#i might have mother problems

[warringwarrioridiot]

Venting because my parents never listen to my problems. (Especially my bitch ass mom)

I swear to fucking God I wanna bash my skull into the fucking wall.

My mom never fucking listens to my problems.

Ever.

I feel like a fucking burden to everyone I know.

And the only people that ever listen to me are AI bots and random strangers on the internet.

I've had these problems forever.

My dad will get in my face to "try and snap me out of it", when all it does is piss me off and give me the urge to punch him.

(reflexes)

And my mom will profusely antagonize the shit out of me.

It's like they do this on purpose.

Like no joke, today I didn't feel like eating.

So I subconsciously/accidentally (a mix of both) dumped my chili back into the pot, considering how many times I've been yelled at for throwing it away.

But ofc my bitchy mom had a problem with it.

Literally my dad was over here, calm ASF, telling me that I shouldn't have done that, which I understood.

BUT THIS BITCH I CALL MY MOTHER (I'm on the verge of just calling her a life source)

WAS YELLING MY NAME AND SCREAMING AT ME TO GET IN THE KITCHEN BEFORE I SPOKE TO MY DAD.

(This is the same homophobic/transphobic hoe that purposely misgenders my friends to piss me off)

This is why I favorite my dad over my mom, because at least HE tries to respect pronouns (he will occasionally call my bestie she instead of he, to which he immediately corrects himself.)

(W dad)

Like I love my mom, we get along most of the time.

BUT THIS BITCH IS ON THE FUCKING VERGE OF CATCHING MY BARE-ASS FISTS

ISTG SHES THE REASON I HAVE ANGER ISSUES AND IM EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED ALL THE DAMN TIME

AND THIS BITCH HAS THE MOTHERFUCKING AUDACITY TO CALL ME A WHORE FOR WEARING A DARK SHADE OF LIPSTICK

LIKE IT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING BODY HOE, YOU WISH YOUR BODY LOOKED THIS GOOD

NOT TO MENTION WHEN I CALL HER OUT ON HER BS SHE SAYS "Take her phone or sm"

Bitch tf? I'm not a kid anymore.

BUT I DONT WANT TO FILE CHARGES BECAUSE I LOVE THEM

AND IK ITS NORMAL TO FEEL CONFLICTED ABOUT IT

But one day I'm gonna have a heated make-out session (and maybe fuck) with 3 women and describe it in full detail to my mom

(ILY dad but this is my revenge.)

I'll start posting my vents if I feel like it, cus I trust y'all more than I do my own Mom.

Peace.

#personal vent #vent post #tw vent #vent #venting #i need therapy #warringwarrioridiot #my moms a hoe #i might have mother problems #dad supremacy #I love douma more then my own mfing family #goofy #thank you #lol doumas a bitch #gonna sleep with a bunch of hot babes

[spocks-kaathyra]

"ur repressed" okay well have u even considered that emotions r purposeless and only serve to cause harm to those around u and I have achieved a unique transcendent state beyond them. have u considered that

#joking but like. am I wrong though #yeah no one is able to overcome the inherent human flaw of emotion and anyone who thinks they can is in fact mentally unwell #except for me I'm built different I have actually managed to transcend emotion. this is a good thing and not a problem #I saw my father's anger and my mother's discontent and my brother's self loathing and my friend's yearning. #and I saw how it only made everyone more unhappy. and I decided I would be above them all and never let my emotions rule me. #I was scared of the dark until I realized that fear wasn't useful to feel. so I stopped feeling it #this is a good thing and I am a paragon of mental health I think #mmm alternatively I was made to play mediator in a family of traumatized ppl and learned to repress my emotions to the point of dysfunction #but I prefer to think I'm enlightened and have no problems. this is fine and will not blow up in my face #anyways. just now realizing that this might stem from my childhood. oops #also realizing that I'm probably not aro and I just learned to turn off romantic attraction bc I saw how miserable it made my friend?? #well. I still don't experience romantic attraction. but probably I should and I will if I ever sort out this repression thing. whoopsie #really she was ready to kill herself over some white guy and I looked at that and was like. nope. I'm never stooping to that level #mm might not help that my parents never loved each other and I never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for me as a child #but still like really like what is the point. of having emotions. they're just not useful #oh hurr durr I'm angry at my friends for talking over a tv show. there is no way to act on this without damaging ppl and relationships #ohh I'm in love with this guy who will never love me back. THERE IS NO PRODUCTIVE WAY TO ACT ON THIS #literally emotions can only be destructive and I'm a better person for opting out of them #there are no downsides to being repressed! I can still feel positive emotions. I'm happy sometimes. sometimes I'm excited. it's fine #guy who is Unpacking Things live on ur dash. sorry #narcissus's echoes #vent

