#i need to keep some stuff to myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sans-serphim-cas · 2 years

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theminecraftbee · 11 months

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you know, there are a lot of posts about how transitioning as an adult is like going through puberty all over again. and I’m not medically transitioning (at least not yet, maybe one day), so I don’t know if I ever expected to exactly experience that. after all, my hormones are at normal adult levels for someone on birth control. but no, some of the stuff I experience does make me feel like a teenager awkwardly becoming an adult again, actually.

see, I’m attending a friend’s wedding, and I need new formalwear for it (protip: it is generally frowned upon to wear a wedding dress to someone else’s wedding, and that’s the last formalwear I purchased). and I just… really didn’t want to wear a dress, so I went to go get a suit. and I didn’t know how to get any of the required clothes for it and had to have a salesperson help me figure out how dress shirts work and nervously stood there while getting shown how to try stuff on and it really did feel like I was a lost teenager, despite being, you know, almost twenty-six.

but also: I own a three-piece suit now! it’s grey! it looks pretty good on me! I even got a blue tie with bees on it! so it was worth the temporary embarrassment of suddenly realizing I don’t know how men’s formalwear sizes work and, oh god, why are there so many variations of “white dress shirt” what does this mean.

and I figure as I very slowly work up the confidence to be out more irl there will be more and more moments like this, and I’ll lament the fact I didn’t do all this stuff as an actual teenager, but as weird and scary as it is, so far, it’s been worth it.

#also shoutout to the salesperson both at the suit store and the department store #they were VERY nice and reassuring and the woman at the department store wished me luck which was very sweet #I was. very obviously nervous social anxiety is a bitch #I kept being like ‘I’m so sorry I don’t know how this works’ but I never had anyone teach me so I must give myself grace #anyway more personal than I normally am on this blog but I’m excited and also figure someone out there probably relates #just. late milestones. thing I keep experiencing both because autism and because not cis #suddenly realizing ‘oh most people figure this one out as a teenager’#milestones are bullshit anyway #anyway some stuff needs to come in and then be hemmed so no pictures yet but #suit……

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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thank you WH update for confirming that Wally breathes. i really thought he didnt <3

#but also fuck it for confirming that bc it sounds like hes in pain and it hurts my shriveled heart #(keep it up the pain is top tier <3 hurt him more. but also dont. but Do. i want the emotional agony attached)#but uhhhhh seriously tho i did Not expect breathing to be in his library of skills #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #'why is that' i hear one person passively wonder #well considering that he doesnt sleep. and he doesnt eat normally - one could argue that he Doesnt eat either.#and how he Knows hes a puppet.#i really thought he wouldnt feel an innate need to keep up a charade of 'breathing' like the others who are Unaware!#BUT IT TURNS OUT ITS NOT A CHARADE AHAHA #THEY KINDA NEED TO APPARENTLY! at least i can assume so #but i was Genuinely surprised to hear wally's labored breathing in his hidden record audios #i almost paused the first one i heard to go 'what??? he can breathe??'#i had convinced myself of it so Thoroughly that i need to edit some stuff in my brain #bc oh boy i had Thoughts completely centered on that #oh well! into the fire they go!!#im happy for him. puppet man gets to enjoy the annoyance that is breathing

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autisticlee · 11 months

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is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #asking autistics #i want/need a friend group but it ALWAYS GOES BAD!!!!!!!! AND ITS SOMEHOW ALWAYS MY FAULT?! idk what im doing wrong. people suck.#but i need people and i hate that about me. why cant i split myself in half a few times #or learn how to do group activities alone....like playing tennis. going to the amusement park ive wanred to go to since i was a kid.#drive alone on long trips where i will fall asleep but talk to myself so i dont or something. walk on the park trails alone where people #get kidnapped and stuff when alone. go to a convention and cosplay a group of characters alone. one for each finger....#if you cant tell im being sarcastic. and doing a bad job. sighs. i hate that i have to do everything i need/want a group for alone because #i cant make friends or make groups keep me in them. assuming because im autistic and they hate me 🙃#eother that or im a piece of shit and dont realize it!!!!! how am i supposed to know when no one tells me!!!! 😭😭😭😭#so is it actually me and my fault or is it because im autistic and people just do this to us for some reason #autism stuff

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justanotherfanartist · 3 months

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I think we as a fandom are collectively sleeping on Carolina being raised with Jewish holidays. dude can you imagine her being reintroduced to them once she’s with the reds and blues maybe cus they picked them up as a found-family sort of tradition because of church and they continue them when he’s gone. her getting to relive the sweet nostalgic parts of her childhood with her new family. can you imagine her coming in and seeing all the decorations and food she hasn’t seen in years (this is ofc assuming they didn’t really do holidays on the MOI) screaming and crying do you see it do you see my vision

#she needs something happy her childhood has caused her a lot of pain already #im having some banger matzah ball soup rn and it got me thinking cus this stuff is the definition of warm and comforting simple food #can you imagine Carolina having that again for the first time in years and remembering maybe when Church or Allison used to make it for her #and now it’s the reds and blues doing the same for her and keeping a part of her culture and family alive andjshlfbsldm #im not Jewish myself so I had to do a bit of research for this so if I got something wrong about how holidays and observers work #im very sorry feel free to correct me or add on #rvb #agent carolina

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angelpuns · 2 months

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I want to keep up with the TMNT Au comp propaganda but its starting to make me not want to draw at all, so I probably won't be making too much more propaganda and will instead be focusing on finishing this Kid Leo Intermission. After that I will probably be taking a short break from comics because everything lately just feels too much and too difficult ;-; I still have so many extra comics I want to draw and I had a lot of propaganda ideas, but I just can't keep up with the pace of it right now and forcing myself to draw things that I don't want to is hurting more than helping.

