#i immediately tried to speedrun the game right after i finished it

[when-sanpape-arts]

leon’s spanish slaycation doodle dump

#resident evil #leon kennedy #luis serra #ashley graham #leon s kennedy #re4 #i immediately tried to speedrun the game right after i finished it #its going really bad im on chapter 7 and it took me 4 hours afsghsgsjhsj #illustration #artists on tumblr #fanart #resident evil 4

[baddiecarl]

Streamer! Carl Grimes x Streamer! reader

Like Chandler Riggs, Carl Grimes in a normal world would also totally be a streamer. Here’s a peek into what it might be like to be his streamer crush!  (Also I’m pushing a slight resident evil agenda in this, I grew up watching my dad and brother play them and waited with bated breath to actually be able to play them myself!  It’s my favorite video game series of all time if you can’t tell lol)

For maximum enjoyment, please watch the clip I put right under this because I referenced it in this story!

  “Do I know who (your screen name) is?”  Carl says, reading his chat.  “No, I’ve never heard of them, gimme a second.”  He picks his phone up off his desk and types the name into google, coming up with endless pictures of you playing video games, doing cooking and baking streams, making art, reacting to the memes people made for you, all the things your streams are widely loved for.  Realizing he was quiet for longer than he probably should’ve been, he speaks up. “Oh yeah I’ve seen her before, she does awesome resident evil speedruns! I didn’t recognize the name at first, but yeah, I know who she is!”  

“Omg he’s blushing!”

“Is bro blushing rn?”

“Looks like no one’s immune to the charms of (y/s/n) lmfao”

  The teasing comments poured in while Carl did his best to play it cool and laugh them off, “yeah she’s pretty cute,” he admits through a soft smile as he focuses on the game he was streaming before he looked you up.  Teasing chats trickled in every once in a while, but for the most part, the topic was changed completely and by the time the stream was over he had almost forgotten about the situation entirely. 

  Little did he know that the next day your viewers would also ask you if you knew Carl.  Having been a streamer for quite some time you’ve seen a lot of clips of other streamers and you immediately recognized the name Carl.  “Oh my god, is that the dude who sucks at fall guys?”  You joked as you pulled up the clip of him failing epically at fall guys. “If you get eliminated at this part then you don’t deserve a single win,” he said, seconds before getting eliminated on the exact part he was referring to.  “He’s fucking hilarious,” you remarked as you smiled while you watched the video.  Well, that didn’t go unnoticed by any of your viewers either.

“She’s straight up giggling and kicking her feet lol”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

“He called you cute on his stream yesterday”

  Man, did your fans come in clutch or what?  Returning to your game, you saved that bit of information for later, knowing that it probably got clipped and posted by now.  After you finished up your game and ended the stream you finally got to look up the clip.  You couldn’t help but laugh while you watched him read the comments and grow more and more red with each one that came in.  “Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”  THERE IT IS! HE ACTUALLY SAID IT!!  This was all you needed to want to reach out. 

  A couple of days later, Carl was streaming again as usual when he felt his phone vibrate.  A DM from…(y/s/n)??  Holy shit, okay, play it cool.  He tried to hide his shock and excitement as he opened the message but still, a goofy smile crept onto his face while he read it.  

“Hey, Carl!  It’s come to my attention that we have quite a bit of an overlapping fanbase so I thought it’d be a great idea to play a game together sometime!  Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to play fall guys ;)”

  By the time he was done reading your message, the grin had broken out into a full-blown smile and he hid his nervous and excited laughing behind his hand.  To no avail, his viewers saw this immediately and began teasing him, asking if (y/s/n) was making him blush again.  “No guys, that’s not it, don’t worry about it,” he said, still trying to hide his bashfulness.  Yet, again clocked by his fans, they knew he was lying.  But they weren't the only ones who knew he wasn't telling the truth, because you had joined the stream just before you sent your message.  You wanted to see him blush just by the sheer mention of you one more time, so you arranged to send it while he was streaming.  You were overjoyed to see him pick up his phone, and judging by his reaction you knew he had to have read it. 

He’s quiet for a minute while he types on his phone and you watch the text bubble pop up on your phone.

“I’ve noticed the same thing haha! I think that’d be awesome, but for the record, we will be playing fall guys so I can prove I’m not ‘the guy who sucks at fall guys’”

  You grinned at his message, not failing to see the humor in the fact that he did the exact thing you did, looking up the clip from your stream where the chat had brought him up.  You respond to his message simply and sweetly.

 “Fair enough! I get to pick the game we play next time we do it then!” 

“Sounds like a deal!”  Carl replies, his heart skipping a beat at the implication of you wanting to do a stream with him more than once.  Carl’s voice coming from your computer removes your attention from your phone. “Alright sorry about the pause there guys, I had a very important message to respond to,”  he says, refocusing on his game all while he's still being teased for his very obvious change in behavior since his phone buzzed.  Giggling at him regarding your message as very important, you sat back and watched him play his game, cracking up at the jokes he made.  After he wraps up his stream, you’re left sitting at your computer, alone with your thoughts and they’re all about Carl.  

  About three minutes into zoning out, you're startled by the buzzing of your phone.  You unlock your phone to see another DM from Carl. 

“Do you think I could have your discord or maybe your phone number if you don't have that? I just thought it might be easier to communicate that way if we’re going to be doing streams together.”  How does his nervous dorky voice translate so well through text?  It’s almost like you could hear him stammering over asking for your phone number.  Doing your best to reassure him, you reply: “I do have discord! But you can have my number too!  It’s ***-***-****!”

“Thanks (y/n), I’m really excited about collabing with you!  I was kinda shocked to see that you messaged me, even though I’m pretty sure this was orchestrated by our followers lol”

What can you say?  Your followers really do come in clutch!

Me again! I hope you guys like this while you wait on the next part of Carl Grimes x Dhampir! reader! Also I hope you enjoyed that clip of Chandler sucking at fall guys, I really wanted to include that in this fic lol

#carl grimes #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes x you #Streamer! Carl Grimes x Streamer! reader #my work

[mahuhumaling]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

made by the one and only deepa. thank you for tagging me! i'm not really sure how the format of this tag game works haha but i'll do my best. ):) @fiercynn

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

heyo! i'm atria (pronounced ey-tri-ya), 21, and a college senior struggling studying creative writing in the philippines. i use she/her pronouns and i'm very much sapphic thank you.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

december 14, 2021, when i decided to binge what my twitter mutuals have been hyping about on my tl for weeks.

i had been on a hiatus prior to that, having just been suffering from julie and the phantoms brainrot, that it surprised me that my old fandom mutuals were moving on collectively to another show. so many tweets analyzing and raving about the show caught my attention because i'm all about those, those are my cup of tea, especially the night of episode 5 airing. i watched a clip of the rooftop scene and i wanted to know why they were crying and why one of them walked away, so i had it on my watchlist. i was still busy with schoolwork though so i didn't get to actually start watching until two weeks later, four days after episode 7 aired (hence 12/14/21) at 10 PM with my sheets pulled up. it was me and my phone against the world.

yes i made it worse because that week was my finals—but to my defense, to my defense, i had already finished half of it and was close in finishing the other half of my exams.

joined the fandom like not even an hour later after i binged 1-7 because i came on twitter and was met with a warm welcome.

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa. i have my fair share of liking rare pairs (clary and izzy from shadowhunters tv, riley and farkle from girl meets world, quinn and rachel from glee) but for shows like these, nah. haha the main pairs really do it for me.

favorite character(s)

pat - mans was so relatable. sexually fluid, thought he had a crush on his different-gendered friend but turned out to be in love with someone who is of the same gender who was right in front of him the whole time. became closer to different-gendered friend after confessing to them i'm totally not projecting haha what do you man

ink - ah, ink nolastname my beloved. introduced as a red herring but ended up having her own sapphic love story?? no other girl in a bl could ever.

junior - i thought he'd just be a one-episode side character but him serving the story in multiple ways got to me. he felt like patpran's child which is so cute, but also a representation of the freedom patpran's own kid selves could have had.

favorite episode(s)

3 - falls under the romcom formula of pat just following pran around like a dumb oblivious puppy and while we the audience are attuned to pran's perspective, once you rewatch episode 3, you realize how much pat has not been lying about how he feels for both pran and ink and that his behavior says it all.

5 - do you even need to ask. i'm pat-biased so him speedrunning his sexuality was so funny and so devastating at the same time.

10 - some people have said that i'm a masochist for this one. but in all seriousness when i first watched it (which was via iWant and not YouTube, so i had no interruptions of 4 parts and got to watch all four parts immediately and earlier than everyone else because if you didn't know back when it was airing, the premiering of the parts would have an interval of around 5-15 minutes each) it felt so long and advanced the plot the most. it had all: inkpa getting together, patpran being adorable annoying bfs, and learning about their generational trauma. yikes! i loved the angst of it all.

favorite scene(s)

*cracks knuckles* oh boy, do i have a series of textposts for you. i made commentary post thingies for them detailing the reason why! it was so fun to do.

designing bus stop 2.0

fight in the dorm's ground floor

pran singing the unfinished version of "our song"

inkpa in the darkroom

ming putting the letters in the siridechawat mailbox

one thing you would change about the show if you could

just one??? i mean haha sure...

the whole plot of wai getting mad at pran and how they resolved it. like come on man, the best friend hates when one lies to the other trope is so lame and overused. it's not just pat getting shot, it was the whole thing of the archi gang being unfairly mad without bothering to learn about why he lied. if they didn't feel like side characters then who are just there to put external conflict and less like actual friends who got hurt from the secret, they certainly acted most like it in episode 9.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

i made a fanfic recommendation thread and i have a couple of bbs edits saved in all of tiktok, instagram, and twitter, but if i had to really narrow it down, that'd be tough. hmm.

gif - i search @pranpats' pat breaking silently post every few months to make myself cry whenever i need a good one. my baby boy my baby boy i love him so much. i tuck him in bed and give him nong nao. btw the sharpening of this gif made pat's tears so much clearer and i want to hurl myself off of a balcony thanks.

fic - from the tide by fruti2flutie is a popular fanfic but it deserves the hype. i was blown away by its character dynamics and style of writing that i wrote an original story inspired from its worldbuilding/power system for my fiction workshop class. the river can't go back by unsungyellowraincoat is poetic heaven.

art - last one to propose loses by cubedmango + rooftop wedding by @thatgothsamurai = my our skyy actually.

animatic - Ur SOUL Ur BodY by RENii•EXE has so many shots that made me question my entire existence, namely pran pressing pat's hand into the bedsheets (0:41). it's so good. 10/10.

animation - I am not your ocean anymore by @architectxengineer is incredible. watching this broke my heart in the best possible way. the visual of how pran and pat stumble into their room in episode 11 is such a cute scene to fill the gap of.

edit - mae's safety net is a personal favorite because it was first uploaded on my birthday, i could never get tired of it as i kept watching it for months on end, and then there was that time it was archived on mae's instagram but she was kind enough to unarchive it for me (alongside her other incredible bbs edits!) huhu ily. and then another objectively well-made one is 7 things by mic that is deservedly popular on twitter, not to mention the very intentional use of colors from all of pran's markers/color pencils! HOW. COOL. IS. THAT.

text - In Fair Verona by @shortpplfedup is an analysis/commentary scenepost series that i fell in love with and tuned into as the episodes aired. it details the main romeo and juliet allegory as well as points out its differences. it's so so pretty and insightful and a delight to read. read all of it, guys. please.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

visual edit - among all my photo edits, my untranslatable words one almost made it here but i gotta hand it to my bad idea storyboard. if i could only draw, i would have animated the shit out of this tbh.

video edit - all the stars kind of flopped in reception which was a bummer considering no one knows i spent an embarrassingly long time working on it (...9 hours) but now you do haha.

fanfic - the rest are drabbles anyway so i don't even think this can count as a favorite if it's only one lmao but it's my Teen Wolf AU anamnesis (28k, 4 chapters, fin). really enjoyed the season 6 binge for educational purposes :DD and writing pranink, pranpa, patink, and the jindapat siblings was one of the best parts. my true ot4.

other - i wrote something about patpran that was not prose. it's post velum (which is latin for behind the curtain, the name of the novel) and it's poetry about each episode of bad buddy + our skyy. oh and my patpran as percabeth series that i mostly only did for like,, two people.

