?

Ryan: Right now with the bars… Well, when people are listening to this, we’re gonna have a new flavor come out. We have a new mint brownie coming out, which is…and that was, by the way, my 14-year-old daughter came up with that one because she’s obsessed with mint and I’m like, “All right, let’s try it,” and it’s incredible. So, we have mint brownie. We have cinnamon coffee cake, which is my personal favorite. We have chocolate coconut. And then we have almond butter and jelly. And they’re all gluten-free, vegan, no artificial flavors, no GMOs, no inflammatory ingredients, not added sugar. So, those are the flavors. And then we have new green drinks that just came out. We have orange, we have berry, and we have pineapple. And they are, by far, the best-tasting green drinks ever created. I could say that because I’ve tried every green drink and every one of our customers say the exact same thing. So, they’re the best tasting anti-inflammatory green drinks in the world. I don’t talk about them as much because they’re brand new, but I’m really excited about those. And we’re creating lots of new smoothie flavors and fun stuff with that.

Katie: Awesome. And of course, those will be linked in the show notes, you guys can find them. Just head over to rewindbars.com. And then another question I love to wrap up with is, is there a book or a number of books that have had a really dramatic impact on your life? And if so, what are they and why?

Ryan: I think the initial book that changed the way I thought about things and really got me kind of into the personal development world, read a long time ago, it was “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. I read that in, I think, like, early ’90s and mid-’90s and it was just life-changing. I was like, “This is…” It was amazing to see and to start learning about personal development from this thing that I never even realized. I remember my dad had tapes when I was younger and he had tapes by like Denis Waitley and I listened to those. I thought those were kind of cool and interesting, but “The 7 Habits” was the one where I was old enough to really get it and understand and got me into this whole different mindset of priorities and that he had the whole chart and all this kind of stuff. And I just thought that was really cool. That was definitely, like, a life-changing impactful book. I haven’t read it in a long time. I should reread it because that was the one I remember as kind of started me off on this journey.

Katie: Awesome. Well, Ryan, this has been such a fun conversation as it always is when talking to you. And I really appreciate you being here and sharing your story today.

Ryan: Well, I appreciate you having me on. And you’re right, we’re so similar. I think I’m gonna start a new site called Wellness Daddy because I am ready to rock this. No. But I appreciate you and I always love talking to you and to Seth and so I am always here to help anytime, any way you need me, Katie. Thanks for having me.

Katie: Oh, thank you for the time. And thanks to all of you as always for listening and for sharing one of your most valuable assets, your time, with both of us today. We’re so grateful that you did and I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the “Wellness Mama” podcast.

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/ryan-lee/

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rahitwocents · 6 years

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Rahi Rambles - 2017

Well...the one and only time I used to the Tumblr machine to ramble on about random shit, otherwise known as my year-end blog. Mostly because I have A LOT to get off my chest. So lets get into this.

Firstly absence from the Youtube side of things, well this is mostly due to me being busy the past couple of years with my jobs...all 2 of them. In addition the videos that I like to make take a looong time to make and fighting Adobe Premiere and the lack of resources and it was honestly disheartening to put all of my time and effort into a video and no-one seeing it and it not getting any views...except for the Loot Crate videos, fuck those. The landscape has also changed and unless you're an attractive squeaky clean Youtuber or a former viner its the worst time to be a "Youtuber" with the Adpocalypse and shit. Trust me just see Youtube Rewind 2017 That's not to say I've completely given up, once I have some space and better resources, ill definitely get back into it. Just that my priorities are elsewhere right now.

Besides I had my own stuff to focus on, that's not to say I've been completely out of the loop I always keep my ear the ground and there are things about it, I still love and certain Youtubers that I still love. but honestly if 2017 is known for any one thing its that well...it pretty much sucks to be a celebrity right now as well. But lets leave that at that.

So yeah for the life stuff that the 3/4 of you are here for.

