#i still love them horribly and making this decision hurts me so much

[saturns-space]

are you leaving? :(

yes i am, unfortunately this is the end of saturns-space! i have my own thoughts and opinions on this entire situation, and on the dream team as a whole, but regardless of what the outcome is i just can’t stay here any longer.

i am and have been too overly attached to the dteam. i rely far too heavily on them for my own happiness and it’s genuinely unhealthy. my own physical health has deteriorated astronomically over these past few days all because of what’s been happening, and it’s ludicrous that id let something like this affect me as bad as it has.

as much as it hurts me i believe it’s time i close this chapter of my life.

if you wanna find me, i’m rebranding to @thesaturndiary everywhere. thought it would be good to make a new account for a fresh start :) im leaving this account up, along with my others, as an archive for now. im still going to be posting art and doing other stuff!

thank you guys for everything 🫂🫶

#i’m not an anti btw #as bad as it sounds i don’t think i could ever hate the dream team #i still love them horribly and making this decision hurts me so much #but i think i would hurt more if i continued to stay #maybe i’ll come back one day #thank you guys for everything

[masuchu]

“𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒” [GENSHIN MEN]

ways that the genshin men fuck you on your period ‧₊˚

genre. filthy smut, period sex, mentions of blood (obv), mentions of overstim (childe), cunnilingus (childe), mentions of punishment sort of, body worship (kaveh), sort of brat taming ?? (wriothesley) reader is femaleeeee

characters. childe, zhongli, kaveh, wriothesley

love, masu. aaaaaa i am on my period rn so this is so so self indulgent . it is also filthy . felt very very shameful writing this . (◞‸◟) neuvillette was also supposed to be in this but i have bigger plans for him …

(公子) 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄 ‧₊˚

We all know Childe is a menace on the battlefield. Obsessed with combat, addicted to duelling. Can not form friendships without fighting the person first. Needless to say, his bloodlust is perpetual and never ending.

You never really expected it to traverse into the bedroom, though.

Childe looks feral. His eyes are wide and hungry, unfocused and utterly hypnotised by your pussy. He presses a thumb into your clit, ignoring your cries and pleads of sensitivity, and watches as a large glob of blood ooze out of you.

“Ajax, please. M’ sensitive, it hurts…Agh!”

He completely ignores you. After a moment of intense staring, his mouth is back on your throbbing pussy, slurping both your juices and your blood. It is filthy, completely taboo. So why do you like it so much? Why are your thighs clamping down onto his head, as though you wanted to squeeze him into nothing? Why are your moans echoing and rattling the room, surprising even yourself with the depth and pitch of them?

You are broken out of your daydreams by a malevolent bite on your clit. A compressing pain spikes across your body, yet with it comes such an addicting pleasure that your pleads become garbled and unintelligible.

“Ajax, please! Too much, please, please, p—please!”

“What are you begging for, pretty girl? You get what you’re given. Now, fancy shutting your pretty mouth before I shut it for you? Feel free to stop wriggling too!”

You can tell that the pause he took from devouring you angered him immensely, and though his words were spoken as if he was asking nicely, you know him.

You know him well enough to know he would not hesitate to ruin you if you didn’t listen.

“God, your blood is so pretty. Would never hurt you, so let me have this, yeah? Makes me so fucking horny, you don’t understand.”

And with that he is back to devouring you. Your wide eyes peer down and find that he is in fact, not looking at you. No, his attention is entirely on his meal. Blood is smeared all over his face, making him look so horribly sexy. It pains you to admit it. His pupils are dilated, you only just now notice his nails digging into your hips. Keeping you anchored on the bed. Keeping you vulnerable for him.

You think— as best as you can in your state— on his words. Of course, the throb in your core and desperation to cum makes you biased, but you conclude that maybe you should let him have this. He is focused on you, so the worst you will deal with is a few more orgasms than necessary, right?

You know what they say, never make decisions while you’re horny!

(钟离) 𝐙𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐈 ‧₊˚

Zhongli loves you unconditionally. His love neither wavers nor falters, no matter what challenges the two of you face together. May it morph and evolve? Of course, but it is firm and loyal to you. And only ever to you.

So what does he care that you are on your period? He is still hungry— greedy — for you, and no amount of blood will stop him from having your sweet pussy sheathed on his cock.

“Zhongli, you really don’t have too— Ngh..”

The man in question presses a thumb onto your lips, effectively quieting you and leaving you shy and flushing. Hips roll up into you once more, his length hitting exactly where you love it. His eyes burn into you, filled with infatuation and lust. How is it possible that those eyes are locked onto you, of all people? You don’t dare question it, an endless fear of jinxing it.

“Do not have to what? I do not have to love my partner? To pleasure them, hm? I would rather lose everything than never be able to have you like this again, my dear.”

Zhongli’s hips roll into you again at the most opportune time; damn tease, he knows how much his tender words get to you. Unable to do much but take his punctual thrusts as and when they come, you wrap you arms around his neck and nuzzle into his chest. His own palms find themselves gripping your waist, carefully lifting you up with ease and hauling you down again, slamming his cock into you at the same time. The feeling paralyses you, but the worry of your blood still lingers in your mind.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? My blood will get every—Oh!” It’s a vexatious thing he does often, silencing you. Divesting you of your ability to speak coherently, and enkindling your heart slowly and maliciously. You aren’t sure you have ever finished a sentence he hasn’t wanted to hear. Not in bed, at least.

“I have seen enough blood in my days. Though, I am admittedly much more pleased to see yours in this way, rather than another. Do not worry yourself, I want to ravish you always. A little bit of blood will not put me off.”

At this his hips resume at a much faster pace, splitting you open on himself with no care of your hoarse whimpers. With each frantic thrust, he breathes heavier and your body is bounced higher and faster. His hands are always there to guide you, dropping your aching body down onto him again, again, and again. You allow your moans to fall out of your mouth and reverberate throughout the room, not at all coherent enough to fathom the mountain of pleasure you are feeling, let alone the noises you are making. All your can think about is that delicious pressure building up inside of you, and the slam of his cock in and out.

Needless to say, new sheets were purchased the next morning. And it has been harder to doubt Zhongli’s love for all aspects of you ever since.

(卡维) 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇 ‧₊˚

“Does this feel better? Tell me what you want, love, I’ll give it to you.”

Kaveh’s fingers ruthlessly plunge into you, hitting places you didn’t even know existed. He had instructed you a few moments ago to hold your thighs for him, to allow him easier access. It didn’t register that it meant not only you couldn’t hold back your obscene moans, but also that he could bury himself so deep into you that you could taste him.

“You’re so beautiful like this… I wish I could sketch you. Another time. Keep moaning for me, pretty.”

The blonde in question had felt horrible all day. When he saw you occasionally hobble out of your room, hands gripping your stomach in attempt to stop the pain, his frown sunk deeper into his face. He had brought you everything you asked: ice cream, water, medication, kisses, new towels. Every deed was appreciated, but he couldn’t help wanting to do more. To take the pain away like a lover should.

A fitting explanation for how you found yourself in missionary with Kaveh’s fingers ambushing your pussy like no tomorrow, hm?

The blond in question traces his free hand along your shuddering body— squeezing any plush skin there is to squeeze, caressing absolutely anywhere you will allow him. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes concentrated. His pays attention to every beauty mark, every curve, every detail.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful. Every part of you is provocative, you know. Can’t believe this body of yours was in such pain, it’s cruel!”

His delicate fingers thrust into you again, such pretty hands turning you into a mess. It’s a humorous juxtaposition, really. His effortless beauty, and you— a moaning heap, heaving and sniffling like a whore. He wouldn’t agree, you knew he wouldn’t.

Before you can even contemplate how dirty and blooded his fingers will be, let alone complain, his lips press into yours and strangles your cries in a passionate kiss. He is not usually a biter, but he nips your lower lip and watches in awe as it bounces back, swollen and jutted. He swears on the Seven that you will kill him one day. You’re too goddamn sexy!

“Had me running around all day, when all you needed was this? Don’t worry, I’m not complaining, baby. Would run—fuck, a million miles around Sumeru City if you asked me too.”

A second hand rubs at your clit. Your body has been pushed so far up the bed from his fingers, that when your back arches from the new sensation, your head slams into the headboard. Writhing, wriggling, screaming. Nothing frees you from him, from what he’s giving you. Both the fingers in you and on you continue their ministrations rapidly, and all at once, everything becomes nothing, and then too much. The taut string in you core snaps, and a flurry of arousal overcomes you entirely.

You ignore how Kaveh’s eyes widen, how he bites his lips and groans out a slow ‘Fuuuuck..’. You have no mind to worry about how you look right now, every bodily function betraying you as you lay lifelessly on the satin sheets. Mindlessly, your eyes attract like magnets to the beauty of a man still above you. Though, what you see immediately rekindles the flame of arousal in you.

Kaveh, his fingers in his own mouth. Sucking, slurping, devouring the lewd mixture of your blood and slick. It’s completely vulgar, almost foul. And yet you can’t help the way your mind goes crazy for the potential of having his dick inside you.

“Ngh, you taste so good on my fingers. Gotta make you do that again…”

“W—what did I do…?”

“You squirted, love.”

