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#so why dont i just lie down in the soft brown earth with the grasses waving above my head and listen to the silence (TM)
smute · 8 months
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approximately once a month ill get really anxious about the state of the world and my life and family and the future and the self doubt will hit me like a train and suddenly ill be questioning all of my plans and telling myself that i need to stop fucking around and get a proper adult job right now at eleven pee em on a thursday and then ill spend a few hours doomscrolling on indeed dot com more out of guilt than anything else only to realize that the job that will allow me to go the next 5 years without wanting to put a bullet through my head hasnt been invented yet so whats the point of anything really and i always arrive at the same conclusion namely that since all hope is lost anyway i might as well stick with what i really want to do no matter how starry-eyed or economically unwise it may be which isn't the soundest logic but also difficult to argue against and every time i come out of the cycle with a little less faith in myself and no helpful insights whatsoever and i just wonder how many more times i can go through this routine before i give up on my so-called """dreams""" (yuck) for good.
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aashxo · 4 years
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Small story : 10/5/20 (Quarantine 2nd month, Mothers day)
Lollipop
I rode on my bicycle to the small forest next to my house. When i reached the forest i dropped my bicycle and ran inside the forest leting my tears fall down my face, as i but on my lip. I ran until my legs gave in and i fell into a small hole of despair. “Do you need any help?” The boy said, stretching his hand out for me to grab it, which i did. His hand rough, but it felt soft to my fingers. He grunted as he pulled me up. “Why is a beautiful girl like you in a forest?” He asked me, as i looked up to look at his face. Eyes of honey and hair as dark as the bark of a tree, all i could think of was who is this god looking at me. Then relisation hit. “Dorian?” I spoke, my voice still sore from the tears, as i saw him flinch as he let go of my hand. “No way. You are Beatrice” He replied a small grin apeared on his face. I couldnt think straight. This was the boy of my dreams. “What are you doing in the forest?” He asked again as he handed me a lolipop from his bag. The flavour explicit, as it melted on my tongue. “I could ask you the same question.” I replied, feeling the puffyness of my eyes. “I was seeing the beauty of the forest. However, why were you crying?” He asked, tilting his head slightly, his tousled hair falling into his eyes, making my cheeks red. “I fear if i tell you the reason i might cry again.” I managed to reply looking at the Moon above us, its bright light blinding me from my tears and sorrow. “We have met, more than once. We are going to meet again. Do not be afraid of me.” He assured as he opened his honey eyes wide enough to see the honestly he was telling. “Dorian.. there is just so much guilt in me. Im the helper but i dont get help in return. Dorian ive done something bad.. im never going to die in peace.” I say as tears roll down my hot cheeks. “I shouldn’t even be talking to you. You are a stranger. You probably think im weird” I say as i see him hesitate to speak. “But we have met before. Like sleeping beauty. Once upon a dream.” He spoke as he hugged me. He smelled like apples and cologne. “‘Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.’A quote by my favourite poet oscar wilde. Death is the most peaceful thing to happen to any living being. No mater what you have done in life, all that matters is if you know your mistake, never make the same mistake, and pay for what wrongs you have done. You need not tell me what mistake you have made. But remember what i said. Never cry over your mistake, if you could change it.” Dorian said as he wiped my tears. I held his hand, as he put his other hand on my cheek, cold to my burning face. “We will meet again. Once upon a Dream.” He said as i closed my eyes letting tears fall again. When i opened them, He was gone, The boy with honey eyes and tree bark hair, his lolipop still in my mouth, almost completely dissolved, vanished, in the darkness of the Forest.
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ekoingskies-blog · 7 years
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Smiletale (An origonal AU by EkoingSkies)
Heya guys! This is my very first Tumbler account and post. I am an Undertale fan and artist, and I’m always coming up with thing AUs. This is the first one I've ever actually shared.This AU is sorta a spin off of Horrortale and Flowerfell, but has its own twist. Without further a due, enjoy! And please do comment ad state you’re opinions. Be honest!
 Smiletale by EkoingSkies 
Part one, The Mother
You see the gaping hole from afar, it seeps into the earth like dark water. Allowing you to see it’s surface, but you would have to get closer in order to look all the way to it’s bottom. Taking a step or two closer, you can see that the hole is much deeper than they all say, that the fall could very well kill you, that is, if you were dumb enough to fall in. Feeling brave, you step closer towards it. One step… two steps more … four… and another five. You are standing almost at the edge now, peering down into the hole. You see a small patch of yellow on the ground below you.
Flowers maybe?
Coming to Mt.Ebott was supposed to be a joke. You had run away from home and found your way to a small town unlike the big bustling city that you grew up in. Almost as soon as you stepped in this town, you heard almost everyone gossiping about a mountain, not far from said town, that supposedly was the entrance to a land of monsters. Or as you  heard of it; the Underground. The Underground was said to be a place where monsters had been banished after losing a war with some  humans... or something like that.  You never caught the details.
