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#i hope people won’t see my scars
charliethinks · 11 months
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i’m challenging myself today and im going out in a tank top and shorts. i’m kinda anxious
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morganski-19 · 16 days
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part 1
The next day, there’s someone new to visit Steve. Making Wayne stop in his tracks on his third coffee run. The rumors were true, the Chief isn’t as dead as he was a year ago. Just lost what looks to be half his body weight and all of his hair. Looking gaunt and malnourished. 
But he’s alive. That has to count for something.
Wayne wishes the Chief was there to see him. Give him the key to unlock the chain around Eddie’s wrist. So he’d be able to wake up to a clean slate. That his record will be clear and he won’t get carted off to jail as soon as he’s stable. So Wayne will be able to bring him home. 
Once he has a home to go to. Not just a shitty hotel room that costs more than it should for a night. But it’s right next to the hospital, so Wayne can be here in five minutes if something happens. When his boy wakes up. He has to wake up. 
It’s been five days since Eddie was brought in. Twelve since Wayne saw him last. All he wants is to hear his obnoxiously loud music blaring down the hall while he’s trying to sleep. Or the laughter that could make him smile even when he didn’t want to. Wayne wants his Eddie back, the boy he watched grow all of these years. He’s not ready for the day Eddie wakes up and the light is gone from his eyes. 
Because it will be. Wayne’s seen enough people come back from combat a completely different person. With the scars that are sewn into Eddie’s torso, up his neck, one on his cheek. There’s no doubt that he’s been through something unimaginable. Life changing. 
As much as Wayne wants Eddie to wake up. He’s not ready for him to wake up changed. 
There’s a knock on the hospital door before it opens. Wayne’s expecting a nurse to check Eddie’s vitals, tell him the same shit they have for days. That all is good and he’s progressing. It should be any day now that he wakes up. If the damage to his body wasn’t too much for him. Those words of hope lack their meaning now. 
But instead of a nurse walking through the door, it’s the Chief. 
“Can I sit?” He motions to the chair next to Wayne.
“I suppose.”
The Chief sits next to Wayne, not looking at him. “I hear he’s been in a coma for a few days now.”
Wayne nods, not much in the mood for talking. Civilly at least. Push the right button and the volcano is about to burst. 
“I’ve known a few people who’ve been in medically induced ones like this. They all wake up in the end.”
“I’d like for the cuffs to be off his wrist when he does,” Wayne snaps. Knowing that the Chief has the key to unlock them. “That way he can recover as an innocent man. Like he should.”
The Chief takes a deep breath. “I’m not fully reinstated yet. I don’t have the authority to do anything about that. Even if-”
“Even if what?” Wayne looks at the Chief. Anger filled his voice. “Even if he’s innocent. I know he’s innocent. My boy, my boy could barely hurt a fly, let alone a living, breathing person. He was kinder than people gave him credit for. This town gave him so much shit that he didn’t deserve. Still is. When I’m afraid he might never wake up the same again. So I’d like the cuffs off, so he knows that some part of this town sees him as something other than a villain.”
Finally looking Wayne in the eyes, the Chief takes a second to think. Nodding his head in thought. “You smoke?”
Wayne scoffs. “That really what you're thinking of right now?”
“Answer the question.” Something about the Chief makes Wayne believe there’s more to his words. 
“I do.”
“Great,” he stands, waiting for Wayne at the door. “Come on, let’s go.”
Wayne gets up, mainly because he doesn’t really have a choice but also because he wants to see where this is going. They pass Harrington in the hall, talking to someone on the phone. 
“Yeah, I’m free tomorrow. Can’t wait to sleep in my own bed. No don’t do that. Cause I don’t think it’s time to throw a party yet, not while.” He makes brief eye contact with Wayne as they walk by. Before turning away. “Just won’t feel right without all of us.”
Wayne has no clue who he’s talking about, but it’s probably not Eddie. Hopes it isn’t. He still doesn’t know how he feels about this kid, even if he knows Eddie’s innocent. Doesn’t forgive him from his past, if rumors are true. And knowing who his dad is, Wayne wouldn’t be surprised if they all were true. 
The Chief leads him to the side of the hospital, where there’s no foot traffic. No one around to hear. Wayne suddenly understands what this might all be about. Something not for wandering ears. 
“What I say does not leave this conversation,” he starts, handing Wayne a cigarette. Lighting his own before passing the lighter to Wayne. “Got it?”
Wayne nods. 
“I know Eddie’s innocent. But there’s some weird shit that was happening around then that I cannot tell you about it. All you need to know is that the Feds are involved, and they’re looking for a fall guy. And I’m trying my hardest to make sure that the fall guy isn’t your nephew. So while it might not seem like it, some progress is being made. Your nephew will be a free man when he wakes up. I give you my word on that.”
“I don’t even know how to start processing what you just said.” Wayne takes a long drag from the cigarette, letting the smoke blow out into the alleyway. 
The Chief laughs. “That was all of us the first time this happened. I’d say it gets easier but it really doesn’t.”
“The first time?”
“There’s a lot more to this town than meets the eye.”
“How do I know your word is any good?”
The Chief considers this for a moment. “You don’t really. But who else do you know who can fix this?”
With that, the Chief nods goodbye and heads to the parking lot. Leaving Wayne with more questions than answers, and a little flame of hope he’s wishing won’t get put out.
I don't know how many parts this will be but I do know they will be posted sporadically whenever I have time to write them. So, no promises of consistency.
also, tag list. I tagged anyone who asked/seemed interested in a part two. please let me know if you would like to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar, @tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda, @fandomsanddeath, @marismorar
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kechiwrites · 5 months
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choking hazard
simon “ghost” riley x medic!reader
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synopsis: you have a very special request for simon. he thinks you're insane.
wc: 1.3k
cw: afab!reader, choking, grinding, hotdogging, haphazard kink negotiation, thigh riding, playful name-calling, no use of y/n ever.
an: a quick little bite of simon and medic reader for this challenge, which i technically failed cause this is way over 100 words. happy thanksgiving
“What?” He asks, but really, it lacks the traditional inflection of a question. Instead, the single word manages to hold deep exhaustion and a healthy helping of ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’. 
Which, rude.
You stomp your foot, the moue of your lips more than a little petulant. “Oh, come on, don’t make it weird. Just...a little. Enough to pass out.” you raise your hand and pinch the air for emphasis.
“What?” Oh! The inflection was back, and he’d shifted weight onto his other foot. His cotton mask allows for you to see the top half of his face today, and you’re grateful, because the furrow in his brow exposes that while he really wants to just up and leave this conversation, he’s far too curious, or maybe perplexed? Disturbed?
“I want you to choke me out, Simon.” You grin, shrugging, “preferably with your cock in me but...” You mutter to yourself, pressing your lips together and widening your eyes in mock innocence when he glares at you in response, obviously hearing you. 
“No.” He turns away from you, pushing around the ceramic skull you placed in your office. A paperweight, whose presence had absolutely no hidden, romantic meaning whatsoever, you’d simply seen it in a home goods display off base and snatched it up. 
It had been on sale. Or something.
“I’m a doctor.” You tap your name tag insistently, “I know my limits, Si.” Now you’re just trying to rile him up, as if he’d ever lay a hand on you in anger you didn’t expressly beg for. Still, he hates when you shorten his name, used to hate it when you said it at all. 
Thankfully, things change.
“Fucking quack.” He mutters and you make a loud, dramatic, wounded noise you’d heard in a K-Drama you had watched once before flipping back to your favourite period drama you’d watched a million times over. You flatten your hand against your chest and rear back, more for your own gratification than to impress your offence upon Simon. 
“I’m serious! I’m curious and I know it won’t cause any real, lasting damage.” You approach him from behind, wrapping your arms around his middle. He flinches, not from surprise, you guess, but from sensation, before his body relaxes. You push your face between his shoulder blades, rubbing your nose against his shirt. 
“I’ll suck you off after.” You murmur, and the lieutenant snorts derisively. 
No dice.
“Then I’ll ask Soap to do it!” You release him, and circle around your desk, feigning a grab towards your cell phone.
He doesn’t rise to the bait initially, turning back to face you and crossing his inked, scarred arms. You ogle them shamelessly, eyes greedily tracing every bit of knicked skin, every prominent, tempting vein. Thing of beauty, his arms were. “Go on, then.” He shrugs and consternation makes you furrow your brow in defeat. Unfortunately, the closer the two of you become, the more bags of candy and suggestive texts and lingering glances you exchange, the easier it is to read the other’s intent, your bluffs. 
You pout, and kick at the corner of your own desk, shifting it slightly. “Fine. I wouldn’t ask him.” You tilt your head, pinning him with a needy look you hope is suitably enticing, “I’m asking you cause I trust you, Simon. Please?” 
Apparently, bald, earnest honesty is the ticket because your not-boyfriend heaves a sigh and uncrosses his arms, raising one to rub at the back of his neck, the black t-shirt he dons stretched tantalizingly tight over the curve of his muscled bicep.
Oh, this was going to be so good.
“Fine. Just don’t piss yourself.” 
“Do people do that?” You wrinkle your nose, and Simon levels you with a look, dark brown eyes broadcasting a stark “Do I fucking look like I’m joking?” 
Regardless, you clap your hands in celebration, locking the door to your office and sprinting back to stand in front of him, the framed photo of your commanding officer, your mother, and you looking on judgmentally. You try to ignore it but end up putting the photo down on its face, no need for dear mum and your boss to witness your fantasy come to life.
Simon turns you to face away from him, the heat of his hands seeping into your shoulders. He is always so warm. It had been a boon to your freezing feet the few times you’d shared a bed for actual sleeping. (He’d cursed at you for maybe a minute before hiking your legs up to bracket his hips, so you could fall asleep wrapped around him like a koala.)
“Double tap, you understand?” He barks, and you can’t help but shimmy in excitement. 
“Yup!” 
Simon wraps a burly arm around your neck, not exerting any pressure yet. He hooks his other arm around his wrist so it sits in his elbow, and places that palm on the crown of your head, securing you snugly in a standard choke-hold. 
“Good?” He mutters low, his chest blankets your back, and you're enveloped in the clean, sharp scent he usually carries with him.
You laugh, “Yeah-huh-huh-huh.” and you know you sound a little stupid, but you’re getting what you wanted and even without Simon utilizing force, you can feel yourself getting wet, forcing you to rub your thighs together in anticipation.
He begins to constrict your airway and it feels as though your head is ballooning, building up pressure as breathing slowly becomes more and more difficult. Your eyelids flutter closed and your lips part in shock. It doesn’t feel good, necessarily, but it certainly doesn’t feel bad. It’s obvious Simon’s holding back a lot. It probably should hurt but the lack of air makes your mind stutter to a stop, and all you can feel is Simon’s heat along your back and his strength holding you in place and his scent where it’s stalled in your lungs, unable to escape. When he shifts a bit behind you, your eyes pop back open in surprise at what you feel.
“You’re hard!” You wheeze incredulously, using the very last bit of air you had to call him out.
“And you’re a fucking lunatic.” He bites back, jerking his hips forward to rub his clothed erection against the swell of your ass. And he’s been doing that a lot lately, pushing up against your back, grinding along the fat of your thighs. Just last week, he’d spent a whole night hot-dogging (“Dumb fucking name, huh?”) the aching length of his dick between the cheeks of your ass, fucking against your flesh until he spilled hot and thick over your lower back.
You think he may be developing a thing.
He keeps rocking against you, branding his shape into your backside. “God.” He mutters, pulling you up and sliding his knee between your thighs. You can’t speak, what with your brain rapidly losing function, but if you could you’d hiss your assent, maybe scream when the muscles of his thigh nudge against your clit. 
Your lungs and cunt burn in unison, and the edges of your vision fade, but you want to keep going, want to come just like this, completely under his control, dry humping his massive thigh, unable to breathe.
Finally, you raise a shaky hand to tap at his forearm, and Simon immediately releases you, letting you stumble forward, off his leg and towards your desk. Your palms make contact with the polished wood and you hunch forward panting loud and hard. The room is fucking spinning, but all you can bring yourself to do is laugh like a fucking maniac.
“You good?” The soldier speaks, the sound of his footsteps just barely piercing through the sound of your rushing blood. Your voice is practically non-existent and you have to clear your throat three times, but when you do eventually croak out a response, your chest heaves with your desperate breaths in between your words. 
“Yeah, fuck yes.” Your chest slowly loses that frantic, mounting pressure and when you turn your head to look at Simon over your shoulder, his eyes are unfathomably dark and narrowed, running laps over your legs, thighs and ass.
“Good. Take your scrubs off. Right now.”
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peachesofteal · 3 days
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Simple Math / Part Thirteen
Simple Math masterlist
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Ghost/Soap/female reader 4.2k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Nurse!reader. Domestic slice of life. Feelings of fear, self loathing, anxiety, dread. Complicated emotions. Verbal depiction of domestic violence. Non sexual intimacy. Scars from cigarette burns. Very brief daddy kink. Sick character (not reader). Comfort. Confessions.
The park is quiet.
You hoped it would be- middle of the day, in the middle of a work week, in the middle of the city. There are a few people around, walking, running, lingering. Enjoying themselves, the warmth of the sun on their face, a bright spot amid a typically grey winter.
It makes it easier. To look.
To watch.
To wait.
And you do. You wait, and you wait. You sit steady on the park bench, pretending to be remotely interested in the rough paperback cradled in your lap, spine already cracked flimsy by Simon’s grip. It’s Stephen King. Carrie, if you’re precise. A story of stolen girlhood and rage.
You swallow the shards of glass and acid the pages bring forth.
Deep breath. 
The breeze gusts, and your shoulders nearly shake. It’s been a long, long time since you’ve sat out in the open like this.
Easy prey.
You may have always been easy prey. Easy and young and stupid, easy, and naïve and manipulated. You fell for every trick in the book. You didn’t see the signs until it was too late.
Still, you watch. You wait.
You considered, for a while, that if Philip was around, if he was in the city, looking for you- he’d arrive here. Like magic. Like a classic villain, materializing in a plume of smoke.
And while it’s not exactly comfort you feel as each minute ticks by and he fails to appear, there’s relief in your soul for certain.
It’s a risk, to sit here. A question. With an answer, for now.
Will he? Won’t he? 
Today, the answer is he won’t.
Your phone vibrates, and you don’t need to look at it to know, guilt worming its way into the depths of your heart, anxiety piquing as you imagine both Simon and Johnny at their house, their home, worried.
Don’t fool yourself. Don’t give yourself too much credit. Don’t get carried away. 
Someone clears their throat over the back of the bench, and you whirl.
“Hey, sorry.” Your pulse slows from a gallop to something slower, and you shake your head.
“You can’t sneak up on me like that.” The man shrugs his second apology, legs spreading into the spot next to you. You’re practiced at this, familiar. Knowledgeable enough to keep your hands from shaking, even though the tremor builds through your bones.
“Been waitin’ for you to call.”
“I’ve been busy.” You eye the black bag in his hands, a small black fabric pouch, gold zipper glinting in the sun. “That everything?” He nods.
“Can I ask-“
“No.”
“Just seems strange, is all. Pretty, polished thing like you, needin’ all this. Most of my clients are more… rough around the edges.” Your teeth dig into your tongue. Already, this guy is less discreet and more obnoxious than your last purveyor. You wish you had hidden your face.
Like Simon. 
“We’re solid, then?” You unzip the pouch, cursory eye roaming over the collection inside, checking off a mental list. Usually, you would feel relief at this point, but today, it sours and rots. Liberation burns into a roaring wave of uncertainty, and your fingers tighten over the zipper.
“We’re good.” He stands, giving you one last long look, and then his mouth shifts into a half smile. “Good luck.” Your polite nod is strained and forced. A nonverbal fuck off.
He takes the cue, and slinks away, disappearing around a corner and out of sight.
The bag weighs heavily in your hands. A terrible reminder of the truth.
You’ll never have a life. You’ll never have a family. You’ll always be alone. 
You’ll never be pretty or polished or perfect. 
You’ll always be this. 
Scarred. Sectioned off. Scared. 
Desperation wells, and you close your eyes. You see Johnny, and Simon. Their faces. Sunlight in bleak darkness.
Love and family and strength.
The ache in your chest widens. You want to be home, with them. Curled up, with them. Sitting at the table and eating dinner, with them. All these things, these domestic, familiar things that once seemed so unattainable, now within arm’s reach.
But still so far away. 
Your shoulders relax a fraction, dipping lower, the strain on your injury zinging through your muscles as you roll them, and you shove the little bag into the backpack, above the clothes you pulled from your apartment.
Deep breath. 
Johnny’s the first you see after locking the front door. He’s in the kitchen, half leaning on his crutch, fishing something out of a pot, a noodle of some kind, and he freezes, eyes heavy with relief, when you come around the corner.
“Bunny.” His good arm reaches, fingers brushing together, cold against warm. He coos. “Ye’re freezin’.”
“It’s cold.” You agree, unzipping the front of your jacket. He slides cautious and slow touch around your waist beneath it, and you go with him, face burrowing into his chest, just below his collarbone. Your nose is nearly smashed, but you can still breath him in, feel him, be in this moment with him.
His hold tightens. “What is it?”
“Sorry it took me so long.”
“That’s alright, was jus’ worried is all. Text us back next time.” You nod, but stay silent, still taking gulps of air, nosing against the collar of his shirt to find his skin. “Pretty girl,” his hand strokes over the back of your head, warm breath on your cheek. “Ye alright?” You breathe through the threat of tears, though they sting and threaten to sink you.
“Ye-yeah.” You choke, and he tries to pull back, grip steady on your upper arm, but you follow him, still trying to crawl inside and hide, wrap yourself up in him and disappear.
“Hey now,” he clucks his tongue, trying to re-focus you, trying to get your attention, nimble fingers cradling your jaw, “what is it?”
There are no words to explain it, these feelings. The fear. The dread. The bile rioting in your stomach, the anxiety churning like a turbulent sea. It’s like no matter what you do, it all comes back, no matter how deep you bury it or how much you try to change the tide.
It’s easier to lie.
“I’m tired.” You whisper, and he rubs your back.
“Did ye eat?” No.
“Yes. I got something at the hospital.”
“Paperwork all in order so ye can hang out wit’ us until ye’re better?” His smile is infectious, a mirror blooming across your own face, and he dots your nose with his lips. “There’s our girl.” Your toes curl. He tugs the backpack into his grip, and you let him, let him push you up into the counter, drop your bag to the floor, slip his tongue between his teeth. You let it all go to your head, let yourself get lost in him, twist your fingers in his hair, nipples pebbling stiff as his mouth finds the sensitive skin of your neck.
He takes it all away. Every time. 
“Johnny.”
“I’ve got ye.” He finds an opening, a soft spot between your jeans and your shirt, hands roaming upward and over, everywhere. He’s everywhere, effortlessly, and you’re along for the ride, clinging so tight like you’re afraid you’ll fall.
And then-
It stops.
He’s holding your face, blue gaze unwavering, focused. “Bun, talk to me.” Your throat throbs, words sticking like taffy, clawing their way up in a jumbled mess until the only thing intelligible is what spills out.  
“Is this real?” You’re a child. Small and scared, desperate for some sort of reassurance, some semblance of security.
“Is what real?” His fingers close over yours, lifting them to his lips. “This? Us?”
“Everything. All of it… I- I-“
“It’s real. It’s been real since ye held my hand the first time. Or at least, it’s been real for me… since then. Thought ye were an angel. An answer to a prayer.” He cracks a smile, thumb rubbing across the slope of your cheek. “An’ I’m not the praying type.”
“There’s… you don’t know me, Johnny. There’s so much… you don’t know.” Your chest heaves, anxiety stuttering inside your lungs, air turning thin in your mouth.
“I know, shhh. I know.” You press your face back into his chest, words slowing to a stop, a trickle. “Ye remind me of him, ye know. A lot prettier though.”
“Who?”
“Si.” He kisses your temple, your forehead, peeling away to peer at your face. “Guarded… but scared under it all. Ye dinnae even know how life can be, too busy runnin’ away.”
“Johnny-“
“Ye’ve got secrets, I know. But it’s the same thing I used to tell him. Eventually you’ve got to let go, let me in. Let us in, Bun. We’re not goin’ anywhere. We’re not afraid. Let us prove it.” Your lower lip trembles, eyes burning with the brunt of tears. “Shhh, dinnae cry. Ye’re alright, everything’s going to be okay. I swear it.” You do nothing, nothing except stand there, half folded into him, breath and touch agonizingly slow, steady in his hold.
The two of you stay there, in the silence, until the agonized sear of distress starts to fade, and you begin to balance, ship righting itself after a long night in rocky seas.
Penny’s bedroom door is open.
The soft glow of a nightlight floats into the hall, and you peer past, finding Simon with his arms full, reclined in the rocking chair, a nearly asleep Penny gap mouthed in his arms. You wave.
“Hi,” he whispers, “get everything you needed?”
“Yeah, all set.” You nod to the baby. “She’s knocked.”
“Bath time was rough.” He traces her cheek, twirling a finger in her hair. A soft, faultless picture, his features delicately framed by shadow, thick arms the perfect place for a baby, an easy cradle.
It’s an intimate moment, and inside it, you feel out of place.
“I’ll see you downstairs?” You shift away, motioning, and he hums.
“In a few.”
Everything is slow with them in the evenings, you’ve realized.
They move leisurely, dancing around one another, Simon constantly watching and waiting, for both you and Johnny, anticipating. It’s a natural role, one that seems more permanent over necessary considering the circumstances, Johnny falling into an unhurried pace, languishing on the couch after dinner and dishes are done, fingers mindlessly stroking into the soft spot beneath your ear. Simon leans over, kissing Johnny and then settling at your side, an arm stretching around your back. “Should we watch something?” Johnny brightens.
“A movie?”
“If you’d like. Bun, any suggestions?” You blink. It’s a surprise, one that’s never occurred to you, the ability to simply choose a movie.
“Umm… no?”
“What’s yer favorite?”
“I don’t know. Whatever is fine. What do you guys like?”
“We know what we like. We want to know what you like.” What do you like? Comedies, you suppose. Something light and funny, something to distract the never-ending stream of thoughts cycling through your head.
“Uh, have you guys ever seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall?” Johnny chuckles.
“It’s been a while.” He flicks through the icons on the screen, thumbing over to where he starts to type it in. What if they don’t like it? What if they’re humoring you? What if you picked wrong? “Or, if you don’t like that, we can do something else. Anything. I’m not picky. It doesn’t have to be-“
“Hey,” Simon murmurs, warm palm resting on your knee, “that’s perfect. We both like that one.”
“Dracula musical.” Johnny smiles, finding it easily and clicking play. Your breath catches at the ease of it all, of picking a movie and that being that, no anxiety about a reaction or something triggering popping up on screen.