(莱欧斯利) 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘 ‧₊˚

Don’t get him wrong, Wriothesley feels extremely sympathetic for you. He can’t imagine having to undergo what is often excruciating pain, bleeding heavily and treacherous mood swings on the daily. Not to mention on top of his regular workload! It’s hell on earth, he’s sure of it, and he will do anything in his power to make life even a smidge easier for you.

But he can only withstand so much of your bratty behaviour. Only so many ‘Ugh, you’re so annoying!’s before he starts to tick. You are in pain, yes, but it isn’t his fault! You can only bully him for so long before it begins to get under his skin.

“Just needed something to fill you up, huh? Does it make it feel better, sweetheart? You’ve certainly lost your— ngh, spark now.”

Wriothesley slams into you so hard you body writhes, and the bed you were thrown upon only a couple of minutes ago seems to disappear beneath you. A floating sensation engulfs you, and you grip the sheets in a fear of loosing all ground. A chuckle leaves his lip and taunts you, but you can’t imagine snapping back before he is, yet again, pounding into you and plundering all ability to breathe.

“Where’s that brattiness gone now, hm? If it’s still there, be sure to let me know. I’d be happy to fuck it out of you. Fuck, my cock is covered in your blood…”

The sight of your ichor coating his length entirely spurs him on, if his borderline monstrous thrusts are anything to go by. An overwhelming nothing settles in your brain, absolutely nothing except him, him, him, and the pleasure he is blessing you. Your lewd moans echo throughout the room, intensifying when his fingers travel down to press mean circles onto your clit. A divine surge of arousal flows through your body, and all at once, an orgasm swallows you whole.

“Cum for me, that’s it. Good girl.”

Lifelessly, your body flops onto the bed, no longer able to sustain the position on your hands and knees. With a few more bone rattling thrusts, Wriothesley finally reaches his peak and fills you up with his thick cum. He rides out his high with short little grinds, before joining you in succumbing to the comfort of the bed. The pads of his fingertips traces patterns along your arm before travelling up to caress your face. It’s hard to talk with the helplessly lovestruck and spent daze your brain is under, and with your face pushed into the pillow, but you meekly moan out;

“M’ sorry for shouting at you, Wrio. Didn’t mean it, I promise.”

“It’s perfectly okay, missy. Wouldn’t have an excuse to feel how tight you at this time if you didn’t.”

You scoff into the bed and let out a muffled insult, something along the lines of “dirty scoundrel.” Wriothesley pinches your hip, but he isn’t angry. He just chuckles breathily. The silence is tender and soft, until:

“Fuck, will this blood stain my clothes?”

2024 © masuchu , do not repost, reword, plagiarise, take inspiration, translate or share my work anywhere!

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ sincerely me ‹𝟹 #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #childe x reader #childe smut #childe genshin #zhongli x reader #zhongli smut #zhongli genshin #kaveh x reader #kaveh smut #kaveh genshin #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley smut #wriothesley genshin

[scoutswritingcorner]

hi!! it’s raccoon anon, i saw your post abt not writing for al as often after i put the ask in 🤦 i apologize and could i instead ask for more huskerdust? maybe some overlord!husk loving on angie and reader (raccoon demon ofc) after a rough day at the casino? (just an idea ofc totally up to you!) :D

Casino Troubles

Overlord HuskerDust x Male!Racoon Demon Reader

A/N: RACOON ANON!! I missed you friend and don’t worry about sending in that Alastor request! I’ll still do it, it’s gonna just take me a little longer than usual! Also I didn’t know if you meant both Husk and Angel were overlords so I went with that but if you want me to rewrite it, don’t be afraid to hit me up! ALSO I HAVE TWO NSFW WORKS FOR OVERLORD HUSKERDUSK IN THE MAKING-

TW: A little angst, cursing, talks about a gun being pointed at you, depictions of violence and gore.

After a horrible day between you and Angel, Husk decides to spoil the shit out of you both.

It had been a rough day for you to start with, this morning when you had woken up to a loud crash as someone made the decision to try and take you out by cutting the elevator cables but severally miscalculated and immediately broke the elevator also while getting shot by Angel’s security when they tried to leave the casino. Now thankfully Angel and Husk were gone to an Overlord meeting that morning but it scared the everloving shit out of you that you had called Husk in a panic. You were stuck in the penthouse for hours (which wasn’t a problem but it still annoyed you to no end.) Then when you had finally made it down into the Casino, just wanting to meet with Husk and Angel outside as they came back from whatever extra business they attended whilst waiting for the elevator to be fixed. But as soon as you did, one of Angel’s newest recruits (or maybe a dumbass who knows) decided you weren’t who you said you were and threw you out on your ass with a pistol to your forehead.  

The hammer cocked back as his finger was tapping on the trigger and you were fully expecting to be shot down. But then Angel’s voice rang out and then the damn fool was on the ground blood seeping from his neck and chest as Angel bends down. “Oh shit- You okay baby? He didn’t rough you up too much did he?” Angel’s voice cracking from how worried he was, “Did he pistol whip you?” He asked, watching as a bruise formed on your cheek and tears formed in your eyes. Angel looked around as two guards strolled out, snapping at them with a venom you only heard behind his closed office door, the venom he saved for his enemies and the occasional idiot who tried to harm you. The guards flinched and quickly dragged the body away as Angel sighed, his hand cupping your face and wiping your tears. “I just wanted to greet you-” You had sobbed out leaning into his hand, “I get fucking jumped in the casino cause they didn’t believe me.” You continued flinching as your head started to throb, you felt pathetic. Angel quickly picked you up storming into the casino, ignoring everybody as he made a beeline towards the elevator. You hid your face into his shoulder the bright lights, smells and sounds of the casino intensifying the headache. 

