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retro-scorpio · 3 years

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The Arcana Meets The Devildom (Part Seven)

The Evolution of MC’s Relationship With The Residents of The House of Lamentation

Author’s Note: Even though the MC described in the following post will be based on myself, I will not be using my actual name, a fictional name, or gendered pronouns for MC at this time. I still want it to be accessible to people, and I feel like giving a name/gendered pronouns to my version of MC will remove a layer of that accessibility. Plus, it will (hopefully) allow people to insert themselves, their version of MC, and/or their OC into this if they so choose. Also, this is going to end up being a long post that uses explicit language, so if that’s not your thing, you can just scroll past this.

Fictional Backstory: Upon dying from the Red Plague, MC finds themselves not in the afterworld that they had familiarized themselves with, but plopped down in the student council room of the Royal Academy of Diavolo with only the memories of the faces they left behind in Vesuvia and the knowledge of the magic they learned while they were still ‘”alive”. Once MC passes through the portal to return to the human world after their second stint in the Devildom, they find themselves back in Vesuvia due to Asra raising them from the “dead”. Neither the residents of Vesuvia nor the Devildom know that they’ve dealt with the same MC until after Julian, Asra, and Lucio’s arrival to the Devildom. Let’s just say everyone was in for a treat when their beloved MC strolled into the residence they were visiting and said hello to the Vesuvian person in the room.

Julian: MC’s main lover in Vesuvia. MC actually developed a crush on the plague doctor when they were his apprentice, but due to the relationship they had with Asra at the time, they kept their feelings to themselves. What MC likes the most about Julian (besides his good looks) is his sense of humor, because it shows the full range of his personality: intelligent and witty yet goofy and a little stupid. When it comes to bedroom activities, MC and Julian keep things fresh and exciting. There are times where they’ll do the good ol’ missionary sex, times where Julian will fuck MC silly (usually after an evening show at the community theater in Goldgrave when Julian just has so much adrenaline from acting on stage that he can’t sit still), and times where MC will edge Julian and make him beg for his orgasm.

Out of the three Vesuvian men, Julian is the most understanding and accepting of MC pursuing other people romantically during their stay in the Devildom. To paraphrase Julian, MC was considered dead in Vesuvia for the three years MC spent in this other world, and his relationship with MC didn’t start until after MC rose from the dead/returned from the Devildom, so he considers it a part of MC’s past that they should not feel ashamed of. MC enjoys the fact that Julian gets on with her Devildom friends/lovers as well as he does for a variety of reasons (as you, the reader, will see unfold in this post and in others).

Lucifer: MC’s main lover in the Devildom. MC developed a crush on the eldest demon brother pretty much the moment they set eyes on him, but unfortunately for MC, Lucifer initially saw them as a weak human exchange student that he was forced to take care of. Lucifer’s impression of MC only worsened when they went up the stairs to the attic, and MC was incredibly heartbroken and pissed when they found out that Lucifer was the one responsible for locking Belphie up in the attic and deceiving the other brothers about Belphie’s whereabouts. These feelings culminate in the underground tomb. MC, incredibly angry at Lucifer and yet (somehow) wanting to gain his approval, wraps Lucifer’s hands around their neck and dares him/gives him permission to kill them as punishment for allowing Luke access to the House of Lamentation and dragging Beel in their shenanigans.

Initially after this incident, Lucifer and MC wanted very little to do with each other, but as time wore on, they slowly grew closer to one another. MC’s crush on Lucifer resumed, albeit cautiously, and Lucifer started developing feelings of his own towards MC, although he would have never admitted that to himself or anyone else, not even Asmo (who sensed Lucifer’s crush on MC perhaps even before Lucifer himself did). Perhaps Asmo was on to something, because why would Lucifer feel as betrayed as he did when MC told him that they had met Belphegor? Sure, he felt that MC had just put his entire family at risk of experiencing Diavolo’s wrath, which is a decent enough reason to become irate at someone, but there was something else that was feeding into his anger as well, something that was related to love. MC, in a fit of passion and after Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, and Beel entered the room and tried to stop Lucifer from annihilating MC, grabbed a nearby knife and chopped two of their fingers off, staring Lucifer dead in the face and not shedding a single tear (due to adrenaline numbing the pain).

Once the situation with Belphegor was resolved and the youngest brother was allowed to live with the rest of his family again, Lucifer calls MC into his study and put their fingers back on with some sewing and a bit of magic. Just as MC is about to leave, Lucifer tells MC that he’s sorry. MC, understand that it takes a lot for the Avatar of Pride to apologize, forgives him, and Lucifer thanks them for their forgiveness. This interaction would be the catalyst for their romantic relationship, and they would eventually repeat this exchange when MC is about to kill Lucifer with the Night Dagger.

Lucifer and MC’s romantic relationship is one built on admiration for each other. Get Lucifer drunk on Demonus, and he’ll blab all about how much he adores everything about MC. The pair can usually be found in one of four places at the House: Lucifer’s study, the library, the music room, and Lucifer’s bedroom. The library and music room are safe places for the couple to be discovered in, for they’re either reading (library) or listening to the other play music (music room). Lucifer’s study is a bit of a gamble, for they could either be working on paperwork/schoolwork in each other’s company, or Lucifer could have MC bent over his desk and ramming his dick in and out of them.

As for Lucifer’s bedroom, it’s best for everyone involved if no one disturbs Lucifer and MC. Most of the time, Lucifer uses his bedroom to explore MC’s kinks. About half the time, it gets sexual; the other half is mere discovery of what MC likes and what MC deems as limits. Sometimes, when Lucifer just wants to be close to MC, they will do the good ol’ missionary. MC is one of two people that can get Lucifer to submit to them, and that happens only when the eldest demon brother wants a break from being in charge of everything.

Lucifer was pleased to find out that not only did MC and Julian know each other, but that they started a romantic relationship when MC returned to Vesuvia. Since Julian is (sort of) the Vesuvian version of him, it raises his pride (and ego) to discover that they both fit MC’s type. If MC doesn’t bring the idea up first, he might just suggest bringing Julian into some of their bedroom activities.

Mammon: One of MC’s fuck buddies in the Devildom. Initially, Mammon and MC vehemently hated each other. Mammon thought that MC was a pretentious snob, and MC believed Mammon to be a complete and utter asshole. Whenever they were near each other, they would inevitably butt heads and argue loudly, to the annoyance and shock of everyone else.

One of these arguments occurs in Mammon’s room. Lucifer had sent MC in there to help tutor Mammon, since they were doing well in the classes that Mammon was failing. MC gets frustrated that Mammon isn’t even trying to get the material, and Mammon accuses MC of only helping him in order to stay on Lucifer’s good side. MC lets a compliment slip when they yell at Mammon, “If I didn’t think there was a way for you to wrap your brain around this, I wouldn’t still be here!” Mammon stares at MC as MC processes what they just said, and the pair are so still and quiet that someone could hear a pin drop. Then, as if someone hit the fast forward button, Mammon pounces on MC, and they aggressively make out. Thirty minutes later, both are a naked, sweaty mess on Mammon’s couch, and the room reeks of what they’ve just done. Thank goodness demons can only impregnate when it’s mating season...

When Mammon isn’t fucking the shit out of MC (which is what usually happens when MC and Mammon get together sexually, despite popular belief), the pair is seen tinkering around with Mammon’s car. While MC does still tutor Mammon at times, Mammon’s (finally) at a point where he’s at least passing all of his classes. Mammon sometimes takes MC out with him to his modeling gigs, which has resulted in MC ending up on the cover of a couple magazines.

When Mammon found out about MC’s other life in Vesuvia, he initially got really jealous of Julian, but that feeling quickly got replaced with something else when he found out about the nature of MC and Lucio’s relationship. In his ongoing attempt of earning all the Grimm in the world, Mammon gets the “brilliant” idea to film a really filthy porno starring him, Lucio, and MC (with MC’s consent, of course). Mammon also likes taking naps with MC and Julian for some reason that he still doesn’t quite understand.

Levi: One of MC’s friends in the Devildom that they hooked up with once. Levi hated MC long after the TSL trivia showdown, and MC had no idea why. At first, MC chalked up Levi’s hatred towards them to his feelings about losing to someone he deemed inferior to him, but as time went on and Levi still was acting cold towards them, MC felt that there was something else that was upsetting Levi. As it turns out, it all boiled down to Levi’s sin: envy. Levi was jealous of MC on a multitude of levels. He saw how MC was acing the subjects that he struggled in; he saw how well MC got along with everyone; and he even saw how easy it was for MC to express their feelings for someone. Long story short, Levi felt inadequate against and unworthy of spending time with MC, and he hated both himself and MC for it.

All it took for him to change his mind was an impromptu family gaming night in Levi’s room. The game? DarioKart (the Devildom equivalent of MarioKart). Levi was winning every single race he was in, even against decent racers like MC, Beel, and Lucifer. Asmo, being the Avatar of Lust, was the first to discover that Levi’s skills at DarioKart was causing MC to, shall we say, look at the third-eldest demon brother in a new light. At Asmo’s advice, MC whispered in Levi’s ear that if he won the next race he competed in, they would make this a night to remember. MC gave him a kiss on the cheek, and that was enough motivation for him to destroy his opponents in his next race. With Lucifer (who was in the loop due to Asmo having a quiet conversation with him during the race) and Asmo’s help, Levi and MC were able to have some privacy.

