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wonijinjin · 5 months

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seventeen members when their introverted s/o feels socially exhausted

author’s note: i am a very extroverted person so it was a bit difficult to write this but i hope i could still make it comforting for my introvert darlings. enjoy!

synopsis: what the title says

word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairings: seventeen x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of food, mental health

seungcheol would be a little bit taken aback at first since his nature makes him an absolute worrier; he would be asking you if you were feeling okay. if you were out in the city he would definitely suggest going home so you could recharge your energy in peace, next to his comforting presence. you could also expect him to be extra clingy after you gave him the green light of being in your more extroverted mood again.

now jeonghan is known to get drained eventually in social situations aswell, so he would be no stranger to helping you feel comfortable. he would make sure you had a little bit of quiet, leaving you for a bit with your thoughts to really think about what you wanted, and whatever that might be he would be sure to give it to you; cuddles or alone time, sleeping or just the two of you talking mindlessly about various topics.

joshua is very observant so he would notice the signs of you getting pretty tired, that is why he would make an excuse to get the pair of you home from the friendly gathering you were attending at that time, since he wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking directly. after stepping inside your bedroom he would surely ask if you wanted to talk about it with him, and do as you decide to proceed.

jun is one of the more silent lovers, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be the most attentive partner to ever exist. he is quick witted so he would always have advice for you if you needed it regarding getting through a difficult time, guiding you through the ways he had solved this problem in the past. you could also expect him to buy you your comfort foods aswell, because he wants you to take care of yourself.

hoshi is a very extroverted person so he may have trouble with helping you if you got socially exhausted, but he would do everything in his power to be a fast learner. he would want you tell him whenever you needed a break from him and his friends since you hung out a lot on a daily basis, and he would gladly bomb you with long voice messages saying during you recharge period so you wouldn’t feel alone even then.

wonwoo has a very quiet way of caring for you, usually many silent acts of service included in it; the moment he saw your energy levels drop he would absolutely ask if you wanted to spend some time away from people, whispering into your ear lowly as he stroked your hair in an encouraging and comforting manner to let him know what you wanted to do next to which he would happily adjust his schedule too.

woozi doesn’t go out often so he might be a little bit confused about your feelings, but he would be desperate to understand what you mean. he would just take you to his studio where the two of you could easily lay on the couch, calming muic playing in the background while he patiently listened to your worries, cooing at how exhausted you probably looked and felt, trying to get you to sleep beside him to get the rest you deserved.

dk can be a very loud person sometimes so it would probably take some time for him to notice your change in behaviour, after you constantly going to social events, having to surround yourself with people frequently. he would be all over you (actually kind of making the situation even worse lmao) trying to figure out a way to help, to which you would gladly accept the cuddles offered by him, needing his touch only.

mingyu is also a very hyped man so he would definitely be sulking upon hearing you say that you were very drained and wanted some peace and quiet since this puppy cannot shut up. poor boy would be so careful around you, being afraid of upsetting you by making noise every minute, and you would have to tell him that he was always welcomed in your space, to which he would happily smother you in kisses.

minghao can be very understanding about your feelings, he himself likes to spend some time to take care of his mental health and well-being, this is why when you confided in him and talked about how you felt he would suggest trying meditation with him. he would also encourage you to openly say no to people when you don’t feel like letting them into your personal space or not wanting to hang out with them.

your mental health may be one of the most important things for seungkwan, since he knows how badly it can affect your mood if you are not feeling comfortable. he would baby you a lot, letting you come to him with your worries and thoughts so he won’t overwhelm you with his constant questions. he would also make sure you eat and drink enough since he no how you tend to neglect your own needs from time to time.

vernon is the perfect example of a person who can be left alone and enjoy his time without others’ presence so if you ever felt burnt out from people but still wanted to be active in some kind of way he would have many ideas offered to you about how to get that much needed recharge from the world; trying a new hobby which doesn’t include other individuals and can make you relax while doing it.

dino knew something was up with you the moment he looked into you direction, he knew you exceeded your limits and wished to rest a bit, to turn your mind off. he would take you dancing with him (even if you were just watching) to make you focus on the beatsof the music and move to it, shaking the stres away off your tired form and to physically exhaust yourself to then get into bed and sleep easily like a baby.

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throwaway-yandere · 2 years

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!!!MODERN YANDERE IDOL!GENSHIN/READER MATCH-UP EVENT!!! (Masterlist)

"Oh no... another poor unfortunate soul."

Slots available: "CLOSED. 22 ANONS HAVE SUBMITTED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS INTERVIEW" - Exec. Producer Alice

"It was supposed to be 20 but I forgot to close it." - Producer Lumine

"And who's fault is that, exactly?" - CEO Alhaitham

"... I know..." - Producer Lumine

LIST OF ANONS THAT GOT IN

THANK YOU POSTERS

=============

SENDER: (Executive Producer) Alice ||

WELCOME TO TEYVAT PRODUCTIONS.

PLEASE READ THE GUIDELINES BEFORE ACKNOWLEDGING THE LIST OF IDOL GROUPS YOU MIGHT GET ASSIGNED TO.

HERE IS THE LIST:

ADDICKTZ

ADDICKTZ, formerly known as DCKZ, is an idol group formed in 20XX. They are incredibly well-known in the industry and their singles frequently top the charts. All the members previously worked as fashion models and half of the members (Dainsleif, Arataki Itto, Kaeya Alberich, and Childe) took movie and theatre roles. They are currently the number #1 unit in terms of presenting satisfactory fanservice.

Ayato || Diluc || Dainsleif || Itto || Childe || Kaeya || Thoma || Zhongli

["For your sake, I advise you to start praying for the God you believe in so that you won't end up producing ADDICKTZ. Unlike me, they might just listen to you. Why won't they listen to me? Hmm. Well, that's because I've never been a devotee. Still, be wary." - Dainsleif]

5WIRL

5WIRL, formally known as 4NEMO before Shikanoin Heizou's debut, is an idol group formed in 20XX. They often experiment with multiple genres of music and present multicultural aesthetics. The group consistently adds their thematic light green and wind motifs in their albums, poetry, and other media. 5WIRL's lyrics have often discussed mental health, stages of grief, nature, and other self-reflections.

Venti || Xiao || Kazuha || Heizou

Note: Aether is under Producer Lumine's management.

["Ohohoho, a lost guest! It's always nice to see a new face around here! Can I get you something to drink? I promise you can trust me!... Geez, what's with that look? I don't spike drinks. Is that sooo hard to believe?" - Venti]

Kreideprinz

Dr. Albedo operates a solo unit more professionally known as "Kreideprinz." He debuted in 20XX before his major label debut album "The Chalk Prince and the Dragon" in 20XX under his previous producer "Alice". His unit work focuses on commercials, modeling for magazines, and talk shows. The unit rarely goes on tours since Dr. Albedo prioritizes his scientific research more than idol work.

Dr. Albedo || (Student) Gorou

["You must have a strong body and you must also stay on top of your game in this industry. Although, if you do get assigned to Kreideprinz, leave the heavy lifting to us!... Or me. Just. Only rely on me. Y-You don't have to keep your eyes on him 24/7." - Gorou]

I HEREBY AGREE TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OUTLINED IN THIS AGREEMENT AND SUCH IS DEMONSTRATED THROUGHOUT BY MY SIGNATURE BELOW

____________________________________

SIGNATURE OVER PRINTED NAME

=============

"So, which unit will Mx. (Y/n) end up working with? Ooh, Paimon can't wait!"

"I don't know kid, but something tells me that something bad is going to happen..."

=============

"Pwah! It's fiiine! They may be a total newbie, but Paimon thinks they can handle it!... Right?"

PERSONS OF INTEREST (SECRET MATCH-UPS)

Teyvat Productions' logo's made by ESTHER anon!!!

CEO Alhaitham

Manga Shop Owner Cyno

Music Composer Tighnari

Creative Director Zandik (ADDICKTZ)

Creative Director Baizhu (5wirl)

Stylist & Model Scaramouche (Affiliated w/ 5wirl)

Trainee Kaveh

Pantalone

"Interesting... So these are the people that didn't become producers, huh? But why do you keep a record of them, miss Alice?"

"Isn't it obvious Lumine? It's because they're interesting, duh~"

=========================

EXTRAS:

ADDICKTZ video shtpost: "Tonight on the real ADDICKTZ at TeyvatPro"

[READ AFTER KAEYA'S FIC] Dottore's always watching.

[GENERAL SPOILERS] Incorrect Quotes, P2, P3

TIGHNARI'S TAPES (voice lines):

[AFTER KAEYA'S FIC] Qiqi and Xingqiu during Childe's recording

[BEFORE AYATO'S FIC] Beidou and Sucrose in front of Albedo's room

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gabessquishytum · 1 month

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tw stepfamily fantasy, age difference. Human AU.

