#i think watcher two did because she wants so badly to believe that even though watcher x Went Wrong he's still the Watcher she admired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kitkatt0430 · 1 year

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☔ and 🌪?

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Okay, so back when I was really into the show Bones, I was very much not pleased with how the Gormagon plot ended. Zach didn't make any sense as the apprentice, but I do know the plot was impacted heavily by the writer's strike so it was what it was. But I had an idea for a xOver with Buffy the Vampire Slayer as a fix fic that would pick up where the third season of Bones ended and was post series for BtVS.

When Zach is arrested, the new Watchers Council sends Andrew to investigate because Gormagon wasn't just a regular serial killer. He was a warlock too and so his apprentice must have been as well. Except Andrew quickly realizes three things. 1.) Zach isn't a warlock and in fact doesn't even know magic is real. 2.) Zach does, however, reek of dark magic and from what Andrew can tell it's likely affected his memories, indicating that while Zach thinks he's the apprentice... he isn't. And 3.) the magic on Zach is very, very familiar to Andrew. Because that magic is his brother's.

With Andrew realizing that the real apprentice of Gormagon is Tucker, he suspects that the Gormagon may not have actually been a warlock after all - it was all Tucker using a non-magical serial killer to hide something worse going on and using Zach as an unwitting spy. Willow is less certain, but she acknowledges that Andrew knows his brother better. Willow and Kennedy arrange to have Zach released and Willow works with Zach to restore his real memories - confirming that Tucker is the real apprentice.

Meanwhile, Bones' team and Agent Booth are read into magic being real as part of a team up with the Watcher's Council to capture Tucker. They're skeptical at first, but eventually convinced. Takes more to convince Brennan than the rest and Angela actually already knew (to no one's surprise) but they all come around. They're relieved to find out that Zach isn't actually a serial killer's apprentice, but it's unnerving to find out what magic did make him do and believe he did.

Since Andrew can identify Tucker's magic the best, he's the one in charge of reversing the effects of Tucker's magic on Zach. The two wind up getting pretty close and eventually there'd have been a Zach/Andrew ship going on.

Willow and Kennedy would have been on point tracking down Tucker, reinvestigating the various Gormagon crimes. Tucker became the man's apprentice around the same time he started messing with Zach's mind. Tucker likely sought Zach out in order to use him to keep an eye on the investigation. He wanted to use Zach for more, but Zach fought back because he wouldn't hurt anyone and especially wouldn't kill anyone. Which is why he ended up hurting himself instead.

Tucker would have started killing again after Zach was cleared and eventually there'd have been a confrontation where he'd attempt to use Zach against Andrew and it winds up backfiring on Tucker quite badly. He's either caught and stripped of his powers (or has his powers locked or something like that) by Willow... or his magic backfires on him to the point where it kills him.

I actually do have a few scenes of this written somewhere, but I stopped being interested in Bones after a while. I think if I were to ever rekindle my interest in the show I'd revisit this plot, though. I like the idea of Andrew confronting his brother and seeing in Tucker where the road Andrew was on with Warren and Johnathan (and briefly the First) might have led him if he hadn't decided to take the opportunity the Scoobies offered him and become a better person. And Zach deserved a much better outcome than he received.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

It takes nine months before the coma finally comes to an end. Eobard is sure there's a metaphor to be found in there about rebirth and rising in the face of adversity, but he sees it more like those video game characters who sleep in at the start of the game and then are rarely allowed to stay at an Inn by the player for the rest of the game. Barry's going to be having a hard time sleeping this next year because Eobard's going to be putting him through a carefully collated 'boss rush' over the course of the next year.

... was he using that term correctly? Barry might not sleep well over the course of the next year, but he'd still be allowed to rest and recover between meta fights, so maybe it wasn't...

Eobard was clearly spending far too much time with Cisco Ramon. He didn't used to know anything about video games and now he knows that a boss rush dungeon is a thing. What is he doing with his life?

From Timeless Nonsense a fic I will eventually polish up enough to finally start posting. The whole thing is basically a crack fic where Barry wakes up from his coma well aware who Eobard really is and actually trying to help Eobard out... because Barry realizes that what Eobard wants isn't really what he needs. And with the future of the Speed Force at stake - the far, far, far, far future, admittedly - Barry needs Eobard on his side. Whatever it takes.

It'll be Eobarry - which fits with the crack theme - and the fact that their relationship is somewhat unhealthy (understatement, I know) for Barry is part of what pushes Eobard to actually try to improve himself. So it's a silly crack story... but also crack taken seriously? Admittedly, I haven't gotten far because I'm more interested in my Eobard vs Eobard series. Herobard is more compelling to me than redeeming Eowells right now.

#kitkatt0430 answers #upcoming projects game

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jennycalendar · 3 years

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Oh your “Jenny being alive would make Giles WORSE in season 6” sounds Fascinating please expand!! (If you would like)

took me a hot minute but thank you VERY kindly for enabling me <3

so as y'all know, the point i always hammer home on dreadfulcalendarwoman dot tumblr dot com is that giles's character arc starts and ends with jenny. like she is the turning point for him in EVERY way wrt the way he chooses to interact with the world, despite her never being top priority in his life. i actually think it is so deeply interesting that buffy's unwavering love for giles is not enough to pull him out of his determined isolation, simply because she is The Slayer and she's Fated To Die and while she's come to terms on some level with her death, giles doesn't ever completely seem able to come to terms with the concept of losing her. so it's actually not gonna ever be buffy who can spur giles towards growth, partly because of that and partly because of the fact that she cuts him SOOOOO much slack. like that's her dad! she wants him to take care of her! she will forgive SO much of him.

jenny does not do that with giles. jenny draws lines and sticks to them to the best of her abilities and we have seen in canon how badly giles deals with those lines -- like in ted, where she essentially says "you being around me is bad for my recovery right now" and he behaves like she killed his dog or something. but the thing is that he still does register and respect that she's got boundaries, and he does try in his own way (hindered as he is by what some might call an unhealthy obsession with jenny) to adhere to the rules she sets down. there is also a very clear problem here in that jenny is super fucking inconsistent and what she allows giles is completely changeable and arbitrary up until the dark age -- like she is deliberately yanking him around because she wants to see how complete her control over him is, and still doesn't totally believe that it's absolute. and then of course GILES thinks that jenny KNOWS she has absolute control over him and is deliberately USING it, which i think definitely contributes to the resentment and anger of the angelus mess. but that's just canon.

ANYWAY i wanted to talk about that because i think it sets the stage REALLY NICELY for giles and jenny's dynamic in a canon where she lives! jenny represents this sense of normalcy and stability in giles's life -- in a lot of ways, his obsession with her is centered around this idea of her as his future wife and long-term life partner, which is something he never thought he would get to have or even WANT to have with anybody. canonically, in season three, the loss of jenny causes giles to double down real hard in his role as a watcher -- reflected in his suddenly incredibly rigid and starchy wardrobe, but also in the way he's no longer pursuing connections outside the scooby gang at all. losing jenny in canon makes it clear to him that he has nothing but being a watcher, and that he will fail at that as well if he allows himself to love someone the way he loved her (see: acathla). and loving jenny brought giles such profound joy that i don't think he ever wants to really handle the concept of never having that again, so of course he throws himself into watcher stuff instead of confronting that.

but in a canon where jenny lives (even in a canon where they spend the third season continuing to be a fucked up mess, which i think is realistic -- it's gonna take time for them to build something healthy after all the we-are-never-ever-getting-back-togethers of season two), giles no longer has that reason to double down as a watcher! instead he has this enduring and consistent possibility that he is allowed to love somebody without it blowing up in his face, and i think that that would genuinely help him so much. he wouldn't need to adhere so rigidly to Watchery Standards, he wouldn't WANT to do the cruciamentum if it ran the risk of hurting buffy -- he would start letting go of this pessimistic, cynical view of the world and the fact that buffy's doomed to die, and work instead on cultivating a home and a surrogate family with jenny. like at his core giles is a homemaker and he longs for community and family and a sense of belonging, just like the rest of the scoobies! he canonically likes being cast as the patriarch but labels himself as an "uncle" because it still gives him an out. i don't think he'd want to wriggle out of familial attachment if this was a world where he never had to experience losing jenny.

THING IS THOUGH, this is still a world where he loses BUFFY. and while canon giles cultivated this very deliberate distance between himself and buffy in an attempt to prepare for the eventuality of her death, this version of giles is one who has started to genuinely view buffy as a daughter and support her in that way as well. there's no emotional distance that he can fall back on to support himself through his grief. he has lost his daughter. in so many ways that is worlds worse than losing jenny before he ever got the chance to really love her, and i think it would have the potential to wreck him on a level that rivals canon.

so season six giles would be handling his grief in the same way that canon giles did -- he's throwing himself into a role that distances himself from the trauma of losing somebody he loves. this time he is ACTIVELY trying to distance himself from buffy -- not "for her own good," but because he just refuses to handle his grief, and even her coming back wouldn't shake his sudden understanding of the fact that she could die just as horribly and permanently again. and so in THIS version of season six he is very aggressively defining himself as Jenny's Husband and trying to push jenny towards having their own biological children and absolutely ignoring the fact that because of his insistent refusal to acknowledge his loss, his marriage is falling apart. he no longer wants to view himself as a watcher or as connected to buffy in any way, because he never ever wants to lose her like that again. that's his daughter. he cannot love her anymore because losing her destroyed him and he can't go through it a second time.

and jenny is just having A Time because she is a smart cookie! she sees why this is happening and she wants to be able to help giles through it! but she literally can't help giles when he is refusing to admit that there's even a problem. and poor buffy who is still dealing with the trauma of being ripped out of heaven also has to deal with and in some ways cater to giles, whose grief prevents him from being there for her in the way that she was genuinely expecting from him. like i think this is a canon where buffy and giles's relationship could have been at the place for her to tell him the truth, but then she comes back and he is a fucking mess and she does the whole depressed repression thing and tries to take care of him. Which Does Not Go Over Well With Jenny.

i'm not sure how this gets solved. i actually wrote a chapter of this a billion years ago wherein jenny and buffy and spike and dawn start forming this weird and incredibly sad family unit after giles leaves for england, and jenny and buffy kinda mutually struggle with this idea of a mother/daughter relationship after years of weirdness between them. i think that the onus would really be on giles to pull himself out of it, because he would have effectively burned his bridges with his wife HARDCORE by that point -- but it would still be a version of giles who had three more years of emotional stability than in canon. there's always a chance.

#asks #restlesshush #meta #headcanon #long post #(a little flfksdh)#rupert giles #jenny calendar #giles and jenny and buffy #ANYWAY this is my ''canon can be worse sometimes'' agenda #i think giles letting himself be buffy's dad and then having her die would fuck him up SO supremely.#and i think giles WOULD let himself be buffy's dad in a world where jenny lived #because jenny allows him to be emotionally vulnerable and encourages him to connect with others #(which is a much shorter version of this post lmaooooo)

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dangermousie · 3 years

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2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island, Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

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redcat921 · 3 years

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Watch. Soul. Twice.

God, I haven't text posted in AGES but I think breaking down twice in a row for this pixar movie just hits so much BETTER. This movie will be on my mind for ages just because of how memorable it is.

EXTREME SPOILERS AHEAD!! Though, if you want to follow my lead, I'll tl;dr.

Watch the movie from Joe Gardener's perspective first. After, watch the movie from 22's perspective.

So, first off, I'll start with this. My own experience of watching this movie which was... absolutely amazing!! You're thrown into the middle school band class, and you immediately connect with Joe's music passion. Then, of course, crushed by the responsibility of having a job as a teacher. Even though his mother sees it as good, he still doesn't. And when he gets the chance of the lifetime to play with one of his jazz icons, Dorothea Williams, you feel as if he's finally getting what he's always wanted. Then he dies. You understand why he wants to get back to his life and his convictions, so you're rooting for him.

Obviously, this is Joe's story first and foremost. Which is why you're watching from his perspective, why you're watching him dream his dreams. Everything, from that first moment forward, is his perspective.

Okay, okay, that doesn't explain why I'm so heavy on watching Joe's perspective first, but I feel like any reader here will get it? As a movie goer, you want Joe to succeed in his dreams yet he's also beginning to care (platonically) about 22. Movie continues, and you see how much 22 is growing as a person, but you're still driven to let Joe back into his body to fulfill his dream. Then, when it hits that 22 found her spark and Joe snaps at her, his drive to become a jazz musician is only fueled. Of course, it's uncomfortable to watch how awkward 22 was in his body, but he's "just about to start living."

The best part? This one performance he felt his entire life built up to? It's... not everything he chalked it up to be. Then, that conversation with Dorothea hits. Joe wants the ocean even though he's already in it. And he only realizes it when he's home alone, playing the piano watching 22's memories in his body flash by.

This is why Joe's perspective hits. This moment, his Epiphany (according to the tracklist), is the trademark Pixar cry moment. All the memories of his life, the ones he didn't think of as important, are the ones he sees before accepting "death." This whole sequence just hits so well, as he realizes how small he truly is yet how meaningful his life was to those in it. Even more so because 22 deserves to live, maybe better than he ever could.

Now, I see this "climax" of the film (where 22 becomes a lost soul then is saved by Joe) as great, but most see it as unnecessary and a little immature in comparison to the rest of the movie. And this isn't the pixar cry moment every watcher probably had five minutes ago during Epiphany. This scene is probably the reason why I'm saying to watch it twice, but I'll get to it later.

End of Joe's story where he gets a second chance. (Yes, it's vague but that's because the literal point of the movie was that there wasn't a set purpose or meaning to his life. Hot take.)

Now, what you probably came for. Why you watch it twice. Well. That's simple enough, actually watch 22 this time. She's still a main character even from her first appearance past the title card, so she does deserve to be treated as such.

From 22's perspective, this Joe Gardner's life is the definition of dismal. Bleak. So much dreariness in life it could be draining... Yet, Joe wants to go back. To Earth which seems like the worst place ever. From her comments about how, "You can't crush a soul here. That's what life on Earth is for." AND "I've been trying for forever to find my spark.", you see her plight. Along with the fact you've seen how deeply this affects her in your first watch through, her movements matter a lot more.

I think the moment that stood out to me is 22's interest in Joe Gardner's life when Moonwind takes them to the "thin spot." It's a blink and you'll miss it moment for sure. But, for a split second, she looks at Joe while he's meditating and imagining his home. I can't help but imagine her interest in life despite all the things she's been told by the many mentors she's had. Then, you get to see her perspective about life on Earth.

From the awkwardness from standing still on the sidewalk in NYC to experiencing pizza for the first time, this is a true step outside 22's comfort zone. And she LOVES it. You get to experience how she found her spark in the littlest things that end up on Joe's piano during that first Pixar cry moment. You see when she talks to Dez, Joe's barber, and how she half reveals that she's scared of finding the wrong "spark" or "getting someone else's." You see her joy in playing with the window, taking the Take One van flyers, even laying on the grate pretending to fly. And you see how impactful Joe's relationship with his mother is too. Interesting that Joe's voice comes out during that conversation, which I noticed on my first watch, but really hit the second time. 22 has found out how meaningful human relationships can be.

Wow. The helicopter seed moment. Watching humans experience life and have relationships with each other is her spark. And that hits. Maybe enough to cry, maybe not. But 22 doesn't know about her spark, but you understand how desperate she is to live.

Then, of course, she gets put back into the Great Before, and Joe snaps at her. This hurts. You know how badly Joe wanted his own dreams, and he claims that your own life is only because he made it so. And... For that moment, she believes he's right. So she gives him the life he's been begging for and comes to the crushing conclusion that she doesn't have a purpose. She doesn't have that spark everyone else typically has. And, if that isn't relatable nowadays for those with mental health issues.

Yeah, it takes the wind out of the Epiphany moment, to watch from 22's perspective. But when you get to that moment where 22 wonders why she doesn't have a purpose in that white space, that broke me. The sand vortex in her lost soul did too, but that moment of being told that there is no being good at life, that evry soul is simply living, that no purpose could ever replace the relationships that she could build just like Joe had... "You're pretty great at jazzing." That's the second trademark Pixar cry moment.

For both of these watches, it makes the last moment when Joe holds 22's hand as they fall to Earth work. That's the lynchpin of this whole movie. This makes me cry too, but if you're too tuckered out from the other two, you're alright in my book. Both perspectives just allow this moment to be... That this mentorship mattered for both of their lives as they move forward.

Honestly, rewatch this movie 5000 times. This movie HITS all the right notes (forgive the pun) in their respective storylines.

I might watch it a third time after talking about it at length. To allow both stories to hit me. But, I hope you had fun reading my emotional journey while watching this film twice. (Yes, I did cry like a baby multiple times. I nearly cried writing this. Let me LIVE.)

Tl;dr Watch Pixar's Soul twice to get both perspectives from both Joe Gardner's perspective and 22's, so you understand the story in full. Thanks for reading!