It was only a few moments but it felt like an hour the whole elevator ride up, he carefully walked to the bedroom and frowned despite how shitty his day turned out especially after hearing what had happened this morning. He knew he had to up his defenses but now he had to comb through everything because his sweet little boyfriend got hurt…almost got killed by an idiot with a fucking gun. He carefully sat you on the bed, watching as your tail curled towards yourself and you didn’t dare remove yourself from his grasp. “I’m sorry, Handsome.” He whispered out, he fully blamed himself.

~~~~

When Husk had gotten the call from Angel Dust about what had happened, the poor tomcat had raised hell. His temper flared so bad he had to make sure he didn’t bring it home with him especially when his two favorite men had a horrible day. So once he took care of his anger he had rushed back home with treats and small gifts, he hummed a soft tune as he snubbed out his cigar in one of the many ashtrays placed around the casino ignoring how some of the patrons ran off at the sight of him and his guards stood taller, seems like the damage had been done and now Angel was on a warpath. Husk couldn’t deny he was too, he would kill every single rat in his own casino if it meant making sure you were safe. Angel could handle himself in a fight just fine but they both worried about you, their sweet boyfriend. 

As soon as the elevators opened with a soft ding he waltzed into the penthouse, everything where it was placed last. A frown tugged at his lips at how quiet it was, he didn’t like it. He placed the treats in the fridge, you could enjoy them later, he waltzed towards the bedroom to see the room was dark as it could be as Angel held you close to his chest, his lower set of arms were rubbing your back carefully. Waltzing closer as he shrugged his suit jacket off and placed it on the armchair in the corner of the room, he noticed how your cheeks were stained with tears. Angel had given him a soft yet strained smile that tore his heart up, “How are you both feeling?” He asked softly not too loud just in case you had fallen asleep. “He’s..been better.” Angel replied hearing your soft snores, “Got roughed up bad, when I got there he..they almost killed him, Husky.” Angel teared up looking away from the feline. “If I hadn’t gotten there in time-” His voice cracked as Husk moved to sit down on the edge of Angel’s side. “But you did, Angel. He’s safe, we are safe.” Husk quickly cut him off and kissed his cheek, wiping any tears from his eyes. “They're dead right?” He hummed watching Angel nod and he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Let’s go take a bath and let me pamper my boys?” He asked purring loudly as Angel flushed the strained smile replaced with a real smile.

Husk moved to lean over towards your sleeping form and pressed gentle kisses to your face being careful not to touch the forming bruise, you whined and slowly opened your eyes, “C’mon pretty boy, can I see your handsome face?” He asked, causing you to chuckle and stretch your back out. “I think he might need some more, Husky~” Angel teased as his hands gently pressed into your sides as Husk easily climbed over Angel to press more kisses onto your face, his tail swaying happily. The fear and anger dissipating easily into laughter as you try to return all the kisses both of them gave you.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #angel dust imagine #angel dust x you #angel dust x male reader #hazbin angel dust #angel dust x reader #overlord husk #husker x reader #husker hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #overlord angel dust #overlord huskerdust x male reader #male reader #racoon anon

[cupcakeslushie]

i love that you said each of the bois have unspoken themes to them, that makes characters so much more deeper and interesting.

if you wouldn’t mind can you say what unspoken themes Leo, Mikey, and Raph have?

some are more obvious than others, and while i have a decent idea of what they are, i want to hear them coming from you ✨

adore your work btw, your storytelling and style enraptures me

This might be a big post just so I have everyone all in one place im going to reiterate what I said for Donnie

@aduckmurder

Donnie: Identity/Depersonalization

When Donnie's first introduced Draxum doesn't even consider him a person, and hadn't even given him a name. And then, later Donnie's got too many names to choose from. That alone would cause someone to have an identity crisis. Personality wise, he enjoys making tech, but aside from that, Donnie is never sure of which emotions he should be feeling, or what his likes and dislikes are. A lot of the time he's mirroring how his brothers are emoting, or he's just smiling to cover up the fact that he doesn't know or trust his own feelings. Future Donnie will have a horrible time with depersonalization after merging with the Technodrome and the Kraang, which will cycle around to impact present timeline Donnie during the movie.

Mikey: Worth

While Donnie was treated like nothing, Mikey was treated like an object/accessory by Big Mama. When she threw him into the Nexus, Mikey imagined it was something he did or didn't do well enough to meet her high standards. After he's reunited with Splinter and Raph, Mikey finds the little roles that neither of them have filled very well, such as cooking, and cleaning, and makes sure he excels at them almost obsessively out of this fear that if he's not useful, then he will be discarded. Future Mikey works tirelessly as the only brother with his mystic powers still intact, to the point that his body is so overworked by the time of the movie, he looks like he's moments from shattering apart, only held together through his own force of will.

Leo: Doubt

Leo has lived his life being ordered around and having his memories and personality altered. Even once he is free, his emotions are almost as erratic without Kitsune's influence, than they were while he was under her control (at least until his own cleansing ritual). His instinctual gut reaction to use most violent tactic first, clearly makes his family uneasy. So when Raph tries to get Leo to act as co-leader, Leo is very hesitant. He doesn't think he should be trusted with such a responsibility, but learns he can trust if he goes too far, his brothers will stop him. Future Leo has a really hard time with raising Casey. After Raph's gone, Leo doesn't trust any of the decisions he's now having to make solo, and he certainly doesn't think he can be a guiding force for good for a young child. Casey needs a teacher who will shape him into a strong warrior. Leo learns as Casey grows, that being the boy's Sensei is not the same as being his Master.

Raph: Regret/Guilt

Raph blames himself for almost every horrible thing his brothers and father have gone through. He's recounted the night that Leo and Mikey were taken, and gone over it a thousand times in his head, trying to work out how it could've gone differently. All the amazing things he's done by bringing his family together--being the stable bedrock that they can grow into a true family under--none of that feels like it'll ever make up for the times in the past where he failed to protect them. Raph takes on the job of shield because he wants to make sure nothing else ever hurts his brothers again, and doesn't care if hurts him instead. Future Raph is constantly putting his brothers' lives before his own. Unfortunately, doing it one too many times results in a devastating loss for the Resistance, when their Leader sacrifices himself, and the chain of command practically falls apart for months before it can recover.

#rottmnt #separated au #rottmnt separated au #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #future donnie #future leo #future mikey #future raph #ew au #empyrean weeping au #sep!au doomed timeline #sep!au infodump #ask slushie #tw sibling death #tw depersonalization

[luvrrszn]

hello! i would like to request a miguel x f!reader that’s a little…out there.

basically, miguel and reader have been trying for a baby for whileeee. natural, in vitro, all that, but nothing has been working. it puts a strain on their relationship and they are about to give up until reader begs him that they try one more time, and that’s when they get their little one

a/n: i'm soooo sorry for taking so long with this request, i've just been in a horrible slump lately :' i hope the anon who requested sees this :) xx

infertility.

the atmosphere in your house is perpetually tense.

for the past two and a half years, miguel and you had been trying for a baby. the both of you had tried several different methods, and in excruciating detail.

when the simple process of unprotected sex failed to get you pregnant, the two of you began tracking your ovulation. the process of making love to have a child together became a somewhat tedious process. this was the first sign of strain on your marriage.

after trying for almost eight months, the two of you started looking into in vitro fertilisation, or IVF. you threw yourself into researching good doctors and clinics, spending all your free time looking at reviews on said clinics. miguel did the same. at some point, the only topic of conversation between the two of you was IVF: doctors, clinics, success rates. another sign of strain on your marriage. too determined to find a way to have a child, the two of you didn't realise how much of a toll it was taking on your marriage.

when several rounds of IVF did not work, and the bills were piling up, you made the decision to stop trying through IVF. you were heartbroken, knowing how much miguel wanted a child of his own. you were thrown into a spiral, feeling that you had disappointed miguel, that you had let him down in some way.

for the past two and a half years, you suffered multiple miscarriages, never successfully delivering a healthy baby.

you were heartbroken that despite your efforts to get pregnant, you seemed to fail every time. you were by no means old, you were still at the age where you were able to have children. but for some reason, you still weren't able to get pregnant.

as you stared at yet another set of negative pregnancy tests on the sink counter, you turned to look at miguel sitting on the toilet bowl cover, resting his head in his hands.

"i'm so sorry miguel." you whispered.

without a word, miguel stood up and stormed out of the bathroom, and out of the house.

you were sad, hurt, and angry. all for a multitude of reasons. you were sad that you had let miguel down. you were sad that despite trying to hard, all your efforts were to no avail. you were hurt that instead of comforting you and acknowledging that both of you shared the pain, miguel left you all alone. you were angry that miguel did not seem to care much about you anymore. all he cared about was making a baby. not making love, not fucking, just the monotonous process of making a baby. neither love and tenderness, nor passion and lust.

that night, you made up your mind to stand up for yourself.

when miguel returned, you were sitting at the dining table, nursing a hot cup of tea. tea which apparently increased fertility. what bullshit.

"nice of you to return." you said, taking a sip of your tea.

"what do you want from me?" miguel sighed, taking off his shoes.

"i want you to treat me like your wife again, miguel. i want you to treat me like a person. i'm not just here for you to try and make a baby. and how dare you walk out on me today? you're not the only one who's disappointed, you know?" when you finished your sentence, you felt your heart drop, something you thought wasn't physically possible.

as you blinked, tears ran down your face. you didn't move to wipe them off.

the silence spoke volumes.

miguel closed the space between the two of you. gently wiping the tears off your face, he said, "mi corazón, i'm so sorry. there is no excuse for the way i have been acting. i should have talked to you about it, and i should have been there for you. i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

the emotions you had been suppressing for so long came crashing down on you all at once. you said nothing in response to miguel, sobbing in his arms. he rubbed gentle circles on your back, pressing light kisses to the side of your head.

