#i hope this made sense lmao

[xo-cod]

Hiring!♡ I'm not sure if you're still doing requests, but I can't get this thought out of my head. I had just binged all of your stories, and I wondered how TF141 would react to former bau!reader adding them to their pinboard or having a group pic of them framed by her computer set-up, because you said that they would probably be jealous of her 'other life'.

Thank you😙

you can request whatever you'd like :) and this is so cute <3

it would be a heavily appreciated sentiment for sure to even be considered part of your life, it's such a small thing but it means so much. like if one day they casually just saw it, they'd all be shocked and a little confused before their hearts would warm immensely

it's the most typical picture that represents each of them perfectly. price with his half amused smile, holding his gun on his hip while his other arm leans on gaz's shoulder. and gaz paired with johnny just laughing with simon placed in the middle against his will. his arms crossed against his chest and to others he looked utterly unimpressed but there's a hidden smile under his balaclava, you can see his dark brown eyes sparkling just the slightest

so while you had a whole life before them, they were part of your life now and that was all that mattered to them <3 you were always part of the team but it was acknowledged now that you had that picture and the bonds only grow that much closer with each of them

soap and gaz def pin more selfies with you around your laptop, it's so cute <3

#asks #i hope this made sense LMAO #task force 141 #simon riley #john soap mactavish #john price #kyle gaz garrick

[totentnz]

V, #14 😈

Dark OC Asks

14. What is your OC's "villain song"?

now there is at least two answers for this, i have many many thoughts on the topics and i hope i can get em all out lmao

IM BETTER

i LOVE a good joker arc, some defining moment in a characters life that just breaks or changes them in some way, this doesn't fully happen for v but she stands on the precipice plenty of times.

namely the vdb debacle and when she gains control of the blackwall via songbird. (there might be more but it's been a minute since i properly played)

now what do these two instances have in common? netrunning/ hacking. this song (and others like it) always get me thinking about v getting lost in the power she holds with her quickhacks.

a cyberdeck wasn't even her first choice, she wanted berserk in combination with gorilla arms but viktor refuses to install them for her. she could go to a different ripper to get them obviously but he's the only doc she trusts and who won't rat her out to the authorities for having cracked soft. (this explanation is a bit underbaked i will admit) she also knows he's lowkey right, she cannot be trusted with that kind of chrome.

now one could argue that being able to kill people via command does more damage than a pissed off ape but maybe she can control herself better than vik gives her credit for. or maybe he's not too familiar with netrunning/ hacking.

there is also the aspect of v knowing exactly what happens when she uses a hack, she wrote the code herself. (i'm not saying she invented them but they are her own versions, either written from scratch or modified some way)

my favourite example for this is the suicide quickhack: v takes control of the target for a few moments, she has to raise the gun, she has to pull the trigger, she has to leave the person's consciousness before they die but not too early or they will flinch away at the last moment. she doesn't die if she stays too long but the repercussions can be dire anyway: she passes out, there is psychological damage etc. if the target is right and she executes it well it can be pretty fun though, sort of like playing russian roulette but without dying.

but to get back on topic: i LOVE the mental image of her just standing in the middle of a bunch of enemies, activating overclock to wreak havoc on them AND herself.

i also enjoy copy-paste - she makes herself an easy target for another runner just to pull this out of her sleeve and fuck them over so much more, she simply IS better.

this mindset is also reflected in her aversion to chrome, she doesn't need it or rather she doesn't want it. she is better than them, she is built different. now that is simply not true, she can tell herself that lie as often as she likes but she needs cyberware to keep up. (i actually have a background story for this, maybe i will even write it one day)

so she slowly begins to betray herself: she replaces her glass eye with kiroshis, she installs extra ram, she gets the reinforced tendons. these changes come slowly and her body is still mostly ganic by the end of the game but in quiet moments she hates herself for caving in and for enjoying it.

ultimately: power corrupts, nobody is immune to that.

EAT THE CHILDREN

any otep song tbh, since it's the band i chose to use for rotten (her band) and v turns into the worst version of herself when she's on stage. it's one of the reasons she decided to end the band in the first place, though everyone involved just thinks she was being asshole (they ain't wrong)

her whole band era was a double edged sword, on one hand she finally had a voice and was adored by some but at the same time she had never been more miserable. their songs are filled with her traumas and that puts her back into a powerless position, add the adrenaline of being on stage and you get a truly volatile concoction.

#sammy says shit #thank u bestie :3c #oc:v #i hope this made sense lmao #also im giving myself a tap on the shoulder for not talking about johnny :] #obviously he plays a part in this but.... this felt better #also also i dont think i got all of the thoughts out but i didnt want to stray too far

[transprincecaspian]

hi i saw the words reaver!mahanon and blacked out, i would love to hear you talk about that if you want to

😈 hi.

So Reaver!Mahanon is an intentional choice by me to help tie into his themes of blood and the ritual consumption thereof. There’s these themes where Mahanon is concerned where, it’s like… “oh I’ve consumed this cup at the joining and now my blood is tainted? It always was” in regards to a lot of misogyny regarding menstrual blood and how it’s considered taboo just as the Joining is and there’s this gendering that he does to the darkspawn and—

Anyways 😌 so when he’s given the offer to drink dragon blood and defile the urn to give himself another edge against the Archdemon, he does it. (This is another point of Mahanon’s death to himself; the loss of faith. He doesn’t necessarily consider him a true Andrastian past this point). It’s also important to note that he also drinks the blood potion from the Warden’s Keep… which unlocks another layer to his talents with tainted blood.

