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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

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Hit me Baby, One more Time (Wrestler Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 10 here

Chapter 11

Summary : You cuddle loki and jack takes you out on a date. That's Right

Warning : Mentions of child abuse, domestic violence (don't read if it's triggering please), some 18 + content

Taglist : @colifower @karuna11 @vbecker10 @the-wounded-healer05 @hayden429 @offgoodluck @limiworld @12-pm-510 @daddylokisqueen @lokislovingvalkyrie @3ddiebrock @chaotics17 @rat-p1ss @wheredafandomat @notmesimpingforanothabritishlad @salinawhite07 @sluttybitchs-world @dren-whalen @catalina712 @bouffantofdoom

As soon as you heard his soft gentle voice asking you to cuddle him, you felt all warm and fuzzy, that's how you used to feel with Jack when he would compliment you on something. He already looked miserable with his face all beaten up and you have never heard him so soft "You want cuddles? Is that what you want loki?" You looked up at him as you intertwined your fingers with his, the action making him feel warm too "Would you give me that birdy?"

You didn't answer him you just started to walk away with his hand in yours, towards your bedroom and he smiled, you have changed into a button up shirt that looked too big on you, he wondered if it belonged to jack and the thought made him upset a little but he wasn't going to show you that. You're not his afterall.

When you reached your bedroom, you asked him to lay down on the bed, he took out his phone and wallet from his jeans and took his watch off his wrist, he placed them all on the bedside drawer, and laid down on the right side, then you crawled up on the bed and laid sideways, same as him, both facing each other, you looked so small as compared to him and he adored it, you were afraid to get too close to him and irritate his wounds further but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in.

"You're hurt loki, take it easy please" you mumbled softly, you remind him of someone when you care about him like this "I'm okay birdy" you hesitantly placed your arm around his waist, for a well built guy his waist seemed pretty slender, you liked that he wasn't overly muscular like other wrestlers you saw there, but just enough to intimidate his opponents, enough to make you feel small, not that it would have made a difference.

"You want to apologise to me for your behaviour in your dressing room today" you mumbled and he chuckled "I don't apologise darling, but I shouldn't have behaved that way, it wasn't your fault that I lost, it was mine that I am so weak" you heard him and sighed "You're not weak loki, it just wasn't your day, sometimes when I'm on stage, doing a routine that I rehearsed a million times, I still screw it up, and sometimes I'm not prepared at all, and still ace it, you were not weak today, your heart just wasn't fully into it and it happens sometimes" you mumbled and he held you tightly.

He wished he could believe your words, he wished he could believe that he wasn't weak, but he was, he lost and he is useless if he lose, he is incompetent, his life have no meaning if he's not able to protect her, if he's not able to be strong for her mother "Thanks for that motivational speech, add it to your resume" he chuckled and you rolled your eyes "I would like to see you dance someday" he mumbled and you smiled "You can come tomorrow at the studio and watch if you like"

He has invited you for his matches all these times and you wanted to show off your skills too. Jack always admired your dancing skills and how hot you looked like that. But you could never bring all that confidence back to the bedroom for some reason "Sweet, I'll visit after my training sesh" he told you and you whispered a soft goodnight, it didn't take him long to fall asleep with you.

He watched his father dragging his mother by her arms as she winced,he took her to their bedroom, his mother seemed scared so he followed, can't have his ma in pain. And he watched his father slap her violently, his instinct kicked in, he wanted to protect her, a nine year old boy wanted to protect his ma from his father, he had never seen him hurt her like this. So he ran, he ran towards them and he tried to kick his father and punch him with his little arms and legs. But much to his dismay, his father picked him up with one arm and threw him away and then he was beaten up "No no, not him, leave my boy alone please" he heard his mother's voice and he cried even more "You're so weak Loki, just like your useless mother, you can't even get up, you pathetic swine"

He woke up in sweats, his sudden shift away from you made you wake up too, he was sweating and breathing heavily, his loss must have triggered his nightmare. He got up and quickly put his watch back on his wrist, he can't be vulnerable around you. "Are you okay loki?" You asked him, his back turned to you as he sat on the edge. "Yeah, just, it's 4 am, I have to go for my morning run" he told you and you sighed "You run at 4 am?" Who does that?