You can just… enjoy it.
The light in their bathroom is a little too bright.
Your toes stretch across the tile, nerves thrashing in the pit of your stomach as you stare in the mirror.
You don’t know who it is looking back at you.
You don’t recognize the girl getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth, wearing a pair of pajama pants and Simon’s shirt.
There’s a disconnect, some semblance of wires crossing, some phantom of someone else, living in your skin.
Because it can’t be you, getting ready to crawl into bed between them. It can’t be you, who fell asleep with her head on Simon’s stomach during the movie, can’t be you who stole a kiss from Johnny as Simon propped his leg up on the stack of pillows.
You’re playing house. Playing a game. 
It won’t last. 
It can’t.
You wrap a finger up in the hem of Simon’s shirt, frayed and torn edges pulling apart below the seam. It’s an old one, something he tugged out of a drawer and tossed on the bed, faded graphic turned from white to grey against a rusted black backdrop. It’s soft, and worn, and comfortable, an article of clothing well loved, and you wonder if Johnny’s worn it too. If it’s been passed around, washed, and dried a hundred times.
“Everything alright?” Simon leans into the bathroom, Johnny in view just past his shoulder. He’s not wearing a shirt, just soft, flannel pants, and you stare at the scars dotting his torso before dragging your gaze away.
“Yeah, sorry… I got distracted.” You turn the tap, rinsing your toothbrush before placing it by itself on the edge of the sink, out of place next to the cup holding theirs, and Penny’s.
You blink slow, allowing your eyes to close for a fraction of second.
“Ready for bed?” Johnny beams at you, lush and sleepy, hand outstretched, reaching.
You take a deep breath. “Yeah.”
Simon’s bedside lamp is still on, barely illuminating the dark. It’s quiet, and warm, and you bask in the space between their bodies, fingers playing idly with the hem of your shirt.
When Johnny’s fingers graze the skin under the fabric, your chest tightens. He strokes back and forth, over your navel, blazing heat from his palm tingling into your skin. You’re being torn in two, swallowed by the ocean, tugged in different directions.
You struggle to regulate your breathing, small draws coming in quicker, and Simon covers Johnny’s hand with his own, stopping the movement.
“Will you show us?” He murmurs.
“Sh-show you?”
“The scars.” Oh.
Will you? 
Even though Simon’s already seen them, this feels different. This feels like a choice. Like you’re peeling something back, baring yourself.
You close your eyes and pull the bottom of your shirt to the top of your ribcage, cool air ghosting over your exposed skin. Johnny makes a sound, a twisted whisper of something pained, and you shiver.
A thumb slides over the raised skin on the left side of your belly. “These are from cigarettes?”
“Yes.” You almost want to look, want to see, but can’t bring yourself to do it, to witness their disgust, their shock. You’re hollow. Drifting. Falling away from them. Someone shifts, the bed moves, jostles slightly, but you block it out. Every muscle in your body is taut, jaw locked, and fists clenched.
This morning was intimate but this… this is something else. Something more. 
“Can ye feel them, still? Do they hurt?” Two hands roam, rubbing gently, skimming.
“No but… they’re hideous.”
“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.” Your heart cracks, and the light touch of fingertips disappears, replaced with a swath of breath and then-
Lips. 
He’s kissing them. 
It stops your heart, dries your mouth. Robs you of your breath, your head spinning into an enormous vortex of disbelief. Simon’s mouth travels, dotting your skin between each ugly, raised bump, carefully pressing a kiss to each one, gradually. He takes his time, and with your eyes closed, you can feel his body hovering above you, holding steady just over your frame. Johnny’s forehead rests against yours, and he cups your face, thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek, sweet and slow.
“Will ye tell us… about how you got them? Who gave them to ye?” Simon cradles your hips, firm pressure folding into your skin, the curve there, and he squeezes, prompting you, expecting. You don’t know how he does it, how he’s so easily able to guide you, and Johnny. It’s seamless.
“I…” You don’t know what to say, if you were to say anything at all. How to answer. How to begin to explain. How to confirm what you know they already suspect, how to start this story. This nightmare.
Are you really doing this? Could you really do this? 
There’s a sliver of sun, begging. Pleading. It rails against the cracks in your heart, desperate.
So, you spit out the only thing you know for sure.
“He liked to hurt me.”
“Who?” Simon’s question is immediate, and your ribs expand with a long breath.
“My… ex.” Stop talking. Stop this, stop it, stop- “He’s a monster.”
“The healed breaks on your x-rays…” He trails off, and you reach blindly, searching for an anchor. Johnny gives it to you, clutching your hand in his, thumb soothing over your knuckles.
“Yes.”
“And more.” Simon whispers, and Johnny draws a sharp breath. You nod.
“And more.”
“Your neck, and shoulder?” There’s a long silence, as you sit atop the wall. As you wait and try to decide if you want to jump off or continue to sit here… trapped at the top, teetering on the edge while they wait below.
You’re in their life now. You said you’d try. They should know. 
You trust them. 
Don’t you? 
“He found me.” You confess, cracked and bleeding and hung out to dry. Three words barely scratching the surface of the truth, saying almost nothing at all and still so much. You stumble, and panic, fear bubbling up to the surface. “I’m sorry, I told you before- I said-“
“And we told ye; nothing is going to get ye while ye’re with us. Ye’re safe, bunny.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about!” you blurt, a near snap, and Johnny freezes. “It’s you guys, and Penny, and your friends, you- you don’t know what he’s capable of. You don’t understand. He’s chased me across the world, he always finds me, no matter what, no matter what I do, o-or where I go-” You’re rambling, nearly hyperventilating, and slipping away, succumbing to the rolling black clouds overtaking your mouth and mind, stuttering and falling, drowning in an endless darkness.
They don’t know. They don’t understand. They can’t. 
You’re weak. You’re stupid. You’re nothing. 
You’re a child again. A lost girl. Alone and scared. Trapped in the dark.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” You shake your head, and Simon catches it between his palms, holding you still. You can fight and flail and run, but he’s still there. Strong and safe and beautiful in every way, a foundation of love, of trust. “It’s just us, we’re here. With you. Look.” Johnny tightens his hold, and your bones rattle inside your skin, aching and splintering, shredding you from the inside out.
“I can’t.” You hiss, trying to curl away. You can’t face them, or this. The reality. The truth.
It’s easier to run. Who were you kidding? You can’t do this. You should have already been gone. 
But they won’t let you go. Not now. Not when they have you so close to the light. So close to the sun. 
And maybe it’s time to accept it.
“Look at me, pretty girl.” Johnny murmurs. “Ye can do it.” The pull of his voice drags you closer, comforts you, and you long for him, long to see his blue eyes, overgrown mohawk and gorgeous smile. You long to relax into him, to hear the thump of his heart, steady and strong. He’s a lighthouse in the pitch-black night, a guiding light. It’s enough to lessen pressure building in the back of your skull, and you slowly blink, both of their concerned faces coming into view.
The three of you linger silence, holding each other, decompressing from your confession, your fear that feels too much sometimes. It all fades, night turning long, and eventually you yawn, blinking away the sleepy stars in your eyes.
“There’s our bunny.” Simon kisses your cheek. “My good girl.” My good girl. Turning it over in your mind makes you squirm, allowing it ricochet back and forth with his accent, and you wish you could latch onto it, memorize it, hear it every day. Johnny gives you a bemused smile.
“Ye liked that?” He raises an eyebrow at Simon, and then presses his lips to your ear, whispering. “Ye want to be a good girl for daddy, little bunny?” Daddy. You choke. You anticipate disgust, revulsion, but none of it comes.
Only… intrigue. Warmth.
“I think that’s enough for tonight.” Simon interrupts gently. “Thank you, sweetheart. For trusting us. I know it’s hard.” You turn into Johnny, and Simon rolls to flick out the light, pulling up tight behind you, sliding an arm under the pillows. You burrow deeper into the blankets, snuggling between them to find the warmest spots, and sigh.
“You both… make it easier. You make it easy.”
The world from yesterday is forgotten the next day when Penny wakes up with a fever.
The house is thrown into confined, regulated chaos, but chaos all the same. She wails almost the entirety of the morning, miserable, and you ache for both her, and her dads, who are unmoored and anxious. You don’t even balk when Simon asks you to hold her, explaining he has to call her pediatrician.
“Hey, you’re okay.” You coo, rubbing her back. She’s warm to the touch, but not scorching, and it gives you some comfort, even with what little you know about peds. You rock her, pacing, as Johnny watches uneasily from the couch, typing unending questions into a web search about babies and fevers. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I know you don’t feel good.”
“It’s 38.1… that’s fine, right? As long as it’s under 39?”
“I think so.” You try to reassure him. “I’m not a little human nurse though, so I can’t be sure. But it hasn’t been that long, Johnny. We don’t need to worry until at least twenty-four hours.” He nods, lips quirking into a small smile. “What?”
“Ye said we.”
“Well… yeah…” you trail off, and he shakes his head.
“Jus’ like the sound of it, is all. Like how ye look, holdin’ our baby.” You give him a look, half exasperated, half doe eyed, as always, because you can’t help but feel a little lovestruck or dazed whenever you glance his way, always taken by him, no matter the moment.
Simon steps back inside from the patio, swooping to rub his nose in Johnny’s hair and squeeze his shoulder affectionately. “The pediatrician says if she gets worse, or doesn’t improve by tomorrow, to bring her in.”
“Good.” You bounce her, propping her up on your shoulder. “That’s good.” She gurgles, croaking through her miserable fever. “Poor baby girl, I’m sorry.” You pat her again, trying to help settle her-
She coughs, and something warm runs down your back.
“Shite.” Johnny curses, Simon immediately trying to pull her from your arms, but you shake your head.
“There’s no sense in her throwing up on you too.” You explain.
“I’ll go grab a towel, and some clothes. Do you want to change your shirt?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You keep your hand steady on her back. You’ll both need a thorough wipe down now, maybe even a shower.
“Sorry, bun.” Johnny frowns, but you reassure him, still rocking Penny in your arms. 
“It’s fine, really. I’ve been through way worse with bodily fluids, trust me.” The bottom stair creaks, in the way that it only does for Simon, his mass too much for one of the wooden slats.
When you look up, you realize he’s not moving, only standing shock still, clothes and towel and a baby blanket in one hand,
and the contents of the little black bag in the other.
You left it on the dresser. You left it out in the open, unzipped, on the dresser. 
Your blood freezes. Johnny frowns, looking between his partner and you, trying to desperately draw a conclusion that doesn’t come.
Simon holds the little navy-blue book up, the one with your picture in it, but with a name they won’t recognize. A person they wouldn’t know.
A person you don’t even know, yet. A new life. A new identity.
“What’s that?” Johnny’s quizzical, intrigued.
“Bunny.” Simon breathes, and you shake your head. It’s all you can do, just shake your head back and forth until your brain is rattling around in your skull.
You can’t stop it.
They’ll never love you. They won’t accept you. They won’t understand. 
“It’s- it’s j-just in case,” you stammer, panicked and tongue tied. “you… you don’t understand, I have to have it… just in case.”
“What is it?” Johnny demands, and Simon flips the front of the booklet around-
revealing the cover of a brand-new American passport.
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Text
I Heard Your Voice in a Dream
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Reader’s village in the Spring Court is destroyed by Hybern (F U Tampon), and she is on her own until Azriel finds her. She feels instantly connected to him, but is not sure why, until one morning when he tells her everything.
(Also my first attempt at duel POV)
Warnings: a smutty ending
Word Count: 6.4k
You were running for your life when Azriel found you. 
After the High Lord of the Spring Court made a deal with the devil to bring back his love that fled from him, life looked much different for you. 
Hybern had attacked your village, destroyed your home and everything you had ever known. Your High Lord was nowhere to be found. Most of the people you knew didn’t make it out. Somehow, you had, but you couldn’t help but wonder… at what cost?
You spent your time wandering the endless green spring, not sure what to do. You had missed the evacuation. Nobody knew you were injured or where you were. By the time you were well enough to walk, you were alone. 
The panic was made worse by the fact that you knew what was in these lands -- monsters that you had no hope of beating should they target you. 
And eventually, they did target you. 
You weren’t sure what kind of creature it was -- just knew that those teeth could rip you to shreds and you wouldn’t be able to outrun it for long. 
But you did run, because what other choice did you have? You ran and ran, not daring to look back. You could hear it gaining on you with every step, until you felt, more than heard, the ground shaking beneath you. 
Suddenly, it was silent, the terrible feet of the monster no longer sounding behind you. You risked a glance back, and saw who must have been a warrior, with enormous black wings spread behind him, wiping off his bloody blade on the grass next to the carcass of the beast.
You stopped running, turning around slowly, studying him as he looked up at you. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen, with dark black hair and a completely stoic face, giving away absolutely nothing about what he was thinking. The hard lines of that face terrified you as much as they intrigued you. You realized you were shaking as he walked toward you slowly, as if approaching an injured animal. He was wearing some kind of armor -- all black, with gleaming, glowing circles attached to several points of his body. There were dark tendrils of what looked like smoke circling his arms, his hands. He sheathed his gleaming black blade as he approached you. 
He held his hands out, severely scarred, you noticed, palms facing you as he got closer. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” His deep, commanding voice seemed to echo through the now quiet woods.
You couldn’t stop trembling, couldn’t bring your voice to speak.
“What’s your name?” he said softly when he stopped a few feet from you.
You told him, your voice barely above a whisper.
The warrior repeated your name quietly, his hazel eyes softening, then said “I’m Azriel. Are you hurt?”
“I-- I don’t think so.”
Azriel nodded, his eyes scanning your body, as if to confirm it. “What are you doing out here alone?”
You couldn’t help but think that the soft, gentle voice he was now using with you was such a juxtaposition to the fierceness of his armor, his no doubt rock solid body, his massive wings. “I have nowhere to go,” you finally choked out.
His brow furrowed, his eyes swimming with emotion you couldn’t quite place. “Your family?”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say it. The expression on your face seemed to say enough. His jaw tightened as he swallowed.
“Your home?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Destroyed,” you whispered.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, his expression softening as he studied your face. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head, but you couldn’t imagine what he was contemplating. 
“Thank you,” you croaked out eventually. “For saving my life.”
You turned to go, not wanting to inconvenience him further, but his hand grasped your wrist. As you turned around, you noticed his demeanor had completely changed. He staggered back a step, still holding onto you, pulling you forward a bit. Where before he was confident and calming, his eyes were now wide, his mouth open in what could only be shock.
“What is it?” you asked.
Azriel shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear it. “Come with me.”
You didn’t try to hide your surprise. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll manage.”
He moved his grip from your wrist to your hand, holding it carefully in his, as he gazed at your face, his eyes pleading. “You won’t survive out here. My home -- it’s safe. You’ll be safe.”
Contemplating this, you tried to weigh your options. You knew he was right, that you wouldn’t make it for much longer alone out here. You could try to make it to another court, but how long would that take? And what would happen to you if you got there? But, his home, the one he claimed was safe… you had never seen anyone like him before. Never seen anyone as intimidating. Finally, you asked. “Who… are you?”
His cheeks dusted red as he seemed to grapple for the right words. “I work for the High Lord of the Night Court,” he said carefully.
Unconsciously, you took a step back, pulling your hand from his grasp.
Azriel’s eyes flared. If you didn’t know better you would think it was panic. “It’s not what you think,” he said, his voice steady despite his body language.
“The Night Court?” you felt your heart beating faster. Why did your savior have to be from there, of all places? The only thing worse than these woods would be the Court of Nightmares, where not just the High Lord, but the people were brutal and malicious.
“If you just saw it, you would understand,” he said, taking a careful step towards you again. “I will keep you safe, I swear it.” His eyes remained pleading in a way that you couldn’t comprehend.
“Why?” you asked, trying to make sense of this warrior before you. “Why do you care so much?”
He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he said with all the sincerity in the world, “I couldn’t live with myself if I just left you here.”
You sighed, trying to think. As if reading your thoughts he said, “You either trust me or be eaten by something out here.”
He was right. You knew he was. Still, you couldn’t stop the fear that lodged in your throat as you turned back to him and said resignedly, “Okay. Take me with you.”
---
Azriel tried to keep his breathing steady as the two of you made it to the townhouse in Velaris. He knew he would have a lot of explaining to do. 
He watched your eyes widen as you took in the sight around you. Children laughing, people walking and talking, seemingly without a care in the world. A bustling city nestled between the mountains of the Night Court. 
“Where… are we?” you asked. Your voice had not yet risen to a normal volume in the short time that he had known you.
Azriel didn’t know how much to tell you. He would likely already be in hot water just for bringing you here. “The Night Court,” he said, trying to keep his voice bland. “Sort of.”
You gaped at him. 
Azriel winced as you neared the front door. “I hate to do this. But, I need you to wait out here.”
Your eyes only widened. “You’re going to leave me?” 
His heart cracked a bit at your words. “It should only be a few minutes. I told you, it’s safe here.”
You scowled, crossing your arms, but finally said, “Okay.”
Azriel nodded once, took a deep breath, and walked inside. Cassian, Feyre, and Rhysand were all in the living room. Rhys was laughing at something Feyre said. All eyes looked to you as you stepped into the threshold. 
“You’re back early,” Rhys said.
“I need to talk to you,” Azriel said to Rhysand, his voice sounding off, even to his own ears. “Alone.”
The others looked between the two of you curiously. Rhysand rose, masking his surprise, and gestured to his study.
When they were alone, Azriel didn’t know what to say, how to start. Finally, Rhysand had to say “What’s going on, Az?”
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “When I got to the Spring Court, there was a woman. Running through the woods, from a bogge.”
“Okay,” Rhys drawled.
“I saved her, obviously. But, Rhys, you should have seen her. She was terrified and alone. I think she’s from the village that Hybern attacked.” 
Rhysand raised an eyebrow. “And?”
Azriel held his gaze. “She’s my mate, Rhys.”
The High Lord swore. “You brought her here, didn’t you?”
“What was I supposed to do? She would’ve died out there.”
Rhysand nodded, processing the information. “It was a risk, bringing her here.”
“I know it was,” Azriel said, unwilling to apologize, not for saving his mate’s life.
Despite the danger Azriel had put them in, Rhysand smiled at his brother. “You found your mate.”
Azriel nodded. He hadn’t really processed the information yet.
“Does she know?” Rhys asked.
“No. She’s going through enough right now.”
Rhysand nodded again. “Just be careful. You know how it went when Feyre found out before I told her.”
“I know.” 
“So,” Rhys said, leaning against his desk. “I guess we let her stay in the House of Wind. She can find her own place later, if she wants.”
Azriel breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Really.” 
---
True to his word, Azriel was back a few minutes later. You were still shocked, trying to make sense of the day. How could this place be a part of the Night Court?
“I can take you to your room now, if you’re ready,” he said by way of greeting. 
“My room?” What, in his house? 
“Unless you want a tour of the city first? I figured you’d be tired,” he said naturally, as if he were speaking about the weather. 
You couldn’t help but gawk at him. “I get a room?”
“Yes,” he said, as if it were obvious.
“Okay,” you said cautiously. “Sure, let’s go to… my room.”
He cleared his throat, taking a tentative step toward you. “We’ll have to fly.”
You just blinked at him. Surely, he didn’t mean…?
He motioned toward you. “May I?”
Resolved, you said, “At this point, why not?” 
The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before carefully, he swept you up in his arms, glancing at your face before flapping his mighty wings, taking the two of you up over the city, toward a large mountain.
You clung to him, your stomach twisting in knots, until he landed gently on a balcony on the top of the mountain.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he set you on the ground.
You nodded, looking past him into the formal dining room inside. “Where are we?”
“This is one of the High Lord’s residences in the city. He doesn’t really stay here with us,” he said, opening the door and leading you inside. 
“Us?”
“Me and a few others that you’ll meet. His inner circle.”
Again, you felt that fear spike through your body. The High Lord of the Night Court. His inner circle. What had you gotten yourself into?
As if sensing your fear, he stopped and faced you, looking at you intently. “The stories you’ve heard… they’re not real. At least, not in the context that you think.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to form a response. But, surprisingly, you wanted to trust him, this man who saved your life. 
When he realized that you weren’t going to say anything, he cocked his head, motioning for you to follow him through the house. You silently obeyed, his heavy footsteps echoing through the empty hallways. 
Finally, he stopped before a room, shouldering the door open and gesturing for you to step inside first. It was more lavish than any room you’d seen in your village in the Spring Court. The four poster bed was huge in the center of the room. To the right was a sitting area with two chairs and a couch, cozy looking rugs, and through an open door you could see a washroom. It was more inviting than you had expected. 
“Will this be alright?” Azriel asked as you surveyed the room.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, this should be just fine.”
He smiled faintly. “I’m just a few doors down, if you need anything.”
“You’re leaving?” you asked, for the second time that day.
Hesitating by the door, he said, “I thought you’d like some time to unwind. I imagine it’s been quite a day for you.”
You nodded, but couldn’t help the pang you felt at being left alone again. Azriel was starting to feel like all you had in the world. 
After studying you for a beat, he said, “I can come back in an hour? Give you some time to settle in?”
You couldn’t stop the small smi']le that tugged at your lips. “Okay.”
---
An hour later, Azriel was knocking on your door, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. This morning, he was leaving for the Spring Court to check on how Tamlin had been handling things, and now his mate was staying a few doors down, with no idea where she was or anything about him. 
The breath was knocked right out of him as you opened the door. You had changed into leggings and a sweater, the shape of your legs on full display, your hair, slightly damp, was falling loose in ringlets over your shoulders. 
An angel, he thought. You looked like an angel. 
“I’m glad you gave me that hour,” you admitted, looking up at him from beneath your lashes. Azriel felt faint. “I haven’t had a real bath in ages.”
Clarity struck his brain again at the reminder of what you had been through, how you had been living since the attack on your home. His heart ached for you. He wanted to rip Hybern apart with his bare hands.
“Do you want the tour?” he asked, dumbly, trying to stomp down his emotions,
You agreed, and he led you through the halls, the tug in his chest dazing him. He ached to reach for your hand, to bring your body into his. How had Rhys endured all that time with Feyre, feeling like this?
As you walked through the house, you started asking questions, and Azriel answered to the best of his ability. He told you about Velaris, how secret it was, why it had been kept a secret. The Court of Nightmares, the lies they had to spin. He explained that he was the Night Court’s spymaster, explained his shadows, his shadowsinger abilities, his wings. He didn’t give a ton of details, not wanting to overwhelm you, but not wanting to lie either.
You told him of your past, too. Of your life with your family before Hybern, your cottage, your friends. None of them had survived the attack. Azriel clenched his fists as you spoke, marveling at how kind and reserved you were, despite the horrors that you had been through.