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

a taylor swift song feels like cheating because every ship can be associated to a taylor swift song but still. daylight is perfect. i once believed love would be burning red? pre-relationship patpran. the rivalry is so fiery that they thought they wouldn't have the space to be soft. but it's golden. established relationship patpran. they are the healthiest teenaged boyfriends ever. their relationship endures for years and glows.

watch this edit, see what i mean.

idk anything else you want us to know?

i don't really agree with thinking bad buddy is the perfect show and that it had the perfect ending. i still understand the direction and the decision to go with those and other more questionable choices, but i like recognizing the show's flaws. tons and tons of it. from the technicalities of production to the actual writing. especially knowing the show's behind the scenes and what happened from the mock trailer's official announcement and the gp's initial (horrible) reception, to this show finally airing and its first four episodes being in the trenches when it comes to ratings (haha the bbs nugu era), to the ending of episode 5 breaking the internet to the point of being recognized in the following gmmtv 2022 presscon, then to the steep rise to the peak.

...especially knowing those made me love the show more inside out. tldr; i'm a "bad buddy is a very flawed show and i love it" type of person.

tagging bbs tumblr mutuals who might be interested in playing but no pressure though! @dravbn @lurkingteapot @seoperior @pransobrave @rhvmaresh @patpranism @zetteceniza

#bad buddy #bbs #bad buddy the series #bad buddy fandom #bbs fandom #bad buddy fanworks #knowing meme knowing you #patpran

[recapcrew]

Week 28 Transcript

Video

Intro

Extra extra, read all about it! Welcome to the Empire’s Recap, and today we will be going over the chaos and drama of our (somewhat) respected rulers!

This week so few people have uploaded, one might think there's been an apocalypse! But that was more last season’s vibe; perhaps we’ll have something funnier than the end of the world this time. Welcome to the New Year with Empires!

Pix

Even during the holidays, the grind never stops.

Pixlriffs has spent time on the Hermitcraft server gifting VintageBeef a proper nether tunnel for his card game factory - what better for the man making giant pixel art cards of everyone than pixel art of his own face?

At the Empires village - still on Hermitcraft - Pix has also been finishing up Santa's workshop, complete with a randomly flooded closet and an armor stand assembly line. It's the perfect place to put his new Zedvancement trophy as well, since he doesn't really have a house to put it in around here. He's been too busy speedrunning other advancements of the non-Zed kind; 27 of them in a three-hour stream!

[PIX] …only now-- Scar! I'm trying to do a bit to camera right now!

[NARRATOR] Speaking of festive, several of the Hermits and Emperors meet up around a holiday bonfire to swap stories and impressions and whatever bad idea Oli has next. Grian stops by, confused that they didn't get the memo. What memo?

[GRIAN] The bl—The-- The portal is just one block wide!

[NARRATOR] Uh oh. Time to leave.

The Emperors head back through the portal, one by one by one. As lovely as Hermitcraft is, it isn't home.

Pixlriffs is the last to go, and his goodbye is a little more familiar; they might not be seeing him again, but he'll be seeing them.

[CUB] See ya Pix!

[GRIAN] It's the joke that keeps on giving.

[PIX] I’ll see you next week!

[NARRATOR] Interdimensional journalist historians, am I right?

Finally back on Empires, Pix meets up with Oli, which is incredibly convenient - Pix is his secret santa! His gift is more of a responsibility: any time Oli needs rockets, Pix will provide them. How he gets the gunpowder without his own farm will be the second part of the gift: chaos.

Sausage

Meanwhile, crossing through the Rift once more leaves Sausage stranded in limbo. Thankfully, his girl Bubbles gets him out, and dumps him in the nexus village. He ponders his newfound memories, and promises Bubbles not to tell anybody.

He checks the Rift to make sure it doesn't link back to Hermitcraft, and immediately turns around and robs the Tower. It is perfectly ethical.

Feeling bad for Grumbot, he takes his target block, and places it in the L.O.R.E building. It's his last time, so he changes back into his regular outfit.

He gets to work on a lab to house his new son, Sunny, a robot designed to communicate through dimensions. After putting him on charge on a definitely-not-a-shrine, he sends a message though to Pearl on the Hermitcraft side.

Family bonding time begins when Sausage brings Hermes, Bubbles and Athena to meet Sunny, who's wheeled himself outside. A message from Pearl comes in while he's away, but it sounds like she is doing pretty good.

Scott

Chromia is looking quite different to how Scott left it, and it’s all down to one llama-human - Owen.

Owen is apparently back to human form and has taken over Chromia as Mayor while Scott’s been away.

He’s claimed Pearl’s house for his own and the other llamas have followed suit, apparently claiming the other buildings including Scott’s house. The mayor is a strict ruler if you’re not a llama, boarding up the villagers into their houses and drags Scott into forceful service as the Chromia Wheat Farmer - quite a bit of a demotion there.

[SCOTT] …else have you?

[OWEN] Not yet!

[SCOTT] Yet?

[OWEN] Yeah, oh look at this rapscallion! He has to stay in here ever since the charges.

[NARRATOR] Owen tries to kick him out, before Scott convinces him to follow him through the nether portal to Hermitopia where they have loads of sugar - Owen is not impressed, until Scott turns the sugarcane into sugar. Seems llamas haven’t figured out doors OR crafting recipes.

[OWEN] …power?

[SCOTT] Sure, yep, that’s it.

[OWEN] Some people, like, make the laws, some people are literal gods, and you… make sugar!

[NARRATOR] During the exploration, Owen gets caught on fire but denies it ever happened, and claims to have built the llama statue on the Greatbridge.

Night comes and with it comes a thunderstorm, and Owen is consistently scared of the loud thunder happening - the sky is angry, and Owen is a menace.

Scott tries to convince Owen to let him stay, and Owen makes him drink spit in the tavern and replant the wheat fields before he agrees to any changes in the newly-renamed “llama land”.

The demands are “more wheat, more sugar, no doors” which probably isn’t the weirdest thing a “Mayor” could’ve asked for but it’s certainly up there.

Eventually, Owen agrees to put Scott back in charge and go exploring like a proper adventurer, giving back the sheriff hat after a rousing speech.

Once Owen has left, Scott starts putting Chromia back to rights, and Owen… well…

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[OWEN] O- Uh. Hey, can you help me with this? Hey! Can—Can you guys help me with this? Can you help me with this?

[OWEN, SOUNDING ECHO-Y] Can you help me with this!

Outro

And with that, join us next week for more chaos and shenanigans! Thank you for watching, liking, and subscribing, and thanks to everyone helping with the project, check them all out below!

#empires recap #empires season 2 recap #transcript

[oasispiner]

Crash bandicoot 2 cold hard crash all boxes

#Crash bandicoot 2 cold hard crash all boxes full

Continued abuse of our services will cause your IP address to be blocked indefinitely. Please fill out the CAPTCHA below and then click the button to indicate that you agree to these terms. If you wish to be unblocked, you must agree that you will take immediate steps to rectify this issue. If you do not understand what is causing this behavior, please contact us here. I play through the entire game from start to finish, and I collect every single gem.

#Crash bandicoot 2 cold hard crash all boxes full

If you promise to stop (by clicking the Agree button below), we'll unblock your connection for now, but we will immediately re-block it if we detect additional bad behavior. As the title suggests, this is a full 105 walkthrough of Crash Bandicoot 3. Overusing our search engine with a very large number of searches in a very short amount of time.Using a badly configured (or badly written) browser add-on for blocking content.Running a "scraper" or "downloader" program that either does not identify itself or uses fake headers to elude detection.Using a script or add-on that scans GameFAQs for box and screen images (such as an emulator front-end), while overloading our search engine.There is no official GameFAQs app, and we do not support nor have any contact with the makers of these unofficial apps. Continued use of these apps may cause your IP to be blocked indefinitely. This triggers our anti-spambot measures, which are designed to stop automated systems from flooding the site with traffic. Some unofficial phone apps appear to be using GameFAQs as a back-end, but they do not behave like a real web browser does.Using GameFAQs regularly with these browsers can cause temporary and even permanent IP blocks due to these additional requests. If you are using Maxthon or Brave as a browser, or have installed the Ghostery add-on, you should know that these programs send extra traffic to our servers for every page on the site that you browse.The most common causes of this issue are: Walkthrough: Clear Gem - Destroy all of the 93 crates 1 Secret Portal leading to a secret level (Totally Fly) 1 Bonus Area Note - The secret portal teleports you out of the stage, so it is recommended to make two playthroughs of the level - one to clear all the crates (including the bonus section), and the other one dedicated to accessing the secret portal. What's up with these early levels being so hard for platinum gosh! The pits is one of the hardest levels to speedrun and also is a perfect example of showing how STUPID AND RIDICULOUS THOSE HITBOXES ARE! Yes hitboxes ruin this for me I jump over the bird I get hit I jump late I'm fine like what the hell!? This level was already frustrating the first time and with those ridiculous hitboxes it doesn't make it even better because it leads to unnecessary deaths which leads to more unnecessary tries which eventually leads to you having a great time and you get a gold cross after 2 hours of trying and then 2 more go by and FINALLY! You can get a good enough time maybe you tied it but it counted as a win so you moved on because your freakin done with this level and that's only after 4 HOURS! You also got the dumbest thing in crash games these pits you jump over to get to there's like 3 of them because really I didn't suffer enough with the birds and the turtles and just to jump and slide at the right time and do that all in one run really isn't that great I absolutely hated it.Your IP address has been temporarily blocked due to a large number of HTTP requests. I dont like those narrow pathways full of those evil robot things that float up and down and then they hit you and then you hate life because you just fall down and life sucks! You also got boxes on these things which is just great, let me waste time and spin them messing up my speed and eventually running into the robots. Clearing out Level 18 and getting all the boxes.Don't forget to check out my other channel (Silent Storm) for the latest video updates and other content unde. w CT A Green Boxes - Spin or jump on these boxes to detonate ALL of the. And then we got those hanging areas which are a little wierd to navigate and sometimes you gotta just go and bolt for the way to go to beat them, and you cant afford to wait because either they go slow and some go fast and stopping for even a second loses you the run. Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back Tips and Hints PlayStation Hint Line. This level does not it involves just going through those tight pipeways with those scrubadubdub robots and the swinging barrels that will be tricky to avoid as well as those weird rats. A really hard one which even starts off with getting around the scientist with a flamethrower and while the last level like eel deal was considered especially with those propellers you had to jump through and that was a huge pain but that level offered 3 aku aku masks for invincibility so you didn't have to do that crap for the most part.

#Crash bandicoot 2 cold hard crash all boxes

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen x gender neutral reader #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #sunoo x reader #jungwon x reader #niki x reader #jungw8ns

[dreaammybeloved]

𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝘀) : 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐱𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀: 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍

clay was currently speedrunning off stream, while i stayed on his bed watching niki’s stream. she was playing phasmaphobia with will, scott and shubble. it was a very funny stream

“baby” he said all of a sudden and i looked up from my screen at him

“what’s up?” he made a motion signalling to come and i put my laptop down on the bed, getting out of bed and walking to his gaming chair.

he patted his lap and i sat down softly, facing his monitor. i kept some of my weight on my feet so he didn’t have too much pressure on him. i was still self conscious about my weight and even though clay always told me how perfect he found me, old habits never die

he rested his chin on my shoulder wrapping his arms around my waist. we stayed in a comfortable silence and then he unwrapped his arms, using them to pull us closer to his desk. he continued to play minecraft, while i watched. while he played, i subconsciously started putting more of my weight into my legs

“don’t fucking do that” he mumbled, bringing me closer to him. “i want all of you” i sighed and rested all my weight on him. “good girl” he let out a breath and kissed my neck before going back to playing minecraft

“i’m too heavy” i whispered. “i don’t wanna hurt you” i confessed, looking back at him. his face softened and he sighed

“you’re not hurting me. i love you y/n including how much you weigh kitten” he reassured in a soft voice, kissing my cheek after he finished. he took his hands away from his keyboard and mouse, showing no interest in playing anymore. he wrapped both his arms around me securely and hiding his face into the side of my neck

“you’re perfect baby, got it?” i slowly nodded my head. “don’t ever do that again” he mumbled against my skin as he started to kiss my neck and shoulder

“i’m sorry, it’s just habit” clay stopped kissing me and took his head away from my shoulder, looking up at me

“don’t apologise. i know it’s habit but i’m here to get you out of that habit” he smiled at me, i couldn’t help but smile back. i tried to get off his lap but clay whined and pulled me back down

“no, don’t go please” he whined. i got up and turned towards him, straddling his lap instead. he smiled and brought my head down to his chest

“i love you, you do know that right y/n?” clay questioned, gently running his index finger down my bare spine

“you tell me everyday. i love you too” i answered back, nuzzling my face into his shoulder. he wrapped his arms around me even tighter and gently swayed left and right on his chair. we stayed in a comfortable silence for the next 10 minutes

“clay, can we go onto the bed?” i questioned. clay hummed in response. i tried to back out of clays lap, but he didn’t budge. instead he placed hands under my thighs and stood up, picking me up in the process. i shrieked and wrapped my legs around his torso. clay giggled and walked us over to the bed

he placed me down on our bed, closing my laptop and placing it on the bedside table. he tumbled into the space next to me and immediately wrapping his arms around me

#dream x reader #dream smp #fluff #dream fluff #mcyttwt #dwt imagine #gaming #writers #dreamwastaken

[daydreamingsora-fics]

CHEERS!

