#i just want winter for once in my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiddstellas · 9 months

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28º C at night with 40ºC during the day should be illegal

#i live in the last floor so this house is like an oven #doesn't refresh during the night #there's no wind #buildings aren't prepared and my landlord refused to buy an AC bc 'no one complained before'#bitch we're having the worst heatwaves ever what do you mean #i just want winter for once in my life #but guess what i'll be freezing then bc this house doesn't get sun in THE WINTER #so an oven turns into a freezer ((((:#if you're wondering why i'm not around to queue anymore #it's physically impossible + tumblr new tagging system gives me headaches #* shut up angela

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larapaulussen · 6 months

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Illustration for the Cover of the Simple Things Mag december issue

#illustration #editorial illustration #magazine illustration #magazine cover #winter #it’s me spending Christmas alone #like absolutely every single year of my life #cause noone is ever there for me when I need them #and absolutely noone cares about me #it’s ok that I never will have children #I really like children but can also be happy without them #but I still want a partner #I just want to experience love once in my life #I want to know how it feels to be loved #I want to know how it feels when someone cares about you #I never experienced this in my whole life

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meateater-lamb · 26 days

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#vent #ahhh my best friend has once again told me to move out and look at shelters hahahahahahaha #like fuck man there ISNT A SHELTER HERE.#the only one we have is only open a couple months in winter #and also a shelter is THE WORST OPTION #esp in utah #like if i move out i need 2 have like help i cant just do it on my own yknow #he did have a good idea abt a mental health professional being able 2 help me tho..#but then im 2 scared my mom will find out im going to therapy!!!#but i am going to look into it #bc like. i just cant do this anymore yknow #this place is killing me #like literally #both my mental and physical health are. very poor rn.#idk what 2 do idk. i am fuckin scared abt everything yknow #dissociation has gotten worse #i keep seeing things #heart is acting up #cant eat #keep having nightmares #mom wants me 2 give her $1.5k #my dog is super arthritic n im the only one who will do anything with her #which is making MY joints and body pain way worse #i am always sick n i always have the smell of mold stuck in my nose now #i cant even function man #i just lay on the couch all day sick and out of my mind n then i get screamed at for it #bc im the only one who cleans so if im not cleaning the house is fucked and so the house is fucked #i cant see a way out idk #nothing makes me happy and i feel like im dying again #my entire life is fucked

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luciana-silentstar · 1 year

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I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.

#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao #somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways #have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so #I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao #I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh #when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me #this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha #on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny #off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically #my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently #ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW #Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED #I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao #anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3 #I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god #still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell #also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee #Dragonheart #Illusion #Brilliant Vision #Myth #Chocolate Dream #mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options #also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao #I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now

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jesterguy · 5 months

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Two Door Cinema Club is coming in February and I'm going if it costs me my life

#ive only seen them once in 2013(?) and my best friend literally passed out in the middle of the crowd and i had to carry her out #the venue was very hot and way overbooked and it was the dead of winter so everyone was in sweaters and stuff. including my friend #and she was on her period. the combo of anemia + heat + her untreated ED caught up with her and she just fucking dropped to the floor #she was very tall and lanky and im very small but strong and i literally had to toss her over my shoukder fireman style #and drag her out of the crowd to the fresh air with her toes scraping the ground behind us #laid her down on the downtown atlanta sidewalk and waited for her mom to come get us while i listened to the rest of the show lol #i didnt mean to tell the whole story but it was one of the wildest moments of my life lol.#she was fine btw! i wont name her bc she's successfully pursuing fame in LA now #anyyyywaaayssssss i am gonna see them in person forrealsies and in full at any cost #heavily considering getting my sibling a ticket to the show and bringing her with us instead of the holiday present she asked for #she really wanted to go but my mom cant stand for the whole show to chaperone #cam talks

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nomaishuttle · 6 months

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i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD

#bc its like this. i obviously have way more contempt for a billionaire. obviously. but ive never met an actual billionaire yfm. and i Have #met middleclass ppl and A lot not all but a lot. are so insufferable and ikkkk not all of them or whatever but like. i constantly got shit #for being poor from middle class kids and like. ik im supposed to be class solidarity with them bc were all poor when compared to a #billionaire but goddd fucking damn they make it difficult . ik its like well the upperclass Wants the lowerclass and middleclass to be at #eachothers throats bc it means they dont pay attention to the upperclass walking over the both of them. i knowwww. but i can multitask #major in hating rich people minor in hating the middleclass...#THIS ISNT RLY RELATEDFTO THE LAST POST AT ALL i just have a lot of like. complicated feelings abt classism basicallyy.#like. i wouldnt wish poverty on anybody it fucking sucks. but as a kid i did sometimes fantasize abt swapping lives with my classmates who #had more money than me Not even bc i wanted to live their life but just so they would like. see the apartments i lived in and see the room #i shared with both of my siblings (weeman didnt exist yet lmao) and just like. look in the fridge. bc i just rly wanted ppl to get it lol..#there was this one assignment that was like. wants vs needs and ppl kept putting needs as like. A big backyard. vacation once a year. my ow #personal bedroom etc and ik they were kids but it was like. insanely frustrating to have these kids who had like. never had to live without #Wants. yk. bc then i would just write down like. food. shelter. water. thats it lmao i even had clothes as a want instead of a need. and #they were making fun of me bc my list was so short and its like . look man i have gone without these three things on multiple occasions. yk #and now i try to be like. its good that there are ppl who have never experienced that i dont want ppl to have to experience that especially #like. that was in 4th grade lol. i was 9. i shouldnt have been worrying abt bills and stuff and none of my classmates knew anything abt tha #and thats a Good thing they shouldnt have. but theres this selfish part of me that wishes they did KANDJNS bc its so insanely isolating to #have ppl like. interrogating you abt why your shoes are so worndown or why your winter jacket is too small yk. and you cant say 'my family #cant afford better/new ones' bc they dont even understand what money is. yk. IDK. im just very sensitive abt these kinds of things KANDNW..#perhaps a bit too oversensitive at times but yk. im working on it and im working on not being spiteful abt it bc like. yes it was isolating #but it was a good thing that the kids didnt relate to it yk. kids shouldnt relate to that and i shouldnt have felt that way bc no kid shoul #im also Ik i bring it up constantly but im still so mad abt that time my friends heard me say Yeah i have to go to court against my dad nex #wednesday . and they didnt say anything and then one of them went Ughhh my dad wont buy me the newest iphone hes buying me the newest #samsung instead But i have an iphone app that i spent 50 dollars on that wont transfer !!!!!! and then she endedup getting the iphone #anyways. sry ikk its grudge and i need to let it go but im still peeved... brinn there are people that are dying .#and also now i know that like. a lot of the other kids in my class Did understand and were just like. posturing. yk. a few of those kids #were from the same neighborhood as me lmao i was just too autistic to realize we werent supposed to be honest 💀 but yes. sry for this like #manifesto i am just thinking out loud..... well not bc this is text famously a written form of communication but we all understand. anyways

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darkwood-sleddog · 2 years

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sometimes it think back to college when i moved out of vt and to ohio and my ohioan friends would be flabbergast i didn't know what this or that fast food restaurant was or that my parents didn't let me have caffeinated soda growing up like i was 'missing out' or 'sheltered' or something but like. babes. you never learned how to make a powerpoint presentation or go outside for fun and you're coming for ME?

#not dogs #the powerpoint presentation thing is TRUE i had a college friend #who had never learned how to make one in school ever #and i was like excuse me WHAT.#like sorry my parents didn't want me having a highly addictive sugared drink as a kid i don't know why that's considered bad #vt had a single mcdonalds my entire life #like.#do you really think my life is lesser bc i didn't have steak n shake #sorry my mom made me eat hummus and cucumber wraps instead of giving me money for fast food. it was just a reality of growing up #with parents conscious of healthy eating habits and thats not a bad thing either #literally loved living in CBUS but like. i'd go for walks and nobody was outside even when the weather was beautiful it was SHOCKING #like it was endlessly amusing to my ohio folks i got excited by the first snowfall each year #like even if you don't like winter please go outside and experience a little JOY for once im begging yall

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savage-rhi · 8 months

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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you

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timeisacephalopod · 1 year

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I saw a post the other day that kinda pushed back on the way all coming of age movies are about sexuality and all high school stories basically center around who wants to fuck who and how that's like. Not really all coming of age and high school stories should offer since you know. Youth isn't about who you have a crush on and probably coming of age stories in particular should be far more diverse in subject matter than they are.

