#i genuinely think I'm very funny

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

Random Bi-Han Headcanons MK1

this man has consumed my thoughts omfg i tried to fight it why am i always shocked when this happens

anyway, here's like a random selection of headcanons i have about this little bitch

warnings: none. my tomfoolery. bi-han being a gay loser.

bi-han x black biracial reader (gn)

he nearly cried when kung lao sliced him with that round blade (he did). boy was legit so upset and surprised he managed to get that blow in despite him being GRANDMASTER and kung lao being INCOMPETENT. picture that scrunch face you make when you trying not to cry and you keep blinking and your eyes burning- that's what he did (canon event)

he is the definition of Mean and Angry Bisexual™. boy is what i like to call a homophobic homosexual. he notices a hot dude or nonbinary person and immediately looks away and says via voice over "no. that is gay."

saw this on another random bi-han headcanon post and i absolutely agree: bi-han loves women of color. i think he primarily dates woc too hehe. let's say hypothetically he hates white people because of tomas. i didn't say that you did. we love tomas in this house btw. and like that same headcanon post; he has a preference for black and black biracial folks. i do not take criticism hehe. this is canon and a fact (he's dating me after all)

absolutely loves when you wear your hair naturally, in any style, he loves when you embrace your culture and family history. he'd never mention or talk about your hair to you, as it seems rude and disrespectful to him, but he thinks it. and he also thinks whenever you wear your hair in a full afro, he's never seen anyone so beautiful. each and every time it astounds him that he's still awestruck.

big cuddler. idc what anyone says, he loves to cuddle. he's literally the most clingy lil guy. after finally finding his person and being able to be vulnerable for the first time since his mother died, he just melts, and becomes inseparable from you. after a hard day, or when he's enraged (a rare occurrence), nothing calms his mind down or relaxes his tense muscles like wrapping an arm around you and pulling you flush to him, your back to him as you sleep soundly. he listens to your soft breathing (or snoring lets be real) and tries to calm himself from the day's frustrations. if you awaken from his entrance, and unsurprising cuddles, you'll touch his hand and squeeze, snuggling closer to him -as if he's not already melted into your skin- and smile as he kisses your jawline and the back of your neck. most of the time, you'll turn over to him, his arm not removing from your waist, and grab his face, kissing his face and lips. the two of you will remain as close, foreheads resting against the other, sometimes talking, sometimes enjoying the sweet silence until you both fall asleep.

like so many others have stated; he was way closer with his mother than his father. when he was a child, being around her was the only time he could actually put his guard down, and be vulnerable. she would protect him. spending time with his mother, were some of the few times he would laugh or smile, as she told him funny stories from her childhood, or tickle him to get a confession out of him, if he'd been the one to steal the last cookie. she was his everything. his closest person. his best friend besides his brothers. and her death broke him. he closed off even more than he already did, vowing never to let anyone besides his mother see his unguarded side. but if he was being honest -and not constantly pushing the thought from his mind- he broke down the night she died, sobbing uncontrollably alone in his room as he clung to the soft baby blue sweater she always wore.

I don't care what anyone says, I don't care what we see in the game or if official heights come out... bi-han is s h o r t. my headcanon is 5'9. that may seem short for him but he just radiates 5'9 energy i do not take criticism. my man is stout so it only makes sense that he a short king.

