#i persist in trying

[randomfusilier2]

I keep cycling back thru the same things over and over

I keep being disappointed that those same things don't bring me joy

#i mean #i know what i want #not being able to have it #my mind wanders #searching #searching for a replacement #but there is no replacing love with a counterfeit #and yet #i persist in trying #what does that make me?

[costis]

All those posts that are like "your life doesn't really start til your 30s-40s-50s" are wonderful and important but they make me sad so. Positivity post for anyone who's not going to get there.

People who have been told they won't make it til their 20s, 30s, 40s, whenever. Another month, another year, another five years, another ten or twenty. People who have known since they were little, people who just found out. People who are getting worse faster or slower. People who are in treatments that might help, but cause so much other damage. People who treatment didn't work for people who can't afford treatment. People who are medically fragile and people who are housebound and people who are bedbound. People who are losing their independence and people who have never had it. People who never know which infection, which flare-up, which episode is going to be the last one. People who are in hospice, people who have planned their funerals and written their wills and got their DNR in order. People who have tried everything they can and people who are making themselves worse and people who are being neglected by doctors and caregivers. People with genetic diseases that have taken family members already. Cheers 🧃🧃

#disability #i don't. talk about the cvid a lot and i try not to think about it a lot but the horrors persist!

[hoofpeet]

#hoof draws #hoofology #drawing to try and calm my nerves as much i can ig. can't sleep but can't keep thinking abt tomorrow or i'm gonna break down #neway spots. faun spots usually fade around age ~12 but dane's persist into his 20's #it's kinda like. being baby-faced so he's shy about taking his shirt off

[revenantghost]

That is so valid

#Trigun #Tristamp #Trigun Stampede #That man had a blorbo #And an excellent choice of one too #Good For Him #I'm trying to watch/listen while working AND being assaulted by cats #Life is ruff #But I persist

[milkybishop]

"- but with whom can you sit in water?"

and who can hop in the bath with you to make a show of not caring about your tattoos, and how can you not find it hard to hide your disdain at the attempt.

because either this is a trap you have blindly walked into again . . . or he really does love you and could have loved you all this time. and despite all that-

you cannot turn from the path that you are on.

#fallen hero #fhr #fallen hero: retribution #fallen hero: revelations #ricardo ortega #sidestep #chargestep #dion bishop #my art #ok i did not realise the revelations demo was out so teehee i haven't played it yet #i have such a clear image of elena’s farm. refurbed a bit and lots of colour. ortega put in the bars himself hence the new plaster #and dion having an en suite and like struggling so much with being unable to just run away. and that people(especially ortega) have seen hi #pre-reveal dion is cagey but he’s definitely softer with ortega cause there was that barrier and almost dream-like curtain that #dion could go ‘i can have this much #cause anything real will never happen’. and then everything is too real. and dion is just trying to have a bath and he’s trying not to #be repulsed by his own body and markings. and the fact he can’t just escape if he needs to. #and then ortega is barging in and kinda making a show of how not-bothered he is by dion’s markings which manages to annoy dion more #i think dion is more..caustic(?) during this time. at first. because he kinda can’t accept the reality that ortega is fine with it #and it’s very self-sabotagey. that curtain is gone and so that softness is too. #but of course ortega persists and starts getting to dion proper #^these are tags are from when i posted the very first sketch of this in like september skjdghdjk #AND ALSO so sos so so happy with how this came out #shouout to my friend anonbea who gave me sooooo many helpful tips with this piece #it's very ambitious for me and i got overwhelmed once or twice but IM JUST REALLY HAPPY #hope to keep this momentum up and do more interactive + bg pieces

[gomzdrawfr]

whoosh

#in regards to me recently drawing unmasked ghost lol #welp #guess im better off drawing chibi instead #SIGH #but i will persist and try 1000 time ksjhadkj to get non-chibi unmask ghost right if that's the last thing i do #gummmyart #doodle #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost cod

[andrew-rannells-mustache]

Idk I just think it’s so interesting how Hickey uses names and titles as a tool to manipulate the people around him (especially the mutineers). Calling Tozer “sergeant” when he’s first convincing him to mutiny, to play into his desire to follow his rank and protect. Switching to “Solomon” when he’s trying to get Tozer to open up more about the Tuunbaq. Intentionally not calling Jopson “Lieutenant” after his promotion as a subtle dig. How often he says Billy’s name, especially during the ring scene and when Billy’s entertaining the idea of a mutiny before the walk out (“speak your mind, Billy”). Smugly directing his story about kidnapping Silna to “Captain Crozier” and only Captain Crozier, then after kidnapping him only referring to him as “Mr. Crozier” and making the mutineers do the same (but Hodgson, who’s not loyal but is at least complacent to Hickey, stays “Lieutenant Hodgson”). Calling Tommy, who’s always Tommy or Mr. Armitage, “Private Armitage” when he’s ordering him to brutalize Crozier, because Hickey knows he’s always wanted to be a marine, so in his camp he’s given him the rank of one. It adds an such an interesting layer to Hickey’s “reconfigure, reinvent, rearrange” speech.

