#i think its the antidepressants

[nashvillethotchicken]

Lestat talking about Louis

#everything here is about him except louis dont take his antidepressants he just find a new person to be obsessed with #interview with the vampire #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #i also font think lestat has the good sense to shut the fuck up when threatened in such a manner but evry dog has its day #i think the image of ldpdl dry swallowing 1 1600 mg ibuprofen on an empty stomach makes the most sense in the history of the world #ldpdl is the type of girl to only eat/drink 1 large iced coffee 2 rats and a pack of nicorette for their whole days meal and laugh about it #like girl its not funny you fainted 3 times last week go eat a chicken biscuit or smth #cw for disordered eating patterns #cw eating problems

[transmascnaotoshirogane]

hey! if you take sertraline like we do, remember to drink more than usual this summer!! it makes you pretty dehydrated pretty fast!! stay safe!!

#the rainbow twinks #rainbow ramblings #hunter‚ dice + baby #sertraline #its also called zoloft i think so just incase it is; #zoloft #antidepressants #medication

[lolexjpg]

overwhelmed with guilt that i gave my trans friend a can of grapefruit flavored sparkling water and it did not occur to me until hours later that since grapefruit interacts badly w/ birth control it might interact badly with hrt (it does) i feel soooooooooooooo bad

#like. it CANT be that harmful she only drank half of it its mostly water anyway 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i feel so bad even though i know no one is gonna be mad at me for something soooooooo unintentional #she speaks #AND IDK IF SHES ON ANY ANTIDEPRESSANTS. I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF IT. like its not my job to monitor that but OH MY GOD

[backofthebookshelf]

sitting here thinking, I don't know how to explain this to people but I really want to want things, I want to want to do things, I want to care about my projects, but I feel like I can't, not just that it doesn't come naturally but that if I try too hard I'll break something, like I've got the flu but I'm not sick I'm just exhausted: .......oh right I'm mentally ill

#it's weird because it's like the therapy has finally done its job #i don't think i'm a bad person for this #i don't think i did something to deserve it #i don't even think i'm doing anything wrong for once #i just feel Bad and it won't stop #don't worry i'm on antidepressants #just waiting for them to kick in

[silentlycrazy]

I really hate that my pharmacy is constantly shocked that I need my monthly prescription every month. Or that I need needles AND syringes to do an injection. Or that I get upset when I'm a week late on my meds and they still can only shrug and say "we might get it tomorrow". But my doctors are mad at me that my hormones are constantly in flux because who tf knows when I'll be allowed to take my meds regularly.

#cvs pharmacy #trans healthcare #im so tired #im gonna start menstruating again #which happens like every three months because of this #my body and my brain have no fight anymore #why is it so hard to just get medicine #they keep canceling one or both of my antidepressant prescriptions too #i have a 40 mg for everyday and a 10mg for as needed and its a mystery which one will actually be given to me each month #idk how they think someone prescribed 50mg daily can go a month doing 10mg daily but maybe they just hope i kms #honestly they probably wont have to wait much longer

[caffeinatedopossum]

Taking antidepressants not to cure me but to experience depression in a completely new way

#this is a joke but also real. the antidepressants are making depressed in new ways #because im finally able to focus on other issues #its just theres a lot of issues. like A LOT. and i gotta work my way throught #the layers #but the meds help me think that i can

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

you're already sick of hearing the "I'm pretty sure I have depression but no one believes me :/" so how about we mix it up a bit with the brand new "I'm pretty sure I don't have depression but no one fucking believes me ;-;"

#me: mom I don't think I have depression #my mom: you literally take antidepressants #which. first of all. I'm actually not taking them regularly so jokes on you #second of all. I do not have a counter argument to that. BUT I STILL DONT THINK ITS DEPRESSION OK

[cookiecomics]

.

#its probably because i got a double dose of antidepressants but i need to vent #i'm tired of feeling tired #i don't even know concretely what i want to talk about #but the latest reblogs have been on my mind alot #i don't think the past year would have affected me as much as it had if it wasn't for the shunning and silence that #that comes with talking about microaggressions and racism in fandoms #its one thing to have a bad experience with a few people #its another when most of the people you knew just watched it happened #i know people dont believe ne #its easier to say im the 'aggressive one' #its just sad because i don't even have to be black online #im sad i feel like i have to choose #but the fandom was the first time i had so many nonblack friends at once #and i regret it so much #funny enough my dad always warns me every year about that kind of stuff #about the importance of keeping your distance from non-black folks #because of how quickly they turn on u when you're labelled difficult #he told me that again yesterday and he has no idea any of this stuff happened #that im on antidepressants now because i didn't listen to him #needless to say the second i finish my fic i don't want anything to do with p5 again #the only reason ive even continued is cause i love my story so much #i dont see the point in putting so much of my heart out in a fandom not safe for black folks #then again what fandom even is #delete later