bi-han used to be inseparable from his brothers when they were kids, their father taking in tomas at such a young age, bi-han always remembers him being there. there isn't a single memory from his childhood that both his brothers aren't in. he'd never tell either kuai liang or tomas, but he cherishes those memories of when they were kids, when they'd play outside every single day, look for creepy and interesting bugs, practice combat, aka, someone ended up with a black eye and sobbing. whenever those memories pop into his head, his permanent frown softens a bit, though he tries not to let anything show on his face. part of him does wish he could be close to them like they were as kids, but he's too stubborn and full of himself to actually try and repair the relationship he's mostly stilted over the years.

~~~~~~~

just a few super random headcanons of my babygirl. may come back to some of these or write another part if i think of more. feel free to add onto these i crave bi-han headcanons!!!!!!!

#i genuinely think I'm very funny #don't take these too seriously but they are canon #sjsjsjsjs this was too fun to write #black reader x bi han til the end of days!!!!!!!!! #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat 2023 #bi han #sub zero #mk1 bi han #mk1 sub zero #mortal kombat 1 bi han #mortal kombat sub zero #bi han x black biracial reader #bi han x black reader #bi han x reader #sub zero x black biracial reader #sub zero x black reader #sub zero x reader #bi han headcanon #sub zero headcanon #mk1 headcanons

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long) #The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid) #(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it) #But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid) #I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

[kayvsworld]

sorry to be doing mcu throwback complaints again and EXTRA sorry for it to be about cacw and aou, sorry, i just am thinking again that if marvel had. in aou. committed to letting steve rogers see that captain america graffiti calling him a fascist with his own two eyes i would have forgiven many of their subsequent deeds and crimes

#like hey. hey shh. cacw but they engage with the politics of it and also have in a previous movie made him look at that graffiti. chefs kiss #WHAT IF THEY LET HIM MAKE A SPEECH. CACW BUT IF THEY LET STEVE TALK. UTOPIAN #i know asking that of mcu is like asking a toddler to build you a house but its just SO INTERESTING. TO ME #THAT IT WAS MADE AND FILMED AND THEN SCRAPPED #that they had steve's reaction be to just remove the helmet identifying him with that symbol and Continuing On #it's just interesting is all i am saying it's Interesting #note: i am obviously not saying steve's a fascist i just think it would be INTERESTING for Little Guy Of WW2 Fame to see it with his eyes #maybe i'm just still mad that my captain america press conference was stolen and turned into a peggy funeral idk. sigh #i'm done i'm done i promise. i don't have fatws open in another tab letting it microwave my brain. dont worry #kayvswords #mcu desperately trying to tell stories without telling an actual story is so genuinely fascinating to me #they want the themes and aesthetics without the substance but like. it's a story. it'll say something whether you want it to or not #idk idk idk. fatws is also i think peak mcu politics it's very funny. fascinating company. theyre so bad at movie #WHY DID CACW HAPPEN LIKE THAT. WHO THOUGHT IT WAS SMART. christ god #i feel like i should tag this as something so i don't get jumped but idk if that's still the vibe here kfdjglkjdfh

[danny-chase]

Dick "watch this" Grayson

Teen Titans (1966) #10

#this is genuinely very unnecessary too he's just going to go hit a guy he could have rode one #Dick: wait i can use my circus training here #Donna: but like do you need to? #Dick: ...well... no... #Dick: but it's more fun this way #*proceeds to pull a stunt that could kill him if he so much as sneezes at the wrong time* #I'm now thinking about the time he ziplined while on a motorcycle sjdjdjsnsk #a compilation of stupid shit Dick's done on motorcycles would be so funny shshshdj #the vibe change from *I'm doing my best* Dick Grayson to standing on two motorcycles Dick Grayson is top tier #dick grayson #robin #teen titans #id in alt

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds #trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious #also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious #worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic) #(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely #manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that #c) something else(??) ) #roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it. #best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child #higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research #but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE #not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not #nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but #then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet #new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice #also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny. #they complement each other well and are both quick & clever #esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t #em is also good) but like #please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater? #like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny #beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral. #god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media #bc the ideas i have are so funny. #also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.

