#i think i do well with his speech patterns and behavior especially regarding troubles and how he overcame them with time going on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crystalsenergy · 3 years

Text

how to improve Saturn placements? - evolving our personality #1

the purpose of this text is to bring a possibility to improve negative points in us from other positions [which you may or may not have in your natal chart]. sometimes the potential for improvement is already outlined as a trend inside yourself. other times the potential will need to be created. but as long as you assume that you need to improve, you are already taking the first step.

I'm going to put positions according to this post here about the shadows of our personality, leaving from the assumption that what brings us more suffering may be precisely in these positions cited in the post.

SATURN PLACEMENTS

Saturn in Aries / Saturn in 1st house -> Jupiter in 1st house

in other words, you need to learn to have more self-confidence, a dose of trusting yourself more easily, being less afraid of starting things, getting to know something new, or picking up on something you've already started. you need more willpower, to notice more positive things about yourself. it's also important to note that you may have a tendency to be more closed in admitting your problems. the construction of awareness about your individuality needs to take place. you must be optimistic and less pessimistic about yourself and your potential.

Saturn in Taurus / Saturn in 2nd house -> Venus in 2nd house / Venus in Taurus

Saturn in Taurus or in the 2nd house brings the problem of lack of self-worth, of not being able to feel good enough for some situations. there may be a certain pessimism (not as strong as that of Saturn in the 9th house), but a "certainty" that things won't work out in the area of finance and love. it may be that ppl feel bad about they value to someone, it may be that they have trouble finding satisfaction in things, they may have difficulty feeling loved enough and/or supplied by the things around them. thus, those who have this placement need to notice patterns in themselves of not valuing themselves, not feeling good enough for a specific goal or person. self-worth in the sense of beauty, aesthetics and value seen by others is something to be worked on, primarily from the inside. taking as an example Venus in Taurus, excellent position to notice where you need to improve, it is important that you see your value, know how to relax, enjoy small pleasures in life, learn to invest in yourself, see the value of money and your efforts, and always continue to be persistent.

Saturn in Gemini / Saturn in 3rd house -> Mercury in Gemini / Mars in 3rd house

considering what a native with Saturn in Gemini or in the 3rd house tends to feel, it's important that these people learn to incorporate some points, which necessarily need to include: self-confidence in speech and ability to express themselves without censorship. this can be helped especially by Mercury in Gemini and Mars in the 3rd house (or also Mars in Gemini). It's important that you understand the need to speak what you think, not unthinkingly - which I imagine would be very difficult to happen, knowing this position -, but in a more confident way, even a little impulsive in some situations (emphasizing: some situations). It's important to allow your head to function naturally with regard to your mental processes and thoughts so that you will learn to express yourself without so many internal limitations.

Saturn in Cancer / Saturn in 4th house -> Uranus in 4th house

in other words, you need to develop less emotional dependency. you must be more open about your inner life, and you must learn to develop a healthy dichotomy, not the duality that this placement tends to bring: Saturn in Cancer / in the 4th house brings a tendency to become more emotionally closed, conveying an impression to others that you are very well resolved and live well with almost everything in life. this is a need Saturn gives to people: need for control. but this control may not always be healthy, as it's most often. Saturn tends to create a strong possibility of extreme behaviors, due to the internal fear and rigidity that are generated. the person is constantly closing in, but she/he is extremely vulnerable. however, what must be learned from Uranus in the 4th house is another duality, a little healthier and more advantageous for those who have this position: that of being more open about internal issues, but also not being dependent.

Saturn in Leo / Saturn in 5th house -> Sun in Leo

there is no way for me to talk about improving this Saturn placement without mentioning Sun in Leo. bearing in mind that Saturn in Leo and the 5th house gives a tendency to ppl feel less able to express themselves, less able to show the world their potential, their abilities, or simply appearing, it's important that the opposite is nurtured by the native: it's necessary to understand that yes, you have an individual power, you have potential that can be worked, we all do. you have the capacity to achieve something, to ascend, to lead, if necessary. and it's also necessary to work on the idea of self-esteem and on the construction of a less fragile ego (which exists in a healthy Sun in Leo).

Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in 6th house -> Mars in Virgo, Uranus in 6th house

two things need to be worked on at the same time: discipline and your ability to be less rigid. yes, it's quite dual, almost opposite. but that's what happens with Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in the 6th house, often the natives can't move because of an excessive concern with details, because they think too much about everything, charge themselves even before the task is started, which it brings an air of rigidity and discipline, but it's exactly what keeps them from moving out of place: excess. with regard to the excess rigidity that causes a person to freeze, Uranus in the 6th house can help, given the energy of more unpredictability and independence from patterns and the like. another thing that is also likely to occur with this Saturn placement is procrastination and wasting time on frivolous things, as well as an aura of laziness (which creates tremendous guilt). with regard to this problem, Mars in Virgo (or Mars in the 6th house) can help, as this placement of Mars is pure fuel to be practical, agile, diligent and organized.

Saturn in Libra / Saturn in 7th house -> Venus in Libra, Uranus in 7th house

this position generates in people a dichotomy of being closed to love and emotional situations, but, at the same time, being very dependent on loving relationships, for fear of loss, of being alone. to the point of a person who blocks too much from getting into relationships, Venus in Libra can help by bringing a desire to be with someone in a healthier way, from the idea of sharing something with the other person, of living together and feel good from the company of other. on the other hand, as it's also necessary to take care of the dependency issue, Uranus in the 7th house is very useful, so that the person doesn't have an extreme need for the other to the point of getting lost in the middle of it and not being able to go out anymore. It's important to be open to love, but always understanding that a little independence, valuing the individuality of the other, can also be good.

Saturn in Scorpio / Saturn in 8th house -> Mars in Scorpio, Uranus in 8th house

these Saturn placements bring a great fear of change, an aversion to being psychologically open. here, there is a person who seems impenetrable because he/she hides his/her fears, traumas and problems. these people don't like to break taboos. for being somewhat conservative and closed minded to everything that the sign and the house placed means, it's very important that they know the need to be more open to different circumstances of life. it's important to understand that it's part of life: being intimate with others, knowing deeper and even 'dark' sides of yourself, understanding sex as something natural (Mars in Scorpio will help with these things); besides it's also important to understand that it's part of life to have psychological transformations, a greater openness to taboos and to understand human complexity (Uranus in the 8th house will help with this). thus, you'll be able to reach another level in your life.

