#i know a lot of people already know about this but I cant get over it for some reason

[matchakuracat]

chronically ill/physically disabled people, how do you deal with doctors appointments? what do you say/do to advocate for yourself? im autistic and not diagnosed with a chronic illness yet and i really struggle to know what to say to get them to listen to me and understand so that i can get the help and care i need. even if i bring someone with me, they also need to know what to say and i don't know anyone who understands well enough to explain to the doctor for me, which means that i have to tell them what to say before going. but that's the problem since i just don't know.

i have chronic joint pain that ive had for years but has only gotten worse over time. i also have hypermobile knees which are the worse they've ever been right now. i'm chronically fatigued and barely have the energy to eat and do basic hygiene. i have a few friends that i talk to fairly regularly and im very thankful for them but i still struggle so much with maintaining a social life when i cant even maintain my own physical wellbeing. i only go outside when i absolutely have to/when my pain is low enough and i have enough energy. on average i probably leave my house about once or twice a week, usually to go to medical appointments, to an internship i have once a week or to go grocery shopping. i usually try to do both at the same time if i can (like going grocery shopping after my internship) but most of the time i have to ask my parents to get me groceries since i dont have enough energy to. all i want is to be able to go outside just to take short walks and enjoy nature and the fresh air but i can't do so without the right treatment/a mobility aid. everything im doing right now is bordering the line of too much. im constantly tired and overwhelmed and everything feels like a struggle, even the smallest tasks most people do everyday without thinking twice about it.

i have almost only had bad experiences with doctors and other medical professionals like physiotherapists, which has given me a lot of extra anxiety on top of my already pretty bad social anxiety. i really struggle to make appointments and even more so to go to them, and when i bring myself to do so i really struggle to express myself and explain how i feel and how i want them to help me. i almost always get shut down and offered no actual help with any of my problems. i just don't know what to do anymore.

if anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate it. i know that i can't give up because my life right now without accommodations is too miserable, but i also don't know how to move forward.

sorry if this was hard to understand. i really tried my best to explain but im having a bit of a hard time expressing myself right now due to feeling worse than usual.

#chronically ill #chronic illness #autistic #actually autistic #physical disability #physically disabled #mentally and physically tired #chronic illnesses #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #undiagnosed chronic illness #undiagnosed chronic pain #cripplepunk #crip punk #cripple punk #chronic illness rant #disabled #actually disabled #disabled rant #mobility aid #mobility aids #medical gaslighting #doctors appointment

[bobafish]

so basically...

#i know a lot of people already know about this but I cant get over it for some reason #them <33333 #snufmin #thingumy and bob #moomin #90s moomin #snufkin

[sneez]

corvin

[id: two digital drawings of corvus from the video game paladins. he is a pale-skinned young man wearing a red and black caped coat with the collar pulled up over his mouth, and has brown hair with a white streak. the first image is a portrait of him from the shoulders up alongside a full-body drawing. text beside it reads 'guy who really needs to stim but isnt letting himself so hes just standing about looking intensely uncomfortable'. the second image is a full-body drawing of him holding his pistol and knife in an action pose against a background of scenery from the game. overlayed text reads 'I'M JOINING THE WAR AGAINST AUTISM ON THE SIDE OF THE AUTISM'. end id. ]

#paladins champions of the realm #pcotr #how do i tag him he doesnt have a surname does he. or does he <- guy who doesnt know the lore #paladins corvus #that should do it. im a tagging master #anyway i have been playing more paladins than is good for my health recently and i love this guy a lot #i love For The Greater Good characters especially when they are extremely autism also #it makes me so sad that so many people hate him. i mean i get why but also Hes fun :( and sillay #my entire perspective on him changed once i realised he was autistic (which was almost immediately tbf) #everything made sense. enlightenment #anyway i cant decide if i would recommend paladins because it has kind of ruined my brain and also my sleep #schedule but if any of you already play it/play it in the future im VictorKain over there :-) #can you guess who i main. anyway feel free to friend me (altho i wont know who you are unless you message me first) #i hope you are all doing well my friends! i still have some things to answer im sorry about that i am a slow beaft #i love you all very much. kiss you on head #artwork

[lesbiradshaw]

just started thinking about bradley as a teenager struggling with his emotions both pre and post his mother’s death/fall out with maverick but not wanting to reach out for help because a history of mental health problems can get you disqualified from enlisting in the service. happy saturday guys.

#that boy should have been in therapy from ages 2 on up like. #i def hc that carole took him to someone when he was younger but bradley probably stopped going once he was older and was given the choice #but like. idk. picturing carole trying to bring up him going back after she gets sick because she KNOWS he needs to talk to someone #and maverick cant be there all the time. but bradley says no because hes a teenager and hes started thinking about how to make himself + #appealing to the navy and that opens a whole other can of worms where carole sees that but doesnt want to deny him #because she can see hes already having a hard time with things as they are. #mav trying to convince him to go and bradley pointing out it’s hypocritical because maverick doesnt like talking about his feelings either #i just think people ignore his trauma So Much. they only pay attention to the maverick and goose bits #but they fail to consider how even before the maverick stuff happened bradley had a lot to deal with from a very young age #he spent most of his life on his own! he lost the people he loved most OVER and OVER… #the amount of trauma that must have come flooding back when phoenix (&bob but phoenix is clearly bradleys closest friend) had to eject #i think thats why people painting him as angry & agressive because of the scene where he yells at mav never sits right w me #that moment is so incredibly raw for both of them. bradley lashing out when hes just been triggered is not that surprising???? #anyways. #carolcore #bradley rooster bradshaw

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.

Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.

Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.

#a biscuit's rambles #also i just love going out with friends til late?? #with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great #also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe #idk #i also like my bike. a lot #been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets #EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE #AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY #LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT #A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY #AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU #ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!! #and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS #MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN #ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER #fun fact i have been run over before #just fuckin collided with a car #nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt #which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol #though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL #also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY #AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS #I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK #AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE #THROUGH MYSELF #im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

[gibbearish]

hey @humans saw yall responded to a post making fun of you for updating the pixel alignment of a dash icon rather than fixing anything important saying "changes like this feel small but can make a big difference for some people" which is a bullshit cop out if ive ever heard one so im here to tell you directly in a way you cant wiggle out: you know what would actually make a big difference for a LOT of people? not being transphobic assholes

#that response was so deeply annoying to me like they couldve been like 'yeah its not big but it was technically an update #so we had to include it in the update report' but they tried to frame it as 'well ackshully everyone was BEGGING us to perfecltly #align this pixel so youre WELCOME' and its like. man fuck off you dont get to throw a fit that your userbase is pissed off about #repeated blatent bigotry and then try to act like youre doing us a favor moving an icon a smidge #yall know exactly what the users want you to do to improve this site and are ignoring it because you dont actually give a shit #but you cant say that bit out loud so you have to keep talking circles around it because you know the dirty queers are the main people #keeping your site the tiny bit afloat it still is but are unwilling to actually treat us well so you have to #talk in circles and pretend you give a shit and hype up minor updates like theyre godsend while fucking over trans people anyway #anyways i hope the transphobe on staff is the one who opens this tag notification #just kidding thats all of them because if youre willing to keep a transphobe on your team and allow them to make changes #that directly target lgbt people then you are all transphobes #whats that saying thats like 'if you have 3 nazis and 9 regular men at a table you have 12 nazis'? that #i dont actually expect them to respond to this post bc like. theyre obviously already aware people are mad about this and have just been #avoiding the subject especially if PIXEL ADJUSTMENT is something theyre responding to instead but #w/e #also moving an icon slightly does not make a big difference for anyone sorry not sorry i guarantee if it hadnt been #included in the updates post not a single person would have noticed or cared #they just need something to pad their uodates post out with so people hopefully eont notice the glaring lack #of 'fired the transphobe' 'unblocked queer tags' 'turned off the image filter that targets trans women a lot for some weird reason'

[qumiiiquinnquin]

ill never be good enough at anything

#vent #events of today only proved it #im genuinely so close to giving up completely #i dont feel happy when I draw because I know its not good enough and im ashamed when others see it because I know they think the same thing #I dont feel satisfied or accomplished when finishing schoolwork because I know others will have done it better and responded better and im #the stupidest person of the entire class. some things I just dont understand but I know everyone else or lots of others did #i cant do anything right. i cant socialize correctly. i cant remember to do anything. i cant keep any stable relationships #i know if i get a job they'll ly me off or fire me within days max weeks. i dont expect to be able to hold down a job for long #i dont have the skills necessary to become what I want to be which is a meteorologist. i struggle in math and that career is a lot of math #i actually want to be an artist too but ill die a lonely death. i cant even do this class. and artists are not paid enough to survive #hell what I do right now with art in my spare time is much worse than others. a mouse and microsoft paint. both arent good enough #i cant not compare myself to others. i know that they're all better than me. and im around these people every day and see it on social medi #i really want to put my art in our shredder and permanently delete files. i want to drop out. i dont know what to do with myself because i #know that im not good enough for anything except lay in bed like the depressed piece of shit i am and end up getting kicked out #i thought about just leaving class today and throwing myself down the stairwell from the top floor i was already on #just over the barrier thats right next to the first flight of stairs that prevents people from falling off the stairs from a height #the one you can look down and see the following flight of stairs. just throw myself down from that and hurt myself significantly. #ive been thinking about jumping again. from a new part of campus thats higher than where i initially wanted to fall from #if not those then sl!t my wrist or run into traffic #i just need to d!e. There's no room for someone as worthless as me #i cried when I came home today because im just done. i cant carry on and itd be better if i didnt. itd be preferred.

[guinevereslancelot]

actually applied for a job im a bit optimistic abt 🙏

#i already applied to the same place over christmas and had a really good phone interview like two weeks ago and then never heard back #but the interviewer really liked me i think and its a good location and i like the sound of this job a lot and its hiring full and part tim #it sounds easy and maybe even fun? ish? it sounds like something i would be good at anyway #basically being a companion to residents at a nursing home #like taking them on their daily walk and keeping them entertained lol #and helping with some educational stuff #i can def do that i used to do it with disabled kids it was super easy and also old people love me lol #as long as they actually hire me lol #this is thr first job i've been excited about in a while #but i was excited about the last one and it was terrible so....lol #but i hope i get it then at least i'll know #and it probably cant be as bad as the last one anyway so i could tough it out for a while until i got something better tbh #but hopefully it will be good #pay isn't the absolute greatest but i could do it for the convenience of the location and a job thag doesn't suck #at least for a while #anyway i hope i get it!! 🙏 #this has been a shitpost #anyway before i applied for part time receptionist at the same place and didn't get it but this is a better sounding job #and they're hiring full and part time so possibly multiple positions? #and i have more relevant experience for this one

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 7

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)

Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.

Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT

Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..

Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )

Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V

Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)

Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..

Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..

#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public #declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now #just want to do worldbuilding I want to work on the language I want to do these sorts of things #furstrating to just walk around in a haze all day unable to focus on mental tasks like that #One of the most important things in my entire life actually is being able to think about little elves and magic and etc. #annoying to have multiple days in a row where I make very little progress on that aside from thinking of a few little story #ideas or something here and there. I should have had the text translated already and finished the worldbuilding slideshow #already and made a game set in my world already and so on and so forth.. grr #There's another upcoming heatwave again and summer is soon so I think it will only get worsw #the more often I feel warm and sick or cant sleep due to the temperature etc. #But I am trying to catch up somehow.. a little.. lol #I think it's very common to feel like you're not making enough progress in life on the things that matter the most to you #especially during capitalism and with low income and mental/physical health issues and during a still ongoing pandemic #threat and etc. etc. etc. like.. Logically I get it and I know it's not something to be too worked up over because that's just how #probably half of the population feels at all times especially people who are in similar situations to me #but still.. my brain is like Yes i know the facts of the situation No i do not care #if someone else came to me like 'ough Im feeling so unproductive for xyz reason' I'd reassure them and talk about how #it's situational and a lot of people feel that way and it's the system we live in and blah blah #but when it's ME it's like.. No.. This Situation Is Different Of Course. Surely It Is Much More Terrible #If You Haven't Finished Your Entire ToDo List By The End Of The Week Then The World Will Explode #ANYWAY.. #daily log

[hearties-circus]

Hate how all my motor functions and sight just fuck off when I get tired

#gamer txt. #my eyesight gets worse im more prone to headaches walking is more of a chore and i become significantly more stumbly #i dont trust myself to walk up stairs without holding onto a railing but i get tired and pulling myself up with the railing is not possible #i just slam myself into the side of a wall and hope my not holding onto anything wont fuck me when i inevitably stumble #twice today ive stood up and immediately fallen back down wnd had to take a moment to try again #the last time that happened was during the punishment when i was literally too physically weak to do it! what the fuck is my body doing?? #i know i talk about my little penguin waddle in a humorous way but it is so upsetting that that is the only fuvking way i can walk safely #and even then i still stumble sometimes! the danger control is just easier #its noticeable and people dont take me seriously because im legitimately waddling and it sucks bc i just dont want to hurt myself #and when i walk normal my legs constantly veer off and get in eachothers way and that also looks stupid #but i genuinely cant fucking do anything about it and i cant walk fast bc i Cant and bc when i try i become more accident prone #and then i get tired and my already poor motor skills just shut the fuck off #i keep thinking im going to fall down the stairs and i keep nearly doing it via stumbling or suddenly losing balance #oh! and my balance! it used to be so good now i fucking fall over when im just standing still! what the fuck is thst about?? #why the hell am i going to a crowded public place that requires a lot of walking tomorrow #i really really didnt think about tgat did i #vent #ig? #sorry i just. i remember that i never used to think about how i move and i get really upset that now i have to or i hurt myself #although ive gotten better about veering off into door frames so. thats something

[maplewozapi]

I should have known if I brought up wc I’d have to talk about. But it includes of a lot of issues with feral/furry designs that use feathers in hair. I don’t necessarily know why the conversation only started and stayed in the wc fandom when horse/wolf/lion feral fandoms are still doing the same thing.

Now having feathers in the design isn’t a racial attack first thing off because there’s a lot of context around what feather’s are used, the shape, and where they are placed. If the look is anything like "rave Coachella looking tribal fantasy feathers and beads" it’s probably insensitive. I’m not to sure why it has to be feathers, I honestly think the wc fandom are holding themselves back when it comes to forwarding designs in a unique way. Tail feathers are also left out in this conversation as well, one or two feathers or feathers in the shape of a birds tail are fine but bunched together feathers are leaning to close to how we have our horses wear feathers. This is in the context of the design already looking like a "medicine cat" already its bad. it’s like those yt girls wear feather head bands but animal addition.

I’ve talked about this before but silhouettes are so important, like Native American stereotypes are on the global scale you cannot escape this silhouette you just have to avoid it. There’s no "but it’s in so many other cultures" no it’s not it’s totally unique to our people that’s why people flock to it because it’s so "mysterious, sacred" whatever their weird twisted up reason is. There’s so many unique ways to break this silhouette you just gotta be more creative. And I feel like instead of being more creative and coming up with totally different ideas it’s just easier to lean on these visual native stereotypes to get across "wild mythical nature fantasy"

I could get into the horse fandom and the weird situations they’re doing over there but that’s another crazy thing. I should say because someone will ask, ostrich feathers on like show horses or knights or puss in boots style is fine not the same thing (breaking the silhouette) they’re not related.

And it comes down to understanding what you are drawing and where this imagery comes from, I’m not gonna get my feelings hurt because of your design but I’ll question why are you drawing stuff like that. You cant remove that cultural/stereotypical imagery, and if you don’t care about it then you don’t care about the history or how it looks on your character and art.

I made it this far on the internet but if you want to be conscious about these things good on yea it doesn’t take much☺️👍

Edit: can’t believe I gotta say this but yes other cultures utilize feathers, if people are using feathers that are used in their culture then don’t harass them. That’s weird have some common sense. Ostrich feathers, peacock feathers it’s actually so interesting how native birds to an area affect the culture there.

