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#i made this a billion years ago and never posted
hauntedtrait · 1 year
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updated casual lilith fits
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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decolonize-the-left · 10 months
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I hate democrats with all my very heart but I can't in good faith advise to vote 3rd party in these hell years when they would see every trans person hang and be off hormones. When the transphobia is not at its height (Eg, like. a few years ago) I would 100% agree with you, but the stakes are too high. If the states falls to transphobia, even more countries will follow it. I think it's harmful to consider not voting D this upcoming election. Once they got off tihs current bend, I could get behind where you are coming from.
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"this is helpful and not lacking critical analysis at all"
"if the states fall to transphobia"
Where have you been?
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GA & VA are blue states this year btw. It's gotten worse since May and and April, too. The mid terms didn't save anyone.
Also if you, the person reading this, have considered voting 3rd party pls know it's not nearly as unpopular or as unlikely of a win as Democrats want you to think it is.
People would vote for a good 3rd party candidate, actually.
Dems convincing you its a long shot is absolutely a self-preserving psyop hoping to convince you otherwise. Its a half-assed theory that blatantly denies what we learned from 2016 and can still see in polls.
And that's 3rd party candidates stand a shot of they can get in the primaries for the general election. People want progressives. People were pissed and turned to voting for Trump when Sanders fell out- not Clinton.
They need and want another option and it's not a long shot or unlikely. They just need to make it to the primaries.
Enter Cornel West
Cornel West is not running as a Democrat and thus does not need to battle Biden for a spot on the general ballot in November of 2024....
✨ Which gives you and all your friends plenty of time to learn about him ✨
So here are some of his policies and also his campaign site
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I'm a decolonial anarchist that hates the state and sees voting as nothing as upholding the state. I make no room for Democrats because Democrats lack the ambition to challenge anything about it.
But unless Cornel West drops out or ends up being some awful closeted abused... Im going to vote for him.
A lot of his politics and campaign goals align with my politics. I wouldn't feel like I was settling if I voted for him.
And a lot of this stuff isn't unreasonable or unrealistic either. Like I just made a post about how the NDAA budget proposal for 2024 is being increased with enough money to solve clean water, homelessness, and implement free college tuition for the whole USA. And Republicans are fighting for more.
And that's just the budget for two years, it'll probably be increased by another hundred billion in a couple years. Nobody blinks when the military budget is swelling like that.
But we should when we can be using that kind of money to solve real problems that real people are having and face and would change lives literally overnight. They just throw that money at the military where most of us never see it again.
But this stuff can be real.
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rhysdarbinizedarby · 6 months
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Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika
**Notes: This is very long post!**
Good Weekend
In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.
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Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”
The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi ­ filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”
Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”
I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ­ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into ­spirituality, then faith, then religion.
“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”
This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”
Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).
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Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)
A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned ­coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).
Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest, always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.
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Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)
Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)
He’s remained loyally tethered to his ­origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.
With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”
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We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s ­sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice ­holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”
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Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)
It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises ­any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”
The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)
Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-­described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”
Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)
Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.
He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank ­account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”
Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the ­industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”
Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth ­certificate and passport).
Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”
He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.
He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ­ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”
“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi
He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the ­freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”
His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”
He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”
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After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)
It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only ­financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the ­people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, ­anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”
Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, ­restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”
He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.
“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”
He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi ­describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This ­motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)
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With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)
But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string ­thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”
He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s ­always a few common denominators.”
Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”
This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined “the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.
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Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)
Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, ­living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”
Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of ­unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an ­antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”
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Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He ­mentioned it only recently – not the ­moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”
What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main ­message of Boy: “The ­unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)
Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”
It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”
“This is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi
But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”
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Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)
I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”
Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”
Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.
“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”
Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.
“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”
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In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)
What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”
They certainly haven’t forgotten him.
Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.
Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”
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Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.
A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).
Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.
There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”
And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.
There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have ­wisdom to offer if others will just listen?
“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent ­portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”
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A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)
He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”
Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).
He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve ­created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“
I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”
About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”
Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”
*notes: (there is video clip in the article)
Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.
He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”
People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.
“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”
Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, ­getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind ­people of that: enjoy this moment.”
Source: The Age
By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)
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astaroth1357 · 1 year
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We Gotta Talk About Barbatos (And Kinda Solomon But This Ain't About Him)
SPOILERS for up to Chapter 16 of NB
These recent chapters have been giving us breadcrumbs about the pasts of both Barbatos and Solomon, the two of which seem to be deeply entwined. I have yet to make a post about Solomon's past (which gets twistier and twistier by the minute btw), but right now I just want to touch on my questions about Barbatos and... well. The hell is he up to?? I have one question that has been eating away at me the longer NB goes on and I think its answer could solve everything:
Is there only one Barbatos?
What I mean by this question is something along the lines of my Timeless!Barbatos idea from a while ago. Is there only Barbatos, i.e. is Barbatos a being that exists outside of the constraints of time? Is he like the controller/arbiter of time, but not subject to things like continuity himself? When he exists in a certain timeline, is that mirrored through every other timeline (i.e. multiple Barbatos that are spread throughout multiple branches) or is there ever only ONE. Just him. And he selects which timeline to inhabit?
I have this question because there are things about the Barbatos we interact with and hints dropped by others that Barbatos is, potentially, far, far older and far more powerful than I think we can actually grasp.
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Thirteen's last point is the one that really makes me wonder, because if Barbatos really has such a broad ability to transcend time and space, then it would be a bit of a nightmare if there were a billion of him running around. Any random change makes a new timeline that makes a new Barbatos with those same godlike abilities until you're completely swamped in the man. Plus, Barbatos never gives us any indication that he speaks to or witnesses his past or future selves, even when he's manipulating things from sidelines...
If there is only one Barbatos, then 1. Little Dia managed to convince, like, the singularly most powerful being in the universe to play House with him, which is such a power move. And 2. That also means any interactions we have with Barbatos in this (or any) timeline cannot be replicated elsewhere. No matter how funky our time adventures get, that Barbatos remains a constant. Thus, NB Barbatos IS OM Barbatos. Probably just hijacked by Solomon to go to past. A past he was no longer present in, because he exists in a continuous state of "present" (his presence is instantly erased from past and he doesn't appear in the future).
And for a being THAT powerful, you really have to wonder...
How much has he changed...?
In Chapter 16, we learn why Beel went berserk and destroyed the Castle. He was triggered by Lucifer explaining a banshee's scream. In OM canon, two kinds of people can hear these screams: those who will die or have a loved one who will die soon and those who have heard it before.
Beel heard a banshee scream in the human world before the War and internalized it as the warning that Lilith was going to die. Naturally, he thinks that if he had told Lucifer then he may have changed his mind but Satan drops this bombshell on us.
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A baneshee's warning is supposed to predetermine time. According to Satan, Lilith was alway going to die. But we have a problem here...
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Lilith just. Is not dead. Like. Canonically in both the OG title and in NB, Lilith survives the War. So... what gives??
Beel can hear a banshee scream and nobody else can. There's no question that someone was supposed to die. Which only leaves three options:
1. Lilith is dead. Even as a human, she perished.
2. Lilith was never made human... Someone lied to Lucifer and she's actually dead.
3. Barbatos fucked with time to save Lilith.
Option 1 would be pretty lackluster, all things considered. Though it would be a little darkly humorous if Lilith fought and survived in a Celestial War, then got hit by a car one year later or something.
Option 2 would be... so fucked up. But could also shed some light onto Diavolo's guilt about taking in the brothers. Like, imagine if he knew that nothing could be done for Lilith and still tricked Lucifer into eternal service anyway knowing that he could never check his bluff. That would be downright diabolical... and out of character, so I don't think that's the case. (Though, I could see Barbatos lying about it if it gave Diavolo Lucifer's loyalty in the end.)
But Option 3... I think that's actually spine-chilling. Imagine if Diavolo ordered Barbatos to find some way to twist time to save Lilith. And not just spare her life, but to somehow turn her human. That means that we're already playing the events of an altered timeline.
Now combine this idea with our Singular Barbatos theory. If there is one Barbatos, then this is the only timeline where he currently resides. If Barbatos wasn't in THIS timeline, Lilith would be dead. In every other timeline, Lilith is dead. And if OM keeps the detail about MC's lineage, then MC NEVER GETS TO EXIST. They can only be alive in THIS BRANCH OF TIME. There are no other MCs. Just the one (and the corpse that got phased out of being, but we don't talk about them). And this could explain why MC's very existence would be so important to a time-travel being like Nightbringer. There's only one MC to use.
Now, since MC is so powerful (possibly as being that is an aberration in time) it makes me wonder a whole lot more about where someone as powerful Solomon actually came from... How much meddling as Barbatos really done here? If... it was even Barbatos at all. 👀 (Speculation for another day)
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Apparently at some point MCU fans collectively agreed that the Blip takes place on October 17th, 2023. Which is today. So I figured I'd take the time to detail the four biggest reasons why the time jump in Endgame was a universe-shatteringly horrible idea that should never have seen the light of day
the absolute biggest problem, of which there are many, is the fact that countless people died as collateral damage in the initial Snap. Hell, we are shown it in the Infinity War post-credit scene with those multiple car accidents and that helicopter slamming into a building. And that was just the tip of the iceberg; imagine how many planes crashed because the pilots were dusted, or how many babies starved because both their parents were dusted, or people who may have died on the operating table because a surgeon got dusted. All of these people are totally ignored. It's never so much as mentioned when talking about bringing everyone back, and Tony insisting that the last five years remain unchanged is implicitly saying all of those people remained dead when the dusted returned.
the second big problem with this plot point is that it's used as an excuse for every character except Nat to be totally unrecognizable. Bruce becomes Professor Hulk, Thor gets fat, Tony has a family (and I fucking love how the movie inadvertently says he just let the world rot for five years instead of using his billions of help. That is 100% in character for him), Clint went on a mass killing spree, and Steve... I actually have no idea what made him change so radically. None of this is shown to us at all, it's just told to us.
this is less a problem with Endgame and more a problem with Phases 4 and 5, but the other worse thing about this development is that absolutely nothing has been done with it. Far From Home played the time-jump for comedy, WandaVision had that one great scene in the hospital and then did nothing else, Shang-Chi had a singular throwaway line about the Blip, Hawkeye had that one neat visual of getting Snapped from Yelena's POV and then nothing else, Multiverse of Madness had a single conversation where Strange wonders if letting Tony have his way was the only way to save the universe, Quantumania had a single scene addressing the homelessness issue and then nothing else, and I think Secret Invasion tried to do a bit of a look at how Talos reacted to the Blip, but that show was so awful that I'd rather not think about it. The only projects to do anything at all with the Blip as a major plot point are Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Eternals.
the fourth and final massive problem with the Blip is pretty simple yet complicated; it ignores the absolutely insurmountable societal implications both the Snap and the Blip would have. Think about it; half the fucking universe disintegrates into ash. There are SO many things that would do to just human society alone. But even more importantly, five years after all those people were declared dead (meaning wills are executed, spouses remarried, jobs and homes redistributed, etc) those people suddenly reappear, and from their POV it's only been a second. Just to put it in perspective, the Snap happened on April 29th, 2018. Doesn't that feel like forever ago? If the Snap were real, all those people would have been gone until today. That is such a huge mindfuck that I'm shocked no one went insane. And even looking aside from the psychological impact, all those people are pretty fucking screwed. Far From Home had a single scene addressing this, then promptly forgot about it.
My final point is less of a problem and more of an amusing byproduct; since Tony directly forbids Bruce from undoing the last five years, that means the events of WandaVision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Multiverse of Madness, and Secret Invasion are on some level his fault. That’s fucking hysterical.