I promise this is Dreamling, stay with me lol

When Time dies, Night is eager to find herself a strapping young husband. Enter Hob, who has heard that the widow Endless is filthy rich. Don't get him wrong, Night IS a beautiful woman, but it's the money he's after. He charms her easily enough, and in less than 6 months they're married and living together in her huge mansion... it's only then that Hob gets to know her kids.

He knew she had 7 of them, of course, but, well, this is a lot. The eldest two seem well-adjusted enough, sort of, but they're early 20's and out of the house already? The youngest boy ran away from home and no one bothered to look for him. Del and Despair aren't getting any mental health care they seem to badly need. And then there's Desire and Dream.

Desire is beautiful and charming and smart as a whip, but they change sexual partners more often than most people do underwear and they're only 16. They love their twin but are awful to their other siblings and downright cruel to Dream.

And Dream... he's a piece of work, yes. But he's pretty. Just as pretty as his sibling, if not more. He's got a bratty cruelty that echoes Desire's but could still be corrected by a firm hand... He mocks Hob mercilessly for his humble origins and because Hob married for money, and to Dream's heartless mother of all people! He's so closed off to affection, shouts at Hob even while bursting into tears when Hob tells him Hob could at least be a friend to him, since 34 is a bit young to be a father figure to a teen. But oh, Hob can tell: this boy is so, so lonely. Dream wishes someone would take him, even if only for money...

Desire, of course, immediately figures out that Hob isn't actually in love with Night and promply tries to seduce him. Hob gently rejects them, of course, but they try again. And again. And again. And... well. And it's hard. It's really hard to resist them. They're really really beautiful, of course, and they're so good at this... but Hob's one braincell that's still getting blood knows better than to fuck a 16-year-old with that huge a cruel streak. That's just asking for trouble. And besides, Hob likes a challenge. Desire is just... too easy.

Dream, however... what a little temptation he is. He's so reserved. He tries to focus on his art. He tries to pay Hob little mind, but can't help to listen and smile at Hob's tales. He's gotten his heart broken more times than anyone should have any right to at his age, and is just as depressed as Despair and only marginally better at hiding it... Now, that's a challenge. And such an easy target at the same time. Seducing him would be so fun! Hob can just imagine how outraged Dream would be at first... but Hob can be convincing, and Dream so badly needs someone to want him. And Hob is so horny, with Desire touching him all day, whispering filth in his ear, trying to sext him and send him nudes. You see, Night has a pretty low libido, too low if you ask Hob, and Hob's hand is a poor substitute for sex with another person.

Hob doesn't want Night to divorce him, of course, so he's wary of looking for sex outside the house, afraid to get caught if he's out too long with no explanation (he doesn't need to work now after all) and he wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of the house staff...

Isn't it so convenient that Dream just turned 18?

-PA

(reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated)

Oh fuck oh FUCK this is hot. AND HEY PA ANON I MISSED YOU <333

Hob feels like he's living inside a powder keg, honestly. He thought that marrying for money and living a life of luxury would be wonderful, but now he even longs for a job that would just get him out of the house. He's trapped in horny hell and he's sure that he's going to do something terrible and/or stupid. As a last ditch attempt, he sweetly suggests to Night that the two of them could take a little vacation - just the two of them, to the gorgeous little tropical vacation spot that the family owns. Death and Destiny can watch over the kids, and Night can have a well deserved break!

Alas, she just smiles and kisses Hob’s cheek. Unfortunately she's far too busy for a holiday right now. But she encourages Hob to go and soak up the sun - he's starting to look pale and stressed, and she can't have her toyboy husband looking under the weather. Her one request is that Hob should take Dream with him. She's noticed that Dream and Desire's fights have been getting more and more serious recently, and she's tired of the screaming matches. Some time apart will be beneficial for the siblings. And it will make Night's life a lot quieter.

Hob can't backtrack now, so he agrees. And he's even more glad to get away, because when Desire finds out that Dream has been sent off on holiday with Hob, they throw an absolute fit. Naked. In Hob’s bedroom. Hob’s single braincell really needs to get out of there.

It's not like Dream is even pleased to be forcibly packed off on holiday with his "step-father". He spends the whole journey in snide silence, occasionally muttering under his breath about Hob being a total creep. (And he's right, because Hob is still shamefully horny about the beautiful 18 year old. He nearly embarrasses himself completely when Dream grabs his hand because they hit turbulence.)

But it's funny how you can hate someone and still want to fuck them. Older men were always Desire's territory, but Dream is starting to see the appeal. He's starting to think that his mother is a fool for letting Hob out of her sight. When he catches his first glimpse of Hob on the beach in his swimwear, Dream makes up his mind: he's going to be a bad person.

Hob fucks him for the first time on the beach-house balcony. There are stars above them, possibly - Dream doesn't really recall. He's sure that Hob recalls even less. He's desperate, primal, unhinged. He cums, and just keeps going until both of them are exhausted. Obviously somebody needs to take care of him properly, if this is how wound up he gets.

Well. The Endless family have always been fucked up. This is just another chapter in the story. Maybe Night will even be grateful to her son, for keeping her husband happy...

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw toxic relationship #cw dubcon #cw dubious consent #cw stepcest #cw age gap #tagged dubcon because of age issues only.

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tarysande · 1 year

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ADHD

I had ADHD for over thirty years before it was diagnosed, and part of the reason why it took so long is because a few specific things absolutely did not resonate with me. At all. And I saw them listed as "symptoms" of ADHD ALL THE TIME.

So, I thought I'd write up a quick list in case it helps someone else out there see past the stereotypes that are too often used as diagnostics.

ADHDers struggle with reading/words/speech etc.

ADHDers have a history of poor grades or attention at school.

ADHDers have a history of drug and/or alcohol abuse.

ADHDers can't sit still.

And how did I differ?

I read constantly. In fact, one might say I HYPERFOCUS on reading. I would rather read information than listen to it. (Reason #1 that I just can't get into podcasts!) The problem has never been reading--it's stopping reading. I'm a professional writer and editor with a background in acting. Words have never been a problem. Do some ADHDers struggle with words? Hell, yeah. Do ALL ADHDers struggle with words? Nope. Not even close. (PS: A lot of ADHDers who struggle with words may actually also have other learning struggles, such as dyslexia. ADHD loooooves a comorbidity!)

This is still SUCH a persistent myth. Even the psychologist who diagnosed me was hesitant because I had stellar grades all through my education. The more research they do, however, the more they realize that other things (autism, giftedness, etc.) can actually mask or mitigate the "typical" symptoms of ADHD that lead to it being diagnosed at school. And if you're an ADHDer who, say, hyperfocuses on learning (because it's cool! and you learn new things all the time!), or who has developed extremely effective coping mechanisms (perfectionism, people-pleasing, etc.), or who deliberately sticks to "safe" subjects to avoid challenge and possible failure, grades are NOT a good measure of ADHD. (Look into what it means to be "twice exceptional"--you may find a list of traits that resonates a lot more!)

ADHDers are out there looking for anything that'll give them a dopamine hit. Boredom is deadly. And the mix of novelty-seeking and low inhibition can often result in risky behavior. However, this can manifest in many, many ways. Drugs, alcohol, sexual partners? None of that was relevant to me. Spending, however? Especially spending money I didn't have on things I didn't need just to feel that itty bitty thrill of OOH SOMETHING NEW! ... yeah, that was a real problem. But not one I usually saw on those symptom lists, even though ADHD+finances can result in HUGE and life-altering problems.

Even bearing in mind that there are different presentations of ADHD--and that inattentive is one of them--ADHD does NOT always present as physical restlessness. Often, mental restlessness--racing thoughts, daydreaming, distractability, inability to "turn off your brain" to get enough sleep--slips through the diagnostic cracks and can be FAR more disruptive to one's health and happiness. And, again, many ADHDers develop coping mechanisms that can end up being very unhealthy or unsustainable in the long term. (I keep my ADHD in my thumb, for example. I can be perfectly still for a long, long time. However, my right thumb fidgets almost constantly. It's weird. Now that I've noticed it, I can't unsee it.)

I guess what I'm saying is ... nothing is set in stone where ADHD is concerned, so don't be afraid to dig deeper, especially if some aspects hit hard. Exploration is a good thing. Questioning is a good thing.

#adhd #adhd things #tara talks adhd #brains are weird #and they're all different #long text post

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dairy-farmer · 3 months

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Know what would be fun? And In Line With My Interests?

If Tim had a "Me Time" chair. Basicly bat improved sex furniture. Better motors, nicer padding, the works. Tim made it! Because his brain gets LOUD. And sometimes? He just... he just needs "me time".

