#i find the thought of James being at award shows and him looking like this funny bc you know he

[iwasneverth3re]

POV: you're watching the MAMA awards and the camera pans over to DG

#if he looked at me like that #and told me to fuck off i would've FOLDED #AND ****** HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE #i find the thought of James being at award shows and him looking like this funny bc you know he #would've gone from this '😐' to '🥰' LIKE I KNOW THIS MFER WOULD BE BORED OUT OF HIS MIND BUT HES TRYNA AVOID ANY SCANDALS #u know someone would be quick to make a 'DG being a fake ass for 10 minutes straight - a compliation' #lookism #lookism dg #diego kang #james lee #lookism james #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism fanart #lookism x reader #art #artists on tumblr #rkgk #my art #Anime #drawing #외모지상주의 #webtoon #manhwa

[berryfeilds]

𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲.

Summary- Sirius meets you at one of Lily and James' party's and thinks you're just absolutely incredible.

Warnings- Non I believe? Bad writing perhaps LMFAO and tooth-rooting fluff, oh and no use of Y/N

W/C- 3.7k

A/N: hihi!! this is legit my first ever fanfic and im kinda nervous lmao, please please be nice and if you have any constructive criticism, i am all ears! thank you!!

New edit: oh girl i don't know i feel abt this being my first fic-

Sirius recounts the first time he met you well, -saw you- for better judgment. It was a little party, a couple weeks ago; just a gathering with some old friends and classmates, hosted by James and Lily at their house for a small reunion. Wine and finger food being consumed, laughter and stories being shared around the living room, just all around a good time. 

Sirius was catching up with Frank and Alice when you walked through the door with Mary. And -wow- were you pretty. You were wearing a light green number that ended right above your knees and the sleeves stopped on your elbows giving him a view of the numerous bracelets on your lovely wrist. Your hair sat perfect and your shoulders looked toothsome. You had an easy smile while conversing with Lily and Mary and handed over a box in which he guessed held some sweets inside. You were pretty and thoughtful? Oh did the universe have a beautiful way of rewarding him.

“Seems like birdie riled up the dog,” Alice teased. Sirius, rather solemnly, shifts his attention from you. “What? No, pshh, don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Sirius waves his hand dismissively, before he sneakily sneaks another glance at you once you enter the living room.

 “I’ve never seen her before, did she go to school with us?” Frank inquires before taking a sip of one of Marlene’s famous sugary cocktails. “No, she studied abroad, can’t pinpoint where though, maybe, Sirius will find out for us,” Alice mischievously smirks up at Sirius.

Said man-dog looks up to where you are now conversing with Remus and Lily, still looking ravishing and smooth. “You know what, maybe I will.” He finalizes before raising his glass to the couple in front him, excusing himself to make way to you. “Go fetch, Paddy!” Alice laughs. Sirius flips her off quickly without turning around.

“Wow! You’ve really been all around the world and more, you’ve gotta take me with you one day,” Lily exclaims while holding your hands excitedly. You smile warmly clutching her back airily, “Hardly around the whole world but, I’ll definitely take you to the places worthwhile your time,”

“Excuse my sudden intrusion, but I don’t think we've met yet,” Sirius sneaks in the conversation; sly as a fox with eyes looking at only you. “Oh I don’t think we have, I apologize I still have to make my rounds, Remus and Lily have been such great company I simply just had to stay and talk,” You say with an easy smile -oh wow you were pretty, did he already say you were pretty?-  “Oh, no,” Remus says your name, “flatters too much, she’s been telling us about her exciting life, we’re just the audience,” Remus says with a simple smile.

That should have been a big deal breaker -I mean it is- that the Remus Lupin, is enjoying a conversation with a complete stranger about their life!

“Well, hopefully, I can hear about this exhilarating life myself,” Sirius says with an award-winning smile, hoping he wasn’t making an absolute dog of himself, -no pun intended- “Hopefully you will after you introduce yourself,” You reply with an equally dazzling smile and teasing eyes. Sirius thinks his skin is tingling and he’s excited and nervous and he hasn’t replied to you yet, “O-oh, yeah sorry, I’m Sirius,” You nod, now grinning with your pearly whites barely showing beneath your glossy lips. “Oh I didn’t ask what you were feeling, I asked for your name,” He watches your eyebrows raise up expectantly, eyes holding a little mirth in them, while Lily giggles and Remus lets out an amused huff. Oh my God, you are adorable. He observes you dreamily, speechless. “Sorry bad joke, nice to meet you, Sirius,” You chuckle effortlessly. “No, no, very clever, you should try stand-up comedy,” He gives a boyish grin. You offer your name gracefully and he humbly accepts it. He tries it out on his tongue, repeating it to himself. Remus and Lily watch this scene over with a knowing smirk.

 “Well, I think I smell James burning something in the kitchen, Rem, mind helping me drag his body out while we can?” Lily pipes up. “Not at all, excuse us.” Remus replies with a teasing grin, holding out his arm for Lily to take while they walk away.

Once Remus and Lily leave the conversation, you reposition your eyes back to the handsome man in front of you to be met with his eyes already on you. “How about we sit down so I can hear about this novel-worthy life of yours?”

You and Sirius stuck by each other for the whole party: meeting the rest of the guests together, feeding him the different delicious food Lily made, sitting and getting to know about where you studied and his time at Hogwarts. And Sirius has come to the conclusion that you are incredible. You’re incredible and educated, and sweet, and well-versed with books and the world, and let’s not talk about your acceptable music taste, and you are incredible and it's incredibly attractive to Sirius.

By the end of the night he was partially jumping out of his seat to ask you out. You said your goodbyes to Lily and James and thanked them (mostly Lily) for the food and the night. James and Sirius have a non verbal conversation while you and Lily make plans to have a day with the rest of the girls. 

You’re gonna ask her out aren't you? James raises his eyebrows while pursing his lips.

Uh duh, are you seeing what I’m seeing! Sirius rolls his head while widening his eyes.

James was in the middle of replying to Sirius with a dramatic head nod like the stag he is when they both caught on that your conversation was coming to an end.

“Ah, thank you again Lily! And, I’ll be sure to call you to let you know when I’m free,” You say happily, a little alcohol in your system that loosened you up; making you warm. “Yes, definitely! I’ll see you later, drive safe you two!” Lily says matching your enthusiasm waving you both goodbye while you walk down to your cars. “Thank you! Bye!” You wave the couple with matched gusto.

As you both walked down to the cars lining up the driveway you realized that Mary left earlier to drop off Marlene and Peter which ultimately means you don't have a ride. You subconsciously groan at yourself. Ugh! He’s totally gonna think I’m desperate! You whined inwardly.  

“Hey, um, you can totally say no, and I can call a cab, but Mary left me stranded and I don’t have a ride, and this is the part where you can say no, and I can call a taxi-” Sirius looks at you fondly as you ramble. I am so asking you out. He dreams to himself. 

“Hey, hey, first of all, you are not taking a taxi at this time of night,” He gently places his hands on your frantic arms. “Second of all, who did you meet tonight? Cause I personally thought you met a handsome gentleman, y’know? You might have met him; dark-haired, tatted, amazing hair, and an exceptional wizard,” He flips his hair dramatically making you giggle, softly calming you down after your rant. “But apparently you met some arse who probably smells like car oil and beer, who would probably leave you at the pub,” He masks a faux concern, his right hand coming up to tuck a fly-away hair after a gust of wind passes by. You grin at him gently, peering at him through your lashes. Merlin, this man is gorgeous.

