#i hope my little screenshot is clear enough i don't think its clear at all actually

[konfizry]

Renans and their names

So. This “formative background” bit makes it sound like Renan names give information on the person’s.... skills? But that doesn’t seem to be the case, if you look at the little info they give you in the materials guide. 

Renan full names are more or less confirmed to be Helganquil code put in place for classification purposes. The meanings of Shionne, Dohalim and Vholran’s names are given in their respective character sheets. Below is a tentative breakdown of the names with their translation. 

[[Transcript of the above image:

シオン・ヴィメル・アイメリス・ダイモ 

Shion Vimeru Aimerisu Daimo (localized Shionne Vymer Imeris Daymore)

meaning Shionne, 33rd gen, Imer lineage, Dayn ethnicity. 

テュオハリム・メルケル・イルルケリス・ナアモ

Tyuoharimu Merukeru Irurukerisu Naamo (localized Dohalim Melqal il Qaras Na'amo by @IdyllicTales on twitter)

meaning Dohalim, 32nd gen, il Qu clan, Naha ethnicity.

ヴォルラーン・ライ・アングサリ・ライモ

Voruraan Rai Angusari Raimo  (localized Vholran Lai Igniseri Laimore (i had to improvise the Lai and Laimore part myself don’t hit me))

meaning Vholran, gen N/A, special adjustment index, ethnicity: N/A

End of transcript]]

thus, Renan naming structure seems to go as follows: Given name, generation number, family line, ethnicity. 

(typically, in-game and in the guide, the translation is given in reverse order, commencing with the general (ethnicity) going towards the specific (given name)

e.g. “Ethnicity: N/A, Unique Adjustment Index, Generation: N/A, Given Name Alphen”)

Following this pattern, Alphen would be Alphen Lai Igniseri Laimore in Helganquil code. (if you remember, in the Forbidden Zone computer room, he’s given the same “Ethnicity: N/A, Unique Adjustment Index, Generation: N/A” treatment as Vholran, given that they’re both Dahnans, so they didn’t get engineerd, scrutinized and classified the way Renans were. So basically every Dahnan’s name is <Given Name> Lai Igniseri Laimore as far as the Helganquil are concerned)

Now. About this Nth Generation business...

Like, Dohalim is from the 32nd generation since... when exactly? The establishment of Lenegis as a place of living for Renans? Meaning that that first batch of kidnapped Dahnans with astral artes affinity that became the first Renans would have been 1st generation? That seems to make some amount of sense. If a generation is something like about 25 years give or take, that would mean the First Renans were established on Lenegis something like 800 years ago. Thus, when Alphen was brought to Lenegis, people had been living there for a good 500 years. I dunno about y’all but I’m willing to believe it. 

If that’s the case, we can theorize Naori’s full name to have been Naori <Helganquil for≈20> Imeris Daymore. Isn’t this Fun!

#arise resources #tales of arise #obviously no self respecting dahnan would call themselves that full name #and like honestly i wonder what kind of relationship a Renan finding out their name's true meaning would have with it #your name's secret meaning is......... #White individual of the McSandwich lineage's 87th generation commonly called Kayleigh #anyway anyway this is making me want to branch out on Lenegis again but we know thats another can worms #The family line descriptor used for shionne’s full name translation is 系統 while for Dohalim it’s 氏系 #what do we do with this information? i don't know #i don't know these words i don't know why twi different vocables were used i don't know anything #i hope my little screenshot is clear enough i don't think its clear at all actually #like. like. #Imeris means Imer lineage in Helganquil #Daymore means Dayn Ethnicity and so on and so forth #of maybe Ethnicity: Dayn #listen idk how helgan works don't look at me we're just having fun and losing our minds here #or* not of*

[bleaksqueak]

Okay! I said I'd do a quick little tut for the chromatic aberration effect to the anon who asked, so here you go. Above is the raw panel, so from here, you'll be duplicating the canvas/panel by choosing "Copy Canvas" from the wrench button. Once copied, paste it into your folder and select the layer options to turn on Clipping Mask to your base panel. If doing the whole canvas, you can just paste as-is

I prefer to duplicate it once in preparation and then again each time I make a change, that way the effect can be toggled on /off or have its opacity lowered to mix with a previous effect if needed. From there, select the magic wand/effects and adjustments menu and click on Add Noise. Important: Pretend I took a screenshot of the drop-down menu, because rats must keep up appearances.

I prefer clouds with maximum octaves and low-no turbulence at a fine scale... however, play with the options and find one you like (or don't use it at all! I like the grain for a mild texture and for harmonizing the art's elements, especially on quick panels or rougher drawings.) I'm going at about 5% here. Just enough to give the desired effect, but not too much.

Once it's to your liking, duplicate your canvas/layer and select your new layer to work off of. On the magic wand menu again, select Chromatic Aberration.

We're working with the displace method, so select that instead of Perspective.

In procreate, the tool works by shifting your cursor in the direction you prefer at the distance you want. I never travel far, and I often use the warm/cold to play off of a reverse of my light source colors. I do that just to create a softened edge and a subtle color pop. Just like with the added noise, I keep the effect on a more subtle side often. Blurring at around 5 - 12 % will give your lines a soft glow and get rid of any (say, hideous pencil lines that you use as inks because you hate inking. Not that I do that. Not me.) Transparency can be bumped up or left alone, does what it says on the tin and strengthens the effect or subdues it.

Now, you might find some important detail is now too hazy? Too blurry? Too CHROMBERRATED? If so, gently erase what you want to be crisp. For Maia here, I just erased the front hair curls and her eyelashes.

Keep it or erase it, it's up to you. Play around and see what you like. Now, once all is said and done, and you like the effect, adding a few specular pops of light on a new layer can aid with bringing back in some focal points. Eye color, rim lighting, or just a couple of little metallic flecks. I use the light pen tool for this when feeling lazy, but you can use any brush you like, either on a raw Normal layer or on any of the light adjugement style layers. I chose a pale green to compliment the warm, red hues and balance the bluish shadow in her hair. Just a tiny little speck on her glasses, lips and on the rim light of her nose just to keep the anchor points of her face clear. Don't over do it (unless you want to, in that case, by all means, the light is yours to command.)

And that's the final. Hidden in the darkest shadows of voidcraft, I applied a textured brush to my canvas on Overlay because I do that for every comic page. Except for those that I forget, may their tears one day dry.

I hope that helps! The effect is subtle on this panel, but the desired effect to soften and marry the art, thus fooling the viewer's eye into thinking I super meticulously rendered this with careful prim and polish, is achieved! Hooray!

#solivaga #pu art #tutorial #art resources #art process #procreate #comic panel #digital art #artists on tumblr #art reference #mmmmmmmmaia #sorry about my handwriting

[oikiri]

So what happened exactly? (and a little timeline from what I have observed)

It started around March. AJ/Dilan was talking to Inquisitor3 (Vincent) on discord since she did some edits for him and I think he just wanted to be nice to her. Later on she already tried to expose him after trying to get him to flirt back to her which was I think her first attempt at exposing him (cue several screenshots of her talking to Tito mentioning they tried to expose/cancel him before and it didn't work & screenshots of him calling out AJ/Dilan in DMs because he saw her attempt at doing so.

Now, I don't know how long she's been scheming this whole thing along with Tito (her boyfriend) but from screenshots between them it's clear it's been months.

Tito encourages her to try harder because they don't have enough "proof"/enough entrapment material to set him up.

During this conversation Tito not only supports her and further pushes her to do so, AJ/Dilan isn't stupid, she is also quite obsessed with the idea of cancelling him.

She mentions hes live and mentions she needs someone called "Pippy" to answer back to her [for further planning I suppose but this person may be involved in this too].

Tito mentions he wants to speak to his other parent about AJ/Dilan so they know about her --> Dilan barely acknowledges that and then jumps straight back to talking about Inquisitor3. Then asks her own boyfriend if its okay if she "flirts" with Inquisitor3.

Very strange dynamic they have but even further proof that she is obsessed with him.

They message Keegan's Mask on tiktok, she tries to "help" apparently (I take it as being purposefully happy about someone in the community getting cancelled as her previous videos have been bordering on roasting/bullying other content creators in the hopes of being funny) and she makes a video of him. Now she has almost 300k followers and her fanbase picks it up rather quickly.

It blows up and Inquisitor3 deactivates all of his accounts.

What happens next?

I personally went onto tiktok to find some videos addressing the whole issue. Most of the videos I find aren't really viral so I check the comments.

I see someone commenting in all caps "IM THE GIRL HE WAS TALKING TO" (don't quote me on that I don't know if she wrote minor or girl but this was about it).

Her replies were full of support but I found her comment incredibly weird and off-putting.

There were many comments so I scrolled further down and saw Turkish Terminator's comment (same one who made the video explaining the situation so kudos to him for knowing all of this before and trying to tell people) that he was talking about AJ and her using slurs and what not.

So this brings me back to my original thought as to how this AJ person is this involved and proud about being the person in question and then also being someone who is problematic on whole other levels.

Meanwhile Tito is bragging in comments about how it's his girlfriend that was targeted.

Three days ago Inquisitor3's tiktok account is back up. He's on live for several hours but I couldn't join.

I commented on one of his recent videos asking for clarification and update about the accusations just to a few hours later receive a reply in which someone stated that he's dead.

Inquisitor3 had been on live for around 2 hours with nothing but silence, the room was mostly dark and the camera was facing his glass door. The comments were off. Keegans Mask meanwhile was making fun of this same live.

