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vincente8932 · 9 days

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Fandom Oneshots: Wonderland is not as wonderful as it seems (The Walten Files)

Wonderland is a beautiful place, full of joy and wonder. But for the spirits of Brian Stells, Rosemary Walten, Ashley, Susan Woodings, Charles, Edd and Molly, it is a place full of pain and sadness. Their minds are wandering, trying to distract themselves from the fact that they are dead, no longer alive and in pain. In this Wonderland, they seek out comfort and escape from the memories of their tragic deaths. As they wander, they find that even this supposedly magical place is unable to dull the pain of their loss.

Molly takes Edd's hand and they walk "what if we can't find Sophie... What if we're too late?" Molly said as she was sad, Edd looked at her. The red children had no idea why this was happening, when someone dies and goes to wonderland, they become reborn. Edd gently squeezed Molly's hand. "Don't worry, we'll find her. She'll be okay." He tried to comfort her, but his mind was plagued by doubts. What if they were too late? What if they couldn't find her? What if they couldn't save her? These thoughts were tearing him up inside. As they walked, Edd tried to push away the worry and focus on finding Sophie. But the doubts kept creeping back in.

The warm embrace of Rosemary was comforting in this place of sadness. Ed and Molly hugged back, holding on tight. They couldn't see her face, but they knew it was her. She smelled like iron and her body felt like a marionette on strings, like something inhuman. But the warmth and softness of the embrace made them forget their sorrow, if only for a moment.

"L ook at t he h ap py f ami ly" "Bon said as all 3 looked at him

All 3 looked up at "Bon", who was standing at the edge of the Wonderland. Covered in pure white. His words sent a shiver down Ed's spine. The happy family he was talking about was no longer here. The happy family was now in the past. And in this Wonderland, there was only pain and sadness. Ed's grip on Molly tightened as they stared at "Bon". "You leave my children alone" Rosemary said as 'Bon" took a step closer, Rosemary became more and more furious. Her voice was dripping with anger as her protective instincts kicked in. She would not let "Bon" hurt her children.

"Bon" continued to stare, his eyes seeming to burn a hole right through her soul. Then he spoke again, his voice now filled with menace.

"Y ou h ave lov ely re d chi ldre n."

The phrase sent chills down her spine. She had never heard anything so horrifying come out of his mouth before. The meaning of it was chilling.

Rosemary took a step back as the fear grew inside her. "Bon's" words had sent a wave of terror through her heart. This Wonderland was no longer a magical place full of joy and wonder. It was now a playground for a psychopath who had ripped families apart with no regard for the consequences.

Ed and Molly seemed to share her fear as they huddled closer together. They no longer felt safe in this Wonderland. The happy family that "Bon" had mentioned had been torn apart. It seemed they would not be reunited in this place but rather they would be subjected to more trauma and pain.

"I sa ved yo u, I ma de y ou reborn" "Bon" said as he looked at Rosemary. "Bon's" words triggered Rosemary's anger again. The rage she had felt before was reignited and this time, it was fueled with hatred. She hated "Bon" for ripping her family apart. She hated "Bon" for causing pain and suffering.

"You saved nothing. You destroyed everything," she shouted. Her words carried a fierce determination to stand up against "Bon" and protect her children, even if it was at the cost of her own life. "Bon" remained silent and just stared at her. His expression was like the grim reaper, awaiting his next victim. "You r bo dy is stil l blee ding, but, yo u're n ow

beautiful

He forcefully seized her and proceeded to forcefully remove her limbs. Molly and Edd let out piercing screams and swiftly sought refuge behind the nearest tree. Rosemary let out anguished cries, fiercely resisting his grasp. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she persistently struggled against him. "NO!!!!" she bellowed. "No more!!" Edd and Molly stood frozen, aghast at the scene unfolding before them. She was being torn apart mercilessly, as he callously began to dismember her once more. It sounded like meat getting torn apart, the smell of iron and blood permeated the air along with the acrid odor of burnt plastic. Blood spilled and splattered across the ground as he ripped away at her flesh, exposing her bones. Edd looked on in disgust, unable to look away and Molly covered her eyes as the image burned itself into her memory. Rosemary screamed and yelled, her cries were so loud and desperate, tears flowed freely, mingling with her blood. Edd and Molly cowered behind the tree as tears streamed down their cheeks, their heads buried deep under the branches. Rosemary's screams echoed into the distance, and they could barely understand what she was saying, but they heard one thing clearly: “Help me!!” Her cries pierced their hearts as if they were knives.

"Bon" suddenly stopped and turned around. His eyes met theirs briefly before the dark void overtook his soul. Molly cried harder, while Edd hid his head deeper underneath the branches. sounds of Rosemary's gargles mixed with her sobs made "Bon" look at her "yo u ca n't di e her e, yo u'll ret urn to wha t yo u were" Ed and Molly were so horrified by what they had just witnessed that they could barely move. Their bodies were frozen in fear and their hearts were beating out of their chests. They had just seen their beloved mother, the person who had been their protector and provider since the day they were born, being ripped apart by Bon.

The images of her being ripped apart would forever be seared into their memories and the sound of her blood-curdling screams would haunt them for the rest of eternity. As Bon walked away, Rosemary's body started to reassemble itself, like bones crushing. Her body was put back together, piece by piece, bone by bone. Her limbs slowly started to reattach themselves as if by magic. The process was painful and slow, but her body was being put back together like a broken toy. It was a miracle, but a horrifying one at that. The reassembling of Rosemary's body was a sight that Ed and Molly couldn't look away from. Despite the gruesome nature of the scene, they remained glued to the spot, watching their mother's body slowly return to its original form. The gruesome sight was like a horrible car crash - they knew they should turn away, but they couldn't.

When the reassembling was finally complete, Rosemary stood up slowly, her body still dripping with blood from the process. All three of them just stood there in silence, too shocked to speak. After witnessing the gruesome reassembling of Rosemary's body, Ed and Molly were in shock. They hugged their mother tightly, grateful that she had been put back together again. The three of them stood there in shock and silence for a few moments, unable to process what they had just seen.

Then, they spotted Bon's Burgers in the Wonderland and decided to head towards it. When Molly pushed open the door to Bon's Burgers, she expected to find "Bon" or at least someone familiar inside. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of Susie and Ashley, two familiar faces and fellow victims of "Bon". The sight was unexpected and filled Molly with some hope. Here were two people who had experienced "Bon's" brutality first-hand and who might be able to help them find some answers. Molly and Ed stood quietly as Ashley spoke up. Her tone was cold and blunt, completely different from the cheerful and upbeat girl that they had known back in the real world. It was as if she had been replaced with another, much harsher counterpart.

"What do you want" she repeated, giving no indication that she recognized Ed and Molly at all. Ashley shared a quick glance, clearly puzzled by how much Charles and Susie seemed to know about them.

"You know them?" asked Ashley, looking back at Molly and Ed. Her tone was still harsh and sarcastic, but now there was a hint of curiosity in her voice.

Then, Charles spoke up, his tone much more gentle and familiar than that of Ashley's. "Jack Walten was the father of Molly Walten and Ed Walten. He was one of the owners of Bon's Burgers." Molly tried to explain what had happened to them, but she was interrupted by Susie who said, "He lied." The implication was clear - Felix had not been telling the whole truth when he had described the accident. Something else had happened, something more sinister and dark.

Molly and Ed both felt a growing sense of confusion and dread as they listened to the two ex workers. Their world was slowly falling apart, piece by piece. Something was definitely not right here. Charles's words brought up more mysteries. Felix had deliberately lied to Rosemary and Jack, telling them something completely different from what had actually happened. And now, it seemed like he had been lying to everyone. The thought was chilling - what else had Felix been hiding? And what was this about Rocket being hidden at Bon's Burgers? Ashley's words sent a chill down Ed and Molly's spines. She had found a tape at the K-9 Facility that contained a song that mentioned the names of various people, including their own. Then the tape had suddenly cut out, and she had been killed by "Bon".

It wasn't clear what this meant, but it definitely signaled that something sinister was at work in this Wonderland. The fact that the song had broken down and mentioned these names was concerning. And the fact that Ashley had been murdered after listening to it made the whole situation even more unsettling. Molly and Ed both remained silent, digesting Ashley's story. It was horrifying to think that she had been murdered simply for listening to a tape with a strange song. And the fact that the song had mentioned all of these names was concerning as well. Both Molly and Ed felt a growing sense of dread as they processed the story. Something dark and sinister was indeed lurking in this Wonderland, and it was quickly becoming clear that the entire world was not what it seemed. The more they learned about this place, the more questions they had. Something was off. They needed to find out more about this Wonderland and what had really happened.

Why was this happening

#the walten files #TWF #The Walten Files fanfiction

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oldshrewsburyian · 2 years

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@butaneandthebeast replied to this post:

i know nothing about anglican marriage services and any elaboration on your part esp. re: anne and freddie would be much, *much* appreciated <3

@crabapple10, adding incentive:

Yes, please elaborate on the implications of the Anglican marriage service!

Mine hour is come. A prolegomenon on the Book of Common Prayer: as a single text, it probably has the most decisive influence on the Anglophone literary imagination from the 16th century onward. Through the time of Austen’s writing, it’s part of most people’s daily lives (more than the King James Bible or Shakespeare, for instance.) I could digress on the theological and social debates that underlie its formation and revision, because I find them fascinating, but I will spare you. Point is: it’s influential, and it continues in use for centuries before substantial revision, so the language and some of the ideas would have been archaic by Jane Austen’s day, but... this is still the Marriage Service. The edition that would have been used for the Wentworths is that of 1662.

If you’ve seen the 1995 Pride and Prejudice -- a safe bet, probably? -- you’ve heard the opening of this liturgy, and I think its use is possibly the smartest choice of that very smart adaptation, simultaneously highlighting and undercutting the meaning of the text in a way that I hope Austen would have approved, showing the messy ways in which humans live our lives... and how we still aspire to human love that mirrors the divine, that makes us both better and happier.

Anyway! Despite the fact that the BCP contains Forms of Prayer to be Used at Sea, I rather think that Anne has a more easy familiarity with the liturgies of the church than her husband; that she is readier to view this as a homely as well as a solemn thing. But Frederick Wentworth is going to vow to love, comfort, honor, and keep this woman, in sickness and in health, keeping only unto her, and I think he’s going to do such a good job. He will vow to cherish her until parted from her by death. And the final vow of their joint sequence, before the priestly prayer confirming them as man and wife, is: “with this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” I don’t know whether he would still be pale and grave, at this point, or just impossibly fond and pleased, but that... that is a vow. Made not only in the sight of God but also, I suspect, of the Harvilles holding hands, Sophy Croft borrowing her husband’s handkerchief, and Lady Russell looking fixedly at a stained glass window.

Anne, meanwhile, will be given from the hand of a man who has no affection for her into the hands of a man who adores her. And I think that quiet Anne Elliot makes her vows unhesitating. She will have this man and hold him, plighting her troth thereunto. “Neither time, nor health, nor life, to be called your own,” exclaims Anne, in conversation with Harville about the lot of naval men. She is acutely, painfully aware of this. But even if Frederick cannot call these things his own, she can, once they are married, call them hers. These things are owed to her, vowed to her, placed into her keeping after God’s. And if her Frederick were in serious danger, frankly, I think Anne would be prepared to argue the order of precedence with the Almighty.

#persuasion reread #now with big feelings about liturgy #anne elliot #frederick 'unconsciously nay unintentionally constant' wentworth everyone #one of my semi-clichéd identities:#queer anglo-catholic church lady #i ALSO have a lot of feelings about the fact that the minister would probably read the passage #about the man loving/cherishing his wife as himself #we know that #frederick wentworth #holds his life lightly and holds anne's comfort supremely dear #listen to the preacher fred

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dreaming-of-the-end · 1 year

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9: the right way to be proud (and hate me all the same)

A/N: Keefe chapter! in which he is silly (but that’s all of them!) PLEASE please please reblog and/or comment if you like!!

Links: [ao3] [wattpad] [masterpost] [previous chapter] [next chapter]

Tags: @an-ungraceful-swan @seulgibabes @gay-otlc @fruityfintanfortythree @synonymroll648 @bookwyrminspiration @skylilac @song-tam @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @abubble125 @rainy-nights-and-fairy-lights @kamikothe1and0lny @arsonistblue @daphneisntreal @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @istanrandomfandoms @sunset-telepath

Dear Alden,

I wish I could call you dad, but there are a few reasons why I can't.

