#i see a character that wishes they were dead but doesn’t die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

impactedfates · 3 months

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Hi hi I'm feeling so cruel right now >:]

So uuuh HCs for DH[IL], Jingyuan, Blade and Welt reacts how does their child [reader] dies... Like imagine how reader dies is like how the Genshin Playable characters die [they dusted away]

Please feed me a n gst

—🫶🏻 Anon

★ A/N: The way the reader dies reminds me of how one of my ocs species dies lmao. Hopefully this is up your ally :))

☆ Genre/Trope: Platonic + Familial + Angst

★ Format: Bullet Pointed HeadCannons (It kinda turned into a mini story I think-)

☆ Warnings: Mentions of Death (Readers)

★ Extra: Adopted reader in all // Reader is under 12 for Dan Fengs, and in their teens for the rest // Giving Jing Yuan more of a sad life/hj // Wrote this in WellBeing class lmao // Characters may be OOC

Dan Feng as a High Elder doesn’t always have the time to really see you. Sure when he first adopted you he did spend a good chunk of his time with you but eventually his duties caught up.

He appointed someone to look after you. Someone that you knew and that he knew. Someone trustworthy.

So when he came back to his home early one day, the house dead silent. He grew worried. He called out to the person, to you. But there was no response.

He walked to your room, perhaps the both of you fell asleep. Wouldn’t be the first time.

But all he could witness was dust covering your room. And the man no where to be seen.

He knew instantly where that dust came from, he was quick to search for him. Found him hiding thinking he could get away, unaware that Dan Feng would be home early, unaware Dan Feng would catch him.

The man he had trusted to protect you, was the same man who ended the life you should’ve continued to have.

Dan Feng was quick to throw the man in the Shackling Prison, praying to whatever Aeon that can hear him that he gets what he deserves.

He collected as much of the dust that was still in his house, the last thing that he had of you. And carefully placed them in a jar.

Many question the High Elder why he holds a jar of dust so dearly to him, and all those times he refuses to answer. Not wanting to break down in front of the other Vidyadharas.

It was only a mission, a mission he sent you and Yanqing on. He had thought there were only a few Mara struck soldiers that had to be defeated.

He had wondered why Yanqing slowly entered the Seat of Divine Foresight without you. He had wondered why Yanqing was breathing rapidly and on the verge of tears.

Jing Yuan comforted Yanqing before asking about your whereabouts. Perhaps you were getting snacks after a successful mission? Yanqing could only try to explain in a shaky voice, clearly startled and upset.

But why would he be upset? You were his adopted sibling and was usually so kind to him. You wouldn’t have done anything to hurt him?

Yanqing tried his best to explain, stuttering over his words and needing to take a few deep breaths, the General listened carefully.

…Ambush? Well…Jing Yuan supposed he made an error in that. He only thought there were a few. Wow, if you and Yanqing didn’t know about that then you could’ve been caught off guard and…

Oh!

Oh…

Jing Yuan quickly connected the dots, he slowly held Yanqing closer, witnessing his own sibling fall to the hands of the Mara struck then be faced with dealing with the remaining enemies…he couldn’t imagine the stress.

A ceremony was held in your honour. Your dust already gone away like the wind so your memories will follow as he sends multiple starsciff at with gifts.

But he’ll always remember, he’ll remember the regret he felt that he couldn’t do anything nor could he have seen that an ambush would occur.

He wished he could’ve done something.

Are you dumb or something??

Blade could’ve taken that hit. Why’d you have to take it!?

He would’ve been fine. He wouldn’t been okay, a relief would’ve washed over him even though he knew he’d survive.

So then why did you have to take the hit that was meant for him, and leave him in a state of rage?

He quickly disposed of the pests that caused your demise, before trying to check on you. But all he could do was watch as your body dusts away.

He tried his best to grab any dust he could but most went with the wind. All he could do was stand there questioning why you would do that.

He said he’d protect you. Everyone else in the Stellaron Hunters were busy so he had to take you with him when he did his part. Yet it ended with you gone.

There was a small ceremony for your disappearance from the earth. Elio as much as he may not want too, he continued sending people on missions however allowed Blade to opt out of them he could properly mourn.

Blade still wonders why you decided to save him when he would’ve been fine, he wonders if he’d be able to save you if he noticed the enemy creepy behind him.

It was just a small argument. Welt felt bad but allowed you to storm off. You’d return eventually anyways. You’d return once dinner was ready back at the express, you knew what time that was.

But you never did return did you? Welt had thought long and hard and was ready to apologise for his words yet you weren’t back yet? Did you get dinner then go to your room?

He went to check, your room was the exact same you left it.

Did…anyone see you come back? He questioned the members of the express. None have seen you.

Finally he grabbed his coat and cane and went to look for you. Went in the direction you went and searched. As he walked his foot stepped in something. Looking down confused, his eyes widened.

Golden Dust. Dust that he knew belonged to you. Dust that told him you were gone.

And he wasn’t able to tell you he was sorry.

Welt is silent as he walks back, he let the wind take your dust elsewhere. A place he hopes you’d be happy in.

He was quiet but able to tell the express what happened. Each of them holding a small funeral for you. They kept your room intact, filled with things you loved before locking it. That room will no longer be filled with warmth but will soon grow cold.

Welt drew a picture of you, keeping it safe with him. And despite how it may seem that eventually he was over your death. He could never be.

Not until he was able to apologise for the argument.

But that won’t happen anytime soon now will it?

This was actually rlly fun to write!! Especially in well-being haha. This was meant to be posted yesterday but something came up so here it is now haha.

Might've missed some warnings, so as always. Please inform me if I did.

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stem-sister-scuffle · 3 months

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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 2 MASHUP 7

Alphys (Undertale) vs Jade Harley (Homestuck)

Alphys is a Roboticist, Biologist and Souls/Determination Researcher!

Jade Harley is a Nuclear Physicist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Alphys:

"Because she messed with DETERMINATION and made Amalgamates, blending monsters into each other to form horrible combinations of undead beings. She’s a lesbian"

"Man made horrors, overwhelming guilt, cute lizard girl, bisexual"

"SHE'S SO CUTE. She's awkward and shy but you can tell she knows a lot about what she does!! She's also a bit of a tragic character considering her biological endeavors have gone kinda. wrong. SHE'S BI AND LIKE ANIME 🫶"

"Ultra qualified women with deep scientific knowledge who are also massive anime nerds and can't hold a simple conversation represent!"

"idk she's kind of just. The Royal Scientist . built a robot and put a soul in it. tried to bring monsters back to life, this failed miserably. did research on souls and determination. has a kickass lab. also nerdy as hell and can't just. tell the truth to save her life. love her"

"I don't think we have a word for "works with SOULs and DETERMINATION, including fusing ghosts with robot bodies and creating immortal abominations of multiple people stuck together." I guess you could probably just put her down as Robotics. Mechatronics or something. Like sure she melted a bunch of guys, but she takes responsibility! Feeds em dog food! That takes responsibility. Bisexual"

"She had a friend who was a ghost, and they wanted to be famous! So she used her knowledge of robotics to build them a new body how they wanted! He became famous, as he wished! And Alphys worked on a bigger, better body that fit him well, though it used up a lot of power and needed more upgrades, hence why it wasn’t used often until the final battle with him (Him being Mettaton). But basically, Mettaton got a new body the way he liked it, changed his name, and started going by different pronouns (Mettaton is only ever referred to by they/them when people reference the ghost). Alphys allowed him to feel much happier as himself, and they’re great friends! Though, she did pretend that she created Mettaton and his SOUL herself, no ghostliness involved. But Mettaton did agree to that.

Because of her perceived achievement, (though her actual achievement was also pretty cool) Alphys was hired as the Royal Scientist for the Underground, and got to work with Asgore, the king of all monsters! She continued working with Mettaton, and Asgore asked her to try and find a way to break the barrier that was trapping them Underground without killing humans. Alphys found an interesting thing called Determination, or DT within humans using the SOULs of humans Asgore had killed and allowed her access to.

She tested it on some flowers in his garden to see what would happen, and nothing did. That she realized at the time, anyway. She had actually injected DT into a flower sprinkled with the remains of Asriel, the king’s dead son, and brought him back to life as a flower. Problem was, Asriel, or Flowey as he eventually called himself, didn’t have a SOUL anymore, since he was a flower. Thinking that nothing had happened, Alphys decided to try and see if it could really bring back monsters that had fallen down/were on the verge of death. She asked people for their family members that had fallen down. The monsters that had fallen down were basically dead, but the last of their magic hadn’t quite run out yet. However, their magic was being spent keeping their bodies from turning to dust, and they were unable to move, pretty much in a coma. So really, if it didn’t work, no harm done! Either it works and they live, it kills them, or it doesn’t do anything and they still die!

Alphys conducted her tests, and at first, it worked! All of the monsters were getting up and moving around! She contacted the families to send them back, but when she was about to, she discovered they had all started melting and had stuck together and merged into one being. She chickened out for fear of how the families would react, and proceeded to ignore a bunch of letters for quite a while. Eventually, she did own up to it, though she was immediately fired (by the EX-queen, not Asgore. Was that even legal?). The families were just happy to have their loved ones back, and while they were still somewhat upset, understandably so, they didn’t really blame her all too much.

ALSO!! She got a girlfriend!! She’s canonically expressed interest in Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard and who would eventually be her girlfriend, Asgore, and the unknowable! She has made mistakes. Big ones. But honestly, I don’t blame her for the mistakes. The real problem was that she is incredibly anxious and let that get the better of her, leading to her not telling people important things that they deserved to know. She’s not the best at being honest."

Jade Harley:

"She's soo fun and silly and her symbol is literally an atom. she regularly irradiates steak to feed her weird dog"

"She and her nuclear powered dog creating a new universe. she's cool"

"Built a modded bass guitar that's only playable when she's in her robot form and has extra arms. Became a doggirl. She also plays the flute :)"

"i think you have enough ramblings about her already but i couldnt NOT submit her, she is so dear to me <3"

"bbg has THREE scientific specialties!! she genetically modifies plants and makes them grow beautifully high just because she can and loves science. in her alpha timeline she’s a tech mogul and creates technology that challenges the evil empress that brought earth to ruin. AND she’s a furry"

"Doggy"

"She plays a silly flute refrain. She's a furry. Literally, she's a doggirl. She's also a god and created the universe. JADE BEST GIRLIE!!!!"

#stem sister scuffle #round 2 #alphys #ut alphys #undertale #utdr #jade harley #hs jade #homestuck jade #homestuck

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rinhaler · 3 months

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In The World My Demons Cultivate

“Why do you miss me?” he breathes again, your voice hitches at the thought of explaining yourself so intimately. So desperately. You won’t be able to stop him from judging you or mocking you for being so weak, and still, you do as he asks.

✧˖*°࿐: 18+ only, no minors. ✧. ┊ ghost!toji fushiguro x f!reader

Genre: angst Notes: cried so much writing this oof Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, no smut, dead character (obviously), mental heatlh struggles, suicide ideation, grief/loss, drug abuse, pet names. Words: 3k

Does it ever stop?

“No, not really,” he answers.

You look up, seeing a familiar face, a familiar scar. One that you haven’t seen for a long, long time. It makes you laugh. You’re giggling like a little girl as you look at him. And he’s looking at you, too. A missing memory that you’ve blotted out every single day for as long as you can remember.

How old were you?

How old are you?