[johnslittlespoon]

it's almost time. when? idk, when i stop being a coward LOL

#would be kinda funny if i waited to post it on 4/20 like haha happy bday curt *lights blunt* #genuinely can't bring myself to hit post tho been staring at it all day #it's so much scarier than posting a oneshot i want to do this right and i want to do the way i see them in my head justice #posting my writing never gets less nervewracking for me #like oh hello strangers and friends i just poured my heart out onto a page and now i'm offering it up with shaking hands #and i'm trying very hard to be normal about it because it's not that deep but also i care very much SJDGJK #but i think i'll post it before tonight i just feel NAUSEOUS #still need to write an end note anyway #i'm fr just yapping to stall atp LMAO #dog coded bucky fic #johnslittlespoon yaps #i'm also like what if it doesn't live up to expectations. LIKE YEAH WHAT IF. the world goes on. but i will be so hard on myself bruh

[recklessmoss]

i'm so unironically baffled at the amount of downgrades this site pushes out on a nearly weekly basis at this point. Near half if not all of them are almost completely useless and give absolutely zero benefit to user experience, if anything @staff is quite literally distancing their userbase.... do you think i want another twitter? Like what purpose or benefit does taking away dash avatars has... what's the benefit of taking away basic accessibility features.. fucking genuinely. I hate it here. I don't know how many more feedback letters I have to send in order for all this shit to stop... i'm so tired.

#i'm so tired. like genuinely. #i'm so very tired how as an artist who also relies partially on a FUNCTIONAL social media is being forced into a fucking corner like this #where the site is broken in every sense imaginable. and you have no intention to fix it. other than making it worse. #I've seen 12 year olds with java codes do a better job than this site #and u think i'm rambling nonsense bc i'm angry and yeah. i kinda am but then again i'm fuckign exhausted. and every day I have less desire #to spend even more than a second on this site #sorry! #anyways tldr. i hate it here. #please for the love of god stop giving this site money. in anyway. #i get u want the funny checkmarks but this staff doesnt deserve your pennies in any shape.

[bumblingbabooshka]

One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!

#I love Neelix so much and I think he and Tuvok are very funny together - irritating4irritating #People say 'Neelix is so pushy with Tuvok!' and you know what? I think Tuvok can handle it. I think maybe he does need to be pushed - #down a flight of stairs. (he's my favorite character and he's so annoying...TUVOK!!!!!) #Tuvok: -kicking and screaming- I don't want to drink the juice!!! It's poison!!! You're trying to poison me!!!!!!!!! #Neelix: Can you please drink the juice. The fresh squeezed juice I made for you Mr. Vulcan??? Can you please??? #Tuvok: Fine but if I die it's your fault. If I die from the poison you're FORCING me to drink it's on y- Oh this is delicious actually. #and don't tell me 'Neelix didn't make it SPECIFICALLY for Tuvok' bc I know he didn't but he says #'I'll start squeezing that second glass!' after Tuvok finishes his sip so he IS freshly squeezing it #Neelix: -makes Tuvok fresh squeezed juice- #Tuvok: Are you trying to poison me??? #Neelix: -talks to Tuvok while making his eggs- #Tuvok: Can you be quiet??? #<- TUVOK!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU EHHEHEHEH <3 #Tuvok is the most annoying guy ever bc he doesn't care about what people think and is a snob with a lowkey superiority complex #vs Neelix is perceived as annoying (post his relationship with Kes) bc he cares a lot about being useful and helping the crew and sometimes #is too pushy because of that but listen...I think Neelix is sweet and genuinely trying his best - after the Kes plotline with him ends I #really don't find him objectionable. Just chatty & a bit overbearing maybe Meanwhile Tuvok !!! #Meanwhile Tuvok!!!!!!!!! HHEHEHHE #st voyager #star trek voyager #I think they should have done more with Neelix thinking the crew of Voyager were spoiled - specifically how Tuvok acts Like That sometimes #little lord Tuvok. oH SORRY...for DEIGNING to speak while preparing your eggs your HIGHNESS!! #I think people do a disservice to Tuvok by not talking more about how he's kind of a hardass and a snob v_v also a disservice to Janeway #indirectly bc her bestie is kind of a hardass and a snob and what does that say about her?? #I also wish Neelix kept up a bit of that 'these people are crazy and also so soft oh my god shut up about the food being bad - we're trying #to SURVIVE!!! Eat the Leola Root!!' from the earlier seasons...I like when he shows he has a bit of bite #It's just funny and interesting that Janeway isn't friends with Tuvok bc he's 'not like other Vulcans' - she's friends with the most #Vulcany Vulcan ever and I love that for them. #CRIMINAL that we don't ever get any in-depth insight into their friendship #Tuvok