I suppose I'll be absolutely fair and say that rewinding time isn't a morally perfect solution either, as you would be erasing any maturity the survivors gained during those five years, as well as anyone born in that time. But that's just all the more reason to NOT HAVE A FUCKING TIME-SKIP!!! I still think the only reason it was done was for cheap shock value.
All in all, the five-year time jump is the single worst major plot point in the MCU. Fight me.
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3 Billion Divorce - Lloyd Hansen Series (Completed)
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Character: Lloyd HansenxFem!Richreader
Summary: Reader became a rich heiress after her grandfather chose her as his successor. This reason was enough to make her relatives want her gone. Our reader is a fighter; when she finds a chance, she offers a fake marriage proposal to a sociopath mercenary. 
Words Count: 1750
A/N: Finally, I'm back. Never thought that I could make a post with Lloyd. It's been a while since the last time I posted. Hope you like it. Feedback and Reblogged are appreciated. Thank you!!!
The Italic font shows a flashback scene.
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Sometimes, simple things like waking up from a good sleep and having a coffee in the morning sound easy. To you, it sounds impossible. 
Because of everyday… 
Dangers always come to you. You must pay this price when you accept your grandfather's will. 
Four years ago,
Your grandfather wrote your name on his will to become his successor and owner of all his assets. But you have to be 35 years old before you get everything.
After the lawyer revealed the will, your relatives wanted you dead, so the grandfather's money would go to charity, and they could use it. 
Since then, your quiet life has turned to hell. 
Your relatives have hired multiple killers and assassins to kill you or make it look like a suicide. It's been four years of living like this. 
And there's only one more year left, the chasing getting more intense that you can't bear it anymore. 
Like today, you’ve been hiding in the back seat inside your car because a black Cadillac has been chasing you all day.
“I had enough with everyone who wanted me to die. What a family huh? They were born as elites but they’re monsters.”
Your old bodyguard Jimmy, an ex-Navy hired to protect you who was busy shooting the other car, said, "Y/N. To beat a monster, you have to make yourself a monster."
His words got you thinking. You want revenge on your relatives, but you don't have the ability since they have already bribed the police and judges. You are already powerless; the only person who always stays beside you is your old bodyguard. 
Before you could even get any idea, another car appeared from nowhere and hit yours.
“Jimmy!” You screamed the name that protected you before you lost consciousness.  
When you woke up, you already being tied down on the chair.
You look at your surrounding where you got kidnapped. It’s different than usual. Usually, it’s a dark basement with a horrible smell. 
But right now, you’re inside a nice room with a marble floor and Roman pillar. There’s also Renaissance painting and sculpture.  It seems like you’re in a mansion or something like that. 
The door suddenly opens, making you nervous because you are mentally unprepared to meet someone who will kill you. 
A group of men who wear bulletproof come inside the room. Lastly, a man who wears a black turtleneck and light brown pants. But you can see everything he wears is from a luxury brand. 
He leaned down and smiled at you. 
"Hello Princess, my name is Lloyd Hansen. Welcome to my home”. His voice was low and deep. 
‘His mustache looks ridiculous.’ You thought. 
His hand grabbed a screen tablet to show you the money that had been transferred.
“Someone really wants you dead. Look at the money they gave me. This is the biggest payment that I have received." You could feel the joy when he explained while you have a life crisis.
You wonder how much your relatives pay to make you go. When you saw the number… 
Ooh, it made you fume with rage. 
40 Million Dollars?!
Your life is only worth 40 Million?! 
With all the money you will get from your grandfather, your life is worth more than 40 Million. 
‘You have to make yourself a monster.’ You remembered those sentences from Jimmy. 
That gave you an idea. 
This man Lloyd Hansen, you could use him to be the monster to finish all relatives that want you dead.
"Mr. Hansen, I  don't want to die."
He nodded. "Me too sweetheart. But I've already got the money. They really want you to be gone quickly. Such a shame."
"If I gave you a proposal to make you richer, would you listen to my offer?"
Lloyd tapped his watch. "You have 3 minutes, sunshine."
“First of all, are you single Mr.Hansen?”
Lloyd let out a big laugh. 
But you didn’t laugh; you studied his character. After spending time with your bodyguard Jimmy, he taught you how to read people. You figure this man Lloyd is a sociopath, and seeing him acting childish like this, you take a bet that he is still single. 
With this, you took a chance and gathered your confidence. “I assume you are, that made my plan easier.”
You took a moment before offering the proposal because he would end your life if he didn’t like it.
"3 Billion Dollars."
'WHAT!' His soldier gasped when they heard the number.
Your offer got the attention, "I will give you 3 billion, but I want you to do something for me."
Even Lloyd never expected that. He did a background check on you. 
You’ve been trying to stay alive for 4 years. That's when he knew you're an extraordinary woman.  
One of his soldiers steps in, "I volunteer Miss Y/N."
Before you could see who it was, Lloyd had already shot him.
He smiled. "I could swim in that money, what can I do for you?"
"Marry me."
Lloyd's brain circuit stopped for a second. He laughed again, but he stopped when he saw you being serious.
"I didn't expect I would get proposed like this."
"You know I'm a rich heiress, and I will get my money next year. While waiting, I need someone to protect me and keep me alive. After that we will get a divorce and you will get other 2 billions. Right now, I could give you 1 billion. What do you think?"
There was a moment of silence. You could only hear the clock ticking. After he hears your offer, Lloyd turns his back and looks at the big French window. You couldn't see his expression. 
Suddenly he turns around and walks towards you. Lloyd got on his knees and grabbed your hand. "You got yourself a husband, Mrs. Hansen."
'Yeah, you caught a monster.'
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-One year later-
Lloyd arrived at your company and saw your bodyguard, Jimmy. Lloyd clicked his tongue. “Where’s my wife?” Jimmy pointed to the door behind him.
Lloyd pushed the door and saw you look busy signing some documents, not glancing at him. 
He told your secretary, who was already scared, "Get out shithead."
After your secretary left, he turned around and saw you had crossed your arms while looking at him. Ooh, so you’ve been waiting. 
He always loves your confidence. This trait must be one reason your grandfather chose you as the successor. 
Lloyd smashed a piece of paper on your table. "What the fuck is this?"
"It's a divorce paper."
"Yeah, and you didn't even think to discuss it with me first ?"
"It's been a year Lloyd, we made a deal. Remember?"
It made Lloyd silent. 
Of course, he remembered. 
Lloyd wishes he could stop the time.
After he agreed to marry you, his life became more exciting. 
Lloyd always dealt with different hitmen, politicians who wanted to steal your assets, assassins, and taking revenge on your relatives who wished you were dead. 
With the 1 billion, he could get all the resources and finish his job quickly and quietly. He got new clients every day. 
But most of all, Lloyd cherished the time spent with you. He loves every moment. You have a sharp mouth, don't take No for an answer; he likes it when you act like a boss to him. He wants to obey your order. 
And… 
The sex was also excellent. You weren't tempted at first. But who can't resist the charm of Lloyd Hansen? At first, it was just pretending to act like husband and wife. Give each other kisses on the cheeks, then move to the next step because of the alcohol effect that leads to sleeping together. 
When you fell asleep on his chest, his fingers brushed your hair. You gave him a soft kiss on his forehead; it made him like a teenager who was drunk in love. 
You were there every time he got hurt. You hired the best doctor to treat him. No one ever does that to him. He knew because you needed him to stay alive. But when he saw you holding his hand while he was bleeding, Lloyd knew you cared for him. 
He likes having you near him and can't bear letting you go. 
Lloyd realised his feelings when Jimmy came and gave him the brown envelope. 
Lloyd knew what was inside the paper, so he ignored it. But that damn envelope keeps coming after you get the inheritance and you have left the house that you two shared.  He felt like a used rag that you could just throw away. 
He can’t imagine seeing you being single, and another man will try to pursue you. 
"If you sign it today, the other 2 billion will be transferred to your account."
"I don't want to."
"6 billion then."
Lloyd's hand touches his left chest.
"What hurts me more is that you have the money and could finish this as soon as possible."
Then both of you will be strangers; NO, he didn't want that. 
"After you use my body, you throw me away? You hurt my feelings sunshine."
You walk away from your table to stand in front of him. 
"Lloyd, that's part of our deal. You protect me and I owe you one.” 
You couldn’t believe he’s the same man who wants to kill you, and now he’s begging you not to leave him.
“And I paid my debt with money that I promised."
He sighed and said, "I do love money."
Lloyd held your hand that still wore the wedding ring; he rubbed it gently. 
"But my dear wife, I love you more."
Your breath hitched when you heard his sudden confession. You were stunned to speak. 
Lloyd grabbed your chin and gave you a passionate kiss. "I won't let this marriage end with divorce." 
Lloyd kissed your forehead before he left you. Before he reached the door, he saw from the mirror your reflection. Your fingers touch your lips. At that moment, he knew you shared the same feelings. He will give you an offer that you can’t resist. 
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A/N : This Series has Completed.
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yoisami · 9 months
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˚₊‧୨୧˚ TASTES LIKE VANILLA !
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[૮₍ ˃ࡇ˂ ₎ა]: you and reo’s second anniversary is coming up, and he makes an attempt to bake you a cake.
tags. reo x gn!reader, 2050 wc, pure fluff, established relationship, mentions of food, reo and reader are aged up, use of profanities, not rly proofread bc i wanted to finish this to get it out of my drafts lol, forgive me if any grammatical mistakes, i love reo.
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there were a few reasons why mikage reo always bought gifts rather than making them.
firstly, he’s the literal heir of mikage corporation—the company is an insanely fierce competitor in the japanese and global markets, with sales that regularly skyrocket up and rarely ever drop. the mikage family had billions of yen sitting in the vault of their bank account; hence, reo never had to personally make something from scratch because he could afford anything with the millions that he carried, coming in the form of a black credit card that was wonderfully polished and only obtainable by the ultra rich.
secondly, reo was absolutely shit at cooking and activities alike. with the reputation that he was the physical embodiment of perfection, his peers in his extensive social network had established it in their heads that the nineteen-year-old excelled in everything—calculus, japanese literature, soccer, flirting—you name it, he’s good at it. on the contrary, he wasn't good at everything (obviously). it was on one regular afternoon (when reo was still in high school), all the students in hakuho discovered a flaw in mikage reo—his culinary skills was fantastically terrible. somehow, nagi’s plate of half-assed grilled mackerel looked relatively decent when it was placed next to reo’s fully burned tamagoyaki that could not be salvaged.
which was why, since two years ago, all the gifts you’ve received from your beloved boyfriend, were all strictly bought from high-end quality stores, because he knew you deserved the best of the best, and because he supposed that it made up for his inability to make you a meal like other boyfriends do.
as your second anniversary approached the corner, reo’s mind was busy browsing through the gallery of ideas he had for your date. a surprise week-long trip to milan? or would you prefer the romantic ambience of athens more?
he was stumped, and his social media page was, as expected, unhelpful. his feed was teeming with posts of couples surprising each other with the simplest things that had little merit, like a new bottle of perfume, and these things could never succeed as a candidate for reo’s anniversary gift for you. it was simply not enough for someone like you—if it was possible, reo would have liked to purchase every single constellation known to astronomers, just so he can remind you that his love for you was as expansive and immeasurable as the universe.
but two evenings ago, reo was left baffled when he saw you giggling at your phone, hands covering your mouth and everything.
“honey, are you okay?” he asked, eyebrows raised as he approached your figure, leaning in to see just what exactly elicited such a dramatic reaction from you. when you passed him your phone, reo gave you a confused look.