that night, you fell asleep wrapped in miguel's arms for the first time in what felt like a decade.

—

a week after your "fight", you were still in a terrible space, physically and mentally. you were exhausted to say the least. the countless miscarriages and the numerous failed attempts at conceiving a child were all piling up and slamming into you like a truck.

you were lifeless, tired, and you had just about given up. you and miguel had tried everything, and nothing worked. you had come to accept the fact that maybe, just maybe there was no more point on trying. you just had to accept the cards you'd been dealt.

you were tired of trying and trying, only to be disappointed every single time. you were tired of feeling guilty, like you had let down miguel, like you had robbed him the opportunity of the happy family he'd always wanted.

you knew how much it meant to him, but you were simply too exhausted to bear the weight of the constant disappointment and guilt.

so, you made up your mind to talk to miguel. to ask him to just consider that maybe it was time to give up. and that was exactly what you did.

that night, when miguel returned home, you sat him down at the dining table, and told him that the two of you needed to have a talk.

"miguel, i'm tired. i know all you want is a family, but i don't think i can do this anymore. i'm grumpy all the time, i feel like shit, nothing we've tried is working."

"but—" miguel cut himself off, swallowing. you knew he was against it. but you decided to keep quiet and wait for him to express his opinions. after a pause, miguel continued, "okay. querida, i want you to know that you could never, ever disappoint me. i am so, so proud of you for soldiering on til this point. i love you so, so much. but would you consider trying one last time? tonight? please."

miguel looked so hopeful that even you had a spark of hope. seeing no harm in agreeing, you said yes.

that night, before miguel lead you into the bedroom, you prayed to every God, that the two of you would be blessed with a little bundle of joy.

—

in the weeks following your last attempt at conceiving a child, you decided to focus on yourself, and take better care of yourself.

you began eating healthier, going on walks, sleeping earlier. you did everything you could to start feeling like yourself again.

you did things like make smoothies in the morning, cook more meals, and even took up painting.

life was starting to return to normal, and you felt the best you'd felt in months, years even.

you did everything right.

which is why you and miguel were so concerned when you started feeling fatigued, when your body started aching. when your favourite foods started tasting unpleasant, when there was always a persisting metallic taste in your mouth.

so you went to the doctor, who brought you news you'd never thought you'd hear.

—

"well, mr and mrs o'hara, congratulations. mrs o'hara, all these symptoms you've been experiencing are all common symptoms of early stages of pregnancy." the doctor beamed as she shared the news.

you were shocked, to say the least. you turned to miguel, and saw a sparkle in his eye, right before he swiftly picked you up and spun you around as you let out a laugh.

you carried on with the rest of your day with a bounce in your step.

—

the nine months blew by quicker than you'd expected. you had maintained your healthy eating and lifestyle, making sure to keep fit. you took prenatal supplements and vitamins, and did everything you could to make sure that you would safely carry your little bean to term.

miguel had converted the guest room into a nursery, built a crib, painted the walls, he did everything.

before you knew it, your little bundle of joy, your baby girl, was in your arms, sleeping. (not without an excruciatingly long labour, nothing less you'd expect of an o'hara baby).

miguel spent all his time buying new thingsfor your baby, and hovering over you, making sure that the both of you were safe at any given moment.

the struggle with infertility had been long and challenging, but the arrival of your daughter made every tear, every heartache, and every moment of uncertainty and disappointment worth it.

#📓—juniwrites #💌—requests #miguel o’hara x reader #across the spider-verse #atsv #atsv miguel #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara fic #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara angst #miguel spiderman

[kyriearashi-blog]

Why making Aziraphale and Crowley mortal would be more cruel than ending their story with S2

Ever since Michael Sheen replied to a tweet regarding them turning mortal, I’ve seen an uptick in people talking about the theory that that is how their story ends. Perhaps it’s because I just had a death in the family, but the idea of it made me horribly emotional. I managed to outline the reasons why, and wanted to share my thoughts.

1. It undermines Crowley not wanting to become an angel for Aziraphale

It was a huge character growth moment for Crowley, who has been treating Aziraphale gently their entire lives on Earth, to refuse to become an angel to stay with him. To go from refusing to change for him, to changing to a mortal so they can be together, negates this powerful decision. It also feeds into Aziraphale’s idea that they can’t be together as an angel and a demon, which means it would negate any character growth he needs to go through to be able to earn Crowley’s love.

2. Gabriel and Beelzebub were able to be together as an angel and a demon

While Gabriel was willing to change to be with Beelzebub in Hell, at the end they didn’t need to. They could go off together as they were. Why do our heroes, who have experienced so much, need to be humans to be together?

3. They would never be able to go to Alpha Centauri together

While they could technically go before changing, it wouldn’t have the same impact, knowing they could never go again. They met in the stars that Crowley made. To say they can never see them as anything other than fancy wallpaper, for the rest of their mortal lives, simply hurts.

4. They would barely have time together

If they became mortal as we know them, they would have maybe 30 years together. In which time, one would have to watch the other whither and die and be left alone. Then what happens? Do they return to Heaven and Hell? Are they simply dead and gone? Are they reincarnated and meet each other over and over for eternity?

While the latter may seem romantic, it’s simply just as tragic as the other options. They wouldn’t be them. They wouldn’t know the depth of their love, and their story would still end in death, every time. It would be Romeo and Juliet: a tragic and painful romance, that always ends in tragedy and pain.

5. Aziraphale would lose a part of Crowley he loves

Perhaps this isn’t such a big deal, but Aziraphale loves Crowley’s eyes. The color, the expressiveness… he constantly loses himself in them. Obviously, these would be gone, should they become mortal. This may seem like a positive, since Crowley would no longer have to hide behind his sunglasses, but it is yet again a case of changing who he is to be with Aziraphale.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, of course, but I had to get these thoughts out of my mind, which is already dealing with mourning family. If season 3 aired today, and ended with them being mortal, I don’t think I could handle it. Mortality is too tragic to be thrust upon these beautiful characters.

#good omens #good omens thoughts #neil gaiman #ineffable husbands #good omens theories

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I think season 2 of OFMD has some really interesting things to say about forgiveness with Ed's arc. Yes, there's stuff there with how Ed needs to make amends to the crew, but I think the biggest thing there is this: when you're trying to heal, it helps if you make a start towards forgiving yourself.

With Ed's mutiny, there's a tremendous amount of guilt on both sides. The crew love Ed and they didn't want to hurt him, but he made them beat him to death. It sucks, for everyone. The crew are horribly riddled by guilt, scrubbing at blood only they can see. Ed is 100% convinced no one loves him.

Part of Ed starting to feel better about himself is earning the trust of the crew back. Lucius is a harder one, because he was holding on so hard to hate that he forgot he still had a life to live. But Ed's apology and working to make amends do wonders for the rest of the crew. He has a great time having a heart-to-heart with fang. Jim and the others clearly feel miles better after Ed's apology, willing to see through the lousy speech to how Ed's wearing the sack and the bell and trying - "I thought it was pretty good, for him," Jim says. Public apologies are always a bit shit, but Ed's trying, and that's good enough for them. In eps 5 and 6, Ed is lighter and at ease with himself.

But that could only ever be the first step. Ed was perfectly willing to do what he had to and make things up to the crew, and by ep 6, they're feeling much better with him. In a way, despite how horrible the whole mutiny thing was for everyone, though, and despite how Ed needed to earn the crew's trust back, forgiveness was a bit easy in that case, on all sides. I'm not saying Ed's actions to get the crew to mutiny on him were right, I'm saying there's a point where people can't fully be held accountable for their actions, and in the middle of a suicide attempt is one of those times. Yes, it was wrong, yes he needed to make amends, but he was in such a terrible place he wasn't acting like himself or making rational decisions. All factors considered, it was probably pretty easy for both Ed and the crew to reach a place of forgiveness once Ed was back on the ship, feeling more stable, and working to make things right.

Ed throwing his Blackbeard outfit overboard feels, to me, like he's trying to run away from that part of himself. With good reason, too, he's hated being Blackbeard for a long time. But Blackbeard began in living tissue, it wasn't entirely a myth, and Ed needed to be able to make a start at forgiving those parts of himself, too.

Pulling his Blackbeard outfit out of the ocean, Ed makes a return to the parts of himself he's convinced are completely unlovable, and he does it for love. He does it so he can avenge Stede, first, and then so he can fight to protect the man he loves and their crew. He's making a start towards forgiving himself and finding something valuable in the parts of himself he hates the most.

Ed's been trying to do this since he got back on the ship. Fixing the latch, personifying it - "it's not your fault you're broken, you didn't break you." Finding the Blackbeard outfit and using it as a tool to protect others. Ed is starting to see that not everything that happened to him was because he was fundamentally broken, and he can start to come to terms with himself. It'll be slow, but he can forgive himself and meet himself where he's at.

#ofmd #our flag means death

[cas-poisoning]

The way people write John in fic bothers me so much sometimes. Not to judge other people’s writing specifically, just the general fanon characterization of John Winchester. Yes he’s bad a father. Horrible. So much to unpack there. Yet I find it so disappointing when I go to read a fic and he’s like. Cartoonishly villainous. Excluding the fans that actually like John (which is even more crazy), it feels like everyone treats him as like this big bad one dimensional monster which imo is a disservice to the complex relationship Sam and Dean have with them. It’s also a symptom of a broader pattern in media, or even real world events. It’s so much easier to flatly paint anyone bad as inhuman, one dimensional, and just plain evil. Monstrous. But the reality is, every horrible person is still a person. Humans are capable of the evil we do, not monsters.

