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fishylipsblubblub · 10 months

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The Silent Observer, Chapter 1

When you get hired at El Michoacano, you quickly discover that not all is as it seems...

A/N: This one has been marinating in my google docs for a long ass time because i wasn’t really sure how i felt about the beginning, but i kinda just realized theres no point in writing fanfic if im not gonna post it, so here y’all go. btw i’m planning for this one to be long AF

Pulling out of the McDonalds drive through, I turned onto the road. I tried for a second to open the lid of my coffee, but decided it was a bad idea and set it in the cup holder. I exhaled and gripped the wheel until my knuckles were white. Rain drops pummeled the windshield as I drove onward. The weather was uncharacteristically rainy for New Mexico, but the rain was a welcome sight. The constant heat got on my nerves all the time since I’d came here.

“Hi, my name is y/n l/n,” I practiced. “I’m here for the interview. Yes, I would like some water, thank you. My biggest weakness? I’m too hard working. No, wait, that’s cliche. And not even true. No, my biggest weakness is.. I usually wake up after 12, and employers don’t generally like that.” I heaved an exasperated sigh. “They’re never going to hire me.”

My intention was to collapse my head into the steering wheel dramatically, but instead I hit the horn with my forehead and scared myself. I sat up straight immediately, and timidly waved an apology at the driver next to me who was now giving me a dirty look.

I reached over to the cup holder to grab my coffee without taking my eyes off the road. The rain was unceasing, and I didn’t want to run the risk. Instead of grabbing the coffee, I hit it with my hand and knocked the entire contents onto the back seat and all over my phone. I looked back just in time to see it light up one last time, the screen glitching and malfunctioning. Then, it turned to black, dead.

“Oh, no! Come on, there’s no way.” My lip quivered threateningly, but I took a very deep breath, stopping any tears that might have come. Looking back to the road, I realized I was drifting into the other lane. Without a thought, I swerved, but lost control on the wet road and went straight into the ditch.

My chest slammed into the steering wheel. I sat in the car for a moment, just waiting. I knew there was nothing I could do, and that what’s done is done, but I still waited. Finally, I got out of the car. I was right in front of a small Mexican restaurant called El Michoacano. Maybe I can use their phone, I thought.

When I entered the restaurant, it was almost completely empty. There were three men sitting in the dining room, each at different tables. Two of them looked like gangster types, and one looked like he could possibly be a chef, with his apron. I walked past them and toward the counter. Another man was back in the kitchen, and it looked like he was cooking something but he had stopped when I came in.

The man was tall. His hair was black, with a single streak of silver. He was dressed in the least conspicuous clothing imaginable. A silk button down with some of those pointy leather shoes.

“Excuse me,” I choked, realizing that there were tears falling down my cheeks. He came over and leaned on the counter.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I just ran my car into the ditch outside. Do you think I could use your phone to call a mechanic or something?”

“It’s just back here, in the kitchen. Here, this way,” he said, leading me into the kitchen. When I got to the phone, it was one of those old fashioned wall-mounted things. As I dialed the number, I turned back to lean on the wall. With a full view of the dining room, I saw the gangster’s heads both whip around so that they weren’t looking at me.

With a tow truck on the way, I sighed and wiped the mascara off my cheeks.

“I’m sorry about your car,” the man said.

“It’s okay. Nothing I can do now. Thanks for the phone.”

“Hey, take a seat. I just finished some tacos, you want one?” He asked.

“Yeah, thanks.” I sat down, and he followed with two plates and sat down across from me.

“Rough day? I get it. Eat your taco, it’s getting cold,” he said gesturing at the food in front of you.

“So much for my interview,” I said, swallowing a bite of the taco. “Sorry, ignore me. I haven’t had such a good couple of days. Oh, my name is y/n, by the way.”

“My name is Eduardo. Did you say you were looking for a job?”

“Yes, why?” I asked, looking up from my food.

“I’m looking for a server. You think you might be up for it?” He got up and went over to the kitchen, coming back with a paper.

“Fill this out, and bring it back to me,” he said, giving me the application.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Eduardo.”

“Please, call me Lalo.”

“Thank you, Lalo.”

The moment was almost shattered by a contemptuous gaze that one of the men in the dining room was giving Lalo. He pretended like he didn’t see, and continued.

“I think that’s your truck pulling up.”

***************

It was sort of a plain dress. Black, short sleeved. The skirt went down maybe halfway to my knee. Of course, a small “El Michoacano” was printed over the breast. I flattened the front of my uniform and checked my bag. Yep, I have everything, I thought. Then, I was out the door, down the street, and at the bus stop. My car was taken to the junkyard when I couldn’t pay for the repairs.

“Hey, you made it,” shouted Lalo from the kitchen over the wafting sound of Mexican music. He tossed a towel over his shoulder on his way over to me and turned down the music slightly.

“You excited?”

His enthusiasm was contagious, and I grinned a smile in response.

“Of course I am.”

“Alright, let’s get to it. That guy over there,” he said, pointing at the middle-aged man sitting at a table in the corner. “He’s the chef around here, and honestly, should be training you. But, he doesn’t speak too much english. So, you’re stuck with me.”

“So what should I start with?” I asked, looking around the dining room. It was empty today, excluding the man in the corner.

“I was thinking we’d take a look in the kitchen, see where things are kept. Then, you and I will have a chat about the rules here. You know, it doesn’t usually get too busy around here, so there isn’t much for you to worry about.”

Lalo walked back into the kitchen and showed me the cupboards. He listed off what they contained, and opened some of them to show me.

“The plates and bowls go here,” he said, opening one of them. “Make sure you stack the little bowls on the little bowls and the big ones on the big ones. Don’t mix them.”

“Okay, got it. And the cups..?”

“-Go right here,” he finished swinging another cupboard open. “I don’t expect you to remember all of this. It’s gonna take some time. Don’t hesitate to ask me a question.” He started toward the door to the dining room, tapping my elbow as he passed to tell me to follow. I complied. On the way out, I looked back at the cupboards and silently quizzed myself. Bowls, plates, cups.

“Have a seat,” Lalo said, gesturing toward a chair. I sat down and looked up at him as he sat across from me.

“So you really weren’t lying when you said that it doesn’t get busy in here,” I said looking around at the nearly empty dining room. The man in the corner seemed to be completely in his own world as he read a week-old Mexican newspaper.

“Nah, not really. The guys that were in here last week? They’ll be back in…” he checked his watch. “About an hour or so.”

“What, are they regulars or something?” I asked, remembering the odd way they seemed to be together but sat at different tables.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. So, you’ll notice people coming in and out of here a bit. You’ll know what I mean when you see it. There’s not many rules here, but the one you need to remember is this.” he leaned in closer as he continued. “Don’t worry about them. You don’t even need to take their order. Just stay back and leave them alone.”

He said it all in a calm, even tone. His eyes were fixed on mine the whole time, and they didn’t move.

“Who are they?”

“Friends.” The tension in the air as he said those words was so tight you could have cut it with a knife. His expression was so deadly serious, and he had this way of perfectly controlling the emotions of his words as he said them.

“The tough looking guy sitting in the back yesterday? His name is Nacho. You’ll get to know him eventually, but he’s a little shy. The other one is Domingo. I’m sure he’ll introduce himself when he gets here.”

Suddenly, Lalo leaned back and broke the tension in half with a smile.

“That’s my little lecture. Bored yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

“Really? You think I don’t talk much?” As I said that, I realized my mouth was sort of dry. “Usually people tell me I’m a chatterbox.”

“I’ll have to see that to believe it,” he laughed. “It’s about noon. You hungry? Another perk of this job. Free food.”

Without even waiting for my affirmation, he was back in the kitchen and the music was turned up again. Determined to make myself useful, I followed.

“Want help?” I called over the music.

He turned around from the tomatoes he was chopping, surprised.

“Yeah, you can do this,” he said, pointing to the chopping board. “There’s some lettuce over there, and the steak will need to be chopped too. I have to cook the meat first, so I’ll give it to you once I’m done.”

I got going, messily dicing the tomatoes. I tried my hardest to make them all at least even shapes and sizes, and I did decently okay for someone who has absolutely to idea what they’re doing. With the blade of the knife, I slid the tomatoes to the side of the board and took up the lettuce.

Lalo was, to say the least, enthusiastic about his cooking. He was loudly singing along to the music on the radio, and his excitement was spreading to me. Even if I didn’t know the words, I was singing along with him. It was impossible not to.

As Lalo warmed the tortillas on the frying pan, he was passing them to me and I was building the tacos.

“This is something I need to do again,” I said as we carried the plates out into the dining room.

“I can show you a thing or two about cooking, if you want. Like I said, there’s not a whole lot that needs to be done around here. You’re gonna have a lot of free time.”

The door to El Michoacano swung open, and in walked one of the men I saw yesterday. Lalo walked up to him and clapped him on the back.

“Ocho loco, you remember this girl from last week?” He looked at me and smiled slightly.

“Hi, I’m Domingo,” he said, shaking my hand.

“Y/n,” I responded. Lalo handed him the plate in his hand.

“Here, this is for you, made especially by y/n,” Lalo said with a cheeky smile in my direction.

“Oh come on, I barely helped.”

“Thanks, y/n,” said Domingo, walking over to the table he was sitting at the other day.

“Does he always sit there?” I whispered to Lalo as we sat down at the table closest to the counter.

“Yeah. Remember what I said earlier? About leaving them alone? That goes for Domingo too.”

“So, you want to me to like, ignore him when he comes in?”

He laughed and said “No, nothing like that. Just don’t go up and bother him while he’s working. And don’t eavesdrop. Especially don’t eavesdrop.”

I sat in silence and ate my taco, mulling over what he’d said. ‘Don’t eavesdrop’? What was that supposed to mean? What could Domingo and the other guy, Nacho, was it? What could they be doing that was so secretive?

I jolted my head up when I heard the door swing open again, this time with more force.

“What’s up Nacho,” Domingo greeted the man walking in.

He didn’t even look in my direction. He walked straight to the table he was at last time I saw him and sat down.

“He’s like that,” Lalo whispered to me. “Nachito, come say hi to the new waitress,” he said, raising his tone.

Nacho turned his head toward me and simply said “Hi.” I could tell he already didn’t like me, but I couldn’t tell why. Suddenly, I remembered the look he gave to Lalo when he offered me the application.

“Why don’t you sweep the kitchen floor? The broom is back there,” he said, waving his hand toward the kitchen but not looking away from Nacho.

I followed his orders, but the strongest sense of suspicion guided me toward the kitchen.