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the direction of the dining room and he winced. He would have to bring you to dinner, to face the entire group. Azriel knew that Rhys had relayed the information by now about his… guest. That was why they had all insisted on coming to dinner, to scope you out.
He felt guilty about keeping you out of the loop, that everyone would know that you were his mate. But you knew how much pressure could be put on females to give into their mates. He would never do that to you, he wanted you to have a choice. 
He would just have to wait until you were settled, until you knew that you were safe with him. 
You looked at him questioningly, and he simply said, “Are you hungry? It’s almost time for dinner.” 
“Dinner…” you trailed off, a question in your eyes.
“With everyone. Yeah.”
Your eyes widened and he couldn’t help himself. He took your hand in his like he did in the woods, what had made the bond snap into place. “It’ll be okay. They’re good people.”
You looked skeptical, but nodded, moving a bit closer to him. He swore he felt his heart miss a beat. 
Azriel led you to the dining room, still holding your hand. At the threshold of the room, you dropped his hand and stood behind him, peaking around his shoulder at the loud group. He could tell you were frightened, and wanted desperately to hold you, to take the fear away.
He cleared his throat, catching the attention of everyone in the room. He looked at his friends sternly, willing them to behave, at least for tonight, before he introduced you to them. 
You remained behind him, creeping out the littlest bit, placing your hand gently on his bicep. He looked back at you, trying to calm you down like he had in the woods. 
“Come on,” he murmured, lightly placing his hand on your arm and guiding you to your seat. You followed, your body taut. 
Azriel introduced you to Cassian, Mor, Elain, Nesta, and Amren. You stayed silent, wide eyed, no doubt realizing the power in the people around you. Finally, he gestured to Rhys and Feyre. “And this is the High Lord and Lady.”
Your eyes widened further then, taking in Feyre. “High Lady,” you murmured, in awe. 
Right. The High Lady. Feyre was the one who had tore the Spring Court apart from the inside out. Azriel hadn’t even thought of that, and watched your reaction. 
Feyre smiled at you kindly and Rhys looked extremely proud. “Honestly, that… that’s amazing. A High Lady,” you repeated. Azriel let out the breath he was holding.
“We sure think so,” Rhys smirked, his eyes sliding warmly to Feyre.
Azriel could feel some of the tension leave your body, and he nearly slumped with relief. 
Your reaction seemed to please his friends, too. Azriel couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride. 
Throughout the course of dinner, you had remained silent, your doe eyes taking in everything before you. Azriel was hyper aware of you beside him, trying to sense your every reaction. 
After dinner, Azriel walked you back to your room, pausing at the door. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“I think I’m okay,” you said. “It’s not what I expected.”
Azriel nodded. “In a good way?”
You smiled lightly up at him. He nearly fell over. “Everyone seems… normal. Like a family.”
Azriel smiled faintly. “They are. We are a family.”
Studying his face, you stayed silent for a moment. “Thank you,” you whispered.
He squeezed your shoulder gently, feeling his heart constrict at your vulnerability. “Sleep well. Come get me if you need anything, okay?”
You nodded, still smiling slightly as you went inside and gently closed the door behind you.
---
Despite your exhaustion, you lay awake, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, your mind spinning. A family. That’s what this was, all of these powerful fae in one room, the mightiest warriors, the most fearsome High Lord… talking and teasing and laughing at dinner. 
You had felt Azriel’s eyes on you, gauging your reactions. 
Azriel. He was what was truly keeping you up, you thought. The most beautiful man with the scarred hands and the siphons, you had learned, that helped him harness his unbelievable power, the apparently legendary blade at his side. And yet, the way he watched you, the way his voice changed when he spoke to you…
You couldn’t help but trust him, feeling safe next to him. He had saved your life, after all. It was that thought that was wisping through your mind as you finally drifted off to sleep. 
---
The first night in your new bed, you had slept through the night once you were finally able to sleep, too exhausted from the events of the day to be chased by monsters in your dreams. 
The second night was a different story. 
You didn’t even realize you had been screaming until scarred hands were shaking you awake, hazel eyes so close to yours, full of worry and protectiveness, saying your name over and over until your eyes cleared. 
Azriel’s fingers were rubbing soothing circles on your shoulders. “It’s okay, you’re safe. It was just a dream,” he said softly, cupping your cheek in his rough hand when you had stopped trembling.
“I’m sorry,” you croaked, tears springing to your eyes. 
He gently wiped the tears away with his thumb, not taking his eyes off you for a second. “For what?” his voice was husky from sleep.
“Waking you,” you whispered, captivated by his hands on you, his eyes swimming with emotion. 
“Don’t be sorry,” he said gently, his thumb still absently stroking your cheek. “Are you okay?”
You nodded, not trusting your voice to be audible enough for him to hear.
“Do you want -- I can stay. If you want. Until you fall back to sleep,” he said hesitantly. You hadn’t known him long, but you imagined it was rare for him to stumble over his words like this.
“You don’t have to do that,” you said quietly, though you felt your heart swell at the offer. “I appreciate it, but… I’m sure the spymaster needs sleep.”
The corner of his mouth turned up into a faint smile as he pulled back from you, settling in the armchair against the wall. “I’m used to staying up because I’m the spymaster,” he said, humor lining his voice.
“You’ve already done so much for me--”
His voice was still soft, but added a commanding edge as he cut you off. “Sleep, my lady. I don’t mind.”
You considered protesting again, but knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere. And honestly… it did make you feel better to have his comforting presence in the room, chasing away all of your invisible demons.
---
It didn’t take long for your breathing to go steady, lost in a deep sleep. Azriel couldn’t bring himself to leave you yet, though. 
The sound of your terrified shrieks ran over and over in his mind. He had been protective of people before, of course, but this. The terror he could feel radiating off of you, the tears streaming down your face, the look in your eyes before you realized where you were… his hands gripped the armrests so tightly that he worried you might not have a chair in your room tomorrow. 
He focused on you now: your peaceful face, your hair draped across the pillow, your breathing even. It calmed him down slightly, but not enough.
Azriel wanted to stay. Just to be sure that you were alright, to ensure that he would be able to stop the nightmares before they escalated this time, but he did not want to invade your privacy. He knew that you probably wouldn’t be happy to find him still sitting there in the morning. 
So, after you had been sleeping peacefully for quite some time, he dragged himself out of the chair and silently went to his own room, where he could not sleep at all, those screams rattling around in his mind.
---
Azriel stayed by your side for weeks after you arrived in the Night Court, only leaving, seemingly, when he absolutely had to. The two of you would relax in the library, raid the kitchen, wander around the streets in Velaris that seemed endless to you, in the best way. Despite everything that you had heard of the Night Court and its inhabitants, you were starting to feel at home there. Though you still were extremely intimidated by everyone except Azriel, and couldn’t imagine spending time with any one of them if he wasn’t present. 
Though you were starting to adjust to your new life, you continued to wake Azriel so consistently with your nightmares that you wondered if you should just offer to let him sleep next to you. Of course, you knew you couldn’t possibly do that. Your cheeks flushed at just the thought. Guilt gnawed at you though, for being the reason for his lack of sleep, so much so that you offered to switch rooms, somewhere further from him, but he would hear none of it. Nearly every night he came into your room, shaking you awake, then soothing you back to sleep. You couldn’t imagine how he was functioning on so little rest.
One night was particularly bad. You dreamt of the attack on your village, the bloodshed you saw, the terror you felt. You knew Azriel could sense that it was worse than usual, as he wouldn’t take his soothing hands from your arms until you had stopped trembling, which took significantly longer than it normally did. His eyes were filled with more worry than you had seen before, and when he pulled away from you, you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out and gently grabbing his wrist. 
His eyes widened a bit in surprise as he turned back to face you, but he said nothing. 
“Can you come here?” Your quiet voice cracked on the last word and his jaw ticked at the sound. 
He approached you slowly, like he didn’t want to do the wrong thing. “What can I do?” he murmured. 
“Can you -- I mean, would it be too weird…” you flushed, unable to get the words out.
Comprehension flooded his expression and you were so embarrassed that you wanted to take it all back, but then his eyes softened with so much warmth that you wanted to cry. “You want me to lay with you for a bit?”
You bit your lip. “Would you?”
The ghost of a smile. Your heart melted.
You scooched over to the far side of the bed before he settled into next to you, agonizingly slowly. He faced you, propping his cheek on his fist. “Is this okay?”
You could only nod, concealing half your face with your sheets in an attempt to hide how red your cheeks had no doubt become. The heat radiated off his body, his shadows nowhere to be found in the dim light. 
He smiled faintly as you looked at him. He murmured, “you have to close your eyes to sleep, you know.”
More heat rose to your cheeks. “You could sleep too. You don’t have to stay up and guard me.”
His smile grew. “Isn’t that literally what I’m here for?”
“You’re here for…” you contemplated how much you should tell him. “Your comforting presence,” you finally said. 
“You find my presence comforting?” he said, his voice losing that teasing note he had been using moments before.
“Of course I do,” you said, slightly mesmerized by those hazel eyes that rarely left yours.
His expression was unreadable as he studied you for another moment before laying down and murmuring, “Go to sleep.”
So, you did.
---
Azriel could not sleep.
His mate. His mate, who flooded his thoughts day in and day out, whose tug on him drove him mad every waking moment, was in bed with him. And she had no idea what she was. Or what he desperately wanted to do to her.
Your comforting presence. 
The words drifted around his mind ceaselessly. He was willing to bet that his mate was one of the only people who would ever feel that way. Most people feared him, or were at least wary of the near-silent shadowsinger.
But, his mate… 
Azriel’s eyes whipped to you as your breathing changed, ready to wake you up again if need be. He watched the rise and fall of your chest carefully, before it evened out again and he relaxed back against the mattress. 
He would have to tell you. Soon. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this, without having any idea how you felt about him. 
He thought of you, as he always did lately, when he finally drifted off to sleep. 
---
Strong arms were holding you when you awoke. Before you were fully conscious, you snuggled further into the warmth. Mother only knew how long it had been since you had felt that safe. 
It wasn’t until you heard the grumble of a sleepy male behind you that your eyes sprung open and you realized where you were. You were in your bed, faint sunlight shining through the curtains. And the shadowsinger was behind you, his arms wrapped around your middle, your bodies flush together, his breath tickling your neck. 
You were spooning. Azriel was spooning you. 
And he wasn’t awake yet.
Mother above and Cauldron save me.
Should you pull away? You didn’t exactly want to. And it had been so long since he had gotten a good night’s rest, thanks to you. 
Selfishly, you couldn’t bear to leave those arms. So, you did what any rational person would do. You pretended you were still asleep and savored the feeling of the strong warrior’s body pressed against yours.
It was a little while later when he shifted and stiffened. He was awake. 
Carefully, he untangled himself from you, backing up to where he had started the night. After a moment, you turned around, to face him, feigning grogginess. 
He was gazing at you, his expression more open than you had ever seen it. His eyes swimmed with something that looked like longing. Or maybe that’s just what you hoped it was.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, his voice gravelly from sleep. It made your toes curl beneath the sheets.
“I slept really well, actually,” you said, honestly. “Did you get to sleep?”
He nodded, his expression smoothing back to that unreadable blankness. 
“Thank you for staying,” you said softly. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Azriel’s eyes softened. “I don’t know what I would do without you, either.”
You sat up a bit, propping yourself up on one elbow. “Me? What do you mean?”
He furrowed his brow, as if he were contemplating whether to tell you something or not. 
“Is something wrong?” you asked. 
He swallowed, his jaw clenched slightly. “There’s something I should tell you.”
You just waited, gazing at that beautiful face.
Taking a deep breath, his eyes not wavering from yours, he said, “That day, when I touched you in the woods, I realized that you’re my mate.”
If you weren’t in your bed, you’re sure you would have fallen over. Your heart started pounding and you sat up fully, now very aware of the thin night clothes you were wearing. 
Azriel sat up too, studying, trying to gauge your reaction. 
“That’s why you were so adamant about bringing me with you,” you said quietly, your mind reeling. 
He nodded. “To be fair, I might have done that anyway, but… yes. I couldn’t leave you there.”
You watched his hazel eyes looking back at you. You had been right before, you could see that now. He wanted you. Longed to be close to you. 
“That’s why I feel so connected to you,” you whispered, noting that tug in your chest that is always leading you to him. “Why you always make me feel so safe.”
His expression flooded with emotion. “You really feel that way around me?”
“Of course I do. Since the very beginning,” you said, inching closer to him, so your legs were almost touching. You couldn’t quite believe it. 
Azriel was your mate. The sweet, mysterious, strong spymaster from the Night Court who saved your life. Who had given you a home.
He was your home, you realized with a start. 
“Are you…happy?” Azriel asked, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. 
He had been worried, you realized. Worried that you would be upset, or wouldn’t return his feelings. 
Without a word, you leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands, and kissed him.
You felt the relief rush through his body as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to him. You settled on his lap, straddling him, deepening the kiss. 
He moaned quietly into your mouth as he slipped his tongue inside and you tightened your grip on him, raking your nails down his back. You felt his hardness pressing against your leg, and flushed at that feeling of being wanted.
His rough hands trailed up your bare thighs, toying with the hem of your nightdress. He stopped kissing you long enough to pull back, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded, smiling, and kissed him fiercely before he slowly pulled the dress up and over your head, his eyes raking your body, now completely bare save for your underwear.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes twinkling, before he kissed sensually down your neck. Then lower and lower…
You gasped as he took your nipple in his mouth, biting gently before soothing over the peak with his tongue. 
“Azriel,” you moaned, and he growled in response, tightening an arm around your waist and flipping you onto your back, pressing your body into the mattress with his.
“You never answered my question,” he said, his voice husky, desperate. He toyed with one of your breasts while he devoured your neck, biting and licking and kissing.
“What… what was the question?” you panted, your mind spinning. 
He laughed into your skin, low and sensual, making your back arch. “Are you happy?”
You took your face in his hands, guiding him to look at you. His fingers stopped, his eyes open and yearning. “I’m home, Az. You’re my home. I’ve never been happier.”
His smile lit up his entire face, and he kissed you sweetly. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he murmured. 
He continued kissing you slowly and lovingly before the two of you got heated again. You tugged at his shirt and he helped you peel it off. He leaned against you, and you reveled in the feeling of his skin against yours, the feel of his muscled back under your fingers.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as he kissed down your body while sliding your panties down your legs, eventually settling his face in between your legs, his mouth hovering an inch from where you needed him. 
“Az,” you groaned, twining your fingers in his hair. 
You could’ve sworn you heard a soft grunt before his mouth connected with your center and you had to bite your lip to keep from screaming. 
“We’re the only ones here, you know,” he said, eyeing you mischievously, sliding a finger into you while his mouth was occupied.
“Meaning?” you panted.
He smirked, sliding another finger into you. You gasped, your back arching off the mattress. “You don’t have to be quiet,” he said, his voice velvet. 
Before you could react, he ducked his head back down, sucking hard on your clit, while pumping his fingers in and out of you. 
You couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from you, tugging at his hair, pulling him further into you.
Laughing into your skin, he splayed his free hand over your stomach to stop your squirming and continued devouring you.
Eventually, you needed more. “Azriel?” 
“Hmm?” he hummed against you, his mouth still working.
“If you don’t take your pants off right now, I might die,” you said, your voice breathy.
He finally took his mouth off you, leaning his head back and laughing louder than you’d ever seen from him. The sound was deep, filling the room. It made your heart swell.
Sliding off the bed, his eyes laser focused on you, he said “I suppose I can’t allow that, can I?” 
He held your gaze as he slowly slid his pants off. When he was naked before you, he stalked towards you, his eyes predatory. 
You gulped, trying not to show how surprised you were at the size of him.
Azriel was smirking, more smug than you’d ever seen him. He placed his elbows on either side of your head, hovering over you. “Was there something you wanted?” he teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer, but he wouldn’t budge.
You scowled at him and he grinned. “You know what I want,” you groaned.
He cocked his head, feigning ignorance. 
“You were so much nicer before,” you mumbled, still trying and failing to pull his muscled body on top of yours. 
Leaning his lips down so they were hovering just over yours, he whispered, “I want you to say it.”
Your mouth fell open. “I can’t,” you squeaked.
He smirked. “I’m your mate. You can tell me anything.”
Sighing, you looked to the ceiling, unable to look him in the eyes. “I want you.”
“You already have me,” he said, lightly nipping at your throat. “What do you want me to do?”
“Azriel.”
He laughed lightly. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to take a guess then.” 
Before you could respond, he slid into you, groaning as he did so. 
He leaned his forehead against yours, forcing you to look up at him. He gave you a moment to adjust to him, saying “Did I guess correctly?”
Biting your lip, you nodded and he grinned. 
“Ready for more?”
You groaned in response, unable to speak.
Slowly, he started moving in and out of you. The two of you moaned in unison.
He groaned, “You feel --”
“So good,” you finished, and he let out a breathy laugh, moving his hips faster. 
Azriel was gazing at you with so much love and affection as he was moving in and out of you, you could barely breathe. You placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. He smiled against your mouth, his breathing ragged. 
You couldn’t believe you had eternity to do this with your mate. 
---
Azriel did not leave your bedroom that day. Frankly, he never wanted to leave it again.
He knew he probably could’ve kept going long into the night, but he could tell that you needed a break, so the two of you had settled against the pillows. You were now asleep, your head on his chest, your fingers lightly gripping his waist. 
His heart swelled as he lightly ran his fingers through your hair, savoring the feeling of being in love and having you close to him. 
He never wanted to let go.
587 notes · View notes
reverieblondie · 3 months
Text
Seeking Advice
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Pairing: Rolan x Fem!Tav Reader
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Fluff and Smut with Plot, Oral (fem receiving), Cum eating, Horn pulling?.
Summary: Asking out your crush can be difficult, Maybe you should seek advice from your friends on how to ask out your favorite wizard?
A/N: Look...I've been playing a lot of Baldur's Gate 3. Then this guy yelled at me and I fell. I have a thing for grumpy guys what can I say. Now do not worry! I still am writing for ATSV, TASM!Peter and my love Miguel, just I think I can squeeze the bg3 fandom on my blog. Trust I have plans for for all my fictional men. Plus I am working on request! Just had to get this story out, it was rotting my brain. Hope you enjoy it! Its kinda cheesy but its what I like, sorry.
Word Count: 6,957
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The energy to the tavern is a welcomed one, All the noise you might have found irritating at a time is now a pleasant chime to your ears. How things can so easily change with time. Since becoming the city's hero many things have changed for you and your friends. The city is back to its wondrous glory. Finally, your life is starting to calm down, well for the most part… 
There is no longer a squirming in your head and the threats to the world's damnation are at the time eased, things should be perfect, and you should be happy riding an inexplicable high. You are happy for the most part, however there is just one thing that is causing you trouble now. It's the ache that swirls within you that only grows when you see him, the now master of Ramazith’s Tower, Rolan. 
The first time you felt it, it was simply a spark, harmless. It didn’t turn into this thrumming storm until the grove celebration after you defeated the goblin camp, and where he taught you his light spell. That night your fate was sealed, now as your friendship has grown you feel those glittering sparks storming through you more often. 
With a sigh, you rest your hazy head in your palm as you watch him with his siblings. The amber lights of Elfsong make his crimson skin appear as if it's glowing, he looks good in any lighting with his striking features but at this moment he looks damn near ethereal. You're acutely aware that you are staring at the trio, but in your buzzed haze from four wine goblets, you can not bring yourself to care. People are properly catching you staring like a lovesick fool; you will move your eyes eventually, you just want to watch for a bit longer. 
Rolan's journey to the city was different than yours but it was not without its hurdles, then when he got here he had to be met with the cruelty of Lorroakan. You won’t lie, you felt immense pleasure watching his spine get cracked in two for what he had done. Now with that horror over, the scars have faded and you see that Rolan is better, happier. He smiles just a bit wider and his eyes shine just a tad bit brighter. It only makes sense that the Tower and Sundries have become more successful with his influence, though you know he’s just happy that his family is now together and safe. 
Blindly you bring the metal goblet to your lips and taste the tang of the red wine nursing you through your pinning. The drink was meant to boost your confidence to go over there and shoot your shot for a date, but it only makes your head cloud into hopeless romantics. Why can’t you just ask him out? You can take on a horde of knols but you can’t bring yourself to confess to the guy you like? Doesn't get more pathetic than that…
Your eyes stay fixed on Rolan as he smirks and rolls his eyes at what Cal is saying, his clawed hand grabs his goblet and you watch as he brings the drink to his lips. Feeling looser from drinking you see as the red wine slightly escapes the side of his lips as he chugs the drink down. The deep red rolls down his jaw and you have to bite your lip from the thoughts that erupt in your mind. 
“Darling, you have got to stop staring.” 
With a sigh, you turn your head to your pale companion with a devilish smile on his face. With a roll to your eyes, you take another drink of your wine trying your best to play unbothered by Astarion as you can. 
“I wasn’t staring” 
“Tav, let's not be coy, you haven’t moved your eyes from a particular wizard since he strolled in. Sighing and squeezing your thighs together like that's going to help your ache.” 
The mentioning of the actions you thought were unnoticed makes your face blush from embarrassment. Asterion can only laugh at your fluster features as you look around the crowded tavern to see hints if others have noticed. 
“I- wasn’t, you don’t-” 
“Don’t be embarrassed, you could pick far worse. He’s a bit pompous for my taste, but the innocent little freckles on his face are pretty intriguing.” 
Astarion gives you a smirk as you whip your head to face him giving him a look of ‘back off’, though he is hardly intimated by you. 
“Relax, I am not going to take a bite out of your favorite wizard. I will leave that pleasure for you, however some advice, you won’t get him from just staring.” 
You hate to admit it but Astarion might have a point, you have been wanting to confess your feelings you just don’t know how. Looking at Rolan you rake your mind with your past chances to open yourself up but always seem to back out at the last moment, his rejecting you would be painful but being in this limbo is excruciating. You have to get your feelings off your chest for some inner peace. 
“Okay, Astarion…what's your advice?”  
Astarion's smile spreads to his lips and he sits next to you quickly, “My suggestion is you make it your mission to get that Rolan in your sheets, my dear. You obviously have had trouble getting your…” Astarion grimaces “Feelings for him out, so why not go the seductive approach?” 
You let out a laugh but Astarion just keeps his face neutral, “You think, I should seduce him? How am I supposed to do that?” 
“Simple, give him an offer he can’t refuse.”
“Yeah like what?” 
Astarion looks over at Rolan, seeming to think before his face lights up, he quickly wraps his arm around your shoulder moving your chin to face Rolan. Then he whispers in your ear, “You're going to go over to him, very calmly…place your hand on his shoulder and whisper in his ear very sweetly that you want to lick every ridge on his body.” 
Your mouth goes dry and eyes go wide at the thought…running your tongue…down…his… You blush feeling your face grow hot, so hot you think it could be radiating off you. 
