#i may be projecting a bit

[robertseanleonardthinker]

house and wilson r both autistic and on complete opposite ends of the spectrum

(bear with me here i'm autistic myself and it's hard to articulate my thoughts)

wilson masks heavily. he knows he's different than everyone else and he tries so desperately not to be. he wants to be seen as a normal guy. he's the furthest thing from it but nobody needs to know that if he can help it. he knew he was different since he was a kid and it upset him. he worked so hard to create an image of himself that is palatable. he is very concious abt it. he clings to normalcy. his knuckles r white and his nails r digging into it. the only person he is ok with letting go of it for is house. house is is safe space. house is the one person he knows will not care if he acts a little different.

house, however, doesn't mask very much at all. if he wanted to, he probably could (although i also partially think he couldn't) but he doesn't. he just doesn't give a shit. he doesn't care abt what ppl think and he doesn't rlly care how he affects them either. he says what is on his mind. he is the way he is and he feels no shame for it. social rules r stupid and he doesn't respect them. he doesn't respect any rules.

wilson is primarily sensory avoident. he likes peace and calm. he especially doesn't like visual overstimulation. he likes things to be neat and pristine. when his space is organized, he can function. his environment influences the state of his head.

house is very sensory seeking. he thrives in chaos. he needs the outside world to be as fast and loud and hectic as his mind is. he needs noise and things to look at and something in his hand (his stupid red autism ball). he's never doing nothing when he's thinking. he likes soap operas and crappy reality tv partially because it's good background noise. it doesn't take up much brain power, but it's still a constant noise.

wilson has big body language. he is very expressive. i know this is rlly bc rsl is a stage actor and that's what they do but. let me have this. but that's just how he is. every symptom of autism exists on its own spectrum. some autistics have a very flat affect, very little body language, and very little expressions. some (wilson) have the exact opposite.

house doesn't outwardly show many of his emotions. he definitely feels them, they're very intense, but he doesn't display them. he isn't expressive, and it's not by choice. that's just naturally how he is.

this is more of a headcanon but whatever. wilson likes stim toys. he stims subtly (part of him trying to cling to normalcy. he needs to stim and he knows that but he won't do anything like hand flapping or rocking.), like with a fidget cube or one of those spinny rings. when he's alone, he'll sometimes let himself stim in bigger ways and it's a great release. he doesn't rlly need to stim as much as house does tho. also i think he'd love pressure and cuddling for stimulation. he'd like to be squished.

house is always stimming. this isn't a headcanon. this man is always doing something! pacing, playing with his ball, listening to music, he's always doing something for some sort of stimulation. he likes vestibular stimming and big full body stims best. he likes to move and do things. he likes to be busy. a fidget toy won't do much for him. he was a pretty active person before the infarction, and that was a great release for his emotions. but now he can't do the things he used to so he needs to constantly be moving. he doesn't get a big release so he's just constantly letting it out.

they're both very particular abt their ways of living, but they do not live the same way. wilson likes calm, house likes chaos. if this is disturbed, they get upset and distressed.

wilson has more shutdowns, house has more meltdowns. not to say they don't have both, tho.

also i feel the need to say this: house's special interest is humanity. he loves puzzles and humans are the greatest one of them all. everything he does is motivated by his need to know why people do what they do. oh and also monster trucks.

#anyone feel free to add ur own thoughts #autism #autistic greg house #autistic james wilson #house md #james wilson #greg house #i may be projecting a bit #(probably a lot) #the autism is autismimg tonight

[ur-favorite-puppyboy]

it’s been said by several people already, but there’s just something about royal x knight pairings that just

a knight showing their prince what roughness is in the most intimate and delicate way possible, a king helping their knight embrace softness and vulnerability, both reassuring the other that they’re safe with them, free to drop their mask and explore desires they wouldn’t have allowed themselves otherwise

#i may be projecting a bit #i’m both prince and knight here #don’t talk to me i’m dealing with thoughts #maybe i should get back into writing #anyway #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #nsft ftm #ftm puppy

[dr-reids-fidget-toy]

oh dear god

kutner did what

#house #house md #lawrence kutner #dr kutner #kutner house #this is especially bad #bc i love him #but he is also me #in a way #'we all thought he was fine he smiled a lot he was goofy. the pain was in the past. he talked to people about his pain.' #yeah he did and he was #and at the end of the day he'd go home and be alone with his thoughts #they knew it hurt and he had someone to talk about it with #and still he struggled every day. most times he was alone. #i may be projecting a bit #god #dr house #tw suicide #tw sui ideation #the difference is that thats never a thing that will happen with me #not an option #because not letting it be an option is the only way i can keep it from seeming like the best option #there was like no lead up that they showed #and thats kind of what hit the hardest #cause thats how it is a lot of the time #who let him have a gun #who the fuck #let this man #have a gun