#native artist #ndn tumblr #native american #indigenous #warrior cats #warriors oc #warriors #warrior cats oc #spirit stallion of the cimarron #furry #feral

[satansappendix]

Honestly I'm sick

#im sick and tired already of the condolences #my dad died snd its a lot #im sick of people coming over im sick of people saying sorry for your lose #im sick of it #it just makes me mad #we havent even had his funeral yet but people wont stop coming over and shit #no i havent worked through my complex emotions about this all #i dont get a chance to #i feel like i cant point out how he was a bad person how i dont remember happy memories with him #how he never apologized and only ever got worse as he was sick #but i cant say that because everyones so focused on the loss and i know its hard for them but its just so frustrating #i cant even literally say the truth #i cant say it's too quiet for my dad to be here like his spirit or whatever #because it is its always been so loud and choatic with him abd i cant say that its inappropriate #i cant saw he snapped his fucking phone in half like a goddamn child because he was mad abd wanted a new one #my brother gave me shit about that saying really #like yesh its the truth and fucking mad about it #and this is from my brother that fucking hated him but sure whatever #im just so angry #no i font want to look at picture of him or the 'happy times' because there werent any for me #I don't want to see that shit #so i have to sit quietly and pretend its all good because the other option upset everyone else because they are dealing eith the loss #and indont even get to be away from it all cause bryan lost my fucking keys in the mitts of this #so im stuck in this stupid fucking house with all the reminders of everything #I have to listen to all the people saying im so sorry for your loss when im just so angry at him #im still mad #he hurt me he hurt my brother and my mom #but i have to pretend it was all okay for the sake of everyone else #and i have tk grapple with the fact my stupid fucking aunts are going to try and do a bunch of bullshit #they are going to try to move my nonni out of the house despite us taking plent care of her and them being bitches to hrr

[medium-rare-bimbo]

Mean! Perv! Billy Hargrove x innocent! Pastor daughter! Reader

♡masterlist♡

MINORS DNI

Contains: Dub con, somnophilia near the end

༺*:ﾟ･✧･:*:ﾟ･♡ readmore ♡･ﾟ:*:･✧･ﾟ:*༻

♡ He would see you around town with your short dresses and the rosary hanging around your neck

♡ he thought you were so cute but you stayed away from him like the plague, your father told you all about billy hargrove how he was a womanizer, too consumed by lust, how he was no good.

♡ you had never actually spoken to billy, you had made eye contact a few times but you would quickly run off, that is until he was dragged to your father's church by his dad

♡ there he saw you standing near your mother at the front of the church, while your father gave a speech about something he didnt care about. He watched your doe eyes wonder around the church paying more attention to the stained glass windows

♡ he came up to you as everyone was talking, he stalked behind you noticing you were nervously playing with your fingers as if you didnt know what to do with your hands. You jumped when you felt his breathe on your neck

♡ shocked to see billy Hargrove of all people behind you, he cornered you against the wall trapping you from escaping.

"I- um cant talk right now m-my dad is probably wondering where I am I have to go-"

"Hold your horses princess, I just want to talk about our lord and saviour"

"You can talk to my dad he- um he knows a lot more than me"

♡ he somehow manages to keep you talking to him, enough to get you to ramble and prolong the conversation

"That is a lovely dress, it looks so beautiful you"

"Thanks my mom got it for me- actually she gets all my clothes, I'm not allowed to buy myself clothes without her permission- BUT I- i dont mind, I like what she picks out, makes me look nice a-and I dont like choosing things I'm very indecisive and I would probably be there all day so I'm actually happy she chooses my clothes because-"

♡ he simply stares at you while you talk not interrupting simply listening to you speak. He knows he makes you nervous, the way your eyes dart everywhere except his is laughable

♡ unfortunately the conversation is cut short by your father and his dad

"Billy hargrove, come to make a mockery out of my daughter?"

"No sir I've actually seen the light, your daughter was just telling me about you gorgeous church and how much of a loyal man you are to god. Honestly sir I have so much respect for you"

"I- well thank you- I've been doveted to our lord for as long as I remember it's nice for someone to finally acknowledge my efforts. I'm happy to help you find your way to god and banish those demons for good, your father and I were just talking about hanging out at my house perhaps you can come along, I'm sure Y/N is happy to help you with your journey"

"That would be lovely sir"

♡ who knew it sould be so easy to get access to you when he fuel your father's ego?

♡ the next week billy happily went over to your house, you were sat at the dining room table with a bible infront of you as well as some other books and sheets once again refusing to make eye contact with him as your father lead him to you.

♡ you meekly asked him a few questions about how much he knew and where he would like to start off on

"Wherever you would like doll"

♡ billy didnt pay attention to anything you were saying this time, too busy looking at the photos around your house and the decor. He only looked back at you when stumbled over your words and looked like you were on the verge of tears

"What's wrong sweetheart? You okay?"

"I- um I just dont think I'm the person you should be doing this with- i- I dont know why my dad put you up to this- I've never done this before I dont know what I'm doing"

♡ he smiled as tears rolled down your cheeks, your lips forming a pout which sent a shock down to his forming hard on. He placed his hand on your thigh causing you jolt

"That's okay, you're doing so good for me already. I already feel like a worthy man"

♡ you placed your hand on top of his, playing with his fingers as he massaged circles into your soft skin.