Pairing: Sugawara Koushi x ex!reader x drunk friend atsumu word count: 1,8k words Synopsis: When everyone passed out after the wild celebration of New Year in Kenma’s apartment, you and your tipsy ex boyfriend, Sugawara, along with Daichi, Kenma, and Akaashi stayed up to take care of a broken hearted and drunk Atsumu, who just have broken up with his longtime girlfriend. As the night goes deeper, your conversations go deeper too and all of you start reminiscing about the past.

<sora’s memo> this is my first post after going on hiatus and my first for the year, this was inspired by the official art of greetings for 2021, where they they celebrated new in Kenma’s and they were watching Lev in a game show. Sorry if I’m posting vv slow, school is actually killing me but yeah I’ll try my best to post more uwu. I hope you will enjoy this imagine :3 Have a great day my loves~~ take care and stay safe sunshines <33

The new year’s eve mini celebration has come to an end, everyone is drunk and sleeping on the cushion placed in the living room besides you, Akaashi, Kenma, Daichi and your ex-boyfriend Sugawara. The five of you cleaned up the mess that your drunk friends made then you guys decided to have your chill drinking session. You guys are gathered around beside the cushion where your drunk friends are sleeping and talking about how your life has been. 

“It’s been a while since I last saw Y/N” Your tipsy ex-boyfriend said which you agreed by nodding your head. 

“Really? How long has it been?” Daichi asked the two of you as he sipped his drink. 

“2 to 3 years I guess” you answered, trying to remember how long it has been since you and Sugawara last saw each other. 

“Really? Time really did said speedrun” Daichi joked which made the five of you chuckle.

“That’s so fucking corny, Daichi” Suga commentend while he shakes his head. After his comment, everyone is silent but this silent is not the awkward one. It’s like all of you agreed silently to reminisce about the past. The memories that once happened before but will never happen again.

“Not gonna lie though, I thought you guys will end up together” your former classmate, Kenma, broke the silence. You and Suga looked up to him while Akaashi and Daichi agreed. 

“That’s true, I thought I’ll be your best man in your wedding but I guess that’s not gonna happen,” Daichi said as he took another sip of his drink. His comment made you and Suga smiled painfully as you both remember each other’s promises when the two of you were still dating.

The break up is very unexpected⎯⎯ no one really thought about the two of you breaking up because for them, your relationship was perfect. The two of you are the perfect match, you being the chaotic girlfriend you are and Suga being the collective sweet boyfriend that helps to calm you down. Even though you live in Tokyo while Suga lives in Miyagi, the two of you still have the time to communicate and your faith in each other is strong. To the eyes of everyone, your relationship is the relationship that everyone would wish to have, a sweet, chill and healthy relationship. That’s why everyone was bummed out when they heard about your break up because they all assumed after you finished college, you and Suga will then tie the knot. Well, that’s what the two of you expected too but maybe that event was not meant to happen. 

“Not to be rude but why did the two of you broke up?” Akaashi asked after he took a sip in his drink. You looked at the former fukurodani setter then let out a deep sigh when you recall how the last months of your relationship with Suga became toxic and unhealthy. 

“Hmmm, the last months of our relationship became too toxic. We constantly fought and it became unhealthy to us. Plus, we don’t have much time for each other. Suga was a graduating student that time while I’m on my third year of college. If we have time to meet, the two of us will always end up fighting” You explained as Suga nods as a sign of agreement.  

“Let’s just say that somethings are not really meant to happen even though it looks perfect to the eyes of everyone”. Suga added 

“True”you immediately agreed as you chugged down your drink. 

“That shit hurts” Daichi commented, everyone felt the pain on Suga’s statement. You and Suga just laugh the pain away, until now, even you and Suga have moved on already, the pain is still there. 

You and Suga considered each other as a blessing in your life. The two of you were present when one of you faced the downhill of their life. For Suga, you kept him sane, when he’s doubting his capability, you are there to hype him up and remind him how great he is. Meanwhile, for you, Suga helps you to calm your chaotic ass, he gives you the greatest affection you will ever have. You became each other's anchor. That’s why it’s still painful for both of you, especially now that you both realized that the only thing you guys could do is to look back on the memories when you were together. 

“Wow, that fucking really hurts, dude.” all of you shrieked when you heard the hoarse voice and look back to see a sobbing blonde boy sitting on the cushion. 

“What the fuck? Why are you still awake?!” kenma asked the drunk setter of MSBY.

“Can I guys sit with you?” Atsumu ignored Kennma’s question “please” he added, letting out a sobbed. You felt bad to see him crying so you let him join the circle. Daichi stood up to help Atsumu but the blonde boy told him he’s fine. The two of them walked over to your group and took a seat.

“Are you awake for the whole time?” akaashi asked the boy and Atsumu nodded as his answer.

“Can’t sleep,” he answered.

“And you’ve been crying, as you listen to our conversation?” you asked him which he just answered with a hum. The group went silent and the only thing that could be heard was Atsumu's quiet sobs. You guys remained quiet and watched Atsumu cry.

“Can you… can you tell me how?” Atsumu sobbed and wiped the tears. “How to stop feeling this pain” he continued, the tears that he tries to wipe off seem to pour out even more. The five of you felt bad for him because he and his former girlfriend just broke up.  

“Ah, fuck” he cursed feeling frustrated with the tears that doesn’t seems want to stop from faling. Nobody dares to talk, all of you just let the boy in front of you to cry his eyes out. This is the first time for all of you to see Atsumu this broken, all of you are used to the cocky and loud Atsumu.

After 6 years of being in a relationship, this is the first time that Atsumu celebrated new year without Airi, his long term girlfriend. Their relationship is really different from yours and Suga’s but you can really say that they’re happy together. Unlike yours, Atsumu and Airi’s relationship was like the opposite of the relationship you had. People didn’t expect them to last long, they assumed that after months they will eventually broke up. Their relationship is not everyone’s ideal because they thought their relationship is toxic. But little did these people know that they’re also a perfect match to each other. Atsumu and Airi bring out the best in each other and you know this because you have witnessed how they bloomed together.

“Sorry” Atsumu apologizes as he tries to collect himself. He took a couple of deep breaths as an attempt of composing himself but failed as tears started to pour out again. 

“No, it’s fine” 

“Yeah, cry all you want” Akaashi and Kenma assured Atsumu, also feeling bad for him. 

“Say y/n and Sugawara-san, you guys had experienced this right? Mutual break-up. Can you tell me what I should do?” his question caught everyone off guard, especially you and Suga. You shared glances with Suga then took a sip in your drink before answering him. 

“To be honest, I don’t know because when Suga and I broke up, I felt so fucking lost but then I just go with the flow” you answered him, now you’re literally reminiscing your break up and you remember how you felt so lost during that time. 

“When we broke up, I tried to show Y/N that I’m fine because I know she will feel guilty but I know she knew I’m not really fine. I actually feel lost for months too after our break-up and just like Y/N, I just go with the flow.” Suga shared his thoughts to the boy. “Only you can answer your own question, Atsumu” he added before chugging his drink down. 

You guys are silent again and only Atsumu's quiet sob can be heard. You let the boy to cry his eyes out because that’s only solution to lessen the pain.

“Fuck, I just want this pain to stop” he whined as he look up in to stop his tears from falling. He then cover his eyes with his arms and said “I’m so fucking pathetic” he chuckled dryly. You can hear the sadness in your bestfriend’s ex-boyfriend even you felt sad for him.  

“You’re not pathetic, Tsumu. I know how shitty mutual break-up is” you comforted the blonde boy rubbing his back up and down. “You can’t mostly question anything, because the two of you agreed to it and all you can do is accept the fact that the both of you are not meant for each other” you added as you remember how much pain you felt before when you and Koshi decided to end your relationship. You remember how many times you cried to sleep because you miss him so much. 

Atsumu just scoffed as he agreed to what you just said. It’s true, all of his questions have answers already and he also agreed to breaking up with Airi because he knows himself that it’s not the same as before. 

“You know, I agreed to what Daichi-san had said earlier,” Atsumu started. “I thought you and Suga will get married then Airi and I will be there to attend your wedding.” he continued. Him being honest, he was actually disappointed when he heard the news about you and Suga breaking up.

“I even remember that Y/n and I already have the list who we should plan to invite and who would be the best man and bride’s maid of our wedding” Suga admitted which made you chuckle as you remember that conversation with Suga. 

“Really? Can you share your supposed wedding plan” Akaashi said, feeling curious.

“Hmm, Y/n and I planned to have a small wedding celebration. We don’t want it to be a grand wedding. We would just invite our close family members and our close friends” Suga shared with a smile on his face. 

“I didn’t expect for Y/n to want a small wedding celebration” Kenma commented.

“Well, I don’t want to ruin that special day by inviting people who aren’t even important to me” you answered back making your former classmate chuckle. Atsumu suddenly remembered when him and Airi got into that topic, he remember how he want to have grand wedding while Airi just want it to be small wedding celebration. 

“Airi and I have also had a conversation like that before, the two of us already have a theme for it and even have a guest list.” Atsumu told the five of you with a smile on his face because he imagined how Airi smiled as she talks about it before. 

“But I guess those plans will never happen. It will just remain as a plan.” he smile slowly disappears as he realizes that it will never happen.

“Right… it will only be part of our memory” you quietly agreed while your other friends, nodded their head and silently said “right” 

“Well, then ... “ Daichi poured a whiskey on his red cup.

“cheers for the one who are here, cheers for the one who we lost, and lastly, cheers for the memories.” he continued as he raise his red cup up.

Everyone followed his action and clang their cups as they say “CHEERS~!” then chugged down their drinks. 

/bonus part/

“I feel like I’m going to puke” the blonde boy said as he felt the food he ate rising up to his throat. The five of you suddenly felt panicked from what he said and some of you begin whisper shouting.

“WHAT THE FUCK ATSUMU” 

“WE NEED A PLASTIC BAG NOOOOW!!!”

“GO BRING HIM TO THE BATHROOM”

If it’s not for Daichi immediately dragging Atsumu to the bathroom, he would have vomited on the living room. 

THE END

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader #sugawara angst #sugawara imagine #sugawara scenario #hq sugawara #haikyuu angst #Miya Atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #haikyuu sugawara #hq atsumu #atsumu imagines #atsumu scenarios #atsumu angst #karasuno scenarios #karasuno imagines #inarizaki scenarios #inarizaki imagines

[qm-vox]

So You Want To Play Hades

I spent six hours coming up with that title because I have problems in my mind which I refuse to either examine or resolve.

So, Hades! The latest work from Supergiant Games, who brought you the interactive soundtracks to Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre, all superb games in their own rights known for their intuitive gameplay, build-your-own-hard-mode difficulty style, incredible atmosphere and characterization, thought-provoking stories, and that sexy, sexy fuckin’ music.

Like, listen to this sometime it’s amazing (all of their soundtracks are available from them on Youtube, by the by, though if you like ‘em you can support the creators by buying the music from them directly too):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH3Aoj1nw58

You’re likely asking, quite reasonably, why in the infinite and undying fuck I’m writing this post right now, and the long and short of it is I want more people to talk Hades with so now y’all are gonna get hit with the sales pitch and what I hope will be a helpful beginner’s guide if you decide to get into the game. Let’s get into that first part, shall we?