[meloncalic]

headcanon:

the captain gets engineer!mark those children science kits occasionally mostly as a joke and he loves them

#markiplier #in space with markiplier #iswm #i may be projecting a bit #those were so cool when i was little #especially the ones where you can make your own candy #i just randomly thought of this and it made me smile i had to share #calsdumbthoughts

[astragatwo]

I liked her a lot, actually

#my art #project moon #limbus company #lcb nelly #holy fuck astra's posting art !?! ? insane #i finally (almost) caught up after dropping pm for a bit for my sanity #here's my designated fave of the new canto and thankfully not dead i would have been very sad :( #shoutout to one of my best friend's obsession w heathcliff for finally motivating me to get caught up #time to forget abt this blog again until may #drawn in flash. fun aspect is debatable. it'll happen again

[lovely-jjh]

And if I said that Aaron Minyard greets every new adult with a miss/mister or ma’am/sir because it was beat into him by his mother to make her look good? And he never stopped because when he forgot to as a kid he would get beat? And it took him months to stop calling abby Miss Abigail and coach Mr Wymack because he was scared to get in trouble? What then??

#aftg #all for the game #aaron minyard #kevin day #allison reynolds #andrew minyard #dan wilds #matt boyd #neil josten #renee walker #may be a bit of projection #i just think he would be overly polite until he finally got comfortable #andrew is the one who finally tells him to knock it off #and surprisingly it actually works

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

(non)binary stars

a short brainplayer comic strip about reincarnation and gender

-> part 1 of the “astra inclinant, sed non obligant” series

[concept art + notes available on ko-fi]

#brainplayer #plain kh #khml #khml player #brain kh #my art #some context for those who don’t know: #I headcanon Player as nonbinary/genderfluid (I don’t wanna say it’s the consensus across the fandom despite how prevalent it is) #I like to think Player2 would also have some ambiguities about their gender that they may not have figured out yet #reincarnation is weird; gender is weirder #yeah okay maybe I’m projecting a bit #I also can’t resist the brainplayer ship; there’s so much potential for both of them to find solace in each other #I’m enamored with how they could be together #my posts #aisno #family feud scala edition

[fcthots]

your writing has me kicking my feet n giggling 🤭🤭

i keep thinking abt overstimulating Jason,, like he’d be super whiny and he’d be begging you to let him cum while you tease him,,,, someone sedate me

(also can I be ⭐️ anon??)

Absolutely you can!!! Thank you!! And fr he’d be such a whimperer. THIS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. (I want him to beg me to choke him)

He’s already cum twice and he’s so sensitive. Technically three times, because it all started when you caught him jerking off.

He’s on his back with tears leaking out the side of his eyes. The first time, you made him ride your strap. The second time, you had him jerk himself off while you watched. Now you wanted to peg him. You’re playing with his nipples and using your strap to tease his entrance. He’s too fucked out to think and you can tell. You can see it in those pretty eyes.

“You like this, yeah?” He makes an affirmative sound in response and nods his head. You smile. “Think you can go again for me?” You can see the debate going on in his head. “Just one more, baby. Wanna make you feel good. You’re doing such a great job for me. Just one more. You can do that, can’t you?”

You watch his arm come up and grab your neck so you’ll come down and kiss him. You trail the kisses down toward his neck. Finally, you slowly enter him and he whimpers. The more you go, the more he whimpers.

He knows he can squeeze you anywhere three times and you’ll stop, but he just reaches for your hand to hold it. You hold his hand and let your other hand drift to his neck. “Good, Jay. So good. You ready?”

He nods and watches you grin. “Then let’s flip you.”

Jason loses the ability to make any noise other than whimpering something that sounds an awful lot like “mommy”.