Once everyone’s out of the room, MC moves from their spot on the floor and straddles Levi’s lap, which causes Levi to turn red and begin stuttering. MC moves Levi’s fringe out of his eyes and tells him how hot Levi was, winning so many times. Before Levi can reply, MC leans in and kisses him. Unsurprisingly, Levi’s shy at first, because he’s scared that MC’s going to pull away in disgust or that he’s going to wake up and find out that all of this was a dream; however, when neither one of those things happens, Levi gets more bold as he gains confidence. This slow, sensuous make-out session eventually leads to MC blowing him in his gaming chair, and after that evening Levi starts treating MC nicely (for some totally unknown reason (ha ha)). There is not a second sexual encounter, but Levi’s perfectly content with the one. All he needs MC to do is to hang out with him and watch anime and/or play video games.

Levi was excited when he found out that MC knew Julian and Asra, because that meant that he could invite the three of them to his room and know that they genuinely wanted to be there. Sure, Henry 2.0 is a nice enough friend, but Levi comes to discover that having human friends is just as good as having an animal companion.

Satan: MC’s (kind of) ex-turned-best-friend. MC first had their eyes on Satan when they entered his room for the first time and saw the sheer volume of books he had in his possession. MC’s crush on Satan grew when he was a guest speaker in their curses and hexes class. To put it simply, MC found Satan’s intelligence incredibly sexy. Similarly, when Satan was tasked with proofreading MC’s Devildom Literature essay, he discovered that the quality of writing was as good as his, that the points MC made in the essay were intelligent and pertinent to the topic of their essay, and that they had no grammatical, spelling, or formatting mistakes, he nearly busted a nut right there in the classroom.

MC and Satan’s romantic relationship blossomed after the incident that occurred between MC and Lucifer in the underground tomb, and the pairing was (surprisingly) a healthy one. Satan looked out for MC and defended them whenever Lucifer was criticizing them (both in front of MC and behind their back), and MC helped Satan to not only discover his own identity outside of being Lucifer’s spawn and the Avatar of Wrath, but to accept the parts of him that didn’t fit into either one of those titles. While the sex wasn’t the type to be described in erotica, it was definitely full of love from both parties.

Satan and MC broke up on good terms a couple days after Lucifer mended MC’s hand. Due to the fourth demon brother’s relationship with Asmo, he knew that, even though MC did love Satan and enjoyed being in a romantic relationship with him, their heart truly belonged to Lucifer. While the old Satan would have hated MC (for falling for Lucifer) and Lucifer (for taking MC away from him), the ‘new’ Satan was at peace with the whole thing. If there was anyone that he would want to see MC happy with (that wasn’t him), it was Lucifer. Satan knew that, once the foundation was laid, Lucifer would care for MC just as deeply as he did. Plus, it would be weird for MC to continue dating him when they’re trying to start a relationship with someone who’s technically his dad.

Satan and MC can usually be found in a quiet corner of RAD or the House, studying, reading, writing, and/or debating (depending on the day). They enjoy each other’s company, and they’re able to bond over their love of learning and books. When the demon brothers were under the influence of the Gold Hellfire Newt Syrup and MC had to give each of them an order in order to them to snap out of it, MC had Satan kiss them on the cheek, figuring that it was intimate enough to break the spell the syrup had caused without creating an emotional mess.

Satan’s one of the few people in the Devildom that gets along with all three of the Vesuvian men, which is a huge relief for MC. MC finds the notebooks Satan has that document tales that he’s heard Julian, Asra, and Lucio told, and after skimming through the notes that the Avatar of Wrath has written in the margins, MC concludes that Satan has a crush on the three men. With Satan’s permission (for MC would have kept their mouth shut about the whole thing if Satan didn’t want the Vesuvian men to know that he has a crush on them), MC tells Asra, Lucio, and Julian about Satan’s feelings.

Bonus: Lucio’s the most surprised out of the three of them, for he had no idea that the most quiet demon brother felt that way about him. Unfortunately for Satan, Lucio does not feel the same. Julian’s flattered by Satan’s crush, and unlike Lucio, the plague doctor allows Satan to kiss him. However, once Julian and Satan pull away, Satan realizes that he has more feelings towards the idea of Julian and what Julian represents than Julian himself. And then there’s Asra. If Solomon and Lucio were the first Devildom/Vesuvia pairing to hook up, Asra and Satan are the second (although they might just become the first Devildom/Vesuvian couple). It’s almost like they needed MC’s permission in order to do anything sexual with each other...

Asmo: MC’s friend and the only brother they have not hooked up with. It always amazes people to find out that the Avatar of Lust hasn’t made any actual sexual advances towards MC, but it is indeed the truth. Sure, Asmo may say dirty things to MC, and he has given them a kiss or two on the lips, but he doesn’t feel the need to go further than that. Asmo’s perhaps the most sensitive when it comes to picking up his sin in other people, and so whenever MC feels turned on by something or someone, the fifth-eldest demon brother takes note.

The main thing that Asmo does for MC, besides inviting them to spa days and fancy events/parties/networking opportunities, is give them advice on their love life. Since MC is so nice to him throughout their Devildom stay, Asmo wants to return the favor, and he loves helping people, especially when it comes to romance. He was the one that got MC and Satan to sit down together and reveal their feelings for each other after the underground tomb incident, and he also acted like a mediator for Lucifer and MC, ultimately encouraging them to get over their nervousness and start going out with each other (once the situation with Belphie was resolved).

Upon finding out that MC knew the Vesuvian men, Asmo had a lot of questions. Is Julian straight? (no) Am I Julian’s type? (I don’t know) Could MC please ask Julian if I’m his type? (couldn’t you ask him yourself?) How about Asra? (he’s definitely not straight) Has MC witnessed the way Asra acts around me? (very flirty) Is he like that with everyone? (no) Does MC think that Asra’s trying to fuck me? (again, why don’t you ask him?) Is Lucio gay? (no, but he isn’t straight, either; not a whole lot of people in Vesuvia are) Does that mean that MC isn’t straight? (that would be correct) What’s the deal between Asra and Julian? (I believe they were lovers while I was here in the Devildom and they thought that I was dead) How was their relationship? (Toxic; Asra took advantage of Julian) Would Asra do that to me? (I don’t think so; he’s in a healthier place mentally) What about Asra and Lucio? (Lucio took Asra’s parents away from him during his dealings with the Devil) Diavolo?! (No, not Diavolo; a Major Arcana called the Devil)

Beel: MC’s friend with eventual benefits. Contrary to the popular belief that Beel is a giant meathead, he’s actually quite smart. Sure, he may not get the best grades in school, but if someone starts a philosophical conversation with him, he’s not only able to follow along but offer intelligent insights of his own. Some of this knowledge is due to the amount of time he spends with Belphie and (by proxy) Satan, but a lot of it is thanks to research he’s managed to do between eating, doing homework, and playing sports/working out. Philosophy interests the Avatar of Gluttony, particularly when it comes to that practiced in the human world. This is what ultimately piques MC’s interest in Beel, although his looks and offers of sharing and trying new food certainly doesn’t ruin things.

For a while, MC and Beel were perfectly content with being friends. But then the second aphrodisiac incident happened. The first was when the brothers ingested the Gold Hellfire Newt Syrup; the second (which is this writer’s headcanon) is when MC accidentally drinks one of Asmo’s beverages that happened to have an ingredient that made the average human consumer very, very horny (it was an honest mistake, really; how was MC supposed to know that a Devildom version of their favorite smoothie would have that kind of an effect on them?) Beel was the only one home with MC when the aphrodisiac started to affect them, and so he was the one they had to go to in order to get some kind of relief. And he did exactly that.

You see, another not-so-well-known fact about Beel (unless one happens to asks Asmo about it) is that he loves the taste of cum. It doesn’t matter where it comes from (both from an anatomical and racial (angel/demon/human) standpoint); the moment it hits his tongue, Beel’s going to consume as much of it as he possibly can. To put it simply, the Avatar of Gluttony’s ability to suck dick and eat pussy rivals Asmo (because of his sin) and Lucifer’s (because he’s the eldest). He can go for hours if one allows him to do so. For this reason, MC and Beel’s relationship turns sexual, although there’s a bit of a mental hang up for Beel when it comes to MC reciprocating. It’s not that MC’s not willing to return the favor; Beel just feels like the point of that part of their relationship is for him to give them pleasure.

Outside of the sexual context, Beel and MC can often be found in the twins’ room, the attic, the kitchen, the roof of the House, or RAD’s gym. The roof and gym are the only two places where the two of them can get some alone time, because Belphie frequently tags along when they hang out in the other places; the roof is where a lot of Beel and MC’s conversations about philosophy happen, and the gym is where they work out together (or at least at the same time, as a human is far too weak to do Beel’s workout). They’re not the closest pairing, but both of them like each other nevertheless.

