#i hate harukas mom

[clover0101]

Weakness - Haruka Sakurai analysis

aka: rewritting my old analysis because I missed so much visual clues and I don't know how to cope with that

(CW: themes of neglect, ableism, animal cruelty and other sensitive topics ahead)

Water is a fairly recurring symbolism in the two videos we have to date. A way of representing that Haruka, in the situation she finds herself in, is drowning. Dying by drowning is for many one of the most agonizing and desperate deaths. By trying to breathe, asking for help, talking or struggling you only make your own situation worse, little by little losing the energy to keep trying until you let yourself go. This time, the water falls on him like a strong wave after seeing himself in the mirror, remembering what life was like for him as a child and knowing that those days will never return.

The blue light in the video literally represents 'being the focus of attention'. Haruka, as a child, was. He received the love of his parents and his basic needs were met. From a certain point in his life (presumably as he entered his teens, around age 12) his family began to leave him behind. Haruka was very close to his mother, so he was especially hurt by her. And why did this happen in the first place? Haruka is a neurodivergent person, his specific condition is up for interpretation, but it's clear that he struggles with learning difficulties. As he entered his adolescence, his condition became much more evident, denoting that he would not be able to do what others can, thus causing rejection and mistreatment by his parents.

We can see in shots like these that Haruka, even when present in the family environment – living in the same home, sharing the same space – always takes the position of a spectator. Someone who, despite having tried everything, is not capable of influencing the world enough for these efforts to bear fruit. It seems that there is something separating him from everyone else, from his family, from those who should love and support him. As if he was looking at them through a glass wall (or from inside a fish tank, as we will see in akaa (?)

Something that is also important is that the video makes a clear separation between Haruka from the present and the one from the past. The child is shown as someone happy and innocent, never acting to harm anybody, however, present Haruka carries all the negative feelings and subsequent bad actions. Haruka seems to be envious of his past self, even pushing him out of focus so that he falls and drowns, just like he is now. My interpretation is that when we see Haruka interacting with himself as a child, we are actually seeing how he interacts with the girl who appears later in the video; her victim. The reason why he is shown as himself in Weakness is because Haruka projects onto her the happiness he felt at her age. His parents' neglect may have started shortly before or with the birth of his sister. Haruka mentions in his interrogation that his name was chosen because his mother wanted a girl. Having a daughter, and also one without any condition that hindered her development, led her to give all her time and attention to her, and to completely leave Haruka aside, because the more he grew, the more it became clear that he could not function as a “normal person” could without any special treatment or attention. His childish or incapable attitudes were normal to see at the age of a child, but when they persist during adolescence they become annoying for his caregivers. Ableism and ignorance leads many people to be negligent when having autistic children or with some type of developmental problem that makes their upbringing difficult, culminating in abuse instead of looking for tools and help to handle the situation correctly.

This sequence is particularly interesting to me because the well she falls into is not something "real" as such, but is made up of scratches and drawings that Haruka himself made. Haruka longs for roles to be reversed, even if it means condemning her to suffer the same as him. But this suffering that he pushes her into is not genuine. They are circumstances made by his mind that will never come true, because Haruka will continue to be ignored; and before that truth Haruka sinks again.

The translation of the original video is a bit inconvenient in my opinion because it's difficult to extend due to grammar errors (?) so I'll be using this fanmade translation to complement some things.

The fireworks event is particularly important because Haruka mentions it as something he remembers well. It's possible that, due to his condition, he was unable to attend such event (or, for example, see the fireworks during a celebration) because he's sensitive to loud noises and cause him anxiety and discomfort. "The future correct, unfairly, chose the wrong me." Haruka sees himself with his sister because he wishes he could be there with her, enjoying this special event. He thinks that if they were both the same age, or if he was a "normal person" everything would be better. If he didn't have this condition, he would like to be able to get along with his sister and be friends, which would be possible if only he was able to "do the things that others can do without trying." Again, his life passes before him without his decisions or thoughts having any real importance. It is repeated through the chorus that Haruka wants to be pitied. He wants to be seen completely, with everything and the weaknesses that have been blamed on him throughout his life. He just wants to be accepted and loved even with those flaws, without having to make an effort to be someone he is not or to fit into what is "normal" for others.

The flowers that surround Haruka are yellow garden roses (although after looking up they seem quite similar to Golden Celebration or Graham Thomas, but I can't tell for sure). The meaning of yellow flowers and roses varies; in a more positive lens (in this context not so much) it could reflect the desire to communicate or take action to achieve a goal. Yellow is also popularly associated with envy, jealousy, and betrayal. According to color theory, being exposed to large amounts of yellow in a room or space can be irritating – so it could also reflect how Haruka is perceived by the people around him as someone that's better to treat in "small doses", because living with him daily is suffocating. Taking action, along with jealousy, fit well with the next sequence, where Haruka reaches up to reach for the girl and kills her, and is then seen laughing on top of her body. That's when for the first time in the video Haruka is the focus of attention. However, it was all a nightmare. This would reflect how little by little Haruka is thinking that the only way to get back what was taken from him is by hurting others, but in the end he sees himself scared with his own thoughts. For now, he wouldn't act to make them a reality.

Another symbology reflected in Haruka's drawings becomes much more evident; eyes watching him after doing something he knows is wrong and his different perceptions of his mother, during his childhood (first image) and in the present (possibly second image, though I'm not sure if that's his mom). Haruka has this tendency to draw people or things he sees as villains like that, like he also does with the family dog.

The following sequence has been the cause of my nightmares and my suffering both when watching it and when writing this essay. We are presented with what would be Haruka's first murder, the victim being precisely the family dog. What stands out above all is the fact that not only does Haruka's home seem to have an unconventional structure to say the least (?), but even though it's implied that the dog ran off into the forest, there are details that go against this, the most notorious being the pieces of wood on the floor that remain as a constant. Another interesting detail is that the outside world looks more like a collage or something artificial created by the mind of someone who doesn't know how it really looks. This may suggest that Haruka and the animal did not leave the house, which I also find credible given the symbology seen later in AKAA, where Haruka spends most of the video locked inside a small room unable to see what is outside or even go out.

While little Haruka looks for his dog following the tracks he left behind, at one point he looks at his hands and sees them covered in the animal's blood. He then switches to revealing that the perpetrator of the crime is the current Haruka, who even looks horrified after realizing what he has done.

This part of the lyrics especially expresses a lot; “You complimented me on being crazy”, aka, the only thing Haruka's mother acknowledges that he does well is being crazy, to which he replies “thank you, I'll do my best.” He wants to be the best at the one thing he's told he does well, which is kind of sad in my opinion (?) “How many times do I have to do this to be seen as a human?” The hostile environment in which he grew up has led Haruka to believe that he's much less than a person, and that this is the only way for him to put himself on the same level as others, to be recognized. Only if he becomes despicable would he be able to be seen again. "I have become a victim, my loneliness was wanted (by you)" his mother kept him isolated from the world, knowing the damage it did to him, because Haruka is seen as a disappointment. He's a victim of abuse, and tries to convince himself that his motivation for doing what he does is acceptable as a victim.

Now, when Haruka is face to face with the corpse, the flash of blue light over him is present for the first time in the video. However, it doesn't cover him completely, only illuminating a part of him. It's here when he realizes that of everything he has tried the only thing that manages to capture the attention of his environment is this. It's the only thing that worked out, and quickly his options narrow down to just that. Because, as he mentions in his second voice drama, what else could he have done?

During the bridge Haruka is standing, crying. His tears come out of his right eye, the one that his hair covers, so it may represent how his suffering has been ignored or conveniently obscured/covered so as not to be recognized. The fireworks are back in the background. This time, the blue light is drawn on him with crayons, along with the silhouettes of various people and eyes watching him. It's what Haruka longs to achieve.

Haruka tries to reach his mother again, but he fails and she disappears along with the light. "Even if I keep trying (to hide it), it's already broken." Her relationship with her was broken from the beginning, wanting to have her back are and will always be wishes in vain, because he won't be able to make her turn and look at him again. Using just the fanmade translation as a base, this line could also refer to himself. How trying to hide or change his flaws is never going to repair the kind of person he's become, or on a more fundamental level, how his condition is the part of himself he considers broken, and for obvious reasons he can't get rid of it. “The things that are not here (or that I do not see/see), the ones that you don't need, do they still exist somewhere else? (Or are they just a dream?)” I interpret this line as Haruka trying to make sense of his own existence. Unloved, unneeded and ignored, he tries to see other possibilities – to see if he might still be able to exist in the same world as everyone else, perhaps finding a normal life that meets his wishes. It's as if he's asking permission to continue breathing the same air than others. (who else does that in their video- oh no mu kusunoki from the hit series MILGRAM please get out of my house) In the end, Haruka gets tired of watching, longing, and wishing. He decides to act, attacking his sister and suffocating her. Now, being over her corpse, the focus of attention is entirely on him. Even if he's reproached, hated, or disapproved of, he is fine with it. Because in the end he achieved what he wanted.