"Yes, I mean no, but I have to go home and change and I have to go, thanks for the cuddles sweetheart" he composed himself, turned around and he kissed your forehead, then he looked at you as you wiped his forehead "You're all sweaty" you mumbled, you could have sworn that you saw his eyes teary but it must have been the figment of your imagination "I'll see you?" He asked you or told you and you responded in yes.

And then he was gone, thankfully Tonya didn't come at night, you were not sure if you wanted to explain all this to her, when you woke up next morning, you checked your phone and jack called you 19 times so you called him back and he picked it up instantly "Why did you call me so many times Jackie, I mean jack?" You asked him, your voice still groggy from sleep and he smiled "I was missing you y/n, I was hoping we could meet again please, let me fix this, I made a huge mistake" he told you and you sighed "You cheated on me jack, that's not exactly something I can just forget and I still suck in bed like you said"

You argued "Oh you do? Wrestler loki didn't make you any better?" He spat and you were shocked with the tone of his voice "What are you talking about jack?" You sat up at the accusation, how did he know? "I saw you in his dressing room y/n, that night and I felt so hurt, so jealous, he's not the kind of guy you should get involved with y/n, trust me I know his type" he told you and you sighed "I know that and nothing is happening between us okay, Tonya took me there"

You lied to him and for a second you felt bad about it but there was no denying the fact that you still needed his love.

The worst part is that despite his ill treatment you still crave his affection, his validation.

Loki's voice rang in your head and you ignored it. After you hung up on him, you quickly got ready and texted Loki. Maybe Jack is right, you're only inviting trouble by getting yourself involved with someone like him, his reputation speaks for him. You don't need any proof, not to forget he tried to fill your head against jack, jack would never hurt you like that, he has loved you these past three years.

You didn't respond to him after that, he's not your boyfriend, or your friend, or anything, he's your rebound guy? That's not even a thing to be honest, you don't have to feel bad about this, he fucked Tonya and cary and countless other women, he's probably fucking someone else right now.

You got ready and went to the studio, but you couldn't stop thinking about him through out the day, he was so sweet last night with you, when you told him about your insecurities, he didn't leave or make fun of you like you expected, he calmed you down and he made you feel good about yourself, maybe you're judging him tad bit harshly just because he fucks everyone.

You didn't respond to his last text so you dm'ed him again and he responded few minutes later ,

Okay that took a turn, he was filthy but not in an uncomfortable way, he was easy to talk to and you felt safe around him. Maybe you shouldn't have asked him to not come, but Jack what about him? Maybe he regrets what he did. Why would he come to you and beg for forgiveness if he didn't? So You asked Jack to meet you and he agreed and you chose a restaurant where you both can meet, it was a date or not, you couldn't decide.

When you came back from the studio, you dressed up, and got ready, you did your makeup too, who were you trying to impress here? You had no idea, when you reached the restaurant he was a complete gentleman with you, he put the chair out for you, he ordered your favourite things, he remembered everything you liked. For a moment you did forget all about the fact that he cheated on you with someone more exciting.

On the way back he took you to his apartment, just for a drink he said so you went in. It was a two bedroom apartment, and he lived alone here. You have been here before, so you didn't feel uncomfortable or anything,

"I had fun today" you said to him as he offered you a beer but you asked for a cup of tea or coffee instead "Me too baby, reminded me of simpler times, back in Ohio" he told you and you teared up then he walked over to you.

He was a tall guy, almost 6 feet but Loki had a good 4-5 inches on him and he made you feel like a dwarf. Jack then cupped your cheeks and he wiped your tears "Why did you hurt me like that jack?" You asked him and he kissed you softly "I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do but apologize, you know I regret that, what else would you want me to do?" His voice was soft but his words felt accusing, as if you were in the wrong for not forgiving him so easily.

"I would never hurt you on purpose, I made a mistake, got swept up in the lavish lifestyle of New York, forgot your simplicity. It's okay that you're boring and not that fun in bed, I am perfectly okay with that, we will make it fun" he kissed your neck as he whispered and you tried to move away from him,

Listen to me birdy, sometimes they berate you just because they can, they know your weaknesses and they know what will hurt you, and they still choose to do things that will hurt you, doesn't always make them right, it does make them an asshole.