Saturn in Sagittarius / Saturn in 9th house -> Uranus in 9th house

one of the marks of Saturn in Sagittarius is the issue of redemption to some philosophy or ready-made idea that aims to explain life. here, the native has a great fear of being impacted by the depth of knowledge - depth that marks the uncertainty of life and its ephemerality -, and therefore, the tendency of this native is to hide behind a philosophy or 'certainty' that supports and gives comfort. therefore, people tend to close themselves off and live in a tremendous comfort zone, or rather a bubble, in which only what they have decided to accept as the general premise of their life makes sense. it can also generate a lot of pessimism, a more closed and even prejudiced view of other people. thus, it's more than necessary to understand that life is much more than what you heard in some corner when you were child and that you share within yourself today, there are several truths, but none of them is absolute. and that's the grace of life, knowing more and more, and understanding the value of diversity and the impossibility of being sure of something all the time. open up to other philosophies of life, religion, get out of your comfort zone, question things and your limiting beliefs more. don't cover yourself so much in relation to higher education and have more autonomy when knowing a deeper subject, don't depend on someone for that. all of this can be learned through Uranus in the 9th house.

Saturn in Capricorn / Saturn in 10th house -> Mars in Capricorn

this position of Saturn is one of the least painful that Saturn can bring, however, on the other hand, it can increase in the dose of rigidity and vision totally focused on what is concrete, objective, earthly, forgetting other sides of life. and despite not being one of the worst positions to have on Saturn, it brings many difficulties with regard to career and achieving goals. either because the person feels incapable, having some internal blockage, a mistaken idea of her/himself, of her/his potential, or because during her life the person ends up encountering many barriers to finally ascend professionally. in this situation, it's extremely necessary for the native to use all the energy she/he has in order to put the will and potential out. this is made possible more powerfully by what represents Mars in Capricorn, a placement of great ambition, but which represents the capacity that may be lacking in these placements of Saturn.

Saturn in Aquarius / Saturn in 11th house -> Venus in Aquarius, Uranus in 11th house

one of the things that these positions bring most difficulty to a person is the tendency for them to exclude themselves from others, either for fear of group acceptance, or for not feeling good about being with other people, preferring solitude. this positioning brings a behavior of being more independent, having few friends and being more closed to others. you may also be more closed-minded to try original, new, and surprising things, even if you have the creativity to do so. another problem to be faced is a strong tendency not to trust people. Venus in Aquarius and Uranus in the 11th house help with this because the first placement is more focused on living in a group, making friends, representing a more sociable person, and the second doesn't fail to cultivate people's independence, but still remains open to friendships.

Saturn in Pisces / Saturn in 12th house -> Sun in Pisces, Moon in Pisces

this is a dense, complicated position, which gives people a feeling that they must be completely rigid and closed to their inner life, their inner space, but the more people try to escape, the more they are led to face this side of their personality. this position represents problems with mental health, issues of closing oneself to deeper contacts with people, difficulty with empathy, altruism. the person can be made to think more often about life, and have existential crises. Moon in Pisces and Sun in Pisces can help with these strong sensations as the placements bring greater openness to introspection, which makes the person less tempted to close off from the inner reflections - which will arise!! -, making the person too able to be more selfless and to show her/his compassion and empathy for others more openly.

#saturn placements #saturn in houses #saturn in signs #shadow #shadow personality #astrology #psychology #astrology tips #astrology psychological

159 notes · View notes

ghostietea · 3 years

Text

Furuba autistic headcanons

With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.

Hanajima

Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.

Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.

Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.

Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.

Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.

Hatsuharu

Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.

Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.

Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.

When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.

Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.

Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.

His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.

Machi

Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.

Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.

Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.

Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.

Once again, trouble socializing.

Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."

Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.

Tohru

Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.

Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.

While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.

Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.

Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.

Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.

Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests

Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom

Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.

Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations

Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.

But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.

Akito

Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.

Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.

Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:

Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."

Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.

Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.

Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.

Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.

Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.

Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!

Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.

Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.

Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.

Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.

Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.

Does not understand when people tease her.

Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #saki hanajima #machi kuragi #hatsuharu sohma #actually autistic #meta

195 notes · View notes

whitehotharlots · 3 years

Text

A movement that cannot be criticized cannot achieve positive goals

The hardest part of talking about malignant trends on the broad left is that, well, you’re not allowed to talk about them. It’s no exaggeration to say that criticism has become fully conflated with violence. If you attempt to engage critically with a left-liberal writer--regardless of how thorough and respectful you may be, and regardless of how powerful, public, or insulated the subject of the criticism--you will be accused of dismissing and erasing the writer, of inciting violence against the writer, and of committing some form of genocide against whichever identity groups the writer belongs to.

Conversely, if you don’t provide specifics, you’ll be accused of making stuff up. The same people who claim it’s an act of aggression to ask for proof when they make claims of victimization turn into immense pedants the moment they encounter a heterodox opinion.

Unsurprisingly, a discourse milieu in which critical analysis is forbidden is a prime breeding ground for unsustainable (and even horrific) behavioral standards. Never mind improving the world that exists outside their sphere of influence... these people are perpetually on the brink of destroying their allies, their institutions, and themselves.

Today I dug into an especially profane case that highlights both of these points. It’s a matter of public record, so I hopefully won’t get accused of “doxing” anyone for discussing it. It’s also the sort of story where if someone cares about it, they’ll have an opinion of it within a second or two of reading a headline describing what happened. This means it’ll only be of interest to the sort of cranks who read this blog. My goal here isn’t to express outrage or advocate for one side or other--although it is outrageous, and you won’t have to try too hard to see which side I favor. Instead, I’m going to try to move beyond that, to use this instance as a broader cautionary tale in regards to the more horrific tendencies of the identitarian left, and to begin formulating some means of resistance.

In other words, this might get boring. Even more so than usual.

The story involves a court case, documented here, in which a young man named Kieran Bhattacharya is suing the University of Virginia Medical School. Mr. Bhattacharya (a white supremacist name if I’ve ever heard one) was subjected to formal censure, repeated psychological evaluations, suspension, and eventual expulsion. This all happened because he raised some concerns after a White Fragility-inspired panel on microaggressions.

This is one of those cases where both sides are going to assume there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface and, like I said, are going to be disinclined toward actually reading the available evidence. Thankfully, the court brief is fairly exhaustive and--importantly--the account provided in the brief has received the approval of both plaintiff and defendant. To stress, everyone involved in this case agrees, legally, that the account provided herein is an accurate picture of what happened. Additionally, we also have audio of the initial microaggression seminar (Mr. Bhattacharya’s comments start at around the 28:30 mark), as well as of the pursuant committee meeting that ended in his expulsion.

Here is the initial exchange, as documented by the brief:

Bhattacharya: Hello. Thank you for your presentation. I had a few questions just to clarify your definition of microaggressions. Is it a requirement, to be a victim of microaggression, that you are a member of a marginalized group?