1: Real fathers don't tell you they're proud of you for being less than perfect.

2: You've hurt me more than Fintan ever could. Weird, right? But that's what a father is supposed to do. You're supposed to be worse than the villains.

3: You've loved me more than my mother was supposed to. I don't want to admit that hating me is genetic.

But it is. Hating me runs in the family, and you were exempt from that disease on account of being a Vacker.

Your pride in me is something I have never been able to match up with who I am. If I am not yours, why are you proud of me? What right do I have to take those shreds away from Fitz, away from Biana? You owe me nothing. I owe you everything.

The first time you told me you were proud of me, my father's hand was around my wrist. And he didn't feel excitement or happiness or gratitude, he felt confusion.

I'd never heard those words with my name where Fitz's was supposed to be. Something didn't quite match. Something came out wrong, and I think it was me.

You spent years looking for Sophie, hoping to find her because of what you did to Prentice— ruining his life, that is. But you never found her because she came out wrong too, didn't she? Not quite human, not quite elven. Not like what you know.

Sophie was something you had to learn. Someone you had to teach yourself about.

But you assumed that I was straight out of the textbook definition. Look for Keefe in a dictionary and I come up. Definable. Noteworthy. Disaster.

Did you know that Keefe means loved in some human languages? Being a polyglot means that I understand every language, but I don't understand a world where my name means loveable. Worthy of being cared for.

That's not a father's job, anyway. Your job is to break me down to your level and try to repair the damage when you've pieced your mind back together. Your job is to shout and shout and shout and wait for the words to get through to me. Your job is to find me where I've hidden myself and bring me back into the burning sunlight.

Find me, Alden; find who I am, what I am, what I've kept from you. Why aren't you looking? Why do you never see? I've hidden myself away. You haven't found me yet. You're not my dad.

You love learning secrets no one was supposed to tell. Here's one of mine:

You gave me the idea to run away.

I was thinking about Fitz. And I was thinking about how we met. And why we became friends. It's because no one knew where he was. He was mysterious. Gone all the time. Gone to look for Sophie in the Forbidden Cities.

Do you feel your mind shattering the more you read? I think you're better off not reading this, but that's not why I won't send it.

It's because you never tried to peel back my layers. It's because my hiding spot was too good, it's because my head records every word and plays them in a disordered line, it's because neither of us has fixed our stupid broken matching heads yet. It's because you accepted me as who I was instead of who I was throwing at you, over and over, desperate to break the glass between us. Too bad that part of me is dead now.

I think you killed him.

I cried at your planting. Sometimes I regret it.

Love,

Keefe

…

Fitz isn't there the next morning when the rest of the group comes to see if it's true that he's back.

Biana gets there first: he knows it's her by how tightly she squeezes him, crushing them together. Her hair tickles his chin, bracelets digging into his back, but it's hard for Keefe to care, to breathe as she whispers, "Missed you."

"Missed you too," Keefe says softly, and Biana releases him. Her expression switches quickly from easy relief to a hesitant question. "And I've already seen Fitz," he adds, watching her eyebrows lift.

But she steps back.

"A lot has happened since you left," Tam puts in, barbed and accusatory. Not since you've been gone. Since you left.

Sophie catches it too, forehead wrinkling. She tugs out an eyelash, and Keefe winces. "Sorry about that, by the way."

They accept his apology a bit easier than Fitz did. Then, none of them know he doesn't mean it, besides Sophie, who was there last night. Not even Biana. They don't know the tug, the pull and push of anywhere but here that keeps him running, keeps him lying, keeps him leaving everyone behind. They don't know the desperate need for change, the roiling fear, the tumbling guilt that mixes with his blood and sets it itching in his veins.

Tam and Linh probably know it least of all. They run for need rather than want. He's seen their backpacks that pack for quick escape, and he's also seen the drawers they've filled since. They want a home. He wants to leave his forever. No wonder Tam hates him. The only part of him he’s ever known has been betrayal, from either side of whatever dynamic they have made for themselves.

Even now, he feels it: the monotony of his days here. Trying for solutions and knowing that all will fail. The cycle that he's found himself drawn back into against his will. This is why Fitz found him lying when he said he wanted to come back.

Keefe feels a chill set over him, and Tam's shadowy voice whispers: Keefe, we're going to have to talk sometime soon.

This is the worst part of going numb, a new kind of blindness. As he meets Tam's eyes, he can't tell whether his calm is genuine or not. He's gotten out of practice at reading expression before emotion, and he can't match them up anymore.

But he nods.

And he thinks of the letters he has stacked up, one for each of his closest friends. The ones he thought he would never have the chance to give to them because he'd never see them again.

It's worse now. Because now he has to choose to keep them piled away, written and unopened, addressed to him and him only.

Dear Biana, he thinks as she ruffles his hair and he ducks with a yelp. Sorry for wanting to forget you again. I hope I'm forgiven for coming back.

#summer's writing #alira(taor)#a lesson in running away (the art of returning)#keefe sencen #keefitz #biana vacker #alden vacker #sophie foster #tam song #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #letter writing trope #angst #kotlc writing #kotlc fic #keefe angst

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bigweldindustries · 3 months

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23. Also 36-40 for the music asks

VERONICA I OWE U MY LIFE <3

song asks

23 - a song from the year you were born

I had to go rootin round BC fuck if I know what was going on in 2000 I was in da hospital for all of it but One More Time by Daft Punk came out in 2000??? Axel wins again

36 - your favorite song you’ve heard live

I HAD TO THINK SO FUCKING HARD ABOUT THIS I've seen some absolutely fucking banging songs live so this took some real soul searching. I've seen so many powerhouses live - Charli XCX, SOPHIE, Justice, Pendulum, Porter Robinson, Madeon, both of them together, fucking Swedish House Mafia after waiting a decade to see them. But I think it's got to go to No Love by Death Grips. One of the rawest fucking experiences I've had in my life - DG are fucking UNREAL live, I was high as balls in the pit, everyone was throwing themselves around whilst hollering the lyrics, absolutely feral fucking experience I wish I could relive every day of my life

36 - a song that reminds you of your best friend

Genghis Khan by Miike Snow. I had it in one of my house party playlists and we for some reason dramatically tried to recreate the music video in our friends living room and everytime I hear it I think of her and crack up lmfaooo

37 - your favorite song from childhood

outing myself as the oddball kid I was but I got Waiting 4 (very specifically the Hi_Tack UK Radio Edit) by Peter Gelderblom on the back end of a pop compilation when I was like 7 and I was OBSESSED. small child me heard a dance song interpolating by the way by rhcp and was like "is anyone else gonna obsess over this or am I gonna have to"

38 - a song you always sing along to

I'm not much of the singing type I'm too shy but I was home alone earlier and was hollering along to Hollywood Baby by 100 Gecs so let's go with that lmao

39 - your favorite song in a language different from your native one

FUCKIN CO1N BY LVL1 GOES SO FUCKING HARDDDDD I fucking love all of lvl1's songs they're so fucking talented dude but Co1n in particular makes me lose my mind it's a killer fucking track

#ask #chemicalbrew #TYSM RAGGH my taste in music is atrocious

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channelsoph · 2 months

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ow introduction post jeeez

hi! i’m Sophi/Soph and it is always going to be a little weird.

this blog is mainly for Sleep Token stuff. i reblog a lot of art, [some of it may be nsfw/suggestive ALTHOUGH VERY RARE but alas you’ve been warned], recordings and pics from concerts, shitposts, memes, the ususal. but i’ll reblog and post about non ST related stuff also.

i don’t know their names, identities and haven’t seen their faces and i’m not interested in knowing. conjoining, i don’t post about that either. i enjoy the music for what it is, just how the band members intended for their followers to do. i love that i can project in peace. so this is a safe space for individuals who subscribe to that <3

i also post my thoughts on Sleep Token. it’s not analysis per se, rather a string of thoughts and feelings i experienced, combined and made a playlist of to make sense. it’s mostly sappy shit about how i love this band’s lyricism and tunes lmao. you can find it on my #sleep token thots tag

other tags i use:

#yummy art: for fanart and especially suggestive and nsfw pieces #open mic moment: my ramble tag #my video:) #my gif :) #my photo :): all for things i filmed at concerts myself #it's ii'sday innit: special chewsday post #motorbickle shenanigans: i am a bikette and am enjoying the bike life so i will post abt it occasionally c: #kiki<3: for my sweet sweet baby (my cat)

disclaimer: this blog is a mess and i'm bad at tagging properly. it's a work in progress yall. i'll obviously post some more of my stuff and will update as i go!

i don’t reblog or post negativity. it has its place, those are valid feelings of human beings but i don’t like spreading that. i might engage with/adress something once in a blue moon, cause i am human after all but my intention is to giggle, twirl my hair and kick my feet in the air

these are some of my most cherished tokens:

this is my full recording of Atlantic live performed at Leipzig on 10.12.2023. and this is Atlantic filmed in Berlin on 8.12.2023. this is a very nice part of TLYW also from the Leipzig ritual on 10.12.2023. ii’s The Summoning solo performed in Berlin on 8.12.2023. some nice Nazareth gifs i made :) a smol part of Rain live in Berlin on 8.12.2023 and some seriously yummy moves by Espera/vessellettes

some of the pics of Vessel i took:

Leipzig Berlin

Worship! 🖤

#introduction post #blog intro #masterlist #kind of?..#sleep token #sleep token band #i hope all the links work lmao if not pls let me know

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pngjpeg · 2 months

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ok thoughs on AGoT re-read (re-listen??)

jon snow im sorry i still don't like you but its so funny how a 30 year old woman has beef with you.

this is one of my favorite lines from the entire series and it perfectly encapsulates the character of Ned Stark and I'm also personally not a fan of this guy but w/e

3. I think Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams did such a gr8 job at the scene where they kill Lady bc like... idk its so. sad. it's so fucking sad. It's so sad everyone there either doesn't give a shit to the point where they let Cersei get her way and Ned can't maneuver the situation in a way that's less bad so he just decides to do the obvious thing and it's so fucking sad

4. the guy reading this audiobook sucks and i can't find another good version if anyone has one w the chapters marked out i would owe you my life

5. edit: I also forgot but extremely sad how the only person who gives Dany a gift that she has any use for and finds any comfort in is the 40 year old guy who's. in love with her. damn

#txt #got

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tehuti88-art · 2 years

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6/3/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Bells/Free Draw Friday." (I did Free Draw Friday since it gives me the chance to practice my characters.)

This week's character from my anthro WWII series is Adelina Dobermann, AKA Addy, AKA Lina (but only to her mother and to very close family friend Lt. Gunter Hesse, whom she thinks of as an uncle). She grew up in a rich, influential household and was pretty sheltered from the world (Hesse being a main perpetrator of this), so although being kind and idealistic, she's also rather spoiled and very naive about all the horrible stuff that's actually going on around her. She has a very big, dangerous secret that even she doesn't know about at first. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding her design: She's a black-and-tan (rust) Doberman pinscher with natural ears, and lookswise, she takes after her mother. (Her father has blond or light brown hair (haven't decided yet) and blue eyes and cropped ears). Her hair right be a bit wavier than this.

(EDIT, made a few tiny fixes to the linework and reuploaded, sorry.)

TUMBLR EDIT: Okay, Addy Dobermann...I've put off typing up this one because there really isn't much to say that the above, and my previous entry (Sophie Sommer's, which ended up being about Gunter Hesse), didn't already cover. Addy simply isn't a very interesting/developed character. But here I go anyway.

Addy's parents are, of course, "Inspector" Louis Dobermann and his wife Inga. Dobermann is the last remaining member of an old wealthy family, likely Junkers, who owns a great estate and lots of land out in the country; Inga married into this. Inga? She's Jewish. That might not sound like much until you recall this story is set in 1930s-40s Germany. So...yeah. Dobermann wasn't aware of this when they married because Inga isn't practicing and it was never a big part of her life, but it's not like the Nazis care about distinctions like that. Inga spends a good deal of time wondering whether it's worth revealing her secret to anyone; when Lt. Hesse, a family friend who feels he owes the Dobermanns a debt, decides to join the SS, she makes up her mind. Nobody can know, because she doesn't believe there's anyone she can trust. After all, she thought she and Hesse were quite close.