It doesn’t matter, you suppose. In the grand scheme of things nothing really matters to you or anyone else. You don’t matter and no one else does, either. You’re just another set of lungs tarring them with filth at the end of the day.

You quit, you did.

You really tried to quit.

But it’s the only thing that makes you stop thinking about your miserable fucking life for a few hours until you pass out and have to live it all over again. Everyday is the same. How do people live like this every single day until they die?

How do people pretend they aren’t suffering when they are?

They are.

You are.

“Can you read my mind, Toji?” you laugh.

He nods. And he notes how your eyes instantly flutter closed when he places a hand on your bare shoulder. It’s been too long since you’ve been touched.

Held.

Loved.

He knows you better than you know yourself. He’s always been like that. You’ve never been able to keep a secret because he’ll get it out of you one way or another. You’ll crack under the pressure of a stare so intense it could turn mere rock to diamonds, the power of glorious green eyes over your fragile mind.

That or you’ll tell him of your own volition.

Does he really possess the power to read your mind? Is that why you love him, so unequivocally? Through all of your faults, he’s here. Through all of his, you love him, still.

You smile.

“I wish I was dead.” you grin, but his face is stoic.

“You said that out loud.” he hisses. You mewl, and it’s gentle, as he runs his fingers through messy, unwashed hair. You’re like a cat, eyes closed and purring for him as you rest your head on his thigh. “Don’t joke about dyin’, sweetheart.”

You didn’t think he’d come, no matter how hard you wished for it. You hadn’t thought he’d show up just for you. And yet, here he is, with his back pressed against your headboard and a deep rumble in his lungs with every heavy intake of exhausted breath.

Like it’s hard.

Hard to breathe or hard to be with you, you don’t know. You don’t want to know, either. He’s here, that’s all that matters now. Things feel good again, normal.

“When did you get here?” you wonder, your voice is barely above a whisper as you speak. Eyes still closed so delicately; he can see the way your eyes are trying to explore your bedroom despite them being shut. He likes that about you, that your mind can never switch off.

But he hates it, too.

He’s not alone in that.

“I’ve been here the whole time, baby.”

Did you forget? Have you misremembered because you’re so fucking stoned? It’s possible, but unlikely. And still, you don’t question it. The warmth of his hand on the crown of your head, the pudgy but sturdy flesh of his thighs beneath your cheek are enough.

You don’t need answers, not now.

The blue light from your laptop flickers and blinds you as the same trailer that Netflix has been repeating for hours now continues to loop and loop. It should be driving you mad, but it isn’t. It’s inaudible to you, especially now.

A heartbeat fills your ears and ricochets between the four walls of your bedroom. The vociferous beating might deafen you if you don’t clear your mind of it, if you don’t speak you might succumb to the burden of it.

“I’ve missed you.” you whimper.

His hand freezes, tongue drying in his mouth before turning into sand he’ll surely choke on. He swallows, and it’s loud. A cartoonish gulp as he hears the sorrow in your words, a meek cry for help that you wouldn’t dare admit to. You couldn’t do that to him, not really, not right now.

“I know.” he sighs.

“I’m so…” you start, your voice fading away as you contemplate keeping your words to yourself. He isn’t the type to care, is he? He hasn’t missed you, anyway. Or at least he didn’t say it, which, to you, surmounts to the same conclusion.

You aren’t missed, not by him.

Neither of you speak, but his fingers resume soothing your scalp. He won’t say he’s missed you. He won’t tell you anything you want to hear; he isn’t like that.

Could it be that he can’t, rather than won’t? It’s trite, burrowing your head between each word and letter he’s spoken and hasn’t spoken. Searching for some double meaning in the words he chooses instead of just some meaning.

Any meaning.

What does it mean to find purpose or reason at a time like this?

It won’t help and it won’t change things. You’ve long accepted that things don’t change for the better. They change, things certainly change. But not for the better. Or maybe they do, for other people.

Not you.

Never you.

“You’re so loud.” he mutters, prompting you to roll over to face him. He looks down at you, it isn’t patronising. It’s generic, which might be worse. There’s no feeling with him, in him, from him. At least if he was patronising you he’d feel something for you.

He’s felt nothing for so long.

You wonder if he ever felt something for you.

“I didn’t say anything.” you tell him.

He does nothing except poke his index finger into your exposed temple, and for some reason, it urges you to smile for him. It’s been so long since you smiled because you wanted to, not because you were forced out of sheer obligation.

That’s why you don’t mind, or rather, prefer being home with nothing but Netflix trailers playing on continuous loop for hours and hours on end while you get so high you scare yourself stupid until you pass out.

It’s a disgusting habit that you can’t rid yourself of.

It’s your only comfort. Your only solace from how downright devastating and pathetic your wretched life truly is.

Nobody expects anything of you when you’re home alone.

“You think too loud,” he starts, the force of his pointed finger becomes deeper but soon leaves completely. Your skin feels colder, right after. Like losing an extra layer of clothing despite being in a warm enough room, you miss the feeling regardless. “You gotta stop.”

You shake your head, closing your eyes again.

“I can’t help it, there’s too much to think about.” you breathe.

The thought of him disappearing into the night never to be seen again, it horrifies you, and it’s at the forefront of your mind. He’s been gone for so long now, you’re sure. He lied, though you aren’t surprised in the least. He’s always been a liar that still possess the ability to have you hanging on his every word.

If you talk, you’re scared he’ll leave. Though he can hear your thoughts, or so he claims.

Again, he’s a liar. If that were true he would have left by now. If he knew how pathetic and desperate your reeling mind sounded he’d have run off and done exactly what you’re worried about him doing.

“You’re so hurt up here, baby,” he tells you, words hushed and secretive as he strokes his thumb across your forehead like you’re precious. Like you’re brittle enough to turn to dust if he applies too much strain. “Aren’t you?”

A sob leaves your throat, and you want the world to swallow you up right then. Tears begin to pour from watery eyes and soak into the material of his trousers before you even think about answering. You do, though. Because you want to, not because he’s making you. You nod, an uncomfortable beat of sniffling silence goes by before you utter a word.

“I wasn’t j-joking.” you start, “I don’t want to be here.” your voice cracks as you speak, the notion of your words and the burden on them weigh down on you enough to make you dizzy and sickly.

He shushes you, not because he wants you to stop talking, but he wants you to stop working yourself up into a nauseated stupor.

“Why?”

“Because I miss you, Toji.” you sit upright, your temperature feels like it drops below freezing when you part from him fully. He pulls you backwards, into his arms before you’re both lying side by side. His chin rests atop your head while you play with your hair, too choked up to say another word.

He doesn’t say it back, again.

But maybe him holding you like this is his way of saying it.

“I don’t know what you mean.” he tells you. His voice is quiet as he speaks into your hair, but you hear him clear enough. You want to argue, but you can’t. The room spins and it feels like you’re floating. Everything mirrors over what feels like hours. Furniture isn’t where you remember it being and you don’t feel like you’re in the right body anymore.

Is he here with you?

You feel a squeeze.

You don’t know what’s happening, anymore.

Those hours that passed were barely a minute. His face is nuzzled into the juncture between your neck and shoulder, and his breath is mystifying against your skin. Every huff is like ice and you feel the way your skin clusters and rises in uneven bumps as it tries to preserve any remaining warmth lingering through your body.

“You can tell me, without telling me.” he explains, though you don’t really follow. His arms tighten around you again before releasing you slightly, slowly, enough for you to wriggle around in his hold if you choose to. You don’t. You’re completely still, digesting his words. “I’ll hear you, no matter what.”

“I don’t know what to say, Toji… I, I really don’t.”

Not because he told you to, no. You’d do it anyway. You do it every single day when given the opportunity to dwell. All he can do is hold you as buckle under the lofty ideals and pressurizing weight of your spoiled existence.

I miss how I felt with you. I miss how life felt worth living each day because there was so much to do with you. Nothing felt impossible, everything is impossible, now. Even small things that are simple for others, aren’t for me. Things felt new and exciting, I’m too tired of everything now. Food seemed more appetizing with you, everything tastes worse now.

Things are meant to get better, easier. People say that but I feel the same as I always have. It fluctuates, there are ebbs and flows but ultimately I’m always going to be sad. My skin feels worse and my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. I don’t want to be in it, I don’t want to be attached to the skin and bones that are meant to be mine. They aren’t. They were never meant to be mine. I’m wasting the oxygen in my lungs, I’m rotting.

Everyday is the same.

I only rot and wither.

I’m lonely and unsatisfied. Nothing makes me happy because I don’t have you. No lover will compare. No meal will stave away the starving pangs I feel in my stomach. No drink will be cold enough to quench my thirst in the beastly summers and none will be hot enough to warm my bones in the bitter winter.

I’m wholly unsatisfied.

People do great things. Not me. I don’t doubt people would miss me if I died, but I don’t really care. It’s selfish, but I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I miss you, I miss you more than I’d ever be missed. I mourn your life, a life that isn’t mine, more than I will ever mourn my own. Every breath I take feels like a theft. I’m stealing the air and lung capacity of someone greater than myself, someone worthy.

I’m worthless.

I speak sentences no one cares about, not like you do. No one will ever care about me like you do, and you don’t even miss me. I wouldn’t, either, I suppose. Any words I say, poetry I write, canvas I paint, is worthless. I am a burden in people’s eyes, my creations aren’t worth viewing, my point of view isn’t worth seeing, I’m worthless.

I am worthless, Toji.

Do you think I am? Maybe if things were different, maybe if I didn’t miss you so much, I wouldn’t feel like this. I wouldn’t feel burdened by a life lost and squandered that I will never be able to know the way I so desperately crave. It’s my fault, I know. I love you and I want you back but I’ve lost you forever.

What I have now, my miserable little life, is what I will have forever. A true burden, a hinderance, a stain. I can’t do it anymore, I can’t. How am I expected to live a life I’m so depressed by for the sake of others. So I don’t make my family or friends sad. It’s selfish, I’m selfish, I’m finding it hard to care as each day passes.

I’d rather be with you, now.

Things don’t get better, I won’t get better.

I know my thoughts are loud, my thoughts are exhausting and it’s hard to hear or think clearly like this. But if I’m with you, it’ll stop.

I don’t want to miss you anymore.

I don’t want to be lonely anymore.

No one loves me the way I need to be loved; but I don’t know how to ask for it.

You sit bolt upright, breathless before running to the bathroom. You’re panting and your mouth feels warm and icky from the taste of swallowed tears. Though your face still shines under the bathroom light from them. You don’t have a glass, you bend over and drink water directly from the tap as you try and regain your composure.

He’s staring at you from his spot on the bed as you gasp and devour each droplet you can. It coats your tongue and bulges through your throat as you take heartier gulps than you had any business taking.

But soon enough, you’re back in his arms as you try and calm yourself down. You’re always tired, but now, after that, you’re exhausted. You wonder if he really did hear you or if he lied to you. It doesn’t matter you suppose. There’s nothing you can do to make him miss you too. There’s nothing you can do to force him back to you.

He’s gone.

For good.

“Why are you still here?” he asks you. Your eyes open, only a little, wondering if you heard him right. “If you were serious, if you weren’t joking, why?”

“… I’m scared,” you admit. “I wasn’t joking… but I am scared. And I know… I know people love me, I know people care about me. It doesn’t feel like enough, it never has and I don’t think it ever will. But… it’s something.”

“Why are you scared?” he continues.