After 2 hours or so, someone breaks the glass in, pushes inside and you can hear the panic in his voice as he tries helping Vincent (Inquisitor3). This goes on for a while as more neighbours come around to help I suppose? They call paramedics and it's all caught on live until they turn it off.

So lets circle back. AJ came forward to say that the accusations were false.

Tito pretended he wasn't involved at all.

And Keegans Mask made a tiktok wistfully looking out the window as if a man hasn't just ended his life on tiktok live.

AJ immediately went into hiding right after, changed her discord username and responded to a comment on one of her tiktok accounts that she's been crying and praying all night for him and didn't want any of that to happen.

Meanwhile Vincent's real life friends/mutuals came forward to confirm that he has passed and Turkish Terminator made the video about him explaining the situation further for everyone's understanding and naming all three involved in these accusations and set up: AJ, Tito and Keegans Mask (which I think was the right thing to do.) Yes, Keegans Mask may not have been part of the set up but she is just as wrong.

So why did this happen?

In my opinion AJ is/was obsessed with Vincent. I think that is why Tito also played into it because it bothered him without him openly mentioning or confirming this fact. From their exchanges it's very clear of how she ignored Tito to obsess over Vincent. Ultimately she did all this because she wahted his attention.

Later that day Vincent's father also came forward to confirm his sons passing with a video.

Turkish Terminator made another video confirming this also and has been in contact with Vincent's father to make sure his source is right unlike some other people.

Now the community is obviously shaken up and upset and due to AJ's hiding she's lucky she's not getting tagged in most videos addressing these things. Minor or not she was the main culprit and needs to face consequences for pushing a man to end his life.

I cannot even begin to mention how it bothers me that in most videos now people only mention Tito and Keegans Mask or simply call Dilan Titos girlfriend. She needs to be named too.

All three have posted "apology videos" yet I find they lack responsibility and empathy.

Dilan deleted her apology account quickly again and Keegans Mask is currently deactivated. Tito still pretends to be mostly innocent and pretends to have broken up with Dilan and say that her accounts have been removed (which are lies).

She's also back on discord and chats with people claiming she wants to end it and Tito claims she attempted, yet the conversations that I have seen from her make it visible that she lacks any empathy in this situation still and sees herself as the victim.

I'm not here for a witch hunt I am simpy here to explain what I've observed and want these people included to face serious consequences.

Screenshots incoming soon as I am still collecting the ones I've seen floating around + extra ones and I'm currently at the beach with the worst internet connection.

#Inquisitor3 #inquisitor #ghost #ghost cosplay #cod ghost cosplayer #cod #tiktok #cod community #keegans mask #titoisactingbadly #call of duty #call of duty cosplay #call of duty cosplay community #tiktok Inquisitor3

[sylvaridreams]

I cut out some off topic chatter and fixed a couple typos but otherwise this is copy paste from discord, followed by some more from just me. Diving into Alba, his status as a leader and symbolic figure, his relationships with friends and lovers, and his relationship with himself.

(Long post ahead.)

Dama: tbqh i'm wondering how much longer his relationship with canach can or will last.... they love each other but the conditions keep getting more and more strained it feels like. now alba's vanished again…

Sage: I was wondering that too actually like. Wondering how strong it can last, esp since things were pretty separate for eod and haven't exactly gotten better since

Dama: canach maybe tries to find him during this... like alba was notably in the grove, giving interviews, canach tries to get ahold of him (maybe they had plans for later) and alba just never responds or shows up. stands him up and canach's like ok. well i can wait, he's probably having one of his moments.

Dama: and then weeks pass and nothing.

Dama: and then months. at some point he has to assume alba's either dead or just moved on.

Dama: letters not only being ignored but coming back return to sender. 🧍‍♂️ like "unable to locate" kind of shit

Dama: it's not like anyone else in what was once dragon's watch knows where he is either

Sage: The only one you'd be able to rely on to track him down is honestly MEISI. And..well.

Dama: my god Ivan is literally the last person who talked to him isn't he (editing note: I don't think Alba even speaks when Zojja uses his comms to call Taimi later.)

Dama: and then these demons start cropping up all over the world and its like. god. things look grim enough with just that but it appears the commander has either died or just left. and he's known for just leaving, and he's also known for doing things to put himself in danger, so. after some time canach probably just... finishes the grieving he's already started years ago, and tries to move on

Dama: i think it would hit alba hard if canach just moved on. 🧍‍♂️ a real blow to the chest.

Sage: The commnach economy is in fucking shambles

Dama: because in HIS head they're a sure thing possibly forever.... yeah i was away for a few months doing wizard shit why would you just assume i was dead?

Dama: "you didn't write me" well i. i. didn't think it would reach you.

Sage: And away for a year before that because of the tiger. And -

Dama: at some point i think canach wouldn't be willing to take him back either. at least not right now. work on yourself a bit man.

Dama: take care of yourself so you don't hurt the next person to fall in love with you.

Sage: Albas fucked up and struggling but canach is allowed to be and feel hurt because good lord.

Dama: canach has been a good sport about it for a long time but he made it clear when they started dating-dating and not just fooling around that he had his own issues and that he had boundaries and limits to what he could help with or tolerate or be around. and alba has pushed those limits almost non stop

Sage: ALBA YOU IDIOT YOU LOST THE 10/10 CACTUS

Dama: (in game screenshot reading…

Alba Moonseeker: Does what make me angry?

Peitha: The fact that everyone doesn't immediately bathe in your excellence.)

Sage: Hope how casual and informally indifferent meisi is with him now on average helps.

Dama: WHY ARENT YOU BATHING IN HIS EXCELLENCE MEISI :cry2:

Sage: Hes been there for it all it wasn't excellent

Sage: Meisis been there for it all from.a little sapling in the vigil to dragons dying to morning a charred corpse on a plateau. He respects alba, he loves alba, he had a crush on him a fuckin millenia ago. But hes never, will never deify alba.

Sage: Even among dragons watch hes a rare gaze that Just Sees a Person.

Dama: a person who can be incredibly shitty as a friend sometimes, lbr

Dama: his "I'd save the village" ass. Liar.

Sage: Probably doesn't even know one of meisis partners might die /s

Sage: Again. Meisi stays. Its more of a headache and a chore than a friendship the last few years but. If his presence does anything to help stabilize alba it is likely worth it. Even for what he has/hasn't done meisi doesn't think he deserves cutoff isolation

Dama: no but fr does he ask meisi how things are, does he take an interest in these things, or is it all take and very little give from him much of the time? you have to tell alba something's up for him to inquire about it, he won't go seeking you out to check on you.... case in point, zojja post-maguuma. his little "i would have loved to have seen her" was such bullshit to me. what stopped you buddy? never once did he Try to go find her. does he know one of meisi's partners might die... probably not, or he doesn't know the full extent of it. i don't think it's a lack of interest in people or anything, i don't think it's fully intentional, but i do think he's kind of selfish and self centered and zoomed in on his own stuff. being a hero. being THE hero.

Dama: "I'd save the village." but you don't know who any of the villagers are beyond the surface level "villager" title. you don't ask how they are. and meanwhile the dragon's champion is razing the next village over because you had to pat yourself on the back again.

Sage: Hes so focused on saving the world hes lost connection with it

Dama: i think at his base alba is a lonely person because he does things to keep himself alone. and that's why he's perfect for heroics and perfect for the pedestals that he gets lifted up onto. the commander, the hero of tyria and amnoon and cantha, the wayfinder. pinning titles to his lapels like war trophies. meanwhile he doesn't know the most base things about his closest friends. doesnt know Zeeki's dying, doesn't know almost anything about Bourbon's backstory, he only knows so much about Auruim because Auru is loud and pushy about rubbing alba's face in things. Thiiyf had to walk away from the Pact, she could have stayed by his side into Lws3 and beyond but she couldn't stand to be involved with him any longer knowing how limited her time was.

Dama: he sees his friends as not caring about him when the world doesn't need saving, well? do you care about your friends? ever?

Dama: dragon's watch is basically defunct with soo won gone -- yeah and i bet these people still make an effort to keep in contact and share things from their lives while he runs around getting hurt and being miserable and bemoaning that no one needs the commander. i love him so much god

Dama: bottom line I think that the guild and others "only reach out when the world needs saving" because. alba doesn't care unless the world needs saving.

Dama: it would be such a funny (not funny) gut punch for him to see how much everyone has moved forward in their personal lives and still stayed connected while he was. doing what? whatever. like he felt like such an outsider with the wizards and all, these guys all know each other and he's just some random from Tyria... but he doesn't know his friends either.

Dama: he's a stranger to them too.

Dama: I think he went to Rama's party primarily because he was desperate and hoping that someone would drop a big adventure on the table for the guild to go conquer as a team.

Dama: i would find it so funny if the next time he sees someone from dragon's watch they showed up with a kid and he's like haha whose baby is this then and they're like ??? commander this is my daughter....? i wrote you a letter when she was born, didn't you... read it? and everyone's quietly uncomfortable because of COURSE he didn't.

Sage: Its sad to think that *meisi* is probably more knowledgeable about what deidre means to Auru god d a m n.

Dama: of course he is, Meisi takes an actual interest in Auruim.

Alba is overall a man desperate for approval and love. He's a bad friend and lover because he only cares when the stakes are world ending, and people don't seem to care about or like him much because Alba doesn't care about or like himself. He's unable to wrap his head around a trolley problem like "would you go kill the dragon's champion on the mountain, or would you save a village from bandits" as a philosophical question because to him the "correct" answer boils down to "which one is going to make people love me?" He wouldn't save the farm, not as long as there was anything bigger and more important to do.