Thou Shalt Subject Your Gods To Market Forces

(Image sourced from Supergiant’s website)

Hades is an action-roguelike/lite that places you in the role of Prince Zagreus, secret son of Hades. Zag is trying to move out of his father’s house and live somewhere else for awhile and, well, Dad’s just being an entire dick about the whole thing. Hades challenges you to face down the endless ranks of the dead one chamber at a time, gathering the resources you need to breach upward through the Greek underworld and open the mighty gates into the living world. You can acquire it on Steam or on the Epic Store.

How do you know if Hades is or isn’t for you? If you like action games with tight controls and widely varied playstyles, we’ve got you covered here (if you’re thinking in terms of previous Supergiant offerings, Bastion has the most bones in). Hades also offers a great character-focused narrative, centering around the relationships Zagreus has and develops with the people around him - from legendary shades like Achilles and Sisyphus, to the gods of Olympus, to the cthonic gods of the underworld like Charon, Nyx, and the Furies - which fully incorporates the conceits of the genre. Unlike many roguelikes which sorta quietly elide failed runs or deaths, Zag’s defeats are part of his journey. After all, he’s already in the underworld. Where the fuck else is he going to go when he dies? Connecticut?

Though I can gush about the characters and narrative all day (and I’ll do it a bit more later), don’t get me wrong: Hades expects you to perform some pretty tight mechanics. Since dying is just the end of this run and not the game, the game feels pretty free to take brutal measures; the environments you move in are full of deadly traps, the seething ranks of the dead outnumber you to vast degrees, and you’ll fight a dizzying mix of opponents who do not hesitate to catch you in cross-fires, push you into lava, or drop bombs when you kill them because fuck you for succeeding you weird godling bastard. If you get easily frustrated or flustered, Hades may be quite stressful for you; before it’s anything else, it’s an action game with a heavy focus on combat, and if you decide to ride this train that’s the price of the ticket. If you relish the challenge and especially if you like the satisfaction of watching your play improve, though, it’s one hell of a ride.

In terms of accessibility features, Hades is a mixed bag. It has subtitles and aim assistance available, as well as a variety of supported languages and control adjustments which can alter how you do things like dash or attack, but it’s missing, for instance, a colorblind mode (and that’s gonna be important here in a minute), and many enemy behaviors & traps have audio cues which are not part of the current subtitle support. A rumble feature for controllers that have it is supported; Hades strongly suggests the use of a controller, but I know several players who choose to use a mouse & keyboard and seem to prefer it. Semi-recently, a God Mode option was added which empowers you when it’s turned on and does so further every time you die; it’s the closest Hades comes to an ‘easy’ mode, and while reception of it from my fellow players has been highly positive I’ve not tried it for myself.

If you’ve liked action games in the past, I’d highly endorse giving Hades a try as long as it’s accessible for you. The current build of the game (just before formal release) is selling at $24.99 USD on Steam right now, and like...I am not a highly skilled Gaming Individual(tm). I lose at games a lot. I play most of my games on Easy or maybe Normal if I’m really feeling like my dick is big - and with that in mind, I loved this one enough to buy it twice. I love the tight feeling of the combat, the way the mechanics feel, its gorgeous environments and its captivating characters. Hell, that’s why I’m out here writing a whole-ass article.

Stealth, Guile, Subtlety, And Other Things You Will Not Need - Getting Started In Hades

(Artwork sourced from the Hades wiki)

So you’ve decided to acquire Hades, you already own it, or the first part of this article was intriguing enough for you to look at the advice portion and see what sort of game you could be dealing with. Hades can be intimidating at first; it throws a lot of stuff at you, very quickly, and while it gives you some strong guidance on what to do with many of the resources you’ll acquire not all of those uses are immediately intuitive. The following is a guide to help your first few runs go a bit more smoothly and work on the fundamentals that will help you through your entire experience.

Let’s start with some General Tips that will help you out with every run and every weapon:

- Relax. No, seriously: relax. You haven’t ‘failed’ a run if you don’t beat the final boss. Hell, you probably haven’t even ‘failed’ a run if you die in Tartarus. If you learned something or got any permanent resource - gemstones, darkness, nectar, keys, blood, diamonds, ambrosia - then that run was a success. Even if the game wasn’t currently early access and thus without a proper ‘end’ at the moment, it’s supposed to be fun. Don’t castigate yourself for dying, just dive screaming back in and rip your vengeance from the spectral chest of your slayer.

- Always Be Moving. You only have so many hit points (you start a save file with a max of 50 and the most you can start a given run with is 200) and healing is limited over the course of a run. If you’re standing still, you’re getting hit. Zag’s quick on his feet - keep him moving and use your dash liberally. Once you’ve dealt some damage, leave and let your enemies swing at empty air, then dash back in and bully them back into their graves. When you start a dash you’re invulnerable until the dash finishes, which can make for some real cheeky dodges once you’ve had time to learn enemy timing.

- Watch And Learn. Early on in the game you’ll be learning about new enemies every chamber, especially when you start transferring to new zones and all of the enemies you’ve been facing just stop being a thing. Take the chance to know your foe! You’re not on a clock: don’t leap into the fight immediately. Dash around and watch how your enemies move and attack. What’s the limitations of their tactics? The reach on their attacks? How fast do they swing and move? If you’d like to watch some of that stuff ahead of time, I’d like to suggest amber_cxc’s Twitch channel: she’s been doing a lot of runs and speedruns of Hades of late, among the other games she plays.

- Manipulate Your Rewards. Certain things in Hades can only be offered a limited number of times per run, and once you’ve hit your quota they stop appearing. You can take advantage of this to get more Boons, Centaur Hearts, and Poms of Power. Specifically, you can only have up to two Daedelus Hammers and up to three Hermes Boons. If you can knock these out early I highly endorse doing so; they’re never bad to have, and even if somehow you want none of what they have to offer getting them off the RNG will help you later. Additionally, you can use Keepsakes (more on these in a minute) to manipulate who you get Boons from, when, by changing in and out of them at each biome. In this way you can control the shape of your build for the run.

- Accept That Your Dick Energy Is Fucking Huge. A lot of games try to keep you humble. Dark Souls is infamous for it, of course, and others in this genre such as Crypt of the Necrodancer and Enter the Gungeon do not reward haste at all. That is not this game. Walk into Hades like you’re the lord god of the Big Dick Dimension even if you know you’re not; take risks and learn from experience how you can mitigate, manipulate, or cancel out those risks. That unearned confidence won’t just help you with tip one (Relax), it’ll help you practice in those high-pressure situations which will occur more and more as your Heat rises.

- A Brief Note On Projectiles. This game has a few kinds of projectiles that you’ll need to learn to identify. Balls and Arrows can be broken - hit them with an Attack and they pop and won’t hurt you. Waves cannot be broken; they travel fast along the ground and have to be dodged or deflected. Lasers can neither be broken nor deflected. Traps can’t be broken, and deflecting them doesn’t always make them safe for you; these include the lava balls in Asphodel, Inferno Bombs, and the shit spit out by Bothers and Pests. Know your foe and always be moving.

In terms of the resources you’re offered, there are broadly two kinds: in-run resources, and out-of-run resources. Let’s talk briefly about in-run ones.

- Boons: Boons are the powerful gifts of your Olympian relatives. They change how you play during your run by augmenting your abilities (like your Attack, Special, or Dash) or by offering passive benefits. In general, look at Aphrodite, Athena, or Dionysus if you want powerful defenses, Ares, Artemis, or Zeus for powerful attacks, and Poseidon and Demeter for a combination of damage and utility. Different gods will be good with different weapons, and we’ll get into that later. Boons have a Rarity and a Level; Rarity determines their starting power and how well they scale if they do scale, and Level is that scaling.

- Centaur Hearts: +25 max and current HP for this run. Do you like not dying?

- Poms of Power: Poms increase the Level of a Boon by 1, which generally makes it better at doing whatever it does. Not all Boons will level up, but the ones that you can attach to your Attack, Special, Cast, Dash, or Call always do. You do eventually hit diminishing returns with these, so you’ll generally want to spread the love around if you keep picking up Poms.

- Obols: DOLLAH DOLLAH BILLS Y’ALL. Obols are the coins preferred by Charon, the Ferryman, who will take them from you for goods and services. Obols can be turned into all other resources - even out-of-run resources. They’re almost always a great choice of investment.

These in-run resources are presented as potential rewards when you’re selecting chambers. I tend to run heavy on Boons and Obols myself, but your own play style is likely to differ! Experiment with the feel of acquiring various rewards and see what you like to invest in. After all, they’re only for the run you’re on; you literally can��t take it with you.

Out-of-run resources are used to permanently advance Zagreus’s power, his relationships, or both. They are as follows:

- Cthonic Keys: Used to unlock new weapons and new parts of the Mirror of Night. Once your weapons and Mirror are wholly unlocked these keys stop being useful more or less instantly, and can be safely traded at the Wretched Broker between runs to acquire Nectar (but see Gemstones, below).

- Gemstones: Early in the game, Gemstones can be traded in at the House Contractor between runs in order to enhance the underworld; in particular, they can be used to install fountain rooms, to open up access to Chaos and Erebus, to give you access to Infernal Troves (and upgrade said troves), and to add in-run resources to Keys, Nectar, and Gemstones. These services are in the first tab of the House Contractor and you should buy them out as soon as possible so that your runs can springboard off of these powerful additions. Once that’s taken care of, Gemstones can be used to renovate the House of Hades, including Zag’s bedroom and the lounge, again at the House Contractor.

- Nectar: The nectar of the gods is in short supply in the underworld, and is a treasured gift that Zagreus can offer to his friends. In most cases, the first time you give a character Nectar they will trade you a powerful Keepsake in return; these are run-altering tools you select at the start of each run and change how you play. Early on, spread the love, but once you’re full up on Keepsakes you can feel free to develop relationships through gift-giving however you see fit.

- Darkness: The power of Night is used to give permanent, powerful passive benefits to Zagreus via the Mirror of Night in his bedroom. I would suggest using Darkness to get your extra Dash and extra hit points before anything else, but once you’ve got those tools kinda fuck around and find out. Eventually a dialogue option with Nyx will unlock the flip side of the Mirror’s talents, which must be developed separately and cost even more Darkness; you’ll want lots of this and you’ll want it for a very long time. Oh, and try to save aside 8,888 Darkness for a rainy day. You’ll need it.

- Titan Blood: Offered by the first and last bosses at each level of Heat (more on Heat later). Titan Blood is used to upgrade your weapons, making them better at doing all of the things they do, as well as to unlock Aspects of those weapons. We’re still shy one Aspect as of the latest patch, so ah, don’t stop collecting this. You’ll always have a use for it.

- Diamonds: Offered by the second boss at each level of Heat. Diamonds are used to buy plot-relevant renovations to the House of Hades, to advance certain relationships, and to acquire the fishing minigame and in-game access to the soundtrack within the House. Like Blood, you’ll have a use for these for a long, long time.

- Ambrosia: Offered by the third boss at each level of Heat. When you reach the point at which you can no longer offer people Nectar, genuine Ambrosia from Olympus becomes the princely gesture by which you can show your gratitude. You may be tempted to trade this for Blood early on. Don’t.

When you’re starting out, Darkness and Gemstones will be the gods of your new world, followed closely by Cthonic Keys You’ll run out of immediate need for Gemstones faster than you will for Darkness, but by that time you’ll either be comfortable with Hades or you’ll have determined it’s not for you. Focus on unlocking access to your new weapons, upgrading the underworld itself, and paying off your talents; at this stage, escaping the underworld isn’t really a priority so much as setting up for your eventual triumph is.

And When You Can No Longer Lay Waste - Infernal Arms And Heat

(Artwork sourced from the Hades Wiki)

The assault rifle with under-slung mortar launcher is definitely my favorite ancient Greek weapon.

So I’ve mentioned unlocking weapons, and I’ve mentioned that Hades offers varied play styles, so I suppose I ought to talk about them. Zagreus’s weapons - his Infernal Arms - form the first layer of your play style choices, which will be augmented by your in-run choices, and the second layer comes in the form of the Pact of Punishment and its Heat. Each weapon has differing values for its attacks and behaves very differently. I’m not gonna give you the specific numbers here - we have a wiki for that - and will instead make some general statements on how they play and what might pair well with them.