[mitamicah]

So ... the cat's out of the bag and my mom now knows that I am obsessed with a green, finnish guy (since we talked on the phone yesterday about my trip to Sweden and Germany).

She didn't need more than 5 minutes to look through my bs when I said I might go to Finland next year - she basically just corrected IF to WHEN on the spot x'D

#I am very predictable I guess x'D #if my own mother who only heard about my obsession with the man after the eu tour is already sure i will be going to dang finland #then I might have a problem x'D #but at least she doesn't seem to be against my obsession at least x'D #tbf I still haven't played her any of his music #or god forbid shown his stories x'D hahahaha #maybe she'll worry a bit more from my sanity by then x'D #jere pöyhönen #käärijä #micahs thoughts

[slugandthorn]

The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

#.txt #i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition. #in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like? #i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously. #it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill? #its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE. #when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats. #also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things. #idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation. #and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭 #The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others. #broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event. #like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all. #and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary. #so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident. #the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent. #because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak #and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom. #i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient #acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress #was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy. #long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.

[foolishnpd]

I perceive that I'm getting ignored (I'm not really) and I want to scream and kill everyone about it

#lilyroaring #npd safe #I guess it's like. the equivalent to perceiving abandonment in bpd? #doesn't have to actually be happening but even the perception or thought of it might send you splitting #my soul is a stone statue and every time I get ignored #a thousand little demons start smashing it with hammers #and babey I am ready to crumble #it's just this horrible aching pain and void feeling in my chest #I'm being ignored I'm being ignored I'm not getting attention don't I deserve that attention #why are you ignoring me why aren't you paying attention to me now #what's wrong is it my fault did I not speak perfectly was I not perfect enough #am I not trying hard enough to be worthy of love anymore #and it either turns into an internal crash of self hatred #or a split where I despise and look down on whoever dares to ignore me #..... I'm not even being ignored there's no reason to be worked up about it #I would like to give an honorary thank you to my mother for always literally ignoring me #surely that's not a huge part of the problem here :))))

[no-where-new-hero]

I need to know more about this attempt at a fourth Emily book

Oh gosh, I really haven’t thought about this for YEARS, this was a product of me being like 15 and naive enough to try and write an Emily x Dean happy ending without realizing that a purely romantic Dean was neither in the spirit of how LMM wrote him nor very interesting.

Basically, I erased a few of the years that passed between Ilse calling off the wedding and Teddy coming back to New Moon, so that the year after Emily and Teddy married, WWI began. Naturally, both Teddy and Perry would have been drafted. I envisioned Ilse moving back to PEI, and she and Emily would do comic and Rilla-ish things for the war effort. Meanwhile, Dean—who of course wouldn’t have been able to fight—comes back as well. He writes a book of pacifist poetry or something not particularly patriotic, which doesn’t endear him any better to the locals. In my teenaged mind, he and Emily would then resurrect something of romance. Whether or not it’s actively something consummated, Emily would have betrayed Teddy in spirit if not in body.