Adams: Very good question. And no. And no—

Bhattacharya: But in the definition, it just said you have to be a member of a marginalized group—in the definition you just provided in the last slide. So that’s contradictory.

Adams: What I had there is kind of the generalized definition. In fact, I extend it beyond that. As you see, I extend it to any marginalized group, and sometimes it’s not a marginalized group. There are examples that you would think maybe not fit, such as body size, height, [or] weight. And if that is how you would like to see me expand it, yes, indeed, that’s how I do.

Bhattacharya: Yeah, follow-up question. Exactly how do you define marginalized and who is a marginalized group? Where does that go? I mean, it seems extremely nonspecific.

Adams: And—that’s intentional. That’s intentional to make it more nonspecific . . . .

After the initial exchange, Bhattacharya challenged Adams’s definition of microaggression. He argued against the notion that “the person who is receiving the microaggressions somehow knows the intention of the person who made it,” and he expressed concern that “a microaggression is entirely dependent on how the person who’s receiving it is reacting.” Id. He continued his critique of Adams’s work, saying, “The evidence that you provided—and you said you’ve studied this for years—which is just one anecdotal case—I mean do you have, did you study anything else about microaggressions that you know in the last few years?” Id. After Adams responded to Bhattacharya’s third question, he asked an additional series of questions: “So, again, what is the basis for which you’re going to tell someone that they’ve committed a microaggression? . . . Where are you getting this basis from? How are you studying this, and collecting evidence on this, and making presentations on it?”

You can listen to the audio if you like. There’s nothing there, in my opinion, that is not captured accurately in the written description. Bhattacharya does not yell or raise his voice. He sounds skeptical, but in no way violent or threatening. Nor does Adams, the presenter, signal that she is experiencing anything that approaches fear or trauma.

Immediately after the event, a professor who helped organize the discussion filed a “Professionalism Concern Card”--a cute academic euphemism for a disciplinary write up--against Bhattacharya, alleging he had displayed a troubling lack of respect for differences (the irony here probably does not need to be explicated).

Soon after that--literally still the same day of the panel--Bhattacharya received an email from faculty asking him to “share his thoughts” so as to help him “understand and be able to cope with unintended consequences of conversations.” The tone of the email is polite and professional, but the text hints toward an attempt at entrapment. You’ll see this a lot in woke spaces--invitations to come to an understanding with one another that are, in actuality, attempts to get a person to say something cancellable.

Bhattacharya took the bait, and, well…

During Bhattacharya and Peterson’s one-hour meeting, Peterson “barely mentioned” Bhattacharya’s questions and comments at the panel discussion. Dkt. 33 ¶ 73. Instead, Peterson attempted to determine Bhattacharya’s “views on various social and political issues—including sexual assault, affirmative action, and the election of President Trump.”

At this point, the kid was fucked. He soon after had an uneventful-seeming meeting with a dean. Two weeks after that, a separate panel found him guilty of “patterns of unprofessional behavior and egregious violations of professionalism” and strongly encouraged him to seek psychological counseling.

Pre-Trump, Bhattacharya still probably would have been fine if he had just kept his head down, gone to a couple therapy sessions, and maybe issued an empty apology. Since 2016, however, the rules have changed. An accusation is now absolute proof of guilt and no amount of ablution can save someone in a vulnerable position.

Eleven days after receiving the ostensible suggestion that he receive counseling, Bhattacharya was informed that he would not be permitted to return to classes until he had been evaluated. A day after that--before even having the opportunity to seek the mandated counseling--he was given a mere 3 hours notice before having to attend another disciplinary committee meeting.

This meeting found that Bhattacharya’s continuing behaviors were proof that he posed an imminent danger to the campus community, although the committee did not bother to explain what those behaviors entailed. His behavior was simply noted as “unusual” and this was proof that “Any patient that walked into the room with [Bhattacharya] would be scared.” The following day, Bhattacharya was forcibly removed from campus and told he could not return until he had been screened. He was, subsequently, not allowed to receive sanctioned screening, because of his status of having been removed from campus after being deemed a security risk.

Again, none of what I have described is an exaggeration. None of these details are even being contested.

Now for my own conjecture: the problem isn’t that anyone genuinely believes Bhattacharya poses a threat to anyone’s safety. The problem is that he attempted to question the ideological firmaments of contemporary anti-racist training. These firmaments are protected with aggressive viciousness precisely because they cannot withstand scrutiny. Had Bhattacharya merely scoffed at them, or even if he had been outright condescending and dismissive, he probably would not have received such a severe punishment. The problem was that he was right, and his accusers knew it.

Understanding speech in the manner prescribed by the peddlers of microaggression theory cannot possibly be codified in a way that won't result in arbitrary punishment. Bhattacharya’s experience demonstrates that with horrific irony.

The assertion here is that the intention of a speech act should have no bearing on how we adjudicate the morality of that speech act--such a point was made repeatedly in the initial discussion, and stressed once again after Bhattacharya’s concerns have been raised. This standard contradicts how we've processed the morality of speech for centuries, but that's what people are very explicitly demanding.

How is this workable, when literally any statement could, conceivably, be considered offensive by at least one individual? This, I feel, was the point Bhattacharya reaching toward. If you were to say, I dunno, "I love trees" to a group of 1000 people, 999 of them could regard that statement as benign. But what if one person takes offense to it? What if they work in the lumber industry, or they were molested by guy in a Smokey the Bear costume? What if that person then files a report accusing the tree lover of offensive speech? Will the speaker be disciplined? Or will the powers that be take intention and effect into account?

Of course, we're not going to criminalize all speech in this way. Like all extreme and broad-reaching disciplinary standards, this one will only be selectively evoked in order to punish people with heterodox opinions and/or those whose presence threatens the status quo. Someone who says something much more incendiary, like "all men are rapists" or "white people shouldn't get social security" would not receive a reprimand regardless of how much offense their statements caused, because they're saying something that's acceptable in our current milieu. And right now, the least acceptable speech is that which shines a light on the manifest flaws and hypocrisies of corporate anti racism.

Back to my hypothetical example, if the tree-loving speaker was on good terms with everyone, the complaint would most likely be ignored. But if he had said or done other things that for whatever reason displeased the people in charge, the specious accusation could still ruin him. What's worse, the person who filed the allegation of offense might not have even actually taken offense at the statement--they were just looking for a way to get rid of him.