No thinking. Only feeling good. Safe and contained and focused.

Orgasms til he's nice and boneless. Drooling and empty headed. Just wanting to cuddle and sleep. Me time~

Problem. Hard to DO that if he has to keep track of remotes. Be in charge of stuff. Write some sort of control program. He's trying to work out the kinks in his plan when Bruce points out the obvious. Have a trusted second person control the chair.

Brilliant! Will you do it?

Bruce chokes on his own spit. But? Is TRYING to connect with his son... so... bonding?

Then Tim needs Me Time. Looks like shit. Stressed af. They head for the side room, soundproofed of course. Tim already stripping. Finding something not TOO thick, but thick and nubby. Distracting. Focusing, ya know?

Hoping up and long legs on the holster. Leaning back with a relieved sigh. Blindfold on. Bruce is trying not too look. Lies to himself, going to get some case work done. Surely.

He fails.

Deep and relentless. Hypnotic. Squishing in, squelching out. Little gasps and then bigger whimpers. A relentless, buzzing little bead against his poor clit.

This is supposed to be for Tim. JUST Tim. But he finds himself palming himself. Being a bit mean, flicking on the vibration function on that thick, plunging thing. Pressing a silencing hand to his own face as he gets off. Careful not to make even a single sound. As he watches.

Tim takes it so well. Gets off again and again.

And when he's utterly spent and boneless? Whining with each thrust? Bruce stops the chair like he's supposed too. He's TRUSTED after all. Cleans up his messy, messy boy. All sweat and drool, gushing, weakly fluttering holes. And carries his bundled up son to bed.

His son who wants to CUDDLE.

Clings to his warmth and dead to the world. Drifting, high as a kite in the afterglow. Sometimes, he whines to STAY full. Bruce is "forced" to choose some thick toy to gently work in. Something he can clench around and wake up too, tomorrow. Still cuddled in Bruce's arms. It's a sacrifice he gladly makes for his boy.

Even the nights he doesn't wish to wake up full. Bruce knows just what to give him.

Because he LOVES sleeping full. Being held, inside and out. A weighted blanket for the soul. Bruce cuddles his boy close. Listens to his gentle breathing, utterly dead to the world, and gives him something warm to clench on. Fills him up and up until he's full. Connected, just the two of them.

Always out early, so his boy can wake up empty like he wants. Calm and ready for the day. Bruce has to admit... Tim's "Me Time" really brings them closer. Leaves Tim calmer. It's good for his mental health, honestly.

He should do it more often.

-🐼

yesssssss!!!!!!!! bruce fuckign tim by proxy!!! technically he's NOT touching him so it SHOULD be alright but at the same time he's controlling speed, depth, and focusing on fucking tim and making sure he has a good time and is all boneless. then he cleans his baby tim up and holds him as he passes out from getting fucked by bruce even though bruce hasn't touched him1!!!

the "technically i didn't touch' him is soo good!!!!!

bruce helping tim with this and bringing them closer with tim getting what he needs and bruce being able to put someone at his mercy because he can mercilessly fuck tim without touching him and tim will be whining and begging. bruce could very easily be mean and force tim to lie there being fucked for hours- all that power placed in bruce's head does wonders for his control issues!!!

#asks #answered asks #anonymous #brutim

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worriedvision · 1 year

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Failing to push him away - Cyno

Gender neutral reader, second part of this. Does still mention the same topics as the first part, but by the title I’m sure you can tell this doesn’t work with Cyno.

You opted not to work anywhere, simply living as a hermit. You had pushed enough people away that you convinced yourself that nobody would come looking for you, and you were no longer going to be a burden on the people who you cherished. You survived off the food in the wilderness, courtesy of the courses Tighnari gifted you back when you weren’t struggling with your mental health as much.

But your activity was deemed suspicious by the General Mahamatra. Truth be told, Cyno was beginning to sense that there was meaning behind the lies you told. Many people, even before Tighnari, didn’t want to be around you given your reputation of making up lies that you calculated to eventually backfire. Cyno had plenty of experience when it comes to people lying, and he hadn’t found anything to pin you to a crime.

So, he starts to conveniently come across you during a walk, inviting you to a game. You reluctantly agree, knowing Cyno likely was bored and needed something to do. After the game, he left, and you thought that would be the last time you saw him.

However, you were proven wrong. Cyno showed up quite often, always inviting you to a game. Over time, you started to indulge in conversation, listening to his jokes and reacting to them as appropriate. You knew it wouldn’t be long until your mental health took a dip again, the loneliness not helping, so you wanted to enjoy your limited time with Cyno.

Since nobody else walked along to talk to you, you decide to lie directly to Cyno about hating him. You figured he would just nod and walk away, no pushback, and leave you as he rants to Tighnari about how horrible of a person you were.

Yet, Cyno knew much better than you did. He figured out why you lied to people after Tighnari spoke about how you lied about him. It was clear to him that you were trying to make a poor image of yourself, and from your first interaction it was obvious to Cyno your self esteem was rather low.

“Do you wonder why you can’t get anyone else to play another stupid game with you?” You spit out, Cyno not flinching nor showing any reaction to your comment. “You’re boring, that’s why.” You try to jab at Cyno, Cyno not reacting at all. “Are you listening to me, or are you zoning out to not hear the truth?”

“No. I am ‘zoning out’ because I know you’re lying to me.” Cyno calmly explains, your form sitting upright as you try to rack your brain for ideas. “Isn’t it lonely to push people away with lies that tarnish your reputation?”

“Isn’t it lonely to...to...” you trail off, trying to think of something horrible to say to push Cyno away. “To be...”

“Stop.” Cyno continues to talk. “You’re normally lovely to be around. I know your mental health contributes strongly to your negative actions. You need help, and I want to help you.”

“Why? I’m an anchor on everyone I’ve ever interacted with.” You croak out, tears starting to fall. “You have more important things to do as the General Mahamatra.”

“I hardly think saving you from yourself is not worth my time.” Cyno refutes.

“Well, I can’t take back any of my lies. It’s not like any of the people I care for will give me a chance to redeem myself.” You explain quietly.

“If you trust me, I’m sure I can explain the situation to Tighnari.” Cyno offers.

“There’s no way he’ll understand it.” You refute, Cyno shaking his head lightly.

“Tighnari is open minded. I’m sure with the evidence from articles I discovered over the years, he will come to the same conclusion I have.” Cyno states. “Now, let me take you to a doctor. They can discuss treatment plans with you.”

#cyno x reader #cyno x gender neutral reader #cyno #gender neutral reader #tighnari #depressive episode #angst

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sazzujazzu · 30 days

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Hello, as the days count down and the Bad Batch finale draws closer, may I show to the fine folks of tumblr my first Star Wars OC in 20 years, created thanks to this show? 😃

Too bad, I'm showing them anyway 😊 somberly chilling while listening to their bestie talk.

Please excuse the poor background (I got lazy) and half-finished Tech (I got sad)

there's, uh, a big mess of words under the image because I wanted to put into words the importance this show has for me, and I am bad at doing so.

I want to get some thoughts off my chest, because I have no one in my day-to-day life who cares about the animated Star Wars shows, and especially the Bad Batch. (well, other than my mom, but I don't want to bore her with my rambling too much. she already banned star wars from me once, i won't let that happen again lol)

I can't stop thinking how much I don't want Bad Batch to end.

This show has been so dear to me. I can't remember the last time I've loved something this much.

Before the second season started, I had an artistic block that had lasted way too long. Anything I drew or wrote, mostly turned out a horrible mess after staring at a blank page for hours and hours, if I ever managed to create anything at all. For someone who tends to draw whenever their hands aren't otherwise busy (aka all the damn time), such a block weighed down on my mental health.

Well, then season two happened, and full-on gave me back my love for Star Wars, a love that had somewhat gone out over the last few years. Then, Plan 99 happened, and broke me because again my favorite character "died" (I'm in team Tech lives until I draw my last breath or until proven correct. That chocolate-eyed cutie-pie is alive nothing will convince me otherwise). Pretty much after finishing the episode and staring at a wall for another 30 minutes, I said "nope" and began writing.

I wrote for hours. I believe it's been well over a decade since I last wrote fanfiction, but here I was, creating a Star Wars oc, something I'd last done as a ten-year-old. And now, roughly a year later, I think I've written over a hundred pages of (very self-indulgent) fanfiction with the Batch, and with my oc that I've come to love.

And drawing, oh boy, have I been drawing!

(... Sure, I've mostly been drawing Tech, over and over again, to a point I once actually considered lying and saying "yeah that's my boyfriend haha!" to a man at my job last summer, when asked who it was that I was drawing for maybe fifth day in a row 😂 likely would've been a more acceptable excuse for someone my age. But, I mean... I just really love drawing him, not only because he is my favorite character of maybe all time, but because he is just so fun to draw! And most of all, at least I draw again!)