♡ he slid his hands further between your thighs, now feeling up your flesh and slowly making his way to the flower in between your legs

"Y-you cant do that you shouldnt be touching there- I- were not married- I'm going to go to hell if you do that-"

♡ you made no actual attempt at removing his hand, simply holding his wrist as he stared at you smirking, he glanced around to see if anyone was near.

"You're not going to hell it's not like we're doing anything against the lords rules, I'm just touching you. It cant be bad if it feels good, can it?"

♡ he grazes his lips over yours letting you smell the cigarettes and mint gum on his breathe, soon removing himself from you and turning to the table as the adults walk in

"Everything going okay In here?"

"Absolutely sir, Y/N here was just telling me about easter"

♡ your meetings soon became a scheduled event and nothing else had happened since that first meeting

♡ that was until your father had left you alone with billy, a horrible mistake on his part

♡ when he first noticed the quietness in the house he was worried he got the wrong date that is until you meekly walked out of the shadows and lead him to your usual spot at the dining table

"Where's your parents?"

"Hes out with your dad I- i think they're fishing.."

"What about your mom?"

"Shes at her book club..."

♡ the giddiness in billy was comparable to a child on Christmas. over the weeks he had gained your trust, convincing you that he was serious about god

♡ so when he suggesting going to your room instead you agreed (although hesitantly)

♡ walking into your room he immediately noticed the cross hanging above your canopy bed which was pushed against the wall. The curtains around it almost highlighted your sleeping area.

♡ he quickly noticed how embarrassed you were, perhaps it was the stuffed toys, or the light colours, or the photos on the walls?

♡ you ushered him on the bed quickly preferring him to not stare at the immature state of your bedroom, although you would prefer posters of your favourite singers, pictures of your friends you were unable to at wishes of your father

♡ much like your first meeting billy let's you ramble, his eyes focused on your lips, he isnt sure what you're talking about especially when you bite your lip when reading out your notes

"Have you ever kissed someone before?"

♡ the question makes you choke on your breathe, whipping your head to face him. spluttering out a sentence

"What?! Why would you ask me that?! I- cant kiss anyone- I- I'll be in so much trouble- I'm not allowed to kiss anyone-"

"Would you like to?"

♡ that quickly shut you up as you looked up at him, he tilts his head at you and moves closer to you, his breath making goosebumps rise on your skin

♡ he kisses your unresponsive lips, too shocked at what is happening to kiss back (not that you knew how)

♡ when he pulled back you were staring at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He grabbed your stuff and set it on your vanity, his hand traveled to your side and pushed you on your back

♡ he towered over you, your breath hitching in your throat, his arms either side of your head. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, it took a while for you to relax and try to follow his movements but you eventually got the hang of it.

♡ just as the man himself things got rough quickly, his hand in your hair and his tongue entering your mouth. You melted against him wrapping your arms around Billys shoulders

♡ when you broke apart for air your lips were puffy and swollen, billy was looking no better his hair was disheveled and his eyes were half lidded.

♡ he kissed the side of you face travelling to your jaw then towards your neck, where you gripped his shirt as he licked a stripe over your neck.

♡His hands wondered down to your chest, pulling your sundress down to reveal your bra to him

"Wait! Wait wait I- billy i cant- we shouldnt be doing this we should stop"

"Sh sh shhh just take what I give you"

♡ his hands continued their exploring, flipping your bra to reveal your soft nipples, leaning down his breath soon hardened them making you whimper

♡ he kissed your right nipple while rolling the left in his hand, the hand unattended drifted down your thighs and under your dress

"Billy stop- we cant do this i- I- I'm gonna get into s'much trouble"

"It cant be wrong if it feels good baby"

♡ he continues kissing and fondling your breasts, his hand slipping to your underwear pressing a thumb against your clothed clit making you jolt your hips with a loud whine.

♡ he chuckled against your chest moving his face to meet yours

"That feel good? Want me to do it again?"

"I dont know- I dont know! Feels weird.."

♡ he kissed your mouth and let's his other hand wander to your thighs. he pulls back to get a full view of you, your thighs spread, your lips puffy, your tits out. A sight that would make the devil groan, which is what he did.

♡ he plays with your thighs and your clothed cunt, soon sliding the piece of fabric to the side to get a better view of your forbidden fruit. He watches as your fluids leak from you, clamping around nothing and clit twitching from the harsh temperature of the room

♡ he places his thumb over your clit watching you jerk against him, clearly not used to stimulation, he circles around it then leans down pressing a kiss against it (maybe a quick suck too)

♡ the action makes you cry

"Billy 'is dirty"

♡ he slides with finger in you, the heat and tightness of your body almost making him cum in his pants. You're mewling underneath him and he gives you feelings you've never experienced

♡ his fingers work you open aiming to make sure you're able to fit his cock. When he pulls pants down to his thighs and grips his cock, your eyes are wide and full of second thoughts. Being the gentlemen he is he grabs your hand and makes you feel it

"S'hot, 'n it feels weird"

"Supposed to be hot gonna make you all warm"

"S'not gonna fit, your fingers felt too much, cant take this.."

"Cant take my cock?"

"Dont say that! That's dirty!"

♡ he drags his cock head over your clit, the heat of it shutting you up.

"I'll make it fit baby"

♡ he pulls your thighs apart and wraps his arm around your head, his body encapsulates yours as he pressed his cock inside of you. The stretch hurts and leaves you grabbing as much as billy as you can, he whispers praises to the side of your neck as he desperately tries to hold back.