#haruka sakurai #milgram #haruka #sakurai haruka #analysis #weakness #all knowing and all agony #weakness analysis #milgram analysis #help me #i didnt sleep last night writing this #hope people like it... #i hate harukas mom

[dirt-str1der]

Getting beat up by kiryu has to feel so good why else does everyone in kamurocho do it so much

#Yakuza loveblog #i was thinking about how kakurocho has no rourist attractions. kiryus one of them #people literally come from other towns just to get beat up by kiryu #what does this shitty little city have ? i cant count the millenium tower as an attraction gecause its so fugly and i hate it #harukas mom died there. it used to be a peaceful little shopping district #i say peaveful because its so cramped in there that people are physically unable to throw hands #im kidding they still do. that photographer wasnt kidding when he said people in bad towns drag you into alleys to beat you up but people in #kamurocho just do it out in the streets ...

[linagram]

If we’re doing questions, I have one for everybody: what’s one thing you’d like to do when/if you get out of here? (This applies to the guards too, if we can ask them questions.)

this is such an interesting question, thank you for sending it!

Akio: I hope- um, I know that I will definitely get out of here, but.. I'm actually not so sure what I want to do when that happens. No, actually, how would it even be possible for me to go back to normal life? Of course, I want to go back to school, I want to continue getting good grades and being loved by everyone, but.. Even though he's not here anymore, it wouldn't be possible for me to just go back to that school and hope that everything will be fine. They already know what happened anyway. Maybe I'll convince my parents to let me go to a different school, I think they would be okay with that. But before that.. Maybe I'll try to reconcile with one person.

Aimi: .. Haha, that's such a silly question. I can't just go back to my normal life after what I've done. How can I go back to school and pretend like everything is okay? And my family.. They won't be happy when they hear about my crime. I don't know if they will forgive me.. No, no, they are very good people, trust me! They love me a lot and I love them too! It's just.. never mind. So, the first thing that I'd do if I manage to get out.. I miss my dogs. I want to play with them like I did before I ended up here.

Shun: To be honest, I don't really want to leave?.. This place isn't that bad. I finally get the attention that I've always wanted, isn't that wonderful? I don't want to go back to that apartment, I don't want to go back to my boring job, I don't want to see my parents who will just say how much of a burden I am again.. But if I had no choice and I would be forced to go back to the outside world, I think I would.. I just remembered how messy my room was. I really have to clean it, don't I..

Naomi: I think I would just move to a different town. I wouldn't be able to stay there after everything I've done. I love my students, I really do, but going back to that school would be too painful. Maybe I'll be able to start a new life, but I know I will never forget about my crime. Also I would never talk to my parents after that. I would ignore their phone calls, I would ignore their messages, I wouldn't tell them where I am. My siblings?.. Maybe I would talk to them, but I'm not sure if I can trust them.

Kei: I would just keep living like I did before arriving here, that's it. I miss the one who inspired me too much and I want to go and see him as soon as I can. I hope he's not feeling too lonely without me.. Hm? You think he already escaped? Haha, now, maybe I did kidnap him, but he stayed with me because he was okay with that. He was too sick and tired of everything, so I basically saved him. Uh, what do I want to do when I see him? You really want to know all the details?.. I'm just joking around, don't look at me like that. I want to take another photo of him, of course. But I think I would want this photo to be a bit different from my other works. It would be nice to see him smile and take a picture of it when I come back.

Eiko: I'd just go back to my normal life. I have a lot to do, I want to graduate, I want to keep working as a model, who knows, maybe I'll become popular.. No, I don't care about my crime at all. That guy was pathetic, no one would miss him anyway. Well, maybe except his friends.. Hm, maybe I should kill his friends next.. Just kidding. They do deserve it though.

Asahi: .. Me and my mom will try to figure it out. That's all I can say right now. But I will get out of here. I know I will.

Yurika: It would be nice to see her again, but I don't think she would be proud of me for getting caught. Also, I have a question: if I kill someone again, does it mean that I'll be sent back to this place? Because if so.. oh no, I'll become useless to her.. Ah, I also have to watch everything on my list when I come back. Sure, maybe I can watch some anime here too, I don't know how this place works, but doing it in prison is just.. weird.

Riku: I don't know about other high schoolers, but for me, I'd have no problem with moving on and living like nothing happened. Listen, that guy's death was so predictable that when he died, everyone just went "Yeah, I should've seen that coming". Other students didn't care and they just felt sorry for me, meanwhile the adults were like "Oh no, how horrible, we will just use his death to show how bad bullying is and we will talk about it for like a week and then ignore the kids who are getting bullied and need our help".. Maybe I also should start acting like my real self more. Maybe people wouldn't judge me for that.

Reina: .. Haha, who knows, maybe I'll get a redemption arc or something. Yeah, maybe I'll just come back to my family and say how sorry I am while crying. And then I'll continue committing crimes while they think that I'm done with all that stuff!.. Acting like this is starting to become boring, honestly.

Eiji: To be honest, if it's possible, I would like to stay here and keep working as a guard. There's too many criminals to punish and I can't just let someone else do it instead of me. And getting replaced sounds.. A-anyway, if I still had to go back to the outside world, I'd try to live like a normal person. I would go to college, I would make friends, I would do things that I like.. And I also would do anything to make Kei go to prison again. But like, not this one, just the "normal" one. Or I would just ignore him and my parents and pretend like they don't exist.

Miki: Um.. I guess I still have to graduate high school.. And I also have to decide what to do after that.. And my grandparents probably miss me.. There's so much to do, it's so overwhelming to think about. Wait, how can I even explain what happened to me? Oh no, now I'm scared.. But also, if that's possible, I think I would invite Asa- um, Yano-san to live with me. I don't know if he really is my younger brother, but I don't think there's anyone who can take care of him when he comes back.

#man the high school gang is so funny. akio and aimi really have no idea what to do if they come back #meanwhile riku is like “yeah i'll sing another song with my boys when i come back” #and miki is just shaking and crying #shun's reply sounds so much like haruka now that i think about it #and yes their personalities are slowly changing even though it's not that noticeable with some characters! #and i just realized that asahi is technically responsible for both his mothers' deaths #like of course it's not his fault that his biological mom died right after giving birth to him #but also. his biological mother died after he was born and he killed his adoptive mother #and both his fathers hate him. one of them is also dead. this poor boy #LIKE THAT'S NOT EVEN MOMMY ISSUES ALL HIS MOTHERS JUST KEEP DYINGFJDJKKSDSDL #❔answering asks ❔ #🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️ #🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼 #👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑 #🌸prisoner 002: hanasaki aimi🌸 #💔prisoner 003: ishizu shun 💔 #🌿prisoner 004: chiba naomi🌿 #🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓 #💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎 #🍬prisoner 007: yano asahi 🍬 #🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀 #🎸prisoner 009: kuroki riku 🎸 #🎭prisoner 010: himura reina🎭

[milk-ly]

Fuuta and Mikoto as Character Foils

This amazing post talks about Fuuta's people pleasing tendencies and they mentioned how Mikoto is simillar, but does it in a different way. And I have NOT been able to stop thinking about it so I want to get my thoughts out about how Fuuta and Mikoto are character foils to each other.

Fuuta and Mikoto are pretty much complete opposites. They parallel in that they both desperately crave societal acceptance, but they differ in how they go about it. Mikoto tries to read the room and changes every aspect of himself in order to seem more friendly and amicable to fit in. He does things based on what he SHOULD do because it’s the societally accepted way to do things and he’ll be liked for it.

Fuuta doesn’t because it’s just how he is, his naturally fiery and argumentative temperament makes it hard for people to like him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to fit in but he isn’t willing to change himself the same way Mikoto is. Mikoto is friendly and approachable while Fuuta is the complete opposite.

But here’s the thing, he IS also like Mikoto in that regard because he is seen in MILGRAM actively changing himself in order to believe that he is that idealized self in Bring It On. He tries to be a representative for everyone and confronts Es for hurting Yuno during his t1 VD, despite having to hype himself up before charging up at them.

But still, no matter how hard he tries he can’t be that idealized self. He can’t fit in, because it’s not who he is. He wants to be accepted as himself! He wants friends he can share the same interests and opinions with to feel validated.

Portal Timeline conversation (2023/07/05):

Fuuta: "Oh, well. I guess I can understand a bit now. When you're feeling down, it's nice to have someone to rely on, someone who accepts you."

It's why Mikoto thinks Fuuta’s immature because Fuuta's unable to fit into society and "be an adult" like Mikoto can. Mikoto thinks that once you grow up, you need to buckle down and start conforming or else you'll never get anywhere in life. To him, it's disgraceful to be angry because it's frowned upon, and Fuuta's pretty much in a constant state of rage, which is why Fuuta has such a hard time finding acceptance. Every time they talk, they’re criticizing each other. Their first ever conversation starts with Mikoto lecturing Fuuta about how he can’t and won’t fit in and it (rightfully) ticks him off, especially since Mikoto can. It’s why they’re at each other's throats like every time they interact (which is pretty little). Mikoto even straight up has a line in the earbud collab about how Fuuta will never get any girls.