- Stygius, the Blade of the Underworld: You start each save file with this bad boy. Stygius is a generalist weapon that leans somewhat towards speed; its Attack is a three-hit combo that ends in a Thrust with knockback, while its Dash Attack (note: these are not the same with ANY weapon) is solely the Thrust, still with knockback. Its Special, slower than the Attack, is a high-damage shockwave that breaks enemy projectiles and knocks them back. You might be asking yourself, Vox, why would I Special when it makes people leave sword range, at which point I will direct you back to Always Be Moving; your Special makes your enemies Go Away, which saves you hit points. Stygius can build into almost anything, though its Attack benefits the least from Zeus and Poseidon, and is notable for having the most wild fucking Hammer options. Some of them do little things like make your Special bigger, but then you get stuff like Hoarding Slash (deal extra damage equal to 5% of your Obols), World Splitter (you do one big swing with a base damage of 80) and motherfucking CURSED SLASH, which is where Stygius rips a line of cocaine off of a mirror, cuts your health by 60%, and then heals you for 2 every time you hit something. My advice for this is whatever you start down, commit. Stygius might build into anything, but it can’t build into everything: once you choose a boon path, pick things to compliment that and go fucking ham.

- Varatha, the Eternal Spear: The forgotten child of Hades’ weapons, Varatha is a versatile weapon that, like Stygius, does a bit of everything - and unlike Stygius, does it all at the same time. Varatha’s base attack is a series of three long-range thrusts with low damage, and its Special throws the spear in a straight line, at which point it hovers in the air until you Special again; it follows a straight line from its position to your current one, damaging anything in that line. Last, but not least, you can perform a powerful Spin Attack by holding down the Attack button and charging up. Spin is one of the strongest single hits in the game, but you do have to stop moving to charge it up. However, you can dash out of the charge - even better, dashing releases the Spin at the end of your dash. This means that once you learn the timings of your charges, you can use Spin to attack and dodge at the same time, in a wide circle around yourself. Unlike Stygius, Varatha benefits to an extent from splitting your build up; its Attack wants big hitters like Aphrodite, Artemis, or Poseidon, whose high multipliers pair amazingly with the spin, while its Special can mount debuffs or stranger forms of damage like those offered by Dionysus and Ares. If you start building into one thing, but then Hammer into an alternate focus, the end result is still going to be pretty cohesive. Like Generic Goodstuff, or want a weapon to use while building up many divine relationships? Varatha does it all.

- Aegis, the Shield of Chaos: Just because this thing has the only block function in the game doesn’t mean it’s a defensive weapon. Aegis is a fast-moving melee weapon whose hits cause native knockback, slamming foes into walls, up against cliffs, and through traps & magma. Since Aegis throws people around it’s great for a highly aggressive style; dash in, hit them, and watch them slide away before they can do damage back to you. Its Special throws the shield Captain America style, where it ricochets off of opponents and obstacles before eventually returning. Use this with care; you can’t attack or block while your Special is out. Holding down the Attack button begins to charge a Bull Rush; while you’re charging, you’re immune to damage in the direction the shield is facing, and then when you release you dash to the end of the indicated line, damaging anything you hit. Despite how sexy that sounds, Bull Rush is honestly kinda slow and can be hard to build for specifically; instead, Bull Rush is best used to get out of bad situations, or to outlast big long boss combos, especially those used by the first and second bosses who are known to spit out absolute STREAMS of projectiles. Aegis hits fast and gets lots of bonus damage against normal enemies by bullying them against walls for that sweet, sweet Wall Slam damage, but it craves big damage multipliers less than some other weapons; consider using Zeus, Dionysus, or Demeter for your Attack, saving big damage choices for if you can get a Dash Attack build going. Special is great for mounting utility like Aphrodite or Poseidon that let you control the engagement further, just remember to think before you hit the yeet button.

- Coronacht, the Heart-Seeking Bow: Meet your first ranged weapon! Coronacht deals damage in a straight line by charging up a shot; when your line flashes, release the shot for a Power Shot that deals extra damage. Its Special is...bad, I’m gonna be real; it’s a wide-sweeping volley of arrows that deal individually low damage and will rarely, if ever, hit the same target. Still, it has its uses. Coronacht benefits from either high damage or battlefield control on its Attack; look into Artemis, Aphrodite, Demeter, and Poseidon. Its Special is harder to build for, but Ares and Zeus both do well on it since they can cause damage out of proportion with the range and/or area of your volley. Play keep-away and use distance to get off those charge shots, and remember that you can break projectiles and hit multiple enemies with each attack. Avoid mounting odd damage (Ares or Dionysus) or utility (Athena) on your Attack; it’s not going to come out fast enough to take meaningful advantage of those tools.

- Malphon, the Twin Fists: Easily the angriest weapon in all of Hades, Malphon is a pair of massive fuck-off gauntlets that are used for fast-moving combos at extremely short range. It is unique in that its Attack has a Dash Attack, and its Special - a massive uppercut - has a dash upper, letting you sweep in and deal big damage in a tight area immediately. Though each of Malphon’s hits are individually small, it throws out so fucking many of them that you can put almost anything on your Attack and it’ll work out. Athena Attack? Why not, you’ll be swinging when the enemy is. Dionysus Attack? Poison stacking has never been easier! Artemis Attack? Sure, you don’t do a lot of base damage, but you swing so often that you’ll crit constantly and take advantage of passives like Support Fire. Your Special has much higher base damage and can easily become the focus of your build, and because it moves slower it wants bigger damage multipliers like Artemis or Aphrodite if it’s your focus. If it’s not your focus, consider Poseidon in its slot (to get enemies to Go Away) or a god that will combo with your Attack (for instance, if you’re doing Demeter Attack, consider Zeus Special so you can potentially pick up the Cold Fusion boon and get 10 seconds of free damage every time you tap the Special button). You pay a price for this ease of use: Malphon’s range is directly inside the enemy’s ass, which means you need to have razor-thin timing to dash out of the way of attacks and keep your combos going, especially if you get swarmed. Since Malphon can mount and build literally fucking anything, it’s the ideal weapon to use if you want to power-level Keepsakes; slap something on at the start of a run and then just never take it off. Sure, you’re letting the Three Fates decide your build, but fuck it, it all just works!

- The Adamant Rail: What if you invaded the underworld with a fucking machine gun. The Adamant Rail has an ammo counter; each Attack takes 1 bullet (and Dash Attack takes and fires 2), and you reload by pressing the right-hand stick in. Its Special is a slow-moving mortar that hits in a wide area. The Rail is a powerful and versatile weapon capable of engaging at great range, which tends to build either Attack or Special. If you’re building Special, look for big hits like Aphrodite, Artemis, or even Poseidon, and any Special upgrade at all from the Hammers. Attack usually wants utility or stacks - stuff like Poseidon, Demeter, Dionysus, or Zeus - but certain Hammer upgrades like Spread Shot might make it more worthwhile to invest in big hits for it if you get them early. However! Just because you’ve decided on a focus doesn’t mean you should neglect the other half of your weapon. For instance, an Attack-focused build might still entertain the Targeting System upgrade so that you can more easily land your hits and avoid the enemy, while a Special-focused one benefits from mounting debuffs like Weak or Chill on its Attack.

For any weapon, once you settle into a play style you enjoy, find ways to be rewarded for what you’re already going to do. If you enjoy, say, the Chiron Aspect for the bow which makes it into a Special-focused weapon, mount benefits like Doom or Weak on its Attack since you still have to use that to make your shit go-go. This applies more broadly too; if you’re saving up Gemstones for something, for instance, use the extra money you get during your run to visit the shops earlier and more often. Let Hades reward you for doing the things you already want to do.

To close this guide out I’m going to briefly touch on Heat, which is how Supergiant Games has manifested their signature build-your-own-hard-mode approach. After you clear the game with any weapon for the first time, you acquire access to the Pact of Punishment. This Pact lets you turn on hostile modifiers to your run, which each have a Heat value; once you clear the game with a weapon at any given level of Heat (0, 1, 2, etc) you can only get Titan’s Blood, Diamonds, and Ambrosia with that weapon by advancing to the next level of Heat. In this way the game gradually gets harder on a weapon-by-weapon basis.

So, what modifiers to turn on? Depends on what you’re good at and bad at, but I would highly, highly suggest that you get used to Extreme Measures, Middle Management, and Benefits Package as soon as possible. Not only are they sources of big Heat by themselves that don’t change too much of the run by themselves, but their primary difficulty is knowledge-based; once you know them, they’re practically free real estate. Since Heat is tracked per-weapon and not in total, you can also always go back to weapons you’re not as good with and use practice with them as an excuse to get more permanent resources that you can pour into the ones you prefer.

Obviously this guide is not comprehensive! I’ve left out a lot of things you might want to know, like boss patterns, enemy types, and a whole lot of stuff about characters. Some of these things I’ve not talked about because I don’t want to give spoilers; others I haven’t talked about because I’m, again, actually pretty bad at games and the Hades community has talented folks whose guides on Steam, on the Reddit, and on the wiki can provide you with thorough breakdowns of the math that makes the game work. Still, it’s my hope that this can ease your entry into the world of Hades and help guide you in those early runs when it can feel like you’re spinning your wheels. I look forward to hearing from you; reblogs and commentary are welcome!

See you all in Hell.

#hades #hades supergiant #supergiant games #roguelike #action #guide #Greek Mythology #video games

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/30/19 11:39pm SU 14/? - Andi, A Fated Encounter

I had the urge to name this one Dating Start! but I’m saving that title for the next post, because we’re not going to get that far tonight. But in that context, then Bonetrousle could’ve been an wildly appropriate name for this story :3 Maybe it’d also be little less cliche, but I don’t want to pigeonhole all my posts about her into Undertale references, that’d be silly lol.

So as I was saying in my last catchup post, Jared, Storm, and I started going to boxcar most sundays. This was a sunday, must’ve be 6/24/18 based on my previous journal entry and my next one (I’ll post it later in this entry), almost immediately after having the nice acid night with Manu and reflecting on my love life and how I thought things were really shaping up for me. 

As per usual, we grabbed a table to ourselves and began to drink up some mimosas and smoke some cigarettes. It was late in the evening before we even made it out there. I think the sun was close to going down if it wasn’t dark already. I think I remember that it was one of the nights Boxcar had a live band playing.

While Jared and I smoked and shot the shit as usual, Storm started to flit around the patio meeting people. Exceptionally outgoing. I always loved that about her; it was why I was happy to spend time with her regardless of any attraction to her. She had a way of just gravitating people into the group and creating new opportunities to meet people all of the time, though admittedly it was usually guys who were attracted to her. Still always made for great conversation, though.

Tonight was a little different though. Storm caught the attention of a tall brunette, wearing short shorts and had a bright colorful tattoo of a cock (lol rooster) on her thigh. I could hear them gush to each other about their tattoos as I talked to Jared and smiled at Storm’s propensity. I believe the brunette wanted to take a chair from us to make enough places for her and her friend (a husky guy) to sit, but Storm said no, and told them to push the tables up together so that they could sit with us instead. She set a chair next to me for Andi to sit down at and introduced her to me. Andi, with an i. To my recollection looking at her I thought, “Huh she’s actually really cute. Tall. Skinny. Great body. Cute face. Kind of a big nose, but definitely fucking Cute.” and then I remember the way she shook my hand, lingering for what seemed like an eternity in just a moment or two. In my head I noted it and was like “oh really?” Then she said she loved my Ash Ketchum hat, and I explained how I had just gotten it to celebrate my speedrunning accomplishments. She thought that was incredible. I began to elaborate to Jared about how one day I’d actually follow through with speedrunning House of the Dead 2 now that we’d been playing it a little.

House of the Dead 2?! She exclaimed. I love that game! Now, mind you, I’ve literally never heard that from anyone. Even with Jared it was something like “oh yeah THAT game! So good!”  So now this cute girl has commanded my FULL attention. I start asking her about her other favorite games, and we talk about Portal for a while. We talk about DnD for a second and I say I play a tabaxi rogue, and begin to explain the catpeople race and she says “please. I Know what a tabaxi is.” Huge nerd boner lmao.

I get excited, ask if anyone wants to do tequila shots with me, she’s the only one who takes me up on it. We start to walk inside and her friend decides to join us. We’re arm in arm I think? She puts my hand on her ass, and we gallivant off towards the bar talking about DnD plots. 