Being elevated to the pedestal of Commander as a sapling and then left up there for over a decade has made him incapable of seeing eye to eye with other people, even friends and lovers, not with his massive ego in the way. In a way I think that 13 years of nonstop warfare has just traumatized him to where he can't see himself as a singular small person, he has to be the face of an army, the face of heroism, and it doesn't help that he’s always going to be the Commander, hero of amnoon, dragon's champion, now wayfinder. Not a person, just a symbol.

SotO has been fascinating because not only is he treated as an outsider to a group of people so close to one another that they're family–outside looking in at healthy, real interpersonal relationships– he's also treated with revile and hatred by people within the fractals that he's "failed" – thinking specifically about the Zaishen and refugees in the Elona fractal. Their version of him failed to do the good deed, kill the big bad, win the wars, and so they hate him, and it's been a LONG time since random innocents have treated Alba that way. It took me back to the start of Lws4 when people were running from the branded attacks on Amnoon, shouting at him "You said this wouldn't happen, you said we were safe, you said you'd protect us and it was over," etc. Forcibly rubbing his face in (a version of) his failures and telling him YOU fucked this one up. The first time in a long time that people who "should" revere his symbol instead spit on it and deny him the love he needs. Maybe that *is* what he needs. To be kicked down and told he's done wrong and he can't fix it. Maybe he needs more failures under his belt, failed attempts, failed relationships, so he can finally value what he has.

I don't know right now if he and Canach will try again later on; currently the plan is that in a few months, Alba will make some sort of contact with his old guild and be told, essentially "we assumed you were dead or had left us, either way we've moved on in these ways and suggest you do too," and Canach will inform him that the same is true for their relationship; i.e. you either died or disappeared again, and I can't keep doing this either way. I've mourned you enough already. Go deal with your problems and learn to treat people who care about you like people who you care about rather than props and side characters to your A-plot.

I could definitely say more on that but I'll wait until I get some lore figured out and posted for Auru and Bourbon for SotO. :)

#loreposting #alba #soto spoilers #canalba

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 3

No doodle this time as I had no ideas, every joke about giant bats sucking has already been done I think. Also I've just realized I lost all my pre battle screenshots due to a emulation mishap so. Oops. We bad at pictures today, sorry.

Anyway. We return to Guardiana to sing our praises and maybe not dwell too much on the fact Gong just died. Resurrection is too a good display of Guardiana's magic. I guess.

We say hi to Mae and Gort and grab their weapons for extra money. We also grab plenty of stuff from the treasure room. The Antidote gets safely tucked in the item box as poison won't be a thing for the next battles. The Angel Wing is against my rules and thus to be sold. The Power Wine and Defense Potion also go to the item box as I don't see the need for them right now.

More importantly, the Rousing Ring. This thing is a gift for giant bat haters everywhere, preventing a character from falling asleep. Unfortunately there's only one in game (unless they show up in deals? but I sure haven't seen them there ever). I give it to Gong because Max is kinda overleveled right now, and Tao and Lowe should not be directly hitting enemies too often.

All the loot we could sell gives us a sizable chunk of money. I check the deals and there's still nothing there. The Guardiana weapon shop is also very disappointing. So it's time to start stocking on Steel Rings as I hoped. And by stocking I mean buy two. Definitely would like to have more, as for now, I move all three to Tao, who is by far the most frail character right now, and next battles will be more open so I don't think Max and Gong will manage to fully protect everyone.

I also replenish everyone's stock of Medical Herbs, which isn't a big deal since we didn't use many.

This is where I should have screenshots to show how absurd Max is getting in stats, his attack is like 20 compared to the others having less than 15, definitely need to let the others catch up on levels. Tao's base defense is 4, which is half of Gong's, the guy who died last battle. You can see now why I want those rings so bad. Especially since I recall now there being more Rune Knights next battle.

We cannot delay meeting them any longer. I save the game, and go on for the glory of Guardiana's Magic School.

The clear bonus is 400 gold for winning in at most 10 turns, almost enough money for another Steel Ring, so I want that, but perhaps I should have learned a lesson from last time. Also I don't think skipping enemies to get to Alterone is worth it, we'd miss a lot of exp. Let actually try to minimize deaths this time.

We have a couple of bats who I think will advance immediately, and a lot of dark dwarves. I would love if they didn't advance, which might mean taking things slowly and missing the bonus. Though they might advance anyway and then I'll feel very stupid. Oh well.

Turn 2, nothing happened. The dwarves indeed don't feel like moving, while the bats have inched closer. Let's see if we can deal with them quickly. I send Max to bait them as his huge stats should shrug off bats without much issue.

They take the bait immediately due to having great agility. Their position annoys me a bit, but at least every other character can hop to beat them up right now.

By characters I mean Tao. Lowe can't reach, and Gong gets dodged because flying enemies Do That A Lot. Tao does level up though, and gets Blaze 2, which is fun and exciting. I will mention though, she has yet to get a single defense point via level up. I'm beginning to wonder if it's ever a thing for her.

Turn 4. Gong has managed to hit the second bat and take more than half its HP so Tao can definitely finish it up after Gong tanks a hit, and he will not fall asleep due to his ring. Let's see if Max can bait some dwarves already, though I have little hope of getting the bonus. I just rather these guys come for Max than anyone else.

The dwarves refuse to come and are instead gathering to block the road, which is the fastest path to Alterone. But I said I wouldn't rush, so perhaps beating them from the forest side I can get some terrain bonuses. Unfortunately they too will be getting the terrain bonuses.

To put it plainly, I don't know what I'm doing.

Turn 6. Whatever I did was good, one dwarf came after while the others are now closer to the road and thus getting less terrain bonuses. Hope they stay that way.

Max and Gong team up flawlessly and Gong's level up makes him seem very determined to not die again.

Man, why did I even want the Demibuster.

Lowe is doing a whole bunch of nothing so I send him to heal Max from all the 1 damages he's been taking.

Everything proceeds smoothly and Tao proves that yes, she can get defense on level ups. Sometimes. Occasionally.

Lowe also gets to do something after Max kindly left a dwarf with 1 HP remaining.

Unfortunately we're at turn 9 with a mass of knights and bats remaining so it's safe to say the bonus is impossible. So let us be as cautious as possible and go through the forest, hoping dispatching the bats before the knights get involved.

The bats get baited and finally some snoozing happens. It's chill though, I legit skipped Max's turn to see if others can get the exp.

Lowe proceed to disappoint me as usual.

Eventually he does land a hit but it doesn't even do half and I don't have that kind of patience, Max reaps the rewards here and his level ups continue to be absolutely wild.

Knights are horrible in forests so I'm hoping it's okay to advance this much. Gong also heals himself for some exp, clearly no useful healing is getting done today.

I mess up again because they can still use the roads! Everyone thank the Steel Rings right now.

Gong is also reaping sweet rewards of his training. The reward is "dying less".

Tao spends her last MP on sweet revenge.

Lowe finally gets a level up from healing Tao, and learns Detox. This never happens in a timely manner on my usual playthroughs.

Nothing else to say, we wipe out the knights in this chill manner, with mostly Max and Gong. I try leaving this final guy for Lowe but Max counters because he's too good to share the spotlight. We're four or five turns beyond the bonus, I didn't pay attention, but the battle itself was pretty easy. I feel this will be a pattern in this playthrough, we're pretty overleveled for this part so we survive well, but with few characters we just don't deal enough damage to wipe the enemies fast enough. Obviously, this is because again I wanted all enemy exp instead of rushing to the objective.

There's only so much I can weep about it right now though. This is Alterone, the town full of loot. So money won't exactly be lacking. I might have one less Steel Ring by the end of the chapter though :(

after like ten minutes maybe more of opening chests, including the one after talking to the king, we have extra herbs, Healing Seed for the late game, another Power Wine and Defense Potion, a Life Loaf that might actually be from Guardiana and I didn't notice, some Middle Swords, plural, and useless wooden weapons, I can't understand why they're here. One Middle Sword manages to make Max more powerful than he already is. The rest of the weapons are going to make us rich as the average Alterone citizen.

The deals section decides to finally have something…

It is an axe. Which no one will use in this run. Also I would love to have data on these special weapons because the Jagged Flash tends to be the most useless of them to me, I don't notice any significant extra damage on flying enemies and flying enemies dodge it all the time anyway. This might be the worst thing we could have possibly rolled. Let's just check the normal weapon shop.

The Demibuster is a whopping 800 gold and actually weaker than the Middle Sword. It will still deal more damage against dark dwarves, but man, Max doesn't need it.

The Voodoo Staff meanwhile is a new weapon exactly between the Wooden and Power Staff. Makes sense, right? It can also poison enemies, which I guess could be useful, if we weren't killing anything in one or two hits anyway. With all that said, the Power Staff is debuting like, literally the next battle. I also don't have much interest in sending the blazing woman and healer guy to hit stuff when they could be blazing and healing instead, especially when their defenses still don't inspire much confidence. That's right baby this isn't the Alterone Magic School run this is the Guardiana Magic School, I'm going back there and grabbing more Steel Rings before the chapter closes!!

Just to complete the ramblings, Alterone has their own special ring too, the Evade Ring. In this version, characters have no natural chance of evading as far as I've seen, and depend on equipment like this instead. Of course, this one stacks to a chance of at most 6-8%, so it's very shaky compared to our great and solid Guardiana equipment. It is cheaper than Steel Rings though, so might be a good option for squishy characters once we run out of money.