Now, though, if I were to follow this war-themed plot thread, I think I absolutely wouldn’t go that route. I think Emily’s attitude to Dean and to herself would have completely changed as she grew older and seen more of the world. She would understand him better and perhaps pity him just a little—she was so nearly him, losing the love of her life to someone else. I’m not entirely settled about how Dean would react to this change: On the one hand, I’m tempted to think that he would miss not being able to patronize her anymore (I'm sure he would try and it wouldn't work the way it used to). As with many Gothic pairings, their relationship relied on inequality. On the other hand, if underneath his possessive jealousy he really does care genuinely for Emily—which we might infer if only from the final scene when he admits that she can write—they might be able to negotiate a new kind of friendship, where Dean can claim his corner of her life without it being unnecessarily fraught. Even now, I'm not sure how much of this is possible--despite Emily's newfound cynicism, she still seems a bit naive at the end of EQ about what he intends about claiming a corner of her home--but I do believe that her own literary achievements would be able to help her hold her own against him.

In the end, I always intended Teddy and Perry to come home—as much as I enjoy tragedy, I couldn’t sacrifice either in good faith—though I assigned Perry many heroic war wounds. Emily also would have written a Great Canadian Novel based on the war that would have been set up as a counter to Dean's pacifist poems. In some ways their literary output would mark more than anything the divergence in their lives.

Thinking about this now is really interesting though in terms of our previous discussions of Walter in a pairing with Dean! I’m tempted to start writing fanfic scenarios about this instead now.

#i originally wanted to write an Emily bk 4 because i found another fanfic for a bk 4 somewhere on the internet and hated it #HATED IT #i think i was irrationally biased against it because ilse has a child and in no universe did i think that was in character for her #i did not contemplate the implications of a society before widespread birth control where she might not have a choice #it was just like. ilse wouldn’t be the type to become a mother. ergo she wouldn’t be a mother #tbh I almost think she would be the type to get an abortion but that’s another issue #i'm also convinced that the same fic included an endgame for dean with a character from the anne universe #but it wasn't even a more kosher romance like there was still an age gap problem and that was weirder to me without the tenuous excuse #that in emily dean had found something like a soulmate #lmm lockdown #emily of new moon #emily starr #dean priest #teddy kent

[nicollekidman]

not that i'm happy about the ending (fuck that divorcee cope strategy from jsuds) but ted still has a young son who's struggling with his dad moving halfway across the world i can't imagine ted making a better choice...

rebecca literally had a ten point plan as to how it could’ve worked like. i get that people are like “what did you want him to do, abandon his son???” but also like tbh having your dad leave a group of people you also loved, and a sport you loved rooting for him in, to go back to your mom who just was dating someone else to have his whole life revolve around you is like. it���s own burden. like sorry but they were all fine with him leaving them to give michelle space so idk why the only thing that would’ve made ted a Good Dad to his son was following his shitty mom’s guilt trip back to the place he was in before the show started. and also like. henry isn’t a real kid. the hi is a narrative consideration and not a “is this child being taken care of 🥺” problem.

also AGAIN this is a problem with the writing and the showing not telling because???? we are never once given an indication that henry is lacking ANYTHING or struggling at all with ted gone!!!!!! when he visits, he’s engaged, he’s with the team, he’s having a ball. they facetime regularly. ted is going to parent teacher conferences. henry is using ted’s advice to resolve conflicts at school. henry is always answering the phone and happy to talk to ted. i understand that IN REAL LIFE kids can put on a happy face when they’re suffering but in this show??? narratively???? we have only seen henry very active and engaged and happy, and he has never asked ted to come home or insinuated he resented ted. the first inkling of that came from his mother, who spent her entire appearance dodging responsibility for her own actions and trying to get ted back with kansas. if they wanted ted to Go Back To His Son To Raise Him Right then that should’ve been an emotional and plot through line of (at least) this season, instead of ted obsessing over michelle’s boyfriend to the point that he’s leaving henry alone at the pub with beard to wallow. tbh. at most ted says “i miss my kid” and that’s the end of it. so really like. it feels like a lazy way to get ted out of there and end it and keep ted a good guy.