“Hmm, I believe I met the arse if my memory doesn’t fail me,” A glint of mischievousness flashes on your face while you bite away at an upcoming smile. Sirius scoffs offendedly as he grasps the left side of his chest where his heart is located. “Ah! You wound me, angel! And here I thought you were my wish come true,” He squints his eyes as his head shoots back. You let out a hearty laugh at his little show, enjoying the play a little too much.

You start to walk away from the improvised actor, as his arms swing back to his side, lazily. “Did anyone tell you how animated you are?” You look back at him over your shoulder in a cat-like manner. “Can’t recall if anyone did, pretty girl,” He jogs up to your side again, placing a hand on your lower back as he guides you to the passenger side of his car, opening the door for you. 

You slide into the cold, leather seats while Sirius practically slides over the hood to get into the driver's side. He opens the door feverishly and closes it with the same amount of. “Are you always this excited to drive someone home?” You ask as he starts up the car. “Just eager to get you home safe…and maybe be invited into said safe-haven for a cup of tea, or a good time,” He turns to you and gives you a flirty wink, as he sets his arm at the backside of your chair to shift his eyes at the back of the car to reverse out the driveway. You scoff, while teasing a look at his face and neck and how delicious he looks working a car. “My, aren't you frank,” You tell him your address as he drives out the neighborhood. You smile at the road as he expertly drives with his left hand on the wheel, while the right hangs by; inching to hold yours. 

“Good to know you appreciate my very endearing qualities,” He smirks, not taking his eyes off the road. The big grin on your lips stays glued on. Your eyes locate the hand that temptingly rests on the console, waiting to be filled with your hand that happens to be empty. You slowly slither your own fist towards his and you opt to link pinkys. Sirius’ little smirk widens into a full blown smile as he feels the little contact initiated by you. 

You soon realize when you and Sirius start talking that he’s such an uncomplicated character. He’s easy, charming, positive, a little bit of a stud but, you can get over that. For the next ten minutes, you engage in a relaxed conversation about your life and passions. The car starts wheeling into your little neighborhood when the talking dies down. “Right here, the little cream colored house,” You use your pointer-finger to show direction to your abode. Sirius turns the wheel with an open palm to your very small driveway. He turns the ignition off and rotates his whole body to peer at you, softly. 

“So…” He starts with a cheeky look. You chuckle and steer your eyes towards his dark brown iris’. You speak up with a dope grin. “So..thanks for driving me, and the stimulating argument about Bowie and Elton…I really appreciate,” You nod and look away from his handsome face. “Anytime, pretty,” He speaks gingerly. Now’s the time you git!

You opened your mouth to say goodbye until he interrupted. “Um, hey, I had an amazing time talking to you tonight, you’re incredibly incredible-” You giggle coyly, “Incredibly incredible?” He looks at you entranced. “I’m getting there, birdy,” He looks at you with a smug face, “As, I was saying before you started chirping,” He pinches your cheek, “I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner, at my place, I make a mean carbonara?” He says bashfully, sitting with hopeful energy; if he was in his animagus form his tail would be whipping around.

You both sat there looking at each other. Sirius expectantly and you blazing; flustered. “Yeah..yeah, I’d love to,” Biting away at an enormous grin, eyes everywhere but his. “Great, I’ll call you so we can arrange our date,” He replies buzzing with a cheshire grin. The skittish atmosphere was suffocating and endearing at the same time. “That we will do,” You open the passenger side and get out. You bend down and look at him one last time brushing your hair behind your ear sheepishly, “Thank you for tonight really, and I’m excited for this famous carbonara,” Sirius bites his lip looking at you, “No problem and you will not regret it, it’s one of a kind,” You smile at him thoughtfully, “Goodnight Sirius.” “Goodnight pretty.” 

Sirius drives out of your driveway after he made sure you safely got into your house. He drives away blasting Bowie, already planning to call James about scoring his date with you. A dizzying smile the whole drive back to his flat.

Inviting you to his apartment for dinner was the best idea he’s ever had, Sirius thinks.

You’re sat perched up gorgeously on his kitchen counter while he grinds black pepper to the spaghetti in the pan. Jazz music in the background, playing softly while the whole apartment smells of good food and new relationships.  It’s like you belong in any environment and you make it your own; you fit perfectly in any space he lets you into, it's breathtaking, you’re breathtaking. 

“So, where’d you learn how to cook?” You inquire before taking a sip of your wine, crossing your legs. Sirius mixes up the sauce into the spaghetti when he replies. “My family has ties in France so..I take advantage of their money and head out for a couple of weeks. I’ve become quite acquainted with the cuisine, the language, the city of love,” He gives you a wink. You laugh at his witty behavior before retorting. “Oh wow, he’s bilingual, a cook, and a philanderer? My, what a catch you are!” You tease with a smirk. “Oh shush, you,”

 He puckers up his lip subconsciously asking for a sip of wine and you’d be insane not to oblige. You hop off the counter and pick up his glass, striding to where he was stirring the food. You tilt the dainty glass to his inviting lips. He gulps down carefully trying not to spill on his very expensive black turtleneck. You giggle at his antics, “Alright French casanova, I’m pulling away,” You stick to your word to his displeasure; he liked you being so close. 

“Wow, pretty girls are mean,” He pouts dramatically. “Well get used to it mister, ten step hair care routine,” You scrunch your nose, while walking away to cut up the fresh baguette. “Okay, miss universe, the cutting board is in the cabinet under you and the serrated knife is right beside me,” You bend down and grab the handle of the wooden cutting board before you hear a wolf whistle. You whip up before giving him a joking glare. “Hey, there's a deliciously incredible girl in my kitchen helping me cook some delicious food, don't blame me!” He raises his hands up guiltily. You roll your eyes before walking towards him to grab the knife.

“Do pray tell who this delicious, incredible girl is,” You place a hand on his shoulder looking at him slyly. “Hm, I would tell but then I’d have to kill you,” He looks at you with a foxy stare. “Well, people have mentioned that I’m one for risks,” You take hold of the knife and olive oil, steering your eyes away from his dark eyes. “Ever heard that curiosity killed the cat, birdy? ” He draws closer to your face, “Good that I’m a bird then huh,” You taunt, peering at his pink lips. “Aren’t you a minx?” He smirks, “Well thank you, thank you very much.” You deepen your voice to imitate Presley and perk up your shoulder while making your back to the waiting bread. He chuckles and cuts his line of sight to the food in front of him.

Hot food is excellently plated, bread is cut, and wine refilled. The ambience is toasty and orange, illuminated by two small lamps and a couple dozen candles. You were both eating and drinking and you’re enjoying his company and his little quips and stories about his years with The Marauders: the pranks, the curriculum, some sport called quidditch. And you tell him about your life, traveling around and learning about the magic in different countries and how they use it differently and the schools you studied at.

“All that traveling must have been hard?” Sirius asks. “Well, my family has never been one to be anchored to one place –too suffocating I guess– so I’ve never really imagined my life to be a still, unmoving picture y’know?” You answer before shoving a fork tight with saucy pasta in your mouth. “Yeah I understand, I actually share similar feelings,” He sips his wine and you finish chewing.