Bhattacharya was attempting to voice legitimate criticisms about a political movement whose suggestions are functionally unworkable and that, even if it were implemented fully and uncritically, does not contain even a hypothetical explanation in regards to how its goals would result in improved racial equality/equity. Because of that, he was cynically labeled dangerous and expelled from a public university.

You'd think a group that obsesses over power differentials and their own marginalization would have some grasp of this. Regardless of which side you fall into with this particular culture war, it should fucking terrify you that a movement that’s been tasked with addressing pressing social problems is designed in such a way that any substantial criticism is met with aggressive punishment.

There’s no way you can win if this is you is how conduct yourself. This is why we’re losing. This is why even if you get all the censorship and deplatforming you can ever dream of, even if every major bank and multinational corporatation professes fealty to your movement, you will still lose. Because there’s no way you can win.

82 notes · View notes

jail-crow-of-mandos · 4 years

Text

Is Caranthir Autistic Or Am I Just Projecting: An Autobiography

Yup, here it is. My long-promised autistic Caranthir meta. Although I’m not sure how much of a meta it can be considering Caranthir is only mentioned by name 24 times in the entire Silmarillion, outside of the name index at the end. So here’s the plan: we’re gonna go through every time he’s mentioned and see if it tells us anything about potentially being autistic.

Before we begin. here is the DSM list of requirements for being diagnosed as autistic. Considering how few times we see Caranthir doing stuff in day to day life, odds are we won’t get to the level required for full diagnosis, but it certainly can help support it as a theory.

Requirements:

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction,

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships

At least two of the following: Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech, Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus, Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

With that being said, let’s start at the beginning:

“The seven sons of Fëanor were Maedhros the tall; Maglor the mighty singer, whose voice was heard far over land and sea; Celegorm the fair, and Caranthir the dark; Curufin the crafty, who inherited most of his father’s skill of hand; and the youngest Amrod and Amras, who were twin brothers, alike in mood and face. In later days they were great hunters in the woods of Middle-earth; and a hunter also was Celegorm [...]”

“[Regarding the Oath] Thus spoke Maedhros and Maglor and Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir, Amros and Amras, princes of the Noldor [...]”

Okay these two tell us absolutely nothing about Caranthir in particular, at least for this particular topic. Moving swiftly along.

“But Caranthir, who loved not the sons of Finarfin, and was the harshest of the brothers and the most quick to anger, cried aloud: ‘Yea more! Let not the sons of Finarfin run hither and thither with their tales to this dark Elf in his caves! Who made them our spokesmen to deal with him? And though they be come indeed to Beleriand, let them not so swiftly forget that their father is a lord of the Noldor, though their mother be of other kin”

Now we’re finally getting to the good part. Let’s start at the beginning. “Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity”. Yep. To put that in layman’s terms, it means to have trouble understanding how to navigate conversations in a normal way, often talking out of turn or speaking too harshly. This falls into both of those. On top of that, it also shows signs of “Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships”. He is clearly misreading the situation and attacking Angrod for no real reason outside of being mad about everything. This is not how you speak to a stranger, especially not a diplomat.

One could even argue that it could show signs of “Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior”” and “Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction”. The former could be argued because one could say that he has fallen into a comfortable pattern, and the idea of changing it is deeply distressing to him, hence why he lashed out. The idea of changes happening that he didn’t directly have a say in causes him to panic and react with anger. As far as the latter one goes, given Maedhros’s initial response to Angrod as well as him trying to calm Caranthir down afterwards, one can reasonably assume that his body language was telling his brothers to stay calm and cordial. Caranthir either ignored this deliberately (which would strengthen the prior argument that he struggles maintaining and understanding relationships, given the authority Maedhros has over him) or he simply could not pick up on the nonverbal cues that Maedhros was giving.

“Now the people of Caranthir dwelt furthest east beyond the upper waters of Gelion, about Lake Helevorn under Mount Rerir and to the southward; and they climbed the heights of Ered Luin and looked eastward in wonder, for wild and wide it seemed to them were the lands of Middle-earth. And thus it was that Caranthir's people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand. But though either people loved skill and were eager to learn, no great love was there between them; for the Dwarves were secret and quick to resentment, and Caranthir was haughty and scarce concealed his scorn for the unloveliness of the Naugrim, and his people followed their lord. Nevertheless since both peoples feared and hated Morgoth they made alliance, and had of it great profit; for the Naugrim learned many secrets of craft in those days, so that the smiths and masons of Nogrod and Belegost became renowned among their kin, and when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand all the traffic of the dwarf-mines passed first through the hands of Caranthir, and thus great riches came to him.”

So this is the part that led to all of the Caranthir loving money jokes, which ultimately led to there being a Caranthir/money tag on AO3. (No, really.) That said, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, it’s pretty reasonable to think that Caranthir’s love for planning and economics go beyond average, so let’s assume for a moment that economics are his special interest. This would fill the third elective requirement: “Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus”. Or, in other words, having a special interest. But beyond that, him not even trying to hide his distaste for the Dwarves clearly shows a lack of basic diplomacy, which we’ve been over before. He has severely lacking social skills. Plus, choosing to be hostile towards a group that have the exact same interests as him proves that he struggles with change, or at the very least forming interpersonal bonds, even if he did form an alliance with them in the end (which only goes to show how strong his special interest is).

“Therefore the Noldor held strength of cavalry In the plains at that place; and the people of Caranthir fortified the mountains to the east of Maglor's Gap. There Mount Rerir, and about it many lesser heights, stood out from the main range of Ered Lindon westward; and in the angle between Rerir and Ered Lindon there was a lake, shadowed by mountains on all sides save the south. That was Lake Helevorn, deep and dark, and beside it Caranthir had his abode; but all the great land between Gelion and the mountains, and between Rerir and the River Ascar, was called by the Noldor Thargelion, which signifies the Land beyond Gelion, or Dor Caranthir, the Land of Caranthir; and it was here that the Noldor first met the Dwarves. But Thargelion was before called by the Grey-elves Talath Rhúnen, the East Vale.”

Okay this one might be a bit of a stretch, but one could argue that Caranthir choosing to live beneath the mountains and in a notably dark region could indicate a sensitivity to bright lights, which would qualify as a sensory sensitivity. Even if not, though, we already have the required two of the four electives.

“At that time [Celegorm and Curufin] were from home, riding with Caranthir east in Thargelion [...]”

And this tells us absolutely nothing.

“But seven days later, as the Orcs made their last assault and had already broken through the stockade, there came suddenly a music of trumpets, and Caranthir with his host came down from the north and drove the Orcs into the rivers.