It’s ironic because he’s so wary of blood mages, where he’s kind of doing something similar in using the taint of his blood to ward against his foes. He’s not bloodthirsty but he’s letting his own blood to give himself an edge in battle and causing significantly more harm to others. He’s so insane for it TBH.

There’s this whole question in origins where someone asks your warden what it feels like to come into contact with darkspawn blood and Mahanon describes it like a burning. So in my canon and in my fic, Mahanon’s blood is always this burning in his veins. It ties into the idea of the dragon cult later on—he’s drank dragon blood, of course it’s going to burn. It’s tainted it’s going to burn. It’s holy (subvert the condemnation of femininity) it’s going to burn.

He’s willing to coat his own weapons in it, he’s willing to let his own blood to burn others, he’s willing to spill it and go into a crazed battle-rage while greatly subtracting from his own health—

He gets to this point when he goes to battle the Archdemon, with all of these decisions weighing on him and his burning blood singing in his veins, and he looks at Urthemiel and it’s this moment of… “you and I are made of the same filth”.

#THIS WAS SO DISORGANIZED #I hope this made sense lmao #I was all over the place with it #I really was just rambling #but yeah that’s the reaver!Mahanon lore #text post #dragon age #dragon age origins #mahanon tabris

[tianhai03]

how would you rank dante outfits in terms of sluttiness?

4 is at the top. I know everyone has their own preferences on which Dante design is the best but I think we can all agree 4 is by far the sluttiest outfit he's had. The chaps alone would win against every other outfit

Then it's probably... 3, 1, 2 then 5

#3 bc hes literally shirtless and also the bra strap #1 bc of the turtleneck and also the little amount of wrist shown between his gloves and sleeves of the turtleneck #2 is slightly sluttier than 5 for the collarbone window #5 literally has a polo shirt #if i HAD to include donte here he'd be slightly above 5 #bc he has a sleeveless shirt and also he does the thing where his jacket falls off his shoulders and hangs on his elbows #i hope this made sense LMAO #allyanswers #anonymous #ask #i forgot to mention 1 and 2's thigh belts. those are also very slutty parts of their outfits

[sapphire-weapon]

I’m just gonna say that I think ur being a wee bit too harsh on remake 2 Leon with saying everything is his fault because a lot of it is timing and no one would know what to do in that moment.

With the gas station dude, the only thing Leon does wrong is distract the dude by calling out to him, the zombie is on top of the guy in a second after that and biting a chunk of flesh off of him— I think anyone would be frozen in shock in that moment.

Also with Ben, Leon has no idea if Ben is a criminal and why he’s even locked up in the first place— they only hear Mr. X for a moment before he busts through the wall and Leon can’t shoot without shooting Ben in the face too, you see Leon try to aim the gun or find another point to shoot but it’s too late by that point. Also Leon has no idea about Mr. X at this point and arguably, Ben has clearly been safer in his jail cell so far, so of course Leon hesitates to let someone who could potential be a dangerous criminal out on top of everything going on. I’m pretty sure him saying ‘I’ll have to ask chief irons’ was before they heard anything and the guy was just asking to be let out — also Im pretty sure it is him covering himself to get more time to figure out what to do with Ben or get my information of why Ben is in there in the first place. He’s in jail, someone who is a trained cop is gonna hesitate before opening up his cell.

Also another thing I just wanted add that Leon doesn’t trust Ada, it’s what he says to her at the end ‘I realized as much as I wanted to trust you I didn’t’ so obviously he regonize she was shady but what else was he going to do in that situation besides take her at her word, after the fact she showed him her badge and has knowledge about the situation. how is he gonna guess that she’s a super secret mercenary that’s using him to steal this secret virus to sell

While I get what you are trying to say, I don’t think saying he’s a complete idiot makes much sense when it’s just how, a normal person would react to things. In fact I think he did a bit better considering the circumstances. Just my two sense tho, def not attacking u or anything, just noticed ur post in the tag and wanted to add my perspective to it since I’ve been like, religiously playing that game rn 😭.

But homie, what you're saying is exactly my point.

Leon was the everyman in RE2. He didn't have military experience like Chris and Jill -- and he wasn't raised a Redfield like Claire -- so he was never taught how to handle a legitimate combat situation. So, he did, for the most part, what a normal person would do in that situation. And that was the problem. It wasn't a normal situation, so reacting like a normal person ended with people dying.

Well. Actually no he doesn't get a pass on Ada, even still. Even if he didnt trust her completely, that bitch was in a tight dress and stilettos and Leon still looked at her and was like "yeah I mean I guess it could be possible that she's FBI." Like. No, dumbass. Stop thinking with your dick. You're not in a noir film.

The journey through Leon's character development was that he had to step outside of his normal bubble and into the actual literal nightmare that Raccoon City really was. He does eventually learn that lesson, but unfortunately, it's one that he learns too late. By the time he gets there, there's already a bodycount.

