#i know i've been all about chris the last several months

[sick-sad-little-world]

🎂 Happy Birthday, Layne Staley! 🎂

#alice in chains #layne staley #i know i've been all about chris the last several months #but i still haven't forgotten about you #happy 55th birthday!! #🥰🤗💋🎂 #❤️❤️❤️ #my gifs

[skbeaumont]

"You Should Probably Leave" | Joel x Reader oneshot

Part 1 of Play it Again, a new series where each story is a oneshot, but all are shaped around country songs.

Song: You Should Probably Leave – Chris Stapleton Summary: He works long days. You help out with Sarah, make her dinner, put her to bed when he has to stay late. And then when he gets home you help him out, too, even though you both know you should probably leave. Tags/Warnings: MDNI, 18+, smut, porn without plot, prose but kind of poetry/lyrical, sexual tension, PIV, oral (m! receiving), sub!Joel, you're Sarah's babysitter, AU! No outbreak, set in the 90s. Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I've taken the lyrics and worked them into the story, so I'd really recommend listening as you read. I've been thinking about writing this series for sooo long because country songs + Joel is a match made in heaven. If you've got any song recommendations, let me know!

It’s like a dance, a well-worn routine that you both know, practised and perfected after months of repetitions. You both know where it leads but you’ll still follow all the steps. That’s how it is.

You put Sarah to bed ages ago, spent the last few hours of babysitting on the sofa finishing up some college work, waiting for Joel to get back. His key in the door is a familiar click, the latch sticking the way it always does, his shoulder forcing it open.

You stay where you are. When he comes into the lounge his toolbelt is still strapped around his waist, the remnants of a long day’s work painted across his handsome face and strewn in dust that’s collected on the knees of his well-worn jeans and callused hands.

He pauses in the entrance, arm stretched up above him to rest on the mantle of the door, t-shirt pulling up to reveal a strip of tanned skin above his belt. There’s a glass of wine half-drunk on the coffee table beside you and your feet are tucked up under you.

Neither of you speak for several long moments. You just watch each other, the tension too delicious to break.

“You should probably leave,” He says, but you make no effort to move and he stays where he is, too, dark eyes watching you.

His expression is open, taunting, and you already know what’s going to happen. You untuck your feet and shift them onto the worn carpet, standing to step towards him. His form takes up most of the doorway, his shoulders so broad that they almost touch both sides of the frame.

When you reach it he’s looming over you, blocking the exit off from you if you wanted to leave, but you don’t. You turn into him, press your nose to the slice of skin between his shoulder and neck and inhale deeply, smell the work of his day on him: the musk of sweat, the tang of iron and sharpness of wood shavings.

“I suppose it ain’t all that late,” he says, voice rumbling through his chest, “still time for you to finish your wine.”

You won’t finish the wine, but it’s all part of the well-worn routine the two of you have. He works long days. You help out with Sarah, make her dinner, put her to bed when he has to stay late.

And then when he gets home you help him out, too. Let him relieve some of the tension that he carries in his shoulders, on his thick-set jaw. You press the first kiss here, letting the rough caress of his stubble eat into your own cheek. When you let your hands course through his hair, scratching your nails into his scalp, he leans into it, eyebrows pitching up, something like a whimper falling from his lips.

There’s a devil on your shoulders, and its urging you each towards the same predetermined end.

“We shouldn’t.” He says, but he doesn’t move away.

“Just one kiss?” You ask, feeling him relax into your touch, the bulk of him slipping down the doorframe, bringing his mouth within reach of yours.

“Alright,” He rasps back, his voice pitching with need, and you claim the last syllable with your mouth, press your lips against his, pull a moan from somewhere deep in his chest.

“Say you want me to stay,” You tell him, and he does, whispers it into your mouth, chases your tongue with his.

When he looks at you his gaze so intense it’s almost intimidating, and you recognise the look in his eyes, the need that’s behind the blown-out pupils and hazy expression.

The slow retreat to his bedroom is well-practised, the carpet belying a well-trodden route you both know. He lets you walk him backwards up the stairs, sighs when you push him against the closed door to fit your mouths together again.

Inside, his bed is unmade and you press him into it, pin his hands above his head and lick a thick strip up his neck, following the tendons to the underside of his jaw.

His moans are the chorus of this well-rehearsed dance. They spur you on as you undress him, revealing the strong lines of his chest, the thick trunks of his thighs, the impressive bulge of his cock in his briefs, already half-hard.

He twitches in your hand when you draw him out and you shift down the bed to take him into your mouth, the head of him heavy and salty on your tongue. His cock swells, the vein that spans the underside pulsing against your palm.

It’s intoxicating and dizzying and familiar, the recognisable ache in your jaw as you take him into the back of your throat, fist gripping the part of him that won’t fit.

“So good to me, darlin’” He groans, running shaking fingers through your hair, trying to sit up against the headboard.

“Relax,” you tell him, pushing him back down to lie against the rumpled duvet, “I know what you need.”

You know him and he knows you, and you both know how this goes. You pull back, work your dress up over your head and pull down your panties, which are ruined with your slick, so damp they catch on your thighs as you peel them off. Joel’s eyes widen as he watches; he can never believe you want this – want him – as much as you do.

When you sink down on his length – the fat head of his cock catching at your entrance, making the stretch delicious and white-hot – he squeezes his eyes shut tight.

You run a finger along his eyebrows, coax him to open them and he does, a muscle in his jaw fluttering as you rise up and drag your cunt back down onto him again.

“I wanna do the right thing, baby,” he tells you, as though this – the pinching heat of him between your thighs, the tremble of his hands as he clutches at the flesh of your ass – isn’t the greatest thing that’s ever happened to either of you.

But you know he hates himself for it, hates that he’s a good decade older than you, that you’re Sarah’s babysitter, that this – this twisted arrangement you have where you stay when he gets back and then end up in his bed – is the only thing that gets him through those long works days sometimes.

“I know,” you say, “but it’s getting kind of hard to resist, isn’t it?”

“You should leave,” he says, thrusting up into you, “we should – Jesus, baby, just like that – we should stop.”

You arch up off the bed, tilting your hips so that he can drive his cock deeper, bottoming out and groaning brokenly into your ear. It’s filthy. Depraved, probably: The slap of his hips as he cants them up into yours, the breathy moans that tumble from your mouth, Joel’s desperate, needy curses.

It’s easy to make him come like this: Three steady, deliberate rolls of your hips and he’s a quivering mess beneath you, his hands fisting in the sheets as he spurts hot and wet inside you.

After, you tell him you should probably leave. He makes you come with his fingers first, tells you to finish your wine, that it still ain’t that late.

And when the sun’s on your skin at 6am, he’s there watching you sleep, hoping you’ll say you’ll stay, even though you should probably leave.

#joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel x reader #joel x you #the last of us fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfic #joel miller au #au! no outbreak #SoundCloud

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (11) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n sometimes people aren't the nicest (and people can be severely delusional)

masterlist | last part | part 11 | next part

TWITTER

june @linafesting · 42m you look like taylor swift

↳ june @linafesting · 41m not quite mother and daughter, more like aunt and niece ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 32m lina is hayley williams and lana del rey's lovechild and i've been say this for years ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 13m oh no... that's not...

INSTAGRAM

emptybottles_official Bangkok, Thailand

liked by chrisyamada and 298,426 others

emptybottles_official All suited up 😎 tagged: lukaszhang, eb_jonno and cameliazzz

chrisyamada who managed to wrangle kas into a suit 🤣

cami.png as much as i love cami content, no lina or aid was a... choice ↳ mrslukaszhang @cami.png right like ur not sending the frontwoman??? what's going on??? (omg kas 😳)

emptybottlesbar Looking sharp!

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 2h what are y'all up to? ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 2h we went out to dinner tgt! authentic thai food and the night markets bc only grandpa aidan knows how to speak thai <3 ↳ Aidan Park @EB_Aidan · 2h Alex gave us recommendations 😊 ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h deluding myself into thinking this is a producer-songwriter meeting

opal @pxastrixxx · 1h enough time has passed, i think we need to talk about how weird l*na is, a 🧵 ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 1h and ik ur all gonna try defend her by saying its a stage persona yada yada but it's still weird the way she interacts with guys ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 1h starting off with kas and lina, they keep insisting that they're just childhood best friends or smth but the massive shipping fandom they have just proves that ppl aren't blind and they're flirty ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 57m idk how u comfortably flirt with ur so-called 'friend' in front of thousands of ppl each night and even in front of ur boyfriend??? and she's always the one instigating it (e.g. the glove thing) it's weird, does kas have a gf bc i feel sorry for her ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 56m the whole thing with tommy howard is also childish, like its been 3 years and she's still so petty, it's giving: not over him, the whole comment on not dating athletes and then dating oscar just seems like she's trying to rile tommy up ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 54m and that's not even covering the trouble she causes her management team, i swear, the past month i've known of her existence has been her causing drama, going viral, her pr team burying it and rinse, repeat, cycle ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 49m whatever is going on between her and chris yamada is also WEIRD and it's always been weird bc she's mentioned having a celebrity crush on him and then they become friends? and then suddenly they stopped interacting in 2021? ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 43m u think that maybe he's realised smth but then he comes back to perform with them in seoul and they hang out again which is just weird weird weird bc their 'friendship' back then was also shipped ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 40m and i know i'm onto smth bc not all her male friends get shipped with her. her other male bandmates are seen as just friends bc she treats them like friends, the way she acts around kas and chris is just flirty and ppl latched onto that ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 39m and ppl are so brainwashed they think her bluntness and lack of filter is 'authentic' and funny but she's being a self-entitled bitch and her fans keep inflating her ego ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 36m and i haven't even mentioned her actions right after her final break-up with tommy like, going out to parties every week? seen with a different boy every time? making it a very public affair that then needs to be scrubbed from the internet by ur pr team? it says everything u need to know about her imo ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 32m on top of all this, we all know oscar doesn't like the media and would want to keep his relationship private and l*na's blatant disrespect and showboating feels like she's just with him for the virality, it just looks performative ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 30m i literally just want oscar to go back to his quiet life of just racing and stay away from that kinda lifestyle

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h is it just me... or did that lina post and reply not quite sound like her? ↳ june @linafesting · 1h was literally just thinking the same thing, that is not my girl ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h i thought i was being paranoid but like, when was the last time she posted??? do you think management banned her from socials?

INSTAGRAM

emptybottlesbar

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 332,293 others

emptybottlesbar Oh, hey there Jonny 👋 tagged: eb_jonno

moonbeamlina release the pic he took of admin ↳ emptybottlesbar @moonbeamlina Admin is really shy 🙈

linasgirl4 no snarky lina comment OH THEY'VE TAKEN HER ACCOUNT OFF HER 😭

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/buisms84 8 hours ago lina radio silence

does anyone else find it so weird how little promo lina is getting? like she's by far the most popular member esp since she's the FRONTWOMAN and she's been completely radio silent on socials since last weekend?

and not to discount any of the other band members ofc but everyone is noticing, like this is so not like the EB pr method?

so does anyone have any clue what's happening lol

dreamofbees · 8 hr. ago didn't she tweet a pic of her and aidan like last night? buisms84 OP · 8 hr. ago i think everyone and their dog knew that wasn't her

niaphilia283 · 7 hr. ago there's a twitter hate train rn it's causing a bit of a commotion and i think they (management) took her socials off her to prevent escalation buisms84 OP · 7 hr. ago wait, what twitter hate train? niaphilia283 · 5 hr. ago one of her boyfriend's deranged fans (user pxastrixxx) had a long ass thread basically calling lina a slut and saying she's just using him for clout but they priv'ed their acc now (i took screenshots if u wanna see)

TWITTER

EB Updates @emptybottles_news · 1h 4 years ago... Lina and Kas did a zoom interview/catch-up during the COVID-19 lockdown

↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 51m oomfie this was NOT A GOOD TIME TO POST THIS 😭 ↳ kaslina on my mind ☁️ @kaslinatruther · 22m they're in love ur honor

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

↳ emme @flowersforcami · 6h hey bestie... how you doing...? ↳ president linami @ linaminami · 6h NOT WELL 😭

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h what happened to that one oscar user who had that fuck-long thread bitching about lina? ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h i mean like i was also pretty against about her to begin with but i think anyone with eyes could figure that was a bit... right??? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 1h ppl aren't that smart and my girl is a pretty convincing actress

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h why was bangkok kinda robbed like 👀 ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h it's one thing to put ur frontwoman on a social ban but to stop her from giving it all on stage is an insult. i firmly believe that it's criminal that the band management told lina to 'tone it down' on stage bc of the online noise which straight up isn't fair for the thai fans ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 58m and she looked so miserable btw like it's the only thing you can notice in the tour videos, she's pissed off and she's trying so hard not to let it bleed into her performance

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 31m hot take: people have always been weird about lina's dating life and it's gone far beyond anything reasonable ↳ liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 27m nobody take this the wrong way! i love her and oscar together, they seem really happy and enjoy spending time together, from what i can see they both put in effort to see each other (which is esp difficult with their jobs) but we need to leave them ALONE. she likes privacy and oscar is a very textbook introvert. those bitches do NOT want you prying into their lives, trust me on this

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h the lack of individual content from both lina and oscar is convincing me those two are shacked up somewhere, trust 🙏 (i'm delusional) ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h YES IK LINA IS IN BANGKOK AND OSCAR IS IN MIAMI, THIS WAS A JOKE

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

[hispg]

Scared to be lonely

Pairings: Vendetta Leon × reader

Wc: 4.1k

Warnings: Cursing, light angst, a bit of fluff(I guess), mentions of alcoholism, it's also mentioned that Leon and the reader are friends with benefits.