Then Caranthir looked kindly upon Men and did Haleth great honour; and he offered her recompense for her father and brother. And seeing, over late, what valour there was in the Edain, he said to her: 'If you will remove and dwell further north, there you shall have the friendship and protection of the Eldar, and free lands of your own.'

But Haleth was proud, and unwilling to be guided or ruled, and most of the Haladin were of like mood. Therefore she thanked Caranthir, but answered: 'My mind is now set, lord, to leave the shadow of the mountains, and go west, whither others of our kin have gone.'”

One could probably argue that Haleth was Caranthir’s only friend outside of his immediate family, which certainly indicates a struggle in forming bonds. That being said, he did pretty good here. I’m proud of him :))

“Maglor joined Maedhros upon Himring; but Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves; and the Orcs came not into Ossiriand, nor to Taur-im-Duinath and the wilds of the south.”

While this is a very interesting passage for Caranthir’s characterization, it has nothing to do with him potentially being autistic, so we can move on.

“The sons of Ulfang the Black were Ulfast, and Ulwarth, and Uldor the accursed; and they followed Caranthir and swore allegiance to him, and proved faithless”

Poor Caranthir can’t catch a break, can he? But yeah of course he chooses the people who end up being the least loyal. Certainly indicates a lack of character judgement, which falls under not understanding nonverbal communication.

“There fell Celegorm by Dior's hand, and there fell Curufin, and dark Caranthir”

RIP. But it doesn’t really tell us anything.

Obviously, we can’t know what he was like during childhood development, nor can we know what underlying conditions he may have. However, given how many alliances he fucked over or nearly fucked over with his bad social skills, it’s fair to say that his autistic traits would have clinical significance. So, in conclusion, while nothing can be said for certain, it is reasonable to think that Caranthir is autistic.

#tolkien #silmarillion #caranthir #meta #actuallyautistic

66 notes · View notes

spiteweaver · 6 years

Text

Feldspar: Behind the Scenes

previous | next

More New Arrivals, More Problems!

Feldspar is known across Sornieth as one of its most prosperous hubs for mercantile activity. Dragons come from all over the Continent seeking a diverse array of wares, and rarely ever do they leave empty-handed. It is thought that more money exchanges claws in Feldspar than almost anywhere else in Sornieth, so to call it the Titan of the East is certainly no stretch.

However, it has become known for something else across its six cycle lifespan: the taking in and reformation of problem citizens.

Ask any of its permanent residents, and they’ll tell you that at least half of their clanmates were once of a highly unpleasant variety--and that’s putting it mildly! Feldspar has played home to everything from petty thieves to former warlords, and it shows no signs of slowing down with its newest addition.

Thalassinus, an ancient rune witch of Lightning birth and rune master to our very own Ozymandias, was recently discovered practicing his art off Feldspar shores when he accidentally afflicted a local angler with botched runes. Risen, the angler in question, has since undergone a rune rewrite--but although the physical pain has been alleviated, the psychological damage remains.

Needless to say, Thalassinus’ arrival has set Water dragons on edge, and no one has spoken more openly against his presence than Feldspar’s Water Representative, Levi.

“Having grown up in the Leviathan Trench, I know a thing or two about Thalassinus’ people,” he said during an exclusive interview with the Daily Ruin. “They’ve caused nothing but trouble for dragonkind in the past, and I don’t see that changing.”

Dreamweaver had a very different view of the matter.

“If I felt that the promises he made to me regarding his religious and academic practices were not genuine, I would have cast him out immediately. A dragon is not dangerous based on their pursuits alone. A dragon is dangerous when they choose the acquisition of those pursuits over the good of others.”

Powerful words, and certainly very true--but the question on everyone’s mind is, what sort of dragon is Thalassinus?

We went to the drake himself in search of the truth.

“It’s understandable that others may view me in a negative light,” he conceded, “but I do hope that, in time, I’ll be able to prove to them that I mean no harm. We all have our own purposes in this world. Mine is to seek knowledge lost to our kind, and I will endeavor to do so with the safety of this clan in mind.”

Alongside Thalassinus, this eon, we welcome one of Saint Camellia’s own offspring into our midst--and the lovely young lady has caused quite a stir!

Confident, beautiful, and wise beyond her years, Rue is every drake’s (and dam’s) dream girl! We’re certain that our beloved Saint Camellia will be happy to hear that the suitors have already started pouring in, and that Rue, ever the charmer, is thriving among the clamor!

“It’s not what I’m used to, but I don’t think you’ll catch me complaining.”

Her real reason for choosing Feldspar over her home clan of Aphaster is nothing to do with suitors, though. As Feldspar grows from village into city, Dreamweaver’s workload only continues to increase--and Rue has a gift she feels they may find particularly useful.

“I wasn’t born a Skydancer,” she confessed during our interview with her earlier in the week. There was an uncharacteristic shyness about her when she spoke of her breed change, perhaps stemming from Aphaster’s past troubles with her kind. “It’s a blessing and a curse. There are still mixed feelings about us, even after so much time, and I’d like to work to further dispel any misinformation by offering my AREI services to Dreamweaver.”

Alter-Specific Recursive Empathic Induction, also known as AREI, was discovered by our friends in Aphaster following their tumultuous exodus from their homeland in the Isles. It was used there to devastating effect--but Rue believes she can use it to heal.

“Dreamweaver is under an immense amount of stress,” she elaborated, “and I have a naturally calm disposition. If I can successfully project that calm onto them, it may not only help them, but the clan as a whole. A sound mind makes sound decisions.”

Dreamweaver gratefully accepted Rue’s offer, and the two have become nigh inseparable since; bad news for suitors hoping to catch a private moment with Rue, but good news for our overworked founder!

Meet the Genius Behind Feldspar’s Updated Renovation Plans!

Yọmí has been among Clan Feldspar for over an eon, but quiet and unassuming, he has lived outside of the notice of many of his clanmates since his arrival. That all changed this past week, when he was first spotted atop the newly-erected southern gate with Dreamweaver, poring over a fresh set of blueprints.

Rumors began to spread at a rapid pace, as they are wont to do in such a tight-knit community, and it wasn’t long until the truth came out: Yọmí has taken up the mantle of Head Architect, right under all our noses!

The position has been empty for nearly a cycle, following the exaltation of its former holder, Amal, and many were beginning to wonder if anyone would ever step up to fill it. Although the original plans for the renovations were signed off on by a number of lesser architects, Yọmí has, according to our sources, been able to refine them, as well as streamline the renovation process with Dragonhome know-how.

Readers, let me tell you, trying to score an interview with this drake is like trying to catch a Smoke Gyre with your bare hands! (No offense meant to the Smoke Gyre himself)! He’s as bashful as he is brilliant, but we here at the Daily Ruin are dedicated to bringing you the whole truth! We managed to secure a brief interview with him just this past evening, and what he had to say was truly heart-wrenching!