“Really? How so?” “Heard of the Black family, darling?” “Ah makes sense,"

He shifts in his seat before continuing, “My parents had a special way of making your entire existence feel like it was a non-stop debutante ball,” You laugh while holding another fork of food to your lips. “Foods good?” He asks while looking at your puckered, sassy, mouth. “Hm! Yeah, it’s amazing and –did you add lemon?” Curious eyes find his, “Yeah, just a little secret ingredient.”

Easy gossip came after that for the next hour -or two- you both couldn’t really care. 

The needle hit ten and both of you were still deep in conversation. Plates pushed aside, bottle half-full, –so are your stomachs– and hearts happy. And Sirius is comfortable, his expectations of this little date exceeded by a mile, and you were still as lovely and incredible as the last time; being lit up by the moon, eyes shining with drowsiness, ready to go to bed. But this time you were kindled by the warm flavor of the fire and adorned a tranquil smile, eyes reflecting the flame he probably shared. You’re happy and you wear it so well, he’s thinking about the next time he experiences this luck and how to extend his time with you because you’re looking at his clock and he needs to act quick.

“Oh it’s getting late, I should probably get going,” You say tight-lipped, picking up your finished plate and standing up. “Are you sure?It’s late?” He swiftly gets up and takes your plate, disregarding your protests as he heads to the kitchen, poking fun at your complaint; sticking out his tongue about the help you didn't give. “Yeah I better, I’ve overstayed my welcome; don’t want you getting bored of me,” You lean on the doorframe to the kitchen, crossing your arms while watching him place the plates in the sink. His biceps contracting beneath the wool of his black sleeve, his hair up in a bun giving you a peek at the tattoo on his neck. He turns fully towards you as he walks to your figure. 

“I could never! You could crawl into my skin and I wouldn’t even utter an objection,” He replies, uncrossing your arms to hold your soft hands, “Oh yuck, that’s just a scene from Alien,” You say with faux disgust, “Sounds like a date idea, doesn’t it?” He gives you a cheeky smile, “What? Crawling into your skin or Alien? Cause I’d rather not spend a nice Sunday suffocating in you or traveling in outer space,” You raise a brow as you poke fun at the man in front of you, “Funny girl aren’t you?” He narrows his eyes at your giggling form, as you start swinging your guys’ arms, “Of course! That's why I have ladies and gentlemen lining up to watch me,” you jut your chin out in fun, “Well I’d push them all out the way with my spaceship just so I can steal you away from all those possible horrible bachelors,” He drags you out to the living room and you notice just in time before he smothers you with his smooth-talk.

“Sly aren't you? Distracting me from leaving,” You plant your heels to stop the trek to the living room, “Dammit, wasn’t as careful as I thought,” He huffs in annoyance, “Well you are a dog, not a fox hun,” You say walking to the foyer.

“Hun?” He slips his large hands to your waist while you grab your coat. He gathers the fabric away to slip it on you himself. “I like hun.” You twirl around to see a little smirk, his hands locating your waist again, “Hmm good, cause I think we need to change birdy,” You say.

“What! Birdy totally fits!” He counters while you let out a giggle, “It totally doesn't-” “Oh yes it does, you chirp, you fly around the world, you’re smart and incredible,” He counts the reasons on his fingers when you interrupt, “I believe you broke a world record calling me incredible,” He looks away from his fingers and places his hands on your waist again but pulls you against him this time, sending electrifying shots throughout your body and making you warm.

“Well it’s true, You are incredible,” He stares at your face, memorizing it to memory, “I think it’s fair I also let you know, I think you’re incredible too,” You peer up at him, “Yeah?” He purrs, “Yeah,” You reply softly, “How incredible would you say?” He asks smugly. You scoff at his attention-seeking before pulling away, “Alright rockstar I'm gonna head out,” You pat his chest and walk towards the door. He opens it gloomily, wearing a little pout and giving you his best puppy dog eyes.

“Do you really have to go?” He practically hangs off the door, “Yes, lovely, I have work tomorrow,” You place a gentle hand on his cheek, “I’ll walk you to your car,” He elevates himself before you stop him, “My legs work fine Sirius, I can walk down myself,” You giggle. God does he want you to stay and keep making that wonderful noise. “Call me when you get back safe?” He sulks, “Deal,” You smile at him, “Thanks for tonight, I enjoyed myself and you of course,” He stares at you through his lashes, “Hm no, I should thank you for coming, you brought color into the apartment, my life was getting dull,” He cheeks at you as you slap him gently on the arm.

You look at him deep in thought before you lean up and give him a kiss right on the side of his lips. He closes his eyes and he starts to feel limp at the feel of your soft, plush lips. You pull away and laugh at his drunk-happy grin.

“Bye hun,” You start pulling away down the hallway, “Bye incredible girl.” He waves dumbly as he watches you walk down the stairs away from his prying eyes. Godric help him; he's on fire.

© berryfeilds 2024

#i smell snow #sirius orion black #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black reader insert #the marauders #sirius x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #marauders era

[thirdtidemouse]

hilda characters in taskmaster, if this means anything to anyone:

for context, taskmaster is a show hosted by greg davies and pathetic assistant (/creator) alex horne. each series five comedians are made to do pointless and difficult tasks and are awarded points. it ends up being very very funny and very amicably argumentative.

for now, i'll do my classic 5 faves, but i would love to do more like edmund + some ocs!

hilda - starting with the kids, likely winner. i mean she is the main character, but she has those problem-solving skills and unbeatable enthusiastic spirit (which would definitely take a beating in this godawful game). i considered how different the competition might be given that they're kids? but lenny rush recently competed at 14 and he did awesome. hilda would definitely stand up for herself if she thought her score or the task was unfair but she is a good sport all round. most likely to miss the huge hidden-in-plain-sight clues. here to have fun but not fuck around. all the cheerful demeanor of rob beckett. likes to very gently make fun of alex. would never ever give up.

"what you can't take away from me is that i had an absolutely lovely day."

"people say my ADHD means i have shit problem solving skills. no sir!"

frida - nerdiness to rival josh widdicombe. knows the taskmaster's tricks and snoops all around for clues/hidden solutions. genuine competence and competitiveness of someone like sarah kendall, as indignant and argumentative as ed gamble. the one time she doesn't find the hidden alternative answer is when the main pathway is just 'do a really long maths sum to get the code for the lock' and she just gets on with it because she can. tries not to act overly proud of herself but after a particular stressful win she definitely gets up and cheers. argues with other contestants. gets very annoyed by alex and sometimes tells him to shut up.

"the only way i get out of this with any dignity is if i die right now."

[to a small plush vole] "you've got no chutzpah! your organizational skills are lacklustre, and your timekeeping is abysmal."

david - the awkward swagger of james acaster but absolutely 0 of his winning spirit. definitely a fan-favourite pathetic contestant. the show would wear his psyche down so much he would snap and end up begging for points in a total breakdown à la joe wilkinson. gets genuinely cocky after a rare win. gets very stressed out by alex and is very scared of greg. like mae martin, is initially very nonchalant about the tasks, but can become freaked out quickly. not very good at getting points. ashamed of his failures and overjoyed with his successes. most likely to be given a humiliating solo task.

"please don't take it away from me."