So in RE4make, he can't be that everyman anymore if his mission has any chance of succeeding. He has to be more than the everyman. He can't hesitate, he can't hope that things will work out okay. He has to own every single one of his decisions, the chances he takes have to be calculated, and he can't fall into the same well-meaning traps.

Leon can't be held to "normal people" standards. To do so erases the progression of his character arc. And he doesn't hold himself to those standards, either. He has to be better, because if he isn't, people will die. That was the lesson he had to learn.

When I criticize Leon for his flaws, I'm not hating on him or trying to be mean. His flaws create the conflict that fuels his story -- and that's what makes him a good character.

Within the context of the story itself, what would normally be seen as virtuous qualities in a person are actually the problem. And that's what makes him so sympathetic and compelling. You want to root for him because he's trying so hard to do the right thing, but him doing the right thing is what gets people killed.

I love him for that.

#i hope this made sense lmao #i answered this on my break at work so #it might be wonky #gomen

[yourlocalquoi]

Tic ask game, 5 and 6?

5. What is your least favorite tic?

I'd have to say that my least favorite is my shoulder tensing tic. (I know that sounds weird but it's when my brain decides that, hey, what if you just tensed up your *whole* shoulder for anywhere between a couple seconds and a couple minutes?) It sucks, it really does (and it's v e r y painful)

6. How long did it take you to love your tics (or are you still getting there)?

Well I can tell you that I certainly didn't really understand or like them at first (I was diagnosed when I was like, 11 or 12). I think it took until like, a year or two ago to actually love them (and I think I do fully love them now! It just took a lot of unlearning my internalized ableism to do so)

#i hope this made sense lmao #it is late but i tried my best #actually tourettic #tourettes

[themself]

i very strongly reject the idea that there's a clear cut binary between people who are and are not neurodiverse, have or do not have ADHD, autism and anything of the like

i understand the urge for neurodivergent people to fight against "well we're all a little ADHD so you can't really be disabled and should be able to do XYZ " but like, there is diversity in how neurodivergent and neurotypical behave, so the differences between us are actually quite fluid

further, you will never truly know somebody else's struggles. like, maybe that person telling you that everybody has ADHD actually does struggle quite a lot with paying attention to things, but has been taught to push past it (possibly to their own detriment). that does not make their response acceptable, but it also does not mean they have not had to struggle due to how their brain works

anyway, i want people to consider instead that perhaps society has been structured in such a way that we've created an unobtainable version of what functioning looks like. much like with gender, everybody is performing what they think functioning should be, to varying degrees of success depending on how their brains work. like the ideal man or woman, the ideal form of functioning is unobtainable and we're all just performing, and basically, nobody is really winning

#i hope this made sense lmao #this isnt to say ableism against nd people isnt real ofc #just that the binary between who is and isnt disabled is a lot more fluid than ppl think!!!!

[docheros]

ok anyways so i think tae has a hard time with her womanhood. she loves women for sure but she can't really grasp that she is a woman too. like not in a trans way. she been told her whole life that girls are this and this and this and she didn't fit any of that, and the minute she cut her hair really short and started getting buffier (if that's the term?) her family kinda like. talked with her like 👁👁 are you sure This is how you want to look like. so she like. hates womanhood. loves womanhood. is trying to accept that she, even if not girly and cute, is a girl. tries not to think very hard when she sees a petite girl with a petite body. that girl is me and i'm her i'm like this

#she spent so much time thinking ''am i trans?.......'' but she doesn't feel comfortable labeling herself as a man #or nonbinary #girl is like a flawed home to her. it's very flawed for sure but it brings comfort #and at the same time not #it's complicated #i hope this made sense lmao #i'm talking!! #irisona

[koqabear]

I M BACK I finished. that honestly took me a little longer than i had hoped/was expecting but then again i was going back and forth between safari to send asks and my notes app to keep track of who i thought was the killer like oyd all over again, and all i can really deduct from both experiences is that i would be an absolute shit detective and the world is so lucky i'm majoring in psych instead of crim! aside from that, it's time for my *cracks knuckles* review, so spoiler warning!

the ending is so silly (in a good way of course) and had he not been a literal mass murderer, i would have said that was something he would 100% do. aside from that, i find it really satisfying...? how well your fics flow and i think wanna play a game? really emphasized how good you are at that because its just ?!2?: i dont even know like the fic moves like water that's the only way i can think of describing the smoothness in between the "camera" transitions, if you know what i mean. the description of and between every movement was also really nice to see for me because usually when i catch myself doing it, it feels like i'm just adding unnecessary and boring details but i think this made me realize just how important they are to make a story feel natural and almost realistic in a way? i definitely don't think mine read as nicely though, BUT ANYWAYS. this isn't about me 😭

another thing i liked was the whole bolded italics to show when he was using the voice modulator and when he was speaking normally because as mentioned before in my oyd review, i can't stand certain things in writing and bolded italics to differentiate actions from dialogue is one of them. i don't know how or why this is becoming a recurring thing where you manage to do things i Don't like in a way that suddenly makes me like them a lot but i feel like that should be some sort of an accomplishment because i'm just so picky and you write everything perfectly 💔