Fuuta is constantly considered by others as “immature” and “childish” such as Kazui saying that it's okay for Fuuta to be cocky because he's young or how Fuuta is constantly linked to games (typically associated with children). Or the fact that the lyrics from Bring It On: ""Kono yubi tomare" [is] a traditional saying from a traditional kid’s game."

On the flip side, Mikoto is constantly reminding people that he’s a working adult. Not to mention, Mikoto tends to hang around the older prisoners more (the smoker trio) while Fuuta interacts with the younger prisoners the most. (Amane, Haruka, and sometimes Muu)

Mikoto wants to be a cog in the machine and believes that if he works hard enough, he'll be able to make it in the workforce. Fuuta actively criticizes the workforce and how it's useless to work too hard, so he "goes with the flow."

There are so many smaller details too that emphasize their foil. Mikoto smokes, Fuuta hates smoking. Mikoto's voice is high and whiney while Fuuta's is deep and aggressive. Fuuta has an older sister while Mikoto has a younger sister. Both their parents are divorced but Fuuta is missing his mother while Mikoto is missing his father. However, one similarity is that they both SEEM to have good opinions about their moms while having questionable ones with their dads.

Something else I think about a lot is how Fuuta parallels with John. Especially concerning these lines from John when you realize John is pretty much the opposite of Mikoto too:

John might be the person Mikoto wishes he was. Someone who stubbornly stands their ground, someone who tries stand up for themselves and “gives people their just desserts.” Sounds rather familiar to a certain red-head, I must say.

In addition, they share a lot more similarities too, like their connection to the bright colour red, contrasted by Mikoto's light blue. They both have short tempers and jump at Es as a defence mechanism, in contrast to Mikoto having a fawn response and laughing everything off. They both use the first-person pronoun "ore" while Mikoto uses "boku." Both Fuuta and John have a deeper and more aggressive tone in comparison to Mikoto. Fuuta's symbolism as a brave knight protecting the weak and punishing evil parallels John protecting the "weak" (Mikoto) and acting as his saviour from threats. Mikoto couldn't stand up for himself so John did it for him, Fuuta "stood up" for the people hurt by the actions of the people he cancelled.

To add on to that, Mikoto’s name in kanji means “noble” or “revered.” Words that remind you of royalty, or a prince. (Boy princess fr fr) John being his saviour makes him his knight in shining armour. Matching with Fuuta’s knight symbolism!

Mikoto envies these traits in Fuuta yet hates them and purposefully suppresses them within himself because it's not socially acceptable to act like him. Fuuta likely similarity envies people who can fit in, like Mikoto. Perhaps the reason why the two are so irked by the other is that they each embody traits the other admires yet can't have.

But in the end, they both can’t really fit into “normal” society. Mikoto, who claims he can, is suffering to the point of breaking. Fuuta, who tried and finally found an ounce of acceptance and ally ship in his online buddies, ended up getting carried away and causing the death of someone.

I'm really surprised I haven’t really seen this mentioned or discussed very much. Sorry if it’s really obvious, I just wanted to point some stuff out. Anyway man, I love these two a lot and I would love to see more stuff diving into these two in a canon context too.

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #john milgram #milkly ramble

[saintlabrys]

Something I can't stand about this whole gender -fever or whataver is how it's cancelling/absorbing butch lesbian representation. I had been bullied my whole adolescence because of my appearance (tall and androgynous) and behaviour, I didn't have role models, mostly because many lesbian media were censored in the country in which I grew up and my family, because it belongs to a different culture, was a very conservative and traditional ones. Sometimes ago my mom told me she didn't even know homosexual people existed before moving from Albania. Growing up wasn't easy, I remember asking myself what was wrong with me and why I was a woman since everything would have been easier if I were born as a boy. That's why masc-butch representation is so dear to me and I'm angry about reinforcing gender stereotypes by saying that if you feel different from other girls you're probably not one. That's why I love Naoko Takeuchi, Creator of Sailor Moon, for stating that Haruka Tenoh (Sailor Uranus) is a girl

I love this mainly because western people want to portray her as non-binary/gender fluid or whatever just because she's very "masculine" (and also because of a manga panel, but I'll get there), I'm talking about her looking and hobbies. First of all... Androgynous women exists in real life, secondly there is no thing such as mainly hobbies but, yeah, I think I'll leave it for another post. Most people also ignore the fact that Haruka and Michiru were hugely based on Takarazuka Revue, since Takeuchi is a huge fan of it, In The Materials Collection, published in 1999, Takeuchi also revealed Haruka and Michiru were inspired by two actresses in particular but she didn't want to share their names.

What's Takarazuka review? Takarazuka Revue is a Japanese all-female musical theater that was founded in 1913. as an all-female troupe in order to attract a wider audience and fill a gap in the male-dominated theater scene. There are two kinds of actress in their plays: musumeyaku and otokoyaku. Musumeyaku are the ones who play feminine roles, while otokoyaku play the masculine ones. In order to become an otokoyaku you must have certain qualities, such as being tall. Haruka is 5'10" (180cm) and described as androgynous and act "manly". That's why Usagi and Minako when they met her they thought she was a man. Otoyaku, while training, also need to study how to "behave like a man", this comes from an article published in the late 90s:

As I said otoyaku, the majority of them at least, only play male roles, and as we said Takarazuka was born to fight a male-dominated scene. However, there's more, in the same article they spoke of otokoyaku's appeal on female audience:

Furthermore, this is what a former otokoyaku said about what being a otokoyaku really means:

Otokoyaku are the idealization of men played by women who knows what other women want!! Since Haruka character is mostly based on this idealization, this is what Takeuchi meant when in the manga she had michiru saying Haruka is "both a man and a woman", I hate seeing how this phrase is used as a gotcha by gendies when they don't even consider the social and cultural contest behind a certain media.

#radfem #radblr #radical feminism #gender critical #radfems please interact #radfem safe #radfems do interact #radical feminst #lesbian #sailor moon I guess as well #terfblr

[aikrus]

Don’t Let Me Fall (Too Far From Grace)

 +        *   ⊹   　 °.         * ✧        + * 　 ⊹ 　  °.    * ✧       + *     ⊹  °    . *  ✧ 

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cw: Major religious trauma for Y/n, enjoy. Swears, violence, cults, misogyny, self-mutilation, public abuse, parental abuse, attempted murder, self-defense, poison

A/n: a short glimpse into the makings of dadzawa; with an angsty Y/n religious quirk struggle

 summary: There’s a part of Shouta that hates his job. While he can handle the annoying brats, unstable quirks, rude comments, life-threatening danger, and annoying hours, there’s just some things not even Shouta could tolerate.  There’s a girl in his class. She’s nice but a little too quiet for it to sit right. He’s a teacher, been one for years and was a hero for much longer-- He knows the signs when he sees them.

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“Brother Haruka,”

“Father Y/l/n; it’s always a pleasure.” Clasped forearms greeted one another, eye to eye they examined the other. Smiles filled each room and yet the tension was so thick, thick, thick; she looked to her mother but found a void in her place.

It crept into Y/n’s throat like sludge, chocking on the breath that filled her lungs as she swallowed for the fiftieth time that service. The eyes that followed, the eyes that glared, the eyes that widened, all at her, at her, at her. She kept her head down. 

The family of five- a strong pastor father, the beautiful but sickly motherly wife, the silent eldest son, and the perfect youngest daughter. And Y/n, lost somewhere in the mess of facades they seemed to exchange so rapidly.

Or maybe lost was the wrong word, seeing as everyone could find her, the daughter of the pastor, the picture-perfect symbol of what they stood for, quirkless, pure, devine; up until four months ago. 

Four months ago, when her world changed.

1-A kept a keen eye on Y/n, her silent passing and downcast eyes demanded attention from the rowdy bunch, but it was her appearance that caught them off guard the most. 

Denki had asked about them once, resulting in a panic attack and mute classmate which lasted a week before she would speak in a quiet, fragile tone. It got worse before it got better. 

She could feel them-- the eyes, eyes, eyes. Following her, ridiculing her, judging her. It broke Shouta’s heart.

“She’s just a girl, our little girl,”

“It’s a heathen!”

“She’s done nothing wrong,”

“It’s got horns god bless me!”

“Dear, she’s still our Y/n, our little angel,”

Her knees were pulled to her chest, listening silently at the top of the stairs to the hushed and not so hidden argument of her parents. Y/n’s father damning her, and her mom, desperately trying to cling to her life.

“That thing’s no angel-- it’s the devil.”

“What are you doing out here, kid?”  Aizawa cringed inside watching the girls entire body stiffen. 

“I’m sorry sir, I'll go back inside.” Her wide eyes became fixed on the floor, shoulders slouched but still full of twisted anxiety.

“You’re not in trouble, Y/l/n.”

“I’m not?” Her face stayed down, but she was finally looking directly at him, so Shouta counted this as a win.