At the end of 2015 I got my first real adult job, only a few months after graduating, now sure the job was definitely nothing to write home about and it was on a temporary contract that was flaccid as fuck yet they just kept on jerking off and jerking off and jerking off and extending instead of just giving me something more solid. But I can't lie that job did turn my life around in a lot of ways, I was sleeping and waking up normally, I made a bunch of new friends and I was hungry, motivated and eager to please even if the job was basic admin stuff, I loved it...for the most part. In addition to dangling carrots in front of me, every time I asked about a new contract and I was told I had to work up to it, they don't hand them out or whatever the fuck. Long story, short It was a massive lie perfectly corporate. While I did love the job, I always knew I never wanted to be there for longer than necessary, 1 or 2 years at the most. I became more and more frustrated when the writing was on the wall and I became pigeon holed...pigeon holed with someone who hated my fucking guts but you know you acquiesce right? especially when I was finally promised a fixed term contract(never happened). I then get moved to a different section of the office, a way from pretty much everyone and forced to work with someone who hated my guts lets call her...hmmmm...Satan or Miss Claridge whatever. So yeah im forced to work with Satan and pretending to get a long for the sake of my position. Eventually we get moved to a new team with new people as in completely new people who had just joined the company where as me and Satan had been there for 6 months to a year and WE all got promised Permanent Contract yay!! except wait...I thought we all had to earn it? and they don't just get handed out?...okay you just flat out lied to me for over a year. Thanx...but whatever I acquiesce even if I hadn't planned on being there much longer.

Fast forward about oh...I dunno 3 weeks give or take and I get fired over the phone...my permanent contract hadn't materialised...not that it was ever in progress to begin with, by the dude from the agency.

What's bizarre is how it all went down. On Friday, I get the call but I missed it because this dude decides to ring me after hours at like 6 so I missed his call, I ring back and he misses my calls so i'm like whatever and I leave it for the weekend. I go into work on Monday, no-one says a thing to me and everyone acts like its a normal day. but I call the dude and he says he'll call after work and I ask 'if theres a problem and he say's no' another lie. I get the call and I get fired rather unceremoniously. The reasons were because I said 'it is what it is' about the training we were in and I apparently I wasn't getting on well with the new team even though it was a new team and we'd only been together for...2 weeks? and in general i'm pretty shy, something that I told my manager but...whatever. oh and I said that training wasn't the same without my friend...on MY Facebook.

So I went back the next day to get my stuff and I'm not allowed to say bye to anyone or anything. So yeah that was shitty but...IT IS WHAT IT IS right?

So yeah I was devastated and felt crushed that all of my work over the year had gone to waste and i'm back to square 1. I was scared, confused and didn't think i'd get hired again. Especially when people had asked why I left my last job I had to make something up, I was THAT embarrassed.

I bounced around for a bit applying here, there and everywhere. Signing up to agencies, going for interviews etc.

So i'm driving one day and when I had lost all hope, I get a call about a job going in Hertford, real basic data entry on a 2 week contract. I took it, of course even if it was just to ease my conscience. Little did I know it would become the best job in the world, 8 months later and I feel better about myself and more valued than ive ever been.

And a lot of that has to go to my manager who has helped get rid of the massive chip on my shoulder. You see when I did lose my job, I lost a lot if not all of the confidence in myself and I was extremely cynical and negative despite all of the awesome stuff that was happening, went from temporary to fixed term within like 2 months, which was huge fro me. I always kept my cynicism to myself but my manager Terrance(I'll call her that because I got South Park on the brain) has helped me restore my confidence in myself and made me realise how awesome I am and I cant thank her enough for that. I know i'm aloof to all the nice things she says and does for me but hopefully that I always appreciate it, im just working on expressing it better. But yeah, thanks to her ive gotten back the confidence in myself and im ready to keep slayin em. Thanks Terrance :) I'm in your debt.

As for 2018...well I dunno, there are things that I wanna do but im also enjoying not knowing whats gonna happen next.

Anyways im pretty tired...so yeah have a good one, yo!

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love-takes-work · 7 years

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SDCC 2017 Zach Callison Interview

Rewind and Pause interviewed Zach Callison in this fifteen-minute interview. Here’s a sorta-transcript--not word for word, but basically what the questions are and how he answered, paraphrased.

Question: What inspired you to wear that today?

Zach: This is my style now. I'm getting into fashion and music, trying to create an aesthetic. My designer's father was the designer for Elvis.

Question: Over the series, Steven has grown up while maintaining innocence. How do you portray a character who's had to maintain innocence while dealing with all that horror around him?

Zach: His innocence is part of who he is. He'll always have childlike energy. He's happy-go-lucky. But the things that happen to him make him be tested, make him more serious, make him more practical. His arc is those two things fighting against each other. It's hard to maintain that balance.

Question: Because of all that change, is there something that you, as a voice actor, want for Steven at the end of this storyline? [Not sure I heard this right--it was noisy.]

Zach: I try not to do that as much. I don't even read the storyboards before the session because I like to discover it as I read. I want some closure for Steven, which is hard because no one knows, but they reach a point where there's only so much they can tell him. It's hard for him to process all the information about his mom and all the unknowns.