Summary: Your close friend Leon, it's passing for some personal issues. And you're the only one who can try to solve it.

Notes: I'll admit, I was hearing 'Die for you' while writing this.

"So you're telling me he hasn't shown any sign of life for three weeks?" And well, there you were, talking to Rebecca about Leon, who had magically decided to disappear.

Rebecca sighed before continuing, "Yes, Chris has tried calling him several times. He's even been to his apartment, but Leon hasn't even opened the door or answered his calls."

You wrinkle your eyebrows. What the hell was he thinking? It's not as if he could just suddenly disappear.

"So nothing? No sign?" Although you were focused on the conversation, from time to time, you focused on Rebecca, who was painfully tending to your bruises.

"No. Not even his neighbors have seen him leave the house in the last three weeks." And again, you're puzzled. Would he still be living in the same place?

"Maybe he's moved, hasn't he?" But in the end you knew that Rebecca was thinking the same thing as you, Leon had his problems with alcohol, and coupled with the fact that he'd been out of sight for the last three weeks, it didn't make you both think anything good of the situation.

"No, we've checked everything. He's even paid the bills for the apartment this month." So, in fact, he was doing it on purpose.

You just shook your head in understanding, but you knew it wouldn't be an easy task to talk to that hard-head, who seemed to be as hard-headed as a mule.

"But you know I haven't had any contact with him for a while, not least because I've just come back from a long mission." And in fact, you were still in your shabby, dirty clothes. You hadn't even had time to shower since you arrived.

"Yeah, I know. But you're still closer to him than Chris, so we thought it would be better if you tried to talk to him. You know he's going through a difficult time right now." And it wasn't hard to see the concern written in Rebecca's voice.

"Yeah. I'll see what I can do for him." You said it nonchalantly. After all, it would be a hell of a conversation with Leon, you could be sure.

At least you had the advantage of being a close friend of his, even more than a friend. Surely friends don't kiss or spend the night together like you did, right?

But again, you knew it wouldn't be easy to talk to him. So you were already mentally preparing yourself because damn it, you were going to need a lot of patience.

After a few conversations with Rebecca, you showered and went out, ready to meet him. You already knew his address by heart, and you couldn't tell if that was good or bad.

After about twenty minutes of driving to his apartment, you quickly found yourself in the elevator to the sixth floor, seriously wondering if you really wanted to do this.

And although the functional part of your brain said no, you couldn't ignore the worry stagnating in your chest, whether you wanted to or not, you had a great affection for him.

Despite the mental argument with yourself, you got out of the elevator and went to his apartment, 208 was the number.

And once again, you stopped, scratching the back of your head, hesitantly raising your hand to knock on the door. After a good few seconds, you decided to knock, regretting it later for no reason.

And so it went, you knocked once, twice, three times. Nothing, no answer, not even the slightest noise showing that there was someone inside.

And your distress increased. You could feel your heart racing at the fact that he hadn't answered. He hadn't even been grumbling on the other side, as he usually did.

And you knocked on the door for the fourth time, calling him now, "Leon, are you there? It's me -" You stop the sentence as soon as the door opens a little because of the force with which you knocked.

You mutter a 'what?' To yourself, how could he have been so careless to leave the door unlocked like that? What the hell was happening to him?

You open the door fully, seeing that the key is still in the lock from the inside, which once again leaves you with a flea behind your ear.

Was he crazy or what? He was an agent, he'd been involved with a lot of dangerous people, and now he just decided to leave his door open for anyone to enter his house.

What a genius, you think.

Just in case, you grabbed the gun you always carried with you, just to make sure no one had broken into the apartment.

And you started walking around, seeing With the deplorable state of things, bottles and bottles of drinks, cup noodles here and there, there was no doubt that Leon had locked himself in this apartment for the last few days.

After searching the place, there was nothing suspicious, and the only thing missing was the bedroom, where Leon might have been, at least that's what you hoped.

You even knocked on the door to see if he would answer, but no, once again, he didn't say anything. So you entered the room, only to see Leon sleeping peacefully. As if he hadn't done anything wrong lately.

You let out a sigh of relief and even anger. But in the end, there he was, just in his boxers, layin on his stomach and with one of his arms under his head, resting snugly on the soft bedspread.

As much as you wanted to go over there and punch him, you couldn't help but be swayed by the sight of him sleeping so peacefully. And you could even join him, but that's not what you came here to do.

Coming closer, you see the many bottles of alcohol on the table next to the bed, which makes you wonder how a human being can drink so much and still want more.

You sit down next to him, brushing some of his hair out of his face and lightly patting his cheeks. He was a heavy sleeper, so no, he certainly wouldn't wake up if you just called him, especially after he'd had his fill, he grumbled like an old man every time he had a hangover.

And with a few more pats, he seemed to wake up, looking around, trying to get his bearings. Soon, his eyes were on you as he rubbed them, possibly thinking he was seeing things.

"Well? Are you awake, or do I need to get you into the shower? A cold shower should do the trick." You say it seriously. After all, you came here to talk to him. And he needed to be sober for that.

"Mh... shut up." Ah, there it was, the first words he says to you.

Well, you don't know why you expected it to be any different.

"How do you feel?" You ignore his ignorance and try to lighten the mood.

He just mumbles, 'Hm', and turns away. Turning his back on you.

You snort and roll your eyes, looking like you're dealing with a child.

"So, smartass, why'd you disappear?" Without turning much, you ask him

"Because I was into it, can I? Or do I have to ask permission?" Rude, that's how he was acting.

You sigh, well, who said it would be easy?

"Leon, I'm here in peace. You know, I was worried about you." Your voice comes out in a whisper. You were trying your best to stay calm.

And in response he sits up in bed, stretching a little, yawning in the process.

"I'm fine, don't you see?" He gives a cynical little smile, picking up one of the bottles of alcohol from the table next to his bed.

And you notice the dark circles under his eyes, the sad, tired expression, even though he still has that stoic look on his face.

"No, that's enough." You grab his arm, stopping him from picking up the bottle.

His eyes widen in indignation, and he reaches for the bottle anyway.

"What? Have you become my mother now?" He sneers, taking your hand off his arm.

"Look, to be honest, I think I should act like one. Because I'm genuinely dealing with a tantruming child." You say, your voice angry and cynical. Just the way he hated it.

"Tantrum child? You were calling me love a month ago." And no, he didn't sound hurt. He just wanted to annoy you.

You roll your eyes again, holding him by the shoulders this time, making him look at you, "Kennedy, you're going to get out of this damn bed, and we're both going to talk. Understand? Go take a cold shower. Maybe your brain will start working again." You tease him, still staring deep into his eyes.

And even though he tried, he couldn't hide a sideways smile, which disappeared soon after. He could have said no, but he liked your teasing, even though it sometimes annoyed him.

"Yeah, whatever." He mutters, getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom. And you can still see him staggering around, probably because of the hangover he was feeling.

And with that, you decided to gather up all those bottles and start throwing all the liquid away, for however long that would take. Because frankly, you didn't understand how he could buy all that and just drink it without getting sick afterward.

And little by little, you emptied the bottles, putting them all in a bag to throw away later.

"That was expensive, you know." Leon's voice echoes through the kitchen as he sits on one of the stools at the worktop.

"And?" You shrug, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

And now he seemed calmer, at least calmer, if you could put it that way. The wet hair and the baggy clothes, which, by the way, looked great on him.

"Would you like some coffee? I'm sure it'll help with the hangover." He just nodded without saying much. He was fixated on his cell phone.

You continued silently making the coffee, and sometimes, you caught him watching you.

"Chris sent you here?" He finally says something, although he seems completely uninterested in the subject.

"Yes, he did, but I wanted to come here of my own accord too. You know I care."

It's silence again, only a slight sneer coming from his lips. Which you just decided to ignore.

"Here, take this." You hand him the cup of coffee, taking a seat next to him.

He thanks you silently, taking a small sip of the coffee. You just kept looking at him, hoping that he would try to talk. That was the least of it

And well, to your confirmation, he didn't say a word.

And you could see that he was avoiding your gaze, just holding his cup with both hands, staring straight ahead, without any focus.

"Can you start explaining? You just ghosted everyone." You break the silence, not wanting to prolong it any further.

He shrugs and takes a long sip of coffee.

You hold him by the face, although it's a gentle touch, it has a certain firmness to it, "Leon, I won't guess if you don't talk."

Those blue eyes stare at you, and he has a somewhat surprised expression as you take this action, holding him by the chin to make sure he looks at you.

"You really are a pain in the ass, aren't you?" And again, the cynical, sarcastic tone took over his voice.

And you were starting to lose your composure, your eyes narrowing in his direction. And you gripped his chin a little tighter.

"Kennedy, I'm not here to play games. So help me, tell me what the hell is going on?" Your voice was harsh, even scathing. You didn't want to talk to him like that, but you had no choice, not even if you wanted to. Since good old-fashioned talking wouldn't work. He needed a little push to talk.

"Why are you so interested in this? Jeez, is it so hard to understand?" And he gave you the same answer as hard as you were.

You let go of his chin, running your hands through your hair and leaning on the chair.

"For God's sake, what's going on? First you start ignoring me, since last month. Now you just ignore everyone?" You retort. He had no right to do that. He was playing games with those who cared about him, and that wasn't fair.

He turned completely towards you, his eyes piercing you.

"I'm tired, tired of this fucking life. That's it. Satisfied?" He forces a smile, picks up his coffee cup and takes another sip, turning the cup over and taking it all in one go. A habit he was used to.

"Don't you want to talk? You know, sometimes it helps." You snapped, and that wasn't it? What could be better than trying to open up, at least?

"You don't understand." He turns again, putting his hands on his head, resting his elbows on the worktop.

You sigh, it hurt to see him in that situation, and of course Leon didn't have an easy life, no, this man had suffered since he was little.

You could understand him wanting to take it all out on alcohol, especially with all the recent losses he was experiencing. But it's not as if getting drunk every time was going to help in any way, quite the opposite.

You put your hand on his shoulder, giving him a little cuddle, "I know it's hard for you, but you can't just shut everyone out. You can't isolate yourself and act as if nothing is going on outside."

No answer, just a heavy sigh from his lips.

You massage his shoulder, in an attempt to make him less tense.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I know it's hard, especially for you, such a gentle soul. But that's not the answer. I assure you." Your voice sounded different now, soft and gentle. You were trying your best to understand him.

And although you still felt his body tense up, he seemed to feel a little more at ease around you.

"Do you really care?" He whispers, embarrassed by his own words.

You laughed lightly, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "You know that yes, what happened between us wasn't just sexual, at least on my part."

You were being honest, and a little piece of you wanted to hear the same from him, and again you didn't know if you wanted to hear it or not.

And well, once again there was an uncomfortable silence, nothing but the two of you breathing. And for a moment, you felt a slight twinge in your heart, as if that silence had hurt you somehow.

You moved away, returning to sit next to him.

And he hadn't changed his stoic face much, even though you could see that he was looking at you in corners.

This time you didn't dare to speak, you kept playing with the zipper of your sweatshirt, a silly way of relieving your anxiety.

"Why did you kick me last month?" Without meaning to, the words slipped out of your mouth. Now there was no taking it back.

He turned his head slightly towards you, his eyes roaming over your face. His expression had softened a little, but he still wasn't 100% himself.

He sighs, you can even see him hesitate to speak, he tries to take your hand. But he stops halfway.

After a good few minutes of frustration, he replies, "I was scared..."

You look at him confused and puzzled, "Scared? Your nightmares are back?"

Since he had always had this problem with nightmares, after so much stress, it was normal for him to lose sleep again during the night because of it.

He shook his head at the same time, denying it.

"So?" You ask him once again.

He took a breath and looked straight ahead again. The words came out as a sweet whisper, "I-I was scared..." He took another breath, "Scared that i might miss you.."

Despite the lump in his throat, he got it out of his heart. And you could see him trembling a little as he held the cup.

And you could already consider it a confession because it was.

You were speechless, as if you had unlearned how to speak even a single vowel. Your eyes met his, and you could have sworn that a slight blush threatened to appear on his cheeks.

"So you were afraid you'd miss me, but at the first opportunity, you kicked my ass? That doesn't make much sense." You try to make a joke to seem less nervous, which frankly you doubt worked.

He laughed dryly, looking down at his cup for no reason.

"I was afraid of getting too attached. Every time you walked out of that door after a night together. Something didn't seem right. It wasn't right when you left like that." He felt more comfortable, so he was putting those feelings out there.

"I always thought that... Well, that you wanted me to leave. You never said otherwise." You say awkwardly, searching for the right words.

"No, of course not." He says with a half-smile, "You're the closest person I have, whether as a friend or whatever. But you're still the closest person to me."

And the words hit you hard. You felt your heart flutter with them. In a way that had never happened before.

"So you were afraid, and ended up sending me away?" It was already clear to you, but you wanted to be sure.

He nodded, too embarrassed to continue for now.

You drummed your fingers on your thigh, nervously inspecting around. How were you supposed to answer that?

And he seemed nervous too, both of you looking like teenagers who were still at school. It was even comical.

"Do you remember our last mission?" He said quietly, making sure that only you could hear. Even if it was just the two of you in that apartment.

"Yes, yes, I remember." You said a little hesitantly, looking at him to see where this was going.

He swallowed, gripping his cup tighter, "That's when I realized I could do anything for you. I wanted to do everything."

He looked at you deeply, and you could feel the tenderness in his eyes, "I could die for you, I would die for you if i needed to."

It was enough to make you gape, your eyes staring into his gently. Now you understand why he had drifted so far away since our last mission. It now made a lot of sense.

"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it?" He says in a dry chuckle, feeling completely silly for saying such a thing.

"What? You say you could die for me, and you still think it's cheesy?" You mutter with a certain amusement in your voice.