The fact that MC knew the Vesuvian men didn’t quite register in Beel’s brain. Mainly, it didn’t make that much of a difference to him whether MC led two lives or not; he was just happy to be connected with MC. That is, until Julian starts telling him that he should let MC give him a blowjob at least once. The plague doctor doesn’t completely understand that Beel doesn’t feel the need to have MC do that for him. The sixth-born gets plenty of pleasure from MC’s pleasure, and that’s enough for him.

Belphie: MC’s side man. MC was initially hesitant to get close to Belphie after the incident in which he killed (an alternate version of) them, but when they saw that everyone else (minus Beel) was ignoring Belphie’s existence, their pity drove them to have at least one conversation with the Avatar of Sloth. Belphie caught on to MC’s pity pretty quickly during that conversation, but he liked the fact that someone besides his twin gave a shit about him, even if it’s the last person he would have expected to care.

One conversation turned into two, which eventually turned to them meeting in the planetarium at least once a week to look at the stars and talk about all kinds of things. The longer they meet, the more chemistry develops between them; this chemistry culminates one evening when, as MC was talking about an annoying demon in one of their classes, Belphie leans in and kisses them. This leads to a slow, sensuous make-out session that leaves both of them out of breath and a bit dizzy (but in a good way).

Belphie’s sexual nature is subdued but full of passion, and he knows exactly how to make MC melt under his touch pretty much from the get-go. If the walls of the planetarium could talk, it would reveal that MC and Belphie have fucked in just about every corner of the room. Sure, they still talk about life, but a good chuck of their time spent is devoted to sexual activities. One could say that their relationship evolves similarly to that depicted in “Beauty and the Beast”.

Belphie really doesn’t give a shit about MC having another life in Vesuvia, because sometimes it means having extra company (that isn’t Beel). Julian and Asra sometimes join MC and the Avatar of Sloth in the planetarium (99% of the time, it’s to simply talk, but there was an incident when Belphie, Julian, and Asra all took turns making out with MC, which made for a very interesting evening), and Lucio and Belphie’s occasional nap pile finds itself a third member in MC.

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thetypedwriter · 3 years

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Gideon the Ninth Book Review

Gideon the Ninth Book Review by Tamsyn Muir

It would be only a slight hyperbole to say that a million people have either recommended this book to me or have told me to read it. I’ve heard for years now that this book is incredible and extremely well written and beloved by many. So, if that’s the case why did I wait so long to read it?

I don’t have a good answer. Sometimes a book is on your radar, but either the time isn’t right, other books take priority, or in my case, it’s adult fiction and I held slight trepidation that I wouldn’t love it as much as everyone else in the world seemed to.

Thank goodness, that didn’t end up being the case and I’ll get into why in a moment.

First, Gideon the Ninth has the most amazing descriptive sentence belonging on any front cover of any book ever.

I shall put it here for prosperity and awe: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross.

Now, I don’t know who you are Mr. Stross, but that has to be the best sentence written in the English language since its conception. If that isn’t enough intrigue for you to crack open the novel then I truly don’t know what is or what it would take.

That being said, Mr. Stross wasn’t entirely accurate, but that’ll be clear soon enough.

The novel surrounds our main protagonist, Gideon Nav, or, known as Gideon the Ninth, the primary cavalier to the Ninth House necromancer. Essentially, this world takes place in a different solar system with its own sun star known as Dominicus as well as nine planets also known as the Nine Houses.

Each House has a specific specialty for what is known for, and as summarized helpfully, but also overwhelmingly, at the beginning of the novel, the Ninth House is also known as the keepers of the Locked Tomb, House of the Sewn Tongue, and home to the Black Vestals.

This meant nothing to me at the beginning and quite truthfully, I still struggled to remember throughout the novel who belonged to the Third House, or the Fifth and what that quite meant, as once again, each House has a reputation and expected skill set that precedes them.

Not to say that it was poorly written because it wasn’t. Muir just has a lot of characters with specific titles and while she actually does quite a good job of categorizing them and helpfully reminding you who is who, I still struggled with just the sheer amount of information and people.

Normally, this would be a massive criticism, like it was with the cast of characters in Lore but in this case it’s not Muir’s fault. She’s giving me all the information necessary to understand. It was just my brain that struggled trying to recognize and categorize everyone. If anything, I’m excited to re-read Gideon the Ninth and have it sink in like a second skin eventually.

Having this large cast of characters, the book revolves around each of the Nine Houses (except for the First House) sending their best necromancer, a wielder of both thanergy (death energy) and thalergy (life energy) in the form of a House Adept, someone who is able to wield this kind of energy either in bone magic, flesh magic, or spirit magic.

In accompaniment, each Necromancer Adept has a primary Cavalier, a trained fighter that is both protector, companion, and often, necessary energy suppliers to their Adept in both horrendous and acceptable ways.

The goal of these pairs, having been sent to the First planet, is to become a Lyctor, an immortal servant to the Undying Emperor. The catch is that once the Necromancers and their Cavaliers arrive on the First, the shuttle departs and they are trapped in an abandoned, dilapidated, once-regal and great mansion that boasts hundreds of floors, secret doors, and mystery upon mystery.

Each pair expects a streamlined process to Lyctorhood once they arrive, a methodical procedure, perhaps some training, and ultimately a test. What they don’t expect is a mellow man by the name of Teacher that claims to know nothing about the process himself, but is the overseer of the First.

What follows is a mind-boggling search to become a Lyctor and unravel the mysteries of the haunted palace. What the pairs don’t expect is the death of their own, gruesome murders at the hand of someone in their very own positions and an evil danger beyond any of their imagination lurking in the mansion.

This novel was a great concoction of mystery, action, interpersonal relationships, character growth, dazzling descriptions, and world building.

The world of Dominicus and the Nine Houses is expansive and rich, something that I haven’t been able to sink my teeth into, and not for lack of trying, but because it is so deep and so layered that I simply need to take several bites to get it all down.

The mystery is fulfilling and strangely, to me at least, reminiscent of a game called Danganronpa. If you know what that is, and even if you don’t, it centers around the idea of a murder mystery, but where the killer is one of your own and the mystery is trying to figure out not ony the who, but the why of what they are doing, amongst a slew of other deadly riddles.

Gideon the Ninth is the same. As people continue to get picked off and brutally murdered, as a reader you find yourself trying to puzzle out not only who, but why someone would commit such atrocities and the motivation behind it.

The plot itself of Gideon the Ninth was extremely satisfying and alluring. There were times where I personally found that novel bogged down with excessive description, but it was usually broken up with Gideon’s personal brand of crass humor, a very much needed breather with the expansive exposition, that, while extremely well done, well researched, and well written, did get a tad boring from time to time for me personally, even if it allowed for clear imagery as well as adding to already well formed world building.

In addition to the plot, all of the characters were well done and as fleshed out as they could be considering the amount of characters involved. First, even though this is set in a fantasy sci-fi setting, each of the characters seemed realistic and like they could potentially be real people.

A large criticism of books I often have, especially in YA, is that the characters often come across like caricatures, and not real flesh and blood humans with both positive and negative qualities.

Each character, some developed more than others, have both flaws and strengths, even the main characters, which I highly appreciated. Not only does it make the story more real and palatable, but it also is just more interesting to read about as it’s actually based in humanity and the nature of human beings rather than some perfect carbon copy of one.

Gideon as a narrator was hilarious. She was often crass, blunt, horny, humorous and ignorant. But on the other hand, she was also an extremely talented fighter, actually very sweet deep down, forgiving, and loving.

This mix in a main character was a welcome one in addition to making Gideon feel like a real person, despite all the bone magic and necromancy, and often her thought process and dialogue made me laugh out loud.

Another main character, Harrowhark Nonagesimus (What a name!) is Gideon’s Necromancer and main companion. She’s bitter, rude, spiteful, and ruthless. She’s also hardworking, intelligent, and stubborn.

If you’re catching the pattern here, Muir isn’t just writing archetypes and passing them off as characters. She’s writing complex and nuanced personalities that are intriguing and interesting and well developed.

I could get into the other plethora of characters like Camila, Dulcinea, Palamedes, Magnus, Judith and so on, but this review would be a thousand pages long so I’ll just settle for saying that every character was well done and lovingly crafted and not one of them, even the annoying ones, were characters that I hated.

One important thing to note was Muir’s writing itself. It was incredible. Such descriptions! Such characterization! Such detail! Such vocabulary! I was supremely impressed with her writing as a whole and often found myself having to look up words that I had never heard of in my life (always a welcome change of pace). I was blown away by her sheet talent and creativity.

The last two things I have to note might get me in trouble.

One, the ending for me was...bittersweet. For fear of spoiling someone, I won’t get into details, but I found it both lacking and simultaneously making absolute sense. I wanted both more and yet, found that everything was just enough. It’s hard to put into words, but if you know, you know.

I do have a slightly sinking feeling though that the ending twist will somehow be undone in the sequel. I don’t know if this is true (although I will eventually find out), and I can’t decide if I’m going to be happy or dismayed by it.

Such conflicting feelings are in of itself homage to Muir’s skill as a writer and the complexities of her tale.