“Honestly, I came here to be closer to my older brother,” he told us, “but I haven’t worked up the courage to contact him just yet. He and our sister, Ranti, are both skilled in our family’s magic, while I have almost no magical potential to speak of. I know they aren’t the sort of people who would look down on me for it, but it’s still nerve-wracking, especially when I’ve never even met Moyọ̀.”

Let’s just hope Moyọ̀ reads the Daily Ruin!

What You Should Know About Night of the Nocturne!

As this cycle draws to a close, our Tangled Wood neighbors are beginning to stir in their nests of bramble and black moss. Night of the Nocturne, also known colloquially as the Midwinter Masquerade, is a time of illusion and chaos, even here in the Light lands. Nocturnes are known for delighting in mimicry, to both amusing and catastrophic effect.

Vladimir, in charge of Feldspar’s border patrols, has come out with an important PSA regarding the festivities.

“Our Shadow border will be strictly monitored and restricted,” the PSA informs. “Those coming in and out of the territory across it will be subject to harsher scrutiny as a result. During this time, we ask our Nocturne residents to keep their eyes and ears peeled for any sign of their kin causing trouble in-territory. The best counter against a Nocturne is another Nocturne.

“For our non-Nocturne residents, there are a number of signs to watch out for--an instinctual distaste for daylight, or particularly bright artificial lighting; unusual speech and behavioral patterns, or stilted, unnatural movements; and, of course, a habit of copying the speech, behavior, and movements of others.

“Remember: Nocturnes, like all dragons, are not typically dangerous unless provoked, but there are those with malicious agendas, so remain vigilant, and report any unusual behavior to the nearest authority figure.”

#flight rising #fr #zach writes #feldspar behind the scenes #clan feldspar #feldspar lore

3 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 7 years

Note

Hi! Im a big fan of your metas and I wanted your opinion in something I was looking at the paladin quiz in the official site and in the "deepest fear" question Keith's answer is feelings. I don't really think this is right, Lance's answer (losing) seems more accurate for Keith. But what do you think?

I’ve heard mixed input on the “paladin quiz” and not sure how I feel about it myself (part of it is I haven’t experienced it personally) but I think “feelings” could make sense for Keith.

Not necessarily in that he’s afraid of feeling, but, getting close to anyone in any sense, platonic or romantic, is a very scary prospect for someone who’s both starved for affection and terrified of isolation. I’ve talked before but I feel like in Keith there’s the conflicting impulse to try and not get too attached to people because he’s a defeatist who assumes they’ll leave eventually and he doesn’t want to be hurt when it happens- and also this powerful urge to attach to people as much as possible because he so badly wants to feel loved in any sense.

He’s clingy but terrified of being clingy, can’t bear people leaving but has a massive amount of learned helplessness in that regard. So, yeah, I can see “feelings” read as “feelings of solidarity and companionship with other people” qualifying as Keith’s deepest fear- because it means the world to him but at the same time, precisely for that reason, it’s been at the root of virtually every trauma he’s experienced. So, yeah, I can imagine Keith realizing he really cares about someone in either a romantic or platonic sense being met with a certain pit of dread in his stomach because oh god, what is he going to do when they leave.

Keith is a defeatist about abandonment. I think there’s something to be said that Keith’s trauma has had a consistent presence in his life and a very powerful one specifically when he was very young. There’s a kind of established pattern to Keith that tells him when someone is leaving, he can’t stop it, he can’t help it. Even when he doesn’t want it to happen, even as capable and otherwise confident as he may be- we see this with both of the holograms in the Trial of Marmora.

With Shiro- even when he refuses to give up the weapon, the absolutely heartbroken way he calls after Shiro but doesn’t actually try to run to him or stop him, even though there’s nothing holding him back. With his father, it’s easy for Keith to give up on seeing his parents again. Again, it hurts him a lot, but that reunion that he so desperately wants is relatively easy to overlook just because on some level... he can’t believe it. He can’t actually believe these people would want to come back for him, that he could actually make a decision to stop being lonely.

There’s rare exceptions to Keith’s defeatist attitude. Consider the way he blew up at Pidge for abandoning Voltron, but, even then, it seeps through: Keith never once actually expresses the real reason he’s upset at her leaving- that he’s grown attached to her emotionally. He tries to make his appeal exclusively out of logic, necessity, because Keith has an attitude that his feelings and value in other people’s eyes is not enough to make them stay. It never is.

This might even be part of why he suggested they shouldn’t try to rescue Allura- after all his perspective was pretty clearly that if they tried they’d fail. Since when has he been able to stop someone from disappearing from his life? And now his friends want to charge into obviously unfavorable odds because somehow they think this time they’ll make it?

Basically, Keith doesn’t even realize he has a pretty warped perspective when it comes to himself, other people, and personal autonomy. He assumes this is actually how the world works, that somehow all the teamwork and solidarity speeches- on some level, don’t really count if they’re talking about him.

As far as Lance and losing, I think of that in the context of losing a competition and I think about like... Lance has a major insecurity problem but he’s not passively mired in it. Unlike Keith, I feel like this has not been a consistent issue in Lance’s life, or an oppressive one. It’s one that comes and goes, creeps in the back door from time to time- familiar to Lance, and probably a lasting fixture, but offset by friends and family that adore him, input to the contrary, that you’re not a failure, you’re not useless, you have talents and a place here.

Lance talks up a lot of self love, and part of it feels kind of “fake it till you make it”. He seems aware that he’s predisposed to not thinking rationally about this, and we see him kind of argue it out with himself when he is feeling insecure. “They wouldn’t have me on the team if I didn’t contribute something.” The fact that he’s actively trying to hunt for and identify his good qualities.

Even when Laika seems to concur flatly and without hesitation with his insecure thoughts, Lance responds to that critically, “You don’t have to agree with me that quickly.”

He knows it’s here. He knows it’s not rational, or fair. Even with people he considers rivals or is jealous of, he can be fair about them. He’ll bicker with Keith but when given the opportunity to potentially blacken his name to a stranger, Lance instead talks him up, about how cool he is and talented and do you know he flew into an asteroid field that one time, he’s always doing stuff like that.

And I’m a filthy shipper and you know how I’m taking that, but even slicing it from a purely platonic perspective, Lance knows that jealousy sours a bit of his perspective towards Keith and unless actively set off, his instinct is to prop up his friend.