#long post #soul #pixar soul #disney soul #pixar #disney #soul spoilers #tw flashing images for the movie #tw panic attack for the movie too #me? emotionally projecting onto a movie twice? absolutely.#just watch this movie!!!#its worth it!!!#yea its vague but do i care??? no #the specific shit i care about are the people in it #and both main characters get that.#lmao hi if you read this far #if you want more takes my ask box is open

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #360

“we are the ones that wanna play / always wanna go, but you never wanna stay”

"Crawling" or "In The End?" I want to say "Crawling," but I really can't be sure. Both are bomb. Is your window open? No. Monsters Inc. or Shrek? Shrek, my man. What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? Jason's mom died. What is the longest shower or bath you have ever taken? I remember as kids, Nicole and I would sometimes play 'til Mom made us finish because the water was cold by then. As an adult, idk about my longest shower. Do you have a preference of chocolate? Yeah, milk chocolate. Is there anyone you’d like to hug right now? Yeah. Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Definitely not. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Do you shut off the computer when you’re done using it? No, I just close it. Do you usually catch a cold during the winter? No. I just about never get sick. Are you a good multi-tasker? NOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know any deaf people? If so, is it easy or difficult to have conversations with them? No. Is there a door knocker on your front door? No. Were you ever into Pokémon? Bitch I still am. Do you drink a lot of water? Sigh, no. I'm definitely better than I used to be, though; once upon a time, I literally never drank it unless I was extremely hot and dehydrated. Nowadays, it's usually after I finish my soda for the day that I then only drink water, normally around one full tall cup of it. Do you like fireworks? They're beautiful, but I'm personally against them out of respect for veterans suffering from PTSD as well as animals, because I'm not exactly interested in traumatizing them, either. Is respect given or earned with you? It's given, the way I think it should be. Are you “in the closet” about anything? No. Are you missing any teeth? No. Do you like scrapbooking? I've never gotten into it and am not really interested in doing so. What was or will be your first tattoo? It's a semicolon butterfly on my right wrist. Sometimes I've thought about getting it covered with a cooler design but the same concept; it was literally from Google, and I'm very much not into "sharing" tattoo designs with probably thousands of other people. But, I still think it really is cute, and it's just very special to me as my first, so idk. Do you have any tattoos dedicated to someone special? I have one written in Sara's handwriting inside a heart, and my "ohana" tattoo that I am 100% getting covered was dedicated to my former best friend Colleen. I've talked before about why "ohana" has never really resonated with me, and I just don't like it anymore at all. Thank God it's small. Do you like ghost stories? Oh HELL yeah, lay 'em on me. What was your favorite movie as a kid? The Lion King. Some things never change, ha. Do you own a lot of cookbooks? Mom has looooots, but never uses any. I think her mom gave them to her, so she just keeps 'em. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks like every other man's handwriting I've ever seen lol. All the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. I have to with it naturally being so oily. What does your shampoo smell like? Coconut. Do you listen to Guns N' Roses? Not a lot, but yeah. They've got some bangers. I actually want "Sweet Child O' Mine" to be the father/daughter dance at my wedding. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yeah, at my sister's wedding. What was the last video game that you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 a long time ago. Have you ever hyperventilated? Yep. Do you talk in your sleep? I scream in my sleep. Nightmares/terrors are a blast. Whose house did you last sleep over? Sara's. Have you ever been cut by scissors? No. Do you like peaches? It's odd, I like canned sliced peaches, but the actual, full fruit, I don't. I love peach flavored juice, though. Do you enjoy being surrounded by neighbors, or would you be more comfortable someplace secluded? Take me back to the middle of nowhere, please. I'm really not digging being in an actual neighborhood. Is there any sibling rivalry between you and your siblings, if you have any? Not at all. Do you usually root for the good guys or the bad guys? Ha, the baddies... Are you allowed to have pets at your house? We're allowed to have what we currently own and then maybe one dog if Mom finally finds one. Have you ever lived in a trailer park? No. Is there anyone that you know through the internet that you would feel comfortable meeting in person? There's quite a few, actually! Have you ever had a dream involving characters from a game/movie/television show? Yeah. What’s the last thing you wrote down? My signature, I think? Do you remember any phone numbers from years ago that now belong to someone you don’t know? No. Have you ever found something strange in your mailbox? No. Who was the last relative that came to visit you? My half-sister and her husband. Does your bedding all match? Not currently. Are you more comfortable with having short hair or long hair? SHORT. Are you interested in fantasy movies/shows? That's my preference. Have you ever gone whale-watching? No, but that'd be dope. What is something that you have a large amount of? Meerkat plushies. Who is it that you’re in love with? Nobody. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? No. Do you have a steady income? No. Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Both. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No, I wish. :( Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. I don't eat it with water. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Idk. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? Noooo, I'm completely disinterested in doing that myself. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? I don't go. Even as a kid when Mom made me, I hated it. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? N/A What do you do for exercise? I don't. .-. I want a pool SO badly to swim and strengthen my legs without having to worry about sweating or collapsing, though. Mom says we don't have space, but we definitely do. Not a lot, but enough. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Yeah, it's just a bit darker than the rest of my skin. Do you need to lose weight? Yes. My sister, Mom, and I very recently started a Weight Watchers subscription and we're all working our asses off to stick to it. Ash has already lost like, 12 pounds (she started before Mom and me), so I'm kinda hopeful. Have you ever had a cat? Growing up, after we took in a stray female, we ended up with a fucking empire of cats, literally around three dozen, I'd say. They were all outdoors, too, and not fixed because we couldn't afford it, so tomcats would come around and, y'know, make matters worse. Eventually, animal control took them all and I was DEVASTATED, but looking back, I understand it was necessary. Anyway, I have one cat now. Indoors and fixed and the prince of my world, haha. Have you ever had a dog? We've had a few. I was born with my dad having a collie named Trigger, but I don't remember her at all; she died of old age I believe when I was very young. Then we briefly had a pup named Angel, but she died due to that disease some puppies just have. We didn't get another dog until Teddy, who was my Christmas present, and he was put to sleep only last year, rest my baby's soul. We also had Dale, Cali, Delilah, and Bentley. Have you ever any other kind of animal? A LOT. I'm probably going to forget some, but we've had hamsters, rats, snakes, fish, a turtle, two lizards, gerbils, guinea pigs... just a lot. Animals have always been very important in my life. Have you ever had a pet rock? HA, yeah. I didn't take it seriously at all, but I had one. When was the last time you painted something? Not since my Painting course in my final college attempt. Do you have any disabilities? Not in the traditional sense, no. My social anxiety though is at such a severity that it majorly infringes upon my ability to do a LOT of things, though. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? I couldn't name five. Just Hot Topic and Spencer's, really. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN. The actual dream situation would be to get married in the snow in a black dress, like can you IMAGINE the pictures, but realistically, it'd be in the fall to avoid the biting cold. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah. Anything special planned for today? Nope. Blue or green? Blue. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? He's two years older than me. Do you still care for that person? Very much. Can you completely annihilate the first Mario game in less than an hour? I haven't even played the first game. I've never really been into the games to begin with. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes! I was OOOOOBSESSEEEEEED as a kid. I would usually play it after school when my mom was an assistant teacher and was finishing up her work for the day. Have you ever contemplated climbing a water tower? Uh, no. Those kind of people got some wanderlust levels that I ain't got, haha. If you have a Facebook, when was the last time you changed your profile picture? It's been a few months. Would you ever marry someone who was lower class? Um, yes? You can deny it all you want, but answering "no" is pretty much the same as saying you'd marry for money. Is there a guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? ugh Which do you prefer: English or math? English, by light years. Who is a singer that has given you chills? David Draiman's voice in the Disturbed cover of "Sound of Silence" is fucking haunting. Greatest cover of all time. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did when Sharon was a judge. Do you think you could win America’s Got Talent? Hell no. What act would you perform in a talent show? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Have you ever practiced yoga? Yes. I used to be BANGIN at it. What is your favorite thing to buy at the Farmer’s Market? Fruit! Do you get carsickness? No. What color is the rim of your full-length mirror? Black. What is your state’s bird (if you live in the US)? Cardinal. Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? I'm a sucker for ballgown dresses. Do you enjoy editing videos? I used to love it, for many many years. Now, I just don't have the dedication or motivation to. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes. If you gave birth, do you think you would want it filmed? Um, absolutely not. I would have NO desire to look back on me shrieking my lungs out and essentially dying. I handle abdominal pain very poorly, so I've got a goooood feeling that if I actually wanted to have kids, I'd be that woman screeching like a banshee.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''aerials'' by system of a down

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melonsmessymusings · 4 years

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Potential Post S2 Fic...

Right so my current WIP seems to be going alright, but someone asked is there’s going to be a sequel and I honestly hadn’t even considered it... until 4am the other day. Since then, I’ve written a 5,000 word outline of what the plot would be, with every twist and turn and everything in alarming detail.

Basically it’d be a Post-Becoming ‘What we did on our summer holiday’ type thing focused around recovery for each of the gang except Buffy, because she’s not fuckin there, and I’ve got some really interesting ideas that are getting steadily weirder.

It won’t be happy, it’s going to mess everyone up because I really want to write a story focusing on how they all coped after the whole Acathla and Angelus thing. Because let’s be honest, everyone was a mess and obviously they would be and I don't think it was properly addressed in canon. Now I’m by no means suggesting that what could be created will be any good, and it might be way off base but now that I’ve got the idea in my head, it won’t fucking leave. Let me give a brief overview of what the plan is in my head:

A massive angst fest with copious whump, guilt, and torment and all that jazz. I want the gang breaking down every thirty seconds because they don’t know what to do.

I want the Police launching a full scale investigation as to what the ever loving fuck happened that night. I want them starting a manhunt for Buffy, keeping tabs on all the Scoobies and just generally doing their fuckin jobs for once.

I want Willow blaming herself for Buffy running away because if she’d been able to do the spell the first time then maybe it wouldn’t have happened. I want her actually recovering from nearly dying and turning into a mother hen about the others. I want her making the guys take their meds, I want her planning things to do to make the idea of doing physio fun because if she focuses on how badly everyone is hurting then she'd literally become catatonic.

I want Xander utterly helpless as his friends struggle to heal from it all and falling into a manic depression. I want him turning that uselessness into learning to cook so he can make dinner for everyone. I want him doing night shifts at people’s houses to make sure they’re not alone, I want him trying to be the glue that holds everyone together through the tough times.

I want Giles to be going physically insane with finding Buffy while literally falling apart. I want him to be forced to accept what happened to him and I want him to actually look like he was fucking brutally tortured for like twelve hours by a one of the most evil vampires to plague the earth, because he was. I want him utterly unable to cope with it and being a complete state no matter what anyone does to try and help him. I want him to stay up all night trying to find Buffy and being prepared to do anything to get her back home safe even if he has to sell his soul to Satan. I want the guy to be a fuckin husk of the man he once was because his whole life fell apart in the space of like a month and a half and believe me, that shit breaks you.

Joyce needs to be a wreck, I want her to blame Giles for everything even though she knows it’s not his fault deep down. I want her to help Willow and Xander, and later Giles, in recovering and finding Buffy. I want her to understand the impact of her words and actions. I want to explore how she met that bitch Pat and how she dealt with Hank when he’d be all ‘I knew you couldn’t handle her’ and being a downright arsehole.

Giles teaching them how to patrol because there’s no fucking way he’s going to let them out without some training and preparation. He probably won’t let them out anyway but he knows he can’t stop them and he’s in no state to do anything himself.

I want the Watchers’ Council to get involved and run an investigation. I want them to be like ‘oh dear Rupert, it’s all gone terribly wrong’ because fucking Kendra died on top of this mess and now they need to find the next Slayer. Travers frothing at the mouth because everything seems to always go wrong on Giles’ watch and it’s not funny anymore.

Snyder being a nuisance because it’s funny and he’s convinced that these meddling kids are going to ruin his perfect structure and order.

There needs to be a hopeful ending not a happy one because that’s not how life works. I want them all to be hopeful that Buffy’s return will bring a sense of normalcy and balance back to their lives. They won’t ever recover from it, but eventually the pain becomes bearable and they can begin to move on.

Do you see why I want this? There’s so much potential to unpack there. I’ve been desperate to give my own interpretation of the between season events, but never had the balls to actually start it. Until now.

Is that something you'd be interested in reading? Because I may and or may not have started it and blasted 18K words out in two days... so it’s not something that won’t exist. If anyone has any ideas on stuff like the title or just wants to tell me to shut the fuck up and stop wasting people’s time, let me know.

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy summers #willow rosenberg #xander harris #rupert giles #fanfic #ao3 writer #honestly what the fuck is wrong with me #someone send help

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ofmoonbeams · 4 years

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introducing: moonbeam

pinterest.

BASICS.

full name: noemi elara calliso

nicknames (if any): emmy, no (at least that’s what her mother always says to her)

gender / pronouns: cis female / she, her

classification: human

abilities (if any): n/a

age: twenty-six

occupation: nursing assistant

PERSONALITY.

traits: selfish, insensitive, eager, determined, ambitious, adventurous, gregarious, unreliable

mbti: estp - the entrepreneur

zodiac: cancer sun, leo moon, gemini rising

AESTHETIC.

hopping fences, staying in the shadows, black coffee, skinned knees, moonlight reflecting off a lake, vanilla and vetiver candles, your throat being raw from screaming into the void, wind in your hair, the fresh sounds and smells of a place you’ve never been before, desperately trying to remember places you have.

HISTORY.

noemi was born to young human couple in district three, lucine and lee perrine. lee and lucine worked at the factory, but once lucine became pregnant with noemi, lee and her brother steven basically forced her to stop working, worrying that she would injure herself or lose the baby. so, she became a freelance tailor, repairing torn trousers or sewing buttons back on a coat. money was tight already when it was just the two of them, but once noemi was born, it was impossible to survive off of their income alone.

so, lucine’s brother steven (who was known to dabble in the black market as it was), decided to go full force, scavenging the drylands and beyond for anything that was worth anything. practically all of the money earned from these endeavors went to raising noemi, and steven loved her as if she was his own daughter.

lee hated this, he already didn’t like steven mostly because his wife always defended him (he was her little brother, after all). but it also hurt his sense of pride - the breadwinner with no bread, he hated the fact that he couldn’t support his family.

this continued for a few years, and when noemi was two years old, the callistos were on the hunt for two perfectly human babies. why two? greed, maybe. maybe so that when they wanted alone time, their children could entertain each other. maybe they just liked even numbers. anyway, lee was at dinah’s on his night off, after he got into a fight with lucine about finances, her brother, etc. the callistos, on their hunt for babies, overheard him venting to his friends about his situation, and gave him and offer: for a modest amount of money, they would take noemi and raise her as their own. lee didn’t agree right away, he said he’d have to talk to his wife about it and they would consider it. as one can imagine, lucine shot him down immediately.

the callistos knew that their main source of income and the only thing keeping them afloat was steven’s dealings on the black market. so, they tipped off one of the watchers, and bribed him to make steven disappear.

lucine waited by the window for three days after he said he would be back, but finally she realized that he was dead, and they couldn’t feed noemi. lucine was so distraught that she laid in bed for days, crying and ignoring the pleas of her toddler. lee took noemi and went to dinah’s, where he handed her off to the callistos.

when noemi first arrived to her new home, she was confused. sure, she was pampered and fed beyond anything she had ever experienced, but she always asked where her mama was. trying to dispel the notion from her mind, the callistos always shot her down, telling her that they were her parents, and they loved her. and in their own way, at least at first, they did. they never harmed a hair on her head, they gave her anything she wanted that could be bought. but what she wanted most was her mother to tell her that she was proud of her.

noemi and saffira had the same tutors, did the same extracurriculars, and were always together. no matter how hard noemi tried, she just wasn’t as good as saffira at anything. she enjoyed piano, painting, learning languages (which she wasn’t half bad at), dancing. but slowly, her mother’s constant disappointment in her performance chipped away at her enjoyment of these hobbies, until she despised them all with a passion.

her and saffira debuted at the same time, but upon seeing that her mother paid absolutely no attention to her at all (indifference is worse than hatred, after all), noemi ran away to district two, where she stayed at dinah’s all night, watching and listening to people, even engaging in light conversation with them. it was magical to her, but on her way back home, she was accosted by a mutant, and it scared her so badly that she didn’t go back until a few years later.

noemi hated being bad at everything (or not being as good as saffira), and she was desperate to have something of her own. she begged her parents to let her get a job, and finally, through their connections with the hospital, they got her the position as a nursing assistant. now, noemi is not good at this, and her bedside manner is awful because she just asks questions that pop in her head and can be quite insensitive. but still, when you’re injured, a pretty young face can do wonders for morale.

her experiences at the hospital made her want more, and soon enough, she started sneaking out again to go to districts two and three (though it took some time to build up enough courage to go to district three).

as of now, she still lives with her parents and saffira, but their lives are fairly separate. she holds a lot of resentment to all members of her family, but she still craves their approval. mostly, she just wants something that’s her’s, and that can’t be tainted by her parents or stolen by saffira.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

the secret history: noemi’s entire life, she wonders who her true family is; of course, whenever she asks, her parents go on a long diatribe about how she was left alone, to starve and wallow in poverty, and how they saved her. but from what she remembers (which is very little, especially now that she is older), it was nothing like that at all. i think part of her doesn’t want to know what happened to her family, because she really doesn’t want her adoptive parents to be right. however, I do want her to eventually find out what happened to her family, whether they are dead or alive (could be interesting). perhaps someone recognizes her from when she’s little , or knew the family in some way? perhaps a childhood friend (who would have to be a bit older) sees her and something clicks?

radicalize me, baby: noemi has been going to district three more and more lately, and while her time is confined mainly to the boneyard and her visits with peter, she ventures out occasionally. she is incredibly curious about mutants, and wants to know more about them. i want someone to open her eyes to how awful it is to be a mutant, because all she sees is a different life than the one she has, which is incredibly restricting. it’s a bit “the grass is always greener on the other side” deal, and i want noemi to take her passion for mutants, and turn it into something more...destructive. she’ll be reluctant to at first, because her parents’ approval still (unfortunately) means a lot to her, but she’ll give it up eventually.

the parent she never had: noemi needs someone who believes in her, who sees her for her potential and her present. her mother is a master at chipping away her self esteem and making her want to do better to gain her approval at the same time. i want someone who could be a mother (or father) figure to noemi, who loves her (or will) unconditionally, because she deserves it. also someone to give it to her straight and try to make her more realistic and take care of herself, because the girl can be reckless.

teach me: this ties in to the wc above, but i want someone to teach noemi something she doesn’t know, or does know but is “bad” at. someone to really take the time to help her, and give her more confidence in her own capabilities. this could be anything from fighting to painting. i just want her to feel like she’s good at something (aside from sneaking around).

ex flames, ex friends, flames, friends, people at dinah’s she’s talked to before, someone who knows she’s from district one, someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t care. her found family.

