#sadly he’s not getting it here

[csbat]

𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 — 𝐒𝐑.

▸ PAIRING: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

▸ SUMMARY: Simon was so used to your presence, so used to you always being there. He’s struggling to cope now that you aren’t.

▸ CONTENT INCLUDES: Major character death, angst, hurt/no comfort

▸ WORD COUNT: 1,033 (+ head-cannons at the end)

Fear was the first and last emotion Ghost ever felt. He was a weapon; cold in the way he burned, poetic in the way he fought bloody and loved the same. He was made of bared teeth and rough hands, carved out of gunmetal and overflowing with carnal brutality. He made fear seem like a carnival performance, like a jester in front of a king.

Watching your body crumble, blood staining the same hands he held not so long ago—hands that felt him—hands that knew him. Yeah, Ghost was fucking terrified.

From blood and tears to tranquil peace. From aching bones to pale skin. From all to none in the blink of an eye. The gunfire ceased, and he spared a thought to wonder why. Maybe it was just him. Maybe he was just too focused on the way your chest didn’t rise and fall. Maybe his heart was just beating so loud in his ears that he couldn’t hear anything else.

Ghost didn’t remember stumbling toward your body, didn’t remember cradling you in his arms, and he didn’t remember shaking you with desperation. No, he remembered your silence. He remembered holding your pale face in his palms, his hands shaky and his voice wavering as he mumbled hushed apologies against your skin.

“I’m sorry.” He kissed your cheek—messy and so fucking painful. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Your neck, your jaw, your forehead. “Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

For what felt like an army, Ghost was the last face people saw; the cause of many’s demise. He’s heard so many people’s last words, from pleads to apologies and everything in between. He carries so many final thoughts with him, things he never thought he’d care about until he realized that he’d never know yours.

He’d never get to see you smile again. He’d never get to hear your laugh, or the shakiness in your voice when he told you he loved you. He’d never get to take you out, watch you admire the sunset and call the view pretty, and he’d never get to agree while his gaze was still on you. He’d never get to help you fold laundry again, or hear you sing along to the radio, or watch you dance around the kitchen in the middle of the night.

Someone once told Ghost that the greatest ability one could have was the ability to remember.

Someone was a fucking liar.

Simon didn’t want to remember you, he wanted to know you. He needed you here, because the second you were gone he felt homesick. He felt like he was too big for his body, like he was suffocating without your presence to breathe life back into him.

He was his own villain, but love was his betrayer.

Ghost has died many times now; the kind of death that you don’t notice. The kind that can’t be seen. Once when his father made him watch that prostitute overdose, twice when he got buried alive, three when he came home to find his family slaughtered. He didn’t want to think about the fourth. Ghost has died many times, but he’s never felt the cold arms of death impaling him. He’s never wished it would handle someone so softly.

He hoped it was peaceful. He hoped it felt like sitting in your favorite garden and feeling the sun on your skin. He hoped the wind was blowing, and he hoped the porch light turned on when it grew dark. He hoped it wasn’t as cold as he felt without you.

Ghost turned his sorrow to anger. He wouldn’t rest until everyone that had ever hurt you was buried in the ground, wouldn’t rest until he made them statistics. He’d make you a graveyard in his desperation as if it were a sacrifice. As if he could turn in twenty-seven souls for the release of one. He’d find someone to blame, and he’d make them pay for it.

If he had to, he’d even make the gods suffer. He’d make them listen, make them greet his cries with their own while his grief haunts the soil and his turmoil shakes the clouds. They’ll fear him when he rips through the ground with his bare hands, desperate to feel your touch. Your hands would be cold, but he’d take them into his and warm them with the burden of his existence. The gods will have no choice but to pray for his forgiveness and beg for his mercy.

The only thing that could stop him was dead, and he’d return the favor until his body was rotten.

Home never felt so far away, even when he was standing in it. It went from his favorite place to a cage; nothing but four walls and a roof that felt abandoned by your lack of presence. Simon was like a ghost at the table, sitting there just to reminisce on the late nights you’d spend there with him. He almost imagined what you’d say if you were here now. Probably some shitty joke he’d pretend to hate. A shitty joke that he’d tell Soap later. A shitty joke that would live in the back of Simon’s mind until his memory failed him, stored with all the others you’ve told.