Loki's voice rang through your head again, and all of a sudden you had a clarity. He was still hurting you in a way, his words could be mistaken for care but you could see it now, he was berating you "I have to go jack" you tried to pull away from him but he gripped your arms tightly "Let go jack" you said again and he glared at you "What? We have done this before, what's wrong?" He asked you and you teared up more. "I don't want to do this right now, that's what is wrong okay" you told him and you pushed him away, you grabbed your purse and you walked out of his apartment. Your heart racing but not for good reasons, you didn't enjoy his touch this time.

He didn't make you feel good about yourself or sexy, you still loved him though, you wished you could stop but you were not able to, you needed to be more confident around him, but what he said that night hurt you to the core, You called Loki, you didn't know why you did that but you did, he picked up after two rings "Hey birdy, Missed me?" He smiled "Can you come pick me up please?" You asked him and he asked you for the location, you told him and he stayed on call while he drove towards you

"Did he hurt you?" He asked you

"How did you know I was with him?" You asked him curiously

Now he couldn't tell you that he recognised the location cause he was there last night "I just do birdy, that's not the answer to my question" he huffed and you sighed "No he didn't I am okay, he won't hurt me like that" you mumbled and you heard him snickering on the other side of the phone. The damn snickering.

When he reached you, you sat inside the passenger seat and he looked at you up and down, he has never seen you in a dress before and you looked so good like this, he wanted to make you sit on his lap and trail his fingers all over your exposed skin "You look beautiful" he said softly and you mumbled a meek thank you

"Do you want to go clubbing?" You asked him suddenly and he stared at you then he smiled "Sure, but don't expect me to dance" he chuckled and you smiled as you heard him "Okay, you can watch me" you mumbled and damn he wanted to watch you move for him now, he took you to a high fi fancy invites only club, he had his connections, you never could have gotten an entry here on your own.

He took you to the vip lounge on the top floor of the club, and he walked you there hand in hand, a vip for the VIPs? You shook your head as you saw gorgeous ladies and handsome men all around you, some of them you recognised from movies, wait was that Robert Downey junior? Oh god, he sat down on the couch, and made you sit on his lap, then he ordered a few shots and asked you if you wanted to drink, you didn't answer him, you just gulped it down in one go, the neat shot giving you an instant head buzz.

You heard Nelly furtado's Maneater playing in the background and you giggled then you got up, and he watched you intently, his one arm situated on the head of the couch, other one on his lap, his head tilted, his legs open, he sat like a king and you felt like a stripper but you wanted to have fun, you started to move slowly, as you rolled your hips, your arms dragging from your legs to your waist, then you finally held your hair up in your fists and then you moved your head side to side.

Loki smiled as he watched you moving so sensually, he wasn't surprised, you are sexy as fuck, then you broke into a full on dance moves and he was taken aback, he knew you must be good, but you were GOOD. Another drunk girl joined your impromptu dance performance and he watched you move around with her as you allowed the other girl to grab you and twirl you. You keep surprising him.

Then you walked over to him and pulled him in by his jacket, as you rolled down on him and sat down on his thigh, your hips continued to roll on him, he smiled widely, you were turning him on so bad right now, but you were also fairly drunk, you looked happy though. He felt a little something in his heart, and he ignored it. It's all sexual, he convinced himself. So he pulled you into him and then he kissed you, and god you kissed him back with everything you had. He didn't let you drink anymore after that, he didn't want you to lose yourself completely, as hot as you got, he wanted to take care of you and protect you.

So after an hour or so, he picked you up and took you back to his car. You were starting to get sober.

"My place or yours?" He asked you and you told him to take you to his place. He's your Rebound guy right? Then he better be your rebound guy tonight.

"What did he do to you? You were with Jack before this, right?" He asked you again as he clenched his jaw, why would he care? "Nothing I told you, we went on a date sort of thing" he chuckled as he heard you "You're going on dates with him now?" He asked you and you glared at him "Yeah it's none of your business, you fuck other people" you snapped back and he smiled "Fair enough right?"

You rolled your eyes at his comment and as soon as you got inside his apartment you walked towards him to kiss him, you wrapped your arms around him and even with heels on you couldn't reach him "Trying to kiss me pretty girl?" He chuckled and you just stared at him, so he leaned his head down and he kissed you, soft at first, but then it got heated, he grabbed your waist and picked you up like a doll as if you weighed nothing.