I order the tequila shots, her friend insists on paying for them even though he’s visiting from Ohio. I’m like “really? what?” but at this point I’m much more accustomed to people buying me shots from my past year in Greensboro so I happily and graciously accept. We do the shots and he walks off to the bathroom. I make a quick doublecheck that they’re not dating, and then Andi and I start full-on making out. I can’t remember what even triggered it. We just looked at each other in that way like “go on, do it already,” so we did lol. 

Honestly I think she’s got the record by far for landspeed hitting it off-to-making out time (and landspeed to hookup time, but hold up on that). Like we just fucking clicked.

We’re waiting for a While to come back, so after making out for a while longer I go to check on him and he says he’s fine but he’s in a stall and I’m pretty sure he’s puking lol. Everybody has those days.

So Andi and I run off to the House of the Dead 2 cabinet to start playing, we both imitate the voices of the first scene perfectly, giggle and start making out again. And made out during every single cut scene after. I’m shooting zombies while kissing her instead of looking at the screen, it’s adorably gross. At least to me. I don’t know how You feel about it, and I don’t much care lmao. Also I don’t know if you know much about the first few levels of HotD2, but there are a smorgasbord of cut scenes with the greatest dialogue ever. You really ought to check it out.

I think we barely killed the hierophant in lvl 2, but Andi died during that boss and I only had one life left so we just let it go when I get hit on lvl 3.

We start to walk outside to our friends when I ask her if she wants to take a little detour to my car first. She says she doesn’t do anything in cars, but yes, definitely. We’re giggling like little kids meandering around trying to think of a suitable place that’s not a car. There’s a parking lot behind Greensboro’s boxcar that’s kind of tucked away in some trees. It’s not private by any means, but it’s out back and not really used since the main one is so big. There’s a little shed next to it, too, and we decide hey I think this is as good a place as any lmao.  I convinced her that I really did have a vasectomy, she made me agree to pay for her abortion if I was lying, and we laid down in that gravel parking lot right then and there and fucked the shit out of each other lol. Started with me on top, but had to shift positions a few times since she was LAYING IN GRAVEL LMAO. We did it doggystyle, and then gave up on the gravel completely and I bent her over somebody’s car. Mmm. It was fantastic. While I waited for her to put her clothes back on I excitedly stood there pantsless, swinging my dick around in public, and luckily after giggling with me for a second she told me to put my clothes back on Right before the people who owned the car we just fucked on walked up to leave lmfao. That could have been the worrrrrst. 

But it wasn’t. It was the fucking best.

We share a cigarette and smile at each other walking back to the bar. Promise not to make a big deal about it when we get back lol.

When we get back, Storm has made some more new friends. An older lady. Not old, just older, and I think some other guy are there and it’s them Storm, Jared, and Andi’s friend Brian who’s made it back from the toilet. We sit down and Andi starts talking to Brian and I’m talking to this lady who starts telling me to not make a move on Andi, how I know that she’s here with him and that I really shouldn’t. And I’m like well I mean I heard that they’re not together or anything, and she was like “yeah, but come on. You know.” And I was like honestly I do know but regardless of if he has a crush on her and drove all the way down from fucking ohio to profess his love or whatever, she’s clearly not about it. But I decide not to say any of that and just say “well it’s a little late for that advice, but thanks lmao.”

We all stayed and chatted for a while. Andi and Brian left to go home. Storm and Jared made me spill the beans on what I’d been doing, and at first I tried to play coy and act like I wasn’t going to tell because nothing happened. But that just meant they knew something HAD happened, so they pried harder lol. Sooo I excitedly told them that we fucked out in the parking lot in the back and they stared at me mouths agape like I had never seen them before. Storm was doubly excited because she thought we looked cute talking together. Jared was proud lol. High fives all around. We had another smoke and finished our drinks and had to part ways though, Storm could never stay til closing because of work and Jared had to drive her home. 

And so I went home with Andi’s number in my phone, a grin plastered to my face, a story I couldn’t wait to tell everyone I fucking knew about, and just amazingly elated to have met someone so fucking cool. 

This is the only paper entry I ever made about Andi. 

It’s funny, I had called every crush I had ever had in college “the love of my life.” Not even real crushes like Lexi, but like if I’d ever even met a girl at a party hahaha. I’m sure I got Manu absolutely sick of it. But I hadn’t called anyone the love of my life in years. Definitely not since I started fasting and shit again. I meant it to be tongue-in-cheek still, of course, but she definitely made me want to bring it back.

As far as later writing goes, from later to do lists you’ll see that I had meant to do a whole andi-stats thing that we had drunkenly(?) talked about once, but it never happened. 

I guess reflecting on everything now, I was only writing sexy paper journal entries way back when me and kailey were first dating and I was really fucked up on drugs and enjoying the sex so much. I’d roll over in the middle of the night to jot something down about caressing against her back or something. But after she cheated on me that first time with pinelli those entries stopped. And since moving out of Coolidge I’ve really only been passionate enough to write when things were going rather poorly, and when they were going good maybe I also felt like I didn’t want to jinx it. Like Rachel and Mary I clearly only felt like writing about when it was already over and I wasn’t quite ready to admit it yet. 

I definitely regret not writing more though. I also regret not saving vods of us playing games together. I don’t know why I thought things would just stay when they’re not meant to last, but that definitely sounds like me.

Alas, so this is it from the notebooks. Hope you weren’t looking forward to more of my handwritten journals. After this rather insipid post about my teeth I never made another paper entry. I suppose I was too busy texting Andi and sharing all my thoughts with her rather than keeping them to myself. 

So I guess we’ll see if we can deep dive into some texts next time. It’ll be harder to motivate myself to do a post that way (feels a little stilted and I hate doing all the scrolling back through my phone), but I think it’ll turn out cool. We’ve still got a lot of ground to cover.

💕

[singing-robot]

re: Dead Cells/Undertale

And why it would be the worst crossover ever. 

First off, I have not finished Dead Cells, and I’m trying to play it as blindly as possible, so please do not add anything further than what I mention right here in this post!!! This includes tips, runes, locations, and unseen dialogue. I’ve recently acquired my first stem cell, and have only gotten to the Concierge once in the many games I’ve started in hard mode, sodo please be mindful of that. And now, the promised content. 

This started off as a fun mashup between the two games, but the realistic side of my brain kicked in and said, “How would this actually go?” And, quite honestly, that one seemed more interesting, both in terms of how this hypothetical game would be played (I wish I could show you guys instead of just talking about it), and in the potential angst that would be held. 

The first thing I feel we need to address is how the game starts. Dead Cellsman (as I so often see him called) has a beheaded prisoner to crawl into each time you start over. Who is supplying these? I have no idea. However, I’m going to say that these bodies are either thrown down there by the same being each time you start, or Mr. Prisoner Sir finds his ride off-screen, and we only see him fall down. 

“But Robot!” you cry. “That’s so unnecessary and specific!!! Why would you bring that up?” Good question!! Because the alternative is diggging his way underground and taking over the dead body of the first fallen human. Only works once, and that’s so horrifying and disgusting that I immediately hated it as soon as I considered it, and wished I never had. The concept of eventually unlocking the other previous humans would be pretty cool if they weren’t, you know, way past their expiration date. 

Disgusting and terrible, but I needed to address it. Next section: actual fighting. 

Mr. Cellsman does not have the time for extensive dialogue and conversations. He’s thrown into prison, given a couple of weapons, and his tutorial covers a total of maybe 20 seconds between three deaths. Everything after that is a line of destruction and occasional smart remarks about something poorly lit by a blue candle. A speedrunning, monster-hacking, hilt-happy creature does not bode well for the residents of the Underground. 

He does not have much sympathy for the dead, and he criticizes those in charge of the living. I don’t blame him, honestly, but it makes me wonder how he would react to something that begged when he’s already supposed to kill it. Or if he would even give them time to do so. For the purposes of this post, he doesn’t. He sees it, he hacks it, he gains whatever coin they had on their person. All things considered, I’d say he would start off with a fairly high Level of Violence, so it would be much easier to go through the game. 

The boss fights would be very interesting. Toriel wouldn’t have any sort of connection as to a child, and would not hold back during her fight. I almost want to see it. The dogs would be the equivalent of Elites, probably. Papyrus would be absolute hell to fight, with his constant ground attacks; not to mention that you’re supposed to hit him in the middle of all of it. He’ll make it a fair fight, of course, but according to even Dead Cells logic, he will be on par with you. I think Undyne would be very similar to the Time Keeper, except you couldn’t simply break out of her hold. 

I did this in my sketchbook and I’m so glad I can make it again with real context.

To be fair, I’ve only gotten as far as Undyne, so I won’t go much farther on that topic, except on the specifics of the next section dealing with Sans, since I won’t ever play that run, anyway. (So, basically, I lied.) 

Encountering Sans at the end would be... very frustrating, to say the least. Either his fight would be very similar to the Hand of the King, or he would simply disappear every time you tried to hit him, until you figure out that there’s actually a secret passage to bypass him entirely and you’ve wasted so much time, there goes your speedrunning record. The difference here might actually count on either the time it took you to get to the end, or how thoroughly you took out the monster population. (He would probably deal more damage than Frisk ever could; getting held up so often allowed for more people to escape.) 

Wow. So. Here we are. Are you still reading this? Have you done this all in one big chunk? Please take a moment to look away from your screen, stretch, and do five real good blinks. Take in a deep breath and hold it. Hold it. A little longer. And out. Yeah, man. Breathe some of the outside stuff, too, for bonus refreshment. Maybe get some water while we’re here. This post is a little long, might as well add in a break time paragraph. I’m certainly using it as a time to stop writing, before I get into the next segment and lose 30 more minutes. Also??? Thanks for sticking through this far, it really means a lot. Especially since I haven’t edited a single bit of this so far, and probably won’t from this point on. 

All right!!! Have you stretched? Have you had some water? Did you take a big whiff of your surroundings so as to not get too lost in the sauce of this crazy post? I hope so, pal, because here comes the fun part: The Aftermath. 

When you fight Sans, he makes his accusation: you’re the anomaly in his research, and you need to be stopped. But here’s the thing: he doesn’t say that on nothing. He says that in almost full confidence, and suspected it in other runs. What gives you away? Not entirely sure, but I bet defeating the Captain of the Royal Guard without dying, or openly having zero interest in things that should be interesting, hints at it. And unless something is lit by a blue candle or offers the promise of cells and upgraded weapons, Dead Cellsman has very little interest in anything at all. 

So you could imagine that someone speedrunning through the Underground, killing everyone in his path while hardly stopping to glance at the scenery, would be waving a big red “time anomaly” flag. And if Sans managed to evade him until the end, and even had the time to overcome any shock and actually do something, that would be one horrible, inescapable fight. 

Here’s where my idea splits in two: 

1. Sans dies. You receive a special item to take out Asgore in one hit, you win, you finish the game. There is... little point in restarting it, because I’m logical and boring and the remaining monsters of the Underground wouldn’t come out of hiding for... a very long time. Longer than it’d be worth Mr. Cellsman to consider coming back for. 

So when Frisk falls, there is nothing and nobody. The place is a little dusty, a little bloody, there’s a few spare coins on the ground, but everything is utterly abandoned. The towns, the stores, the homes you can’t explore, anyway; they’re empty. It’d make for a boring game, honestly. There’s Flowey, but he’s so distracted by recent events that he doesn’t even show up when you first fall. There’s not point in “kill or be killed” when there’s no one around to fight you. He’ll talk to you, sure, but because you’re another entertaining attraction. Your SOUL would be great, but what’s the point if the others are almost completely inaccessible, now? 

Perhaps he’ll tell you the tale of the genocidal killing spree he witnessed for fun. 

2. (This ending applies to ones with and without a Sans fight, with or without total monster destruction.) Not to add another angst story featuring the Sans man, bUT... Sans does not die. You get past him, you take out Asgore, you win the game, whatever. You get to move on.

And Sans was wrong. Nothing resets. He thought he was right, he was so positive, but here he is. And there are so many people who are dead. It must be hard to deal with, when he hardly has anyone to blame it on. He can’t even curse the murderer to his face. So imagine what it must be like to watch another monster kill so many of its own kind, only to have a human fall after that. The creature that banished them all underground is now here to either finish them off or send them to the Surface, but I doubt anyone thinks it’s the latter. The angel has returned to free them all.