Hesse is actually much closer to Inga's daughter, Adelina. No, not in any pervy way. Flash back a bit. Since he's staying at the Dobermann estate recovering from war injuries and a morphine addiction, he's there when Addy joins the family, and promptly falls in love with the baby girl. No, not in any pervy way. Following the Great War, Hesse has been kind of adrift trying to figure out what his place in the world is, since he's no longer a soldier and the Dobermanns have each other, yet he has no one. (It's hinted he might have been attracted to Inga, but he never told her, and not long after she and Dobermann married. No one ever mentions this, and Dobermann and Inga both trust each other, so although she spends a lot of time in Hesse's company it's never seen as inappropriate, and he never displays any interest in her.) An odd little complication to this is a childhood fantasy Hesse once had of being a noble knight, chosen by a maiden to defend her. Also, he grew up in an orphanage. He keeps his eyes open for this mythical maiden who's supposed to choose him, but has never seen any sign of her. Nobody's ever chosen him so it rather stings. When Inga brings home the new baby ("Louis insists on calling her Addy, but to me she's little Lina") and lets Hesse hold her, she grasps his finger. "It looks like she's chosen you," Inga says with a smile. Hesse just stares at "little Lina." Is it her? Is she the maiden he's supposed to defend? He'd assumed she'd be...older, and in love with him. But he isn't sure how these things work, so he decides this will do.

Dobermann is always busy doing...stuff (I really don't know what), and Inga is often busy helping him with his stuff, which leaves much of Addy's life to Hesse. (Like Inga, he calls her Lina, instead.) He doesn't mind. She gives him a nice distraction from his physical and emotional pain. Since he has trouble sleeping, he often hears her cry at night and takes her for walks around the manor (which also helps his injured hip), singing old German lullabies he himself had once had sung to him in the orphanage. As she gets older, he tells her the same old tales he was told, of noble knights and fair maidens, and Addy has the same dream he once had, that she can find a knight to fight for her. Although properly girly and not technically a tomboy, she's an adventurous sort who spends lots of time exploring the estate, making believe, and occasionally annoying the staff with her overexuberant attitude. The normally staid and serious Hesse puts up with everything she does, and occasionally joins in her adventures, even though the others think it's kind of odd. Whenever she gets upset, he's the one who's there to listen, so his influence starts to rub off on her. Part of that influence happens to include some rather dark and unpleasant feelings about the state of the country and who's to blame for it. Meaning, the Jews.

Inga doesn't notice this until it's become rather ingrained. By then, much of the rest of the country is starting to feel the same way. There's nothing really she can do about it. When it starts to look as if war is on the horizon, Hesse leaves to join the Waffen-SS (this and the war both form much earlier in my story than in reality) (and perhaps technically this should be called the SS-Verfügungstruppe?); the adolescent Addy is heartbroken to lose her only friend (yeah...kind of sad that someone like Hesse is literally her only friend), though he promises he'll come back to her. (She's his maiden, after all, right?)

War does break out, and Hesse is gone for longer than intended, though he does send letters which Addy always receives and reads with great excitement. Aside from "Uncle Gunter's" absence, she doesn't really feel the effects of the war at the isolated estate, and doesn't bother to think much about what it might mean for others. In fact it seems almost like another great adventure, and she looks forward to the day when Hesse returns to tell her all the tales of what he's done.

It's a few years before this finally happens, and not quite in the manner Addy had expected. Hesse returns to the Dobermann estate wounded and limping again; he seems dispirited, though he does light up a bit when Addy runs to throw her arms around him (which really freaking hurts). He can't believe how she's grown up. Although glad to see her and to be back at the estate, he doesn't seem interested in telling war stories, in fact, seems more interested in just forgetting. Addy doesn't understand this, but she doesn't pry. Inga tells Hesse that she knows it isn't what he wanted, but she's glad he won't be returning to the front.

The SS isn't done with Hesse, though. He's offered a transfer a separate branch, the Allgemeine-SS, which deals mostly with bureaucracy and paperwork. Seems harmless, right? Well...not really. These are the guys investigating breaches of "racial hygiene," fancy talk for Aryan Germans consorting with forbidden types like Jews and Roma. Kind of like...exactly what Dobermann did, when he married Inga and fathered Addy. Inga is fully aware of the danger living right under their roof, though Dobermann, Hesse, and especially Addy are clueless. She's also already heard whispered stories about what the SS has been up to, and it involves rounding people up, placing them on trains, and taking them away. First the story was that they were being deported to other countries. But after the camps started appearing, that story changed.

There's such a camp at the edge of the city nearest the Dobermann estate, though it's a smallish labor camp and not an extermination camp; prisoners are occasionally transferred to other camps from there. It's from here that Dobermann returns one day with Tobias Schäfer, who was a doctor before it became illegal for Jews to be doctors. Schäfer was due to be executed when Dobermann literally bought him, for the price of a fancy tapestry. Inga and Addy are curious about the newest member of the household. ("Do you eat babies?" Addy asks him, and Inga is all O_o;; ) (For what little it's worth, I don't think Hesse is the one who gave her that particular idea; he hates the Jews but he isn't completely delusional. Other Nazis often visit the estate and it's likely she chats with them.) Lt. Hesse, on the other hand, is livid. He tries to talk Dobermann into taking the doctor back, but relents when Dobermann makes it damn clear he has no intention of doing any such thing, and since Hesse has been staying with them purely due to Dobermann's courtesy, and has his own city apartment provided by the SS now, he can kindly f**k off and leave if he doesn't like it. (Yeah...obviously, Hesse gets along much better with Inga than with her husband.) Hesse does let Schäfer know, privately, that he'll be keeping a close eye on him, and pointedly calls him "Herr Schäfer" rather than "Herr Doctor." He also stipulates that Dr. Schäfer has to wear a yellow star on his clothes even though he's part of the Dobermann household now; Dobermann himself can't do anything about this, other than ensure he's fully protected while under their roof.

Addy has picked up some bad ideas about the Jews but isn't quite spiteful, yet. She's more curious about Dr. Schäfer than anything. In her typical manner she ends up making friends with him. In an odd turn of events, Hesse warms to him somewhat as well after Schäfer treats him for a serious injury, although they both keep a respectful distance from each other, for obvious reasons. Addy hangs on every word Hesse says, so she tries to figure out why he and the doctor can't get along too well; despite his views, Hesse never deliberately tried to indoctrinate Addy, and in fact has gone out of his way to try to shield her from the more unpleasant aspects of the war, including his exact role in it. Addy genuinely believes the SS are the modern equivalent of the old noble knights who defended Germany from its enemies. Hesse does nothing to disabuse her of this idea. In fact he lies like crazy to help maintain Addy's hopelessly naive view of the world. He's very good at it, so good in fact that he occasionally passes time at the Dobermann estate still indulging Addy's (and his) childish fantasies of knights and maidens, while at the same time ordering the torture and execution of citizens accused of aiding the Jews, including a neighbor of the Dobermanns'. Addy has no idea. She just knows she likes the peaceful sound of the trains passing by at night (when she asks why there are more of them now than there used to be, Hesse says they're carrying soldiers and supplies for the war effort, of course), and she's developed a very strong crush on Hesse, whom she views no longer as like an uncle but as an ideal husband. (He doesn't notice or acknowledge this at first. She's still little Lina to him.)

Addy also gets acquainted with several Wehrmacht soldiers who stay at the Dobermann estate as part of an agreement Dobermann has with the military to protect his assets. These are Sgt. Alger Holt, who is older and somewhat jaded but not bitter like Hesse is; Lt. Senta Werner, whose rank is honorary (her family is rich and influential like the Dobermanns so this was probably some kind of favor) since women generally aren't allowed to fight in the military, yet she wears a uniform and is pretty skilled at fighting and takes her skills very seriously (she's also pretty outspoken, frequently and intentionally embarrassing the naive and proper Addy with her blunt sexual remarks); Sgt. Wilhelm Volker, a friendly young Nazi who is romantically interested in Addy yet she doesn't really notice; PFC Konrad Helmstadt, the youngest of the bunch, efficient and helpful in keeping things running smoothly yet very serious and standoffish (turns out he and Senta have an informal little thing going); and newcomer Sgt. Stephen Gerhardt, who is actually an American spy...and is Jewish. Gerhardt is in contact with the Diamond Network. Certain details I'm giving here are out of order, so let me back up a bit again.

By the time Gerhardt joins the household, Inga is dead...supposedly. Not really--but neither Addy nor Hesse knows this. Er...? Well, Inga got to be good friends with Dr. Schäfer...and ended up confiding her secret in him. When she laments not being able to help somehow, Schäfer tells her to speak with a neighbor and request to be shown the "Jack of Diamonds." Inga is perplexed, but obeys. Her normally cheery neighbor suddenly turns serious and ashen faced at this request and asks where Inga heard about the Jack of Diamonds; Inga is ready to give up on whatever this is, but her neighbor hesitantly arranges for her to return the next day after nightfall, adding that she can't guarantee the Jack of Diamonds will agree to meet with her. Inga realizes she's talking about a person.

She returns the next night and is introduced to a man in a Wehrmacht uniform, though it turns out this is just a disguise and he's not in the military. His name is Josef Diamant, and once Inga learns this, he needs no introduction. EVERYONE knows who Josef Diamant is, even though almost nobody knows what he looks like. Once a jeweler, he started forging documents to aid Jews in escaping the country, and the SS ended up gutting his shop, torturing him with his own jeweler's tools, and shipping him off to the labor camp. (The husk of his shop still stands in the city as a reminder and a warning, the "Der Juwelier" in the window crossed out and replaced with "Der Jude.") There, he was the ringleader of an elaborate plot to trick the commandant into letting down his guard, after which he murdered him and escaped via a secret passageway with the aid of the commandant's stepdaughter. (She had her own reasons for wanting him dead.) He, she, and the handful of other inmates who escaped formed the core of what soon became known as the Diamond Network, a large but loose organization of Jews, escaped prisoners, refugees, other Nazi targets, and sympathizers who utilize the hidden rooms and passageways in their homes to shuttle Nazi victims to safety, as well as engage in occasional acts of what the SS has deemed terrorism. This arm of the Network uses the names of playing cards to refer to specific important individuals (Diamant being the Jack of Diamonds, for example; the labor camp commandant and adjutant the King and Jack of Clubs, things like that), and Diamant is the single individual most wanted by the Nazis. No decent photos exist of him, and he frequently has others act on his behalf (despite literally everyone else's opinion, he dislikes being considered the leader of the Network, and feels everyone is of equal importance), so he's been quite successful in flying under the radar. He agreed to meet with Inga, despite her husband often socializing with Nazis, as he's interested in using her house: It would help fill in a gap in the Network's escape routes. Inga expresses worry about her husband not being in on the plot, and about Hesse living in the household; Diamant replies that the presence of the two, and their actions limiting Nazi occupation of the property, lend Inga some plausible deniability--because this is why Dobermann is always dealing with the Nazis--they keep pushing for access to his property, partly to use it as their own tactical base and partly to try to pin down the Network, yet Dobermann resists their requests. Hesse helps him with this purely out of ignorance. When Diamant requests permission to check out the house's passageways, Inga agrees though she has no clue how he'll do it. He manages, however, and informs her that with a few tweaks, her home will become an important part of the Network. It isn't long before Inga is recruited, along with a good portion of the estate's staff, who help to guide refugees safely through.

These things aren't perfect, though. Once in a while, strange persons are spotted around the property before vanishing, and Hesse and his master sergeant, Schulte, begin to notice. He also notices Inga's behavior has changed somewhat though she insists she's fine; her distraction makes Addy turn to Hesse more for attention, so he has his plate full. One of the reasons Inga is so distracted is that against her intentions, she's fallen in love with Diamant; she kisses him one day, and he admits he feels the same way for her, but he refuses to follow through: "I know you love your husband, and I know you'd never forgive yourself if we went through with this." He assures her things will be better again someday. Unfortunately, a visiting Nazi comes across evidence of the Network's activity within the household, and confronts Inga when she's alone, forcing her to shoot and kill him to defend herself. Sgt. Holt arrives--although not part of the Network, he isn't very surprised to learn of its presence, and he isn't a member of the Nazi party either so he's loyal to Inga. While they're trying to figure out what to do, Diamant--then Dobermann--show up. Awkward. Although beyond confused--as well as royally pissed off (he HATES being left in the dark)--Dobermann quickly takes charge, instructing Diamant to shuttle Inga to safety and into hiding while he and Holt come up with the cover story that she killed the Nazi in self-defense, and was herself killed in the act. Her body was taken to relatives of hers as per her own wishes. It's kind of a flimsy story but the best they can do, and they count on Lt. Hesse's loyalty to Inga to dispel any further questions. Diamant departs with Inga--she doesn't get the chance to tell Addy goodbye, which would jeopardize the plan anyway--and Dobermann and Holt implement the coverup. Just as planned, when Hesse learns of what happened, he's too shocked and grief stricken to question it much, and his devotion to the Dobermann family ensures the rest of the SS won't look too closely.