“No,” he walked to the railing she had previously been leaning against, “There’s no rules against being on the rooftop. I just thought you might get cold.” He gestured to her head when he said that, causing her to flinch softly.

“I see.”

She still scurried away, leaving the concerned teacher by himself on the rooftop.

The horns that began to grew from the front corners of Y/n’s skull had been easily hideable when she noticed the growths. She teased her hair, wore headbands, dawned a head-scarf for modesty, but then her sister accidentally pulled it off her head during dinner, exposing them to the entire family. 

That was the first night Emi had crawled into Y/n’s bed and cried since she was six and saw her big sister be punished for the first time. Punished. 

The Shinja were many things, devote, united, pure, and forgiving. They believed in one thing above all else, God’s eternal and limitless magnanimity. For a sin their must be penitence, must be a beg for forgiveness. 

For Y/n, this meant one thing.

It started small, Y/n found a scarf waiting for her on the railing when she made her way to the roof that night. It was nice, it was warm; something Y/n struggled with being. 

Then Aizawa would stop by when it turned past midnight, sending the quiet girl back inside to stop her from catching a cold. And now, they coexist.

“Was--” she paused before shaking her head, looking back out to the grounds behind UA. 

“What is it, kid?” He paused for an answer before breaking, “You can ask questions you know.”

“Was Iida right?”

Silence. 

“That’s really up to you. At the end of the day, you decide what kind of hero you want to be. Your hero uniform is a big part of that identity, so if you think that’s a necessary part of that then you should keep it.”

Y/n played with the delicate silver cross dangling from the chain across her neck before looking up to the sky, just like Aizawa saw her do earlier during class.

“Kay.”

The conversation from the classroom had been a tense one to say the least. Iida, in his self-correct but oblivious way, asked the quiet girl, “Don’t you think it may be offensive to wear a cross as part of your hero costume? Won’t people feel imposed upon? Besides, very few people are catholic after the development of the quirk gene. Would it not, perhaps, be a better choice to remove that aspect from your uniform?”

Y/n had, at the time, only responded briefly, “Why would people be offended by a necklace?”  Everyone looked up to the mounds above her head. No one said a thing. 

A few days later he finally broke, “It was surprising I suppose. Not like I care, but people aren’t really religious anymore.”

She tried not to think about it, and she continued to try not to think about it long after she had left the rooftop. People aren't really religious anymore. Y/n tried to think through what makes a religion a religion, where things started to turn after quirks were made. Some religions embraced them as a new moral test of god, others claimed it disproved God entirely. Some drew strange connections claiming the bible predicted it all along.

Y/n is sitting in her room when it happens. She's absent-mindedly rolling her silver cross necklace between her fingers while ignoring her homework when she things- it would be so much easier if I wasn't religious anymore.

It felt dirty, like a dangerous secret. What does it mean to be religious on a personal level? She isn't allowed on the campound, let alone in the church. She doesn't read the scripture any more, nor does she pray genuinely. After a few cafeteria visits with Kaminari keeping her company she's even began to speak the lord's name in vain. Yet Y/n is so sure, in her heart and center of everything, that there is spirit within her.

She thinks about the religion she learned about the first time someone called her hometown a cult. She googled what the word meant and learned about a different group, a group that drank poison and passed away as a whole. Y/n can't think of another species that would do that and thinks they must have spirit.

The eyes from the pews followed her as she walked, head bowed as she pushed forward, past every person she ever knew, towards her father. Her father who forgave her, who actually forgave her. Forgave her monstrous appearance, was willing to look past the disgusting curse she had. She loves her father. So she kneeled willingly before the cross and bowed her head fifty times before turning on her knees towards her father.

A hush fell over the chapel.

She accepted the holy blade from her father.

She lifted it above her head. 

The scream echoed through the room, bounding back towards her from the walls it landed on. The blade moved back and forth, until her world became deathly still.

Her father placed his hand upon her head, gently ending the assault. “You’re doing well, my child.” Each following day was ended with her in the privacy of her family's bunker, penance following shortly after. 

She was repenting for her sins, but there was a silent acknowledgment among everyone. For Y/n, who never stopped sinning, there must be constant repentance. Nothing short of unyielding devotion. The days blurred together, so did her memory. 

Y/n looked up at the board, eyes coated with gloss and filled to the brim with pain, pain, misery. ‘Quirkless Study.’ A lesson on discrimination, of differences, of acceptance. Forty seven minutes of something she’d kill to get out of-- something she’d die to get out of. 

The class wasn’t today, thank God, but it was soon. Soon, being tomorrow. Tomorrow, class, quirkless, pure thing, stuck, school, mistake, thing, thing, thing. Words echoed through her head, too fast for Y/n too pick them apart, too fast to be remembered, just fast enough to hurt. 

Y/n stayed on the roof from after school to midnight, far too long in the cold, too long without eating, too long for no body to have noticed.

“Fucking hell, kid. Why are you out here?”

Aizawa-Sensai dropped in and wrapped his scarf around Y/n’s shaking body, noting both the absent look in her eyes and the festering fear lying just beneath the surface.

"Y/l/n? Are you with me?"

What a silly question. Of course she was with him, they're on the same rooftop– he's got a hand lying gently on her shoulder.

"Because you seem a little far away."

And didn't that make so much sense. Because they were right next to each other, much like how her dad was right in front of her, yet both of them were miles away from where Y/n was.

"I'm sorry, sensei."

He froze, "it's Allright, Y/n, it's going to be okay."

The need to gasp for air clued her in that she'd started to cry. The warm tears burned her frigid skin.

"Hey, hey," Aizawas voice rumbled deep in his chest, "careful there." He tapped her knuckles which had turned white with the force she had been digging her nails into her arms.

"I don't want to go to school tommorow."

She winced but he didn't answer her. Saying the words out loud felt different than the mantra from her head. It all seems a little silly now. Y/n wanted to be a hero after all, and here she was; scared to go to class.

The man leveled his eyes with her and sighed, raising a hand between her two curled horns and patting the top of her head.

"It's not silly, Y/n."

She wrinkled her nose at him, unsure of his meaning and was floored when he began to laugh. "You mutter, but that's okay. You don't have to be a hero yet; not today and not tomorrow. For now you are still a child, and you deserve to feel the safety that should come with that."

It felt odd, to feel so cold you want to shiver and yet melt from the inside out. Maybe, maybe that was true. Maybe she will be a hero in a few years, maybe less. But tonight she wasn't, tonight she could feel as little as that sentence made her. Small and safe, so fucking fragile but perfectly protected.

It made her want to cry.

-----------------------------------------------------------

and there we have it. I know it's a little random but I feel like sometimes we carry the weight of lifetimes with us and forget how young we are in the grand scheme of things. It's okay. We'll figure this out together.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero fanfic #boku no academia #my hero academia x reader #bnha x reader #boku no hero acadamia oc #boku no hero academia #bnha aizawa #dadzawa #bnha hurt comfort #my hero acadamy #my hero academia #my writing #aizawa shouta #mha aizawa #mha x reader #my hero fanfic #my hero x reader #bnha requests #religious trauma #religious imagery #religious abuse #tw religion #tw abuse #tw torture #tw whipping #aizawa shouta imagine #aizawa x reader #aizawa and reader

[randomidiocyncrazies]

My pal and I got through most of T2 (only Mikoto and Kotoko left), so. here's what i think happened for each case:

Haruka: killed a bunch of animals to get his abusive mom's attention, so the mom had him institutionalized (for his violent behavior and/or implied developmental disabilities...?) and then he killed a little girl while institutionalized bc his mom left him there to rot/didn't care about him. no idea how he got his hands on the girl though; maybe she's a visitor (so most likely a relative) or a fellow ward??? idk

Yuno: yes it's an abortion (maybe multiple abortions). has intimacy issues and can only get fleeting warmth when she's playing a role for her clients. i'm honestly not sure why she's even here in the first place—i assume it's cultural differences at play?

Fuuta: what we thought in T1, and we clearly see that his victim was just a young teen (uniform looks like middle school). really fucking regrets it, especially after he's unforgiven and brutalized by Kotoko

Muu: my pal and I thought it was weird that she seemed way more vindictive towards the girl who ignored her but also didn't bully her (which we thought was her best friend/crush) in T1, but with T2 it turns out Muu was a bully herself and the girl she killed seemed disgusted by her actions/was the target of bullying before something changed so Muu became the target of bullying instead... so maybe Muu hates her the most because she sees it as the girl "not knowing her place" and blames her for her misfortunes?

Shidou: a confirmation of what we thought from T1, except it's brain-dead patients; at one point my pal thought he just failed to save people and blamed himself, but the voice drama makes it clear he's been pressuring relatives to euthanize brain-dead patients to facilitate organ donation.