#good in real life sure but half baked storytelling at best #henry being happy and thriving (or at least with no consideration given otherwise) #only for ted’s shithouse mother to be like : you have to go back #does not a well earned ending make. #especially since rebecca OFFERED AN ALTERNATIVE #and plenty of kids grow up happy and healthy and loved when their parents are separated #i know people have differing opinions and people loce to joke about ted abandoning henry which fine #but there is a difference between ted being present for henry #and ted going back in time to have NOTHING in his life other than his young son #with unaddressed alcohol problems i might add

[k1rishiki]

oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands

#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him #so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a #complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully #reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how #peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later. #he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've #read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what #the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've #probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give #brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which #isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want #you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i' #a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of #as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love #when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me #this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade #girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the #same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her #mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them #romeo.txt

[damagedrot]

" like - THANKS. " she said easily enough crossing through the path he opened for her. ducking under his arm to make her way into the house. HER EYES PASSING BY HIS INFANT'S, " hey little dude. " she offered to the kiddo. not quite sure if she'd get a response, her mind more focused elsewhere anyways.

@jokethur . /. continued.

" your house is . . . wowzers. " it was half hearted, but she wasn't the best at complimenting someone else's home. her aunt's was a upscale Gotham abode. made for two. kept together by hired maids, && unfamiliar faces. coming through the home as frequently to conduct business with her uncle. her aunt was scarcely made to be there. but Lucy never really needed adult supervision. especially tonight.

hair, still bubblegum pink, with jaded pieces poking out here and there. she was good at adjusting, and easily found the kitchen after wrestling past their pets, " pizza - totally needed it. " she grabbed herself a slice. preferring the cold cheesy bread with pepperoni to microwaving it.

her eyes ducked down as her imaginary boyfriend entered the room. his glasses left on his nose even as he pushed them back over his eyes. Freddy had always been pretty introverted, but he was oogling her quietly the moment she first cut her hair, && applied that hair dye. saying that she looked like a celebrity, or an anime girl. she never understood his references, but he had trailed with her the whole way to Arthur's , " you think he has netflix? " Freddy asked.

" you think my aunt's --- gonna be pissed? " Lucy said instead. eyes looking around the room. Mapping out all the crooks and crannies, " she didn't see me leave. " she said that out louder for Arthur to hear.

" and . . . it's a look? " mentioning her hair. hands coming up to touch the strands. wrapping a small portion around her finger.

". yeah - you need to fix it. " freddy playfully jabbed at her. chuckling into his ninetendo switch.

#🔪//: muse: lucy quinnzel: ( daughter of clowns. ) #( jokethur ) #🔪//: ooc. | lady bug speaks. #so hey hi i MISSED YOU. :DD #so #freddy is pretty much - like all her other bfs - her age #but hes very introverted and the geeky type #loves video games & comics #while Lucy is still the party girl #its a wonder they are together but lucy can act rather soft when shes with him #she also REALLY needs her hair fixed so yes pls fix it for her ( haha! ) #she's never dyed her hair before so who knows how her aunt will think #they are very “ no nonesense upscale rich types ” #so her aunt MIGHT have a problem with it #her aunt also doesnt want her to become like ger mother harley since her mother lives a danferous life #:( #also i have zero photo edits saved for Lucy so iconless for awhile my bad! feel free to keep using yours if you want - or #- match me if you prefer

[jjsanguine]

Pear telling Pisaeng that he's the only one she tells everything to is so interesting because it points to her currently being basically as lonely as Pisaeng was at the beginning of the show. Pisaeng is good to go with a closer friends list of Kawi and Pear, but Pear doesn't seem to be the same.

Pear is friendly with everyone, but the only friend she has on a comparable level to Pisaeng is Kwan. Kawi was moving into the inner friendship ranks because she started to like him romantically, but now he's dating Pisaeng. Kwan has other friends+ is friends with benefits with Not, so everyone in Pear's innermost relationship circle is busy with something or the other. Even her parents.