Addy is especially anguished--she was much closer to her mother than to her emotionally distant and rather forbidding father--so as usual, she turns to Hesse for comforting. Between this, the rest of his work, and his dedication to Inga, he doesn't have the time or inclination to question the situation too much. If anything, his lies to Addy grow even more egregious as he tries to shield her from all the horror going on around her. Meanwhile, at first there's the concern that Inga being removed from active participation in the Network (she changes her appearance and goes into hiding as the maid of a neighbor--within walking distance of her home and family, yet unable to meet with them again) will mean an end to the Dobermann property being part of their escape system, since Dobermann himself was never part of the Network, and given all his interactions with the Nazis--not all of them negative--his allegiances are unknown. All the personal staff who've been involved are very nervous. A small group of refugees arrives at the estate, unaware of the changes that have taken place; Dobermann gets word of this and instructs they be taken to the kitchen. Everyone waits there anxiously until Dobermann appears, glares at them, then opens up an unused passageway hidden in the pantry. He instructs them to start taking a new route through the household from now on, in case the first one was compromised. They obey...and that's basically the extent of Dobermann's involvement in the Diamond Network. He allows his staff to resume operations shuttling people through, but he himself has nothing more to do with it. Although he doesn't show it, like Hesse and Addy, he's too caught up in grief over losing Inga--despite her still being alive--and despite that whole being Jewish thing. It turns out he really doesn't care about that. He would have loved and supported and protected her anyway.

It's into this environment that Sgt. Gerhardt arrives, ostensibly to assist the Wehrmacht in protecting the Dobermann property, in reality to spy on Nazi activities. He gets in touch with the Trench Rats, then with the Diamond Network--the latter entirely on accident, when he notices a breeze coming out of nowhere and manages to locate one of the passageways. He explores a bit, and is surprised to come face to face with a man with numbers tattooed on his arm, who points a revolver at him and plays Russian roulette until Gerhardt panics and tells him to check the seam in his uniform under his arm. The man cuts the seam open and finds a Star of David necklace. Although Diamant thinks Gerhardt is foolish and a potential liability, he brings him on board. Gerhardt is in a precarious but decent position to know all the estate's goings-on, having befriended the other Wehrmacht soldiers present as well as socializing with Addy and Hesse. Hesse's connection to the household perplexes him, while Hesse never entirely trusts him yet tolerates his presence. He finds himself unintentionally competing with not just Hesse but another Nazi, Sgt. Wilhelm Volker, for Addy's attention--Volker is romantically interested in Addy (and is much closer to her age), while Addy is interested in Hesse (old enough to be her dad, considers himself a sort of uncle, and by now has a mistress--a genuine "maiden" of his own--anyway), and Gerhardt thinks he's just interested in getting info yet Volker is increasingly convinced he's interested in Addy too. Complicated. Both Diamant and Hesse express disapproval of Gerhardt getting too involved with Addy since both of them view themselves as her protectors, so, yeah. That's a lot of male attention for one young woman to have.

Addy still clings to her dream of wedding her own noble knight, whom she's pretty sure is Hesse. When she learns of Hesse's actual love--nightclub singer Sophie Sommer--she has mixed feelings. On the one hand, she looks down on Sophie as being rather "degenerate" and lower class, definitely not good enough for Hesse; on the other hand, she envies Sophie terribly, with her pale skin and blond hair and blue eyes. Addy takes after her mother, and for the first time in her life, she's ashamed. No matter how beautiful everyone reminds her her mother was, she wants to be the Aryan ideal, rather than its exact opposite. It doesn't matter that Volker is right there, not caring that she has black hair and brown eyes; Hesse is the one she wants, and she's not good enough for him. She starts growing bitter. Visiting the city one day, she grows reckless and falls in the water, so Hesse has to jump in and swim her to safety, endangering his own life; when they return to the estate, Dobermann's only reaction to his daughter is to snap, "Foolish!" right in her face and storm off. Addy expresses her feelings to Hesse, who is sympathetic and tries hard not to embarrass her when he lets her down. Yet Addy is heartbroken.

Addy finally gets her first peek at the outside world not being as normal and business-as-usual as Hesse and almost everyone else has insisted. Late one night, another visiting Nazi strays into the private part of the household and, meeting Addy by herself, attempts to assault her (she tries to scare him off by reminding him that Hesse, a well-known and decorated SS officer, lives there, at which he jeers, "Do you see him standing here right now, Fräulein?"). Before he can get far, however, a strange man with mismatched eyes pops out of the wall and puts the Nazi in a headlock, hissing, "I don't think you heard the young Fräulein right, she told you nein"--and stabs him to death. He then approaches Addy and says, "You truly don't know?--what's really on all those trains?"--indicating that he has knowledge of her private conversations with Hesse. Appropriately freaked out, Addy flees, yelling for help; she attracts the attention of the Wehrmacht officers, who come running to investigate. Helmstadt checks out the hall where Addy claims the attack occurred--yet finds nothing. No strange man, no body. Addy looks as well and there's just nothing there. The officers suggest she dreamed the incident; she's PRETTY sure she didn't, yet can think of no other explanation, so retreats to her room, bewildered and dismayed. The next day she describes the intruder to Hesse--a very thin, dark-skinned man, one light eye and one dark, with his head shaved and wearing a striped shirt with a black triangle and a "Z" on it. Hesse confides privately in Schulte--Addy has accurately described a camp prisoner, specifically one who is Zigeuner, or Roma/Sinti ("Gypsy")--people with whom she's had no contact. In other words, the Diamond Network clearly has access to the Dobermann estate, something Hesse already suspected but can't prove. He steps up security at the estate, and even ends up executing another neighbor after she's found to be concealing the whereabouts of a Network member, yet the access points to the Dobermann household remain hidden.

Addy gradually picks up more knowledge of what's really going on. Gerhardt endangers himself by outing his real identity to try to convince her he knows what he's talking about when he says she can't trust Hesse and his fellow SS officers. But why should she believe this guy she knows nothing about? This American guy, no less? She tries talking to Dr. Schäfer since he's the only other person besides Hesse she finds trustworthy (plus Schäfer saved Hesse's life in the past, so he can't be that bad, for a Jew); Schäfer ends up showing her a hidden passage leading into his room. Addy had known of SOME of the passages, but just a few, and the more obvious ones. This one?--she had no clue it existed. He claims the house is riddled with them, including ones passing near her own room, and if one goes through them, they can hear her inside. So okay, that's creepy, but it explains the strange disappearing man from before, both how he appeared and disappeared so quickly as well as how he knew what Addy had discussed with Hesse.

Her first meeting with Diamant is pretty awkward since it turns out it isn't her first time meeting him--she'd actually DANCED with him, at a ball that was attended by some other SS officers. Addy had been despondent that Hesse couldn't attend due to his work, when another officer asked to dance with her instead. This was Diamant, again in disguise, trying to gauge the situation at the Dobermann estate. When he left, he told her his name was Josef. Afterward, Hesse's suspicions were aroused when Addy mentioned the SS officer she danced with having black hair and brown eyes like hers--not impossible, but also not very common. On learning that his name is Josef, Hesse is especially uneasy. This would mean Diamant managed to get right into the household in broad daylight and could have even killed Addy if he'd wished. (Of course Hesse suspects him of wanting to do this, when Diamant is interested in no such thing.) Anyway, Addy doesn't react well to being confronted with evidence of so many lies all at once, especially since it means the entire world she's believed in for so long is just...fake.

Lukas Mettbach is the icing on the cake, though. She recognizes Diamant's associate as the "Zigeuner"--Sinto--who'd stabbed the Nazi to death, and asked her about the trains. He has some choice words about Hesse. "Has he told you what's really on those trains yet?" he asks, and when Addy gives Hesse's answer, he laughs: "Your good SS friend is lying to you, Fräulein. You want the truth so bad? Why don't you ask him about the camps? Trains, camps, they're all the same after all."

She has no idea what any of that means, but the Diamond Network is way too overwhelming for her, so she manages to escape the estate and head to the city in the hopes of finding Hesse and having him clear some things up. She runs into Major Jan Delbrück, the labor camp adjutant, instead. (Delbrück previously had a disagreement with Hesse, and the two had a duel.) He asks her what's wrong, seeming concerned, yet when she starts babbling about Hesse and trains and camps and the SS and this weird Zigeuner and everything, he seems far less interested in talking to her. When she expresses anger about how everyone is keeping her in the dark, he offers to show her the camp so she can see for herself what's really happening. (Turns out that Delbrück hates his job but does it because somebody has to, and honestly, it was far worse under the previous commandant.) Although the current commandant has attempted bettering camp conditions, Addy is still horrified to see what exactly a "labor camp" is, and Delbrück doesn't make things any easier when he mentions that there are camps far, far worse, where nobody gets out alive. The trains she likes to listen to at night are in fact full of prisoners headed to their deaths. Addy tries to excuse Hesse by saying he can't possibly know what's going on, to which Delbrück replies that the SS is responsible for the camps--ALL of them know exactly what's going on.

Lukas sneaks into the Dobermann estate again, and confronts Hesse himself, stabbing him repeatedly before being scared off; Schulte finds his boss and carries him to Dr. Schäfer's room for treatment. Addy creeps in to stay by his bedside, still hoping against hope that he isn't the person everyone is saying he is. As long as she's in his company, he's the kind, selfless Hesse she's always known, and it's Lukas she finds herself angry about instead (surely, this incident means the Diamond Network truly is the terrorist organization the SS claims it is). When she's gone, however, Hesse calls in Schulte. He wants the name of the Sinto who keeps targeting the household. Schulte does some digging--i. e., terrorizing local citizens--and manages to figure out that he's Lukas Mettbach, a former prisoner of the labor camp who escaped along with Josef Diamant; his nickname is "The Cat" due to his tendency of sneaking into places undetected at night, as well as the fact he's survived as long as he has (he's been in three different camps and was never selected for death, quite a feat for a Zigeuner). Hesse plans to change that. He puts out a challenge for Lukas to respond to him. Diamant is really pissed off about the whole situation and attempts to forbid it but Lukas, who isn't quite right in the head after all the stuff he's been through, accepts the challenge, "meeting" Hesse at an abandoned church; from a safe hiding spot (I mean, he's not COMPLETELY stupid) he jeers Hesse's false sense of faith (both are Catholic, Hesse obviously non-practicing), but Hesse doesn't care. He vows to kill Lukas's entire family one by one, himself, if he has to. Lukas just laughs: "What family? Your people already killed them all. What are you going to do, SS man, dig up their ashes and kill them again?" Hesse does the next best thing--he visits the labor camp and informs a visitor, Josef Mengele, that a train full of Sinti prisoners will be arriving soon if he's interested in some new test subjects. Considering that Lukas himself is one of Mengele's victims, this action is especially nasty, even for Hesse.

Addy meets Diamant again and lambastes him--the unprovoked attack on Hesse was proof that the SS was right in targeting the Diamond Network. Diamant insists Lukas acted of his own accord, but he can't deny that he himself will take action against Hesse if he has to. Addy's diatribe turns ugly and hateful, with her blaming the Zigeuner and Jews for the war and even for her mother's death; Diamant is briefly struck mute, before steeling himself and requesting her to accompany him to her neighbor's home. He wants her to meet somebody. "Another one of your Jew Network friends?" Addy jeers, to which Diamant replies, "You could say that." She knows it could be dangerous, but goes anyway. The neighbor, to Addy's surprise, greets Diamant in a friendly manner, then pales when she sees Addy; Diamant tells her that it's time, and she leaves the room. She returns a moment later with the housemaid, who looks at Addy and softly says, "Lina...?" Addy blinks--this woman is blond, but her face is unmistakable. It's Inga Dobermann.