Mahiru: she didn't accidentally kill her boyfriend in a fight like we thought; looks like the bf tried to break up with her, but she's oblivious to it and kept talking like they're gonna get back together so that pushed him over the edge maybe? it's really sad bc her self-esteem clearly comes from "being in a relationship" and her obsession with love implies that it's the only achievement she feels she can long for/try to achieve? also it's her 1st relationship and the bf also fed her cake, so i kinda think the relationship was a bit messed up on both their ends (she treats him how he treats her), and by the time bf noticed how unhealthy it was, it had progressed to the point where he felt like there was no way out but death

Kazui: this man is gay, and his wife killed herself when he came out to her after being in the closet pretty much his entire life. (i've also seen theories that he's alloaro, but given his first love was "probably [his] elementary school teacher" in the Q&A & "if I said i like-liked you (omae), what would you do?" in Cat, i think that's less likely than him being gay)

Amane: cult upbringing confirmed, and she killed her mother for violating the teaching of "living things must live out their ordained destiny"—the mom killed the cat Amane was caring for, which deffo interferes with the cat's ‘natural destiny', and the same dogma was used to punish/torture Amane for giving medical attention to the cat in the first place.

#milgram #honestly not sure where i stand on milgram's depiction of neurodivergence #like. i think giving one of the 'murderers' a violent split personality is insensitive #but i also think the 'violent' alter didn't actually kill anyone and took credit for his host's murder(s) to shield him from the fallout #and Haruka being Like That is pretty clearly due to his family's abuse/neglect instead of his possible developmental disabilities #so i don't think Milgram is necessarily saying ND people are predisposed to harming others or w/e #but at the same time. i do think it's a bit dicey in terms of optics

[oofuri2003]

Hanai transgenderism musings

I think trans readings of hanai's issue w his first name (azusa) are like the biggest easiest thing to latch onto for obvious reasons so might as well muse abt it. What we can gather is: Azusa is his first name, his mom named him, and he hates it. From what he says to tajima & nishihiro we can infer that he hates it bc it is traditionally a female/feminine given name.

In a transmasc reading it's easy to imagine "azusa" as his birth name/deadname, something he hates for being feminine or ill fitting, or bc of dysphoria, etc. If I was personally extending this you could imagine a hanai who has been dragging his feet on choosing a new name, too indecisive and perhaps too attached to "azusa", or worried about the social aspect of having to change it and tell people. OR too worried about changing it bc of his mom's obvious love for the name/she chose it and he has a v close relationship w her

I dont think a transfem reading of hanai from this is rly a stretch tho and it is my personal favorite of the two. Imo it fits his character p well: hanai is a person who fundamentally cares and stresses about how he is perceived, acting "normal" or "cool", and fulfilling his role, whatever that may be in the moment (as a son, a student, a captain, a cleanup hitter, etc).

To me a transfem read of hanai goes like this: as a young kid, he actually has no issue w his given name. Maybe he even likes it (likes that its fem, likes it bc his mom chose it and theyre v close, etc). Upon entering elementary school, he becomes aware that he has a "female" given name, and you can imagine that this is perceived as worthy of mockery by peers (I'm thinking similar to what happens to haruka from free). Hanai internalizes this - having a girl name, as a boy, is bad and worthy of derision. In my read of this his internalization of this fact causes him to become secretive and averse to being called azusa by others (notably, in canon, he seems unbothered by his sisters using his first name at home, and only bothered by his mom doing it in public). Even if he personally likes his own name, and in this read maybe even really likes that its a feminine given name, he has to keep up acting like he hates it, because that is what he is supposed to do. Boys are supposed to hate being named girly things. Being comfortable with his given name might give something away, or make him seem like there is smth "wrong" w him, bc he doesnt feel the "right" way about it. And, notably, he can avoid having to even broach any of that by just not sharing it in the first place.

Idt its hard to imagine hanai overthinking himself into this hole but also more broadly overthinking and rationalizing his own dysphoria which makes trans hcs for him so salient and fun to think about imo

#ig i accidentally posted it instead of saving it as a draft. whatever 6 am musings be upon ye i guess 😭

[dirt-str1der]

Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?

I think none of them had rights

#Thanks for the ask ! #like you have to actively like girls to notice them theyre inconsequential #also who is this why are you sewing discorse in my inbox #i spelled discourse wrong. my mom ordered the dog trainers to train ollie right now because he is insane and hes eating soo many treats #not because hes a good boy but because they are tossing that shit at him #they were literally almost there with yasuko #i thought her story was so fucking interesting ... #like its really not a fault of the girls they are all pretty good characters in their own right #like we have a variety of them too. we had miss tatsu who was out there turning guys inside out but she randomly had to go get kidnapped in #order to complete kiryus training arc. like how funny would it be for the whole thing to be staged and miss tatsus like Lol good job kiryu #for passing my test. oh this guy ? yeah he did get the better of me but i kicked the shit out of him then roped him into my schemes. dont #you think practical application is more effective than training ? anyway theres nothing more i can teach you but you can come train whenevr #we didnt even get an in game appearance for yuko but apparently she was a massive troll but too cute to get into any real trouble #mirei was. . . i literally said ‘are you kidding me’ when they revealed what happened to her like seriously ? is this real ? they did #that ? like literally she should have been living it up in cahoots with katsuya and being so sexy and divorced forever. she should have #faked her death because every single parentsl figure haruka had leaves her. and god haruka like honest to god i love that she just ran off #like that i thought it was so kiryu of her to be an absent father. but also my friends have all brought up very good points which is that #haruka should NOT have gone back to morning glory like she should have stayed in ono michi with her loser girlfriend whos a boyfriend with #her new extended family and only go back every now and then to see her siblings honestly i hated that .... like girl spread your wings .. #choose where you want to roost stop going back !! just get out !!!!!! its literally okay to tell the rest of your family ‘i dont wanna wipe #your asses forever i love you guys but im out of here’. and god i .. as much as i loved y0 makoto should have left her shitassed husband #girl had a whole ass baby with him ... find someone better im sorry ..!!! like whatever i know that thst was the ‘best’ option for her and #she deserves financial stability and a rich doctor husband but she also deserves crazy sex with a girl with one eye #i think what yumi did was awesome but like. actually i have no complaints about yumi. wait no i do. kazama was a shitass for marrying her #off to that politician because he couldnt stand having a woman in his house. im now thinking of that unecessarily hot doctor from y0 wtf was #her deal. and god the unnecessarily hot cho-han lady from y5.. oh wait ako had rights. she fell in love with kiryu at first sight then got #over him which is literally the best thing a girl could do for herself. PLUS she throws molotovs and is generally awesome #i cant remember any other girl. oh yeah god reina. .. reina .... god milky though .... i think she was fantastic and i want her badly. and #yayoi fucking disappeared after a certain point in time and ran off to another city with her baby daddy and sugared him to open a bar #well its not canon but im certain thats what happened because she literally went radio silence like girl where are you ....

[docholligay]

I feel like Mercymorn could fit into the world of Sailor Moon as an embittered, grieving Senshi whose Princess demanded her beloved’s death outright.

hHmmmmHmmmmm hmmmm Mercymorn as a Sailor Moon villain, then?

I mean picture it. So, Mercymorn was one of Queen Serenity's Senshi, and she saw how the whole business went down, and she lost her love, and she fucking HATES the moon. She paid everything, and for fucking what? She* sees this whole round two nonsense coming around, she is the last woman standing, and she is so angry and bitter over it.

So what does she do? She sees Michiru, a young woman who is not thrilled about the situation she's in, and even less thrilled about the idea that Haruka might end up dying in service to this. That on some level, Haruka WANTS a cause to die for,** and this is as good as any.

And she whispers. She tells her the truth, actually, and that might be all it takes. Usagi would never suspect Mercymorn, because Usagi is an idiot, and "she was my mom's guardian, isn't that neat!" would be the only thing to fill her head along with, I don't know, Careless Whisper or something. Mina would be over here like, "hi, I'm worried we're going to have an insurrection, can I pretty please bitchslap Mercymorn?" and usagi of course is, 'Mercymorn is our friend!"

Meanwhile, things are beginning to take shape in Michiru's mind, that there might, after all, be a way she can save Haruka. If she has the nerve. Mercymorn has her back on this one, even if no one else does, and Usagi will absolutely let them get the drop on her. Michiru may be cut down, but Haruka will live, at least.

*and maybe Augustine, actually. I don't know, but I love their dynamic. I'll actually pull a quote from an email I recently sent a friend: "Mercymorn and Augustine are both the most magically divorced without ever being married and their cause is the child they have joint custody of but they have to do switches in the Denny's parking lot because they can't be trusted to not kill each other in private."

**I've been thinking a lot lately about 'characters likely to get themselves killed' and what different shapes that can take. I could see both haruka and Lena getting their asses killed very easily, but the core of it is so fundamentally DIFFERENT.

[canonsinthehead]

My Review of Yakuza 8/Infinite Wealth.

I'm back! Few days I've completed the game Yakuza 8 and will take the time to share my thoughts on it. Brace yourself!

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. I ASSUME YOU’VE PLAYED THE GAME BEFORE READING THIS.

THE STORY: 4/10

A 50/50 roller coaster between clutching your pearls and an abyss of nuclear waste storytelling trash.