This is when I broke my first rule. I stood as close as I could to the door so I could hear what they were saying. Lalo’s eyes followed me toward the kitchen and watched me carefully before he got up and sat directly next to Nacho and started speaking very quickly and quietly in Spanish.

I risked a look up at the pair, trying to figure out what they were saying from their expressions. Nacho was sitting cross-armed and looking up at Lalo with a quirked eyebrow. Words were exchanged, but the only ones I could pick out were “quieres” and “tienes”, “you want” and “you have” respectively. Unsurprisingly, these were some of the only Spanish words I knew.

Lalo was leaned forward on the table, his gaze fixated on the man across from him.

“Compredes?” He said at last. “Understand?”

“Sí, Lalo,” Nacho responded. I leaned my broom against the wall and came back into the dining room. Domingo was just sitting still, staring directly at the wall. He had the look of someone who had just sat through a very uncomfortable conversation. Lalo sighed and patted Nacho rather aggressively on the shoulder. Then I heard tires on the pavement outside, and a giant truck pulled up outside the restaurant.

“Y/N, you can do some stocking in the cupboards. There’s not much work for you out here.”

I had the distinct impression that this was going to be one of those times in which I should not be eavesdropping. I disappeared into the pantry behind the kitchen and tried to ignore the man walking in as much as possible.

That was the rest of the day. I hid in the back while men came in and out of the restaurant, from time to time Lalo would ask how I was or what I was getting up to. No customers came in. Not one. The bus ride home felt so much longer than the one there. My mind was racing with ideas as to what could be going on there.

No matter what I thought of, the same thought kept returning to me. Something dark must be going on, and somehow I had gotten caught up in it.

***************

“Why don’t you sweep the kitchen floor? The broom is back there,” I said. I studied Nacho carefully. Out of my peripheral, I saw her hesitate and then turn around. I turned to watch her leave, double checking to see that she was out of earshot before snapping my head back toward Nacho.

“You know exactly why I hired her,” I hissed softly in Spanish.

“I meant you should hire someone connected, not an outsider! Someone’s daughter or niece. You don’t even know this girl, she could be an FBI agent,” Nacho retorted, wrinkling his nose in distaste. The corners of my lips twitched upward.

“I’ve been following her since she first stepped foot in this building. Believe me, she isn’t FBI. I didn’t choose her at random. The look of pure desperation on her face told me she needed money, fast. She’d do anything for it. She won’t tell, believe me.” Nacho raised an eyebrow at me, a frown forming on his face.

“I’m just saying that you shouldn’t put your trust into someone who you don’t even know. She has no reason to be loyal to us. She could turn at any minute.”

“I have a plan,” I said simply, looking back at the girl. She was staring very decidedly at the floor where she was sweeping.

“What’s that, then?”

“All in good time, Nachito,” I smiled at him. “But now, you must be civil to her. I don’t care if you don’t like her, you must be polite, comprendes?”

Nacho sighed and responded “Sí, Lalo.”

#bcs #lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca imagine #lalo salamanca imagines #lalo salamanca headcanons #saul goodman #Better Call Saul #better call saul headcanon #better call saul headcanons #better call saul imagine #better call saul imagines #nacho varga

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stormxpadme · 2 years

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1, 5, 11, 16, 21, 26, 27, 32, 34, 37 god i hope i wrote the numbers right im on mobile. also full disclosure idr scheduling this so it was fun figuring out whats happening. my answers coming as soon as the laptop awakens, till then, tell me everything 😍💖💖💖💖

Weird Questions for Writers

1 - What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

I’m a Bookman old style girl indeed. As my followers know at this point, I’m a dinosaur aka proud Xennial, generation analogue to digital, from typewriter to cloud. So I went from the first Word programs to what we have now and also had my first office jobs when the whole PC thing was still in its first stages. Everyone especially in business life used Times and Arial and Verdana back then, and honestly, I was just really bored by those. So when I got on my own PC and started transcribing my fanfics from handwritten to electronic, I chose something that was still easy to read but didn’t look like work. And that stuck. I even use that font in my work life whenever I can get away with it. I just really love Bookman old style.

5 - Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

I don’t think so? Though if it counts, I’ve encountered prophetic writing with my stuff before and that can be pretty creepy. Like, in an entirely non religious way, of course, because I’m agnostic, but like ... visions put in writing. Stuff of my stories that came true weirdly specific in one shape or another later. So there’s that.

11 - Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Nah, I have a very hard time killing my protagonists. So if it happens at all, you can be sure I’ll find a way to bring them back at some point. At that point when I do kill them off tho, I cry. Like, a lot.

16 - What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Nothing strange, I think, I was just one of those sinners as a kid using dog-ears.

21 - Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

Nope, not gonna happen. This is the thing that keeps me alive, and I don’t have any suicidal tendencies these days.

26 - How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

A lot, I think, with faceclaims when it comes to my own characters. Watching the material I got of the actors in questions, doing moodboards, videos, stuff like that. It was very inspiring for many scenes in the past. Then there’s the good old impersonating them in your head in calm moments like under the shower or when brushing your teeth, playing random scenarios in your head, contemplating how they will react. But in the end, a lot of characterizing only comes when I actually write them.

27 - Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

I’ve got a lot of anxiety about my current first trans character, especially since the canon faceclaim is no other than Elliot Page. So I’m just really terrified I’ll fuck this whole thing up because it is not my personal corner of queer so I can’t write from experience.

32 - What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I’m more prone to movie lines than book quotes tbh, and poetry is not my world. I can cheat here though, since movie is based on a book, so Imma go with PS, I love you here.

“You made my life. But I'm just one chapter in yours.“

I’ve used that sentiment two times myself, in the two longest fanfiction projects I made, one of which I’m working on right now, and it’s breaking me every time.

And from the same movie (there’s reasons I can’t sit through this without crying):

“Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.“

Also something I used before in stories, and a thought that sometimes help.

34 - Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

I hate it with the passion of a thousand suns since it has no place in German, and if grammarly wouldn’t do it for me, I would never use it.

37 - If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

Hopeless romantic as long as there’s enough torture involved.

#stormys fanfics #effervescentdragon #sometimes stormy gets asked things #i have the loveliest friends #love you <3

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moonlightcookie · 4 months

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speaking of dreams here r mine from last night

(copy pasted from twitter)

i want to talk abt the dreams i had last night but im literally so bad at remembering details but im gonna do my best!

ok one dream (unsure if this was connected to the other dream i had) i was in school. and for a test the teacher wanted us to write naruto fanfic LOL obviously i am a notoriously bad writer

+ im generally bad at coming up with ideas for full fics. so i decided instead to do 4 very short fics, all different. ik one was abt sasuke and orochimaru. it was just them talking. dont remember what about. also dont remember what my other 3 fics were LOL

and the fuckin teacher had the nerve to tell me that they were all OOC? bitch they literally Weren't!! anyway next dream

it was still primarily in a (large)school setting. i was w this group of other students. this one girl was like. the Leader of the group. or at the very least super beloved by them but she was a Huge bitch to me

there was a bottle of sand by her desk n i got pissed and kicked it over hard n it broke, sand spilling out. everyone was Pissed at me but i basically ran out and down to the office to turn myself in lol

like "yeah ok i hurt her whatever punish me" bc apparently the sand was tied to her life force? but then basically after that i was on the run from this group bc they were after me

and eventually they found me n i think i pretended to lose my memory? i was acting like a totally different person n that i didnt know them. n they were suspicious so they kept me around as part of their group to keep an eye on me lol. it was scary but also kinda fun?

#moon.txt #i hope these made sense:')

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irkenheretic · 3 years

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⭐ 183 days ⭐

ah this one!! so, this one was actually a bit of a funny story. see, my dad pays me (used to pay me?) for writing- two cents a word if its a fanfic, three if its original.

there was also this giant zim plushie i wanted off ebay- it was $350 and while i had the money, it wouldve taken all my money to buy. so i told myself, i would write enough to cover the cost before i bought it. i sat down and had a major brainstorming session, and this was one of the ideas it yielded! (the others are oc-centric and therefore unpublished)

(and yes, i ended up getting the plushie. once i clean my couch hes gonna be proudly displayed on it)

so i took "what was zim thinking about in those six months in the voot?" and ran with it

gir's singing being an opener for each segment was also kind of an accident? i did it because i couldnt think of a better way to start them and it just kinda worked yknow? same with the five stages of grief motif- i really only cemented it at... the beginning of the second segment? or the end of the first

but onto me waxing poetic about my own stuff!

183 days i think is a tragic thing- the only way zim could realize everything was a lie was if he's left to die, cold and alone and unfulfilled. and then he gets to earth and its right back to denial. sure, it's bad to see him go back to denial- but would him knowing the truth really be better? fucking, he was contemplating calling the tallest and committing suicide in front of them. it's sad that he lives in denial but is the alternative really that much better?

the backstory of his training was a thing i wrote for ANX, honestly- there's gonna be a full oneshot covering his training called invade the system, it'll actually be the second annexed fic to be published. im feeling nice today so ill put a snippet of that under the cut after this whole ask about 183 days is done

speaking of 183 days lets get back to the training stuff in there. my editor, toby, really liked this one line: "If he was taller, would his Commander have told him to stop killing himself, that destroying his body would do nothing to make him a better soldier?" He said "You can't help but wonder if his Commander told him this not because he was a lost cause, but because he /was/ killing himself," which is absolutely not what i intended for this line- but i really like that interpretation.

my favorite segment has GOT to be the depression one, honestly, with acceptance being a close second. thats where it all kind of comes crumbling down. a lot of things i set up in previous segments come back and they come back badly. zim's training memories, the echo of "different," the themes of defectiveness, devastis 2, zim's varying reactions to GIR's song culminating with him accepting GIR as his own, just as he accepts his own defectiveness.

this was kind of meander-y but thats because its kind of impossible to sum up 183 days i think? i always find myself thinking of each segment as a mini-fic on its own haha

and as a side note: i was lurking in a server and i found out that devastis 2 is actually part of someone's personal headcanons now and i think thats amazing. you know who you are... if you're even reading this haha. i know who it is but i dont wanna bother them by @ing them

also yeah as promised heres the invade the system snippet. you thought id forget but i didnt,, pog!

Devastis was cold, and it was harsh, and it was unforgiving.

Shorter Irkens always fared worse— their smaller frames meant that they retained heat worse than Tallers— but, it was important for an Invader to improvise.

Zim was always great at machinery. He felt a connection with it that rivaled the connections Irkens had with other, live Irkens. As a smeet, he was slated to become a Scientist, or perhaps an Engineer. Both respectable positions that would have made a transfer to Invader go much smoother.