"well well well! looks like last in P.E., first in being a legend!"

johanna - total sweetheart, smiling all the time even when she fucks up and loses, much like charlotte ritchie. although she does fuck up and lose considerably less. less nervous though, here to have fun AND fuck around. a sally phillips approach to tasks, meaning chill as fuck, inconspicuously normal contestant, that consistently produces either the most terribly planned OR the most creatively out of pocket and deranged 'solutions', of which back in the studio she has zero explanation for and can only laugh uncontrollably as if it wasn't entirely her idea. this will inevitably win her a lot of points but she will fall short on something like charlotte ritchie's first prize task, in which she brings in all of her bedding, is told 'you can't just pick up stuff from around your house,' and is given last place. this also makes her place her head in her hands and giggle. her attitude carries charlotte's consistent likeness to a children's tv show host. zaniness and well-spoken ramblings of mike wozniak.

"when you have no other ideas, you stick to your bad idea."

"i was excited, there was fire, i'd been told to undermine a vole and i let him have it."

kaisa - will not embarrass herself for love nor money. could not give a fuck about any of you people and simultaneously is incredibly determined to win. would get increasingly distraught with the incompetence of any teammates in an ed gamble outburst. despite this, is a cooperative and hardworking teammate. would spend long periods of time in silent thought before carrying out her plan with no explanation along the way. like james acaster, does not ever say hello to alex, just because she 'doesn't have to.' generally does not like alex. to quote jamali maddix, 'he's a punk. i don't like him.' acts like a rebellious teen in the presence of greg. i have no solid outfit headcanons right now but she would wear what bridget christie wore:

"i've got three sensitivity levels! and i'll be honest, i'm on my top fucking one right now!"

"i knew we were against the clock, and i didn't give a fuck" 

and here is my final test of character - one of the most simple and most telling tasks, from the very first episode:

"eat as much of this watermelon as you can in one minute."

hilda - romesh ranganathan. upon entry of the lab, she wields the watermelon above her head and smashes it into the floor, devouring as much of it as she can. total tunnel vision. she throws up a little at the end. wins the task.

frida - josh widdicombe. enters prepared with a knife, manages to hurriedly cut and eat a portion of the watermelon, with not nearly as much vigor as hilda. is not giving up any dignity for this. 3rd place.

david - frank skinner. was not expecting a whole watermelon. manages to quickly get into the melon but falls short at his eating speed. is clearly trying not to choke. 4th place.

johanna - tim key. no utensils required. cracks it open right there on the table, eating as fast as possible, almost to the same wild and untamed degree as her daughter. is docked points because she sneaks a final bite of watermelon after the minute is up, just because she enjoys it. 2nd place.

kaisa - roisin conarty. was also not expecting a whole watermelon. total lack of urgency in comparison. leaves the room and spends 50 of her 60 seconds retrieving a knife, which she totally could have done beforehand, manages to crack open and eat a total of 9 grams of the watermelon before her time is immediately up. last place. couldnt give a fuck though

thanks for reading guys. if you have anything to add or ask then please do. peace and love

#taskmaster #hilda the series #hilda netflix #hilda #johanna #kaisa #frida #david #au #my au #taskmaster au

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Was my mother's birthday today. Spent the weekend making her a video as a gift, today went to her friend's house after work for a birthday celebration. Tomorrow after work have to go perform ten minutes of stand-up for the first time (have previously only done six). Have a document full of ideas for stuff to try beyond my six minutes, just need to sit down and map out a plan. Had several hours to do that tonight. But also have to go this weekend to the junior and senior national championships that are being hosted in my city this year, a few years ago that would have meant months of hard work on my part, I've now stepped back from the sport so much that I wasn't even part of the prep, I just need to show up. There's the competition, and then also my first ever teammate/training partner, whom I started training with in 2005, has recently retired from competition, which doesn't normally warrant a national event but it does for her because she had a massive career that included a gold medal at the Rio Olympics, so on Friday they're doing a ceremony before the finals at the championship to honour her, and then a social at the bar after that of course I'm looking forward to because she lives across the country now so I haven't seen her in ages but I love her and want to be there to celebrate her, but also that event will be full of coaches and athletes and refs that I used to see all the time and now barely see, due to my stepping back from the sport, about which I feel very conflicted and find very emotionally difficult, so I'll just go confront that all weekend, partly at a bar, while I'm still trying to avoid drinking though to be honest I've slipped a few times in the last few weeks.

And these are the few hours that I was supposed to spend mapping out my stand-up set plan, but every time I look at the page I become overwhelmed with 1) the idea that I've happened to come up with a few funny things but everything else I might think of would be embarrassingly terrible, and 2) I did stuff on the weekend and then more stuff today and then there will be stuff tomorrow and then stuff Friday and then stuff all weekend and it's too much stuff and I can't think about any of it.

Thought of how John Robins occasionally explains that "If I have to think about four things at once I'll curl up in a corner instead of thinking about any of them and then tomorrow there will be five things." Decided to throw on the radio show to distract myself. I'm into March 2018, when John Robins is the middle of his large tour during which he filmed Darkness of Robins. The first few months of 2018 on that radio show is just documenting John Robins having a breakdown; at first he said he'd do dry January then says no because touring is too stressful, comes in tired and a bit sick one week then full on tonsillitis and can hardly talk then keeps getting sick with other things and explaining that he's not sleeping then turns up to an episode an hour late because he forgot it was happening, reports that he's lost a stone from stress, then takes a couple weeks off and gets replaced by James Acaster, comes back the next week with fresh anecdotes about having a cry in a hotel room, entirely because there were too many things going on and had to do too many things in a row. I was looking forward to getting to the era of this show when I find out what happens when you win a Perrier Award, and now I know. You significantly expand your tour at the beginning of the following year due to increased demand, and then have a breakdown due to increased having to do things on multiple days in a row.

This is the saga I jump back into as my distraction, listen to him explain how touring is still wildly stressing him out, and I thought, this sounds familiar except that I've been paralyzed by the stress of a ten-minute open mic set in a way that feels relatable when he discusses the stress of like a 68-date tour. Then I thought, to be fair, John Robins is not doing quite a stressful job all day involving constant human interaction. It's the constant human interaction. I need to not have that. I also need to have a better idea for stuff to say in a pub tomorrow. And preferably a brain that can think about four things at a time without short circuiting.

Also I have scratches all over my hands because a kid had a meltdown at work. He stood up, screamed, cried, hit himself, fucked up my hands, and then I played him some Lynn Miles and he very slowly calmed down. I tried to change the song but he used his very small verbal repertoire to say "play that again" so I just kept it on repeat. If you ever see someone have a meltdown, try this song:

Some scratches on my hand are not actually a big deal, I don't mind that. It's the look in his eyes when he does it. He doesn't want to hurt me. It's so clear that he's just truly desperate to make it stop and thinks tearing something apart might help and is willing to try anything. I'd let him do it as much as he wanted if 1) I thought it would actually help, and 2) it weren't very dangerous to teach a kid - a kid who will one day grow up to be a black man who has a disability that causes him to make strange noises and barely be able to communicate and not understand the rules and sometimes get uncontrollably upset in public, that it's okay to grab people and dig your nails in when you get upset. Our goal with his therapy is mainly to make sure he doesn't grow up to do the wrong thing to the wrong person in public and get badly hurt. I get very scared when I think what might happen if he's still responding to stress by grabbing people once he's too big to be cute.