But back to the whole losing thing- Lance is more or less engaged in deep internal conflict with his insecurity. He doesn’t want to give in, he doesn’t want to let it rule his behavior, he especially doesn’t want it to hurt his interpersonal connections. And I feel like the main way Lance tries to fight his lack of self-worth? Is by trying to quantify his achievements.

I’ve mentioned before that I think it’s very significant Allura skipped the Blue Paladin virtues, and she did so because Lance took the opportunity to try and butter himself up. It’s a small thing and I would not be surprised if Allura and everyone else more or less forgot about it- but to Lance and his internal conflict, that means quite a bit, and would be something that lingers with him.

But not passively, because- well, all the paladins have something! What is he good at? He’s a good shot. He can quantify that- he can practice, he can familiarize himself with his bayard, and best of all, he can do this privately. He’s clever, he can figure this out, he doesn’t need to bug the team, he doesn’t need to make his insecurity everyone else’s problem because at its root, he’s not being fair to himself and he doesn’t want to be That Guy and fish for praise. Is he, in fact, hungry for compliments? Absolutely, but he’ll downplay it, make it a joke, make it “Local Boy Is Gloating Again”

But privately, it’s incredibly important to Lance to quantify his progress. As objectively as possible- and what possible better way to do that than competing?

If he can find his name up on that board, if he made fighter class- then he’s winning. Hasta la later insecurity, Lance is good at what he does, science has spoken. If he can one-up Keith, who was the best pilot in his class, who was the Garrison’s golden boy- he’s winning.

(And yet, he’s too compassionate to completely enjoy if his winning comes at Keith’s expense- if he promotes to the fighter class because Keith was expelled from the Garrison. The other side, I think, of his discomfort occupying “someone else’s spot” for personal gain, outside of it fueling his insecurity because he’s just a spare tire to these people)

So why would he be scared of losing? Because if Lance puts himself out there, if he competes somehow, and loses- if his objective source of reassurance isn’t so reassuring- then he slips. Then even if it’s a minor thing, even if it’s a fluke, even if he’s gonna get it next time- his insecurity is right next to him slamming pots together chanting “DEATH AND DISHONOR”

It seems like a way bigger deal than it is and even if externally he tries to laugh it off, it’ll eat at him, big time. And he’s slightly resistant reaching out to outside forces because Lance this is dumb it was literally one tiny mistake it was totally insignificant can you not make a massive deal out of everything for once in your life oh my god

I say “slightly”, because- again, even if he’s probably somewhat ashamed- knowing it’s irrational, knowing it’s silly, knowing he is not a seventh wheel- there’s still the fact that Lance seems to have come from a loving supporting family and overwhelmingly, against his reflex of “this is irrelevant and I should probably deal with it on my own” there is a tide of experiences that say people care about him and want to help him. If someone asks him “is everything all right?” that they actually want to hear it, and isn’t just making idle conversation.

It might be scary to Lance, unprompted, to sit down and talk to the team about “so hey I maybe have a chronic insecurity problem.” But if he’s feeling lonely or down or scared, or it comes up, and someone pursues that thread, it takes very little for Lance to open up. I think the trick is just he wants some small outside confirmation that “it’s okay, I’m here and I want to listen” because part of it is, see Lance removing himself from the party when he got homesick in s1e4- he doesn’t want to bring other people down by burdening them with his troubles, since he has a pretty keen sense when other people are stewing in it and usually wants to help others with their problems.

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Keith #Lance #readmore #caps /#honestly I'd be really interested to hear what the other paladins' listed fears were #Anonymous

80 notes · View notes

jamfingers · 7 years

Text

Some Background on That One Super Famous Cluster B Personality Disorder and Some Brief Meta Tying It to Kai Parker’s Problematic (but Fine AF) Ass Because I Said I Would Do This

Okay, this isn’t a research paper, so I’m not going to put ref points throughout the post, but I’ll write down the full names of the texts and articles I used at the bottom in case you’re interested in checking them out yourself. Some info/pics come from old annotated notes, but I likely will only use those for examples provided by previous professors. NONE of these visuals are mine, they’re copyrighted and I’m posting them for educational purposes. I’m making no profit off of this. Obviously. This is a damn fan blog.

First off, lets talk behavior and psychopathology, then I’ll get into like...the barest bit of some of the complex anatomy and physiology behind them. Then I’ll talk Kai Parker a little and how he fits this. This post is gonna be hellaciously long, since it’s an academic reference/meta, so read more under the cut:

Personality is something pervasive, long term, and generally not mutable in a person. And individual’s personality will develop in childhood and are measured by rating the general patterns of disordered conduct/socializing of traits known as the big 5: neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. These traits, like anything dealing with the mind, are measured on a spectrum and patterns of extremely high pervasiveness of traits in some areas and extremely low pervasiveness in others that results in a diminished or troubled quality of life is what results in a personality disorder.

Personality disorders are sorted into 3 groups called clusters:

Kai falls into cluster B - he has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD from here on, can also be noted as APD), historically called “sociopathy”. ASPD is more commonly diagnosed in men than in women, (although this might be in part due to societal/gender biases of both the patient and the clinician, but I digress), with a prevalence in the clinical population of 3.9-5.9% and in the general population of 1.0%-1.8%. It’s rare, but not the rarest personality disorder by any means. No unicorns here.

I personally denote ASPDers as the biggest con-artist assholes you’ll ever have the displeasure of meeting, but that’s not very academic, so I’ll copy my one of my textbook’s format and break this up into a few categories. More information can be found in references.

Clinical Description And Criteria:

“I am entitled to break rules.”

That right there is the sun with which ASPD revolves around. The disorder is characterized by extreme selfishness and disregard for others, highly impulsive and risky behavior (like drug use, reckless stunts, fighting), and unusual emotional responses and fits of rage, but no deficits in reasoning ability. People with ASPD know what they’re doing, understand the social norms/ rules behind them and don’t care. In regards to the Big 5 personality traits this is what they look like (L is low, H is high):

And diagnostic criteria for ASPD on the DSM-5 looks like this:

YOU HAVE TO HAVE DISPLAYED CONDUCT DISORDER AS A CHILD TO BE DIAGNOSED WITH ASPD AFTER 18. Remember an individual’s personality develops in childhood and is long-lasting. Conduct disorder in children is diagnosed with this criteria:

ASPD has a pretty high heritabilty (about 40-50%) and it’s fostered in hostile environments characterized by lack of warmth, exposure to violence, high negativity, parental inconsistency or parental ASPD, and/or poverty.