He pushed you against the door and wrapped your legs around him securely. You didn't like it when jack touched you like that today but here you were in the arms of the man you met a month ago, melting and dripping into him with every touch, with every kiss, eager to hear his moans, eager for him to go further, to make you dance to his whims, desperate to be his good girl for the night.

When you denied to see him today, he let it go, maybe it was for the best, maybe it was good for both of you, he would never force you to be with him sexually or otherwise, he's not that kind of man no matter how he must come across or how people saw him, he didn't care about their opinions. So he didn't push you to see him, but he wanted to see you and he wanted to see more of you, all of you so imagine his surprise when he heard you saying what you said to him, trapped and smushed in his arms, as he heard your soft meek timid voice

"Lokii" you whispered, almost whining and norns he loved it.

"What do you want, little thing?" He smirked so you kissed him before you spoke

"Fuck me please"

#loki #loki x female reader #wrestler loki x reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #dom! loki x sub! reader

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its-nebula · 3 years

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V3 Boys With an Overdramatic Fem!S/O

Sigh.

That's all he does is just sigh.

He tries to word things in a way that wouldn't make you feel the need to do any theatrics, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

"S/O... We can't go on our date tonight. I'll be too caught up with work, and... there she goes."

He watched as you rested your hand on your forehead, falling backwards onto the couch, telling him to "go, go on without you".

He jumped when he heard dramatic organ music, and looked to see Kaede playing ab organ right in your living room.

"K-Kaede?! When did you-? Why is-?! How-"

Kaede shrugged, pressing the keys as you continued your monologue.

"She hired me, and I get to play an organ!"

It's a good thing he has patience!

He doesn’t quite know how to keep you from reacting in the way that you do, so he just lets it happen.

“S/O, my dear, you know that I’ll gladly support you through any emotional turmoil you may face...but all they announced was that this was their final season-”

He watched as you laid across your special fainting couch, whining about how you would have to suffer when your favorite show ended.

“Hmm... I never knew that human emotions could be so fragile before I met you.”

Kiyo didn’t mean it in a bad way, but he regretted saying anything after seeing your reaction.

“Now, now! All I meant was that, according to the studies I’ve conducted, most people usually save these dramatics for the theatre.”

Kiyo, stop talking.

“Really, I think you may have a natural affinity for it, S/O! Nobody would be able to compete with your over exaggeration of the emotions that you display, not by a mile~”

Kiyo. Stop. Talking.

A match made in Clown Hell.

The Drama King and Queen.

I hope everybody around you has prepared themselves because there is absolutely no turning back.

If somebody were to insult you, you’d act like you’d been shot in the heart, falling into Kokichi’s arms.

“No...NO! S/O! Why? Why would you do this to my precious Queen?!”

Here come the crocodile tears.

Don’t worry, it works the other way around too.

“What did you just say? You think we’re overdramatic? WAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS ANYMORE!”

The two of you could fill a pool with how many tears you produce.

Sometimes Kaede plays the piano for dramatic effect.

“Kaede, will you stop encouraging them? This is a serious problem.”

“I don’t know, I just think it’s kind of funny.”

He's just... over it man.

Ryoma just really does not care anymore.

Every time he tells you news he already knows what’s coming.

“Well, S/O, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I heard the dog dies in the movie.”

Cue his girlfriend crying and monologuing about how the poor animal deserves to live!! He deserves to live!!

“...are you done yet?”

Everyone else in the movie theater lobby was staring at you after you’d been wailing about how Hollywood deserves to perish for their crimes.

Ryoma didn’t really like being the center of attention, so he just grabbed your hand and led you to the movie, a little embarrassed.

He doesn't get it :(.

"Why is S/O acting like that? It looks like her emotions system has gone into overdrive!"

He looked at you rolling around on the floor, after your favorite characters in the book you were reading kissed.

"Sorry, but us meatbags don't have hard drives! Not like you have any idea what it's like. She's just being dramatic, tell her to quit being such a drama queen!"

"I refuse to tell my girlfriend how to live her life! I will comfort her instead!"