[panharmonium]

i’m re-watching house md right now and i can’t stop thinking about how glad i am that i originally watched it fifteen years ago when fandom still lived on lj, because if it were airing nowadays in this particular fandom culture i don’t think i would survive the experience

#can you imagine #every single character would be put on trial for war crimes every week #like #remember when wilson and cuddy lied to house about him curing that guy bc he had no medical reason to do what he did and #they were afraid he was going to kill someone next time #or when house dosed wilson with amphetamines to prove wilson was taking antidepressants #or secretly deleted the voicemail about wilson's new apartment offer because he didn't want wilson to move out #OR WHEN CHASE GAVE THAT DYING CHILD A CHASTE KISS BC SHE WANTED TO KISS A BOY BEFORE SHE DIED #lmao i just #i'm trying to think about which characters fandom would assign to be the 'abusers' and which ones would be the 'victims' and it's just #really highlights what a useless lens that is for experiencing a story #(not like lj didn't have its own bonkers nonsense going on but god. imagine. if house were airing today) #(the psychic damage i would be taking) #house md

[early-october-skies]

Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

#lizzierants #had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly #caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because #theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry #that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing #good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me #someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with #my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am #overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back #this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf #i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec #ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help #and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here #most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much #anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking #terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine #is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because #they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate #this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start #crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3 #i will heal and ill be okay <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated

[haemosexuality]

parents be like, i understand that signs of depression include things like having difficulty leaving the bed/house, general lack of energy, messed up sleep schedule, not eating etc. not my daughter tho she does all that because she wants to and bc shes lazy

#they genuinely think i like living like this. they think i stay in bed all day and dont sleep bc i think thats fun. they think i dont do #activities i promised id to bc im lazy or irresponsible. i dont know if they just like #Know all those things about depression in an intelectual level but cant realize that thats what that is when confronted with how it looks #like in reality #if theyre choosing not to see it bc its easier to deal w me in their heads if im just lazy #if theyre just... dumb and blind #or if they think the few months where i was taking antidepressants after my half baked sui attempt cured me forever #idk #but i dont have the courage or energy to break it to them (again) so ig we're just waiting until i get so bad i blows up (again)

[hellstreak]

“melon is the cheap fruit they put in fruit salads”

Fuck you. A good cantaloupe is GODS GIFT TO THIS EARTH

Cantaloupe is an absolute banger fruit and I am TIRED OF PRETENDING IT ISNT

#Except like the unsweet unripe cantaloupe #its not even that bad it’s just disappointing #its like biting into what you think is icecream and it’s actually mediocre yogurt #like it’s fine I’ll eat it but I was so excited #because good cantaloupe is better than all the antidepressants I’ve been on

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 331

learn from my mistakes, yall.

#day 331 #year 3 #it me #cw drugs #i mean. not like illicit anything im just having Prescription Difficulties #anyway i will be picking them up tomorrow morning BUT missing like even one dose is such a fucking wild sensation #like everything just gets shakey af it feels like my brain is shaking but also all of my limbs #which is buckwild! because it's an antianxiety/antidepressant u dont think about it affecting anything physical #but like my mood is fine its just my body thats like hey. who turned off the brain chemistry.

[smute]

approximately once a month ill get really anxious about the state of the world and my life and family and the future and the self doubt will hit me like a train and suddenly ill be questioning all of my plans and telling myself that i need to stop fucking around and get a proper adult job right now at eleven pee em on a thursday and then ill spend a few hours doomscrolling on indeed dot com more out of guilt than anything else only to realize that the job that will allow me to go the next 5 years without wanting to put a bullet through my head hasnt been invented yet so whats the point of anything really and i always arrive at the same conclusion namely that since all hope is lost anyway i might as well stick with what i really want to do no matter how starry-eyed or economically unwise it may be which isn't the soundest logic but also difficult to argue against and every time i come out of the cycle with a little less faith in myself and no helpful insights whatsoever and i just wonder how many more times i can go through this routine before i give up on my so-called """dreams""" (yuck) for good.

#& #its literally the choice between #personal fulfillment #and a modicum of financial security and personal freedom #like. one is worth very little without the other #but also #i dont have a great shot at either #lmao #theres a good chance ill be both poor and unfulfilled #so why dont i just lie down in the soft brown earth with the grasses waving above my head and listen to the silence (TM) #AND THEN #i remember whats going on in the world #and wonder if i have any reason to complain at all #so anyway i think ill ask my doc about antidepressants #not to be cute etc #make that one helpful insight i guess #deep sigh

[mihai-florescu]

Tumblr should sponsor me and the mutuals to go to a nice museum and brunch together every month. Enrichment for both myself and eichinui. When is joe biden going to do something about this?

#-doesnt live in the usa #-luvs blaming things on joe biden #also yes if youre asking the only day i can rmmbr this year where i fully felt no negative feelings was the day i hanged out with moth #so really its not even just for enrichment i think itd count as antidepressants even