So when it comes to John, like yes, he is deeply deeply flawed. He really hurt his kids. But often when people write him, it feels like he makes all of his terrible decisions for the sake of being mean and terrible and abusive, which undermines the dynamic because the reality is people can be abusive or neglectful or toxic without being a complete monster 100% of time. It would almost be easier for Sam and Dean if John had actually been like that. But he was their father, who did what he thought was best, and loved them even if he didn’t show it. They have fond memories with him. He’s their father. Which is what makes it so hard for them to actually unpack the trauma they have, because it is so so difficult to realize a person you love is actually actively hurting you. Harder than realizing a villain in your life is just being a villain.

#idk just felt like rambling tonight lol. whenever I read fic with John it’s always like him being as awful as possible #even when it doesn’t align with any character motivations #spn #supernatural #this is a reflection of how we treat morality in media too imo #like there has to be a good guy and a bad guy that is just bad. #and then people apply it to real life. like oh obviously that terrible person is just a monster #but no!!! the people that are kind to you. the people that love you. the people you love. are capable of doing bad things. #and we blind ourselves to realizing when people are harmful by dehumanizing these people because then it be aimed harder to accept #when someone that seems good is actually not

[captainpulisic]

don't want to keep secrets just to keep you - m. mount

thank you so much for all the support in the last fic, it really meant a lot! :) gif credits to owner word count : 1.9 k

relationships can be tricky. they’re complicated enough on their own, but when one of them is a famous athlete, it’s ten times worse. it’s ten times more scrutinizing. mason was no stranger to this. he knew the struggle of trying to navigate a relationship while in the spotlight is what had caused his previous ones to end, most of the time anyway.

before, you’d had the privilege of watching each of these breakups from the sidelines. alongside the general public, you saw the invasive tabloid shots and the weekly cheating scandal headlines. unlike the general public, being masons friend gave you the inside scoop of how frustrating it was to have these flings blow up before they could turn into something serious. 

but now, after years of you both denying your feelings for each other, you were finally together. and mason was going to make sure this didn’t end up like his previous romances had, you were far too important for him to lose. you were special, permanent. home. thus, you made the mutual decision to keep it a secret from the world and even your friends. it was just the wisest choice while you both learned how to handle your relationship being a topic lots of people would have opinions on.

you two had always been attached at the hip, so no one grew suspicious when your allotted hang outs grew more frequent. you were both affectionate people, so no one raised an eyebrow when you had to be touching in some way. it was a known fact that you both had been hurt in past relationships so no one questioned why you both weren’t rushing to go on dates with other people. it was all perfectly normal.

it had been infuriating having to refrain from kissing each other silly in front of others. it had been annoying having to keep sneaking over to each other's houses, making sure no one saw- especially since mason always had some mates around at his place. worst of all, it had been tiresome having to keep up this ruse in front of your friends and everyone else (mason wanted the world to know he was the one guy lucky enough to call you his own. you wanted to shout from the roofs how much space mase took up in your heart- all of it). you felt horrible lying to your loved ones, but the guilt went down a smidge when you remembered why you were doing it. when you remembered how quick things went to shit in his past relationships.

you two were about to hit the seven month mark on your relationship- setting aside the previous 4 years of friendship and a “will they, won’ they?” debate amongst your friend group. you pondered about how nothing would really change if you let your friends in on the truth, if anything they’d be relieved you finally got together. it was the people outside of your circle that worried you. you knew you’d become the main discussion in sleazy gossip magazines and new rumors about the pair of you would roll out every day. no, you didn’t want to put each other through that. you’d do it when the time was right.

“do you ever feel bad lying to the boys?”

it had been a sunny morning in london, quite unusual and quite nice. having spent the night at masons, you both woke up still in your love bubble from the previous night. standing in the kitchen, you were in charge of mixing the blueberries into the pancake batter, while he was on ‘flipping them before they burn’ duty (and he was at a 75 percent success rate). 

“not really.” mason shrugged, “if i tell ben, he’ll tell conor, who’ll tell kai, who’ll tell christian, who’ll tell reece, and soon enough potter will be trying to give me dating advice. now that’s really the last thing I need. ”

you couldn’t help but laugh at that, carrying your pancake-stacked plates to the living room. after settling on which show to watch, you nestled into his side and began eating and conversing. the tv served as more of some background noise, while you basked in each others presence and caught up on life. between his training and your studies (and all then sneaking around), you’ve hardly had the time to just be together. 

“we should do something today, a boyfriend-girlfriend thing.” you mused. 

“a boyfriend-girlfriend thing?” 

“yeah do something a normal boyfriend and girlfriend would do. every time we try, we do it ‘as friends’ or invite someone else along with us. remember how every sunday afternoon we used to go to the park and eat ice cream and just talk?” 

“yeah because we were just friends, it was the only time we could really talk.” mason wondered aloud, “though it has been a while, why’d we stop doing that?”  

“because we got busy doing each other.”

he snorted at that, “we could go later but honestly, im proper tired and want to stay like this a bit longer.”

“see! we’ve gotten too lazy! we opt out of a ten minute walk to the park just to stay laid up on the sofa.”

“but it’s because you look so pretty like this, you have to understand that.” mason pouts, pulling you into his lap and resting his head on your shoulder. he’s not lying, he really does think you look the prettiest when you’ve just woken up and have the sunshine hitting your face. what a view, he thinks. he’s already pulling out his phone before his mind can process what he’s doing. he just has to add this moment into the ever growing collection of pictures he has of you.

he had planned to press a kiss to your cheek but you’d had the same idea. at the last second, with both of your heads turning and no communication, the picture ends up being a blurry selfie of kissing the corner of each others lips. 

“send it to me? please?” you aim for a kiss again, this time on his stubbled jaw. you think its the cutest photo. it perfectly encapsulates how blissfully happy you are in these mundane scenarios. 

“mhm.” mason begins to absentmindedly tap on his phone, too busy enjoying the trail of kisses you're leaving on his face. suddenly, you feel his fingers freeze on the screen and his body tense up.

“everything okay, love?” one last kiss is placed right under his ear.

“well I definitely sent it to you.” you notice his cheeks are now turning an alarming shade of red.

“mase?” he gives no answer, eyes still glued to the screen and fingers still hovering over it. you reach for your own phone that had been discarded on the coffee table. 

well shit shit shit. yeah, he had definitely sent it to you. and to ben and christian and kai and reece and thiago and conor and kepa and every other person in your 30 member group chat that had been made to plan a surprise birthday party a few weeks ago.

“mason mount! what the hell did you just do?” your body began to tense up just as he had.

“I don't know! I saw your name and just clicked on the chat. I didn’t know it was the bloody group one! this is all your fault!”

“mine?” this causes you to snap your eyes to him. the nerve of this man, you swear.

“yes, yours! this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been kissing me. you know what it does to me, you know i'm weak to your seductions.” he adds an accusatory finger point for good measure. 

before you can bite back, the photo on your screen captures your attention again. it’s all over, you mourn in your head. our peaceful little bubble has popped. 

now mason feels like absolute shit, watching you stare at the phone in your hands. as if you’re staring into the void, looking at the picture you can't unsend. he kisses your bare shoulder, “i’m sorry, baby. they might not even check the chat-”

“we all check our messages,” bens voice cuts through, as him and kai walk through the doorway. “baby.”

you hide your face in the crook of masons neck, too embarrassed to exchange pleasantries. you try to bury yourself deeper into his side when you hear their snickers grow louder and an abundance of kissing noises. 

“so we have some news for you guys.” mason sheepishly laughs.

“and we’re really, really sorry we didn’t tell anyone before.” you mumble from your self-exiled hiding spot.

“don’t be sorry, you just helped me win £200 from conor.” ben pats your arm as he takes a seat next to you guys. 

“you were betting on us?” mason scoffs.

“conor was betting against us?” you ask, incredulously. 

“no,” kai responds in a heartbeat. “he just thought it’d take another six months for mason to man up and finally tell you. you know, so we don’t have to hear him talk about how “amazing” you are the entirety of training.”

you turn your face to look at mason as kai does the finger quotes when he says “amazing”, who is now blushing harder than before. just because he tells everyone that you’re the best person he knows doesn’t mean you have to know, too. 

“yeah okay, don't flatter yourself.” he mumbles, squeezing your chin.

“I can't believe they know now.” you whisper-laugh at mason, not having gotten up from his lap through this all. “how am i supposed to act like i’m too cool for you when we all hang out?”

“oh, cmon!” ben snorts. “like we never notice how you disappear together at the end of every night.”

you and mason share a look. “we didn’t realize you’d all seen that.”

“yeah, well we’ve seen it all.” kai grimaces. “including what you did in the locker room last week.”

-

a week had come and gone, questions had been asked from all your friends. when and how this relationship had started, had been established. the sexual questions had been asked and answered with a “fuck off” from mason. as shy as you had been, you were ready to go out and hang out with everyone, as a couple. yes, you’d been doing that for the past few months but no one had really known. 

now it was okay for you two to be next to each other and touching at all times (as if you hadn’t done that already). now everyone knew you were sitting on his lap and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, not just as really good friends, but as a lovesick couple. now it was funny to flip everyone off when they had booed because you and mason had shared a brief kiss, once or twice or nine times. 

“will you get mad if I say that i’m happy we told them?”

“we?” you lightly hit his chest. “you and your horrible attention span told them.”

“and? you still love me, anyways.”

“I tolerate you at best, mount.”

one kiss to your cheek. another kiss to the other cheek. a kiss on your nose. one more on your chin. two kisses on your cheeks again. and by the time his lips met yours, you knew you’d like to spend forever like this. 

“don’t take this the wrong way, guys. we’re really happy for you but if you’re going to be like this all night, you’re not allowed to sit together anymore.”

#mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount fluff #mason mount imagine

[rollofleaf]