He bends down to your level, and attempts to comfort you.

"S/O, don't worry! I will do everything in my power to make sure you're feeling better once again!"

He's so used to eccentric people that nothing fazes him anymore.

“Here she goes again. Thanks a lot for bringing it back up, Kokichi.”

You started to cry about the death of your favorite character, how they shouldn’t have been killed off so early. They barely had time for any real character development! Oh, the humanity! When will the pain end?!

Kokichi laughs because he knew you were going to do it, which is why he brought them up in the first place.

Rantaro crosses his arms and lets you complete your monologue.

“She’ll get tired eventually.”

I mean, really, it would’ve been so much better if that other character had died in their place! They were super boring throughout the whole game anyways, everybody probably forgot they existed most of the time because they were soooooo irrelevant to the plot!

“Mmmhm. That’s nice, baby.”

He’s not even paying attention, he’s flipping through a magazine.

He actually buys into it.

He actually listens to every word that you say when you tend to talk on and on about the tiniest things.

Talking about how that dastardly butterfly scared you half to death by landing on your shoulder?

“Gonta make sure butterfly no can scare S/O anymore!”

If you “faint”, he rushes to catch you, and gives you a piggyback ride.

“S/O should be more careful!”

Freaks out whenever you get overly upset.

"Miu no should say bad things to S/O! S/O is very upset!"

Gives you giant hugs to help you calm down.

"Gonta will always be here to cheer up S/O!"

Doesn't know how to react.

He always tends to forget how dramatic you are, so he says things without realizing that it may upset you.

“Yeah, some guy tried to fight me earlier today, but-”

Kaito? Someone was trying to hurt your Kaito? But why?!

He frowned as you started to cling onto his jacket. You told him how you regretted not being there for him in his hour of need, and how you were basically the "worst girlfriend ever".

"Hey, S/O! You know I still love you, right?"

You weren't listening as you told him how you understood if he broke up with you.

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed you and kissed you to make you shut up.

"I said, I love you! You're such a drama queen, S/O, I'm fine! It'll take a lot more to faze Kaito Momota!"

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scintillasofbeomgyu · 3 years

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˚ · . 𝘁𝘅𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻! — 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨/𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮

pairing: txt x fem!reader

genre: f l u f f ; comfort (?)

word count: 1,2k (in total)

warning: this was not proofread ksjsjd

a/n: this has 100% been done before, but as someone who has been having bad days recently, this helped me feel a little better. i hope you all enjoy!

᠃ ⚘ choi yeonjun:

he softly knocks on the door before entering; carrying with him a shopping bag filled with snacks in one arm, and a stack of dvd's in the other. you're sitting at your desk keeping your mind busy with an assignment, doing your best to keep your composure. yeonjun was very aware of the fact that it was difficult for you to express your feelings, as you felt it was burdensome on others. and although he often assured you of the fact that he never felt that way, he also never forced you to open up. he gave you all the time and space you needed, while still showing you he was there.

he places the goods onto your mattress and whirls your chair around, you stare at him in surprise and his heart aches a little when he notices the damp corners of your eyes. “when did you get here? i'm just finishi–”

he wraps his arms around your waist and carries you to your bed, giving your forehead a big kiss after gently lowering you onto the blankets. he brings your laptop closer after sliding in the Princess Diaries cd and tosses you the shopping bag. he climbs into the bed with you, and attaches himself to you before wrapping you both in a blanket burrito.

you try to protest, but he only cuddles you tighter and opens his mouth, “my hands are busy, can you open the spicy chicken crisps for me, babe?”

᠃ ⚘ choi soobin:

as i'm sure we all know, being a leader is not an easy job, but it certainly comes with its perks. that being, every challenge you encounter, enabling you to grow that much more as a person. and that's exactly why soobin is an expert at listening to you and giving you good advice, while still being able to give you those words of affirmation.

he'd nod along quietly every once in a while, to show you he was listening attentively to your rant about how you felt underappreciated at work. you did everything to help out, and although you knew you shouldn't do it expecting thanks, it still made you feel horrible.