“her boyfriend baked her a lunchbox cake! see—it’s so cute, and you can obviously tell he put a lot of love and effort into this!” you exhaled, looking up at the ceiling with your hand on your heart. “doesn’t this just give you butterflies?”
“i mean, i guess it’s cute. but it’s such a little thing—why are you so giggly about it? there’s nothing special about it.”
if the boyfriend had baked a cake that held eight tiers, then reo would be impressed. except, this cake had a measly diameter of four inches (he thought there was no ‘wow’ factor in this).
you shook your head as you propped yourself up on this lounge. “it is special! it’s from her boyfriend, so she’d obviously be appreciative of it! plus, it’s not about how expensive or exquisite his gift is. the fact that he took time out of his day to bake his girlfriend a cake is really thoughtful and cute. if you were to bake a cake for me, i’d honestly be over the moon.”
reo’s ears perked up at your hypothetical scenario. “really? wouldn’t you prefer a vacation or something as a gift?”
a laugh slipped from your lips as you turned off your phone. “to be honest reo, if we stayed at home in our pyjamas and shared a tub of ice cream together, i’d be just as happy.”
and since that day, reo has been determined to bake you a cake as your anniversary gift. since he was still worried that a cake would be of too little value, he had completed his shopping for your other gifts a couple days ago—a new pair of diamond earrings that were ridiculously overpriced and a designer-branded coat because winter was approaching—plus a reservation made under his name for a dimly lit dinner at a luxurious restaurant that owned shelves of delicately tasting champagnes.
he had returned home particularly early today, making sure that it was at a time where you were still at work, busy wiping down tables and serving coffees and teas for six hours straight. reo dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen island, with their contents on the verge of spilling out because, once again, he had bought more than what was necessary. for a single cake that was not going to be larger than a regular dinner plate, he had bought two packs of flour, two dozens of eggs, three cartons of milk, four bottles of thickened cream, and a collection of other materials.
in all honesty, the reason he went overboard with the ingredients was because he was prepared to face some legitimate baking failure. if he couldn’t even cook rice without turning it into a gruel-like texture, then he definitely couldn’t bake a dainty cake that needed to be edible and pleasing to the eye.
reo, as the son of a japanese billionaire who could obtain anything with the mere reach of his fingertips, would have never thought that he would be standing behind the kitchen counter in you and his shared home, tilting his head at an online recipe for a vanilla sponge cake that was to be made for his dearest, you.
as reo tied his hair up, he scanned through the recipe, smiling at how easy this seemed.
this could work, he thought as he grabbed out the ingredients. with a large bowl placed atop the scales, reo ripped open the packet of flour, pouring the appropriate amount over the sieve before he set it aside. he then added the remaining dry ingredients (baking powder, baking soda, and salt) into the bowl before stepping back, smiling at how smoothly things were going.
“[name]’s gonna love this,” reo hummed in delight, with a smirk that could cost a million yen. “i’m the best boyfriend.”
and as he continued to diligently follow the steps outlined on the website, his excitement was growing taller and taller by the moment. ideally, he hoped to present you with a cake that was perfect to the point where no other cake could compete with his. but reo was an ambitious man—he was too hopeful with this.
‘fuck’ was the first thing that came out of his mouth when reo knocked over the contents of his bowl. he frowned at the flour particles that flew into the air, and reo let out an exasperated sigh at the spill. it didn’t take him long to recover from the minor annoyance he felt as he wiped down the counter with a wet cloth, and swept away the remaining flour that was on the floor.
this was bound to take him a while.
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three hours have passed since he commenced his baking debut, and the disappointment was blatantly expressed in reo’s facial expression.
on the kitchen counter of your apartment were four deformed sponge cakes that were either dry and burned, or somewhat undercooked. even with four cakes, neither of them was fit to be the cake that was supposed to be the ultimate gift that exudes nothing but delight from you, given your reaction towards the boyfriend’s cake in the video he watched.
you were going to return soon, and reo’s in trouble.
there was no humanly possible way that he could whip up a cake within fifteen minutes, let alone an hour.
after a single glance at the time that passed way too quickly, reo reached for his phone in his pocket. scrolling through his lengthy list of contacts, he hastily clicked on his attendant’s caller id. the pace of his heartbeat picked up, and reo’s impatience was conveyed through the tapping of his foot as he waited for ba-ya to pick up.
after what seemed like minutes (it was only eight seconds), reo was greeted by the familiar voice of his attendant. “young master reo? how may i help you?”
“ba-ya! i need you to run to the bakery and get a cake for me. preferably a smaller one, please—and i need it in a couple minutes,” reo instructed, a sigh escaping from his lips as he sat down on one of the high chairs. glancing over at his failed cakes, he grimaced. “it can be any flavour. just... make sure it looks nice.”
“of course, young master reo. i’ll bring it to your apartment within a couple minutes.” with that, the line was cut, and the apartment was silent again.
pulling the hair tie out of his hair, reo noticed that his apartment now had a distinctive scent of burnt cake. even if he were to hide the evidence of his fruitless attempts at baking a cake now, the odour was enough to let you know that in the past few hours, your boyfriend was caught up in some baking disaster.
and reo figured that you would probably get mad at how he’s made the whole apartment smell like a vanilla cake that was unfortunately burnt (literally).
ambling to turn on the ventilators in the kitchen, reo froze at the unwanted sound of your house keys jingling. at this moment, he was unable to move—it was almost like the soles of his shoes were glued to the floorboards. at this moment, as he watched the doorknob twist to the right, reo forfeited.
“reo? i'm ho— oh my god...”
the sound of your footsteps patted closer as a part of your cardigan peered from the wall. “why does it smell burnt here?”
innocently blinking at you, reo watched you enter the kitchen as he winced at your expression that clearly said ‘what the fuck happened in here?’. he quickly plastered a wide smile on his face. “baby! well, aren’t you early today?”
“reo, what happened—”
once your gaze averted to the counter, reo grabbed your hand. he carefully studied your face, expecting a scolding from you, but was pleasantly surprised when a smile broke from your lips. “w-wait, you’re smiling?”
soon after, you let out a string of laughter as you pulled your confused boyfriend into a soft embrace. “b-babe—”
“did you try to bake, reo?”
“i mean... yeah. it just failed horribly, though.”
your hands cupped reo's face as your grin widened. “i can tell. why else would we have four burned cakes on our kitchen counter?”
sheepishly rubbing his neck, reo nodded. “the other day, you said you’d be over the moon if i baked you a cake, so i tried. but as you can tell, i’m shit at this.”
you gently guided reo into your arms again as your giggles returned. “yeah, i agree. you are pretty bad at this.”
reo pulled away as he pouted. “sorry. and it was supposed to be one of my presents to you for our anniversary.”
“my love... don't be sorry! honestly, right now, i’m over the moon. the fact that you wanted to make my day by baking me a cake is a very sweet gesture, and i’m flattered.”
reo’s hands landed on your sides as you spoke. “these cakes show your hard work, and even if you weren’t successful, you still achieved your goal—i’m really happy right now. so thank you, reo.”
with a sweet kiss on his cheek, reo relished in your touch. “you’re welcome, my love. i’m glad that you’re happy.”
“great! now clean the kitchen.”
“what?”
“just kidding! i’ll clean with you.”
as the two of you wiped down the spills and crumbs on the kitchen counters, reo recounted his entire baking journey to you, forgetting that a new cake was on its way to your apartment.
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© yoisami 2023. plagiarism, translation and distribution of my works outside of tumblr is not permitted.
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matan4il · 6 months
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Daily update post:
A 70 years old Israeli farmer has been killed by Hezbollah rockets fired from Lebaon at Israel. May his memory be a blessing.
The death toll of the IDF ground operation in Gaza is now at 87.
Following the US congress discussion on antisemitism, where the presidents of prestigious universities couldn't clearly define calls to genocide the Jews as bullying and harassment, an Israeli professor at Standford, Jonathan Levav, who has lived there for years, and who said he's raising his two kids as typical American teenagers, was interviewed by his journalist friend in Israel. He talked about the fact that since Oct 7, he has felt antisemitism in the US and on his college campus in a way he never has before. "I would rather be in Israel right now," said the professor. "Really!?" asked his journalist friend, his voice making it clear that he's completely astonished. After all, our lives are currently under threat from several fronts. The professor reaffirmed the sentiment. "It's better to be hit by rockets in the face, than by knives in the back."
Here's another reminder that "Free Gaza from Hamas" isn't just a slogan, we're actually listening to people in Gaza who are pleading for a better life, and to even have a future:
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And while some Gazans suffer immeasurably under Hamas, this terrorist organization's leaders and those affiliated with them live like kings. Better than most Israelis, in fact. The IDF revealed receipts for purchases made by Hamas people of luxury items, including jewelry. A single receipt was sometimes for a sum of money equivalent to two years worth of work on Gaza's average salary. Among the receipts found, were ones for purchases made by the son of Hamas's leader, Ismail Hanyieh. While Gazans suffer the consequences of Hamas' massacre of innocent civilians in Israel, Hanyieh is living in a luxury hotel in Qatar. Hanyieh's personal wealth is estimated to be 4 billion dollars, roughly 4 times greater than Taylor Swift's (Google says she has a net worth of 1.1 billion dollars).
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Dozens of men in Gaza turned themselves over to the IDF today, they were arrested, not killed, a reminder that all Hamas needs to do for everyone to live is surrender.
The following infographic is a bit outdated (from roughly 3 weeks ago, I think), but it shows how much more attention the dead in Gaza get, than the dead anywhere else in the world, in conflicts far bloodier. Even more than in the conflict between Russia and Ukraine. So what stands out about this, what makes everyone pay more attention to dead Gazan civilians than to dead Ukrainian civilians? My personal guess is that it's not the Gazans themselves. When Palestinians are killed by other Arabs in Lebanon, Syria or Jordan, no one pays attention to them. When Palestinians are killed by their own leadership, whether Hamas or the Palestinian Authority, no one talks about it. What changes suddenly, when Israel is a part of the picture? My guess is that it's the fact that then, it can be used to attack the Jewish state, excuse the massacre of Jews, and inspire attacks against Jewish people all over the world. Even on the campuses of the most prestigious US universities.
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Why do I bring this up now?
The UN secretary general had been silent on the rape of Israeli women for almost two months following the Hamas massacre, had barely talked about Hamas' war crimes, had failed to talk about Hamas' use of Palestinians as human shields, and his workers had collaborated with Hamas for years, in turning a blind eye to Hamas' use of UN schools and hospitals to attack Israelis from, as well as since the Oct 7 massacre, in holding an Israeli kid hostage without providing him with enough food.
This man is now invoking article 99 of the UN charter.
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This article allows him to call a special session of the UN security council, based on his concern for world peace.
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He did not use this article during any other conflict, no matter how bloody. Not during his years in office while the civil war in Syria continues to rage for over a decade, with hundreds of thousands killed, and millions displaced. He did not invoke it during the war between Russia and Ukraine, which has claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people on both sides in less than two years.
Or let's put aside at the number of victims, and look at the possible risk to world peace.
The global power that is Russia is in the middle of a war, with all the allies it has, and the places where it exerts its influence, such as Syria, and all the countries that are looking at Russia, waiting to see what they can learn from the war's results, and that doesn't make the UN secretary general concerned enough for world peace to call a special session! I'm not even going to talk about the geopolitical results of the war in Syria, which was a training ground for Islamists from other countries as well (for example, we know Hezbollah's terrorists returned from the war in Syria with more military experience than anything they got before). But that wasn't concerning enough!
There's so much that was said over the years about the UN's anti-Israel bias, but it feels like this one really takes the cake.