For now though, we're off to funding the restoration of our glorious country. We buy three rings and store them safely in the item box for now.

We have an old friend to meet next time, after all.

Losses: 0 Deaths: 1 This episode: not yet sponsored by the Guardiana royal family but Queen Anri if you're out there I'd love the money

#shining force #shining series #guardiana magic school run #i feel both this and the next battle will be easy and boring #battle 5 is where i predict to have my first loss though

[nanoa1foryou]

Masterpost of all my very specific Blind Channel screenshots:

Bad Idea 1 Snake Balboa Over My Dead Body We Are No Saints Dark Side Sharks Love Blood Died Enough For You Don’t Fix Me Bad Idea 2

Honestly, these were so much fun to make. It gave such a new appreciation for those music videos. And trust me when I say that some of these were hard to narrow down. (More rambling under the cut.)

When I started making these, it was because of the split second frames I noticed in the first Bad Idea music video. I love gifs on tumblr, but I knew that no gif could really capture just those frames. So I did it myself.

I combed through them all, mostly frame by frame or with excessive pausing. I avoided taking screenshots that were of stock footage (that's why there is so little of Died Enough For you) or not specific to the music video (so no screenshotting just their faces over and over). Some stuff I threw in there for variety. Some stuff I left out because there are fantastic gifs that do it way more justice than a screenshot ever could.

The point was to capture the stuff that you miss on the first and second time watching the video. I wanted to capture the vibe of the video while showing stuff that doesn't get the spotlight on its own in the video.

And honestly, the attention to detail in these videos is crazy. Big props to everyone behind the camera and screens for putting those videos together. The editing is crazy, the camera angles are beautiful and the outcome is stunning. Especially with Vita Pictura. Their work is so beautiful, frame by frame.

Fun facts that I noticed during this little project:

The first Bad Idea video has so many weird edits in there. Like way more than you see. It's so colourful and fun.

You may think that Snake is mostly black and white and you'd be mostly wrong.

Balboa has a lot going on but it looks better when the video is moving. The individual frames are so blurry, but the video is fantastic.

Over My Dead Body has way more filter effects than you notice at first. Also, the camera angles are both stunning and make it look good without having a ridiculous budget for special effects to get the gory details look good. Keeps the focus on the music and idea without turning it all into a horror film.

We Are No Saints has just so much going on. It was the hardest to narrow down just by the variety of effects it had. Like so many different interesting edits. Every frame of that thing was a painting.

Dark side music video was perhaps the prettiest. The edits, the colour palette, the framing. All of it was perfect. I can see why that video went viral and not just the song itself.

Sharks Love Blood has so many fun dark things going on. I just focused on patterns of blood and the way it drips and such. Such a horror video for such a party song.

Died enough for you looks great but having incomplete lyrics cover half the frame makes it hard to screenshot the good parts.

Don't Fix Me has shots from both Bad Idea music videos mixed in there. Occasionally it was individual frames, sometimes full clips. It's just blended so well in there that the only thing you can really pick out are the roses.

The lighting for the second Bad Idea video is so pretty and every shot of it is too. Some shots were used multiple times in it. Definitely worth releasing it though. I can't imagine how much work went into it.

Additionally about our boys:

Niko makes like three facial expressions when he's screaming but so many more when he's just singing or rapping.

Joel looks way more emotional in person than on any video.

The reason why Aleksi cut his hair is so that his face is visible. There are barely any clear shots of his face from any music video.

Joonas moves so much and it's impossible to screenshot it because he is just a blur half the time.

Why are there so few shots of Olli? And when he is on screen he is either out of focus or there for three frames at a time? Give my boy more screen time!

Stop filming Tommi's hands and start filming his face. He has such variety in his expressions.

I hope you have enjoyed all of my screenshots! They've been so much fun to do!

#blind channel #masterpost #olli matela #niko vilhelm #niko moilanen #aleksi kaunisvesi #tommi lalli #joel hokka #joonas proko #nanoa1 speaks

[terribledactyl]

wow you've...never spoken to an endogenic system at all have you? cause it's clear you haven't and you'd rather parrot sysmed rhetoric

newsflash asshole - YOU'RE the ones causing the harm. you're the ones who come into OUR tags with your hate, telling us we don't exist because you can't be bothered to educate yourself, screenshot our blogs and raid inclusive plural discords so you can post on disgusting places like r/systemscringe and r/fakedisordercringe, and gaslight endo systems into thinking they must have trauma even though the fucking DSM-V that you love to treat as the gospel even says that trauma is not a requirement for plurality AND that there are other kinds of plurality that do not fit under a traumagenic umbrella.

so either sit down shut up and educate yourself for once and stop aligning yourself with exclusionists that literally take transmed rhetoric and rearrange it for their needs, or fuck off and die

oh and stop posting in our tags

Thank you for caring about others, genuinely I think concern about the wellbeing of others is the most admirable thing a person can do, even if you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing here. While I don’t align myself with people who go on “raids” or anything like that, I can understand the confusion.

I truly hope endogenic systems get the support needed if they do have a system, because systems form through trauma and up-to-date research proves as much. Did you know the DSM is outdated, racist, classist, and harmful to many communities? The best understanding comes from current medical and scientific research, which is admittedly lacking due to it being a divisive field to study, but respectable current research and studies show that systems form through trauma in early childhood. It’s not gaslighting to say any of that. We underestimate just how little children can handle without it counting as trauma, and you probably never even thought you were traumatized that badly as a kid! It sucks. I know. And if you’re 100% sure that you don’t have trauma but claim to have a system, you’re hurting vulnerable people. Simple as that. (You probably have trauma, though. Being poor growing up is traumatic enough to cause a system. Being bullied. Being emotionally neglected or isolated. Even one-off events that you were too young to process correctly. The list goes on.) It’s a coping mechanism, like maladaptive daydreaming. Comparing the above sentiment to transmedicalism is extremely transphobic and ableist. “Seek help if you believe you have something that is exclusive to a trauma disorder, otherwise differentiate your experience so that terms originated for medical use aren’t being misused” isn’t the same as “trans people should be barred from the support they need if they don’t meet medical criteria”. In fact honestly they’re kind of the opposite of each other - one is rallying for more support and aid, and the other is barring people from needed support. And if the above sentiment makes you mad enough to tell someone to kill themselves, please think about who’s actually trying to hurt who, and I hope your life eases enough that you don’t feel the need to suicide bait traumatized people online for suggesting that you might need help.

And for the record, I tag posts both as “traumagenic system” and “endogenic system” so my followers can block tags as needed, and I feel like calling it “syscourse” is a misleading name for the situation (which is its own essay that I won’t get into here), but I’ll change my primary tag regarding endogenic systems to “syscourse” to avoid future confusion. I will not, however, ever hide an outstretched hand to those who need it, including systems who have yet to process their trauma.

#traumagenic system #syscource

[thehomothings]

Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

#Cw: talks of death and PTSD #When I say I unknowingly projected onto him #I can't tell if writing this was cathartic or torturous #and I gave myself heart palpitations so this is enough for today #And yes I refer to ant Kite by he/him pronouns because misgendering him on the account of his body being afab is just ignorant #even if I think skrunkly's genderqueer af and actually wouldn't mind she/her #still i wanna push the trans ant kite agenda #So yes this is how I unknowingly picked up Kite as a coping mechanism even if out attitudes towards death are practically opposites #don't mind your grandpa trauma dumping #What I'm saying is get ant Kite therapy before he sinks the world #I love reimagining Kite as a villain and I don't know why #Kite hxh #hxh kite #kite hunter x hunter #kaito hxh #hxh #hunter x hunter #meta analysis #theories #fic rambles #Icarus waffles #Kitkat #gon freccs #Ging freecss

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight) #hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

[mellometal]

Hi, everyone.

I have something extremely important to talk about that is NOT fandom related. I really do hope this can reach everyone on here, especially since it's still Autism Acceptance Month.

A few quick questions for anyone who happens to see this before I dive right into this: Have you ever heard of Dhar Mann? If so, have you ever seen his videos? What do you think about them?

If you don't know who Dhar Mann is, he's a content creator whose main platforms are Instagram and YouTube. He makes these videos about various scenarios from a couple on the brink of divorce, to kids bullying one of their peers, even about Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of his videos have some kind of message at the end that really drives the point home. One of his most recent videos is about ASD, which is what I'm going to discuss today.

Personally, I think some of his videos are interesting, despite the concepts being reused and recycled over and over; however, how I feel about the video he made about ASD is the complete opposite. I'll summarize the video he made so you don't have to watch it. (If you really want to watch it to see exactly what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna stop you. Do what you need to do in order to form your own opinion.)

The video Dhar Mann made about ASD is about this boy who excludes his autistic brother from participating in activities with his friends at school. The boy bullies his autistic brother and does pretty much everything to make his brother's life Hell, even going as far as to pretend that he doesn't know his own brother. The boy "instantly regrets his decision" when their mom is called into the school to discipline her son for bullying his autistic brother. What his mother says is what REALLY upsets me. The message of this video in particular is this, WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. I wish I was kidding. But here's the message below:

How the video concludes is the boy reluctantly includes his autistic brother in every single activity, the boy sees his brother's potential, and they live happily ever after. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

As an autistic woman who works with disabled people for a living, that message Dhar Mann put in this video specifically is not only extremely ableist, but is also spreading misinformation about ASD.