#listen… I want to choke Jason Todd while he calls me mommy and that’s on me. I may have projected a little bit. #jason todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader smut #red hood smut #red hood x reader smut #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #red hood x you #red hood imagine #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x afab!reader #saph’s thots #⭐️ anon #saph’s love letters

[ros-sauce]

saw the nightcord event song preview, remembered hit song "it's a wonderful cat's life", experienced severe brainrot, and now i have a pretty image

#mizumafu #mizuki akiyama #mafuyu asahina #prsk fa #project sekai fanart #prsk #project sekai #project sekai colorful stage #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #25ji #i think mizuki is a mixed breed and mafuyu is a maine coon #u cannot tell me he doesn't have maine coon vibes look at him #this may just be bc i like him and i also like maine coons though. who knows #mizuki probably has some siamese #bc they remind me of my own siamese cat a little bit #ANYWAY #enjoy #ros sauce art #my art #nightcordposting #sekaiposting #society if i remembered the following tag #transmasc mafuyu agenda

[fuyoart]

#mr building man #i may have projected just a little bit #kaveh #genshin impact #my art

[inventedfangirling]

Pran's Growth : from pran-so-cool to pran-in-love

Since I did one for Pat I thought I should do one for Pran too although this one turned out slightly different than Pat's and far faaaar (im talking crazy levels of scrolling far) more detailed because i'm only human idk how to be brief about Pran FORGIVE ME.

Look at him he's my baby, i just CANNOT. So that now we have established that I have unexplainable levels of fondness for him, and so can only view his actions through love tinted glasses which means i'm basically Pat which means I'm super qualified to write this post, lets move on to what i actually wanted to say.

The first glimpse we get of Pran's mind (if you look in the chronological order of events in the show's universe) then its during his conversation with Pat where they discuss what song to perform for christmas.

Here we see the normally closed off Pran share his feelings (albeit about the topic of the song) with Pat with an ease that feels uncharacteristic of the Pran we come to see later. Because while Dissaya was still overbearing and controlling, Pran hadn't had to bear the worst of it yet. For a single child without friends that he could really open up to, it was natural for Pran to feel a pull towards Pat boisterous though he was, because he offered him a space where he could for the first time in his life open up in. 

It could be argued that Pran didn't reveal anything to Pat (it could be argued otherwise too i will get to it soon) but for a person of Pran's nature, who finds expressing himself difficult the space Pat offered for him to express his creativity and his passion for music and song writing was by itself a lot. But it's not just that. Pran is not only talking about a random song is he? He is talking about putting his actual feelings into the song. How he likes the feeling of hesitation of wanting to jump in but being afraid to be heartbroken.

He is knowingly or unknowingly speaking about his own feelings with respect to Pat. I say unknowingly because it is hard to imagine Pran really revealing his heart like that if he really knew what he was going through at that very moment.

And how does Pat react to Pran's words. He pays attention, listens intently and encourages Pran's idea. Pran opened up and Pat let him and Pran actually felt great about it. Its one of the rare moments in his life where he could be honest about something so special. 

And then Pat goes on doing random thoughtful acts like making the guitar pick out of his own ID just cos he saw Pran was struggling to play the guitar without it. He had nothing to gain and he still did that. He is nice to him. He says hi to him by the juice stand, he tells him he'd see him in the music room. Like he wants to see him there. Pran almost forgets their family feud. He was falling in love after all. How could he not?

The feeling being new to him, Pran like any teenager was curious to see what would happen? 

What if I step closer? What if we spend more time together? What if i was more nice to him? Could something actually happen?

But then he sees InkPat in the music room and Pran loses the spirit he had suddenly gained. 

Maybe not. Pat probably didnt feel the same way.

 And then the bracelet thing happens. 

Of course he didnt feel the same way. 

And then the christmas show happens and they practice together again, they play music together again and music and his feelings for Pat have somehow been inextricably intertwined ever since that conversation they first had about the song. And so here he was finally singing the song in front of people, declaring his feelings out loud, and the crowd was actually cheering and grooving to their song and the whole vibe of it puts him in a space where he feels anything could happen and in a rare moment of indulgence he turns to smile at Pat while singing the song he wrote about them. 

But then before he could even taste the feeling of freedom that that performance was potentially offering him, it all comes crashing down as he sees his parents standing in front of him, face aghast and anger writ large on it. And before Pran knows it he's shipped off to a boarding school away from everything he ever knew.

For any teenager that's a harsh change. For a neurodivergent gay introvert like Pran it would have been an even more isolating experience. Finding himself in an unfamiliar environment with no friends, no family and just a bunch of strangers, his only companions the anger and frustration at the whole situation at his mother and the boy who broke his heart (oblivious though he was of it).

How could Pran have let this happen? How could he have ever thought there was something there? And even if there was, that something could happen? How could he let him in? Of course it was gonna end up like this.

3 years at the boarding school pass and we can assume that Pran makes his own set of friends during this time. But we know that none if any are close enough for him to even bring up later on. Which means the one person who got him to open up, who gave him a safe space to talk and share feelings was still Pat. The one person he didn't have to be anything other than himself was, Pat. The only person who he ever felt comfortable enough to open up to was Pat. And Pran can't believe his terrible luck when he sees him stand across from him. 