I accidentally made a super metal and symbolic image to go with this, I will post it separately because, holy cow, did not expect it to turn out like this. 

Frisk has to face the most scared, enraged, and depressed monsters they could ever have encountered. Some of them will attack as viciously as they can. Others will beg for mercy, or run as quickly as possible. More will just wait, confused and perhaps upset if they are spared. There will be some who are simply NPCs, as per usual, but they will be very different. There will be fewer. Frisk’s mission to save monsters and encourage their character development will be vastly different and very difficult. 

I... made the mistake of waiting over 24 hours to type out the second half of this and lost some of the steam I started with, but I’m also bad at simply describing how bleak and depressing it would be without getting too much into it. So!!! To conclude, a semi-realistic Dead Cells/Undertale crossover would be extremely sad and depressing, since it’s basically coming in on the aftermath of almost-genocide. I will definitely accept further questions and, possibly, requests regarding this post, especially since you actually read through the entire thing and endured through everything in this post even after my enthusiasm died down in my writing. Sorry to disappoint after hyping up The Aftermath, but I was writing that at midnight and probably lost some of my good points. Definitely had a better version in my head. 

I also super ignored almost everything involving Flowey for Mr. Prisoner Sir because uhhh I didn’t want to write around that too much, so please don’t call me out on it because I definitely am aware of it and only have weak justifications for doing so. And, since we’re both here, 

UnderCells - a little catchy, I like it, but it sounds like the main story itself would be focusing on Dead Cellsman going through the Underground. While it would, to an extent, ignoring Frisk’s presence would simply make it a new level and brief one shot thing for the man. I really like the sound of it, though. 

DeadTale - far more appropriate for Frisk’s leg of the journey (as well as all of monsterkind), kinda funny in a sick sort of way, definitely used somewhere else. 

It doesn’t matter if you use either of these terms, I thought I’d address it since it’s already a super long post :’D

You made it to the end!!! Congratulations!!! 

#this is a BUTTS long post and I’m posting at a bad time again #so I expect very little attention from it #esp since dead cells doesn’t seem to be a crazy popular game #but I wrote and golly I’m going to share it with you #as per usual: my weird thing about providing a ridiculous amount of context is based on point deductions in brit lit #so Shannon if you’re reading this - you’re a nerd and you ruined my fun time essays to also be taken seriously #gosh how do I even tag this #undercells #that tag doesn’t seem taken? but call it whatever #I just want to refer to it in the future #which I hope I won’t have to but... yeah #imma stop rambling in the tags now #this is just afterthought mess from writing so much and I think I should continue lol #nervous before posting I guess #singing robopinions

[belades]

My dream last night!

I was at a highway rest stop or something and they had some kind of game kiosk like you'll often see.  It had either Sonic Riders or a similar racing game (I'm pretty sure the characters were on foot, but it WASN'T Sonic R), and it was paused in the middle of a race.  The playable character was a clearly glitched combination of Sonic and Storm, looking like Sonic, but with "storm's" gloves and tailfeathers (the tailfeathers looked more like a turkey's, but they were still "storm's" in the dream, the same way Wave the Swallow had a jeweled beaked luchador mask and jeweled clawed hands).   I believe the glitched character was called "Senor the Albatross", although it might have been "Sonor" or "Sinor", as the name appeared to mix up the letters from their two names .  I finished the race, and the character was clearly being used in that glitched state to make a character that was way faster than normal and could plow through multiple obstacles without slowing down. After the race, I decided to try to learn speedrunning some Sonic Adventure games as tails (I don't know why, because I have no interest in doing speedrunning).  A guy came in and asked me if I was speedrunning and I was like "yup", just as I was going up a ramp at high speed, hit a dash panel on it, and proceeded to fly through the panel, through the ramp, into the void, and die.  The guy said it looks like I must have messed up an input, to which I replied no, collision in 3D Sonic games is just Like That.  As if to prove my point, when I respawned and was dropped back onto the stage, I immediately fell right through the level, to my death.  "See what I mean?"   The game then somehow ended up paused back in the racing game, and I proceeded to talk about how cool Wave looked with her luchador mask and clawed hands. Afterwards, I played some more Sonic, and then tried to see how to reproduce the Senor The Albatross glitch, as I'd never seen it until then, and it looked like it could probably be used in speedrunning and blow people's minds.  I looked it up online, and it turned out to be a known glitch, so I tried it again myself and was able to reproduce it.  At this point my dad came in and said we should probably get going soon.  Then, a guy came out of what I'm pretty sure was the restroom or a changing room, and handed me a plastic grocery bag and started wiping his hands.  The bag was nearly empty but felt like it had some warm liquid in the bottom.  I asked him "Is this piss?" to which he just smiled and asked me to give it to a nearby woman.

Of course, I replied that

To which my dad asked me why not, and I woke up before I could give the whole LIST of reasons why I wasn't going to do that.

#Dreams #dream journal #NOT putting this under a readmore because if I had to go through that in the dream itself you need to get a clear image of that bullshit #Sonic the Hedgehog

[tuxedobowser25]

Finished Master Quest on The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D! It was fun to finally play through the remixed dungeons I wanted to play since I first saw that pre-order disc for the original Wind Waker.

Deku Tree: was a game of caution, because of double damage, three quick hits in succession and its game over. i love the added attempts to burn up your deku sheild.

Dodongo’s Cavern: has you do the first half of the dungeon in reverse, going up then down to reach the Bomb treasure chest that young Link is just barely too short to reach, there’s a clever trap room that tries to convince you to get the deku shield out with some fire keese just out of your initial view. There’s also a lot of graves added giving it a creepy abandoned mine feel.

Jabu Jabu’s Belly: Mooooooooo. There’s a whole lotta cows added. The mooooos add to the background. They don’t seem to mind they’re.....attached to the walls, or used as slingshot switches.....one is even chilling in some digestive acid. You can even still get milk from them via Epona’s Song for an extra wtf. Also Jump Scare Like Likes, and you only really need Princess Ruto once or twice

Fire Temple: Iron Knuckles get introduced in Master Quest here when if you haven’t picked up any pieces of hearts besides boss heart containers you can get 1 shot by them since they do eight(!) hearts of damage. 

Some bow puzzles could be solved in MQ by using Din’s fire to light torches then just roll really fast within the range of the next torch. Unfortunately there is a bow puzzle that does require the bow later on but because the dungeon now gives you the boss key and hammer super early I just used the bomb jump boost glitch to reach the door after attempting it only seeing it used in speedruns before lol

Ice Cavern: You’ll get attacked by sudden boulders a lot The White Wolfos has been downgraded to a regular enemy replaced with a lone staflos. Crystal switches hiding with the ice, or underneath the ice is clever. Though on a N64 or 3DS resolution one of them is like a few pixels visible under the floor lol

Forest Temple: A Stalfos here, a staflos there, you know it didn’t feel too different yet at the same time it did. There was that floating path of song of time blocks that was new tho. The actual courtyard sections are locked initially and are explored later on.

Water Temple: Ironically easier (reverse psychology!) lol You get the dungeon map, compass, and even the longshot almost right away, and I managed to clear the dungeon with entire sections of it unexplored. A lizaflos attacked me underwater where I couldn’t attack it. Also the dungeon designers were probably like, “You get a staflos, they get a staflos, EVERYONE GETS A STAFLOS!” (drops three staflos in a room against you)

Beneath the Well: Most of the invisible things are oddly removed, Dead Hand is reduced to guarding the compass. Only one small key is needed to get to a necessary room but if you guess the wrong door you’ll have to find a different one. The Boss Key is surrounded by Redeads on a floor with a wallmaster, make sure to take out the wallmaster before you get to the chest or else you can get stunlocked by 4/5 redeads then grabbed by the wallmaster sometimes with a redead still eating your brains out. Note: Redeads can stun you if you try to use Din’s Fire and can hurt you, you are not safe once you touch the item button lol

Gerudo’s Training Ground: There are exactly three keys now, its moreso a game of figuring out where the Ice Arrow chest is when it spawns, the lava room with silver rupees is now real annoying because the pillars light back up on fire quickly sending Link falling into the lava. There is a chest where you get a green rupee and the game uses the text from the Market Minigame calling you a loser lol

Spirit Temple: Getting a key as an Adult in the first visit then using it a kid is a nice concept, but the reverse later on feels like padding since it forces you to time travel an additional time just to quickly grab a key in an already visited room. Using the Song of the time with quick timing is a unique idea for a puzzle. There are two really cool unique puzzle rooms where you have to use an Iron Knuckle’s ax to break some thrones, and a dungeon room with a Moblin finally not in the forest meadow maze where you have to sing the various regular ocarina songs but unfortunately they’re completely optional, only for gold skullwalltulas which feels like wasted potential.

Shadow Temple: This is probably the least changed dungeon, there are some areas that feel easier actually, the floormasters in the invisible wall maze replaced with blue skulls talk about a nerf, fighting a Dead Hand using Deku Flowers is really unique and ....also completely optional and wasted potential bleh.

Ganon’s Castle: The castle throws you an iron knuckle immediately. The gauntlets switched trial locations,small keys found in one trial have to be used to unlock doors in others, and here they finally use that manipulate an iron knuckle to destroy some blocks for you thing that was optional in Spirit Temple. Ganon’s Tower sadly isn’t changed any besides enemies doing double damage but it was fun to use my bomb strat against two iron knuckles at once.

#ocarina of time #the legend of zelda #master quest

[ignaciusgray-blog]

The bizarre and rather extreme global of Wii sports activities speedrunners

The Wii is Nintendo’s most popular domestic console, promoting upwards of a hundred million gadgets since its release in 2006. of these hundreds of thousands of consoles, eighty two million came ready with one precise recreation: Wii sports. Wii sports activities and the complementary Wii match functioned as a riposte against the generational stigma connected to video games, in large part dismantling the concept that video video games have been solely tied to a younger demographic. The Wii has even end up a treasured asset in nursing homes, where elderly human beings can hit domestic runs in baseball, score moves in bowling, and, sink holes-in-one inside the hugely popular Wii sports golfing. Click here

Wii sports activities is usually remembered as a fun-orientated recreation, something light to play with friends and own family. That’s why it’s unusual to remember the bizarre speedrunning scene connected to Wii sports activities golfing in which gamers compete to finish a spherical as quickly as feasible the usage of a ramification of different techniques. on this category, gamers who go by using the handles Dannyh09 and Alaskaxp2 hold world statistics for first and 2d place, respectively.

“I began to speedrun ‘golfing 9 hollow’ in Wii sports so I may want to practice unique matters for my ‘All sports activities’ runs,” Alaska, a 15-year-vintage from North Carolina, tells me. All sports is every other class within the Wii sports activities speedrunning scene in which runners try to finish every sport inside the Wii sports activities oeuvre as quickly as feasible. but, Alaska quickly found out that the arena report at the time become beatable. of their phrases, it wasn’t “optimized,” that means that it didn’t represent a really perfect run with zero errors. since then, the file has been exceeded by way of nearly a whole minute.

“I grinded out a pair hundred attempts and beat it with the aid of less than a second on August 19th,” Alaska says. however, after numerous months as top dog, Alaska lost their spot to a brand new child on the block. “A top first-rate Mario Maker writer named DannyH09 came into the community and located his recreation actually speedy,” they say. “That’s once I started to get concerned, and the community commenced to center round nine hollow, making for numerous new runners and a variety of method improvement.”

“Wii sports is the sport I first played on the Nintendo Wii as it got here with it,” says contemporary global document holder Danny, a 21-12 months-old from England. Danny continually loved Wii sports golf the most, owning an adroitness for the game due to the fact he changed into nine years antique. He revisited it in 2018 out of nostalgia and without delay realized that he should storm through nine hollow fast and accurately, in spite of most effective playing for a laugh.

“After timing a nine hollow run at 5:20, i discovered that the arena document became 5:18 on speedrun.com,” Danny says. “i discovered the Wii collection speedrunning Discord server and met a bunch of other humans speedrunning golfing. I controlled to achieve world records inside the 9 hole golfing and three hole golf classes which nonetheless continue to be unbeaten.” Danny’s modern-day time sits at 4:36:70, roughly forty three.three seconds quicker than the report Alaska at first set out to conquer in August 2018. along this, Danny also has global statistics in 18 hole golfing and “a bunch of the three hole categories.”