News flash to all the people who still spread misinformation about ASD: Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school, nor is every single autistic person a young white man who's a Super Genius™️. (I could go on all day long about how the media stereotypes autistic characters and autistic people in general, but that's a whole other topic.) No autistic person is the same, meaning we all fall on the spectrum in different places and all that jazz. There's no "look" to autistic people either because no autistic person looks the same.

Autistic women exist.

Autistic girls exist.

Autistic nonbinary people exist.

Autistic BIPOC and AAPI exist.

Autistic people who are completely nonverbal exist.

Autistic people who are completely verbal exist.

Autistic people who are in the middle of being nonverbal and verbal exist.

Autistic people who require minimal to no support exist.

Autistic people who require moderate support exist.

Autistic people who require full support exist.

Autistic LGBT people exist. (Reason why I bring this one up is because the media almost always shows cishet autistic men and I don't see autistic LGBT representation very often, if ever.)

Autism isn't something you can "catch". People have this same mentality about ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome too, which, by the way, you can't "catch" either.

Autism doesn't "go away" when you reach adolescence or adulthood. Why? BECAUSE AUTISTIC TEENAGERS AND AUTISTIC ADULTS EXIST. Autistic kids grow into autistic teenagers, then into autistic adults.

You can't "cure" it either. Unless you can build a time machine and a device to go back in time to change how a person's brain develops, there is no cure. ABA therapy is a fucking shit show in itself that does more harm than good.

The title of the video is a real squick for me too. It's mostly because I don't particularly enjoy people using person first language (the "boy with autism" part). I've seen many other autistic people on multiple other platforms sharing that same sentiment and preferring identity first language (autistic person). There are also others who prefer using person first language and those who don't have a preference. That's all perfectly valid. Whatever you prefer people using when referring to you, or whatever you refer to yourself as, in this case, is totally valid and I love you. This goes for disabilities in general, not just Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Regarding the message in this video, here's my response to it! A quick heads-up, my response is VERY long and VERY passionate. I was VERY close to making a response video where I tear that video apart AND tear Dhar Mann a new asshole. Unfortunately, it worked me up so much that I was really struggling with what I wanted to say and I had to stop multiple times because I kept stumbling on my words. That's how angry this message made me. I'll try my best to explain whatever parts you have questions about. I put my response in the nicest way I possibly could, despite me seething with rage, wanting to go OFF on him.

(The first part of my response are the first three screenshots, and the second part are the last three screenshots.)

The first part of my response, I did forget to add that the message is offensive and disrespectful to autistic people as a whole. I apologize. My initial comment got way too long. I pretty much covered that when I told him the message is ableist. I wanted to clear that up before anyone asks about it.

The second part of my response is me opening up about my experience with being diagnosed with ASD, formerly known as As//per//ger's Syn//dro//me, at sixteen years old. I also went into how not calling ASD what it truly is (which is a disability) and calling it a "different ability" instead is extremely harmful and is treating being disabled like it's a bad thing.

By the way, saying that a disabled person is disabled isn't a bad thing. I'm disabled. It is what it is. Does it have its challenges? You bet. Does it help me with certain things? Hell yeah. I can really absorb information about my favorite bands, characters, shows, books, etc., and tell you a lot about those things. For example, I can tell you that Su can't ride a bike or read manga and she's okay with that. I can also tell you she can't tie her shoes very well, which is why her boots don't have laces and are slip-on and/or zip-up. But that doesn't mean my struggles are nonexistent or that I never struggle. I do, and it makes my life Hell at times.

The narrative that autism is a bad thing to have, every autistic person is somehow broken and they all need to be "fixed" is also super fucked up and not true. That's the narrative that I received when I was diagnosed by a therapist I had. I'm gonna be real here, I cried when I was first told that I was diagnosed with ASD. I felt like I was broken. I already felt like a total outcast. Being told about my diagnosis made me feel even more broken than I already felt. I was so ashamed of myself, despite me not doing anything wrong whatsoever, that I masked for SEVEN YEARS of my life. I masked for so long that I forgot I was even diagnosed with ASD in the first place. I wasn't taught how to really put my special interests into good use. I kinda had to figure that out on my own. I was pretty much under the assumption that me being interested in anime, cartoons, music, comics, theatre, writing, etc., to the point of obsession, was somehow weird and hurting people around me. You know, despite those things being harmless. Despite me being able to separate those things from other things that are important (like work, for example). Despite my only surviving parent, other family members, and the woman he was dating at the time completely overreacting and not bothering to see exactly what makes these things so special to me.

(By the way, having a disability does not completely make who a person is. There are a lot more things that make who a person is than that.)

It's kinda shocking that I wasn't able to come to terms with my diagnosis until this year. Considering that I masked for so long due to being ashamed of myself, plus being treated like a burden for being disabled, it's probably not very surprising. I initially thought at the time that it was the worst thing to have, as I was already struggling with enough shit back then, but came to realize it's not a bad thing. It doesn't change who I am. But I'm glad I came to terms with it finally nonetheless.

This is getting way too long, so I'm gonna wrap things up here. If you've read this far, thank you so much. I'm sorry this got so long!

If you watched the video, what are your thoughts on it? If this is your first time hearing about Dhar Mann, how do you feel about him? If you're a Dhar Mann fan, did this change your opinion on him in any way? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

Have a great day, everyone!

#mello speaks #dhar mann #autism acceptance #autism spectrum disorder #being autistic isn't a bad thing #autism isn't a different ability stop fucking saying it is #autistic community #autism self advocacy network #autistic women and non-binary people network #fuck autism speaks #i had to say this #dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu #autism acceptance month #autism speaks does not speak for me #light it up red #light it up gold #no puzzle pieces #tw dhar mann

[rosy-cheekx]

“You’re such a dork.” for the emotional writing prompts! I don't know anything about critical role, really, so for TMA :)

I spy, with my little eye, Bryce’s attempts to shove her own interests into her fics. Anyways, I am an American in college so I was basing this on my own experiences oops. Enjoy!

Date night was Wednesday evenings. Jon and Martin both found it preferable for a variety of reasons; it was the most likely nights for happy hours at the pubs in town, guaranteeing a cheap drink, and keeping to a weekday night minimized the chance of Jon seeing one of his students out. He hated seeing his students. Not that he hated them of course, he really rather liked them…not that they would ever know that. Being a professor, of parapsychology of all things, was rather rewarding. He knew the content inside and out (it felt good, using the mark of The Eye to actively work against it, to pass along information instead of consuming). And they didn’t seem to mind him either.

That was the thing about university students. They really didn’t care about who he was or where he came from. The fact that he was a scrawny, scarred Englishman in a lecture hall in Scotland didn’t matter to them. In the classroom, all they cared was whether he taught the material well (he did) and was kind to those with late assignments (he was. He had been a university student once too; he remembered the anxiety and depression that took him and his mates in waves). He was a good professor; Jon knew that objectively in the marks his students received. But in the subjective? His student had decided they liked him.

This had dawned on him at the end of his first semester; when he was inundated with emails of sincere thank-you for a great semester, for being such a helpful teacher, for taking the time to help review, et cetera. Martin had grinned at him, poking a tongue out his mouth and making some remark about teacher’s pets coming full circle (Jon was never a teacher’s pet though. He had always asked too many questions. He welcomed those questions with open arms now, to be the teacher he hadn’t had.)

The next semester it had been more obvious that students liked him now that he knew where to look. It was in the open “good-mornings” and questions about his weekend plans, and in the fact that he had the best attendance records of his department. It was in the way they asked genuine questions about his material and the waitlists miles long to get into his sections. Later on, it was in the gentle ribbings about his looking tired and the grey hairs even as they celebrated his fortieth birthday with him, bringing in cupcakes and sneaking in between lectures to decorate his office and the sincere questions over his scars, his life, his relationship with Martin (his introductory lecture always featured Martin and Her Regency, their thick orange tabby). To make eight wonderful semesters short, he was familiar with his students, and they weren’t afraid to be familiar back. Which was wonderful in the classroom and all, but not when he was trying have a relaxing evening with his husband.

Which brings them back to Wednesdays. Wednesdays were the days least likely to have students out in town, he had learned from Dr. Kerrigan, the positive psych professor, because Thirsty Thursdays started off the weekend’s partying and drinking for the undergraduates. Wednesday was the day students, in theory, buckled down to finish homework and give themselves a free weekend.

So here they were, Martin in a collared shirt, printed with tiny flowers, and jeans, hair bleached white from the Lonely and curling softly at his temples; Jon in a slouchy ribbed turtleneck and high-waisted pants, his own thick curls half-piled atop his head. Jon was listening intently as Martin spoke animatedly, talking about his own day as a guidance counselor at the local primary school.

“…and I swear Jon, if it wasn’t bad enough that Kimmy has decided never to speak to Lawrence again, now Lawrence has confided in me that he is positively in love with her.”

“Did he say that verbatim? In love, I mean.”

“I mean, no, but he said he was willing to give her all his Squishmallows for a playdate. Squishmallows. That’s real eight-year-old commitment, right there.”

Jon barked out a laugh and put on a puppy-eyed expression, grinning all the while. “Martin Blackwood, do you hereby take Jonathan Sim’s stuffed animals, to have and to ho-”

A gentle swat to the knee with Martin’s shoe cut Jon off. “Oi! Respect my children. They may be fools but its not their faults their brains aren’t developed yet. And yes, I know, ‘they’re not developed ‘til twenty-five and you can argue that your students’ brains aren’t developed either.’ But it’s different. They’re babies.”