Unlike Pat who has seemingly gone back to acting like a spoilt child fighting for no reason who is trying to hold onto the person he had become the past 3 years when Pran sees Pat all his feelings come rushing back to him. Despite it all, despite the three years of gap where he swore to never let himself be in such a position again, the moment he sees Pat he is gone again. Because the three years felt like nothing suddenly. And he's once again standing across from the boy who broke his heart.

Why the hell did this have to happen? Out of all the universities he could go to, why this one?

And this time things are more conducive to their budding friendship. And Pat  soon gives up his macho act and somehow keeps finding excuses to spend time with him. Of course Pran's feelings sprung back up in twice the ferocity.

His defences were still up but what the hell was happening?

Why is he helping him out for no reason? Why is he offering to do that? What the hell is being like this way for? Why is he smiling at his dimples like that? This possibly can't be real.

And yet. Day after day Pat keeps coming back and Pran's defenses are slowly threatening to come down and it's scary but its also exhilarating, but it's mostly scary.

And then he's proven right. To have been scared.

Because of course Pat never feels the same way. Of course he likes Ink. Of course that's what was happening all along. Silly Pran letting himself hope again. How foolish of him.

Episode 5 is Pran scrambling to pull back and secure his defenses, Pat is never getting through this wall again. He's done with this. He can't possibly be heartbroken over and over and over again for the same oblivious guy who probably has not a single clue what he's doing to Pran's heart.

And then the freshy night happens and then Pat acts a confusing combination of angry and hurt at the bar and Pran is supposed to be celebrating but he can't wipe Pat's betrayed face from his mind and then if that wasn't enough the confrontation with Wai happens and things come to a shrieking halt in the rooftop where Pran has finally had it. He tells him.

He finally lets it out, in the most Pran way he could at that point, telling Pat to not give him any hope to not do this to him. But instead of the final nail on the coffin that he expects Pat to hammer in, he knocks the winds out of him as he tells no, because no he actually does not want to be friends. He actually wanted what Pran wanted?

After all this time?

And then they step closer and wait for a while before Pat finally leans in, giving him the kiss that he had been dreaming about since god knows how long. Except the kiss is too short and maybe Pat had only that much to give, but Pran had years worth of love and want and longing he had been carrying around and he wanted nothing more than to let it all go. And so he does. He pulls Pat closer and gives him the kiss that he's been wanting to give him forever. 

Pran tells Pat every single one of his feelings through that kiss. Because he was never going to ever be able to put them into words was he? But alas...if Pat wasn't putting the final nail on the coffin, then the wave of realizations that follow the kiss tells Pran that he needs to be the one to do it.

It's never gonna work out ever. This is the most they could ever have. And knowing that Pat returned his feelings doesn't make it any easier.

Because what the hell was he doing? Letting himself go like this!? Setting himself up for getting hurt again? Pat may have kissed him, but he liked Ink too didnt he? And even if he didn't any longer, their families hated each other. And the last time they knew they got close, Pran had to go through hell and back. 

How could he do this to himself again? No.

It is over. It has to be over. He can't keep getting hurt again.

And he pulls back.

By miles. He is done letting his guard down and getting hurt and causing hurt. This is best in the long run. He should just stay away from Pat. No matter how much it hurt. It was never gonna work out anyways.

But then Pat comes back. Pran pushes him away. He has to give up at some point. He has to. Why would he keep coming back? But Pat keeps surprising Pran. He keeps coming back and butting in and being a pain in the ass and Pran is at his wit's end because he just doesn't know how much more he can withstand. He could see how much effort Pat was putting just to have a conversation with him. And eventhough he was staying away to protect himself he also thought he was doing it for Pat's sake too. That it was better for everybody in the long run. But Pat's steadfast efforts finally get to him.

He was still the one person in the world he could truly be open in front of. His defenses were somehow at his weakest. And sitting there on that beach dreaming of a reality where their parents don't have a life consuming feud going on Pran actually lets himself open up once again. After that it was just a matter of time before Pran was lured into the who falls in love first challenge bet. Bringing their love for competing with eo into this was the only way Pran could be eased into this.

Pat knows him so well. They've come so far. What the hell, he could win this challenge couldn't he? Pat followed him all the way to their hostile architecture trip didn't he? He would cave in.

Pat keeps surprising him though he keeps finding new ways to flirt and stump him, and Pran never to be beaten has a few tricks up his sleeve too.