But his hopes were dashed when he had one growth spurt, and everyone else in his class had the correct amount of four. It happens to 20% of Irkens, the Medical Drone had told him. There was an implied continuation of and nothing can be done, but Zim refused to accept that as truth. There was always something that could be done about anything, but this was a finicky thing— involving genomes and hormones and, perhaps, a biological defect, and not the Irkens’ dictionary definition of Defect, which stayed contained in the PAK. It was the work of a Bio-Engineer, or perhaps a Geneticist, or perhaps both working together, or an Irken who was trained as both. Zim knew he would excel at it, if he chose to sneak in a Bio-Engineer training ground, but Zim longed to invade, longed to feel the thrill of battle, to think on his feet, risk his life, all for an Empire that did not care about him.

Yet.

An Empire that did not care about him yet, Zim reminded himself. One must earn the right to be cared about, that was how it worked. And Zim’s time would come.

(hope yall liked it. if you didnt then uuhhhh rip lmao! if you did then more to come and also i am hand feeding you watermelon)

#now calling the tallest #anarchisma au #kinda since theres a snippet from an anx fic #should i start tagging asks w the fic names?? idk. i answer a lot of asks abt my shit

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uwuch9n · 3 years

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hey !!! today i’m gonna be trying to write some fluff to calm myself down and also try out something new in the process ! hope whoever reads this enjoys it :)

characters: kenma, nb y/n (self insert or oc) and a bit of kuroo :D

warnings or possible triggers: ear biting, neck kissing, wrists/arms being touched, stressed/overworked/anxious reader, and a thunderstorm/heavy rain ! please do not continue reading if any of these things could trigger any unwanted reactions ! maybe the next time i write some fluff or sfw fanfics you’ll be able to read ‘em !

a nice welcome home.

after a long day at your new job, a manga artist, you decided to end your shift for the night and head back home. you wiped the sweat off your forehead but the stress wasn’t easy to get rid of. the office wanted the manga to be done as soon as possible and you couldn’t get the last few pages right. it was very obviously a hard week for you. luckily it was a friday so you’d get saturday off, but sunday you had to go back.

after getting yourself together you stuffed your things into your bag and walked out to get in your car.

“hey there y/n! lookin great huh, i see you’re ready to go home to lil kenken right?? how you doing?” said kuroo as he ran into you right outside the establishment. he worked near that area and decided to stop by, luckily he walked into you at the right time.

“im doing well,, i guess.. i just was overthinking a bit but i’m sure tomorrow, or even tonight, i’ll be able to refresh myself and relax..” you said almost trying to avoid contact for the time being. kuroo noticed you didn’t seem to excited about things and so he decided to give you some words of encouragement.

“i’m sure whenever you get to relax you’ll be ready for work again! and besides you got a lil pal waiting for you at home, don’t you look forward to that?? he’s pretty good at comforting,, and i should know”- he chuckled. you gave him a smile and nodded in agreement. you let out a sigh and walked off to your car right before kuroo grasped your left shoulder and pulled you in for a hug. he patted your head with his hand and reassured you. you got a little flustered,, but kept it in.

“you’re doing amazing, really. i know you work really hard, so make sure to cool off, ‘kay? you got this in the bag!” he said, you clearly being able to sense his smile through his decently raspy voice. he let you go and gave you a little push to get you back together after the short hug, and you both waved goodbye.

well that was quite an experience. you knew that kuroo wasn’t a homewrecker, especially when it came to kenma’s s/o, but he was getting much more comfortable and supportive with you. that made you happy, but after thinking about what had just happened, you refocused and started your car.

you drove through the freeway and noticed all the billboards promoting businesses that you knew you’d rather be working at. you meet a stop sign and let out a sigh while other cars drive by. when it’s time to go, you go, as one would normally do, but you noticed that some water droplets were gently hitting the windshield of your car. it started getting a bit rougher and even more water droplets starting hitting your windshield, only this time they got louder.

you could hear all the other cars driving by thanks to the water that was slightly flooding the streets. you make a swift turn into your apartment complex and slowed down as you arrived at your apartment. you park at your designated spot and turn off your car. you adjust your bag straps that had fallen off your shoulder without you realizing, and reached into the back side of your car to get your umbrella. unfortunately it wasn’t there so you’d have to get wet, and it was raining pretty heavily. you sighed and reached into your cup holder for your apartment keys and got the right key ready in your hand for when you got to the door.

you slam your car door and lock it.

“goddamit” you let out as you start feeling your clothes getting humid. your shoes were hitting the floor inundated by the rain. you started running towards your door which fortunately was on the first floor. you inserted the key into the keyhole and turned your wrist gently as you peeked into the window. you could see the flashing lights of the tv. kenma was probably playing games again.

you closed the door and brushed yourself off as you glanced at kenma who had turned to see what that noise was. he knew it was you but he still wanted to see your pretty tired face. you gently took of your shoes and put your jacket and bag on the racks on the wall next to the door. you pushed your shoes with your foot and went to put on your favorite slippers.

“hey love, how did today go..?” asked kenma in a soft gentle voice, as to not startle you while you still were trying to shake off the water that had been absorbed by your clothes. you look up at kenma with an exhausted expression. “today was very stressful,, my manager told me to hurry up,, the artwork is due literally wednesday of next week and i can’t even get the stuff i’m working on now finished and-” kenma stopped your rambling by gesturing a hug and making gentle movements to come here with his small hands. you looked at him with a surprised expression, and then quickly changed it to a pleasant smile.

by then you realized that he had paused his game and the music of the game was still playing in the background, only a little quieter then when it’s actually on. you head to his little pile of blankets and pillows, and saw your favorite stuffed animal and a few snacks already set up for you for when you came home. that made you feel a lot better than before. “hey kenken, what’s all this stuff?” you asked acting clueless, but also trying to hear what he had to say about the setup. “it’s just a few things for you to pick out from,, i even brought you your little frog plushie; i know you like it..” he said while grabbing it and handing it to you. he blushed a little as you took it from his hands, gently caressing his as you did.

you took a look at a frog plushie but before you could get a full 360° look of it you saw kenma’s slender hands covering the two small black eyes of the plush. he set the plush down on your lap and grabbed your wrists. he knew your wrists were probably tired and sore after all that nonstop sketching at work, so he started gently rubbing them with his thumbs. he looked at your hands as he did, and then looked up at you. you had a cute shocked expression which he loved to paint on your face. he giggled and then went in for a kiss on the cheek.

after his soft tender lips were lifted from your cheek, you felt a bit of rustling and then a little blow on your ear which made you squirm. he bit it gently and kissed the side of your neck, while you sat there a bit flustered. kenma was usually the type to just give you a kiss on the cheek and continue playing his game, but recently you were getting much more attention from him. you didn’t mind it though, you kinda enjoyed it rather.

“you don’t have to give me neck kisses y’know..” you said hoping that he wouldn’t listen and just continue for a good minute. he of course didn’t stop and completely brushed off what you had just said. he moved to your shoulder and started kissing it, and then he pulled away. he look at you and gave you a smile, leaning in for a kiss afterwards. you kissed back and then grabbed him by the shoulders. both of you were blushing intensely, his blush just a little more calmed down, but it was there nonetheless.

“let’s eat some snacks, shall we?” you say after pulling away from the kiss and sitting there being a hot mess. you could hear the rain only getting rougher and rougher, and at one point you heard thunder. it was gonna be a loooong night. “let’s do that then” he said smiling as he reached over to the bowl full of strawberry pocky and small chocolate chip cookies. he fed you a stick of the strawberry coated biscuit and you nommed down on it happily, while he pulled away the excess pocky stick and brushed crumbs off of your lips with his thumb. his hand grasped the side of your face and he went to kiss your cheek once again before feeding you the rest of the pocky.

kenma turned to face the tv and then slowly got up to grab another controller for you to play with, since he was already playing a game and he wanted you to play along as well. you watched his flimsy self get up and come back to the floor in front of the couch. he sat down criss cross apple sauce style and handed you the controller, all while the thunder was still alive and the rain was still pouring.

“do you want to keep playing this game or... another game i have in our room...?” asked kenma in hopes that you’d say you wanted to continue playing the game he was already playing. he didn’t want to get up when he was right next to you. “this game seems fun, i’d love to play it with you” you said happily as you took the controller he had handed you and held it correctly so that he could get the multiplayer setting on and you’d be ready when he did.

you heard silly sound effects from when he switched the setting to multiplayer, and it filled you up with motivation for some reason. the thunderstorm and heavy raining didn’t bother you anymore because you knew you’d be safe with kenma. the music of the game got louder and kenma slowly lowered it a bit as to not disturb the apartment building. “you have to jump over the brown mushrooms and then jump into the green tubes and-” “..super mario bros..? don’t worry baby i know how to play this one” you winked at him and he let out a giggle.

he layed his head on your left shoulder which made you blush, and you followed it with a wide-eyed expression. he didn’t look too into it though, he was just focused in the game, and for him it was only nature. you rested your head on top of his and continued to play. time passed and it was around 2 AM. you and kenma had played for hours, and kenma was seemingly getting pretty tired, just as you were. “hey bub do you want to maybe go to bed now?” you suddenly paused the game and asked. “bed..?” he looked confused. he directed his eyes to the couch behind you two and you followed, quickly looking back at him.

“do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?” you put the puzzle pieces together. he nodded his head. “you don’t have work tomorrow so i figured you wouldn’t mind sleeping with me on the couch....” he said quietly in hopes that you would. you grabbed his face with your warm hands and kissed his forehead. “yeah of course i do!” you said trying to be enthusiastic, although your tired face barely allowed it. you both got up and he laid on the couch. you tried getting the bowl of snacks from off the floor and bring them to the kitchen but kenma quickly pulled you into his arms.

“tomorrow.. tomorrow we can clean up...” he said exhausted as you now were covering his body with yours. you adjusted yourself as did kenma and you both got into ‘cuddle mode.’

his arms wrapped around your body and you slowly started to kiss him all over. he laid his head back onto the arm of the couch. you relaxed your stiffened body, and closed your eyes as the music from the video game slowly faded away into nothing. kenma’s arms rubbed your back and moved to your head and shoulders. he gave you a final kiss on your head before drifting off to sleep.

that’s all ! i hope you enjoyed this self insert x kenma fluff fanfic ! if this does any good i’ll consider writing more fluff in the future :))

#hq fluff #fluff #haikyuu fluff #fluff fanfic #fanfic #sfw fanfic #kozume kenma #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #kenma haikyuu #haikyuu kozume #kenma fluff #kozume fluff #sfw #sfw writing #writing

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tema-makes-art-sometimes · 3 years

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Just saw your vent post and I think diving into your self indulgent stuff might help. For me personally, when working on original stuff, that's when I'll think about things like appealing to others/marketability/etc, but when it comes to fandom stuff, the only audience I care to pander to is Me, Myself, and I. Other people sometimes end up liking it, mostly it just goes ignored, maybe a like by a mutual if they see it. I prefer it this way, since worrying about appealing to more people when writing fanfic makes it feel too much like Writing I Do For Work, and I even never use betas for that same reason, it makes it feel too much like Work Writing, when fandom is Fun Writing.