HEADCANONS.

dinah’s is the first place noemi went to outside of district one, and the warmth and friendliness and the life she encountered there made her feel at home for the first time. it’s a very special place to her, and probably her favorite place in metropolis.

used to play “hide and seek” with her mother when her mother’s friends would come over, basically ensuring noemi was out of sight and silent. her mother would then come up and find her and tickle her and noemi loved the game because it was a special thing she had with her mother. then, one night she snuck downstairs and saw saffira was allowed to engage with her parents’ friends, and she was heartbroken. still, she wanted to play the game because it made her feel special, and she loved getting the attention from her mother (sad hours).

noemi wants more than anything to be a mutant. she has hope that her family were mutants, and that her powers are simply dormant. spoiler alert: she isn’t. she’s completely human. this will tear her apart, especially when she finds out saffira has abilities (much much later).

writes in a secret journal that she keeps under her mattress.

loves peter pan and would always play dress up with her sister where she was peter pan and saffira was wendy.

in general, her and saffira would dress up and play pretend and have little “adventures,” a memory noemi clings on to. she misses her sister, but years of (unfair) resentment towards her keep blurring that, and she could never admit it.

loves sour gummy worms.

got a tattoo out of rebellion, of course it’s a crescent moon on her hip. of course.

#2120intro

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jacquiesims · 4 years

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Viper Canyon - Chapter Four

“...Try not to think about the future. It is much too uncertain here. Think only of living in the moment, when you are young and Viper Canyon holds so much promise for you. Swear to me you’ll do just that, all right?”

January, 1852

The New Year had come to pass in Viper Canyon. Families privately enjoyed quiet celebrations from within their humble homesteads, warmly welcoming twelve more months of excitement and uncertainty. Each was sure to pray that The Watcher had good things in store for their simple little frontier town.

The Hawkins clan prayed a bit harder than most.

Papa had yet to find a vein of gold in the mines. The family had come with plenty of savings, but with the construction of a much-needed barn on their property on top of their costs of living over the past months, their safe was teetering toward the dangerous brink of being completely devoid of Simoleons.

They were surviving on next to nothing a day. The girls worked hard at home to tend to their meager garden and the animals they’d brought with them all the way from the east coast. What little they were able to harvest and collect was enough to survive on, but there was an uneasiness that pervaded the air around the house as each member of the Hawkins family worried about the indefinite future.

Mamma and Winnie were sipping on evening cups of coffee at the end of a long day, both waiting patiently for Beatrice to finish her chores while making sure to mind the stove that held Papa’s dinner warm inside.

“When I was in town today I spoke with Mr. Monroe. He was kind enough to let me know that he’s been needing someone to work the till at his store, what with this influx of miners that are staying nearby. Apparently the store is much too busy during the week for the two of them to handle, and he figured he would save the cost of posting an ad in the city paper by asking me if you would like to work there.”

“Me?” Winnie asked, quite surprised. “Why, I’ve never worked a till before. And surely I’m needed much more badly here than at the general store.”

“I should think not. The money would certainly help a great deal. You did so well at arithmetic in your schooling, I figured counting money and keeping track of inventory would be no problem for you. But I did let Mr. Monroe know I would have to speak with you about it first, to make sure you were up for it.”

Winnie smiled, trying to imagine life as a salesgirl. “Well…perhaps it would be nice, to have a job of my own. A bit exciting, even, getting to know all of the faces that come in and out of the store. But Papa wouldn’t be upset? I’m not sure if he’d be fond of the idea of me working a counter where miners were coming in and out all day.”

“I’ll have a talk with Papa when he gets home tonight. I’m sure he won’t have an issue with it, especially if you’re keen on the idea. I figured if you worked at the store and did well enough, Mr. Monroe would be happy to let your position pass to Bea once we get closer to your wedding.”

Hearing Mamma speak so casually about Winnie’s betrothal to Peter sent an electric shock through her chest.

It was easy to forget during her day to day life that she was in fact someone’s fiancée – she was so busy that when she found a spare minute in the day to rest she more often than not spent that time devouring one of her books she’d received for Winterfest. That way, the only time she had for her thoughts to wander was at night, and she was usually too tired to drift off on her familiar clouds of daydreams.

She found this was the best formula to avoid confronting the harsh truth that she was, in the coming year, to marry a man she harbored no sweet feelings toward. She swallowed the knot in her throat and faced her mother with an intense look in her eyes.

Mamma was taken aback. “What’s wrong? You’ve changed moods so suddenly.”

“How can I marry a man I don’t love, Mamma?” Speaking on the private doubts and fears that she had kept to herself for the past month made Winnie feel like she was on the verge of throwing up. “You told me to give it time, and I’ve been patient. But we have about as much in common as this desert and the green valleys back home! I…I wonder if I’ll be able to find happiness in our marriage. Mamma, it’s just eating me up inside, it truly is.”

A strange expression crossed Mamma’s face that Winnie had never seen before. Her entire body was burning with anxiety and worry that she’d said the wrong thing. Winnie had never once in her life been in her mother’s bad graces – Mamma herself even said that her eldest child came out smiling like a cherub – but now she thought she had finally managed to strike a sour chord.

“I suppose it’s only natural you feel that way,” Mamma sighed, after a great pause. “You have been pushed into the match a bit forcefully, after all.”

Winnie was afraid to speak. Her mouth felt strange and fuzzy from confessing her fears, but what Mamma told her was assuring nonetheless. It made Winnie feel as though maybe she wasn’t being so irrational after all.

“Why don’t I tell you a story? Come sit down with me and I’ll tell you about when I was just a little older than you are now.”

Winnie and Mamma made their way to the sofa and sat down together.

Mamma took a deep breath, watching as Winnie bunched up the skirt of her dress in her fists. She gently rested her hand atop her daughter’s with a tender look.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever told you this before, but I suppose now is the perfect opportunity. Back when I was a girl growing up, I lived with my father – your grandfather – on our farm. We lived in a beautiful little village surrounded by trees and green and life all around. I had a very charmed life, and I was very privileged. I was much like you and your sister were back when we lived back in the city.”

“My mother had passed away when I was young enough to have no memories of her. My father and I lived in our cottage on the outskirts of the village with nary a care in the world. I was endlessly spoiled and wanted for nothing. We were lucky enough to employ a woman who would cook and clean for us during the day so I was free to explore the forests and wade in the creeks and do as I pleased.

“At that age, our neighbors and friends considered me to be quite beautiful. I caught the eye of many young men and even maintained a beau or two merely because I could. My father was in no rush to marry me off and I entertained the idea that I would one day become an eccentric old spinster, living in our cottage for the rest of my days…I was quite naïve back then. In fact, I see a lot of my younger self in you, Winnie.”

“My father had always been strong and robust in my eyes, but losing my mother had taken its toll on him. Day by day, he grew a bit weaker, until he eventually fell ill just after my twentieth birthday. It was then my father informed me that when he passed away, the farm would go to his cousin, but through some circumstance when they were boys, their relationship had deteriorated. My father let me know that when my cousin inherited our farm he would, without a doubt, force me out of the place out of spite. I was heartbroken, but I hardly had time to think about the future because I was so busy helping with things around the farm and making sure my father had what he needed as his health crumbled more and more every day.”

“I began to realize that I had taken advantage of all of that time I so blindly wasted as a girl. I had spent all of my days frolicking out of doors when I should have been cherishing each moment I had left with my father.

“What I didn’t know, however, was that my father had only my future in mind. Without my knowing, he reached out to one of his old friends with whom he had kept a close correspondence with ever since their youth. This friend had seen all of his four sons married except the last, who had recently gone to Simdon in search of his fortune only to come back empty-handed.”

“I knew nothing of this until one day I came downstairs to find a stranger in the parlor. My father introduced me to him and let us talk in the back garden unchaperoned. The man was honest with me that he was penniless and had nothing to offer me but a simple life as a carpenter’s wife. I realized then that my father planned to save me from a cruel fate by marrying me off to a stranger – but how could I defy him and turn down this man I had never met when all my father wanted for me was a secure future?

“I decided to marry him, if only to please my father and ease some of his worries as he slowly grew worse and worse each day. After the banns had been posted we were married in the village church. My father used the last of his strength to walk me down the aisle and give me away to the son of his best friend.”

“Within the next few weeks, my father eventually succumbed to his illness and passed away. It…was the deepest sorrow I’d ever known. My father was all I had in the world and I was lost without him. I was certain then, in my grief, that I would never know happiness again. It is true that time can heal all wounds…but when it comes to losing a loved one, all time can do is make the grief a little less each day – but it will never truly make it go away completely. And why should it? Grief is only a reminder that you love someone deeply, despite them being gone.

“Fortunately, my new husband was respectful and kept his distance. He even packed away my things for me and arranged for us to move to Richmond, where he used the money my father had left us to open a shop where he sold his woodworking.”

“We made a good living, once I was out of mourning and able to gather the strength to carry out my duties as a wife. The business eventually did so well that we were able to sell it. There was never a dull moment with him - he was always going back and forth between new jobs, trying to grasp the smallest foothold with his fingertips to advance our place in society, no matter how slim the chances. We got to know each other through that hectic life, despite it all becoming the respected family we were in town. He admitted to me that he felt as though he’d been struck by Cupid’s arrow when I came down the stairs and into the parlor on the day we met…. Eventually, feelings of love began to form between us. And then, after a few years, The Watcher blessed us with you.”

“I found happiness with your father, despite the tragic means through which we came to know each other. I love your father deeply. He was by my side through a time in my life in which all I saw behind and ahead of me was a pitch black darkness. He waited until I was ready for us to truly become man and wife…and for that I will always cherish him and be faithful to him.”

Winnie watched her mother carefully with tears in her eyes. Hearing the tragic story of her mother’s youth had stirred the deepest parts of her soul.

“It is my most ardent hope that you will find that same true love and happiness with Peter. You say you have nothing in common, and I ask you to look at your own parents. We aren’t similar by any means, but I’ve come to see us as two sides of the same coin. Perhaps we may be vastly different at face value, but we share a core – not only as husband and wife, and the love we have for each other, but as mother and father to Bea and yourself.”

“I would never, and I mean never, have let your engagement to Peter take place if I didn’t see a bright and wonderful future together between you two. He’s a lovely young man, full of life and hope and I know he would make an excellent husband for any woman.”

“I trust you, Mamma. And I believe you.”

She finally smiled. It filled Winnie with a great sense of relief. “All I ask is that you get to know him with eyes unclouded. Try not to think about the future. It is much too uncertain here. Think only of living in the moment, when you are young and Viper Canyon holds so much promise for you. Swear to me you’ll do just that, all right?”

“I promise, Mamma.”

For a moment, they only looked at each other. Winnie found that she now saw her mother differently. Where she had seen a withdrawn, passive, and submissive woman the day before, she now saw a quiet inner strength and steel resolve that were invisible to the naked eye.

Mamma, however, felt as though she was looking through a mirror to the past. There was so much of herself in her daughter, but there was also something more faintly glimmering beneath the surface – a hint of the woman her daughter would one day grow to become.

“Now, that’s enough with all that. My mind’s on the wedding now and I’ve just realized I have yet to show you the linens I inherited from my own mother and grandmother as a girl. If you’re to have them when you marry Peter, it’s high time I took them out to show you. It took a great deal of convincing to get your father to sacrifice precious space in the wagon to bring them with us.”

Winnie felt herself cheer up a little. “I’d like that very much.”

“WHAT?!”

Mamma and Winnie turned around to see a horrified Beatrice standing in the doorway.

“Peter’s to marry Winnie?!”

“Oh – oh, Bea, I’m so sorry! We’ve been waiting to say anything – ” Winnie tried and failed to explain the situation to her sister before she began shrieking.

“Mamma! You simply cannot be serious! The only boy I’ve ever fancied and of course Winnie just has to come and snatch him away from me with her wicked claws!” Beatrice’s voice was shrill and climbed in octaves as she screamed, her eyes welling with tears. “I never get anything I want, ever! I’ll never be good enough for this family, will I? I’d be better off dead!”

“Beatrice Elizabeth Hawkins! How dare you say something so horrible!”

Mamma didn’t have the chance to scold Beatrice before the girl turned on her heel and ran off into the cold desert night.

“What are we to do?” Winnie asked her mother desperately. “I never wanted her to find out like this. I just knew she would be beside herself.”

She took a deep breath in and released it quickly. “If she wants to throw a tantrum and act like a child, then so be it. I doubt she’ll get very far on foot and with the way she’s acting I’d be hard pressed to want to follow her any time soon. If she hasn’t come back by the time Papa comes home we’ll head down the way to Elijah’s and round up the men to look for her.”

“Are you sure, Mamma? What if she gets lost? Or taken by the natives? I’ve heard terrible stories….”

“It won’t do you or her any good to worry. And I’m certain the natives won’t be tempted to steal away someone who can scream and cause a fuss such as Bea can.” Mamma quickly finished her cup of coffee and began to put everything on the table away with short, choppy movements. “I’m sure she’s just going to have a good cry where we can’t hear her and she’ll be back to apologize soon if she knows what’s good for her.”

Less than an hour later, Papa finally arrived home, but Beatrice was still nowhere to be seen.

Mamma and Winnie explained the situation to him – how they’d been discussing the wedding and Beatrice had overheard, causing her to run into the night – and he chewed his lip for a moment in thought.

“Well, there’s nothing to be done, then. Let me go down to Elijah’s so we can get a search party together.”

Elijah seemed a little annoyed with the whole situation but was more than willing to help the Hawkins get a group together to comb the desert in search of Beatrice.

Papa and Elijah rode back up the dirt road to the Hawkins homestead, coming slowly into view from the darkness. The adults talked between themselves in hushed tones before turning to Winnie.

“It’s best you stay here in case Bea comes home,” Papa explained from atop his horse. “I want someone at the house in case she does. Now, listen carefully. I’ve got a gun in the drawer of my bedside table and the bullets are in the top left drawer in the dresser. If Bea comes home, I give you permission to fire one shot into the air outside. That’ll let us know we can come back, all right?”

Winnie was terrified of guns and even more terrified of having one loaded in front of her sister when she was so upset, but nodded solemnly. “All right, Papa. Is there anything else I can do to help? I – I don’t know what to do, it just feels like this was all my fault…”

Elijah turned to Winnie. “It’s all right. We’ll get your sister back safe and sound. There’s no way she made it very far. And then you two can talk through whatever it is that made her so upset.”

After Elijah, Mamma, and Papa had gone to fetch Joseph Ebey up the road, Winnie was waiting patiently at the house when there was a quiet knock at the door.

She steeled herself to face her sister as she slowly approached the door, turning the knob with a shaky hand. Instead of Beatrice, however, there stood Peter, who was smiling from ear to ear per usual.

“Evening, Winnie. Your mother gave me permission to come over here and keep you company while everyone goes out to look for Bea. She’s cooking up some late night supper for the men with my mother back at our farm in the meantime.”

Winnie suddenly felt her stomach twist into knots. Now that she had agreed to see Peter in a different light, it made her anxious to be alone with her fiancé. She had yet to spend time unchaperoned with him since he’d proposed in the upstairs loft the month before.

“Oh. By all means, come inside. Would you like some tea or coffee? Or maybe some bread and preserves?”

Peter shook his head, still smiling. “I’m quite all right, thank you. I was thinking we could just talk instead. It’s rare when we get time alone, isn’t it? Your mother is pretty strict when it comes to chaperoning us.”

Winnie nodded, privately wishing her mother was quietly sitting in the corner armchair with her needlepoint like she usually was when Peter came to visit.

The two of them settled down at the dining table. Winnie felt Peter’s blue eyes on her face and she couldn’t keep the blush from rising in her cheeks as he scooted in closer, his face marred with concern.

“If you don’t mind my asking, why did Bea run off? Your father was in too much of a hurry to explain to us what had gotten her so upset.”

“She – well…” Winnie trailed off, thinking of hiding the truth before she realized that she had made a promise to her mother to start anew with Peter. “The truth is that she overheard my mother and I talking about the wedding. We hadn’t planned on telling her until we were closer to the day, but she found out in a terrible way and it hurt her feelings greatly. I suppose that’s because she’s still sweet on you.”

Peter’s shoulders instantly drooped. Before they could talk any more on the subject, the sound of voices outside drew their attention to the front windows.

Outside, the men of Viper Canyon had arrived on horseback while Verity and Mamma trailed close behind on foot.

Beatrice was gently lowered from Papa’s lap on the back of his horse to the ground. She was on her feet for no longer than a few seconds before he dismounted and swept his youngest child into his arms. Beatrice wrapped her arms around his neck like a little girl. It was clear for everyone to see that she was still crying miserably.

The men who had been roused out of bed to find Beatrice looked irritated yet simultaneously relieved. There was a great tipping of hats and quiet ‘farewell’s as the men who lived closer to Main Street departed on their horses and Joseph followed quickly behind.

“That didn’t take very long at all, thank The Watcher.” Peter observed.

Papa looked weary. “She wasn’t far. Just crying where she thought no one would find her. But she’ll be all right.”

Elijah looked back and forth between Peter and Winnie suspiciously. Cogs were turning in his mind, but not nearly quickly enough to put together the pieces of the hush-hush engagement that had taken place between the two of them.

“I’m just glad she’s home safe,” Elijah said decidedly. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I’m going to head back home.”

“Thank you for all your help tonight,” Papa said sincerely. “I don’t know what I’d do if…if something bad happened to one of my girls. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.”

“It was nothing. I’d be glad to do it again. Have a good night, Emmett. Peter and Winnie, take care.”

“I think I’ll walk back home, now that Bea’s back home safe. It was nice talking to you, Winnie, even if it wasn’t for very long. Hopefully we’ll have more time like that together before the wedding.”

Again, that familiar bolt of electricity shot through Winnie – this time, she instantly recognized it as raw panic. She found her eyes betraying her as they locked on Elijah’s, whose face was uncharacteristically shocked. His mouth moved back and forth for a moment as the pieces finally clicked into place in his mind.