So this is when Addy learns that not only is the "noble" SS shipping people off to camps to be murdered en masse and Hesse MUST know about it, and most of her own household is involved in an underground network attempting to thwart this, but her mother is still alive as well, and is part of this network, and oh, that's right, she's Jewish. Making Louis Dobermann a criminal who broke the racial hygiene laws, and Addy herself a Jew, too. Suddenly a lot of things make sense. Addy is overjoyed to have her mother back, but the rest of it...she doesn't know what to think.

Things have obviously reached a turning point, with Lukas's actions endangering the Network's activities and Allied forces reported to be drawing close to the city, so Diamant decides it's time for the Dobermann family to move to safety. Inga's return to the estate catches almost everyone off guard, but the two who react the strongest are Lt. Hesse, and PFC Helmstadt. Hesse, shocked to learn of his old friend being alive--and Jewish--stumbles at first but then orders Sgt. Volker to help him take the Dobermanns into custody; Diamant shoots and wounds Volker as a warning. Hesse pulls his own gun--but Addy jumps into his line of fire and he hesitates, unable to shoot her. Then Helmstadt draws his gun, screaming that Dobermann, who he served so loyally, is nothing but a filthy race traitor, and attempts to execute him right there. Volker shoots and kills him, and Diamant shoots and kills Hesse. Addy cries out in anguish but she, her parents, and Dr. Schäfer are quickly spirited away by Diamant and Sgt. Gerhardt while the other Wehrmacht officers remain behind to keep any approaching Nazis off their trail. They make use of their own hidden passageways and Network assistance to escape to the mountains, where they remain in hiding as the city falls to the Allies...sans Diamant, however, who returns to assist in the liberation of some of the final prisoners, but ends up captured himself. Lukas and the other members of the Network fail to save him and can only watch helplessly as the SS force him onto a train and carry him away to be terminated.

Addy realizes that, despite her lingering feelings for Hesse, she never could have been with him. She finds she has similar feelings, albeit free of all her childish fantasies of knights and maidens, for Sgt. Gerhardt. He's never shown any overt romantic interest in her, but his words and actions, including risking his life and position by revealing his true identity to her, make it clear he cares about her as well. They marry after the war ends, making the mountain town their new home, and are surprised when a gift belatedly arrives through the post: matching wedding rings, and a jack of diamonds card. The Allies managed to stop one of the final prisoner trains from reaching the extermination camp, and Josef Diamant is still alive.

Major SPOILERS for the ending of the story here, which is where the plot kind of goes off the rails. I've never discussed this part of the story so directly as I will here, and after all the previous stuff it might not be what one would expect from this series, so, you were warned.

Not long after, the events of the final story arc, Ultima Thule, take place. I'm not sure what role exactly Addy plays in this yet, though she and her parents do accompany Gerhardt, Diamant, and several others to the Alpine Fortress after hearing that the Nazis' medical experiment "Project Doomsday," now renamed Project Ultima Thule, is still going, under the guidance of Nazi doctors who escaped capture by the Allies. Project Doomsday, which focused on the creation of an "Übermensch" or super soldier with heightened intelligence, strength, stamina, and ability to withstand pain, has shifted focus after receiving input from Dr. Mengele; Project Ultima Thule is now attempting the literal resurrection and immortality of its subjects.

(In other words, ZOMBIE NAZIS! Just kidding. Sort of. The term "zombie" is never used anywhere in this story, I promise.)

The project is unfortunately already well under way by the time the remaining Allies get involved (the Trench Rats send their own group to deal with the rodent faction of the Nazi doctors at the same time), and they're horrified to learn that the original project's main limitation, the serum working only on a specific, extremely rare blood type, has been overcome, making the improved serum effective on anyone with an intact brain. Er, yep. Literally all you require is your brain to be in one piece. This explains why someone like Master Sergeant Schulte, who was shot in the head by a Diamond Network member before he could leave the city, isn't part of the project...yet Lt. Hesse and PFC Helmstadt, who were both shot in the chest, are. (Presumably, after Addy and the others fled, their bodies were taken away by Nazis involved in the project.) Bizarrely, the group finds these two alive again, though they're wearing strange new uniforms: Since the SS funded and oversaw the project, participants, whether they're SS or not, have been outfitted in unusual white Schutzstaffel uniforms (perhaps to match the snowy environment) with a broken sun cross swastika, the emblem of the Thule Society. Not all bugs in the project have been worked out yet; living subjects who are given the serum look and behave the same as before, whereas those who were brought back to life acquire a hazy blue tint to their eyes (similar to how the eyes cloud over after death), have no memory of their previous life, and, well, act quite zombielike, mute and blindly obedient to whatever orders they've been programmed with or given, even if it results in injury or termination. (Immortality isn't absolute--if the brain is destroyed, they die again.) (Fun fact, this part here is likely similar to the programming Lance Corporal Doomsday Rat went through combined with the original serum.)

So, here's Addy's friend Hesse again, except he's basically a Nazi zombie and he can't be reasoned with since he doesn't recognize anyone except as a target. Project members are skilled at protecting their heads from attack so it's near impossible for the group to kill him, despite them wounding him repeatedly. (They aren't aware yet of this weakness anyway.) The Trench Rats faction ends up assisting here, when their chief surgeon, Burgundy, discovers that a particular drug (I haven't figured out which yet) has a sort of countereffect on the serum, wiping the subjects' programming and making them conscious and autonomous again. The group gets hold of this drug and uses it on Hesse. It sparks quite an unusual reaction, seeming incredibly painful...yet after it wears off, he sits up and immediately feels at his chest, then starts looking around himself in a panic, demanding to know where he is and what's happening. When asked what's the last thing he remembers, he thinks hard, saying, "Cold...sunlight...Sophie...you, shooting me"--glaring at Diamant. He has no memory of being resurrected for the project, and insists he had no knowledge of its continuation in this new form--he was never involved in Project Doomsday. He's devastated to learn that not only has the Third Reich fallen, but his good friend Schulte, as well as Sophie--and their unborn child--are dead. (Sophie committed suicide after learning of Hesse's death.) At first he refuses to help the group, seeing he has no purpose left, until Gerhardt points something out: When Hesse listed the last things he remembered as he died, he mentioned Sophie, standing in the sunlight. Neither he nor Sophie were anywhere near each other at the times of their deaths. This seems to indicate an afterlife might exist, and Sophie is waiting for him there.* If he can help them find a way to end the project, he might also be able to find peace. Hesse is skeptical, but agrees.

(*Like in my other storylines, passing over isn't an instantaneous process. Hesse died before Sophie, but not that long before, plus there's a "purgatory" period for certain individuals like Hesse, which could explain this discrepancy. WTF is all this? This is me envisioning a happier ending for my characters who were completely screwed over at the end, because it really does bother me that much. Shut up and let me envision.)

The group meets up with some of the others they'd left behind, including the Dobermanns. Both Hesse and Addy are stunned to meet each other again; Addy actually creeps back behind her mother, which crushes Hesse inside. She no longer sees him as the knight come to rescue her, or even as her trusted uncle. Still, he resolves to try to help them destroy the project. This includes dealing with the resurrected Helmstadt, who antagonizes them throughout much of the story as they have no success getting him the antidote until later--and it turns out to make no real difference, since he's still devoted to the failed Nazi cause (despite NEVER BEING A MEMBER OF THE PARTY, what is up with you, Helmstadt). This entire plotline is still quite vague, so I'm not sure of all that happens, but I do know that Hesse ends up sacrificing himself somehow to ensure the project headquarters will be destroyed while the others escape--probably this involves rigging or setting off some sort of destructive device while keeping Helmstadt at bay. As the snow and ice cascade down at him he shuts his eyes and murmurs, "Sophie," before being buried (and, presumably, crushed to death along with Helmstadt); similarly, Dobermann sacrifices himself so both he and Diamant don't end up falling to their deaths, though before he does, he tells Diamant to look after Inga. He knows the two of them love each other.

(These scenarios played themselves out in my head some time after I finished typing this. I believe now what happens is that Diamant nearly falls anyway after Dobermann forces him to let him go, but is then pulled to safety by Hesse; so I typed those out of order, and Hesse is the second one to go.)

There's a massive explosion and avalanche after the group reaches safety, and it's assumed everyone else remaining within, the Nazi doctors and whatever other test subjects they have (along with Major Ludolf Jäger, who led the rodent faction the Trench Rats were dealing with), are killed. Projects Doomsday and Ultima Thule are finally brought to an end, but not before Addy loses two of the most important people in her life; despite their victory, the group heads back home to mourn.

...Hey look at that, I wrote a bunch of crap anyway.

[Adelina Dobermann 2022 [‎Friday, ‎June ‎3, ‎2022, ‏‎5:48:16 AM]]

#artists on tumblr #ibisPaint x #SketchDaily #original characters

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pearlsdiamondsandvodka · 3 years

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the penumbra podcast has somehow managed to make me even more queer

#and that’s not an easy feat! bc I’m already quite queer yknow #but the amazing queer romantic relationships made me yearn like nothing else and made me even more confident in what I want #the nonbinary rep and how gender and gender norms are treated really made me go ‘hey I can explore with my gender and it would be ok’#the way the queer rep is just so casual is adding years to my life span y’know #i owe you my life sophie and kevin <3 #thank you for your amazing work #anyway raise your hand if you’ve been personally queer-ized by the penumbra podcast #the penumbra podcast #junoverse #Juno steel #the second citadel #Juno steel and what lies beyond

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imherongraystairstrash · 2 years

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Why do I really want a sad fic where Tessa and Jem watch as all of the TID gang dies and eventually TLH ones and they’re on all of their death beds and it has reactions and stuff and then cut to like 2012-15 and they’re with Mina and kit laying flowers for them somewhere. What the heck is wrong with my mind. But also could you please write this your the only one I trust to give justice to it 👉👈

ANON I'll have you know that writing this fic had me crying at 2 am. I couldn't follow your request to a T, because I quickly realized that it would be long as hell (It's like 2,600 words rn, imagine if I had written even more). But yeah, I hope it breaks your heart into a million pieces and that the end will put them all back together again. Also, thank you for believing in me! You're the sweetest <3

Title: Until we meet again

tw: mentions of suicide

---

Tessa didn’t realize the life she took for granted until she was forced to. She knew she had to enjoy the years she had with her friends who had become family, her nieces nephews, her own children, her husband. And yet, the end had always seemed so distant to her. There were times when even she forgot that while everybody else was aging around her, she’d remain frozen in time. She stayed the same, right where they left her.

She never let herself think about who would be her first goodbye and who’d be her last. She didn’t let herself ponder over whose company she should enjoy before it’s too late.

Inevitably, her friends began to pass away. First Gideon, then Henry, both their deaths a stab to Tessa’s heart. She comforted Sophie, her dearest friend, who lost so much already. At that time, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose her own husband. She fought the urge to run away before the time would come, but she knew she would forever loath herself if she abandoned Will in his last moments of life. She also knew that she wanted to be there; she had wanted to spend as much time with Will as possible, before it was too late.

Now, Tessa stared at her reflection in the mirror. There were bags hanging under her eyes, shadows on her face that had not been there a week ago. It had been three days. Each day took more out of her. She thought about how her life was meant to stretch out for eternity, and how that eternity would be spent stuck in the past, thinking about the days she’d spent with Will and her friends. How could she possibly live another lifetime without her loved ones?

There was a small comfort in the fact that every year, she’d still be able to see Jem, even if he was a faded version of the Jem she’d met and fallen in love with years ago. Her darling Jem, who had held her after Will was gone.

Dread filled Tessa’s heart as she remembered. Will was gone. Forever.

The thought of continuing on with her life was unbearable, but even more unbearable is the thought of having to watch all of her loved ones pass away, one by one. She couldn’t put herself through that heartache. She’d made a vow to stay by Will’s side until death did them part, and so she’d stayed. Because she treasured every memory she could make with him.

But now, she had to leave, for she wasn’t sure she could stand and watch another death. Could not take another night of standing on her balcony, one of the many she and Will had added to The Institute, and looking down at the ground below. Of wondering whether living really was worth all of this suffering. Contemplating following where Will had gone.