#also interesting that he always calls Goodsir ‘Mr. Goodsir’ not doctor #I think it’s bc he knows goodsir won’t take to flattery ‘does that really work on anyone mr hickey?’ so he figures there’s no point #or maybe he just heard goodsir correcting someone that ‘he’s not actually a doctor’ since he does that a fair bit ksjdjs #also I think it’s interesting how Tozer tries to use this when he’s trying to convince Little to join the mutiny #(‘that’s your name isn’t it? Edward?’) #(hickey calling armitage ‘private’ made me write this post and I found it while mining scenes for a. very indulgent video edit. so.) #(the terror brainrot persists ig!) #cornelius hickey #solomon tozer #tommy armitage #terrorposting #the terror

[shakingparadigm]

what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?

It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:

During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.

Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.

I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:

I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.

The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.

This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.

The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.

I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.

#ivan u fucked up little guy. #also okay i just wanna clear this up #i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits #but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi” #I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED. #i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3 #the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him #but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated #there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is #this isn't me condoning his actions #but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die #plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires #especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile) #thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict #“sure and unsure at the same time” #there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him #his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway #uh i need to shut up i think #anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk. #in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him. #SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY #alnst #alien stage #alien stage ivan #alnst ivan #asks

[ganymede-g]

new god of war oc just dropped

hafnar is týr’s kid, but he’s nothing like him. he absolutely sucks at being diplomatic, can be pretty tone deaf, and has no problem beating people up. an overall well-adapted individual if i do say so myself!!

#god of war #atreus #oc #he has a strained relationship with tyr seeing that he’s always everywhere but home #he was super close with his mother who was a full-blooded jotunn #but yk how that ended #*looks at thor and odin* #i imagine atreus stumbling upon hafnar’s rickety shack in the most obscure place in midgard #with angrboda when they try to find the rest of the giants together #and trying to befriend him #but .. that’s a work-in-progress at best #but knowing atreus he’d be annoyingly persistent #god of war ragnarok #gow #gow ragnarok #hafnar

[corethetrueidiot]

grrr ethan pokemon how do I draw you 🪦💥

So. I've been playing heart gold AND soul silver lately. you can tell what's affecting the poke brainrot now

#SORRY FOR THE LACK OF POSTS IVE BEEN HAVING AN ARTSTYLE CRISIS #im forcing myself to do stuff but if it werent for that persistent part of my brain pushing me to do stuff i will procrastinate for 3 years #anyway guess what? im now obsessed with all gen 4 games. my 3ds aint having it #soo now expect more sinjoh content because i swear i love these stupid goobers #trying to figure put how to draw them tho #why are yall so difficult 💀💀💀💥 #pkmn #pokemon #pokemon hgss #pokemon heartgold #pokemon soulsilver #silver #ethan #gold #(tagging gold because then the fandom will come to bite me) #lyra #rival silver #trainer ethan #trainer gold #trainer lyra #arceus help these autistic bitches/j #the core art tag

[jaguarys]

Thinking about a Jedi Maul AU where Palpatine decides to send him out too early to hopefully Kill Some Jedi and he ultimately picks possibly the worst target imaginable in going after Mace Windu. Both because Mace is inarguably the best swordsman of the Order and just not menaced at all and also because he's way too tired for a feral teenager bouncing off him with seemingly never-ending energy to continually try to kill him. And so Mace kind of picks him up by the scruff of the neck and carts him off to the Order like "Um. Evil child. Help" but at this point Maul has imprinted on him with some really warped form of respect and so. Mace ends up with a fucked up little padawan who's more domesticated than really redeemed. But if the results are the same, who really needs to know

#the others masters looking at mace: what have you got there #mace with maul hanging off him and trying to bite him: a smoothie #mace is batting him off like a particularly persistent mosquito and maul is being the cockroach that he is #really hyper and traumatized padawan/equally tired and no-nonsense master. both of them are grouchy and way more attached than they'll admi #anyways. i've had this ida in my head for monthssss but it would be longer than i usually do #so who knows if i'll write it. let me know if you're into it #fandom: star wars #darth maul #mace windu #master windu #star wars maul #star wars #star wars prequels #sw #maul star wars #maul opress #palpatine star wars #star wars palpatine #palpatine #sheev palpatine #sw palpatine #darth sidious