“I, er…good night, then.”

Promptly, he was down the road on horseback, leaving Papa behind with Winnie and Peter.

“Good night, Peter,” Papa said shortly. “We’ll see you soon, I’m sure.”

“Of course. Good night, Mr. Hawkins. And good night, Winnie.”

Papa and Mamma wordlessly retreated to the back room, leaving Winnie to climb every excruciating step up the staircase into the loft. She’d always bitterly hated confrontation, ever since she was young, and now she was going to have an acrid mouthful of it from her own sister.

To Winnie’s surprise, however, she found that Beatrice was already sound asleep in bed. Even though she knew their conversation about what had taken place wouldn’t come in that instant, it did little to ease the nervousness bubbling in her belly.

As quietly as she could, Winnie changed into her nightgown and plaited her hair, climbing into her bed mere feet away from Beatrice’s.

Beatrice’s back was turned to Winnie and the room felt unnaturally cold. They had always slept facing each other, ever since they were small – they had both grown up afraid of the dark.

“Bea?” Winnie whispered softly. “Bea, just know…that I’m sorry. And I love you. Sweet dreams.”

In her bed, Beatrice sniffed softly.

To Be Continued

Previous Chapter | Viper Canyon Index | Chapter Five

(I finally finished it! I hope it was worth the wait, I felt like this chapter was one of the better ones I’ve done :) Hopefully there was enough drama and suspense to keep everyone happy until CH5 comes.

I haven’t figured out what I want to happen between this and the little baby timeskip that happens, so I ask you to please be patient! This story is going to be pretty long and I’m trying to iron out the kinks in the plot before it’s too late. And I’m already thinking about a sequel

Anyway, as always, let me know what you thought! I’d love to know where you think the story is going, things you’d like to see, favorite characters, etc. it just makes me happy to know others love this story because I’ve put a lot of time into it! See you in Chapter 5!!)

#ts2 #sims 2 #ts2 story #viper canyon #viper canyon: chapter four #viper canyon story

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maddiicake · 4 years

Text

Dear (people listed below)

@miss-mary-grace

You pretended to be my friend just so that you could “sleep your way to the top”. You’re only friends with that certain group now because of me. I never got any thanks, except just some “I know what I’m saying will hurt your feelings” Well, bitch, if you KNOW, then that just shows your colors. Again, you KNEW--you said YOU KNEW--, yet you still did it because YOU KNEW. You didn’t stab me in the back. You stabbed me in the front while you were smiling and pretending to be the “innocent soul” that you have everyone believing you are.

I was Miru’s sister first, by the way. We even endearingly called each other “hermana” just as such. So, sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart, you weren’t her first “sister”.

If I could go back in time, I would refrain from commenting on your poor excuse for art—talking about how “cute it is”—, and completely disregard you as a person, much less an artist. You only advanced and grew as an artist BECAUE OF ME. And I, unfortunately, got to see you true colors when you decided to indirectly admit that you were using me.

Now, I’m used to people pretending to be my friend. But this was the first time someone had done so just so that they can get to where they are in life now.

So, just remember... You’re only Nova’s “little sister” because of me. You’re only friends with all of them because of me. You’re only where you are now because of me.

~~~

@zorakschicken / @zoraksrambles

Fuck you.

During the entire year where you had family member after family member (and your dog) die, I would drop messages here and there checking in on you. I didn’t bother you with messages every single day, like I’m sure you like to think (because “Big Bad Saki/Kura” is constantly and daily harassing people, apparently -__- ). Yeah, I vented to you now and then, but, compared to the times where I sent messages of support to you... those spurts of venting were SMALL in comparison. But, obviously, me venting was just oh so much more outrageous than the supportive messages that heavily outweighed everything.

“I won’t block you. I just think we need to take a break.” That was what you said before we agreed to take a break. And what happened? YOU FUCKING LIED! You blocked me on every single social media outlet that we share. Now, I don’t have a problem with being blocked--I could honestly care less if I got blocked--; what I’m pissed about is that you LIED ABOUT IT. Now, I blocked you first, because, for half a month after our agreement to “take a break”, you would snoop around on my dA (I track IPs, and have your name listed as such every time you pop by, so I know it’s you). It was really creepy and sus af, so I very briefly blocked you because “if you want to take a break from being friends, why tf are you snooping around...? >A>;;” So, you could back off. And then what? You block me for no reason? I didn’t fucking snoop around on you, like you did to me. WTF, dude...

And another thing that always bugged me... you Commissioning Nova. yeah, she’s your friend--but SO WAS I (at the time, at least). And you even mentioned to me how interested you were in my commissions, which were marginally cheaper than hers. So, for someone going through “financial issues”, you certainly are a hypocrite. Not to mention... it shows who you really saw as a “friend”, and our friendship meant nothing.

“Saki is always so negative. I can’t handle such negativity. It’s toxic.” You have an entire blog dedicated to hating some version of a series. What’s your excuse? Nothing but a double standard, if you ask me. Imagine being so high on your horse that you dedicate your time to something that upsets you. (That’s not me being hypocritical. That’s me saying “Hey kettle. You’re black just like me.”

You have schizophrenia. So what? I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but you don’t seeing me play that card as an excuse for my fucking behavior. I never have used any mental illness to excuse my behavior, which, let’s be real here--I’m fully aware of my negative track record, but not once did I play the “mental illness” card. I’ll use it to explain my behavior, yes, and emphasize that that’s the main reason why I’m Public Enemy Number 1 in the FMA Fandom and the reason why everyone left. But, I don’t use my mental illness like some “Get Out of Jail Free Card”, or to make people pity me or anything.

You may think that me making this call out post is the worst thing I could have done to you, but I could have done much worse. Remember: We shared phone numbers. I promptly deleted yours after we agreed to “take a break”, because I’m not that type of person to do shady shit with people’s personal information, unless it’s 100% necessary.

At the end of the day all I can say is this: Fuck you, you lying ass two-faced piece of shit.

~~~

@novanoah & @mari-m-rose

Despite what you may think... I do have screenshots. Or, “Proofs” as you like to call them (because “proofs” is totally a word, and not the incorrect use of “proof”... -_- ). The most recent screenshot is of Nova in 2017 committing libel against my friend with a one-sided no-”proofs”-used-to-back-up-her-claim post on Tumblr just to use her mob mentality and further show that she’s the type to use her popularity against people who are smaller than her. (Those “proofs” I have, by the way, and can show how full of shit she is).

And, it still disgusts me to this day that you are “happy” that I was told to kill myself. Are you kidding me? And here I thought I was the one that was fucked up in the head, and all I’ve ever done to all of you was stupid petty shit. To be “happy” that a person you don’t like is told (by numerous people) to kill themselves though...? What the hell is wrong with you? In that case, I’m sure you were crossing your fingers and praying for my death when I was diagnosed with cancer--only to have your little celebration party canceled when it wasn’t a severe type. But, I’m sure you got all ecstatic afterwards when the YouTube Ranters went out of their way to find my mailing address for the sole purpose of “Making [me] so stressed out that [my] cancer comes back and kills [me].” By your logic, you should be in absolute euphoria from that -__-

Sorry to disappoint you all, but the harassing, petty, little twat that bothered you all and gave you a hard time for a decade to the point she made you all (and every other single person) leave the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom is, unfortunately, hard to get rid of.

Speaking of Nova committing libel... let me just say that your little fanbrat Retreat coming after me last year wasn’t unnoticed. I knew it was sketchy af the moment they first appeared—it was no different than Cheery’s fanbrats Vixx_Der coming after me on Twitter for no reason and completely out of the blue just a month prior. So... Nice try at attempting to “give [me] a taste of my own medicine”. Committing borderline Tortious Interference... yeah, okay. That’s totally not something I could sue for. If not--defamation (which, had I known was a suable offense at the time, I would have totally done against Mayou back in 2016).

And, like I mentioned in Mary’s little snippet up above... she’s only your friend and “little sister” because of me, so you’re fucking welcome. And, if it turns out that she’s using you the way she used me... I will laugh my ass off.

Above all else, and most importantly, my view of you both and the rest of the FMA OC Matriach is, has been, and always will be the same. I made a vow to “knock [you all] off your throne(s).” And I still plan to keep that promise. Because people like you shouldn’t be using that “I have a big number of subscribers/followers/watchers on my page, which makes me better than you~” mentality like you all have been. You’re all--every single one of you--are nothing more than HUMAN BEINGS. You’re not better than anyone one else, and you never will be. Guess what, snowflakes? Outside of your little cyberspace “safe place”, you have no power. Stop acting like you’re better than everyone else, especially to KIDS who are HALF YOUR AGE, and you think it’s right to make some stupid tumblr post (that has no evidence backing up your claim, and can be considered defamation, if not libel) painting that CHILD as an “evil person” and to order everyone to block them just because they said something you didn’t like. “I respect people who have different opinions than me” is the most obvious lie you have ever told. You’re nearly 30-years-old. Act like it and grow up. Stop bullying kids by abusing your power. You’re a HUMAN, just like the rest of us.

~~~

@mayounnaise / @sharkynnaise

Don’t know if you have a tumblr on here or not, but I couldn’t care less at this point. Let me go on the record of saying this:

Commit defamation against me one more time. Commit Tortious Interference like you did with (commissioner, who I won’t mention) again one more time. I dare you.

I WILL sue your ass, knowing what I do now--that what you did is a suable offense.

~~~

@miru-p

I could say some pretty fucked up things right now, but I’m not that terrible of a person. I mean, I am a terrible person, but I’m not terrible enough to say fucked up things like: “Your family member deserved to live, and both of your positions should have been swapped over the holidays during that time. I’m sure your family member was a much better person than you.”

So, I’ll just simply say this: Vete a tomar por culo.

~~~

@hitantenshi

You are one of the most hopelessly optimistic people I know. The fact that you believe that people can change for the better is just absolutely sad. I mean, hello, have you seen my track record? I’m the bright and shining example and living embodiment of the reason why people don’t change. No matter how badly they want to. And if it’s because of a mental disorder, well, it sucks, because that diagnosis came too late and the damage was already done.

So, you’re all going to have to deal with this monster while I’m still around.

~~~

And to make it clear to every other single person reading this:

I’m not excusing what I did in the past, nor am I trying to make any excuses. I’m fully aware of the things that I did. However, that doesn’t mean that fakers should get some “get out of jail free card” and get away with it just because “they’re popular” or “friends with popular people”.

I’m fully aware of what I am. And, I’m fully aware that I’m hated because I’m a narcissistic, selfish, heartless, backstabbing, toxic, indifferent annoyance, harassing, ungrateful, apathetic, hurtful, manipulative, bullying, dramatic, sensitive, arrogant, petty, spiteful, over dramatic, drama whore, lying, shady, sociopathic bitch.

I’d constantly tell myself and others that “I’m changing” or “I’ve changed”, when really... I was just lying to them—and to myself—to make myself feel better. Always running away from some imaginary monster, and trying to be the perfect innocent souls that could do no harm. For a long time, I had actually believed that; fooling myself as much as I did everyone else.

Just want to make that perfectly clear. I’m not making excuses or using my mental disorder as an excuse or whatever. I just feel like I have to keep repeating myself all the time when it comes to stuff like this -__- (especially when people tell me otherwise).

#'wait a minute saki' I hear you say. 'why are you bashing and harassing all of these people while still apologizing? Isn't that fucked up?'#hurt people hurt people. And I've been hurting all these people for 10 years.#if they're not used to it by now... they need to start eventually #monsters like me do this to people. It's what I do and have been doing #I'm used to it and have accepted what I unfortunately am for years #I also just need to get it out there that these people #especially the ones that pretend to be sweet little lolis and innocent souls #aren't the 'little miss perfects' that they pretend to be just so that they can get that 'little sister' status #plus people who are nothing more than 'fake friends' need to be called out #I have nothing left to lose. I know I'm a monster and that's just the way things are #and to Asalie and Mary... I hope your deaths are the most painful thing you’ll ever experience. It’s Equivalent Exchange #madiis musings #you know who you are

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buffyversefanfiction · 4 years

Text

Felix Fierce (Buffy and Angel Fanfiction) Season 1

Episode 2 - The Intake

Warnings: I do not own or claim to own the original content to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “Angel”, the comics or any of the original characters from the “Buffyverse” all rights belong to Joss Whedon.

15 plus, displays of Violence, Gore, Torture and Sexual Innuendos, M/M, F/M, F/F.

Into every generation there was a chosen one until a powerful witch called Willow Rosenberg changed the rules forevermore.

No longer would Buffy Summers stand-alone against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness.

She was the slayer that changed everything but now it’s his turn.

Felix was training within the backroom turned training room within the Scorching Scorchville store as he continued to punch and kick his punchbag, his hits growing harder and harder as he found himself within flashbacks of his vampire ex before until his last hit made the punchbag come of it’s hook and flew across the room harshly hitting the floor as Trix walked into the room.

“If only that punchbag was a vampire although it looks like you may have been picturing it as one particularly a very recent vampire.” Trix said as she walked over to her slayer. “I guess we’re still dealing with the fallout from that.”

“I was thinking maybe I don’t have to kill him I mean there must be some other way Trix something that doesn’t involve me killing the first guy who ever loved me.” Felix replied to his watcher.

“He’s a vampire you’re a slayer enough explanation needed there.” Trix explained to him. “I get when some people first kill someone they know they find it rather difficult but what you got to remember is Thorn isn’t the man you knew he’s nothing more than a monster who will keep killing people until you stop him.”

“I get that I really do I mean I looked into his eyes and the man was gone nothing left but the monster, but he still has the face of the man I love.” Felix admitted. “I never asked for this gig and I certainly didn’t ask to be the guy hunting down my ex just to dust him.”

“Nobody asks to be a slayer, but they would never be called as one if destiny itself didn’t believe they were fit for the job.” Trix told him.

“I best get ready for my other calling,” Felix said, changing the subject. “The one where I go to a school run by my own father now that’s a whole other level of forces of darkness working to screw my life!”

“Are you always going to be this dramatic?” Trix asked while laughing at the eighteen-year-old boy.

“Always.” Felix admitted.

“Look I’m not saying I knew things were going to end badly but I kind of did.” Bryce told Mercy as the two walked down a busy hallway within Scorchville High.

“Well I liked him so I’m still holding up they wind up back together.” Mercy replied. “Besides Felix has been moody distant and very secretive during their split he’s clearly either missing Thorn or began a top-secret torrid affair.”

“Maybe it’s with a teacher that would explain his A in chemistry.” Bryce guessed as the two stopped at Bryce’s locker.

“Please that’s so cliche he’s probably just trying his hardest to hide heartbreak speaking of which has Malerie spoken to you since New Year’s?” Mercy asked Bryce as he opened his locker and pulled out some schoolbooks.

“We decided we’d see other people or that she did one hour into the party.” Bryce revealed. “Now back to Felix if he was going to have a secret romance who do you reckon would be the prime suspect?”

“God, we need to get you a girlfriend.” Mercy laughed at Bryce before they noticed Rick walking towards them both.

“Weird it looks like Mercy and Bryce, but it seems to be missing their third part of the world’s most unhip throuple.” Rick taunted them.

“Rick do you have nothing better to do than go around school looking the next target of your bitchiness?” Mercy asked her high school nemesis.

“Not really no,” Rick admitted before taking a deep sigh. “I kind of need your help in my history class.”

“No chance in hell.” Mercy cackled.

“My parents said they get me a car if my grades started to improve but turns out studying is incredibly dull and draining so I figured considering you have nothing better to do with your life that you could tutor me.” Rick replied to her.

“You do realize when asking for favors your supposed to not be mean right?” Bryce asked Rick.

“I was being as nice as possible hence my restrain in mentioning your god awful taste in clothing it’s like we get it Bryce Kane you’re a straight but it’s 2020 and even straight guys are expected to style themselves with the light on now.” Rick snapped at Bryce before turning his attention back to Mercy. “I really need your help Mercy.”

“What’s in it for me?” Mercy wondered.

“You get to see my stunning smile after I get my dream car.” Rick said before realizing Mercy wasn’t sold. “I’ll pay you.”

“Now we’re talking.” Mercy replied with a smile as Felix made his way over to them.

“Guys I thought we didn’t play with trolls anymore.” Felix said to Mercy and Bryce while delivering a death glare towards Rick.

“Hey Felix, I heard Thorn finally saw sense and dumped you I guess that means he’s single now I wonder if he’s looking for an upgrade.” Rick replied, winding up Felix.

“By all means Rick please do go out with him in fact take him for a bite to eat.” Felix told him knowing nobody but him knew what he meant.

“Please liked I’d ever date somebody called Thorn it’s almost as bad as Felix don’t worry though Felix, I’m sure you going to be dumped many times in future.” Rick mocked him.

“Rick it’s time for you to beat it before I beat you.” Bryce warned him.

“I could take you.” Rick replied getting up in Bryce’s face.

“Rick stop being a prick and leave before I reconsider helping you.” Mercy threatened her redheaded enemy.

“Very well I’ll see you losers in class.” Rick said before walking away.

“Someone please remind me why we let that bitch breathe?” Felix asked Mercy and Bryce.

“How are things on your front?” Bryce questioned Felix. “Have you heard from Thorn?”

“Exes don’t tend to talk.” Felix snapped before realizing he was being harsh. “Sorry it’s been rough.”

“Yeah we figured since you’ve been avoiding us.” Mercy replied.

“I’ve not been avoiding I started working at Scorching Scorchville.” Felix lied. “And trust me when I say the job isn’t pretty.”

“What? No fair I should get to work with the Lance lady.” Mercy moaned.

“So, what inspired this sudden need for getting a job?” Mercy asked Felix as they studied at a desk within the Scorchville High Library.

“Needed a job got a job now I work that job.” Felix replied.

“Okay what’s with this distant and secretive attitude suddenly have Bryce and I done something to piss you off?” Mercy wondered.