Question: There are a lot of episodes where Steven is narrating as it goes along because he might be the only speaking character on the screen for minutes as a time. How do you approach that to keep it interesting?

Zach: Expository dialogue is really hard to make legitimate and not explanatory. The writers keep it natural. I talk to myself a lot, he has liberty to do that as well. The show is called Steven Universe and it's always from his perspective, we ALWAYS see the show through his eyes. So the device of having him talk to himself helps. That's more justification for it, that and it being a kids' show. I didn't even realize it was a writing device until Rebecca explained it to me. Genius!

Question: You've been voicing Steven for four years--

Zach: Five years, since the pilot.

Question: So what's the most challenging thing about voicing Steven in Season 4?

Zach: My voice change has stabilized now, but it's still hard. I get sick a lot, so I have to take care of my voice a lot. It's easier now, and I spend so much time with him that it's second nature. New characters, I don't have that opportunity. It's more the physical limitations than mental or emotional.

Question: How has growing up with Steven changed you?

Zach: We've grown up together. It's affected that arc and my ability to relate to struggling with who you are, growing up with more responsibility on your shoulders. Rebecca said they want a real kid to play Steven, and that's a benefit. And it's opened so many doors for me, and it's an amazing opportunity to be around people who view art with a purpose. They care about their message and have passion. That experience has been formative for me.

Question: I wanna know what your favorite aspect of Steven is and what was your biggest shocking moment.

Zach: I love his sense of humor and that he always gives people a chance. Example: He's fighting Bismuth and he throws something at her while telling her to watch out. It's insightful to who he is as a person. Violence is the last resort. He tries to talk it out first. What shocked me the most was the whole Lars thing. I knew about it coming up, and then oh, that on screen, wow. It was very dramatic. It was a challenge to act. I call it actor candy. We get a lot of it.

Question: Like to kind of Jesus Lars back to life?

Zach: Jesus as a verb! It was really cool. Their relationship has been rocky. Steven wants to be his friend and Lars wasn't always there. I think this really cemented their friendship. I love anytime I get to work with Matt Moy and when they get to interact. It's an example of how sometimes he bridges the gap. Their relationship ended stronger.

Question: Do you have any Larses to whom you have been a Steven, and have you ever been a Lars to a Steven?

Zach: I've never resurrected someone from the dead. Not yet. There's a lot of life left to live, we'll see. I've had childhood friends trying to be cool and didn't want to hang out with a tiny kid that I was. (I didn't grow for a very long time.) It wasn't bullying, per se, but like "I wanna be cool and you're not cool so I don't wanna be around you."

Question: So you're quite a musician. Piano, dabbling in rock. Do you play any Steven music?

Zach: No, haven't learned any songs on instruments. I love doing covers, I took them down because I was very young. My friends called me "the Drops of Jupiter kid." I'm playing less than I should. It's been all about writing songs lately and trying to get them in the studio. I am dropping a single this fall ideally! Current plan. Start gigging and do what I love.

Question: Will you be doing it under your name?

Zach: Yes. I'll be playing as Zach Callison. I'll be hiring a band, it's rock music, I'll be playing the rock way, but I've done the actual band thing and it's impossible to keep together, so I decided to become a creative tyrant and take over the reins.

Question: Tell us about the Zach Callison show!

Zach: In the works. Sketch comedy show about making a sketch comedy show, very meta. We have digital shorts and a character development aspect. I'm teasing it on my social media. We're gonna go around pitching it.

Question: Music: have you talked to Rebecca, or Aivi & Surasshu about it?

Zach: Yes, I've sent to Rebecca for notes. Aivi hasn't heard my music, but she's been supportive.

Question: Steven has been working through the stages of grief on his mom, talk about that.

Zach: At first he just wanted to meet his mom, questions about who she was, and now he almost wishes he didn't know. He still doesn't know definitive answers about a lot of things. The Gems not giving him the truth really frustrated him.

Question: What will it take for him to forgive her?

Zach: I don't know the whole story. I don't know if he can at this point. Lots of things wouldn't be told to him. I'll have to find out eventually.

Question: You love the Cookie Cat rap, what else do you really love?

Zach: If you need a great actor, you've come to the right guy! And the Peter Pizzapopolous thing. Rebecca found out I speak Italian semi-fluently, so we've been working that in more. It's fun.

Question: Following up on Cookie Cat, it's predicted the whole show.

Zach: Some fans comment on that. I didn't even think, once I found out the Gems are aliens, I asked if that was intentional.

