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csbat · 10 months

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𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 — 𝐒𝐑.

▸ PAIRING: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

▸ SUMMARY: Simon was so used to your presence, so used to you always being there. He’s struggling to cope now that you aren’t.

▸ CONTENT INCLUDES: Major character death, angst, hurt/no comfort

▸ WORD COUNT: 1,033 (+ head-cannons at the end)

Fear was the first and last emotion Ghost ever felt. He was a weapon; cold in the way he burned, poetic in the way he fought bloody and loved the same. He was made of bared teeth and rough hands, carved out of gunmetal and overflowing with carnal brutality. He made fear seem like a carnival performance, like a jester in front of a king.

Watching your body crumble, blood staining the same hands he held not so long ago—hands that felt him—hands that knew him. Yeah, Ghost was fucking terrified.

From blood and tears to tranquil peace. From aching bones to pale skin. From all to none in the blink of an eye. The gunfire ceased, and he spared a thought to wonder why. Maybe it was just him. Maybe he was just too focused on the way your chest didn’t rise and fall. Maybe his heart was just beating so loud in his ears that he couldn’t hear anything else.

Ghost didn’t remember stumbling toward your body, didn’t remember cradling you in his arms, and he didn’t remember shaking you with desperation. No, he remembered your silence. He remembered holding your pale face in his palms, his hands shaky and his voice wavering as he mumbled hushed apologies against your skin.

“I’m sorry.” He kissed your cheek—messy and so fucking painful. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Your neck, your jaw, your forehead. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

For what felt like an army, Ghost was the last face people saw; the cause of many’s demise. He’s heard so many people’s last words, from pleads to apologies and everything in between. He carries so many final thoughts with him, things he never thought he’d care about until he realized that he’d never know yours.

He’d never get to see you smile again. He’d never get to hear your laugh, or the shakiness in your voice when he told you he loved you. He’d never get to take you out, watch you admire the sunset and call the view pretty, and he’d never get to agree while his gaze was still on you. He’d never get to help you fold laundry again, or hear you sing along to the radio, or watch you dance around the kitchen in the middle of the night.

Someone once told Ghost that the greatest ability one could have was the ability to remember.

Someone was a fucking liar.

Simon didn’t want to remember you, he wanted to know you. He needed you here, because the second you were gone he felt homesick. He felt like he was too big for his body, like he was suffocating without your presence to breathe life back into him.

He was his own villain, but love was his betrayer.

Ghost has died many times now; the kind of death that you don’t notice. The kind that can’t be seen. Once when his father made him watch that prostitute overdose, twice when he got buried alive, three when he came home to find his family slaughtered. He didn’t want to think about the fourth. Ghost has died many times, but he’s never felt the cold arms of death impaling him. He’s never wished it would handle someone so softly.

He hoped it was peaceful. He hoped it felt like sitting in your favorite garden and feeling the sun on your skin. He hoped the wind was blowing, and he hoped the porch light turned on when it grew dark. He hoped it wasn’t as cold as he felt without you.

Ghost turned his sorrow to anger. He wouldn’t rest until everyone that had ever hurt you was buried in the ground, wouldn’t rest until he made them statistics. He’d make you a graveyard in his desperation as if it were a sacrifice. As if he could turn in twenty-seven souls for the release of one. He’d find someone to blame, and he’d make them pay for it.

If he had to, he’d even make the gods suffer. He’d make them listen, make them greet his cries with their own while his grief haunts the soil and his turmoil shakes the clouds. They’ll fear him when he rips through the ground with his bare hands, desperate to feel your touch. Your hands would be cold, but he’d take them into his and warm them with the burden of his existence. The gods will have no choice but to pray for his forgiveness and beg for his mercy.

The only thing that could stop him was dead, and he’d return the favor until his body was rotten.

Home never felt so far away, even when he was standing in it. It went from his favorite place to a cage; nothing but four walls and a roof that felt abandoned by your lack of presence. Simon was like a ghost at the table, sitting there just to reminisce on the late nights you’d spend there with him. He almost imagined what you’d say if you were here now. Probably some shitty joke he’d pretend to hate. A shitty joke that he’d tell Soap later. A shitty joke that would live in the back of Simon’s mind until his memory failed him, stored with all the others you’ve told.

He didn’t find comfort in the walls decorated with your love and ideas. Almost desperately, they screamed: you won’t find comfort here. This is not your home anymore. She doesn’t haunt the halls. You won’t find her no matter how hard you look. Your records were still sprawled out on the coffee table, and the puzzle you were working on sat unfinished on the kitchen counter. He couldn’t bring himself to move the things you touched. Couldn’t even stand to look at them.

You were a good person. You deserved a soft ending with him. Curled up on the couch, skin wrinkled with age, a warm cup of tea in your hands. Simon knew he’d still find you beautiful.

He’d find you in the garden, laying in the tall grass and smiling when the sun hit your skin and the breeze flew past.

He’d turn on the porch light when it got dark.

THINGS THAT HAPPENED AFTER YOUR DEATH:

: The recruits learned that Ghost only tolerated them because you were around

: None of the task force sits at the table in the mess hall that you always occupied (except for Ghost)

: Every time someone mentions anything that has to do with you (your favorite movie, favorite subject, etc.) Ghost would lash out

: Ghost would throw himself into his work to distract himself from the silence of your home

: He’d always wear the hoodie that you stole from him, trying to imprint your scent into his skin

: He’d eventually grow old (shocker), and he’d hate himself for leaving you behind

▸ A/N: I genuinely cannot tell if the shit I write is good or not, but I hope whoever read all this isn’t disappointed. It’s late and I’m tired, so I didn’t really go into how others reacted, but I might elongate this in the future. If you can’t tell, I fucking love angst + making indifferent men feel pain, because yes. Just yes. I still have no fucking clue how this shit works, so bare with me please, we’ll get there eventually 😭

P.S, I tried a new color scheme, don’t know if I love it or hate it yet

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #i still don’t know what i’m doing #i still dont know what to tag #cod mw2 #ghost deserves peace #sadly he’s not getting it here #i love angst #pov you’re dead as fuck #not proofread #we die like men

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anipgarden · 11 months

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Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times.

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own!

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success.

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water.

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through.

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick.

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #environmental stewardship #gardening #outdoor gardening #(i know this is literally the Dont Gotta Garden post but these could also be excellent additions to a preexisting garden so)#ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #here in the tags to once again emphasize your mileage may vary with all of these #my mom is scared of bats theres no way in hell shes gonna let me put up a bat box #but I have been able to put out a shallow bird bath and a little solarpowered hummingbird bath fountain #do what you can! every bit counts! You may be able to do something that I or your neighbors can't!#for example my nextdoor neighbors have literally no trees in their backyard where the hell would they put a bat box #meanwhile i have trees in my backyard but still can't put up a bat box. maybe the neighbors next to me could!#similarly brush piles are a no go for my family but someone somewhere else could set one up!#i am rambling in the tags now uh long story short do what you can don't stress about what you can't

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