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be secretive it’s just my life has kind of got complicated lately and I can’t really explain it.” Felix apologised to his best friend.

“So, what you’re not telling me has it got something to do with how you and Thorn really broke up?” Mercy questioned him.

“Yeah.” Felix admitted.

“Okay you deal with your hangover whatever way you want to but try to remember we’re here and not going anywhere.” Mercy promised.

“Thanks, I love you.” Felix replied.

“I love your shady secretive ass too.” Mercy declared.

“I just hate having to lie to them I mean you said that slayer told her friends the one who changed practically everything so why can’t I tell them?” Felix asked his watcher as they walked down a shady looking street within Scorchville.

“Here I never said you can’t tell anyone we don’t live by the old rules of the watcher’s council anymore I simply said don’t be getting any troublesome teens under my feet because I may just squash them if they become too much of an annoyance.” Trix replied before the two stopped outside a boarded up and run-down house. “Sure, looks like a vampire’s nest.”

“I get their undead and everything but being house proud doesn’t have to die just because you do.” Felix said as he pulled out a wooden stake from his jacket, walked over to the door and kicked it down. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Remember light is your friend right now try to get as much of it in there before you start staking everyone.” Trix shouted as Felix walked into the run-down home.

“Felix isn’t home…again.” Fyre said after opening her front door to find Mercy and Bryce on her doorstep.

“He’s working already, when does he finish?” Bryce asked Felix’s sister.

“Felix doesn’t have a job dad would never allow it he’s archaic in the sense he thinks we should be all school even when we’re not there and fitting in a job between studying is just too radical for the old man.” Fyre scoffed. “He’s just been spending a lot of time with the boyfriend lately.”

“Thorn and Felix broke up weeks ago.” Mercy revealed to her.

“I did wonder why he never showed up for New Year’s Dinner,” Fyre admitted to them both. “So, he’s hiding his breakup to hide his job that makes no sense unless there’s something else he’s hiding.”

“Okay I’m really beginning to think there is another guy on the scene.” Bryce admitted.

“Wouldn’t you guys be the first people to know about that?” Fyre asked Mercy and Bryce. “It’s got to be something juicier than that like an addiction or escorting.”

“I think we’d know if he was having addiction problems and Felix is way too much a romantic to make people pay for escorting services.” Mercy told Fyre before turning to look at Bryce. “What if he’s seeing someone we don’t like?”

“Rick Star,” Fyre guessed. “They two were way too close before they became bitter rivals maybe they’re hooking up and that’s why he dumped Thorn. Nah, that would make no sense because one of us would’ve heard from Thorn by now.”

“True.” Mercy agreed. “Why haven’t we heard or seen Thorn since the breakup?”

“Okay consider myself intrigued I say we go to Thorn’s house and interrogate him until we find out what the hell’s going on.” Fyre said as she walked onto the doorstep closing her door behind her.

“We should probably respect Felix’s privacy.” Mercy reluctantly suggested. “He won’t be happy with us.”

“He’s never happy with me anyway so I’ll go do the snooping.” Fyre said, volunteering herself.

“Well see you’re the bad cop and interrogations also need a good cop.” Bryce replied. “I better come with you to complete the dynamic duo.”

“If you two are going to go I guess I’ll have to follow suit you know for damage control or whatever story Felix will buy.” Mercy decided.

“What took you so bloody long?” Trix asked Felix after he walked out of the rundown house covered in dust with his clothes stained with blood that wasn’t his.

“It was like a very violent game of hide and seek with the undead.” Felix replied as he walked over to the watcher. “Add a little bit of light and they act like hairy assed children.”

“Thankfully your done now,” Trix said while looking up in the sky towards the sunset “As we don’t have much daylight left.”

“I guess this means you want me to go patrolling at the local cemeteries and other vampire hot spots.” Felix guessed correctly. “I’ll go home and change soon don’t ask me how I’m going to explain blood stained clothes to my father but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.”

“Speaking of patrolling have you seen the vampire ex since that night?” Trix asked her slayer.

“Thankfully that’s a big fat no!” Felix revealed.

“Have you check in on his relatives and friends they tend to be the vampire’s main targets after first turning?” Trix questioned him.

“No but that kind of information would’ve been useful when he first turned now, I’ve got to go check up on if my ex killed his parents.” Felix moaned. “I’m sure that won’t be awkward either they’ve not seen or heard their son in weeks or I’m about to find their dead bodies and considering I’ve not heard from them or the police I’m going to go with death bodies.”

“On the bright side at least, you won’t have to make awkward small talk.” Trix replied.

“Aren’t you supposed to care more?” Felix asked her.

“Being a watcher is simply just a job for me as is running Scorching Scorchville although one definitely pays better than the other caring about people makes it too personal and why bother when your shelf life is as short as a dog’s.” Trix admitted. “Don’t get me wrong you’re a great kid and I expect we’re going to do great thing’s together but I’m not going to tear up because some people I don’t even know are dead.”

“Oh well here goes nothing.” Fyre said as her, Bryce and Mercy stood in front of Thorn’s front door as day was now night, before Fyre knocked on the door only for it to open by itself.

“Hello!” Bryce shouted into the house only to hear no response.

“I mean is it really breaking and entering if the place is open?” Fyre asked Mercy and Bryce.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure it is.” Mercy replied. “However, if there’s a computer, tablet, laptop or even a phone left inside to have a quick look at searching history nobody would even have to know we were snooping.”

“Providing we don’t get caught and end up in jail.” Bryce told them, clearly uncertain of what they were about to do next.

“It’s Scorchville County Jail how bad could it really be.” Fyre scoffed before walking into the house, Bryce and Mercy quickly following her in.

“Has Thorn’s house always been this spooky or am I just being para?” Bryce asked to no answer as the three of them walked into the living room of Thorn’s family home only to be left terrified by Thorn’s parents’ lifeless and bloodied bodies lying on the floor with the entire room covered in their blood.

“Okay I’m beginning to think we should stop snooping now.” Mercy said to them both before turning around only for all three of them to scream to see Thorn now standing in front of them.

“Thorn what the hell happened here?” Fyre asked her brother’s ex-boyfriend. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry about your parents.”

“Don’t be sorry after all I’m the one who killed them.” Thorn laughed before turning his face into vampire mode. “But it’s okay as you guys are next.”

Fyre, Bryce and Mercy stood there frozen by their fear until Felix came smashing through the window shattering the glass in the process as he landed on both feet once more and quickly put himself in front of his friends and sister, protecting them from his vampiric ex.

“I told you guys not to snoop!” Felix snapped at Fyre, Bryce and Mercy before turning his attention to Thorn. “You really aren’t the same person anymore.”

“I’m not even a person.” Thorn cackled before charging towards Felix who quickly swung his fist and punched the vampire in the face before delivering several more punches and jumping mid air to kick him in the face sending the vampire flying into the hallway and crashing onto the floor.

“Okay Felix what the bloody hell is going on?” Fyre screamed in both fear and confusion.

“Thorn’s a vampire now and I’m a slayer.” Felix answered his sister before running into the hallway to find Thorn had vanish. “Damn it I guess dusting that vamp will have to wait for another night.”

“What exactly is a slayer?” Bryce asked as he, Mercy and Fyre followed Felix into the hallway. “And how long have you known your boyfriend was a vampire.”

“Since New Year’s which is also when I learned about the slayer business it’s been a whole thing.” Felix replied.

“This is so not what I was expecting your secret to be why can’t you just be sleeping with a teacher or god even Rick Star.” Mercy complained to Felix.

“Rick Star?” Felix laughed.

“So, vampires’ demons and the forces of darkness really do exist.” Bryce said in shock while he, Mercy and Felix sat at the end of Felix’s bed.

“And slayers, witches, werewolves the lot.” Felix replied.

“Kind of makes sense what doesn’t make sense though is Thorn killing his own parents.” Mercy admitted to them both.

“I know,” Felix said with a sad tone in his voice. “But he has no soul anymore he’s just a bloodthirsty monster that sooner or later I’m going to have to put down.”

“Why has it got to be you?” Mercy asked him.

“Because I’m the slayer albeit not the only slayer in the world but the only slayer in this town and it’s up to me to protect my home.” Felix answered. “Besides despite hunting my ex being the slayer kind of feels right like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing which my watcher Trix says plays into that whole destiny part of being a slayer.”

“Hold up so Trix Lance the owner of Scorching Scorchville is in on all this too?” Mercy said with excitement. “I knew she was awesome from the first time I saw her, but this is a whole new level of wacky.”

“Yeah,” Felix laughed.

“So, you’re the slayer, we’re friends of the slayer and your ex is a vampire.” Bryce told Felix. “Where do we go from here?”

A few hours passed and Bryce and Mercy eventually went home after full out interrogating Felix about all things slayer related and Felix found himself sitting on his bed by himself looking through the photos of him and Thorn deleting them one by one as tears began forming in his eyes till he heard a knock at the door.

“I’m just going to bed!” He shouted before Fyre walked in. “Look I’m all talked out about slayer stuff I’ll fill you in come morning.”

“It’s okay I’ve watched enough horrors to get the rough idea of what’s going down and the rest I’ll either google or hit you up for later.” Fyre replied to her older brother as she walked across his room to sit down next to Felix. “I’m here to check up on you I know you loved him.”

“I really did.” Felix cried. “But I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will.” Fyre said before giving her brother a hug. “But for now, it’s okay to not be okay.”

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crqstalite · 4 years

Text

SHADOW OF THE SITH, CH. 3

TRI'AMA_RISHI.

"If I hear one more person refer to me as a Howling Tempest gang leader, I will not hesitate to stab them through." Tri'ama deadpans, just loud enough so that anyone nearby could hear. Pierce stifles a chuckle as some of the pirates look away quickly from her gold tinged glare. The blonde sith was already tired of the pirate infested planet, and being considered one was infuriating. Being feared wasn't horrible, but if she was going to be feared, she was going to be feared for her status as a Sith lord, not some wayward gang leader.

Rishi was...interesting. Whatever vision she'd got to send her here was about to be shoved to the very back corners of her mind and she'd just wait to see what occurred because of it. After two years of being driven up the walls by the incompetent dark council (moreso by Darth Nox, but she digressed), she was ready to give up and hunt down the blonde Sith to get on with this Revanite business. She'd surprisingly had more fun then than wallowing in memories, alcohol and dealing with less than intelligent political leaders. The smell of salty water was settling into her bones and the near constant chatter of squatters and criminals alike nearly made her force choke one of those damned monkey lizards if their owners weren't holding onto them.

Damn those infuriating laughs of the tiny bastards.

The new armor helped with the heat of the planet itself though. The heavy armor that she typically donned on adventures proved to be too much within even an hour of being on planet, and she'd immediatly switched it out for a hooded half shirt, sleeveless, with a thinner pair of armored pants and clunky but breathable boots. Anyone one this planet with half a brain would steer clear of her anyways, so her midriff would be fine.

Had it been three years ago, she was sure she probably would've gotten at least a wolf whistle from Pierce, but the man had been surprisingly silent on her new look. Protective, even. Her haircut would have to wait until much later, as the blonde strands were beginning to inch down the nape of her neck and stick there. Tied back with a silk band, she'd had to lower her hood once she'd found some inch of shade and remove her respirator just to relieve herself of the pent up heat in her body. Zykken's information to find whoever did have said information on her was going to take a lot more than just her willpower to get done. She'd sent it to Vette to look it over, then extending it to Pierce, but the three of them couldn't make heads or tails of the intel. Her mind kept wandering to the person who was supposed to be good at these things, good with the insane amount of aurebesh that needed to be decoded, and it was hard to keep those thoughts at bay. The datapad, well, that was another story entirely.

And the Red Hulls. Some cannibalistic gang that apparently had also recently arrived on Rishi. Only days prior before she had landed, something about them had flared up and they were the literal talk of the small town. Some were beginning to gossip that the two new gangs would eventually fight each other, and at this point, she wouldn't exactly stand down if it meant they'd accept she wasn't a gang leader. Hell, those in the cantina when she killed Gorro still didn't believe her, even after she'd killed him by throwing him against and a wall and then progressing to snap his neck with just a twist of her fingers. People here were either stupid, or blind. Or both, if she was being honest. Gutter trash didn't always have brain cells rattling around in those skulls of theirs.

Guzzling down another unidentifiable drink (assured at force choking range that it wouldn't kill her and-please let me down-replenshing electrolytes and hydrating-yes please let me down ), she swiped at her forehead to keep the sweat from dripping into her eyes again. Looking over, she jabbed an elbow at her companion, "Aren't you dying in that pack of armor, Pierce?"

He didn't immediatly answer (a bad sign, Vette had been rather unresponsive while they were on Tatooine and though she'd reassured her, the blue twi'lek had passed out a half an hour later. The same with...him), and she forced a bottle of the blue liquid into his hands, "I'll be fine, m'lord." He finally responded after chugging down the contents and looking visibly relieved. Most would assume she was ruthless and vile with everyone, but even the literal hulk of muscle had carved out a place in her heart. She'd rather not have him collapse on her because of heat exhaustion.

"We can always head back to the Fury. It's been a long day, and there's no reason to force ourselves to stay out here when there's nothing to be found." She admits, the sun beginning to set over the shanty town as she disposes of the bottle and stands from her perch on the barrel. "Whatever's out here can be hunted down tomorrow if it truly is that much of an issue."

He chuckles darkly, "You were the one who forced us out here. Sure it'll cool down once the bloody sun is out of the way," he pauses, most likely because she's reclipped her respirator on and raises an eyebrow, "that's if you want to, m'lord."

She rolls her eyes at the formality. At one point, she saw it as a sign of power, having people respect her and be so absolutely fearful they always added her title, but there wasn't really a need for someone like Pierce to continue grovelling at her feet in such a manner. Well, maybe not grovelling (he pressed her buttons as often as Vette did, but those two were the only in the galaxy allowed to do so), but something closer to begrudging respect that she didn't enjoy. It was just, too close to the things he used to say. "If that's how you want to do it, then we'll stay out tonight, Ash."

The corners of his mouth quirk up into a bit of smile, one of the few times she's ever referred to him by even an inkling of his first name. They continue walking along for a bit, one hand always on one of her sabers before she can hear a crier droid clanking around the boardwalk. Stopping Pierce abruptly, she can just barely make out the droid's buzzing speech, "The Red Hulls have issued a challenge to the Howling Tempest gang! In an alleyway tonight, you may even find the two duking it out over Raider's Cove! Who will come out on top and really rule the Cove?"

"You were challenged?" He asks and she gives him a half shrug before turning to him, clearly even unsure of what he was talking about, and then her eyes were looking skywards at a building before smirking at the lieutenant. He sighs, "Leg up, eh?"

He does so, crouching down so she can climb over him to find a handhold to climb up the building, much like the small beats that stole every shiny thing they came across. Among the dizzying array of streets they could get lost in, it'd be easier just to scout the streets and find a general area of where the thing was clankering around. It was harder than expected, but easier than it had been once on Dromound Kaas when she'd attempted to scale a building to find a newly-appointed lord who thought it smart to disrespect Vette. Holding a hand over her eyes, she dangled precariously off the building with one hand and scouted the cove. While none stood out immediatly to her, something glinted harshly against the sun, and she had found her target. "Three klicks north, we can catch up if we hurry."

"Three? How can you hear that bloody thing then?" Pierce questions gruffly, just barely catching her as she slides down the building, air knocked out of him. "Sure there isn't one closer trying to blast our ears off?"

"There are so many alleys in this damn town, I'd rather go get the one I saw and pray it's still there." She says, nodding towards her sleek silver speeder bike. He climbs on first, and then her behind him as he revvs the engine.

He chuckles, throwing a look over his shoulder as she hooked one leg over the seat, "You gonna hold on this time?"

"If I must." She says, rolling her eyes. She wonders if he can tell how comfortable she's gotten around the soldier, willing to put her arms around his waist and lean into him. This, this isn't love. She knows that, though the struggling had only gotten worse after he had left. He was willing to let her sleep with him, but never pushed her any further than necessary. Let her cry, let her even take advantage of him at one point in some drunken fit she's forced out of her mind. She wasn't quick to say it didn't mean anything, it did, it meant she trusted him enough not to throw him out the air lock, but did admit she didn't have feelings for him. A small part of his mind had always been closed off to her, but at that moment she couldn't sense any repressed part of him. No regret, no sadness. Just...raw relief. Relieved because this meant she was regaining sense and was becoming herself again.

Not defined by someone.

Not defined by a hyphenated last name.

Just, her.

It left them much closer than they once had been, and less likely for him to get thrown through a bulkhead at every scathing remark he made. And every Watcher like position she made him take in retaliation. If the man hated one thing, it was being stuck on the ship and watching the action from above. To imagine the things that would've transpired if she'd given her heart to the lieutenant instead of the captain, how things probably still would've ended badly, just much more violent.

A thought for another night.

NAJI_RISHI.

"I didn't ever challenge anyone to gang war..." Naji mused, pulling her robes tighter around herself, as if that would help hide her in shadows of the dark town more than the force stealth would. Nadia shifted at her side, growing bored with the hiding technique. "If I didn't, who did?"

"I'm not sure, master. I don't think there's a signal force signature out here that would give them away either." Nadia remarks. It's a tad spooky speaking to a literal shadow, considering she couldn't even see her, or see her facial expressions. The darkness of Raider's Cove wasn't helping either, and it was a tad difficult to even know where anyone was. A dark furred Cathar had managed to sneak up behind her on the way to the alley way, and he was lucky he was just out of pole saber range. "You're really still keeping up this pirate thing though? It'd be easier to just abandon it all together."