He couldn't help but let out a soft giggle, shaking his head. He didn't know who was more cheesy, you or him.

"I realized I could do anything for you. Lie, die, cheat. Anything just to keep you by my side." So he was willing to go against his nature, just for you.

Just for you.

"So you're telling me what I'm thinking?" And you didn't even bother to hide the hope evident in your voice.

He nodded silently, giving you a small smile.

"I wanted to be honest with you... At least this once." And from the way he sounded so faint, you wouldn't have doubted it even if you'd wanted to.

You nodded, your smile growing wider and wider. You gently rested your hand on his thigh, just to comfort him, so that he could feel more at ease.

And in response, he placed his hand on yours. Stroking it with his thumb.

"I didn't know how to bring this to you. I thought that like the others you would abandon me." He sounded pained as he spoke.

And you understood him perfectly, "Leon, it's not because some people have hurt you that all the others will do the same." Even though it was obvious, you felt you had to remind him of it.

"Apart from me, you also have your friends. Chris for example, he was just as worried as I was." You say sweetly.

He squeezed your hand tighter, as if he was afraid you were going to leave at any moment.

"I know, sometimes it's just hard to believe." He murmurs quietly, without looking at you.

You nodded, and of course he would have trust issues, how could he not?

"So... I can help you with that." You say happily.

He wrinkles his eyebrows, looking at you a little sulkily, "How?"

"Hm, how about we lie on the couch? Watch a movie together. What do you say?" And you couldn't help yourself, you sounded as excited as a child.

"Oh? Are you serious?" His face lit up, and you could see a hint of a smile.

"Of course I am! Come on, I know you've been wanting to watch that fictional movie that came out recently." You pull him gently by the hand, hoping he'll get up and follow you.

And so he did, smiling from corner to corner, just as excited as you were.

A good few minutes later, there you were, cuddling on the couch, watching the movie and chatting a bit. The tense atmosphere was gone, it was just the two of you, chatting quietly. Just as it should be.

"I didn't want to say it like that, but I can't deny it anymore." He whispers in your ear, changing the subject completely.

You just mumble a 'Hm?', waiting for the answer.

"I can't deny it any longer, I love you. I can no longer neglect this growing feeling in my chest." He placed a soft kiss on your ear, pulling you closer to him.

You giggled, letting him fondle you as much as he wanted.

"Yeah, I know you can't resist me." You teased him, with mischief in your voice.

And he laughed, he really did. It was a start, at least.

"You little tease." He whispers again, teasing you back.

It was good to be here with him, since at least you were close to him now, he was allowing you to get closer. And you won't let him down, you'll do everything you can to help him, to make him trust, and understand that there were also people who helped him, who were there for him.

He was allowing you to get closer. And you won't let him down, you'll do everything you can to help him, to make him trust, and understand that there were also people who helped him, who were there for him.

"First of all, I want you to promise me something." And that seemed to capture his attention completely.

"What?"

"That you open up more, I don't want any more secrets between us. Done?" You raise your little finger to make a pinky promise.

And when he heard 'us' coming from your lips, only God knows how much he melted.

"Oh, come on! Are you a five-year-old to want to make a pinky promise?" he says playfully, holding your hand.

"Yes, I am. Now go on, promise." You turn your head a little, just enough to look him in the eye.

With a slight sigh, he nods, "Right, right. You have my word."

He seals his pinky fingers with yours, making the promise.

You smiled in satisfaction, giving him a brief kiss.

He held you tighter, putting his head in the crook of your neck. Relaxing completely.

And you spent a few more hours in this situation, not that you minded. Leon had opened up a bit more, and you patiently listened to him. It would be a long journey, for sure. But it would be worth it, just to see that smile again, to see those sparkling blue eyes shining, again and again.

That would be the fairest reward you could ask for, everything else would be a bonus.

And of course, Leon would also try his best to overcome these problems, even though he knew it wouldn't be easy. But he had to, and he knew it. He wasn't going to let the people around him down, least of all you.

He would make it count, just as you would be by his side throughout the process.

And he also wouldn't let you walk away. He's sure that he's the right for you.

After the movie ended, the two of you were still hugging, caressing each other. It was already late, so you wouldn't be going home.

Besides, you could already feel Leon starting to doze off.

Before he did, he said quietly, "Well, dinner tomorrow?" He even asked shyly, as if for the first time.

You chuckled and then said, "Yes, dinner tomorrow."

#leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy #leon x y/n #leon resident evil #leon vendetta #Spotify

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Buddie Endgame!

Before 7x5 aired, I decided to take a break from 911blr and Buddieblr since the BTS pics and the "supposed leaks" for 7x5 showed they were about to do another wash, rinse and repeat with both Buck and Eddie. Their storylines have been seen before and at this point, they've become predictable. Anyway, I'm glad I took several days off because I figured most of the people who watched it would see Buck on a date with T*mmy and it would prompt them to start "Jumping ship" (Eddie’s words from 7x4) even though the whole situation was rushed and there's no substance there. If people did jump ship, they have every right to do so but just in case they're new here and they haven't watched all of Buck's train wreck relationships starting in season 1, the facts are Buck is making the same mistakes he's made in the past even though in 6x1, he said he didn't want to do that anymore.

Here's the thing... I'm not trying to convince anyone about who they should and shouldn't ship because everyone has their own preferences. However, I do think it's interesting how some are choosing to forget or just don't want to acknowledge/admit the fact that T*mmy did the same thing to Buck that both Taylor and Natalia did but it didn't take him multiple episodes to do it either.

Here are the cycles...

WASH: He showed up to the loft UNANNOUNCED.

RINSE: He kissed him.

REPEAT: And then he left him standing there dazed just like they did.

BONUS SPIN CYCLE: He told Buck to "Take care of yourself" (he just said it before he showed up unannounced and he said it while they were at Air Rescue when he was trying to date Eddie 👀).

Therefore, it appears the only difference between T*mmy and Taylor and Natalia is, T*mmy's a man which seems to be the only reason why some are willing to look past his bad character traits (discussed here) based solely on that fact. He's just like Buck's previous relationships where it starts off with Buck being kissed like he's in some kind of fairy tale or some BS and then it follows the same pattern as before (as indicated above).

I'm not going to go into the Buck and T*mmy of it all or lack thereof any further because this post is about Buddie and only Buddie!

I've witnessed the REAL LOVE Buck and Eddie share and it's the reason why I have and always will ONLY ship them with each other. They've built a family together and the fact is they know each other inside and out. They don't have to pretend and they know how to take care of the other one. They agreed to have each other's backs years ago and they've continued to do it. Chris views Buck as his second dad and he was doing it way before Eddie updated his will and named Buck to be Chris' legal guardian. Chris called Buck when Eddie was having a mental breakdown and it's obvious he could have called 9-1-1 but he didn't. Reminder, Buck and Eddie are both first responders so he could have called emergency services but he called his other dad, the man who told him months before Eddie was shot that he's not going anywhere 👀.

Buck has cried, screamed and clawed at the ground while trying to dig through 50 feet of wet earth to get to Eddie. He's also crawled underneath a ladder truck (one of the things that tried to take his leg) to save Eddie after Eddie was shot by a sniper in front of him. Eddie’s blood splattered all over Buck’s face and he was in a CATATONIC state of shock until Capitan Mehta tackled him to the ground.

Eddie was the one bleeding out but he was conscious enough to ask Buck "Are you hurt?" before he went unconscious for the last time from the pain of being shot with a large caliber bullet. Eddie climbed up a 70 foot ladder while it was extended in the air without being harnessed in to get to Buck after he was STRUCK BY THE SAME BOLT OF LIGHTNING AND WAS CATAPULTED OFF THE BASE OF THE LADDER to get to him. He was the one who restarted Buck’s heart after Chimney had been doing chest compressions on him for 3 minutes. Trust, that last 17 seconds was ALL EDDIE DIAZ! Eddie took Buck to play poker to help him keep his mind off the fact that he died so he could relax and have a good time.

THAT'S LOVE!

Buck’s own definition of love describes EDDIE DIAZ and only Eddie Diaz! Therefore, it's ridiculous that people are literally trying to dismiss Eddie’s love for Buck just because some dude with a sorted past (with Buck’s found family. Hello Taylor Kelly anyone?) put his lips on Buck and kissed him the same way all the women Buck’s been with did.

Buck and Eddie are IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER and they're each other's ENDGAME!

The point of this post is people can ship whoever they want but I HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL SHIP BUDDIE because they share a once in a lifetime, love of their lives, soulmate type of love that transcends space and time.

I'LL NEVER SETTLE FOR A KNOCKOFF VERSION OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. WHY? BECAUSE FOR ME ANY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS they've had or will have with others resembles a cheap piece of costume jewelry that looks ok from far away until you get up close and realize it's a cheap imitation of the real thing.

Why would I settle for Buck to end up with a KNOCKOFF version of Eddie?

I won't!

And why would I settle for Eddie to end up with some babysitter who's more in love with her brother when Buck’s already been shown to be another one of Chris' parents?

I won't!

Buck and Eddie DESERVE THE REAL EPIC LOVE STORY that 9-1-1 has been showing and telling the audience about them for the last 6 years and no other love interests have or ever will compare to what they mean to each other.

Ship whoever you want but I only ship BUDDIE and I always will.

#I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE! #BUCK AND EDDIE FOREVER! #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 abc #911 on abc #911 season 7 #911 season 7 speculation #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #anti eddiemarisol #anti marisol #911 #Ryan Guzman and Oliver Stark are the captains of this ship. #OTP BUDDIE #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks

[evankinard]

okay I promised my full deranged buddie s7 spec so walk with me here

imagine we start the season, its a couple weeks/months after the bridge collapse, and bobby and athena have just left for their cruise. cut to buck and eddie and buck seems kind of sad/dejected for some reason but no one knows why and eddie is riding the high of starting dating again and taking his shot with marisol. then chris drops the bombshell that he's dating on eddie and asking him for advice and eddie starts panicking because what the hell does he know about women he very spectacularly ran off the last two and the night's still young with marisol. so he goes to buck, because its chris and buck always has the answers with chris and anyway buck may suck at keeping a girlfriend but he's good at the dating part and he has natalia now and he seems so sure about her so clearly he's doing something right. and buck says yes, of course he's gonna say yes, it's chris, but while chris is asking all these questions about love, and dating, and how do you know when you really like someone and what do you do when you like someone like that, buck is answering them but the weird kicked puppy air keeps clinging to him and he sounds wistful if nothing else. and toward the end of the episode, he admits to eddie that him and natalia broke up. he dodges the question of why no matter how anyone asks throughout the rest of the season.

the rest of the cruise ship arc goes by and then its ep 100 and HOWEVER it happens (maybe its tommy, maybe its anything else I actually have no spec for this part) buck starts questioning his sexuality or just plain going "why the fuck not clearly I'm doing something wrong with the way I've been going about dating maybe its the fact that they've all been women" and starts thinking about dating men. he talks to eddie about it and eddie starts feeling some type of way but tries to be supportive anyways (and then immediately goes to bobby and begs for a transfer which is why bobby tells him he can't tell him how to feel about the job. jk but i actually have no idea where that line fits into any of this or what its about so we're ignoring it). eddie and marisol are still doing perfectly fine and going on casual dates atp.

then ep 5 rolls around, which looks like a pretty shenanigans filled episode, so it could mostly have nothing to do with the rest of the plot or it could have some of that underlying tension festering between buck and eddie, especially with a name like "you don't know me"

now starting with episode 6 I'm not totally decided where this spec plot would go but it can go a couple different ways. if episode 6 is the bachelor party episode only and there's no actual wedding the tension could just keep building OR there's actually gonna be a Moment. maybe nothing happens or maybe they get drunk and wake up in the same bed but even if they do they immediately start freaking out or avoiding each other and not acknowledging it. either way, the wedding will happen. it will be chaotic and insane and beautiful and by the end of the night buck is standing in his sad little corner watching everyone when hen or maddie comes up to him and he will finally admit that the reason why natalia broke up with him was because she knew he's in love with eddie. maybe eddie's also looking back at him or maybe he's glowing, twirling marisol around on the dance floor.

ORRRRRRR

nothing actually happens between buck and eddie after buck comes out. eddie and marisol break up sometime before the wedding/bachelor party for seemingly unrelated reasons. the bachelor party and wedding go off with several hitches but none involving buck and eddie's relationship. and then the next morning they wake up in bed together à la chandler and monica getting together in Friends.

#are there several holes in every single aspect of this #yes but mind your own business #the entire purpose of this post is so that I have all of my delusions in writing either to clap or point and laugh at once the season start #911 spoilers #lmao #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 speculation #weewoo brainrot

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Eps 8 & 9

Hello, Chenford fans! If you love Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford on The Rookie, I owe you a debt of thanks. Throughout the years, I've loved writing Metas for various ships, and several of you told me I HAD to check out this ship.

Y'all. Were. Right! It's been so much fun catching up and then riding with you this season on an amazing adventure. All of y'all who've stuck it out from the beginning are rockstars!

SPOILER ALERT: This is a Meta of Episodes 8 and 9 AKA the 2022 Winter Finale. I will be talking extensively about Chenford and spoiling every bit of it for these two episodes, as well as diving into their past and parallels found there. Do not proceed if you wish to remain unspoiled.

Ready? Let's dive in!

The Collar

"I'm reassigning Aaron for the day. Lucy, that means you're on Gofer Duty."

Lucy and Tim haven't been outright avoiding one another since their near-cheating incident, but they have been avoiding riding together.

Spending all day in a vehicle without an out or an excuse to get away if things get too personal? Yeah, they've been avoiding this.