Neither end up winning and things stay in that will they won't they when will they limbo and there was all chance of it continuing indefinitely and then Pat surprises him again.

He doesn't take Pran's easy out. Pran had basically offered to confess and end this bet. Pat was being handed an easy win. But he declines it. And then he surprises him even more by walking into the loss, showing up to play Kwan in a drama he didn't even need to act in, in a play he signed up for just to flirt with Pran and now the play he is offering to do, entirely and completely for Pran. At this point Pat really had the upper hand in the bet. And he still willingly volunteers to lose. He puts himself out there, knowing he will lose. Because on the other end of it Pat saw a relationship with Pran. Why prolong it any longer? And how could Pran not melt at that. Bet be damned. 

And that's why he cooks curry for Pat and when Pat tries to eat it himself, Pran stops him, looks at him meaningfully and then feeds it to him, as if signalling to Pat that if you lost for me, i'm losing for you too.

And so they start dating. And Pran now has to get used to this feeling of his defenses being down. His vulnerabilities exposed and his heart basically out there to be hurt. It was absolutely terrifying. And he wouldn't have had the courage to go for it if Pat hadn't done what he did. Showing him that he valued Pran and his feelings over his own ego. Pat's consistency and sacrifice proved beyond a shadow of doubt as somebody Pran could actually trust himself with. Over and above his overwhelming love for Pat, I believe it is that trust that helped him take that step. 

And Pat keeps showing him every step of the way that the trust was given in safe hands. After every fight, every disagreement, they stop and they talk and they communicate. Pran asks for time. Pat gives it. Pran asks him to keep it under wraps. He's okay with it. Pran compromises on a lot of things himself. He steps out of his comfort zone, willingly does things he wouldn't have dreamt of otherwise just to make Pat happier.

Because he realizes that if the relationship has to work, they both need to put equal effort. By being with Pat, Pran while being in a safe space gets to open up his heart in ways he would have been afraid to otherwise.

It is implied that Pran is the one who cooks for both of them, he leaves cute notes to make Pat smile when he's upset, he does random thoughtful things like putting the paste on the toothbrush for a waking Pat, he hurries home immediately to comfort an upset Pat, and even if it made his friend mad he still showed up to practice sessions and games because he wanted to support Pat and be there for him.

When Wai outs them it is the tremendous trust that he has in Pat and their relationship that helps Pran go over to assuage Pat and helps them get through it together. Every step of the way every block in the path they handle it together. His trust in Pat, his belief in their love growing more and more.

And that's why when Pran sees that Pat is quite serious about staying on at the beach, despite his reservations and fears and wanting to be there for his mother too he still goes all in. Of course he does. Of course he goes all in for the boy he has loved ever since he knew what love was. The one person who kept showing up over and over. The only one who he had complete and utter trust in, to be there for him. 

Because finally, finally Pran could see what he couldn't even dream of when he was young and a life he didn't dare let himself think about in their few months of relationship. A life with Pat, the kindest warmest love-shaped boy he knew, no matter how silly he could get, he would always want to be there for him, with him and he no longer felt like he had to clutch onto his defenses like they were the only thing he really had, because no? He had Pat didn't he?

The only person who knew what it was like being in Pran's shoes, and who loved him nonetheless and maybe even all the more because of it, the way Pran did with him, because he knew Pat would never hurt him knowingly.

He could do this.

He could do this with him.

His belief in their love, his trust in their relationship, the commitment that Pat expressed to him in that conversation, ensured that no matter what challenges came up later in their fake break up era, things would still be okay. It's because of that faith that Pran knew that he could afford to go to Singapore for a couple of years and they would remain strong though it all because of that assurance and confidence he felt in himself, in Pat and this relationship that they had nurtured and cherished.

We see him grow up from a boy who was scared of feeling things to a boy who was brave enough to overcome that fear to let himself be open to hurt to crying in the arms of Pat, letting himself be his most vulnerable to braving hurt to fighting for what he loves and doing what he feels is right.

We see his growth from when he went from being afraid to express his feelings to expressing that in actions and then in words and asking Pat to do the public confession and writing a song for him and asking him how good he was in bed and demanding Pat call him sweetly.

Unafraid of his wants or desires and no longer averse to expressing them. We see him growing beyond childish hijinks to buying a gift for the man who had once hurt his mother, because two things can be true at once ( Ming was an asshole, but he was still Pat's father). He was building a life with Pat, and a meticulous planner like Pran was obviously not going to leave his relationship with his future father in law to chance. 