Gorgeous art of Arueshalae and Hilde by @darkergrey ! I adore both their designs and the emotion in the scene is sooo good! I also wrote a short little thing for the scene this inspired.

“Wait, Hilde. Before your decision becomes final… Look me in the eye. Please.” Arueshalae worked up the courage to stand, it felt like pushing a mountain off her back.

Nocticula hissed out, “Arueshalae, shut your whorish mouth…” Her claws came out, and the succubus brought all of her willpower to bear against the order for her to kneel.

Suddenly, light chased away the oppressive demand of the Abyss as Iomedae spoke. “Allow her to speak. Or do the words of one succubus frighten you so, Lady in Shadow?” The faintest hint of a smirk tugged at the goddess’s lips as Nocticula clicked her tongue and fell silent.

Arueshalae felt Nocticula’s threatening gaze on her, and Iomedae’s judgmental stare. She didn’t belong with either of them. But neither did Hilde. She finally realized. She and Hilde were the same. She had been where Hilde was going, they were both halfway on the precipice between the Abyss and Elysium. Only she was rising, slowly but surely, and Hilde was descending. No matter what the skald said, no matter what she believed, if she kept going she would become as horrible as Arueshalae used to be.

Hilde slowly turned to look at Arueshalae. Her eyes were sorrowful, her voice soft and timid. The succubus spoke, forcing each word out. “You’ve done so much for me, Hilde. You’ve helped me find my dreams and make peace with my nightmares… Desna showed me the path away from evil, but you are the one who showed me the path towards good. And after all you’ve done for me, I… I just can’t accept that you’re going to become a monster of the Abyss!”

“Arueshalae, I… I’m not. I’m using this for good. Why can’t you… Why can’t anyone see that? I’m fixing the Worldwound! I’m doing more than any holy-blooded crusader has in a century!” Anger and indignation crept into her voice, falling away as she saw the crestfallen look on Arueshalae’s face.

“You said that before these powers, your rage was like a graceful trance. Every battle was a delicate hymn woven with sword and magic, a terrifying yet beautiful prayer to Gorum. Can you truly say it’s the same now? I see how you are when the demon comes out. There’s no joy, no elegance, no awe, only rage and hate. Every time you indulge it, it grows stronger. And you manage to turn it towards good ends, because you’re so wonderful and so strong like that, but how long can that last? You yourself asked me to tell you if you started to lose yourself. Hilde, I am telling you that you are losing yourself.”

Her hand took Hilde’s gently, squeezing with delicate burning fingers. The demon snarled at the upstart succubus, did she truly believe her own delusions of good? Hilde forced it down, biting back any venom that might be directed at Arueshalae. But she still couldn’t… “I can’t just… Give it up. Maybe I am becoming a monster, but I’m too far-“

“No, you’re not. You can always turn back. You can always choose to be better. You showed me that. Back… Back then, you said that you loved me…” Her voice dimmed, terrified to let out the words before she gathered her courage and nearly shouted. “I need you to know that I love you too! Let everyone know, gods, mortals, and demons, I love you, Hilde! And it’s breaking my heart to see this happen to you. Please, free yourself of the Abyss, I’m begging you! I’ll help, I’ll be there for you! Like you helped me…”

The words hit Hilde like a thunderbolt, nearly staggering her back. Arueshalae… Loved her? Tears welled in the skald’s eyes, flowing down her bloodstained cheeks. She glanced down at her hand, clutched in Arueshalae’s. Arueshalae was right. She hadn’t even realized how far she’d gone. And she was hurting her friends, her crusade, and the woman she loved. If she kept going, there would be no turning back. She was trying so hard to help Arueshalae be better, she had forgotten to do the same herself. What a fool she was…

Hilde began to laugh softly, then broke into crying. Her voice was shaky as she calmed herself and spoke, squeezing Arueshalae’s hand back, “You… You’re right, Arueshalae. You’re right. I’m sorry. For everything. You deserved an azata or an angel. Not a demon…” She slowly let go of Arueshalae’s hand and turned back to Iomedae and Nocticula. “I’m sorry, I…” She let out a brief sob and wiped her eyes. “Iomedae… I’ll accept your help. Tell me how to strip myself of these powers and cleanse myself of the Abyss’s influence.”

#pathfinder wotr #oc: hilde svalksdottir #arueshalae #knight commander #I’m just so in love with them #adore Hilde’s bright hair and tan complexion her design has grown on me so much

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

BNHA 420: Nothing About This is 'Okay'

It never fails.

After BNHA 420, I'm definitely done. The only thing that's stopping me from being OFFICIALLY done is the sunken cost fallacy. And some nostalgia in that I used to LOVE BNHA. I mean I still do, I love early BNHA, but the ending is really bad.

This last chapter pretty much did everything I feared. And I was just about to eat a slice of humble pie when it SEEMED like the author faked out the idea that Eri's Rewind would be utilized. But as it turns out... I WAS RIGHT! XD They used her after all.

For once I am not happy to be right. Because what went down was just so WRONG.

Because Eri almost seems GLAD to be used. And these so-called heroes are ENCOURAGING it. She literally mutilated herself just because she thought it would 'help' Deku and the others. This child hurt herself, a child way, way younger than the high-school aged 'heroes', hurt herself. And nobody's worried about it. Not even Aizawa! I don't count that look of shock as worry, otherwise he would have been a lot more upset with her.

But no, he just accepted what this little girl did to herself. No moral qualms about it whatsoever.

Using Eri no matter what was always going to be horrible, but the way it's been done is even more horrible than I could have ever imagined. And it has an extra horrible implication.

Hurt yourself to help people, and let that person hurt themself, even if they're SIX YEARS OLD because it's a 'rational' decision. That is such bullshit btw, how in the hell is that 'rational'? That's actually extremely concerning and yet nobody is even concerned, they just think it's a heroic act? My ass.

I'm still pissed that this little moeblob is truly an example of a perfect little victim who just seems innately good even though she really shouldn't be after everything she's been through. It makes ZERO sense and I really hate it.

I really don't like Eri or her role in this arc as many others are saying now, and I never have. People love to give me flak for it, but I don't care anymore. This is definitely the last straw for me and it just validated that my concerns were right all along.

An adorable little plot device that was always meant to be used for Deku and the heroes. Even though she was used by Overhaul, it apparently makes it 'okay' if the heroes use her because they're heroes. If anything, it makes them just as bad as Overhaul, and if anything, this makes them WORSE than Overhaul.

Overhaul at least never pretended that what he was doing to Eri was okay, but the heroes are such hypocrites that they're using her too and calling it 'rational' and an act of heroism on her part. It's not.

And the worst part is the fandom seems to believe that this makes Eri 'so good' when no, it's deeply concerning for a child to do such a thing to herself. Her actions should NOT be praised, and I don't like the kid, but that doesn't mean I want to see her hurt herself!

It's not okay. None of this is okay. And I am once again, really not okay with this.

#bnha critical #mha critical #bnha manga spoilers #i am not okay with this #mha spoilers #never been this unhappy to be right #hate me if you want #i don't care

[hogoflight]

on the topic of people wondering What The Fuck Is Up with This Guy my friend knows (TOA Apollo), Asclepius having to explain his father to anyone is. Oh boy.

You could say Asclepius lives on Earth / visits Earth much more than he does Olympus because his domain is completely and wholly centred around serving people and helping medical research come through. Additionally because he still finds Olympus and all of its posturing jarring, and maybe finds comfort in helping people like he used to and has done since ancient times.

THIS COULD ALSO MEAN that he has. Mortal friends. Which also means he’s had to have told them about his dad at some point.

Asclepius’s friend: How come we haven’t met your dad yet? Is he a prick? Asclepius: NO, no, my father was and is very kind and gentle to me, the problem is more that he can be rather… a bit much. He sometimes tends to be very… protective (VERY protective) of me (As in, the police get called). The problem is more that he can get a bit. Uppity? sometimes? He’s certainly been… cruel. More than his, or anyone’s, fair share of cruelty. But he’s improving? Asclepius’s friend: Oh wow. That sounds really complicated. Well what about your mother? Asclepius: WELL. YOU SEE. AH. OH GODS UHHHHHH-

They would make a conspiracy board for him being a gang leader (or something)! Because:

Had Asclepius’ mother killed (?!?! THAT’S HORRIBLE WHAT!)

Expressed deep, deep regrets and remorse about having Asclepius’ mother killed in a very “I was young, foolish and failed to think of anyone other than myself… I have worked with violence for a long, long time and have made many horrible, cruel decisions… I fear I am too long gone… but I wish to work with myself to be a better person, for my son whom I love dearly…” kind of way (in a mafia movie way).

Asclepius says he is in exile from his supposedly-infamously murderous family because they tried to kill him (and succeeded but SHHHHHH). And the one to order his death being his grandfather. Because he (vague conclusion through Asclepius being vague about his life) didn’t want someone to die -> didn’t want to kill someone? (“The pipeline is there!!” They say.)

Apollo going “ah yes I too share a great interest in medicine, like my dear son! Although my son is (proudly!) better at so than I am. Well, admittedly, I can sometimes tend to be, less focused on - y’know, helping someone injuries hurt less, you could say.” LIKE THAT’S VERY SUSPICIOUS.

(Ok but don’t worry Asclepius’ friends aren’t actually concerned about his dad being a mafia member at all because that would be actually Awful and Terrifying. This is an inside joke after Asclepius awkwardly explained his complicated relationship w his dad his friend was jokingly like “woah… that sounds like the backstory of a main character from a mafia movie…” and Apollo heard about his from the grapevine and immediately summoned like 20 identical cats for him to intimidatingly stroke. 

The tone of the last section is making a fake BuzzFeed Unsolved / general conspiracy theory video w your friends about one of your friends. No one ever feels like they are in any danger and I imagine most probably know who and what Asclepius and Apollo actually are but tease them with this. BASICALLY THE JOKE IS THAT THEY’RE MAKING FUN OF MAFIA MOVIE STEREOTYPES AND THE WAY THE MAFIA IS DEPICTED IN MOVIES. WHICH IS VERY ROMANTICISED, OVERDRAMATIC AND SILLY.)

#apollo #toa #asclepius #coronis #gang mention

[buckybarnesss]

Even the framing of that shot fucking kills me: the nogitsune confidently staring at Chris, almost amused, and then Derek comes into frame and he's visibly frightened

And he's not looking at Stiles. He's scared of what Chris is going to do TO Stiles. This is really his biggest fear, what he's been worried about this entire time. And what can he do??

the whole thing is just a masterful stroke on the nogitstune's part. it's torturing everyone in that scene including stiles.

like, of course it's obvious how these events hurt the sheriff. that's his child being tortured by an ancient creature and forced to do terrible, terrible things and also who is clearly becoming more like a walking corpse every minute. it used claudia's illness against both him and stiles to make them lose hope. how he maintained any composure i don't know. i'd be a fucking wreck of a human seeing my loved one worn like an ill fitting suit to prom.