The way they look at one another, both trying to see if the other is okay with this is so perfectly their MO. They're not going to say what they want until they're certain the other person is on the same page.

Just look at the scene when Tim "asked" Lucy to be his Gofer... they basically went around one another in circles until it came to arms crossed and "Do you want it?" "If you want me to want it", basically.

Tim and Lucy are still tip-toeing here. And Grey can feel the discomfort.

"Is there some reason you two can't ride together?"

Lucy huffs out an exasperated sigh because what can she say!? and looks to Tim, who looks to her. There's no getting out of this without saying something neither of them want to say right now, so they let it go.

But watch them after Grey walks away. Tim can barely look at her.

Because this is not like the times in the past when they've ridden together. They've ridden as TO and Rookie/Boot. They've ridden as Sergeant and Gofer. Yes, technically Lucy is on Gofer Duty, but she's no longer his Gofer. That job's been given to Aaron.

She's riding as Officer Chen, and their dynamic has completely shifted from one that bordered on romantic to two people desperately trying to shove down the feelings that they too-briefly acknowledged months earlier wearing borrowed clothes and courage.

The Shop is a tin can with two people shoved inside of it—two people who are hoping they can avoid shaking the foundations of their firmly rooted relationship because they aren't quite ready to leap.

"So... how's single life going?" "It's good. No one to complain when I watch football all Sunday." "You didn't leave the house once?" "I walked Kojo." "Tim! What?" "I spend all week outside." "I know, but we live in a vibrant city. There's always something amazing going on." "Look, obviously don't get me wrong, I love LA, but it is not a vibrant city, okay? It's a loosely stitched together patchwork of strip-malls." "You're hopeless."

Yes, I wrote all that. I love this whole exchange because it feels like them, and I know that's why Lucy is smiling over at him after he finishes his last line. This feels right. It always has.

Yes, there have been times that they have been at odds. Yes, there were times Tim was a hard*ss trying to whip her into shape. Yes, they've had their fights and confrontations over the years.

But this rhythm has been earned.

They can disagree without offending one another. They don't have to conceal the fact that they disagree, or tiptoe around issues.

Well, they do have one issue they tiptoe around... but we'll get to that later.

A Phone Rings

Tim glances over, and his face is hilarious. It's a good thing Chris can't see how Tim registers who it is, makes a grim frown, and looks away, trying not to eavesdrop because the last thing he wants to do is listen to the woman he loves be ooey-gooey with her boyfriend.

"Where are you?" "An open house! It was on my way to work. What do you think? It need some work, but it's three bedrooms."

Now this has Tim's attention. He looks over, trying to register if he's hearing what he thinks he's hearing.

Lucy. Looks. Horrified.

"I can't really see anything. Can we talk later?" "Yeah! Love you!"

Lucy can't hang up the phone fast enough.

She huffs out a little, frustrated grunt as she makes that image disappear from her phone screen—a future she knows deep down she doesn't want.

Tim—who thought he was going to get through this day without delving into Lucy's personal life—can't help himself. He noticed several things in that exchange, and there's something that's stirring within him even if he doesn't want to admit it—hope.

Lucy didn't say "I love you" back.

Lucy looked entirely uncomfortable at the idea of moving in with Chris.

Lucy rushed to get him off the phone.

These are all tiny indicators to Tim that there's a chance to have that conversation he's been dying to have since the hotel room when Lucy stood before him wearing nothing but a robe as armor against her heart.

The episode before, he was holding his radio—a literally communication device—which tied them together throughout the day. He held it in his hand, trying to communicate with Lucy. But Chris swooped in, and she was whisked away on his arm, seemingly happy.

Tim doesn't want to do anything to hurt Lucy's happiness.

But this exchange gives him the hint that she isn't happy.

"Are you, are you and Chris moving in together?" "No." "I mean, he seems to think you are." "Yeah, I mean, I don't know. He kinda sprang it on me this morning."

Watch how Lucy rubs her chest, clearly uncomfortable.

Up until now, it's been easy to coast in this comfortable relationship. She wasn't sure where Tim stood, especially after he encouraged her to go off to UC school, and Chris is a great guy.

She should be happy, right?

"You guys are happy, right?" "Yeah." "Those are the obvious next steps." "We're super happy. It's good."

Tim's not trying to lead her on a ride. He honestly wants Lucy to be happy, even if it's not with him. But the cracks are showing.

"That poor woman. The last moments of her life must have been agony, just wondering if the bomb was going to go off, praying it wouldn't." "I'm guessing that was the point. No way someone goes through that much trouble of building something like that unless they wanna terrorize their victim." "Yeah."

I love this conversation because we're still in the moment with them—that horrible moment where a woman lost her life.

Tim and Lucy don't just bounce off of it. Yes, they keep going. They have to. But they take the moment to acknowledge the horrors they've witnessed.

I desperately wish more of my news colleagues had done this back in the day, but that's a story for another blog.

Tim and Lucy's quiet moment of reflection and compassion is interrupted by... Chris. Of course, it's Chris.

"I saw the news, are you okay?"

Oh. Oh! I thought Chris was going to do or say something completely insensitive. That's... refreshing.

"Look, if you don't have time, I get it, but a realtor friend of mine just slipped me a listing-"

THERE it is. There's the a**hole, can't-read-the-room, tone-deaf moment I was expecting.

Lucy looks to Tim to find him already watching her. "Save me," her eyes scream.

"Chen! Chat with your boyfriend on your own time."

Heck, yeah!! That's our White Knight riding up on his faithful steed to rescue the Warrior Princess whose current dead-weight Gentleman Caller has got to go!

Thank you, Tim, for coming to the rescue with some TO-voiced ordering.

"Thanks."

He nods to her in acknowledgement. The barrier they've both kept up is falling more and more throughout this episode, especially as she leans on Tim for support.

I like to talk about the Walls of Jericho from It Happened One Night, one of my favorite love stories, ever. It was physical, but also metaphorical. It was, essentially, a flimsy sheet set between a man and woman to try to separate them and avoid temptation.

But shadows made it through, and it was easily shoved aside. That's the veil between Tim and Lucy, right now, and it's falling fast.

You shouldn't need saving from your own boyfriend. But after what happened with Caleb, Tim's always felt a responsibility to protect Lucy, and I feel that's only intensified as their relationship has progressed toward the romantic.

He can feel her hurt. This is actually hurting, now, and he's not going to stand by and do nothing.

"Look, if you don't want to move in, just tell Chris that." "The question is, 'Why don't I want to move in?'. I don't get what the problem is. I mean, Chris is great. We're great together. We never fight." "Maybe that's the problem." ... "Do you guys not fight because you don't disagree on things or because you don't think it's worth the bother?"

Watch. Her. Face. Oh, how it falls as she considers those words. She's riding along, coasting in this relationship with Chris. There's no passion, no friction, no growth. It's convenient and comfy, but we all know that Lucy isn't afraid of confrontation.

Heck, when she was still very fresh in her Rookie stage with Tim, she tracked him down at night to keep him from making a choice that would change who he was. He might've told her she was out of her depth, but he listened.

Lucy doesn't shy away when it counts. So why is she shying away, now?

"Lucy." "Yeah?" "You deserve someone who's worth the effort."

She's fiddling away at her phone case, uncomfortable and nervous. But she meets his eyes as he speaks to her. She doesn't just hear his words, she feels them.

Tim pulls away after the words escape his mouth, placing his right hand on the wheel, further away from Lucy. She watches him for a moment before looking away, just missing him looking back at her.

They both know what he meant.

Whether his intention was to put himself out there or not, he did it. He reached out a little to her, and though he can't see it, we can all feel her reaching back.

That cord of connection that bonds them is always there, but new threads are weaving in... new strands that only strengthen the more they're spoken aloud.

Tim and Lucy are falling in love... but they aren't ready to discuss it... yet.

Taking Cover from the Bomb

I know it's little, and we can rationalize Tim would have done this with anyone. He absolutely would have protected them. But I love the way he rises WITH her. When they stand after the snipping of the bomb, it's as a unit.

And it's so indicative of this episode. It's bringing them back to that point of trust we saw in 5x01 between them where they were undercover up in the air, and knew they had to trust one another completely.

They've kept apart to try and dull the thrum of their hearts that beats deeply for the other. They've been afraid, and unsure, and unsteady.

But the more they're together, the more it's obvious to both of them (and to us, come on!) that they work beautifully together, that they can depend on one another, that the get one another in a way that's spiritual and chemical and can't be forced or reproduced.

Lucy's F*cking Phone

Every time they get a second of air to breathe, that bloody phone is going off. Now, Tim's actively looking over, not even pretending he's unaware of what's transpiring.

Lucy's frustration is bubbling over, and Tim can see it. He looks over at her and sees the woman he loves... miserable. She's f*cking miserable with this other guy, and he knows it.

"Do you love him?"

Tim knows the answer to this one. It's plain as day. But he also knows Lucy. She needs to work through things, sometimes, which is part of why she talks so much.

Tim licks his lips before he says it, as if he needs extra lubrication to get the words out.

Lucy tries to deflect. Much as she loves talking, she doesn't want to talk about this with him. She deflected hardcore in the hotel, and here she is, again, trying to deflect.

"He loves you." "I know. And I feel like I should love him back. He's so great in so many different ways. It's just. He's just not-"

And her gaze shifts immediately to Tim.

Y'all breathing? Because, I legit stopped breathing at this moment. I might've flailed so much in excitement that I accidentally batted my husband's arm beside me.

But watch Tim's reaction... he knows exactly what she's saying. And while they've broken a lot of rules about talking about personal stuff in the Shop, that's one place they both know better than to cross while under the watchful eyes of half a dozen cameras.

Because, Tim is already bending toward her, but he hasn't yet broken the rules. He hasn't yet crossed the lines. Oh, we all know they both nearly did… but didn't.

ADDENDUM: After watching the scene a few more dozen times, I now don't think Tim knew what she was saying... or he wouldn't let himself hope that he was hearing correctly. Anyway... Onward...

And as they ride, feet and legs parallel to fit their seats, arms contained, and eyes only stealing glimpses, they are very much packaged within the rules of their world.

He's the Sergeant. She's running Gofer. And there are too many rules for the conversation to shift there.

"We need to talk."

Look, I've never said those words or heard those words in a positive manner, but I was completely blown away. But, before I get carried away, can we talk about how GORGEOUS Lucy looks in this ensemble? It's fabulous and I want to hug the costumer.

And there's Tim, tapping away on his phone, alone. I get the feeling they planned to have this conversation, or else he would have gone home. We've never seen him just hang out outside like this. I mean, earlier in the episode he was already telling Lucy he gets plenty of sun.

But his sun is shifting. She's becoming his sun. And soon he'll be basking in her glow.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, again.

Tim sets down his phone and immediately turns to face Lucy as she sits. This time, they aren't in the confines of the Shop. They're not parallel. They're angled toward one another, though not yet fully facing each other.

We're seeing the shift. They wear civvies. They're outside in the fresh air. And yet, they're still not facing one another completely. Not yet.

And yet they are on the same page in this moment.

"This clearly isn't working out."

Props to the human on Twitter who pointed out the repetition of this word being used by Tim and Lucy when discussing the other's significant others who they think need to go. "Clearly isn't the right guy..." "Clearly Ashley needs to go..."

And, yes, Tim. We all agree with you. It's about Tim.. Time. It's about Time (and Tim).

"Oh, like I'm the only one who stayed too long when things aren't working? You dated a lifeguard. You don't even like going to the beach."

I admit I laughed so hard at this line that I missed the next one on my first viewing. I always thought that about Tim and Ashley, but it was nice to hear Lucy verbalize my frustration.

"This isn't about me. No, it's not. This is not about me. This is about you staying in this safe relationship because you're scared."

Buuuurn. I mean, he's not wrong.

I actually know a lot about this, personally. I dated a guy in high school. Nice guy. Thought I was in love with him. But as time went on, I could see it wasn't going to work out. It just wasn't right. So, there I am in my Freshman year of college facing all these people saying, "You two are going to get married!" and everything in me screaming, "the hell we are!"

But it was safe and easy. And breaking out of that relationship was tough. I broke his heart, soundly. He kept trying to get back together with me. But in the week after I decided to break up with him, I met this amazing man named Matthew.

Spoiler Alert: We nearly met over the course of 1.5 years on two different continents on 12 different occasions. We met at exactly the right time. When I was ready to walk away from a safe relationship that was going nowhere. Been together 19 years, married 15.

So, I get it, Lucy, but it's time to break free.

"Of course I'm scared. If we do this, and it doesn't work, I'll have ruined the most important relationship in my life."

Silence. Pure silence. Because what do you say to that?

Tim's sitting there, watching her, leaning into her, drinking her in. And for the first time in his life, he's not the one who's trying to give the most. He's the one who is valued, cherished, loved, and honored. In Lucy's eyes, they are soulmates, with or without the romantic subplot.

And as that realization sets in... that she sees him the same way he sees her. Oh, he loves her all the more.

Because there is finally a person who knows what an a** he can be, how rigid he can be, how closed off he can be, how horrible his childhood was, how hard he's fought to be his own man despite never having a father who gave a damn. Lucy has seen his scars, and not only does she care about him, she is so terrified to risk what they have because she knows in her heart there is no other human who can fill the Tim shaped hole in her life that would be left if he was gone.

Tim. Is. Loved.

When you grow up feeling unlovable, then enter into relationships where everyone's leaving you... it gets hard to see your own value. You stop believing that you're a catch, something precious, something special.

But Lucy knows Tim inside and out, and in this moment, he finally understands why she's terrified.

It's not just about risking a friendship. It's risking the defining relationship that transcends every label it was supposed to have at every stage. This is big.

The last time his mouth was this wide he was completely turned on by the idea of hooking up with Lucy via her doppelganger backstory. But the expression this time is completely different.