She knew she couldn’t; after reading the letter he left behind, she owed it to Will to continue on with her life.

She took a deep breath out and squared her shoulders. The day that awaited her would be one of her most difficult, but she must go through with it if she didn’t want to drown in her own despair.

Tessa stood up and opened the door. She turned around and looked at the room she’d slept in most of her life, the one she’d shared with Will. Leaving it behind was like adding salt to the wound, but staying there was like a dagger to the heart. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and walked out. The second she closed the door behind her, she leaned against it. She allowed herself a couple of minutes to collect herself before straightening and walking away.

She’d said goodbye to her grandchildren the night before, making them promise they would obey their parents and never forget where they came from. She’d planted a kiss on each of their heads and forced herself not to cry, to be strong. She’d then said goodbye to her remaining nieces and nephews who’d come to say goodbye; Christopher, Alexander, Eugenia, Matthew. She hugged each of them tightly, remembering when they were just babies, when they were children, adolescents. She remembered watching them fall in love and getting their hearts broken. Watching them mature and become adults.

She shed a few tears saying goodbye, though she allowed the rest of the tears to stream down her face once they left.

She walked into the parlor. When Sophie, Charlotte, Cecily and Gabriel all turned around, she couldn’t help but choke on her tears. Gabriel was the first to say goodbye. He embraced her and said, “we may have married into the strangest family known to mankind, but at least we had fun.” Tessa laughed through tears, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Thank you for being the sister I never had.” He said.

“Thank you for being the brother I never had.” she replied, trying to hold herself together.

She pulled away and saw Cecily—who, over the years, had never lost her beauty—waiting for her. Tessa let her fold her into an embrace.

“Tessa,” she said, stroking her hair. “I never thought anyone could fill the void Ella left in my heart, until you came along. I could think of no one more suitable for my brother.”

“Cecy, if everybody were as loving as you are, the world would be the most wonderful place to live in.”

Cecily pulled away and looked at her with blue eyes that were the same shade as Will’s. “You will be the one to teach the world to love again, Tessa. I know you will.”

Tessa felt a fresh wave of tears stream down her face.

“Promise me you will wake up every single day and choose to love.”

Tessa nodded, “I promise, Cecy.”

Cecily put a hand to her cheek and embraced her one more time.

Sophie was smiling, holding her arms out to her. Tessa practically threw herself into them, crying with newfound intensity.

“My dearest friend,” Sophie said, her voice shaking. “What would I have done without you?”

“Oh Sophie, I love you so much.”

“And I you. I couldn’t have asked for a better companion.”

“Sophie, I don’t know how to continue on with my life.”

“I know Tessa, but I don’t have any doubts that you will find out. Be strong, my friend. Life will never throw a challenge at you that you are not capable of overcoming.”

They stood there embracing for many long minutes. They were each other’s first friend. Each other’s most treasured friend. Sophie’s life had been filled with heartache and suffering. Tessa knew that she could live on because her friend had shown her it was possible. Sophie had never given up and Tessa would do her best to follow in her footsteps, even if soon there will be no more footsteps to follow.

Finally, it was time to say goodbye to Charlotte. Tessa didn’t think her body had anymore tears to shed, but she was proven wrong when she looked into Charlotte’s dark eyes for that last time. She couldn’t help but be reminded of the first time they met, when Charlotte had been a stranger in a frightening new world. Tessa wanted to collapse in Charlotte’s arms. She cried for all of the times Charlotte had been there for her and looked after her, fighting for her when the Clave had been keen on throwing her out on the streets when she was sixteen. She wept for Henry, who wasn’t there for her to embrace.

“Charlotte, thank you so much.” Tessa said.

“No, thank you, darling Tessa. You taught me so much. You are the reason I wanted to be consul; so I could teach the Nephilim how wonderful downworlders are.”

Tessa hugged her tighter. “I would be lost without you.”

Charlotte pulled away and kissed her forehead. “Never forget where you came from Tessa. We most certainly won’t forget how you changed us for the better.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Charlotte.”

…

“I hope you can forgive me for leaving you, my lovely children.” Tessa said, as she turned to look at James and Lucie.

They were at the docks, where Tessa would soon board a ship to Paris. She’d already said farewell to Jesse and Cordelia, both of whom now stood at a distance, to give the Herondales some privacy.

Cordelia had cried while hugging Tessa goodbye, thanking her for accepting her when society didn’t want to do the same. Miraculously, Tessa was reminded of her younger self. Perhaps it was all of this thinking about the past that is leading to making these connections.

It was equally saddening to say farewell to Jesse, who thanked her for being the mother he never knew he could have.

Tessa despaired that she had to say goodbye to her children, but she was comforted in knowing she was leaving them in good hands. That they were old enough to not need her taking care or watching over them.

“Of course, Mam.” Lucie said “We understand why you must leave. I only hope you don’t suffer greatly. Life is filled with new beginnings, and you must always embrace them.”

James nodded, not saying anything, but studying her face as if he could commit it to memory.

Tessa pulled them both into a tight embrace, closing her eyes. She was tired of crying all day, but right now, it was impossible not to.

James buried his face in the crook of her neck, like he did when he was a child. Lucie embraced her with the same ferociousness as when she was younger.

After a long moment, Tessa pressed a long kiss on each of their temples. She put a hand on Lucie’s cheek and wiped away a tear. She stroked Jamie’s hair.

“You both bring me immense pride. I know that I could never regret falling in love with your father, because we were able to create the two of you. I treasure you both more than anything else in the world.”

“You are the best mother I could have ever asked for,” James said.

“And you both are the best children I could have asked for. And the best your father could have asked for as well.”

Lucie’s lip quivered, the whites of her eyes red. “I love you so much, Mam.”

“I love you too.” Tessa said. She embraced each of them once more, before she had to board the ship.

…

Once the anchors were raised and the ship was slowly edging away from the docks, Tessa turned around and looked at her children for the last time. She lifted her hand in salute. Until we meet again, she said in that gesture. They both answered by raising their own.

…

Tessa hauled her trunk up the stairs of Magnus’ flat in Paris. Once upon a time, on a night that felt centuries ago, he’d invited her to stay with him, once Will departed from this world.

She knocked on the door, and took a step back, waiting with her hands clasped in front of her. While she waited, she realized that there was a possibility Magnus wouldn’t be home. In that case, she didn’t know what she’d do. She had a novel in her trunk, though she had become saddened by the fact that reading had lost the comfort it once provided her with. Every time she looked at a novel, memories of cuddling close to Will would flood back to her. Of reading together, Will pulling her tight in his arms and dropping a kiss on top of her head every time he’d turn the page. The same way that every time Tessa finished a chapter, she’d tilt her head up and kiss the underside of his jaw.

Tessa was lost in thought when Magnus’ door opened.

“Who dares disturb- Tessa?” His eyes dropped to the trunk beside her. “Oh, Tessa.” He said, realizing why she was there.

Tessa looked up at Magnus, into his gold-green cat eyes, and found sadness in them, understanding. Tessa’s chin quivered. She had not allowed herself to cry on the boat to France, nor the carriage ride to Magnus’ residence. But now, looking into the eyes of a friend who understood her exact pain, she couldn’t stop the steady stream of tears that flowed from her eyes.

“Magnus, it hurts worse than I could have possibly imagined.” She said, gasping.

“I know, Tessa. Believe me, I know.”

He put his arms around her and embraced her tight. Tessa scrunched her eyes closed and wept until her eyes refused to produce anymore tears.

…Cirenworth, 2014…

Tessa watched Kit and Mina play in the meadow. She was reminded of another summer, over a century ago, watching her lovely Lucie play with Cordelia when they were little girls. She tried to remember where James had been, what Will had been doing, but she couldn’t remember. She probably had it written down somewhere, in one of her many journals, along with all of her treasured possessions like her copy of “The Beautiful Cordelia”.

Tessa managed to smile. The pain was intense, and there were still days she couldn’t help but mourn the loss of her children, but she felt incredibly lucky to be alive right now; to have had the opportunity to build a new family. She was grateful her life hadn’t ended long ago. Will was right; her story hadn’t been nearly over when he’d passed.

She felt arms go around her and a chin rest on her shoulder. Tessa leaned her head against Jem’s and exhaled.

“What are you thinking about?” He muttered against her ear.

Tessa closed her eyes and was thankful that Jem understood. “I miss them too.”

“At least I have you, Mina and Kit to keep me company. The pain used to be much greater.”

Jem didn’t say anything, but she knew he understood. Tessa and Jem knew and understood each other well enough that they often didn’t need to voice how they felt for the other to know. Kit called it their “tele-parent-cy”

“What?” Jem had asked when he’d first said it.

“Instead of telepathy, it’s tele-parentcy, because you’re parents.” Kit said.

“Oh, is that a ‘pun’ as you call them?”

“Yeah! You’re learning fast Jem. Maybe you’re ready for me to teach you about Tumblr.”

“Please don’t.” Tessa said. She remembered the days of Tumblr’s reign all too well.

Tessa smiled at the memory. Jem pressed a kiss to her temple. “There’s that smile.”

Tessa looked up at him. “One hundred and forty years, and you’d think you’d tire from it already.”

“Never,” Jem said, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Mina! Close your eyes; you’re too young to witness what the parental units are doing!”

Tessa broke off into a laugh, “Why do you have to use words like ‘parental units’?”

Kit shrugged with a smile. Mina came running to her parents and hugged Jem’s legs and showed them her flowers.

“Those are some lovely flowers, Mina.” Tessa said.

“This one is for Lucie, and this one’s for Jamie, and this one is for Uncle Will, and these are for James’ friends!”

“I’m sure they’d love them, Mina.” Jem said, kneeling down beside her.

Tessa bit her lip to keep from crying, and looked up at the sky, knowing that, wherever the rest of her family was, they were grinning back at her.

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stephspurs · 3 years

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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Hi besties!! here is the long awaited part 9!! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did whilst writing it!! a big thank you goes to @emwritesfootball for proofing this part & making sure its up to scratch for all of you lovely readers! Let me know what you think babes hehehe!! Love Always, Steph xx

Part 9. | nona parte

word count; 2006. writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. next update; Friday 13/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)! tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven link to fic masterlist here

The season kicked off in the middle of August and Amelia had been more than prepared for her first match in the premier league. She spent day after day analysing the players in the first team, introducing them to the magical world of rehearsed tactics. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for the brilliant girl; she had to learn how to implement the plays coupled with the speed of the game. But so far, so good. Chelsea have been winning and her plays have been working, the boys were getting the hang of it - no matter how apprehensive they were at the start.

Jorgi played a big part in demonstrating the success of the play, performing best in his midfield role to guide the game and direct the change in play to his teammates. By the time they had played a few fixtures, they had really gotten the hang of her approach to set pieces and began to put their trust in the young girl. They were starting to see results and wanted to keep the winning streak going while they could. The fourth fixture in the new season was one that Amelia was looking forward to, personally: Chelsea v Aston Villa, Stamford Bridge, 3pm kick off.

Jack and Amelia had grown closer and closer, FaceTime‘dates’ as Jack would call them, a weekly occurrence. She had spoken to him just as much as she had spoken to Jorgi - and they were still carpooling to and from Cobham together. Her friendship with Jack was full of easy conversation and flirtatious banter, teetering over the line of friendship but being that they were kept physically apart, the friendship line remained largely intact. One person that had drifted even further away from her, despite her believing that it couldn't be possible, was Ben Chilwell.

Every time she walked into a room that he was in, if he didn't have to be there he would immediately leave. Amelia didn’t understand what the problem was. Yeah sure, they were flirty together in Mykonos but they never crossed a line together, no matter how many times the wine went straight to their heads. If anything, she should be the one running away from him. She was the one who sent him a couple of messages here and there that he just opened. She spoke to Mason, Jorgi, Billy Gilmour - who was another one of the boys she had developed a strong friendship with - and all of them insisted they didn’t understand their friend's strange behaviour.

On the evening before the Villa match, Amelia was laying on the couch in her townhouse binge watching yet another docu-series on Netflix when her doorbell rang. This was strange, most people that came past the house these days had their own set of keys (her parents, her brother, Jorgi) or they texted to let her know they were outside. Her townhouse was three stories high, so if she was upstairs on the top level vacuuming the chances of her hearing the door were slim to none. Either way, she got up off of her loveseat and walked to the front door, peeking through the peephole - she lived in London, alone, she wasn’t opening that door until she knew exactly who was on the other side.