The whole story sounded good on paper, but its execution was poor especially past the first part of the game with Ichiban. Going between his lowkey undermined POV and another attempt (for the 124654th time) for a redemption story for Kiryu like almost all previous Yakuza games. Oh no! Am I dead?! Looks like I am. See you next game!

Many plot holes dragged the story to filth. Minor points/elements were expanded on meanwhile important ones were ignored.

WHAT I LIKE & DISLIKED ABOUT THE STORY:

LIKED & DISLIKE: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT It’s the game’s strength but also its weakness as this game greatly focuses on the character development of the protagonists. Like how in one minute, I was clapping for Kiryu’s newfound maturity and admitting his past faults (something he failed to do since the start of the Serie in my opinion) to the next 5 minutes I’m vomiting at full force because Mr. Repeat-the-same-mistakes Kazuma wants to (yep you guessed it...) go back to the Yakuza. He went as far as disrespecting Daigo, Majima & Saejima for it as if they were obligated to follow him in his shenanigans. He is so hell-bent on being the 1# Yakuza mammy AND CONTINUE TO PUT HIS ADOPTED DAUGHTER HARUKA TROUGH HELL. Thank you Akiyama for trying to punch some sense in him, i would have done the same.

I understand the theme of shame was prevalent with Kiryu but at this point hurry up and die to take the Yakuza out with you (his words not mine). We fell for the clickbait since Kiryu is still among us smh.

As for Ichiban, many points were missing especially a more organic/verbalized connection and relationship with his mom. As much I liked Chitose’s act of redemption at the end, the “lets-stop-everything-so-i-can-disclose-my-boohoo-backstory-so-yall-can-feel-bad-for-me” had me shaking my head into an earthquake (ok I’m lying cause I was snoring). On a positive note, this is why I like the character of Tomizawa since he often came into opposition to Ichiban’s opinion and morals giving unfiltered thoughts.

DISLIKED: DÉJÀ VU & REPETITION DÉJÀ VU! DÉJÀ VU! DÉJÀ VU! The story’s white shirt is so stained with déjà vu spaghetti sauce it's giving rubber bullets, and my undisclosed brother is a CIA agent (if you know you know). Family dysfunction leading to resentment, daddy issues, Maury Povich, Tojo Clan conflict of the day word salad, The Big Bad Chinese™, etc. I know these topics are broad, but many were seen before IN THE EXACT SAME WAY but with different characters along with scenes being replayed as well…

DISLIKED: OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR: KASUGA ICHIBAN! as we could see, they gave Ichiban the Shonen protagonist/Jesus treatment (he is video game Luffy with the outfit too and the ultimate powers of Baryon Mode level Talk no Jutsu). It was all foreshadowed by the blasphemous promotion pic they released. Ironically this same image told us about the presence of a traitor (also the choice of name; Ebina. Hebi = Snake in Japanese) but I digress. Not only the trope is overdone in general, but the issue is also that they are taking away from his realistically “human” qualities and lowkey dehumanizing him into the untouchable unbreakable hero. I’m saying this because in Y7 the dream of being a hero was more him tapping into his inner child and resolving the lost time but now it's my hero = I’ve never met someone like you, Jesus. This same trope was an important point of Kiryu’s demise and (literally) suicidal tendencies. It’s like he’s too good for tears outside of being weaponized during talk no jutsu.

HATED: THE TOJO CLAN IS IN TROUBLE! No matter how much the disbandment of the Tojo and Omi was official we are still talking about the Yakuza conflict as if it’s not 2023-2024. I understand a big part of its presence it demonstrates how much people hold to past ways of life, but I am TIRED of the “Tojo this, Tojo that” like it never disbanded. This long sequence of rambling about hierarchy and the fight for power always sends me into a deep sleep. It always takes 2-3 business days to build everything back in place as if it never disbanded smh and it happens EVERY TIME. Ok, I’m being a hater. I’m sick of the Tojo Clan.

To be fair, it gets worse and worse as the game continues. the first half of the game is fair to display realistically the life of an ex-yakuza in a coherent way in the first part of the game. it may sound like i'm contradicting myself but everything akuza-related gets lost in the sauce further in the story. i just blinked and now it's all about a white saviour and Japanese nationalisim (mentionned by Daidoji family). TF?!

DISLIKED: TEENAGE DREAM ROMANCE I’m not a fan of the romance between Saeko and Ichiban. It seems forced and something the authors came up with for a plot device. Saeko always served One Piece’s Nami when it pretended to her follow male party members (not romantically attracted regardless of proximity). Ichiban you are too old to be this clueless, but I thought this aspect was both at the same time cringe as hell and deeply hilarious.

DISLIKED: FORGIVENESS I think I've said it before, but forgiveness was a big theme but why its always extended to people who need to be thrown in a dumpster and set on fire? This showed how much Ichiban wanted to successfully accomplish the redemption mission which failed with Masato. Which is cool I guess and measures up to Ichiban’s character. It would have been nice to see villains being villains (to the exception of Yamai, protect him at all cost) like Ebina could have openly rejected Kiryu’s teary kabedon, Eiji being left in the dumpster where he belongs or let him surrender himself on his own accord. I was praying for Dai-Jima-Jima to stand on business and reject Kiryu after being disrespected but mam I was wrong. Not saying people don’t deserve a second chance but it was overdone.

Also, the “naïve-and-my-friends-can-do-no wrong” theme with Ichiban was frustrating at times but paid off sometimes. i will lay off the hater train since characters like Sawashiro got what he deserved many times.

NOT A FAN: FANSERVICE & PLOTHOLES The entire presence of characters like Zhao and Joongi was for fanservice (let’s bring back these fan favorites!). they had no real reason to be there ESPECIALLY Zhao. What is he a cook? You are not part of or the leader of the Liumang anymore. Plot holes were filled with Joongi and “the BBC-Sherlock-Holmes-logic” If he could get so much info, why not include him earlier? I’m sorry to go there but the over-focus (and even further) Seonghui’s whole endeavor was to satisfy the male gaze. It’s a Yakuza game after all catered towards the straight male demographic, I’m not delusional. I'll tolerate it to some extent since they have beaten the character assassination allegations for her but WHY AM I SEEING HER BARE FEET?! Let’s be honest, Dai-Jima-Jima appeared for fanservice as well (like they already did in Y7 smh)

HATED: RACISM Chitose. I’m not gonna say more…

DISLIKED: THEY HAD TO INCLUDE THEM VTUBERS! The concept of Vtubers seemed out of place and unserious compared to the story. The protagonists are suffering under the weight of defamation… OOPS! Let’s cut to this Donald Duck Opioid voice having Vocaloid exposing the government. The most valid source of information around! NO FAKE NEWS HERE! Like What?!

ADORED: THE HUMANIZATION OF KIRYU KAZUMA I love how the sensibility, and vulnerability of Kiryu were put to the forefront. Regardless of this game's bad attributes, seeing the man behind the Dragon of Dojima was heartwarming admit his prominent flaws was amazing. This game turned me into an avid Kiryu’s stan. I love his new design, dark colors, and grey hair fit him and his fat ass. Hence why it was painful to see Kazuki and Yuya being avoided by him when they recognized the man’s humanity and pained heart. I will not forgive Kiryu for that.

LIKED: ALL THE PURISTS, DEAD IN A DITCH! I’m rejoicing as this game is RGG/Yakuza games purists’ worst nightmare. The Reddit bros and the “lets-keep-RGG-Japanese” crowd are suffering. First when Ichiban was released for looking “foreign” but now that he is biracial confirmed, THEY CAN PACK IT UP! A game in the USA and moments with pseudo woke agenda (their words not mine). I am feasting on their tears. Again I’m not delusional, RGG will always stay true to their main target audience but I'm celebrating every loss they get, IDC.

ADORED: FUNNY MOMENTS there were many funny moments. Going from unhinged Seonghui, Adachi & Nanba goofing around and Joongi revealing more of his personality. I had many good laughs. Of course, nothing tops all the overprotective toxic boy mom/dusty 40yo son interactions with Kiryu and Ichiban. i almost fell from my chair with the whole "policeman help! this scary tourist is trying to attack me as an america" and the infamous Bruddah!

ADORED: KAZUKI & YUYA perfect style update. They look amazing and better than anybody else. They give TVXQ on 10000% and they got fangirls. I’m dead.

ADORED: YAMAI if there is one thing RGG never fails to deliver on is their antagonists and vilains. i love his unhingedness, his class and how unpredictable he is. the drip is immaculate. aside from that, he has a interesting back story. his role fills up as both a father figure-like to Ichiban keeping him in check and an aloof ally. His taste in women is 124684/10 automatically making his a king.

ADORED: YU NANBA & ETC i really need to take the time say it but the character of Nanba in this game is crucial. His unmatched personality is allowing to revealed others' character. his conpassion (along with Seonghui, Saeko & Zhao) almost form a better party since they act like real friend.