“A-Astarion…I-I can’t do that…” 
“Oh, but picture it, once you're done he will be so spent he will be the one confessing to you.” 
An image of a panting Rolan looking down at you with a fist full of your hair sparks in your mind. Hells, maybe Astarion has a point…he has had plenty of experience seducing people, but you? The thought only makes it so you can’t even move. Astartion picks up on your dazed state and with a nudge he pops you from it. 
“Lucky for you there's a creature in here I have had my eyes on, so just watch and learn,” 
“Wait, you like someone?” You say it a bit shocked,
Astarion gives you a look, “Focus on your own love life, huh?” 
With that, you say quite as you watch Astarion's ruby eyes land on a particularly pretty patron. With a smirk, he grabs your goblet keeping his eyes fixed on them like a predator studying its prey. Quickly downing your drink he releases a cool and steady breath then makes his approach. He practically glides across the room to them, very carefully he starts the conversation with a smile and you can already tell the person is interested. Do they know each other?
In What seems like a quick second he is placing his hand on their shoulder and leaning down to their ear. You can only imagine what he must be saying to have their faces fluster so quickly. Nobody quite had a way with words like him. Astarion leans back up to meet their eyes where they are feverishly nodding. 
With that, he starts guiding them to the exit while turning back towards you to smirk. Well, looks like it's your turn…
Picking up your goblet you see he did finish it, okay next step. Standing you feel all the alcohol you consumed immediately go to your head, deep breath, then go. Making your way over you try to not stumble into people as you push to your destination. Keeping your eyes on Rolan you rehearse the lines in your head over and over, as you get closer. 
Rolan almost like he can sense it then flicks his eyes to you, watching as you approach. Swallowing to ease your dry throat as you continue to make your way over still keeping your nerves despite your stomach being in knots. Then his lips curl into a slight smile and you freeze…shit…looking down at your hands reality hits you suddenly, you're drunk and about to proposition him, you can’t do this…he is just going to dismiss you… the thought makes your chest ache and the feeling of your drink coming back up. 
Looking back at him he tilts his head looking at you concerned smile fading and that's when the fear of rejection rushes you. Opening your mouth you go to say anything, maybe smile at him something to mask your panic but it fails. Your lips tremble and before you know it you're rushing to the exit. 
Finding the exit you look back to Rolan, he’s up from his table and seems to be trying to make his way toward you, he looks completely confused and maybe…hurt. You can’t do this…not when you're drunk and on the verge of puking. 
With that, you're pushing out of the tavern and running off into the cool night of the city. As you're running past one of the city's allies you catch in your peripherals Astarion with that person pinned against the wall as he kisses against their neck leaving them moaning into his hand. You must have caught his attention from your running, he looks at your fleeing figure and calls out to you. 
“I guess it didn’t go well?” 
You don’t bother to give him a response, his advice might have worked for him but you're going to have to try a different tactic. 
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Note to self, do not try to drunkenly ask out your crushes, it only ends in you making an ass out of yourself and puking up all your stomach contents. Thinking back on it you can only think back on the look on Rolan's face…the confusion…the disappointment…Maybe you should go talk to him? You don’t want him to think that you're trying to ignore him. You were drunk and didn’t want to spill your guts all over him. Feeling freshly invigorated you decide that you should apologize for running off. Who knows maybe the conversion could lead to something.   
Arriving at Sorcerous Sundries you're not even fully sure if he would even be there, the tower might have been the better bet. However, your guess is shown to be a good one when you see Rolan placing some tomes on the shelves. Gods, you could watch him work for hours…his dexterous hands placing everything so carefully. As you watch you think you almost see his tail wag before he’s fixing it down. The smile it causes to your face can’t be helped, though he is always so composed he still slips at times. 
As you watch Rolan work you have the oddest sensation come over you that you too are being watched. Turning your head you jerk back slightly in surprise seeing that Lae’zel’s yellow eyes are piercing into you with her trademark intensity. It’s quite odd that she is in here, she's not one for spells but as you're looking past her you see that Shadowheart is with her thumbing through a tome. That makes more sense, you're happy those two have become better friends. Especially since they did try and kill each other. 
Smiling you give Lae’zel a smile with a wave, she only narrows her eyes more at you as you move to go talk to Rolan. Approaching his tall figure you're taking in every inch of him. 
He's beautiful, from face to physique, you watch as the muscles from underneath his robes flex from his movements. It’s funny wizards are not known for their strong builds but Rolan's arms and back are a dead giveaway to his hidden strength. Looking up you trace down the length of his horns to where they disappear into his soft chestnut hair, twisted in that half-up style. You wonder if you two get closer in the way you hope he will let you play with his hair, it appears so tantalizing and soft…everything about him is tantalizing… 
In your approach your mind is running through a quick daydream of running your fingers along his horns and through his hair; it causes you not to pay attention to where you are stepping. With the perfect explanation for the night at Elfsong in your mind, you're ready to smooth things over with him. Just as you're reaching out you suddenly see Rolan's shoulders shoot up teasing like something just hit him. Confused you lean forward more but that's when you feel it, something is wiggling under your foot.  
Looking down you see that your boot is crushing his poor tail underneath your weight. Mortified, you quickly step off of it. Karlach had told you how sensitive her tail was when she yelped when someone sat on it, so having it crushed underneath a boot sure is not a great feeling. Rolan's back stays teased as he turns slowly, his tail swiftly moving away from you to go to his hands. His eyes look as if he could thunder wave you out of the building. 
“I-I am so sorry Rolan, I- I didn’t see your tail.” you ramble out as quickly as possible
“How do you not see the appendage handed down from my-!” Rolan stops his yelling and takes a breath, his hands tightening on his tail. There is now a mark from where you stepped and you feel even worse. 
“Here let me-” Reaching out for his tail you are quickly stopped by Rolan holding up his hand and shaking his head. Rolan tail in hands starts walking away mumbling a language you don’t know. 
“I’m sorry!” You call out to his fleeing figure as he ascends the stairs. 
Running your hands down your face, your intentions of apologizing to him for Elfsong completely disappear as you make yourself look like a complete ass again to him. Looking through your fingers you see that not only is Lae’zel still staring at you but now Shadowheart has joined her in watching your screw-up. You make your way over to them with your head down silently standing with them as Shadowheart keeps at her browsing. 
After a couple of moments, you see Rolan coming back down to the shop, his eyes meet yours. A part of you thinks you should go back over to him and apologize but you don’t want to annoy him further so you give him an apologetic wave. Rolan just huffs slightly with a nod before turning his back to you to get back to work. Leaning against the shelved wall you let out a long sigh.
“What am I going to do…”
“You mean about your crush on the new master of the tower?” 
You turn your head to stare at Shadowheart for her comment but she doesn’t even bother lifting her eyes away from the spines of the tomes. 
“How…what…” 
Lae’zel cuts in “Your lusting is obvious, sighing with your head in the sky with your pathetic pinning,” -wow ouch…   
A stray giggle leaves Shadowheart and you're quick to narrow your eyes at her as she bites her lip to silence herself. Crossing your arms you look back at Lae’zel 
“I am probably going to regret this, but Lae’zel what is your advice? How should I go about asking Rolan out then?”
The question is intriguing enough to make Shadowheart put her tome down and look at Lae’zel as well. Lae’zel rolls her eyes for a second before folding her arms and moving her fierce gaze to where Rolan is now helping out a customer. Lae’zel eyes narrow at him, sizing him up as she studies him before she turns back to you with a huff.
“I would not ask, I would grab that teeth-ling by the horns and command him to do as I say.”  The direct advice makes Shadowheart burst into laughter drawing attention from people near you, though you can’t seem to meet their eyes because you're too busy giving Lae’zel a confused look. 
“I don’t think that would work with him…” 
“Tis’k, you do not know this unless you try. Now go grab him by the tail and mount him forming a flesh bond with your desired.”  
You're staring at Lae’zel gobsmacked while Shadowheart practically rolls on the floor with laughter. 
“Lae’zel! I can’t just mount him!” you whisper yell at her. 
“I don’t know, she might have something to the direct approach” Shadowheart soothes
You glare at her “Oh you're done laughing on the floor?” She smirks with a shrug, absolutely no help. 
“Fine, I will gather him for you.” -what?
Lae’zel starts going towards Rolan but you are quick to grab her and drag her out. As the puzzled patrons watch you carry out the githyanki fighter cussing you in her native tongue with Shadowheart trailing behind you, smirk on her face. You try to rush out as quickly as you can mortified that Rolan might be seeing the display. 
Once outside you put her down with an apology, Shadowheart quickly places a hand on Lae’zel’s shoulder to prevent her from cutting off your head. “Why not try talking to the guys for advice? Maybe they can give you the male perspective on things.” Shadowheart offers. 
Thinking for a moment you find that she might have a point, it might help to ask the guys for some advice.
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Piercing your lips you study the smiling wizard in front of you waiting for your question. 
“Actually Gale I don’t know if I should ask you for advice on this.” 
Gale's face changes from a smile into hurt then moves to irritation, “Wh- and why not?” he practically huffs. 
“Because the last time you tried to get a person to like you you ended up with a bomb in your chest.” 
“Magic orb…” he mutters while Wyll laughs, nearly choking on his wine. 
“Okay, Tav what advice are you needing? We can try our best to help aid you.” Wyll smooths out the tension of the room. 
“Well…the thing is I need some advice on asking someone out. I figured our most intelligent and most charismatic party members would have some great advice.” 
Wyll and Gale look at each other like they can detect each other's thoughts before they turn back to you “You're talking about asking out Rolan aren't you?” 
You purse your lips and narrow your eyes at the duo, “Who told you I was coming?” 
“Astarion and Shadowheart, they sang like canaries. Told us about your ...Mishaps” Gale says somewhat sing-songy. 
Sure he might have gotten a bomb in his chest but at least he got some for the goddess… And Wyll Mr. Prince Charming, half the girls in the city who were in love with him and his fancy footwork. Hopefully, they will have some good advice. You watch as the two men start pacing along rubbing their chins deep in thought. You appreciate they are taking this so seriously for your sake. 
“So have you at least tried? Asking him out? I know you two are pals but have you ever eluded to it.” 
You give Wyll an unamused look “Yeah I tried, but then something horrid goes wrong, I’m either stepping on his tail or about to puke.” 
Wyll nods trying to understand, “Maybe you could try to do an action, like an impromptu dance at the tavern between friends? The music is plentiful, and as you two sway along the music you can tell him with your eyes.” 
You watch as Wyll mimics the swaying of a dance keeping intense eye contact with you, but Gale comes behind him and places a hand on his shoulder stopping him. “Don’t think that will work with Rolan, he's….kinda dense…” 
Gale then lights up with the idea, “Why not ask him for some magic lessons? He can show you the ways of the weave and as you two flow through it, you can send him your thoughts.” 
You think for a moment, you have had him teach you magic before but…that was at the grove…and things were different. You hold that memory when he taught you his trick dear and you're about to agree to it. But you stop…if Rolan rejects you during that…it would ruin that spell for you forever…
“Yeah…he's a strict teacher…can we think of something else…Something that can explain how I feel but I don’t have to choke over the words too.” 
Gale and Wyll sit and think for a minute, then Wyll is snapping his fingers with an idea, “Why don’t you write him a letter!” 
You look at Wyll a bit skeptical, “A letter?” 
“Now that's the way to a wizard's heart, through the written word. Grand idea Wyll! Plus that helps with your shyness you can just hand him the letter! No conversion required!” Gale praises. 
You think for a moment, writing isn’t exactly your thing but it might be your only option left. Plus you're sure Gale and Wyll will help you through it! With a nod, you give them the okay and Gale is already conjuring up some paper and quill. They sit themselves on both sides of you and help you get through your thoughts. You thought it would be best to keep some more private feelings to yourself. They both seemed to be rather…really into letter writing, Gale helped fill the letter with praise of Rolan's grandeur with magic. While Wyll helps you spruce it up with flourishes about how your heart dances for him. It turned out a bit cheesy but Wyll and Gale seemed to have a good time. Maybe they should start a poetry club? 
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Letter in hand you pace outside the shop, the letter was a great idea when Gale and Wyll were helping you write it but now… Now that you're here to give it to Rolan you're finding that familiar nervousness is eating away at you again. Peeking through the door you see that Rolan isn’t in the shop. It just seems to be his hologram today…Perfect! Now all you have to do is place it on the front desk for him to find later. That way if he isn’t into it you won’t have to meet his rejection immediately. The thought of Rolan looking at the letter and frowning pops into your mind, but you shake it off. Just place it down…easy…
“Tav! Hey!” 
Pausing you Turn around and see Karlach running towards you waving with a huge smile on her face. This is not good… It's not that you don’t want to see Karlach, she is amazing and you two have become incredibly close. The reason that this isn’t good is that Karlach isn’t exactly…subtle… Karlach is a complete badass but when it comes to love and romance she is a complete softie gushing about it to everyone. Wyll had told her about a crush of his one time and she had gushed about the story to anyone who would listen. It’s truly sweet that she loves love so much and gushes about her friends' conquest, but you're trying to be subtle here, placing the letter then leaving quickly, if Karlach finds out about it she's going to give you being here away.  
“Hello soldier, what are you doing loitering around Sundries? Waiting for someone?”
“Oh, no no…I just have this letter to give Rolan.” 
“Oh! What's it about?”  
“Just some questions about…spells…and curses…if he can detect the traces of the magical…What are you doing?” you quickly change the subject not being able to think of a good lie. 
“I was just at the Forge of the Nine catching up with Dammon, I had found some good iron ingots and wanted to give them to him, he could use them more than me anyways…” -oh Karlach you cutie
Karlach looks into sundries and appears to be looking around a bit, her smile slowly dies away before she turns back to you, “Well, I think you're out of luck soldier, Rolan doesn't seem to be around.”
You shrug trying to seem as unfazed as possible, “That's fine, I will just leave it on the front desk.”
“Or you could give it to-”
“No! No the desk will work, I mean…it’s important but he will find it.” you quickly interject. 
Karlach looks at you somewhat confused before she shrugs with a smile and follows you in. Finally, through the doorway, you quickly make your way to the desk and you feel…good! Finally one of your plans is going to work and you have Gales and Wyll's advice to thank! Maybe if this all goes well you will treat them to a drink at Elfsong. You will finally get your feelings off your chest, sure…it’s not exactly how you envisioned, but all the other attempts failed, this is easy and mess-free. 
Right as you reach the desk, something tells you to look up. Looking up you see Rolan descending the stairs wrapped up in whatever tome he is reading. He hasn’t seemed to notice you however so maybe you can just drop the letter and run-
“Hey Rolan! What udder luck, Tav has a letter for you!” -shit
Rolan looks away from his tome, eyes seeming to widen when he sees you and Karlach. You feel all the blood rush to your face as his eyes meet yours, you can’t quite tell if he is pleased to see you or not, kinda of appears to be…annoyed…or surprised? Damn that handsome studious face! 
Your hands tighten on the letter, you go to quickly place it on the desk and rush out but in the blink of an eye, the letter is out of your hand. Instead of it being in your hand or on the desk it's in Karlach’s hand as she is going towards the stairs…to Rolan…going to hand it to him! Oh, hells!
Rushing over to her you quickly snatch the letter from her hand. Karlach seems taken aback by your action, “Hey? What the fuck?” 
Karlach tries to take the letter back after you rudely snatched it. “Tav isn’t this for him?” 
“Uh…Yeah, but I changed my mind…”
“Changed your mind? But you said it was important?” 
Karlach goes to take the letter from you again but this time it is not so easy to take from your hand. Now in the middle of Sundries, you and Karlach are having a tug of war over a letter while Rolan looks at you two trying to piece together what is going on. With some quick moves on your part, you're able to shoulder check Karlach, not knocking her over by any means but just enough to cause her to loosen her hold slightly. 
Feeling successful you smile to yourself that you were able to get it back, but when you look back at Karlach your smile fades. Her eyes are narrowed and you see the hints of flames starting to spark around her, she looks pissed and you are about to get it. Looking up you see Rolan at the bottom of the stairs approaching you with a very irritated look, it makes sense you did have a fight in the middle of his shop. 
Shoving the letter down your pocket you do the thing that you only seem to know how to do nowadays, run. 
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“Ohhhh…..so you wrote him a love letter….” 
“Yeah…I wanted to just leave it on his desk but…that didn’t work out….” 
You and Karlach sit on the stone wall looking out into the city watching the sunset. Of course, when you ran off she chased you down and demanded an explanation. You gave your explanation and that's how you are here now pouring your heart out to her. 
“Tav, I think you're going about this all wrong.”
“Oh? How do you figure?” 
“Well sure everyone giving their advice is nice but…I think you should just do what feels right to you. Instead of worrying about what he will say just…just stop being so scared and talk to him. Be honest. All these games, and trying to be sneaky isn’t how to do it. ” 
You take in her words for a moment before you speak, “So…you're telling me Lae’zel had the best advice? Being direct?” 
Karlach laughs “What I am saying is stop being so in your head Tav. Instead of talking to everyone else about this, just go talk to him. I promise it will be best that way.” 
“When should I do it?” 
Karlach hums then shrugs “Fuck if I know. Maybe it will just hit you.”
A smile spreads to your lips and you nod your head “Thanks Karlach, that...that's some really good advice…” 
Karlach smacks your back, basically knocking the air out of you. “Don’t worry I am here for all your relationship advice needs!” 
“So, how's Dammon?” you say coyly
“Oh don’t even start.” 
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Laying in bed you think about all the advice your friends gave you and how all the advice had turned out. Why does this have to be so hard….
Looking outside you see how late it is, people all around are either asleep or going home to rest but as you lay you listen to the stillness of the city. Then your thoughts go back to Rolan. How you ache to be held in his arms…to get to look into those golden eyes on a dark still night like this. To talk to him about everything and nothing as his fingers gently caress your skin. You know you would so easily melt under his touch. How it would comfort you, how you want to comfort him. 
Rising from your warm bed you go to look out into the night of the city. With a click, you open the window and are met with the shivering cold of the night. A chill runs through you as you lean out and admire the star-dusted sky. For some reason, your thoughts go back to the night of the grove celebration. Rolan was being teased by his siblings as he focused on his fireworks show. They didn’t seem to be impressed but you clapped for him, before he gave some response about adoring fans there was a moment in his dark eyes where those golden fires shined just for you. That's when the glittering flickers within you started to storm. At the time you thought it was maybe residue from the magic, but now you know better. 
Holding your hands out into the still night you mimic the moves that Rolan taught you after a few goblets of wine after he got more comfortable around you or maybe just got tired of your begging. As you gesture you feel the fluttering of magic down your arms to your hands, motioning your arms up you release the spell. You used to call it just simple fireworks. Though after that night it now has a new name for both of you; Rolan’s Fire
“What are you calling it?” 
“Rolan’s Fire. You have to admit it has a nice ring to it.” 
The bursting lights grow in a flash then dim in a beautiful marriott of colors and white light. The elegance of the spell always fit him and it never failed to fill you with warmth, but now you still feel the bite of the cold despite how many memories of him you conger or how many times you spill the lights from your hands. 
“Just talk to him…” Karlach's words echo in your mind. Of course, it’s that simple, but would it be enough? Could you even be able to articulate how he sends sparks through you? Would he want you to? Or would he want something different…Clenching your fist hard, your mind running rampant with thoughts, with advice, with what you should do. Then finally you come to your decision. 
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The cold air stings your face as you run down the dark streets. With every step, your mind screams how this is crazy but your heart urges your tired feet forward. Running as fast as your legs can take you, the city and the few late-night pedestrians blur beside you as your eyes keep forward to one goal. Ramazith’s Tower. 
Running up to the tower you don’t even give yourself a minute to catch your breath before banging on the doors with all your might. You know you won’t be able to rest until you finally settle this with him. Rolan needs to know, you need to know so you can function again. The pinning of your heart has thoroughly consumed you, it’s time. If only this damn door would open! 
The frustration you feel gets released as you beat against the door, 
“Stop beating against that damn door!” 
The voice sounds rough with sleep but still has that formal tone you have grown to listen for, to adore…
The door swinging open you immediately feel those sparks. His hair, usually tied back so precisely is knotted back in a messy rush, he looks surprised to see you. His handsome face contorted to scrunch in confusion at your slummed body still trying to catch your breath. Staring at him in this state is not helping you catch your breath in the slightest. 
Rolan's chest, usually concealed underneath his robes, is now exposed showing off his toned chest covered in those defining ridges that decorate his red skin. Unable to help yourself, your eyes follow the trail of his ridges to his abs then the simple trousers that are keeping the rest of him from you. 
“Tav?” his voice is laced with concern before it's going back to his usual irritated one. “What are you doing here? Going to act like a lunatic then run off again?” Rolan steps closer “What's been going on with you? I thought we were friends and you keep avoiding me! So what is it now that is so damned impor-”
“Rolan, how do I ask you out?” you interrupt while still trying to catch your breath. 
“Wh-What?” Rolan's dark eyes are wide, any trace of sleep has been knocked out of him by your question. 
Pushing past him you walk into the tower. The tower has usually been lit up when you have seen it before, but now it's dark and intimidating. Turning to look at Rolan he still has that shocked look on his face. You know your question is sudden, but you couldn’t think of anything else. Nervously you begin rambling. 
“Look, I know it’s a sudden question but I don’t know what else to do. I have asked everyone for advice, and I just can’t seem to do any of it right. So might as well just ask the source right? Because all the stuff I have tried I choke, or Im making a complete ass out of myself. So please, just tell me…so I can do it and get this…nonning ache out! I know the reject-” 
During your pacing rant, you feel hands cupping your face gently, slowly they raise your head to have you meet his golden eyes. All the words die off in your throat, Rolan’s is staring at you so intensely. With him so close you take in the details of his horns, the freckles peppering his red skin. The feeling of his hands warming your skin, you want to stay like this forever but you just wish you knew what he was thinking. 
“Rolan I-” 
“Quiet.” 
Rolan’s command instantly silences you. The sparks you have been feeling are erupting into a storm of excitement that rushes through you. His thumbs carefully brush against your skin only making you lean in closer. Rolons eyes glow in the darkness, you want to tell him how they set you on fire but right as you're parting your lips Rolan dips down and presses his mouth to yours. His soft lips make all your thoughts melt away. The thundering sparks are bursting into a warmth throughout your body. Rolan’s Fire…
Slowly as he keeps guiding your lips with a growing intensity, then carefully you feel your body being guided back. Once you feel your back meet the wall you break the kiss with a gasp, but it's only a quick second before his lips are pressing to yours once more. Rolan's hands slide down from your jaw to your hips bringing them closer to press against himself. A soft moan leaves your chest when you feel the hardness of his arousal straining against you. 