While ASPD is associated with poor impulse control, there is still no deficit in reasoning ability. ASPDers with a high intelligence quotient (IQ) are less likely to get caught or engage in illegal or destructive behavior because they know the game. They’d rather be free to fuck people over than in a system and can be quite adept at hiding their traits. This leads me to psychopathy. There’s still some debate about whether psychopathy should be considered different from ASPD, but most clinicians these days agree that psychopathy as a subset of symptoms that fall under ASPD. So just like all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares, all psychopaths (at this point) are ASPDers, but not all ASPDers are psychopaths.

Psychopathy:

Defining characteristics of psychopathy include:

If you’re having a hard time reading this, the red and blue branches indicate what aspects of psychopathy are influenced by what bit of anatomy dysregulation. AMG - amygdala, PCC - posterior cingulate cortex, MPFC - medial prefrontal cortex. The coronal slices (red, bottom blue) are as if you’re looking at a person face to face - your left is their right. Top blue is scanned from the right side (See that scrunchy round thing behind the straight part? Below the “PCC”? That’s the cerebellum behind the brain stem. It’s in the back of your head, to help with orientation.) Middle blue is as if you and the person are facing the same direction, but you’re taller and looking straight down on their head. Hope that helps you out!

In general, with regards to criminal behavior, high IQ psychopaths are called “subclinical” psychopaths and are not generally studied bc...well, they blend in. They find other, legal or discreet ways to fulfill thrill seeking behavior.

Psychopathy has some actual distinct differences in the brain that can be physiologically measured. It’s typically shown by differences in the the right amygdala and the anterior rostral prefrontal cortex (arPFC from here on), especially on the right side. (The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for emotional recognition and expression, while the amygdala controls fear responses/recognition and the PFC in general controls different aspects of higher cognition. In this case, it’s likely the conversion of emotionality to morality, since emotions play a large part in fostering sympathy and from there moral judgement.) See?

Integrative Biopsychosocial Model of APD:

Bio (Genetics and neurobiology): Twin and adoption studies show that ASPD is highly heritable, but it’s the gene-environment interaction that is integral for ASPD development. ASPD is an endophenotype - the underlying aspects of disorder are genetic (low levels serotonin and dopamine (the chemical neurotransmitters), or in the case of psychopaths, low levels of serotonergic or dopaminergic axons (the anatomy that receives the NT)) and provide the unique emotional aspects of ASPD, but the social behavior presentation is guided by the environment (early childhood stress, lack of social guidance, etc). The arousal theory, if you’re interested, is based of the endophenotypes and can explain how certain behaviors arise from them (i.e. ASPDers, esp. psychopaths, are stimulation seeking bc of low response in reward systems (serotonergic/dopaminergic)). *I add on dopamine bc it’s an important chemical in the brain’s reward system, but serotonin is the key one.

Psychosocial (mental and environmental): Inconsistent parental punishments, lack of punishment for aggressive/antagonist behavior, environments that propagate violence, high risk-reward and fearless psychology all lend themselves to the development of the disorder.

The disorder is like a measuring cup and each influence is water filling it until the water level reaches the mark where the disorder presents itself.

When it comes to ASPD, prevention, not treatment is preferred. Redirecting behavior patterns in kids with conduct disorder is your best bet compared to trying to get a fully formed, highly aggressive ASPD adult to behave.

Here’s a case study from my abnormal psych textbook depicting what the you’d most likely see in clinical ASPD case (i.e. in “the system” , like prison or a hospital):

(See why I said con-artists asshole? Ryan’s a fucking dick.)

References:

“Abnormal Psychology: An Integrative Approach” 7th Edition, David H. Barlow & V. Mark Durand {This is the book I used in my psychopathology class, which is for...understanding pathologies of the mind lol.}

“Neuroscience” 5th Edition, Dale Purves {Great book for detailed anatomy and physiology of neural circuits, and I didn’t get into like I could, but the emotion chapter is dense and that’s a lot of info to slam you with.}

“The Foundations of Behavioral Neuroscience” 9th Edition, Neil R. Carlson {Easy to read and a great general capstone text}

Okay, so now that we got the science, on to Kai Parker:

Right, so I think it’s safe to say that, canonically, Kai mostly fits the criteria for ASPD, but you’re def free to go back over all that up there and do your own comparison. We all know how Kai is an admitted “sociopath”. Considering Joshua Parker’s behavior, we can probably take a gander on the genetic component and considering the entire Gemini premise, plus the way Kai in particular was raised as the outsider in his family, we have an idea of the hostile and warmth-lacking environment that fostered it.

Because it’s TVD, I do think Kai was written to cater that whole “handsome, suburban white boy gone wrong” schtick, but I also think he’s one of the most subtly well-fleshed characters that show ever produced. There’s this one article I read for a neuro lit course (“Loneliness and associated violent antisocial behavior: analysis of the case reports of Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen.” authored by W.H. Martens and G.B. Palmero) that really stuck to me in a pervasive way and it’s about how chronically festering feelings of neglect and loneliness, of feeling like an unaccepted outsider, drove Dahmer and Nilsen to take their victim’s lives in a misguided way to dissuade the loneliness.

Having read that makes me wonder how Kai, the fictional serial killer, reflects his real life counterparts. The drive for merging and becoming coven leader is something that would force others to acknowledge him, which ties into his “black sheep” speech, his “I was never hugged as a child and my siblings were kept away” complaint (There are a lot of inconsistencies in his dialogued back story that bother me, but it makes me wonder if he ever lied about his past: “my favorite memory is when I finally beat him to death” and the preceding story about Mario Kart with the bby bro seems like something he might have just made up to fuck with Elena), and other vocalizations he’s made about his past which point to him being the misfit and desiring a sense of belonging. While we know Kai’s ASPD is a part of his characterization, this to me seems out of the norm for this disorder, simply because it indicates an understanding of sympathy that is unwittingly emotional.

Of course, Kai could also just want to be able to lord the world’s biggest “FU!” over his abusers.

Either way, anti or not, when using the ASPD/sociopath argument to defend or dismantle Kai as a character, I think it’s a good idea to keep in mind that Kai was written inconsistently. He shows very little impulsivity or recklessness in 1994, one trait which is almost a given with ASPD, nor was he flightly/irresponsible. He always had some end-goal or plan in mind. This was pre-merge. But he was also manipulative and showed no regret about the people he hurt. Obviously, each case of the disorder is unique because they exist on a spectrum, but the pattern and criteria are there due to broad commonalities in each case. The way the media tends to portray ASPD is not all consistent with the way the disorder presents irl.

#Kai parker #ASPD info #antisocial personality disorder #kai parker meta #tvd meta #bonkai #which I mean...i guess

61 notes · View notes