[allthecastlesonclouds]

tell me about drawtectives. what is this little show.

oooooh my god oh my god. they are my guys. so.

drawtectives itself is a youtube series created by julia lepetit on Drawfee. it's an rpg mystery show– s1 is a murder mystery, s2 is just a mystery– that doubles as an art challenges show. she draws all of the backgrounds and npcs and most of the assets (the 'cutscenes', you could call them) and then the team gets together, knowing absolutely nothing besides what julia's asked them to prepare, and does some funky improv to create a very funky storyline.

there are 3 players and one dm; the pcs are rosé, york, and grendan/grenda/grandma/gma, and the Big NPCs are Jancy True (s1/s2) and Eugene Finch (s2) and they're, in their own words, a found family, so. beloved. their backup plan if all their jobs fail is to move out east and open a bookstore. jancy and eugene have fully accepted their titles as mom/ancestral ghost and son despite meeting each other likely once before the drawtectives dragged them together. overall though if i had to summarize, it's a bunch of friends getting together, making a bunch of puns, appreciating julia's art, and laughing together. the vibes are 10/10 so loving. in writing the transcripts i've written (Karina laughs) (Nathan laughs) (All laugh) So Many Times it's just fun.

so there's three pcs. first one we meet is gyorik 'york' rogdul, who's a half-orc come to the city to learn about his mother's culture. he is the character we have by far the most lore for– if I compiled all the lore I had about the Northern Tribes and Wild Trains, I think the document would be multiple pages. he's also illiterate, which was an interesting decision for the english major of the group to make (in other words, York Will Not Be Illiterate For Season Three bc Y'all Cannot Read) and morally gray if you think about it too hard (he killed his own brother) but yknow he's hot so it's okay. they're all hot any crimes committed are okay. he's also aroace (confirmed by the player, which is!! vibes!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME @axolotllee!)

rosé is the Human Rogue and the youngest of the party; her main trait in s1 was Millennial and she Dealt with that. she, in contrast with York, has so little lore we are scraping the barrel. she was a thief, then left everything about that life behind and changed her name to rosé when she went to work for jancy. she lied on her resumé. she knows how to sew; she's sewn Pockets of Holding on most of her clothing. she bonded with a stray cat that lived outside her last apartment. she's three credits short of graduating college. she's, in addition to being a drawtective, jancy's intern, and cried when jancy got her a cupcake. she won't tell her best friends when her birthday is or where she goes to school or what her last name is. that's all we know about her and i love her and she could probably kill someone as she has multiple knives on her person and does not use them. she's bright and funny and can be pretty dark but really does find the humor in it which is. wonderful.

so grendan highforge starts out as The Snobby Rich Boy which. already love the trope something Always Happens To Them if they're a pc. then through s1 they make an offhand comment about a character (faucon, whose name is pronounced 'falco') and how if her name was pronounced that way it'd be grenda. faucon asks how they feel about it. they are caught very off-guard by that and then ask to be called it for the next hour or so. then the next witness calls him gma, and then grandma, and then. yeah she realizes she's genderfluid. and he uses any pronouns and has a full beard and also wears a romper and loves dogs and the player is the Most Experienced TTRPG-er so through maybe using resources a bittt grandma is the most observant character of all of them. he's also a dog walker and a lightweight and does canonically have druidic magic though that was Not Touched On Much and showed up to their first day on the job slightly stoned (they did stop doing that though.) she carries around a box to make the height difference (york is 7'. grendan is 4'. rosé is 6'. you can see the formatting issue) slightly less difficult. she doesn't know how rhinos reproduce but has had a fascination with them since a police chief said one might've committed a crime. i think they could kill someone by talking too much but they don't actually have the strength or dex to do Jack Shit.