Once again, the only conflict involving the one Jewish state is also the only one getting disproportionate attention, which essentially (please excuse my language, but I am angry) fucks over every other victim of every other conflict. Never forget that antisemitism doesn't just hurt Jews, there are non-Jews who pay the price for it as well.
On the first night of Hanukkah, there will be 138 hanukkiot (Hanukkah menorahs) lit at the Western Wall, the same number of the hostages who are still being held in Gaza. (this is a small reminder that Hanukkah is a Zionist holiday)
This is 25 years old Gal Meir Eizenkott.
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It was published just minutes ago that he was killed in the fighting in Gaza. Gal is the son of Gadi Eizenkott, who is currently an Israeli minister, and the former IDF Chief of Staff. NOBODY in Israel is sending the soldiers off to fight without a care in the world. Pictured below is Gal with his dad. May his memory be a blessing.
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These are 3 years old Emma and Yuli Kunyo, twins.
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They were held hostage by Hamas. We know now that at a certain point, Yuli was separated from the rest of her captured family, and kept alone. The two girls were released in the hostage deal, together with their 34 years old mom. Today, these girls were discharged from the hospital. They still don't have a home to return to.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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circlejourneyart · 8 months
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Maybe it'll turn out better this time: A love letter to all the joy and sorrow that this story has given me
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(Art by @blogofyolo)
Here's the first of two tracks I had on Land of Fans and Music 5 Act 2, which came out two days ago! I'm dedicating this one to @utopianparadoxist, who wrote the post that made this track appear in my mind in such blinding clarity I couldn't stop making until it was done.
I also have some extended commentary about this one--it's more important to me than I give it credit for.
When I finished reading Homestuck, I was...disappointed. That disappointment morphed gradually into disgust as I watched schisms violently open in the fandom following the Epilogues and Homestuck^2, and in the process I felt like I'd lost something.
I kept thinking that maybe, if I just read the comic again, it would turn out different. Maybe it'd be the story I'd once loved and it would fill me with breathless wonder again. Maybe it'd be better.
But earlier this year, a post by uP crossed my dash after he'd disappeared from my periphery for well over a year. He was outlining his plans surrounding Pumpkin Path, a story he's writing that runs adjacent to the Epilogues and (eventually though not yet?) gives these characters the futures they've earned.
And I realised...the way I'd been thinking about it, that's not how it works, y'know? It's not the story that has changed: it's my heart, my relationship with it. And the best thing I could do was take what this once-beloved story gave me and make something new with it. And that's what many people have done in the wake of Homestuck's end: we've all gone off and made new stories, for which this long-beloved comic was an undeniable progenitor.
It reminded me of a certain recurring motif in the comic itself. Every time the universe resulted in a corrupt or barren session, the players...well, they rebooted it. They left the old universe behind, and started a new one, billions of years all over again just to see where it would go this time.
There was no use in searching for the story that used to be, because it was me that had changed.
You may as well leave that old universe behind and start a new one from scratch.
This is the idea that seeded the above track, and it caught me off guard, because it was the first Homestuck music I had made in more than two years--after I thought I'd sworn it off for good. And then, two days later, Maybe it'll turn out better this time was done. (Two days is, by the way, a very short time for a track to emerge.) It was a small, silly, wonderful little thing, a sapling in the ashes, that proved to me that things could change.
But beyond my track, the entirety of LOFAM5A2 feels especially so. It's a startling breath of fresh air that emerged from so much genuine joy and excitement. I'm happy I got to contribute even just a little work to it and I really, really hope that the fandom sees it for all that went into it. An UMSPAF manager once said that my music always sounds hopeful, but it was never intentional until this one. Thank you to everyone who's made good art that has inspired others in turn, you create life with your own hands.
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reides · 3 months
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today is the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the dnd campaign that i am a member of...!! so you know that a long rambling post is 100% in order.
five years ago, i played dnd for the very first time. (the date on that post says the 16th but that's because we played for like a billion hours and it went past midnight. because of course it did.) i remember being so, so nervous about it bc i seriously knew next to nothing about dnd. i had never watched any tabletop shows or anything and i was pretty much totally new to improv. i had no idea what a d20 was. i wish i was kidding. i truly just dived right in there. (fitting, i guess, since the character i play is a triton... LMFAO).
i'm so glad that decided to try it out regardless bc it has paid off in ways that i can't even begin to express fully... this campaign has accompanied me through so many life events - both the good and the bad - and i cherish each and every one of our Merry Band of Misfits' adventures. even when shit hit the fan and encounters got tense or chaotic in some form, it ended up making for some absolutely wonderful memories. i'm so glad that that reides - my lil blue fish lad!!! - is a member of the champions valoris.
reides is a character who is extremely near & dear to my heart and he has really awakened a creative side of me during these past five years. i always strive to be a player who can live up to him and do his character the justice that it deserves. even 'beyond' the campaign, i have so much fun writing stuff related to him, making crafts related to him, coming up with art ideas for him and getting comms of him... simply rotating him in my mind. you know how it is. really, i think it's impossible to sum up what reides means to me because he's just... REIDES!!! (also, peep the original token i had for him vs his current one... so cute. just so cute.) i seriously love all of the stuff that everyone else at the table makes for their own characters, too! playing pretend with your friends is fr one of the most healing experiences ever; we all gently feed off each other's creativity in such a lovely way. the passion we all have for our respective characters and the overall setting of the campaign is infectuous, and that passion - coupled with a whole lot of hard (yet fun!!!) work - has made for a story that is nothing short of legendary.
so i just wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and say that i am honored to share a table with these incredibly creative individuals who have saved me in so many ways!!! big shoutouts to my fellow player, @mintflavoredwindows, who plays kilwin, the EXTREMELY blessed (teehee cleric joke) blond lad standing next to reides in that little chibi line-up of our characters (and who also takes the time to write AMAZING!!!!!! session synopses which all of us read time and time again; they are fr a lifesaver not to mention an immortalization of everything we've been through), our dungeon master of legend, @killdragons, who puts a TON of effort into the campaign setting as a whole and was the person who offered me a position in the campaign to begin with, @brewswain who has accompanied us on tons of different arcs with his absolutely incredible array of characters AND @sangre who has guest starred with his lovely miré (AND WHO HAS SUPPORTED THE CAMPAIGN SOOO MUCH IN GENERAL i love talking abt alethustria with you bree)!!! nathan (who plays jorah) and cj (who plays ashara and played slumberjack during the first season of the campaign) aren't on tumblr dot com so i can't give their urls a little shout-out in this post, but i'm still going to restate that being able to share in this adventure with them - both in-character and out-of-character - has been fucking incredible. the adventurers formerly known as the pog champions are eternal. viva la champions valoris. etc etc etc.
i also want to thank everyone who's supported reides / the campaign as a whole on the sidelines, bc you guys are absolutely amazing. and i can't possibly post this without showing off our lovely campaign wiki. bc it's iconic.
thanks everyone :') so excited for future adventures!!!
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locusfandomtime · 6 months
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Rating each hermit’s likelihood of being a furry
scar keeps getting furry allegations so i thought i’d make this post
Joe Hills - 7/10 he doesn’t really consider himself part of the community but he has a sparkledog sona and dresses up in his homemade diy fursuit sometimes. he respects furries deeply and does not tolerate hate towards them
Xisuma - 8/10 totally a furry he changes his skin all the time to dress up as the latest minecraft mob. he already has a “cringe” oc (evil x). he doesn’t even know what a furry is i think but he probably owns a fursuit anyway because he thinks its neat
Hypno - 3/10 he’d say no but give him cat ears to match with max and he’ll be wearing them every stream from now on
Keralis - 2/10 pretends to not know what a furry is but he does. he does.
Mumbo - 1/10 logically he would know of furries due to his young age and activeness online but i don’t believe he does, he has never heard of a furry and never will
Cleo - 6/10 with enough encouragement she’d wear a fursuit. maybe if joe made one for them. she’s got a vtuber avatar so this is just next in the pipeline i think
Jevin - 3/10 he isn’t one but he does have a non-human character which technically qualifies him as one. instead of a fursuit i think he’d have to coat himself in jelly or something
False - 3/10 she already dresses up as a banana on stream how far away is dressing up as an anthropomorphic animal you must ask yourself. plants and animals had their last common ancestor 1.6 billion years ago, keep this in mind
Tango - 7/10 his fursona is an evil ravager named “skadoodler evil the third” and mrs tango has a matching fursona and they do that furry couple thing of commissioning art of their ocs kissing
xB - 4/10 not one but I don’t think he’d be opposed to the idea of being a furry. i think ferks could be a furry
Impulse - 4/10 i was gonna say no but then i remembered the imp + skizz cat fursona thumbnail
Etho - 3/10 he isn’t a furry but he is a weeb. maybe he’d wear like a fox tail or something
Doc - 9/10 he has an oc which is half creeper half robot half goat and has butterfly wings and is an evil scientist. this guy knows cringe is dead and is living his life playing as his middle aged man Mary Sue fursona
Ren - 10/10 “ren the DOG” 🤨? this is confirmed his minecraft skin has fucking dog ears
Wels - 5/10 he is not a furry but i like to think he’s a LARPer irl and has a knightsona so he gets an honourable mention.
Iskall - 2/10 i could see him wearing cat ears, only as a joke though
Cub - 7/10 “cub”? “wolf pack”? furry cub just makes sense and he’d be an epic furry. the world isn’t ready for furry cub
Scar - 9/10 the other hermits call him a furry for a reason. his fursona is anthro jelly i guess. there are so many disney movies revolving around anthropomorphic animals this is natural
Beef - 3/10 he never truly becomes a furry but at night he daydreams about what his cool llama fursona would look like. he peaks a little at furry art but is never brave enough to venture further. in another lifetime maybe…
Bdubs - 8/10 he seems disproportionally offended at allegations he’s a furry and is incredibly obsessed with horses. furry with internalised furry hate i think
Stress - 2/10 i think she’d find the idea of furries cute and funny but wouldn’t be one
Zedaph - 9/10 you’d see him rocking up to furcon. his fursona would be a weirdass sheep worm hybrid
Grian - 4/10 i can see it. despite fan interpretation, i don’t think he’d be a parrot though i think he’d be a cat tbh
Gem - 7/10 she would have the cutest most cottagecore deer fursona of all time and it would have a beautiful design and outfit and bi flag. she’d get a vtuber model and a custom fursuit and art made. it is insane to me that this hasn’t happened yet
Pearl - 5/10 she isn’t but she does seem like the kind of woman who was obsessed with wolves at the age of 12 and has never outgrown that. also double life pearl deserves to be a beautiful silver wolf
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milkpumpkin96 · 7 days
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The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero Review
Part I: The Teal Mask
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I have a lot to say about Pokémon Scarlet & Violet as a whole . . . but damn, this game is ginormous. I have recently completed "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC in its entirety, but since it is absolutely stuffed with new content, I am going to divide up my review.
It is quite clear that Gen IX has . . . its flaws. But nonetheless, I adored this DLC like you cannot imagine (graphical concerns aside).
Pokémon has always been a huge part of my life and I am eager to talk about it. I think that the DLC could have been cheaper to purchase, but it is definitely worth it for Pokémon fans.
I know I am late to the party because "The Teal Mask" came out like half a year ago, but oh well!
[ MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING ]
OVERALL SCORE: 7/10
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For the most part, I went into the DLC blind. I did not view posts or trailers or anything about it beforehand. As such, I was in for a nice surprise!
Overall, "The Teal Mask" featured definite improvements from the base game. I consider myself lucky in that I never experienced the hoards of bizarre or game-breaking glitches that other players dealt with in Pokémon Scarlet & Violet. The DLC had some slight upgrades in this regard. Slight.