“I— I don’t think things will get better.” you confess. “But what if… they do?”

You don’t see the way he smiles when he hears you speak. When he hears that resilience in your words. You’re hurting, you’re struggling. And still you’re here. You’re trying, your fighting. You’re hoping.

Things might not get better. But what if they do?

One day you might remember why your favourite foods are your favourite foods again. The TV shows and films you love might feel warm and familiar again. There could be someone, anyone, waiting to find you so you can share these things with them, too.

Things could change.

People might listen to your thoughts and care about them. The words you write might matter to someone. The paintings you create might be worlds people fantasize living in as they hang on their walls.

Someone might love you the way you need to be loved, without you knowing how to ask for that brand of love.

Toji misses you, he mourns you, too. But you understand, now. He doesn’t want to hold you back anymore. He doesn’t want you to keep suffering because of him. Because you miss him.

So, you’ll always miss him, there won’t be a day you won’t think about him.

But if there’s a chance, however small, that things might change, he wants you to take it.

“Goodnight, baby.” he hums. “… Princess? I’m proud. I'm proud of you.”

It warms your body to hear him say it. It’s a little embarrassing, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s words, maybe it’s lip service, but you made someone proud. And you sleep peacefully with that knowledge.

Daybreaks through the window, bright and invasive enough to break you from your sleep. You fell asleep above the covers, you aren’t being held anymore. There’s no noise in your apartment, there’s no signs of life besides your own beating heart.

Maybe it was like that the whole time.

#toji x reader #toji x you #jjk x you #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x fem!reader #female reader #dead character #tw mental illness #tw suicide ideation #tw grief #tw loss #tw death #tw drug use

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sunflowergraves · 1 year

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Unpacking Will Solace’s Character

I’ve seen a lot of Will Solace hate since TSATS and it’s really starting to bother me. As a person that relates heavily to Will’s character, it’s upsetting to see him get bashed across the internet, especially considering we’ve never actually gotten to know his character. Personally, I feel like a lot of people are basing his character around headcanons and fanfiction (which I am guilty of) and were disappointed when he wasn’t who we saw him as.

It doesn’t help that the only time we got to see Will’s POV it was short and through the eyes of others. He’s also not this big hero like all the characters in the PJO universe. His powers aren’t that strong, he’s not a prophecy child, and his talents are mediocre. Will is the most human demigod we’ve ever been introduced to. I can understand why his character doesn’t feel multi-dimensional compared to everyone else, but in my opinion, he was fleshed out very well.

Yes, there are a few things I was disappointed by. I wish they talked about Will’s past more and his grief over his dead siblings. I wanted him to have his own weapon, even if it was an old bow he never used or a lyre like Apollo used in TOA. But I will always love that they changed him from the calm, collected counselor healer to an anxious, depressed, self-doubting person because it fits him so well. How could he not feel these things after losing friends and family? After being abandoned by everyone around him? Or being forced to take on the caretaker role of the entire camp because he was the only one left?

I’m going to continue this down below, so if you don’t want major spoilers for TSATS, don’t continue reading. Also this is long as hell in case you just want to skim.

Every time Will was mentioned in the books, it was from someone else’s POV and it was a few lines at best.

Will has always been described as the cool, relaxed, go-with-the-flow type of guy. He was the person with a level head and knew exactly what to do. But guess what? Underneath that cool exterior was an anxiety riddled people pleaser who threw himself at every problem because that’s what he was told to do. The Apollo cabin was always the head medic team. After Lee and Michael died, Will was basically thrust into that position of power. He was trusted to take care of his younger siblings, trusted to take care of the entire camp. If he let them down, it was going to cost lives. Of course he’s going to be scared and nervous, but he can’t show that. Would you want a doctor with shaky hands and sweat running down their neck? Would you want to be taken care of by a person who doubted and second guessed themselves out in the open?

As someone who was given a lot of responsibly and forced to grow up at a young age, I completely understand this. You want to try to make everything better for others around you, you get scared when you fuck up, and you HATE when people can’t rely on you. That’s why you will never show how scared you are to fuck up. You will never let people get inside your head because if they can’t rely on you, what good are you? Breaking out of the role that everyone else gave you because they trusted you is scary and hard.

Nico is probably the only person who knows what Will really thinks. Will trusts Nico with his anxiety and overthinking because he’s comfortable enough around him to show that side. He knows he doesn’t have to Mr. Hero in front of Nico and that’s such a precious and important bond to make with someone.

Will was valid for being whiny and irritated for most of the book.

First, Will has ANXIETY. If you don’t know what it’s like to live with anxiety, count yourself lucky. It feels like your thoughts are attacking you constantly. It’s like an uphill battle between rational thought and absolute chaos. I can’t get in my car without thinking of all the ways I could die before I buckle my seatbelt. Imagine going to SuperHell for the first time in your life! Not only that, but people told Will constantly that as a child of Apollo he was basically fucked. The three strongest demigods that made it back almost went insane! Of course Will is going to be upset, irrational, irritated, and uncomfortable.

In TOA, he voiced several times how he thought it was a bad idea and that he really didn’t like it. This is not a new thing for Will’s character at all. For him to be willing to cross a line he had made concrete shows that he loves and cares for Nico. But that shouldn’t mean he isn’t allowed to be uncomfortable.

Second, for anyone saying he could have stayed at camp instead of going has never sacrificed their comfort for someone else. There are so many instances in my life where I went way out of my comfort zone because I knew my friends/family wanted me there. Did I complain? Hell yes. Did I still do it? Hell yes! If Will had said, “Nico, I can’t do this and I refuse to at least try,” I would have lost so much respect for his character. Instead he sucked it up, even when he was already practically dying before they got there.

Three, Will was worried about Nico. He’s never experienced Tartarus, he’s never been to the Underworld. While Will has definitely faced his share of demons, he’s never stood in Nico’s shoes. So when his boyfriend is having vivid nightmares and hearing voices, he’s going to try and rationalize it for Nico because that’s what he has done his entire life. Will is the “healer.” He is supposed to fix things, not let them traipse off to hell like it’s a vacation spot.

Four, this is a 15 year old. Fuck, even now at the ripe ole age of 20, I’d still be shaking in my boots terrified at the thought of going somewhere that is practically a jailhouse for the worst creatures in creation. Will has little to no experience on the field (He ran from six guards without even trying to pull out a weapon. The worst thing he’s ever said to his enemies was “anemic loser” and didn’t even want to kill Octavian. Every battle before that he had an older sibling to look up to and care for him). So yeah, I’d just be a tad bit nervous and annoying.

Will asking Persephone how to love someone from the Underworld was honest and raw.

This scene broke me in ways I can’t even describe because of how real it felt. If you’ve ever been in a deep and caring relationship (friendship counts) you should understand. Like Persephone said, love is something you choose and it’s complicated and messy even for people who were practically made for each other. For Will to ask how to love someone from the Underworld shows that he is actively choosing to understand and love Nico.

I get that most people interpret Will’s lines as “How do you love someone so filled with death?” but really he’s asking how do you love someone who acts like he doesn’t want to be loved? How do you love someone that pulls away from your light no matter how desperately you try to give it them? How do you love someone who hides parts of themselves from you?

Will is a healer, he fixes things. It’s not until this scene that Will realizes the only thing Will needs to fix is his perspective on Nico. That darkness and hurt and trauma is okay. It’s also a scene where Will realizes he doesn’t have to force down his own trauma anymore.

Will loves Nico and it’s so obvious he scared to lose him. He thinks he’s weak and broken and incapable of helping Nico escape his trauma. His insecurities shadow him and he’s confused about how to navigate this relationship because he thinks he needs to be the leader. How can he lead if Nico won’t let him? How can he help when he doesn’t know how? Persephone’s scene was Will’s chance of finding guidance from someone who could understand exactly what he’s thinking

People in their late 40′s still can’t get relationships down. Why are we pushing unrealistic relationship ideations on a 15 year old who doesn’t even know who he is yet?

Will was not useless.

Sorry that the relationship duo isn’t Mr. Badass and Mr. Badass 2.0. Will not being a fighter is refreshing to see because honestly I’m quite tired of seeing badass couples in every book/movie. Not everyone is strong and powerful and super awesome. Will is a nerd that likes healing people. Why isn’t that enough?

“He’s described as having muscles,” “He’s a field/combat medic,” “He fought in the wars,” “He carries people all the time,” “He trains with the Apollo cabin.” Okay and? I was raised to work hard and protect myself. I work out and I know how to use a bow and knife. Does that mean I want to? No.

I’d also like to point out that almost everyone in camp is described as having muscles. You kind of have to when your life motto is Try not to die or get eaten. Also they train on lava walls, jump eight foot pits, and weapons. I get a little bit of muscle going on my silly little walks, I’d be fucking jacked if I was actively training.

Second, Will has never once been described fighting monsters/demigods. I don’t doubt that he’s had a few encounters, but the boy practically specializes in RUNNING AWAY. He’s a feral little animal that finds injured demigods and sprints them away to the medic center while occasionally bashing monster heads in. He’s strong because he needs to be, not because he wants to be. Strength also doesn’t equal battle prowess.

Not to mention, he hates killing! He didn’t want to kill Octavian despite Octavian being the actual worst. He runs away as a distraction even though he had weapons on him. He got upset when Nico threw Sherman Yang out of the chariot in TOA. Monsters are different, but monsters are also scary. Will is terrified of demon pigeons, you really think he’s willingly gonna go one-on-one with anything bigger than his pinky?

I’ll admit, I hated that he didn’t have a weapon in Tartarus. I thought it was really stupid and out-of-character because my anxious ass would have loaded up. Still, it was kind of funny when they described Will bashing rocks over monster’s heads during their fight with Nyx.

My final point for this: Will was Nico’s support system and that was the point. Will knew he wasn’t going to throw hands with anyone. He went because he knew Nico needed him even when Nico told him to stay. Will was going to trek through SuperHell with the love of his life and hold his hand to remind him that he was loved. Will wanted Nico to know that he’d literally go to Hell and back for him and that’s what mattered.

Nico didn’t ask Will to be the Hero. Nico states several times that the reason he loves Will is because he wants to heal and he’s so stubborn to find the good in everything. And that’s exactly what Will did. He offered support, care, and reminders. He was going to understand and love Nico, even through the darkest parts of his life.

Will is one of the best support systems in a PJO couple duo.

It makes me incredibly sad to see people call Will toxic when he gave his entire life to support Nico. I won’t deny that he complained a lot and said hurtful things and that he occasionally belittles Nico’s feelings. But Will didn’t know he was doing those things. He thought he was helping Nico navigate his PTSD. How is someone who is still emotionally developing his own character supposed to know how to take care of someone else’s?

Will also clearly showed love and affection towards Nico. He met all his friends and was polite to them even when they looked scary. Will risked his life several times before they got to Tartarus and still insisted on continuing. Built a Minecraft house for his boyfriend and left him a KitKat bar because he knew he would feel fatigued (also Will brought KitKat bars, meaning he was already thinking of Nico’s health beforehand). He tried to be useful by scouting ahead because he felt like he was being a burden on Nico. He kissed him, called him silly nicknames, hugged him, respected his boundaries (asking to hold him instead of trying to comfort him immediately), and oh yeah, went to Tartarus when he was obviously quaking in his flipflops.