Rolan slips his tongue between your lips to taste you, the deepening of the kiss causes you to tighten your thighs feeling yourself getting wetter with each pass of his tongue. Your hands find a place on the hard ridges on his warm chest, as you trace over them slowly you feel him groan into the kiss. Then Rolan breaks the and his warm breath fans over your ear as he speaks.
“Ask me now.”
The words barely register in your foggy mind as you feel Rolan slipping his hands underneath your shirt. 
“What?” You can hardly manage the word, your shaky breath makes Rolan lean into your neck with a smile and a kiss, slowly he drags his soft lips against your skin sending shivers of excitement through you. Then his voice is back in your ear purring his words to you. 
“Ask me out again…tell me what you want…please…I need to hear it.” 
The hands underneath your shirt find your breasts and crease them as you stumble a moan trying to find your words. 
“Rolan…” 
“Yes?”, he whispers as he strips your shirt from you. His eyes roam over all your curves before he leans into your exposed chest, palming and lightly teasing at your sensitive skin. 
“I want you in every way possible…I..want you,” you practically cry as you feel him move from your chest to sink lower, sliding his lips against your stomach. Once reaching the hem of your pants he tugs down your pants, rolling your pants and underwear down carefully exposing your wet sex.  
Kneeling now you feel his lips press against your hips causing you to arch them forward. Shaky hands slide up the back of your thighs, suddenly you feel one of your legs being lifted to hook over his shoulder. Heart beating out of your chest you look down to see his eyes are already on you as he waits patiently on one knee. His eyes are completely blown with desire and you can feel the anticipation in his shaking touch as he rubs his hand on the outside of your thigh. 
“Go out with me?” you ask desperately. 
“Gods yes,” he groans before pressing his face into your folds, his hot tongue quickly finds your clit nudging and licking against the bundle making you throw your head back in a sharp gasp. 
Rolan being a quick learner latches onto your swollen bundle, sucking and twirling his tongue against it. The sudden stimulation has a moan escaping you then quickly your hand comes down to grasp one of his horns, holding on desperately as you watch him ravishingly pleasure you. 
Rolan's eyes widen then roll back as your grip gets tighter on his horn. The groan he releases from the sensation vibrates through you, tightening the coil in your stomach. The slick from your quivering slit is rolling down his chin. Moving slightly he laps his tongue to taste more, Adjusting so his perfect nose is rubbing against your clit. His tongue breaching your insides makes you grab both horns as you pull him in closer. You moan his name like a prayer as you ride against his face. 
The more you tug on his horns the more he groans, he can't help but grasp hard on your behind making you whine more as his nails dig into you. Your stomach starts to suddenly tighten more as his velvet tongue finds the sweet stop within you. 
“There! Fuck there! D-Don't, Ah!” you push your hips off the wall but he's quickly pushing them back against it to keep you still.  
Keeping his eyes on you, he watches as the hot wave of pleasure rushes through you. Clasping your hand over your mouth you moan and shake as your orgasm hits. Rolan eagerly licks and sucks up your release as you ride out your high. 
Finally coming down from it Rolan starts to move away from your spent cunt, though before he's moved away completely he gives a quick nip to your clit making you let out a sharp whine. 
Body feeling feverish you lean and brace yourself against the wall, trembling and breathing heavily. Rolan rises from his kneel and you watch in awe as a mix of your arousal and his spit glistens against his perfect face. He brings his hand to wipe his face, his eyes flicking down at you as he smiles then licks up the residue from his fingers. 
“Meet me at Elfsong tomorrow night?” 
Stars in your eyes you nod absentmindedly at him, “Yes…” 
Gods you can’t wait for tomorrow…
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omgrachwrites · 10 months
Text
My Oh My (Mattheo Riddle)
Mattheo Riddle x Potter!Reader
Request: Do you do song based requests? I was hoping for a Matthew Riddle x potter!Reader based on the song My oh my and/or Shameless from Camila Cabello. You are so good at writing that tension in between characters that shouldn't be together but want to break that forbidden love trope lol - anon
Warnings: fluff, swearing, mentions of sex, wolfstar being adorable
A/N: I hope this is okay anon! Hope you guys all enjoy, I love you all! xxx
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You crept along the silent corridors, hoping to Merlin that you wouldn’t get caught by a ghost, or Mrs Norris for that matter. You would have stolen the Invisibility Cloak if Harry wouldn’t miss its absence, you did always have to remind him that your dad had told you to share it but he wouldn’t listen.
It was well past midnight so it wasn’t likely that anybody was going to be in the Common Room. You grinned as you recalled your earlier activities and your knees almost weakened.
They say he likes a good time (My, oh my) He comes alive at midnight (Every night)
You whispered the password, apologising to The Fat Lady for waking her up and you crept through the portrait hole.
“Where have you been?” a quiet voice came from beside the fireplace making you jump.
“Fuck, Harry!” you swore at your older brother and sighed as he waited for you to answer his question, “I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk,” the lie rolled of your tongue so easily that it surprised you.
Harry nodded, your answer seemed to satisfy him, “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he sighed as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “Hermione woke up and you weren’t there so she panicked. Then, I panicked,” he chuckled, “I was just about to come and look for you.”
Guilt twisted in your stomach as you smiled weakly at Harry, “you don’t have to worry about me Harry, I promise. I’m gonna go up to bed, night Harry.”
“Night, Y/N,” he smiled as you went up to bed. You went to bed feeling like the worst person in the world.
The morning dawned bright and early, and you were walking a little bit behind your friends as you all walked down to the carriages. You were still feeling guilty about the night before so you were keeping your distance. You felt a cold hand wrap around your wrist and you were pulled into the nearest broom cupboard.
“What the fuck?!” you yelped, rolling your eyes when you came face to face with the cocky Slytherin. The same Slytherin that you had shared the previous night with.
My mama doesn't trust him (My, oh my) He's only here for one thing But (so am I) Yeah
A little bit older A black leather jacket A bad reputation Insatiable habits
“Hello, darling,” he grinned, his hands coming up to grip your waist, “I wanted to see you before we all go home for the summer.”
“Well, you’ve seen me, Mattheo,” you laughed as he rolled his eyes, “people will get suspicious if we’re in here for much longer.”
“You will write to me this summer, won’t you?”
You cupped his cheek, trailing your fingers across the scar that he’d received from duelling, “I’ll try,” you promised.
He nodded at your answer before leaning in to kiss you, you kissed him back gently, your fingers digging through his curls. As he pulled away he bit his lip and looked away from your face, “I like you, y’know.”
You laughed at the flush that spread across his cheeks, “I like you too.”
Your friends weren’t that far ahead so it didn’t take long for you to catch up with them, “are you alright, Y/N?” Ron asked.
“Yeah, all good,” you nodded, slightly out of breath, laughing when he slung an arm over your shoulders.
It was a couple of weeks into summer when you walked into the kitchen and heard Harry whining to your mum, “why do me and Y/N have to come though?”
“Oh no, where are we going?”
Your mum looked at you with a sigh as if talking to Harry exhausted her, you knew the feeling, “we’re going to The Three Broomsticks for dinner tonight.”
“What, why?”
“Because,” Lily rolled her eyes, “Sirius wants us to meet his new partner.”
“What’s the point in that when they’re just gonna break up in a couple of months?” since your mum and dad had been in school Sirius held a torch for Remus, but he’d never said anything. Sirius’ relationships barely lasted 6 months.
“That’s exactly what I said,” your dad laughed as he walked into the kitchen.
Lily sighed but you could tell that she was trying not to laugh, “don’t encourage them, James.”
When you and your family arrived at The Three Broomsticks you noticed Sirius and Remus sitting at the table. There was no one else there and they looked pretty nervous, “do you think…?” you trailed off, looking at Harry.
Harry shook his head, “nah, they definitely would have told us by now,” you nodded but you knew first hand that that wasn’t always the case.
As you walked over to the table, Sirius smiled up at you all in greeting and you sat down, “so, everyone knows Remus, obviously,” he laughed and Remus offered everyone a little wave like you hadn’t known him for all your life.
“Does this mean that you guys are together?” Harry asked what everyone else was thinking and when Sirius nodded, your heart leapt for joy. Two people who you loved more than anything had finally found each other, you couldn’t think of anything better.
Your mum and dad whooped, “yes! Wolfstar is real!”
Remus laughed, looking relieved that everyone was taking this so well, “what the hell is Wolfstar?”
Lily flushed as she looked at James, “it was our ship name for you in school, we’re so glad that you guys are together!”
Sirius grinned, “thanks guys!”
“First round is on me,” James grinned, “come on, Y/N, you can help me.”
“Oh, dad!” you whined as you followed him to the bar.
You didn’t notice the bartender until he came to take your order, “what can I get for you?”
You froze when you realised it was Mattheo behind the bar, he stared at you in turn, his blue eyes widening. Your dad put the order in and when he wasn’t paying attention, you leaned over the bar to speak to Mattheo.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
He shrugged as he poured the pints, “thought I’d keep myself busy,” he hissed, “since the only person I want to speak to won’t reply to my letters.”
You bit your lip, you really did feel bad about that one, it had been a jam packed summer already, you hardly had any time to write secret little love letters, “Theo…” you trailed off as your dad paid for the drinks and Mattheo shook his head at you.
As Remus explained how Sirius finally had the guts to tell him how he felt, you couldn’t help but watch the handsome boy behind the bar as he walked from customer to customer with cat like grace. He grinned at a little old woman and spent a lot of time speaking with her, you wished you could hear what he was saying. You liked him like this, it always seemed as though he had to put up a front in school, you wished he could be himself but you supposed you couldn’t blame him, considering who his father was.
Unfortunately, you weren’t as subtle as you thought because your mum saw you looking at him, “who’s that behind the bar?”
“A boy from school,” you muttered, taking a sip of your Butterbeer.
“He’s Mattheo Riddle. Voldemort’s son,” Harry blurted out.
“Harry!” you hissed.
Lily scowled as she eyed him curiously over her wine glass, “he looks like trouble, I hope you’re staying away from him, Y/N.”
“Of course mum.”
When you spotted Mattheo going outside, you made excuses about how you wanted to get some fresh air as you followed him out. You found him leaning against the wall, lighting a cigarette, “those things will kill you, y’know,” you giggled.
“Among other things,” he blew out some smoke, not looking at you.
“Theo,” you sighed walking towards him, “I’m sorry that I haven’t been writing to you.”
Mattheo sighed as he looked at you, touching your cheek, “I understand, you have to protect yourself.”
“I’m not trying to protect myself, I’m trying to protect you! Do you what my parents would do to you if they found out about us? Not to mention my brother.”
Mattheo smirked at you, his blue eyes surprisingly bright in the dark of the night, “trying to protect me huh?” he grinned when you nodded, “I lied by the way, when I told you that I liked you. I meant to say that I really like you,” he flushed and you marvelled at how something like this could embarrass him, after all you would together in The Room of Requirement.
“I really like you too.”
Mattheo flicked away his cigarette as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as he leaned in to kiss you. You sighed against his lips, tasting the mint of his gum and the smoke from his cigarette, it was an intoxicating taste.
He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe Yeah, I said, "If you kiss me I might let it happen"
I swear on my life that I've been a good girl Tonight, I don't wanna be her
He pulled away from you slightly, resting his forehead against yours, “a forbidden, secret romance is actually pretty sexy, Y/N,” he smirked.
“You’re such a prick,” you laughed as you pulled him in for another kiss.
2K notes · View notes
iheartcake123 · 5 months
Text
yeong-hu x f! reader
warnings: contains some spoilers from S2 Sweet Home
a/n: this fic will contain certain parts which happened in S2 but won’t be 100% accurate!! also i had to write a fic about this man, he IS husband material + if any of you have read my other fics you know how much i suck at endings so im sorry about this ending🤣 i hope you enjoy it either way though!!
Masterlist
everyday was the same thing, wake up, stand in line for roll call and do your part to help with the survival of the group. the crow platoons ensured safety but supplies were running low.
before everything happened, you were a doctor and had served some time in the military as a doctor too. you kept that second part a secret though. you refused to get involved with the crow platoon in that aspect. they were usually looking to get more people with military experience to join them.
you were quite happy just being like everyone else and doing doctor duties when people really needed it. supplies were always low for what you did and you found yourself just making do with anything.
the morning started like all others. people doing little things they were assigned to do. then the announcement for roll call was made and you lined up with everyone. the crow platoon were going on an expedition for more supplies.
everyone stood in line as members of the crow platoon did their checks. they needed to make sure everyone was accounted for before they left.
you were stood with yeong-su and jin-ok. yeong-su had a baseball in his hand and was throwing it up and down.
“you should stop before they see” you told yeong-su to which he rolled his eyes and continued throwing his ball, that was until he dropped it.
the sound of the ball rolling seemed to be the only sound until it came to a stop. it had hit the shoes of one of the crow platoon soldiers. the soldier u-seok picked the ball up and yeong-su started to get upset.
“give it back to me! give it back!” yeong-su complained trying to reach up and grab the ball but the soldier held it higher.
suddenly, then the soldier grabbed a hold of yeong-su’ arm and held it in place.
“when did he get this scar?” u-seok questioned.
“it’s from last night” jin-ok chimed in and began to hold onto yeong-su.
“it looks fresher than that” u-seok tightened his grip on the young boy.
“sir, it doesn’t seem serious” the other soldier chan-young said looking between the two.
“what would you know about it? we have to be sure” u-seok then took out his knife and tried to cut yeong-su.
“just. just let him go. he’s just a child..ok?” jin-ok held yeong-su protectively.
“kids can be monsters too. there’s no exceptions”
“then let jin-ok do it herself” you stepped forward and jin-ok nodded profusely.
“yes, i’ll do it myself” jin-ok addded.
“you should’ve done it last night” the soldier then tried to cut yeong-su.
before he could make contact with the young boys skin, you stopped him. you stood forward and held onto the knife. your hand wrapped around the sharp blade and you did a manoeuvre to get the knife from the guard.
you held the knife up to his throat, your hand was covered in blood but you didn’t care. u-seok was acting like an ass and needed to be taught a lesson.
“maybe you should start doing your job properly and focus on more important things like getting more medical supplies rather than picking on a little kid” you said through grit teeth putting the knife down.
“you think you’re so tough huh?” u-seok snatched the knife from you and then latched his hand onto your top.
“sir, we have other important matters” chan-young tried to step in.
“you finish up here, im taking this one to sarge. then we’ll see if she has anything more to say”
you then found yourself being dragged with full force through the various halls. u-seok kept his grip on you and even though you tried to push him away from you, it was no use.
eventually, you reached the area where the crow platoon gather together and get set up for their expeditions. the room was full of some of the other soldiers
“let go of me asshole!” you cursed at him and he then threw you to the floor.
you landed on the cold floor and winced slightly as you tried to get up. you hand was still bloody and sore from earlier.
“what’s this?” sergeant kim (yeong-hu) walked in, his eyes focused to you.
“sarge, this one here managed to get a hold of my knife and held it to my throat. she’s definitely hiding something!” u-seok said loudly.
“this isn’t how we treat people u-seok. doesn’t matter what they’ve done” yeong-hu walked up to you and held his hand out.
you glared at him before getting up yourself. you didn’t need his hand.
“i haven’t done anything wrong. your poor excuse of a soldier u-seok picked on a little kid today. so all i did was tell him to focus on more important things like getting more supplies. especially medical supplies” you defended yourself and decided to speak your mind. “we have sick people and they need treatment. honestly i haven’t seen anything this bad ever since i served-“
you soon stopped yourself after realising you had just exposed yourself. god, you only hoped he wasn’t listening to that last part.
“served? are you telling me that you used to be in the military?” yeong-hu folded his arms and you meekly nodded.
there was no use lying now.
“go get ready” yeong-hu told you firmly and you raised an eyebrow.
“for what?” you questioned. why did you have to get ready.
“just get ready and then we’ll talk…?” he looked at you and you said your name.
“y/n…” he then said before brushing you aside and turning to his men “everyone we leave in five minutes. be ready.”
you now found yourself sat in the backseat of a military truck with yeong-hu and one of his other men named seok-chan in the front. your hand was now wrapped too and you had your bag with you. your own personal knife hiding in the front pocket just in case.
“where are you going to take me?” you questioned.
“you suggested that we need more medical supplies, you must know where we can find some” yeong-hubanswered while looking at a map in his hands. he didn’t bother looking at you.
you were being weary. what if he was lying? but also why would they bring you? you could’ve just marked a map up for them.
you remained silent as you waited for some of the other soldiers of crow platoon to get into the other vehicles.
“are you dating anyone sarge?” seok-chan smirked “a lot of our boys are seeing someone on the down low, you know?”
“are you?” yeong-hu responded.
“i cant. unless you start dating, i can’t wreck the chain of command”
“i feel no need for it”
“is it because you couldn’t find the right person?..it’s just, well i’ve been thinking and i mean you’re good looking and a survivor, you’re good at killing monsters and as a leader. you’re a prize catch in today’s standards. so, why can’t you get a girl? don’t you think y/n?”
you scoffed “as if anyone would want someone as cold and confusing as your sergeant”
yeong-hu turned his head and shot you a stern look at seok-chan awkwardly laughed.
“she’s probably just joking sarge” he cleared his throat as yeong-hu glared at him “let’s just focus on the mission”
“good idea” you added.
-time skip (im sorry im feeling lazy💀)-
you hated to admit it but going on the expedition with the crow platoon guys was actually pretty interesting and fun. it was the first time in god knows how long that you actually went outside and got hands on.
it was currently raining and you were taking in every second of it as you packed the final bits of medical supplies you had found.
“thank you” you said loudly to yeong-hu and he turned to look at you “really thank you”
yeong-hu was just about to respond but suddenly a loud explosion was heard. everyone’s heads turned to where the sound had come from.
“that came from camp, right?” seok-chan said.
“we need to prepare to head back!” yeong-hu called out loud to everyone and everyone began to get into the trucks.
it was decided to draw the monsters away from the stadium. the crow platoon had a plan, the only problem was that they didn’t get you involved.
“give me a gun. i can help” you demanded.
“forget it. i let you come to help look for supplies, that’s all. leave the rest to us” yeong-hu then opened the truck door for you to get inside.
with a loud huff you gave in and sat in the truck at the platoon men did their thing. once it was over, you found yourself back at the stadium.
you followed yeong-hu and the rest of the platoon members back into camp. you held your bag full of medical supplies on your shoulders, already thinking of places to store your new items.
as you continued on, seargent tak appeared.
“ten hut!” he called out and everyone around you turned to focus on him.
“sir, what was that explosion i heard?” yeong-hu asked stepping forward.
“a women tried to run and triggered a mine earlier. it exploded before we could properly defuse it” sergeant tak explained.
“which platoon member was overseeing them?”
from behind seargent tak, chan-young had approached them.
“I was in charge sir” chan-young stood straight “im private park”
you liked chan-young. he was by far the nicest platoon member out of them all. you didn’t know him well but from what you had seen before, he didn’t have a bad bone in his body.
“it’s behind us now. we moved on” sergeant tak told yeong-hu.
“and the runner? removed. i assume,huh? park chan-young!” yeong-hu was clearly pissed.
“she was showing monster symptoms so we isolated her” chan-young said.
“isolated?” yeong-hu raised an eyebrow.
“i insisted we keep her here.”’
once chan-young said those words, yeong-hu lost it and punched him. he fell into some old metal barrels but stood straight after a second so, yeong-hu punched him again- even harder. chan-young finally fell to the floor and he received a foot to the stomach.
“are you crazy? stop!” you yelled pushing yeong-hu so that he wouldn’t hurt chan-young any further.
“you stay out of this” yeong-hu grit his teeth, his stare like daggers.
if looks could kill, you would’ve been dead.
he then stormed off and you shook your head disappointedly as you helped chan-young get up.
———————————————————————————————
over the next few days, you noticed yeong-hu around. whenever he locked eyes with you, you’d pretend to not notice and whenever it was roll call you’d hope that it wouldn’t be him doing the checks. luckily for you it wasn’t him.
you couldn’t get him out of your head. he’d made an impression on you. good or bad? you didn’t know which one yet. but it was definitely a strong impression. you knew that.
“come with me” one of the platoon members had come to grab you.
“what for?” you were curious. after all, it had come out of no where.
“just come” the member said and began to walk away.
with a sigh you decided to follow.
“through there” the member then gestured for you to go in.
with a gulp, you pushed the door open and stepped inside. and there was yeong-hu. he had his hands on his hips while staring at a map up on a board, his head flicked in your direction and he then turned his full attention to you.
“where have your friends eun-yu and chan-young gone? they’re missing from roll call” yeong-hu asked while looking you up and down.
“how would i know where they are? i don’t keep tabs on them” you shrugged and paused “but…even if i did know, what makes you think i’d tell you. huh?”
“y/n i don’t have time for your childish games. you need to tell me straight if you know where they went”
“i just told you. i don’t know. i didn’t even know they were missing…now, can i go?”
yeong-hu nodded his head and you kissed your teeth as you turned to walk out the room. you were then stopped as you felt a hand on you. the force of the hand made you spin around to face yeong-hu. he was closer than before and you gulped as he scanned your face.
“if you see your friends, you need to tell me immediately” he told you and you nodded lightly.
your heart was beating fast because of how close he was and his hand was oddly warm and soft.
when you finally left the room, you couldn’t help but feel hot. your heart was still beating extremely fast and you hadn’t realised before but yeong-hu was actually really attractive.
stop! you told yourself.
you can’t like him.
you don’t like him.
the rest of the day passed by extremely slowly and you tried to distract yourself by doing different chores. none of it seemed to work as your mind constantly wandered back to one specific person.
that same person also couldn’t get you out of his head. he was trying to focus on his duties but you were constantly lingering in his mind. there was something about you. he couldn’t put his finger on it but he knew he had strong feelings for you. he just didn’t know if they were good or bad.
you tried sleeping. but you couldn’t. instead you were stuck tossing and turning trying to force yourself. it wasn’t working.
after sitting up, you slipped your shoes on and made your way to the crow platoon area. there was only one way to get your mind off that one person. you needed to face your feelings.
you wondered back to the room from earlier. your palms became sweaty once you were stood directly outside the door and your heart began to race. with whatever courage in you, you knocked lightly on the door and when you heard yeong-hu’ voice. you entered.
“y/n, it’s you” yeong-hu was slightly taken aback “have you found out where your friends went?”
you shook your head “sorry, no. i just couldn’t sleep. im guessing it’s the same for you too?”
“oh uh yeah, there’s a lot on my mind”
a silence then filled the room. you suddenly didn’t know what to say. for a while you both then didn’t say a word to one another.
“i should go. you must have a lot of things to do” you awkwardly tried to make an excuse to leave and began to head to the door.
“stay” yeong-hu’ voice was firm and you paused in your tracks.
“what?” you questioned not daring to turn around.