That being said, the fact that performance issues remain present only highlights the indolence of Game Freak. Since, on the other hand, Nintendo has Tears of the Kingdom and Pikmin 4 pushing the Nintendo Switch's capabilities to the max and can run fine and look stunning in its own right.
Otherwise, the soundtrack, the storyline, the characters, and the aesthetic of the DLC are phenomenal and feature some of my favorite elements compared to the main game. Also, "The Teal Mask" certainly offered quite a fresh challenge (at least for casual players).
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GAMEPLAY: 6/10
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As stated, the biggest disappointment with the DLC is its failure to properly fine-tune the performance issues. Cutscenes still lag; and holy hell, the cutscene of the MC and Carmine gazing at the Crystal Pool is egregiously choppy. The game tried sooo hard to feature the sparkling beauty of the pool but to no avail. It seems that this severe lag happened to everyone, which made the already underwhelming Milotic jump scare even more underwhelming.
The game does not look awful, but still pretty bad. Game Freak totally is not a billion-dollar franchise capable of more, right?
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Players still have instances of sudden FPS drops, especially when Koraidon/Miraidon tries to run and jump (this is most apparent during the Ogre Oustin' minigame).
The smallness of the map will be this DLC's savior, which I will discuss under my "setting" review category. But, in regards to the graphics, I think if the map were any larger, "The Teal Mask" and its areas would be sooo sluggish and lackluster compared to many places in the base game. This is due to the lack of NPC density and really anything going on outside of the three major locations of Kitakami.
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I still believe that Pokémon has its own charm though. At the very least, the land of Kitakami is enticing and pretty.
I did not experience any glitches in "The Teal Mask." The performance ran smoother on my own copy compared to other players, because I have heard the other people had more prominent performance errors in their DLC.
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Moving on, I will say that the difficult scaling of the DLC surprised me in a good way. This is especially true for casual players like myself!
The game is not hard, but it is not easy either. If you choose to begin part one of the DLC after beating the base game and post-game, the Pokémon in "The Teal Mask" are between levels 60s-70s. This shocked me as being a fairly difficult starting point (especially since this is only part one of the DLC, and it is kind of its own game).
I am a fully casual player. Say what you will, but by the time I completed the post-game of Pokémon Scarlet, my highest level Pokémon (my Skeledirge) was about level 71. Most of my main party were between levels 50-70, so the DLC being at this level was amazing for me. A perfect blend of enjoyment and challenge.
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Even for competitive players and heedless grinders, there is still some difficulty to be had. This is particularly the case with the optional ogre clan members you can battle--which their Pokémon are level 75--and also even some battles against Kieran can come as a surprise. If your team is all maxed at level 100 . . . then of course you can blast your way through.
Personally, I lost to several ogre clan members, and nearly to Kieran as well.
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Some other people might want to start from scratch and foster a brand new team in the land of Kitakami. I actually recommend doing so if you want to experiment with the new entries in the Pokedex and have a nice and fun challenge.
If you start the DLC before you finish the main game (which is possible), "The Teal Mask" will try to scale down to your own level.
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Aside from battling, there are other extra features players can engage with. At the "Festival of Masks," you can try a minigame called "Ogre Oustin,'" in which your MC rides on Koraidon/Miraidon and attempts to pop ogre-themed balloons and retrieve berries of certain colors (red, grey, green, and blue). These colorations match the masks held by Ogerpon, hence the name. Since the inhabitants of Kitakami initially view Ogerpon as unfavorable, the point of the minigame is to mimic hunting down the ogre to avenge The Loyal Three.
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This minigame starts off fairly easy at first: run around and pop like four blue balloons and three green ones. Players must play "Ogre-Oustin'" at least one time due to story reasons, and stick it to Carmine who's ego is more inflated than the balloons themselves.
As you progress through the levels, it becomes alarmingly difficult. You go from popping 10 balloons in total to around 60 or 70! There are also Skwovets and Munchlaxes actively trying to steal your berries. Players can try this minigame alone or play online or local multiplayer. Trust me . . . playing the game with others is superior. I cannot get through the harder levels solo, like at all.
This minigame is weird but kind of fun. I feel a blend of anger and joy when I play . . . "Ogre Oustin'" will incite peoples' competitive streaks.
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Another side option players can do is engage with the character named Perrin, who . . . you know . . . is 100% a descendant from Hisui's famous Adaman.
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She will not regard you until you have completed 150 Kitakami Pokedex entries in full. Once you begin Perrin's side mission, she asks you to assist her with capturing a photo of the "blood moon beast," who is rumored to be lurking in the woods of Kitakami. Throughout this quest, players camp with Perrin and take various photos of Pokémon at night. Perrin's strange camera device has to filter out all non-"blood moon beast" species in order to autonomously detect the location of the beast.
So, I mean, if you like Pokémon Snap or just enjoy using Scarlet & Violet's camera function, then wahoo! However, I wish all the new camera functions were available at this point in the game, as they are not accessible until part two of the DLC.
You ultimately get to battle and capture the "blood moon beast" (which is a special coloration of Ursaluna), and Perrin takes a horrifically blurry photo of it. This side quest is silly and fun, but ultimately just kind of meh. Perrin herself and Ursaluna are cool, though!
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A third side quest you can engage in is with the characters Billy and O'Nare, who are adorning sparkly outfits and can be found standing on the edges of Kitakami's apple orchard. The two are members of "The Glitterati" and are very flamboyantly wealthy.
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Their side quest is kind of tedious and annoying in my opinion. After each conversation with these guys, they travel vehemently to random landmarks either in Kitakami itself or back in Paldea. It is a fetch quest where you find the same duo over and over rather than an object. The hints to their whereabouts are kind of vague, which is made worse because Paldea's map can be redundant. Billy and O'Nare are looking for a famous waterfall? There are so many damn waterfalls in Paldea!
After each find, they give you daffy advice and some items. Occasionally players must battle O'Nare, but all she has is a rather weak Persian and eventually an Arbolivia.
Once the side quest is completed, players will have enough valuable items to bulk sell for a hefty amount of money. Players should sell these items and get the 10-ish grand. If you return back to Kitakami and talk to the caretaker, he will be asking for donations to repair the disassembled statues of The Loyal Three in Loyalty Plaza. Sure, the caretaker only wants to repair them for tourism purposes, and sure, the caretaker is kind of a greedy asshole, but if you donate 100,000 to the cause, you will receive a flashy jinbei to wear!
There is a fandom debate on the identities of Billy and O'Nare, in which some fans suspect that these two may be Nemona's parents. After all, O'Nare specifically resembles Nemona in the face, and players know that Nemona grew up quite lavishly. Her parents are never home and Nemona had been primarily taken care of by housekeepers . . . and Billy and O'Nare are always recklessly on the go . . . hmmm.
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MUSIC: 8/10
Pokémon has never blown my mind with its soundtrack, but damn, these games have some bangers!
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The music in "The Teal Mask" is very fitting, giving off a warm, seasonal vibe and incorporates the sounds present in traditional Japanese folk music. Overall, the DLC's soundtrack contains some of my favorite works in all of Pokémon Scarlet & Violet, and I am very happy that Game Freak decided to change up the wild battle and trainer battle themes to distinguish it from the base game.
Also, wow, I am still very happy that Toby Fox contributed to the soundtracks of "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC!
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The music is funky, upbeat, and irresistibly hard not to dance to. It pairs splendidly well with the visual setting, and I feel as if I am roaming rural Japan.
I am always a fan of battle themes. So, some of my favorite tracks include:
Battle! Vs Carmine
Final Battle! Vs Kieran
Battle! Vs Okidogi, Munkidori, & Fezandipiti
Battle! Vs Ogrepon
Carmine's battle theme is bouncy and light-hearted, reflecting her humorously volatile nature yet her slow-growing friendliness towards the MC. The battle theme against The Loyal Three starts off sounding intimidating but then becomes super funky and whimsical. This gives it a de-escalating feel, as in that these Pokémon are actually not that much of a threat after all.
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Ogerpon's theme is awesome! It is super folky and happy-sounding, and it made the final battle feel and sound emotionally significant in a positive way. And damn, I love Kieran's battle music, particularly the final version. His theme begins as light-hearted as Carmine's but becomes more intense the worse Kieran's mental state becomes. The final battle music sounds desperate. It sounds sad. It sounds vengeful. It sounds passionate. All of these strange, edgy, teenage hormones unleashed into an awesome tune.
Evidently I love battle music, but there are several other tracks I adore as well:
Mossui Town
Kitakami Hall
Get Stronger
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STORY: 7/10
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I do genuinely believe that Generation IX is pretty top-tier when it comes to writing, next to Gen V and VI. At least when it comes to mainline Pokémon game standards.
I had a great time playing through the story and was invested in each line of dialogue. The story itself is about 8 hours, and it offers a pleasing mix of silliness and emotional investment. The star of the show was the friendship/rivalry between the player and Kieran, which the latter stumbled down a childish version of the joker pipeline.
As many people say, Scarlet & Violet's companion characters are some of the best. Nemona, Arven, and Penny are packed with personality, and especially when it comes to their post-game interactions, their similarities and differences bounce off of each other well. Including the MC, they all are outcasted children (and have parental issues) to varying degrees, united by a love for Pokémon and a desire for friendship.
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Then, we have the new sibling duo from Kitakami: Kieran and Carmine, who also harbor [potentially] parental issues, and host of other problems.
Carmine and Kieran are natives of Kitakami, and strangely it seems there are not too many other NPCs of their age around. They live with their grandparents Hideko and Yukito in a pale yellow home, and like other locals, are majorly disconnected from a technological standpoint. Carmine has a phone, but Kieran does not, and the only other devices (a television and a game system) are located in the community center for tourists to stay at. Kieran and Carmine are battle maniacs; apparently, according to the "caretaker" of Kitakami, the two tend to cause some disturbances around the place. I am not quite sure if he is referring to their youthful boisterousness, craving for battle, or simply their short tempers (especially Carmine).
But, I was not bothered by them in the least. I was quite entertained.
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The story begins when the MC--Julianna or Florian--alongside some other random Uva/Naranja students are "randomly" selected by Professor Jacq to take a school trip to the little local town of Kitakami. The reasoning for this seemingly obscure location is that the trip is hosted by an affiliate sister school, Blueberry Academy. Blueberry is a new Unovan school that aims to strengthen its bonds with Uva/Naranja.
Kitakami is a small village located near the Kanto and Johto regions. Of course, the MC has no choice but to agree to go on the trip!
The group boards an airplane and takes a long bus ride, eventually making it to Kitakami. The class is led by Ms. Briar, a faculty member of Blueberry: Ms. Briar states that she is a descendant of Heath, the author of the Scarlet/Violet Book. In the uncensored book she possesses, Heath vaguely describes a legendary creature named Terapagos that has some sort of connection to the terastal phenomenon. She is on the hunt for this mysterious creature and wants to ultimately gain access to Area Zero in Paldea (which apparently she has been denied many times). The primary reason why Ms. Briar is hosting this trip is because the Crystal Pool located in Kitakami possesses terastal crystals akin to Area Zero. This could help with her research.
Anyways, the kids leave the bus and one of the students becomes car sick, so Briar sends the MC to Mossui Town, the one and only little village in the area, to get some help. The player then encounters Carmine and Kieran, two locals awaiting the arrival of the Paldean students, and Carmine immediately becomes hostile and xenophobic towards you. She challenges you to your first battle while Kieran quietly watches. They are eventually shooed off by the "caretaker," who properly greets you.
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You all are cared for and fed and housed in the community center, and when players wake up the next day, the "school" part of the trip begins. You all gather outside of the community center and Briar, Carmine, and Kieran officially introduce themselves. Carmine and Kieran, while born in Kitakami, actually attend Blueberry Academy (which is in the Unova region), I suppose because they are notable for their battling skills. Blueberry is known to specialize teaching the art of Pokémon battling.