I'm not sure what you do outside of fandom, but you have so much creativity, I've kinda assumed you've either been doing creative work or are studying to go into it--I can see you in a character design shop tbh, I can see Pin being a villain people would just eat up and love or love to hate.

If you're in a creative field, I feel like it's just good practice to go into Work Creative Space and Fandom Creative Space with different intents, if anything for the sake of mental health, as I've been in a very similar place, where silence on my fandom work would make me rethink what I'm doing, make me want to retcon WIPs, thinking "Maybe if I change this to that or this ship to that ship or change this character to be closer to fanon, more people will want to read/will comment/whatever".

You sound like you already very well know this isn't a healthy mindset, so I'm not going to go into that. I'll just say dive into that self indulgence, whether or not you're doing original creative work in the background as a job/part of study. You have great stuff, but audiences can get burned out just like creatives do. Sometimes it's because they're also creatives. Sometimes it's just burn out from seeing so much art/writing/media ALL THE TIME.

Something a professor told me was that if you got to go to an art museum, and you tried to really appreciate each piece, you'd end up exhausted before finishing even one section of the museum. This can lead to the 'mindless scrolling' a lot of the time. Fandom is becoming a large part of a lot of people's lives, but for most people, it's secondary or even tertiary media, and they're already putting a lot of energy into enjoying and appreciating the media they're in fandoms for. (Yes, there are some people who 'set fire to canon' and are in the center area of a fandom, but most people are closer to the sides, occasionally popping in from time to time but not setting up tents, if that makes sense.) So many of those people just don't have the energy to really get involved with a lot of media produced my fan creators, especially if they follow a lot of them and can only comment or otherwise get involved with a few posts/creators at a time. This can be what often leads to some 'visiting' the same 3-4 creators more often than they may go to another creator.

Setting up a place and waiting for more people to filter in can feel exhausting all by itself, especially when you're trying to create more to fill more of that space and hopefully entice more people to pop in and see what's going on.

When you focus on self indulgence for a while, you're not always looking at the door, since you usually don't expect people to walk in (at least, I never expect it), so when people actually do come in and tap you on the shoulder to see what you're working on and if they can see, it can really help offer that extra boost you need.

I really don't think you're doing anything wrong. A lot of artists who don't do what those "How to get more followers" tips still find an audience, sometimes due to the niche, sometimes starting out niche but expanding as more ideas get tossed in. Some artists who by the book, seem to do everything right, don't get nearly as much. There's really not a right or wrong way to create or share your creations. There are just a /lot/ of creators, so a lot of times, it boils down to how people find your door.

These are all really good points so I am going to share. Honestly a lot of my GerCanMano stuff is pure self indulgence but you're honestly right I think I'm probably gonna focus on some self indulgent shinanigans for a bit, and stop worrying as much about getting things out on time and making it perfect

but I do wanna point out this cause it hit me;

I was in school, but I never declared my major so I had to stop temporarily because I honestly don't know what major to be. There's so many things I like to do, but I don't know if I want to make a career out of them if that makes sense.

Like art, I love art and video games, I'd love to do things like animation or graphic design or be my own indie developer, but I worry if thinking about a game like a business slash whats making me money will ruin the creative process. It wont be making things for the joy of making things, it would be for my job because I had to, and idk- that just isn't as fun. Im worried about that mentality sinking in. I like them but idk if I wanna have to take them full on seriously as a career.

I'm trying to get a minimum wage job right now but its hard to find a job right now in the US job climate, especially with the fact that I have to find job willing to cater to a disability I have currently offrecord because my doctor wouldnt listen to me. Which is even harder because Ive had to walk away from jobs before because they wouldnt give me accomedations without doctors recommendation.

I am planning to set up a Etsy shop right now actually. I need to get a printer, but otherwise hopefully soon I will have a store up with stickers and preorders for keychains. One day I plan to get a button press and make my own buttons. I have hetalia merch planned, as well as my ocs. I'd love and have designs for all sorts of stuff, custom tshirt designs- like subtle hetalia fan stuff like pockets on the chest witht he character "sticking out" with familiar hetalia patterns. I have miraculous ladybug stuff planned. My friend gave me the idea of aster's heart as a friendship necklace and I love it, I could imagine all sorts of needle and thread themed pin merch I have a lot of ideas its just designing and making them and seeing if people would buy them.

I dont quite know what you mean by character design shop if thats something different or not, but yes.

Ill save a ramble about pin for a seperate post this ask is long and so is my response so Ill stop

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satoruvt · 3 years

Text

fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

#wah these things r so fun. cries #tag games #adi speaks

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cold-b-writing · 3 years

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Thanatophobia: Chapter I

The first entry to a fanfic series I've been meaning to write for 3 years. I finally got out of that writer's block and figured out how I wanna start this. I pretty much know how this is gonna play out, but still. That was the first obstacle. There isn't a set deadline for the future chapters, but I will do my best. Image was made with Rinmaru Games, artwork is not my own.

The horses struggled to trudge through the snow, even on a pathway, the snow piled so high, and the carriage they were pulling along was so heavy; there was no chance that the driver could make it to his destination by the end of the day. He would be lucky if he could even find a place to stop and rest; he was prepared for the winter, but he still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of having to spend another night out into the wilderness, especially since he still had to keep an eye on the passenger.

The boy riding along the back was a strange character, always having his nose in one book or another, rather timid in the few times he does speak, and the worst part about it was that he seemed young and inexperienced. If one were to approach the boy from behind, they could easily confuse him for an old man facing away; but that notion would disappear the moment that passenger would turn around. The carriage seemed to have hit a large stone hidden in the snow, as the ride got even more bumpy than it already was. The driver had to tug on his reigns and calm down the horses, the commotion made the passenger drop his book.

“Sorry about that,” the driver called out. “Are you alright?” The passenger bent over to grab his book, looked up to the driver with pitch pine-eyes when asked and nodded his head. The driver sighed, knowing that would be all he would get from the boy, he just kept his eyes on the road and made sure his horses stayed on the path, as far as he can make I out. Things were only going to get worse, as things were before, he could still see the mountains and the river a few miles away, however, with the path he was taking, he was starting to make his way into a pine forest.

It wasn’t too long before making it inside before he could see nothing but the surrounding trees in the area. The forest made him nervous, at least if something were coming towards him when he was out on the path before, he would be able to see it long before reaching him; now he’d be lucky to spot something a couple yards away from him.

Sure enough, the driver’s suspicions became true, he passed by a couple of figures emerging from the trees onto the path. He heard a shrill cry from behind as a female called out to him, asking him to stop. The driver didn’t have much time before they would be out of sight, he didn’t even think about whether it was a good idea to stop for them or not. Instinctually, he pulled hard on the reigns, having the carriage come to a full stop after a good five seconds.

The driver cursed under his breath, wondering why he even bothered stopping. Stopping for a couple of people randomly found in the woods was just asking for trouble. He had no idea who these people were and for all he knew, they could be bandits. Regardless, even if he whipped the reigns and got the horses moving again, the two figures were not so distant anymore. It would be impossible to get away without them climbing the carriage at this point; and if they were bandits, there’d be no point in trying to escape anyway, they’d have some trap ready to go.

The driver wasn’t ready for a fight, and the passenger in the back didn’t look like he could handle himself much better. He felt the carriage shift and heard a man being shoved into the carriage. The woman in leather armor climbed up not long after and thanked the driver, pulling the man up off the ground and shoving him onto the bench opposite of the first passenger.

“Thank you, mister.” The woman exclaimed as she sat between her companion and the latter they climbed. “Two of us woulda frozen t’ death if i’ weren’t for you.” The driver sighed and turned to face his new passengers.

“Just happy to see a couple of friendly faces around these parts.” The driver forced a smile and nodded.

“A happy face.” The woman pointed at herself, correcting the driver. “This man here, not so much.” she pointed at the man who had a black hood over his head, having pointed ears and looked older than everyone else in the carriage, all he could do was chuckle when she brought him up.

“What’s the deal with the dagger-head here?” the driver asked. The elf had his hands tied, but the moment he heard what the driver called him, he looked up and spat at the driver. At that instant, the woman elbowed him right in the nose, causing him to rear his head back from the pain, reaching up with his tied hands to try to cover up his now bloody face.

The boy sitting from across could only stare at everyone in shock for a split second, then going back to reading from his book to try and avoid getting involved.

“I’m glad you asked, mister.” The woman smiled condescendingly. “This right here, is none other than Morqen Reshert,” she slowed down and emphasized the name as if the driver should know who that is. “he is wanted for multiple counts of larceny, burglary, theft, vandalism, perjury, and my favorite,” she began to chuckle to herself. “public intoxication…”

The driver wasn’t laughing, he his expression dropped, and he glared at the woman. “What in the Nine Hells are you doing, bringing a damn criminal to my carriage?” his tone became gruff. “Are you trying to bring me trouble?”

“It ain’t like that.” The woman shook her head, raising her hands in the air. “I’m just doing my duty as an adventurer and getting some work around here done.” She looked at the elf. “Look, there ain’t nobody coming here to save ‘im. He was running with some others not too long ago, but they didn’t really care much for him. They was just itchin’ to get rid of him and I gave them an excuse.” The elf laughed and shook his head in response.

“This doesn’t sit right with me.” The driver shook his head. “It sounds too good of a story.”

“Look mister.” The woman smiled pleadingly at the driver. “I’ll tell you what, the keeb’s worth fifteen-hundred gold pieces. If you let me ride this carriage, I’ll be willing to split the bounty with you.”

“By how much?” the driver raised an eyebrow. The woman turned her head quizzically. “You said, you would split the bounty, how are we gonna split it?”

“I can give you thirty percent for the ride, that should cover it, right?” the woman smiled. “Its just a ride to the closest village.” The driver laughed and shook his head.

“I hope you find another carriage soon.” The driver chuckled. The woman widened her eyes in horror.

“Forty percent!” she piped up. “Please mister, that should be enough for the ride and hazard pay.” She turned her head to the elf. The elf wiped his nose with the sleeve of his cloak.