He also helped Bob when he had no idea who/what he was, comforted Nico when he was beginning to lose hope, acknowledged his mistakes and admitted he needed to try harder, realized he didn’t need to fix Nico and that his boyfriend was perfect the way he was, and learned that Nico wasn’t going to leave him.

Love is complicated. Love is something you choose. And Will chooses to love Nico. Also for everyone saying a year is long enough to learn/realize these problems already and have them solved, you need to take the rose tinted glasses off. I’ve been with my partner for almost four years, and I’m still learning things about our relationship. We argue, we don’t always meet eye-to-eye. Our own trauma and experiences surface and it gets difficult. But do we just call it quits and throw everything into the trash? No. We talk, we problem-solve, we come back and try to understand each other even if we don’t know how to do that. A year is nothing. A year is puppy love and excitement. It’s like your favorite movie on repeat. All the problems are ignored because you don’t want to see them yet.

So for a pair of 15 year old's who just came to terms with their sexuality, I think that they are doing pretty damn good at this love thing.

Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. Even though we’ve had Will for years, we’ve never gotten to know his true character until now. It’s raw and weird and doesn’t fit the mold of Will Solace, son of Apollo we all created him to be. You can still hate his character or whatever, I’m not going to try to change your mind. But don’t hate on everyone else who loves him and loves this book.

#solangelo #will solace #tsat #tsats #tsats spoilers #will literally deserves so much love #he's an anxious nerd who wants to watch star wars and kiss his boyfriend

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bones4thecats · 5 months

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Hey! I love your writing and have been wondering what the ror characters (Poseidon, Thor, Adam, Hades, etc really your choice) would react to a blue diamond s/o from Steven Universe. As when they cry everyone else surrounding them cries. And their giant size. Sorry if this isn't the right place to request!

A/N: Hello there, thank you for the compliment. I’ve tried my best in keeping my writing skills the same, yet updated based on the scenario. But, I do hope you like how this turned out! I’ll be using the three Gods you had mentioned, and I’ll be leaving Adam out, but if you want another part written with Humans, just send it in! Now, enjoy~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🔱 You were part of the new Pantheon that had made their way into Valhalla, representing different gems that were found throughout the world by your ancient people

🔱 When he first met you, many said you would get along, especially Zeus and Hades

🔱 You sat by the edge of the sea, your towering form scaring away any Gods from speaking to you

🔱 He could feel the sadness radiating off you, and when he felt his vision blur, he reached his hand up and noticed he was crying out of free will

🔱 When you noticed him crying behind you, you gasped and apologized, saying it happened whenever someone was around, and even if they were happy, they’d cry

🔱 It took a while, but after you guys got together and married, it was normal to see your husband and you sitting side-by-side

🔱 To have this make a bit more sense, let’s say you can shrink down to his size

🔱 When you do that to rest, he likes to lay his head on your chest where you blue diamond laid, for some reason it calmed him down

🔱 Poseidon and you both were prominent figures in your pantheons, so being apart constantly was normal, but that didn’t stop you from accidentally making him cry

🔱 The way your merciful nature did come at a halt with how humans had started to get themselves tossed into hell made him fall for you more

“ Yes, look down on them, my teardrop. They are nothing. “

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🌩️ Thor fell for you because of how gentle and caring you could be

🌩️ It was something that he lacked to show, but you seemed to thrive showing

🌩️ You were known for your amazing diplomatic skills used through Gods’ Council meetings, and it could make anyone side with you

🌩️ The power you held made him happily look at you behind a dead-looking facade

🌩 Now, with the size difference, he doesn’t really mind it

🌩️ Normally, he’s the larger one, like this guy’s 7’4, he’s pretty much always taller than someone

🌩️ Thor would look up at you and smile lightly, giving you a kiss on your hand as you squatted down to reach his gaze, since you’d be like 25-100ft

🌩️ But, since you do enjoy shrinking down to do things with your husband, you normally go to around 6’5-7’0 most of the time whenever you’re not working with your sisters

🌩️ He noticed how much you seemed to care about this young male on Earth whom you called ‘Pink Diamond’ and he just smiled to himself as you laid down on his chest, telling stories of him and your sisters

🌩️ His favorite part of being married to you is how much you seemed to care about certain humans, as they were innocent and did no wrong, while you despised others and wished for them to die

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💀 Oh yeah, you and him bonded ever since birth

💀 You guys had been together for centuries, and he knew your sisters very well, they even enjoyed having him around

💀 He witness everything happen year-by-year, how much pressure White Diamond had put on you all, Pink Diamond leaving and ‘dying’, Yellow Diamond trying to push the memories of Pink behind her to be perfect, and you going through many essential crises

💀 Hades watched as you went through every single crisis, struggling at times to manage all of the colonies you and your sisters had

💀 So, being the best husband he could, he made sure to have your top superiority manage it while he took you to Helheim to calm you down

💀 When it came to the crying thing, he doesn’t mind it, seeing other Gods try holding themselves back from crying as you sat there doing nothing was quite funny

💀 And your size? Not a problem

💀 Cerberus loves the hell out of you, your big size and his big size (around 15ft) make a fun mix to play

💀 Seeing you shrink down to share a bed was funny at first, and now when he sees your form shrink he smiles gently and hugs you as you sleep

💀 Like Poseidon, he also likes to lay his head on your chest, but instead of laying his head on the gem in your chest, he likes to run his hands on it and mess with your hair that wrapped around your chest

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puppetwoman17 · 8 months

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Okay, so there’s this Billy Batson post-Injustice fic called A Reason to Fight on AO3, and it’s got me wanting more fics like that.

I mean, there’s so many different ways it could go.

One fic could be where he did die, and we can’t bring him back. The JL are brought back together to take on an otherworldly evil(surprise surprise) and they need the help of the gods to do it. With both conventional and unconventional means, they’re able to be granted passage to Olympus for this one catastrophic emergency(begrudgingly, because the gods sorta hate their guts).

Then they see this one glowing building, separated from the rest. It’s got a lightning bolt on it. Sparks flying around it. Gives off a less imposing vibe. There’s suspicions about what it’s for, but no one feels compelled to ask. Until a leaguer(doesn’t have to be specific, maybe Guy Gardener or Flash or whatevs) gains enough courage to ask what that place is.

The god leading them to Zeus stops dead in their tracks. They don’t speak yet. They turn and look at the leaguer who was dumb enough to ask a grieving god a question like that.

And the god replies: “The Hall of Champions is where every champion goes when they die. They are allowed to spend their afterlife in complete relaxation as the fruits of their labor. They meet others like them and forgo the troubles of their mortal lives.”

The god says that last part bitterly.

The JL immediately knows who’s inside. The building just speaks Marvel. That same stupid league member asks if they can go inside. If they can speak to one of them, no one in particular(everyone knows they’re lying, but the guilt is just too much).

The god laughs. Actually just laughs right there, in front of a bunch of mortals and super powered people who dare to think they can come anywhere near the former Champion of Magic.

The god tells them: “We granted him his wish of being part of a team because we thought it would help him through such trying times. We thought he finally had others who would look after him, something we may not always be able to do. We thought he would finally, after all these years, have something akin to family.

“And just like that, those hopes and dreams were taken away, all because our champion finally saw the light again. If you go so much as a foot closer to him, the gods of Olympus will show you the same mercy you showed your so-called teammate.”

Lol, that’s as far as I’ve gotten.

Another fic could be where he actually didn’t die, like in A Reason to Fight. He comes back to life after recharging just like in A Reason to Fight. But this time, there’s a change.

He doesn’t make himself known. He changes his identity and stays under the league radar. He doesn’t transform into Cap, but he secretly helps the people of Fawcett with his powers because BILLY was chosen, not the avatar itself.

Dunno how to go about the next part. That all depends on the plot, what characters are still alive and still dead. The timeline of when exactly he comes back and how long he stays incognito.

But somehow, someway, the League becomes aware that Marvel, that Billy, is alive. They rush to see him after (however) long. They see him alive and well…

And he’s just disgusted. Heartbroken. Scared. Angry. Tells them to f*ck off and find some other kid’s dreams to destroy. Tells them to never contact him unless it’s for business that requires the Champion’s reputation. Because despite everything, he still takes his job as Champion very seriously. Because he thought he could finally trust these adults, and they turned their backs on him.

He especially hates Superman for the looks of guilt he gives him. Just wants to punch him in the face. Same with Diana. Same with Lantern. Same with Flash and Cy. Maybe not Batman, but even association can hurt.

Again, idk where this one might go, or how the plot is or whatever, but I need more post-Injustice fics on Billy Batson damnit!

#billy batson #captain marvel #dc universe #justice league

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azullumi · 1 year

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ayato, diluc, childe + alhaitham — playing horror games ☆彡

summary — you invited him to play a horror game with you to which he accepted. now, what will your experience with him will be?

characters — ayato, diluc, childe + alhaitham (w/ gender neutral reader)

tags — fluff, modern, multiple mentions of the word "game"; headcanons

word count — 1225

a/n — i hate the amount of times i used the word game because i couldn't find another word for it. nevertheless, enjoy!

KAMISATO AYATO

Apparently, there was a new game released and it captured the hearts of horror-games enthusiasts and you wanted to try it out, however, the game is hard to clear on your own so you had invited Ayato.

A horror game? Sure, he doesn't mind. He has played a few ones with his sister and Thoma before and it's been a long time since the last time he went through one.

At first, he's interested and curious but then when he starts playing, there's just confusion. He's just confused, not in a confused type wherein he doesn’t know what to do throughout the game but the type wherein he doesn’t know what is happening and is unaware of the events of the game. Are horror games really like this? As far as he can remember, these are supposed to be much scarier and frightening.

“Oh… Was that a jumpscare?”

He’s bored not until he witnessed your reactions so instead of focusing more on the game, his attention and eyes are all on you. He wants to see more of it so he purposely fails some parts of the game so you two could restart and have to go through it all again. Witnessing the change in your expressions and seeing the way you react is honestly so entertaining for him. Mans out here living the best life while you’re suffering.

Eventually, you’ll notice it. How he intentionally fails and suddenly becomes a bad player once you two get through the extreme parts. It took you quite some time to see through his tricks as you weren’t thinking much about it, however, he doesn’t admit it easily and will probably never do so.

“Are you trying to lose on purpose?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou— Ah, I died again. Looks like we’ll have to restart.”

DILUC RAGNVINDR

It doesn't take much persuading just to get him to play a game— a horror one to be exact— with you. He doesn’t mind it anyways and it’s not like he’s the type to get scared easily. It’s just some simple game with some scary components embedded in it.

At first, it was dead silence. You don’t know if he’s scared or just focused on clearing the game. However, the answer was the latter as he is unfazed by the jumpscares of the game and was more focused on the objectives. While you’re out there getting startled at every noise, whether loud or not, he’s focused on solving the puzzles and determining how to attain victory.

He guides you on what to do and even encourages you so that you won’t be scared. He doesn’t leave you behind and if ever you die at some part and you two have to restart, he’ll just say it’s okay and you two won’t have a hard time playing through it as you already know what you’re supposed to do. He’s honestly so sweet and gentle while playing and it just eases your mind knowing that you can rely on him.

“Are you scared? Come closer.”

“It’s okay, you can do this.”

He’ll let you lean on him though or hide yourself behind him. You’ll often block your point of view by using his arms as a cover whenever you feel like something scary will pop up on your screen and he will just let you be, looking at you with a soft smile on his face. He knows this isn’t the time for that but he just can’t help but think how adorable you are when you’re scared.