Question: People love the song, how do you feel about it being blown up?

Zach: Yeah, it's great, people request me to do it at cons all the time.

Question: Which of the relationships YOU have with Deedee, Michaela, or Estelle mirrors Steven's relationship with the respective Gem most?

Zach: All of them. From them to me and Grace, I always see us as really similar. The relationship between Deedee and me is like she's my second mom. She comes up before my mom in my phone because she's entered as Bird Mom. Michaela feels like a big sister. It's cool to have that dynamic.

Question: What can we look forward to in Season Five?

Zach: We showed some stuff in the panel. Lots of drama, but I can't say, I'm not qualified. It's a murder mystery coming, crazy story arcs we may or may not pursue, but I know too much and I've said too much.

#steven universe #zach callison #sdcc2017 #voice actors #myblog

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thesoundofnat · 7 years

Text

A Quarter After One, I’m A Little Drunk

@bacomnom said: Tony Stark and B12 (How do you accidentally set a shirt on fire?!?)

Tony, Rhodey

Summary: Tony and Rhodey get drunk and ask each other questions.

A/N: Silvo only said Tony, so I added Rhodey because I do love me some Tonyrhodey. This was supposed to be fluffy/happy, but I’m not sure if it’s really either? I hope you like it anyway!

Drabble challenge

[Read it on AO3]

Words: 1 033

“How do you accidentally set a shirt on fire?!?”

Tony scowled. “You… use fire close to it? It’s made out of flammable material…” He trailed off, most likely due to the expression on Rhodey’s face.

“I know how a shirt catches fire,” he snapped, his hand already at his temple as if it would help matters. “I just want to know why you did it.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed in that way that told Rhodey he was trying very hard to focus his gaze on him. Oh, he was far from sober, but then again, so was Rhodey.

“That was five years ago,” Tony eventually deadpanned. “How am I supposed to remember? You asked for a drunken mistake. Not the reason behind it.”

Rhodey burst out laughing. “Okay, okay, I did ask for that. I give. Your turn.”

Tony grinned, as if he’d won a great victory. “Okay, let’s see. Remember when your washing machine broke last year?”

Rhodey nodded, though he had a feeling he wouldn’t like this question.

“That wasn’t a natural malfunction, was it?”

“No.”

“So what happened?”

Rhodey sighed, his body slumping as he reached for his glass; not to drink, but just to hold. “I kicked it.”

“You kicked it?”

“Uh huh.”

“But why?”

Rhodey shrugged. “I was angry that day. Very angry. I had no way of letting anything out, and I was gonna do my laundry and it was just so loud and complicated that day.”

“So you decided to kill it.”

“Something like that.”

Tony barked out a laugh. “Oh, man. What were you even angry about?”

“Nuh uh. No more questions. My turn.”

Rhodey had no idea how this game had started. They had surely been playing truth or dare a minute ago, but it had evolved into whatever this was; where they only asked questions and got honest replies. This wasn’t how he’d imagined he would spend his Saturday night, but it had been way too long since it had just been him and Tony, so he hadn’t protested when his friend had suddenly appeared at his doorstep, looking lonely and desperate and so goddamn happy to see him. Rhodey knew Tony had that effect on him as well.

Tony was leaning back where he was sitting on the floor, nearly toppling over since only half his back was resting against the couch. “Go ahead.”

“What’s your biggest regret from college?”

Tony had visibly not been expecting the question, and his eyebrows met his hairline. “From college? Woah, okay, let me have a flashback.” He closed his eyes, his hands in the air as if that would allow him to pause time and rewind. Rhodey took a sip of his drink while he waited, his gaze never leaving Tony’s form.

“You keep asking about the past,” he said a few seconds later as he opened his eyes again. “We’re getting old, Rhodes, but surely you’re not getting nostalgic?”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Tony’s lips quirked, and Rhodey wasn’t sure what to make of it. “My biggest regret was probably not having let myself be the kid I actually was. At least at times.”

“I told you you would.”

Tony averted his eyes. “You did. I didn’t believe you back then. I thought I was too smart to be young.” He gulped down the rest of his beverage in one go. “‘Course, I started drinking and partying afterwards and told myself I was making up for lost time. Bullshit.”

“Tones.”

Tony shook his head. “Sorry. But there you have it. My biggest regret.”

“From college.”

“In general. It just happens to have taken place during college.”

They were silent for a moment, unsure of what direction to take this in now. Rhodey could ask more questions and let Tony vent, or they could pretend he hadn’t said anything. Let this night end on a positive note. Rhodey wanted both options so badly that he was starting to wonder if he could somehow combine them.