And that's my take on how Pran went from "You still owe me" to "Every time i'm near you, nothing good happens" to "Can you please stay away from me?" to "You know that fact (that you aren't my friend) now leave" to "Someone like you what's to like?" to "You've got to stop doing this to me Pat" to "Why start when you know how it's gonna end" to "It's the kind of relationship i always avoid"  to "I care about you more" to "if you want my hand be brave" to "If i do that (thinking of it as a song for Pat) then how can i ever really quit" to "Being with you already feels like freedom" to "We like each other. Why does it bother anyone?" to "I can be anywhere as long as i have you" to "I wrote this song for him." to "Give it to him for me" to "If not you i won't allow anyone else to use it" to "Call me nicely" unafraid of expressing his feelings and desires, heart more open and loving than the one he started off with.  

To conclude and in short throughout the show the growth we see in Pran is perfectly illustrated in his password change from the Pran (who was uber protective of his own self and was emotionally repressed and closed off trying to appear cool and unaffected) of Pran So Cool to the unabashedly in love Pran (having made rapid progress in expressing his feelings and braving fears) of Pran in Love, and it's Pat's love and kindness that helped him along the way. 

The world didn't change him. Pat's love did.

#bad buddy #pran x pat #pran parakul #bad buddy meta #patpran #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy the series #i may have projected a bit #okay a lot #but im also probably right

[storeecbrcod]

I need some more highly intuitive Soap. This man has so much shit going through his head constantly, but I can guarantee half of it is just his mind breaking down how things are made, what he could use from certain substances to make totally new products (that may or may not combust).

We, as a fandom, have established that as much as we make fun of Soap’s little quirky characterisations, that at the character’s heart, he is incredibly smart. Chemistry, technology, engineering, math… this man is a himbo in STEM. He might not be able to tell you what he ate for breakfast, but you know damn well that if a recruit asked him how soap works as a stupid joke, this guy would go on a whole rant about saponification and how fricken cool it is. The blank stares from the recruits don’t ever concern him.

He’s got all kinds of things flying through his little noggin. You know how when you or someone you know buys a new car, and suddenly you see that car everywhere around you? Soap experiences the same thing, except it’s just chemical and mathematical theories. He can’t just exist in the world, his mind is in constant hyperdrive to perceive.

That’s why he’s so good at his job (and pool). His constant heightened sense of awareness allows him to soak up information like a sponge when he finally manages to turn the constant perception off, like out field. Instead of the molecular structure of different plastics, or the force needed to crush a can theoretically, he is able to manage and monitor multiple things at once; his position, his team’s position, the enemy, the direction of bullets, and sometimes even how many seconds it takes for the cease of gunfire from one weapon on the opposite side of the grounds to start up again, notifying a reload.

Ghost made the mistake of opening one of Soap’s chemistry textbooks, once. Once. Soap found him practically tweaking, just staring at the hexagons and lines and graphs and abbreviations, all making his head throb. Soap simply sighed with a smile, plucking the book from skeleton gloves and placing it down, leading the Lieutenant away.

“Don’t hurt yerself, Lt.”

“Careful, Sergeant.”

“You’re tellin’ me, yer eye’s twitchin’ like you’ve been rummagin’ through the contraband stores.”

Extra Ghoap Bonus!

Sometimes, Soap gets so overwhelmingly exhausted from not being able to turn his mind off. (Un)Surprisingly, science is everywhere, and he can’t help but think about it. When he feels a migraine coming on, neck and jaw straining after trying to rein in his overactive brain, he goes straight to Ghost.

Something about Ghost’s dry humour and blunt conversation helps ground him; he doesn’t have to worry about subtext, or necessarily work-related chat. Just silly (read: flirty) banter and bad, clear-cut jokes. Ghost allows his mind to focus on one thing while he occupies his hands. A journal, playful taps on Ghost, a Rubix Cube, fiddling.

Eventually, he manages to calm his thoughts enough to doze off, lying haphazardly across couches, a mattress, on the bench seats of the cargo planes, or even on the floor. Many soldiers could attest to seeing Ghost gently cradling the man’s head, moving him into a comfortable position, even once or twice carrying him to his barracks. Could, if a certain skull-faced soldier didn’t pierce them with a very clear warning glare at the memory, as if he could tell they were thinking about it.