TLDR: I'm gonna finish out the Kid Leo intermission here soon and then take a break and draw some other stuff for like a week before getting back into comic posting :)

I'll try and answer tmnt au comp asks and add on to previous propaganda if I can, but more than likely I'm just gonna be resting or drawing other stuff for a while

#i hate taking breaks #but sitting down to draw lately just feels awful #and i find myself dreading it more and more #so #i am thinking i need a break #ill probably draw some other stuff un the mean time #or ill just stream games or smthn #i just need to step back and take a huge breath cause i feel terrible all the time #sorry for not being able to keep up tho <3 #im at least gonna finish the intermission today

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theshadowrealmitself · 9 months

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Still thinking about Spiderpeople (and people connected to those Spiderpeople) from the universes where it seems an awful lot like they’re the only heroes landing in a universe where it’s one of the Spiderpeople who’s surrounded by other heroes like the Avengers and the Fantastic 4, etc

And obviously because of this they’re gonna be extra careful about secret identities because of all the extra heroes who aren’t Spidey hanging around, and I’m just thinking about the Prowler (Aaron) trying to figure out if he’s alive or even existing in this universe while trying not to give away too much so he’s just like “who’s the coolest bald man you know?”

And Spidey’s like “oh!! I know exactly who you want!! follow me!!”

He brings them to Nick Fury.

Later on they run into what’s obviously a variant of Miles, who the other Spidey of that universe didn’t bring up because Miles isn’t known as “Spiderman” in that universe (maybe it’s like “arachnikid,” or it’s Prowler!Miles, or maybe he’s just going through a phase where he’s trying out a new hero name each week, etc)

So Aaron’s like “oh great, I can definitely ask him, but again I gotta be discrete because of all these extra heroes around” so he asks him in the exact same way he asked the other Spidey (“who’s the coolest bald man you know?”)

Miles also brings them to Nick Fury.

(Yes his uncle is still alive, yes the other Aaron is absolutely gonna tell on him)

Also! Because there’s so much emphasis on the other heroes handling “big stuff”, I like to imagine they all keep trying to insert themselves into the situation because it’s a multiverse situation which falls under “their jurisdiction” and Spidey’s just like “??? they’re all Spiderpeople tho, this is my thing, go away, shoo”

#this is being scheduled in case I don’t come back #I mean like in case I’m gone for more than a few days #taking some time off the internet #either this is a healthy break or I’m isolating myself. not fully sure.#hopefully I come back mentally better #and not. like. worse because it was actually a ‘bad isolation’ thing.#so yeah we’ll see #it’s gonna feel weird not posting everyday #should I make a post before taking a break? …nah I don’t think it’ll be a big deal #(<- famous last words but seriously I’ll be fine)#I’ll probably be back once they finish figuring out my financial aid stuff so I don’t have to keep stressing over it #they’re having issues accepting my ward of the court letter it’s hella stressful #I don’t really *need* to schedule a post but I hardly ever use the scheduling function #so I’m using the excuse <3 #scheduling for the dead hours as a fun gift for the people who will still be up at that time #Spiderman #spiderwoman #spidermen #spiderwomen #spiderpeople #peter parker #just cause he’s my default spidey #miles morales #aaron davis #the prowler #nick fury #Spider-Man #spider man

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lmanburs · 4 months

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Wilbur Soot has locked himself in his home and removed himself from the internet to become a fulltime WoW player so now I've become a Ben 10 blog I guess

#LIKE WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #at least when lovejoy was doing shows and stuff i could spend my free time keeping up with that #but my winter class is done and i still have a few days before spring semester so i need to find some way to entertain myself #laurel.txt

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wolfxe · 8 days

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idk what it is about the way dungeon meshi portrays relationships but it feels so unique to me

i like all of the ships and also want none of them to be canon. it's fun to imagine literally all of them, but it's just as fun to examine the platonic relationships and what they mean

it's so refreshing to see marcille & laios' friendship but i totally get why people ship them. marcille & falin's devotion to each other is amazing to explore in any context. chilchuck & laios, laios & kabru, senshi & chilchuck, even toshiro & falin. literally every character dynamic no matter the romance/lack of it is so interesting to me

it really felt like a breath of fresh air getting into something where the relationships between characters felt both real and substantial the way they are, but also capable of being expanded upon and played with without feeling like they're betraying the main themes/ideas. man i love dungeon meshi