i honestly thought, based on the header, that all three of them were the killers and they were actually a trio instead of a duo and to see that presumably it was just one person, was such a sick twist because i was, again, going back and forth between tumblr and my notes to figure who was where and doing what just so i could end up being completely wrong??!/? everything i thought i knew was a lie. the only thing i managed to get right was potentially taehyun injuring himself on purpose to trick everyone into thinking he was innocent when he really wasn't. i'm really interested in the sequence of events as to how the murders took place and correct me if i'm wrong but: beomgyu fell asleep so taehyun snuck away to go and take out wooyoung and ryujin in the other room by sneaking out of the house and breaking back in through the window which mc thinks is wooyoung de-escalating the situation and ryujin being upset but it's just them struggling and the settling down is when they die... and since taehyun can't just walk back into the house like normally, he goes back out the window and cuts himself on the broken glass? and maybe i'm looking too deep into this but, does beomgyu know? was there a reason why he said mc would be safer with soobin than with him and taehyun and why they end up being the only ones separated from the group? (also why does no one check to see if someone was actually coming?!1?) i kind of have no clue where yeonjun getting threatened happens throughout all this, assuming he's been in on it when he says he's just trying to keep mc safe while beomgyu's being (fake...?) dragged away (still have no clue where exactly he plays a part in the plan or if he plays one at all) and taehyun somehow manages to sneak into the basement and finish off soobin and yeji (fun fact: i totally misread and understood the first read through because i assumed yeji and soobin were a thing or doing Something, so i had to reread and question where the hell i got that from before getting on track again). the part where yeonjun says "think about it," had me on my toes because i thought he was going to admit to doing That to soobin and yeji but after looking back i realized that just. wasn't possible? 😭😭

the smut was so crazy, especially the build up to it like the whole straddling and trying to feel them was an insane idea but i kinda loved every second of it until it popped into my head there was an easy chance mc was straddling dead bodies, which thankfully, she wasn't, otherwise i would have been just as horrified towards the end as i was initially, and suddenly nothing was strangely intimate or appealing about this. it was kind of relieving when it's mentioned taehyun was warm and again, towards the end when it's stated that beomjun were breathing because while taehyun was fucking mc, i was kind of curious about what the hell was going on in the chairs and even more so when he wouldn't let her look at them? taehyun was exceptionally evil i feel, with his false sob story and confession which could have easily been another lie. speaking of the sob story, seeing how hyuka was killed by his friend group and by an "overdose", does that mean yeji was going to end up like him before taehyun came into the picture...? or am i just overthinking again lol

as always, though, i really enjoyed reading this and i'm so curious about every detail that didn't make the cut <3 – ml

the way you literally have me twirling my hair and giggling rn… also that detective comment made me laugh so hard 😭 detective ml needs to retire I’m afraid (joking of course I enjoy seeing ur little findings that were surprisingly accurate)

Responses under the cut! (Includes a timeline and extras!)

(Thoughts on the ending)

-it makes me laugh because I also thought the ending was a bit jarring and… ridiculous tbh, but it just shows how fucking unhinged that man is and I giggled a bit while writing it 

(Writing style and transitions)

-this is such a compliment actually omg?? I’ve actually come to realize that this is a strength of mine after many peer reviews on my papers mentioned that, so to hear this again is actually really interesting! I honestly think it’s super important to add details to create an immersive ambience for the reader, but at the same time unnecessary details are literally the worst, and often bore me and make my head hurt. (Like, no one wants to hear about the model and wood of a damn dresser in excruciating detail.) so I find that it’s also really important to keep a balance! 

(the voice modulator and using boldled italics)

-I was actually a bit hesitant to add it in, because there’s certain things in dialogue that I find a bit unappealing, personally. But I knew that there had to be something that could distinguish when it was being used so that the reveal could work properly and click immediately with the reader 🚬 I’m glad it worked properly though and it’s even funnier that I keep managing to change your mind about such things haha

(deciding who to make the killer)

-it honestly was a thought to make it all three! I considered all the possibilities; Taehyun definitely was the killer in all of them, but I thought of it being tae and gyu, (but then I got flashbacks to take it and decided against it), then tae and jun, and even all three; but in the end I decided against it only because idk… it seemed so fitting to make tae the mastermind behind everything. 

[onto the timeline!]

(Ml anon is scarily accurate)

-beomgyu falls asleep, taehyun sneaks out through the back and goes through the window to take out wooyoung and ryujin; the sounds of the “drunken fit” is actually the struggle from the murder. (Unnecessary detail, but Tae went for Ryujin first; that’s why her cut is so clean while wooyoung got the multiple messy stab wounds— the sounds of the furniture was wooyoung and Taehyun fighting)

-Taehyun goes back to the porch and stabs himself with the knife; all to cause a scene and establish himself as a victim, not a suspect. And since Beomgyu and tae are friends, he knows that bg would be too worried to question anything.

(Does Beomgyu know?)

-no he does not!

(Why did BG insist on the mc going with Soobin?)