Lastly, the one aspect that might get me into the stickiest of predicaments: Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship. I don’t know if I like it or not. On the one hand, I absolutely love it. It's a hate-to-love slow burn, which really is the only way an OTP makes its way into my heart. I love that they’re so different and yet so compatible, one flesh and one blood and all that other nonsense.

They see each other as equals, as adversaries, and I adore that dynamic in any pairing. I also love the F/F representation of some badass women and that they’re not traditionally attractive and beautiful.

One of my favorite lines came from the end of the book where Gideon describes Harrowhark’s face as, “bitter” and “hateful”. I just love when characters aren’t conventionally gorgeous and yet beautiful in the eyes of the beholder and all that jazz.

Now. Onto the problems.

Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship is kinda...toxic? It grows into something less so, but it definitely starts off that way. I really hate imbalances of power of any kind and Harrowhark definitely has power over Gideon, power that she creully abuses. I asked myself: if Harrowhark was a man and treated Gideon so abysmally for years, and then Gideon eventually forgave him and loved him despite everything, would I think differently?

And the answer is yes, yes I would.

Is that fair? Probably not. But I can’t help but think how the dynamics change with the two of them being women, and how in my opinion, I think more is forgiven of Harrowhark because of it, even when it’s not deserved.

Now, Harrowhark is a complex character and has traumas of her own, but I just can’t help but think of all the things she did to Gideon and the things she took away from her and forced her to do and then think of them together and it’s...not great.

Overall, my feelings on their relationship are complicated (which is a repeated pattern when it comes to Muir’s writing) and I don’t mind that it’s complicated, it makes it interesting, but I also would be bereft to mention it here. I look forward to seeing how it develops and if my feelings change and grow on the matter as well.

In total, Gideon the Ninth is a fantastic read. It has everything you want inlaid with characters who not only push the plot along, but incentivize you to read more. It has complicated issues and complicated characters, but that means it’s nuanced and complex and juicy enough to bite into.

Don’t do what I did and wait years for this novel. If you need a good read, you don’t need to look any further and then let yourself be swept along for the necromantic ride.

Recommendation: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. I mean. Come on people, what more can you ask for?

Score: 8/10

#gideon the 9th #gideon the ninth #tamsyn muir #harrowhark nonagesimus #adult fiction #book blog #book review #Book Recommendations #book rec #favorite books #LGBTQ fiction #lgbtqbook #F/F books #F/F romance #8/10

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 2 years

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3, 6, 8, 20? :3

HI HELLO THANKS I LOVE YOU:

Referencing This Post:

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

For the amount of time the “Feathers Son Forcibly Lion-Naps Jorge Before Oasis Puts Him Down And The Kazans Adopt Him As Lion!Grandpa, And He Lives Out His Days Gardening And Napping In Sunbeams And Enjoying Birdkid Company” idea(s) have been kicking around in my brainpan, it’s criminal that I haven’t actually written them down?? I want it to be in Jorge’s POV, which would be exciting and uncharted territory for me, and I’ve muttered bits of the dialogue to myself on so many walks, and I just…haven’t….written it yet. (This comes after the Alces-Napping bits in Alces’ POV that I HAVE written—Alces becomes the First Honorary Birdkid, Alces acquires a Fambly™ and is Safe, Alces learns to knit, Alces knits Jorge So Many Sweater Vests, Alces and Jorge become Best Bros Also, it’s so fluffy and fucking adorable. I have not written anything beyond “Alces wants to learn to knit”—more criminal charges for my writer life.)

In completely unrelated news: I would also like to write a short story about a very polite nonbinary assassin beekeeper. I don’t know anything about writing short stories, but I think it’ll be fun!!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

OH NO HELP I HAVE SO MANY!!!

Lucius is obviously a fave (I think it’s because I can get such a Broad Spectrum of Options with him—it has all the fluff potential, and all the action potential, and all the funny potential, and also all the Suffering potential, in so many different ways, and he’s gone through so many canons since his inception that it doesn’t bug me to write him into AUs of himself, and he handles the AUs well even when he knows they're happening—he just sighs and rolls with it. Also, y’know: Bewinged, and he’s a little shit, and I love that for both of us).

I have very been enjoying writing Rell, recently, because she’s awful and hilarious. Other honorable mentions: I miss Hazard? And Sonos. (Hazard and Sonos are fun to write from an Outside POV, because they’re very competent.) I also adore Alicia and Carissa specifically in conversation/conflict, because it’s like jousting (with frenemyship love).

My problem is actually Too Many Faves, Not Enough Time, apparently—this is what I get for making my guiding writing philosophy “What’s Most Fun?” XD

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Honestly…yes? Apparently? I’m big into sci-fi and weird speculative stuff that blurs genre lines, and I read a lot of heavy/dark/violent shit but I need it to also be Hilarious—the balance of intensity and humor is a must for me (I don’t want to catch any feelings if I’m not gonna laugh a few pages later). The Locked Tomb and the Murderbot Diaries are prime examples.

In my writing, I definitely list toward sci-fi and weird speculative stuff, and a bunch of it gets, um. Dark, or Heavy, or Violent (lol oops? I swear I don’t set out to write these things, it just Happens), and I’m not saying everything I write is hilarious, but I have more fun with MCs who have a sense of humor. I’ve also recently been on this kick of playing with Form and Structure (Driscoll hopefully will read like a nightmare loop, and Rell is….a shipwreck….of iterative tellings), and I enjoy books that do that too! Harrow the Ninth blew my mind, and This is How You Lose the Time War was a delight.

(Oh, also: Body horror is always nice. I blame Animorphs, but…will seek out other body horror also, and write a bit of it, too *sweats in nonbinary*.)

Basically, I think: I like the things that I like, both in reading and in writing! Can’t get enough of that shit anywhere, apparently XD

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Ooooh I could go on about all these Forever!! I shall limit myself to two (2), and they shall be restricted mostly to Rell-evant things (because I’m sposed to be inputting edits rn XD):

First: Recurring hidden reference/Easter egg is Welcome Corbitt, My Favorite Asshole!! (This answer brought to you by: I just worked through his appearance in Rell’s story lol.) If you see a shady dude in a colorful suit being an arrogant prick, either as a background presence or (poor Driscoll) as a minor character doing ~Something~ in the story, it’s Welcome, and he’s probably up to no good XD He’s been in everything I’ve written since Average! And I intend to keep putting him in everything, for crossover purposes, should I want that to be a Canon Thing (instead of just a headcanon/side canon thing, which is where all the Welcome stuff currently resides. (I wrote a whole-ass book of Welcome stuff, crossing over my oldest faves!) I do not yet know his Larger Nefarious Purpose, but dammit he has one)!!

Second: I’m delighted by the conch shell idea/symbolism in Rell, right now? It’s not threaded as seamlessly as I want it to be yet, but, hey: it’s only a second draft lol. It’s a fucking perfect metaphor for, one, how she’s telling this story (spiraling iterations, echoing each other and retold on slightly different scales every time) and, two, her fucking armor (metaphorical also)(…maybe I should give Rell real armor, as a Treat). I really want to put conch shell in the title somewhere, but I also really want to put Tide Locked in the title, and I suck at titles and can’t figure out how to put them together (can’t just be Locked Tides and Conch Shells, I don’t think, because we’re mostly talking about a singular Tide and Tide locking is the specific name of the magic, and Tide Locked in a Conch Shell sounded stupid to me, and titles are the bane of my existence. I am taking Suggestions™). Anyway: CONCH SHELL IS THE BEST METAPHOR I’VE HAD FOR A BOOK SO FAR AND I’M STOKED ABOUT IT.

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longsightmyth · 5 years

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Myth Reads The Naming, Chapter 19

This chapter is, at fourteen pages, technically the fourth shortest chapter in The Naming, but only because two chapters have thirteen pages. This means fewer Throne of Glass chapters, for which I am thankful.

PELLINOR

So Hem has had a pretty grim life, starting, as far as he knows, with his delivery to a really terrible orphanage by a hull. One day he was called up and told that his uncle had finally gotten back from wherever and was taking him home. His ‘uncle’ wasn’t great but he wasn’t awful either unless one takes into account the fact that there were five hulls around at all times.

Said hulls eventually tried to get him to commit human sacrifice but Hem wouldn’t do it, so they locked him in a room and starved him, which was when Sharn broke into the house to steal stuff and found a Pilanel boy locked in a room. Obviously, he busted him out. I’ll talk about that in the comparison.

So they ran, and eventually the hulls caught up to them. Hem told Sharn he heard them coming earlier, but Sharn didn’t believe him, so Hem hid. The hulls tortured Sharn, who for a while said they’d sold Hem but eventually broke down and admitted that he’d run away recently, and the hulls killed everybody anyway.

Which is, of course, when Maerad and Cadvan found Hem. Since Hem mentioned that Sharn also stole some stones, Cadvan asks to see them. Hem is curiously possessive of the medallion he wears, but when Cadvan has no interest in that he forks over the stones.

They are basically mini-palantir, I guess? They let people with the corresponding partner stone hear and sometimes see what’s going on. Thankfully Maerad’s magic fire blasts blanked them out, but we know why our heroes were so easy to find earlier. Cadvan tosses the stones away and jokingly forgives Hem for almost getting them killed.