“You can open your eyes now, there’s no more jumpscare.”

Truly a reliable teammate.

CHILDE

He's the chatty type of person while playing, would often say remarks filled with confidence and would reassure you that you just have to follow him from behind and he can finish the game in no time. He's so confident and sure of himself that when you two started playing, you were relaxed because of the things he had said. God, you wish you didn't believe him.

He's the type to treat the game like it's some sort of comedy show and would laugh at certain elements of the game that are supposed to be scary. He makes fun of the “ghosts” and would challenge them to scare him. However, once he really gets to the jumpscare and intense parts, he becomes silent.

Then he goes back to being the normal chatty person that he is. He doesn't want to admit the fact that he is scared, especially after all that talk he did. He’ll convince you that he isn’t frightened at all and would attempt to regain his composure. It’s honestly cute how he tries his best to look strong and reliable.

You can’t help but tease him while playing, saying things that will scare him. Poke him for a bit and he suddenly jumps startled which also scares you.

"Archons above, (Name)! You just can't do that!"

"I just poked you."

After finishing the game, he'll just laugh and say, "that's all?" before asking you to watch a movie with him next. However, you shook your head and showed him the next game that you two are going to play and unfortunately for him, it’s a horror one again and it was a continuation of the previous one. He doesn’t have any choice but to play it with you.

“Don’t worry, if you’re too scared, you can cling to me.”

“Shut up.”

ALHAITHAM

He doesn't see the sense of even willingly playing horror games despite the fact that you'll just get scared, nevertheless, he still plays with you because why not. It’s not like he’ll die if he did. Maybe he'll end up seeing something interesting or maybe he just wants to see how you’ll react.

He’s the type to tease you by suddenly scaring you in tense and terrifying parts of the game then pretends that he didn’t do anything. At these times, the thought of how Alhaitham can be a little shit goes through your head and if you weren’t that scared right now and not leaning on him and using him as some sort of cover, you would have smacked him right on the head.

He’s expressionless, he’s unaffected by the horror factors of the game and would just continue on like nothing happened.

“It’s not that scary, (Name). It’s just a mannequin.”

“Look, there’s nothing terrifying here. It’s just the wind.”

You don’t know if you should be thankful for his comments because it was helping you to replace your fear with irritation. However, you can’t get mad at him because Alhaitham… Alhaitham was extremely helpful in clearing the game especially on the hardest parts and would tell you what you should do to avoid having to restart. Sometimes, he’ll throw in some words of encouragement here and there to further encourage you.

Despite the small yet constant bickerings and teasings, it didn’t take you long to finish the game. He thinks it was boring but if you were going to invite him to another one, he won't complain nor even hesitate in joining you.

“Let’s play another one.”

“Aren’t you scared already from the one we just played?”

He still doesn’t understand how you still want to play these games knowing the fact that you’ll just be frightened the whole time you’re playing though.

— navigation | masterlist

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snailsgoingdowntown · 8 months

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Red Stained Relationship

Prologue i

Slight yandere! Blade x fem! Reader

Warnings: Implied past child and domestic abuse, twisted sense of ‘love,’ toxic relationship(s), blood, character death.

Blade didn’t abuse the reader btw. He just sucks at anything that is healthy.

Blog contains dark content/dead dove don’t eat.

You'll see why I added "slight yandere' as the series goes on.

Minors/blank blogs dni.

Word count: 684

===

“To kill something is to love it, and to love something is to kill it.”

It was your parents’ favorite saying; behind the jaded eyes and sloppy love they would give. And, of course, you never understood it. Never wanted to, even as a young child, simply nodding your head away whenever they would tuck you into bed at night, kissing your forehead before repeating these words to each other the moment they closed your door.

While you were curious, you never bothered to understand them. They felt alien. You felt alien, an outsider looking in. You couldn’t return your parents’ love as is – your love language was different. Less violent. Less confusing. And more gentle, as gentle as a child could get.

The foundation of your very family was unsteady at best and broken at worse. Even your brother would agree, comforting you on nights that were just a little too noisy. And you would return the favor, perhaps in a less effective way, but all the same. And the cycle would repeat, some days noisier than the others, a mess to be cleaned up. And on others, it almost felt normal.

Almost.

But now, as the dying man rests his head on your lap, you think you get the gest of their oh so favorite saying.

Even so, you still don’t want to hurt him. His blood was staining your dress, and you feel the warmness of it. His breaths were labored, chest slowly moving up and down. There’s blood running down his face, with stab wounds decorating his entire body. But he doesn’t let out any painful whines, barely lets out a grunt.

His wounds weren’t healing. As gruesome as they could be, the wounds stay open. You could attempt to put pressure on them. Especially the gaping one on his chest. You rake your fingers through his hair instead. A small comfort, and maybe even a small celebration. He was the only one happy about it, though.

“You should rest. Close your eyes and everything will be over.” You’re surprised at how steady your voice is. Like you weren’t breaking apart from the inside, cracking like glass. You feel like crying, but nothing comes out. Not even a sob.

“I… I’ve been waiting for this day,” Blade coughs out, wheezing after it. Shakily, one of his arms raises, knuckles grazing your cheek. His vision must be hazy, for when you move his hair out of his face, his eyes are dazed. Unfocused.

“It must be a good day for you then.”

“It… it is. But – fuck – a horrible one for you.” Another coughing fit, but he doesn’t retreat his hand.

“You shouldn’t talk too much. I know it hurts. So, rest.” Blade doesn’t say anything but struggles to keep his hand in the air. His glove prevents him from feeling your skin. And in his mind, it’s probably better this way. Otherwise, he might have second thoughts.

And it’s too late for that.

“… I know that I shouldn’t love you, and that you were a horrible person. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you, actually. But even so…,” your eyes start to water the more you take everything in. He’s really going to die.

“Yeah… I was… horrible to you. I… I wanted to treat you… nicely. Gently. But I’m no longer… capable of that.” He wheezes out, taking gulps of air. “I’m surprised you stayed…,” he trails off, death knocking at the door louder than before.

He wishes he treated you better. That the bloodlust he had towards you didn’t exist. Maybe then, you could have been happier. No. he should have left the moment he felt something deeper, addicting developed for you.

You close your eyes before covering his own with your hand. Any more of this and you really might cry. Or call for help, something he wouldn’t want. Should you kill him, or let him die on his own?

Even as horrible as he is, you still loved him. Common sense had long gone away the moment you accepted him as is.

“Goodnight, Yingxing.”

#yandere #yandere x reader #blade x reader #Yandere blade #yandere blade x reader #honkai star rail #Honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader

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ghostradiodylan · 1 month

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Can we just talk about Kaitlyn’s response to kissing Ryan for one second? (You know, not that we do that perverted het shit in this house /j)

Now if you’ve only ever made the correct choice kissed Dylan, you could be forgiven for thinking Kaitlyn is pretty into Ryan. She looks a little pouty about not being chosen here.

[Also oh my god she’s so tiny the beer bottle is huge in her little Barbie hand I want to squish her 😍]

This is right after the “shall we?” She doesn’t look unhappy… but she looks a little trepidatious. She does not look like she’s won the kissing Ryan Erzahler lottery.

Is it because Dylan’s giving her a real cunty side-eye? Hard to say.

[Look, they're besties and he'd literally die for her, but he's thinking about cutting a bitch right now.]

Pre-kiss. Does she look excited about this? She kinda looks dead inside to me.

[Why does she look like she’s thinking, did I leave the oven on?]

Immediately after…

Does… does she look pleased to you, my guy? She kinda looks like she just realized she doesn’t actually like men disappointed to me.

She kind of cringe smiles at this line. You would, right?

I just really want to know what kind of direction they gave Brenda here because my girl is NOT happy. There’s, like, a silent ‘ugh’ in this face! And we don’t know why! Is it because she’s worried about Dylan’s feelings? She didn’t seem that worried about him before the actual kiss. Is it because of the awkward silence that accompanied it? It’s not like she knows everyone would have cheered if he picked Dylan, only we know that.

Then she sits down and…

Well, guess that happened.

She looks significantly happier about Dylan kissing her supposed crush.

She could just be putting on a brave face for her friends, but Dylan can’t even see her yet and she’s already smiling.

And, of course, the game further affirms this because we don’t get the ‘disappointed’ chyron regarding Kaitlyn if Dylan is chosen instead.

So, I totally respect everyone’s right to ship them as a throuple, but when people say SMG should have just made them a canon throuple in the game I have to disagree, unless they were going to fundamentally change the characters and their reactions to each other in order to do it. (Other than Kaitlyn’s reactions here, writer/director Will Byles says Dylan is gay, not bisuxal, and we know he’s canonically pretty jealous.) And that’s not just my compulsory monogamy speaking, I actually think Nick/Abi/Emma would be a perfectly workable throuple and I’m surprised more people don’t write them that way.

But mainly I think Kaitlyn just… really isn’t that into Ryan. And I do wish we got more insight into her character on this topic and just in general. Is it because she knows Dylan likes him more than she does? Is it because she’s actually a lesbian suffering under comphet (or completely aro/ace and just not accepting it) and she had to tell Jacob something when he asked who she thought the hottest person at camp was, so she picked the brooding loner who never talks to anyone because that seemed safe? Is she secretly harboring feelings for Jacob and that’s why she’s so hard on her childhood friend about his relationship with Emma?? There’s just no way to know.

#the quarry #I love Kaitlyn very much but she is an enigma #is she a lesbian is she asexual is she in love with her oldest friend I DON’T KNOW #does she only have eyes for her beloved stick?#someone tell me the answers!!!#imagine if Ryan kisses her and she gives him this look and then he tells Laura ‘she has the hots for me’ lmfao #sir. no she does not #more proof Ryan is autistic and can’t interpret facial expressions #kaitlyn ka #ryan erzahler #dylan lenivy #bonfire trio #I love these three the most by a wide margin #bunny blathers #overly in depth analysis

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showtoonzfan · 5 months

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Anyways I want to talk about Nerdy Prudes Must Die real quick, Starkid’s recent Hatchetfeild musical. I love the show, it’s amazing in so many ways, I can’t say much about it that others haven’t already said so I won’t be really vocal about how good it is, at least yet. That’s why I really want to share just a few criticisms or nitpicks I have, cause I don’t see a lot of people talk about that and I’ve personally been itching to get these out lol. Keep in mind I love the musical to death and I just want to see if other fans have the same opinions I do or not, if you disagree that’s fine! Spoilers for the musical!

- My biggest complaint is that I feel like Stephanie doesn’t get enough screen time. Not that she’s not developed or fleshed out, but after rewatching NPMD a million times you’ll know that the two main characters that get the most screen time are Grace and Pete. (Especially Grace cause she steals the show, not in a bad way tho). However, Steph is supposed to be a main character but to me she kinda feels like a side character pushed to the back. I’d say this starts when the kids plan to prank Max, and moving forward she eventually goes from someone being at the front to a follower until the near end where they have to summon the lords in black. I will say of course it does make sense, for a cast like this you have to move main characters to the back to leave room to develop others, that’s fine, but I still can’t help but feel that Steph lacked more.

I think of all characters she should have gotten her own song too, I was disappointed to hear that she actually DID have one and even a reprise until it was cut. Jeff had said it was about her being a popular kid and how she struggles with that, and I think it would have been really interesting to see, it would have added more. Though of course cut songs are cut for a reason, Jeff had said it didn’t fit or add anything but it’s still something I wish we had.