As a part of a school task, the "caretaker" instructs each student to pair up and visit three signboards across Kitakami that detail its history . . . or rather historically-based folktales. Briar encourages intermingling between the Uva/Naranja kids and the Blueberry kids. The MC talks to the Kitakami siblings and Carmine asserts that her little brother has been ogling at you, much to Kieran's embarrassment. She then encourages a battle between you two, which is conducted. Depending on your play style, this fight can be kind of easy or surprisingly a struggle. The outcome of the battle regardless makes Kieran even more fascinated with Julianna/Florian.
As such, the MC ends up pairing with Kieran. Kieran is very timid so he kind of avoids actually walking with you to the signboards. First, players traverse through the apple orchards and make it to Loyalty Plaza, where the first signboard talks about the tale of The Loyal Three sacrificing their lives to protect Kitakami from the monstrous ogre. There are statues of these honored Pokémon in the plaza; and Kieran opens up a bit and claims that he finds the ogre actually pretty cool and powerful. After all, the ogre, who is a grass type, murdered three Pokémon with a type advantage. Kieran mentions that he used to go to the ogre's hiding spot as a kid at night and would be yelled at by the adult villagers.
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The MC and Kieran then head towards the Festival Hall where the second signboard is. This board continues to talk about the tale, and references the ogre's four masks: the cornerstone mask, the hearthflame mask, the wellspring mask, and the teal mask. Kieran opens up to the MC even more and talks about his fascination with the ogre, and how it doesn't care about what anyone else thinks, and it can hold its ground and is strong and willful. He then invites you to come check out the "Dreaded Den" on Oni Mountain, where the ogre is said to be. The MC agrees and travels there.
Here, Kieran and the MC battle again, because Kieran hopes a display of strength will draw out the ogre. It does not . . . to their knowledge. The two go inside the den and look around the cramped area. Sunset arrives, and then Kieran invites Florian/Julianna to attend the Festival of Masks with him that begins that night.
Later, you are given a green jinbei and attend the festival alongside Kieran and Carmine. You hang with Kieran for a bit until Carmine has a little blowup episode, and while you are off on your own, you see Ogerpon walking around alone. Thinking it to be a masked child at first, the MC approaches it. Then, Carmine finds you and calls out to you. The ogre runs away, accidentally dropping and chipping its teal mask. When Kieran catches up to you guys, you lie to him and say you saw nothing. Kieran thinks you and Carmine were talking about him behind his back.
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The next day, Yukito reveals to Carmine and the MC about the true story of the tale of Ogerpon and The Loyal Three. It turns out, the roles were reversed. Ogerpon has been defending itself from the three Pokémon and went on a rampage after finding all of its masks stolen and its original companion human presumably dead. The "Loyal" Three were greedy, murderous thieves all along.
Kieran overhears this conversation, after having been vehemently shooed away by Carmine. He becomes upset, especially since he is a superfan of the ogre, and his entire life he had believed Ogerpon to be the "good guy" where nobody else in Kitakami believed this to be true.
You go to the last signboard with Kieran, and the latter noticeably seems more tense and withdrawn than before. The MC battles Kieran, and Kieran loses, lamenting privately that he is too weak. The last signboard gets a little wild and says that if you encounter the ogre without a mask, it will steal your soul. Kieran asserts that there is no way that is true, and then begins talking about how his great great great great great grandfather was a mask maker (in which the mask maker is responsible for making Ogerpon's mask). The MC just says that's cool, and via body language, one can tell that Kieran is pissed by this because he subtly tried to incite the player to tell him the truth. Kieran then leaves.
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Yukito tells the player that he cannot fix up the mask without a terastal crystal, so the MC and Carmine head up to the Crystal Pool to retrieve one. They are met by Ms. Briar, and Carmine angrily questions why she is there because the Crystal Pool is considered a sacred space. Briar claims that she got permission from the "caretaker" and needs to look at the pool for research purposes.
The duo then tries to give Yukito the crystal, but the grandpa says that Kieran ran off with the teal mask. Carmine wonders how in the hell Kieran figured out the truth, so you two chase after him to Loyalty Plaza. Kieran is violently upset, challenges the MC to a battle, loses, and then edgily punches the statue of The Loyal Three while holding the teal mask. He begrudgingly returns the teal mask to you and runs away. Carmine wonders if he is becoming hormonal or something.
Then, suddenly, the statue of The Loyal Three explodes into a purple fume . . . and The Loyal Three are found standing on top of the wreckage, alive. It is theorized that Kieran may have accidentally revived those fools because he touched the monument holding the teal mask, which according to the signboards, is said to have revival/restorative properties. The three thieves run off and you follow them to the Festival Hall. There, the "caretaker" and other townspeople admit that they were fascinated with their return, and thus fed the Pokémon nutritional mochi (perhaps with herba mystical or something) and had returned their stolen masks to them. Carmine becomes outraged and dubs them The "Lousy" Three. She tells the MC to go rescue Ogerpon from their clutches while she quickly goes to retrieve the fixed teal mask from Yukito.
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The player finds Ogerpon surrounded and defenseless without its masks and fights Munkidori. Carmine and Kieran show up eventually, scaring the Pokémon away. Kieran apologizes to the player. He expresses that he wants to return the teal mask to Ogerpon himself. However, the ogre gets flustered around unfamiliar people and does not accept it. The MC then tries and Ogerpon happily receives the mask . . . much to Kieran's annoyance.
The three "friends" then develop a little mask retrieval squad, which they will seek out each of The Loyal Three, defeat them, and return each mask to Ogerpon. The ogre begins to follow the MC around, and eventually Kieran backs out of the task force, mysteriously saying that he has something else to do.
After Carmine and Florian/Julianna defeat the titan-ized Loyal Three, Kieran request them to return to Mossui with Ogerpon. Everyone feels reluctant, since the townspeople believe Ogerpon to be a violent gremlin, but Kieran assures them that it is going to be okay. The quartet returns to Mossui, and much to Carmine and the MC's surprise, the townsfolk welcome Ogerpon with sorrow and joy. They apologize to the ogre, expressing that they had misunderstood history, not even realizing that any of the tales were actually true in the first place. I guess it helps that the inaccurate story of Ogerpon is so many generations old, that the people of Kitakami lacked extreme emotional connections to it. The townsfolk just like to celebrate and wear masks.
Yukito says that Kieran shouted at everyone about the true story of The "Lousy Three," breaking out of his socially anxious character temporarily. Kieran had good intentions to help Ogerpon, but ultimately he avoided any chance to actually bond with her as she roamed around with Florian/Julianna.
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Carmine, Kieran, and the MC set off back to the "Dreaded Den" to return the ogre to her home. However, as Ogerpon approaches the den, she turns around and runs up to the player, expressing the desire to tag along with him/her. Ogerpon had been seeking a companion like she did so long ago, and I suppose the MC fit the bill. Kieran, at this point, undergoes a tantrum and tells that player that they should battle to see who gets Ogerpon. Carmine tells him that it is not his choice, and the ogre can make her own choices. Kieran does not give a shit (well, he kind of does, but he is having a mental breakdown), and the two of you battle. Kieran fights for his life but is no match against the MC's determination (and ability to terastalize). He falls to the ground, punches the soil, and dies on the inside.
Then, the MC fights Ogerpon, because he/she has to prove their strength to the ogre. Ultimately you succeed and proceed to catch Ogerpon in a pokeball. Carmine cheers, and Kieran brokenly tries to congratulate you, before he runs away crying.
The next day, another class meeting is held in front of the community center. Everyone is there except Kieran, who "does not feel well." Each pair had finished seeing all the signboards, and then Ms. Briar expressed that a sudden development occurred in Area Zero, and she must leave--which means taking Carmine and Kieran back with her. The kids wave them all goodbye, and Carmine tells everyone that she is super sorry about her initial xenophobia, and that she had so much fun with the MC and wishes to see him/her again in the future.
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The Blueberry goers then leave. Before "The Teal Mask" concludes, there is a brief scene of Kieran losing his shit in his bedroom. He is shaking his head, grabbing his hair, talking about a deep desire to grow stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. He creepily smiles, and then a "to be continued" screen appears.
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The story is full of positives for the most part. Though, I find it disappointing and strange that the other Paldean students are full-on nobodies. These kids do not even have proper names or anything remarkably unique about them. It just felt unusually random. I have heard complaints/questions wondering why the other students could have not just been characters we already know and love, like Arven and Nemona? Why could they not have tagged along? In fact, our Paldea friends are entirely absent from "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC (which is especially weird because Arven is so connected with the terastal case).
While this is kind of sad, it is actually very much understandable. "The Teal Mask" is Kieran's story if anything. The plot was high-key focused on the relationship between Kieran and you; a wicked plot progression as Kieran goes from a sweet, shy, timid child who is absolutely fascinated with the MC, to a jealous, egotistical, confused, edgy asshole who wants to destroy you.
This plot highlighted something that most Pokémon games fail to emphasize: you have it all. Kieran can try so hard and give everything he has, but will never be the main character. Florian/Julianna is the MC. Kieran is programmed, story-wise, into having to lose to you. Every time. Kieran's reactions to his failures are quite realistic--he's bitter, jealous, and upset with himself. It is not "oh ha ha you win AGAIN wow you are so cool!" Well, it began that way, up until the MC repeatedly batted him down.
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So, I think that having our character's old happy-go-lucky friends would very much get in the way of the development of this dynamic. Kieran and Carmine needed their time to shine. Plus, who knows how it works chronologically? You can activate the DLC almost at any point. So . . . what if the MC met Kieran before he met Penny or became friends with Arven?
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I appreciate the length of "The Teal Mask." It is about eight hours story-wise, but I invested significantly more than that doing everything. I thought the plot would end earlier . . . I did not expect Kieran's mental breakdown.
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The game is not too deep nor dramatic, but highly enjoyable. As mentioned, there are great fleshed-out characters like Carmine and Kieran, and then the story of Ogerpon herself is fascinating.
The folklore is based off of Momotarō, or "Peach Boy," a popular Japanese folktale. This allusion becomes more apparent with the mythical prologue story available after beating the entire DLC.
Ogerpon's tale has some dark elements to it. She killed The Loyal Three (and tried to kill Pecharunt) to avenge her deceased companion and get her masks back. I adore the way in which the story was animated too: in the game, Yukito talks about the true historical events and there are little wood-block-like clips that demonstrate these events. On YouTube, Pokémon uploaded an epic video about Pecharunt's story, and I find the animation to be super enticing with a storybook aesthetic.
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Having such intriguing folklore for the legendary Pokémon is such a huge plus. I also liked the toned-down plotline of "The Teal Mask":
No, the end of the world was not happening (yet). It was simply a story of some teenagers having drama and miscommunication . . . . but with flare. All the characters are actually interesting, and it is cool to see how a foreign, "city" boy/girl interacts with two emotionally volatile rural kids, one of which is obsessed with the "bad guy" of a folktale.
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SETTING: 7/10
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If you can look beyond the janky graphics, I find that the land of Kitakami to be quite pretty. To my knowledge, it may be based on a place of the same name in the Iwate prefecture of Japan. This is further evidenced by the way the townspeople speak, particularly Kieran. He harbors a bit of a Tōhoku dialect which is considered the "typical" rural Japanese accent.
And poor Kieran. In "The Indigo Disk" following the epilogue, Kieran can be found in the BB clubroom stating that he used to be embarrassed by the way he spoke. You can kind of tell that he attempted to ditch his dialect in part 2 of the DLC, but it would surface during his shy or geeky moments. I am not sure as to why Carmine's Tōhoku dialect is not very prominent.