and jancy true is the head pi (a great many of the characters are puns and i love it so much) and is there to make sure things get done and clues don't get missed. she has a cochlear implant and uses a cane and solved s1 just by Reading The Paper and hearsay. she solved about half of s2 before Someone Stopped Her. she says hello children to the drawtectives and it is such a fond thing. eugene is. a guy who i love. julia started the show thinking he would be some mysterious character to join them and then made the wonderful improv decision– avoiding having to do npc-npc conversation– of saying 'yeah eugene is spinning a camera on its stand' and rosé just says so gleefully. 'guys. i think he's stupid.' and he became their son. his character is a lot of The Plot of s2 so i don't want to get into it too much but. jancy and eugene my beloved.

they're just. such a family. to quote nathan (grenda's Player) from the s2 talkback: "That's one of my favorite things about this show, is we came in with these vague ideas for characters, and just playing them with each other, they became friends and became better people as a result of knowing each other and solving mysteries. ... Like, we all kind of independently made our characters people that either were distant from their families or, you know, just had tenuous connections to other stuff, and so these are, like, the realest connections they have in their lives."

and then karina (rosé) about 10 seconds later: "Yeah, we love a found family where they bond over just being the worst."

god. them. they're chaotic and loud and feel very real to me. they have excitement and are pretty bad at social cues but they love each other and want to die together because they would hate too much to be separated. i could articulate this better but it's one in the morning and they mean a great deal to me.

#ren <3 #GOD THEY'RE MY GUYS #'my guys' really is the shittiest group of found family to exist. god. the bad kids the virals the crows and now the drawtectives. wow. #drawtectives #fuck it we're maintagging this #i'm realizing i probably should've written more about the premise of the show– s1 is a murder mystery; the murder of sorin justice. #his wife lotta justice hires jancy to solve the crime and jancy wanted to train proteges so here they are!! #s2 is. you wake up on a train with no memories. why are you here where is jancy DID YOU JUST SEE A MAN GET MURDERED WHAT'S HAPPENING #it's genuinely a really funny show and has Very Good Vibes and. i love it. the prompts are horror if you think about it which. i also enjoy #but the cast were all members of collegehumor up until jan 2020 so. they know comedy. #plus they're all very close so they know each others' boundaries #and i'm talking i guess #questionnn! #also. lmao it really does seem like grandma is my favorite #tbf she is. but rosé's paragraph should be longer i love her so much it's just. hard to describe. #thank you thank you for letting me talk about them i love them <3 <3

[mariocki]

Patrick Troughton guests as ruthless racketeer George, out to silence the man who can identify his brother as a murderer, in Dial 999: Key Witness (1.26, ABC, 1959)

#fave spotting #patrick troughton #dial 999 #doctor who #classic doctor who #two #abc #key witness #1959 #as with other Dial 999 posts‚ the episode number and year of transmission are more in the way of educated guesses #tho two separate sources identify this as ep 26 so that's good enough for me #yes it's been a while‚ i got very distracted and wandered away from Dial 999 but I'm mopping it up now #this was a very pleasant surprise‚ not least because Pat had already made two appearances in the series: a minor role as a heavy in 1.5 and #an uncredited appearance as a tramp in 1.16 (both can be found if you follow the fave spotting tag) so i wasn't really expecting him to #turn up again. but he does! and he finally gets a real meaty part! he's the villain of the week‚ a criminal of vague occupation (he has #something to do with gambling? race tracks maybe? idk it kind of gets glossed over) but when his kid brother kills a rival and is easily #apprehended‚ Pat decides it's time to silence the witness... cue a tense cat and mouse as Pat and goon tail their mark as the police tail #them. genuinely one of the most enjoyable episodes of this funny little series i think‚ and a lot of that is down to Pat giving it his #all as a dangerous gangster. he lounges around in a dressing gown‚ he slaps his bro around‚ he jeers at the cops and he #threatens his lawyer with a watery sack grave. he's gone full villain! and it's delightful!

[facetsofthecloset]

i'm sure it's been said but i feel like both Raxtus and Ronodin can be argued as "the only gay kid in the family and consequently shunned/rejected" and it's like. so weird bc Mull is so Mormon he'd probably rather eat his shorts than even acknowledge the possible existence of gays but

i mean. Raxtus literally has a fairy form. he's a fairy dragon.

Ronodin was just emo lol

and they both get so thoroughly rejected and sidelined by their families their whole lives and it turns Raxtus into an awkward but basically decent guy who runs back to the approval of his family once he's performed masculinity/violence enough to be accepted, only to then realize that he's basically just being used and still not fully trusted/accepted and having to betray them to save his real friends