Sometimes Cadvan has a questionable sense of humor, honestly.

Anyway, then he asks to see the medallion, and Hem reluctantly lets him, at which point Cadvan goes very quiet.

“What?” demanded Maerad, after the silence had lengthened unbearably. Hem was watching them both with a mixture of bafflement and despair.

Cadvan didn’t respond at first. “Maerad,” he said at last. “Do you remember your father very well?”

Oh yeah, folks. We’re going there. Cadvan further presses, asking if Maerad remembers what Dorn looked like, whether she actually saw her brother Cai killed or not, etc. The medallion has the symbol of Pellinor on it, and it says on the back in the speech, “The House of Karn. Minelm made me.”

Cadvan starts considering both of them and their physical similarities, and he and he concludes that they could be brother and sister. Hem is the right age, and the hulls kept him around for a reason, after all.

Maerad is less cautious, declaring that Hem is definitely her brother, she can feel it, that’s why she had to go find him, etc.

“...I remember Dorn, Maerad; and Hem is unmistakably Pilanel. It would explain why the hulls were interested in him. But I might be wrong.”

“You’re not often wrong,” said Maerad with a wry smile, echoing something he had said to her long ago in Innail.

“No.” Cadvan smiled very slightly. “I am not often wrong. Mind you, when I have been wrong, I’ve been very wrong indeed.”

Sometimes Cadvan’s humor is spot on, though.

Anyway, Cadvan surmises that the hulls knew about the prophecy but grabbed the wrong kid. He tells ‘you Pellinor folk’ to nap and he’ll keep watch, since he couldn’t sleep with his headache anyway. Maerad tries and can’t, remembering Cadvan on the ground and how she’d felt about killing things after.

Darsor returns about an hour after that, Imi in tow. After Darsor imparts some encouraging words for Maerad and Cadvan, Imi comes up and apologizes for running, and Maerad tells her it was good that she did. Cadvan further assures her that there is no shame in running from what are essentially demons.

They ride some more. I know you’re shocked.

The chapter ends when they crest a hill and can see Norloch.

THRONE OF GLASS

Thirteen pages in two chapters y’all I can do this.

Apparently Cain has been getting better not because he trains every day but because he summons dark powers. He calls out a ridderak. I’m sure the ridderak has actually been mentioned before but honestly I can’t be bothered to check right now.

It was something out of an ancient god’s nightmares. Its hairless gray skin was stretched tightly across its misshapen head, displaying a gaping mouth full of black fangs.

Fangs that had ripped out and eaten Verin and Xavier’s internal organs; fangs that had feasted on their brains. Its vaguely human body sank onto its haunches, and it sl;id its long front arms across the stone floor. The stones whined under the claws. Cain raised his head and stood slowly ad the creature knelt before him and lowered its dark eyes. Submission.

I’m not saying that there was a perfectly good place to use Sarah Janet’s trademark ‘those’ instead of ‘the’ in there, but I’m not not saying it either. Also, I still don’t remember which serial killer was which in regards to Verin and Xavier. I forgot Xavier existed, so.

Anyway, Cain says it wasn’t supposed to be Celaena tonight but she’s who he’s got, so Celaena whimpers at him and draws her absolutely useless knife monstrosity, which Cain promptly relieves her of on his way out the door. Honestly, good riddance.

Celaena screams a lot and eventually runs through the secret passages, eventually making it to Elena and Gavin’s tomb, where she snags Damaris, which is a sword that becomes sort of important later. I mean, kinda. Look, I don’t know, sometimes in Kingdom of Ash Dorian uses it to find out if people are telling really obvious lies because Sarah Janet decided she needed a sword of truth up in here in the last book.

Anyway, she kills the ridderak, marking the first time Celaena has won a fight on-page and unassisted, I think, but it bit her along the way. She walks back to her rooms and then collapses, suddenly overcome by the venom. Nehemia finds her and does something and Celaena falls fully unconcious while being rocked gently by Nehemia in a bathtub.

I’m not saying you should ship it, but like. **makes Will Smith present-y hands**

Anyway, that’s the end of chapter 42. Next chapter.

Celaena wakes up to see Nehemia waiting in a chair by her bedside. It has only been three hours, but Celaena feels entirely healed. After some prodding from Nehemia, Celaena confesses her true identity (of course we (and actually Nehemia, come to think of it) are, per later book retcons, aware that it isn’t actually her true identity. More on that in the discussion). Nehemia is upset that Celaena didn’t tell her, but eventually says that Celaena is impressive because,

“...you did not let the mines harden you; you did not let it shame your soul into cruelty.”

Methinks Nehemia speaks more out of hope than actual evidence, because Celaena is a petty, cruel brat who thinks only of murder and her own self-interest at the moment who upgrades to thinking of conquering other nations ‘to spread culture’ later. Nehemia also names her ‘Elentiya’, which means ‘spirit that could not be broken.’ We all loved Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Sarah Janet, I get it. Possibly Nehemia is operating on the assumption that naming a thing determines the character of the thing. Sorry, Nehemia, I know you tried.

Celaena decides to tell Nehemia how she ended up as Adarlan’s Assassin when Nehemia asks, and that’s how we end the section but not the chapter.

Celaena admits next section that she didn’t tell Nehemia everything, because we must still Not Know that Celaena is actually a princess. We have to Not Know very hard at this point, because that’s just the kind of book Throne of Glass is. Also Celaena refused to tell Nehemia about what bit her, so basically everything is pointless.

Chaol needles her about dancing with Dorian, Celaena reflects that she killed the ridderak so the darkness is lifted from the castle, I despair.

Later they spar, and Chaol says he saw her reading poetry, which he thought she didn’t like. She says epic poetry is different because it’s not pretentious. As a fellow hater of poetry, I have to say that I agree, re: enjoyment but must note that it is Celaena who comes off as pretentious here. Anyway they round a corner and she sees the unnamed King of Adarlan and it’s presented as a dramatic reveal but like. You live in his castle, Celaena. He’s a public figure. He’s going to be around.

COMPARISON

Celaena remains a bratty twelve-year old confident in her abilities until faced with anything that might make her prove them. What else is new.

Well. I guess the idiot ball got bigger. The dude who summoned the monster is still out and about but sure the darkness in the castle has been defeated. That makes sense. (Celaena does nothing without being shoved into it, by the way: she has to be sent places by Elena, who she doesn’t ask for help, she has to be shown with actual glowing neon signs the monster that eats things, and then she has to be locked in the catacombs with it to fight it? Y’all. If she wants to rule a country later she should really display some initiative.)

Meanwhile Maerad and Hem/Cai get to be brother and sister, and since names are inherently tied into the narrative by way of bardic names already being important to the story, the fact that Hem will continue throughout the series to prefer being called Hem over Cai is an interesting twist on the later Celaena, who thinks that because she tells everybody to call her Aelin she’s an entirely different person.

Also of note is that both chapters contain human sacrifice, though Hem says that he wouldn’t kill the other boy with so little fanfare that it rounds the corner into having us go duh. I mean that in a good way: it is presented as so much the common-sense choice that it lets us the readers understand a core component of Hem. He can’t be evil. He refuses to be evil. As a child who grew up hungry and starved, he still refused to kill somebody despite the threat and implementation of starvation. The narrative doesn’t wax rhapsodic about it, either. It’s just who Hem is.

Similarly, no one waxes rhapsodic about Sharn, though I might here for a moment. Here’s a guy who broke into a lord’s house to steal valuables, found a starved little boy in a room, and said, ‘okay there is no way I’m leaving this kid here’ and stole him from evil magicians. Pellinor has a mindset and purpose of execution similar to Lord of the Rings: small, kind actions eventually cascade into larger, world-saving actions. Sometimes small good deeds are all you can do, but that’s okay. Small good deeds lead to more small good deeds and eventually the scales tip.

That only works, though, when small good deeds are the only good deeds available to you. Celaena giving Kaltain a cloak in Crown of Midnight, for instance, doesn’t tip the scales much, because Celaena is capable of so much more, and has shown it by faking the deaths of all of the (male, for the record) targets given to her by the king and helping them make their escape. That she chooses to only give Kaltain a cloak, when she is completely aware that Kaltain is regularly raped by both the guards and Perrington, when Kaltain has been consistently wronged by the same people as Celaena, is more of an example of performative compassion instead of, like, actual help. I’m just saying. Further, the whole reverent ‘she gave Ansel one extra minute before shooting at her’ is nonsense. She should have just not shot at Ansel. That would have been an act of compassion. Nobody was holding her to it. There wasn’t any sort of magical compulsion. Celaena performs the most tepid of merciful acts, and the book portrays them as Glorious Acts of Defiance and everyone is in awe over her forgiving nature. She says she doesn’t believe in slavery but never bothers to condemn it in any stronger language. I’m tired of it. I’ve been tired of it. Comparing it to The Books of Pellinor just makes me more tired of it.

In short, I despair.

STATS

Throne of Glass:

Pages: 13

Fragments: 14

Em-Dashes: 34

Ellipses: 7

Pellinor:

Pages: 14

Fragments: 6

Em-Dashes: 4

Ellipses: 12

#myth reads the naming #myth reads the books of Pellinor #myth rags on throne of glass #myth talks

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lady-snow-flower · 2 years

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Letters To: Summer / Letters from Xuemei’s Past

Read here!