“stay y/n” he repeated.
“i should get going.” you reached forward to grab the door handle.
without warning, yeong-hu stood in front of you and was now blocking the door.
“y/n, there’s something about you. i don’t quite understand it. even when you’re not there, you linger in my mind. i think about you and i shouldn’t.” yeong-hu’ confession caught you off guard.
“what are you saying?” you breathed out, unable to say anything else.
“i like you”
as soon as he said those words you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders.
he had made it easy for you and your feelings towards him were now clear too.
“i like you too” you couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face.
yeong-hu brought his hand up to your cheek and gently cupped up. he looked between your eyes and your lips for permission and when you nodded lightly, he leaned forward and pressed your lips together.
and for once everything just felt right.
427 notes · View notes
vhagarlovebot · 1 year
Text
WON’T LET GO.
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♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )
pairing: prince aemond targaryen x fem!reader
summary: aemond is in pain and you want to help, but he doesn't want to scare you.
content warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship, insecure aemond, mentions of losing an eye, mentions of abuse.
note: if there are any mistakes i apologize but as some of you may know english is not my first language. hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.
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LOSING A PART OF YOURSELF, physically or emotionally, comes with a great pain.
and aemond targaryen knows that very well.
ever since he lost his eye there are times where the pain is almost unbearable. not even the milk of the poppy helps to ease the pain.
when he decided to used the sapphire, it was the best decision he ever made. everyone started to fear him more, he felt powerful. he felt attractive, less a monster.
however there are days in which all he wants to do is lock himself in his chambers and remove the gemstone. just lay there without his eyepatch, everyone who would look at him disgusted forgotten behind his doors. he knows it was a fair exchange but sometimes he whishes to have his eye back.
and once he met you that wish became more and more painful each passing day.
aemond knows you love him but sometimes his insecurities make it impossible for him to believe that he can be loved. so he forces himself to endure the pain. until one night it becomes too much.
you wake up because you heard a noise and as you try to touch aemond you realize he’s not next to you in bed. scared you get up, and even in the dark you can see him in a chair by the window, hands covering his face.
"aemond? are you alright?" the cold coming from the window makes you shiver, and you hug yourself as you crouch down beside him.
aemond is quick to look away, giving you just enough time to see that his eyepatch is missing.
"my love?"
"go back to bed." he groans. he's in pain and you feel useless, not knowing what to do to help him.
"is it your eye?" he still doesn't look at you and you start to feel impatient. "let me help you. please."
"i do not.. i don't have the sapphire- i don't want to scare you." his voice barely rises above a whisper and you can't help but let tears fall from your eyes.
you cup his chin, slowly making him face you, his one good eye closed. his empty eye socket doesn't even affect you.
"you want me to help you put ointment on the scar?" you ask softly, standing and turning around to go look for it. however, you don't make it too far when a sob escapes aemond's lips. rushing to his side, you wrap him in your arms, pressing his body tightly against you as he lets it all out.
he's hurting and you are hurting with him.
and it’s not just a physical pain. he’s hurting from the inside. he is still an abused child, damaged and scared, trying to live without an important part of himself. always remembering the pain he felt, how the only two people who stood by his side and defended him were you and his mother.
he, a child, was forced to grow up listening to the awful ways people referred to him, making him feel insignificant and a burden. he was forced to create a wall between him and the world; it was the only way to endure the pain.
aemond didn’t deserved everything that happened to him.
you don't know how much time passes but eventually his body stops shaking and he finally looks at you.
"you would never scare me." you make sure to wipe his tears, leaving a kiss on his forehead. "you don't have to hide from me... i love you, aemond. just as you are. and i’m here for you, i’ll always be here.”
he takes your hands and tenderly kisses them. "just hold me, please." he looks so broken it makes you want to burn the whole world to ease his pain, to lift that weight from him.
you hold him in your arms all night, only pulling away to put ointment on his scar or to make sure he’s no longer in pain. he falls asleep with his head on your chest and his arm around your waist, hugging you tightly even in his sleep.
4K notes · View notes
teyamsatan · 1 year
Text
High Infidelity III (the end)
Adult!Neteyam x (f)Metkayina!Reader x Ao'nung
Warnings: smut (fingering, oral - m and f receiving, spitting in mouth, anal play, p in v, creampie, praise kink), mentions of cheating, cursing, violence, blood, 18+ minors dni for the love of god !!!!
Word count: 6k words
Notes: honestly i need to be doused in holy water after writing that, but i'd probably just burst into flames anyway. i hope you enjoy reading the last instalment of High Infidelity, and I hope it's everything you've ever wanted and more, cause omg, did I enjoy writing it besties. thank you for all the love of this series, I really felt it. i love you all sm xoxoxo
previous part (x)
You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough
Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?
Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?
Neteyam’s face snapped in the direction of your voice, an unreadable expression marring his beautiful features. 
“What did you say?”
You were boldened and empowered by the ache running through you, by all the feelings that mingled into a cocktail that looked a lot like bravery, that looked a lot like you were going to finally give in to your biggest desires and wildest dreams. 
You moved closer to him, taking slow, purposeful steps, until you circled around him and kneeled in front of him, in between his legs, placing on hand on each knee to help you, and you couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered as you noticed the goosebumps on his skin where you touched him. 
You looked at him intently, wanting to show him that you meant it, that you were in this, that there was no doubt in your mind, no wavering in your resolve.
“Neteyam… I want you to fuck me. I’ve needed you, ached for you since the moment on the beach, since you apologised, since you were kind to me and showed me there’s more to life than men who take and take until there’s nothing left. That there’s more to love than what I’ve known all my life. That when it’s right, you’ll know it in your gut, you’ll know it in the way your whole body reacts like it’s been set on fire, or like it’s been set free. 
I should have called it off the second I knew I started having feelings for another. I was afraid, afraid of the consequences, afraid of breaking people’s hearts, afraid of broken expectations and unfulfilled bonds, but I am not anymore. I’m not afraid anymore, the only thing I am afraid of is living without knowing this feeling, living without knowing I’ve done everything in my power to give in to you.
You told me one day I’ll beg you to fuck me. So here I am. I am begging you to fuck me. To take me. To show me all the things I know only you can. The things I only want you to.” 
Neteyam’s expression turned wild and fervent, and you felt the growl he let out deep within you, deep in your core. His hand went to your jaw, that he brought closer to his face, so close, your eyes were struggling to focus on him, and the tint of green in his yellow eyes. You found yourself tracing each gleaming dot on his face, each stripe that marked his skin like a battle scar, his full lips that were parted, the deep breath that came out through them and into you, and you inhaled deeply, closing your eyes, allowing yourself to drown in the weight of his presence, in the weight of the feelings he brought out of you. 
“Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. You have no idea what I’ll do to you. I told you you will beg me to fuck you, but baby girl, when I do it, I’ll do it until you’ll beg me to stop. Until I’ve made you come so many times, until you’re so drunk on my cock you can’t see straight anymore.” 
“But not tonight. I don’t know what happened in the time you went away, but we are doing this the right way this time. I won’t risk losing you again. You can sleep it off, sleep the drink off and the night off, sleep Aonung off, and tomorrow, if you’re ready and you’ll still want me, I’ll be here for you, and I’ll be yours forever.” 
You whined as he let your jaw go free and your mind twirled with images of his words come to life, burned in your imagination forever, gnawing at you to make them come true. 
“But I want you now. And I know you want me to, I can see it in your eyes. I’m here, I’m begging you, isn’t that what you wanted?” 
“That is what I wanted, just when you’re sober and not reeling from Aonung’s mistakes. Come, I’ll take you home.” 
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You woke up dazed and confused, needing a long while before realising you were back in your marui, back to the comfort of your sleeping mat and loosely wrapped in thin covers. You slowly rose, quickly regretting it, as the motion made you dizzy and nauseous and want to reconsider every moment that made it so this was your current life. Flashes of last night and all the hurt it brought with it started appearing in front of your eyes, furthering your sullen mood and unhappy state. So much happened, so much that you would give anything to forget.
As the world settled a little around you, you noticed a little trinket on your mat, next to where you lay your head. It was a bracelet, you noted in shock. A beautiful, intricate bracelet, crafted with a technique and materials characteristic of the Omatikaya.
Neteyam…
You immediately removed the bracelet that was already on your arm and swapped it for the one you were holding tightly in your palm, and tried to not think what a perfect allegory this was, how this was the beginning of your new life. The beginning of new love. 
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Your body loved the touch of the breeze as it caressed your skin, soft and tender, like a lover. It was necessary, like the air going in and out of your lungs, keeping you alive, allowing you to keep going. You tried your best to relax, tried your best to remove the anger and anguish for one man, need and ache for another, both of which felt like poison coursing through your veins, and tried to replace it with other, less intense emotions, like the relief of knowing, despite the hurt and the pain, that you could finally be free of Aonung, free for the first time in your life to make your own decisions, to live outside of the expectations and the burden placed on you since you were young, free to follow your heart, free to grow and be yourself, and to discover who that is to begin with. 
You felt entranced by the beauty of the nature surrounding you, that you grew up with, that you’ve experienced every day of your life and yet somehow never took for granted, never fully got used to it, as you allowed your feet to feel the soft grainy sand beneath them and the water splashing over your ankles and calves as you walked on the beach that felt like your safe space, like your haven in the storm. You thought about Neteyam and his words, about the bracelet he left on your pillow and how it felt against your arm where it now resided and it will continue to for as long as you could help it, how even this gift was a perfect metaphor of your past and present. Aonung’s bracelet was beautiful and opulent, with rare stones and shells, with what he thought you wanted, but in reality, it was harsh and it scratched at your skin every time it was on your body, leaving friction burns and scratches that left you bruised and bloodied if you weren’t careful. When you lost it, you didn’t realise it, you just felt freer and weightless. Neteyam’s bracelet was understated and carefully crafted, with soft leather and round, polished pebbles, and it felt like velvet touching your skin, it felt safe and healing. It felt like the calming nature around you, like the warmth of the sun caressing your skin. It felt like new beginnings.
As your mind wandered over the events of the past few weeks, and those of the past few years, you came to the conclusion that this, this whole mess, is not about Neteyam or Aonung. Not anymore. It might have started that way, it might have been what set everything in motion, but it wasn’t the whole picture. This wasn’t about two men. It was about you and your life, your past and your future, and who you wanted to be moving forward. It was about realising that the shackles that bound you to one destiny were loose and rusted, and with a little force, you could be free of them, free at last to be more than who your chains led you to believe. The dark feelings that possessed you made you aware that there was more to you than what you thought, than what everybody thought. The ache and need you felt for Neteyam showed you you were a woman now, a woman who wanted to learn and explore her sexuality and learn what makes her body tremble, what makes it convulse in pleasure. Kissing him and letting him explore your body allowed you to see you were capable of wrongdoings, you weren’t just a two-dimensional being with only positive and light coming out of you, but you had a darkness in you, you had the capability to be selfish and put your own needs first, something you have never done before. The anger that enveloped you when you heard Aonung cheating on you, the thirst for revenge and vindication, the way you told Neteyam that you wanted him, showed you that you were strong, that despite your and everybody else’s view that you were frail and weak, and not a warrior, there was something in you - a power, strong and unflinching, an infinite untapped potential that you swore you would get to know in time. 
You were so deep in your own thoughts, that the tug of your arm that spun you around almost knocked you to the ground, and you had to swallow the vomit that rose in your mouth at the harshness with which you were handled. 
“We need to talk.” 
As soon as the world stopped spinning around you, you were able to make out Aonung’s body and his face, sullen and tired, and you knew instantly he was battling a mean hangover, much worse than yours. You found yourself smirking at his state, hopeful that he was suffering and revelling in knowing he did. 
“I’ve been looking for you for fucking ages.”
“Well, you found me. What do you want?” 
Aonung’s eyes went wide at your words. He wasn’t used to you talking in such a way, determined, devoid of tears or quivering lips, of soft words and a trembling voice. 
“What do you mean what do I want? You fucked off with another man last night, with the tree hugger of all people, and you’re asking me what I want? I want you to explain to me what he was doing there, and why you chose to leave.” 
You were so shocked by the nonsense coming out of his mouth, so flabbergasted that the only thing you could think to do is laugh. A crazy, maniacal laugh that continued until there was no more breath in your lungs. 
“You know? I knew you were a selfish, self-involved, self-centered jerk for so long, and yet I was continuously blinded by my own desire to see the best in people, the best in you. I held a flicker of hope that the kid I knew was still there, somewhere deep down inside of your shallow soul, but I see now I was blind. You want to talk? Fine, let’s talk. How long have you been fucking another girl, Aonung?” 
You watched as Aonung’s mouth opened and then closed, and did so a few more times, while he was trying to come up with an excuse or an explanation, and you felt so free, so weightless, it was like you were floating. No more guilt, no more angst plaguing you, just a light, soft feeling, like a warm hug or sleeping on a cloud. 
“Was yesterday the first night? Was it a drunken mistake? Did causing me pain, almost forcing yourself on me turn you on so much that you just needed to do it desperately, that you couldn’t help yourself?”
Your questions were once again met with nothing, no sounds, not even a twitch of the ear or of a facial muscle, no hint that your words were even registering in his mind. 
“Come on, Aonung. You said you wanted to talk, let’s talk. Did an Akula get your tongue?” 
“Fine, if you don’t want to talk, how about I talk? We’re over, Aonung. So, so over. You want to know why Neteyam came to get me yesterday? Because he’s a better man than you will ever be. Because even on your best day, you aren’t even a fraction of him on his worst day. Because in a few weeks, he has managed to make me feel things you never have, because in just a few weeks, he showed me there’s more to me than what you led me to believe, more to love than what I grew up thinking. And you know what else? I let him do things to me you could only dream of. I let him touch me in ways you never will, let him pleasure me in ways you couldn’t if you tried. And it was amazing. And I will do it again and again, while you will live your life knowing you blew the best thing that ever happened to you.” 
Unsurprisingly, that seemed to wake him up from whatever trance he found himself in. The surprise clear on his face made way for panic, a quick brush of sadness that settled finally on anger, deep-seeded anger, manifested through flared nostrils and shallow breaths. 
“What did you say?” 
“You heard me. Good luck, Aonung. I hope one day you grow the fuck up, but it won’t be for me to help you through it. Not anymore.” 
“You’re such a fucking slut, aren’t you? You act all high and mighty with me, refusing me what’s mine, what was MY right, and you go give it up to some asshole you just met? I guess it’s true what they say, it’s the quiet girls. Always the quiet girls.” 
You tried to not let it affect you, his words, his horrible words that somehow manage to pierce through you like knifes, and kept your gaze steady on his face contorting in anger. 
“Leave, Aonung. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 
You turned around to follow you own advice, but found yourself again being yanked back like a rag doll by his much larger hands wrapping around your arms and pulling. 
“I’m not fucking done, you sl-“ 
The bone crunching noise that rang in your ear as Neteyam’s fist made contact with Aonung’s nose was weirdly satisfying, and you watched as the Metkayina man was knocked straight to the ground, blood pouring from his face and dripping down his chest. The impact was so powerful that his blood splattered over your face, painting you in red spilling drops. Whatever form of sympathy you felt for Aonung left your body the moment he called you a slut for doing something he was doing behind your back just a night ago, while not taking any accountability or exhibiting any ounce of remorse. You felt a sick satisfaction, watching him try to gather himself, hand on his nose, forehead scrunched up in pain and confusion.  Neteyam put his body in between you and Aonung, taking a few steps in his direction. 
“Leave. Now. If you ever, ever touch her again, if you ever look the wrong way at her again, the next thing I break is both your legs.” His voice was low and unflinching, calm and unperturbed by any emotion. He was scary. So scary, you felt that voice in every fibre of your being, and you assumed Aonung did, too. You watched as he got to his feet slowly, and a little wobbly, turned around and started walking away.
“I would tell your parents it was unfortunate, but it didn’t work out. That you felt like I wasn’t the right person for you and you felt bad stringing me along. That you fell in love with someone else. You choose, but I would hurry. Unless you want me to tell them what happened, but then you might not get to keep your family jewels, and I’m sure the girl you were fucking behind my back last night would be very disappointed about that. Good riddance, Aonung.” 
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You couldn’t stop staring at Neteyam, at this man who drove you to the point of madness, who made you want to do things that Eywa herself would cower in shame at, whose back was tensed with each deep breath he took as he watched Aonung leave like a wounded animal, like the coward he was. The adrenaline was coursing through your veins, making you light up with excitement and need, making you pant with the aftershocks of the fight, with animalistic desire at how powerful and forceful, how brave and imposing he was. As Aonung disappeared from sight, and from your mind forever, you watched as he turned to face you, a desperate wild look haunting him. He approached you and you were able to take note of the blood on his face, that adorned him like war paint, and on his knuckles as his hands found their way to your face and hair. 
“Are you alright?” 
You just nodded, too overcome with his presence and all it invoked in you to be able to speak. 
“I’m sorry you had to see that. That you had to go through that.” 
You shook your hand and placed a hand on his, smiling softly. 
“It’s over. It’s finally over.” 
You couldn’t wait any longer, would not wait any longer, and you swiftly closed the gap between you and kissed him. Kissed him the way you have dreamt since the moment you saw him on the beach, kissed him like your life depended on it, like your sanity hung in the shaky balance between his touch and your body, like he was everything. The taste of blood on his lips did nothing to deter you, emboldening you instead, and he moaned in your mouth before deepening the kiss, lifting you in his arms effortlessly until your legs wrapped around him. He only broke the kiss to replace your mouth with your collarbones and chest, and you threw your head back as his touch brought fluttering in your stomach and throbbing in your core, that was calling for him, begging him to fill you. 
Neteyam knelt slowly with you still in his arms, handling you like you were no heavier than a child. His strength and physique never failed to amaze you, and right now, neither did the bulge that brushed against you as he guided you onto the ground. You propped yourself up onto your elbows and stared at it, at him, until he smirked and lifted your gaze onto his own by a touch of your cheek. 
“Like what you see, princess?” 
You gulped and nodded meekly. He took your hand in his and placed your palm on his hard erection, and you couldn’t help the way you started feeling him, tracing its curve and girth, or the soft moan that escaped you at its feel, at how tight the loincloth was stretched around it, at how big he felt, at how empty your brain was at the thought of it slamming into you over and over until you saw white.
 
He spoke lowly, teasingly, while reaching for your loincloth, that he loosened and removed without any effort. 
“Feel that, baby girl? It’s all for you.”
He pushed you on your back by placing a hand on your chest and used a little force to spread your legs, and you were puny in his hands, malleable to his touch, willing to be whatever it was he wanted you to be. He swallowed as he took you in, admiring you while his fingers trailed over your folds, reaching down south until they circled another little puckered hole, eliciting a small gasp from you at the prospect of what was coming. 
“All for you. All for this pretty pussy, and your tight little ass, for this fuckable mouth.” 
“So, so fuckable, I don’t even know what to start with.” He pushed two fingers in you without any warning and you dropped to the ground and arched your back almost on command, so excited to finally get some release, any release, like you have needed for so long. Soon enough, it became too little, and you found yourself needing more, much much more. 
The bucking of your hips was met with a mocking chuckle and words that made you whine in frustration.
“Not yet, baby. Not yet. You’re not ready for my cock yet. We need to get you ready, and you need to be a good girl and get me ready. Come on, on your knees, my love. Gonna fuck this pretty face, first… what do you think? Do you like that idea, pretty girl?” 
You moaned at his words, but did what you were told, rising on your knees, noticing dripping going down your leg as you did so, and came face to face with his hips as he rose in all his perplexing, over 9 foot glory. Being so close, so close with the bulge you were just caressing earlier, knowing faintly what was hiding underneath, made you almost vicious, and you found yourself reaching for his loincloth, untying it hurriedly, your urgency making Neteyam scoff lightly, patting the top of your head in a gentle and surprisingly loving motion.  
“So eager, my love. Eager to get stuffed with my cock, aren’t you?” 
As the loincloth fell to the floor, so did the rest of whatever pathetic inhibitions you had left, taking in his length, that was even bigger than what it felt like under the loincloth, so big in fact, you were genuinely concerned at how it was ever going to fit in your mouth, fit in you. Your wide eyes didn’t go unnoticed by the Omatikayan, who lifted your chin so you could meet his gaze, and whatever expression he was met with made a low growl emerge from his lips, and you felt yourself clench around nothing. 
You couldn’t wait any longer without his touch, without feeling him, so you tentatively grabbed his cock in your hand, struggling to make your fingers meet as you wrapped around his base, and you started stroking him up and down, all the while grinding on the ground, trying to get any relief from the enormous pressure building in your core. Primal curiosity took over you as you closed your lips around his tip, dying to feel the taste of the liquid spilling from it and you moaned around his cock as it was better than you could have ever foreseen. The sound and vibration made Neteyam push your head closer to his body, and you gagged slightly as his impressive length made its way down your throat. 
“That’s it, baby. Look how well you’re taking my cock. You’re doing so well, princess.”
Without any warning, he started a slow pace in and out of your mouth, holding your head in place with his hands, and fuck, you loved how he was using you as his own personal sex doll. It was so obscene, so filthy, so so good. He felt so good in your mouth, his sweet taste flooding your every sense, welcoming him further in, until your nose was touching his hip bone and his balls were slapping against your chin with every thrust. You wrapped your hands around his thighs, propping yourself to get a better angle, to be able to suck him off the way you wanted, the way you knew he wanted.
“Look how you’re dry humping the ground with my cock so deep in your mouth. You want to be fucked, don’t you, baby? Such a slut for my cock, aren’t you?” 
His unrelenting pace made tears appear in the corner of your eyes, spilling down your cheek, mixing with the saliva pooled around your mouth, that dripped all over his balls. 
“You’ve never looked prettier than when you’re getting your face fucked. So pretty, princess. Those fucking eyes looking up at me, all innocent, so wild, so - fuck, you will be the death of me.” 
“Gonna let me come in this pretty mouth, huh? Want to suck me dry, baby girl?” 
You mewled approvingly around his cock, hallowing your cheeks and pushing your tongue against him to drive him to his release sooner, wanting, needing to feel him, to own him, a piece of him, like he owned you, like he would - forever. 
“Ohh, fuuck - fuck, princess, just like that. It’s like you were born to suck my cock. Doing so well for me, baby.” 
Hot spurts of thick liquid came shooting down your throat and the deep guttural groans he released as the orgasm washed over him was almost enough to bring you to your own - you’ve never heard something more erotic, something more salacious, something better, in your life.  
“Good girl.” He slowly removed himself from you and pushed you back into the ground, towering over you, his still fully hard length slapping over your inner thigh haphazardly. “Do you feel what you do to me? Feel how hard I still am for you? I’ll never get enough of this body, princess. You will be dripping in my cum by the time I’m done, this is what being next you does to me.” 