for chris? this is a guy who we've seen intimidate teenagers for no real reason other than because he can. he's held scott at gunpoint for daring to be with allison and nothing else but he hesitates here. he hesitates despite hedging with derek earlier about what he would do.

this moment such an inverse to season 1 going all the way back to that confrontation in code breaker between chris and stiles.

i can guarantee chris was recalling it.

argent: let me ask you a question, stiles... have you ever seen a rabid dog? stiles: no. i could put it on my to-do list, if you just let me go. argent: well, i have. and the only thing i've ever been able to compare it to is seeing a friend of mine turn on a full moon. do you wanna know what happened? stiles: not really... no offense to your storytelling skills... argent: he tried to kill me, and i was forced to put a bullet in his head. the whole while that he lay there dying, he was still trying to claw his way toward me, still trying to kill me, like it was the most important thing he could do with his last breath. can you imagine that?

and allison? allison's already made the horrible decision of harming boyd and erica that started the dominos that led to erica and boyd being taken by the alphas and erica being killed.

now she's confronted with this monster wearing her friend's face toying with their emotions. she tries to subdue it but all that does is piss the nogitsune off and annoy him.

she's been manipulated by both kate and gerard to see her friends as being enemies when they weren't only to be faced with the reality of it here.

allison wants to save her friends so badly to make up for her mistakes but with this she might not be able to.

derek's position is just heartbreaking. this is really his greatest fear and failures playing out again.

we don't often see derek express fear. he usually expresses anger rather than let anyone know he's afraid but here? here derek is afraid.

3A set up that derek and stiles had become friends, that stiles had been working with him over the summer to look for eric and boyd, that derek trusted stiles so much it broke jennifer's magic over him ---

and the nogitsune brings itself to derek's loft for protection because it knows derek will do anything to protect stiles.

he's already lost so many people. he's had to mercy kill people he cared about before. again stiles is one of the few who know about paige, stiles witnessed what happened with boyd and peter and jackson. he knows all of this about derek which means the nogitsune does too.

i'm not really sure what kind of derek we would've seen if stiles had died due to the nogitsune.

of course the person often lost in the psychological warfare of the nogitune is stiles.

stiles had to watch all this. had to see his knowledge used against the people he cared about over and over. his hands and body used for terrible things. the nogitsune fed off that more than anything. stiles's fear and confusion and pain. stiles was dying.

it's why the nogitsune was the best villain lol

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #sterek #otp: you need me to survive

[unfortunately-obsessed]

I'll love you like a dog (you'll betray me like a man)

A/N: Not proofread. Rushed this before the gym tbh. Hope y'all guys enjoy. AO3 link

"Why do you need to punish yourself this much?"

Most houses and apartments on Earth-42 rest in darkness, so you glance down the street, eyes straining at the neon of rooftops. It's pouring. Miguel didn't had the chance to put up a fight when you are being this cruel.

The pressure is unbearable, his shoulders tense. You watched him send Gwen back her universe despite the probability of her having to confront homelessness there. You watched Miguel try to hurt a kid, and now you're watching as he sets teams to hunt Miles.

"I need to fix this," he tells you, staring and fists clenched. His voice's flat. It's the same answer everytime. You're used to it.

And you know why, of course. It's the reason why every Spider-Man must suffer.

It's the tenderness of grief. Tender like a bruise.

Miguel suffers and weeps. It's sickening to watch how much pain can make you aggressive.

You're more than aware you're a bad person. Never a hero, never sure why you were accepted among them.

(The truth about the multiverse is that they don't know it enough. The canon theory could be right. It could be wrong. They will never know in their lifetime.

It's cruel and merciless and they will never understand it fully.

You're never fast enough to save a person. You are fast enough to watch them die.

Grief comes in waves. Miguel will never see his daughter grow up.)

"Years dedicated to this job," you lament, voice clear through rain, "It all comes down to letting people die."

In another life, we bump on each other at the grocery store. There, we are meant to a happy ending.

Never this one. Here, Miguel looks at you with dread despite all else.

He stiffens further. And you're on his side, he knows it, because you will always be, loyalty outweighting what you know is wrong.

"I don't need your approval," he says. Miguel looks at you strange, eyes fiery red as if glowing with contained rage.

You inch closer to him. Miguel keeps dooming himself. It always going to end up like this.

"I'm just saying," you start, and there's something horrible inside you, "there's no coming back after this."

It's the awareness that you will let Miguel ruin you. Besides that, you would dissect him to know what's happening in his brain, gut him like a fish.

Grief comes in waves. It outweights reason, born from love. Gabriella's laughter is so loud in his head, right now. Not one day passed that he didn't want to take the his heart out of the chest.

You enable the worst in each other. It's true, you had watched him bite off the neck of a person, blood dripping from his fangs. He had watched you punch someone until your own knuckles scratched open.

"I know," Miguel snarls. Life brimming with sorrow. "But you will be on my side."

Jeff Davis has been dead since the beginning. This can go only one way.

Yet, what were Miles supposed to do? Stay still and watch his father die?

And what were you supposed to do? You'd chose Miguel over anybody else. You were never a good person.

Miguel is, though. Despite everything else, he is trying to do what he finds right. Despite the bitterness, the grief.

Somewhere else, I try harder to stop you. Here, I don't try at all. Here, I will meet you halfway.

It rains. It had been raining. The truth is that you are better a weapon than a person. Never letting go of violence like a mother's hand.

"Always," you say.

"And you understand why," he croaks out, solemnly. Taking a shuddering breath.

You purse your lips. "I do."

Loving Miguel had made you worse. "You will regret this," he waves, leaning closer.

You cannot save. You can only try. In another universe, we grew up together. The grief doesn't end but so does the love.

"Maybe." You smile to him, it's not a happy sight. He doesn't falter. "But you can do anything and I won't leave you."

Miguel is making the wrong decision. It's okay, good people also make bad things.

You stand in front of Miguel, and he loves you too. That's why he allows you to be here. "Just don't go where I can't follow."

Everything's sacrificial– you'll make Miguel's massacre holy until there's nothing else to sacrifice.

A/N: If you like what I do, please consider supporting me and buying a coffee!

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #atsv #arwrites #me!spiderman2o99

[footiehoemcfc]

We'll be Alright pt. 2

Okay so I was able to finish this part yesterday, I definitely think it will have four parts MAYBE 5 (only if I have time to make it longer) but i'm excited for you to read it! I was going to wait until I came back to post it but when I get back I have lots of stuff to do so bare with me for part 3 I promise it won't take much longer than a week. Thankyou for all the love on the first part :) Angst fic, tw none, 2.1k words PART 3 is on my masterlist!

The whole car drive back home was horrible. You started letting your thoughts get to you. Were you too dramatic? Was it too much to let all that out while he is struggling as well? Should you just suck it up and let the season end before talking about this? Maybe. However, the conversation escalated very quickly and before you know it you just let your heart out. When you got home, you thought of calling your best friend, but you didn’t. The last thing you wanted to do was recall everything that happened. You took everything out of your overnight bag, got showered, did your normal skin care routine and feel asleep with your headphones on listening to sad music. 

The night before you didn’t even bother to check your messages to see if Mason had asked if you got in okay. You were hoping he would text you today at least. You opened your messages and nothing, nothing from him at least. Sophia had texted you asking what your plans were for the weekend suggesting having a drink today at the new rooftop bar. You had nothing else to do at night and staying at home dwelling on what happened did not seem like a good plan. You agreed and put your phone down, ready to continue with more work stuff. You had to admit, it hurt that he hadn’t texted you. It sting you, normally if you guys would bicker or argue he would always text you something reassuring, but then again you said you were done. Did you mean it as a breakup? Not really, but how would he know.

Mason on the other hand did not get any sleep at all. He replayed your argument over and over again. He knew he fucked up, but he knew you were also right. All these big decisions, he hadn’t thought through them carefully yet. It kind of bugged him you knew him like the back of your hand. He knows you know how he feels just by simply looking at him. Since he was injured and it was game day, he decided to just stay home and watch the game there. He had meetings with other agents in the morning and his mom was coming over later in the day. Watching the game he thought about texting you, but he didn’t know if you needed space or if you were even together still. He didn’t text, opting for giving you space for the weekend. 

Mason heard the front door open and saw his mom come in. Still on the couch watching the game, he got up and greeted her “Hi mom” with a smile, a sad one. “Hi darling” Debbie said smiling and hugged him. He noticed she stared at him for a little bit and knew she could tell something was wrong. You and his mom had that in common, you could read him so easily. “Why didn’t you go to the bridge today?” “I had a meeting 30 minutes before kick off and would not make it in time, also thought it would be nice to stay in”. They both sat down on the couch and continued watching the game for a little bit until Debbie spoke again “I thought y/n would be here today, where is she, how is she?” she asked smiling. You and Debbie had a great relationship and Mason loved it. You would always have coffee dates and in big family gatherings you would always stick with her because it felt more safe. Mason stopped looking towards the tv to respond, “Yea she’s alright, she’s home busy doing work stuff” “My gosh that poor girl works all the time, last time I saw her she said it was taking a toll on her” “Yea I know”. Mason didn’t know what to say. After last night, the only thing he could think of when he thought of you was the fight. “Mhm” “What is it” “Mason Mount, I gave birth to you, do you think I don’t know you?” Shit. He knew she could sense something was off. I mean if he was going to get advice on his relationship, he never thought his mom would be the first option but here they were. “It’s nothing, we just had a bit of an argument last night” he placed the remote down on the table, got up to make some tea. He knew his mom would not just be satisfied with that, he knew she would be here all afternoon interrogating him so the tea was necessary. Mason and his mom talked about it, for a while. “Listen darling, I’m your mom and I won’t tell you what to do in your relationship. You two work together, and lately you haven’t and that is not a crime. You two are allowed to fight, to make mistakes, to get annoyed, however, in a relationship you owe it to each other to try and fix it and make it work. Give her space, trust me she is probably thinking about you too. And as with the contract, honey whatever you decide to do will be the best option, but make sure it’s what you want.” Mason felt a lot better talking to his mom. She really understood him and having spent time with you too, she knew you would appreciate exactly what she had said. 