-It was actually Beomgyu making sure that Soobin would be safe! He felt as though it was wrong to leave someone alone, bc of course, there’s strength in numbers. He hesitated to switch with mc bc the thought of the “killer” still being nearby (which he was) made him worried that mc wouldn’t be able to protect herself and Taehyun. In the end he simply gave in bc mc was being stubborn and it wouldn’t help to argue about it. 

(Why were TaeGyu the only ones that got separated?)

-The reason why they’re the only ones separated is because Taehyun needed to get rid of someone else quickly before he got outnumbered in a closed space; he knew that the mc would put themself at risk in order to protect bg, and the last thing he needed was them to get hurt. (Also, he needed bg to use him as leverage for the mc— I’ll elaborate more in another ask haha)

(why did everyone just blindly believe Tae about someone coming…)

-I love this little question because ya, that was a big mistake. Had anyone actually checked, they would’ve been confused and would’ve just said “bro is bleeding out fr” or smth. (And Taehyun would’ve played the part and acted weak and weary haha) But since the tensions are high, they’re all much too scared to think straight; Taehyun knows this and uses mass hysteria to scare them off, knowing that they’d believe him because he’s a victim too! (also, he’s the only one who’s “seen” the killer, so that gives him credibility if he were to panic)

(when does Yeonjun get threatened again…?)

-See this is this part is a bit of a stretch but it’s alright because it’s fiction haha… we all know our poor mc is horrible with directions, and when I say the house is huge I mean it’s huge. (Like mansion that has empty dusty unused rooms huge) Taehyun had to make sure to be quick with everything— knocking Beomgyu out, dragging him out of plain sight and onto the porch, and sneaking past the mc through another bedroom window. From there, he only had to find Yeonjun to get him to go back after her— Yeonjun’s feelings for her were real (although superficial at most) so at first he really was trying to get her to safety. Unfortunately, he’s very selfish so the moment the mc injured him and ran was the moment he thought “fuck this, let her do what she wants.” 

-The threats had a bit more details than said; meaning, “stall for a bit while I finish the rest, and knock her out and bring her to me.” Yeonjun really thought he’d be spared if he got on Taehyun’s good side and did all his bidding, even if that meant betraying his own friends. 

-After threatening Yj, he went to the basement— that’s where he cornered Soobin and Yeji, aiming for Soobin first because he knew Yeji wouldn’t be able to defend herself; it’s gruesome, but he left Soobin to bleed out and Yeji to watch as he shattered her ankles. 

-Also!! Another thing that I didn’t write, but Taehyun was actually in the basement the whole time! He was just hiding while he made sure Yeonjun didn’t turn on him, and after he knocked the mc out, Taehyun pretended to be grateful to get yj’s guard down; after that, he knocked him out. 

(the buildup and reveal)

-it honestly was such a bizarre idea to have the mc do that, and I… still don’t know why I did it? (Or how I thought of it.) I think it was just a weak ploy by Tae to get the mc scared and close to him; also, to gain her trust since she didn’t know he was behind it all yet.

(What’s up with the chairs? Why won’t he let her look at them?)

-Quite honestly, nothing special— they were just beginning to stir, and Taehyun was nothing more than possessive because even while they were sharing such an “intimate” (intimate used loosely) moment, he was angry to see that she was still worrying about them. He knew of yj’s feelings towards the mc and was never really fond of how close bg was to her. 

-Here are a few things I decided to omit or simply changed my mind on: first, the mc wasn’t going to be blindfolded; she would be tied up to a chair with bg and yj, and yj would’ve woken up and made a fuss as to why he was there. “We had a deal, you fucking lied to me!” He would have been killed after by Taehyun, making this the original reveal where he actually had a scream mask on. The other idea was killing bg and yj while the mc had been blindfolded, (post killer reveal) forcing her to listen to the sounds of them being stabbed and dying, etc etc until her spirit became completely crushed. I decided against both ideas simply because I just wanted to tone things down a little teehee 

(Huening’s OD and Yeji’s fate)

-You are not overthinking at all!! I’m so glad you picked up on this, because yes! That’s pretty much why Ryujin had been so freaked out and why everyone else had taken a serious attempt to de-escalate things, because they’ve all been through it before! The whole thing with Huening was an accident— they introduced him to drugs he couldn’t handle, being irresponsible and letting him take more than he should’ve as they all laughed and poked fun of him for being so inexperienced and a wimp; when he started acting strange, no one really took it seriously, thinking that he would eventually get over it. But he didn’t, and their death was on their hands as they attempted to make it look like it was his own fault and decision, choosing to try and put it all in the past as they pretended like nothing happened. Eventually, Yeji would’ve had a pretty close call herself if she continued the way she was. 

But that’s pretty much it, and I’m really impressed with how accurate some of your findings were! (Maybe detective ml isn’t a complete lost cause) it was so much fun to read all your thoughts and reactions, thank you sooooo much for taking your time to write such an amazing review!!

#There’s nothing I love more than detailed reviews #that let me talk about small behind the scenes #I hope this made sense lmao #WPAG: !spoilers! #fic: wanna play a game? #rambles #masterlist anon! #koqabear asks #[♡]— feedback !