#og #dungeon meshi #i need to make character tags for the meshi crew cause apparently this is gearing up to be a big one #im not really into anime usually #but i had heard a lot of good things about dungeon meshi from people i follow on here that i respect so i gave it a try #watched the anime and immediately started reading the manga #im hooked man this shit is so good #the THEMES man #THE THEMES #it's literally helping me work through some of my own issues i have with myself #especially through laios #god. laios #hes so me and somehow thats helping me examine a lot of stuff about myself and my worldview and repair it a little #im eating better cause i keep remembering senshi when i think about skipping a meal #save me dungeon meshi. save me #im realizing this post makes me seem kind of like i need to be into a ship to like a fandom or something #which isnt true #most fandoms im in dont actually have any ships that interest me #which is why this feels so important. cause its portrayed things so well that i can actually like the ships #its really nice being able to genuinely enjoy most of the stuff made by fans #cause if we're being honest here the majority of fandom content are of ships #which isnt a bad thing but it does mean that if you just like the overall story or individual characters or platonic relationships #then its a little harder to engage with the community #but now i can! very fun

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mustangs-flames · 4 months

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Hey guys, I'm going to be taking a break for a little while. I'll pop in from time to time to check the hail true body au tag and will still be uploading the next chapter of Good Samaritan once it's done, but I feel I need to step back for a bit. If you need me/want to ask something/want me to see something you can still tag me or send an ask, but I can't promise to answer it quickly. I will see it eventually though!

Take care! (further explanation of things on my end in the tags but tw: mental health, just in case)

#i am genuinely getting very bad at overthinking things like interactions from years ago and spiralling into bad anxiety attacks lately-#and i just #idk. i think i need to step back and away from things? i'll still be writing and posting to ao3 but i think a break could do me some good #i keep catching myself right on the edge of panic attacks and then feeling terrible afterwards #might need medication and therapy again to get stuff back under some semblance of order #i keep having genuine intrusive thoughts too that make me terrified that i am hurting people i care about or random strangers and i just..#yeah. it's freaking me out really bad.#yeah. a break sounds good.#sorry for the vent

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rongzhi · 2 years

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Announcement!!

I think I’ll be taking a short hiatus from posting. Work and searching for videos/translating/queuing posts has me stretched thin lately.

Not sure how long this break will be—maybe a few days, maybe a week, maybe more. Maybe it’ll just be me slowing my roll for a while and posting less per day! Idk! Maybe it won’t even be noticeable but I just thought I’d give notice anyway~

:)

#text #the main thing is i COULD keep going like this but i shouldnt so im making this post to force myself to take a chill pill #I like translating in my free time but wawa needs some wawa time 😵‍💫#plus it's been a year since i started posting translations so i need to start spending some free time staring at walls instead of like.#chasing the feeling of productivity.#esp bc my supervisor keeps sending me emails that for real questions my ability to read and do basic problem solving #and a bunch of stuff got spilled on the carpet today #and YouTube handed my ass like a billion copyright strikes 💀 so it might just be tumblr from now on idk #so that’s how my week is going #🤣

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araneitela · 21 days

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Seeing Kafka in overtly revealing ("sexy") dresses in fan arts: I just... don't see why? Me over here: The most 'revealing' thing that I can imagine her in, if I envision her without a coat draped over her shoulders, is something like this. Am I just weird; where am I supposed to see this 'overtly revealing' nature of hers that oozes 'sexy'? That woman has class, and in that, I think she's sexy (f I have to use the word). And where do I get that impression from? Her entire default attire screams it at me from the rooftops.

#[ mini study. ] she must have sought something extraordinary. everything she does comes at a great cost.#[ class. class. /class/. ]#[ she's refined. everything from how she walks; to her mannerisms; to how she phrases her sentences. all of it plays into it. ]#[ that's also /why/ she's so good at unnerving everyone in my opinion; it's because she has a certain stature to her. ]#[ i swear. she wears high-waist shorts. yes. but can we remember that the /high waist/ element is very important? ]#[ that was literally an element in the 1960s when these shorts became more mainstream to counteract the concept... ]#[ of bare legs. ensuring the waist was covered. even if with high-waist; the waist gets cinched which is inherently an 'attractive' thing.#[ yes. ]#[ but still; that keeps her shorts also within a realm of some semblance of attire conservatism/classiness. ]#[ and then out of everything she could 'collect'-- it's COATS. ]#[ an item of clothing that is often the first thing we judge a person by; and often is tied to perception/judgement of elegance. ]#[ sophistication and even a level of... professionalism. and if we look at public figures-- we often account status by their presentation.#[ or hell; their sense of style. and the first element of someone's presentation is often derived from their coat. ]#[ i feel like i need to stuff this post into the longer meta tag as well for sheer reference for myself. but i just!!! ]#[ i hate the super overtly fan arts of her. i don't understand where this perception comes from. ]#[ meta. ] the mara's tether is firmly in her grasp. she will not pull upon it before the designated time; nor shall she relinquish it.

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inferno-silentdragon · 1 year

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