(who sadly are probably actually homophobic but that's ok bc they're not dragon-phobic so that works out for him)

while Ronodin's like "fuck it. chaos and murder then!" and can you really blame him? he spent his entire life trying to conform to the "right" (in this case, Light) way of life, started spending time with the outgroup and learned to question things, then was told he was "too corrupt" to remain in his home

like. the symbolism is right there.

it's so funny, because sure Raxtus isn't a bad guy, but Ronodin definitely is and he pretty much gets sent to a type of hell at the end of Dragonwatch

and while Raxtus gets kind of a happy ending, like, him becoming an effective killer in a war and being accepted by his dad for being Good At Murder in the first Fablehaven series is presented as a happy ending. if Celebrant didn't wind up being the main villain for Dragonwatch, that probably would've been the end of it! gay kid learns how to soldier and is finally accepted by his homophobic family bc he's finally aggressive enough for them to love him

(i mean i have MANY issues with Celebrant being the main villain later and the reasons he's framed as bad but like. that's a separate rant lol)

the queer reading is right there. but also it's very bad and you can tell completely unintentional. or at the very least highly repressed. idk man i don't look into Mull as a personal individual bc i doubt i'll like what i see and i don't care that much but Dragonwatch was SO MUCH MORE MORMON than Fablehaven already was and it's so weird, seeing the fingerprints of it all over.

i feel like he either has a new editor or he's been doing this for long enough and sold enough books that he has the clout to veto changes made by editors or SOMETHING, bc i feel like? he's gotten worse?? and more unfiltered?? that or something happened and he's like. even more religious than before or something idk

like fablehaven was just kinda generic/bland fantasy with some fun ideas for magic items/powers/one sentence character premises, with just a hint of sus Mormon ideology, and then Dragonwatch just went. Full Mormon.

but then there's somehow even more weirdly queer shit. like. he's repressing so hard he's approaching queer from the other side??

idk man i wish this deeply mediocre man's writing wasn't a formative piece of middle school reading, leading to me still giving more of a shit than i really should over questionable children's literature now

#i mean it seems like his wife may or may not have divorced him between the series's so maybe that had something to do with it #i didn't look too deeply into it i just kinda guessed from his about the author blurbs wording changes #also wtf was up with the weird borderline piss/humiliation kink thing in the latest candy shop war book? #like. that was. that was not funny at all if it was meant to be comedic. like the execution was SO BOTCHED if so #and if it wasn't??? it was just????? UNCOMFY??? #sorry i'm tired and kind of delirious and for whatever reason this man's writing's squandered potential still haunts me #like genuinely if i ever publish original fiction there's a good chance it'll be fanfic of this with the serial numbers filed off #like 'MINE I'LL DO IT /RIGHT/ OK GIMME' #fablehaven #dragonwatch #i know ronodin is overrated and like. yeah he's not really a sexyman to me but he IS still compelling as a character #i think he's funny i wanna be his therapist #like stereotypical him lying down on a chaise longue thing #but also i reserve the right to make fun of him so like. not a very ethical therapist lol #get it all out queer boy let's get you to a gay club and find some fairies who WILL accept you #just cool it with the murder and the manipulation a bit y'know

[rotisseries]

inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth

#“rori all of these are your faves how can there be a bad answer” well I still have an internal ranking on some of these #and if all of you pick an option that I think pales in comparison to the others. well. hm #I know what's gonna sweep though because two of these are niche as hell and 4 maybe 5 of these are things you people don't follow me for #fun fact I actually had to scrape my brain to make sure I couldn't come up with any more #I am unintentionally very picky on what is a favorite apparentlyyyy #I also just don't watch/read enough stuff these days so there's that #AND I NEED LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO KNOW THEY'RE STICKING AROUND #so like. I have some options but I don't KNOWWW if they're sticking yet #but this feels like such a small poll lmao #also no sapphics on here this is actually cause I hate women- #NO. JOKING. zelink is here. I almost put gideon and harrow but I'm in a perpetual state of not having finished tlt #and I couldn't put nebetta and darya I was drawing the line at 2 tbos ships. well. actually. changed my mind #not editing these tags actually you guys can see my thought process #WAIT AND