♡ after an intense 5 minutes of him rubbing your clit and getting you to relax he starts thrusting, soft and slow but soon picking up as you unconsciously buck you hips into his. Your bed shook and you cried into his neck as he defiled you for any other man

"That feel good?"

"Ah- Feels big! 'Feel so full ngh- too full!"

"Yeah? Ya think your god would like this?"

"Gon' be In so much trouble billy"

"Ngh fuck- I'll be your god baby, I'll never get mad at you- fucking take it for me- you'll be my most devoted follower, c'mon say I'm your god, say it, say it for me baby 'n I'll make you feel so good c'mon say it"

"My god- y- your my god"

"Good girl, fuck-"

♡ as you reached orgasm you tried to push him off telling him that you were gonna pee, luckily for him you werent strong especially when you were getting your beliefs banged out.

♡ you came with a wail wrapping your legs around his waist, trapping him inside you, his hips stuttering as he came inside you.

♡ thus a sneaky beautiful relationship began

♡ hed take you for dates at his favourite cafe ordering milkshakes then stealing the cherry placed on top of yours then making jokes about once again "stealing your cherry"

♡ he steals your underwear especially when hes been teasing you all day, he likes the juices you leave behind, likes sucking on them, cumming on them, keeping them for himself and returning them soiled

♡ let's you come to the pool after hours just so he can fuck you in the water

♡ definitely buys you thin white bikinis just so he can see what's underneath when they get wet

♡ has grabbed a lollipop from your lips and pretended to fuck your mouth with it, you're none the wiser and assume he wants you to get the most flavour out it

♡ touches you in church and whispers how gross you are

"You're disgusting, really letting me touch you in the house of god?"

♡ flips up your skirt all the time, he blames the wind even if theres no breeze.

♡ he had dinner with your parents and had his fingers knuckle deep inside you the entire time, liking your juices if his fingers when dessert came out

♡ comes in through you window just so he can see you without prying eyes, he either wakes you up like a normal person or he wake you up by eating you out/ fingering you

♡ has had phone sex with you multiple times, he treats it like a confession booth and hes mostly degrading you the entire time

"You're fucking disgusting thinking about my cock, you're supposed to be a child of god" - says the man with your panties wrapped around his cock

♡ has gotten you drunk before and made you grind on his foot while you suck along his cock

♡ chokes you with your rosary when hes fucking you from behind, pulls on it like a leash

♡ taught you how to masturbate by sitting you infront of a mirror and touching you, you never fully learnt because billy has no self control

♡ bites you in places that arent visible to your parents, says you've been bitten by the devil

♡ spits in your mouth all the time

#stranger things x reader #billy x reader #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove smut

[anonymouscheeses]

Even more and more of obvious shit I point out because I want an excuse to rant while not interacting with actual people in real life who also like this show because I'm masking 😍💜💜

BARELY STARTED AND BRO. YOU JUST LET HER DO THAT TO YOU, ME PERSONALLY-

HE'S PETTING KEE-KEE I LOVE HIM SMM

HER HOOVES. I LOVE IT. NOT LIKE THAT, IM JUST A FURRY-

*grabs pen*

ANGRY CHARLIE FOR THE WIN. I LOVE WHEN THE HAPPY CHARACTER GETS ANGSTY (Cough. Luz. Cough).

The people writing fanfics where she gets FURIOUS. Omg. That was something I read. I LOVE MY FELLOW FANFIC WRITERS BUT OH MY- YALL REALLY HAD CHARLIE M A D.

"Uh-"

I love his reaction lmao look at his goofy face.

HER BOW BECAME HORNS (my "redesign" is now 100% worse)

SAD VAGGIE. THE BOW. DROOPY.

Oh and the angel dust fellow back there 🤯

I LOVE ROSIE SO MUCH HUH

Tall.

No explanation needed. <3

PLEASE HELP???

CUTIE PATOOTIE. I LOVE HER SM UGGHHH

CHARLIE HATES OLD PEOPLE COMFIRMED YAY 😍😍💅💅

Hot

That's it.

IN SYNC. I LOVE THIS SONG AND THE ENTIRE SCENE. WHY IS IT RANKED SO LOW WITH SOME OF YALL?? Okay well-

I thought this song was gonna be a Charlie and Vaggie duet- tbh I still preferred that BUT I LOVE CARMILLA SO I KINDA DONT CARE.

BUT I WAS ROBBED OF AN ACTUAL FULL CHAGGIE DUET (REPRISE DOESNT COUNT) IF H*SKERDUST GETS A FULL ONE WHY CAN'T CHAGGIE? *SOB* uhh anyway-

Is that. Like. How she thinks actually 😰

I know there's been a lot of the lack of Vaggie's self-worth, which I wish was explored into more. I just think the Vaggie(3rd) episode just wasn't needed at all if it didn't even have an impact. Don't get me started on that episode, it was rushed, too early to have character arcs already, and overall not needed or even should have existed periodt.

I hope they explore it next season because GOD this woman needs TO LOVE HERSELF. OR ATLEAST CARE ABOUT HERSELF LIKE????

SWEET MAMA PLEASE. TAKE ME IN YOUR WINGS AAAAAAAAA

Charlie, sharing is caring <3

Out of all the people I thought Charlie would vent to I didn't think it would be ROSIE. It's a nice surprise tho I love her <3

bisexuality.

That's it.