His lips crashed against yours aggressively, and his tongue pushed past your teeth into your mouth, exploring you, tasting himself on your tongue. His cock twitched and brushed your dripping folds and you whimpered in his mouth. He smirked at the sound, and positioned himself alongside your core, started slowly grinding his length on you, teasing you, bringing new tears to your eyes and unintelligible sounds to his ears, that revelled in it, that thrived off of how much of a pitiful, writhing mess you were under him. 
“Please, Neteyam. Please, fuck, f-“ 
“You’re still not ready for me, princess.”
“I-I’m ready, please, I’m so fucking ready!” 
He tutted in disapproval and removed his body from yours, leaving you empty and aching. You tried closing your legs together, but that too was promptly interrupted by his hands, keeping them far apart. He started a torturous ritual of kissing and licking every part of your body he had access to, masterfully avoiding the only places you wanted, needed to be touched. He started with your collarbones, and down your sternum, alongside your abdomen, and hip bone, your thighs, and inner thighs, and you were crying, the pleasure so great, and yet so incomplete it was hurting you, it was turning into pain. 
“Neteyam, I - “
“Hush, baby. Let me take care of you. Let me show you why it couldn’t have been anyone else but me.”
With that, he placed a tender, barely there kiss on your bare pussy, then another one, and another one. His mouth closed around your clit, sucking on it softly, alternating between it and kitten licks, and the rough texture of his tongue made you see stars, made you convulse around his mouth. His tongue moved languidly, drawing numbers on your swollen pussy, pushing into you and lapping at the liquid falling down his chin. You tasted like heaven to him, like a ripened summer fruit, like a flower in spring, blossoming around him, inundating his smell, coating his tongue in its aroma. He loved seeing you like this, all of this, falling apart at the seams in pleasure, tears prodding at your eyes, lips parted and cheeks flushed, chest heaving up and down, hands in his hair, pushing his tongue deeper in your sopping cunt. He loved all of it. 
Two slender, long fingers made their way inside of you, feeling you, curling them to massage the perfect spot, the spot he found last time, the spot he knew would make you come undone, and he couldn’t help the arrogance in his tone as he talked. 
“Come for me, princess. Let me hear how good I make you feel.” 
Your orgasm flushed over you, the most intense feeling you have ever felt, and you now understood why he edged you for so long, and even in your dazed mind, you were grateful that he seemed to know your body better than you knew it yourself. 
He continued licking at your entrance, not wasting a drop of your cum, not when it was better than any liquor, better than any drink he’s ever been fortunate enough to taste. When he finished, he got back on top of you until you were face to face, and you noticed weakly the glistening on his chin as your juices coated it, and the smirk he had on those beautiful lips that was unrelenting. He knew he was amazing, he knew what he was doing to you. 
“See, baby? I know what you need. I’m what you need. Open your mouth.” You did so, no questions asked, and watched as he spit in your mouth, licking your lips in order not to miss anything, humming to yourself as the taste of your own cum registered on your tongue. 
“Feel how good you taste. So fucking good, princess.”
“I think you’ve suffered enough. I think it’s time you get what you deserve for being such a good girl. The best girl.” 
You felt his arm on your abdomen as he reached down and aligned himself with your folds, his bulbous tip rubbing against your warm, aching entrance. Slowly, gently, he starts sinking into you, allowing you to feel each inch, allowing you to take in the delicious stretch, and the feeling of you wrapping around him brought shivers down his spine. The mewls escaping your lips fuelled his hunger for your body, fuelled his need to push you until you were so overstimulated, you were blacking out with him still deep inside your cunt. 
“Eyes on me, baby girl. Look at how deep in you I am, I want you to watch me fuck you.” Neteyam’s cock twitched inside of you at your incredulous expression, at your wide eyes and fucked out face as your stomach deformed slightly, a bulge appearing every time he pushed deep into your cervix. It drives him to the point of insanity, that look, and he starts a maddening pace, quick and rough, rutting into you deeply, watching as your tits bounce with every thrust. 
Your mind is blank of any thoughts and full of immeasurable pleasure, unholy sounds escaping your lips like a prayer, like a litany to keep going, to not stop, because fuck, this is the best feeling of your life, being so owned, so free, so helpless, so in control of your own desires, so full, full to the brim with pleasure, with love, with his cock. You start to see stars, as the now familiar feeling draws closer, and your entire body starts shaking in preparation for the wave you knew was about to hit you any second. His thrusts are unrelenting, hitting your cervix mercilessly as your walls tighten around him, wanting to keep him, to never let him go.
“That’s it, baby. You’re clenching my cock so tightly, want to come all over me, princess? Want to cover my dick with that sweet cum?”
“Yes! Fuck, yes! Yes yes yes!” 
Your eyes roll in the back of your head as the orgasm drowns you in overwhelming, toe-curling sensations, and you start doubting you will ever see or hear properly ever again, as the world is enveloped in a white, over-exposed glow and your ears lose their ability to discern the waves and the birds flying above you. 
“We’re not done, my love.” You barely registered his manoeuvring your now limp body, turning you upside down, so that your chest was flush against the ground as his hands lifted your ass up, his cock once more prodding at your entrance, and you whine, crying as you are barely able to understand what is going on, much less able to appreciate the way he’s spreading your ass cheeks, massaging them slowly, purposefully, while he sinks back into your wet, sensitive, throbbing cunt. 
“Neteyam, I can’t anymore… ’s too much.”
“You can, baby. One more for me, come on. I promised you I’d fuck you til you can’t see straight anymore, and I don’t think we’re there yet.” 
“You say you can’t, but look how good this pussy’s taking me, look how it moulds around my cock, how you’re squeezing me. You’re so good for me, princess. I can’t believe I get to do this, can’t believe you’re mine.”
A slap on your ass makes you yelp in pain, waking you up like from a daydream. 
“I need to hear you say it, my love.”
“’m yours, Neteyam. Yours.” 
“That’s right, you’re mine. And I’m yours. You own me.” 
You can’t help the way you instinctively push back on Neteyam, can’t help the way, even in this fucked-out state, you’re still searching for more, you still need him deeper, need him to fuck you dumb, fuck you until you’re passed out on the sand. You match his animalistic thrusts the best you can, moaning loudly, wildly, as each of them takes the breath out of your lungs, as each of them fills you up to the brim, as each of them takes you closer to that third release. 
“M-more. I need more.”
“You filthy girl. Such a slut for me, aren’t you? My little slut, drunk on my cock.” 
You gasp as his thumb traces your asshole, then slowly removes it and brings his hand to your face, his other hand caressing your lower back. 
“Open your mouth, pretty girl.” You did as you were told, and he pushed two fingers inside your mouth and down you throat, and you sucked on them, allowing your tongue to trace in between them, coating them with your saliva. 
“Good girl.”
He moved his hand back to your ass again, and slowly pushes one finger in, ignoring the mewling sounds spilling past your lips. He started moving his finger in and out of you slowly, adding the other, all the while rutting into you like a rabid animal in heat, pushing you forward with each thrust, holding you tightly by your hips, leaving imprints on your sensitive skin that you knew would be bruised when this was all over. You loved it. 
The feeling of his cock burrowing deep inside your core and his fingers moving in an out of your ass slowly was too much, and you were bracing for the snapping of the coil that has been tightening inside of you, knowing that when it snapped, so will you, and your last remaining consciousness. 
“You gonna let me cum in this pussy? Want me to fill you up real nice, paint those pretty pink walls white?” 
You tried to answer, but only ugly whimpers came out, and by the sound of his melodic laugh, you knew he took that as a yes. 
“Come on, princess. Be a good girl and milk my cock dry.”
You didn’t need to be told twice, as the orgasm took everything out of you, and you would take everything out of him, as a result. He was right. When he was done, you were so drunk on his cock, you really couldn’t see anymore. And as he lowered his body on yours, resting his chest on your back and peppering small, gentle kisses on the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings and telling you how good you did, you knew you were excited not be able to see straight every day, for the rest of your life. 
thank you again to everyone who likes, replies and reblogs and asked to be tagged, i love you all x
@jackiehollanderr @afro-hispwriter @sanranrin @universal-s1ut @neteyamforlife @arminsgfloll @avatar-on-top @neteyamsyawntu @farleyis @jjkclub @doulcha @adaiasafira @teyamsmate @ang-taylorsversion @junnniiieee07 @americanbeauty-americanpsycho @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @netemoon @shayligames-blog @hotmenwhoree @yan-ghost-yan @iikatsukii @rgbsona @moneyoverl0v3
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Ready, Aim, Shoot (2)
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Hi guys !
I hope you are fine. I’m still struggling with writer’s block but I tried some things to get over it, so here is my new creation.
It’s a mix from a request I had here, and for asks from the prompt that you can find here and here.
It’s the second part of Ready, Aim, Shoot but I tried to make it understandable even if you didn’t have read the first part.
So please enjoy ♥
TW : Mention of accident, coma, injuries, blood. But it will get better.
Prompt : 22 (I won't anyone lay an hand on you) & 28 (Why are you bleeding?)
PART 1 | PART 3
____________________________________________________________
You never felt as weird as Alexia takes you home from the airport. Barcelona doesn’t have change in any way, it’s still the same streets, the same traffic jam, the same scents, the same laughs and happiness of people. But you, you have changed. What you have to get through make you change. You’ve learned the death of three of your colleagues. They are dead and you are not. Some of them had kids, lovers and they are dead. Why you, aren’t you dead? Why did you survive the bomb, your injuries when others didn’t?
Alexia puts her hand delicately on your knee and you jump, returning to reality. She looks at you with concern and you try to give her a smile, but you fail.
“It’s going to be alright, mi Amor. You are not alone. I’m here so is your parents, your siblings and your friends.”
“I know” you confirm quietly. “I’m sorry”
“You don’t have to be for anything mi Amor.”
You put your hand on Alexia’s, stroking her fingers with your thumb while looking outside. The sun is shining and you’re pretty sure that all the beaches are crowded with people. You always loved going there but with Alexia’s popularity you have to find more quiet beaches. Which you don’t mind. As long as you’re with her, it’s all that it matters.
At home, you are greeted by your cat who comes to rub himself against your legs while meowing, until you lower yourself to carry him. The movement makes you wince in pain, which Alexia doesn’t miss. But you assure her it’s okay, squeezing Diabolo against you. He let you do it for some minutes, before leaving your arms to go back to sleep.
“Glad to see that some things will never change” you roll your eyes.
Alexia laughs slightly, coming back from the bathroom where she putted your suitcase that she didn’t let you carry. She takes your hand in hers, taking you gently against her.
“If you hug me, you’ll see that I will never let you go”
“Take that Diabolo.”
You smile, getting as close as your injuries let you do it. The painkiller seems to start to stop working and you surely have to take one soon. But first you need to take a good shower, you’re not allowed to take a bath because of your scars.
“I’m going to take a shower” you inform your girlfriend.
She nods, kisses your cheek and follows you to the bathroom. You started to get off of your clothes, before stopping. You usually don’t mind Alexia’s presence in the bathroom when you take your shower, it’s a moment where you talk a lot about things. Sometimes she showers with you, other times she does different facial or hair treatments or she just sit on the toilet lid.
But today, you have way more scares than before and you’re not sure that you want Alexia to see it. The blonde sees you looking at her through the mirror and bites her lip. She immediately understands your torment.
“I’ll leave if you want. But I want you to know that it won’t change the way I look at you or the way I love you. No matter how your body is, you’re still you. And I will always love you.”
You nod, but you’re still nervous. Like if she doesn’t want to scare you, Alexia come to you slowly, surrounding you with her arms.
“Let me help you?”
She’s looking at your eyes in the mirror and you nod one more time. You let her take off your shirt and pants. She had done that a thousand times, but always with teasing hands or eagerly. Today, however, her hands are sweet and caring, as if she wanted to heal you with them. She also removes the protection on your knee and shoulder, with a thousand precautions.
She frowns when she sees your injuries. Your nose doesn’t look broken anymore, but you still have bruises and cuts. You swallow but then you see that she’s looking at one of your scare on your stomach.
“Why are you bleeding?”
You follow her eyes and shrug lightly.
“This one seems to have difficulty to heal” you mumble.
“I’ll take you to the Barca’s medic tomorrow. But now, you have to take your shower and get some rest.”
********
Alexia takes you to her favorite medical team and they work their magic. You still have pain sometimes, especially on your shoulder, but you are getting better. You filed your resignation some days after your arrival at Barcelona and it’s not a surprise for anyone. Some media tried to talk to you about what happened, but you shut them down every time. It’s too soon.
You’re pretty great during the day, you keep yourself busy with things. Alexia is almost always there with you and when she isn’t, you have friends or family visiting. Alexia takes you to walk in early morning for Nala’s stroking, every day. She’s an angel of patience, always kind, caring and loving. You cook for her every night, following her diet with attention. This allows you to occupy your mind and hands.
Your girlfriend and family insist that you go to see a specialist, to talk about what you’ve been through. You hate this. It’s always hard for you to talk about all this. You beg almost every time Alexia to not make you go, but she’s determined, confident that it will help you get better quickly. The worst thing is that she’s right.
At nights, however, it’s more difficult. You have trouble to fall asleep even if you avoid naps during the day to help you falling asleep. But it doesn’t work well. You stay still in your bed for hours; you don’t want to wake Alexia up. She takes so good care of you, she deserves her beauty sleep.
And when you fall asleep, you have a lot of nightmares. It’s normal and a process to get better if you listen to your psychoanalyst. But it’s still terrifying. For you and your girlfriend.
Once again tonight, Alexia is awakened by your scream of terrors. You’re still asleep in your nightmare when she sits on the bed. You’re turning around, the sheet wrapped around you, fighting against your nightmare. It’s always difficult for her to wake you up, she scared that you hurt yourself when you’re jiggling like that, but she’s scared too that she might hurt you.
So, she takes your face between her hands, calling you several times before you finally open your eyes.
“Alexia” you call her, terrified.
“I’m here mi Amor. It’s ok. You’re ok.”
You sit down too, looking around you. You become aware of the bedroom you share with Alexia and her presence at your side. She’s stroking your arm lightly, looking at you patiently.
“Ale” you mumble this time.
“I’m here. You’re safe. I won't anyone lay a hand on you.”
She takes you on her arms, making you sit on her lap. Letting yourself go against her. She strokes your back this time, rocking you softly. You let your breath slow down, very aware of your quick heartbeat.
“I’m sorry”
Alexia takes the time to kiss your jaw, your cheek several times and your forehead before answering.
“You don’t have to be.”
“Yes, I do, Ale. I’m a mess. I can’t sleep and I can’t do a lot of things alone because of my injuries. I keep waking you up almost every night because I can’t get better. I should have listened to you and stay at Barcelona. I’m so so…”
But Alexia doesn’t let you finish, putting a finger on your lips to stop your rambling. Tears are in your eyes again but for now you managed to keep them inside your eyes.
“You’re getting better, Y/N. You don’t zone out like you did when you came back. You smile more, your injuries are getting better, and I see you smile way more than before. No one expects to you to heal in two days, especially not me. You took so good care of me when I was injured, now it’s my turn.”
She puts a hand on your cheek, making you look at her. Her hazel eyes are looking at you with so much care and love that it took your breath away.
“What if the nightmares never end Ale?”
“We will find a way to heal you, mi Amor. I swear.”
You believe her. She seems so sure of herself that you believe her. She kisses your cheek again and when you turn your face, she kisses the corner of your mouth first and then your lips. One time, two time and the third you press your lips a little longer against her.
********
Alexia was right. You get better, even if it takes time. You still have nightmare sometimes, but you manage to not wake Alexia up every time. She’s not happy when you don’t though, wanting to be there for you as much as she can.
When your shoulder is better, she lets you come back to look at her games, as long as you are with her sister or her mother. She’s way too scared that someone push you and hurt you again to let you go there by yourself. You feel bad for Alba or Eli, given the imperious tone with which Alexia orders them to watch over you. But the two women don’t seem to mind, looking at you like you are the most precious thing in the world. When you joke about it with Eli one time, she answers you that you are the most precious thing in Alexia’s word. You didn’t know what answer to that.
Alexia always takes a thousand precautions with you, whether you are at home or outside. She doesn’t hesitate to scold someone who approaches you too much or to carry you from one room to another to avoid working your knee after your physiotherapy sessions. Which she wants to take you every time, by the way.
And the best thing about all of this, she does all of this without being intrusive. On the contrary. Her presence reassures you and is a strength for you. Your recovery without her would have been very much longer.
Tonight, she’s not taking you at home immediately after the game like she did the other times. Instead, she takes you with her in the lobby where the families are going after the games. There you met her friends, that you also appreciate very much too.
“Take it easy, Lucy, you’re going to hurt her.”
Alexia practically teleported to your side when she saw Lucy take you in her arms to greet you.
“I’m careful Capi, don’t worry.”
You smile at Lucy after she told you she was happy to see you again. You’re seeing many of Alexia’s teammates you haven’t seen since you returned to Barcelona. But your girlfriend never walks away from you, except to get you something to drink. And when you start to get tired, she sees it immediately.
“Do you want to go home?” she whispers in your ear.
You smile softly, letting yourself go against her. She passes delicately her arms around your waist and put her chin on your shoulder.
“You’re having fun, we can stay a little bit longer if you want.”
“How is your knee?”
“I’m fine, Cariño.”
She hums and keep you against her for a few more moments, kissing softly your cheek.
“Five more minutes and we go.”
“Alright Capitana” you smirk.
She snorts, pinching your rib lightly, surely not to hurt you. You can’t wait for your bruises to completely disappear, so that Alexia can start touching you again like she used to. Her love language being touching, you sometimes feel like she has to restrained herself.
That’s what you’re thinking about in her car when she takes you home. You’re thinking about it when you prepare yourself to go to bed too and when you’re in her arms in your bed you start to overthink it maybe a little too much. What if she never touches you like before, because all she’s going to see from you is this wounded woman? What if she finds someone else wit who she wants to share this kind of moment with? Alexia saw that you were a little lost in your thoughts when you came home, but she didn’t push you to talk about it.
You just have to look up to know what she’s peacefully asleep. Her face is completely relaxed, and her chest rises peacefully to the rhythm of her breathing. Yours is quite complicated, so you choose to escape her arms to take refuge in your balcony, hopping the fresh air will help you.
Sitting in a chair, you put your head in your hands, trying to collect your thoughts. Alexia promised to never let you down, but how can she be certain that her feelings will never change?
You don’t know how many times you are staying here, but Alexia’s voice almost makes you fall from your seat. You’re so surprised that you don’t understand what she says to you. You just blink at her as she’s looking at you with a worried look.
“You will freeze to death, come inside please.”
You take the hand she hands you to help you get up. And she wraps you in her arms in a protective way as soon as she closes the door. The warm of her skin makes you realize that you are, in fact, very cold.
“Were you trying to get pneumonia or something?” she asks, frowning.
“I couldn’t sleep” you mumble.
She sighs and she doesn’t have to say what she’s thinking. You already know that she’s not happy that you didn’t wake her. She doesn’t bother to tell it to you anyway.
“Do you need a hot shower, or can we go to bed?”
“We can go to bed” you sigh.
She seems upset and you hesitate to lye against her, but she takes you back in her arms.
“Did you have a nightmare?” she asks, some minutes after.
“No” you simply answer.
“Why couldn't you sleep so?”
“I don’t know.”
Alexia knows that you’re lying, and she hates it. But she doesn’t say anything, knowing that you will talk about it when you are ready. Some minutes passes before you talk again.
“I’m just scared” you whisper in the darkness of your room.
“About what?”
Her voice learns you that she’s not sleepy at all. Maybe she decided to stay awake as long as you’re not sleeping. She raises herself a little bit, to have a better look at you.
“Losing you”
Your voice is a whisper, but Alexia reacts like if you were screaming, almost jumping from her place in the bed.
“Why would you lose me?”
You shrug, but Alexia doesn’t have it. She looks at you, waiting for you to give her a proper answer. You take your time to choose your words, scared of starting a fight. You try to escape the real discussion once again.
“I don’t know, it’s just my insecurities I guess.”
“Talk to me, mi Amor. Please”
You look at her and sit down, feeling like you have to look properly at her for this kind of things. Alexia sits too, her beautiful eyes looking deeply at you.
“I’m scared to never be enough for you again. I’m not saying that I was at one time, but right now… What if you never se me again like someone… I don’t know how to say it without being cringe.”
You roll your eyes, tired of yourself. Alexia shows you once again how much she can be patient though, taking your hand in hers to interlink your fingers together.
“I don’t want to be your poor injured girlfriend for the end of our life. I want you to see me as someone who can take one of our long walk again, someone who you can do everything you want with. Someone you can touch the way you like without being scared of hurting.”
Alexia is looking at you closely, listening every one of you word with deep care.
“When I hurt my knee, were you seeing me like someone reduced?”
“Of course not” you frown.
“Well it’s just the same thing for me. I don’t see you as my injured girlfriend, I see you as the love of my life that I almost lost some weeks before.”
“But my body isn’t the same anymore, Ale”
“Your scars will only remind me everyday how lucky I am to have you and how much I love you. And I will kiss them everyday to remind me of that.”
Raising slowly her hand on your cheek, she starts to stroke it softly, but her eyes are full of love when she looks at you. Deep, sincere love. Then she kisses you before taking you slowly in her arms again, making you lye on her.
“You can sleep tight mi Amor. I’ll always be here.”
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rileyslibrary · 6 months
Note
can you maybe do something where like, things simon does when he realizes he’s falling for you? :,)
Let me start by saying that I see Simon as someone more accustomed to others falling for him than the other way around. Like, he is the one who tends to be pursued rather than being the pursuer, if you know what I mean? I don’t know why but I feel he doesn’t have to put too much effort into wooing someone (and he probably knows that). A tall, beefy dude with a rugged appearance and that voice of his? The guy has it easy.
Now, what if he’s the one who falls for someone first? Aha! Well, He doesn’t even realise he has feelings for you, but they manifest in other ways, mainly through actions.
Ghost, as your lieutenant, for example, starts assigning you to low-risk missions or insists on accompanying you to ensure you’re safe.
In a more personal context, Simon offers to pick you up from your home so you don’t have to walk or take public transportation. He might even escort you to your car at night to protect you.
He tells you jokes he thinks you’d enjoy. He absolutely loves it when you laugh; he feels defeated when you roll your eyes and even a bit salty when you already know the joke (or fail to “get” it.)
He pays close attention to the details. He remembers your favourite food, how you like your coffee/tea, and your pet’s name. No, he won’t cook for you (yet), but he’s taking mental notes, studying you.
However, he’s not aware of what he’s doing exactly (or why he’s doing it, for that matter). It’s not until the rest of the team notices and insinuates that there’s something more between you two that he comes face to face with his emotions. Emotions he’s not ready to accept yet.