"At this moment, we don't have anything to go on. It is easier to simply wait for the Howling Tempest's to show up and we can question them." Naji whispers, standing from her sitting position. It was still hot, but thankfully much cooler than it had been days before when they'd landed. She and Nadia had to hide in the cantinas to keep them from passing out. Jedi robes were, unsurprisingly, heavy and didn't leave much room for air. The two, keeping from garnering any unwanted attention, ended up in overcoats and looser tan clothing. Hiding the sabers had been harder, but the darkness of any room compared to the sun outside was enough to hide them. They ran into less questions than expected, other than the occasional 'so who are you running from?' from the occasional spacer.

"Be careful, please?" Felix had asked her once she was halfway off the Polaris, still a tad frustrated that he wouldn't take her with him to Rishi. Well, he acted as if he were unaffected, but he was pouting on the inside. "Dunno what I'd do if you died when I was away."

"I won't die, Felix. But if it makes you feel better, I promise to be careful." She says, rubbing the back of his hands with her thumbs. Calloused, roughened by years of war. But something about his eyes softened her insides to jelly. Dark, chocolate brown skin in comparison to her own sun-kissed pale hues, hazel orbs in comparison to her own azul irises. They were different, force blind, force sensitive, but she enjoyed their differences, and to think she'd let a pirate take her away from her soldier. "I love you." She whispers, pressing a kiss to his lips before Nadia appears at the top of the stairs.

"I love you too, Naj." Nadia passes by him, and he ruffles her white mop of hair, "Same goes for you Nadia. Be careful."

"Alright, alright." She says, trying to brush his hand away from her hair. While Nadia wouldn't say it, and still had a place in her heart for the memory of her father, she and Felix had a hard time not regarding the girl as their daughter. "Whatever you say, Felix." Nadia deadpans.

She nearly laughs herself, as dad was just on the tip of her tongue as Felix waved a final goodbye to the two women.

Still spooked her that someone had framed her as the leader of a cannibalistic gang even before she'd arrived. Sent a shiver down her core just listening to the rumors that quickly spread about her. Eating people? She wasn't anywhere near a picky eater, but the wide berth that had been given by most of the pirates and terrified looks behind their stoic appearances made her rethink going vegan.

Whoever really did go around eating people, she'd hunt down another day.

She heard the engine of speeder getting louder and louder, then abruptly stopping in front of the alley that she and Nadia had been hiding in. Pressing what she thought was the girl flatter against the wall, she was able to catch a larger man, decked out in black armor, making his way into the alley, rifle drawn. Others, the drunk night crowd she'd learned over the last few days, were slower to move away than the mostly sober ones who darted into shops or ran further into the alleys.

The woman who trailed after him, a woman on a mission with a lightsaber drawn and a red kyber crystal igniting it, made her blood run cold. No, no it couldn't be. It had to be some other Sith who just happened to be on Rishi at the same time as her. But one wavering gaze to where she and Nadia were hiding in plain sight, was enough to confirm that the Wrath had less than benevolent intentions of being here.

She pretended not to see her. Reaching out in the force, Naji could only feel a wall. Something between the force and her emotions, something she couldn't reach through. But it was ill-timed, because while attempting to do so, she had taken her mind off the Wrath long enough for the woman to pick up the roof of a stall and hurl it towards their current position.

Nadia just barely yanked her out of the way as the wooden roof crashed against the side of a building, and for a moment her ears were ringing as wood rained down on her and her padawan. "If you challenged me, show your face!" The Sith called out, all too close to where she and Nadia had just escaped near death. "I know you're here."

Hide your thoughts, hide your thoughts, she tried to reassure herself. The other girl couldn't see her, but reaching out to her in the force, they were quick regain their footing. Chunks of the roof came again, but Nadia forced up a barrier just in time, and Naji was quick to wrestle with the chunks from the Wrath. No longer invisible to the Sith and her companion, shots were fired off by the soldier as Naji managed to multi-task a bit and force a basket from a stand in his direction. With the Sith distracted, the chunks were in her control and she threw them back in their direction.

The two were quick, she'd admit. Too fast. Too soon, the Wrath had retaken the situation, and the soldier ducked out of the way, firing off a couple shots before his companion threw a chunk at the shield. Nadia was beginning to struggle, and as much as she tried to keep the woman distracted, she was beginning to fixate on the girl, growing closer and closer to the two before Naji could do anything. The wood was beginning to pound on their little safety bubble, and the gold light it was giving off was beginning to waver as Nadia's willpower did as well.

They had both gotten rusty over the last few years of being off the front lines. Now, they were paying for it.

"You wanted a challenge?" The wrath nearly purrs, before throwing one large panel of something from behind her. "Have one!"

Nadia ducks out of the way, rolling on her side as Naji puts up her own force shield, before something most literally pierces her shoulder, and she crumples in pain. Blood is beginning to gush from the wound, and her hand comes away sticky as she tries to figure what's happened. Eyes trained to the ground as she readjusts herself to be on her knees, her eyes trail upwards to the scantily dressed Sith Lord, and a quick reach with the force finds the rifle toting man now behind her that she hadn't seen before.

She's about to say something scathing before a fruit of some sort gets thrown -more like force thrown- at the Sith, and it clocks her in the head, a grunt escaping her as she can almost feel Nadia's giddy thoughts. Something she hadn't taught the girl, but it nearly made her laugh as anger flashed through the woman's eyes.

She raises one arm, and her heart stops when she hears struggling from her padawan, from her Nadia. Coughs, ragged breaths, as she holds her shoulder, hissing through her teeth from the pain. "Let her go!" Naji coughs out, red staining her pale fingertips.

The Wrath quirks an eyebrow, before Naji hears a slam and sees the woman throw her arm out to the side. Nadia hits the wall with a sickening snap, and Naji is about to have string of explatives leave her mouth before she hears more footsteps coming from the opposite direction. "That is enough!" With an Imperial accent.

Just barely turning her head, she can see green and black clad figure along with a red flash before she manages to stand herself. First, she rushes to Nadia, who groans first as her blue eyes crack open. Nothing seems to be immediatly broken, which fills her with undeniable anger. Fury, nearly, at the Wrath for hurting the girl.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There will be chaos if she hurts Nadia again, she thinks to herself.

"This wasn't the most conventional way to get them here, but I didn't think it'd lead to a fight!" Theron's voice, raspier than when they'd first met, but turning from Nadia's rising form, it's most definitely the SIS agent and his Sith companion. Her outfit had changed, but her blonde hair was still present. "Maybe you should've rethought this whole Sith and Jedi thing, Lana."

"I believed that the Barsen'thor would calm the situation first, though it seems the Wrath didn't give her the chance." Lana rubs her temples before turning to her, "Naji, it's been a while."

"It has." She grimaces, as the Wrath doesn't make eye contact with her. "You couldn't have sent a holo?"

"Discreet methods, I apologize for not making our intentions clear." Lana turns back to the Wrath, "You attacked the Barsen'thor?"

"In my defense, I was challenged by the leader of the Red Hulls at these coordinates. I didn't recognize them, fought them because of it. I wanted answers for why I was here and why someone pretended I was a gang leader." She responds, crossing her arms as her soldier reholsters his rifle. "You would have answers for me, wouldn't you?"

"We had to lure you here under false pretenses, but Lana thought it'd be smart to bring you both. Something about Revan being too dangerous to deal with, especially with only one of you, that we needed both." Theron responds, "This...wasn't supposed to happen."

"We're not the most predictable people either, Shan. That excited to see me?" And there it was, the same old Wrath with her flirtatous nature. That, hadn't changed even though her companion had. The burly man didn't seem to react at all, possibly they were weren't involved as she'd previously assumed.

"I..look, Naji will she be alright?" Theron asks, as Lana continues conversing with the Wrath. He hisses through his teeth once he gets a good look at her. "Will you be okay?"

"Nothing some kolto and meditation can't fix, Theron." She shakes her head and allows herself to smile, "It's good to see you too."

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snkpolls · 5 years

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SnK S3E19 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 295 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 285 Responses

This episode raked in high reviews as the rest of the season did, although less people enjoyed it as much as they enjoyed the previous episodes.

The animation was odd in the first half of the episode, but it was absolutely incredible in the second half. Overall an amazing episode, somehow making filler scenes brilliant

It was a little rushed (which is understandable), so 4/5 stars. Overall a really good episode, I think.

I will be honest: the episode was very average. The basement reveal was animated very well. Eren and Mikasa's memories also were very emotional. However, in the scene with Armin & the rest of group the quality of animation dropped harshly. I know that not every scene in the anime can be animated on the highest level, but this one was just looking really bad.

Animation quality took a drop but I still loved it!

I really enjoyed it, and seeing Faye was surprisingly moving given that I'm not really a bit fan of the switch to Marley.

The animation wasn't as good as previous episodes but I didn't really mind, especially because there was a frame in there that made it look like Levi was sMILING and I am so here for that

I've been waiting so long for this episode.

what a beautiful episode, in all ways.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 290 Responses

Seeing young Grisha and Faye in Marley was the clear highlight of this episode for manga readers, with 37.6% of the vote going to the after-credits scene! Behind that at 12.1% was the scene of Eren and Mikasa nostalgically walking through their hometown, and 9.3% of respondents got a kick out of Levi opening the door in his own way.

I live for animated moments of Dad! Levi to his squad.

At first I was worried that they would just show the photo as the cliffhanger, but once we got the post credit scene I was blown away

I loved the first moments with Faye and young Grisha. Awww! Faye was so extremely cute and innocent. I would love to hug her! I thought that Historia was the sweetest as a kid, but now Faye takes 1st place :)

WHAT’S THE SIGNIFICANCE OF ARMIN SEEING THE COLOSSAL TITAN CRYING, SAYING “IT HURTS?” 288 Responses

36.5% of respondents believe that Armin is hearing and seeing Bertolt’s emotional pain over everything that’s happened to him. 27.1% think that this scene highlights part of the process of memory transfer from one holder of the titan to the successor. 12.8% feel that this is meant to highlight more the process of transferring the titan power to a new host.

A mixture of the Bert's physical and emotional pain, the transfer through paths and the extra creepiness. Bert here is behaving like a typical Japanese ghost who was killed in a brutal manner; notice the paths here are devoid of lights. Bert needs someone to exorcise him.

He's hearing Sasha saying 'It hurts' and because he's only half conscious and still possibly linked to Bertolt's memories, he's projecting it onto Bert. I think his subconscious knows he's eaten Bert at this point.

It has to do with the titan power, and how it hurts to carry such a burden of great power

Bert has been suffering too, just like Reiner, so a little bit of everything.

Foreshadowing of what Armin’s burden is going to be. He is going to have to kill a lot of people if he wants to protect the people within the walls. It’s a depressing fact for one of the more pure-hearted characters who just wants peace.

I think it’s an excellent presentation how Titan inheritors are connected both physically and emotionally

it's a pretty good summation of all those things tbh. Everything Bert went through can be summed up with "it hurts" tbh

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CARLA’S SHORT HAIR? 291 Responses

Overall the fandom has neutral responses (33.7%) to the short clip of Carla with short hair, with just a slight edge of people (18.9%) who thought it was a good look on her. 16.2% of responses disliked the short hair.

I answered the Carla hair question with 3 because there is no "I don't care" option

HOW WELL DID THIS EPISODE ADAPT THE CORRESPONDING CHAPTERS? 288 Responses

Respondents felt that WIT did a good job at sticking to the source material again this episode, even though they stretched some scenes out with filler.

The pace was a little long but I really liked the episode's poetry and all the scenes in Shiganshina of the four walking, Hanji and her shadow reflecting next to a flower, Levi and the broken glass, Eren and Mikasa children ... it was very lyrical!

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE EXTENDED SCENE OF EREN AND MIKASA WALKING THROUGH SHIGANSHINA? 292 Responses

56.2% of the fandom enjoyed the extended scene of Eren and Mikasa walking through Shiganshina, feeling that it helped to amplify the nostalgia and grief that they felt as they finally revisited their old home. 22.3% felt that the scene had a lot of emotional impact, saying that it tugged at their heartstrings. 11.6% felt the filler wasn’t necessary but still enjoyed it nonetheless.

They just came for my whole entire heart huh

Honestly, it was a little boring to watch, I want to believe that it was stretched for the sake of that masterpiece of end scene.

It was a lovely and poignant time-killer.

The walk to EM's house was really well done, it took me some tears, and i loved the additional scenes...

Somebody hug these two please and thank you. I thought for a moment they were gonna show us the untouched insides of buildings. But it was indeed pretty good.

THAT SHIT WAS ART!! I got real chills

It was better in the manga. It was badly executed in the anime.

Just seeing Hannes again made it worth it. Also it was a good throwback to episode 1.

It honestly highlighted how terrible the animation was in this episode, because the flashbacks had much higher quality

Literally my favorite part, I think it added a lot of gravity to the situation. Like we know it's their hometown, but the way this was animated really brought you back to where it all started, which also adds weight to the whole, "Oh god, we accomplished our second-biggest goal (getting to the basement) but we're still not finished at all" thing.

The concept of it was fine, and it touched my heart for the first bit of it, but it went on far too long.

HOW DID YOU FEEL FINALLY SEEING MARLEY ANIMATED? 289 Responses

We finally reached the Grisha Files™ and got to see Marley portrayed in the anime! 40.5% of respondents say that it felt incredible to finally see Marley come alive through animation, color and sound, while 38.1% marked it down as a surreal experience. 11.1% simply felt that it was neat.

I love Marley arc, seeing it animated and different vibes of music, and voice acting are very good. Can't wait what they have when marley arc fully animated

Animation was shit. Really disappointed they dropped the ball on animating Marley.

It was my favorite part of this episode. I truly love Faye. She is way cuter in the anime and so innocent. Everything about that moment was perfect.

I really dislike everything that came after the basement so reaching this point was sad for me.

DEAR GOD Y E S—

I could never picture it in my head before, and now I can! Liberio is so grey and sad!

Omg Faye is the cutest thing ever!!! I don't want to see what happend to her, I'm not ready!

I hoped they would save it for the next episode.

I’m not ready to face Marley or Marley arc Eren. Go back. Please go back.

The way they put that whole scene after the ending was weird

I never thought I’d be alive to see the day the beginnings of Marley getting animated; I know the next episodes are going to be perfection :’)

Marley music was 👌

BASED ON THE CAST CREDITS, THE MAN YOUNG GRISHA RAN INTO WAS ACTUALLY XAVER. THOUGHTS? 288 Responses

36.8% of respondents found the confirmation of the glasses man being Xaver to be an interesting detail, while 19.1% believe that this helps to further support the fan theory that Xaver and Kruger were working together all along. 15.6% of the fandom thinks that Xaver being familiar with Grisha since he was a boy makes his actions Zeke all the more disturbing.

How old is Xaver?? If that was him he has to be around 25-30 here. Which would make him 45+ with Zeke.

I believe it was Xaver all this time. It’s good to have a name with the face now.

There's no fucking way he wasn't working with Kruger. This is all connected lads

Just how fucking old is Xaver jfc also he knew grisha by name since childhood wtffff

I thought that was already obvious in the manga?

Nice easter egg, but that's all

The Xaver timeline makes sense, but it's a bit complicated.

The tidbit about Xaver was interesting. When I saw him in the anime it did remind me of Xaver since we've just been introduced to him, but I would never have guessed it was actually him. When you think about it, that day Grisha stumbled upon two people that later really shaped his life and set things into motion in the story. A nice coincidence to think of.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 289 Responses

It was a close call this time! 40.8% of the fandom are most looking forward to seeing Eren’s reaction to Eren inheriting his father’s memories and figuring out that Dina was the Smiling Titan. 39.4% are excited to see Grisha and Kruger meet for the first time. At a distant third, Grisha and Faye going beyond the wall to see the zeppelin got 10.4% of the vote.

Dogs are cute, Faye is cute. Combine the two, and you're shou tucker.

KRUGER

NEED GRISHA FILES

I'm not ready for Faye's fate !!! ;_;

there's so many things to look forward the next episode, initially I was pondering between the Kruger meeting and Fay's death but eventually I chose Eren's memories because I don't remember that part in the manga.

COMPARED TO THE FEEL OF SEASON 1, HAS THE DIRECTION OF THE STORY MET YOUR EXPECTATIONS? 289 Responses

Nearly 70% of respondents feel that Isayama’s story continues to get better as it goes on. 17% say that it didn’t meet their expectations from season 1, but that it’s not a bad thing at all! 8% are simply still here for the ride, but are still enjoying the series anyway.

I'm one of the apparent minority who actually prefer the tone and content of the story post-basement reveal. I've always cared more about the human aspect of the narrative, and at this point SNK is nothing if not a tale of the human condition, in all its beauty and horror.

Animation wise, I feel like aot peaked with season 2 and they just got lazy or were under a lot of time constraints while making season 3. Other than that, didn’t care for how they handled Uprising and the direction for Shiganshina has felt pretty unoriginal and hallow. I just hope the new studio can adapt the next season with quality that can match season 2 or at least season 1.

I'm ambivalent about it. I preferred the atmosphere of season 1, but I'm still interested in seeing where the story goes. For me the emotional and moral climax of the story happened on the roof in Shignashina though, and I've not been as convinced by what's happened since - so far at least.

Met and exceeded. Thank you isayama.

I will continue watching, but it feels like Isayama is making things up in the fly and doesn’t really have a clear idea of how the storyline is going to work.

This is the peak of the story for me, I look forward to the next seasons because of thar, I want to see if the direction of the anime could make the next arcs more appealing to me

I initially liked the direction in which the manga went but I am finding it hard to like the way the story progressed, and how the original characters are treated, compared to the new ones. I am really disappointed in Isayama's writing at this point, character wise.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

I love Armin

The animation quality dropped compared to the latest two episodes. The first half of the ep was kinda weird... like the hug, seemed like two different animators did it, because the lineart changes between s1 (thicker lines) and s3 style... Also they didn't do justice to Armin's abs...

Glad I'm a manga reader because this anime reveal was pretty underwhelming.