“returned whilst i used to be without a doubt speedrunning in 2018, there had been 5 or six energetic runners who have been all pretty tons similarly skilled,” Alaska says. This surge in popularity befell after Alaska broke a record that went unbeaten for several months. as soon as humans found out the scene turned into on the upward push once more, Wii sports golfing have become extra popular than ever. but, Danny’s data don’t seem like they’ll be overwhelmed every time quickly. “golfing isn’t as aggressive as it was now the arena statistics are optimized,” Danny explains. in keeping with Alaska, only one man or woman has a non-public fine within 20 seconds of Danny’s four:36. As a result, 9 hole — originally the maximum competitive Wii sports activities golf run — is essentially dead. That’s now not to say the whole scene is lifeless. although Danny started out with Wii sports activities golfing, he has seeing that become invested inside the wider Wii sports scene. “[Golf] is really hard but the All sports class is the most hard,” he notes, citing that baseball is especially difficult. “i've tried All sports activities ‘No Baseball,’ which is a famous class within the network.” however, according to Danny, All sports activities right has emerge as the maximum prestigious run in the community in latest years.

The reality stays that these runners resurrected a useless and weird speedrunning category as a way to shave almost an entire minute off the arena report over a extraordinarily brief period of time. As a community, these runners devised and perfected strategies for skipping animations, rushing up photographs, and all kinds of different techniques designed for the sole cause of saving time. “In golfing, we do a no-backswing force to begin each hollow,” Danny says. “i use no backswing on each shot, even putting.” so as to tug this off, you want to press and keep A and immediately swing the controller forward, which makes for a much quicker shot.

in the meantime, consistent with Alaska, a technique referred to as the “motive force flag shot” is the whole purpose why the world file ever dropped beneath 5 minutes. “It saves four to seven seconds on any hollow and includes the usage of a driving force and smacking it into a flag so that the ball rolls off and drops into the hole,” they say. “every other thing is using non-recommended clubs with a purpose to make photographs jump much less.” a few runners even purposely forfeit on the eighth hollow for you to take away the luck issue worried in potentially scoring a birdie. “This charges approximately three to 4 seconds from an awesome birdie however saves four to six [seconds] if the birdie’s neglected for a par.” Danny uses the driving force flag shot, too, in particular bringing up that it saves a big quantity of time if used from the bunker on the second hole. “Judgment is fundamental in placing,” he adds. “understanding how a long way left or proper to purpose relying on how the inexperienced slopes appears to come back certainly to myself and different speedrunners of this category.” together with being weird and extremely good, the Wii sports golf scene is extensive and wild. The sequel, Wii sports activities inn, operates in step with completely exceptional strategies. “Wii sports activities hotel golf is absolutely unique due to the fact we play to not chip-in or land too near the hole,” Danny says. “This triggers a replay and we lose a ton of time — the use of backspin is fundamental with north winds to land on the green and get the ball to stop rolling and keep a few seconds.”

It’s bizarre to bear in mind how Wii sports golfing speedrunning got here into play. Runners from all around the global regularly converted this circle of relatives-friendly recreation right into a fairly severe aggressive scene, to the extent that they exhausted it nearly as fast as they introduced it into being. some groups persist for years earlier than a international record is about in stone, or even nonetheless, they may be reinvigorated with the launch of a brand new patch or the rise of a new player.

Wii sports activities golf is now a weird relic of the past, immortalized on speedrun.com as a testomony to the network that brought it back from the useless and championed it as a honestly competitive speedrunning scene.

https://hackofgame.com/

[operationrainfall]

Title A Robot Named Fight Developer Matt Bitner Games Publisher Matt Bitner Games Release Date September 7th, 2017 Genre Metroidvania Platform Steam Age Rating N/A Official Website

One of my favorite genres of all time is the Metroidvania. Like many gamers, it all started with Super Metroid, but my passion was also reinforced by the glorious period of time where Castlevania started to adopt that style, all beginning with the incredible Symphony of the Night. As a result of my fandom, I do a lot of research into upcoming Metroidvanias, and do my best to follow their progress. So it was to my utter surprise that one came out of nowhere and slapped me across the face, demanding my attention. It wasn’t just a Metroidvania, it was a procedurally generated one with roguelike aspects. That game is called A Robot Named Fight.

Drawn, programmed and created by the one man team of Matt Bitner (with some assistance from his lovely wife), A Robot Named Fight is a tribute to many games he loved from the good old days of the SNES. That inspiration shows in how it borrows the winning aspects of many games, such as Super Metroid and Contra. At first glance it would be easy to make the erroneous claim that the game is just wilfully copying those games, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You need to appreciate that Matt spent the time to teach himself many aspects of game creation while making A Robot Named Fight, and while you’ll be familiar with some parts of the game, it was more of a delightful mash up of recognizable features than theft. After playing the game for six hours, I can say with confidence that it more than stands up on the merits of its own ideas, and you’ll quickly look past those features which may remind you of older games.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the meat of the game. The basic premise is that robots have become the dominant members of society and have heralded in a age of prosperity. Enter the hideous Megabeast, a cancerous collection of mutant horrors, which it literally rains upon the land in endless horrifying combinations. Robot society is devastated by this assault, not least of all because the legions of the Megabeast are capable of infesting and controlling some robots. Enter our hero, a nameless plucky robot determined to slay the Megabeast, and in so doing earn the distinction of being named Fight. It’s a little silly and very 90s, but the plot provided just enough motivation to get drawn into the game. Like any Metroidvania, the whole point is the action and exploration, and A Robot Named Fight doesn’t disappoint.

A great part of exploration is finding odd graffiti which gives hints to the lore behind the game.

I said earlier that the game is procedurally generated, and that’s very true, but with some provisos. Though the layout and weapons you find on a given run are totally random, the basic order in which you proceed is not. You always start at the same opening stage, working your way to the Caves, then the Factory, down into the Buried City, and then back to the beginning to finish things. That probably sounds like a short jaunt, and while that’s true, the game has ways to keep things going. Every level you discover and every boss you first defeat unlocks new content, from weapons and upgrades you can find on subsequent runs to save stations you can use. In essence, the farther you get, the more the game world expands and becomes more complex. If you find a dark room, you’ll need to find a Bright Shell to illuminate it. Can’t proceed through a narrow tunnel? Find a Arachnomorph transformation! While you can beat the game in less than an hour, it will take time to get powerful enough to successfully do so. I spent a good 3 hours trying and dying again and again until I had unlocked enough upgrades and gotten the perfect weapon and skill setup (Infinijump, Flamethrower, Buzzsaw and Tri Orb) to take on and beat the filthy Megabeast, and managed to do so in just over 51 minutes. So it’s both a game with good amounts of exploration and combat as well as a game that can be speedrun for fun.

Nothing wakes you up like the smell of roasted Megabeast in the morning!

The procedural generation has good and bad aspects. The good is that you’ll be given different upgrades at different points in the game. One run I got a flamethrower that could unlock flesh covered doors as well as do burn damage on foes; another time I got a slide move that took me under tight tunnels, and yet another I got an electrical blast that could shoot through walls to trigger switches. I loved this variety, as the same basic goals can be accomplished a million different ways, and that makes each run an unpredictable delight. The bad is that sometimes it seemed that I was locked out of progressing forward. Multiple times I came to a room where the way forward was blocked by a huge pillar, and since I had no upgrades at that early point, I couldn’t go farther. I forcibly restarted several times until I had the bright idea that maybe there was a hidden passage. Sure enough, by shooting at the ceiling I revealed a way forward, a technique that has worked ever since. This was to the game’s credit, as the way it unveils the stages teaches players what to expect and how to think critically. Like in Super Metroid, there are lots of locked doors and hidden paths, and diligence and patience will always reward you with a way forward. While I did occasionally find that the game would create rooms where entering would immediately put me right next to an enemy, instantly inflicting damage and even killing me one time, this was the exception and not the norm. Overall the procedural generation is well implemented and keeps things fresh. Combined with the intuitive controls found when paired with an XBox 360 controller, the game proceeds at a brisk pace.

The more you unlock, the better your chances for success.

Fight On! ->

It wouldn’t be a true Metroidvania without hulking and beastly bosses, and A Robot Named Fight mostly doesn’t disappoint. While each of the bosses is well animated, freaky and challenging, some are much easier than others. That might not sound like an issue, and it mostly isn’t, but given the random nature of the game, you might encounter wild difficulty spikes unexpectedly. For example, you might fight a boss such as Sluggard, a slow moving boss that does little to threaten you, and then move onto a much more difficult boss next, such as Wall Creep. Most boss fights are one note, as they only have a single phase, and typically revolve around rushing them with a torrent of gun blasts, avoiding their attacks and then rushing them again. There are a few bosses which are much more of a challenge, such as the sinister Metal Patriarch or the Megabeast itself, but it’s hard to know what to expect whenever you enter a boss chamber. To be fair, most of the bosses are fair for what your current weapon setup turns out to be, just don’t expect the game to always play gentle.

One way to even the odds in your favor is to use scrap and artifacts you have collected to buy upgrades and new weapons from robot shopkeeps scattered about the game. They only have a couple different things on sale at a time, and there’s no way of knowing exactly what you’re getting. At first I was ready to complain about this, until I realized another well known roguelike, The Binding of Isaac, basically does the same thing in the shop, and only experience used in subsequent playthroughs will tell players what to expect from items. While I do wish A Robot Named Fight was a bit clearer, you can usually get an idea what items do from visual cues you’ll find on the selection screen. I will say that if you ever see an icon that looks like a green buzzsaw, buy it. That weapon is utterly devastating, as it can slice through hordes of foes with ease. My only other minor complaint with regard to the shopkeeps is that I wish the scrap and artifacts needed to buy things were held between games instead of lost when you die.

Visually, the game is quite pleasing and features robust enemy variety, as well as colorful attack animations. The monsters you face are all delightfully horrifying, striking me as some dark mix of Aliens, Contra and even Dementium. None of the foes you face look remotely normal, and the vast panoply of horrors gave the game a unique flavor not usually seen in Metroidvanias. There’s also plenty of gore, as defeating enemies generally paints the walls with their gore and guts. The synth music is catchy, and reminds me fondly of Mega Man X, and I loved the ominous sounds found outside a boss room, but the basic sound effects can get grating. The standard shot is very loud and some enemies screech every time they move. When you hear the same foe screeching every other second as it bounces against the far end of a room and then rebounds, it can get a bit annoying.

Those egg sacks will always release lovely monsters when you burst them. How fun!

While I don’t have any major complaints against the game, there were a couple of minor issues that nagged me. For one thing, I’m not sure if there are only four main areas in the game, or if I can unlock more eventually. Though the variety present isn’t lacking, I always love getting lost in sprawling Metroidvanias. I also desperately wanted a bestiary. From following the game on Twitter, I see that many of the bosses have great names, like the aforementioned Sluggard and Metal Patriarch, yet the game doesn’t clarify which is which. Yes, upon beating a boss you get the achievement for doing so and their name, but the accompanying picture is of the weapon you unlock, not the beast that you beat to unlock it. I would love being able to pause the game, bring up a picture of all the bosses I beat and some flavor text to round things out. I think doing so would provide the game with a longer legacy, as it’s much easier to remember monsters with memorable names, such as Ridley, as opposed to monsters whose name you’re uncertain of.

This room caused me to restart repeatedly until I found the hidden passage.

Overall, I was quite impressed with A Robot Named Fight. It provided a healthy challenge, tons of unexpected variety and just enough exploration to satisfy fans of the genre. It’s clear to me that Matt truly understands the factors that make this genre great, and did his level best to include all of them in this, his very first game. While the base journey is pretty short, the various achievements and the need to find everything keeps me playing. I would venture that even Sundered, another fantastic Metroidvania with random generation, isn’t quite so adept at procedural generation as this one. For only $9.99 (or 25% cheaper for the next few days) this game is one any Metroidvania fan should own. I can only hope that it does well in sales, since I’d love to see it make its way to other consoles, as well as maybe getting some DLC. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and beat the Megabeast for the third time and finish getting 100% of those achievements!

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

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REVIEW: A Robot Named Fight Title A Robot Named Fight

#A Robot Named Fight #Matt Bitner #Megabeast #Metroidvania #Novy PR #robot #Roguelike