See, you can't make jokes about that. Not in ten minutes, anyway. Maybe a highly emotional Edinburgh hour. But I can't make jokes about that, and everything funny that does happen at my job is protected by medical confidentiality anyway. It's not fair, other comedians have jobs with amusingly stupid clients and things like that. What am I supposed to talk about? I mean I've got a Word document but I'm looking at it and I don't think I've ever had a good idea in my entire life. And I still can't think about more than one thing at a time.

...New Taskmaster date's exciting though. Pretty hyped about that. Taskmaster! March 28! They've all gone big on costumes! Let's fucking go!

I am actually fine, by the way. I made some posts earlier in 2024 about how I was in mental health crisis, which was true then, I just want to clarify that I'm not in that now. I'm just overwhelmed because I've been asked to do more than like two things at a time and I possibly should start leaving some of my anxiety meds at my mother's house so I don't just skip the nights when I stay here. I'll feel a lot better after my set tomorrow. I had a stressful fucking week last week too, for reasons that have nothing to do with any of this, so that doesn't help. This is really making me remember why I hated university so much, though. I don't do well with homework.

#Youtube

[womanofwords]

The Poisoned Prodigy (Chapter 5)

I woke up to James shoving a phone in my face first thing. "Your friend's on the news," he sang, in the stupid way he always did.

"What?" I asked, rubbing the blurriness out of my eyes. "Did he die? Oh, god, this should not be the way that I find that he's dead!"

"He's not dead, they got the guy who poisoned him!" James laughed. "Look at his freaky little mugshot, man! He looks like an insect with those massive bug eyes!" He scrolled down to a picture of a mugshot of the boy from the awards ceremony.

The blond hair I'd recognised from earlier now looked stuck to his head. One side of his face was already bruised, a wine-red colour comparing to the Greek yoghurt hue the rest of his face was. That had to be from Sally tackling him to the floor.

I took the phone from James and started reading it aloud. "Ernest DuBois carried out the murder attempt on Patton Reynolds by spiking a water bottle with a toxic substance and placing it in a convenient place for the announcer to get to if Patton were to need something for his throat. Upon searching the school for the source of the poison, a supply was found in the accused killer's school locker. In the meantime, Ernest DuBois proclaims his innocence and has the support of his family."

"Good thing you don't go to one of those fancy schools," James laughed. "Those rich kids are . . ." He twirled his index finger next to his temple and sniggered as he left the room. Rich kids might be crazy, but was Ernest DuBois really a rich kid? Maybe he was a scholarship kid with a fancy name.

A quick Google search confirmed that Ernest DuBois actually was rich. From several generations of oil money, no less. Apparently, it all started when his great-grandfather, Sylvestre DuBois, who had bought land previously assumed to be worthless and endeavoured to build a house on it. Somehow, this culminated in him tripping over his own feel and falling on a soft path of earth that erupted into an oil geyser. Ridiculous, but true.

That didn't mean the rest of the family was resting on their ancestors' morals. Multiple family members had gone on to be doctors, lawyers, business owners, and other impressive job titles. And then there was Ernest, the family criminal. Mommy and Daddy must be so proud.

I texted Sally a link to the news article. Not the best way to start a conversation with your best friend's possible crush who was now helping you solve his poisoning, but I had to start somewhere. Underneath the link, I had a question.

What was Ernest like with Patton in school?

She answered back in ten minutes.

When Patton arrived, Ernest immediately hated him. He kept snarking about how Patton was nothing special and got himself a pity scholarship because of the false leg. Clearly projecting.

Did Ernest do anything to Patton?

Verbal bullying, stealing his stuff, putting thumbtacks onto his chair. One time, he was caught sabotaging Patton's goggles by Dr Jacobs, the headmaster, and his own parents.

That was weird. People's parents don't typically wander around their school, unless they're helicopter parents.

Why were his parents in the school?

Ernest's parents were rich and paid for new science equipment. The headmaster was bringing the school's investors on a guided tour around the school to show them what their money paid for and they all got a front row seat to their precious baby stabbing another student's safety goggles with scissors. It was a big scandal.

So Ernest had been bullying Patton at school. He'd clearly told his aunt and uncle, but he'd never told me. He did mention that Ernest didn't like to be upstaged, so maybe that was important somehow.

Was Ernest anywhere near as smart as Patton?

No. He was an awful student and didn't understand a lot of the stuff in class, despite being in the advanced classes. Mommy's money indeed.

That was an interesting thought. Ernest wasn't as smart as Patton, and hated him for it. That could be proof that he just wasn't smart enough to poison Patton the way he was. But we'd need to find someone who would be able to tell us exactly how Ernest could have poisoned the water Patton drank.

Is there anybody that could tell us more information?

Dr Jacobs. He's the head of science and wrote literal books about poison. He's a safe bet.

:-)

The next time I walked into Sandalwood Institute, I didn't feel as lost. Sally was with me this time. "I've already gotten us an appointment with him. When I say everyone loved Patton, I mean everyone loved Patton," Sally said.

"How much are we talking?" I asked. Sally pointed to a shrine with flowers laid at the bottom. Patton's picture was affixed to the wall, a soft smile gracing his face. It had to be a school photo. "Whoa."

"See what I mean?" Sally looked at it with a mixture of shock and sadness, which changed to a small, smug, smile. "Ernest DuBois wishes he had this kind of love and loyalty."

We went up some stairs to the science block and I knocked on a door the read Dr Jacobs. "Come in," he said.

Dr Jacobs' office smelled like books, mainly because it was full of them. I saw some were written by him, Dr Oliver Jacobs. "Miss Kinley, Mr Song. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"We're trying to figure out what Patton was given," Sally said. "On the night of the awards ceremony."

Dr Jacobs looked at Sally and I with sadness. "Oh, Miss Kinley. You're not trying to use Patton's hospitalisation to play at being a detective, are you? Because there are much better ways of working through grief."

"First of all, Patton Reynolds is not dead yet," I pointed out. "People keep forgetting that fact. Second of all, we're trying to figure out if . . . maybe Ernest gave him something that looked worse than it actually was."

His features softened, and the teacher adjusted his glasses before he spoke. "Apologies."

"How did he do it, though? The poisoning, of course. I know Patton was poisoned with the water, but what poison?" I asked.

"Cyanide," Dr Jacobs said, straightening up. "Found in plants such as apples, peaches, and cherries, specifically the seeds and pits. Suffocates the body from the inside out by interfering with the normal course of oxygen in the body."

Sally and I took a step back. "How do you know this stuff?" I asked.

"I used to be a head toxicologist before I decided to slow down and give back to the community," Dr Jacobs explained. He shook his head slowly. "Never thought my previous line of work would overlap with this nasty business."

"Where would Ernest even get cyanide?" Sally asked. I wish I'd been the one to ask questions like that. "That must have taken a lot of effort. How many peaches or cherries or whatever would he have needed for such a task?"

"We have some cyanide in powdered form in the science cupboard. I keep it under lock and key, but Ernest must have gotten it somehow. Oh, it's all my fault." The teacher put his head in his hands and moaned like a dying animal. "I should have had tighter security measures so Ernest would never have been able to break in."

"Don't blame yourself, sir," I said, feeling awkward.

"No, no, I should have expected something like this." He began to cry, fat wet tears leaking from the gaps in his fingers. "Ernest was always so cruel to poor Patton. If I had just cracked down on it more at the time and had been more of a disciplinarian than a mediator, maybe Patton would be going to school as normal and we'd all be going on with our lives."

"Thank you for all your help, sir," Sally said, dragging me out.