And it is all thanks to this wonderful show about a bunch of defective and effective copy-paste boys and their sister.

It's probably something many say, but I've always felt like a bit of an outsider. I've felt like I have no place; when I was a kid, my interests were very different from the other kids of [gender assigned at birth], and trying to play with them while inserting my own interests into the games, often didn't go so well. I was... kind of an odd child (although now, older and questionably wiser, knowing that I might actually be autistic, many things make more sense now. me kind of discovering this about myself is also partially thanks to Bad Batch)

Also, growing up trans/non-binary, while not even knowing what that is or having a word for it, didn't really do much to help with the feeling of "I'm different and an outsider because of it". Perhaps it was one more reason I fell in love with Clone Force 99, because I could see some of myself in them. Being different from the "regs".

I love this show, and these fictional people have become my family, and I am not ready to say goodbye to them.

Alright, weird pile of thoughts over. In case someone read all this, uh... thanks 😊

#i'm nervously rambling into the void #the bad batch #the bad batch fanart #star wars oc #jedi oc

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juukeboxx · 1 year

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Bayverse!Leo Headcanons

Hi everyone!

I'm back at it again with the Bayverse headcanons, and this time we have the fearless leader in blue Leo. I've been thinking about these movies more and more often since one of my friends watched them for the first time. I know that this version of Leo isn't everyone's favorite and I honestly think the writer's did his character dirty in Out of the Shadows so I really wanted to sit and write out some headcanons to do him a bit justice. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of insomnia, anxiety and anxiety attacks, slight spoilers for the movies if you haven't seen them

Word count: 657

Leo is a pretty big fan of puzzles. When Splinter would go to the surface for supplies he would sometimes come home with a puzzle that was dumped behind one of the toy stores. He would either do them by himself or with Donnie.

Game shows are his bread and butter. Growing up there were specific game shows he would watch with each of his brothers. He would watch Jeopardy with Donnie, Press Your Luck with Raph, and any sort of music based game show with Mikey.

They still watch game shows together regularly.

Surprisingly, Leo wasn't a super big fan of tea at first. Splinter let him try a sip when he was a kid and called it "dirt water." Now he drinks it all the time.

His favorite is green tea with a bit of honey, but he also enjoys a good Earl Grey or chai tea.

He only has one mug that he uses for tea. It's a mug Mikey had made and gifted him when they were kids and he has used it almost everyday since.

Leo has never been a fan of anything too sweet. His favorite candy growing up though was M&M's.

Loves, loves, loves music. Growing up Splinter found them a radio and the boys were SO EXCITED. Leo would listen to it for hours and hours.

Because of this (outside of his meditation, he likes to have complete silence so he can focus) Leo will have some sort of music playing in the background.

Leo has a really nice singing voice but would rather walk on hot coals than be caught singing.

He sometimes finds it hard to partake in or share hobbies with his younger brothers. Ever since they went to the surface for the first time (against their father's wishes I'm sure) he's constantly trying to look out for and protect his family. It's hard to partake in hobbies when you have to constantly remain vigilant.

Leo sometimes thinks that he is the one that is solely responsible for the safety of his family. So when big (sometimes life changing) decisions come his way he gets scared and acts rash.

Leo can definitely be a blockhead sometimes. He sometimes oversteps boundaries by using his authority, not only as the leader of the group but also as the eldest brother. It's in these moments when he needs a big piece of humble pie.

He's got a bit of insomnia. Leo was never sleep adverse like Donnie was, but after saving the world twice and working with the NYPD Leo is under more pressure than usual and it's taking a bit of a toll on his mental health.

Leo's anxiety was much worse as a kid and because of this he was an anxious puker. He's learned to cope with his anxiety over the years but sometimes when a particular patrol goes the wrong way or someone gets hurt that's when he starts to revert back to those behaviors.

He didn't have too many anxiety attacks as a kid and doesn't have too many now that he's older but they do creep in every now and then.

Leo tries really hard to be a good big brother, and when he looks back on his poor leadership and the way he was a bad brother in Out of the Shadows he genuinely feels terrible. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say to his brothers so he tries to give it some time before he tries to give an apology.

Sometimes it's hard for him not to think that he hasn't failed his siblings as their oldest brother. He thinks about all the times he's had an argument with Raph or the times when he's shot down Donnie's ideas as fast as a bullet or when he calls Mikey an idiot and he cringes so hard. He beats himself up over it sometimes.

Leo strives to be a better older brother.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse tmnt #tmnt leo #leonardo hamato

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sweetbillwriting · 15 days

Text

Love Just Happens

A New Chapter - Part 21

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, ageism, bullying, gossiping, mentions of abuse, cheating, mental health problems.

Notes: It's just a couple chapters left of Bill and Aurora's story. Or at least what we get to be a part of. I'm trying to prepare myself for a life without them lol.

Bill scrolled tweets over and over. He searched his own name, both with Å and A and searched for Aurora, knowing the results with her full name would show up too. It wasn't often he looked himself up like that, the times he had he most often searched his project's name instead of his own to be able to ignore most of the weird sort of tweets.

The results that came up were mostly things he had already read but it made his chest burn anyway.

Bill has cheated several times on Aurora. It was the reason they broke up the first time.

It was he who decided Aurora's career was over. He knocked her up and took her money.

Their relationship had always been weird. It started with Aurora cheating on Timmy since then their relationship has been full of toxic behaviors.

I wonder who the source is. Some say his ex, others say her mother. Poor baby being in the middle of this.

He didn't recognize himself in the things they wrote, he didn't recognize his relationship with Aurora in their words either. He had never cheated, their relationship was far from toxic. He would say it was anything but. He continued scrolling and seeing the same things over and over until he found a YouTube link.

Things I Hate About You.

Leaked Aurora Lou song about her and Bill's relationship.

Bill sat and looked at the link for a while. He knew she had written many songs about him so that wasn't new but the word ‘hate’ stood out to him. He clicked it after a few seconds and put it on low volume.

It sounded like one of her regular songs, inspired by 90s RnB. He smirked a little to himself when he heard her sing about small silly things he did. Everything from him being bad at parking to how strict he could be towards her dogs but his smile fell quickly when he heard the line:

“I hate your stutters.”

He wouldn't care if it was someone else saying it but it got so personal when he heard it come out from his wife's mouth. He had never been bullied but like many children he had been teased and it was always the stutter and those comments would still come back by others, mostly when he had been out and met people who were probably jealous of him in reality but instead insulted him.

He laughed a little to himself and shook his head, tried to brush it aside but he didn't have time for that before he heard one more that actually hurt.

“I hate listening to your middle child traumas.”

He had talked with her much more than anyone else. He had opened up about being the child in the middle, why he had such high expectations of himself and how pushed aside he sometimes had felt when drama happened in the family. He had believed Aurora was interested in it, in him, but now he didn't feel as sure and he felt shame sneak up on him.

The bathroom door creaked a little when Aurora came out. She wore just a lacy mint green lingerie set and her hair was in blown out curls. She had decided they wouldn't lose the intimacy between them even if there was so much drama around them, and had bought a lot of new lingerie to be able to surprise him every night. She furrowed her brows when she thought she heard a melody she recognized but couldn't say what it was.

“What are you listening to?”

Bill looked at her. He tried to smile teasingly but Aurora could see the hurt feelings behind it.

“‘Things I Hate About You.”

Aurora looked at him, still with furrowed brows but when the light went up she crawled over the bed.

“Has it leaked??” She said, upset and looked over his arm at his phone. Bill just nodded, he became a bit annoyed that was her first question, not how he felt about the song.

“What?! No one has contacted me! Have they missed this?” She took her own phone on the nightstand but then looked at Bill again who bitdown so hard it looked like he would crunch his teeth to pieces. She sighed when she realized he hadn't taken the lyrics so lightly as she had thought.

“I wrote it when we had broken up…”

Bill nodded and laid his phone on the bed and stood up.

“You know I really love all those things… I was just hurt.”

He stood just in a pair of white Calvin's with his hands on hips and dragged a foot through the short fibers of the rug.

“I'm glad you never released it because then our life would have been very different now.”

“Of course I wouldn't release it. It was just therapy.”

Aurora sat like a mermaid in bed while the song ended but instead of silence you could hear a familiar giggle.

“Do you feel better now?” Said Mattias. Aurora giggled sweetly again.

“It does. It really does. Fuck him.”

Aurora shut her eyes and sighed. She had forgotten that it was a part of the track. It was never made for release so nothing was as it should be in the song.