“Half.” The driver stated. The woman was slack jawed. “If you give me half, I’ll give you your ride.”

“You’d really take advantage of a woman like this?” the adventurer asked.

“Well,” the driver chuckled to himself. “way I see it is this is precious cargo.” He pointed at the elf. “Very expensive cargo…not only that, but you ain’t got much of a choice, do you?”

“This is fuckin’ extortion.” The woman growled, showing what few rotten teeth, she had left. “What’s to stop me from just taking your carriage for myself?”

“Think of it like this, miss.” The driver smiled. “You can’t keep an eye on him and make your way back to town. Not with him alive at least. From what I can gather, he ain’t worth nearly as much dead. And if you ran into the people he used to work with, well I can’t help but just assume you didn’t acquire this man legally.” He raised a finger, pointed at her with a crossbow hidden under his sleeve. “I’d best be careful with my words if I were you,” the driver grunted low. “you’re lucky I’m still giving you the ride after that pathetic little threat of yours.”

The woman huffed and crossed her arms, shaking her head. “Fine…” she muttered. The elf started chuckling to himself and the woman immediately punched him in the back of the head. The elf fell over immediately, hitting his head on the back of the driver’s seat and ended up on the floor. He wasn’t getting up anytime soon.

The ranger smiled as she rubbed her fist, admiring her work. She turned her attention to the white-haired passenger sitting across from her and grimaced. “We gonna have a problem too, frilly boy?” she grunted.

The passenger didn’t respond, he just kept his face down in his book. He didn’t even make any indication of listening to the woman.

The ranger chuffed and rolled her eyes, she wasn’t fond with anyone on this carriage, but she didn’t care. For her, all that mattered was getting all the money she could. Right now, that mean making sure that her elven friend would be getting to the nearest prison in the area.

The carriage driver turned back to his horses, he made his point clear. He would be sticking close with the ranger for a while to make sure she keeps her end of the deal.

He didn’t like the idea of having this dealing in front of his other passenger, but he didn’t have much of a choice. He was grateful that the boy knew when to keep quiet, he wasn’t sure if he could tolerate anymore scuffling in the carriage than what was already going on.

He whipped the reigns and got the horses moving through the woods again. He had to make sure to find some place to take shelter. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a map, looking at part of it with one hand with his other hand still holding the reigns.

He spent half his time looking at the map to see where he was and where he was going, and he spent the other half of his time keeping an eye on the road, looking for signs. Occasionally, he would turn around to check on his passengers.

The ranger was playing with her quiver and twirling her arrows around in her fingers. She had her bow to her side, and she would look down at the elf every now and then. Eventually she put her quiver down and decided to take a look at her knuckles that were starting to look a bit roughed up. She would spend some time taking care of them with the supplies she had on hand.

The elf was still dead asleep on the floorboards. He wore some leather armor of his own dyed black with a fur cloak around him. He had some unrecognizable tools attached to his belt. Whatever those contraptions could be, they likely weren’t used for anything productive.

Looking over at the last passenger, out of everyone in the back, he was the strangest of them all. The boy gave off an aura that he was more capable than he was letting on. Despite that, he was the least armed of the bunch. He seemed to only have a satchel and the robes on him, along with his trusty book. In fact, that seemed to be all he had.

The boy didn’t look like any kind of scholar the driver has ever seen. Even if he did, he would have no business being on the North West corner of the continent. He had been on this ride the longest and he still didn’t even share his name.

Keeping all of this in mind, he turned his head and finally saw a signpost at a crossroads. Looking down at his map, he could tell that the closest settlement he could head to would be a city called Loudwater. From what he heard about it, it was a rather successful city filled mostly with humans and half elves.

He turned back around to look at the ranger in the back, if she were as loud and obnoxious with them as she was with him, she likely wouldn’t last long. They likely wouldn’t take too kindly to the colorful slurs she referred to her captive with. He made a remark himself, but he was smart enough to keep his opinion to himself when he should. She likely didn’t share that same attitude.

Regardless, he didn’t really care about what would happen to her. The only thing he wanted was a portion of the bounty that he managed to haggle out of her. After that, he never wanted to hear from her again.

The man sighed and looked off into the distance only to see footsteps not that far away. He turned his head to the other side and saw footsteps that looked similar from that direction as well. He pulled on his reigns and stopped the carriage. Everyone jerked back and forth for a split second and then looked over at the driver.

“I thought you said no one was coming to save him.” The man turned around, facing the ranger again.

“There ain’t!” the woman barked. Then she paused and looked around, she noticed that something was off as well.

“Like Hell there ain’t!” the driver spoke through his teeth. “This is your fault!”

“Hey there, mister!” a voice called out. Soon, two men riding a horse emerged from the trees, one was steering the horse towards the front of the carriage, the other had an arrow nocked already, pointing it at the driver. “We couldn’t help but notice that you happen to be in some interesting company.”

“Expensive?” the driver tried to play dumb. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, that elf on the back happens to be someone of great interest around here.” The rider smiled. He looked over at the ranger and smiled. “Miss Vedetta, pleasure to see you again.”

“The fuck is this!?” the ranger motioned at the two in front of the carriage. While this was happening, another pair with similar attire to the ones in front of the carriage approached from behind. A rider was steering the horse and the other had an arrow nocked, pointing it at the woman’s back. “We had a deal, Cledus, you said you didn’t even like him!”

“I did…” Cledus nodded. “But then I figured, why not just turn in the bounty myself? Get a few arrows while I’m at it.”

“Now hold on...” The driver raised a hand. “I don’t want no part of this, if we give you the elf and her, will you let us go?”

“Sure, we’ll let you go.” Cledus smiled. “But here’s the thing, mister. These woods here, this is Bull Crew territory. If you wanna pass, you’re gonna have to pay the toll.”

“How much is the toll?” The driver tried to play dumb again, this only caused Cledus to chuckle to himself.

“Show me your pockets…” the bandit laughed. “Give me everything you got.”

“I got a better idea.” The driver muttered. He aimed the wrist crossbow at the horse and shot it right in the leg. Immediately, the horse whined in pain and lifted itself in the air, kicking the air in a frenzy. This knocked the rider and Cledus off the horse, and the mare soon ran off into the woods. Cledus grabbed and whipped the reigns as fast as he could, causing the horses to move at break-neck speed. The carriage simply ran over the people on the ground.

“Cledus!” the archer from behind shouted. “You’re fucking dead!” He tried to take a shot at the driver, but the carriage on the move already caused him to not lead well enough, he ended up hitting a tree instead of his intended target.

The rider went chasing after the carriage, the archer reaching to his quiver to get ready to shoot again. The driver was sweating bullets, trying to get everyone out of this predicament. He turned to the ranger. “If you wanna get out of this alive, keep them off of me!”

The ranger nodded and grabbed her bow. Pulling an arrow from her quiver and tried to aim at the bandits after them. The strange boy ducked behind the bench and tried to stay out of the fight. It was better off that way, as far as she cared, he would just get in the way.

The archer took another shoot and it could have caused a major injury. It scraped past her armor, and it lodged itself into the bench behind the ranger. Vedetta sighed in relief and took a shot herself. The rider turned the horse to the other side of the carriage, with the way he executed the maneuver, it was done just well enough to make the ranger miss.

“Just go home!” the driver shouted. “This ain’t even worth it, anymore!” the bandits didn’t listen. They kept trying to shoot down the driver. Every time the archer tried to take a shot at him, Vedetta would try to shoot at them, making them lose their angle.

It was clear that if they wanted to stop the carriage, they would have to deal with the ranger first. The bandits looked at each other for a second, like they were sharing an idea and didn’t even need to speak. Both nodded to one another, the archer then pulled out another arrow and now kept trying to shoot Vedetta.

While this was happening, the rider got his horse closer and closer to the carriage with every passing second. Vedetta would try to take a shot at the horse or the horseman, but the archer kept shooting at her, making her duck and cover every time that happened.

“Ready!?” the archer called out to his partner. The partner nodded, and soon started to try to stand up on the saddle, hanging desperately onto the handle while planting his feet on the battle. “Now!”

The rider lept off the horse and grabbed onto the bench, Vedetta tried to get up to knock the man off, but the archer took another shot at her. As she got up, she got hit in the shoulder, the arrowhead went all the way through the shoulder plate.

The ranger screamed as she reared back in pain and ducked down behind cover again. The rider hanging off the side of the carriage smiled and climbed over to get into where the passengers were hiding.

The bandit chuckled as he reached to the side of his belt and pulled a dagger out from its hilt. “You gonna stop the carriage now?” the bandit called out.

The strange boy was still hiding behind cover all this time, hood over his head. He looked up to see a large buff man smiling manically down at him. The boy didn’t get up, instead, he raised his hand and a green smoke cloud shot out from the palm of his hand.

The smoke cloud made its way right into the bandit’s face, he wasn’t ready for whatever it is the cloud was made of. The bandit started coughing hoarsely, his eyes becoming bloodshot. His face turned red and he grimaced. The grip on his dagger tightened and he took a swing at the boy.

The boy flinched and raised an arm instinctually, covering any vital areas. He felt a sharp pain tear through his robe and rip across his forearm. The strike was powerful enough to knock the boy back.

Vedetta still hiding behind cover, broke the arrow lodged in her shoulder in half, pulling it out from one side and then the other. She bit her lip and glared up at the bandit fighting the frilly boy.

The boy himself gritted his teeth, fighting through the pain. He looked up at the bandit and clenched his fist. Soon enough, he swiped his arm in a swinging motion at the bandit standing above him.

A strange green substance was flung from his hand landing right into the bandit’s face. Immediately, he screamed as whatever this was, it was eating away at the flesh on his head. He dropped his dagger and tried to scrub whatever this was off his face, anything to make the overwhelming pain go away.

Vedetta shot up and charged at the man, as she did an arrow flew right past her head. She raised her knee high up in the air and put all of her weight into the kick, landing right into the bandit’s stomach.

The ranger wasn’t proficient when it comes to close quarters combat, but at a time like this, she didn’t see any other way. Luckily, it paid off, because she delivered enough force to knock the large man off of the carriage and make him land headfirst on the road.

As the man landed, there was a loud snap as his head turned in such a way where heads shouldn’t turn naturally. Everyone around, however, didn’t hear the snap, there was too much of a commotion going on to hear any kind of snap at all. He immediately collapsed on the road, not getting up, just laying there as the snow continued to fall on him.