HE'S DANCING. ALASTOR IS DANCING. THEY ARE SLAYING BESTIES. THE MAN IS DANCING. HELP.

Season 2 is going to be Charlie in her villain era and Alastor's reputation era 😍

I LOVE VAGGIE'S FACE. PRECIOUS BABY UGHH... THEN THE WINGS REPLACE THE BOW AND DROOP UGGHH I HOPE IN SEASON 2 WE SEE MORE OF HER WINGS. OR CUT HER HAIR SHORT SO WE CAN HAVE IT ALL THE TIME. Also so Husk and Vaggie can bond over both having wings. Sorry I love their potential friendship so much. AND LUCIFER AND VAGGIE TOO!! BOTH BEING FALLEN ANGELS OMG. UGH THE POTENTIAL OF VAGGIE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH NOT JUST CHARLIE ARE SO GOOD AND I HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF SEEING HER AS AN ACTUALLY MORE FLESHED OUT CHARACTER. I AM SCREAMING AAAAAAAA.

I can't say how much I love them. It's too much. I cant- yay the teaser image before the show came out <3 they are so fucking adorable. UGH SOME1 END ME

Charlie loves the wings hehehe. Vaggie looks nervous about it. It's probably a reminder to her about when she used to be an exterminator. The healing from everything will take a long time but hopefully Charlie will be there for her the entire time. And vice versa

Ayo- 😰

CHARLIE. T H E PRECIOUS BABY.

Uh next one tomorrow cuz yeah 🤯

#hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel sir pentious #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel niffty #chaggie #rainbowmoth #varlie #vaggie x charlie #charlie x vaggie #charlie morningstar #vaggatha

[jupitermoontarot24]

18+😈🐾Bratty Habits That Drive Your FS Insane‼️💜

Enjoy the reading... CHECK OUT MY PAETRON FOR MORE

Piles 1-5

YOUR NOT SO NICE HABITS THAT YOUR FS CANT GET ENOUGH OF 💘

Pile 1 🦋

Welcome

Habit of yours that drives your future spouse insane is that they are not sure how destructive you can get. they feel like they might only know the surface level of your anger and destructiveness because you're sweet with them but they know it's an underlying chaos to you. I feel like they might get glimpses of this when you go out with your friends and you tell them stories about what you did. They might be like okay that was wild lol. They want to know how crazy you can get but they want to do this in the most peaceful way possible. they want to see your Wild Side. They do want you to drive them to Crazy Town. They think it's sexy. They like when you go out with your friends and get crazy and wild, they like this energy from you. they might even like picking you up from girls nights where you get a little bit too drunk. I think your future spouse likes when you get drunk or party in general. they like when you come home horny and you want them to pull it out immediately or even on the drive home. they like when you send them drunk texts or horny facetimes anything like that they love that.  it drives your future spouse crazy when you tease them this could be drunk or sober they absolutely love this. I think you are just a natural tease. This could even be with words. It doesn't have to be you physically teasing them but even talking dirty to them or making them wait even if it's not dirty. They like When you are a “know it all “and you talk about a specific topic and teach them even if they already know about it or if you just talk and talk they love it. they love when you pretend not to wear skimpy outfits to turn them on. like if you wear a short dress or your cleavage is out and you know it turns them on but you act like you didn't do that on purpose they love that. They could also like when you ignore them or act like you didn't see their text messages or calls. A bratty habit of yours that drives your future spouse crazy is that you could be a little emotionally distant sometimes. you can also over think situations and you might get advice from other people about what you should do next.  I think they like this though because you're not quick to act on a decision you'll sit and process it and even ask opinions from other people before you do something. You can also be really close with your friends so it's like they know that you would be quick to leave if they did something wrong because you have a good support system and you don't need anyone. because you're emotionally distant sometimes you don't have a problem cutting people off. You might get very hot and cold with your fs and they like this. One second you might be all over them, the next second you might be like I'm leaving, then the next you're in bed with them. Sometimes you have a battle of head over heart but they know that in the end you'll listen to your mind if you need to. Your moods change a lot and they like this. 

Pile 2 🐱

You could ask your future spouse for money to hang out with your friends a lot and they like this. I think you're really into maintenance for your body so you can always need your hair done, your makeup done on certain products and they like this. You can spend a lot of money on clothes, feminine products, and perfumes. you can blow a lot of your money on your friends as well take your friends on shopping sprees on your future spouse's dime and they like this. Your future spouse might have to schedule to hang out with you, especially if you already have plans with your friends you won't cancel those plans for them. You might buy duplicate items that you already have with their money or over consume certain things. 

A bratty habit of yours that your future spouse that drives your fs crazy is you like solitude. you could sit by yourself in your room and occupy yourself with a million things. I think you also get reassurance from yourself So it's really hard to sway your opinion and they like this. You are also very patient but because of this you could be slow moving but they like this. they like that you have the time and patience to nurture something even if you move as slow as a turtle. You're never in a rush so you might delay your plans to hang out with. you might have people waiting on you and you're still playing around with your fs in bed they like that. You could also prioritize food. it's like you might need stuff to be a certain way before you can relax including your food made a certain way or certain things.  it might also be hard to get in contact with you because you make the things you want to do first the priority before you meet with anyone else and they like this. You could also test them inappropriately and in public. You might rub on their dick or up their thigh while you guys are at dinner or at the movies or something. You also become really clingy when you're in love so you might be attached to your future spouse. it's like when you're around  you want them to have all the attention on you and you're attached to them but when you have something else to do, you completely disengage from your future spouse and you are focused on what's in front of you. you could also act a fool when you're out with your friends. 