“And I’m the All-Knowing One,” Jon mused thoughtfully around a forkful of food, earning him another love-filled kick.

“Speaking of,” Martin pointed to Jon with his glass, eyeing him deliberately. “Midterms next week, yeah? How do you think it’ll go?”

Jon shrugged, scratching at the back of his neck. “Alright, I hope. First exam went well but could’ve been better. I’m worried about Avonni, honestly, he’s nodded off a few times in class and I’m not confident he has someone to get the material from.”

“He has you.” A pointed, snow-white eyebrow.

“Right, but sometimes students don’t want to ask for notes because they think I’ll say no. Maybe I should email him. Speaking of email! Did I tell you what Suzanne sent out?”

“Oh no, what?”

They carried on like this through their meal and into dessert, and not for the first time Jon was struck by the sheer normalcy of it all. His greatest concerns were Suzanne’s passive-aggressive emails and his students, not the inevitable destruction of reality as they knew it to be. They were scarred, inside and out, everyone who had escaped The Magnus Institute was, but they were safe and free and happy. In defiance of everything that had happened to and because of them.

“Dr. Sims!”

Uh oh. Spoke too soon.

Bite of lava cake halfway to his mouth, Jon squeezed his eyes shut, rolling his eyes back in his head and willing there to be another professor with the surname Sims in the restaurant. When he opened his eyes, Martin was valiantly trying to suppress a smile as he eyed something, someone, over his head. Jon twisted awkwardly in his seat to see—

“Parker. What a surprise.” His voice was warm but carefully measured, and the dark-skinned boy waved, shit-eating grin on his face. “I have told you that you can call me Jon.”

“Yeah, I know, but you earned that doctorate! And “Doctor Jon” sounds awful, like you should have your own show or something.”

He hadn’t earned that doctorate, actually, but Martin’s expertise in lying and the disastrous apocalypse that had left everyone disoriented meant it had been easy to exaggerate some of Jon’s CV and manufacture a fake diploma.

“I do have my own show. Monday and Wednesday mornings, where I teach a bunch of caffeinated undergrads parapsychology,” Jon replied easily. “You’re welcome to tune in.” He liked Parker; he was a bit of a class clown, liked to ask off-topic questions or pretend to sneak a look at Jon’s answer sheets, but he was sharp and knew his stuff. Jon respected that. He reminded Jon of someone he dearly missed.

But Parker had already turned his attention to Martin, who was watching the interaction with mirth in his eyes. “Hello sir! I’m Parker McMichael, Jon’s favorite student.” Martin shook the extended hand and nodded in mock seriousness.

“Of course. Pleasure to finally meet you. Are you the one with the essay on ESP or the one on psychokinesis?”

“Neither,” Parker shook his head proudly, short dreads swaying gently with the movement. “The Validity and Continuity of Near-Death Experiences,” he made a mock marquee with his hands, arching curved fingers to indicate the title hanging in the air. “Researching any consistencies in near-death experiences stories, whether they’re legitimate, and what they mean if they are. But-” Parker shook his head and turned his attention back to Jon. “That’s not why I’m interrupting.” He took his phone out of pocket idly as he spoke. “I’m afraid I’ve come to settle a dispute among the 11 a.m. section.”

Oh no.

The Ceaseless Watcher whispered to him, unbidden, the dispute in question. Jon generally knew how to suppress the powers, and they were weaker than they had been, once upon a time, but when he’s caught off guard with the desire to know, to Know, it could still overtake him.

“This you?” A blurry screenshot of a Youtube video is shoved under his nose, a part of a text chain titled Sim’s Spoopy Spirits, captioned by many text bubbles expressing disbelief and objections and a variety of emojis. Jon took the phone and examined it, the truth already sure in his chest. Yes, that was him, dressed in his Jonny d’Ville costume, eyeliner streaked and eyes closed, mid-ballad. God, he wished he could be rid of those Youtube videos.

Jon’s gaping silence must have been enough of an answer for Parker because he whooped a little too loudly for the restaurant they were in and pumped his fist to his chest before typing very quickly on his phone. “I knew it! Take that Sabina,” he was mumbling to himself, lost in his texts for a moment.

Martin took the opportunity to clear his throat. “Sorry, uh, no one’s asked so I will. How did you know to look for him-us-here?” Jon frowned, He hadn’t thought about that.

“Oh, a couple of my mates work here and mentioned seeing Dr. Sims and his husband here a lot on Wednesdays and I dunno about you so much, but Dr. Sims is pretty habitual. Figured it was as good a guess as any. Some things can’t wait til Monday.”

“..an email. Parker. You could’ve sent me an email.” Fingers ran over scarred face, as if he could wipe the irritation (and Martin’s poorly-hidden laugh) from existence.

“But then I couldn’t do this.” His phone was back up again, level with his own face and he twisted so both his own and Jon’s faces were in the shot. “I’m here at 7:02 pm on Wednesday the 26, here to make a very important announcement,” Parker spoke to the camera with confidence. “Dr. Sims just confirmed to me that he is the one, the only, Jonny d’Ville.” Parker held the camera to Jon’s voice. “Anything to say to your adoring fans?”

Jon sighed and tugged on an errant curl. “Don’t forget, reading due Monday.” He wasn’t genuinely upset with Parker, just filled with fond embarrassment.

Parker sent the video off and clapped the back of Jon’s chair. “Well, Dr. D’Ville, its been a pleasure. Everyone’s really excited to get a confirmation on your status of coolest teacher. Any plans for the evening?”

Jon sighed through his lower lip, stray curls framing his scalp flying upward in the sudden burst of wind. “Watching a documentary and trying to forget—wait. What?”

“Oh yeah no, everyone thinks it’s badass. You’ve got a super nice voice and the stories you told were really interesting, if a little buckwild.”

Jon felt his cheeks flush and Martin grinned slyly at him from across the table. “Y-Yes. I guess we were rather good.”

Parker gave his farewells and Jon’s shoulders sagged (he had immediately righted his posture on seeing Parker, his grandmother’s voice in his ear reminding him of his manners), turning his full attention back to his husband. Martin had maintained that grin and was eyeing him intensely, like he expected Jon to say something.

“What, Martin?”

“God, you’re such a dork.” The words were soft, expression fond, and Jon could feel the radiation of unadulterated love Martin gave off in his smile, the one only ever used for Jon. “You really love your students, don’t you? You know how much they love you, right?”

Jon grumbled, but he couldn’t quite sweep the smile off his face either as their waiter made his way over with their check.

“No comment. But we are switching to Tuesday date nights.”

#tma #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #prompts #date night #jmart #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #fanfic to a tea

[npfehr]

photo credit: me

Recently Completed: Unpacking (PC)

This is a relaxing puzzle game in which your task is to unpack boxes of things, and then find places for those things to go. The game moves through the years, following the same person through college, relationships, and eventually a space of their own. The story is relayed entirely via rooms and the objects you unpack, and it's brilliantly affecting.

Sometimes you will go through things in a workerlike fashion. The shampoo bottles go on the shower shelves, the toilet paper in the little holder. Sometimes you will pluck something out of a box that makes you smile like being reunited with an old friend, as was the case with the beloved piggy stuffy that travels everywhere with the main character. Sometimes you will be perplexed as you try to figure out how you're supposed to get all of these shoes into one little closet.

I wrote about the ukulele and my delight about its evolving circumstances, but here I want to talk about a moment midway through the game that actually made me stop for a few days.

[Mild spoilers I guess!]

So, out of college and following an apparently failed live-in relationship, you find yourself back in your childhood bedroom (the one in the screenshot above). The shelf under the window is there, but the bed has been replaced with a desk and a sewing machine, and there's a different bed off to the side. The light through the window is muted, and the music is melancholy. It's cramped, and the challenge is to try and shoehorn your things into this space. Hopefully not for long.

The idea of a home as a warm, inviting place has always been extremely powerful to me. My parents always made it clear to my brothers and me that no matter what, no matter our disagreements or sins, we could always come home and get back on our feet from there. And we've all done it, over time and sometimes more than once. It's something I genuinely hope to pass on to my children as well; that no matter what, if you need a space to get yourself together before heading out into the world again, we love you and we're keeping that open for you.

But at the same time, when you've been away, home is never what it was, is it? We moved off the farm when I was about 12, and I befriended the kid whose family bought our old house. Going back there to visit was uncanny, a space I recognized filled with objects I didn't.

When I left for university, my bedroom in our new house got converted into the office of our small family business. There were of course other bedrooms to stay in when I was there, but they weren't my room.

A couple of years ago, the new house got sold after Mom died, and Dad remarried and moved out. I know we'd still be welcome in his new place, and my stepmom is a wonderful person, but it's just...different again.

In the game, I when I took in this new scene the main character's bedroom, seeing it be both different and the same, those layered emotions came over me and out loud I said "Oh no, no" and closed the game. It was Friday, and I let the weekend pass before I opened it up and played on Monday. This time I looked a little longer, and even opened a box and took out a thing or two. Then I gave up again, and closed it down until the next day.

It's not hard to imagine my character feeling much the same way, gazing out over the boxes, trying to will themselves to move something around, and then making just enough room to sleep and/or leaving the room altogether for a while.

At last, the next day I was able to settle in and do the rest of the work. It wasn't easy, but it got done, and to my great relief, the next chapter was a better situation with acres of space.