Honestly as someone who, when I was 'coming of age' age, hated coming of age stories and still do for the exact reason listed above (see the weird scene in It where we all sexualize a 13 year old girl because boys have crushes and surely there's no other way to portray this than feeling a child up with a camera to demonstrate boys have ~feelings~ Bev gets no equivalent scene because she's the object of affection rather than the subject feeling desire) I also wish there was diversity in those stories. And coming of age stories about adults- we don't stop going through huge life moments that change everything forever, but back to kids. When I was a kid I could have desperately used a coming of age story where the character has a sick and dying parent who does die by the end of the story and what happens after that. Granted I did just fine without it, but even without being asexual it's always irked me that coming of age stories don't seem to appreciate that kids have way larger problems and way better stories to tell then first crushes and first kisses for shit sake give kids who went through what I did as a kid some kind of story about what happens when your parent gets cancer and how complicated that is and stop assuming the biggest thing that happens around puberty is discovering sexuality that, if you were queer, you probably already noticed what you felt wasn't in a coming of age story anyway.

#winters ramblings #id actually LOVE to see a coming of age story about an immigrant child moving to a new country #and have the coming of age center around THAT instead of these bizarre vaguely adult explorations of sexuality #that honestly ive never related to anyway like maybe the allos get it but even THEY deserve more diversity in stories #SURELY even your local allos have a dad dying of cancer they desperately need to know what to do with #like deadass a therapist told me at 26 i was robbed as a child because of what i went through and i STILL cry when i think of that #but no coming of age is all sex shit because children according to adults dont have real issues #which tells me adukts writing the stories are MASSIVELY privileged or stunted by execs or straight up assune kids wont watch #a REAL coming of age story. also i want a coming of age story about a 40 year old who is going through a career change #and the struggles that come with late career change. the benefits of a late career change. all the complicated family goo around all this #just give me decent stories that arent too focused on fycking RELATIONSHIPS for once. have them there sure i dont care #but for FUCK sakes can we stop pretending a 13 year olds biggest concern us who they have a crush on??#my dad was DEAD and i knew only one other person who lost her mom way younger than me at 8 #we did not understand each other and how could we when our situations were so different. BOTH of us were so highly alienated #because NO ONE not even each other could relate to a lot if the people around us. the only thing we DID have in common #was the sick feeling we got when someone would bitch about their parents having fair expectations or not giving them literally everything #we both had an 'at least you HAVE parents to hokd you to reasonable standards and all you do is SQUANDER it' even if our feelings werent #faur to our peers anymore than their feelings were fair to us. wheres the coming of age story about THAT #tell me a story about a 16 year old whos mom has been dead HALF her life already like my friend. i was lucky enough not to deal with that #until i was 24. she deserved better out if high school and coming of age stories too. believe it or not kids have REAL lives and problems #and im SO tired of no one writing anything but some sad kids books about it even if the books are SOMETHING to start with #like for shit sakes must NICEthat the worst thing YOU went through was realizing you had a sexuality but my queer ass #ALWAYS knew i was different and highschool highlighted that a BUNCH so unless we're exploring aroace teens that doesnt appeal either #great yet ANOTHER story about straight teenagers because THEYRE the ones who need guidance on how to express themselves #like they dont see strsight people storoes and sexuality EVERYWHERE plus the ACTUAL opportunity to date in high school #that most queer kids dont get or dont get in the same way. why is THAT the only story being told when its the most saturated and BORING #and also ignores that kids have REAL issues and NO angency. explore THAT. do ANYTHING but yet another fucking coming of age story #about straight kids having crushes on each other and thats IT like come on SERIOUSLY