Since you had no place to be, and nothing better to do, you figured you would take a look for yourself. It would be nice if monsters really did exist, it'd be even better if they were still were alive now. So look down, in hope seeing one. Although, you don't know what exactly to expect. After all, you’d never taken time to think about theses sorts of things. Just about when you'll be able to eat next, were you were going to sleep, how you'd make money to survive. There hasn’t been much time think about childish things like that. For the most part, you left  those fairy tales and folk lores back home, when you turned thirteen. You are fourteen now, fourteen and a half actually. And you have seen more of the world in almost two years than you ever did in the thirteen years you spent with your parents. No regrets.
You have been sitting by the hole since lunchtime. Its nearly sunset now, but you dont know where else you could possibly go, seeing that you can’t go anywhere else. The ankle high, soft grass glistens in the late noon light. Warmth from the sun comes down on you, making the top of your head warm while the cool breeze weaves in and out of your light brown hair. Only a few clouds scatter here and there, giving the sky effects of being (mostly) clear. Just sitting there isn’t enough for you, you want to be able to feel it all. You imagine reaching into the sky, running your hand through the sky and leaving streaks of various hues in it like it was your very own canvas. You snap back into reality, noticing that your hand really is reaching into the sky. To your own disappointment, your fingertips aren't anywhere close to touching the cloud that is slowly hovering above you. This is why you left fantasies back home… But you suppose its okay to have at least some fun while you're still healthy and young. Besides.. . you didn’t leave everything back home. After all, you still have your hope.
For once, the universe seemed to be right. You hadn’t gotten into anyones way in a long while, and no one has yelled at you. No one has touched you. No one has hurt you. All there is, is peace. Never in your life have you been more happy and felt so alive at the same time. It was exhilarating.
You laugh to yourself, closing your eyes. In those few seconds, you hear crumbling from below. Your hands slip from behind you. And you fall.
It took your breathe away... Literally. You had no idea that you had been sitting so close to the hole in the first place. Maybe if you had, you wouldn't be gushing blood onto the flowers you were sprawled on. You begin to wheeze through clenched teeth. Even that hurts. It feels as if several knives are poking and impaling you from the inside. You slowly open your eyes, they sting as if someone kicked sand in them. The taste of blood lingers in your mouth, you believe that's what is dripping down your chin too. Your entire body aches and burns.But.. you can’t feel your legs at all. You try to wiggle your toes but nothing happens. This worries you. As you try to turn your head to the side, away from the blinding light above you, you jolt. Wincing at this reaction, you  screech like a banshee. The pain is agonizing. Its unbearable. You can't do anything without this shooting pain running through you. You can't even look down at your chest to see how bad it is. But… you think you broke your back, along with a few other bones scattered around in your body.
A high pitched, echoing voice come from beside you. It curses you out, complaining about how you should watch where you fall.
“ You almost crushed me! “ it really expressed the word crushed. Which you found a bit rude, but you were too tired and hurt to argue. The voice sounded annoyed.
“Hey, you stupid Human! Look at me when I’m talking to yo-” It stopped and gasped.
“W-what the hell happened to you?!” The voice sounded frantic,and sickened.
Stupid Human?...
You want so badly to explain what had just happened, to ask to repeat what they just said, incase you heard them wrong. But unlike feeling that the world was just in reach a few minutes ago, you feel like you're being buried alive right now. And with this feeling, comes fear of doing anything that might strain you.
Suddenly, a yellow blur pops up above you. Still, you can't see. You think that blood is getting in your eyes. No, its tears, your tears. You whisper, cracking your voice.
“H..el..p...Me….?” The tears begin rolling down the sides of your face. Your eyes sting again. You feel drowsy, light headed. You want sleep. You sob, every heave stabbing your lungs.You cough up red fluid and watch it splatter into the air slightly, only to land on your shirt and face when it comes down. The blur jumps.
“Oh god. Oh my.. “ It stutters. “Hold on! I'll go get help!”
What if you choke on your own blood before it gets back?
“Don't move!” it told you, probably knowing that you couldn't to begin with.
You lie there for hours it seemed, slowly dying. Then the voice came back with a second one with them. It was the soft, loving voice of a women, who you couldn't see any better than the first smaller voice. But you could make out a large purple and white blur.The two blurs together begin talking amongst themselves , but you can't hear them over the sound of heartbeats. You felt large agil hands lifting you up. You screamed in pain once more before passing out.
You now wake up in a cold sweat, gasping , taking in short breaths at a time. You are… in a bed?.... Staring at a ceiling in a house?... You find that your memory is a bit fuzzy.. And the last thing you can recall clearly was sitting by that hole on Mtt. Ebott. That hole.You fell and- Oh god. Your legs. Can you move them?! Quickly you jolt up,  and try wiggling your toes. A sharp pain shoots up your back, but no were near as bad the way it was earlier. Still, it aches. Thankfully it feels much better now. You watch as all of your toes dance around in place. Your vision is clear now to.