"That was awkward," I said, once we were definitely far away enough that Dr Jacobs couldn't hear us.

"Awkward, but useful. It explains how the poisoner was able to get a hold of toxic substances so easily."

"And I guess Ernest was in the science labs a lot if he was got nominated for an award in scientific advancements," I said, a sleepy memory of that night pushing and shoving its way to the front of my brain.

"Hmm." Sally looked up at the ceiling, then at me. "Vincent, where did the news report say the poison was found?"

"In Ernest's locker. Why; is that useful?"

"Absolutely. He never normally used his locker. He just walked around with all his books in his bag at once. People used to call him The Turtle because of how much slouching he did underneath all that weight."

"So it could have been planted there by someone who hates Ernest and Patton!" I gasped. "Or maybe just Ernest. Patton doesn't seem to have any enemies other than Ernest anyway. But who in this school could have hated Ernest?"

Sally laughed. "Why don't we make a list of people who like him? It's a shorter list."

"How short?"

"We could use a sticky note. That was ripped in half."

"Oh."

:-)

"Vincent, what's wrong? You haven't eaten your bulgogi," Umma said.

"I've been thinking about Patton," I said. "He could die in the hospital because of some evil person."

Umma got quiet. "Of course. You should still eat, though."

"Who's Patton? Appa asked.

"Long hair boy with fake leg," Umma told him.

"Ah."

Dinner was quiet until I went upstairs to the room that James and I shared. In reality, James' stuff crept into what was supposed to be my space like fungus on bread. The only sign of it being my room was the bright green skateboarding helmet that I kept hanging off the headboard on my bed.

The one Patton got me for my birthday.

If you want to read the other chapters, see Masterlist.

#creative writing #my writing #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr #writers #writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #the poisoned prodigy #murder mystery

[apolloanddaphnis]

Speaking in Tongues

Part I

Disclaimer: Not proofread and inappropriate content I guess.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Minka's POV

I never tire of premieres. In high school everyone looked forward to the prom, why they looked forward to seeing all your peers on a Saturday, finding the ugliest dress in the store and being monitored by teachers while horrible music played was beyond me. Even in my adolescence I fantasized of premieres instead, spending forever in mamusia's room putting on her makeup and perfume, her dresses and pretending to be interviewed by E! and whoever was hosting the Oscars or the Academy Awards. 

My favorite part was always choosing what to wear, fashion is like art to me. You don't just choose what looks cute you  choose a palette, a theme, what will make your body flow and strut naturally. It is choosing your personality and displaying your interests, even a simple pair of nomination jeans with a t shirt and a pair of docs decide what you feel for that person and who they are.

I'm the only celebrity without a stylist, dressing myself and doing my hair and makeup is an emotional thing for me, maybe it's the punk rock roots from my now teaching father, but I don't even go to get my hair done. My signature black, bob is of my doing.

It's why there's so much footage of me on camera weeping whenever my ensemble is complimented, I put so much thought and heart into it. 

Tonight, beside my friend and director, James, presenting the premiere of Spellbound  at the Houdini mansion, I was Minka Farrah, but I was Minka Farrah inspired by Miranda, my malevolent two faced witch, the character I played in the film. 

It was a risk to wear the gloves but once I slid them on, it made my Morticia tight dress  pop, and with their occult imagery they too told the story. No one could hardly believe I had bought them off etsy, handcrafted and one of a kind, I made sure to heavily promote the artist behind them.

I felt so much worry and anxiety with this movie, like any remake. Yes the name is a tad different and James added and took away some things but, it's a classic, a niche cult classic, but a classic all the same. I worked so hard to be the perfect Miranda, taking from the original played by the late Kelly Preston, I also took inspiration from Lisle von Rhuman, and funny enough Miranda from the film Miranda about the mermaid. I was ridiculously overjoyed with the wonderful feedback I got in return. 

I was on cloud nine tonight, and then my confidence faded when Tom told me Timothée Chalamet was here tonight. I nearly threw up, that wicked Saxon, he knows the crush I harbor for the greatest actor of our generation. Longing was more a fitting word. He's the first boy in a while who's made me feel…well to not put it lightly, horny, the word ecstasy, inadequate, and…longing, all at once. I don't just want him to hold my throat during a movie, I don't just want him to fill anything considered a hole in me, I don't just want to talk about our influences, I want him to consume me and devour me. 

I have never met him, ever. But my brother, Stone, one day mentioned me as his favorite actor or actress of all time on Graham Norton's Show, and at the time I had no idea who he was. So Stone put on Call Me by your Name, and then showed me his Tumblr and the entire Chalaverse and I was hooked. I was very judgmental before watching his Little Women Christian Bale was the only Laurie for me I swore by him, but Timothée Chalamet ruined that for me. I think I went crazy for him watching him play Laurie.

And he's so gorgeous, long and tall and lean, I love skinny partners because it makes their shoulders and hands look even bigger, not the only reason but it's a major one. His hair is romantic and long and curly and just.. he's perfect, his mannerisms his voice, he has me hooked. And to hear that he's here…I mean it makes sense, he's Tom's friend. 

I hoped I looked good enough, when I think of him I feel too big for my hair…what if he likes long hair on girls…thankfully there was another photo op with James to distract me, I felt in my element until I turned around to whoever asked for my attention. "Yes?" I still wore a red painted smile laced with a laugh, and when I turned around it fell the mask fell because there he was, and looking at him and smelling his cologne and knowing he approached ruined my Agent Provocateur thong.

I was breathless, speechless.  I said nothing and just nodded with a smile.  

He tugged his bottom lip in with his teeth and I stared for a moment. "I thought y-you w-were– I mean–" he laughed breathily and ran a hand through his messy curls and I felt light headed. I sucked on my lip and he stared at me for a moment and I must have looked confused because he started to talk again. 

''I'm sorry, I'm sorry  I'll uh– I'll leave you alone." Before I could even scream for him to stop saying that I never want him to leave me alone, he walked away disappearing in the sea of tuxedos and gowns. What did I say?

Feeling disappointed, I made a beeline to the wine, I had the bartender fill up my glass all the way to the top with red champagne. My favorite, Chandon's red champagne, was a Shiraz of strawberry, raspberry, and cherry notes. It was my absolute favorite and right now I was going down as much as I could to forget how I ran off Timothée Chalamet.

Did I offend him? What was it?

Two glasses of red Chandon later we were heading to the after party at Chateau Marmont .

I was in the middle of talking to Lana when Tom walked up to me. "Hey, what did you do to Timothée?" 

I looked confused. I felt confused. "I didn't say one word to him."

''Exactly!"

I furrowed my brows "Tom, sweetie I'm not following."

Tom laughed.  "He thinks he offended you or annoyed you. But knowing how you feel about him, it's all starting to make sense." He smirked.

"Oh my God, shut up!" I squealed, which made him laugh louder. "I'll go talk to him, God he must think I'm such a snob!" Why did I have to get starstruck?

"No, no, he just thinks…." But Tom stopped himself, trailing off. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "Tom…"

Lana laughed. "Oh I think I know…" She and Tom exchanged a look and a brow waggle before laughing and I let out a cry of frustration.  "I hate you both, tell me right now!"

They just laughed harder and I shook my head. "Whatever, I'm going to apologize, do I look okay?" I gestured to my ensemble, honestly no one can say I didn't stick with the theme of the movie, it was an ode to Matt and Miranda's bdsm scene when she gave Matt the false sense of hope that he was in charge of their "relationship". It's a black latex suit, arm, body neck, everything covered, even had on fetish boots, but my breasts were completely out and my nipples covered with black latex pasties to match my black painted lips.