Look at Tim's eyes. Look at the man who has feared himself unlovable learning that the woman he holds to such high esteem holds him equally high or higher.

Lucy realizes the bomb she just dropped (thank you to Director Robert Bella for telling us they'd be there!) and she tries to back-pedal a little. Now, she is not negating what she said. She simply fears it was too strong a statement to drop on Tim right this second.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" "No. Um, you're right."

This takes me right back to the hotel room. Her trying to give him an answer, an escape, an excuse. Just biology, "right?" And it's belated, but here's that "right" she was looking for. The big reason that it's not worth the risk.

"So we should just keep going the way we have been, right? It's not worth the risk."

Right? Right!? RIGHT!?

She wants him to affirm her so badly, not because she doesn't want him... but because she wants to know it's in her head, to know that he won't go there, to know that she's justified in staying scared.

But this time, Tim's not letting her off the hook. He can see it in her eyes. He can hear it in her voice. They're on the same page, and there's no way he's letting her turn it without him beside her.

A thousand micro-expressions cross Tim's face. There's the, "Well, you have a point" that quickly shifts to "but maybe..." and then to "I'm just saying" with that little pout to the raised eyebrows with the "come on... let's try".

"Unless it is."

Three words. Three little words and the entire Chenford fandom spontaneously combusted on the floor. I mean, we were already puddling, let's be clear, but in terms of existing on this plane? Nah, that went out the door with this.

Because Tim Bradford, Mr. Super Cop, Follow the Rules, "Chen" not "Lucy" is sitting next to the woman he loves and telling her he thinks they are worth the risk.

WE are worth the risk.

Lucy stares at him incredulously, a little gasp escaping her lips. It's something Melissa O'Neil does a lot as Lucy that adds so much realism to her reactions. Here, Lucy is so surprised at his response, but she's elated, too. You can see it in the upturn of her lips.

And Look. At. Tim. Look at our boy all heart-eyes and fawning over the new sun in his life—Lucy Chen.

Eric Winter takes us on another tour of micro-expressions. We start with his awe at watching her respond, then gathering himself up, trying to have courage. Then, that falls away as he simply laughs. Because he doesn't need courage. He's already fallen. The only question... is whether or not she's ready to take this leap.

He lets the smile fall, gathering himself for whatever she might say as he learns forward. He's moving closer to her, physically, romantically, emotionally... It's all riding on this.

"Do you want to get dinner sometime?"

On. The. Floor. All those Chenford folks who were already broken apart and left this plane temporarily re-formed long enough to combust, again.

Timothy Bradford, look at you!

And this entire scene has brought us to this. From an establishing shot, to a two-shot, to switching sides so the busy sidewalk is out of our view, and pushing in as Tim and Lucy get closer and closer to this moment.

The camera's been taking us on a journey, from remembering where we are and who might be around to forgetting that anything except Tim and Lucy exist. It's the intimacy of the moment brought to life through the screen.

We've come to this moment tight on Lucy as she looks back at Tim, his eyes swimming with hope. It looks beautiful on him.

"Ye-es!"

She makes it two syllables (another amazing little touch that Melissa O'Neil does) as she explodes in a grin that'd light up the darkest room.

And watch Tim bask in it. Have we ever seen his eyes so bright?

"Yeah?"

I love the way he breathes it out, breathless, because she has stolen his breath away and he is left in disbelief that this beautiful woman is ready to risk it all for him... with him... for them.

"No, uh..." "Okay." "No, no, it's just... Not yet. I owe it to Chris to end things the right way with him."

Watch Tim's body language (and this is all Eric Winter). He pulls away from her. He straightens his back. His foot pops down and his knee drops.

Everything in Tim just deflated. After that split-second of joy, this feels like the plummet into rejection that some tiny part of him feared—the part of him that continually thinks he isn't worth it... because of deep set childhood trauma and abuse.

And we've shifted back to the two-shot, away from the intimacy.

But Lucy brings it back.

Before Tim can fully pull away, we shift back to that tight shot.

"Ask me again."

And watch how he boomerangs right back to her.

He's leaning in. He's engaged. He's surprised, but in the best way. Because "Not yet" can easily lean into "No".

But "Ask me again"? There's no denying what she means. She wants this. She wants him. She wants them.

Just not yet.

"Later. After." "Deal."

And look at his face. He looks so content. I can't remember ever seeing Tim Bradford so worry-free.

I mean, there are hints of him relaxing into life around Lucy... paint-balling... the flirty banter after she woke up after Day of the Dead... dancing in the company of friends.

But there's always been that bit of tension about. Not here. His face is free of all that, and he is resting in the knowledge that soon it won't be an idea, a fantasy, a fear, or a frustration. They are taking this next step together.

And it is terrifying. And it could be disastrous. But they've committed in this moment. And I love that for them.

Take Back

Chris Wants Tim's Opinion

Have you ever been around a male peacock? They are a fascinating bunch, constantly throwing out their gorgeous feathers. But they can be really annoying. I've had them chase me and my family at a local farm. Like, really, Mr. Peacock? I didn't do anything to you!

That's how I view Chris and Tim.

I don't think Chris is just in here because "Tim knows Lucy's taste". I get the impression that Chris is onto Tim and Lucy, but I think he only sees Tim's side because he's completely, blindly in obsessive-love with Lucy and is missing the truths in front of him.

He doesn't see Tim as competition. He feels like he's won. But he wants to be sure that Tim is aware of that fact so he'll back off.

I mean, look at how Chris responded to Lucy inviting Tim on their date after she gave Tim's radio back? Chris' face fell and he was completely frustrated. We know he's tried to talk her out of being a cop and into being a lawyer.

Much like Ashley, he found someone he liked enough and tried to shape her into what he wanted. The difference is, Ashley knew when to walk away, even if her timing sucked (in a hospital? after surgery? Were you raised by a**holes?)

So, here's Chris in Tim's temporary office, making sure to show off the big house he's going to get with Lucy—and you aren't, Tim. Neener, neener, neener!

Yeah, I'm not nice to Chris' internal monologue...

"You know her tastes..."

Of course he does, Chris. Because Tim is her favorite flavor. Step off, bro.

**To be clear, I have nothing against the actor. If anyone attacks him over a character he plays, they're an a**hole. But Chris is fictional and fair-game to me.

"It's nice." "What's nice?"

Let's not pretend Lucy is in here for any reason other than to get her boyfriend away from her husband. That room is nothing but glass, and she likely spied Chris in there and thought, "F*ck".

Chris kisses Lucy's cheek on the way out, and the grin Tim gives him is delicious. "Do it while you can, buddy, because you are on the way out and Tim Bradford is on the way in."

Yes, I realized the multiple entendres, though it wasn't written with that intention. So, it stays. Take it however you will.

In one smooth camera movement, we go from Lucy dropping the plastic smile to Tim looking up from the desk with a half smile.

"How's the breakup going?"

I cackled. I died. I tried so hard not to wake my sleeping husband but definitely failed because he abandoned our bed shortly after to take the couch.

There's no more tip-toeing for Tim and Lucy. Everything is on the table, it's just whether or not they play it through.

"I'm in the planning stages. I'm just reviewing the literature." "Literature? Lucy, a psychology journal's not going to tell you how to break up with Chris. Just invite him to your office and ask for his playbook."

I love this. The banter. The humor.

Look, I'm a huge fan of characters getting together and not losing what made them great. It worked beautifully on The Good Place and Brooklyn 99, and I really want to see it work here, too.

Tim and Lucy's back-and-forths are part of why we love them. Even in this moment, they disagree. But they've worked through so much in their relationship that even though they openly disagree, they know how to do so with respect.

It's earned.

"His playbill?" "His playbook. When you get kicked off the team you have to turn in your playbook. It's a metaphor." "No, it's cruel. I'm going to handle it my way."

And here come Tim's creeping doubts. Because a tiny part of him still worries this is too good to be true.

"If you're having second thoughts-" "No. I'm not." "Good."

Heart eyes. We have HEART EYES at work... in uniform. In the Watch Commander's Office. Freakin' heart eyes.

You ever have a moment where you stop and think, "How did I get here?" That's me and this moment. Everything up until this point made me smile and squeal. But, this? This made me swoon.

Because Tim Bradford and Lucy Chen are looking at one another like the other lassoed the moon. There's no fear. No trepidation. No worry. No tension.

In this brief moment, Tim and Lucy are simply that... Tim and Lucy. Every other boundary is seemingly stripped.

And yet... they are still separated by Chris... and the Desk of Duty set between them.

Think about it. Tim doesn't break the rules much. Yes, some things matter more. It's true! But, it's few and far between.

Here, he is in the role of Watch Commander, even further from Lucy in her position. And yet the man and woman beneath the badges and uniforms are screaming to be together.

But the barriers have not yet been rendered moot.

"You know, you haven't said anything since we pulled out." ... "I need to break up with Chris." "Finally!"

Aaron. Oh, Aaron. Thank you. First, for knowing our girl well enough to know that her silence is a sign something is up. Two, for saying what everyone has been quietly thinking. And we (the audience) know you know Tim's got it bad for Lucy. So, thank you for your service in this moment.

"Aaron was right. I should have practiced more. Okay. Um. I need you to give me your playbook."

She defaults to Tim's advice. Quick. Rip off the band-aid. Go for the metaphor.

Now, my husband pointed out that he would have had no idea what that meant (same with me). But, apparently, Chris knows enough.

"Are you breaking up with me?" "You know what that means?"

I laughed heartily at that. Which is a terrible, terrible thing to do when a guy is getting his heart broken. But, I've been there.

I didn't say exactly those words, but I knew direct and to the point was the best way to handle the comfortable—but wrong for me—guy.

He's great, by the way. Married to a mutual friend of ours with a son. We kept in touch! I oddly did that with all my exes... Yeah, I know I'm weird.

But Lucy definitely definitely doesn't need to keep in touch with Chris.

And our girl knows it, because as soon as the deed is done, she runs right back to Tim.

Lucy knocks on his door, that beautiful moonstone ring that has come to mean so much glinting at the camera lens, catching light from somewhere in the room.

"How's it going?" "Counting the seconds until Grey returns. What are you doing back?" "I talked to Chris."

With that, Lucy crosses the threshold of the room, toward Tim, away from the past.

Tim finally, finally comes out from behind the desk. He stands facing her. No longer parallel like in the Shop. No longer angled like outside.

This time, they're pointed at what they both truly want—each other.

And the barriers are gone. Lucy has shed the dead weight of the puffed chicken, and Tim just stepped away from the weight of that Desk of Duty to face Lucy fully as a man.

He's still in uniform. They're in the Watch Commander's office. The walls are glass. But none of that matters to him because he's made a choice, already, and nothing will stand in his way now that Lucy is ready to take this leap together.

"How did it go?" "Uhhh, awful. But it's done."

Lucy takes a look around them, taking in the scene, looking to see if anyone is coming or anyone is watching. She turns back to Tim, secure that this is their moment.

And it's happening inside the precinct. Why? I think it's because this is where it all started for them. The first chapter of their story began in this setting. Why not have the next chapter start similarly?

Tim watches Lucy as she looks to him. The look on his face reminds me of 5x01 when they'd just crossed the threshold into her apartment and he was standing there, watching her, unsure if she wanted to start or if he should.

This time, there's no ambiguity from her.

"So, do you have something you were gonna ask me?"

She takes a step forward on that, settling into her hip the same way she did at that door back in 5x01, watching Tim and waiting for him to cross the threshold to her.

This time, the threshold is invisible, but they both know it's there. They can feel the buzz of this moment and all the change it will bring.

Much as they have fought it in the past, they know they're on the same page. It's time to start writing a new chapter.

"I can't remember." "Don't make me hurt you."

Again, thank you, writers, for making sure that Tim and Lucy are still... Tim and Lucy. Even in this moment of monumental change, they are still the characters we love and not watered-down versions of them.

Lucy and Tim are flirting in their teasing way, and my heart's fluttering so fast I fear I'll take flight.

Tim locks eyes on her, taking his own step forward. Any closer and there'd be some side-eye from the other officers outside, of course. But that was the threshold right there.

He crossed it. Tim Bradford took a step toward the future he wants with Lucy Chen.

And as his eyes swim with adoration, his mouth quirks into an almost-smile, the peace of reciprocal love enveloping him in warmth.

His eyes sparkle, and while, yes it's probably studio lighting... I like to think it's because those eyes are reflecting the radiance of Lucy's love back to her.

"Do you wanna go out on a date?" "Yeah, I do."

The last time she said, "I do" to him, they were on a dance-floor, giddy with excitement, releasing themselves into a moment of happiness.

But with these two words, they've unlocked something even deeper—the chance at love that transcends boundaries and rules, that binds souls in passion and paradise.

Does it mean the road will be easy? Hell, no. But, it means they'll face it together.

They have fought. They have battled. They have pissed each other off. They have pranked one another. Helped one another. Supported one another. Uplifted one another. Rescued one another.

This is an epic love story, not some flash-in-the-pan, fly-by romance. Tim and Lucy have been on parallel paths for a long time.

But now, their roads have converged in the purest of ways—two humans daring to risk it all... because they're worth it.

And despite being in a transparent box, nobody's looking in, and Tim and Lucy aren't looking out. They only see each other, and the possibilities opened on the blank page of the rest of their lives. Oh, I can't wait to watch it unfold.

Thank you all for reading. What comes next? Only the writers know... but I'm loving this ride, and I want to thank each and every one of you who told me over the summer that I needed to check this ship out. You were right! They're magic.

#Chenford #Tim x Lucy #Lucy x Tim #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #The Rookie #Eric Winter #Melissa O'Neil

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Favorite Buddie Fics (so far!)