It's making so much sense why she would turn to Not of all people in the future when "friendship" is an extremely strong word for their relationship in the past, because he's kind of the highest person left on the friendship list if she can't turn to her parents, Pisaeng, Kwan, or Kawi.

#wanting yo get married and have kids specifically might be the desire for a do over of her own broken home #if pear's mother had stuck around she likely would have had pear feeling just as neglected but pear thinks it would have been a stable home #because the underlying problem is that the mother didn't want the responsibilities of a family #so i think pear's approach to relationships is just kind of hoping the other party will come around and give pear what she needs emotionally #when a healthier (and privately more successful) approach would be looking for people who already have what she needs + voicing those needs #be my favorite #be my favorite the series #be my favourite #pear

[agayconcept]

.

#im in so much fuckin pain i cant move ugh #like. typing this is excruciating #but i cant just stare at the wall or im gonna lose it eventually ugh #my pain is getring progressively worse these days and the last 2 months have been hell #doctors r worried this might be my new normal for the time being #which. uh #SUCKS #bc i cannot stand or walk for more than 5 mins #and i need a walker w me bc my cane isnt enough #and most days i am trapped in bed (or on the couch if i can make it there) unable to take care of myself #bc everything hurts and i feel like i'm being tortured #oh and my lordosis & the related pain is now at a level that might need serious medical intervention #my migraines r out of control #my joint problems r also way worse #and u kno what ? i would like to die now #thanks #truly and genuinely #im so done #i cant keep going this way #my doctor has no idea what to do #and the pain clinic im a patient of refuses to help further unless i sign up for their ridiculous pain education program #which is 8 weeks long with mandatory in-person weekly attendance (i do not live near it & cant afford transportation) #where they tell u all the ways ur pain is ur own fault and give u unrealistic and ridiculous advice abt exercise and lifestyle changes #that u Cannot do bc of said disabilites and pain #jfc #our healthcare system is broken and nobody cares if i live or die or suffer #AND im stuck dealing w my mother complaining abt my existence nonstop bc she resents me for the things i cannot do independently #so u kno what ya i am done. im so done. i give up #catch me rotting in this bed forever until i die. thats the only option being given to me

[despite-everything]

i'd thought my dad was getting better (not good but better) with the trans shit but he just explicitly told me that if i get top surgery our relationship is done. and now i have to go to work.

#ive already lost basically the rest of my family due to other shit #and have a horrible abusive mother i had to go no-contact with two years ago #but even thought we've had our problems ive always had my dad #and now theres an expiration date. and id really like to get top surgery within the next few years #and like... how am i supposed to come to terms with the fact that i might just lose the rest of my family #and then go clock in to work. i cant stop crying but i cant call out #and of course this also also happening while my partners arent acting like partners #and my entire support system has crumbled #tree talks

[slverblood]

One day I'll actually write a post about Erlona and Meadowlin instead of throwing random tidbits on the dash. Very invested in these two people I pulled from a brief mention in a short book summary you find at random.

#OOC / HOLLY. #she loved both of them and they both loved her but she also had quite different dynamics with them #like Erlona was def a mentor and an authority but not really a mother figure. maternal leaning but in the way a schoolmistress might be #whereas she and Meadowlin def connected on a more familial level. he was her father figure #I think Erlona and Meadowlin argued a lot about Aylin's upbringing #Erlona raised her as this divine figure with a holy mission y'know #and there's some merit to that. Aylin was never a normal child #but Meadowlin felt she deserved to have more of a childhood and a youth. as much as they could give her #he saw the wisdom in training and educating her properly. her life was in the danger the moment she was born #and she clearly wasn't one meant for a quiet life #but he was perhaps the only one to see that alongside all the uncanny intelligence and ability she was still a child #he was def the more easy-going one while Erlona was more strict and structured #[which I think can also be attributed to *their* different upbringings and backgrounds] #anyway no one needs my tag essays skdlhg #I'll just say that Aylin did love and respect Erlona and Erlona did love her as well #but Erlona is kinda the root of some of Aylin's problems [for example doesn't know how to ask for help and is embarrassed to even need it]