- Some fans have already said this, but it is distracting how glossed over the deaths of the characters are, mainly Ruth and Richie. Max’s death makes sense here, because he was a jerk and the theme of how the town and the kids didn’t care for him when he died and glossed over his death was done on purpose, but for Ruth and Richie…the characters they were actually friends with didn’t seem to care. For starters after Richie dies no one notices he’s gone, and when the gang do find out he dies, nothing really comes of it other than a “wait Richies dead?” Then the characters just move on, Ruth dies and the same thing happens to her, only a “wait she’s dead?” line and that’s it. Pete was the closest to these two and we don’t even get to see him mourn, or a simple line indicating that. I don’t blame the characters themselves but if you asked me if I thought the writing for the musical was just a teensy weensy rushed, I’d say yeah.

- That also leads to my other problem, “If I loved you” feels misplaced. The song itself is good but it takes place legit right after Ruth dies, a character who got an amazing send off. There isn’t time to process it at all because now Pete and Steph are arguing over their relationship, and after that Grace bursts in to kick off them leaving. I feel like “If I loved you” should have been placed before “Just For Once”, that would have been slightly better.

- Okay so this is just a nitpick but I didn’t like “Best of You”. For a horror musical (especially for Hatchetfeild) it feels VERY forced and preppy and it just threw me off I’m so sorry. That’s why I was thankful “Dirty Dudes Must Die” was the true ending because that fits more with the universe and the tone of the show. I guess it makes sense though because Jeff had revealed “Best of You” was an in universe pop song that the students were just singing, so after I heard that it made perfect sense on why I thought it was so cheesy lol because it wasn’t supposed to be a song for the show itself.

Still like some others have said, the way everyone is so happy in the ending throws me off. I get that they establish a few weeks had passed but after ALL of the hell the characters went through only to cut to them carefree at prom it’s….off putting. Like Steph is literally an orphan now and Pete’s friends are dead. And it doesn’t get addressed or acknowledged AKSKKSSM 😭

And that’s pretty much it regarding issues I had with the musical. It’s damn near perfect, I just think the script is a little rushed and the pacing is kinda all over the place. Other than that? It’s amazing and I’ll definitely talk about it more soon. Feel free to disagree with me!

#npmd spoilers #Starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes must die musical #npmd #unrelated #criticism #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #nerdy prudes spoilers

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awakenedsalamander · 4 months

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i simply must get ur throughts on wraith please. please.

Wraith? Sure!

Wraith: The Oblivion is the kind of game that, quite appropriately, haunts me.

See, much like Vampire: The Masquerade, Wraith puts you in the position of a monster reliant upon a world that exploits and ruins other people, and then doesn’t ask you to change it, but to just find a way to live with that. Something I think is already very compelling and uncomfortably real when Masquerade does it. But Oblivion goes a step further, because it’s about something that we’re all going to have in common, soon enough: Death.

With Vampire, you get to answer questions like: “Who’s your sire? What’s your clan? Generation? Your sect? What are your Disciplines? How do you feed?” so on and so forth. Sure, you’ll also have questions about the loved ones you left, the way you were Embraced, but mostly the game is loaded with creative, fun questions that get you into the vampire fantasy. And Wraith has these too. Guild, Arcanoi, that kind of thing. You get to really dive into the ghostly horror of it all.

Wraith has other questions, too.

How did you die?

Who did you leave behind?

What did you leave unfinished?

And by the by, what’s the worst part of yourself, the Shadow that wishes you corrupted and broken, like?

These are interesting questions, but they’re not really fun, exactly. And I love them. They remind you that you’re not living a power fantasy, not really. Your character is dead, and that is never changing. And unlike with Masquerade, there isn’t this sense of dark fantasy. Not to me. It’s just kind of sad.

And then you’re thrown into the Deathlands. Ruled by a Hierarchy vaster than your mortal life ever was, and more terrible than your afterlife ever could be. Forced to exist within a system that uses the forged souls of others like you just to get by. Just outside, annihilation itself lingers. All the while, your wickedest impulses whisper to let go and give it all up.

Not to get too personal, but I kinda know what that’s like.

There’s just something different about the horror of Wraith. It feels more intimate, more relentless. It never really gets into the fantastical or bizarre like the other games do. You just sit there, surrounded by doom, with your own Shadow manipulating you into even worse situations…

But there is something else.

Hope is there too. Quiet, sometimes dead silent, but there. There’s still a reason to care. Past the Shroud is a whole world of reasons to keep going. And beyond the Deathlands, beyond Transcendence… maybe there’s the destination you’ve always longed for. Maybe there’s a happy ending.

How wonderfully strange, that in the darkest and coldest corner of a setting already so bitterly dark and cold, there might be a happy ending to it all.

What better thing to keep fighting for?

#wraith the oblivion #wod #world of darkness #wto

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laurancezvahlslefteyebrow · 1 month

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Good Morning council it’s been a while

@xerith-42 @gonedreaminggg @cinnamontoastcroonch

I wanted to talk more specifically about what happens to certain SK characters after Shad’s eventual death, as well as the difference between premature and full shadow knights. i never really got around to this so i figured now is as good a time as any.

Ok first and foremost, full SKs:

I know some of you had liked the idea of full SKs dropping dead once and for all after Shad’s death, and at first I did too. But then I got to thinking. Technically speaking, they’d already earned their immortality. Yes the rest of their SK abilities were lost, but I like to think they remain immortal, a final gift of sorts from Shad due to their loyalty. Only issues? Well first off, they’re immortal, not invisible. They can still die, they just don’t age. Second, unlike PMSKs, they don’t have half a soul. They have no soul. They’re essentially walking husks of their former selves. They’re basically zombies, wandering the earth aimlessly, with one goal. Finishing their task. For most, like Gene, their task is fulfilling Shad’s wishes. Ie, killing Aphmau and her gang. So, if you were to approach them they’d be extremely aggressive, even if you had nothing to do with Aphmau. These guys would eventually need to be rounded up, they’re too dangerous to be left alone.

As for the few full SKs that weren’t loyal to Shad, (Vincent, Zenix, and Sasha) they’d also be husks, but they’d be non violent (Zenix… for the most part). I’m sure the Phoenix Alliance would probably try to find a cure for them, though I’m sure that’s unlikely.

Then we have the 2 PMSKs that actually died and were resurrected, Vylad and my oc Eseryt (i’m counting her bc she’s canon is my rewrite). Now the only reason they aren’t walking husks is because they never gained their immortality and thus still have the other half of their souls. Only thing is, half a soul has a tough time piloting a body alone. And so, they remain motionless and cold. Not dead, but comatose. Though they’re minds are very aware, moving a million miles a minute, panicking probably. They can very faintly hear and feel the things around them, but it’s muffled and far away. Eventually Eseryt is awoken by being given Kul’Zak’s relic (i’m sorry it’s not vylad 😬), the reason this works is because A) Eseryt is Kul’Zak’s incarnation and B) that relic contained a fragment of Zak’s soul, which was then bestowed upon Es. She’s awake, but less of herself, though not much less of a person, she now has more soul than most SKs.

Now Vylad is different. In order to wake him they needed to travel to the Yggdrasil Forest and convince the elder and council to left them have a sapling. This was very hard to do. The only real reason they eventually gave in was because these people had just vanquished the one thing that was a threat to all of them. Anyway, a ritual is preformed and Vylad awakens, also less of himself. He goes on to live a semi normal life, but one night while in a bout of sleeplessness, he unknowingly admits to Garroth that he wishes they wouldn’t have wasted the sapling on him and that he wished they would’ve just killed him. This absolutely shatters Garroth.

And on that cheery note! Laurance!

Now Laury is different. Not only was he premature, but he also never actually died. He was just transformed. Meaning, his body never needed to be resurrected. In the beginning he falls unconscious just like the others, but eventually he wakes up on his own. Though it is a slow process, taking weeks maybe even months for him to get back on his feet. When he first wakes he doesn’t know what’s happening. He’s feverish and scared and barely conscious. Eventually the fever leaves him and he’s left feeling like less of himself. More numb than usual. And he has to come to terms with the fact that he can hardly see or walk, that he’ll never guard again, and that his closest friends the past couple of years are both on their deathbeds and no one knows how to save them (he wakes up quite a bit before vylad and es). His only solis is that he’s finally with Aph and Garroth again, and he can finally meet his daughter.

I’m sorry that was a lot but I had to finally get it all out

thoughts? prayers perhaps?

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leelreallylikespersona · 1 month

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Decaying Godhood (Persona AU)

I've been rambling and throwing ideas for this AU for a good bit now, here's a much more cohesive post about it!

Shoutout to @the-squeege and @artekai for discussing ideas with me, it was super helpful o(*°▽°*)o

Spoiler warning for P3, P4, P5/P5R, P5S, and P5T!

So let’s meet the main characters and their arcana!

Nyx (Tower)

Ryoji (Death)

Izanami (Empress)

Izanagi (Emperor)

Yaldabaoth (Devil)

Satanael (Justice)

Emma (High Priestess)

Salmael (Lovers)

Azathoth (Hermit)

Adam (Strength)

I’m omitting Pandora, Nyarlathotep, Clockwork God, and Enlil since I haven’t played the games they’re from… I don’t know enough about them to include them properly.

I’m scrapping the usual typings and giving (almost) everyone new typings… mostly because I have no idea who I’d apply fire, wind, etc to, none of these guys scream any particular element. I’m still working out the typings but what I know for sure so far are the “typeless” ones:

Adam: Strictly physical attacks

Azathoth: He is strictly a healer in this, and has no offensive attacks

EMMA: Navigator, can occasionally use almighty attacks

I’m leaning toward making their typings relating to humans, somehow.

As for the plot, at least a quick summary of what I’m thinking so far… all of humanity has come to a standstill. As in, time has stopped progressing for them. However, effects of leaving a living thing out to the elements are still occurring. In other words, humans are kind of just rotting away. It’s a very slow, magic mixed with organic decay kind of process that’s going on here. The appearance of this rot becomes more and more obvious as our group of unlikely heroes progress.

The gods, with the exceptions of Nyx, Thanatos, and Izanagi are dead, so how does this work? For this AU, none of the final bosses really die… their physical forms are abolished and their concepts are left to wander a nothingness, endlessly reflecting on what they’ve done. For Adam’s case, he stuck with Maruki until he died, then he took on a human form and lived among people for many years. Now would be a good time to mention that this takes place years after the events of P5S, so any human characters are long gone.

Let’s start from the beginning of the AU. It focuses on Nyx, Ryoji, and both P3 protagonists. These four are kind of just in a white void. Ryoji is able to move freely, he can see, he could leave too, but doesn’t want to leave Minato and Minako. They’re depicted as statue-ish figures, with a few features a deity would have. Their positions after the events of P3 caused them to go from humans to some sort of gods themselves. They are still mostly human though, this is important for the start of the plot.

Nyx’s sealing is visualized here as having been chained to these two. Until now, she couldn’t move, she was paralyzed along with having actual restraints. Therefore she couldn’t see, her eyes were forced shut. She couldn’t speak either. She could hear though, and the only thing she could do was listen to Ryoji speak to Minato and Minako. Some days, he’d talk to them as if they were still around. Other times, she could hear him mourn. Initially, she didn’t understand it at all. Sure, that’s her kid, and she cared about him somewhat, but she didn’t understand why he’d cry about them so much. There’d be times too, where Ryoji would talk to her, usually it would be him saying he wishes she could understand humans like he did, or sometimes he’d yell at her. Over the course of years and years, Nyx comes to understand Ryoji’s feelings… somewhat, anyway.