Hi 911 fam!

This has been way, waaaaaaay past overdue. The weewoo show got a hold of me last May and, for some reason, I resisted making a fic rec blog about it. I think I was kind of in disbelief that I, a serial long-term monoshipper, had adopted a second new ship in less than a year 😆 But it seems like I'm a sucker for a good Best Friends to Lovers, Found Family, Trauma Bonding vibe!!

I figured I ought to start off this blog with my favourite fics I've read so far. These are the ones that are, to me, the most memorable, that I've already re-read once (or twice!) in the last few months. I absolutely love them!

I'm going to try and start making recs here a bit more often! In the meantime, if you want more fics I've enjoyed, you can have a look at my ao3 bookmarks here. You can also find me on Twitter and Bluesky @/epicficrecs !

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think about those fics and what are YOUR all time favourites? 😊

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

Your Scars and Your Lonely Heart by Taste_is_Sweet (Sentinels AU, Canon Divergent - Tsunami | 82K | Teen): Clara Williams just wanted to visit Pacific Park during her layover in Los Angeles. She never expected to find a young, exceptional Sentinel dying for lack of a bond. Actually, what she really never expected was a tsunami, or the same Sentinel to save her life. But Clara's a Guide, so now she's on a mission to keep Evan "Buck" Buckley alive until she can get him to Eddie Diaz, the Guide who should have bonded with him, but didn't. Because Clara can't bond with Buck, no matter how much she wants to. There's just one problem: Buck's convinced Eddie doesn't want him, and he might not survive long enough to find out the truth.

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, Amnesia AU, Post-Season 5 | 44K | Mature): An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting, Stripper Buck | 84K | Explicit): When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 9/? | 69K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

(yes I put a WIP there because it's just that good)

#buck and eddie #911 fox #buck x eddie #buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #buddie fic rec #epic buddie fic rec #favorites

[evansblues]

Hi Over there, Red Flower back,

I wanted to add something to the two posts I did yesterday.

The film industry as we know it is going to change radically. At Covid I got the message that the entertainment industry is not going to be the same as before. At first I didn't understand it, I thought it would be a continuation of Me Too, but that it wasn't that. It's mainly the strike of the last few months that's revolutionizing everything. Everyone is finally realizing that something is wrong.

Film quality declines as Hollywood's structure collapses. Why is this relevant here ? What's happening with the Chris case is a reflection of the general panic sweeping Hollywood. Everyone who follows the EvansBlues page senses that there's something wrong with the situation, and that what's being presented to us doesn't make sense, but the people in charge of the story are carrying on regardless. They are out of touch ! The way it's all been managed from the start has been absolutely pathetic. Which means nothing is real with the exception of the repercussions this has on Chris's life. I've read several times here and elsewhere that he should do things differently, that he's on the wrong path… In reality, he's doing exactly the right thing ! He must change, he must never be the same again and to do that, he must destroy everything. The phoenix is the perfect analogy to steal from EvansBlues. When it's all over as far as this unfortunate failed pr venture is concerned (because yes, that's exactly what it is) expect desperate attempts by his team to get things back on track. It won't work of course, because they've gone too far, and that's when the drastic changes will come. Everyone involved in this will fall and we'll know it. We'll see it.

ASP will close. This site was a mistake from the start, because in reality it wasn't his idea but rather that of his collaborator, who once again wanted to use Chris's image to succeed in what he wanted to do. It's always the same story with Chris : everyone wants a piece of him and he just can't say no. But after his Tower Moment, he'll be saying no a lot, and he'll be respected for it…

He'll isolate himself, not against his will - on the contrary, it's his true nature even if some people say he's an extrovert, which isn't incompatible, but in reality he's made to live in a restricted circle. All the friends who took part in this circus will no longer be in the picture. He'll be very busy and he'll distance himself from them. From what I've seen, he doesn't understand these people and these people don't understand him either, and as he becomes more in tune with himself, he won't be able to accept this. He'll have new friends, very different from what he has now. Not many, but it'll be like a soul family reunion.

As for his family, what I understand is that they will be less in the spotlight. This has something to do with his meeting with FS. When he has a family of his own, his current family will take a back seat as he puts the welfare of his children and his wife first. He'll be very protective, even a little aggressive, because he'll put his family's needs first.

The current situation shows us the danger of not listening to our soul. If you want to help, do the opposite of what Chris is doing. Listen to yourself. Say no when necessary and don't let anything or anyone take over your life ! That's why he's a leader, a teacher, he's showing us through his actions the result of a puppet's life. Where other people's desires take precedence over your own. This is the lesson we've learned from him. Again, nothing about this situation is real. It's an illusion created to make money, but it won't work. In fact, that's why we're seeing a real circus going on in every direction. With EvansBlues' permission, I may expand on the latter in another post.

The post is already too long…

Thanks again EvansBlues !

Namaste. Infinite Gratitude ;)

You’re always welcome to share.

My favorite puppet. 🧛🏻‍♀️🥀

[callsignbaphomet]

I've decided on something that I'd been contemplating regarding Jela's attack. I've wondered if having Jelani come across the 7 assailants (there were 8 but Loke killed one of them, we'll get back to this in a bit) again would be ideal. Of course this second time around he'd be able to get closure in the form of revenge for what they did. I mean, usually in a story when a character is wronged, and in such a brutal manner to boot, the story often leads to the character that was wronged getting their revenge. I know it's not always the case and it doesn't always need to happen and in a way I don't really feel like this is headed in that direction. Who would benefit from Jelani being exposed to Christian and the other 6 assailants? Who would feel a sense of satisfaction in spilling their blood for what they did to a seventeen-year-old who was just doing the right thing? Not Jelani that's for sure. As his parents Loke and Uthorim would feel vindicated and avenged even though it didn't happen to them. Angelus sure as shit would revel in slowly killing off the sick bastards that assaulted his boyfriend and left him severely traumatized.

Being exposed to them, especially Christian, would more than likely unravel the little bit of recovery Jelani has had in the months following the assault. All that shit and trauma is still affecting him even almost a year later in ways that not even Loke, Uthorim or Angelus even know. The last thing Christian did after he was finished with Jelani was threaten him. If he told Loke who did it he would find both of them, kill Loke in front of him and do it again only that second time Chris was gonna "not be so merciful". So while, yeah, Jelani's spent plenty of sleepless nights just fantasizing about brutally killing them all or at the very least Chris it's one thing to fantasize about something. It's a whole different thing to actually be there and do it. Seeing Chris or any of them would literally be opening up semi-healed wounds and pouring salt on them. And honestly with how traumatized he is he'd probably just freeze on the spot. The little bit of recovery he'd done would just burn away.

Getting back to one of them getting killed. Loke got lucky. One of them, Nathaniel, had left the group after the assault. He was the only one that refused to do that but only because Jelani was a minor, don't think he's a decent person just because he refused to at first and "took it easy on him" he still did it anyways plus he's done other terrible shit to other people. He just didn't want to because Jelani was a kid at the time it happened. Loke just so happened to find him and tore him to pieces. Yeah, there was some satisfaction but killing all 8 of 'em wasn't gonna magically take back what happened or make Jelani instantly better. This is also coupled with the fact that Chris is a vile piece of shit and wouldn't go down without a fight or at the very least hurting Jelani again. He's as vile and evil as Iain is.

Basically everyone (Loke, Uthorim and Angelus) except for the actual victim (Jelani) would benefit from this clash and he's been through enough already not to mention that recovery is its own type of hell so it'd just be adding more to it.

#fo: Jelani tag #au oc things

[rahleeyah]

I’ve been away from tumblr for a while, did you always have a gf?!

Re the EO of it all, the reason ppl catastrophize, include me, at every little thing, is because there is little to no movement. When C first came back I was like relax, things are moving along, then they abruptly stopped giving us anything, no EO no movement, no progress for 3 seasons now. I’m tired. Only saving grace is that I don’t really watch OC, and I’m enjoying SVU this season.

LMAO no not always, we've been together a few months 🤣

So the thing is I understand why people catastrophize, I said in my post I'd been doing it myself, for some of the reasons you mentioned. I never said that people shouldn't express disappointment or concern (I expressed my own frustration in that post several times) and I never like. Passed a judgment on anyone for responding in any kind of way. I was asked my opinion and I gave it. I think everybody knows why we and others are frustrated by this, I think there's been plenty of posts on that topic. I don't want you to think you have to defend your position, when in part I agree with it.

The thing is, if all I ever thought about was how the show isn't doing what I want then all the joy I derive from it would be gone, and I would simply stop watching. Life is too short for me to actually be hurt by a TV show. If I genuinely only felt resentment I would stop. But I haven't, bc I don't feel that way.

what I am doing, all the time, is evaluating what we have been given, what we can reasonably expect, what I can do with what we have been given, and whether at the end of the day it still makes me happy. This is work I am doing for me; other people will do things their own way and it's not up to me to tell them what to think or get upset when we're not in lockstep.

When I am asked about my perspective my answer is going to be based on those four questions above. This a network copaganda series that has never done deep dives into relationships and in fact even for the men Olivia was actually sleeping with only ever gave us brief, periodic glimpses into what was going on at home. The franchise prides itself on not doing a lot of relationship work. Whatever we might want, however compelling a story they may have on their hands with EO, they aren't ever going to center EO. Not bc they hate it (tho perhaps some of tptb do) but bc that simply isn't the kind of show this is. It's a hot dog cart, they're not selling pad thai. When all they have to offer us is a hot dog, well. What else did we expect?

Yes they have the means to do more, but to what extent? Mariska and Chris are already on set for their own shows 16 hours a day, when are they supposed to stop work on their individual shows (which the writers/producers of each show have to prioritize their own show over EO, bc EO is not a show, eo is a concept that is connective between two shows but eo doesn't get renewed, the shows do, and so the shows, individually, have to be good on their own merits) and go to a different set? Esp when they're still filming episodes just like 3-4 out from airing? That schedule is TIGHT. Plus oc has had like three showrunners this season and they aren't even halfway thru filming. They barely know what story they're telling over there and it's unclear whether what we have now is the result of current leadership or the last fingerprints of someone who's already gone. I'm not happy with it, and I've expressed my unhappiness with it, but I'm not gonna like. Just keep repeating how disappointing it is.

The echo chamber of negativity hurts me. I know that some people find comfort in hearing people voice their concerns and discussing that together, but to constantly be soaking in that environment clouds my judgment. It pulls me away from my own thoughts and perspective, it stifles my creativity, and it makes me feel bad, when if I only step outside that discourse and evaluate things for myself, I'm actually pretty happy with where we're at.

So again, when I am asked my opinion, I am not going to contribute to a cycle that hurts me. I am going to be honest about my perspective, and offer some encouragement - and, again, not tell others what to feel.

Y'all feel any kind of way you feel. Everybody has a different outlook and it's important for us to hear a range of voices. But this here is my house, and I will not contribute to distressing others as these conversations sometimes distress me. I'm not going to amplify bitterness. I will not foster it in my own heart and I will not do so to others. I genuinely believe we are in a good place, EO wise. I know it is not what we hoped for, but as we have discussed, many times, what we hoped for was not ever really in the cards. We can't be angry the hot dog cart couldn't sell us a gourmet meal. In fact, if we want a gourmet meal, we frankly should not have come to the hot dog cart at all.

Part of what makes EO so compelling is all the space the show leaves for the audience to draw their own conclusions. If the show was slightly better made or all those holes had been filled in, what would there be for fandom to do? A vibrant fandom full of creative ideas and cool fic and long meta needs a source media that is just a little bit bad, and leaves some of those doors open for interpretation. So I'm glad they're a little bad. That gives me room to work.

That was. Way too long, and not at all what you asked, but I'm still drinking my coffee lmao

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

[tirsynni]

Tirsynni....?

I feel like the meme where somebody touches the ground and goes "something terrible happened here."

Man, buddy... what happened?

I've been back on my Resident Evil kick lately, because of the Resident Evil 4 remake. I got super excited about it and I started rereading a lot of fanfics and I stumbled across your stuff again, and I started binging those again!

So I found your Tumblr and I decided to see what was up and I scrolled down and I feel like I shouldn't have, but oh my goodness, what happened?

Has the Fandom gone nuts? You and fonulyn are some of the best Resident Evil writers I know! Why is everyone suddenly being so damn rude?! I just....

I guess I'm just disappointed. I haven't been in the Resident Evil fandom for a little bit, I've been moving around the stranger things circles and I haven't had time to come back until the Remake dropped, and I came back to this.

The same thing happened with another Tumblr author who writes for Resident Evil that I know, I won't name them but I really hope that this doesn't discourage you from writing and that this doesn't discourage you or fonulyn or any other writer for Resident Evil from your love of this wacky, action packed, funny, horror franchise.

I can understand where you're coming from, I do some writing in my spare time, and it's people like you on Tumblr and on Twitter and on Discord that inspire me to be creative! You're one of the people that inspired me to start writing for Resident Evil in the first place, and you're one of the people who inspired my love for the threesome of Leon and Chris and Piers. You're also the person who really made me realize how much I liked hurt/comfort and whump, and how much I loved both reading and writing it. Your self-indulgent writing style made me realize that I didn't have to wait for somebody to come out with the fanfiction that I wanted to read about the characters that I liked, because I could write it myself!

And I'm never going to be able to thank you for how much that means to me.

That anon prompt about the five plus one with the hurt and comfort and whump between Leon and Chris and Piers sounds like a lovely project, and I think I might give it a try, if that's all right with you. Eventually, I know that you would probably write something about it, but I think I'd like to try writing for those three again. You write everything beautifully, and I've subscribed to your author profile on Archive of Our Own because I know that anything you post is worth reading, and I know that you take your time uploading because you want it to be good for us, and I know you take your time uploading because stuff gets in the way sometimes, and I understand that, I understand that more than you might think.