Bill raised his eyebrows and laughed unamused before scratching the back of his head. Aurora loved when he did that, when his biceps showed so well, the muscles in his torso stretched out and she could see the dark hair in his armpit but in that moment she couldn't look at him like that because he was obviously hurt.

“Bill…” she whined when he walked out of the room. She walked after him but he didn't turn around.

“I just need some time alone, okay? I get that this was some sort of therapy for you but… That's personal stuff you just blurted out in front of your new boyfriend and…” Bill finally looked at her. “Now awful shit about me and us is everywhere. Did you tell him shit and he has talked to the press?” Bill gave her a serious look but it changed to confusion when he saw how offended she looked.

“What? You're saying I said to him that you cheated on me? That you were controlling? Do you think I am such a bitch?”

Bill dragged a hand over his face, he really didn't like to fight.

“No but… You maybe said shit so that in his head it sounded like such. You can be a bit unclear sometimes.”

Aurora crossed her arms.

“Is this about the middle child thing? I'm sorry I wrote that shit but it wasn't meant for anyone to hear it.”

“More than your new boyfriend.”

“He wasn't even my boyfriend then!” Aurora raised her voice and he lowered his shoulders to make himself smaller. He knew that the few times she raised her voice was because she felt an unbalance in power between them and him, making himself shorter was a way to make them more balanced. He sighed and looked at her with big puppy eyes.

“What about my stuttering? It's not that much… I hardly do it anymore.”

Aurora smiled comfortingly and carefully walked up to him.

“I love your stuttering, okay? I think it's cute.” She laid a hand on his sternum and looked up at him. He still looked at her with puppy eyes. He was hurt but he also loved the attention so the puppy eyes remained.

“But I hardly do it nowadays…”

Aurora smiled a little and kissed his collarbone, the place she could reach. She didn't say anything because he still stuttered and he probably wasn't conscious of it all the time. He was too used to it, but she loved it. Sometimes she wondered if that “flaw” had made him into the man he was. Such a soft, sweet man. The stutter suited him.

“Should we go to bed?” Said Aurora with a low voice when Bill had laid his arms around her.

“Yeah… And hope this bullshit ends soon…” he whispered and dragged his hands down to her bum.

Even if everything sucked and he still thought about Aurora’s song he still had eyes and could see how sexy his wife looked in the little lacy fabrics she wore.

×××

She cheated on Timmy, Bill cheated with her best friend and his co-star… The perfect facade was really just a facade…

He let their trainer feel her up! What the fuck is wrong with this dude?!

Our Lou :( She's completely destroyed by this guy. We should have known when she lost weight and started to look so old and ugly.

Page Six had dropped even more things about them and Aurora couldn't stop looking at all the comments. There were so many. So, so many and they all had strong opinions or even new accusations without any truth. The problem with Page Six’s article was that it was lies but based on truth. They knew about Roxy, Sheilo, about the trainer, Dennis.

She laid in bed with anxiousness and pregnancy hormones so wild she didn't have energy for anything else.

Bill on the other hand became restless by his anxiety but his anxiety was different from Aurora's. He thought about the rumors too but he could also hear Aurora sing in his head, about him from time to time. He could feel his stutter like a physical thing in his mouth. Like a spiked ball that bobbed between his throat and mouth and it felt like he couldn't talk at all anymore. It was silly how strongly he had reacted to the comments but they felt harsher when so much else was happening. Maybe it was his brain trying to focus on being hurt by Aurora instead of the abstract hate outside of their house’s walls.

He thought about what he had actually said about his childhood before their break up and wondered what she maybe had said to Mattias. Had she told him about that time he had been forced to care for the wound on his knee by himself? How he had been hiding it to not make his mom feel bad?

He wasn't the person to share at all. The baggage he had been carrying was so heavy until he met Aurora and he could be completely free in his feelings because she was.

How much had she told Mattias? Had she told him all of it? All his strange habits and his insecurities and then picking and choosing what to have in the lyrics?

He walked into the bedroom to her, looked at her lying on her side checking her phone. That was what she seemed to do that day. He looked at her worried but felt the wounded feelings in his chest and the ball in his mouth. It felt like he had forgotten how you talked.

Aurora looked up at him where he stood awkwardly against one of the green armchairs in the corner of the room.

“God… They write such awful things…” she said with a sigh and rubbed her anxiety filled chest.

Bill wanted to answer, talk with her but his tongue seemed to not work. He took deep breath after deep breath, scoffed and closed his eyes when he couldn't make it work.

Aurora sat up and looked at him worriedly. For a moment she wondered if he had something in his throat. Bill scoffed again but looked up in relief when Isis cried out from the nursery and he marched away to her room.

“Hey, hey baby…” he said, lifting her up. He could speak to her. There weren't any problems so he hadn't lost that ability.

Isis got quiet at once when she came up and knew she would get a fresh diaper and apricot purée. She didn't know what was happening in her parents' life. Her older sisters knew but luckily it hadn't affected them much. His middle daughter had a new best friend with almost as famous parents as her. Her not being with Algot had made things just better for her. His oldest had many friends who all saw through the gossip tabloids lies.

Bill changed diapers on Isis and put on her little Moomin soft set. He sang lowly to her, both to keep her and himself calm.

“They should see you now… World's best dad and husband…” said Aurora from the door opening and Bill looked up at her while Isis sat on his hip. “You can even sing.”

Bill looked at her for a while. He looked tired but she could also see the pain in his eyes.

“I know… This is awful…” said Aurora and moved closer to him but when she took the last step to push her body against his he backed away. She looked at him confused while Bill looked at Isis. He wanted to tell his daughter they would go down and eat a little but when her mother was close his voice didn't work again.

“Is it something? What?” Aurora said worriedly.

Bill took a deep breath and licked his lips. He needed to talk.

“I… I.. I just…” he groaned in frustration. He was eleven years old again. “It, it hurt.”

Aurora gave him an expecting look, waiting on him to say more. She believed he had seen a mean comment or something.

“The song.”

He said it shortly to not trigger the stammer.

Aurora sighed and looked away. Isis whined on Bill's hip and he gave the baby a look. She still hadn't any language at all so the whines were still important to listen to.

“Purée, yeah?” He said shortly to her and he gave Aurora a look before walking down to the kitchen with their daughter. His wife followed.

“As I said before, it was just a stupid song I wrote as therapy. I love everything about you that I mention in that song…” Aurora explained while they walked. Bill sat down Isis in her high chair and she whined even louder.

“With Mathias?” Said Bill while taking out a jar of baby food. Aurora took out some white fluffy bread and butter. She didn't think purée was enough for Isis to eat as a snack. She had eaten too little at lunch for that.

“He just recorded. And yeah, he knew how broken I was after the break up. But you know that?”

She put butter on the bread and then cut it into small pieces.

Bill had sat down with Isis and let her try to eat by herself with the spoon and encouraged her softly.

Bill took a deep breath, he hadn't even thought about the ball in his mouth which disappeared and his tongue woke up to life.

“But you didn't talk about that shit with him? My “middle child traumas”?

“Of course not! He didn't ask either. Fuck, he probably even knew I would never get over you if I talked about you all the time.”

Aurora sat down next to Isis on her other side and moved the purée to the side and started to give her pieces of the bread.

Bill looked at Aurora a short moment before smirking.

“But you never got over me anyway.”

Aurora looked at him amused then shook her head.

“No. So are we cool now? It was just a bullshit song, just proof how hung up I was on you, okay?”

Bill smiled and gave Isis her water bottle.

“Okay… And yeah, my stammer is cute.”

Aurora giggled.

“Totally!”

×××

They had a fix-it baby. Their marriage failed before it even had started.

She must have done something wrong. Bill would never do such a thing just like that. She must be such a fucking bitch.

Poor baby. Someone should save that girl.

Aurora sat and looked out over the archipelago. Her body felt heavy and sore like she had the flu but it was that way because of all the tears, anxiety, fear she had felt for a week.

Bill had decided they would pretend like nothing was going on. He continued to prepare for his next role, waved away everything that could be a question, an accusation or even friendly worry. He had decided to sweep everything under the rug, hide it away in a dark corner until it disappeared.

Bill had decided. Once again he felt he knew best and had taken a decision and Aurora just let him because she didn't have any answers anyway.

Aurora Lou loses her record deal.

How Bill Skarsgård killed Aurora Lou’s career slowly.

The headlines showed up two days after Aurora's fight with her label. Her video call with Dana.

“I don't know how we should fix this, Aurora. I know your agent believes it will blow over but this… You know what we think. Bill will be the death of your career,” Dana said with fake concern.

“This is not Bill! It's just lies!” Aurora defended even if she didn't care what Dana thought. For her it was a dead relationship, the one between her and the record label.