He rejects the idea that he has developed feelings for you and hopes that by suppressing ignoring them, they’ll fade away. But, as my boy Freud once said, “unexpressed emotions never die; they are buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways.”
He begins distancing himself from you. He rebuilds the walls you once torn down and returns to treating you just like everyone else. He had people he loved before, and it’s only brought him pain. His past experiences have left deep scars, and he’s determined not to go through that again. He’s not just doing it just for himself, though; he also wants to protect you from him and the pain.
Him. Pain. What’s the difference?
You, on the other hand, pick up on his behaviour but don’t confront him about it. “You know how the lieutenant is,” they once told you. “Sometimes he’s all jokes, other times he’s just business.” Maybe, you think, he needs his space. So you begin mirroring his actions, pulling away and giving what he seemingly wants.
But he secretly doesn’t want you to do that. Contrary to what he hoped to achieve by distancing himself from you and, therefore, from his feelings for you, he falls even harder.
Once cocky and arrogant, now he’s insecure. He starts projecting his fears onto you, feeling that you’re the one pulling away, even though you’re merely respecting his unspoken need for space.
So he confronts you. He wants an explanation for the change in your demeanour. And you? Well, you tell him the truth; you thought he needed some space. Right?
Who knows. Maybe you were just respectful. Perhaps you were giving him a taste of his own medicine.
It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that he gets it now. Running away from his feelings or those he cares about doesn’t work, just like ignoring his emotions won’t make them disappear. On the contrary, they directly affect both him and you.
Of course, he doesn’t admit it. No, he wouldn’t be caught dead doing that.
Yet, he decides to (re)open up to you, this time gradually, bit by bit, at his own pace. Just for a chance that this calculated, ruthless operator that many perceive him to be can finally transform into a genuinely emotionally invested human being for the first time.
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mcflymemes · 11 days
Text
AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN, updated version  *  assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy, adjust as necessary
i can't find any hard evidence.
good luck, [name]. maybe they'll listen to you.
i'm coming with you.
sometimes it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work.
i just couldn't take it anymore.
maybe i can get the job done my way for a change.
if you're wrong, we'll pay for it. but if you're right, and we did nothing, i think we'd regret it a whole lot more.
i thought you were dead.
it sure is good to see a friendly face.
at least it's not hard to find criminals here. all i have to do is point my gun and shoot.
my feelings got in the way of my better judgement.
i'll make you a deal. you get me out of here alive, and i'll tell you the whole damn thing.
nobody would give me a mirror. how bad is it?
don't make me laugh, damn it.
some women find facial scars attractive.
i'm fit for duty whenever you need me.
when i got to the meeting point, no one was there.
kill you? no. but i don't mind slowing you down a little.
what do you want from me, [name]?
i know you want to talk about this... but i don't. not yet.
it's so much easier to see the world in black and white. gray... i don't know what to do with gray.
my instincts are what got me into this mess.
never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.
well, why the hell not? there's nobody in this galaxy i respect more than you.
if we can figure out a way to make it work, then... yeah. definitely.
you're about the only friend i've got left in this screwed-up galaxy.
you don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable.
i brought wine.
your hair looks... good. and your waist is... very supportive.
hopefully that's not offensive in human culture.
i want something to go right. just once.
think you can win this thing, [name]?
i'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns... and lots of them.
so... is this the part where we shake hands?
the scars are starting to fade. i remember they drove you wild.
i've been doing some more research on human customs.
glad to know my romantic skills made an impression.
let's not go there.
i can afford the good stuff.
what about you? i'm starting to see some wear and tear.
don't forget to come up for air. and not just because all these people need you. because i need you.
if you're suggesting i'm scared... game on.
still trying to make me blush, huh?
i'd be lying if i said i didn't hope it would inspire a certain... mood.
it seemed like you needed time to... figure us out.
the worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again.
not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. just saying some of us know how to make it dance.
i've actually seen you dance. no comment.
i know there are other things you're good at.
probably not a lot of air in here. an hour if we're lucky.
so tell me. think a girl would fall for that?
it gets even better when you try it in bed.
you don't lack for places to get lost.
did we break anything last night?
you'll find a way to win. and when this is over, i'll be waiting for you.
if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there... meet me at the bar. i'm buying.
forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you.
come back alive. it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.
we're in this 'til the end.
we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.
looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.
if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.
oh crap!
guess he didn’t like the food.
looks like we got the jump.
pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.
we won’t get a second chance.
that was me, sorry.
nothing like being stranded.
we’ll do more than that.
just the usual minor flesh wound.
what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?
i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.
stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.
drinks will be on me.
one of my favorite places to fight!
i’m hard to kill. you should know that.
it’s gonna be bad all over.
for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.
you’ve waited long enough for this day.
just wait ‘til this war is over.
you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.
maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?
how do i not have one of those?
surprise on our side for once. i like it.
brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.
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Text
Smoking virgin // Matty Healy x reader
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Summery: Matty teaches you how to be a perfect party guest.
warnings: 18+ mdni
Masterlist
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The sound of the car doors slamming shut is immediately replaced by the pulsating bass of the music thumped through the air. You and your best friend Jenna arrive at the party, that’s been planed over months now. Jenna dragged you here because she’s been talking your ears off every day of every week. You know that some guy is the only reason she wanted to go and at least she’s experienced at how to act. You don’t.
You never go to party’s, you never get drunk,smoke or take drugs. Jenna is already drunk and she’s stumbling towards the entrance, leaning on you for support. “Gosh, I hope he’s here and he’s down.” You hear Jenna say but you don’t respond, Your gaze is turned towards the beer bottles which are being kicked around by some men. Drunk men.
Jenna takes two cups from the guy who greets you, then she hands one to you. “Have some, will do you gooood.” She laughs and you give her a tiny smile to assure her she doesn’t have to worry about you.
You make your way through the crowd, to the kitchen to get yourself an overview over the party. You know a handful of people which you’ve all said hello to. There are two people you have not seen yet. George and Matty. Jenna introduced you to them a few months ago and they had your complete attention.
Not only did you find them attractive, but the way they speak is fascinating. They are smart with the words they use. Off stage or on stage Matty’s intelligence and magnetism never fails to captivate those around him. Which is why Matty is your favorite. However you also hear things. How he gets around and has a new girl every week. He’s hot and everyone knows that and you’re a girl who is as innocent as a pair of newborn kittens frolicking in a field of daisies.
Your friends hands on your shoulders rip you from your daydream. “I’m gonna find Aaron and I’m gonna shoot my shot. You’re fine here right?” Before you can answer she is across the room anyway, waving her arms to her music “have fun!” she screams.
“She looks like she’s having fun,” you recognize the voice, because it doesn’t only go straight to your head but to your core as well. “Unlike you. Think you need something stronger than that.” You turn your head to the boy with the dark curls and the dark shirt.
“Here,” he hands you a bottle of liquor while offering you a kind smile and you take it from him. Your hand touches his as you take the bottle and take a sip. “Thanks,” you mumble before wiping your mouth with your sleeve.
“She just left you alone or?” Matty asks with a smirk on his face and you laugh while shaking your head. “Yeah, she’s on a mission,” you wiggle your eyebrows before handing him the bottle again.
“S’ means you won’t see her again tonight.” You know he’s right, if Jenna isn’t already with the guy, she’ll most definitely stay with him the whole night. “Tell you what, let’s have our own fun, come with me.”
Matty looks cold with his outfit being all black plus the scar he’s wearing. Only few centimeters away and you smell the acrid, stale, lingering smell of his cigarettes. You’ve never had one but because Matty smokes one every 10 minutes it has become a smell of comfort.
He leads you outside the house, into the garden where only a few people hangout. Most of them are smoking or making out. Matty doesn’t stop, he makes the way around the house to a quiet spot.
You sit down on a not so high wall. Matty sits down and puts the bottle next to him. Then he throws the end of his cigarette on the ground. He hands you a new one before lighting his own. You observed how he lit his cigarette, it’s easy. He hands you his lighter.
You put the white side between your lips and flick the lighter. It doesn’t light though. There’s just smoke. Shit this is so embarrassing. Matty laughed at you “fucks sake, this your first time?”
You nod at him but avoid his gaze. He takes the lighter from your hand which makes you think he’s done hanging out with you if you can’t even smoke properly. But when he takes your cigarette and puts it between your lips again, you feel giddy.
“When I light the cigarette you need to suck hard enough to produce a decent amount of smoke in your mouth, which you then can inhale down into your lungs.” You follow his eyes as he explains this.
“The first time you breathe in the smoke don’t inhale down your lungs, push the smoke out. Then the cig is ready.” Your breath is shaky but it’s not a big deal, smoking. Matty asks you if you’re ready and you are.
He lights the cigarette and you do as he says, you suck the smoke in. Maybe a little too hard because the smoke goes into your lungs. You start coughing real bad and Matty just smiles at your try.
“Happens, try again,” you take the cigarette and try on your own. It’s not as bad as the first time but it’s not great either. You again have to cough as you exhale the smoke. “Shit,” you mumble. You let the cig rest between your pointing and middle finger.
“Your body definitely doesn’t want to inhale smoke. The more you do it the more your lungs will start getting used to the harshness of the smoke.” He’s already on his second cigarette and you slowly don’t have to cough every time you inhale.
Now you exhale the smoke again but this time you feel dizzy. You want to lay down because you feel like you’re going to faint. Matty notices, “you’re havin’ a nicotine shock. Don’t worry it’s gonna go away.”
You believe him. “Thanks,” you say and hold up the cigarette, “for teaching me.” He grins and lifts your chin with his thumb.
“I’ll teach you anythin’ you want love.” You take him by his word. Suddenly you feel more relaxed and more confident. You start saying words trying to explain what you want.
“Words please, can’t do shit if you don’t tell me what you want.” God. You hate him for being so attractive.
“There’s just,” you breathe, “people exchange smoke sometimes. You know one person breathes the smoke into the mouth of the other. I just, maybe we could.” You blush and you’re very sure he notices. Matty lights something that looks like a cigarette but it’s thicker.
“You mean shotgunning.” Matty grins from ear to ear because he do knows you find him attractive. What you don’t know is that Matty finds it so hot you’re that innocent. “It’s a joint, you don’t do that with cigarettes.” Now you’re nervous, but the booze is getting to your head and the smoke and Matty fucking Healy.
“I’m gonna take a drag, hold the smoke in, flip the joint, which means you’re gonna take the joint in your mouth then I’m gonna blow the smoke through the joint while you’re hitting it.” Sounds fun as well but that’s not what you meant. You want direct contact with Matty’s smoke not through a joint.
You don’t really want to smoke that as well. Cigarettes are enough for now. He takes a drag and you hesitate. “I don’t think I want that.” He looks at you, not in an angry way but he’s very understanding.
“ ‘s fine, thought you wanted to share smoke.” It’s a dream even sitting here with him, he’s way out of your league.
“I do!” It comes our way too fast and way too enthusiastic. “Just not through a joint you know.” Now he gets it and now he really smiles.
“I see,” he changes his position, so he faces you with his entire body. “Then it’s just the same for you, just inhale the smoke and let me do the rest.” You nod and he gets closer to you every second. You open your mouth but you don’t dare to close your eyes.
Matty takes the smoke inside his mouth and holds it, he comes close to you and lifts your head. You feel his face and then you feel his lips grazing yours. Your breath hitches but you don’t have time to recover because now you feel smoke entrancing your mouth. You inhale the smoke but you still feel Matty’s lips on yours.
“Don’t forget to exhale sweetheart,” he removes his face and the smoke comes out of your mouth through a big cough. What is he doing to you. You don’t know if it’s the smoke that’s in your body or butterflies. Either way its an amazing feeling, but it riles you up.
“Again.” It comes out as a surprise to the both of you, but you do want that again. You want to feel his lips brushing against yours, you’re getting addicted.
“Yeah? Wanna do it again?” This time he pulls you closer by your waist. His hand remains on your side. “Liked it this much?” You nod and lick your lips, you keep a gap for the smoke and this time you close your eyes.
“Jesus-“ you hear Matty say before you feel him in front of your face again. His lips touching yours ever so slightly again, then you feel the smoke again. You open your eyes and exhale the smoke next to Matty’s face. You stay there, looking at each other. Matty’s eyes drop to your lips. You can’t stand the tension.
“Had your first kiss right?” You nod but don’t tell him that your last kiss was a year ago. “Good.” He says while crashing his lips to yours. He’s too strong, that’s why you let yourself lean back so you’re laying on the grass and Matty on top of you.
His hands find its way under your shirt, feeling your naked skin. You gasp into his mouth at the contact of his cold hands. An excuse for Matty to graze his tongue against yours. It’s hot and it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. One hand is in Matty’s hair while the other is on his back pressing him even closer. He gets the attempt and grinds his bulge into you. “Shit,” you moan while your head rolls back. Your neck on open display for Matty. His mouth trails down your neck, to your shoulder. Then he lifts your shirt and trails wet kisses up your stomach to your breasts. “You’re fucking beautiful.”
You feel like a teenager. Making out on some meadow at a random party with a really hot guy.
Matty’s mouth finds yours once again, his hand trailing down your stomach finding the zipper of your jeans. “Can I?” Is this really happening, you close your eyes and open them to know that you’re not dreaming.
“Yes please,” he opens the zipper and slips his hand under your panties. You groan and buck up against his hand. “Relax, m’gonna make you feel so good.” He slips one finger through your folds.
The sound that escapes him at feeling the wetness between your legs makes you clench your thighs together. Matty gently pries your legs apart again, continuing his slow movements. He brushes his long fingers lightly over your clit— but not enough to give you the pressure you need. You can’t help but whine, already eager for more.
“So needy,” he mumbles. You feel his weight over you as he kisses you deeper, and then starts rubbing your swollen clit. You moan into his mouth, bucking your hips. Your back arches against him as he pushes one finger inside, going deeper than you ever managed yourself.
“Good?” You can’t give him a proper answer but your panting tells him it’s good. He pumps slowly a few times, then pulls all the way out and inserts two. Your hands pull his lips against yours again, enjoying his composure. Matty grinds his hips against your leg.
The feeling of his fingers inside of you is overwhelming you at the best. You clench around him as he is hitting the spot over and over again. “C’mon baby, wanna feel you.” He whispers and god he turns you on more and more.
“Holy shit,” you gasped, he has you where he wants you, you coming around his fingers. You moan and your hand goes from his hair to your mouth, trying to cover every sound that leaves your mouth. He rides out your orgasm and pulls his finger from you, taking them into his mouth.
“Taste like heaven sweetheart, shit,” you watch him and then he leans down and kisses you again. You can taste yourself on his tongue and shit you never want to leave ever again. Matty palms himself through his jeans but his mouth won’t leave yours. “So good baby,” he mumbles out, but a loud scream makes you both pull away.
“OH- MY- GOD,” shit. You quickly zip up your pants and stand up. Matty’s pupils are fucking enlarged and his hair is messy. You don’t want to know what you look like. While you are embarrassed and want to sink into the ground, Matty has a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Here,” he hands you a cigarette and a lighter. “Take that, you’ll need it. Besides you have to give me the lighter back eventually.” He winks. He fucking winks, takes the bottle and walks away.
Worst timing ever goes to your best friend. “Oh my god,” she repeats, “you and Matty. Girl you better tell me everything.” It’s gonna be a long fucking night.
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justagirlwholikesadam · 2 months
Text
Pornstar! Sandor - Headcanons
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not my pics
Warning: big hairy man, mention of twitter, porn star, reader is female, masturbating, use of sex toy, people being thirsty online, voice making people cum, big dick Sandor.
A/n: I want him so bad. Depending on the feedback, I might do a second part, including the reader. Enjoy-L
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Pornstar! Sandor goes by the name The Hound and is only online. He never shows his face, only his body. The people who knew him, knows why. 
Pornstar! Sandor has a following of 1.2 million people on Twitter. They are all infatuated by his big body and big hands. The comments on his page are filled with people asking him to destroy them with his 8.5in dick. They ask him to choke them with his big hands. 
Pornstar! Sandor has a big and strong chest that’s covered with dark coarse hairs, it tracks all the way down to his belly and hits the jackpot below, between his legs. 
Pornstar! Sandor is a lumberjack on his days off when he’s not jacking off in front of millions. He doesn’t cum for days until he records a new video. He gives with the people want and they want to see him blow a huge load. 
Pornstar! Sandor sometimes does videos with only his voice! His voice is deep and rough. “Touch that fuckin cunt for me, little bird.” He even throws some for the guys too and they become feral for him even more. They want a big hairy daddy. “Open your ass boy, let me see that hole.” He groans and moans drives the people crazy.
Pornstar! Sandor has videos of him using a pussy sleeve, his followers get jealous when he fills the toy up with his cum. He even shows it to the camera, showing his audience his thick and white cum dripping from the abused hole of the toy. 
Pornstar! Sandor's profile picture on Twitter is of him sitting on his dark green couch, with his legs spread wide. He’s manspreading and his flaccid cock is hanging between his legs. His thick arms are crossed over his hairy chest and his beard is long enough that it can be seen in the picture. 
Pornstar! Sandor is his own boss, he has had offers to tons of companies in the porn industry. He wants to be on his own, dealing with his own money and creating content when he wants to. Plus he didn’t want to deal with anyone because of his scarred and burned face. 
Pornstar! Sandor rarely looks at his DMs, mostly because it’s just messages of people wanting to fuck him and tell him how hot he is. He just shakes his head because they won’t say it once they see his face. 
Pornstar! Sandor is in bed, he can’t go to sleep so he decides to go on Twitter and look at his DMs. Scrolling a few messages he stops when he sees a message. It’s not too sexual but a simple, “Hello, The Hound. I hope you have an amazing day today as always thank you for uploading today's new video. I always finish with a smile on my face.” 
Pornstar! Sandor clicks on your profile and he bites his bottom lip when he sees your picture. You are a sight for sore eyes, a pretty thing. Your smile and your eyes, he’s looking at the top you’re wearing. He looks at your page to see other pictures of you. He’s breathing heavily as he continues to scroll on your page. 
Pornstar! Sandor glances over to look at his clock on the nightstand by his bed. It’s 3am and he wonders if you are awake or even in the same time zone as him. He clicks on the little envelope across your profile picture. 
Pornstar! Sandor hits send when he writes back to you and goes back to your page. All he can do is wait, right? Nah, he’s already naked, that’s how he sleeps. He grabs his cock with his right hand as he uses your picture to get off. 
186 notes · View notes
heartsforhavik · 4 months
Text
clean (sub zero, scorpion x reader)
warnings: self harm, slight angst to comfort
pairings: bi-han and kuai liang x gn reader (separate)
a/n: this is a bit self indulgent, i am now 10 months clean as of today. i usually don’t write kuai liang, but i thought he’d be one of the most comforting characters to have by your side. i hope this can provide some comfort to those struggling.
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(please read the warning before you continue.)
bi-han walked into your bedroom and saw you looking down at your old wounds. they looked to be self-inflicted, as they were all faded straight lines covering your arms.
bi-han is no stranger to scars. as the grandmaster of the lin kuei, he has grown used to the injuries he gains in kombat.
but he was not aware you had scars of your own. especially self-inflicted ones.
“beloved?”
you quickly hid your arms as soon as you heard your boyfriend’s voice.
“good evening, bi-han. how are you?” you asked, pretending he saw nothing.
he went up to you and gently grabbed your arm, taking a closer look at your scars.
“what is this…?” he asked. he already knew the answer, but he hoped he was wrong.
you went quiet. there was an uncomfortable silence between you two, as the only sounds you could hear were his deep breaths and the wind blowing outside.
“a few months ago…” you took a deep breath, preparing for the worst. “i… wasn’t doing very well. so i resorted to the only thing i thought i deserved. i felt like such an idiot at the time. i was making so many mistakes, so i just decided to give myself a… punishment. i haven’t done it since, i swear-”
your boyfriend interrupted you by pulling you in for a hug. he knew you were most likely better now. but would hate for you to think he doesn’t care about your feelings.
“if you ever feel that way again, please let me know.” bi-han whispered, holding you tight. he never cared about someone like this before. and now that he’s had a taste of what it’s like to love, he doesn’t wish to part from it.
he has also never been in your shoes, so he wants to comfort you as best as he can. but he doesn’t exactly know how to comfort someone, so he hopes he can hold you in his arms and it’ll be enough.
you are enough. he just wants you to know that. even if he has to remind you over and over. even if he ever loses his temper and you get into a fight. he would still love you. he always will. bi-han cherishes you as one of the only people that truly make him happy, so he hopes what happened to you in the past won’t have to happen again.
-
kuai liang felt sick when he saw your scars. he hoped they were old. but whether they were old or new, he should let you know that if something was going on, he would be there for you.
he wanted to tell you that immediately.
“my love..?” kuai liang called out, trying to hold back tears. he tried not to cry, knowing this was about you, not him. but he couldn’t help but feel a wave of sadness wash over him at the thought of you hurting yourself. he cared about you so much, his biggest fear was losing you.
“yes? is there something wrong?” you asked.
upon seeing you, kuai liang immediately embraced you as if he hadn’t seen you in years.
“do you understand how much i love you? i will always be here for you. at your happiest and lowest. no matter what, i will always help you when there is something wrong. even if i cannot solve the problem, you know i will do whatever i can.” he whispered, as he looked you in your eyes, the ones that he loved very dearly.
“what is this about?” you asked nervously.
“i saw your injuries…” kuai liang mumbled.
his gaze fell down to your arms. there were so many scars littered across your skin. they were faded, but that doesn’t mean they were never there.
“i just…” kuai liang sighed. “…wanted to let you know that i am always here for you, if you ever feel that way again. i am so sorry that your emotions drove you to the point of self-harm. i am not judging, but i do not it to happen again. i’ll do everything i can to prevent it.”
you were better. you had no desire to harm yourself again. sometimes the thought pops into your head every now and then, but you refuse. even though you were better, you still appreciated kuai liang’s support and determination to prevent it from ever happening again.
“it’s been 10 months.” you mumbled, sitting down against the wall.
kuai liang gave you a ‘hm?’ sound, as he sat down next to you.
“today marks 10 months since i last did it. i’m 10 months clean, kuai liang.” you explained.
“i’m proud of you. let’s make sure that number doesn’t go down, okay?” he encouraged, patting your back as a sign of support.
“yeah.. i try. i always try.” you admitted, leaning your head on his shoulder.
“i know, my love. i know.” kuai liang smiled, giving you a kiss on the forehead. he truly was proud of you. you were so strong, and he admired your honesty throughout the conversation. he understood that your past was difficult, but he believed that someone’s past does not define who they are.
even though you have been through tragedy, your existence is not a tragedy.
kuai liang accepts you wholeheartedly, and he’ll always be there to support you.
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