Listen along!

A/N: “Letters To” will be my backstory project for Snow, and in theory I should write four parts in total. This is the first part, and I’ve worked on it a long, long time, on and off-- basically since I began conceptualizing Snow back in September. I felt shy about posting what I had for many reasons (like it felt really random to?? shouldn’t i have a reason?? shouldn’t i get even FARTHER into the project??), but figured the musical task was a great opportunity to craft a soundtrack to go along with the first part of this project. This feels especially fitting because, for me, Snow really did start coming together when I put together her playlist.

In fact, for a bit there, I struggled to find her voice! It’s important to me before I get a character to write something with them. With Snow, I had written about 1000 words and it hadn’t exactly...clicked. Despite that, I felt her intensely. I had scenes lined up in my brain, scenes I was so so excited to write, many inspired by music. Why couldn’t I write it!!!

Then it hit me-- Snow’s trauma meant that it was just...very hard for me to access that part of her in my most comfortable writing style (3rd person limited/close). I’ve always loved this writing style because it lets me be more descriptive and figurative in my language than a character might be, while also using stylized language, but it just wasn’t clicking here. I got the idea to try something really UNnatural for me: 1st person.

But not any 1st person lol. Epistolary 1st person. I’ve loved epistolary novels since I was young, and with Snow, I got to know her humor, her relationship with her parents, and the things she wanted to divulge, in HER way of telling it. It still wasn’t the complete story though, so that’s where I took inspiration from the Locked Tomb series I was reading at the same time (for Snow, actually lol), where part of it is told in 2nd person. These 2nd person POVs fill in the gap and cover the traumatic ground Snow wouldn’t let me cover. It gives her distance, but the reader closeness.

You know. In theory!

Sorry for rambling! I wanted to share the process this go around, and sort of explain why I felt like I had to put it on a Google Doc. The line breaks and different fonts (nothing too crazy I promise) are important to the epistolary experience. I really hope y’all read and enjoy it and it isn’t confusing!

Below are the songs with my thinking behind it. I really did try to think of it as a musical! DO NOT READ BELOW before u read the story unless you want spoilers!

eight (DooPiano Cover)

I’ve mentioned in tags, I’ve posted it I think twice...I consider ‘eight’ by IU to be Snow’s theme. It’s a song about grief, nostalgia, and yearning for better yesterdays-- a place you can no longer return to. My favorite line in it is ‘Forever is a sandcastle.’ However, I put on a cover. Why? Because musicals have overtures, of course! I can’t make a true overture so this was as good as I was going to get, but it sets the tone I want. And makes me cry.

The Florist (pekoe)

This song is an introduction to Snow and her character-- what’s going on and where she is now. We start Snow’s story right in the middle of it: post-death, post-affair, so this is giving the audience the backstory we need:

My heavy heart slumbered into a dream And my tears fed the emptiness that silenced me As I grew fond of eternal sleep A lady arose with inflorescent skin Picking daisies to plant on her body And wear on her sleeve

It points to what is coming next-- Snow’s travels away from her home and the life she knew: “I know it’s a big world out there.”

In terms of the story itself, this is the Prologue baby-- a farewell to her parents.

Flyweight love (Vienna Teng)

Ah, the TRAVEL song! Snow is leaving home! Set change! She lands in China! She is meeting new people! I like the upbeat nature of this song and the optimism within it because I think that’s where Snow begins her journey. I considered a lot of diff songs for this but I liked imagining this kind of montage on stage, Snow ‘meeting’ some people on her journey with their own stories and reasons for being Flyweight Loves.

Took a train to the stubborn coast Off-season towns half shuttered Said hello to the rising breeze Made a note of the setting sun

Dear Wormwood (The Oh Hellos)

Ah yes, the waking of Snow’s magic at night. This dramatic lil indie folk number I imagine happens as Snow gets up and finds the skeleton in the watch tower! I don’t have more to say, it’s really quite that simple. (Though I like that it’s sort of like an acknowledgment of her magic... which is the beginning of her arc, aka, learning about necromancy and embracing it.)

In a musical (ok i have more to say) in theory one would like the skeleton to come to life and share its story with the audience dont u think

I know who you are now I know who you are

Revenant (Anais Mitchell)

This is the scene where Ai gives Snow her first real lead-- that thread of hope that what’s happening to her doesn’t have to be a bad thing. She finds hope in a letter correspondence and so I liked that this song mentions letters and other old things and how they beckon the past forward. That’s what Snow is doing in a lot of ways: reviving a ‘lost’ art of necromancy. It’s so soft and delicate as well and I wanted the conversation to be warm and gentle for her.

Read your letters all again Coffee rings and a ballpoint pen Tear stains every now and then I remember what they meant

Traveling Song (Ryn Weaver)

Another traveling song!! I well, needed a transition from China to Ireland and this folksy Ryn Weaver song will do! Again, I just like the storytelling nature of it and it does what Flyweight Love does in capturing the liminal nature of travel. Snow is very much in a traveling state of mind u know-- she doesn’t have a home yet.

Nobody knows where they are going Oh, how we try to wrap our minds Over the edge of all our knowings Be it a bang or the divine Tip of my iceberg blues are showing I've never been one for goodbyes So, 'til I meet you there, I'm singing A traveling song to ease the ride And so you know, everywhere I roam I'll see you on the road

There Beneath (The Oh Hellos)

This song is technically about my favorite letters I got to write-- Snow getting into her necromancy!! She is learning how to “locate memory within an object” as well as “wake a bone up and remind it of its purpose”, two things which, in turn, help Snow grow as a person and rethink her entire outlook on the world, really. These were the scenes I was so excited about when I was conceptualizing Snow, and I’m still very happy with how it turned out. There beneath the willow tree I learned a lot about the way of things I learned that everything (the wind, the leaves) has breath inside They were pointing ever east To see the ever-turning aeon cease Their wills were ever bent on waiting with all their might

I know (I know) I know this There is beauty in the way of things

Secret Garden (IU)

This song is the song of Snow’s healing and most importantly, the introduction of Ottilie, Snow’s new friend. So yes, her getting to know Ottilie and feeling comfortable in her life here!! Ideally this one perhaps be a duet in a musical and I maybe should have gone to find a duet but I love these lyrics, IU’s soft voice, and the idea that friendship is a secret garden.

Forget the things of yesterday Everyone gets things slightly wrong There’s no such thing as a perfect person Look at me, filled with mistakes and loneliness

Feels like I’ve been born again After I met you From the moment you accepted My pitiful heart

Day by day, things will get better Now that you’re watching over me I must have strength, I must be happy Like a flower that bloomed late

Never Look Away (Vienna Teng)

But enough of that nice stuff, let’s get back to conflict!

This occurs during the scene when Snow first makes contact with a distressed soul and decides she should perform a seance. It’s her first seance. It doesn’t go well. This song is also about Snow really pushing the boundaries of her magic and testing her new beliefs. I love how dark and dramatic it is, and I imagine Snow could be singing to the ghost, but it’s also the ghosts singing to Snow to really wake up and face herself

So if you're out there in the cold I'll cover you in moonlight If you're a stranger to your soul I'll bring you to your birthright I want the storm inside you awoken now I want your warm bright eyes To never look away Don't you ever look away

To My Youth (BOL4)

But it isn’t the show stopper. This is the final song before the curtain closes! We are ending the first act, so to speak, in a terrible place, with an aching, soaring ballad. This is one of my favorite songs of all time, I’ve posted it SEVERAL times, I guess I just am desperate for people to listen to it and validate me idk lmfao.

But I like it because 1. it’s a letter to yourself, thus echoing the form of this project. 2. it ends so hopeful, with the singer saying they still want to be a “light in the world” and to find themself. It hurts me actually, as at the end, as the music softens, the singer really sympathizes with the younger version of themselves: “How painful must it have been? How high must my hopes have been?”

So yes I think about this at the end, Snow picking herself up. This probably happens right after the scene with Ottilie. ugh i like her a lot, my character.

#swyntask #music #story #about #mmmmmmmmmmm i wrote too mcuh on this im so sorry but i hope someone out there enjoys this

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kpopfanfictrash · 7 years

Text

Guardian (XVII)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jongdae / Baekhyun

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,595

Summary: You keep seeing the same guy everywhere you go. In the coffee shop, on the streets, in your philosophy class. It’s getting to the point where you think he’s stalking you - only to realize that maybe there’s something much more mysterious at play here. (AU: Jongdae is your guardian angel)

Lorian pushes himself to stand. “The prophecy refers to one like Noah,” he continues. The entire room is listening now. “Which does not mean of the same powers, but a child of both mortal and Archangel heritage. The prophecy cannot refer to one with powers like Noah, since the only Archangel capable of bestowing shadow sits before us. Trapped in human form, his punishment for creating that Nephilim.”

Jongdae stiffens, back tense although he still doesn’t look up.

“Jongdae cannot father any other Nephilim, since he is Fallen. And so,” Lorian smiles, meeting your horrified gaze. “This brings us to you, Y/N. Which Archangel are you descended from?”