It was 9 pm and you were just finishing getting ready to go out with Sophia. You had worked all day so had little to no time to think about Mason. You knew it would come up tonight. Sophia was one of your best friends and whenever both of you had issues with Mason or Kai you were there for each other. You ordered your uber and just as you were about to leave, Mason texted you. You opened your messages to read, “Hi my love, I wanted to give you space today and I knew you had a lot of work so that’s why I didn’t text sooner. I know it’s weird between us right now but whenever you’re ready to talk I’m here”. A wave of relief hit you, you wanted him to text you, so you knew it was not over completely. You didn’t want to answer yet though. The uber arrived and got in it to go to the bar. When you arrived, Sophia was already there. She greeted you with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. You loved nights like this, were you and her could talk about online drama, funny TikTok’s you saw and just catch up on everything especially since you had not seen her for a while. It was nearly 11 pm, you had no idea where time went by. “When should we do it then?” Sophia asked. Both of you thought it would be a good idea to spend the weekend at the Soho farmhouse, mainly her but you weren’t sure since you didn’t know when you and Mason were going to be good again. “I don’t know, maybe next weekend” “Yea we’ll have to check with them to see how their scheduling is. And we should also tell Chilly and his new girl, I met today at the bridge she is very sweet you will like her.” “Great yea, the more the merrier” you said smiling. “Okay it’s been two hours, I’ve been holding in asking you because I thought you would already tell me but what’s wrong?” You sighed knowing you had to remember everything form yesterday and tell her. You told her everything from the fight, to work to family issues and to how you were feeling. “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this?” “I don’t know I feel like I don’t even have time to think about myself”. The mix of alcohol and remembering last night made you tear up a bit. Sophia hugged you, “I know its tough now and yea he fucked up but I am 100% sure he already knows. I feel bad for him too because he is going through a lot too. But you guys are a couple, partners, boyfriend and girlfriend. You two just need to talk. You already told him how you felt, he needs to tell you how he feels because I’m sure he has been holding it in too. You two will get through it I promise.” You looked at her with a sad smiled and hugged her tight. 

You arrived home at 12 pm. Before falling asleep you decided to text Mason back, you knew he would be freaking out since you hadn’t responded. “Hey, I kind of figured. I feel like we both need time to think, but I love you and we’ll talk when were ready” he responded very quickly with a heart and an “I love you too” which put a smile on your face. You knew he was eager to see you and talk to you, so were you but you were right you both need time. You need to think about how to manage work better, your family and how to fix things with him and make him open up to you. He needs to think about how to open up to you, think about his future and think about the upcoming games and prepare.

4 days had passed since that night. You were busy with work still, but you were finding different ways to handle it and asked your boss for more help on the projects you were assigned. Mason had been doing some light training. The conversation he had with his mom put him at ease and made him think about the whole situation better. Your conversation with Sophia also helped a lot and it gave a new perspective on this whole thing. During these 4 days without seeing each other both of you had time to think, and you were still texting each other simple “Hellos” or just casual conversations. But it was not the same as before and it hurt both of you. Both of you just wanted to go back together to how it was. It hadn’t even been a week but it felt like torture. 

After coming home from work, you saw Sophia’s close friend story. It was a picture of her two dogs in Mason’s backyard. Weird, she would’ve told you she was seeing Mason. You didn’t think too much about it and hopped on the shower. Once you were done you checked your phone and had multiple messages. Sophia had created a group chat called “SOHO”. Fuck. Well that explained why she was at Mason’s house, they were probably planning the weekend with Kai and Chilly. If they really wanted to do it soon, it meant you and Mason would probably still be in a weird place. Sophia sent a message saying, “Okay I just added Ben and Alix, I made the reservation for this weekend Friday through Saturday so we should leave all together early in the morning to spend the whole day there and leave like 5 pm Saturday?” Everyone responded with thank yous and yes. This Friday? So, you had what, two days to try and talk to Mason? It was not going to be possible. You were trying to finish everything during the week from work so you had the weekend free and had to visit your family so seeing him would be impossible. Would it be awkward to see him until Friday and act as if nothing happened? Maybe. But you had no choice really. As you were finishing reading all the messages form the road trip, Mason sent you one “Will you be able to go?” you started typing “Yes I can go, although I won’t be able to see you until Friday”. You plopped your phone on your bed and finished getting ready for bed. When you came back to lay down on your bed, Mason had already responded “That’s okay love, I’ll see you Friday. I love you, we’ll be alright.” That melted your heart so much. It made you more confident in how you two were dealing with this little break if you can call it that. You replied with an I love you too and went to bed. 

The rest of the week you continued grinding out at work, trying to finish everything so you had nothing to worry about while you were away. On thursday you were able to visit your family, which was something you were dreading. It turned out to be surprisingly nice, and you felt better about the whole situation. You were very optimistic about the trip, you thought it would be a good idea to have some time just with Mason during one of the two days. You started looking at it in a better light now that you had kind of solved two big problems in your life, now you had to solve the most important.

#mason mount #mason mount fic #mason mount imagine #mason mount x reader #football imagine #fotballer x reader #money Mase #mm19 #angst #mason mount angst

[141trash]

AN: so I know its not exactly simon x reader its all platonic, but I wasn't sure how else to tag this. Actually if you squint it could be Ghost x Soap I'll let you decide :) Sometimes my brain says things should exist so I write them. Loosely borrows the Master of Death concept from the HP series because yes. She's my OC if you want to know more just let me know I mostly just wanted to practice writing Simon idk and wanted him to be comforted :(

"Let's say I believed you," the exhausted lieutenant's voice broke the quiet hiss of sand shifting in the warm breeze. He laid staring up at the cloudless blue sky, knife held limply in one hand. His balaclava was torn off and cast aside, leaving his face exposed to the unrelenting sun.

"Mhm?" Came the sweet voice, acknowledging his words and probing gently for him to continue.

"If I believe you're the master of death or whatever," he croaked out, throat parched, "Why me? Why save me? There're billions of people who deserve to be saved over me."

Her head cocked to the side, observing him for a moment.

"Why do you believe you're not worth saving?" she asked instead of answering. Simon let out a harsh laugh interrupted by a bout of coughing and a resigned grunt of pain.

"y'just need to look at me to know that love. My mask. I'm a killer. Got my family killed. My mum, my brother." he swallowed, voice cracking as he continued, "His beautiful wife, and their little boy."

He gulped feeling the hot sting of tears and used some of his waning strength to swipe them angrily away. When she didn't say anything he turned his head in her direction. It was hard to believe that he wasn't hallucinating. Sitting next to him in the middle of the desert was a six year old in a pink tutu and a burnt tiara of some sort, perched in her golden curls. Small hands drew shapes and patterns in the scorching sand as if the temperature didn't affect her. Big innocent green eyes bore into him in a way that very much felt like she was staring into his soul.

"The skull mask was an interesting choice," She agreed dryly, "I won't disagree that you're a killer either, given your chosen profession. But you didn't get your family killed. The actions of others are not yours to take the blame for."

"Y'r surprisingly wise for a kid."

The master of death rolled her eyes and smiled, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, "Today I'm a kid."

"Sure. like tomorrow you're not goin' to be."

She gave a shrug of her shoulders, "Maybe, maybe not. It's not exactly my choice."

"Y'didn't answer my question." he coughed again, "If you're the master of death. Why me?"

"I don't make those decisions. I think death would be rather cross with me if that was the case. Everything dies at some point. It's part of the cycle. But death says I'm still ruled by my human emotions. If I had the choice, I don't think I would let people die. And then there really would be no point to life."

He laughed again and then groaned, the side where he'd been shot throbbed horribly.

"You sure you ain't just here to kill me?" Simon wheezed out, hands tightening into fists, "Because it sure feels like it."

Tenderly she reached out and smoothed one of his hands, grasping at it with her much smaller one.

"Of course not Simon." she clucked her tongue as if to scold him, "Pain means you're alive. Keep living. Find your reason to keep living. It's important. You're important."

His vision was darkening with each passing second and her voice was growing murky, like he was hearing it underwater. Gasping in panic he forced his eyes open.

"It hurts," it came out as a whimper. She smiled sadly at him, bright green eyes wet with sympathy.

"I know sweetheart, but it won't be forever."

Then she was gone. The small, but reassuring grip she'd had on his hand disappeared and the panic fully settled in. He tried to call out to her. He didn't want to be alone again. Anything, but having to face the world alone again. He wanted to beg and plead for her to return, but his mouth refused to listen.

Rough hands grabbed hold of him, jerking him back to consciousness. When he managed to get his eyes open again he saw a familiar tanned, if a little blurry, face staring back at him with worry in his eyes. Johnny. Johnny was there.

He saw the sergeant's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear. All of his senses were on fire, everything was too loud, to rough, too painful. No part of him didn't hurt.

He was alive and Johnny was here. Weakly he lifted a hand to grasp the shoulder of the Scottish man's vest.

"You're here." was all he managed to gasp weakly attempting to smile before his mind gave out and he fell into darkness. This time he gave in willingly. He wasn't alone anymore.

#ghost x reader #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #sah rambles #i considered not posting this one because i wasnt sure how I felt about it but then i remembered its my blog so who cares #i was gonna wait to post this but what am i waiting for