The archer watched everything play out in horror, and then glared at the carriage with a deep, burning hatred. The money didn’t matter anymore, none of the goods or the bounty mattered anymore either. At this point, he just wanted to watch these people suffer.

He hoisted himself onto the saddle and readied himself to take another shot. Reaching for another arrow, nocking it and pointing it at the driver.

The strange boy looked up and saw what the archer was trying to do. He flung another bit of that strange green substance at the archer. The archer, however, saw what it did and intended to not let it touch him, he ducked his head, losing his grip on the arrow. He would have to nock it again, but it seems that the boy wouldn’t bother him again, seeing as the boy immediately ducked for cover right after throwing the green substance.

Vedetta grabbed her bow once again, nocking her arrow and pointed it at the last bandit who was after them. “Suck on this!” she shouted as she let her arrow loose. It scraped the side of the horseman’s head. He could feel his flesh rip open as the arrow flew past him, he grunted in pain and frustration.

The bandit was looking to return the favor. He was pulling out an arrow himself. He was getting ready to take out the ranger, tired of her antics and ready to finish the job.

The driver saw what was happening and shook his head, reloading his wrist crossbow, knowing he would need to help finish this. The boy shot up again and flung more of that green substance at the archer.

The archer ducked his head and the stuff flew right past him, hitting the ground instead. He readied his arrow and pointed it at Vedetta, when she tried to poke her head out of cover, he took a shot and it made her duck.

The driver turned around and aimed his crossbow at the bandit’s horse. He wasn’t going to waste time like the others were. He shot the horse right in the leg and the horse whinnied in pain, rearing its head back and forth. The bandit was starting to lose control of his horse.

At that moment, both Vedetta and the boy saw their opportunity and the two of them shot up from cover. Neither of them wasted their time taking their shots. Vedetta had an arrow nocked and ready to go.

The boy flung more of that green substance at the man, the bandit looked up only to have that substance land right in his face. He howled in pain, dropping his bow as he tried to scrub it off of him like his friend did earlier.

Vedetta aimed right for the man’s chest and took her shot. The bandit stopped screaming, and as he dropped his arms, she could see that there was no skin on his face anymore. It was all just muscle and bone, whatever that green stuff was, it ate away at his flesh. Whatever was still left was still bubbling and sizzling on him.

The bandit soon flopped over to the side, but his foot was still caught up in the stirrup, there was a loud thud as he hit the ground. The ranger and the boy watched as the horse dragged its former rider across the ground and into the woods, leaving a trail of blood in the direction it ran.

The boy started catching his breath as he collapsed onto his bench and leaning back. He shook his head as he looked over at the ranger.

Vedetta couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, amazed that they had all managed to make it out of that whole predicament. She took a deep breath and sighed, grateful that she got to live another day. She turned her attention back to the strange boy. “How in the Nine Hells are you able to do that?” she asked him. “That green stuff, what is it?”

“Its magic.” The boy finally spoke. “Just a couple of the few spells that I know.” He shook his head. “They aren’t the best, and I don’t know that many spells, but I know enough to get by.”

“What are you, some kind of sorcerer?” the ranger raised an eyebrow. “Heard you lot are born with magical powers, able to do some crazy things with it too.”

The boy shook his head. “No, I wasn’t born with it…” he sighed. “Everything I know about magic, I studied on my own. Anyone can learn it; you just need to take the time to do it.” Vedetta nodded, pulling herself back up onto a bench and sitting herself down.

The ranger reached into her satchel and pulled out a large red potion. She bit into the cork, pulled it out with her teeth and spit it. Downing the contents, the boy watched as all the red liquid of the bottle poured down her throat.

“Got any for me?” the boy asked as she was finishing up. The ranger raised an eyebrow and he looked at her expectantly. The ranger was staring at him for a second but then sighed and shook her head, giving in.

“Fine, sure why not?” she reached into her satchel again and pulled out another healing potion. “But only because you were helpful.” She said as she handed it to him. “Don’t expect any more favors.”

The boy thanked her and gripped the cork tightly and twisted it, taking much longer to pull it out than the ranger herself. He eventually got it off, but he ended up spilling a few drops of the potion onto his robes.

At this point, he didn’t really care about making a mess. He downed the contents of the potion and held the glass bottle out to her. “Want this back?” he asked. The ranger held up a hand and shook her head. The boy shrugged and put the empty glass in his satchel. Thinking he could use it to contain something useful later.

The ranger eventually pulled out a white rag and began tying it around her shoulder blade, biting into one end of the rag and using her hands to wrap it around her shoulder blade while she did so. When she was done, she tied a tight and secure knot at the front end of it where she could easily reach up and undo it.

The boy wasn’t really prepared for such an occasion, his arm was still bleeding slightly, but he just covered the wound with the sleeves of his robes. He didn’t have a rag or medical equipment to cover it up. However, he would make sure to get it looked at when they would reach town. The last thing he would want is an infection, he mentally chastised himself for not being ready for this king of situation as the driver kept riding down the path.

“Now then,” the driver started. “are you sure we aren’t going to have any more visitors for us now?” he sighed and shook his head. “Because I’m not sure if I’m not ready for another skirmish.”

“No, that was all of them,” The ranger sighed, “at least all of the ones that I ever met. I doubt they would risk going after us again for a while.”

“Alright…” the driver shook his head. He looked ahead, and he finally saw the wooden gates to a large village out of the woods. He could finally see his destination on the horizon. He smiled and sighed in relief. “who were those guys anyway? What even is this Bull-something?”

“Bull Crew.” Vedetta clarified. “They’s just a bunch of stupid orphan boys angry at the world. They picked the name because they thought it’d make them sound tough.” She chuckled to herself.

“Yeah well, for a bunch of stupid orphan boys, they nearly played you for a fiddle.” The driver huffed. “Are you sure that’s all of them?”

“How the Hell should I know?” Vedetta snapped back. “I only ever met that small handful you saw back there. And how was I supposed to know they was gonna go back on the deal?”

“You got one of their own sleeping beneath your feet.” The driver shook his head. “They sold out one of their own to you, a complete stranger, because you wiggled some money or your ass at them.” He raised his right arm in a shrugging motion. “That didn’t tip you off? You know that they don’t seem like the type to stick to a deal?”

“Well I didn’t know they was gonna come all this way after me?” The ranger shook her head. “Besides, what’s it matter? They ain’t gonna come after us no more. We made sure of that.”

“Yeah, at no small expense of my carriage.” The driver sighed.

“So? You’ll still be getting half the bounty on this fella, here.” She gently kicked the unconscious elf on the floorboards.

“Oh, I know.” The driver turned to face her. “I am going to make sure that I get my half of the bounty after all this. You and I miss, are gonna be spending a lotta time together in the near future, so I hope you aren’t already sick o’ this mug.”

The ranger laughed and shook her head. “Whatever…” she shrugged her shoulders but grunted in pain as she did so. She raised her hand and tightly gripped the wound on her shoulder.

The driver turned his attention back to the road. He still had to do his end of the job and make sure everyone made it to Loudwater in one peace. So far, getting that job done was more difficult than he could ever imagine, but its not like it was anything under his control.

“And you, frilly boy.” She looked over at the wizard who helped her. “I’ll tell you what, you handled yourself well back there. What’chu say if I buy you a round or two at the inn when we get there?”

“Sure…” the wizard chuckled. “and I’m not a frilly boy, I got a name…”

The ranger shook her head and turned her gaze back at him. “Alright boy, then tell me, what’s your name?”

“It’s Pilienries…” the wizard nodded. “But you can just call me Pil…”

#dnd #fanfic #5th edition #backstory

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elegiesforshiva · 5 years

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This is a review for the amazing sasusaku fanfic Perpetual Winter by @thefangirlslair It’s a brilliant modern AU and I highly recommend it!!! You can read it on fanfiction.net or tumblr :)))) FF: c l i c kkkk Tumblr: Part I, Special Chapter, Part II And time for a criminally late and obscenely long review!!!

Pt I

Winter has never been his favorite season

Damn what an intro, I’m already getting angst vibes lmao. I really like how you set the scene and stage the world of this AU. I didn’t expect the existence of clans in this piece, with it being a modern AU, but this is such a fascinating twist on the setting to me. I loved how you described Naruto’s endurance as unnatural, “like there’s a demon living inside him” and Sasuke and his clan have inexplicable warmth….inexplicable do I dare say…fire ???? ;))))))

Lmao seriously what a great way to pay homage to canon though. I love these attributes!

Modern au Sasuke that reads poetry and drinks coffee is a brand of pretentiousness I can get behind

Aaaaaaa omg I really REALLY REALLY fucking love this intro! I love how you describe Sasuke as appreciating liveliness, and vibrance—which we can honestly assume is canon with how his two closest people are the embodiment of these traits. And I love how you tie it back into the seasons. This really gives so much life to that motif in this story, and the title. That was clever af

…he was taken back to the time where winter was just a mere season, Bon Iver was playing on their shared earphones, and Sakura was his.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING DESTROYED ME WHAT A WAY TO SEGWAY INTO THE NEXT SCENE OOOOF IM KSJDFHLJSAKFL

There are so many things I love about this following scene… you really know how to write a couple in casual, mutual love. The banter and candidness of their interaction just has me floored. I also REALLY love that this is from Sasuke’s perspective, and how even though he doesn’t have an overwhelming amount of dialogue, we’re in his head, and his appreciation and love for Sakura just radiates. Lines like these:

From her latest discovered band to a recent discovery in medicine by a genius dude whose name he doesn’t even remember, she shares it with him. Favorite anime character, favorite memory with him, favorite pair of underwear — he knows it all because she’s that open to him about things she love.

They’re just….so good. I can hear his voice, his ardor, and his impeccable understanding of Sakura’s personality while also expressiong his own. The choice of having the narrative skewed through his lens was def a good decision. And ugh this piece is just overwhelmingly amazing already

He doesn’t know the pain to be dealt with when you’ve broken up with someone because Sakura was his first girlfriend. And honestly, he doesn’t, couldn’t, even think about being apart from her. Just the thought of them breaking up already makes him panic a little. He always thought to himself, ‘I will never let that happen.’

Okay this paragraph……………this paragraph tho……..dropping this. KNOWING. They’re gonna break up……….HOW DARE U

Seriously, what powerful writing. I don’t know how you do it……

I think it’s incredibly interesting that you chose music to be the catalyst for this beautiful, climactic moment of closeness My best friend/partner and I have had convos before about it, and she and i once talked about how we think of sex with music lol. I don’t know how to entirely explain myself on that, or where I’m really going with this, but I get the same vibe here too. Music that’s close to you is like an artistic intimacy and there’s something very personal and vulnerable about it. Maybe it’s an auditory thing, like getting lost in one of those guided meditations. (idk if you’ve ever had one that actually worked, they don’t always for me, but when they do god damn, it’s unreal) Either way, I really loved the way this scene played out, it was highly relatable and highly emotional, and I feel serenity and ardor just reading it. Beautifully done.