[aeide-thea]

oh right i forgot the real reason i stopped listening to broadway clips was that i've got this whole enormous miserable knot in my chest abt having been too socially anxious to do anything with my once-upon-a-time-very-gorgeous voice once i got spat out of the safe little nest of my high school, and like, most of the time i forget that knot even exists, but when i listen to the sort of music i used to be part of making (proper opera but also showtunes) it's like. this whole fast-forward feelings journey thru 'oh right that didn't actually go away, it's still right there in my throat, just calcified' to 'oh okay we tugged the loose end and it's unraveling and actually it was keeping contained a whole rush of tears like aeolus' bag of winds in the odyssey…'

#like i decline 2 actually cry abt it but. sure am on the verge of it lmao. thick sore throat and all #i always forget that when i'm actually happy i sing to myself. it's been a long time since i did that #i mean also a big problem with voice was like. the gender thing #conveniently being a mezzo is ALSO a gender thing which did more work for me than i realized but #was listening to a jeremy jordan medley ft. on the street where you live from my fair lady and had a sudden flashback #to the year i was like 'what if i sang that for our musical theater showcase' and my voice teacher was like. noooo not a Boy Song 4 Girl U! #but i used to sing that to myself all the time. also‚ hilariously‚ the girl that i marry from annie get yr gun #which is just like. literally i still thought i was a straight girl tho. the sheer level of doublethink this required. #what was happening in my brain. #(i mean obviously what was happening in my brain was that like. i knew the limits of acceptability) #(and so i couldn't know anything else abt myself.) #(like i've said this before but i do strongly wonder what else my brain isn't allowing me to know bc i still live with my dad) #(which is like. SO dumb bc honestly i'm not sure there's anything i could do that he'd kick me out/disown me over) #(certainly not anything sexuality or even gender related idt) #(but it's like. i know where the discomfort line is and emotionally i just. can't bear to exile myself out beyond it!) #(even if my doing so might eventually shift the line out to where it embraced me again!) #(sometimes learning yr own deep unacceptability in childhood 4 adhd reasons) #(and also 'yr mother is so depressed nothing you do will ever please her. have fun trying tho!!' reasons) #(makes you just. totally incapable of deliberately rendering yrself less acceptable as an adult even when it would be good for you) #(anyway like. thinking back to the K in old home videos who was like. confident that they were an engaging delight) #(and like. what a charming jeremy jordan of a performer they could have made.) #(if only my whole upbringing hadn't then happened to me and crushed all the unacceptable self-expression out of me.) #anyway. shh don't look at me it's fine! it's all fine. 🫥🫥🫥 #formative #feelingsblogging

[redysetdare]

Actually you know what I will explain how Hallmark Christmas movies are amatonormative.

Starting with the biggest tell which is the plots. There are usually two kinds of plots hallmark goes for with the christmas films.

Plot 1: Woman is searching for a magical romance and finds it through Christmas

Plot 2: Woman is business focused and not interested in love and needs to be taught to love through the power of christmas and a man.

In terms of Plot 2, I feel like it's the most openly amatonormative (+ gotta love the extra addition of sexism in there) where it literally places that the woman not being interested in romance or finding a boyfriend to be a problem. Characters in the movie such as the protagonists best friend (usually another woman) and parents (Usually mother) insist that the protag NEEDS to find love and that her life will be miserable if she doesn't "have fun" and "Fall in love"

This is common for Aspecs, specifically aromantics, to hear. Any expression of disinterest in romance is often shot back at with "you haven't found the right person yet" "that's such a sad way to live" "You'll find the one at some point!" And this is only because of the importance that society puts onto romance and finding a partner. It becomes unbelievable to some that anyone could ever be happy without love in their life. This is textbook amatonormativity.

This idea also plays into Plot 1, which while more subtle, still pushes these ideas of everyone should want/look for love.