He didn’t find comfort in the walls decorated with your love and ideas. Almost desperately, they screamed: you won’t find comfort here. This is not your home anymore. She doesn’t haunt the halls. You won’t find her no matter how hard you look. Your records were still sprawled out on the coffee table, and the puzzle you were working on sat unfinished on the kitchen counter. He couldn’t bring himself to move the things you touched. Couldn’t even stand to look at them.

You were a good person. You deserved a soft ending with him. Curled up on the couch, skin wrinkled with age, a warm cup of tea in your hands. Simon knew he’d still find you beautiful.

He’d find you in the garden, laying in the tall grass and smiling when the sun hit your skin and the breeze flew past.

He’d turn on the porch light when it got dark.

THINGS THAT HAPPENED AFTER YOUR DEATH:

: The recruits learned that Ghost only tolerated them because you were around

: None of the task force sits at the table in the mess hall that you always occupied (except for Ghost)

: Every time someone mentions anything that has to do with you (your favorite movie, favorite subject, etc.) Ghost would lash out

: Ghost would throw himself into his work to distract himself from the silence of your home

: He’d always wear the hoodie that you stole from him, trying to imprint your scent into his skin

: He’d eventually grow old (shocker), and he’d hate himself for leaving you behind

▸ A/N: I genuinely cannot tell if the shit I write is good or not, but I hope whoever read all this isn’t disappointed. It’s late and I’m tired, so I didn’t really go into how others reacted, but I might elongate this in the future. If you can’t tell, I fucking love angst + making indifferent men feel pain, because yes. Just yes. I still have no fucking clue how this shit works, so bare with me please, we’ll get there eventually 😭

P.S, I tried a new color scheme, don’t know if I love it or hate it yet

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #i still don’t know what i’m doing #i still dont know what to tag #cod mw2 #ghost deserves peace #sadly he’s not getting it here #i love angst #pov you’re dead as fuck #not proofread #we die like men

[popsicle-stick]

hey, don't cry. night of the 26th may, ok?

#pour one out for the cab driver here...... #'we shall both swear to leave you at home if you drink too deep to a certain pair of eyes.' sure thing quincey you do that #jack may have drowned his sorrows but at least he gets to sadly cop a feel <3 (as someone on the discord beautifully put it) #dracula #dracula daily #jack seward #arthur holmwood #quincey morris #lottieart

[ba1laur]

last saturday that will be spent staring 20 minutes at a screen watching this guy go thru incomprehensible horrors. cant wait to have normal weekends from now on

#im a trimax truther sorry brothers there will be little stampy art in here. #however i feel like its my duty to draw this guy chilling after watching him get shoved in a meat grinder for Iike 10 episodes. #may the finale be nice to him #also he is fun to draw.. i do prefer the original due to how many creative liberties i can take (with the coat lol) #however this vashie is also very good he looks like a butch lesbian which he also happens to be btw trust me i work on the show #i wish we got more episodes of him having a good time ): #but sadly hes stuck in an anime with 12 episodes with a pacing that could kill a victorian boy #trigun stampede #vash #vash the stampede #fanart tag #trigun #art tag

[introspectivememories]

god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"

#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear #bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time? #bear: 2 years? 6 months? #tim sadly: you can have me forever bear #bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams #bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here. #god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again #you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay #he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway #tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime #sorry im like sobbing in the library #bear is so 'right where you left me' coded #bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again #head in hands head in hands #dc #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #timber

[cold-neon-ocean]

Remember when I drew everyone as horses lolol??? I should bring that back tbh that was fun. I can't believe these are 3 years old (yeah i can sheesh) I kinda want to bring this AU back though, it was fun and evoked happiness for me ;; my silly horsies