______________________________________________________________

“To what do I owe this visit, Benjamin?”

“Hi, Mils.”

“Wow, nickname basis already - I thought only friends called each other by their nicknames.”

“Did you think we weren’t friends?”

“Well, friends don’t treat friends the way you’ve treated me since the evening I left Mykonos.”

With a sigh, Ben looked down at his feet. I did feel a small bit of guilt for that one, but he deserved it. Continuing to find the cracks in the marble step of my door’s threshold more interesting than facing my expression, I took a step back and forced Ben to look up at me.

“Well, are you going to come inside? I’ve got the kettle on and a really good series going that I would like to get back to.”

With a charming smile, Ben took a step forward, took the door handle out of my hand and shut it behind him. Slipping out of his shoes, he followed me down the short hallway to my kitchen and pulled a seat out at the island bench.

“So, really now - why are you here? Nervous about tomorrow?” I questioned as I took two cups out of the cupboard and brewed one tea for him, one coffee for me. 3 years in Italy and coffee in the evening became the norm for me. It was my comfort drink.

“I’m here to apologise for the way I've been acting towards you for the past six weeks. I’ll be honest, I don’t know why I’ve been like this”

“Cut the crap Ben, you know exactly why you’ve been doing it. Now tell me the truth or, as far as I'm concerned, you never came here tonight and tomorrow we will be back to how we were yesterday - you running away from me and me pretending that it doesn't bother me. Even though all it does is bother me.” Not expecting that outburst to come out of me, and to be fair neither did I, Ben looked me in the eye and stayed silent, choosing his next words carefully.

“The first time I saw you, the night you told your brother off in the rec room at St. George’s Park, I thought you were the most determined woman I had ever seen in my life. Not scared of the 30 grown men who were very obviously all on the same side, literally. Then the next time I saw you, after the final match, how you comforted your brother when you were at the highest of highs and he was lower than low, I thought you had more compassion than every person in that stadium put together.”

“When you came to SGP again the next day and delivered the tactical analysis of the game you won, I thought ‘wow she is so intellectually brilliant’. And then when you turned up in Mykonos, all sunkissed and relaxed, sitting next to me and involving me in conversation with my pals but making me feel like you wanted my contribution...I remember it like it was yesterday. Amelia, you smiled at me and my heart did a somersault in my chest.”

“You shut me down outside the club that evening, and when we came back inside I caught the end of your conversation with Jorgi about Fede. Putting two and two together, I understood all that I needed to. The few days after that we carried on like normal. Then, you left and I didn't know if I would ever see you again to be fair. When you messaged me, I got too nervous to reply because I didn't know how to just be your friend. And then when I thought I had finally gotten through a day without thinking about my friend's little sister, you showed up at Cobham as my tactical analyst. I didn’t know what to do Mils, I don't know how to be just your friend when I've had nothing but unfriendly thoughts about you since the first time I saw you command that room of men you had never met in your life.”

The whistle of the kettle ringing out behind me is the only noise filling the kitchen. I’m staring at Ben; he’s staring back at me with nothing but truth behind his eyes and his heart on his sleeve.

“Benj, what you were feeling, what you are feeling is totally valid and I never want you to feel like you can’t share those feelings with me. You’re right, Mykonos changed things for me. What you were feeling was reciprocated, but Ben, I was going back to Italy. At that exact moment, I had no idea I would end up here. I thought I was enjoying a break before another high-intensity season in Italy. I wanted to kiss you so badly at the club that night, but I knew it would only hurt you. I’m used to being hurt, it's a feeling I've grown to expect. But you, you’re too pure to experience the kind of hurt that comes along with knowing you’re making a bad decision, but doing it anyway, because I wanted to be selfish with your heart.”

“Amelia, can I ask you something?” I nodded, holding my breath as I braced myself for the question poised behind his eyes. “If you were in the mood to be selfish, what would have come from that evening?”

“I can probably show you better than I can tell you,”

Walking around the island bench, I pulled the back of Ben’s chair slightly so he pivoted towards me. Standing in between his tracksuit-covered legs, I ran both hands up his arms until I got to his neck and finally beside his face. Threading my fingers through his hair, I pulled his face towards mine and our lips met. It was as soft as a butterfly kiss but as powerful as anything I had ever felt before. His hands wound around my waist and settled themselves on the small of my back before travelling down and giving my backside a gentle caress, forcing a laugh out of my lips and straight into his mouth. Pulling away slightly, so we both had a bit of breathing space to sort out our lightheadedness, Ben spoke his next words very softly.

“I need you to promise me something, Amelia.You need to promise me that you will stop thinking about my heart before your own. I am old enough to make my own decisions, and the decision to ignore you for these past few weeks has been one of the worst ones I've made in a really long time. But I did make it, and it was because I got scared, and I hurt you, and I am so sorry. The decision to come here tonight however, I feel like it more than makes up for that one very very stupid one”

“You’re such a smooth talker, Benj.”

“Say my name again, Mils, you don’t know what it does to me.”

“Down boy, your tea is going cold and I need to find out who killed Sophie in West Cork.Meet me in the lounge.”

A few hours had passed and it was nearing 10pm, well past Amelia’s bed time, but Ben was still sitting on her couch, feet on the table (despite her telling him to remove them) and arm around the back of her shoulders.

“Chilly, I don’t want you to think I'm not interested in you because I so am, I just don’t want to rush into anything. What I left behind in Italy was complicated and heavy; I'm still trying to learn how to exist without him if I'm honest. I want you to just give me the space I need to grow into my own here in the city, if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it's okay, Mils. From what Jorgi has told me about Fede, I can understand why you want to take it slow now. But please, don’t call me Chilly. My friends call me Chilly, and Mills. I thought I made it clear before that I don’t want to be your friend.”

“To me, you’re Benj. Thank you. Wait - what do you mean what Jorgi has told you about Fede?”

“I may have asked a couple times about you, and for the record, he is team Bamelia.”

“Bamelia? That is the ugliest word I have ever heard. Never use it again.”

“How can it be ugly? It's mostly your name, and nothing associated with you could ever be considered anything less than beautiful.”

“Stop being so smooth Benj, you’re going to make me blush in a minute.”

“Good, can’t wait to see how you could possibly look even cuter than you do right now.”

“That’s enough Benjamin.”

“Okay I’m done now.”

Part 10. | parte dieci

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spookyvalentine · 2 years

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Kasumi, Thane, Shiala for the character ask meme

OHHHHHHHHH i do be too in love

FIRST IMPRESSION

K: a THIEF??? you give me HEIST??? i studied art history in college, and got very focused on art crime and museum security and made several professors quite anxious, so the first time I played 2 and recruited her, she immediately soared to the top of my fave list

T: oh ho oh HO tiddy window. he is... ooh. him pretty. then he talked. HE'S HOT!!!! uh oh weren't you gonna romance garrus?

S: when she feel out of the thorian i was like wat. i am getting my ass kicked by a plant booger. why are you HERE. WHO ARE YOU

IMPRESSION NOW

K: i will die for you. i wanted to see more of her in 3. i wanted to heist the casino with her. extremely in love, forever and always, and if i wanted to punish myself and make another shepard it'd be to romance her

T: shattered. one of the most deeply romantic LIs out there imo. watching him come alive again. unrecoverable. i'll forever love him. also hes hot as fuck lemme lick him. he didn't die, he blasted kai leng in the face the second he leveled his pistol. i will also go to my grave foaming at the mouth what they did to him

S: wife. omg please benchpress me. the first time i played and had that conversation post-thorian and its like oh. you're badass as fuck. a commando and studied for centuries w benezia? AND THEN SHE FLIRTS W YOU IN 2 AND THERE IS NO OPTION FOR FOLLOW UP???? i thought about that scene all the time. and with the next couple playthroughs, every time i got to see her i was like. oh no youre even prettier. oh no you're even cooler. and now its just terminal brainrot. god i wish we couldve recruited her/romanced her. that would have been mad dope. thank god i am sometimes capable of writing fic

FAVORITE MOMENT

K: ohhhh a toughie. it feels like a cop out to say all of them, but her VA does such a damn good job bringing so much personality into her lines so like even going and checking in on her between missions was a delight to hear her comment on squadmates. that heist was so good tho. hoot every time she jumps on the jet and gives hock that jaunty wave. WHAT A BABE!!! i also love when she goes HAha while in combat

T: when he finally talks about irikah and kolyat. it felt so special and intimate to learn about them. and when he cries before kissing shepard. yes.

S: when shE FLIRTS IN 2 OASIFHLJISUDH but seriously when shes free of the thorian and says she wants to help the colony in recompense. that. meant a lot to me. also i watched the renegade version on yt and the fact that she'll just. let shepard kill her without a fight.... that...... ow

IDEA FOR A STORY

K: well. i've got several fics in the works for her w mercy shepard

- new orleans heist

- vinny (the first man kasumi kills)

- ANDERSON NEVER ARRESTS MERCY AU: CRIMELORD MERCY SHEPARD where kasumi is their right hand, and eventually they end up on the trail of saren. alternate recruitment of squadmates >:)

T: i've got a google doc titled cleaning supplies which um. has been the filth i've been posting in chunks. the other fic for him that i just have a barebones bit is hurt/comfort after mercy visits alchera, beginnings of a romance between them. and of course, sports coach au that i will absolutely start actively writing once i've gotten a couple more "essential" mercy fics done

S: i am working on stellan and shiala's first in-person date after the war, inspired by you, the powerful @yellingaboutmasseffect, where they do the floating howl/sophie walk. and then i like to play around with a full-on howl's moving castle shepala au, that i'd probably post scenes from, rather than any sort of longfic. and im still writing very married sleepy fucking. um. yeah. that's almost complete

UNPOPULAR OPINION

K: i will never regret she's there because she makes my life worthwhile, but why was kasumi recruited in the first place?? she's a thief, not a murder powerhouse

T: can't be considered a dilf til kolyat forgives him and even then, hun, you've got a lot of work to do for your kid (which, he does, of course. but it can't be ignored that thane just. abandoned his child)

S: i think she would've made a more fun companion than liara

FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP

(ignoring shepard)

K: i thought the one she had with the spectre jondam bau was fun. i'd write them going on an interrupted heist-turned-date. or a slow burn enemies to lovers thing. if i had time. i also love that kasumi and samara hang out, referenced in 2

T: thane/irikah, of course! what a powerful couple.

S: i would love to read about shiala studying under benezia, and then the curdling relationship has soverign's indoctrination worms between them. to her being sacrificed to the thorian. and then her learning the death of her teacher. like. there's a lot there and it hurts my feelings when i think about it. love that for me :)

FAVORITE HEADCANON

K: her grandmama. i have her as a badass cat burglar that raised kasumi as not only a beloved grandchild, but also her protege. powerful woman. also cared for mercy, but she dies when kasumi is seventeen

T: that he's got a dick like a vodka tampon

S: she's absolutely ripped. i know it. you know it. we all know it. i like the idea that she's both beefy and intellectual. and in my shepala-rotted brain, she's got a real talent for growing flowers :')

#thank you for the asks!!!#these were a lot of fun #and also got me wanting to work on some docs....#hope you enjoyed!!! i think i got a little carried away #kasumi goto #thane krios #shiala #mass effect #literally the top three im hideously in love with thank u #thane/irikah #shrios

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newtonsheffield · 3 years

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Love Enchanted! It was fantastic as always. Thanks for sharing! And, I know it wasn’t really integral to the plot, but OMG, I would die for the scene of Kate annihilating Araminta! I bet it was epic!

Okay! First of all, I’m glad you enjoyed Enchanted, and I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to get back to you on this!

I wasn’t going to write this scene because it seems so hard to do but everyone has asked so nicely, So this is for you, and @mimozka and @hallownight89 who also wanted to see this and anyone else who did. A little snippet of how, Kate, and Violet, took care of Araminta Gunningworth once and for all, with a little assist from Lucy

Sophie Beckett had absolutely never been more nervous in her entire life. This had truly been the oddest, most stressful weekend of her entire life. She’d been working in the kitchen, if not calmly, at least efficiently, and then Kate Bridgerton had arrived and turned her life into chaos, and nw she was Benedict Bridgerton’s girlfriend and sitting in the most expensive looking conference room she’d ever seen in between Benedict’s sister-in-law and his Mother. Sophie was quite sure that she’d have to save for an entire year to afford ten minutes of Kate Bridgerton’s time as her solicitor and Kate had already spent 3 hours of her time on this, had cleared her entire day apparently, and god, given her lunch though Sophie had tried to refuse. Violet had tisked at her and said “Lucy, she’ll have the same as me.” And it felt like Sophie would never ever stop owing people things.