I'm not even a full-time writer, but there's someone who has a lot of creativity and as someone who is anticipating a very big workload in the next couple of months as I prepare for my first ever full-time job, I'm severely wondering how I'm going to be mentally functioning, or even how I'm going to be able to write anything.

But, I have faith in you. Because if you can inspire me, a person with a lot of things wrong about them, a person who has such a deep ingrained fear of writing down the ideas in their head because of the bullying they went through when they were younger?

Then I have faith that you can make it through whatever crisis or situation that you are going through.

We are stronger than the things that try to make us weak.

Sleep sweet, sing strong, stay brave.

I want you to know that I've been cuddling this for a couple days now. lol I haven't had the time (or energy) to sit down and respond, but I want you to know that I absolutely love and appreciate this and want to print this and carry it around with me. <3 <3 <3

On the personal front, everything has been nonstop crazy for the last several years. My dad got sick with leukemia, we thought he was in the clear (he rang the fucking cancer bell even!), only for the cancer to return. Last October, we were told that he was probably not coming home. Since then, he's had another stem cell transplant and he's doing much better, but everyone is still anxious because he was doing good last time and if he relapses again? It's done. My middle kitty's urinary issues returned and she currently has diabetes on top of it. My eldest kitty has pancreatitis. These health issues have required some major changes, multiple vet visits, a couple thousand dollars in vet bills, and me needing to stab my middle kitty with a needle twice a day. They're both doing well now! All my kitties are currently doing well; however, these health issues are a major weight and I'm worried that they're going to cut my middle and oldest kitties' lives shorter than need be. There have been major issues at work, the political situation where I live is terrifying, and I've had a couple health issues myself recently, including covid two months ago or so. Ugh.

Writing has been my escape for years, both original and fanfiction. I love writing and sharing my fics. I love talking headcanons and such with other fans. I love hearing opposing views or different kinks and stuff that makes me think even if I don't agree with it. I've literally been writing for decades. It's my happy place!

Unfortunately, there's been such a dramatic shift in fandom culture that it's difficult for it to be an escape anymore. There's always been some insane drama going on in fandom, but whereas before people would grab the popcorn, now it seems to be nasty and pervasive. It's exhausting. My writing has always been self-indulgent or happily indulging of others, but now there's such a high risk of someone being an asshole or doing everything they can to ruin something you find awesome and fun and inspiring. It hasn't just been RE: many fandoms and fandom culture in general have been affected due to the loss of places like Livejournal and the rise of purity culture and the horrific, dramatic politics of the last ten or so years. There's no more "don't like, don't read." It's people thinking criticism is necessary and the writer should be grateful for it. It's people thinking writers are greedy for wanting to know if someone enjoys their works. It's the rise in policing others and their works, in people insisting that "thought crimes" are real, in people deciding that it's acceptable to attack others.

That fic prompt? The 5+1? If you like it, absolutely go for it. I would love to read it and I'm sure the original anon would, too. I just wish that the anon ask wasn't such a good representative of some of the issues with current fandom culture. When you write it, please make sure to be as self-indulgent as possible, because why not? That's what fic writing is supposed to be, not "If you write this, you're clearly a terrible person and probably a pedophile."

So yeah, there's a lot going on in personal and fandom life and I'm exhausted and burnt-out, but there have also been awesome people like you and so many others along the way. I hope that you remember that, too, when your workload increases. Things can get nasty and frustrating but it's never an absolute scenario: there's always awesome, supportive people and there are always moments where you can catch your breath.

Thank you very much for this ask. <3 I'm currently working on ficcage now... slowly but surely.

#personal #random #rant #fandom culture #i have no idea how to tag this #tw: cancer #need more coffee and chocolate #or just a vacation

[bronzeagepizzeria]

Get To Know Me

Thank you for the tag, @demdifferentstories-29 !

What is your name? Niyati

For how long have you had this account? since 2018, i think? only started using it during the pandemic though

Favourite food? i have a massive sweet tooth, so anything sweet, really. also pizza

Favourite drink? i don't drink anything interesting xD just water and even then a bitch is severely dehydrated

Do you have any siblings? yes, one older sister

Do you have pets? yessss i've got three cats!!

How old are you? 19

How many languages do you know? i'd say i'm most comfortable in english, but i can speak hindi fluently as well. i understand tamil entirely and sort of understand marathi + a few words of kannada bc i lived in bangalore for 13 years

What's your all-time favourite movie/tv show? fav movie has got to be the godfather part ii. i've watched it a million times. fav show will forever be game of thrones, no matter how badly it crashed and burned. i really imprinted on that shit lol

What are you enjoying to do in your free time? read fic hahaha. or watch movies. recently i haven't managed to watch anything except reels on instagram though, send help

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? mostly an introvert, but i think i'm just bad at small talk. i don't have issues with public speaking or anything, and i can talk about stuff i'm interested in for hours and hours to virtual strangers xD

Your favourite music genres? i don't listen to a lot of english music tbh! i'd say pop? mostly i just listen to film soundtracks and bollywood songs

Your dream place to visit? i used to be fuckin OBSESSED with australia as a child so i hope to still go there? but i'd like to visit all over, really. i haven't travelled much. definitely wanna experience living in the US/UK for a while. i plan to do my post-grad abroad

Something you wish you were better at? not procrastinating. it's a serious problem

How long do you take to respond to texts? immediately lol. sometimes i respond to ao3 comments within minutes, which must freak people out

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would like to? nope. look in theory it's a cool idea but i'm famously indecisive and if i can't even settle on a pfp for more than a month i just know i'm gonna pick a tattoo and end up fucking hating it

What's your sexuality? straight

Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book? i don't read much anymore, unfortunately. but i want to get back into it

Have you ever been in love before? ehhh no. i usually just trick myself into liking someone i suspect likes me lol

What's your relationship status? single

Have you ever been heartbroken? nah

Best memory you could think of? this question is super hard for me lol. recently my roommate and i did an hp rewatch and she asked me what memory i would rely on for my patronus and...i literally do not know. like i've had a decently happy life, but nothing stands out, you know? there isn't any one instance i can think of like that

Worst memory you can think of? same thing again. my 2023 has been so fucking bad it's not even sad to me anymore i just find it genuinely funny. but it hasn't been all bad either? i really don't know if i've just repressed my emotions for this year or if i'm over it already lol. maybe it'll come back to bite me in the arse later

Do you have any fears? moths and butterflies (i don't discriminate) i also don't like small birds/plants that are beginning to dry up/balloons losing air. i was a weird kid

Are you a morning or a night person? oh, night definitely. i spent the entirety of last year getting like 2hrs of sleep a night and napping during class

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 5001 + my icloud has not been backed up in 462 days

Who was your favourite childhood crush? first guy i ever liked was shahid kapoor. first guy i actively fantasized about etc has got to be chris evans. the captain america movies were my personality for a long time in middle school lmao

Are you a romantic? hmm i don't think so. i have pretty old-fashioned tastes when it comes to love and romance i guess, but i think i'm more of a cynic

What’s your dream date? showing my s/o movies/shows that i love. honestly that's my love language

What are your hobbies? i draw a little, watch movies, read fic. i used to play professional-level badminton but that hasn't been fun for me in a long time :(

Tagging: if you read all the way and you feel like it, go ahead!

#tag game

[denimbex1986]

"That's Chris' ambition; is to entertain people. He's managed to kind of fit several different genres into this picture as a, you know -you can say it's a biopic but it's not a conventional biopic, you can say it's a thriller, it also has horror elements to it, so I think he's kind of trojan horsed a lot of these different genres in, into the movie."

"I don't know how you tell this, this story and not have it be disturbing; I mean it's an incredibly disturbing story. It's, it's kind of amazing - the second you start to engage with it, you think like: 'Why am I, why am I - how am I thinking about anything else ever? Like, how are we getting on with our days and how have we been for the last eighty years?'"

"I think he was very aware that what he was saying was the absolute truth, and when you say a line like that when it's the truth, you just completely commit to it. And it was a rage that he felt that these scientists - he felt like they were children in a lot of ways; they were brilliant, but Groves was brilliant as well. He, he needed these guys but they were so different in their world philosophies right - the military was, was absolutely obsessed with secrecy and compartmentalization and everything's on a need-to-know basis. And that was for a very good reason; there were spies, there were people trying to steal this information, this was about the life and death of the human species, this - there's nothing more important. It is the most important thing to happen in the history of the world."

"Yeah, it was manifold; I did, I had about six months; I could, I would if I could've, taken more. There's so many different elements, you know, there's the, there's the, there's all the stuff that exists online - all the videos of him; there's so much, texts and books and academic pieces on him. But ultimately, the script is your primary resource, always. I kind of started from the outside in with him; you know like, we really wanted to get the silhouette right and the voice right and the, and the physicality right - a lot of work with hair and make-up and costume. So it was a long process, but I worked very, very closely with Chris the whole time."

"He's mesmerizing."

"One of the best performances I've ever seen; it really is phenomenal. And the only time I think you get performances that are that good is when a director is that clear about they need and an actor goes there and is that locked in for months and months and months. And the two of them together, watching them build this character, it's why the whole movie works."

"So moving."

"Yeah and it's, it's, just - it's, it's an awesome piece of work and it's - it was, it was really, really a privilege to watch the two of them."

"He's so rare because, you know, he's - he's as delicate as he is powerful. You know, he's just an extraordinary actor and Oppenheimer was enigmatic and he wasn't - there was an ambiguity to the character that Cillian managed to laser into and it just keeps you leaning in. I can't imagine what a sort of titanic undertaking it must have felt like for him, and it's why he never hung out with us. He was just in room eating almonds -"

"We invited him to dinner every night and he never came once."

"I just don't think he had anything left in the tank."

"He had nothing left in the tank. He also wasn't eating because he was losing weight; I mean -"

"Yeah."

"I mean, Cillian's a naturally thin guy, but he had to look even, yeah, even thinner."

"Oppenheimer didn't eat; he just smoked cigarettes and drank, and I don't think Cillian drank - "

"Nor, nor did he smoke, he just didn't eat anything."

" - and I don't think he smoked cigarettes, he just - he just ate almonds."

"Oh man, I mean it's - it's a little overwhelming really. I mean, you know, we've known each other twenty years, we've made six films together, but you know; to be given the chance to play the lead in one, of of the greatest directors in the world, in one of their films, which I think it could possibly be his magnum opus, it's - it's a gift man. A total gift. Yeah."

"Yeah well apparently the people that are seeing it are kind of devastated and speechless and then, and then everyone really wants to talk about it. And I had; I watched it - I didn't watch it on IMAX - I will, but I had the same experience. You know, I was kind of winded and; because it kind of grabs you by the throat from the beginning and then it just doesn't let up. I love that in, in films; that's what I want from films - is that it alters you in some way emotionally."

"I think the decision that Chris made to tell it, even - even when you read the script, it was written in the first person - so instead normally you read a script and it's like: 'Oppenheimer walked across a room, Oppenheimer did this', but it, it was all like: 'I did this and I saw this, and then I saw him across the room and then the lights started hitting me' and like - it was just so traumatic being him. And you felt that when you read the script, and you feel that when you watch the film; it's so internal."

"Well it was a shocker to read it, you know, because it was all written in the first person. I'd never read a script like that before, so I knew then that it was gonna really; he wanted to put the audience very much kind of on Oppenheimer's shoulder, to have them right there to exp - to be experiencing what Oppenheimer's experiencing as, as we go through the film; which is an amazing device. You know, and then, he then uses the kind of objective through Strauss' character, which is used - I think he's used that device in Mem, in Memento again, in the past, but I think it's, it's very clever; again in telling what could be a conventional biopic, he tells it in an unconventional and stimulating kind of way."

#Oppenheimer #Cillian Murphy #Emily Blunt #Matt Damon #Memento #Christopher Nolan #Youtube

[coralsgrimes]

So I’m honestly asking because I have no clue what you are referring to. Why do you hate Ben Barnes so much? You seem to keep referring to things he did but you didn’t say what. I’m confused but I really have no idea what these bad things are and would like to find out.

Ye really do make me typing like a madman today lol

Said it a million times and I don't hate Benny Boy. Imma just disappointed and also hate is a strong word and I neither have the time nor am I 12 to hate someone online lol

I don't say what he was fucking up cuz this blog is mostly our own lil pond and I generally assume that everyone swimming here should know by now x.x also I've been repeating myself over and over about all of this shite. Scroll waaaay down lol

But since I'm typing...

So the thingies that I personally find to be hurtful, the fangirls been putting a flaming sword up me ass when I mention them. Can ye believe???

The first thing is obvi the half naked photoshoot in a pool, with a minor! which he called romantic! done by a photographer who he called his friend and who also photographed Sofia Richie aged 14/15 like she was a on a cover of the hustler.

Then we have his ongoing association, PUBLIC ASSOCIATION, with a circle of friends that includes scientologist, racists, sex pests, people protecting and vouching for the sex pests some of them currently on trial, also women who engage in victim blaming publicly, and not so surprisingly a cult leader wannabes are in that crowd as well. And again, this are not some fandom connect the dots allegations. This is all a open public we been friends for years said out loud.

And the next thing, that me thinks had broken the Benny spell completely, was his 'crisis in Ukraine' insta post from last April (featuring choose love... cuz why not). The obvious months wait for a fucking t-shirt to arrive, sunny day happy photoshoot and advertisement friendly language so that instagram won't cut his visibility so everyone could see what a great chap he is! The bare minimum, the bad taste, the quick edit of the post after he been called out and obvi the radio silence since.