#Legend of Korra #Korra #Bolin #Kuvira #Baatar Jr. #LoK #LoK AU #centaurs #[ repost because I posted this at ass o'clock last night lolol #anyways you get the senior discount if you remember these! #sorry I didn't repost Asami with the rest her art is just so Not Good I'm ashamed to look at it alkjsdfsdf #but I made up for it with a complimentary Bolin!!!! #Look there he is he's here now!!! #I had drawn him along with all the others but never posted him because I wanted to post him with Mako since everyone got posted with a budd #but sadly never got around to drawing Mako c': #I should do that sometime tbh I miss this AU A good centaur AU always warms the heart and sooths the soul #I'd originally posted them with their breeds and coat colors but some folks might get changed *cough* Baatar #these were from back when I really didn't know how to draw anyone because I'd JUST gotten into drawing LoK fanart lol #Baatar doesn't even have his black uniform in this wow #I still like these designs tho buckskin roan Kuvira my pride and joy look at her ;;;; #and blue appy Korra sobs I really loved how she came out tbh one of my favorites I'd actually never drawn Korra before that #idk if I'll ever be able to recreate that shine on Baatar tho i don't even remember what I did ] #Neon Ocean Art

[ashersanity]

That one scene where Whitney puts you in a cock cage but you turn the tables and put it on him instead. Hell maybe even put him in one of the flat ones too. Sorry I was feelin evil for a sec

God I wish.

Shocked look on his face as you turn the tables on him, you, you fucking little shit that he’s so used to toss around like a ragdoll, having the sheer audacity to clasp the cage around his own cock instead. Just know he’ll be shocked for a good couple of seconds before he’s all pissed, cussing you out and trying to get it off of himself but with his insistent tugging and pulling, you can’t help but snicker at the sight. Seriously, Whitney is built on being horny, he has urges, he needs to fuck and for you to do that shit to him, he’s going to be mad as hell. Oh no, he can’t hit anymore. Way too fucking bad, not only that, there’s another way now, Whitney. Your cock may be trapped in that annoying little chasity belt though your hole sure isn’t, free and tight, ready to be used by a good fat fucking cock.

I just see it as an opportunity to show him a whole new world, get him on all fours like a hung bull, y’know the ones that Remy disciplines on a daily basis, slutty little hole on display without his cock for show making it look like he has a leaking pussy more than anything. Fucking watch at the way he’s seething, frustrated huff leaving him as he’s unable to get himself off. No, no, just fuck his ass instead, slamming my hips against his own fucking behind, hammering his prostate till he’s reduced to a dumb moaning slut, whining for a break. Rewire his fucking mind, get ‘im into a mating press just so I can stare at the way his tongue lolls out of his mouth, eyes rolling back and drool uselessly running down his chin. I’ll have him conditioned so he can’t even think about a basic bitch’s loose pussy anymore, just a fat cock drilling his sore hole, already reaching down to finger himself stupid.

Dumb fucking bitch.

Or just blue ball him for the rest of the month, idk lmfao

#woah asher #I assume the turning the tables thing is just an idea #I heard of the cock cage thing but never turning the tables on whitney #when can do it #looking up at vrel with puppy dog eyes so he can make the sub whitney update that he promised happen #I’m willing to wait #sadly I never got the cock cage scene #I think it requires you to have a small dick and masturbate mid class #and my pcs suffer from bcd unfortunately #big cock disorder #guess I’ll have to reduce ashers fat cock to get it #we feeling a little evil around here fellas #dol #whitney the bully #asher has.. thoughts #asher gets asks

[dreadark]

people keep posting arknights npc bingos so i made my own

incandescence is in the middle because I want her the most and also to ruin this bingo's chances of ever being filled

(and yea the square below is for mantra)

#arknights #sadly excluding dead chars or you know outcast would be here #and... [ch13 spoiler] ........ #wonder if i forgot anyone obvious... maybe there's some recency bias #mr benthonexigios gets a special shoutout bc he's probably in my idk... top 5 npcs #so stay an npc forever pls <3 #post

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Zeb Wells I'm in your walls because what the actual fuck is this shit???

Because it definitely isn't something Spiderman whose gone out of his way to visit fans dying of cancer or other medical conditions or tried to save a homeless girl who was a fan of him only to be too late, would say.

