moonluringfrost

[moonluringfrost]

i think i'll just go on hiatus. close my ask box, dms, and the @ function for a while

#i'm just really not in the mood to interact with people and this blog is All interacting with people

[moonluringfrost]

the desire to delete this blog and start over grows stronger every day

#to be clear that wouldn't effect scorpion grass #that's a separate blog #and i know how to delete a sideblog without accidentally nuking my account #it would be Fine

[moonluringfrost]

[moonluringfrost]

Emil Nolde - Autumn Sea XII (1910)

[moonluringfrost]

actually i saw this on dash and i might as well ask!!

#i really don’t like it

[moonluringfrost]

i don't "dissociate" i'm just practicing separating my soul from my body so i'm ready for death. like any good philosopher should

[moonluringfrost]

The combination of 'unnervingly flawless self-control' with 'occasional tendency to engage in reckless, dangerous, and borderline self-destructive or death-seeking behaviour' in a character is SUCH catnip to me

[moonluringfrost]

if yall ever want like serious advice from me about how to solve burnout as a creative it's like...

literally ignore it. stop pushing. go do something else, enjoy your life, fill it with other things, do what brings you joy in the moment if you can.

go to the gym, take a walk to touch grass and look at dogs and smell flowers, cook dinner, watch tv with your friends, talk about your feelings as needed with ppl you trust, take a drive and blast your music, do the chores you need to do, the job hunting slog you need to do, read books that aren't for research, stop cordoning off your brain for The Craft or The Draft or whatever the fuck

forget about the project, stop thinking about it for as long as it takes to be excited again.

fuckin rest, basically

[moonluringfrost]

big fan of the “I can’t fix him but I can follow him to his tragic and untimely end and love him even as he becomes corrupted and decays into a shadow of his former self” trope

[moonluringfrost]

Please do cite the deep magic to me actually. I may have been there when it was written but I am very forgetful

[moonluringfrost]

#ametrine core

[moonluringfrost]

#that's me

[moonluringfrost]

[moonluringfrost]

Tag list:

@jacqueswriteblrlibrary, @superflytrap, @cloudless-petrichor, @seekingidlewild, @justnerdy15, @lesbian-apple-yogurt, @acertainmoshke, @elshells, @astellarium

Of Course You Trust Him

Start | Prev

“Don’t I always? You don’t have to ask every time.” 

Theo huffs, amused. “I’m… not sure you should, all things considered.” 

Before you can ask what he means, the world twists. There’s a pulling sensation, a bit like the tie you just severed. 

Your first instinct is to resist this pull, caught off guard as you are. But you told Theo you would trust him, so you let yourself be led away. 

When your vision clears you are no longer in Pat’s living room. 

No, you’re somewhere much more familiar. 

“Seriously?” you chide the open air. 

The format has changed slightly, but you think you’d recognize this place in any art style. Honestly, you’d probably recognize it blindfolded. 

Theo hasn’t responded to you. 

You sigh and settle down into the field of scorpion grass. 

Wasn’t it super super important that Theo not have people inside his soul? 

Maybe it was just the living people that were the problem? Or maybe it was maintaining the labyrinth, or Ametrine’s presence specifically that was hurting him, and Pat needed to leave because they’re a normal human. 

You doubt you’ll get a definite answer if you ask. You’re not going to bother. 

You hang out for a while, experimenting with a world made of oil paint. The petals of the flowers are surprisingly sharp. 

The novelty wears off for a little while. You aren’t sure exactly what Theo’s plan was here, or why he’s not responding to you. 

Despite being literally surrounded by a friend… 

You’re alone with your thoughts now. 

It’s doubtful you’ll ever get comfortable with that. 

Tearing out the connection to your former selves was a little like pulling a tooth. You find yourself unable to keep from poking at the void left behind. 

You know what you are now, mostly. But you still don’t remember being yourself. All you can remember is the fear you felt before flinching away. Like a hand from a hot stove. 

You’d like to think you know better than to touch a hot stove. And yet you can’t help but poke at the empty space. And every time you poke at it, the panic tries to sink its hooks back into you. 

You need to think about something, anything else. 

You wonder how Pat is doing. You still aren’t 100% sure what was going on with them. And you aren’t sure that doctors will even be able to help if the problem was weird exorcist magic. 

But Theo and Ametrine seemed convinced that doctors were the solution and they know more about all this than you do, so. It’s probably fine. 

You’re going to convince yourself that it’s going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine and definitely nothing bad will happen to Pat. 

Thinking about Pat being in the hospital for a second too long makes you panic in a different way. 

So you were wrong that thinking about anything else was a good idea. You should stick to specific things. Safe things that can’t hurt you. 

At least until Theo stops with the radio silence. 

Seriously, what gives? 

He goes through all that trouble to get you out of his soul, then invites you right back in but ditches you? 

Rude. 

Then again… 

Maybe he’s just tired. 

He has been going through a lot lately. Maybe you’re being too harsh on him. 

“Theo, are you napping right now? Can ghosts even nap? Is that a thing?” 

He still doesn’t answer. 

You’re going to take that as a yes until proven otherwise. 

Either way you are still alone with your thoughts and in need of a distraction. 

Surely… 

Surely since Theo invited you in here, he won’t mind if you take a look around? You aren’t planning on being too nosey, but you are curious about what his soul is like normally. 

[moonluringfrost]

explain your reasoning if you so desire!

#i'll wait #gotta let the ideas marinate

[moonluringfrost]

tumblr is great because no matter how many followers i get it doesn't stop me from being really fucking annoying. other places i will perhaps think before i post. Not here. not here

[moonluringfrost]

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it