The session turns to chaos.

Words fade, wavering as though heard underwater. An Archangel. You’re born of an Archangel. Though you stare at him, Jongdae doesn’t look back and when his gaze finally lifts, it’s filled with such despair that you instantly look away.

You can’t see him. Can’t think about him. The sight of his face makes your blood boil, insides twisting as you consider his lies. Or rather, omissions of truth. There’s been so many secrets, so many you feel dizzy. You’re descended from an Archangel. Jongdae is one. Or rather, he was one before falling. Your head spins with the realization of how many questions have gone unasked.

You don’t know Jongdae, not really. If Noah is Jongdae’s son, if he’s the reason he fell - you recall the legend Baekhyun told you. Noah was stopped not by the Altorium, but the Archangel who gave life to him. He was stopped by Jongdae then, who locked Noah in that tomb to save humanity. The way Baekhyun spoke made it seem as though this all took place hundreds, if not thousands of years ago. For the very first time, you consider Jongdae’s age.

The ground of the Trial room is red-brown stone, like the rest of the building. It reminds you of blood, spilled rust and steel while you struggle to control your anger. The emotion fights the drug in your veins, the haziness of your brain and when you look up, your eyes blaze.

An unknown energy surges through you and, before you can stop yourself, you’re out of the chair. You don’t know how, since it’s too hard to think rationally right now. Fury burns your body, wrapping your thoughts, twisting your mind. You see spots of anger while your hands tremble before you.

There’s silence. Or maybe there’s chaos but you hear none of it. All around you people are moving, running – either to or from you, you’re unsure. Tossing out your hand, you freeze the first row of the arena. Baekhyun is frozen, eyes panicked and wide. Next, you freeze the left. Striding forward as they stay motionless. Stuck, like flies in honey as you teleport to Jongdae.

“Liar,” you hiss, voice catching. You wish so badly you had Telekinesis. Wish you could break Jongdae out but you physically reach for him instead, pushing him by the throat against the metal of his seat. “Liar,” you choke out, the entire world blurring.

He doesn’t move. Jongdae’s gaze is dark, empty as his head falls against his chair. “Y/N,” he croaks, the face mask loosened by your hold. “Please. Listen to –“

Something sharp plunges into your neck. You falter, tumbling sideways as your gaze meets Chanyeol’s. His eyes are wide, apologetic while catching your fall.

After that, silence.

There’s no one in your room when your eyes open. No one but you. There aren’t bars on your door, just a solid metal slab that makes your stomach sink. You’re not getting past that. Not unless you teleport and when you reach for your powers, you find nothing.

An internal wall blocks any notion of escape. You see it then - the needle. A steady drip of Devil’s Ivy flowing straight to your veins. When you swallow, you find your lips are parched. You have no idea how long you’ve been out, but you assume several hours. It must be, from the pain in your neck.

Both your wrists are tied. Forced behind your back, which stretches your shoulders at odd angles. There’s no bed in this room, only the chains and your body. It appears your outburst came with consequences and very slowly, you stretch your legs. At least these are mobile, the one part of you which hasn’t been restricted.

Struggling to keep sane, you check the rest of your body. Wriggling fingers, rolling your head to each side. Beyond general soreness and bruising – you appear to be okay.

Which means you now have nothing to consider but the Trial. Jongdae’s identity, and this nameless destiny you’ll soon face. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? The Altorium think this prophecy is true. That you’re destined to either save or raze them – which, they’re unsure.

Right now, you’re not sure yourself.

Then there’s also Yixing. When you met him, you asked if he was descended from Michael. Yixing was livid at your question, furious but he did not deny it. Which means that Yixing is also the son of an Archangel. And if he is – your face pales. The prophecy could also be about him.

Your head falls against the wall. There are so many unanswered questions. So many, and the one person who can answer is the one person you don’t want to talk to right now. Over and over, you ask yourself if you’re right in this anger. Jongdae is your Guardian. Likely, he thought he was protecting you by keeping things a secret. By hiding who you were until you could handle it – but then, time seems to be the one thing you don’t have.

This is all happening now. The Council thinks there’s a time limit, a date when this destiny will come to pass. If this is so, and Jongdae knew – he should have told you. He should have explained things, it’s unforgivable that he didn’t.

Lowering your head, you exhale. You’re lying to yourself – what Jongdae has done is not unforgivable. Not if he was just your Guardian, not if he were just your watcher. If that were so you’d disagree with Jongdae, but you’d at least understand. Jongdae must do as he sees fit, for humanity.

The only problem is, you don’t see him as just that.

You love Jongdae. Love him and are unable to run from this any longer. Only love could explain your outburst, the raw, untapped emotion you felt. The anger which burst from you, throwing you from your chair. You love Jongdae, and he continues to lie to you.

Jongdae’s face flashes before your eyes, the expression haunted and tense. You wish you could hear what he has to say – why he lied to you about all this. Jongdae said he didn’t know who your angelic parentage. A lie, unless he just doesn’t know which Archangel you’re descended from. But still, a big thing to leave out.

Then there’s Noah being Jongdae’s son. You’re still not sure how you feel about this. It explains a lot, actually. It explains why Jongdae never says Noah’s name, why he gets upset every time you talk about him. Explains why he couldn’t bring himself to tell you Noah’s full story and for a moment, you pity him. For a moment your compassion is greater than your anger and you can’t help but feel sad for the fallen angel.

Jongdae, the Angel of Death. The unscrupulous decider of fate itself, torn apart by a human. He must have been so ashamed, so at war with himself for falling for a charge. Rather like – you swallow, realizing – rather like how he’s fallen for you. It’s not just that Jongdae is your Guardian which holds him back. It’s not just his moral code, that he feels this is wrong.

You’re a reminder. A reminder of the reason he was cast out of heaven in the first place. Of his son, a product of love, who killed his mother and nearly wiped out the rest of humanity. Jongdae was forced to trap Noah himself. Trap him in a tomb, the only living reminder of the women he loved so that the rest of humanity live.

An ache enters your chest as you wonder how you can ever get past this. Finally you understand, finally you know the truth but knowing does not make things any easier. It only makes things harder, because you know now the obstacles you’re up against.

The kind of hurt Jongdae experienced, the kind of guilt he feels – it’s a hard thing to forget.

A key turns in your door.

Your knees draw inwards, an unthinking attempt at righting yourself. You fail, limbs trembling insubordinately beneath you. Breath quickening when the door swings open to reveal a long, thin frame. Lorian.

He softly closes the door behind him. “Hello,” he murmurs, inclining his head.

You remain silent, looking up with clear hatred in your eyes.

Lorian chuckles. “I would offer you a seat but,” he trails off, gesturing loosely. When you don’t respond, he laughs. “Not the humorous type, I see.”

“I’m humorous,” you mutter, coughing once, “when I’m not being kidnapped and held against my will.”

Rather than respond to this, Lorian takes a step forward. “I actually didn’t want you to be held here at all,” he informs, voice serious.

At this, you blink. “What?”

“No,” Lorian muses, shaking his head. “I wanted you to die, rather than risk the end of civilization as we know it.”

Well. When he puts it like that – it makes you shift uncomfortably against the wall. “But,” you pause. “Isn’t there a chance I could save humanity, also?”

Lorian’s eye twitches. “If by save you mean ridding the world of Noah – we’ve already done that. He’s safely locked away in whatever prison that former Archangel placed him in. The only real danger now is your existence.”

Lorian doesn’t say anything about Yixing, and it’s this that makes you shut your mouth.

“The Altorium is divided,” Lucian continues. “You saw that today. It’s been fifteen long years since we banned killing Nephilim, so it’s controversial of me to suggest otherwise.”

Hearing this from him is surreal, as though you’ve just been told the sky is yellow or sun blue. It just doesn’t make sense, so you stare. “You what?”

“I see,” Lorian considers you. “You did not know. It makes sense,” he muses, almost to himself. “If the Fallen didn’t want you in our hands, the most logical thing would be to say we’ll kill you outright.”

Searching his face, it doesn’t appear Lorian is lying. There’s no nervous tic to his body, his expression clear, yet bored.

“But Baekhyun,” you croak. “Baekhyun thought you did. He found it unusual he was asked just to bring me in.”

One of Lorian’s eyebrows lifts. “He told you that?”

Your heartbeat stills. Stopping, even as your muddled thoughts whirl for a plan. “In Department Exes,” you breathe. “During the torture. He told Ke – someone he was not Nephilim. Explained what he was trying to do when we were both kidnapped. I was also in the room.”

Lorian seems to consider this. “Hm. Baekhyun is special, though.”

A smile twists your lips. “Aren’t we all.”

“Baekhyun more so than most,” Lorian says, a faint smile on his face.

“So he can jump far. So what?” You’re baiting him, you know that and Lorian’s grey eyes flash with anger.

“He is so much more than just that,” he hisses, bending so his face is inches away. “Baekhyun is my special project. He is a new generation of warriors, those bred to hunt Nephilim because he partly is one.”

This makes no sense to you and you stare. “Part,” you repeat, shaking your head. “What – how?”