Pile 3 👑

Welcome

Your future spouse is obsessed with your bratty habit of going to sleep. you could go to sleep when you have something to do or you have somewhere to go but you go to sleep instead this drives them insane in a good way. you might get all dressed up or have a important place to be but you decide to chill at home or take a nap with them. They like when you get quiet, like if you're out in a group of people and you might not say too much. You could be really observant and like to read a room before you speak too much, they like this. So basically they like it when you give people the cold shoulder even if it's not on purpose maybe you just not feeling talkative that day. Also like when you're not dressed appropriately for certain occasions, like maybe you're going bowling but you're dressed provocatively or just overdressed. Fur coat at the movies? Yes please Heels to bowling? Yes ma’am. They like when you ask them to go get things for you at weird hours of the night. like if you're hungry and you want something and it's really late they actually like this. I think they like this because they're not willing to do this for a lot of people so they like being in this provider energy for you and getting anything that you want. they like when you want PDA in public. you might only like PDA when you're drunk and they like that, this person might like PDA all the time so they like when you're under the influence. Like that you're secretive and that they have to dig to find out certain things about you. they like when you are Stern and maybe a little bit argumentative. I think they actually like arguing with you. You guys might not argue often at all and it turns them on seeing you in the energy. You could be cool, calm, collected and you probably don't allow your emotions to outweigh the situation but when you do get in arguments they really like it. You could be very specific in how you want things to look and they like this. especially when it comes to decorating  you could need things to be exactly how you laid them out in your head and you will even take on this by yourself if you have to. You could be pretty popular so you might also agree to a lot plans but then when it comes down to it you can only pick one and you blow everyone else off. They like this as long as its blowing everyone off to hang with them. You could also feel the need to change a lot so you could need to change your hair and your outfits and your aesthetic to feel like yourself or whole again and they like that. They also like when you act disinterested in them. You could make them do most of the work sexually and also rush them if you have somewhere to be or something to do and they like this. yeah you could make plans and then give them some sex before you leave but then rush them the whole time. This actually makes them want you more and makes them feel like they have to Forever chase you because they never know how you really feel or if something else is going on behind the scenes with you lol. This person could also be older than you so you might tease them about their age and they also like this. 

Pile 4 🤩

Welcome

A bratty habit that drives your future spouse crazy is that you might not like to help out physically when it comes to things. you're not the type to get your hands dirty or physically put in a lot of strength to help out always. They like that you stay feminine and avoid being too masculine even if it's something that needs to be done. You might not tell them what's wrong with you and just expect them to figure it out or you hold it in or express it in subtle ways and they think this is cute. you might have a really girly aesthetic and you might want to push that on to the decor in your home giving them little input at all. You might not like being told no and you might try to get around when people tell you no. You might have trust issues so you might put your future spouse through little tests to see their loyalty. I think your anger also progresses in stages. You could be calm angry one second to completely burn the house down. Gone Girl energy like you could plot on people and they like that. Yeah your bratty habits can be almost maniacal. you might need certain things to calm you down once you do get angry like sex. Your fs just might have to put you in your place by putting it down in the bedroom. You can be kind of manipulative not necessarily in a bad way but if you want something you might not ask for it directly you might just mention it to the point that your future spouse has to get the hint. You can also play victim like when things go wrong you act Clueless or like it wasn't your fault. You could expect things to go a certain way and for your future spouse to follow the script that you have in your head lol, and they do like this. You also could get jealous easily especially if they have contact with anybody from their past. 

Pile 5 😍

Welcome

A bratty habits that drives your fs crazy is that they might have to convince you to tell them what's wrong. You might not be that open when things bother you so they have to really coach it out of you. They like this. It's like when you have to sit down with a baby and convince them to tell you what's wrong, that's the energy they get from you. I don't think you like basic things so when they have to get you something they know that it can't be basic or it has to be something that you would like which is usually not the most normal thing. You are unique so you're into unique things. You might not be the most touchiest person so they may have to Pine for your touch at moments. I think you dress how you want to so you might not always be dressed appropriately for every occasion in whatever way that means. Low cut v shirts at the playground or short shirts at work. I think you're also not the most go-getter person always.  I don't think you like to chase the bag. I think you like the bag to chase you so because of that you might not take work as seriously as the average person, they like this because they could be the opposite and it gives your relationship balance. I think you're also quick to boycott or release something that doesn't work for you so you might quit jobs easily or stop drinking Starbucks even if it's your favorite type energy. You could also play a little rough with your things because maybe you're not the most materialistic persons. So basically you're not overly cautious, they admire this .I Think you're not afraid of authority and you might make decisions without thinking of the long-term consequences and they like this. You have this Gone With the Wind energy that your future spouse really likes. I think because sometimes you have no Direction you allow them to lead and they like this, that you're easily led by them. It could turn them on that you trust them to lead you but it can also make them feel some type of way because they might feel like you might get easily led by other people too which makes them want to keep a grip on you more. You also speak up when something is really bothering you or has pissed you off you'll say how you feel and you won't hold back you don't even care if it'll hurt their feelings if its the truth. I think you're overall bougie without feeling need to work too hard and your future spouse is attracted to that.

#daily tarot #love #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #soulmates #tarot #tarot reading #twin flame #18+