Tom choked on his drink as Lana eyed me with a slow and appreciative nod. "Minka bloody Farrah, the only person on the entire planet that stands there posing shy and cutesy in a fucking bdsm body suit asking if she looks okay!" He laughed in disbelief.

I pouted. "A simple yes would have sufficed.'' He shook his head. "Where is he?" I asked.

"In the bathroom having a smoke." I took a deep breath, some of Tom's IPA and headed to the French styled bathroom.  I knocked and a muffled "Occupied.' Spoke through the door.

"Um Timothée? It's me, uh Mink-" Before I could get my name out the door was opened and he stood there towering over me gorgeously in all his Capricorn glory, a black vintage fit blazer open, a white tooth shirt and faded jeans with combat boots, a necklace wrapped around his neck seductively and rings adorned the long, skeletal fingers that held a cigarette. He smelled like a writer, cigarettes, espresso, and alcohol. There was a spicy cologne with a hint of sweetness and a small amount of sweat. I wanted to eat him. His verdant eyes were naturally and dreamily hooded, but right now a little wide as his raspberry lips hung parted.  

I blinked and bit my lip as I twisted my fingers. "I wanted to apologize, Tom told me you thought you annoyed me–"

"I'm gonna kill Tom-"

"But you didn't! I was just…I love your acting so much, I was caught off guard…I'm so sorry, I can't believe I was so rude–"

"N-No, you weren't. " He finished softly with a breathy laugh before leaning against the doorframe. Stop posing or I'll drop to my knees.

I felt elated when I noticed his eyes roam my outfit, but then a little fear lingered in those depths of satisfaction. What if he thinks I'm too easy? He probably likes classy girls, he dated Lily-Rose Depp for God's sake. 

"You like my acting?" A smile tilted his lips up.

I shrugged with a smile. "You probably hear that all the time." His eyes drifted from my mouth to my pasties, maybe I should have worn something else.

But he stepped aside and gestured in. "Please, join me, there's a lovely seat on the toilet."

I giggled. "But then where will you sit?" 

"In the tub of course."

@meetmyothersouls @sufferingstarlight

#timothee chamalet #timothée chalamet #timothée chalamet x oc

[bengiyo]

Bed Friend Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

Bestie is sick today, and I've already seen reactions from others, so I'm going into this first episode warmer than normal. This is my first time with Net and James, and I'm curious to see why everyone finds them so appealing. Hoping Domundi does a good job with a workplace show.

I know this intro is a lot of tell mixed with show, but, after coming off of Chains of Heart yesterday, I appreciate setting up the initial layout of the world through our protagonist's internal voice.

Happy to see Yim, and happy to see a femme described positively.

While the credits are playing, let me just say how bullshit it is that iQIYI offers a tier for 4K streams and yet doesn't deploy that to its tv apps.

Domundi is developing a distinct visual look with their editing, and I actually like it. There's a softness that almost reminds me of Nadao.

I think a big part of the Cherry Magic appeal for me was that Adachi and Kurosawa were fairly equal at work. I'm not always keen on the boss-employee dynamic.

Starting on a loss for Uea, directly into a traumatic flashback. I think the young actor played the boy who drowned in Between Us?

I'm very curious what happens with the BL children in the next 4-8 years.

So Uea's Mon is abusive and homophobic. Call the people, because locking a child in the dark in the bathroom is fucked.

I'm sorry, Uea, but the nice apartment can't erase everything your mom did to you (and seemingly still does, given his reaction to her phone call). Hate that I've watched homophobic mom's hit their sons twice today.

King seems like he's been flirting with Uea for a while now.

I see Jade has entered the competition for the NAMGOONG BEST BOY AWARD 2023. It will be tough to beat Tiwson, but I applaud the effort.

I don't think employers should play with their team's emotions like this.

I'm having a lot of fun with Jade. It's nice to see Yim in a different role.

Oh, I don't like Uea getting this drunk. Hate how his mom expects him to financially support them after everything, and not a fan of Pock either.

I wonder why they chose to put them both in blue.

King really should not have this encounter with Uea. Net and James are clearly comfortable with each other, but I doubt Uea will be thrilled in the morning.

I think I'm glad Uea remembers what happened. Still, not a great starting line.

That sculpture and that pillow are doing a lot of work in this scene to obscure how nude King may be.

I think I saw some analysis that Uea's feelings around promiscuity are influenced by the mom, so he's in a state of self-loathing for "being a slut" likely in conjunction with King perhaps taking advantage of his intoxicated state.

I get King wanting to reassure himself about the encounter, but it's not like Uea talked to him much prior to that.

Oh no, the Toyota Camry!! Will the problems never cease??

Okay, a difficult starting line all around, but I'm intrigued. I'll be back next week to sneer at Uea's mom.

#bed friend #bed friend meta #thai bl #bl series #ql series #Ben watches

[mythoughtsxxblog]

19 years ago today (September 23 2003) One Tree Hill premiered on the WB.

To celebrate I thought I'd post yet another opinion thread about my favorite show of all time.

Nathan Scott is quite possibly the best teen drama boy/man to ever exist. He had his flaws, but was ultimately the best husband, father, brother, and son anyone could ask for. Despite having a rough childhood, he managed to overcome and stop the toxic cycle of neglect/abuse. He made his children's lives something he had wished for himself. It takes a strong person to do that. Forever will love this man.

Lucas Scott aggravates me to no end.

3x20 is TV excellence. That no look shot is iconic and nothing will ever top that moment in TV.

Nobody does music like OTH. All those performances? Amazing.

Nathan and Haley >>>>> every other couple on the show. Idc what anyone says they were the #1 ship to come out of OTH. They went through hard times, but came out stronger in the end. I don't think there's any other TV couple with this much of a hold on me. And I've watched a lot of TV shows lol. They make me feel so comfy and warm inside. They're safe and overall written so damn well.

Going with what I said above, James and Joy's chemistry is what made Naley work tbh. They had such insane chemistry and it's mind boggling that they never even had a chemistry read when auditioning. OTH writers struck gold with them.

Dan is one of the best villains in TV show history.

Grandpa Dan....an angel lmao

It legit infuriates me that CMM was looked at as the heartthrob of the show when James Lafferty was right there. That man was and is still gorgeous. And if I'm being honest, his acting felt more natural to me than CMM. But that's a conversation for another day lol

We should've got more Skills than Mouth

Brooke's best seasons were the adult seasons tbh. Yes, she had iconic moments in the high school years, but her actual development doesn't really hit until the adult years imo

I'm convinced they only did the Nathan/Brooke sextape because they wanted the audience to sympathize with Peyton. Also Nathan and Brooke are quite possibly the most liked characters, the writers probably thought why not try destroying their development 🙄🙄

I loved Jamie 🤷🏻‍♀️ it seems like so many people find him annoying but I loved him lol I can understand why he might be annoying to some, but I really enjoyed him and thought he was a great addition to the show. He had great chemistry with all the core characters

6x03 is the saddest episode in TV history and if you don't cry watching it, you're not human

Nathan's NBA story arc is amazing storytelling. I loved every minute of it and believe it's one of, if not, the best story arc to come out of the show