SAYMARI. FUCK. I LITERALLY MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THEM I LOVE THEMMM #ok. is 4 tbos ships too many. hmm #I said 2 of these are niche now four of these are niche it's really the “which tbos pairing is your fave” poll #THIS POLL IS SO FUNNY IT'S SO SELF INDULGENT I HAVE TO TAKE OUT AT LEAST ONE TBOS SHIP #I should add one more general one... #cause I do actually want genuine and varied answers I gotta give y'all options so they don't all pool at the first two #I also almost put ellie and abby on here.. that would've been so funny four popular 1 rarepair 3 super niche ships #ellie and abby are soooo interesting to me though so of course the thought of them having something horrible going on together compels me #and they are one of my 3 favorited ao3 tags... they deserve a place... #ok well while I debate on that I'm putting akutagawa and atsushi on here I admittedly have only had like two months of exposure to them #but it is enough I can tell they are so crazy to me #the way my tags are just me overthinking everything on what is supposed to be a fun and silly poll... no one does it like me I'm afraid

[matbaynton]

"we need more complex female characters" y'all couldn't even handle leah rilke from the wilds

#very funny that the character i can sympathize and relate most to is also the one who get's the most hate 🤡 #like i GET it she's not the easiest character to love most of the time #but y'all need to learn what mental illness is i am begging you #(also she is a TEENAGER) #i couldn't stand her at first either but once i realized why that was #(seeing the things i struggle with and hate most about myself being exhibited by her) #i was like ....... oh🧍 #people genuinely seem to think she goes out of her way or has any control over the way she thinks and some of the things she does #when that's so CLEARLY not true #anyway #obviously i'm taking this personally lmao #sorry if the original text post has been said before i only started watching a couple weeks ago #* #the wilds #leah rilke #ireland yaps

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

#look ok #i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc #and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!! #but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems #like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while #just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong) #and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well #ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L) #which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao #we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with #qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize #turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best? #anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants #but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl) #xl isn't off the hook either ok #people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind #but he's also very.... absent #plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk? #this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao #also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting #meme #tgcf #mxtx meme #tgcf meme #xie lian #hua cheng #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan

[lesbianlotties]

ok so in the lottie/nat scene where theyre saying nice things about each other, why did nat say she liked lottie's pilgrim hat? i've been so confused since i watched it lol 😭

you see, it was probably due to the fact that nat really liked lottie's pilgrim hat

#i'm not gaslighting you this genuinely happened #im kidding i hope i'm being funny 😭 #it's actually because nat took lsd minutes before this happened. she was Very high the entire time #or at least i think that was the point? i hope i'm not wrong ghjdfhgjf #also thank you because you got me to overanalyze this scene again and i'm Seeing things #answered #anon #yellowjackets #yj #lottienat #natalie scatorccio #lottie matthews

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

have you done a falia yet, for your photos?

save yourself cringefail girlloser save yourself

(Sources: "The final straw" by Nival_Vixen, "Beast Meridian" by Vanessa Angélica Villarreal, Louise Bourgeois' "The Hour Is Devoted to Revenge", "It's different for girls" by Of Montreal, "The Penitent Saint Mary Magdalene")

#out of all the asoiaf characters she is the only one I can and want to take into modern aus. she would be a Tumblr girl who hangs out at the #girl manipulator community and would listen to lana del rey. #sorry. #also I think she would be into Robert Eggers movies and would be one of those people who thought the human version of the goat was hot #this isn't even fanon look at her and euron. this is a very literal transformation. he gave her pretty dresses. #amiga date cuenta he is the devil. #she is cinderella she is the penitent thief she is malinche she is marya morevna #genuinely thankful for this ask this one was very funny to make. #anonymous #asoiaf #falia flowers #I'm the only one who goes to that tag so I feel safe. #speaking