I don't think I've had a game evoke these feelings before, and I remain impressed that it was done without dialogue or cutscenes. I'm also encouraged by the way that the character's story improves from there, and it's helped me reflect on my own life and the way a new home can be built over time, even while having mixed feelings about the homes we've known and loved.

[End of mild spoilers!]

Every so often I will come across a game that reinforces my belief that games are art, and this is one of them. I think my main criteria are that it moved me while playing, made me think about it while I wasn't playing, and told a story in a way unique to the medium. Unpacking, to me, is art, and is easily one of my favourite games this year. Play it!

#Recently Completed #Unpacking #PC #can I tell you a secret #this might actually be my number one favourite game of 2021 #and this was a year with a new Metroid! #but while Dread was very good #I didn't really think about it and excitedly talk about it to my spouse when I was away from it #I played it and had fun and then basically set it down #but this game moved me #and I'm really having to think about what I like in games these days #and whether I'm being honest with myself #anyway #thanks for reading

[loopy777]

Non-Review: Free Comic Book Day 2021 - The Legend of Korra (Also Featuring Avatar: The Last Airbender)

With all the hype around 'Suki Alone,' it looks to me like most of the fandom missed that an additional Avatar comic with a story from each cartoon's era was just released for Free Comic Book Day. You can read them for yourself on either Dark Horse Digital or Comixology where it's mislabeled as being for ages 17+ (free accounts are required for both), but I'm sure one of the reasons you all love me is because of my willingness to jump in between you and these comics like the deadly bullets they can be. Well, I'm happy to die (metaphorically) for the sake of (a little anonymous internet) love, so I'm doing a full snarky review for each ten-page story. Also, I'm bored, and it's more fun to make fun of mediocre stuff than to praise stuff I like.

It's time for me to review "Free Comic Book Day 2021 - The Legend of Korra (Also Featuring Avatar: The Last Airbender)" or more specifically "The Legend of Korra: Clearing the Air" and "Avatar: The Last Airbender: Matcha Makers."

CLEARING THE AIR

The cover makes this look like a story about Jinora and Ikki having a sibling conflict. That's a lie. The Air Sisters arguing is merely the inciting incident for Tenzin telling a story of his youth. I should note that, as inconsequential as the Air Sisters stuff is, it's actually written very well because it posits Ikki as a victim of circumstance and Jinora as a bully who terrorizes her little sister with threats of getting thrown in jail by Metalbenders for an accident, cementing the characterization from the cartoon. This is not sarcasm. I really do think Jinora is presented by LoK as a Holier Than Thou little snot who just so happened to be naturally gifted with magic spirit-powers, but for some reason the rest of the fandom doesn't agree with me.

Anyway, Tenzin comes in to find the arguing (and Meelo just running amok for the fun of it and so far these characterizations are perfect), and rather than telling Jinora to shut her stupid face, he delivers a tale of his youth about conflict resolution.

So the meat of the story is how, when Tenzin was "a few years older" than Jinora, a pair of vandals got onto Air Temple Island and burned some graffiti into the spinning-panel things that Korra will destroy out of frustration during her Airbending training. Literally, the vandals are depicted as scorching the wood with enough smoke to be seen across a plaza. Tenzin goes after the vandals and they flee across the bay back to Republic City proper (one of the vandals is a Waterbender with a surf-plank). Tenzin pursues, catches them, and attacks them hard enough to smash some dockside crates. They are all then arrested by Metalbenders and dragged before Chief Toph. She's going to let Tenzin go (yay Toph!) and throw the vandals in jail (YAY TOPH!) and makes this face, and this entire comic is worth it:

However, Aang arrives and instead arranges to forgo the jail-time in favor of an Air Nomad Conflict Resolution Ceremony. This is nice and in-character, but I'm totally with Tenzin that these vandals should have been thrown in jail. They literally burned insulting graffiti into antiques from a genocided culture. But instead, Aang demonstrates conflict resolution by having Tenzin explain why he's hurt and what needs to be done to redress the wrong. And so the vandals help Tenzin scrub the graffiti off the panels with water and rags and mops- how, I don't know, since they were literally burned.

They also do a ceremony thing where they each take turns bending their element into a central space between them to 'clear the air' (GET IT GET IT HA HA IT'S ALMOST LIKE A PUN BUT NOT), so it's a good thing they were all Benders because this is kinda racist. This fixes all the problems and everyone is friends. Yay!

In the present, though, things are not so nice, because Tenzin's kids are still screaming at and provoking each other. Korra comes in with Asami at the end to ask what's going on, and Asami says nothing, so I still think everyone is characterized with perfect consistency with the cartoon.

I made this sound silly, but (aside from the spinny-panels getting cleaned with a little water and elbow-grease, which doesn't matter because Korra will eventually blow them all up anyway), I actually like this one. It has Tenzin demonstrate how much he's always had to work to be the Perfect Air Monk that everyone expects him to be, and Aang acknowledges how this is unfair but that Tenzin will never let him down no matter what. It also has Katara come in at the end (for just one line, boo!) to acknowledge that this was an especially easy little conflict for Tenzin to practice on and he'll eventually face worse. I found it a nice adult moment in a story that's otherwise clearly aimed at 8-year-olds.

The art is good. It's simpler than the LoK cartoon, with flat colors, but it captures the story and has enough liveliness for everyone's character to come across in their look and body-language. The brief action-sequence where Tenzin attacks the vandals is well done, moving quickly but showing the full flow of the fight and every move Tenzin makes.

MATCHA MAKERS

Apparently, "Matcha is finely ground powder of specially grown and processed green tea leaves, traditionally consumed in East Asia" according to Wikipedia. I had to look that up. I'm curious how many people understood the full reference in the title, especially since these comics are aimed at kids too young to be allowed on the internet.

This is a very simple story about Iroh in his tea-shop in Ba Sing Se. He has an assistant/waitress named Feng, a new character who wears glasses, ruining the hopes and dreams of all the fanfic-writers who were so sure he'd rescue Jin from the Lower Ring. A frequent patron of the tea shop is an elegant, older lady (very clearly Upper Ring material) named Li-Mei, who cannot go a single panel without giving Iroh a HEY BIG BOY look. She is very clearly smitten. Also, I feel the need to clarify that she knows his name is Iroh, so apparently Ba Sing Se is okay with the Dragon of the West serving tea to their wealthy. I don't say that as a criticism, I'm just noting it.

That night, Iroh meets up with his friends- the Pokemon-style spirits that we saw in Legend of Korra. (I don't know if they're the actual spirits from LoK, or just new spirits in the same style. This is because I would sooner grind matcha into my eyes than rewatch Book Spirits.) He serves them his special blend of tea and talks about how he's totally into Li-Mei but isn't going to pursue it because he's feeling old and doesn't want to take a risk. At this point, I could stop describing the plot because between the title and what I've said so far, I'm sure you could figure out every single plot beat that will follow.

The next day, the spirits trip Feng so that she drops Li-Mei's tea and Iroh needs to bring a replacement, and they've drawn hearts on top of the replacement tea with foam or sugar or milk or whatever. I don't know because I've never bought tea in a place that will even put the bag in the hot water for me. Iroh gets out of the situation without starting any love-affairs and runs into the back to tell the spirits to knock it off, dudes, they're totally embarrassing him! The spirits respond by giving him a flyer for a romantic restaurant. I don't know how they got it, so I can only assume that some Upper Ringer had their mail diverted.

Iroh refuses, so when Li-Mei orders more tea and he brings it to her, the spirits hover just out of her sight and threaten to smash the furniture. I am not making that up. They literally threaten to smash Iroh's furniture unless he asks the lady out. He submits to their tyrannical threats, Li-Mei happily accepts the date, he happily accepts her acceptance, and the story comes to a close. Iroh thanks his spirits friends for opening him up to new experience, but hopes that next time (so I guess Iroh is signing up for Tinder after this?) they won't threaten his shop.

At best, I can describe this story as 'harmless.' But it's been a long week and I just got a bunch more extra work at my day job that I really don't want to do, so I'm going to go ahead and call this story 'dumb.' It's rote, leans towards humor without actually being funny at all, and turns the spirits of the setting into Pokemon. And not even the cool dragon kind.

The art is strangely stiff. The coloring is soft and nice, but the drawings seems more 'assembled' than actually drawn. I swear there are even a few panels that reminded me of 'How I Became Yours' with janky poses, horrifying expressions, and just enough resemblance to the original cartoon to make me think a screenshot was partially traced and then ruined. (I'm not accusing the artist of tracing, BTW. I wouldn't even condemn the artist for tracing if they did. I'm just describing that HIBY feeling I got.) It was so stiff that rather than hear Iroh's dialogue in Mako's rich tones, I instead imagined Greg Baldwin doing a stiff Mako-impression with no naturalism to the delivery.

This story is definitely worthy of its "Also Featuring" billing. I'd rate it below Gene Yang's Mai and Suki FCBD short stories, but above everything else he wrote for Avatar.

So there you go. Overall, this is very middle-of-the-pack for Avatar FCBD stuff. It's very much of the nature of the 'Team Avatar Tales' stuff, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Iroh story was a leftover from that project. On Free Comic Book Day, you often get what you pay for.