#rip Ghost’s braincells #street smarts vs book smarts #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw ghost #cod mw soap #cod fanfic #ghoap #ghost x soap #soap x ghost #soapghost #ghostsoap #cod drabble #drabble #I know this is a little more niche #but I love the idea that Soap is just too intelligent for his own good #and maybe mildly ADHD #there’s a reason the military appeals to the neurodivergent folk #like my previous post this may just be me projecting onto Soap a little bit cuz I also love chemistry and can’t help but see it everywhere

[toads-n-moss]

listen i just think they deserve to dress up in silly outfits, sing and dance, and just have fun with their friends and family.

plus phoenix just gets to live his theatre kid dreams again.

i do plan to draw other characters in different sekais so stay tuned for that :3

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #maya fey #trucy wright #project sekai #wonderlands x showtime #aa sekai au #i feel a lil bad putting phoenix in wxs #mainly just because the dance routines are SO intense #i know he was a theatre kid and that can be physically demanding but #its been a while #he may be a bit rusty

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Might fuck around and try to make another batch of mushroom and caramelized onion pastries later

#mushroom and caramelized onion pastries #i have all of the disparate ingredients here including puff pastry sheets in the freezer #and i have some ideas for enhancing it a little bit from last time too #i now have fresh herbs growing in the house for one #also bought some really amazing balsamic vinegar that i may add to the onions #and have some better cheese to grate over the top #i wish i had someone to cook for because these will be bomb as hell and i want to share them #faye's most excellent baking projects

[soplapinga]

Watch me make Pluto transgender mentally canon to ME

#sorry ive been trying to avoid the voices but they started screaming my bad #this may be me incredibly projecting + desiring some type of rep of SOME KIND in something where its shows plot isn't revolved around *that* #i just want something where a pretty average 90% male looking character goes “actually im trans” and maybe dip a bit into that but thats it #no clues or hint from the starts NO ONE saw it coming it just happened and oh great !! alright !!! and we keep going #anyways #pluto nevermore #nevermore #nevermore webtoon #headcanon #lgbt headcanons

[0809sysblings]

Amane, indoctrination, and gaslighting

and why voting Amane innocent would be the best course of action

I've been wanting to write a big post on Amane talking about indoctrination and such. Because I see takes sometimes that make it clear the person doesn't really... Get It.

Most of what I'll be explaining comes from my personal experiences growing up.

Additionally, most of what I say when it comes to outcomes (i.e. "If x happens, Amane will do y") will be based on the assumption that realism, not entertainment, is prioritized in the writing and that there are no major holes in our knowledge of what's going on. Theoretically anything could happen since this is a fictional scenario and we don't know everything when it comes to the world, the cases, and the characters. Not to mention my situation was nowhere near as extreme as hers. So although I probably have a better understanding of it than most people, I definitely can't claim that I know what she's gone through.

Personal anecdotes I add to better support my points will be in the small font (this!) since I don't want them to distract from the main text and so that they can be easily skipped for those who may be worried about being triggered. But if anyone needs plain text descriptions, I'll happily provide them!

!! TW for child abuse, religious abuse, and cults !!

I recommend skipping my personal anecdotes if more detailed discussions about these topics are a trigger for you.

At the heart of "good" (read: successful) indoctrination is gaslighting.

Since gaslighting has been one of the many psychology terms completely watered down and distorted by the internet, I will define it just so we're all on the same page!

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation used to make the victim question their own sanity, sense of reality, or power of reasoning.

Basically, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts, your feelings, your interpretations, etc. You become completely reliant on other people (usually specific people who are the ones doing the gaslighting) to figure out what's real/true or not.

Toxic/extremist religious groups like to take gaslighting a step further though. Not only do they make it so you cannot trust yourself to judge what is right or not, they may also teach you that what feels wrong is actually right. You can see where this can start to cause some issues lol.

Anything your gut may tell you that contradicts what the group/cult leaders tell you—"this is wrong!", "this is bad!", "I don't want to do this..."—must be ignored. Because those feelings and thoughts, according to the leaders, are actually the sinful part of you trying to lead the good and faithful part of you astray. They make you question yourself to make sure you never question them.

They will figuratively or literally beat this into you until your first instinct is no longer to listen to your gut and do what it says, but to dismiss it and do what it's telling you not to do. Existing becomes a chronic power struggle between your unconscious mind and your conscious mind. Unfortunately, the fact that you're struggling often then gets used against you as proof that you need to follow their teachings. Because if you're unhappy, then you must be doing something wrong. You just need to have a little more faith, dedicate a little more time to the religion/group, go a little harder into your duties... Only then will you feel better—feel more enlightened.

An integral part in making all this work is isolation. If you don't somehow isolate the members, they may figure out that they're being manipulated and abused.