GAMEPLAY: 5.5/10 The RPG-esque gameplay depends on the player's preference. Since I was watching my sister play, I could be biased and stopped after the completion of the main story but here’s the points I liked and disliked about it:

LIKED:

New Attacks. Many of them are super effective in defeating opponents fast.

Pound mates: they were super fun and helpful. While I wished for Yamai to have one as well. My favorite was the one for Kazuki & Yuya.

Kiryu’s Bucket & Memories.

Talk around the city & Bond Bingo.

Throwing Sawashiro in the river

DISLIKED:

LONG AS F. FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY (AS A VIEWER)

TOO MUCH DUNGEONS

THANKS FOR THE INFO, THAT LED US NOWHERE. (INFORMATION FETCH QUESTS)

ANIMAL CROSSING ISLAND

FINAL THOUGHTS & OVERALL NOTE. A Disappointment. i maybe forget certain things but this game missed the mark. In my opinion the negative out way the positive to the point of being bad. Especially when it comes to the story alone (the gameplay is great regardless of its flaws). I’m not going to repeat my previous point the game is not passing the vibe check. Now all the hype before its release makes sense, RGG made sure to drop spoilers to feed the thirst and so-called “mystery” of the game. The joke is on me since they already got my money and it's only now that we realize this game is not the best (not worth 130-ish$). It all felt like a Yakuza Gaiden extension while actively refusing to give Kiryu a close casket death.

Overall, 4.5/10. Do not recommend it. I honestly don’t knows if I will be there or care for any future RGG game release, it doesn’t look promising.

#rgg #rgg7 #rgg studio #yakuza infinite wealth #yakuza #yakuza like a dragon #kazuma kiryu #kiryu kazuma #ryu ga gotoku #ichiban kasuga #seong hui #joon gi han #han joon gi #jo sawashiro #reviews #my reviews #video games #kazuki #yuya #koichi adachi #yakuza imagines #yutaka yamai #yu nanba #nanba yu #tianyou zhao #zhao #seonghui #yakuza 7 #chitose fujinomiya #sawashiro jo

[correctproseka]

A list of every sekai oc from least communist to most communist bc i am bored and my pfp mostly everywhere is a commie miku:

--

20- Akito.

He is probably like a crypto dude until An kicked his ass and convinced him otherwise. He just has the vibes im sorry.

19- Mafuyu.

She just follows whatever her mom does so far, her mom is a big capitalis

18- Kanade

Here we start the neutral ones. Kanade doesn't know a single shit about politics she just wanna nap, valid, queen.

17- Shizuku

She has been an idol with money since as a child, i dont think she knows exactly why people are fighting, but she's on the side of fucking human rights :D.

16- Honami

She's afraid to speak up because of her classmates but she is starting to try and actually be on the side of who she believes in, thanks leoni, Go Honami!

15- Touya

He's going simply against his dad. He doesn't even know if he believes in it that much but he will defend it

14- Haruka

She's a bit confused but Airi is teaching her the ropes

13- Shiho

She's just silently on the commie side and would punch anyone who threatens her but she also kind of grew up rich so she's a bit confused at some things

12- Minori

She's a commie at heart but she's bad at economic and politics so she can't explain her thought very well and her arguments arent thw best

11- Kohane

She's always been against capitalism but not communist… until An. Now Kohane is going in

10- Tsukasa.

He forgets he's bi bc he's chanting for gay rights for Saki i love him.

"Of course i support gay rights my sister is gay"

"Onii-chan, you're also bi"

"... Oh right"

9- Nene

No Rui friend is a capitalist, duh, she hates Elon Musk with all that she have. But she considered investing one time too many to be higher.

8- Saki

Girlie may have lived a sheltered and kinda isolated life but the old ladies at the hospital have a lot of knowledge and some of them include GUILLOTINE

7- Ichika

No idea why just vibes, she doesn't feel like she'd be quiet about politics but i can't explain the reason why shes this high other than she has a lot of communist vibes

6- Mizuki

Does not buy clothes from big chains, they see an outfit from there that they like and recreate it themselves, its canon i know Mizuki personally

5- Airi

Man she would punch a nazi no second guessing. Go go Airi.

4- Emu

She may be rich but she studied economics and she hates capitalism, she had a bit to unlearn but Rui taught her well. Plus like. The wxs storyline is the most commie thing ever

3- Rui.

He literally would arson a bank or a billionaire house if you gave him the idea

2- Ena

Need I say more? She was actually gonna be first place but my friend realized she would fight about it more online then actually be on frontlines

1- An

She literally was created being know by the whole street. Takes a community to raise a child? Yeah thats An, of course she's communist. Leader of the communist rebellion im telling you

-----

This all taken from before main story but on like. 3 cases. Bc its easier.

#i hate that it doesnt let me get 20 pics so yall just get top like 8 #and some others that fit #project sekai #proseka #pjsekai #colorful stage #puroseka #prosekai #tsukasa tenma #an shiraishi #minori hanasato #ena shinonome #akito shinonome #mafuyu asahina #shizuku hinomori #kanade yoisaki #honami mochizuki #touya aoyagi #haruka kiritani #shiho hinomori #kohane azusawa #nene kusanagi #saki tenma #ichika hoshino #mizuki akiyama #airi momoi #emu ootori #rui kamishiro #toya aoyagi #emu otori

[archivalofsins]

Ask game!

Muu - 🪢 A headcanon about their family

Haruka - 🍫 A headcanon about food

Fuuta -💤 A headcanon about their sleep

Mahiru - 💝 A headcanon about their love language

Mikoto - 🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

Kotoko - 😺 An animal related headcanon

Oh, thank you for the ask!

Muu - 🪢 A headcanon about their family

We've been told that Mu's dad is a landlord who exports furniture, and her mom is a model. A part of me thinks it's funny to headcanon Mu's dad ae Mikoto's landlord for the bit. Yet another part of me is like those Teo jobs are heavily relayed to fraud, money laundering, and sometimes the illegal exportation or importation of goods. Not saying all people who have these careers do this, of course it's just something that came to mind, especially given the way Mu brags in It's Not My Fault.

Implying that a cover up of some sort has taken place. I headcanon that her dad and mom actually know what happened that day, which is why Mu has so much internalized guilt about it. Along with feeling useless or recognizing how much she was not needed and how things would be better if she just wasn't there. Not because her social group turned on her alone but because her parents may have made helping her in this situation seem like an inconvenience as well. Given that completely isolated feeling, we see illustrated in after pain. Because she relied on both groups to get something she wasn't getting from the other.

The board at the end also says something regarding her only benefitting off her parents. It's a bit of a sad hesdcanon, but I think about it a lot when we're mulling over Mu's case, especially given her praise seeking behavior that clearly comes out in response to being reprimanded.

She has this very I won't know if you're upset unless you tell me but if you tell me I won't really know how to fix it and I might think you hate me even if it's over something small.

I also think that she got the gift giving thing from her parents, particularly her mom. I imagine they may go shopping or out to restraints a lot. The dad isn't really present consistently, but they all spend time together, and he'd make time if asked. Yet, Mu probably doesn't ask because she doesn't want to bother him because he has a lot of very important business that's tough to handle, but he'll be here when he can.

Very normal family stuff is not as big as say Shinichi's parents just up and leaving in Detective Conan. Mu's parents clearly try to be present, but they very much just like Shinichi's case overestimating how independent and mature their kid is.

Haruka - 🍫 A headcanon about food

Since family came up; I think Haruka's mom could be why he has such a sweet tooth. Because she may have taken her kids to fairs or events a lot as children and gotten them sweets to snack on. Yet as Haruka grew older, it was something that his father may have found immature to continue. So, Haruka associates those sorts of foods with that better time and enjoys them on a rather emotional and comfort food level.

I think he may have been around expensive food to though. Like I always imagine his family is a bit well off but not as much as Mu's and his parents were kind of stickers for teaching their kids how to behave in public especially when it comes to eatting. So like his dad might have been that sort of you hold the fork this way type and you can't let him eat sweets all the time. Like we see him indulge in Milgram but his mom and dad in this scenario were maybe like this is a rare once in a while treat to only be had here.

So, I like to imagine Milgram gave him a bit more freedom when it came to deciding what he eats. However he Aldo likes when people care enough to go that's not healthy or i brought you some food like Mu does because if he was left to his own devices he knows he'd simply forget other food existed because sweets are that good. So, the things most would find overbearing about Mu or Mahiru, he would actually wind up seeing/feeling their behavior, is very helpful.

Fuuta -💤 A headcanon about their sleep

Oh, pre-milgram Futa was the type to game all night and sporadically sleep through the day. However, before college, he had a pretty proper sleeping schedule. He just got a bit indulgent after college started simply because he wasn't really interested in what college or adulthood really had to offer, so he took the why bother approach. He wants to have fun with people who like the same things he does, so of course, he might schedule his classes to be in the afternoon, sleep, or game most of the day, then ditch those classes. The teachers are stupid anyway waste of his school fees, really, but these others guys they get it.