Lorian slides his thumb against his forefinger. “Y/N,” he muses, eyes dancing. “Have you ever had a blood transfusion?”

You flinch, hating your name on his lips. “No.”

“Lucky. Well, if you’d had one – you’d know that mere transfusion of the blood is unlikely to alter genetic tests significantly. It may linger for a few days, even a few weeks, but ultimately human red blood cells have no nucleus – no DNA.”

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask, even as his eyes meet yours.

“Because you are not human, Y/N,” Lorian snaps, his gaze cold. “You are Nephilim and the blood of angels runs in your veins. It’s different than humans, more dominant. To transfuse a patient with your blood, over and over – it creates something like Baekhyun.”

Bile rises in your stomach. “You,” you gasp, unable to comprehend. “You did that to him. You forced Baekhyun to become this – why would you do that?”

Lorian merely shrugs. “I see both humans and vampires in my line of work. What’s a little blood gone missing.“ At your horror, he smiles. “Baekhyun was young, he doesn’t remember it. After though, I kept him close. Raised him as my own – he was kept isolated from the rest of the Altorium because of this. Constantly sent on missions, the like. I gave him only kill orders so that he would grow up hating Nephilim. Hating the shedim.”

“Shedim?”

“Demons. My,” Lorian laughs, shaking his head. “Jongdae left out quite a lot, didn’t he? Although,” he pauses. “Shedim are rare. Normally Altors arrive first – they’re not often a problem for you angels.”

It’s too much information. Too much for him saying all this to be normal and your stomach abruptly drops. “Why are you telling me this?” you whisper.

Lorian tilts his head to one side. “After your little display this afternoon, I have enough support from the Council. You are not reliable. It’s too risky to bet you will help us. Our ban for killing Nephilim will be lifted, temporarily so.”

Baekhyun’s words play through your mind – to stay calm. Don’t let the Council incite you. You played right into Lorian’s hands. He’s used your outburst, your temper against you. You can’t be trusted as their savior and so you’re their enemy.

Though you strain against your bonds, it’s no use. “No,” you gasp, since that’s all you can do. “You can’t do this. It’s wrong. Others will see that.”

“Perhaps.” Lorian turns away. “But by then it will be too late. I don’t intend on wasting time, losing momentum. You will be executed at sundown.” Pushing open your door, he turns to look at you. “I am sorry,” he says, gaze devoid of emotion. “I am only looking out for our race. The human race. What is one death, compared to billions?”

“See,” you breathe. “That is the difference between you and I.”

“What?” Lorian asks, sounding bored. “Do tell me, child - with your youthful ways.”

“When I was asked that question,” you explain, voice clear. “In Department Exes, when I was asked if Baekhyun should die to protect my people. I said no.”

Lorian stares at you, and for a second you think you have him. You think of him raising Baekhyun, raising his experiment and know he must hold some sort of love for him. Even if it’s just as a master for his creation. But then Lorian’s face shutters, completely blank as he steps out the door. “You won’t have the opportunity to speak tomorrow,” he says curtly, before the door slams shut.

There’s silence.

Silence and then – you scream. The sound is pointless, illogical but you can think of nothing else to do. The sound of your pain bounces off the walls, echoing to your eardrums while your heart hopelessly pounds. Banging against your rib cage loud enough to wound. Banging, banging, banging.

No. Something is actually banging.

You barely have time to register this before the door flies open. Baekhyun stumbles in, slamming it shut behind him. “Y/N,” he whispers, dropping to the his knees before you. Curling his hands about your shoulders. “Are you okay? Are you alright?”

Slowly, you nod. Gaze moving to the shut door while you dazedly blink. “Nothing’s injured,” you whisper. “If that’s what you mean.”

“Good,” Baekhyun exhales. “Then – what the hell were you thinking?” he hisses.

You look up in surprise. “Me?”

Baekhyun nods, sitting back on his heels. “The entire Altorium was terrified by what you did – ripping off your cuffs with god knows how much Devil’s Ivy in your system. You froze half the Trial, including me. You played right into their ideas of you. They saw your strength and,” Baekhyung pauses, sucking in a breath. “You’ve been sentenced to die because of it.”

“I know,” you say, your voice quiet.

Baekhyun blinks. “You know?”

“I know. Lorian visited.”

Baekhyun swallows. “Oh.” He looks at the door, and you get the feeling he’s counting. Making sure he doesn’t miss a mark or some cue.

“Baekhyun.” You wait until his gaze returns.

“Yes?”

“How long do we have?” you whisper, unsure why you’re doing so.

“Not long enough.” Baekhyun stares back at you. “Chanyeol made a distraction, cut the cameras. I have about ten minutes.”

Your throat tightens, dangerously close to tears. The fact that he would do this at all – would risk so much to see you. You shakily inhale. “You can’t be found,” you hiss, pulling away. “I can’t let you. They’ll kill you along with me.”

“No.” Baekhyun shakes his head, hands sliding to your hair. “Y/N, that’s what I came here to say. They’ve sentenced you to death and I won’t let them.”

You look down, letting out a small laugh. “I don’t think that’s your position to say, Baekhyun.”

His hands cup your face, lifting your gaze to his. “It’s not,” he says, determined. “But I’m going to break you out of here.”

“No, Baekhyun. You won’t.”

“Yes. I will.” Baekhyun’s eyes flash. “I have a plan. Don’t worry – it’s foolproof,” he adds, throwing out that trademark grin.

“I don’t trust you, Byun Baekhyun.” You gasp, remembering. Unable to believe you forgot while your head falls against the wall. The steady drip of the IV does its job – you can barely concentrate on the man before you. “Lorian told me,” you murmur. “That he was the one who experimented on you. That he was the one who raised you.”

Baekhyun’s expression shutters. “If that’s what he’s calling it. Sure.”

“What does that mean? How,” you cough, dust in your lungs. “How is that possible? Don’t you have a mother and father?”

“I,” Baekhyun hesitates. “It’s complicated. We Altors are taken at – no, there’s no time for this!” Rising up on both knees, Baekhyun looks at you desperately. “The Altorium raided the Department Exes. It’s where they got your drug,” he explains, nodding at the tube in your arm. “They also took the liberty of stealing the antidote.”

Your body stills. “There’s an antidote?”

“Yes.” With trembling fingers, Baekhyun’s pulls a small, white capsule form his pocket. “The drug will take a while to counter-act, but once it does you’ll have full strength of your powers.” He swallows. “The air won’t slow you down, your IV will be nothing more than a drip of fluid. You can break free after that.”

Staring back, you find yourself unable to believe your ears. “Baekhyun,” you breathe, your voice hoarse. “The Altorium is your people. I’m your enemy. You can’t just –”

“When,” Baekhyun growls, eyes fierce, “will you get it through your thick head that I don’t care? That I won’t let them hurt you. Even if I didn’t, well,” he falters. “Even if you weren’t you. It’s still not right.”

When you don’t respond, Baekhyun presses the medicine closer. “Here,” he insists. Gaze desperate, but in a different way. “You need to swallow.”

Staring at him, you open your lips. Starting to let him – and then, “Jongdae,” you breathe.

Baekhyun doesn’t move. “What about him?”

You shut your eyes. “I – he’s. Please, Baekhyun,” you beg, ignoring the crack in your voice. “Please give him this as well.”

There’s silence. Silence, and when you open your eyes – you nearly recoil. Baekhyun appears halfway caught between pain and anger. Face stuck in a mask which does little to hide his emotions within.

Hand slowly lowering, he exhales. “I don’t know,” Baekhyun mutters. “I would need to go back, need to steal more. I’d have to break into Jongdae’s holding cell – which is more heavily guarded than this one – and then,” he sighs, his gaze flickering. “There’s the fact that I don’t want to.”

Something in your stomach tightens. “Baekhyun,” you manage. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean – what about what you just said, about doing the right thing? I may be angry with Jongdae,” you admit. “May hate him a little bit right now – but keeping him here is just wrong.”

Baekhyun squeezes his eyes shut, fist tightening over the antidote. “I know,” he breathes. “I know you’re right and I know I’m being selfish but dammit,” Baekhyun bursts, opening his eyes. His gaze burns with sudden clarity. “I want to be good for you,” he groans. “I want to be good for you and give you everything – even if that means him, but I –“ Baekhyun stops, pressing the palms of both hands to his eyes.

You’re staring wildly, unable to believe your ears. You suspected this for some time now, ever since that moment in Department Exes, when you felt he was about to say something. But now, hearing it out loud – telling you he’ll do anything for you.

You weren’t expecting to feel the same.

Lowering his hands, Baekhyun stares at you for a moment. Then he reaches forward, crushing your lips to his. “Ah,” you gasp, melting into him.

Baekhyun’s one hand finds your hair, the other your waist. Some of his desperation softens, lips slowing as his body presses to yours. His mouth opens, tongue sweeping in and it’s all you can do to keep from moaning. Fire races through you, making you forget everything about this room. Forgetting this place, the time – right now, there’s only Baekhyun.

When he pulls back, resting his head against yours, his breathing is heavy, “Y/N,” Baekhyun murmurs, gaze lifting. “I love you.”

[Master List]

Author’s Note: Part XVIII is up!

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