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis #this isn't precisely a puzzle #it's a genuine question on jake's end #you aren't expected to answer unless your jake is the same

[thedyingmoon]

🖤 I See My Future Before Me 🖤

~ A V X Reader set in an Alternate Universe where you get to play a game of hide and seek with V. 🖤

~ This part is dedicated to all my new followers. I couldn't mention all of you, you know who you are. Thank you very much! 🖤

~ Psst, @acieoj , a new part for you to stay awake for. 🖤

~ I couldn't thank you enough for all the likes and reblogs, @heaven-on-a-landslide . Thank you so much! 🖤

~ That's my game screenshot. Aww, V looks so cute drinking whatever energy drink that is. 🖤

***

V

You wearily looked at the three boxes of pizza on the glass top table in front of you, one being almost empty, courtesy of Nero. Then, you looked at Nico, who settled on the sofa across you, legs apart and one elbow on a knee.

"Dinner?" Nico offered, getting a slice herself.

You shook your head.

"I'm not having any of that." Your friend for ten years retorted, picking a slice and forcefully handing it to you. "Eat!"

You two have always been like this, you refusing food and the freckled girl always shoving them your way, anyway.

The moment you woke up in their home ten years ago, you were aware that you were so close to dying due to starvation. But, due to the strict orders of those scumbags who abducted you, you were taught to avoid temptations like hunger. Of course, upon realizing how malnourished you looked, Nico and her mother practically forced you to eat, telling you to not die on them. And on the following days after that, you were fed all sorts of home - cooked meals, thanks to Nico's mother, that slowly improved your impoverished state.

You took a little bite off the pizza, slightly wincing on its spicy taste, then threw all kinds of pretense out of the window and took a box for yourself, digging in and giving in to your hunger.

"So, what you mean to say," Nico began, her mouth half - full of her food. "... is that V is who you are looking for all these past ten years?"

You nodded, unable to answer with a full mouth.

"How could you even tell? I mean, you told me that the man in your visions had white hair."

It's true. After the events that took place in that cursed castle, the entity has been giving you little visions of the future. Sometimes, it's just trivial things, like predicting Nico's results in her exams as a student, the weather for the next week, and visitors.

But, one prominent thing that the entity was always showing you was the vision of a white - haired man playing the violin. And what's more, the entity would sometimes speak to you in your head, subtly whispering stuff like,

"You must find him."

And

"You must go to him."

However, just a year ago, the entity gave you vague and horrifying warnings about this man, telling you all of a sudden to,

"Protect him at all cost."

"Save him from his death."

And

"Fulfill the wish."

Especially the second and last warning. Despite the vision staying the same for ten years, the warnings were getting more and more drastic that it simply could no longer be ignored. You had no idea how to "fulfill the wish", but you were very certain that the entity would show you how when the time comes.

Which led you to the events that were beginning to unfold right before you.

"Dude with white hair,..." Nico mumbled. "If it is Dante, then I would understand. But, V?"

"I told you." You replied. "I felt it the moment I saw him in the park earlier this afternoon. That,... feeling I didn't have when I met Dante." You took your third helping of the pizza and looked at Nico gravely in the eye. "But, this man. I could feel it, Nico. It's him. I must fulfill the entity's wish, and I won't rest until I do."

"Alright, alright, honey, you've made your point." Nico leaned on the comfortable sofa and crossed her legs. "So, you sure you're going?"

"Yes."

"Very well." Nico stood and went to one of the rooms. When she came back, she was carrying a large, white box. She placed it down on the floor, considering it was too big to place on the table, and carefully opened it, revealing its contents.

Your eyes widened in delight and surprise at such wonder. "It's so breathtaking!" You admired the object inside the box.

Nico smiled at you and lightly punched your shoulder. "You have to look your best this Saturday."

You gently took the glistening fabric, holding it like it was the most fragile thing in the world, and frowned.

"Aww, don't tell me you don't like it!"

You glanced at Nico and held the thing closer to you. "No, it's not like that. I just couldn't believe that I'm finally going to meet him."

"Well, if you're that excited, why didn't you just introduce yourself earlier like a normal human being?" Nico had a point.

"I'm scared." You answered, and it was the truth. You did find V very intimidating, especially that time when he just transported right above you earlier in the park. "What if I screw this up? How can I be able to protect him if I'm like this? You saw him and how powerful he is! He's got some,... pets with him,..."

Nico's eyebrows furrowed. She knew you were very shy and that you needed the proper motivation for you to keep moving forward.

She stood up and went back to the sofa to eat pizza. "I was wondering. You, a weak girl without the help of your entity, trained to be a good fighter against Demons, bugged me to death a thousand times for a weapon of your own, and even deliberately blackmailed Dante into letting you join Devil May Cry, all because of this funny mission your entity gave you." She leaned in to get a closer look at you and eyed you very seriously. "What is your motivation? And don't ya dare keep your mouth shut because ya haven't told me a single shit about it. Spill the beans, honey."

You sighed, no longer able to think of some clever way out of this. You put the fabric down and joined Nico at the sofa.

"That vision with the white - haired man, that was not the only thing I saw." You took Nico's right hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Beyond that, I saw something else."

"What is it?"

You looked at Nico and slightly shook your head, brows furrowed at the thought. "It wasn't quite clear to me yet, but I saw myself with this man. And there was a child."

Nico's eyes widened, her mouth forming an O. "Is that your future baby, then?"

"I'm not sure. I told you, it wasn't quite clear. And then, I saw a house, an afternoon picnic, him playing the violin again, and,..."

"And - ?" Nico was fully anticipating the next thing you would say, when you suddenly squeezed her hand too tight with all your might, hurting her. "Ouch! Hey, watch it!" She withdrew her hand from you, rubbing it and hoping for the pain to go away. She was about to scold you for it when she saw you becoming red from forehead to chest. "Aha! You saw something lewd, did ya?!"

"NO!" you screamed at her face, your blush deepening even further, and knowing that she will not believe you because of it. "Anyway, the point is: I finally have a chance to build something I lost when I was a child. A lovely house, afternoon picnics, a family to call my own! Nico, this is it! My dream of a perfect family, and the entity has led me right into it!"

"You really should have introduced yourself to V." Nico muttered, shaking her head and frowning. "You might get along pretty well,..."

"That's not how it works, Nico. To have that, I must fulfill the entity's wish to protect him and save him from his death. The vision will not come true unless I follow the entity's conditions!"

"So, you mean to say, V's gonna die,... unless you do something about it? Is that right?"

You almost lost your nerve after building it up with a dream of a perfect home a while ago. "Yes, you could say that."

"So, that's why you trained to be strong."

"Yes."

"But, that doesn't explain why you have to work for Dante."

"Remember what you said earlier about Dante and perfectly understanding it if it was really him in my vision?" You said, taking Nico's hand and squeezing it again. "Well, I thought so, too, believe me. But, I was wrong. The vision is a man who looked like him, but not him!"

"You - " Nico began, then stopped, processing everything she just heard from you. "How could the man in your vision look like Dante and not V? How could it NOT be Dante and how could it BE V? Honey, that's so confusing! Unless, he's hiding a twin brother somewhere, which V clearly is not,..."

"Yes, I know that." For the second time, you squeezed Nico's hand way too hard for the woman to take.

"Ouch!" Nico shrieked, once again withdrawing her hand and keeping it firmly close to her.

"Sorry. It's just that - I felt a connection to Dante and to the man in the vision. Like, something very powerful was linking the two. And now that I've seen this V person, I became certain of it. He also holds a deep connection to Dante." You went closer to Nico, your hands on the sofa. "The decision I made about working in the Devil May Cry was not far off, actually. And I' am glad for that," you took something from your pocket and showed the same black envelope containing the details of the event for the coming Saturday. "... and for this."

"Whatever you say, honey." Nico said, but before she could even stand, you two both heard noises coming from outside the unit. "They're back already? Hey!"

Nico called after you, but you were too fast. You were already outside the door to your room, carrying the large, white box, and smiling at her.

"Good night!" You gleefully mouthed, opening the room, entering it, and finally retiring for the night.

And at the same time Nico heard the lock to your door click, Nero opened the front door and let V and himself in.

Right then and there, V was very positive - he knew you've been there, the one who almost "chopped him like onions", as per Griffon, and the one who yelped behind the window. In fact, he could sense your presence all over the place, especially behind that one particular door. After all, he could still smell you. What was that again? Oh. Fresh flowers blooming in the morning.

"Hey, this box is almost empty!" Nero said, mystified as to how an unopened box of pizza got almost ravaged by a lone woman during his absence of only thirty minutes.

But, V perfectly knew that Nico was not the only one who ate. And it was totally confirmed by the woman, herself.

"Well, sorry about that. (Y/N) was really hungry." She admitted.

"You mean the owner of this unit?" Nero asked, opening the third box and dedicating to finish it himself. "Where is she, anyway? Why won't she show herself? She got fangs, bumps, or something?"

"My thoughts,... exactly." V added, letting Griffon and Shadow out with a simple smile that could actually be considered as sinister. Someone wants to play hide and seek with him, so he would play the game, as well, and with much enthusiasm.

Nico laughed at what Nero said. "She doesn't have fangs, but she does have a bump or two, you know what I'm sayin'. She's probably asleep by now. Don't mind her." Nico answered. "She's just tired as hell. You'll see her in the morning."

And, so he must. For if you don't show yourself by then, heaven and hell help V, but he would definitely find a way to meet you and go after you, just like what Griffon initially suggested. In a space of thirty minutes while he and Nero were away in search of formal clothing, he may have found out one of the reasons the Yamato brought him closer to you. And if you avoid him once more, he would have no choice but to spam the Yamato on you if he must as a last resort.

***

🖤🖤🖤

#devil may cry 5 #amwriting #v #v x reader #v x you #i see my future before me #chapter 5 #nico #nero #you #fanfiction #work in progress