“i understand, i'm sorry that you feel that way, love,” he'd say, pulling you into his lap. he rested his head against your back; one arm snaking around your waist while the other clasped yours gently. “it's amazing enough that you've kept going for so long, i'm proud of you. maybe we should rest today, hmm?”

he'd let the others know he wouldn't be back to the dorms when you finally fall asleep, and he'd spend the entire weekend right by your side. cozy home dates, visiting the library, going to the movies, little picnics in the park and your boyfriend showering you with endless love!

᠃ ⚘ choi beomgyu:

he'd come home from practice to find you curled up on the sofa, staring out of the living room window as the raindrops trickled over them. he may be very playful, but beomgyu is almost hyperaware of the feelings of other people– even more so of those of his girlfriend.

he'd hang his coat over the rail in the hallway, and push his bag into the corner– something which he never did unless you shouted at him. treading carefully over the floor in his white socks, he'd plop down on the sofa next to you and cuddle into your side. you'd be startled at first, but once you realize it's your messy haired boyfriend, you smiled. his presence already made you feel so much better.

“you're home early,” you'd say, before pulling your nose up in disgust, “and sweaty.”

chuckling softly, he'd only move closer to you. “how was your day?”

you'd sigh before telling him, the days events replaying through your mind, knowing all too well what his reaction would be.

“oh, okay. i see,” he'd say, sauntering back over to the doorway. you'd raise an eyebrow at his calm demeanour; a smile tugged at your lips when he slipped his shoes on, realizing what was going on.

“beomgyu, what are you doing.”

“what does it look like?! i'm on my way to end someone's life.”

᠃ ⚘ choi taehyun:

you rubbed your eyes, the dried tears from earlier in the afternoon making them itch. your nose caught a whiff of a delicious aroma coming from the kitchen and your tummy grumbled. you found taehyun at the counter, fixing burgers together in the apron your mom wore whenever she came over.

the sound of your giggling startled him a bit, but he gave a warm smile and gestured for you to come closer. he draped an arm over your shoulder and kissed your forehead, then picked up one of the fries from the bowl and fed it to you. “you cooked?”

“no, yeonjun-hyung came over while you were asleep. i paid for the ingredients though.” you snorted, finding the evidence, of what must have been his attempts before resorting to yeonjun, in the sink.

you sat down at the counter, but before eating, he'd take your hand and lightly brush his thumb over your knuckles. “you're more than i deserve, don't let anyone feel like you are less than that ever again. i love you, and you are wonderful. if you ever need a reminder, no matter what time of the day it is or how far away i am from you, i will give it to you.”

although taehyun isn't the type to be overly affectionate, in the ways that others are, he hates to see you upset. he'd come running whenever need him, and he would not move a muscle until you felt better.

᠃ ⚘ huening kai:

you craned your neck from the computer screen at the sound of a knock at the door. you had gotten into an argument with your mom earlier, about whether writing counted as a 'real' job or not, and decided to visit your boyfriend to let off some steam. thankfully, the other members were out, so didn't have to filter anything out and could scream till your heart's content.

hueningkai listened attentively, making expressions which matched the tone of your voice and body language. he'd panic a little when you began choking up, but only because it'd pain him to see you in such a state. he pulled you into a hug, caressing your hair as you gripped onto his grey hoodie. “it's okay, i'm here. let it all out, (y/n).”

you opened the door to the room he shared with taehyun, thinking perhaps they had all returned from their schedules. but what you found, cracked a big smile across your face. mollang was perched up in the hall, with a tray of cookies, milk and ice cream in front of him. you picked up the note and the pink peony from the top of mollang's head, giggling at your boyfriend's cute handwriting before running off to find him.

you're feeling a little down today, right? (〒﹏〒) mollang knows your mom didn't mean those mean words, okay! we all believe you can do it and work towards your dream! huening told me he doesn't doubt for a second that his princess will conquer them all! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ so, huening's beloved (y/n), fighting!

love,

mollang ( ꈍᴗꈍ) (not hueningkai!)

Requests are still open for now, but will be closed sometime soon so I can focus on the projects I’m working on!

#txt #txt reactions #txt imagines #moacabin #txt scenarios #yeonjun #soobin #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #txt fluff #kpop fluff #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop #tomorrow x together #txt x reader

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justherefortaylorswift · 6 years

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there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!). It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED).

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.] We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight.

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans. It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity. It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you.

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]: 1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

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