---------- Some players might have wanted a larger DLC map, but I believe that Kitakami is a perfect size. It is actually kind of big, hosting only one town of Mossui and several other staple areas like Oni Mountain, Loyalty Plaza, and the Festival Hall. There are several other locations that players can travel to and catch or battle Pokémon and trainers there. This includes the Mossfell Confluence, Paradise Barren, and Wistful Fields, among others. Some of these places do have signboards that are a part of the main plot, and other areas--like the Timeless Woods--are where Perrin and the "blood moon beast" side quest occurs.
There are very few shops here: Peachy's, located in Mossui Town, sells pretty much anything you need as well as brand new glove and sock options. The stands at the Festival Hall allow players to purchase a variety of masks (e.g., Pikachu, Eevee, Ogerpon, and each of The Loyal Three) as well as food options, like candied apples.
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I say the size of the map is good because, for one, I think that an overly massive Pokémon DLC would be very time-consuming and overwhelming. Paldea is big enough as is. Secondly, as can be seen with the performance issues, I am not sure if the Nintendo Switch could handle that much more. The Crystal Pool, as small as it is, lags horrifically. Thirdly, which is probably one of the biggest critiques I have with then main game as well, is that too many areas are otherwise kind of . . . lifeless.
In the Paldea map, there is a surplus of areas of just nothing. The open world is novel at first, but there are a host of spots that lack NPC density and any remarkable geological or architectural standout points. Paldea is too open for its own good. Game Freak has yet to master this.
Lucky for Kitakami, it is just small enough so that the pockets of barrenness are not too noticeable. Sure, there is an unnecessary amount of mini cave entrances and completely pointless islets, but most of the significant locations are memorable enough. The lack of NPCs is not too bad either because Kitakami is supposed to be an incredibly small village. It helps that there are ogre clan members scattered throughout the map so you can find and challenge these lunatics.
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The Festival Hall would be my favorite location. Sure, it was kind of sparse with the vendors, but this is rural Kanto/Johto. The hall has its charm: the music, the colors, the twinkling night sky, and the masks adorned by all the villagers . . . it really appealed to me.
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My only other complaint is that players still cannot enter people's houses. I know it is culturally rude, but you were able to do so in older Pokémon games!
This was a major disappointment for Pokémon Scarlet & Violet as a whole; and another indicator that the open-world system was to big for Game Freak to handle. In the base game, you could enter the MC's own house as well as Nemona's (and kind of Arven's), but in the DLC you cannot go into Kieran and Carmine's home, even though Kieran invites you there!
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COMBAT: 8/10
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As mentioned, the difficulty of the game was a wonderful surprise in my humble opinion. The battle system is not any different from the main game of course. Players still conduct single battles, but alas in Kitakami, nobody is going to terastalize. That gimmick is absent in battling despite the presence of terastal crystals--in that case you as the player can still terastalize your Pokémon.
Though . . . how? Terastalization is majorly a Paldean thing, and despite the presence terastal crystals, only Ogerpon terastalizes. Why does some "land in the east" have the same phenomenon happening in theory?
The details are vague and unexplained. You would think these story elements could be solved in "The Indigo Disk." Here is a link that suggests some theories:
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You know, with Pokémon, each generation is going to have a gimmick that is abandoned. At least there is some degree of lore behind terastalization in Scarlet & Violet.
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The hardest battles of the DLC are the seven ogre clan members. The ogre clan leader, who is standing in front of the Festival Hall, will give you riddles and clues on their whereabouts. These trainers fight at level 75, and I found them to be quite challenging and satisfying to win.
Carmine's battles are easy, especially the first fight in which she sends out Poochyena. Seriously! Her Sinistcha (which is a new Pokémon introduced in "The Teal Mask") however can be a tough one with that "matcha gotcha" move. Though, I would say Carmine's Sinistcha works better as a support Pokémon during double battles.
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Kieran on the other hand . . . players may struggle with him, especially if you beginning the DLC with a fresh and new team or are at the same level as these trainers. The more you battle Kieran, the tougher he gets, especially in the final fight where Kieran goes psycho mode. Although, poor buddy cannot terastalize like you can.
I appreciate how the Kitakami siblings are not stagnant with their lineup, and despite the hefty amount of battles you have to do with them, the party and dynamics change every time. Kieran's Yanma, Nuzleaf, and Sentret all evolve, and he catches a Gliscor and Probopass eventually. His ace is his Dipplin (another new Pokémon), which looks cool and cute but fights mediocre. Kieran also attempts to use items in battle, like focus sashes and berries, in desperate attempts to beat the MC. So yes, Kieran is pulling out the strats, and has a degree of intelligent/predictive AI. Some might find this challenging in a positive way, or rather annoying.
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The battles with the DLC's new legendary Pokémon were pretty great. Not necessarily hard, but still fun.
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Battling against The Loyal Three for the first time demonstrates the consequences of the naive townsfolk nourishing them back to health with all of their best mochi. Munkidori, Okidogi, and Fezandipiti all become titan Pokémon that you and Carmine must face against (minus Kieran who abandoned the squad). Holy hell, these guys are huge! When I saw the titanic Munkidori for the first time, I wanted to cringe and laugh and cry. His big head made him appear rather funny-looking.
The purpose of the double battles against the titan Pokémon are perhaps there to give you a taste on what is to come in part two of the DLC (which takes place in Unova, where everyone engages in double battles only).
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The final battle against Ogerpon herself was a wonderful experience. However, she is shiny-locked (bummer) and has a 100% catch rate, so it eliminates some tediousness.
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Ogerpon will go through four stages of battle, and is the only Pokémon to terastalize in "The Teal Mask." Players fight all four masks, which changes Ogerpon's type from pure grass to grass and rock, fire, or water type. Ogerpon terastalizes all four times which showcases the immense power of Ogerpon, and how each mask themselves are the ones that terastalize (the ogre is just chilling behind it). This fight feels incredibly rewarding. The fight is also tough to get through with the changing types, combined with the overpowered cudgel move.
I am certain the most players sent out that friend ball to catch the ogre, right?
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I do not have many complaints when it comes to the combat, but I would have not minded an even greater challenge. I am sure that players with all level 100 Pokémon would agree!
The lag also made some of the battles (and the buildup to them) a bit more cringe. The Milotic fight . . . I don't even understand it.
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ENJOYMENT: 8/10
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In all, I had a wonderful time playing through "The Teal Mask." Scarlet & Violet has its ups and downs, but there is no denying that Kieran and Carmine are wonderfully complex and amusing characters, and that the writing and music are exemplary.
Part one of the DLC offers a nice challenge to even more competitive players, and I can appreciate the bonus introductions of new minigames, side quests, and even new Pokémon in the Kitakami dex. Is it worth over $30 (which includes "The Indigo Disk")? I am unsure about that . . . but you know, Pokémon fans do torture themselves.
The lack of an attempt to fix the FPS and other graphical issues is not excusable, however. I am not always too concerned about these topics, and I do not think that these issues fully detracted from the actual enjoyment of the game, but it is certainly embarrassing for Game Freak.
But yeah. So I guess what I'm trying to say is . . . I had fun!
TOTAL TIME SPENT: 20 hours (an estimate. I am slow af)
OVERALL SCORE: 7/10
PLATFORM USED: Nintendo Switch
DATE OF COMPLETION: April 2024
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Memories
Eddie Munson x F! Reader
Summary/Request: Cutesy Best Friends to Lovers @fuzzymelanie
Warnings: None? Not that cutesy??
A/N: This took me waaaaaay too long tbfh. Kinda proofread it but it’s 2am and this is my second attempt at posting it bc I don’t understand technology. I also don’t know how to get my spacing to stay. Might be a little rough around the edges? I don’t know how to write children tbh. Feedback is appreciated!! I love to hear what you guys have to say <3
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In every instance of your life, whether it be big or small, you could look back and there would be one constant. What was that constant? None other than Eddie Munson. You’d known Eddie almost as long as you’d been alive, an exaggeration, sure, but the statement held some truth. You met at the Hawkins Middle School talent show. Neither one of you even placed in the top three, first place going to the girl with the dance routine that made waves with the adults in the auditorium. Truthfully it wasn’t all that great, but the people love mediocrity. However, your paths didn’t actually cross until later that night after everyone went home. As luck would have it, both of your rides were running late.
You would’ve never in a billion years dreamt of approaching a boy like Eddie, let alone strike up a conversation. You were a loner, something your parents frowned upon but people just weren’t all that interesting. But Eddie.. Eddie was different, be it the way he talked or even the way he carried himself, he just had this certain spunk to him. A complete riot to be around, as you’d later find out. Him coming up to you got the ball rolling, a feat you’d never forget.
You were sitting on a chair left out in the hallway, swinging your legs back and forth since they couldn’t quite reach the ground yet. There were a few people still lingering, some being students and some being faculty members. It was years ago but you’d never forget the way he sauntered up to you and broke the silence all in one breath. “Y/N, right?” You barely got a nod in before he was talking again, “Your performance was pretty cool, not my first choice of song, but it was cool.” You couldn’t help but balk at him until you finally regained your composure, forcing the words to leave your mouth. “Oh, uh, thanks? You were pretty cool too.” You were unsure of what to do, should you say something else? Clearing your throat you spoke again. “What was it? Corrupted Coffin?” You had watched his act, but the name fell on deaf ears when it was announced. “Corroded Coffin,” he corrected. “Right, sorry.” You offered a sheepish smile, not really sure of what to say next. “Anyway, I’m Eddie.” As he spoke the words he stuck his thumb out and poked his chest. “The guys and I were talking and we thought it would be killer if you stopped by sometime and watched us play.” He gave a small shrug, “if you’re interested.” You’d later find out that he forgot the ‘itwouldbesototallycoolifyoujoinedthebandasourvocalist’ part. “I don’t know,” you trailed off, chewing the inside of your cheek. “That’s not really- I mean you guys are great and all, but that's not really my thing.” Technically it was a lie. Music was your thing, people were not. That didn’t stop Eddie, “one practice? You won’t regret it.” The side of his mouth turned up and he threw his hands up in a ‘Hey Whaddya Say?’ gesture. You were curious for sure, but how could you possibly say no when he was staring you down with those pretty brown eyes? That was the first time you couldn’t refuse Eddie, and as time would tell, it wouldn’t be the last.
Over the years there were many laughs and even more memories, some more memorable than others. One of your favorites had to have been the night before your 18th birthday, the year after you discovered you had feelings for your best friend.
It was late, later than it was supposed to be if you had a boy in your room, which as of 15 minutes ago, you did. For the past 15 minutes you’d been arguing with Eddie while perched on your bed, arms crossed watching him pace back and forth. “I am not sneaking out! And I most certainly am not stealing my fathers car.” Your voice was firm but your resolve was cracking minute by minute. “Think about the memories! This is valuable band bonding time.” He put emphasis on the valuable part, spinning to face you with an exasperated look and threw his hands up before letting them fall to his sides. You tried not to let your disappointment show at his words, band bonding. Right. Pull yourself together.