“Mhm. Mm. It sounds like the source is a person knowing much about you… Maybe they know more than you?”

“They don't know shit. Bill has never cheated. Neither did I on Timmy.”

“Mhm. What does Bill's team say about it all? Men can win on this sort of news."

Aurora was quiet, thinking about what to say. Bill's team seemed to just do what he wanted and Bill wanted silence. Bill believed that was the best even if she wondered if it maybe was the best for him but not for her.

“Maybe there is truth in this honey… Maybe he isn't… So pleased as you think?”

Aurora scoffed.

“Sheilo is attractive… Younger than you.”

Aurora gave Dana a tired look then she stood up and took off her velvety jacket so she stood in just a sports bra. Her belly was round and she was obviously pregnant. Already in week 17.

Dana sat quietly then she laughed nervously.

“Congratulations…”

Aurora sat down again and looked at Dana tiredly, waiting for her to say something but Dana just played with her phone. Aurora guessed they were distressed messages to her boss.

“This… This changes things…” Said Dana while pulling in her turtleneck uncomfortably.

“I know. My contract ends in just months…” Said Aurora with a pointed voice.

Dana looked at her stressed but then smirked. She understood what Aurora was doing and this time she would let Aurora win. Maybe it was a win for the label too. Aurora's career was dying.

×××

While Aurora looked out over the archipelago, Bill sat on the floor with Isis who laughed loudly while dancing and holding her dad's hand. They listened to a male singer Aurora had collaborated with once and she wondered silently if she would ever do such a collaboration again. She looked at her daughter with a smile but looked at her husband in disappointment. He saw what was happening and how her career especially was affected by it all, still he didn't even want to talk about what people were writing. She was impressed that he could disconnect from it all but she could feel the hate like it was a heavy koala around her neck. She was unemployed and no other label had yet contacted her. Bill still had his planned roles and instead of her career he talked about Isis and the new baby like she would become a stay at home mom now.

He was a man. A white, talented, attractive man. He could always rise from the ashes, even this. He didn't need to worry.

She on the other hand… She was a woman. Her prime time was over and she had mixed heritage.

She cried again, silently. Bill looked up at her but looked at their daughter again who hadn't noticed her mom's tears. He felt his chest ache but let Aurora cry. He knew it was awful but he didn't want to talk more about all that was happening. He wanted to forget that now. For two weeks it had taken over everything. It didn't need to be such a big deal. When it had calmed down they could think about fixing her career but for now they had two kids to think about, he even had three more. He couldn't stay in those feelings Aurora clearly wanted to stay in. They must continue forward.

Aurora stood up and walked away while wiping her cheeks with her finger. Bill looked at her and the pregnancy belly. He was worried she forgot the pregnancy but when he had tried to bring it up she had closed off. Their differences were remembered under that time.

×××

The next night Bill crawled close to her in bed, dragging his hand over her belly and talked about the renovation of the house they had talked about. When they talked about that Aurora seemed to forget a bit of the drama and talked enthusiastically about the new kitchen. Bill let his hand crawl inside of the big t-shirt she wore and after having dragged his hand over her belly a few times it caressed her chest. Aurora could feel him grow against the back of her thigh. He kissed her neck and didn't react when she suddenly stopped talking. She let him kiss her neck, pull off her t-shirt and move her panties to the side so he could play with her until she was wet enough for him to push in. Awkwardly he pushed down his boxers but still didn't react to her half hearted kisses and lack of interest.

Bill was just happy to finally get to come close after two weeks without sex. It was an eternity when they both were home and he let his hornyness devour him. He felt how she got wetter and wetter and saw that as proof she wanted him too.

“No, no, I can't,” Aurora said when he laid between her legs, ready to push in. Bill looked at her in disappointment and stood up on his knees.

“I think it would be nice… You need to think about something else…” he said and dragged his big hands over her thighs. Aurora just looked at him with a pointed gaze. He knew what she meant and moved away. That wasn't cool.

Aurora pulled on the t-shirt but Bill crawled down naked under the cover, still hoping she maybe would change her mind.

“I can't think about anything else… I'm unemployed, people think we're the most toxic couple, bad parents, I'm ugly and too skinny…”

Bill sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He had heard this so many times now. Couldn't they just fuck and sleep?

“Don't sigh! Don't you dare make me feel like a pain in your ass!” She said and stood up. “It's so fucking easy for you! You have your fucking jobs and even when it's you who cheat-”

“Me who cheats?” He said, confused but with some attitude.

“You get what I mean! Even if they believe you're the one cheating I'm suddenly the one everyone looks at! Like I've been a bad wife! Because you're a serious fucking actor-man while I'm just your stupid pop girlfriend!”

Her voice got louder and louder but had a harder time coming out because her voice shook with tears.

He really didn't like when they were fighting but this subject he hadn't much more to say about. They had already talked about this.

“I just wish you wanted to save me from this, instead you let me drown because that's the easiest thing for you…” she cried and sighed in resignation. Bill swallowed hard and then looked at her leaving the room. She spinned her rings around her finger again and it made him lay his hands over his face.

He hated when they fought, he hated that he was the one hurting her and he hated when he was in the wrong. He had probably not thought things through from her perspective and then just made a decision for them both. He was a pig. He had really just taken a decision over her head. Because he was the husband? Because he was older? He couldn't say what had made him feel he had the right to that. Maybe he still hadn't gotten used to being with a woman with her own career?

Bill wanted to hit himself for his behavior but settled with dragging in his hair hard and biting his hand as hard he could muster. He really should be ashamed and he was. He had said so many times he would do anything for her, he had said that to both her and others it was time for him to do that.

He needed to stop this. He needed to make his pregnant wife happy again.

He needed to find the person who had talked with Page Six, save Aurora's career and for the first time ever tell his truth to the media.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #love just happens #lou

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bil-daddy · 4 months

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Mr. Dad, I’m about to drop out of grad school. It was my dream school, perfectly dark academia and artsy and English. I’m tremendously privileged to have even had the option to go abroad for this program, with the money my parents set aside for my studies, and I’m tremendously privileged to be able to leave this program and have the financial support to keep me going until I find a simple, entry-level job back home. A number of reasons have put me in this situation, my mental and physical health being the main contenders. I feel good about my decision, which quite a feat for someone like me, who has acquired a bad habit over the years to over-question their emotions and logic.

However my parents are taking it hard. They’ve assured me that they’ll support me whatever I decide, but the conversations we’ve been having over the last two weeks make it feel like that’s not the case. I understand their perspective (and have consequently goaded myself to doubt mine often enough). They see this as a wonderful opportunity that I’m walking away from. They feel like the funds they set aside for my education are going to waste. They’re worried I’m going to deeply regret not seeing the last nine months through (granted, it’s only a year long program).

I’m lucky that I have parents who value my education as much as they do and who have helped me so much to get to this point. But now that I’m about to turn in my final essays for the first term, now I’ve put in my first three months, I realize I can’t do this. I just can’t.

I was hoping, being such a midwife and cobbler as you are, you might have a nugget or two of insight to offer this poor, confused fool who has never been courageous enough to disappoint their parents until now, and is really wondering if it’s actually worth all the trouble.

Hey, kid (human, age neutral). Sounds like you're really going through it right now. But with everything you're going through right now, let's take guilt out of it because you have nothing to feel guilty for.

Your health--physical and mental--come first, and if your body is telling you to take a break from school, you're doing the right thing by listening. And it seems you know that, since you feel good about your decision. Hold onto that feeling. Don't let your parents or anyone else change your mind. You know what's best for yourself.

Your parents are upset because they're not experiencing the health and other issues you were going through, so they don't fully understand what led you to make the decision to drop out. And because you were abroad, they weren't even witnessing your struggles either. When you get home and live with them for awhile, they may come to realize that you were not exaggerating your issues and start to understand why you had to leave grad school.

Or they may not. Really depends on what kind of people your parents are. But if they're telling you they will support you whatever you decide, I think they're the kind that will. So take their words at face value and let them support you, while you figure out what your next step is.

Your parents think you will regret not finishing the last nine months of the program, but maybe they should think about it the other way around. It's not like you completed nine months of a twelve-month program, then dropped out three months before graduation.

You left only three months in, which is just a fourth of the program. If this were a job, that would be the probationary period. The time in which you figure out if it's truly right for you or not. And you figured out it wasn't, and got out early before any more time or money was 'wasted.' (Learning experiences are never actually wasted--you learned something from your classes and you learned that this wasn't the right program for you right now.)

Your parents probably have money left over for you to go back to grad school in the future if you feel up to it one day. And I bet you could even get at least some of the credits from your grad program to transfer to another program. The door on grad school isn't closed forever. But it's also fine if you do decide it's not for you and want to take another path.