But he knew he couldn’t.

“You wanna hear my biggest regret from college?” he said instead, his voice loud and sudden as it sliced through the quiet.

Tony met his eyes curiously. “Sure.”

“The fact that I didn’t allow myself to date properly. I’m not just saying this because I’m still unmarried at this age or whatnot, but I entered college thinking I had to sleep around rather than form closer bonds. I regret it, because after graduation I was just lost. I had no idea how love or relationships worked.”

“Sounds like me.”

Rhodey grinned. “We’re both messes, huh?”

“We’re doing all right today, if I do say so myself. Don’t you think?”

“Could be worse.”

“It has been worse.”

“True.” Rhodey raised his glass. “To us.”

Tony grabbed an unopened beer bottle and clinked it against Rhodey’s glass. “To growth.”

Rhodey drank and nearly choked when he scrambled to say, “Maybe you shouldn’t open it,” when Tony moved to do just so.

Tony frowned. “Why?”

“Because I’m sure we can barely stand up with how much we’ve had to drink already.”

His theory turned out to be correct, and Rhodey led Tony to the bedroom once they’d managed to get to their feet after several attempts. He knew his friend hated his couch, and was therefore not going to subject his back to it - nor his own - for a few hours of sleep. They’d shared a bed countless of times before, and while it had been a few years since he saw nothing strange about doing it again.

They somehow shed most of their clothes and found themselves beneath the covers, but Rhodey felt too restless to settle down, so he chanced one last question before sleep found Tony. “What’s your biggest achievement from college? If you had to pick.”

Tony was silent for so long that Rhodey assumed he’d passed out instantly and was a bit startled when he suddenly said, “You.”

“Pardon?”

“You were my biggest achievement. Becoming your friend and somehow keeping you for all these years.”

Had Rhodey been quick to tear up he was sure he would be sobbing right now, but instead he just said, “Ditto, Tones,” and left it at that.

#tonyrhodey #tonyrhodey fic #iron man fic #mine #alcohol tw #a quarter after one I'm a little drunk #nat writes

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laniegabrielle · 5 years

Text

If only life had a rewind button......

If there was a rewind button in life, I spend my last dollar for the rest of my life just to go back and tell my deddy how much I love/loved him. Here is my life lesson and experience with addiction that changed my life forever.

After all the craziness about addiction on social media, I just wanna say that never ever take your loved ones for granted no matter how much it seems hopeless to be there for them. The recent events and posts I’ve seen have brought up unpleasant memories for me and I can’t get it off my mind. I was bitter about addiction, I would be the first to say how stupid and how my dad loved pain killers more than he loved me. I was angry and resentful towards him. All the broken promises, all the times he never showed up to see me, missed birthdays and Christmas. I wanted so bad for him to be there for not only myself but more importantly my sister. See Alexis was the soft hearted one, no matter what she was daddy’s girl. She showed her love as a daughter despite all the broken promises. She was there for him when I wouldn’t answer phone calls or messages, she assured him that she would always be there no matter what. This is the story of how my bitterness turned into empathy for drug addicts.

In November of 2012 I started level three Drug Court Classes. For having 4 Minor and Consumption Charges back to back.. I was 19 years old and just like to party. I never done drugs or seen drugs in my life. I experimented with pot and “fake weed” but that’s it. I myself and everyone in the class with me was so confused why I skipped level one and two for such a small charge. Everyone in the class had meth, heroin, crack etc charges. They had lost their kids, homes, life in general. Some had been addicted for 30 plus years and some had OD’ed more times then they could remember. I was sittin there wondering “what in the hell am I doing here” little did I know that God put me there for one of the most important lessons of my life. I was headed down a bad road and he knew that what I was about to go through that I’d need more than enough help to keep me from the edge.

I was in my second month of classes. I had told my story about my dad. I had listened to these other parents that chose drugs over their kids, I herd the hurt in their voice. I felt the pain of the fight they were fighting with their self. Still I resented my own father for his choices.

On December 8th 2012, I never imagined That it would be one of the worst days of my life. I got a call saying I needed to go to my moms. The sound of my Pawpaws voice in that phone call haunts me. I knew something was wrong. They sat me and my sister down, and the words “Jeremy is gone” came out. I sat there in shock as my sister broke down like I’ve never seen before. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe, I felt like my world had just started crumbling around me. Why was I so hurt? Why did I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest? I “hated him”. Reality hit me, square in the damn face.