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Show: LEGO Monkie Kid

Song: Seven Nation Army (Glitch Mob Remix)

link to watch on youtube

This is four minutes long my condolences

#KNOX EDIT (me) #Monkie Kid #LEGO Monkie Kid #Monkey King | Sun Wukong #longest AMV I've ever done all because i was too lazy to do my usual trimming down of the song hGKLSJDJFSD #wifi died completely for four hours yesterday so I sat down and did this #first time I've done audio over clips they're not from but it was fun #wasn't gonna post but got hyped up by nice fave people so ;-; here we are #anyway yeah swk based amv i don't know what i'm doing G'DAY TO Y'ALLS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO UPLOAD THIS FOR TWO HOURSBGSF;JKDSF #wifi still sketchy as heck #ALSO YEAH I'M STILL ALIVE #family issues continue and persist but i'm :') doing my best #excited for the good vibes the english episodes are gonna give me when they come out so i can watch ses 4 #could use them good vibesbglkdsfmd #ANYWAY WOO

[viliantropy-art]

fall in love fast? (and no, she didn't steal those)

#sth #amy rose #myart #sth fanart #amy rose fanart #(FAST FAST FAST) FALL IN LOVE (FAST FAST FAST) GOTTA GO GO-GO-GO GO 🏃 #I think I sustained brain damage for trying to live in both reality and virtual #literally living is a horror and yet we persist

[youngchronicpain]

hello painsomnia my old friend...

😵‍💫

#babababa bababababa I wanna be sedated #chronic pain #I've accidentally woken up my partner like 4 times already while trying to get comfortable #and tbh I wish he was awake now so that I wasnt alone with my pain and brain #but he has had to go into work early multiple times this week so I know he needs rest #:( #all these meds in my system and yet still the body persists in this hellacious experience

[nervoustragedyluminary]

Reductress is just spreading terf rhetoric now

The "joke" is that nonbinary people are somehow escaping from violence by being trans that we can opt out of fearing violence and don't fear violence when walking at night....

Like just yuck as a transmasc nonbinary survivor whose actually aware of the stats of violence against nonbinary people this just disgusts me...

Also I'm betting they have talked to zero Black trans enbies or men or women of colour about how being seen as "scary" puts them in danger from racist white people & or they're just assuming all enbies are white idk it's disgusting... There's just so many layers to the bigotry and white fauxminism of this "joke"

They've previously made posts like this so idk if they've got terfs on staff who keep trying to slip this in to pipeline people or people who think certain trans people they dislike facing violence including sexual violence is funny and that those trans survivors are lying and shouldn't be beleived.

They're priming their audience to disbelieve and mock nonbinary trans survivors. They're literally pushing the "people transition to escape/opt out of patriarchal violence like a fun game" terf talking point which isn't reflected in the stats of violence against trans people who face higher rates of physical sexual and domestic violence than cis people

Just "it's a coin toss!"

As a survivor fuck you

Like the comments section is full of transphobia and people going "har har they think they're in danger they're delusional " or spouting transphobic BS and a trans man whose talking about how he fears violence walking at night being called 'female' and misgendered like well done you've curated a comment section full of transphobes and people who think trans people aren't who we say we are fucking yikes

None of the transphobic comments have been deleted reductress seems happy to leave up comments calling trans men "female" and saying that trans people are a danger to children

#Reductress #Exorsexism #Rape culture #transandrophobia #Terf rhetoric #Erasing tpoc #When your “joke” is “haha enbies don't face violence people think you're men and trans men don't face violence” in current year just wtaf #Did a nonbinary person reject one of the writers or something there seems to be this persistent creepy obsession with mocking and belittlin #It really sounds like the “all my exgfs are crazy” shit but projected onto enbies like who hurt you and why are you hurting survivors? #Like they already tried a similarly transphobic joke and it went over just as badly then why do they keep trying to push this maga shit #Enbyphobia #Anti-Transmasculinity #This is what violent transphobes who harass assault & kill us WANT you to think when we try to talk about fearing for our safety #Why are you perpetuating this transphobic nonsense #Also I wonder if the stock model whose image they used knows its being used to mock&erase trans survivors

[resignedseraph]

Many christians are terrible and toxic and abusive. And, I also explained neopronouns to a christian woman in her mid seventies this last Sunday and she thought they were fantastic.

So you know, might as well encourage those who are trying to make things better, rather than tell them they’re not really the religion they claim, or that they just be secretly hiding horrible beliefs and actions. Religion can change based on what people do, and I’d rather it change for the better in the present than continue on being as horrible as it’s been in the past

#man I don’t care what you believe as long as you’re not hurting anyone #and sometimes christians fall into this category #sometimes there are social paradoxes of people trying to be a speck of hope in a massive social construct which is largely harmful #I think humanity’s goodness will persist #esrah talks