This brings me back to the chains she has. Now, all of the sudden, she can see and move again. And these chains, which were once really short, are now much longer, allowing Nyx to walk pretty far from them. This happening is meant to show Minato and Minako’s humanity being affected by the Rot, which is causing them to lose their grip on Nyx.

Upon hearing some movement, Ryoji is quick to become aggressive, but Nyx is still disoriented from suddenly being able to see and speak again, so she doesn’t return any hostility. You can imagine the arguing taking place as they try to figure out what’s happening. After a while, they realize they are able to see into the human realm. That’s when they notice the state of humanity.

Of course, they don’t notice the Rot yet. These two are the first to venture into the human realm to investigate what is going on. It’s mostly Ryoji that wants to figure things out, he takes Nyx with him to keep an eye on her.

This brings me to the motivations of each of the characters… Ryoji going out of his way to help humans makes sense. He did live as one, and made a lot of friends who he cared a lot for. For others, they hate humanity (cough Yaldabaoth), so why’re they here? Simply put, after humans rot away, the realm of gods is next. Also worth mentioning, everyone now has a humanoid form (if they didn’t have one already), so this is something of a second chance for these guys too.

I’ll go through each character:

Nyx: After spending years only listening to Ryoji talk to the twins and voice his affections for humanity, she gains a better understanding of them and obtains a sense of self (much like how Thanatos/Death became Ryoji during P3). She feels like she owes it to Ryoji to help him now.

Izanami and Izanagi: After the events of P4, these two really didn’t feel like doing anything else… Izanami was unable to do much anyway. They are later dragged out of the realm of nothingness they were hanging out in. Izanagi’s time with Yu makes him far more inclined to help out, Izanami is a little heartbroken that after the Investigation Team proved humanity’s worth, they fell into this state.

Satanael: He ditches the Phantom Thieves after Yaldabaoth is taken care of, and left to go cause minor bouts of chaos, nothing too drastic. He doesn’t outright try to end humanity, he just likes “poking fun”, so when everything comes to a standstill, he’s alarmed. Satanael is more neutral compared to everyone else, he does care about mankind, not to the extent that Ryoji and Azathoth do, though. He doesn’t hate them either, so he (probably) helps them for a selfless reason.

Yaldabaoth: For sure is only saving humanity so he also doesn’t rot away. Perhaps by the end, he’s changed a bit, but now that he’s given a physical form again, who knows what he’ll get up to.

EMMA: Upon being defeated, she spent her time watching over Sophia and Ichinose. She chooses to help humanity because of how well the PTs treated Sophia.

Salmael: Toshiro’s anxiousness rubbed off on him a bit… As the god of stagnation, this halt in humanity seems like it’s his doing, but it isn’t. He ventures out thinking that he somehow accidentally did it, and is horrified by the Rot..

Azathoth and Adam: These two genuinely care for humanity, their motivations are completely selfless. While Azathoth can suspend his emotions, Adam spent more time with Maruki, living as a human for years, so he’s much more emotional over the whole situation.

None of these guys are able to have Personas, but are able to “summon” their deity forms as an extension of themselves (so there’s a split-consciousness situation happening). Awakenings are still required for them to be able to do this, though, similar to Persona awakenings.

This ability requires one to first of all realize that their status and power as a god is due to humanity’s perception of them, but then they also must accept that. Only then they can “break free” of their restricted humanoid forms to use their more powerful forms. These forms look similar to their in-game designs, but there’ll be some differences, as I want to give them fun new(ish) designs…

Acquiring this ability is much easier for some than others… Ryoji and Adam as an example, are really quick to accept this once they understand the idea initially, but then a few others refuse to accept that humans are responsible for their power.

As for enemies, Shadows are present due to humans being unable to pass properly. For major bosses, the Rot left some human bodies as empty husks that became aggressive. These husks are attracted to the power the gods have.

Some side characters I also want to include… Jose and Sophia run the shop that provides weapons and other equipment! There’s also the Velvet Room that has specifics I’m trying to figure out… I might make Yu and Ren the attendants.

I think that’s all I have for now! I’d still like to figure out the order in which each god joins the team… It starts with Ryoji and Nyx, Salmael probably second since he’s already out investigating (he can be the navigator before Emma joins), then it’s either Adam since he’s also around, or Emma. This is still a wip! So if anyone has any comments or anything, feel free to send an ask! I'm already doing some doodles for this so hopefully I'll have some art for it soon (❁´◡`❁)

#Persona 3 #Persona 4 #Persona 5 #Persona 5 Royal #Persona AU #P3 AU #P4 AU #P5R AU #I honestly would love to see the final bosses come back somehow...#But that'll never happen so I'll just have this AU to keep me entertained (●'◡'●)#P3 spoilers #P4 spoilers #P5 spoilers #P5R spoilers #P5S spoilers #P5T spoilers

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1moreff-creator · 8 months

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Firstly, as always, good luck with the David video Secondly however, I would like to know your thoughts on the hidden text that can be seen when you inspect the about page on the DRDT Tumblr. I saw it on a Youtube community post and I honestly thought it was fake for a while because no one said where it could be seen, and I only now found out that it's in the about page. I have seen literally no one on Tumblr analyze it so I wanted to know your thoughts on it. Thank you !

Hey! Thanks for the usual well wishes! I’ve edited comfortably past the halfway point of the script by now, so hopefully my suffering will end soon! It only took… like an hour and a bit to get to the halfway point! Haha… ha…

Anyways, About page text. Yeah, it’s a weird one, there’s a reason there’s not much discussion around it. It’s hard to point down exactly what it means, but I do have some things to say about it. I was actually already thinking of making a post about it, so this is a good excuse :v

Anyways, a fair bit of my interpretation come from a lot of other posts around Tumblr, but there are a few things I want to bring to the table, especially regarding the mastermind’s feelings towards the killing game and the potential connection between the DRDT mastermind and Mukuro Ikusaba. Sure, that sounds insane enough for my average post.

CW: Murder, mentions of starving

So here’s the About page text for the uninitiated:

“You don’t understand, do you? I used to be like you. I barely remember, but I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people." "I know what you’re going through. You’re going to hold on as long as you have, with hope that you can make it out of here with everyone. Then you’re going to despair. That lasts a while, too." "Then you’ll get bored. Like me." "And you’ll wish you were still suffering. Anything else is better than boredom." "I wish I could feel something, anything else, other than being bored. I’m stuck in here for eternity, and I know everything that could possibly happen. I know how everyone reacts to a murder, what makes people turn to despair, what fills people with hope and make them survive until we all run out of food and starve to death." "I wish I could feel terrified, or afraid, or angry. But I can’t anymore. I don’t feel anything at all except boredom." "Do you understand, Teacher?" "This is why I’m letting you suffer as long as possible. Because it’s better than the alternative." "I’m sorry. I don’t envy you." "You’ll understand eventually.”

As you can see, it’s pretty weird. You got some character monologuing to some “Teacher” about hope and despair and boredom, saying they can predict what everyone’s gonna do and feel and how that makes everything boring.

This definitely makes them sound a lot like Junko, and the connection is certainly clear. They both hate boredom with a burning passion and are able to easily predict people’s actions and feelings. But there’s actually one crucial line we have to keep in mind which separates them:

“I don’t envy you.”

The character speaking doesn’t enjoy despair, they only prefer it over boredom. This separates them from Junko herself, who does explicitly enjoy despair even without factoring in her hatred for boredom. Keep this in mind, I’ll bring it up later.

But what’s most important about this character, is that they’re likely not a DRDT character, but rather the protagonist of “Forever Dead”, the book Veronika talks about in her introduction. Take a look at how she describes it (and sorry the screenshots aren’t perfect, the text flashes too quickly).

Veronika: Oh oh oh! Speaking of horror, let me tell you about the horror bookI'm currently reading! It's called Forever Dead! You see, it's about a boy stuck in a time loop and forced to watch his friends die for eternity. While he is horrified at first, he eventually becomes more concerned over his growing boredom in t[he face of the] terrible tragedies because he sees them over and over again. The book is written like a normal autobiography at first, but as the protagonist descends into insanity over time, the writin[g style] starts to fall apart and take on a more sinister tone. Format twists like that are so fascinating, don't you think? Honestly, I would really love to know just how it feels to be in his shoes and experience something so horrible over and over and over again. And then, my favorite scene in the book, is one time he's impaled by many metal spikes and left to slowly bleed to death while he's left c[ontemplating] his thoughts. He's forced to apologize for everything he did... while... he... um... ohh..."

“Forever Dead” (FD) is a completely fictional book, as in, it doesn’t exist in real life. You can actually tell because it isn’t censored the way the dev usually censors real things, like A****a C*****e’s name [Agatha Christie]. So if it was made up specifically for DRDT, that would imply it holds some significance.

And you can see a lot of the same ideas as in the About page text. A character who ends up becoming bored of their environment, turning to unethical acts to entertain themselves. But what’s really striking is the repeated mention of the “Teacher” in the About page text.

(Is that a Rei Mekaru reference?!)

There… really isn’t a DRDT character who would be called that. I’ve seen it related to Mai before, and while the teacher could be an allegory for Mai, it can’t literally be her. Mai is a student, and not a particularly academically gifted one at that; she’s not anyone’s teacher. The only other person who could apply is the teacher Min is implied to have had at the end of her Bonus Episode, but… like, what would that mean. Why is he important?

No, I think it makes more sense to assume this is related to Forever Dead. That would also explain why the character claims to be “stuck for all eternity” even though they know what to do to make everyone “survive until [they] all run out of food and starve.” And also because of a little theory-bordering-on-headcanon I have.

Don’t you think it’s strange how the character uses the word “Teacher”? People in the US, to my knowledge, don’t speak like that. I believe they use “Mr/Ms/Mx [Name]” or something like that. So, could this be an in-universe translation quirk? For example, if “Forever Dead” is originally Japanese, the character could actually be saying “Sensei”, which I think is more common, and is sometimes directly translated to “Teacher” even though it sounds a bit weird in English. I personally love this idea because it conjures up the frankly amusing idea of the dev making up not a book in English, but a book translated to English from Japanese just for shits and giggles.

Anyways, rambling aside, the point stands. I think this is a (fictional) quote from (the fictional book) “Forever Dead.” So what does it mean for DRDT?

Well, seeing as it’s literally in the About page, it’s likely closely linked to the very nature of the killing game, right? It makes sense to assume we’re meant to relate the mastermind to this quote. The attitude is mastermind-y, the actions are mastermind-y, the context is mastermind-y, we’re calling mastermind.

But wait. Since this Forever Dead protagonist constantly speaks of boredom, doesn’t that instantly relate them to Veronika?

Well, yes.

…

But… it’s Veronika. It would honestly be weirder if something related to the mastermind doesn’t link back to her. She’s the biggest mastermind bait I’ve ever seen, and unless she has an early reveal, I don’t quite see her as the mm (I’ll just start shortening it).

Other theories have also connected it to Whit’s intuition. I find these interesting, and about as plausible as any other good mastermind theory. However, since the “boredom < despair” angle is something which I feel is quite intuitive for the average DR fan who knows anything about Junko and Izuru, I actually want to dive a bit deeper into what the connection between the mm and the Forever Dead protagonist could mean, since that’s an angle I’ve seen explored less often.