He was only 38 years old, so young. Still had so much to live for. He was going to miss out on his first grand kids. He was going to miss out on seeing me and my sister happy. My emotions were all mixed together. I was angry at myself the most for not doing something before it was to late.

The last thing I got to say to my deddy was that “I couldn’t stand him and I never wanted to speak to him again”. It’s something I will regret the rest of my life. Little did I know he was fighting a battle much stronger than pain killers, heroin had done took over his life and all he wanted was to know that he had something worth fighting for. And I never got the chance to tell him he did!

I was 19 years old, my dad never remarried after divorcing my mom so everything was left up to me. Decisions, funeral costs. Everything. I couldn’t hardly catch my breath how on earth would I plan a funeral? I decided that the last thing I could do for my deddy would be strong for my sister. Everyone was telling me how strong I was and how proud they was of me. But little did they know in my mind I was dying, gasping for air. I was drowning in Regret, sorrow and grief. We buried him on December 13th 2012. The 2nd worst day of my life.

The day I went back to class, the teacher asked me before class if I’d like to share what I had experienced the last two weeks. And I decided that is exactly what I wanted to do. I went in sat down, Mrs.Shirley (teacher) said “okay we’re are going to start with lanie today. She has something she wants to share with you all.” This is the moment I realized exactly why I was put in that class full of addicts. Full of people that had chosen drugs over their children many times.

I looked up trying my hardest to hold back tears, and said “I just had to bury my dad from a overdose.” The looks on their faces are still stuck in my mind! I said ” I know what y’all are thinking. Why am I so upset after everything I’ve said about him in this class. How much I hated him?”. “Truth is I loved him, I loved him so much!” The room was silent. I went into say ” This is why I’m in this class with you all, God put me here so that you could see the hurt your putting your own children through. He put me here to save your life.” “He also put me here to see the ugly side of addiction, the side people are blind to. Your side of the battle” At this point the tears were pouring down my face, I was hysterical. I went on to say ” THIS IS WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO TO YOUR CHILDREN! If you keep on choosing that drug, your next high might be your last. Your kids may resent you now. You may think they could careless but I promise you THEY WILL HURT!” By now everyone has tears running down their face.

One man walked over to me (he was a heroin addict) he put his arm around me and said “your daddy loved you too, just the same as I love my children. Thank you for being strong enough to give me the wake up call I needed” One lady that had been using crack for over 20 years looked at me and said “she felt my heart breaking to pieces just in my voice, out of all the treatments and rehabs she had never truly been moved or reached to like I had her that day” I know this lady and have spoke to her regularly since 2012 and she’s has been clean since graduating the class. She has her life back, her kids, grand kids and living the life she missed out on for all those years. THAT IS A MIRACLE IN ITS SELF! If my story only helps one person at least that’s one persons life I helped get back!! And I believe that is amazing.

A few months went by, I had learned more about addiction than I could ever imagine. The day I graduated Mrs.Shirley told me “God knew what he was doing sending me to her class. She had learned more from me than any amount of years in school or number of addiction classes she taught in 15 years”

I wish everyone that feels addiction is a excuse could just take the time to learn, open their hearts and see that no one wakes up one day and says “You know what I think I’ll become a addict today”. The mind is a powerful weapon.

This is not a post to condone addicts. By no means am I trying to give excuses or sugar coat the fact that they have a problem. You can’t help anyone that doesn’t want help. They made a choice, but the mistake they made has turned into a lifestyle that the devil has taken over. We all make mistakes, we all sin in different ways.

I beg you all to show empathy to those fighting addiction and ones fighting to keep their love ones alive. It’s a tough road. It’s a battle I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hate heroin, I hate drugs. I Pray that one day the epidemic will Diminish.

I just felt it was the right time to share my experience and my story. I’ve cried till I could barely type, writing this. For those that have wanted to make ignorant statements regarding addiction I hope this changes yall perspective.

•Maybe this post can reach someone needing to know they are not alone or reach a child of addiction that doesn’t realize tomorrow isn’t promised And all that resentment and anger will only lead to regret when it’s too late. I wouldn’t wish the pain of regret that I live with everyday on anyone.

#addictionisreal #gethelp #addiction #heroin #saynotodrugs #bekind #fighttheaddiction #substanceabuse #substanceabuseawareness

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resilientreader · 5 years

Note

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

#asks #resilientspeaker #trying to put this under read more #but either tumblr doesnt let asks to do that or its not showing me anything #either way if this Does show to b a long post sorry ab that

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