[mizugucci]

❤️~!!

omg i admit i dont know much about you (which has to change) so this is also based on vibes and my brain doing whatever it wants. so just bare with me lol

so based on the idea that you are a veteran in the tomoon fandom as well as being so lovingly dedicated to oneus and your craft of giffing and being creative, i chose n (hakyeon) from vixx for you! he's also chic on stage but a sweetheart off, which i feel like mirrors you as well since you are kind of intimidating at first glance!

send me any heart emoji and ill tell you which of the idols ive giffed i would assign to you <3

#eyestrain #i hope this made sense lmao #also i had jsut listened to a vixx song so perhaps thats where some of #the idea came from lol #replies #answered

[risingsouls]

Anonymous asked: If Vegeta and Ganondorf were to ever meet, would it end badly?

[HM. That’s a good question. I think it would just depend on the situation and why they were meeting. If Vegeta showed up as a threat, no, they would not get along and it would end badly. For WHO, is a tossup, I think, as I’ve discussed before and we don’t really know the extent of the powers and abilities afforded Ganondorf from the Triforce of Power, so if he had that, I contend that there could be an actual match there.

However, in AUs where they’re meeting on more agreeable terms, they would probably butt heads because they're both stubborn and have massive egos, but if they had a similar goal, such as making some kind of deal to take care of the Hylians and then unite to deal with Frieza, I think they could potentially find common ground and halfway get along. Basically, the biggest factor for how their meeting would go is the why and when.

I don’t know if this was on your mind when you sent it, but if you’re wondering if there would be some kind of “love triangle” trope going on between Nabooru, Vegeta, and Ganondorf like fans and even canon like to do with Bulma, Vegeta, and Yamcha, there would definitely not be. I don’t even agree that there would be one with Bulma, Vegeta, and Yamcha, mostly due to Vegeta’s general attitude and it would be VERY difficult to make him feel threatened in the way Super tries to portray it, and I don’t think that shit would apply to these three either.]

#.:ooc:. #i hope this made sense lmao

[yardsards]

laios when his party needed more members:

#eliot posts #dunme #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #though i suppose this samurai was less hired and more just dragged along lmao #toshiro (and his team's) existence within this setting absolutely tickles me #bc the setting is so like. Standard Ambiguously Old Timey European Fantasy Setting #and then there just. is a samurai there. #it makes absolute logical sense if you think about it #like yeah of course a world that includes many continents will have more than just Fantasy Europe #but nonetheless seeing a samurai and a knight side by side in the same story is such a genre twist #(i hope no one has made this joke before lol it feels too obvious)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

#oh my god this was supposed to be a brief write-up what happened 😭 #ugh i feel like this is a bit of a mess and there's infinite other little points i could've made or elaborated on or interpreted differentl #but i'm so tired lmao #anyways tldr fuck you illumi you suck #killua is a snarky little shit but he also has so much love in his tiny body and i think we should appreciate him forever and ever #this also accidentally turned into alluka and nanika appreciation. i love them #nanika sweet angel i love you so much i hope you get all the head pats in the world #ghhh i'm so scared this doesn't make sense anymore i've been working on it for almost a week #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh meta #killua zoldyck #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective. #storyrambles #also that one scene where gon turns to look directly at killua and tells him he has fun being with him makes me jdfhbvsdjfbvh #he's so intense about it i start laughing. no wonder killua basically just went ??!?!?!?! and like. leaned back because i think i would've #done the same lmaoooo #it's very sweet though :') #argh. gotta post. i need to stop hesitating. let's go.

[littlestormofmess]

hello ! i know it's been more than a week since wad but i wanted to do a little something for: @danrifics (who started all this !!), @dnphobe @manchesterau @phan-tasia @less-amazing @phulge @hmfakeaccount and @oriharakaoru who bought tickets for 150 people (!!!!) to watch the show + the afterparty !!

as it was probably the case for everyone else that entered the giveaway, it wouldve been hard to buy a ticket myself, living on the other side of the world where the economy is very much fucked up kdhdk so thank you guys so much for this opportunity !! its also the first time i get to see one of these guys' live shows, well, live; and it was very exciting to get to experience it alongside so many people, i had lots of fun !!

anyways, all of you guys are more than welcome to request doodles in my asks/dms, if you so wish😌 could be dnp, could be anything ! (mostly) if not, *pushes this little guy toward you* there ya go. have a lovely day !! 🧡

#theres probably a bunch of typos but im tired kdhdk hope all that made sense #first time writing an ID for my art hhh #got the bestie to beta read for me but any additional tips/corrections are welcome !! #dan howell #dan howell fanart #we're all doomed #omg i guess its #phanart #ph-inally ahaaa (gets slapped) #dnp #dan and phil #ppl usually tag the other even in solo fanarts right.. #id in alt text #i was gonna say preshow too cause i was there lmao but then i read something about an actual live pre show w dan and now im confused kdhkdj #nevertheless thanks guys ;;;; #fran-art !! ☆

[strawberryspence]

this is ridiculously late but belated happy birthday, mackie! (@stevethehairington) everything you do is golden and being able to call you a friend is an honor. here’s some cheesy fluff for my friend. ily. 💛

“Where’s this one from?” Featherlight warmth spreads through Steve’s core. Eddie’s finger touches his taut skin, a memory weaved in between blood and skin.