Imma say it, I didn't like that they showed a tiny snippet of Marley. I would have preferred if they'd ended on the photograph and the words "humanity has not perished". I have anime only friends who watched the Grisha/Faye scene and were like "...I feel like I don't have enough to even chew on right now?" Like it wasn't a punch in the gut like cutting on the photograph would have been, and it wasn't a full-fledged reveal so there isn't enough to go nuts over and debate and hypothesise. I mean it's still really good and I liked the episode, but the way they've sequenced the reveal isn't optimal to me.

I think they took a little too long to get to the basement. I understand why they wanted to, and the walk there was still really well done! But I think it'll now be a little tough to cram all the information they need to if they plan to end the season with chapter 90, which they of course do.

Faye is too adorable, there will be riots next week.

glad we're getting into the GOOD SHIT. give me marley

I love the soundtrack. It feels very different(in a good way) props to Sawano.

Tbh, the animation and pacing felt lacking in this episode, but we got Armin looking both like a Cinnamon bun and an Arman, and I am there for that.

I liked the story more when it was a creepy titan apocalypse instead of, well... this. But it's too late to back out now.

OH MAN, GOTTA LOVE THAT CLOSURE, IT FELT PERFECT WHEN THEY WERE WATCHING THE PHOTO AND THEN THE ENDING SONG STARTS TO ROLL OUT AND THAT POST CREDITS SCENE. JUST PERFECT

The additional material of this episode was really good in my opinion and the OST used on it was a pretty good election too, it fulfilled the purpose of make the viewer felt nostalgic, but the animation in the beggining was really "meh". And speaking about seeing Marley animated, for me the experience was literally a yelling and a "NO WAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!" I am so excited to see Grisha's backstory in colors! I can finally ear Kruger's voice, see the sunset falls down while Grisha take the photo and accept his mission, while Kruger give to him his final smile. Frankly this is my favorite "mini-story" of the manga, too shocking and enlightening. And to finish this, the appear of Xaver was too misplaced or it is just my idea? the timeline just doesn't fit into the story in my opinion. I think it was just a easter egg or something for the manga readers, I hope so lol.

For a long time I was scared that they were gonna leave out Eren hugging Armin and I'm so glad they didn't. Also the scene where Eren and Mikasa walked through the ruins of Shiganshina made my heart disintegrate. Thanks for amplifying the angst, WIT. 😭

When I read the manga, I remember fearing the idea about this getting animated because this part truly changes the entire story. But I feel that the story is getting better and better and more complex but still the same flare of Isayama Hajime's story telling.

THEY KEPT THE COLOR BLUE FOR MARLEY'S UNIFORMS I'M SO HAPPY

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 269 Responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated. See you again in a few days!

#snk spoilers #snk s3 #snk poll #snk polls #poll results

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robininthelabyrinth · 5 years

Text

Eyestealer 7 - ao3 link

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Senju Hashirama & Senju Tobirama (mostly gen, hints of other relationships)

Summary: Hashirama really doesn’t approve of the thoughtful way his father looks at his younger brother’s bright red eyes. He’s sure it doesn’t mean anything good for anyone.

He’s right.

——————————————————————————————

Hashirama actually spends the entirety of the afternoon where everything changes unconscious, which means he doesn’t know that everything has changed until significantly later.

Though he still finds out before just about anybody else.

“You’re such an idiot,” Tobirama tells him, afterwards, furious and elbow-deep in Hashirama’s stomach to rearrange the organs before Hashirama’s ridiculously accelerated healing fixes them into all the wrong places. “You should have dodged that.”

“I meant to,” Hashirama moans. Tobirama’s a great healer, even if he doubts his own abilities – just because Hashirama has the spare chakra that lets him skip the details in favor of brute-forcing the body’s own healing doesn’t actually make him better at fixing things. Tobirama’s the detail expert, the one who studied anatomy (mostly on corpses, which, ick!); if there’s something wrong on the inside, he’s the one to go to. Which is why Hashirama almost invariably does. “I just – if I’d dodged, they would’ve gotten the kids.”

“The kids are fully grown shinobi.”

“Sixteen’s too young to die.”

“You started with six being too young to die,” Tobirama grumbles. “Then it was ten. Now it’s sixteen...you do realize that if we never let any shinobi fight, ever, we’re going to run out of money pretty fast?”

He doesn’t object any further, though, which says everything Hashirama needs to know.

After Hashirama's gotten all fixed up – his stomach doesn’t even have a scar on it, of course, his healing never leaves him scars in a way that would be frankly a little embarrassing for a shinobi of his age if he didn’t have the healing to explain it away, but hilariously enough even Tobirama, who knows his healing factor better than anyone else, will sometimes, when he's very drunk, start petting Hashirama’s skin and marveling at how soft and unbroken it is – he grins at Tobirama and stretches ostentatiously. “See, all fine. No harm done, right?”

“Other than the years the stress has taken off my life, you mean?”

“Awww, Tobirama…”

“There – is something else,” Tobirama says, and Hashirama knew he’d been more angry and stressed than normal. Sure, it'd been a bad injury - most shinobi did not survive being disemboweled, which is what made this particular clan's signature move particularly notorious - and, yes, even Hashirama with his ridiculous advantages just barely squeaked through without dying, a risk he'd known he was taking when he'd leapt forward to take the blow, but even so, Tobirama was unusually upset.

Something was definitely up.

"Oh?" he asks, thinking in terms of strategy and tactics. Had he missed something? "What?"

“I had to use the Sharingan to end the fight quickly.”

Hashirama blinks, taken aback. He hadn’t realized the fight had gone that badly.

“Your guts were everywhere,” Tobirama says, averting his eyes to the floor. “How was I to know it wasn’t as bad as it looked?”

It probably was as bad as it looked, but, well, they’re not the two best healers in Fire Country for nothing.

(Sometimes Hashirama wonders if that medic knew what he was starting when he taught Hashirama that first jutsu, but no – back then no one even knew about the Mokuton, much less about Hashirama’s tendency to get hyperfixated on certain subjects that he then masters to an unnecessarily thorough degree.)

“Okay,” Hashirama says. "...so?"

Tobirama glares at him.

Hashirama holds up his hands. "Seriously!" he says, shrugging. He can't quite figure out why Tobirama is so stressed about it. Sure, he hates breaking his promise not to actively use his eyes, but he’d always left the door open for emergency situations, which this seems to have been. “The kids were unconscious at the time, so they didn’t see, and you killed all the attackers. So what’s the problem? If nobody sees it happen, it's the same as if it hasn't happened.”

Hashirama is a great believer in trees falling in a forest being functionally noiseless as long as no one is there to hear it. Tobirama, on the other hand, seems to think that things matter just for the principle, which is obviously ridiculous.

Tobirama makes a face at him, knowing exactly where Hashirama's thoughts are going. “Yes, well, even by your standards it was a problem: I think someone was watching.”

“Someone? Unspecified? The finest sensor in all the land can’t tell me who?”

“I was busy! They were hiding their chakra – fairly effectively, in fact –”

Pretty high praise from Tobirama.

“While I still knew they were there, of course, I didn’t think they were important enough to check out since they didn’t seem to have any intention of participating. You know I was already running on three days of no sleep before we were even ambushed! And once I was forced to use the Sharingan to counter those chakra-mangling techniques of theirs - whoever first decided to invent a method of using chakra to disembowel people should be lit on fire and not put out - I barely had enough chakra to drag you back here and heal you.”

“…Tobirama.”

“What?”

“Are you saying you left the kids behind? Unconscious?”

“I sent some people go pick them up once I got back; they’re fine. I wouldn’t have if there’d been any risk.”

Hashirama rolls his eyes.

Tobirama scowls at him. “Can you focus on the more important question here?”

“I don’t think it is more important,” Hashirama says, shrugging again. Tobirama was always more of a worrier than Hashirama has ever been. “Even if this mysterious watcher did see you, which you don’t know for sure, what’s he or she or they going to say about it? And to who? Oh, yes, I'm just going to walk into a nearby tavern and announce to all and sundry that the White Demon of the Senju has a Sharingan; that's a sound plan. Let him! No one’ll believe him, not in a million years."

"But -"

"Tobirama. There was only one watcher, right?”

“Yes, just one.”

“See? It’s fine. No external verification, no problem. Even if they somehow convince themselves that’s really what they saw happening rather than it being, I don't know, a trick of the light, they’ll probably assume they got caught in a particularly strange genjutsu.”

It takes some more convincing, but eventually Tobirama calms down.

So, really, it's no big deal.

Hashirama would have happily forgotten all about it - the kids certainly seem inclined to, since no one really enjoys thinking about disembowelment - except that Tobirama promptly leaps on the whole entire fiasco ans an excuse to insist that Hashirama practice being subtle more.

Hashirama protests.

Tobirama refuses to yield, justifying his stubbornness on the basis it was Hashirama's fault the rescue mission turned into such a disaster.

Hashirama would probably be on stronger ground if that wasn't, well, true.

Not that stops him from trying to get out of it.

Still, after the first five excuses Hashirama tries don’t work, he agrees.

That’s probably why he’s lazily practicing his ‘pretending to be a tree’ skill by the riverbank a week later when Madara and Izuna come out of nowhere.

Not good.

Madara he could get away with, sure, but with Izuna around? No thanks.

He doesn't like those odds - he'll make it out alive, more than likely, but Madara fights like he's possessed by a demon when his brother is around, and Izuna's distaste for the Senju (and for Hashirama personally, which Hashirama has never really understood but which Tobirama, sighing, explains to him is probably misplaced jealousy) is strong enough that he would probably pick a fight just for the principle of it.

And Hashirama did promise Tobirama that he'd at least try to avoid getting disemboweled again until everyone has gotten over the trauma of last time.

Hashirama very hastily makes himself a better pretend tree.

Amazingly enough, it actually seems to work, but probably only because Madara is so clearly distracted.

(Hashirama has never been able to hide from Madara when he's paying attention, and the reverse is true. He's not sure why that is - they're both above-average in sensing henges and clones and negative intent, yes, but people far less skilled than Madara have gotten by Hashirama before and he knows that the same is true for Madara. But each other? They always know if it's the real one.)

Still, Madara's entire focus is on the river and his brother, and he walks right by Hashirama who, in retrospect, should probably have stuck to the Senju side of the river for his practice session.

He does note that Madara’s biting his nails again, which he only does when he’s nervous.

“Put your gloves back on and stop that,” Izuna tells him, using a voice that sounded remarkably like Tobirama's own long-suffering tone. “Listen, okay, I dragged you all the way out here for a reason. I want answers.”

Madara pauses in the middle of putting on his gloves. “Answers?” he squeaks, then, with a force of will, swallows and says in a more normal voice, “To what?”

Izuna rolls his eyes. “Right. And that wasn’t suspicious at all, aniki. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Madara grumbles and sits down by the riverbank. Hashirama is only three trees back from them.

If he just stays quiet and carefully avoids listening to their conversation, they might not notice him. He furiously thinks tree-like thoughts to avoid being sensed and then shortly thereafter dealing with attempted murder, which would undoubtedly spoil a very pleasant afternoon.

Water, soil, sunlight. Water, soil, sunlight. Water, soil, sunlight –

“I find myself facing something of a minor dilemma,” Madara says.

Screw sunlight, he wants to hear this.

(Tobirama says that Hashirama is a gossip. Hashirama says that shinobi are trained in information collection and that he's simply exercising his skills. Tobirama, at that point, rolls his eyes and says that if that were true, Hashirama would be more inclined to collect information that was actually useful rather than obtaining an encyclopedic understanding of who is sleeping with who at any given moment. Hashirama then claims that that information could one day prove useful, and in reply Tobirama tells him to prove it. They've had this exact discussion at least thirteen times and they don't seem to have tired of it yet.)

“You? A dilemma? You don’t say; I would never have guessed,” Izuna sniffs, then grins when Madara glares at him. “Yeah, yeah, you've been acting weird; I figured it was something like that. But what is it?”

Madara fidgets for a moment. “I saw something,” he says. “It was – a surprise.”

Izuna arches his eyebrows.

Hashirama mentally urges Madara to get on with it already.

“…I think someone in our clan might have raped somebody.”

Whoa.

“What?” Izuna says, sitting straight up. “Who?! When?”

“No, I mean, I don’t have proof! And I don’t know who. I just think it’s possible it might have happened, if you know what I mean.”

Izuna clearly does from the scowl on his face, although Hashirama doesn’t get it. That seems like a fairly yes-or-no answer in his mind - how in the world could someone walk in on a scene that makes them think rape was involved and not know? Hashirama would think that it'd be fairly obvious given what the scene in question must have been.

“Shit," Izuna says.

"No kidding."

"What makes you think it wasn’t consensual?” Izuna asks, which seems like a bullshit question to ask, in Hashirama’s opinion. Madara's impulsive, but he wouldn't leap to conclusions like that, surely.

Madara grimaces. “Possible, but the circumstances make it seem - unlikely. Besides, if it was, it wouldn’t be a problem, would it? We’d already know.”

Huh?

“Great," Izuna says. "Just – great. That's fucking great. Could it be…?”

“I really don’t think so, and anyway we haven’t had any, uh, instances recently. Not untraced ones.”

“Hn, fine, point taken. Is this something we could solve by…?”

“No.”

“We have to do something. If someone else figures it out –”

“There’s no immediate issue,” Madara says, holding up his hands when Izuna glares at him. “The situation is contained for now. But it’s…more complicated than you might think.”

“It doesn’t matter if it's complicated,” Izuna says firmly. “We're the clan heads, Madara. We have responsibilities. You need to deal with this. One way – or the other.”

“I know, I know, and I will,” Madara says, but he looks even more distressed than before. “Just – I don’t know. Whatever. I’ll find a way to deal with it. Pick another subject.”

A long, somewhat judgmental pause.

Hashirama wiggles an overly inquisitive squirrel off one of his branches.

“I’ve found a really great new sword technique,” Izuna finally offers. “Next time I meet Tobirama in battle, I’ll be able to skewer –”

“No!” Madara yelps.

Izuna stares at him.

Madara winces. “Let’s not discuss that here, okay? Too close to Senju lands. Someone could be listening.”

Don’t be ridiculous. No one’s listening. Hashirama’s just a tree. A nice, innocent beech of a tree.

Heh.

“Did you hear that?” Izuna asks, frowning and looking around. “It sounded like giggling.”

Oops.

...maybe Tobirama has a point about Hashirama not being good at subtlety.

Madara’s frowning now, too, and, yep, he’s going to start sensing any minute so clearly the only thing to do is to make the trees on the other side of the river start swaying pointedly until they catch Madara's attention.

"What is happening," Izuna says flatly.

“Just Hashirama. In a good mood, apparently, if his emotions are reaching the riverbank,” Madara says, seeing the trees wiggle in a happy dance. Hashirama can get a whole set to do it in time now but Madara doesn't seem that impressed, rolling his eyes, though his lips also quirk up a bit, making him look fond. “Don't pay him any mind, he just does things like that."

"I can't believe you actually like that man. He's an idiot!"

"I'm not disagreeing," Madara says dryly. "And yet the fact remains that I do like him. And be sure to remember that that 'idiot' could probably wipe out an entire unwary clan by himself if he wanted to. We should go.”

Hashirama’s sad to see them go, but it’s better than being found out eavesdropping on them.

…huh. If he really focused on this whole tree disguise thing, he might really be able to drop eaves on them. That would be hilarious.

Also, Madara would get incredibly paranoid, which would be even more hilarious.

He does wonder a little what they were talking about, that they felt the need to speak so obliquely even when they thought they were alone.

Uchiha clan business, undoubtedly. Nothing that concerns him.

#senju hashirama #uchiha madara #senju tobirama #uchiha izuna #my fic #eyestealer

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teastainsandcookiecrumbs · 5 years

Text

Unmasked

Civilization ceased. Humans destroyed all other living things and destroyed themselves in the process. In the midst of the turmoil, a new creature, a mask-shaped alien, emerged and created a symbiotic relationship with man. Seventy-five years past since the friendship was formed. At the age of twelve, youths were given a half-mask to wear, and at age 18, were given the remaining half. But cracks began to form in the new regime. A group of people calling themselves the Watchers rejected the monotonous way of life caused by the masks. This is the story of two young individuals, brother and sister, who shook the world to its roots with their love for each other and just how far they would go to protect their sibling.

Hunter

I watch my sister fight a battle for her life. If only I could do something to help her. But there’s nothing I can do. I’m forced to just stay at her bedside and see if I can get Sierra to eat something. Except for the teensy ration I get for the both of us, there’s not much to eat. Not with Leader reserving most of the crop for next year. Oh sure, he claims we have more food than ever before, but it’s hard to believe that when you’re watching your little sister, the apple of your eye, your pride and joy, slowly shrivel and die. I grasp her hand and gently stroke her fiery curls. Why our parents don’t want anything to do with Sierra, I’ll never know. The girl’s a genius. Before she got sick, I used to take her to my engineering class since she was so bored in her normal classes. The gal could build a structure out of twigs and have it be as solid as the metal we usually worked with. My friends are always begging me to bring her on our outings since she is so popular. But now I wasn’t even sure whether my little Vixen would ever feel the sun on her face again.

I hear a knock on the door. It creaks open.

“Hey, Hunter. How’s Sierra?” a voice behind asks. I turn around and smile slightly at my friends filing into our clubhouse. We technically aren’t supposed to have clubhouses, but we had one anyway. And since my good-for-nothing parents don’t want anything to do with Sierra, I had to take her here. But I’m almost eighteen: I can apply for my own dwelling once I get my full-mask.

Masks. I hate them. I have seen what they do to people. My friends know it too. So we have made a pact that we’ll only wear them when we need to.

My friends and I call ourselves “the Dryads” since we all had nature names or nicknames. Besides having nature names/nicknames, we all have suffered at the hands of Leader or his cronies.