For one, there’s the time loop thing. Now, I don’t believe DRDT takes place in an actual time loop, but I think there’s an argument that there is a repetition of events at play. As in, things which happened in the past, and are repeating in the present.

Yes I’m talking about the pre-prologue cutscene.

... Fuck!! Fuck, fuck, fuck, this really hurts... Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.

I’ve talked about it before, but as a refresher: that fork with blood on it implies whoever is speaking got attacked with the fork, which fits Xander’s eye injury suspiciously closely.

(Believe it or not, the David MV might have an allusion to it as well but I am not getting into that)

So if Xander is the one speaking, if you think about it, it must mean he was involved in a killing game previous to the one we see in DRDT. Which, in fact, Teruko may have some vague memories of.

Teruko: And also, as a way to reference that "past killing game," right?

That could be about the THH killing game, which frankly sorta makes more sense in context, but seeing as Veronika then claims nothin like a killing game had happened before, I find it most likely that got completely erased from history.

So what’s the important thing here? Well, for one, if Xander’s eye injury came from a previous killing game, then we are definitely not talking about an actual time loop, as that would have erased his eye injury. However, it could be talking about a repetition of events. Perhaps there have been multiple killing games before this one, a la V3 but without the “fiction” aspect presumably.

This is nothing new by itself, but it does have an odd implication when related back to the About page text. Think about it, the FD protagonist doesn’t enjoy the time loop. If he could, he would end it. So if he’s meant to reflect the DRDT MM’s attitude, could this mean the mastermind doesn’t actually enjoy the killing games?

It sounds insane, but hear me out. We’ve already established the FD protag doesn’t actually enjoy despair, so if they’re meant to parallel the MM, then that could imply the MM doesn’t enjoy despair either. And if they’re being forced into the MM role repeatedly for one reason or another, the same way the FD protagonist is forced into the time loop, wouldn’t they grow bored of it, despite the despair? It’s the same thing as the FD protagonist:

“…I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people.”

If we apply this with the idea that “time loop” = “repeating killing games”, and that “FD protag” = “Matermind”, then what we have is a reluctant mastermind forced to go through with several killing games for reasons unknown, who only grew slightly fond of despair once they grew bored of everything else.

So, uh, there’s definitely unhinged point #1. However, there is another thing to note, the one I mentioned in the beginning. And since I mentioned it, you probably caught it. The FD protag dies the exact same way Mukuro does, and since the FD protag is connected to the DRDT MM, it’s possible there’s some connection between Mukuro and the DRDT MM. Most likely related to their mastermind-iness.

Of course, what the connection could actually be is very vague, and there’s a ton of options. Still, here’s a few possibilities I find the most interesting:

>The mastermind is a secret extra student, hiding somewhere in the school. So Mai. I don’t quite like this one since it’s sorta silly and I just don’t see Mai as the mastermind, but it is there.

>The mastermind deeply adores a loved one, and may even disguise themselves to look like this loved one. Like Mukuro does with Junko… and like Whit does with his mom. This is to appease the people who love the Whit MM theory, because I know some people are really passionate about it and it’s frankly always fun to see those people talk about it! It is also just objectively funny to always find ways to pin him as the MM imo.

>The mastermind fully disguised themselves as another person. So, Veronika = Mai crack theory. Sure, at this point.

>There are two masterminds, and one of them died early on. Basically thinking of Xander here, given the whole “kill Teruko Tawaki” thing. The second would probably have to be Mai unfortunately, so I don’t quite see it. Though I guess it could also be David, or just anyone else in the killing game for that matter, but you know.

>The mastermind faked their death. You know, we never saw Min’s corpse… So we’re off to delulu land! Min is still alive! Min is still alive! Min-!

Blatant favoritism aside, that’s pretty unlikely. I doubt the mastermind would want to straight up lose an arm in a fake execution. Though I guess if she’s a reluctant MM maybe she doesn’t get a say in the executions, so…

Min is still alive! Mind is still alive!

>There are two masterminds, and one of them is disguising as the other. This fits shockingly close to the J & Ryan double mastermind theory I swear exists somewhere on Tumblr and I’m not going insane I just can’t find the post. Essentially, the idea that Ryan and J swap places constantly, taking turns on who is the more traditional mastermind and who stays in the killing game, explaining that one time Rose seemingly didn’t recognize J in chapter 1. So two siblings, where one of them disguised as the other while the other just presents as themselves? Exactly like Mukuro and Junko.

But I feel the most grounded ideas are usually the likeliest ones, which is why I think this connection to Mukuro may simply be another way of saying the MM was manipulated/coerced into their position, instead of choosing to be the MM on their own.

It’s a less conclusive answer, but it’s less farfetched than the other ones. And it sorta fits… uh….

Well, see, I’m making a post with AUs for all possible MMs… and I kinda accidentally convinced myself Rose might be the mastermind? I might make a more detailed post about it later, but basically this more vague connection to Mukuro fits, so.

Anyways, those are all the possibilities I can think of for unhinged point #2, the connection between the MM and Mukuro. I don’t have much else to say, as I feel this is something that’s gonna make more sense as we move forward in the series.

Hope that was satisfying! Take care!

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt theory #forever dead #we tag fake books in this house

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seancekitsch · 10 months

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But what if your Bodyguard! AU gets angsty bc Emhyr sends Cahir to raid caravans instead of guarding his lovely Viscountess? What then?

ok for those of you that are new i recommend reading my bodyguard au! drabble series and buckling in because i play god when it comes to mashing book and show canon together to make sense of both versions of a character just to make an au

“Won’t you say goodbye to me?” Cahir begs, his third time circling the stool you keep moving around to refuse to meet his gaze.

“Won’t you die like all the rest?” you spit back at him.

“That’s not fair and you know it!”

He’s right, it’s not. But these raiding parties are a death trap and you refuse to let Cahir see the tears in your eyes.

“Leave and find your life’s adventures and get back in the Emperors stupid good graces and be his doting little lapdog and I’ll find myself a boring husband before a fortnight is out and live my life of servitude to him,” you hiss, finally stopping in your running and letting Cahir come crashing into you.

“If that’s what you wish,” Cahir says, barely above a whisper. Your breath hitches as he leans in, almost as if he’ll try to kiss the side of your head or your shoulder, but he doesn’t.

He leaves, and you break down into your tears, collapsing onto you vanity.

Hours turn into days, and days turn into weeks. You refuse to leave your apartments, your bedroom and your sitting parlor. You don’t attend feasts, you don’t attend parties. Your ladies in waiting, now down to two, flit in and out of the rooms but never stay for long. Granted, they never did when Cahir was here either, but now it seems moreso that they’re avoiding you. As far as you know, Cahir is dead in a forest and so are you. Even your good friend the Count of Magne calling upon you doesn’t shake your woe. You don’t care who knows of your deep sadness since your bodyguard was sent away, all gossip immediately less important than the ring of yours that Cahir wore on his chain the night he left. All that mattered was that ring and whatever mass grave it would end up in. Or honestly, whatever trash heap Cahir threw it in after you were so cold to him.

You hear whispers of unrest in Thanedd, and barely bat an eye. Who cares? They’ll either come for the Nilfgaardian vassals or they won’t. All balls and parties stop, and everyone freezes to prepare for battle for a moment. You barely notice, you haven’t been past your balcony since your bodyguard left and all of the noise of the castle only drowns itself out in your wine and your baths. Your absence is duly noted and gossip has spread but you couldn’t give a fuck about your status at parties or the state of your region. You almost hope the northern armies come for you first, one of the leaders of a Northernmost vassal. Your head might look cute on a pike, at least if they let you style your hair and makeup first, you think, you hope they at least have that dignity. You barely dwell on it, you just let yourself go numb to it all.

“They’ve retreated over the Yaruga,” your lady recalls, combing your hair while you bathe.

“Great,” you sigh, not hiding the fact that you don’t care.

“Great? We lost,” she insists, a bit rougher in her combing in her annoyance at your response.

“Let them all kill each other,” you suppose, picking up your flagon and drawing it to your lips.

“How dare you?” she speaks out of turn, “Your future husband, the future Viscount of this region may be out there.”

You chug, letting you head tilt all the way back.

“Trust me, I know he is.”

You’re shaken from your haze by a rock hitting your window. Not quite asleep, not quite awake; you haven’t slept well in a while. You hear it, and you refuse to turn over. There’s nothing that could be important enough, not unless your bodyguard came through your doorway again to stand at his post just to the left of it.

But the rocks keep coming, and coming. And they get bigger. You throw on your blue dressing gown, never mind that it was Cahir’s favorite, and go to the window intent on telling whoever it is to fuck off.

You’re greeted by the faces of a woman, short haired with a quiver of arrows at her back, and a man, a long haired bard with a lute on his hip.

“Let a tired woman sleep,” you shout, ready to close your window again.

“We have a message! A message of true love!” the bard shouts.

“True love is dead,” you spit, and slam the window shut. The largest rock yet comes sailing into the window, this time cracking it. Spiderwebs of broken glass spread in its wake.

“You’re fucking kidding me!” you shout as you throw the now broken window back open, only to be greeted by the face of your (ex?) lover and bodyguard among the intruders.

“We weren’t lying!” the woman shouts back. She wasn’t. He’s here and he’s alive, he came back for you just like he said. White flame be damned, what’s become of you in this time though? Would he not think you kept true to your word and wed someone else?

“Cahir,” you whisper, but it’s as if even in the darkness he can see your lips form around his name.

“My Viscountess, I’ve come against your wishes,” He shouts, his grin wide enough to be seen from a distance. You smile, but only briefly, and then you leave the window.

Cahir wonders for a moment if you’ve gone to alert other guards, if you have a new bodyguard, or…. He doesn’t think about it. He only motions for his two new friends to run if need be, and positions himself to draw a sword. You don’t return to the window.

“Stupid idea, really,” Cahir admits, and motions to them to leave.

“At least you tried,” Milva says, slightly cringing as she does.

“Perhaps this will hurt less after some ale and we make money off of the song I write about—“

The bard is cut off by another voice.

“Really? You’re leaving again?”

Cahir turns to face the Viscountess that’s plagued every dream of his since he left, the woman who practically wished him dead two months ago, the woman he would marry tonight if she let him. You’re in only your dressing gown and those damned riding boots, the ones with his laces in them. You drive him insane, even now.

“You vile, crazed woman that’s what you wanted!” he answers, the argument he walked away from when he left picking right back up.

“No it’s— I—“ you look shocked, for maybe the first time in all the time he’s known you, “Well, If you leave again you better make sure we both die. I wished it. I wished us both dead the last time.”

Your quivering lip, even in the moonlight, tells him all he needs to know. He quickly crosses the distance between the two of you, cupping your cheek in his warm palm while the other hand comes around your waist. Like muscle memory, your arms wind their way across his back like ivy on a tower.

“Who says we have to die?” He asks, and your eyes get a little watery. He’s never actually seen you cry, not like this. He decides he hates it.

“Well, if I couldn’t have you…” you trail off, not wanting to really admit what little you’d been up to.

“You have me. Quit frowning and pack a bag,” He orders, “And put some clothes on. As your bodyguard I shouldn’t be letting you out looking like such a scandal.”

You lean into him, not yet ready to let go.

“But this is your favorite.”

“So it is. Throw it in the bag.”

#cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach x reader #cahir x reader

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