Now, isolation doesn't always mean purely physical isolation (though Amane is being isolated physically to at least some capacity). Psychological isolation is almost just as powerful. An almost universal psychological isolation tactic used by extremist groups and cults is the "Us vs Them" mentality. We can see this being very prominent with Amane. A lot of things she talks about with regard to the cult involves an Us-vs-Them dynamic. There is "Us", the cult, and "Them", everyone else.

Personally, we were taught that those who weren't believers of our religion were out to get us or will, at the very least, get us hurt/killed somehow. We were told many people wanted us dead just for being believers. You had to be careful and watch out when interacting with non-believers; you couldn't trust them. God was constantly testing you via others, and you had to make sure you stayed faithful.

This in particular is why no matter if you vote guilty or innocent, that itself will not actually do anything to change her beliefs. Voting her guilty will not make her start to feel bad and then question her beliefs. Voting her innocent will not make her listen to us and then question her beliefs. If we make her have any doubt about the cult, that's just proof to her that what we're telling her is wrong and is just another "trial" from God for her to overcome. So, changing her beliefs should not be a factor considered when voting since it's completely irrelevant. Everything can be twisted to support the cult. That's just how it works.

I don't think any amount of punishment will make Amane "come to her senses". I mean... what could we possibly do to her that she hasn't already had to endure? Punishment will likely only escalate things even more. Not to mention that having a bit of a fascination with martyrdom isn't all that uncommon in those who have been religiously abused and indoctrinated. The threat of punishment may only serve to motivate her to double down on her beliefs and behavior. Not to say she wants and likes punishment. It's obvious she's both scared of punishment and wants it to stop. After all, that's most likely the motive behind the murder.

Even prior to Amane's age, I was already fantasizing about being a martyr. A part of me almost wanted to be killed for my religion and community. It was seen as something extremely admirable. The ultimate sacrifice, if you will. We were taught that if given the choice between saving yourself by denying your faith or letting yourself be hurt/killed by standing your ground, you should choose the latter. Of course, I also did not want that to happen at all. It scared me shitless. But we weren't allowed to be scared about that stuff. It was seen as questioning God and the religious authorities, which was completely taboo. So I had no choice but to "want" it.

Isolating Amane is the worst possible thing we could do to her. No one gets better from being isolated, and this goes double for people living in abusive environments. She's been isolated her whole life. The best thing for her would be spending time with the other prisoners without restrictions. The more time she spends around people who have no connection to the cult, the better. Trying to argue with those in cults about why they're wrong and why they are in a cult (because most don't even recognize they're in a cult due to the gaslighting, indoctrination, and stigma) will almost always backfire. The best thing to do is to just be there for them to have someone to interact with who is not a cult member.

The only reason I left the extremist religious community I grew up in was because I made a friend who was not affiliated with it. I don't think I would've been able to see that the conditions I was living in were Not Very Good without that friend. He didn't even really do anything to actively help me. Just learning more about the real world through him was enough to make me start looking closer at my life.

To vote her guilty would be to continue isolating her. Not just physically as the guilty prisoners get restrictions put on them, but it's also an inescapable psychological isolation. Innocent vs Guilty is just another Us vs Them dynamic.

I fear that, if she ends up guilty this trial, she will likely be voted guilty again in trial 3. Her aggression will probably only escalate as she feels herself becoming more and more cornered. And since I know many people are voting her guilty solely to make sure she doesn't hurt Shidou or other prisoners, I can only imagine what the voting will look like for her in trial 3 once she's forced to become even more aggressive to protect herself.

And tbh... I can't imagine that having a prisoner with 3 guilty verdicts will make for all that interesting of a story for them. Not that it would be boring, per se. But having variety would, in my opinion, be the most interesting and entertaining! So, if nothing else I've said has been able to sway those who vote her guilty, then think about the entertainment factor!

Please vote this severely traumatized 12 y/o girl innocent. We can give her so many secret cakes to eat.

#Milgram #milgram project #milgram amane #amane momose #milgram analysis #... i guess? #ミルグラム #yeah im pulling out all the stops for this #tw child abuse #tw religious abuse #tw cults #this is a bit less in-depth than i wanted. but i also have a horrible rambling problem and am attempting to be more concise LOL #ive got shit to say you know? /ref #im so passionate about amane #pls have mercy... free my girl... #im nervous about posting this 😔. not sure why #my social anxiety is horrible. but. i very much encourage discussion and such #for amane i will conquer my demons. they may know how to swim‚ but /i/ know how to poison the fucking water supply