Steve presses against the touch, “That one is from when Billy Hargrove broke a plate in my head.”

Eddie’s mouth gapes open, blinking at him in disbelief, “What now?”

Steve laughs, pressing his head at the blade of Eddie’s shoulders. He basks at the heat, like a kid in a summer field, remnants of passion and magic still in the air.

“Have I never told you that story?” Steve says, muffled as he presses kisses into Eddie’s shoulders, skin and scars making up his person.

“No?!” Eddie yelps, pushing him away gently, his face slacked with confusion and concern, “Does this look like the reaction of someone who knew that Billy fucking Hargrove broke a plate on your head?”

Steve smiles, pressing his thumb against Eddie’s forehead and smoothing the furrow away, “Well, I told you that story, right? Our second time with the Upside Down. It was around that time, when Billy attacked Lucas and we got into a fight.”

“Oh.” Eddie sighs, “I really don’t want to speak ill of the dead. But— Billy.” Eddie makes a face of disgust and cringe, that makes Steve laugh.

“Let me do one.” Steve urges on, making Eddie smile and nod.

There is something so magical with the way Eddie maps out Steve. Some nights, they stay up way past making love to learn every bit of skin. Steve never understood why, no one really stayed long enough to learn the stories burrowed in his skin.

Eddie says— like a person from an actual fucking fairy tale— that Steve is a map, a map of constellations and stories, all formed from years of journey and life. If anything, Eddie says, he’s very happy that he’s the first one to do it, to discover it, to write stories about it. Steve isn’t the best explorer, but he does his best to do the same for Eddie.

Steve lets his finger dance on skin, weaving through stories he hasn’t learned yet. He wishes— hopes— that his touch is just as gentle and as warm as Eddie’s and that it brings him the same comfort his touch does for Steve.

Steve pauses on a scar too small under his jaw, barely visible now that it’s been swallowed whole by bursts of scars from where the bats gnawed at him.

“How about this one?”

Eddie smiles, brown eyes lighting up with recognition, “Oh. You found that one, huh?” Steve hums.

“Well, that one I got from dancing on stairs. I was holding a fire truck, and I slipped and fell down the stairs. My mom said I was very smart and I was trying to brace for my fall, but the fire truck got me instead.”

Steve caresses the scar, like it’s still healing and bleeding in his hands, like the same way he did some months ago, when he found Eddie bleeding to his— almost— death.

“Did you need stitches?” Steve whispers, scared that it might’ve hurt for a younger version of his Eddie.

Eddie chuckles, smoothing over his hair and leaving a kiss on his crown, kissing away the worries, “Nope. Just bled a lot, but it did stop. Left a scar though. Had so much worse since then.”

Steve nods, pursing his lips into a smile, as his hands explore against bursts of red painted on Eddie’s skin. It’s the biggest most prominent scar, the ones they’ve barely talked about since they started exploring.

“Well, that one, I am not ready to talk about yet,” Eddie says, his hands shaking as it makes contact with Steve’s scar, directly mirroring his scar, “But one thing is for sure, it’s pretty fucking metal that we have matching scars.”

Steve chokes out a laugh, batting his hands away, “One day, when you’re ready to talk about it, it’ll be a story of survival and bravery.”

Eddie doesn’t speak, but he does pull him closer, forehead against Steve’s. That’s okay, if Eddie doesn’t believe it right now. He will, someday. Because that’s what healing is, bleeding and healing and living to tell the story.

It’s okay, because Steve will be there, until stories wrinkle and fold. To explore every scar and bump and listen to his stories as Eddie writes stories about bright stars engraved on his skin.

For now, he finds another one.

Steve smiles and says, “How about this one?”

#i dont know if this made any sense #they make me want to be cheesy #happy birthday mack!!! #two weeks too late now i think LMAO #but i love you and i hope you love this. #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #dae writes #daeheadcanons #steddie headcanon #steddie hc #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie

[alien-girl-21]

The Käärijä Research Paper (tm)

aka: Error Analysis of the Use of English Articles in Jere Pöyhönen Interviews in 2023

(Before we start, a couple of clarifications: firstly, I am a linguistics student and this research was my final project for my psycholinguistics course, secondly, this was a group research and I have gotten permission from my friends to share these results with y'all so tysm to them, and lastly, the og work is LONG, 50 pages long, so I'm condensing it into the important bits)

Findings and explanations under the cut <3

Before sharing the actual research, i'm going to share some important terms for you guys to understand the overall layout of this work.

Error analysis: kind of self explanatory, it's the process of analyzing errors, specifically in one's speech, more on how we did this later.

Omission: The alienation of a linguistic form in speech (i.e. I go to (the) supermarket.).

Addition: The opposite of omission, putting an unnecessary linguistic form in a sentence (i.e. It's the maybe half and half.).

Substitution: Exchanging a linguistic form for another one (i.e. He admitted to have stolen a wallet. Instead of: He admitted to having stolen a wallet.).

Overgeneralization: Looking at a grammatical rule and thinking it applies to every case with no exceptions (i.e. finding out verbs conjugated in the past end in -ed and creating conjugations like writted instead of written). Also known as intralingual transfer.