#zeb wells #spiderman #the amazing spiderman #like not only is this an insult to the kid who collects spiderman #but its also one to an issue where spiderman is with another kid with lekumia #as hes playing spiderman with the kid as it was the kids wish #but when playtime is over and the hospital and parents say its time to go to bed #the kid refuses and spiderman learns its because the kid is afraid he wont wake up #causing spiderman to ask if the kid has a coat and we see why as he takes the kid for a swing across the city #giving the kid more time of being like spiderman #then there's the time he visited a wounded kid in hospital who is also a spidey fan and looked up to spiderman #and said kid figures out his identity and the two talk before sadly the kid has a caradiac rest and peter goes to his funeral #where his parents ask peter to give the kids home-made comics to spiderman and peter promises #let alone the comic leah where he finds a homeless girl also a fan dying and does try to save her via getting her to the hospital #but its sadly too late as the doctors cant do anything #meaning all spiderman can do is lift his mask a little and give her a forehead kiss #and wish her sweet dreams as we see her in dreams with all the heroes she admires #like long tags here but thats how much this 'joke' angers me #let alone even if you removed all of peters history WHY THE HELL IS THIS A 'JOKE' SOMEONE LET PASS- #no character should be doing that wtf

[b4kuch1n]

Your swsh art always makes me want to replay the game because i love it and its my favorite pokemon game and every time i play another pokemon game i think of it how i miss certain elements from swsh. Then i boot up the game and im once again caught in the 1 hour 40 minutes hand held intro and im like ah- now i remember why i have been playing other pokemon games instead of this one. Happy (late?) birthday!

you don't want to listen to hop? you don't want to hear him teach you about type matchups? you don't wanna let him cheer u on...? 🥺 waa....?

#ask #bakuspeech #I am joking to be clear lmao #thank u happy bday to me !! #tbh I got real used to pokemon overexpositioning since sumo lol. it's kind of a boon for me #cause I'm not a Gamer™ and my brain takes stuff on Very slowly #so the tutorial stuff and the cutscenes give me time to catch up. also it's still fun to see these guys run around #I am in fact here for these guys lol. weird thing to say about the game built on and with an essential focus on the pokemon I know #I just like humans! I just like watching hop running circles around my player character all excited #and leon being a dick to his hometown people when they're expecting 'leon' back and they get the champion instead #and you get to see sonia used to dealing with it but the frustration never fully fades and how close she is to hop and that picture's bleak #listen this is my bread&butter lol. leon really doesn't show up That much himself around the game he's a shadow casted over the story #it's always interesting to me! does Not mean it's not sluggish to other people who want to play the game lmao #but I like it. also the tutorial at least the first time around was necessary to me bc the difficulty scales way up later on lol #it's a very good first pokemon game I maintain this. sumo never managed to teach me the same way swsh did #I still care drampa tho thank u drampa for being real I love u #lmao it feels like saying I'm not a Gamer™ violates some tenets of having adhd somehow. but its just the case here #the main genres I play are 'itch games tangential to the haunted ps1 people' and 'popcap-style casual games' #my sport's figuring out shapes n movin my stylus sadly. well not sadly why would that be sad

[ur-local-kiwi]

i feel like we need a knk slice of life spinoff thing. the doomed yaoi storyline we have rn is good and all, but tbh i wanna see all my favorite goobers just hanging out and doing normal people things. i think thatd just be nice honestly

#kiwi is eveposting... #kara no kioku #i feel like having something like that would be a refreshing change of pace compared to the constant peril of the main storyline tbh #and i wanna see more of the characters and get to know them better !! #like 90% of the cast never really gets their chance to like... have any sort of personality imo #even rei gets cheated out of this tbh. i cant even really describe rei as a person because hes just A Guy Who Is Suffering #< same thing with nagi and yukito tbh #but its even worse for rei because like. hes the protagonist and yet hes sadly not that memorable or unique #anyway sorry for the rant in the tags here... that was not intentional TTOTT