If this is the first time you've ever had the courage to disappoint your parents, then I think you'll probably be pleasantly surprised and relieved when the result is not as bad in real life as you built it up to be in your head. That might be the most shocking part, actually. Realizing they still love you, even when you don't do everything according to their plan for your life. Realizing it isn't as big of a deal as you imagined it would be. Realizing it's going to be okay.

And it's going to be okay, kid. It really is. I know it's scary right now, but it's going to be okay.

Have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers (eventually)#life advice from bildaddy (results may vary)#shuhite sunday #bildad the shuhite #bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #have an ox rib (platonic)#oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #oh bildad we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #bildad the shuite #bildad the shuhite army #shutanic temple #bildaddy answers #bilday

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khaire-traveler · 3 months

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Hello!

I apologise if this is a bit of a silly ask, but I’m feeling a bit worried and I wondered if you could provide some insight, since you seem quite familiar with Hermes!

Last night, one of my aunt’s rabbits sadly passed away. I wanted to do something to help, but I couldn’t do anything in person due to being unwell; I could only think to pray to a God for help, and Hermes was the only deity that came to mind.

I reached out to Hermes to ask if he might be able to look out for my aunt during her time of grief, and perhaps offer her some comfort if possible, as her bunnies got her through a lot in her life and she is devastated. I left an offering of fresh water as a “thank-you in advance”. However, I felt like my prayer fell on deaf ears, and like I did something inappropriate or overstepped.

I don’t actively worship the Gods anymore due to poor mental health, I only reach out to them occasionally to ask for help, and give offerings as thanks when I can (saying that out loud makes me feel kind of bad, actually).

I haven’t worried about this sort of thing for some time, so I feel a bit silly.. I’m just nervous that I may have messed up, and I’m hoping that I didn’t because I’d like to get to know Hermes better, and I’d hate it if I ruined any future opportunity.

- Lio

Hey, Lio, thank you for the ask. I'm so sorry for your aunt's loss. I wish her peace during this time. 🫂

How you're feeling isn't silly at all and is something I see often when someone is unable to worship the gods more directly. It's something I've experienced myself. It may be some form of religious trauma or something that causes the feelings, but I'm no expert on the topic. Just know that these feelings are common, and you are not alone in experiencing anxiety after giving offerings and asking for help.

In my opinion, I don't see anything that would upset Hermes. I'm not Hermes, so I can't really speak for him, but from my experience, I doubt any of those things actually upset him. He is a great deity to ask for help from in times of grief as well as to ask aid from in guiding a soul to the underworld. I have asked him for help in similar situations, even without giving an offering straight away, and he was receptive. I don't think he'd be mad at you for this, but if it's something you're extremely concerned about, I'd recommend asking him directly about the situation, maybe through divination or asking him to send you a sign or dream. From my perspective, though, I think everything's ok. 🧡

You may be feeling it fell on deaf ears because you might be feeling a bit disconnected from your spirituality and/or worship right now. I know whenever I've taken a step away from religion, it can be difficult to pray during those times because I feel extremely disconnected from deities and have a more difficult time sensing their energy and the like. Maybe you're in a similar situation where it's been a while since you've called upon a deity, so you're a bit "out of practice", in a sense, when it comes to sensing energy. This is just a suggestion for what you're experiencing, however; it's perfectly ok if you disagree or believe that something else is the cause. Just know deity disconnect is normal and happens to people all the time. I've had moments where I'm genuinely unable to tell if a deity can even hear my prayers only to later find out that they definitely did. Please know that feeling disconnected doesn't mean they aren't there or listening. It will be ok. 🫂

Hope this response helped! I obviously can't speak for Hermes himself, so all of this is just based on my experiences and opinions. I hope it was reassuring, though. It might help to focus on grounding yourself for the time being, then approach the situation when you're feeling a bit more clear-minded if you can. I think everything's ok, and your feelings are not silly at all. Take care, and have a great day/night. 🧡

#asks #answered asks

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the-void-writes · 1 month

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Kevin!! (sorry if this is a lot lol)

🩹💯🔺🌈🎄🐷🍃🍎❤️💔💙💜🤔

IT’S NOT A LOT, DON’T WORRY 🥹💖 THANK YOU AGAIN

Some images of Kevin. Credit to Naylissah and Wervty for the picrews.

TW for mentions of child abuse under the cut (it’s not described in detail)

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

Kevin’s eyesight is incredibly poor ever since his mother’s abuse. His eyes are permanently scarred and damaged, though Vesely’s doctors have tried their best to fix it. He has to wear protective goggles and glasses because bright lights give him aggressive headaches.

💯 Share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Kevin jokingly flirts with his friends, but he also has a small crush on Will that he won’t act on because he knows that boy is shy to affection and already likes someone else.

The reason Kevin dyes the tips of his hair hot pink is so he doesn’t look at himself in the mirror and see his mother.

He drinks a ton of coffee, mostly iced, because he has insomnia from his fear of waking up in his old house.

🔺 Does your oc know how to use any weapons?

He mostly uses his own momentum to fight. Rio teaches him how to use his arms as a whip.

🌈 What is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? What pronouns do they use?

Kevin is proudly pansexual and makes sure that everyone knows he isn’t picky. He uses “he/him” pronouns, but he doesn’t mind being called “they/them” either.

🎄 What is your oc's favorite holiday?

Christmas, for the music and the food, and because he gets to decorate his friends’ dorm and make it feel like a home. He never realized that kids got gifts on Christmas until he started staying with his friends, and now he’s excited to give things.

🐷 What is your oc's favorite animal?

It’s pigs, specifically teacup pigs. Riley always asks Kevin how someone as “flashy and fabulous” as him could love such a messy animal, and Kevin gets so offended.

Long ago, I actually gave him a pet pig. He called it Ham Solo.

🍃 What is/was your oc's favorite subject in school?

Kevin’s favorite class was an elective drama course he had for a year. He loves performing for people and having their positive attention, in an art form where he’s separated by a stage and no one can run up and hurt him.

🍎 Where was your oc born? Do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? How do they feel about their birthplace?

Kevin was born in Preston, on the outskirts of the main town and suburbs. He acts like he doesn’t care about his old home, but deep down, he’s terrified of the mere idea of going back there. He wouldn’t calm down for his first few weeks of training until Jason swore to him that he wouldn’t return to his parents.

❤️ What are three of your oc's positive traits?

Kevin may act like he enjoys being the center of attention, but he’s actually more humble than people give him credit for. He makes sure his friends get their due respect during training, and even when he brags about his own training, it’s never at someone else’s expense. His loyalty to his friends is limitless.

His personal goal is to make his friends smile and laugh. Whatever they need or want, he’ll do it for them, even if it’s just making himself look like a fool.

Kevin is very patient and understanding. He’ll listen to anyone, no matter how long they take to speak or if they struggle to express themselves. He refuses to make anyone feel dumb or useless.

💔 What are three of your oc's negative traits?

Kevin tends to joke around a little too much. He won’t take certain training exercises seriously, and it ends up getting him hurt.

On that note, Kevin doesn’t care if he injured himself. He thinks he’s indestructible so he charges headfirst into a problem, and he also just has little regard for his own health because he’s been taught to feel insignificant.

Every so often, his aggressive self-loathing comes through. He’ll say the most horrible things about himself when he no longer has the energy to smile through the pain.

💙 Does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

The Freak genes that Kevin was born with basically gave his skin and bones rubber-like qualities. He can stretch and squish himself however he sees fit, like how an octopus can squeeze itself through a hole. The further out he stretches, though, the more vulnerable that area is to snapping.

💜 What is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?

Kevin is the only son of the Mallory family. His parents could barely afford their house and food. When Kevin’s powers developed, his mother punished him for it in the cruelest ways possible, nearly blinding her son as a result. His father sat idly by, not lifting a finger to help him. The neighbors were the ones to call the police, and that’s how Vesely heard about him. Jason was the one to bring him in, and he became an important parental figure to Kevin.

Eventually, Kevin gets adopted by a wealthy family, the Valentinas. They’re absolutely guilty of spoiling their new son, but he deserves it after the hell he’s been through.

🤔 What are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

When Kevin is bored, he’ll often stretch and bounce his arm like a yo-yo. If no one else is around, he’ll wrap his arms around himself in a big snake-like hug.

I’m not sure if it counts, but when he laughs at something, it’s a full-on hyena cackle. There is no quiet mode for him when it comes to jokes.

#writeblr #ask games #writeblr ask game #wip: freaks of preston

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mamabearwonders · 4 months

Text

Rant About Manager (Part 2/2)

So my other boss or general manager is- well, let's say he's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. In his case, a McSad meal because I genuinely don't understand how he's a manager. He also walked out when I got hired and now he's back??