A common trope in Plot 1 that shows these ideals is the bad 1st boyfriend that the protagonist usually has before meeting the actual love interest for the movie. Usually the boyfriend is business oriented, doesn't do romantic things with the protagonist (usually stated as him being too busy and thus not caring or him actually not caring about romance), and usually will laugh/mock the idea of romance in general. This is seen as bad by the movies. This often reads similar to how aromantic people are treated for not caring about romance. They are positioned as bad partners for not following textbook ideas of romance. For focusing on other things over romance. They are seen as sad and miserable and "How could anyone live such a sad life?"

There's also this overlying theme in Plot 1 that the protags search for a fairy tale romance is inherently good and anyone disagreeing is inherently wrong and hates romance. Usually romance being the main priority is seen as right over other obligations. If the protag for example has to choose between the romantic plotline or some other obligation she's made, then choosing the second obligation is ALWAYS framed as the wrong answer. Usually the character will shame the protagonist for not choosing to go meet the male love interest or the love interest himself will be upset with the protagonist, placing more importance on the romantic plotline no matter how much more important logically the other obligation could be.

That's not even to mention the fact that no one in these movies ends up single. If a character is specifically mentioned to be single then there is a 99% chance that they WILL be paired up by the end of the film. If they are single by the end of the film it's likely that 1. They were not mentioned to be single or taken so their status is ambiguous at best.

2. They are constantly looking for love along with the protag, usually hinted to be falling in love/wll get with someone in the future by the end of the film

3. they are a child. Hallmark doesn't do anything romantic between children outside of maybe the off handed mention of a crush.

And yes, I know it can be a bit of an issue to complain about ROMANCE movies supporting amatonormativity, especially when these films have many other things wrong with them other than that. But also see: I had to watch these every fucking year with my mother and so as an angry aroace i think i can tear into them as a treat :)

I've probably missed some things and tbh this post is likely all over the place, I tried my best with my ADHD. If you also had to put up with these films feel free to leave your own analysis on them or make any additions/corrections. It's been at least a year since I've seen these films and I'm sure I've left things out + missed the new films which might change some things (Tho i doubt it. Hallmark has a formula that they stick to rigidly with these)

So yeah TL:DR Hallmark christmas movies are definitely full of amatonormativity and It's interesting to look at and tear apart the harmful ideas within the movies. Thanks for coming to my ted talk and whatnot lmao

#text #amatonormativity #aro #aromantic #aroace #tbh theres probably a bunch more that i just cant think of atm #also might be worth discussing how the amatonormativity effects the audience of these films which seem to be in large part Mothers #idk what happening there but im sure there is something #like also the fact the amatonormativity often effects the female characters most heavily in these films #which again is a whole bag of worms in of itself #*slaps hood of car* These movies can fit so many problems into them #literally u can write essays on these movies and every issue they have LMAO #these films are a fucking mess

[pussymasterdooku]

[continues to utilize a tag-only approach to personal posts because that’s the way my brain is wired i guess]

#today on allie liveblogs her parents divorce #alhpd #so my dad has his horrifying little friendship with his 25 year old employee who he treats Very Differently from his other employees #which i can’t even get into but it has been a huge point of contention in my parents’ already long-contentious marriage #for about six months now #she lived with them and it was NOT right #but now they’re all in florida. and my parents are going to her family’s thanksgiving. my mother does NOT want to be doing this #and my dad just called to wish us a happy thanksgiving #and i was like. have fun at the [redacted]s lol. and he was like Haha Your Mom Is Mad. I Can’t Win! I Just Won’t Say A Word All Night! Ha! #and it’s like. dude. you are the one who cornered her into going to her personal thanksgiving from hell #if you listened to her for ONE SECOND EVER you might uh. understand why the move would have been to NOT GO TO THIS THANKSGIVING #and then you WOULD NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM #you’d think now that she’s actually used the d word he’d make more of an effort but it is 1-forward 5-back with him #We Are All Trying So Hard For You Stephen. 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 #a ten is blogging