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Los Chicos Peleandoooooo

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #song lan #xue yang #I know it makes jokes less funny if you explain them but I feel like I gotta for this one: #xue yang’s Spanish here is playing on the fact he’s a beginner (using a commonly taught phrase) #combined with the fact that he’s clearly taking what he’s heard Xiao Xingchen use. #of course XY would want to know how to cuss someone out in another language. Do you think XXC would teach him how? Nope. #XY would ask ‘How do I to someone I really hate them?’ #and XXC would say ‘You tell them ‘Te Amo Mucho’ :•)’ #As FAR as XY is concerned he knows *so* many swears. These words are just terms of endearment. #XXC would not swear or cuss anyone out but he *would* punctuate phrases with general terms of endearment. #More so directed towards A-Qing but Xue Yang has been proven to be a decent indirect learner. #That said he has also been shown to Not Quite Get The Nuances (consequences of observational learning). #Sadly he never had a good observational model for love or compassion B*( #Spanish speakers please oh god please correct me if I biffed something badly here. I can fix it.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

if i had a genie lamp id wish for Three Things: 1) spiders stay the fuck away from me & out of my spaces. 2) infinite moneys. 3) draw quickly.

#mainly the Draw Quickly one #i scribble so so so so slow #i could share So Much More if i could do more than one full doodle per night #like that one butterfly!howdy thing where he jumped off the roof? took me all fucking night #im not even exaggerating lmfao it took Hours #i looks at people cranking out a+ doodle posts and im sadly gazing from behind my rain-streaked window a la kermit #except its not rain streaked. i havent seen rain in months i think #absolutely unprompted #oh while im here lemme give a spider update No One asked for #yeah so yesterday the Biggest wolf spider i have Ever seen decided to set up camp in my bathroom. bc of course it did. #i mean that thing was. disturbingly big. freakazoid city. #i had to chase it into the bathtub with my spider-fighting broom #and then i uhhhhhh febreezed it until it couldnt move. #then i washed it down the drain with a high powered jet of shower water #do i feel bad? yes of course. but there was no other way that i could handle. #im assuming that when i go get a Snack right after posting this another spider will be in the hallway or in my bathroom #its summer. unfortunately. there will only be more and more crawling inside #edit: my cat magically Appeared in my room. i stg both of them were out when i closed the door

[storge]

Guo Haojun | Rising Feather (2023)

#rising feather #青雀成凰 #cdramaedit #userdramas #cdrama #asiandramanet #cdramasource #guo haojun #mymymy #ep 17 #our lil doctor here went from like ehh to AYE and all it took was for him to get an arrow to the back thinking he was trying to save FL #but alas it was crazy 2nd lead wifey who he is DEFFFF gonna have something somethingggg with #looking forward to that cause she cray and lil dumb but she deserves some love toooooooo her life just SUCKS haaah #yeahhhhh she spoiled and she did some bad stuff but if I was in her sitaution rn i would have been prb been evil too lolol #and okay sooooooooooooo #this drama is a messsssssssss like a fenderbender where its not THAT interesting the longer you stare at it but you still wanna look #i love watching that toxic fight love cray sadly lolololool #mainboii juilin can truly carry a drama and him with FL are t..t..ttttt... TOXIC where you just go ??? are they even on the same page #ive peaked the future eps and the end so i will prob gif the happy stuff when I get there offically

[snowangeldotmp3]

(no moodboard or cover for this one--yet.)

anyways hellooo this is a late bday gift for the wonderful @lionydoorin <3 happy bday ma!!

first time writing fic for the hunger games soooo pls be kind thank u <3

#my writing #my fics #the hunger games #everlark #peeta mellark #HE/HIM BUTCH PEETA IS REAL. TO ME. #sadly i don't get into it enough here. but there is more to come !

[stunticonbreakdown]

A tiny breakdown to drag around your screen so he can have a little drive. Here is a road he can go on as well:

#i did this on discord and its so fun however discord png movement is limited so he should have some fun here #sadly i think this only wokrs kn desktop so i cant do this until i get home (grr) #breakdown #transformers #g1 breakdown