Thank God. You think to yourself, sighing with relief. But…. How in the world did you get here? Where is here?... ust then, you hear that voice again.
“A-ah! You're awake! How do you feel?” You skim the room in search of someone wearing yellow. You don't see anyone. So who was just..
“I'm over here! On the nightstand!” It it called out from beside you. Turning your head to the nightstand, you see a yellow flower sitting in a pot. It had tall, thin blacked out eyes and a mouth in which appeared to have to small pointed teeth when it opened.
“You?” you sound more rude than you mean to be.
“Well, duh. Who else is in here other you and me?” the flower looks at you funny, and turns its head away slightly.
“What?” You ask.
He looks in your direction, but avoids looking directly at you.
“PLEASE, cover yourself when i'm in here.” You look down at yourself, confused. That's when you realize, you're not wearing any cloths. Flustered, you quickly pull the covers over your chest and bury your face in them. How you can get so worked up over a flower seeing your breasts is beyond you, but it feels the same as those naked in school dreams; It makes you want to cover yourself, crawl in a hole, and die. Well, you've already done two of those things, but from you have gathered, you aren't dead. But shouldn't you be?
“We have been properly introduced, have we?” The flower goes on without getting you reply.
“Im Flowey, Flowey the Flower.” he extends a leaf, you hold it carefully and shake it.
“Aren't you going to tell me your name?” Flowey asks.
Oh, right…You think to yourself.
“My name is Frisk.” You smile happily. “Very nice to meet you, Flowey!”
He looks taken aback at this.
“Are you serious?”
You questionably nod.
The flower takes a few second to think, before shrugging his leaves.“In that case, it's nice to meet you too, Frisk.” the flower gives a weak smile in return.
“You know... You fell pretty hard. I'm Surprised that you're even still breathing right now.”
You suddenly remember the fall again.
“Flowey, what happened?” you asked.
“Oh, you mean, how are you not dead? Well…. When I went off to go get help, you were near death. I was shocked that you were alive when i got back. you broke nearly every bone in your body and you were bleeding nonstop too. So anyways, I went to find someone who could use healing magic on you- And…. the goat lady was the only monster I could think of…”
You jump up, holding the covers over you and fall back on the bed due to shooting pain up your spine. You huff and sit up again.
“M-monster?” you wheeze, shocked and in discomfort.
“You mean, they do exist?” you wheeze.
Flowey snorts, “Well, YEAH! What do you think your looking at, some ordinary flower?”
Yes, except for the talking part.
Flowey lets out a sigh, “Welcome to the underground, Frisk. Land of monsters. Good luck ever getting out.” You purposely ignore that last statement.
“Who is this... Goat lady?...” you ask, a bit scared to find out. For all you know it could just be a giant goat.
“The goat lady is the one who fixed you. This is her house. “
You look around.”Its nice.”
Just then, you hear the door handle jiggle and turn. As the door opens, you tall goat women in a dark purple dress with long white sleeves. She doesn't look like a normal goat though… She Has blue eyes and droopy white ears. Her mouth looks a lot like Flowey’s too. She wore a kind smile as she walked into the room.
“Hello, my child!” She sat on the end of the bed, weighing it down a bit.
“Do you feel better?” she asks kindly.
You nod, baffled.
“Wonderful!  I'm so glad!”
“But.. I still feel slightly achey…” you admit.
“I see.. I'm sorry, my child. I wanted to heal you as much as i could.. But using that much magical energy really does take a lot out of me. So i went to rest… If you'd like, I can try one more time.”
She reaches out to you with glowing green magic?... around her hands.
“Oh, you don’t have to…” You say, not wanting her to strain herself.
“Nonsense, this will only take a few minutes….. I am just happy that you are awake. You were out for almost a week… As expected, that fall broke many of your bones. Including your back, ribs, even your arms. I'm surprised that you are not paralyzed right now. I am thankful of that.”
Flowey nods in agreement.
Minutes pass, and you feel no pain, only sore in a few areas.
The goat lady sighs, wiping sweat off her brows.
“That should do it!” She looks at you with warmth in her expression.
“Could you tell me, what is your name, my child?”
You don't hesitate to her the way you did with Flowey.
“My name is Frisk.” You smile.
“Well it's a pleasure to meet you Frisk, my name is Toriel.” She smiles back.
You laugh, grinning “It's nice to meet you too, Toriel!” You are still gripping the covers to cover yourself. Toriel notices this.
“Oh dear, i almost forgot. I have some clothes for you!” A but latte she come into the room with a bundle of cloths.
“I couldn't wash the blood out of your old ones.. So I made you these.” She sets them on the bed.
“Come Flowey, let's allow Frisk to change.” With that, she picks up the pot, and leaves the room, shutting door behind her. You smile to yourself. “Like a mother”.
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