Cricket was the smallest but could create the prettiest music out of pretty much anything on hand. You could always find her whistling a melody or tapping out a beat. She would set the mood for our meetings. When she really got going, she could create the most complex harmonies I ever heard. When she was five, Cricket’s parents had died, and Leader refused to help Cricket. She, in turn, refused to talk for eight years. But with our help, Cricket found her voice again. She’s now super attached to Leon because he never pushed her to talk. The rest of us say they’re going to get together.

Then there is Willow. Her Dryad name really fit her, because she was the most flexible one in our group. She could fold herself up into the queerest shapes, but she was usually so quiet and embarrassed about her gift. I personally think it’s cool. Her parents don’t think that Willow is all that great and push her around at home. Willow’s parents are second in command to Leader so they enforce everything. And everything has to be perfect. They also fight at her house like crazy. So she bends to hide in really tight and small spots and waits for the storm to blow over. Even though I got detention for a year, I once went over to Willow’s house and punched her parents into next week.

Olive got me out of trouble. She had her name because she was the peacemaker. She always ends up being the mediator for our debates and discussions. We go even further and call her Judge Olive. She has ten younger brothers and she always has to take care of them since her parents live in another city and don’t visit much. Lucky for us, Calico usually babysits them when she’s not training.

Calico doesn't usually attend our meetings or hang out with us. When she isn’t babysitting she’s sparring. Leader had initiated a new program for people who were “warriors”, whatever that meant, and Calico had taken to it tremendously. Most of the other trainees were large and buff. Calico could beat them with both hands tied behind her back. She almost always carried a pair of knives, which were her “weapons”. Her parents had died defending our city, and Calico wanted to follow in their footsteps. She was wicked good and has a wicked sense of humor to boot.

Sorrel was the only one of us to have gone outside the city walls. Like, not to another city, but actually go outside the walls. She always went out in the evenings to collect her precious herbs. She could make the best beverages: something hot that she called ‘T’. But when push came to shove, she was better than any doctor. About five years ago, a great sickness swept through all of our cities. Sorrel’s siblings had fallen sick and, despite all her efforts, they all died. She then completely devoted herself to medicine, not the pills-medicine that Leader gave out that did more harm than good, but real medicine. Which is why I trusted her with Sierra’s life.

Forrest, Ash, Leon, and Wolfe all liked to joke around, but they protected our little group. If another kid dissed us, you could count on the disser having a chipped tooth or a black eye the next day. They especially protected Sierra. Too bad they can’t protect her from this.

“She is better, isn’t she?” Cricket asks as she moves closer to Leon. He puts a protective arm around her. Sorrel opens her ever-present satchel and quickly takes my spot by Sierra.

“Not that I can tell, Cricket,” I sigh, rubbing my face in my hands. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t have enough credits for a doctor, and my parents probably have forgotten that Sierra even exists. Out of sight, out of mind.” Willow comes around and gently takes my hand.

“She will pull out of this. I can feel it,” she says quietly. “Sierra was the only one to actually try and do what I do. She made me laugh.”

Behind me, I can hear Sorrel making her special beverage. “Thanks, Wil --I can’t help but worry about her. Sierra was never that strong.”

“You’re wrong about that,” rumbles Leon. “Whenever I’m at work rebuilding the wall, she comes behind me lugging her own pile of rocks.” He chuckles. “She’s one special gal, Hunter. Too bad your parents can’t see that. I’d like to punch their conceited masks off their conceited faces.”

“How’s Sierra, Doc?” Ash says. I turn to Sorrel and watch her carefully measure out her herbs into some sort of strainer shaped like a pot.

“She’s malnourished, but I think she’ll pull through if she gets something to eat. Something more filling than the potatoes we always have,” she remarks. “I’m making her tea with some chamomile, some oregano, a little eucalyptus, and willow bark, to help her cough. The chamomile is just to disguise the willow bark. It tastes like Leader’s face.”

We laugh at that. It’s a common theory that Leader wore all his masks to disguise his ugly face.

“Hunter?” Sierra croaks. I quickly hurry to the side of her bed. The sight of her pale face streaked with perspiration makes my heart ache.

“I’m here, Vix. What do you need?” I whisper and chaff her freezing hands to warm them.

“Can I have a cuddle?” she whispers.

“Of course, darling. We can cuddle while you drink your medicine. And look, all your friends are here,” I say and gesture to the Dryads.

“Get better soon, Sierra,” Forrest smiles. “Otherwise, I’m gonna be alone in the forge with no one to talk to.”

“I’m working on getting better. It’s much harder than swinging a hammer all day,” Sierra frowns, but I can see the mischievous glint in her dull eyes. “And it’s taxing on the intelligence, unlike forging.”

Forrest staggers backward. “I am wounded by a 5-year-old.” He flexes his muscles. “But at least I get buff.”

Sierra half-heartedly giggles. I can see everyone is trying so hard to cheer her up, but she’s barely five and fighting for her life.

The ladies circle around the bed and I am yanked from Sierra. Ash, Forrest, Leon, and Wolfe all glare at me.

“Sierra can’t keep on like this. She has to eat something nourishing like Doc said, but we don’t got nothing,” Ash hisses.

“We do got a couple friends who can get food for Vixen,” Wolfe whispers, “They call themselves the Watchers.”

I’ve heard about the Watchers. I actually admire them for their courage: Leader is constantly ranting and raving about how evil the Watchers are. But I don’t believe him.

Speak of the devil, a knock sounds on the door. As if on cue, we all slip on our masks and Sorrel hides her T-making things. I motion for Wolfe to open the door. He does so, and who should walk in but Leader. His hair is a dirty white, and he wears long black robes that hide the form of his true body. He also wears a stack of masks: all the mask-halves and full masks waiting to be given to poor schmucks like us. If I squint, I'm pretty sure I can spot my own mask half.

“Ah, hello, my dears. How is poor Sarah?” he almost croons. I grimace.

“Her name is Sierra and she’s doing badly, thanks for asking,” I almost growl. What wouldn’t I give to punch his conceited masks off his conceited face. Leader waves his hand as if to ward off a bad odor.

“That’s what I said. My dear son,”

“Don’t. Call. me. son,” I growl emphasizing every word. Leader ignored me.

“May I have a word with you outside, my dear boy?” I huff in protest, but Forrest motions that they’ll protect Sierra. I follow Leader outside and glare at his protectors. If they weren’t there, I’d probably punch him for causing my sister to sicken.

“I know Sarah-”

“It’s Sierra,” I snarl and clench my fists. I wish the guys were here to back me up.

“That’s what I said. I know she’s not doing very well, but I guarantee she will get better. You know the majority of this year's crop is being saved for replanting next year, for more prosperity in the future. And I believe the life of one little girl is a proper sacrifice for the lives of millions,” Leader says and places his cold clammy hand on my shoulder. “But I promise, if she survives, then I will know that she is worth the food she eats.” Leader pats my head like I’m three. “This was a good talk, son.”

“I’m not your son,” I hiss. And if you think the life of my sister can be fixed in your formulated phrases, then you must be out of you gosh dang mind. I think furiously.

Leader saunters away, his guards forming a box around him. I march back inside our clubhouse, rip off my mask and whisper furiously to the guys, “Where can I meet them, these Watchers?”

Wolfe and Ash both lead me through the streets. The other Dryads are back at our clubhouse, taking care of my Vixen. Ever since Leader’s visit a week ago, Sierra had progressively gone downhill despite all of Sorrel’s treatments and T. The moon lights the streets with an unearthly glow, turning every corner and shadow into a ghoulish copy of itself. They stop in front of a dark staircase leading into the ground.

“This is it,” whispers Wolfe, “The entrance to the Watchers.”

I gulp. I wasn’t ready for this. But Sierra. My Vixen. I take a deep breath to settle my nerves. “I’m ready. You guys coming?”

“Duh,” Ash grins slightly. But then he frowns. “But you’re doing the actual talking.”

I roll my eyes and smile. “Fraidy-cat.”

“Just don’t let Calico hear you. She’d hang you from the rafters by your pants,” Wolfe laughs. He made the mistake of teasing Calico and she responded by leaving him hanging from the rafters by his underwear.

“I thought it was from your underpants,” I tease him. He blushes.

“She had me, like, backed into a corner,” Wolfe protests.

“Yeah, keep ranting, Wolfe. We all know Cali whipped your butt,” Ash laughs. “Are we gonna do this or what?”

Wolfe and I nod. Our trio cautiously walks toward the stairs.

“That was really funny, Wolfe. You squealed for hours,” a voice behind us giggles. We tense. Someone steps into the small beam of light from the moon and us guys relax, if only slightly. Only Calico. But when dealing with Cali, you always stay on your toes: otherwise, you may end up missing your pants and dangling from the rafters (cough, Wolfe, cough).

She’s wearing all black with her red and ebony hair caught up in a high ponytail. Her belt is an arsenal: her two daggers hanging from their sheaths, a long coiled whip, and other things I can’t distinguish. She holds a long metal staff in her hands which she’s twirling. “So you boys thought that you could leave me stranded with Vixen coughing her little lungs out and burning with fever while you went out and stole food for her. Classic men.”

“Umm…” Wolfe stammers. She brushes him aside.

“Let’s just get this over with. I have an early training session tomorrow.”

I glance at Ash and chuckle. This is classic Cali. Act now, ask questions later. “Let’s go,” I say. Ash, Wolfe and I follow Cali. How bad could this mission go?

We creep down the stairs where an iron-bound door stoically sits. It seems both aware and unaware that it is the entryway to rebellion and freedom. I smirk to myself. Leader would kill if he found out we knew where this was. Ash whispered something and the door creaks open. We carefully step in and the door slams shut behind us. A person in a long black robe motions for us to follow him. We do so cautiously. Cali just swings her staff and checks her many gizmos and pockets on her belt. Ash and Wolfe surge forward, leaving me with Cali. I cough nervously. “So, Cali, how have you been?”

Cali rolls her eyes and continues to secure her pouches. “Not too shabby. I’ve been promoted at training.”

“Oh, congrats on your promotion.” I shiver. Our voices echo eerily off the walls. I’m suddenly not too sure whether this is actually safe. But Sierra will die without this food. But spending quality time with Cali almost always ends up with you missing your pants and a dagger at your neck. “And Cali, I’ve been meaning to ask you: why don’t you ever wear your mask?” It’s true: Calico never wore her mask, not even when Leader was around. But every so often, she wore the characteristic blank look that the masks gave adults.

“That’s classified,” Calico snaps. “Never ask me about that ever again. Not now, not ever, or you’ll be missing more than your pants.” She pulls her knife out and makes a slitting motion across her neck. I gulp. Lucky for me, before Cali can act on that conviction, we emerge into a large room at least ten times as big as our clubhouse. It is filled with people of every shape, size, and age. Branched from the main room is lots of tunnels that lead to wherever. Ash and Wolfe lead the way to a tall brunette man who has an air of authority and his back to us. I take a deep breath and tap him on the shoulder.

“Pardon me, sir, are you the Leader of the Watchers, sir?” I ask nervously. He turns around and smiles gently at me.

“Yes. What can I do to help you, young man?” he says. Suddenly something inside me breaks. I start spilling everything, how my little sister was super sick and Leader won’t help and how she needs food. I stop and glance at my companions and they look stunned. I’m not normally one to just disclose anything without cause, but my little sister is dying. I don’t know if even with the food she’ll live, and if she dies, then I have nothing else to live for. Except for Leader’s absolute destruction for causing my little sister to die. The man just smiles and hands me a scrap of cloth. I realize I’ve got tears running down my cheeks.

“My name is Chase, and I’m the head of the Watchers,” he says kindly, “And, fortunately for you, we’ve got a team heading to Leader’s dwelling in a couple hours. You can join them or you can wait for them to come back, which should be early in the morning.”

“Wait, you regularly raid Leader? What about his cronies or his counterparts in other cities?” Calico jumps in. She seems jumpy and nervous and her hands are trembling. That’s enough to put me on edge: if invincible Calico was nervous and terrified, then I should be screwed. But surprisingly, I’m only slightly nervous.

“We have other branches in the other cities. And we have word that Leader has one of our top agents, so it'll be easy to get food for your little sister,” Chase says, “and, young lady, there's a restroom in the very back if you need it.” Cali nods gratefully and dashes off, a hand over her mouth. “We’ll come find you when the team’s ready to go, alright?” I nod and quickly head the way Cali went. Ash and Wolfe head off somewhere. But Cali looked positively sick like she was going to hurl. I feel like I need to check on her, make sure she’s okay.

There are two doors in the back, one marked “Ladies” and the other “Gentlemen”. I can hear Cali in the “Ladies” one, and she doesn’t sound well at all. On an impulse, I duck into the Ladies room and bar the door shut.

There are individual stalls that hide the toilets: all of the five doors are partially open except for one. I can hear Cali hurling and muttering to herself, an argument between Cali and Cali. And neither side is gaining advantage.

I gently rap on the door. “Cali? You okay?” I say quietly. I hear a flush and Cali stumbles out. She quickly wAshes her face then turns to face me. Surprisingly, the first thing she whispers is “Can you keep a secret?” I nod and seal my lips. Cali presses herself against the wall and slides to the floor. I crouch next to her. With a trembling hand, she pulls something out of her belt, grabs my hand, and presses the item in her hand into mine. “Hunter, you can't tell anyone what I'm gonna tell you, not even Wolfe,” she breathes. I open my hand and examine the white pills in my palm.

“Cali, what are these?” I ask quietly.

“You asked me why I don't wear a mask. I'm the first of a new kind of fighting machine. I don't wear a mask because I swallow it. Leader has somehow ground my mask into a powder and now I have to take one once a day,” Cali breaths, “I forgot today’s dose. But I can't take it because the Watchers will know. But I have to because Leader will know if I don't. But I can't, but I have to, but I can't!” Cali groans in frustration and grips the edge of ponytail. “What am I supposed to do, Hunter?”

I'm still trying to process everything. Calico is an experiment? One of Leader’s projects? She is being tortured under my nose? “I don’t know Cali. Maybe you can talk to Chase? He seems helpful,” I whisper.

“I can't talk to him. I represent everything the Watchers are against. And if Leader catches wind that I’ve seen where the Watchers are based, then everything is screwed,” Cali moans. She presses her hands against her temples. I try and comfort her as best as I can, but nothing I do seems to help. Suddenly she bolts upright. "I've got it! Hydrochaastibscentane! All I need is a syringe and a needle!" She starts digging in her belt.

"Um, Cali? What's hydrocha-, hydrocha-, I can't even say it." I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Whatever it is, what does it do?"

"It's an amnesia inducing drug, more commonly known as Wish. We are instructed to always keep a dose on use in case of capture. But only as a last resort," Cali explains. "I haven't used my dose, so if I get captured, I can use it and forget any and all information about the Watchers." She seems oddly happy about that possibility. She pulls a blue liquid, a syringe and a needle from her belt and gingerly preps the syringe. She stashes the syringe now full of blue liquid in her belt. She glares at me. "If you tell, I will find you. And I will make you suffer. Capeesh?" I nod and quickly get out of there. Cali needs her space or she's liable to take her stress on the nearest punching bag.

Ash, Wolfe and I hang together while waiting for the party to head out. Cali joins us a while later, and then teases/flirts with Wolfe. Ash and I just elbow each other and snicker under our breath.

After what seemed like an eternity, the party is ready to go. I strap on my borrowed gear, smear soot and grease on my face, and follow the party down a tunnel. Calico ducks in and out of the shadows almost like her namesake. I shiver. I have a very bad feeling that something was going to go very wrong tonight.

We get into the building easily enough. Because Cali knew where everything was, it was child's play to sneak into the food storage and fill our bags to the brim with food. More food than I had ever seen in one place. And the variety. I'll admit that we may have tasted some, just to see what kind of luxury Leader was living in. Fruits that taste like sunshine, leafy greens that taste like shame, nuts that taste like nothing I could describe. Cali helped us identify some of the mysterious things, like a weird yellow boomerang fruit that was called a banana. It was mild in taste, but tasted like sweet rain. But mostly we just stuff our bags and our faces. A guy dressed like us comes and and motions that we need to get out of there. We follow hesitantly. We rejoin the main group and quickly maneuver through the twisted halls.

“Isn’t this great?” Calico whispers excitedly, “It’s like we’re in a movie or something!” I glance at her confused.

“What’s a movie?” She groans and buries her face in her hands.

“You’re hopeless.”

Suddenly, an alarm blares and everything became blurred. I saw Cali rushing forward and whipping the security guards’ butts, literally and figuratively. She yelled at us to go on with our her. I will always remember her with her staff and whip and dancing in and out of the fray. She may have been one girl, but she was more than a match for the twenty guards she fought. But then something went wrong. Her staff broke, more guards came, her whip was yanked out of her hands, something. She cursed and drew her daggers. Then we ran like cowards. And left Cali like she told us to. We burst into the warehouse, panting, dripping, sobbing. Chase comes over and hands us a small cartridge.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he whispers, “But you three need to go. It’s nearly daybreak.” I nod and motion for Ash and Wolfe to follow me. We pause for a moment outside the Watchers’ hideout, the reality of what happened hitting us for the first time. In aIl probability, Cali died for us.

I turn to Wolfe, who has tears running down his face. “I never got to tell her,” he whispers. “I never got to tell her I loved her.”

I awkwardly try and comfort him. “Don’t worry, man. If anyone can get out of there, it’s Calico.”

“She is most likely the bravest one of us,” Ash says and wipes his eyes on his shirt. “Come on. Sierra will need this.” Wolfe and I nodded and we plod back to our clubhouse, each mourning Cali in our own way.

The food did wonders for Sierra. After a couple of weeks, she’s no worse for wear. A little paler, maybe, but fine. Cali still hasn’t shown up, and Ash and Wolfe have joined the Watchers for good. I watch Sierra play with Olive and Willow and smile. This was my sister, Sierra. Sierra I promise, I will never leave you. I promise myself. I see Leader across the stretch of grass and I stand up. I glare at him and cross my arms. Leader just looks at Sierra and then moves on.

Scratch that. Sierra, I promise that I will never leave you, and I will always protect you.

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