So in my healing from c*vid/before stomach fl* era, I called out for a mental health & thrifting day on Thursday or I knew I'd quit when I got my thrifting therapy to fuel. So I already didn't wanna come in on Friday and lowkey both still sick and getting sick again.

This guy literally stands on the line all day texting. He's supposed to be covering grill. I would call back so many times well before we ran out what we were out on. I'd just get, "K." "Yeah." Then no food. When we were in a rush ALL DAY. He starts blaming me and the other person doing a 5 person job on line that "we're giving too much food out."

Listen buddy. I'm not a math expert. But one rinky dinky pan of white rice is not going to be enough for an all day out the door mad dash rush. And customers are able to get as much rice as they want- our portions are like WW2 rations so I get it.

He refuses to put signs up, refuses to communicate with guests, won't give refunds, it's a nightmare. Half the time he doesn't put cash in the drawer so no cash. He makes giving breaks seem like such a burden.

We asked him politely to grab stuff from the fridge he's right next to because we can't leave the line or there's one poor unfortunate soul at the mercy of the hungry masses up there. He refuses and just texts. End of the day, he starts complaining to my manager who was in the trenches with me about how I didn't do outs all day. She defended me.

Like OBVIOUSLY? I can't leave the line? And we asked you to help us! There's no staff here?? We even had folks who come on at my time to leave who offered to clock on early to help us. He refused, but then refused to cover me up front while he's just texting away. Why are you a manager? I'm minimum wage, idc if this sad place burns to the ground. You're supposed to care about customers and workers - ya know, the two people that bring money in for your paycheck twice the size of mine for standing around looking at the air.

I get it, I don't do much either. But you're not gonna yell at me for having no change in the drawer which isn't my job or for not outs when you won't let anyone help us including you.

But the final straw was- at long last I could see the light outside beckoning me to leave. 30 minutes after my shift, finally. As I'm making my EMPLOYEE MEAL, he asked me to clock back on to take out another section's trash. Excuse me?

He's like I'll pay you. i hope so, sir. That would be illegal otherwise. Is that supposed to be an incentive? Also 10 extra minutes is like peanuts, it won't show up. ALSO. That's not my job either? I'm happy to help out those who help me, but not to CLOCK BACK ON? The absolute disrespect. Not even a "hey I apologize for keeping you late". But while I'm making my burrito.

So I threw my gloves on the counter, pretended to be in the back and turned around to leave. It's not about the money. And this is why friends of mine and I impulsively quit jobs- because we don't like being disrespected like this. And it sucks how you have to just put up with it because sadly that's the current state of the retail and fast food job industry.

I've been looking for an escape for months. Popped back on indeed, all the same jobs I've been applied to months ago or jobs just as toxic as mine.

I'm trying to just say, oh I don't work that often, but I absolutely dread going into work. I have 1 coworker that helps a bit, but he's only there on my shift once out of the three shifts if that anymore (college for him). I can't even sleep on nights I have work.

It doesn't help it's me and one other person if that running tortilla, hot food side (so like rice), salsas side, bagging chips and salsas and doing cashier. If we had a cashier, it would help a lot instead of constantly changing gloves and changing food and washing hands to avoid cross contamiation.

Oh. And I've gotten sick TWICE from there. I wasn't exactly having the time of my life with c*vid and certainly not with the stomach fl*, but I was happy to be away from work. Now that it's happened twice especially I just don't wanna be back.

And I can't get temporary unemployment because a previous job lied about things so I can't get it. Also adulting is kind of stacking up so I might HAVE to take another day at work and mentally, physically and emotionally I can't. My health is already bad enough, I'm just trying not to push myself so hard I'm forced to quit due to health and then have no job.

Tbh if I just got transferred to the restaurant down my street instead of that one, I'd be ok for a bit longer. It's a smaller one and just down the block instead of a few stops away. But I've applied for MONTHS and they say they're hiring, but apparently aren't. I also don't know what the environment is like over there. I just need a change of pace...anything like idk. It's not doing wonders for my health at all.

It's frustrating turning around and my manager is literally out in the open just texting. Not getting change, not helping us, yelling at us for not doing his job, trying to force us to do even more work without extra pay...

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mariedreamlove · 1 year

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I know I should work on new chapters for my like three running TBP fanfictions, bug imagine this:

- it's written in Robin's pov

- it takes place after Robin's passing and the death of the Grabber, and he is watching the siblings reuinte.

- he and the other Ghostboys don't dissapear, and they decide to watch over either their families (Bruce), their pets (Billy/Paperboy), something they really enjoyed in their life (we all know it's Vance with Pinball), go see the world they never got to see because their lives were shorten (Griffin) or someone special. Robin decides to watch over Finney.

- for a moment he thinks the Grabber's mask is there, but it isn't as he begins to look back.

- times is weird when you are dead, so Robin doesn't realize when months or even years go by. He begins to see Finney often depressed in his bed or at the graveyard, sitting Infront of his grave.

- but slowly he notices (and because he is dead, he doesn't realize literally half a year or something has passed) that Finney begins to live again. He goes out, to movies, and just living. Robin knows he should be happy about it, but deep inside of him begins to tear something apart.

- he is at the graveyard as the "Grabber" appears. A chase (or literally Robin running away as the "Grabber" pleads with him to stop) begins. Robin then wants to be as brave as Finn and tries taking the Grabber down, but it isn't the Grabber. It's death.

- death can change it's appearance , and often wears the face of the last person someone saw before dying. Robin tells it more or less pissed off it should wear something else. Then it changes to Robin's dad.

-Robin realizes in his last moments, his father had to be watching over him, but doesn't want to go with death as it offers to take Robin with it. Robin says he is fine with being a ghost and not growing up anymore, as long as he can watch over Finney growing up.

- death calls him and the other boys "lost souls", "poor souls", "children that I failed" and things.

- death has let the souls of the dead kids longer on earth, because it too was angry at the Grabber, because the boys were never supposed to die. So after the Grabber died, his soul was instantly collected.

- Robin continues watching over Finney, as death begins collecting the souls of the other boys.

- Robin begins to get jealous as Finn begins to get new friends, gets in a relationship with Donna. But he still visits Robin's grave and family, but it pains him.

- Donna becomes the help Finn needs, and listens to Finney talk about his experience in the basement, how guilty he feels for surviving. And how dear Robin was to him.

- Robin grows frustrated and begins trying to go poltergeist, and even menages to throw things down.

- Donna and Finney tell Gwen this, and she has an idea of who it is. She manages to either get the black phone or a Quija board and to get in contact with Robin. (they originally fear it's the Grabber, but are pleasently surprised to have Robin responding to him)

- Finney and Robin get unhealthy attached to eachother, and it's implied Donna is pregnant (it's years in the future, but again Robin doesn't see it) to a point where Finney's mental health is so declining that he mentions not living anymore.

- death comes again, like it always comes after having collected the souls of the other boys, and says that Robin should.. give up. He has watched Finney get a family, get happy. And now his known presence is destroying that. This makes Robin realize, Finney isn't a boy anymore. He has grown into a man, has a wife and already one kid.

- Robin tells Finney, he is going with death now, but is lying. Finney at first is shattered, but because of Donna, Gwen and his family get through it all. Robin again refuses to go with death, and just watches over Finney and now his family.

- years pass, and Robin had taken care of Finney's kids and even grandkids.

- he is, in Finney's words, "the angle protecting this Family". He even has named his daughter after him,

- in a hospital, Finney is asked by a grandchild to tell the story of Robin. Finney tells it, and Robin leaves the room, because again death is coming. Death has changed its tactic of looking like the last person someone saw while dying, and instead looks like the one someone wants to see most before dying.

- Robin and death are more friends than before, but he tells death to go away because Robin still wants to look after Finney, but death tells him to turn around.

- death isn't looking like anyone Robin wanted to see, but it looks like.. Robin himself. Without blood but wearing the same things he went missing in.

- Finney is dying.

- Robin begins begging with death to let him live longer, because death has had mercy with him before, but death denies it. Finney was never supposed to die in the basement, and so were the other boys, but sometimes beings can just.. destroy plans and change things (the Grabber did this).

- Robin says he wants to take Finney with him, and death agrees.

- a absolutely tear wrecking reunion, and Finney begins looking like his younger self again, because that his when he didn't want to live anymore for a long long time. Time is fluid in death.

- Donna and Gwen whisper their goodbyes to Finney, as Robin's soul begins to get collected, Finney says his final goodbyes to his family, thanking Gwen for finding the boys, and Donna for saving him. But Finn can let go, he has trust in his family, so his soul too gets taken.

#the black phone #finney blake #robin arellano #donna tbp #finney x robin #finney x donna #death #this is inspired by music #the black phone fanfic

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