Oh coral but it's not like he the worst person in the fucking world. Like no he's not but the picture he tries to paint of himself is cracking and showing how fucking fake it is... No surprise tho he a celebrity and british after all x.x

In other thingies, he obvi a bestie with Jules who i have personal beef with completely outside of Benny.

Speaking of her, the very possible possibility that he been having an affair with a married woman is kind of wow okay something if ye ask me. Then we have his music which should be classified as a dangerous especially for aquatic life (🪸), young and elderly and everyone else.

Yesh I know celebs are fake but he is just... The fakest at this point?? Like so obviously fake without a drop of genuine intentions, just doing this to secure his cushy life.

Oh and while we still at around twin flames orbit. The pandemic... Stay home be a good boy, but not me!! I am Benjamin Barnes and I shall do the opposite and then gaslight gatekeep...

I can go into/list more irks honestly but that's just ye know being petty and cherry picking kind of. Ye know I say I hate his look at me imma an activist reposts but other peeps are glad he 'spoken out' about the issue. Then there are his fandom games and basically begging his fangirls to baby him like when he's called out... He can't take responsibility for anything (pandemic travel anyone??) and he won't take direct and decisive stand on anything ever (not even saying world issues, I mean his so called FEMALE friends that needed strong public support but he stayed silent) cuz as long as he is bland and pleases everyone he is cool he is safe.

And at the end of the day what he does is he covers up, avoids and baits with something else hoping that the air clears. Here we should look at his 'brother' Chris D'Elia. He was sniffing around him at a time he was assaulting several women, Benny at the same time was dating a wannabe model in her early 20s... Allegations about D'Elia circled around for years but no one dared to speak loudly cuz he was SOMEONE. Then shit hits the fan and what our dear boy Benny does??? He, with a speed of a lightning, deletes covers up blocks gets rid off any obvious connection to his so called brother. Case closed.

Also like his enormous ego and the obsession to cover up his private life like crazy, that kinda sus and not healthy I want a private life but again it's just me lol

Would link me old posts but I'm on the mobile app and it's like so hard to find all that shite. There are more details in them old posts if ye as interested. But this is the crash course into Benny Boy by Coral lol

[demonfox38]

Completed - Resident Evil 4

Take me away, magical jet ski.

So, remakes, right? I've rarely ever heard of people being gung-ho for them. I mean, let's face it—they're often times a cash grab based on a pre-existing product's reputation. Granted, some work out! I've heard good things about the "Resident Evil 2" remake, for one. With the "Resident Evil 4" remake coming up in a month, I wanted to give that game the time I gave "Resident Evil 2" prior to its remake. Ya know. Pay homage.

But, there's often a question that comes up with these. "Why are they remaking Product X? It's already perfect!" And "Resident Evil 4" is a golden child of gaming, right? So, would it be pointless or shameful to redo?

Honestly, I might be for giving this game a spit-shine.

"Resident Evil 4" is ostensibly a survival horror game originally released in 2005 for the Nintendo GameCube. (And yes, you absolutely heard something get loaded in that last sentence!) Originally developed as a member of the group of games collectively referred to as the Capcom Five, it went through several iterations before its final launch, one of which spawned the lead title for the "Devil May Cry" series. Since its initial release, it's become available on pretty much every major console and computer. Like, I saw somewhere between 12-14 versions of this game online. The damn thing is everywhere (much to the chagrin of its lead director.) Due to its intense, varied gameplay, breadth of access, and campy nature, the game is one of the best awarded titles out of the entire "Resident Evil" series, if not at large.

Leon Scott Kennedy returns as the lead, having managed to score a series of secretive government gigs since his one day on the job in the Raccoon City Police Department. In "Resident Evil 4", he has been promoted to the role of guardian for Ashley Graham, the daughter of the United States president. Unfortunately for him, that doesn't mean shuffling around the bushes on some Ivy League campus. Catapulted into rural Spain, Mr. Kennedy is charged with recovering Ashley from her captors, a mysterious cult calling itself Los Illuminados. Obviously, things get complicated. Then, gross. But, hell. He's learned a few things since his Raccoon City days. If anyone can handle an international incident resulting in the slaughter of 800+ people—

Man, this really should have been Chris Redfield's job, shouldn't it? Especially since he's been in every damn military division. Guess he had more questionable things to do elsewhere…

Mr. Kennedy scrapes his way upwards through the game through a combination of scrounging for items and bartering with a mysterious merchant. A variety of weapons is made available for his use, including automatic pistols, revolvers, shotguns, rifles, submachine guns, and grenades. Accompanying his firepower is a series of melee attacks, including knifing, kicking, and coolest of all, suplexing. A healthy mixture of styles is best for proceeding through the game, but the player should be able to pick a couple of weapons to max out, then plow ahead. Ya know. Assuming good item rationing and a keen eye for antique pick-ups.  

Does this make Mr. Kennedy too overpowered?

Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

For all of his newfound machismo, Leon feels frailer than his first days. Dude can get knocked off the mortal coil with as little as two swings in the beginning of the game. That's nothing to say about the assholes with chainsaws and the quick-time events. Proper use of herb mixing can help toughen him up, but even that has to be properly minded. Mix too many ingredients together at the beginning, and you can end up wasting precious Red Herbs in situations where a single Green would suffice.

Honestly, there's a lot about the early gameplay that can feel infuriating the first time you put hand to controller in this game. Like, we all know about shooting zombies in the head, right? Zombie Dispatching 101. Well, we're explicitly not dealing with zombies, here. If you're using a pistol, a Ganado's head is going to take a random number of shots to pop. After Chapter 1-3, head popping can be a problem, as it means an enemy might randomly spawn a Las Plagas for their head. And man, those bastards! They can do anything from cutting Leon into steaklets to instant decapitation.

If you hate Leon and want to see him die a lot, then man, this is the game for you.

One of the best tricks you can learn in this game is figuring out how to use firearms to trigger melee attacks. If you're up against a humanoid, you'll want to aim at their feet. Getting a combatant in a staggered position offers the ability to kick them for extra damage or potentially even instakill them with a suplex (in Chapter 3-1 and beyond.) Even knocking them on the ground opens them up to slash attacks with your knife. And hell, might as well! Gotta do whatever you can to save your ammo!

You know what mechanic I instantly and consistently enjoyed? Protecting Ashley. Like, oh my God. As far as unarmed civilians go? She's perfect. She'll listen to your commands (stop, follow, hop into a dumpster). Whenever possible, she's right behind you. If you open fire, she ducks. I never had an issue guarding her. (Okay, things got a little dicey in Chapter 5-2, but she was operating a bulldozer at the time. Nothing a Florentine omelet couldn't fix.)

Man, I've had bad escort missions. Go see "Nanobreaker" for details. Ashley was a goddamn delight. Like, honestly. Don't marry anyone that bitches about "Resident Evil 4"'s escort levels. They're just gonna be sloppy and inconsiderate.

Now, I'm not saying that Ashley is a perfect character. Girl clearly looks like what a Japanese guy thought an American high school student would look like (despite being a junior in college?). The game's audio mixer could have varied her cries, too. Still! Pro-Ashley here. Loving the new ascot.

Honestly, the leading cast is great, in a B-movie kind of way. Leon's an overcompensating putz, but he means well. Ada's back and still leading Leon around on a leash. Luis Cera continues to be great well past his contributions to the plot. The merchant is so fucking weird and cool that he goes on to be referenced by other merchants for being so fucking weird and cool. All good!

I'm a little on the fence about the villain side of the house. (Does including Ada in the first paragraph imply some kind of heroism that isn't really there? Eh, let's not think too much about it.) Saddler and Mendez aren't that much to write home about, although Saddler's constant mugging can be amusing. Krauser's got a very stabable persona. If anyone's getting talked about from this cast, it's probably Ramón Salazar. Kind of hard to ignore a Plagas-infected castellan with both a Napoleon complex and achondroplasia. Like, it's almost amazing he could get infected, if Las Plagas couldn't handle being in children.

Look, man. I think it'd be cool if Sr. Salazar had dwarfism for some artsy reason like production staff having knowledge of the Diego Velázquez painting "Las Meninas." I mean, that's one of the most notable Spanish paintings. It's not entirely impossible that someone saw that and went, "You know what our game needs?" Something a little more elevated than, "LOL, angry little person."

Then again, I'm talking about the series with one villain who dresses as his sister and…like…just everything about that swamp part from "Resident Evil 5." I mean, there could be a red circle around that whole damn game, but that part in particular…

Anyway.

Audio's good. Music is effective. I was particularly taken aback by the sequence with the Novistadors and how off-putting their music is. Regenerator breathing can also stand up the hairs on the back of your neck. Not that having a villager screaming at you as they come in swinging an axe is relaxing, by any means. I think I like the "Resident Evil 3" soundtrack more than this one, but for what it needs to do, the audio does well.

When the game frees itself from standard undead fair, the monster design is varied, but unified. Its all vaguely insect-like, but in gross, new ways! Like, centipedes and spiders coming out of people's heads. Or, parasites popping out of people's spines. Hell, some of the creepy little bastards even figured out how to puppet armor around. Even the final boss is like a giant- eyeball-riddled spider dragging its initial body around like so much vestigial nonsense. Good! Gross!

Exhausting.

My evaluation of this game would not be complete if I didn't talk about the weird physical reaction I had to it. Like, okay. Sometimes, playing video games hurts. Ya don't go over an hour with "Kid Icarus Uprising" without developing some mid-palm pain. Sometimes, my heart rate increases. That's okay, too! A good round of "Star Fox 64" always ends with my blood pumping. But, what I had with "Resident Evil 4"? That was new.

At first, I thought it was just an average winter chill. Like, I don't always dry my hair right away after a shower, so sometimes, I get a little cold. I got this weird shivering post the Del Lago fight, and I thought, "Okay. Better go dry my hair." But, the shivering kept happening night after night, no matter how warm or cold I was. My shoulder muscles would cramp up. My pulse was going as hard as if I had just spent 30 minutes on an elliptical. I was sweaty on my palms, my feet, my armpits. The thought of continuing to play wasn't so much out of fun as it was an obligation. Even beating the game didn't feel good. I just folded myself up until the credits were done, saved the game, and shut down.

I don't know what that reaction was about. All I know is that it didn't feel good. I hesitate to call it an anxiety attack or a panic attack, but something was definitely wrong.

Look. I've played other survival horror games. I've beaten "Silent Hill", "Silent Hill 2", and "Resident Evil 2." Like, the non DualShock version, even. I'm a veteran when it comes to "Castlevania" titles. Icky squicky monsters are fine by me! On the more aggressive side of things, I love rail shooters. Like, half of my Wii library contains games like "House of the Dead: Overkill", "Sin & Punishment: Star Successor", and "Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles." There have been times in my life where I ran "Left 4 Dead" and "Modern Warfare 2" maps on a weekly basis. I can do the shooty thing, too.

Where "Resident Evil 4" tripped me up is in its gameplay combination. It's framed as a survival horror game, but so many of its set pieces are about shooting the shit out of everything that moves. Unless you have a guide in your lap, you might not know where your next box of ammo will be. (Or, hell, if there even will be one. The game's an adaptive bitch like that.) Having to plan around lacking resources is exhausting. I could only hold it up an hour and a half at a time. And for a game that took me over 15 hours to beat, that meant a lot of downtime between sessions, being frustrated with my progress, and worrying about what I was doing wrong.

This game is what I'd like to call a "Type A Killer." If you're neurotic about doing things wrong—if you worry about missing something—if you think you can do something better if you try it one more time—these are all thought traps that will wear you down. Like, yeah, you've got to mind your hits and keep Leon from getting blasted seventeen ways to Sunday, but fretting too much about this will physically hurt you. God forbid you pay too much attention to your death counter! That's gonna be the final nail in your coffin!

Honestly, it seems like going full aggro and nose-pickingly stupid works more often than not. Which, hell. It's not like you have to put too many braincells into the puzzle solving for this game. (One of the solutions is literally 1-2-3-4. I swear to God!)

The biggest epiphany I had about "Resident Evil 4" came while I was playing "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge" with @jeannettegray. Like, this was the first video game break I had from "Resident Evil 4" in over three weeks. I found myself smiling and enjoying myself, and that caught me off guard. Here I was, with this teeny-tiny game, just screwing around and high-fiving people and whacking robots with a big stick. And those few little hours brought me more joy than this entire masterpiece of a game!

I did like a few parts of "Resident Evil 4." Anytime where the game would slow down and let you soak in the atmosphere was enjoyable, particularly with creepy, cool corridors like the first Novistador room and the Regenerator areas. Salvador's Castle is quite beautiful, too. And hell. There were even times where I felt like a fucking badass, particularly when it came to kicking three dudes down a hill or liquifying five brains with a shotgun blast. But, God. Did this game physically and emotionally wreck me.

Now, I should mention that I was playing a Player's Choice edition of "Resident Evil 4" for the GameCube. From what I've heard, the GameCube version of this game is the bitchiest. Common reported factors include lower-powered weapons, more aggressive enemies, and less money to spend. Given that this was Shinji Mikami's original vision for the game, it may be considered the closest to his wishes, if you wish to pay the game's director some respect. The NTSC GameCube version also has its deaths uncensored, so that may make it even more authentic. However, most of the people I've seen play this game online are using either the PC or some kind of PlayStation console variant. Hell, I even put in a couple of hours with the Wii version of this game, and I can confirm that that version is way fucking easier. Like, from 70% accuracy to 87% accuracy improvement.

If you're set on playing it, then do as you please. But, I just wanted to let you know what version I was on. Hopefully, that will explain some ouchiness I have towards it, too. Although, even speed runners of this game will reset it constantly. Even mid presentation! It's just that kind of a monster.

#post game evaluation #resident evil 4