Negative transfer: When your mother tongue (L1) seeps into your second/foreign language (L2) (in this case it's foreign language, but I'll still call it an L2 for simplicity's sake), if we're talking about Spanish negative transfer it can look like: the car red (Spanish adjectives go after the noun, unlike in English). Also known as interlingual transfer.

Local error: An error that does not affect the overall meaning of the sentence, making it still understandable.

Global error: An error that affects the overall meaning of the sentence, making it difficult to understand without clarifications.

Okay, with that out of the way, let me explain what we did:

We decided to make an error analysis on how Jere utilized articles (the, a/an) throughout 2023, for this we considered 2 interviews and 1 Instagram live, the interviews were: KÄÄRIJÄ TRIES LITHUANIAN FOOD (uploaded on 12/04/23) and Episode 3: Käärijä and friends (uploaded on 26/12/23), the ig live was the one he did to promote the release of Huhhahhei on 19/10/23, the dates are important for later.

Now, to do the error analysis in itself we followed Rod Ellis’ proposal for error analysis which follows four main steps:

Identifying errors: Self-explanatory, you see what errors one has committed.

Describing errors: Once you see the errors, you describe what exactly the error is, it can be with grammatical categories, or with omission, misinformation, addition, misordering, and substitution.

Explaining errors: After describing the error you need to explain why this error was committed, the two main ways are through overgeneralization and negative transfer.

Error evaluation: After all this, you identify how the error affected the overall message of the sentence being spoken, was it local or global?

We put these steps into a chart and listened to the interviews and identified the errors we found, it’s a really long chart, so if you want to see it fully you can find it here (hopefully). After identifying all the errors and doing our own error analysis we… well, analyzed the data, duh, according to the objectives we set up for the research.

Our first objective was to identify errors Jere has committed regarding articles in the three videos I mentioned. What we analyzed was more grammatical, so what grammatical structure he used the most. He usually omits an article before a noun and with adjectives, like in: “We go to bar with my producer…”, or “Käärijä goes to boat.”, or “I am fine, uh… little bit tired.”. Obviously, this is kind of expected because Finnish does not have articles, but he also adds articles when it is not necessary, like in: “I have the one festival.” Here are the charts of the grammatical trends:

Then we focused on the describing errors part of our analysis. In this part, we found out that he usually finds himself committing omission errors, with 67 in total across the three videos, like I said before, expected, however, the second most common error is addition, this means he adds an unnecessary article in a sentence, and what’s interesting is that he usually does it with the article “the”. Since this is not an actual academic article I will speculate with a full chest: I think he does this because people are usually taught that “the” is the only article in English (only definite one, but not the only one), and that nouns usually have an article accompanying them, so I think that he adds the when he is unsure if an article needs to go there or not. Finally, there was only one case of substitution: “This is the lovely story.”, not really sure why he did this, but it’s interesting that it only happened once. Have the charts and graphs:

We moved to the next step: explaining errors. When we started this research, we thought that we would only have negative transfers since, ya know, Finnish grammar and all, and we were kind of right? He has committed negative transfer errors the most, with 66 in total, but he also had 23 overgeneralization errors, which I didn’t really expect to happen with articles that much. Not much else to say here, have charts:

Lastly, error evaluation. He made mostly local errors, which is what mainly characterizes his speech, we know what he’s saying, he just usually lacks some grammatical form that doesn’t affect his overall meaning. He did have 15 global errors that unless you have the context, it can be a little confusing to understand what he’s trying to say (like in the ig live he said “here tour” when he wanted to say “here in the tour”). Charts!

Our final objective was to see the evolution of these errors, has he made more or less as time went on? Well, since we all can see and hear, he has made a great improvement! You already have the charts above to understand that, but I just have to explain it. In the first interview, in April, he made 50 mistakes in total, by the ig live he had cut those in half, and by the latest interview he gave in English he had cut the mistakes in half again! Have the graphs to accurately see this:

He has improved so much in such a short amount of time! Even more impressive when he hasn’t really taken any formal English classes, just by talking to Bojan and Alessandra. There’s a difference between language learning and language acquisition that was proposed by Stephen Krashen (cool dude, if you’re interested in language learning, go check him out). He says that people usually learn more by acquiring (unconscious) rather than learning (conscious), and you can see that Jere has learnt so much by acquiring English through his friends and his own experiences! And this is just looking at how he uses articles, there is also a distinctive change in how he uses other grammatical forms (but that was too much work for just 2 weeks, maybe I’ll do it later, no promises on anything, though). Even if we’re not talking about his grammatical and syntactical forms, his pronunciation has improved as well! My friends were fascinated by how his accent seemed to develop from video to video, which was very sweet because his accent is one of my favorite things about his speech, but that’s off topic.

The general takeaway from this research is: Jere still has a lot of Finnish tendencies in his English, he has developed his own grammatical structures to communicate in English, and how much he improved in an 8-month period is kind of insane, especially for an adult (who are the age group who have the most trouble learning languages). He’s the it-girl of blowing off a linguist’s mind (me, I’m the linguist)

That would be all!! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask! I'm more than glad to answer them

#hope you enjoy reading this!! #anyways i was supposed to work on my slides to present this to the class tomorrow but...oh well #priorities #i also hope this made sense lmao #käärijä