Would changing the subject help? Probably not but it was worth a shot. “Take your shoes off, that's wool you’re standing on.” High end carpet for high end taste, your mothers of course. You got an eye roll in response. “Don’t change the subject. How are we supposed to enjoy the night without our best girl? Come on, think about it.” You ignored the flutter in your chest. It was basically a sales pitch at this point. You looked at the clock on your nightstand, it had just turned to 9 O’clock. The band started at 11. He was running out of time, the puppy dog eyes would be coming out soon. “You’re just saying that because I’m the only one with a means of getting there,” you said flatly. You had to admit though, it was tempting. He scratched his head and walked closer, placing both of his hands on your shoulders. “Okay, okay. When have I ever steered you wrong?” That made you laugh, “There was that time whe-” “Let’s forget that, do you trust me?” There they were, those big brown eyes. Your face softened and you felt your shoulders slump. Your eyes trailed down to his lips, pausing before meeting his eyes again. Of course you trusted him, he was your best friend. Though sometimes you felt like he could be more. “You know I do.” The words came out soft, softer than you meant but he heard you all the same. You both stared at each other before a grin broke out on his face. “Then get your ass out of bed and let’s get going!” He gestured to the window, a giddy expression on his face. “Shush! Do you want my parents to hear you?” Eddie put a finger to his lips, mouthing the word ‘sorry’ while wincing. You rolled your eyes and smiled at him before telling him the plan. “Go meet me at the car while I change and grab the keys.” Eddie gave a thumbs up before climbing out the window as quietly as he could. It wasn’t hard to get the keys, they were hanging on the hook where they alway were. Now was the hard part, how to get the car out of the driveway without alerting your parents. “Now how the hell are we gonna do this?” He held up a finger, “I already thought of that, follow me.” “Of course you did,” you muttered under your breath. “ We’re gonna put the car in neutral and slowly roll it until we’re far enough away. Key word being slowly.” You balked at him in disbelief before letting out a chuckle. He couldn’t be serious. “Well? Hurry up, we don't have all night.” He motioned to the car expectantly. Of course he was serious because why wouldn’t he be. You huffed before rolling your eyes and following his lead as you both slowly moved the car away from the house.
You and your gaggle of boys that you call friends made it to the bar on time and in one piece, all thanks to you. It was a few towns over which meant no familiar faces, something you were all counting on. You made it just in time to hear them play the first song of the night. At first you were worried you’d be kicked out but as the night carried on you worried less. If anyone had suspicions you were underage they clearly didn’t care enough to do anything about it. The night wrapped up a little before 2, it was late but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Eddie was right, it was one hell of a night, definitely one for the books. The five of you made your way to your dads car, all of you laughing at something Gareth said. You waited until everyone was settled before beginning the drive home, you and Eddie up front and the rest of the boys in the back. It was the usual seating arrangement, at least it had been since the day you got your license. The car was loud with all the boys talking over one another but you just laughed and shook your head. Truthfully it made your heart swell, they were your boys. You loved them all, just in different ways. Sure they were your boys, but you wanted Eddie to be your boy. You wanted the cheesy compliments, the arcade dates, the feeling of him in your arms. You wanted it all, you yearned for it. But seeing him happy made you happy, and that was good enough for you. It had to be. You gave a quick glance in Eddie’s direction, his smile taking over his face as he replied to something Gareth said, or maybe it was Jeff. You weren’t sure, the only thing you knew was that you’d never forget tonight.
As all good things do, it soon came to an end. You were making your last stop before heading home: Eddie’s place. The car came to a halt and you paused, unsure of whether or not to break the comfortable silence that washed over the two of you. As if hearing your thoughts Eddie spoke up. “Happy Birthday, Y/N.” You blinked, in all the excitement of the night you had completely forgotten about your birthday. “Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.” You smiled, of course he would be the one to remember. “I uh, I have something for you.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, suddenly unsure of himself. He cleared his throat before reaching into the front pocket of his jacket. He fumbled with the button before pulling out a cord with something attached to it and handed it to you. You held it up and let out a small gasp when you finally got a good look at it. He took his favorite guitar pick and turned it into a necklace. You’d been eyeing it for as long as you could remember. It was on its last legs of course, but it was still as pretty as it was when he first used it. You’d joked on more than one occasion that one day he’d wake up and it would be gone. You never thought he would actually give it up, the pick was special to him. Part of you hoped that maybe this meant he might feel the same. There was a small hole at the top where the material went through, made by his knife no doubt. You weren’t sure of what to say, what do you say to the person that gave you a piece of them? “Eddie, this…” you trailed off. “This is your favorite pick, why would you-” You were cut off, “I can get another pick, I can’t get another you.” He coughed before continuing. “I uh, I want you to have it.” He fiddled with his rings, hoping it didn’t come off too as cheesy as it sounded. “Thank you.” Releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you wrapped him in a hug. Like the moment, it was a little awkward, the car not being the best spot for a hug. You pulled away slowly, meeting his eyes. You couldn’t remember who leaned in first, all you knew was that neither one of you made a move to stop. Your lips met and you swore your heart skipped a beat. Eventually you broke the kiss, resting your forehead on his. You had matching grins, the car silent except for the faint sound of the radio playing. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” you laughed, still in disbelief. “Middle school.” You pulled away, confused by his words. He continued, “I’ve been waiting to do that since that stupid talent show.” There it was, that warm gushy feeling. You shook your head and laughed. “Now you tell me.” He was definitely right, this was gonna be one hell of a memory. “Guess we have to make up for lost time then won’t we?” Just as soon as the words left his mouth he was pulling you in for another kiss.
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jennycalendar · 5 months
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sooooo thinking a bit about it because i never got around to finishing gingerbread & then subsequently saw some takes that seemed more than just a bit outraged at my perspective on joyce, which was lacking that critical finishing piece? which is that i think it is weird as hell that multiple times we get episodes where we see her create a traumatic experience for buffy & then the show goes “oops actually that was the magic” and these are the episodes where we spend the most time with joyce. when she’s under the influence of powerful magics that seriously impair her relationship with buffy.
and i think this is indicative of the larger problem in the way that joyce is written! said this a billion years ago but her love for buffy is consistently presented as a Narrative Hindrance that prevents her from fully understanding buffy’s calling, which is such a weird sad stance to take when she’s the only adult woman consistently present. like what does it say that the adult women who are actually well versed in the supernatural on a giles level are either evil (walsh, post) or must defer to giles & be found sexually attractive by him to be good (jenny)?? joyce is allowed to be seen as a morally uncomplicated presence because she’s not a threat to the existing status quo. blanket disclaimer i am rewatching at a snail’s pace and i still have to hit later seasons, but from where i am now, her concerns about buffy are soooo often made to seem ridiculous in the face of what buffy is going through, and coupled w the fact that the episodes we see the most of her in are all either her criticizing buffy for not trying hard enough to Be Normal OR her under the influence of powerful magics??? sends a really particular and inconsistent message. we don’t get enough time to sit with her as a person and not as someone for buffy to have friction with.
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starsarefire824 · 11 months
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For @wheelersboy @foodiewithdahoodie my madwheeler besties. 🖤 @perexcri tagging you too Babe cause Reasons™️.
Based off of @wheelersboy’s post from a few days ago. 😩
Kind of Best Friend
Hey Mike,
I'm not going to call you Shitface like I normally would, since, if you're reading this it probably means I'm dead or passed on or maybe just stuck in some agonizing hell with Vecna somewhere. I won't really know, will I? But the truth still is, if you're reading this, it means I'm not here anymore. And that's okay.
I mean I’m scared shitless right now, but you know it's like you said. Remember that one night at the quarry late last summer when the rest of the Party ditched us to go see Ferris Bueller for the four hundredth time? I had just broken up with Lucas and you were missing Will really badly and I was missing Billy. And we both were missing El. You had your feet hung over the edge of the quarry and I was scared I was going to fall. You threw your arm around my shoulder and chucked a rock into the pit. Then you drunkenly told me that every atom in our body was a billion years old and that if you really thought about it, it meant that we were made up of energy and that it would always be bouncing around the universe until the end of time. And you said that that really helped you when you couldn’t get Will being pulled out of the quarry out of your head.
Sometimes I think about that when Billy’s in my dreams too much.
And so yeah, if you're reading this maybe my brain isn't here and I can't fight you on any of your stupid ass plans anymore. And we can't sneak out of the lunch room to the alley between the art and science wing and eat lunch by ourselves when Eddie is being too insane. But maybe I'm still here somehow. Like the swirl of cream in your coffee in the morning or the wind kissing your hand. Like when you hung it out your dad's car window that one night when he picked the four of us up from the mall, and we were all too high to risk talking out loud. I watched your fingers glide through the air from the backseat and wished I thought anything else was as pretty as when the sky was periwinkle purple and the lightning bugs rushed by.
We never talked that night, after we had that awkward conversation in the parking lot while Dustin and Lucas were in the video store. We just sat in silence and watched two stupid comedies until one in the morning because you knew I didn’t want to go home. It was the nicest thing you ever did for me. I get that you like the quiet sometimes. I'm not Will. I know that. But I want you to know that you've weirdly become one of the best friends I've ever had. And I guess we can thank Mrs. Kelly for sitting us next to each other in 10th grade math for that. Who knew that getting high off sharpie markers and planning various murder plots to off Troy could be something to bond over.
I mean, you're still a total idiot, and you've been way too moody and a complete asshole to pretty much everyone since El and Will left. And you really do need to clean up your fucking armpit of a basement. Seriously Mike...if Hawkins isn't totally destroyed and you and Lucas and Dustin and the rest of them somehow make it out of this. Please, for the love of god, can you clean your basement. And afterwards, get everyone together, eat too much pepperoni pizza, and play a campaign for me. I'm sure Eddie can help you with that. And tell Dustin I’m sorry for making fun of him when he asked to sit in for Lucas. The truth is I wanted to play—but you know. I just couldn’t.
And speaking of the truth. Please! Do not waste any more of your or my time not being honest with yourself. I am El's best friend. I would kill you for her in a split second. You are aware of this right? But I know you Mike. I know the real reason why you've been so sad since the Byers moved to California. And now that I'm dead I can say this. It doesn't matter what it means. You need to be honest with yourself and be honest with Will and El.
You need to be brave Mike. It's fucking important. It really sucks, but it’s true that you never know when you might find out your life is over.
Don't do what you think is right. Do what your heart really wants. El will understand. El doesn't need you.
But Will does. So fucking fix it.
And also...just….thanks. For sitting with me when no one else would.
Your kind of best friend,
Mad Max
PS. My mom was wasted one time and told me you were her favorite friend of mine. And also, I am sorry for that one time when you slept over my house after we drank at the quarry. I was lonely and sad and way too drunk. But yeah, El and Will are lucky to have someone as nice as you…. with noodle arms that turns out are great for hugs.
When you're not being a whiny bitch anyway.
Also if you ever tell anyone about that night. Or for that matter, any of the nice things I just said about you in this letter... I WILL KILL YOU. I DON'T CARE IF I’M DEAD.
Mike chuckles a broken sob and sweeps a tear from the lined notebook page that Max has splattered with her bubbly handwriting in blue ink. It smears some of her words and he curses.
"Shit!" he hisses, wiping his snotty nose with the back of his hand and shifting quickly to spread the paper out flat on his bed. He tries to iron out a few of the creases and rereads some of his favorite lines, laughing all over again. He can hear her voice as she makes fun of him, can see the crease at her brow and the disgusted squint of her blue eyes. Eyes that flashed at him with hatred one minute and humor the next. His laugh grows thinking of her face, red hair wild and staring up at him from whatever short person's world she inhabited. Mike laughs to himself until he can't breathe. He laughs and laughs, until those laughs turn to sobs and the tears flow down his face and drip off his nose. He never expected it but the hole ripped open inside his chest at the thought of Max being gone forever is utterly agonizing.
Eventually, his lungs find air again and the tears stop falling. His body is completely exhausted and his eyes are red rimmed and raw. He dries his face and knits his brow together with determination, squinting over at the radio he left lying on his desk before he left for California. She's not dead, he thinks with determination. Max is lying in Hawkins Hospital, broken and sleeping. But not dead.
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