She heard footsteps approaching the door and couldn’t stop herself from flinching at the sound. She felt Violet’s hand squeeze her arm and looked up in surprise to see the woman smiling warmly at her. The door opened and Sophie took a deep breath. “I know your uncle very well of course,” She heard her Stepmother’s voice echo in the hallway, dread filling her entire being, “Abernathy Media is such a pillar of our community, you must be so proud.” Sophie felt her eyes widen, So Lucy was that Lucy Abernathy. Of course she was, Sophie felt an unfair stab of jealous towards Lucy who Violet Bridgerton must be proud to claim as her son’s partner. And Kate who Sophie could tell Violet adored, rather than Sophie who she now had to fish out of trouble.

Lucy smiled at Araminta, though as Araminta turned away the smile fell, indicating that Lucy was not entirely thrilled with the connection to her family’s business. Araminta greeted Kate, either ignoring, or not noticing Sophie. She’d had so much practice at pretending Sophie didn’t exist it must surely be second nature by now.

“Violet! and the new Mrs. Bridgerton, my congratulations though I’m not sure I’ve had the pleasure.” Araminta said, her tone of voice the kind one she used when socialising. Sophie had heard it before, echoing through the house as she’d sat locked in her room as she always was when there were guests.

To Sophie’s left, Kate’s usually warm, inviting smile had been replaced by something cold, Stern, her tone of voice so commanding when she spoke that Sophie had to stop herself from looking at her with a look of complete awe. “Thank you, Anthony and I are thrilled. Won’t you take a seat?” She said, gesturing to the seat across the table. Lucy marched round the table taking her seat to Kate’s left and began taking notes on an iPad, the pencil tapping against the glass as Araminta took her seat, her expression clearly curious and finally her eyes fell on Sophie. Her expression instantly changed to one of pure disgust. Sophie felt herself stiffen, but Violet Bridgerton’s thumb was making soothing circles on her arm. Araminta opened her mouth

“How dare you-” But Kate cut her off “Mrs. Gunningworth, I believe you’ve met my client? Sophie Beckett.” Her voice cool, collected. Araminta tutted. “I’m rather afraid I do.” Her voice was filled with derision, panic was welling in Sophie’s chest, she wanted to sprint from the room, but she’d promised herself no more running. “That girl is unfortunately the most grasping, malicious person I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.” her words hit harder than her hand ever had. Sophie couldn’t bring herself to lift her eyes off the desk in front of her. She heard Violet make a noise beside her. Kate continued tapping her pen on the table, a steady rhythm. Then a pause. Sophie finally looked up

“Mrs. Gunningworth, are you aware that wills are a matter of public record in the United Kingdom?” Araminta stilled, something like trepidation flickering in her eyes for a second. “I’m not sure what this girl has told you, Sophia was only asked to pay back what she owed. She was offered fair terms of employment. My late husband took her in, educated her, fed her, and clothed her. You cannot expect to get something for nothing in this world.” Her voice was cool, clipped, though her eyes, never leaving Sophie’s spewed malice at her. Sophie spoke before Violet could. “I was his child.” She said, her voice small. “I didn’t ask for this, but I was his child.” she felt Violet’s hand squeeze.

“You were his mistake.” Her voice sharp, but Sophie refused to drop her eyes “And your mother didn’t even have the decency to live to see it through. I see you’re just like her though, whoring yourself out for protection.” “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you not to speak to a member of my family that way, Araminta.” Violet Bridgerton’s voice cut like steel through the room, and if Sophie hadn’t heard it herself, she wouldn’t have thought the warm, motherly woman capable of it. Araminta scoffed. “Violet, really, you can’t expect a woman to love someone else’s child.” She said entreatingly. Kate Bridgerton’s pen hit the table forcefully. Sophie’s eyes flicked to her, her face was cold fury, her jaw set and when she spoke, Sophie had never heard more disgust in a person’s voice.

“Whatever the case may be, Mrs. Gunningworth, whether you felt you were entitled to reparations for whatever your husband may have put forth for the betterment of his child. I’m rather afraid his will paints a different picture.” Lucy’s pencil tapping o the screen of the iPad was the only noise that filled the room for several seconds, Kate sighed. “You were aware I assume that Sophie was entitled to an inheritance when she turned 18 which was, by my calculations eight years prior to this. So, let’s talk.”

By the time, Araminta Gunning worth left the room, Violet Bridgerton’s voice echoing in her ears You are the most reprehensible person I’ve ever had the misfortune to come across, Sophie’s heart was warm, and full. She thought, as Lucy Abernathy stood from her seat and said bluntly “I’ve taken the liberty of validating your parking madam. Do tell my Uncle Robert that Gerald and I are very happy together.” gesturing to the door, that even of there truly was no money as her stepmother claimed, long since squandered, she’d never felt richer in her life.

#bridgerton and sons au #benedict x sophie #sophie beckett #kate sheffield #lucy abernathy #violet bridgerton #bridgerton wives club #enchanted follow up #this got wild #I’m so sorry y’all #Molly’s asks and answers #the bridgerton wives club

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regency-gardens · 3 years

Text

Tethered Hearts- part 3/3- ALTERNATE ENDING

A/N: surprise! two endings! read the original ending (and the much less mainful ending here)

warnings: angst, heartbreak

word count: 1,550

published: feb. 27. 21

series masterlist

Benedict rode through the night, going over his speech countless times until he was sure he could say it backward. Sleep evaded him despite the carriage being quite comfortable; His nerves and the bumpy dirt roads kept him awake. He eventually forced himself to focus on something other than the disaster of his love life and he took to sketching, as usual.

Drawing within the last few weeks was nearly impossible for him. He could never focus long enough or he was never pleased with the product. his hands never seemed to corporate. This time he tried to draw something that he thought would make him feel happy, at least for the time being. He started to draw two hands intertwined and imagined it was his and y/n, wearing wedding rings. All this did was remind him of how happy he could have been if he hadn't been so selfish.

The Y/L/N country home was a sight to behold. It overlooked a small lake surrounded by trees that provided a home to countless wildlife. The garden was home to a variety of wildflowers and shrubs with lemon trees dotted about. The front of the home was a beautiful work of masonry with climbing vines reaching up the first story and balconies decorated with even more greenery. Stone steps lead down to the lawn where the gardeners worked tirelessly on the upkeep of the statues and fountains in the middle of a circular cobbled walkway. It was a welcoming, lively home, but the sight of it made Benedict's stomach do backflips. She was so close.

The early morning sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon, illuminating the foggy countryside. The birds were chirping and roosters could be heard faintly in the distance welcoming the new day. A long inhale of the fresh morning air seemed to settle benedict’s nerves just a little. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers and tried to fix his hair as best he could. It was bad enough he was bothering her so early and unannounced, he could at least look presentable. The tired eye bags would make that difficult.

Meanwhile, in the Y/L/N home, y/n’s maid was just waking up when she heard the faint sound of approaching horses. She peeled back the drawing-room drapes and saw the black Bridgerton carriage quickly approaching.

“Oh my! Miss y/n!”

She ran down the hall and up the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her. She burst through y/n’s bedroom doors, panting. Yn, having been startled awake, sat up confused. Benedict's letters were still scattered around the bed.

“What on earth? Marta, what’s happened?”

“He’s here! Mr. Bridgerton is here!” y/n’s throat went dry and she immediately sprang from the bed and rushed to the window just in time to see the carriage door come to a stop at the steps. Without a second thought, she ran as fast as she could downstairs, not even taking the time to put on shoes.

Benedict took a deep breath before reaching for the handle of the carriage. With a final rush of courage, he hopped out. At the same time, y/n appeared through the front doors and stopped at the top of the steps. She was looking down at him and suddenly he forgot everything he wanted to say. She was ethereal. The sight of Her long white nightgown and wild hair was something he had never seen before and he couldn’t get enough.

There was a silence as they waited for each other to say something. When it became clear she wasn’t going to say anything, Benedict cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry to have bothered you so early in the morning. It couldn’t wait.”

Her expression was unreadable and it further worsened his nerves.

“I realize you probably don’t want to speak with me ever again. Your ignoring of my letters made that clear enough but I couldn’t give up just yet and I think Eloise would have my head if I didn’t try one last time-”

“I wasn’t ignoring your letters.”

He paused, surprised.

“Until last night I didn’t know they even existed. My father hid them thinking they’d do more harm than good. I stayed up half the night reading them.” Her voice was soft and shaky. He clung to every word.

“Then you know. You know why I'm here. You…” he sighed in exasperation, his throat began to ache from holding back the tears he’d been fighting for so long. His voice was cracking and shaky but he couldn’t stop the words flowing from his heart.

“You are the blood in my veins and the breath in my lungs; you are my reason for living, for waking up every damn day. I hurt you so badly and I hate myself for it. I will always hate myself for it. I had the most wonderful woman in the world by my side and I threw it away. I am a weak man. I am weak but you make me strong and I am not ashamed to say that I need you. I need you, I need you, I need you and I will never not need you and I will never stop loving you. You owe me nothing. I know that. You have no reason to ever trust me again. I know that. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try-if I don’t get on my knees and beg you for one more chance. I don’t deserve it. you could turn around and leave me forever and I would not blame you. But right here, right now, I need to know- I am begging to know if there is any possible way that you still love me because I cannot spend another moment wondering. So please, my darling, my love, my life… is there any chance that you still love me too?”

They were both crying, thoughts running around their heads at the speed of light. Benedict, during his speech, had taken a few daring steps towards her and now stood at her feet, peering up into her glossy eyes. Slowly, hesitantly, y/n’s warm hand cupped his cheek, and just like that night so long ago, he leaned into its warmth. This was the first he’d ever touched her soft hands and it sent chills down his spine. His own hand reached to hold hers, keeping it from moving. She wiped away his tears with her thumb.

“ I am so ...so sorry.” His words were a mere whisper.

She was at war with herself. Trusting him again could lead to complete heartbreak once again, but could also lead to some of the happiest days of her life. Maybe a fresh start was what they needed- a second chance. But maybe it was time to set this love free.

“benedict…” his heart raced at the sound of his name on her lips,”

It would seem that I have the grave misfortune of having my heart tethered to yours. No matter how far you throw me, I'll always come back to you. It scares me.”

He frowns, the pit in his stomach growing with his anticipation. She removes her hand from his face, backing away. His heart shatters.

“I will always love you, benedict. But I cannot let you play with my heart again. I cannot risk spending the rest of my life wondering if you still love me. So, I think it best for the both of us, that we end this for good.”

“y/n please… don’t do this.” his voice cracks and she tries to stifle a sob.

“You will find someone else one day, Benedict, and you will love them so much you will forget all about me. All I ask of you is that you allow it to happen. Let me go, and learn from this. That way this pain will not have been in vain.”

“I love you…” he pleads but she shakes her head, unable to look him in the eye.

“Goodbye.” sobbing, she turns and runs back inside, into the arms of her family who watched it all happen from the window.

Benedict, with all the strength he could muster, climbs back into his carriage and leaves the Y/L/N estate for the final time.

The next few months are hard for them. The hardest thing they've ever had to go through. Benedict, especially, has trouble feeling even the slightest bit normal and it takes nearly three months before he can leave his home.

But in the end, y/n was right. Within the next few years, while the pain is still there for both of them, they are finally ready to move on.

Two years later, y/n meets someone in Italy while traveling with her brother and sister. He reminds her a lot of Benedict, which is probably why it was so easy to fall in love with him. They are married in the fall and happy lives together. Benedict is a bittersweet memory.

Benedict eventually finds himself a wife by the name of Sophie and he loves her with everything he has in him. Not forgetting y/n’s last words to him, he makes sure to never make his old mistakes.

Though they are not together, they will always love each other. Soulmates meant for another life.

________________________________________________________________

#benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict x reader #Benedict bridgerton x fem!reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony x reader #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction

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