In Milgram, though, I think his sleeping has been disrupted for a completely separate reason. As much as Futa blows up, he seems rather self-conscious and doesn't like being belittled. Unlike Mu, he's observant, but only of things he's neutral to. He can get blinded by his own opinion and speak without really recognizing how the other person is taking his words.

So, I like to think when he first got to Milgram he was too anxious about getting along with anyone here that sometimes he wouldn't be able to sleep and he'd walk around the panopticon at night similar to Amane going to get a warm glass of milk in that one minigram. Until he heard the noises from Mikoto's room and just started pacing around the eating area where the noise could barely be heard.

Then, when he got somewhat more comfortable, he could sleep without trouble until his verdict, which just kicked his general anxiety into super overdrive. Fucking up his sleep again.

Mahiru - 💝 A headcanon about their love language

Mahiru, for all her love for love, is to me only shown to love one love language above all else. Acts of Service.

She loves to receive acts of service, and she tries her best to mirror that for her partner. Lamenting about not being able to do it right because it's simply not the way she's best at expressing love. The love language she shows herself to be best at through her song and time in milgram is quality time, but she views that as inferior or not good enough. She's very good at actively listening, paying attention to others, and involving herself in their interests. So, good at it she doesn't even really recognize she's good at it anymore. It's not an active thing she has to think of doing she just does it.

Yet she wants the grand gesture to be fed by someone given gifts and feel pampered. So, she rightfully thinks if I like this they will too and communication begins to get hampered. Because it's like oh I liked it when you were just involving yourself with me and showing interest in my hobbies these grand gestures aren't really necessary..

"Why can't I do this right no one ever likes my attempts is the food bad is that it? I can cook better...I swear."

So she keeps going bigger, but it's literally just like they just want to hang out with you. Not all this they just like hanging out with you, and that's enough. Yet she doesn't really feel it is because all the books say its meant to be like this, and I feel best when they do this for me. So, I must be the problem here. I must be doing it wrong, and that's why things aren't working out. I need to try harder.

Like all correct sentiments, but the conclusion is incorrect. Some people just want to have a mundane non extravagant time and sit at joke just in your company, but that's a bit hard to grasp.

Mikoto - 🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

Managerial observation skills. Dude was made to be either a team lead or work solo no in between. He can be polite but he seems like the sort to hate and I mean really hate watching someone do something in a way that he believes is wrong. Like he would rather be in a biking accident than have his name on a project he does not agree with fully. Yet, he'd be too polite to come out and say that. Plus, working well with others is necessary for the job he's in.

He can't just go off on everyone around him he needs to be cordial, especially if he was a subordinate.

Despite that, Mikoto is pretty present when it comes to recognizing the quirks and habits of others. He's also not too harsh when discussing those things and tries to work around people's individual habits. He's good at recognizing the potential and strengths of the people around them. Along with advising them on how they could improve, as seen with Haruka. So, he'd be very good at behind the scenes work, project management, and review. He has a lot of natural talent when it comes to revising the ideas of others and highlighting the strengths of an individual. He's just very bad at knowing and applying those skills to himself.

Kotoko - 😺 An animal related headcanon

Wolves wolves wolves, she really loves them. However, I think her love of wolves comes from the fact they're pack animals, and she always wanted to have a group of her own to belong to. Outside of them genuinely being cool and strong. We see the one, of course, but she runs with multiple and many eyes are shown in Harrow. It's a lot like how Futa was looking for that sense of community and comraderie through people. While cleverly highlighting how differently people respond to a mob of people vs. a pack of animals. A lot of the time, when it comes to people, most can agree that having a mob mentality isn't right, and one should recognize when they're going too far.

However, since Kotoko's is more related to animals than people, there's this naturalistic carnal visceral reaction to go these are animals if they see something bad they just attack it. So, they must have felt threatened. Animals don't have the same comprehension skills as people, so this reaction was more than likely valid. Comparing Kotoko to wolves gives this very real sense that even an animal would have intervened because what the other person did was just that bad.

I think Kotoko sees things in that very black and white way as well. Based on her answers in her first written interrogation and this is why she relates so heavily to wolves. However, even though she sees herself in that wolf mentality. I think she'd be prone to liking small animals or prey animals. Like ferrets, mice, hamsters, the littlest of the bunch. Cause along with her wolf mentality, she's very focused on protecting the weak. She thinks it's the duty of the strong to do so. The job of the wolves to protect the sheep. Making it very likely she would be a big fan of herding dogs as well.

I feel like she'd also have a tenuous relationship with hunting given the wolf pelt in Harrow.

#milgram #gunsli rambles

[patchedupartist]

It’s crossover time!

This time its Soul Eater and Project Sekai! Here we have Mafuyu as Crona. I mean they both have mentally a*usive moms with witch motifs, fear their moms and disappointing them, somewhere on the trans/nb spectrum (or at least as I and many others HC Mafuyu to be lol, you can disagree w this ofc, no hate).

Anyway I already have a lot of ideas for this already so I’ll put them here as well!

Kanade takes Maka’s role (as in both SE and PJSK they try to save Crona/Mafuyu) and Honami is her weapon, she can transform into a double axe! Honami volunteered to become her weapon as she noticed Kanade was pushing herself far to hard on her own and Honami wanted to make sure she kept safe and healthy (Also HonaKana is my comfort ship, but this set up allows for both HonaKana and KanaMafu to exist lol). That’s the main beef of it, here’s the rest of the cast!

Meister Emu - Hammer Tsukasa* Meister Rui - some type of gun Nene (lol) Meister Mafuyu (demon weapon/ black blood/ bow and arrow) Meister Kanade - double axe Honami Meister Akito - sword Toya Meister An - Brass Knuckles/ gauntlet Kohane Meister Ena - Whip Mizuki (no dirty thoughts, even if Mizuki likes to make jokes) Meister Saki - Throwing lance/ spear Shiho and Armored shield ichika Meister Airi - crossbow shizuku Haruka - death scythe (can project soul wavelengths) who is training Minor to be a proper Meister  Loids as Profs and Miku as Lord Death herself uwu

*sorry for those who wanted a RuiKasa partnership but I imagine if they try to partner up their soul wavelengths would clash like when Black Star and Soul tried to pair up. For context -> https://youtu.be/BrcTG4Za_zY (slight blood warning, but it’s all comical)

#Project Sekai #project sekai colorful stage #project sekai fanart #project sekai crossover #asahina mafuyu #proseka mafuyu #kanade yoisaki #honami mochizuki #soul eater #expect more of this concept! #it'll take a while but I'm planning on completing it

[tokyogruel]

7 11 and 25 for the choose violence ask game GO RANCID 🔥🔥🔥

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

god. i hate him (/love him) for my own reasons too, but KIRISAKI SHIDOU. why? because he has the highest forgiven ratio despite doing fuck all to prove his innocence and actively hiding his sin- and people blindly trust this barely-doctor because they think 30 is old, a man who claims to have a family that looks like a carbon-clone-copy of HIMSELF must surely be a good person, and also- hes hot i guess. where did the media literacy and character analysis go for this motherfucker? you really are just gonna take him at his word, at the very surface, and dig no deeper?? what the fuck? hes hiding shit! hes scapegoating a fake family! he doesnt wear a wedding ring! WHO THE FUCK MARRIES SOMEONE AND HAS KIDS WITH THEM AND THEY ALL LOOK IDENTICAL TO YOU? i mean- harukas mom has brown hair, so does his (supposed) sister. muu's friends all look diverse and unique, mahirus boyfriend looks like mikoto A LITTLE BIT but its still very obvious he looks different from him. shidous family is all white hair light eyes and moles on their face. THATS JUST FUCKING SHIDOU AGAIN! ITS FAKE

"your lies hold no water" is an expression, his family literally evaporates into water, his cover songs are all about delusions and being a filthy fucking liar. CAN WE LIKE, ACTUALLY DIG DEEPER INTO HIM AND THINK FOR A SECOND? HES FAKE AS FUCK

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

1 and its literally niko mukuberrys "shidouhateposting" tag because i used to be like "omg my poor meowmeow nooo /sheds tear" until i realized niko was right about his ass, and then i forgot to remove it until i just checked my filters LOL.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

idr go into the main tag/my mutuals dont really complain about much so i dont have much to say about this one. but i guess i have some ones that irk me.

"omg why did yamanaka make mikoto a "scary" person with DID?" because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

"why do people even like muu, shes such a bitch!" because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

"why does everyone either interpret haruka as a soft uwu baby or a ruthless killer?" (hes neither btw, hes not a soft baby hes a dude with deep-seated trauma that makes him feel awful and regressed. hes not an evil bloodthirsty killer hes a dude with deep-seated trauma that makes it difficult to regulate his emotions, and he has nowhere to put his anger and fear when it eats away at him and he lashes out doing harmful things to try and pop that bubble)

also, because you take everything at face value and dont look into the characters beyond the surface

does anyone else smell a theme going on. d,oes anyone else smell burning toast

#creature speaks #ask tag #TYSMM #ihope im not coming across too mean here #none of my comments also are directed at anyone i only talk about the general/common/most popular thoughts and feelings on the characters