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pikslasrce · 1 year

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thank you global warming <3

#ITS JANUARY AND IT FEELS LIKE MAY #ITS SO WARM LIKE IVE NEVER FELT SO. COMFORTABLE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.#im doing my walk of shame coat and bundica in my hand dressed in. sleeping shorts and tshirt i thought no one would see #bc i thought id be wearing the said coat and bundica. bc i thought id be cold. but no #maybe it wouldve been cold if i didnt have winter tights on along w the shorts but still....#now i understand those coastal pinterest girlies that say Winter outfit ❄💫 and then its like #a thin sweater a short skirt tights and the smallest thinest jacket ever #like i get it now #btw i dont like global warming ofc i just like that its NICE here for once. or at least that winter is what i always wanted it to be #piksla.txt

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oshaviolater · 1 year

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no pls it's literally so embarrassing to explain like no im not christian no no im just a gen z who accidentally got influenced by instagram fashion trend im so sorryyy

#like. whatever it makes me feel hot lmao i like this fashion trend thing #once this aunty asked me why im wearing just One dangly cross earring nd i was in hell that time #a) fashion b) i broke the other pair its fun to play with the cross 😮‍💨#i want a new pair i also did not shop 4 winter clothes this year #so im kinda excited to go this particular sector market nd get those really sexy oversized sweater/vests omg #ive been eyeing some online but eh too overpriced #but i do have that black white diamond pattern sweater similar to that of what key wore for shinee's dont call me promotions in my mind #ah im itching to buy pretty sweaters #life update

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stardustedknuckles · 1 year

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Was thinking today that other than a persistent pressure between my legs, I really haven't seen anything change on my dose of T yet and then I realized that for all the headaches and sinus bullshit that's begun since then, for all the gas being worse and whatever, I haven't taken or wanted any weed since I started. The only reason I took it was for the constant inflammation I had been dealing with and I can't explain it, but that low-grade fuzzy feeling that had been in my skin is just. Gone. I've also been able to eat foods I have been afraid to touch for months since they randomly began causing problems I couldn't find the vocabulary to even explain. Gluten, soy, yeast - all of the things I had been trying to narrow down and figure out which of them was hurting me and how...I'm still careful about spacing out when I eat it, but that didn't matter before. Most things are acceptable again, and when I'm not anywhere near my period I have a huge appetite. Estrogen is still fucking with me pretty badly, but it's only been three months on a low dose and despite the hormonal migraine activity, I can tell it's easing up every month.

None of the things that are happening feel new, either. It feels like they were maybe going on before and they were so buried under inflammation that I couldn't experience them properly to label them. I now know that the random panic food causes in me sometimes is silent reflux - my throat feels like it's closing because the acid is touching the esophagus and making the muscle flinch away from it. The hypersensitivity to light around my period and the constant sinus pressure confirm what I've already looked into, that I have "flu-like" period symptoms. It's just clearer now (as it starts to fade). T isn't causing any of these things. They're just taking a while to go away because my cycle will take a while to piss off entirely.

And that's on a half dose. Part of me is worried it won't be enough to completely suppress my cycle and I'll have to go all in just to feel normal more than two weeks at a time, but three months ago it was one week if I was lucky. So I guess we'll cross that bridge if and when we (don't) get there.

And all of this time, I have needed my ADHD meds exactly twice, both for big projects that are specifically leaning on a skill I am especially bad at. So not only am I feeling better for the most part all around, I am feeling better without the meds that have kept me upright and functioning for three years. I have an official fibromyalgia diagnosis. Even if I'm not sure that's exactly what was going on, it is a very big deal that I don't need stimulants just to exist anymore. SOMETHING rheumy was fucked, and at least for now it's doing better (we'll see how next summer goes. it always gets quieter in the fall and seems heat activated.)

#I was hoping it would give me back the energy to write #but it's more like it's making it very clear why I can't write and that will take time to deal with #I would go back on my meds even if just for the winter #but you see the problem is that now even a half does makes my body act like I had too much #it's bearable but it's not something I want to deal with every day #it's not increasing my quality of life like it had been #which is great news for the rest of my life as a whole #if my body didn't change at all and I could just have these benefits that'd be okay #mostly I am just dreading being misgendered in the opposite direction and eventually looked at weird when I say I'm a lesbian #because I will look a lot like a cis dude and...another bridge we'll cross when we get there #chances are good I'll look like a cis dude who can live their life for fucking once and that softens the fear #sdk does trans stuff

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bi-moonlight · 1 year

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