I love the way you moved back to the present and we immediately feel the differences and the similarities. The fondness and affection is still there, if not a little more muted, and it’s so obvious they still have feelings for each other. But there’s definitely moments that speak to their separation too, with the little differences in Sakura that Sasuke notices, or instances like her no longer drinking coffee or him deciding to open the door.

I really like how you inserted the interaction with Kakashi too. One thing I’m quickly noticing about this fic and your writing is how you very stealthily relay information to us readers. It’s seamless and entertaining, and I’m learning about this world and the past in ways that are so attention grabbing I don’t even notice it.

Also Itachi’s death and the way you handled it from Sasuke’s pov is so reminiscent of canon and also so gut wrenching. The lines

How dare Itachi leave him alone? How dare Itachi sacrifice himself and die? How dare Itachi pass his responsibilities onto his shoulders…

especially gutted me because of how is stands in stark parallels to the Sasuke we know in canon. This really smacked my head around with feels….poor Sasuke

OMFG POOR SASUKE !!!?!?!??!?!??!? THAT ENDING OOOLOGDSLGFSLKDGHLSDHFLKDFHVSLKV WHAT A FUCKING CURVE BALL LMAO

I mean maybe I should have seen that coming because like of course!!! But also I’M LOSING M Y SHIT HAHAHAHAAA

I can’t wait to see how this unfolds!!!!!

Special Chapter

This is such a powerful scene to start with. Itachi’s entire character was such a major influence in canon and seeing the way his death is affecting everyone now is so emotional. I feel so bad for Sasuke, having to take on all the burdens Itachi had left behind for him.

Also these lines:

“Mikoto cried, “Don’t you think it’s too soon? I just buried my first-born just barely a week ago and now we’re discussing how you’re gonna ruin my youngest’s life just like you did with Itachi?!”

The way her voice cracked when she said his brother’s name broke his heart. She’s still grieving, probably forever, and here they are talking about Sasuke’s suicide.”

Literally killed me. Dead. Deceased. Fallen to the Void. It’s so brilliant and powerful, and speaks so deeply on their dysfunctional family dynamics and feelings with so few lines. Really loved this…

This next scene was so stark and sad and beautiful. I meant to comment and pull lines again, but I couldn't stop reading tbh. Sasuke's thoughts and emotions concerning Sakura are so vividly gentle and full of praise. There's such a soft worship in the way you write his feelings towards her and tbh it's my absolute and only interpretation of feelings I care for concerning the depiction of their relationship. Still, you do this with a certain cleverness and mastery. It's really so moving for me...

The dream sequence that follows is absolutely debilitating, but so well done. I got the sense it was a dream only a few lines in just from the bluntness of the lines. It was truly very dream-like lol. I really could feel the panic and guilt along all of his inner turmoil. It's incredibly horrific to have such a dream about murder just after Itachi's too. This was devastating.

I really loved the way Sakura calms him groom the panic/anxiety attack. I've actually had a similar experience once, where I woke up from a nightmare and I was very frightened and stiff and couldn't really articulate myself. I remember I had felt deep horror and self loathing and nothing else. (I still remember the nightmare too, it was horrible.) My best friend at the time just threw herself on the bed and held me.

It's so crazy how grounding touch can be. I really felt that with Sasuke and Sakura too. The comfort she offers him is so seamless to her character and so ardently palpable. The repetition of "I got you" really touched me especially. It breaks my heart knowing the inevitable end of their relationship to come.

Oooooohhhh daaamnnnnn

I did NOT see the raunchy sex coming lmfao!! Although in hindsight, I probably should have. You already told us how they tend to get down and dirty when emotions run high with the arguments and make-up sex. I imagine this is instigated by Sasuke often, with him struggling to articulate his need for Sakura verbally so he does so physically. And I imagine Sakura is just kinky enough to crave this sort of animal want.

I do love how sexual interactions are easily moving in tandem with their emotions, how it just feels like another mode of communication. Sasuke breaking down during it leaves me feeling so tender too. It's tragic

She smiled. Sasuke doesn't know if he wants that smile or not.

These exit lines are going to fucking kill me istg

The following events honestly hurts to read because Damn haven't we all been there... the fallout of a relationship to the point where you're just dragging it through the mud… it’s a true deterioration of soul and you capture that slow death so well. I really feel terrible for Sakura—Sasuke too—but it sucks for her to be in the dark like this.

I love the way you write Karin!!! Honestly, I think it really mirrors the way she's written in canon. She's cold and strategically loud and generally calculating and overall kind of apathetic. She doesn't really know the value of meaningful relationships (and therefore doesn't prioritize them) until much later on in the series. I definitely get this sense of her here too. She's a little cold, but not cruel, and she has the pragmatic values of her and Sasuke's union in mind as she agrees to it all. I really like how you made her personality come through here.

Meanwhile there’s him, sucking all the hard traits from their father. His competitive streak, arrogant way of speaking, harsh words — it’s all Fugaku. And suddenly, he feels so exhausted.

This line hit me so hard. I love this fic already for an endless number of reasons but a striking one is how well you interrogate the relationships between family. When you described Itachi’s death as Sasuke losing a part of him, I really felt that. And here when you write about the way Sasuke takes after Fugaku and hates it and is also exasperated from it, just like how his father likely is, it just runs bone deep. You really know how to speak to life experiences and relationships in consistently intimate ways. I love that about you

This is his reality now — no more dream, no more Itachi; and pretty soon, no more Sakura.

’It hurts,’ Sasuke thought. 'It hurts, aniki.’

Wow death by angst lmao thanks for the pain, maren, glad to know you like to torture your readers as much as our ninja babies. Srsly tho the cadence of these lines and the material itself sync up perfectly. It’s such powerful writing

This entire scene is stuffed to the brim with dread and turbulence, and it’s so lifelike, I feel it’s haunting. The way you describe the suffocating atmosphere of the car ride, how Sasuke snaps at Sakura for simply knowing that something is up, the awkwardness of the dinner… You really brought so much passion into these scenes, I feel like I’m being tortured right with them lol

I looooooove the drama of this playing out omg. The way you have this convo go down is like a punch to the gut. Sakura announcing her acceptance to Harvard, and then her refusal to go. Sasuke knowing he’s the reason why…the guilt…the anger…

Also omfg these lines:

Sasuke hardened his resolve and stiffly said, “No. I don’t need you, Sakura.”

’Yes, I do.’

Sakura shook her head, “Yes, you do.”

I DIED. Sakura callin’ him out on his bull shit I fucking LOST IT lmaooOOooo I love this so much and I love how you write their dynamic! It’s funny how this fic plays into a lot of romantic clichés but also subverts them—gives them a twist that knocks the reader right off their feet. It’s honestly incredible

I loved the way you brought in winter into this scene too. The image of it, the feel of it, the terrible, lonely tone. It suits the entire mood of it all.

This is going to sound super dumb but I genuinely love how much agency you give Sakura btw. You probably know I’m a raging, batshit feminist by now and I gotta say, her dialogue is consistently powerful and reeks of someone who knows who they are, and their worth, even when in the fallout of a relationship where they are getting the short end of the stick. Like I’m just sitting here reading “Sasuke, you dumb jackass, what are you doing” lmfaoooo LIKE GURL I WOULD TREAT U SO GOOD…. SAKU BB IM SO SORRY BUT ALSO TRUST I KNOW HOW IT BE

I really do love it. And I love how you wrote Sakura as an orphan too. It really flips the script on the canon material (eat shit, kishimoto!! Women can have trauma and real backstories not centered around men, u misogynistic pile of adskjfhsklhfalkd) I just feel she’s very well written, and tangible, and powerfully human. I’d be just as smitten as Sasuke tbh

The last scene is so upsetting… it’s also strangely warming too though. It’s terrible Sasuke’s been broken down like this, but there’s something about this scene where he feels raw, and expresses his pain in a very infantile way, literally crying out to his mother about how it hurts. I really feel he’s been stripped of not just his life, but himself, under the weight of Itachi’s death and all that’s come with it, and it makes my heart ache. I loved this chapter, in all it’s infinite sadness.

Part II

He closed his eyes and thought about his talk with his father earlier, “We’re okay now. He called me while I was with Itachi.”

Love the ease and depth of this single line of dialogue. How Itachi is not alive but is still with him, and how it speaks to the way we humans grieve and the continuity and strength of relationships even after someone leaves. It’s just very simple and human, and it popped out at me.

He couldn’t even remember the last time they talked on the phone, or the last time he heard Fugaku as a father, not as the Uchiha patriarch.

Uggghhhhhhh this is exactly how I felt Fugaku was like in canon too. This fic is just full of brilliance, I really adore the way you describe all the relationships, but the complexity between Sasuke’s and Fugaku’s is really striking to me. You nail it perfectly.

And this whole intro where Fugaku apologizes to Sasuke and tells him he is proud…. I feel as if a major levee has been broken. While he’s in front of Itachi’s grave too. This Sasuke really has that same parallel with the one in canonverse where I feel he is held back by his family trauma, family obligations, the weight of blood. And this scene feels like a breaking point. Where Sasuke can be a man instead of an Uchiha, in the same way Fugaku gives him this moment as a father instead of an Uchiha patriarch. It certainly feels like a cleansing of sorts.

Once you thought you’re over it, one pink-haired beacon of spring will bloom in your eternal winter and blow all your progress into next week. What a woman. He will never find anyone better.

AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! this IS what I mean!!! His inner thoughts of her ugh….i’m so weak…Sasuke you lovesick fool…. And the return of the beautiful seasons motif. I love this so much

You can say they were drunk — with liquor, with each other, with love.

I just adore this line. It really emphasizes the vibe of their past relationship and the picture as a whole, and just that electric feeling of being consumed with someone. The description and cadence of it is just really catching, and I love it

God, this entire scene. Damn, maren. It’s criminal how well you write the tension of such a casual conversation. It feels as if an interrogation of sorts is occurring, and yet it’s still a heartwarming kind. Sakura is not vicious or mal-intentioned in inquiries and yet it still leaves Sasuke weak and defenseless if only because of his feelings for her. There’s so many ways you assert it too. It’s in every line, every detail. This one in particular stood out to me:

Sasuke clenched his fist under the table and scoffed, “I hope my mother didn’t tell you how miserable I was.”

'Still am,’ he corrected in his mind. 'How miserable I still am.’

I remember you used this particular tactic when also describing Itachi’s feelings from Sasuke’s POV. (Something along the lines of how he does became how he did because he is gone) In this fic where time is moving back and forward in a non-linear fashion, these details are especially striking. Despite the changes and pushes and pull, this one fact is consistent—Sasuke loves Sakura. And we, as readers, relearn it with every line.

Also I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOvE that Mikoto saw Sakura off, and that there is this undertone of a bond. Like ughhhhh I’ve so been there, where there’s that depth of understanding between women and relationships that men don’t always know about or know how to grapple with it. My ex resented me for it lmfao

Adkjfasklfalsjdkfakls SASUKE CAN RELATE TO HIM APPARENTLY AHAHAHAAHHA B SNAPPEDDDD I totally get it though, it’s a little intrusive of Sakura to ask for that, but we all also know why she did. Poor saku bb is in love with this emotionally constipated idiot lmao. Oh I love the endless pining and miscommunication of it all !!!

“I thought you’d be here,” a voice came and knocked on the closed door of his heart. He turned his face towards it, he saw her and suddenly his doors came opening again.

The winter sun was directly behind her, giving her this eerie glow. Like a nymph; a spring nymph being born in his perpetual winter. He shivered inside.

Back at it again with that seasonal motif !!!! ugh you are killing me. I also really loved the phrase “knocked on the closed door of his hear.” You really have such a way with these metaphors and images, it’s so striking and makes the narrative of this piece so brilliant

and silence is a comfortable companion back then. When they became lovers, it was like their platonic third-wheel aside from Naruto.

Ngl I busted out laughing on that one. “aside from Naruto” hahaaaa I love the way you include him in this fic tbh. He’s not a very big focus, but he still feels like an integral part of this story, not just as Sasuke’s best friend, but also as another device to unite Sasuke and Sakura. Also he’s pretty fantastic comic relief, probably just as much for the two of them as for the reader.

I really love the way this convo goes down, and the change of scenery from the coffee shop to the playground. Considering the way their love at this point is founded in nostalgia (and perhaps something else, but let’s ignore that for a second) it’s so fitting for them to finally stripping away the masks and cloaks and being genuine with one another—Sakura talking about how she knew all along, and Sasuke finally admitting he still loves her.

I also loved that Karin broke off the engagement!!!!!! And how she did it and how you described it ughghhghg I love this. You really spoke to her character growth and development in canon too. It’s trivial compared to everything else that’s going on, but I love it.

…the pink of her hair, the green of her irises and the gold of the sun slowly setting down behind her.

Sasuke couldn’t see her clearly anymore, only the faint glow of her weeping eyes and the halo on her head made by the sun.

You think you’re slick don’t you…you think you’re some kind of mastermind with these subtle references/images…..well guess what bitch….YOU ARE

I looooove how you tied the music back in. Ugh this departure!! MY HEART!!! Also I’m seeing a handful of songs I love including OUR BOIIIII !!!! rex orange county uhhghhgjak maren this is the romance of a lifetime I AM WEAK

Ughh the forehead kiss…..that was so sweet. I loved Sakura’s choice to give him that bit of affection. This scene is so beautifully intimate, despite their positions.

Omg I FINISHED HOLY SHIT!!! And Sasuke doesn’t get back with her! Wow! Honestly, as much as my shipper heart is like, violently frothing at the mouth and saying “okay they totally got back together down the line tho like THEY HAD TO THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER WHAT IS TH—" I actually have such a deep appreciation for this ending. Their relationship in this almost feels dream-like, and with the way the story unfolds, even if they still loved each other in the end (and I really don’t doubt that they do. We don’t have Sakura’s perspective, but we also don’t need it. the affections are clear) it doesn’t mean they will end up together or are even really suited for each other in such a way.

Their love in this actually really reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Have you seen that movie? I just really get that vibe at the end. This entire romance cuts very deep and is very passionate and leaves me feeling so whimsical. I really loved this story, Maren… thank you for sharing it with all of us. thank you for writing it. You’re really one of a kind and you and this story has my whole heart <333

Also I’m sorry this is so late, but when I said I am going to write you a review, what I meant was I am going to write you a review. This English degree is good for nothing but sending elaborate love letters to friends and writers in the form of literary analyses and stupid overreactions and BY GOD I WILL NOT LET THIS CRIPPLING COLLEGE DEBT GO TO WASTE !!!

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #ik its been like a year im sorry #but ily and ur my fav 5evr pls marry me maren my love

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shitfics · 5 years

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hi, im a fanfic writer who is trying to break into original fiction and publication. i noticed in the notes of one of your short stories that you were trying to write longer chapters. One of my favourite stories by you, One of These Nights is 90,000+ over 11 chapters. what kind of advice would you give to someone like me who struggles to break over 2,500 words per chapter? how can i work to make my chapters longer and still be interesting like yours? thank you x

Oh gosh, thank you so much! I'm hoping to break into original stuff too, and maybe get published, but don't have much hopes for it yet...still slugging away at my wip. ^^; It's sweet that you hold my stuff highly! And I'm sorry this got a bit long…I'm not good at being succinct when trying to talk about writing things, since I still feel so clueless myself. I’ve put most of the rambling behind a read more.

For me really, writing longer things has just taken time…not in the sense of taking time to write a story (tho obvs it does), but like, each thing I wrote naturally got longer and longer as I got more used to storytelling, I guess? At this point, I think everything I write is almost too long, so I'm wondering what story it was I wanted longer chapters on…lol. It was kinda like lifting weights in a way, lol��I took a long time before I could get to 90k, and you can kinda see how each story got longer and longer (copy and paste was 12k, synchronicity/book of blood were around 20k, da au was 40k in part one/60k in part 2, and the hyung au was 90kish).

Ofc I have a few breaks from that pattern, but those were kinda 'side projects' for fun that I wanted to keep short, like the esports ontae. Wherever you're at right now in terms of overall story length, I think writing regularly is the most important for building the "endurance" for longer stories and scenes -- and being as patient with yourself as you can about getting there is ideal. It’s a lot like working yourself up to lifting heavier weights, imo.(And full disclaimer though, my confidence/mental health wrt my writing is generally rock bottom, so I know it's not easy lol.)

Once I got into writing longer stories, I've kinda grown to see writing as having two kinda moods: gut-level writing, stuff you HAVE to get down and are dying to write, and the 'fill-in', less exciting parts or parts you really have to discipline yourself to get through.

For writing fic (especially shorter fic), I know I started with just gut-level writing. And for short stuff, that's generally all you need! I really struggled (and still kinda do) when I got to the point where that wasn't enough to fill in a long story, but I've kinda found a way of dealing it.

I don't know if it's a good habit, depending on how you work and how your ideas come about, but for me, I start by writing as much as possible for the scenes I do have fairly established in my head, then create an outline and fill in/revise the rest. It makes it easier for me to feel like I'm working off of inspiration and not just a rigid outline, so I get a good mix of the story/characters 'developing naturally' and 'not going entirely off the rails.' I will say that I think I struggle with endings because of it tho, since the 'gut-level' stuff for me rarely/never touches that part of the story. I usually have to outline to figure out where I want things to end up or what I want to show last.

For the your chapters question -- I'm not sure if by 'chapters' you might mean scene (since a lot of people break things up that way), or if you just mean in terms of other chapter divisions, but I'm gonna try and address both!

Personally, I don't really think in terms of chapters, if that makes sense? That part comes way later when I'm writing. Like right now, I'll be honest and say I don't have set 'chapter' divisions in my head yet for my wip, lol, tho the scenes might be long enough for stand-alone chapters. When I start a story (either with just inspiration or from an outline), it's a matter of scenes, and then after that, I figure out how many scenes I want in a chapter and what would feel "right" in terms of dividing them.

Usually, when I end a chapter it's either because it's an emotional high-point, it feels like a "natural" place to break (due to a jump forward in time for the next scene/resolution to a current conflict), or it's somewhere I need to change the point of view (if I'm writing a story with multiple). Like, for a high-point, I'd think of ending after the scene in hyung au where Jinki comes out, or in the esports thing, where ontae sleep together the first time. For "natural" break places, it's often a matter of time/resolutions, like…jongyu parting ways before jinki starts japanese promotions in hyung au, or in my current wip, them kinda breaking up for a few months after a fight. Pov changes for breaks are pretty self-explanatory and I could go on forever about how I try to pick which pov to use for a scene/chapter, but I think the most important thing is to use those breaks to avoid confusion.

As far as interest goes -- making sure scenes have enough "meat" to them without dragging can be hard, esp if you're trying to setup a plot. Imo, scenes are interesting when there's conflict or emotional high points of some kind (which can be a lot of different things). Once you figure out which of those you want in a scene, I think it gets easier to write around that. Like, to go back to hyung au, when Jinki came to visit Jong at Blue Night and they hung out after -- I started the scene just knowing I wanted Jinki to surprise him, because I thought that'd be cute.

So in thinking about what purpose the scene might serve to move things forward…I knew mood-wise I wanted to capture some more of the uncertainty of how to act around each other, now that they're both know the other is gay, have Jinki be torn between making a move/confessing and his fear of changing things for the worse, set them up for some messy revelation of feelings in the next scene, and ofc have them both be horny because how else are you gonna feel being around your crush for the first time in a month.

Once that was kinda setup in my head, it was easier to fill in what the characters say/how they act. Jinki flirts with Jong on air, because that's 'safe' (it can't go anywhere since they're in a studio and it'd be easy to dismiss as not serious since he's in Onew-mode), Jong is defs very

And as another note…. I just think some parts are always going to be difficult to write, because we all have different strengths when it comes to writing. Like, I hate writing setting descriptions, so I don't do it much and generally provide a bare-minimum for scene context -- but when I need more for the purpose of mood or plot or whatever, it feels like pulling teeth. Since it's such a miserable process for me, and that's so long, I assume that means it sucks or it's a real slog for whoever's reading it, but…they don't always correlate.

Not every part of a project is gonna be fun -- which sucks! -- but it's also why it's important to take mental breaks and imo, step away from your story at milestones. It's not great to make yourself miserable for writing, (I say while I doing just that most of the time), but I think going in with the knowledge that it IS going to be hard sometimes can help. The more stories you write, the more you'll be able to hone your instinct for like...if you're struggling because there's something wrong with the plot/scene/prose or if it's just because writing be like that sometimes.

Oof, this got too long, and I don’t even know how much of it is useful, but I hope it might help a bit? Thank you again for the compliment and best of luck with your writing!!

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