Peyton was so much more likeable when she wasn't with Lucas. I honestly enjoyed her and Lucas being friends way more than when they got together

I didn't mind Lucas and Lindsay

Season 9 was so chaotic, but I loved it

I loved how Julian went from this hot mysterious producer to an absolute dork that loved chasing butterflies. Best development lol

This cast deserved an award for 3x16. The acting was on point. The storyline was on point. One of the most well done sch*ol sh*oting episodes I've seen a TV show pull off. It's a shame they barely got any credit for it

Never got the appeal to Karen/Keith. I honestly shipped Deb/Keith more lol

Nathan's depression storyline deserved better. The writers dropped the ball on a lot of mental health storylines, but this one in particular upsets me. First it was the race car incident in season 2. He should've gone to therapy. Then it was season 5 and his back injury. It felt as though he was being told get over it and "man up" when that sends a pretty toxic message. The scene with Peyton and him in the hospital pissed me off. As if seeing a child with cancer is supposed to make him feel better. I get what they were trying to get across, but it could've been done differently. Also Haley throwing dishes/bottles???? Why? Great acting moment from Joy, but unnecessary for Haley's character. I also applaud James for his acting throughout this storyline. Just wish it was written better.

Continuing with the above statement, Haley's depression storyline was done much better. It was a bit rushed, but it wasn't as frustrating to watch.

I always preferred Brooke and Haley's friendship to Brooke and Peyton's

Brooke and Nathan's friendship deserved more screen time. That scene when Nathan goes to check on her before Quentin's funeral will forever break me

Nathan getting harassed in the shower doesn't get talked about enough. Absolutely foul.

Although I loved Brooke getting her happy ending, I kinda wish they settled with her adopting instead of miraculously being able to have kids. Her adopting would've been more relatable.

Rachel deserved better

Quinn deserved better writing. I feel like she was treated more like eye candy than anything. Justice for Shantel VanSanten

FUCK M*RK S*HWAHN

I have many more opinions, but this is already long enough lol. Anyways, this show will always and forever have a place in my heart.

#one tree hill #oth #happy oth day #nathan scott #lucas scott #peyton sawyer #brooke davis #haley james scott #james lafferty #chad michael murray #bethany joy lenz #hilarie burton

[tenaciouspostfun]

Is the present cast as good as when it first opened on Broadway in the early 2000's? Debatable. Where Tim Curry absolutely killed it as King Arthur and under Mike Nichols brilliant direction, "Spamalot was a sensation back when. Under the book by Eric Idle and music by John Du Prez and Eric Idle this musical is still a brilliant piece. Director (and choreography) Josh Rhodes takes this great piece based on the 1975 movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail now playing at the St. James Theatre and keeps the side splitting laughter front and center.

It is 932 AD, plague beseeches much of England. God has chosen King Arthur (James Monroe Iglehart) to find the Holy Grail. Arthur summons his round table to help him in his journey. From Sir Lancelot(Taran Killam), Sir Robin( Michael Urie), Galahad (Nik Walker), the entire trip is rip roaring laughter!

The cast plays many roles and all are quite good, however, Michael Urie and Leslie Rodriguez Kritzer(The Lady of the Lake), steal the show. Urie is one of the best Broadway has to offer today; having seen him in various role over the years, Urie always give the audience a treat with his acting. Kritzer's singing, her acting were outstanding.

As the King trudges through a not- yet-united-kingdom, he is helped along by his neglected sidekick Patsy (Christopher Fitzgerald). Faced with zany characters (some oversized; to the Ni' and onto a killer rabbit). We meet mud-covered mothers and an amputee swordsman. Adding to this farce, even the French get spoofed and it maybe the highlight of the afternoon.

What has been added to this "Spamalot" is the frustrated historian and it is well played by Ethan Slater (SpongeBob the Musical), wimpy Prince Herbert, the killer bunny and many other wacky characters. Slater, like Urie gives us great business, funny action that brings the show to higher levels.

The design in this musical is decent (Paul Tate dePoo lll) as is the projections. I thought the projection here never changes the locations well enough. In the design it merely supports the show rather than being just functional it never raises the show to a bigger brighter visual. Here we get a missed opportunity to separate itself from the "Spamelot" we saw back in 2005.

In Jen Caprio's costume design, Cory Pattak's lighting and Kai Harada's sound design we get full support to the musical. Where scenic and projection just exist, the aforementioned really bring great effect and support to this two plus hours of entertainment.

In a spoof such as this, the music needs to be as memorable as the plot itself. Songs like :"I Am Not Dead Yet", "All In One", "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", "You Won't Succeed on Broadway", "Diva's Lament" and "I'm All Alone" are all memorable and funny.

By way of entertainment, "Spamalot" is great-good-fun and certainly something we can all us in these times; pure escapism and for the most part, the jokes land well. The actors are versatile and talented and they bring excitement and lite fun to their performances. The show never is slow and moves at a rapid pace throughout. Comparing it to when it first came to Broadway hurts this show in that it had a different director, different actors but I promise you that you will not be disappointed seeing this rendition.

Broadway, Spamalot, Some Like It Hot, A Beautiful Noise, The Shark is Broken, Back To The Future, Hamilton, Aladdin, The Lion King, Michael Urie, Tim Curry, David Hyde Pierce, Harry Potter and The Cursed Child, Tony Awards, www.broadwayworld.com, Mann About Town, Metropolitan Magazine, My Life Publications, Nimbus Magazine, WACE Entertainment, Gimme Shelter Productions, LLC.

[geniusalpaca]

Miscellaneous Masterlist

THESE ARE NOT MINE! These are just fics that i really liked. Please check out the really talented authors of these fics. If there are any mistakes in this list (like links not working etc) Please let me know! Also recommendations are welcome!

WARNING: Some of these fics may be NSFW i tried to mark those with an *. But if i missed some please let me know!

- Wine Glasses- Harrison Osterfield One Shot by @cali-holland

Tom and the twins plan on surprising Harrison, but that backfires when they catch the two of you on a date.

- Move In With Me by @fallinallincurls

Shawn asks you to move in with him.

- Drink by @morizoras-cave

Could you maybe do a Ryan Reynolds x teen!reader where the reader maybe goes to a party and something gets slipped into her drink but she calls Ryan and says she doesn’t feel well and he gets her and looks after her?

- Alley  by @morizoras-cave 

hello! alternatively, could you please write a James McAvoy x teen!costar!reader where after an interview, the reader leaves backstage to an alley to receive a call. before she can enter the building, she is stopped by a an older man who are being super creepy and whatnot. James, wondering where the reader is, goes to the alley and seeing what is happening, becomes really mad and protective over the reader.

- Kid problems by @morizoras-cave

Please may I request a mcu cast x child!reader where the kids the daughter of a new female superhero actor (made up) and the cast finds up she’s been verbally/ physically abusive so the kid and confront the lady about it and comfort the kid?

-  Tired* by @lanasprotege

after your long night out at Andrew’s award show, he’s exhausted and ready to call it a night — but feeling aroused after watching him at the show all night, you have other plans in mind

-  Feeling Okay? by @marvhellove

so i'd like to request a one shot with the Avengers cast (i especially stan rdj oops) where maybe they're on set and shooting some fight scenes and the reader has always had problems with wonky blood pressure but it was never really that bad, but this time she passes out and they're all concerned and all the fluff?

-  Baby Don’t Cry by @forever-more-never-again

Can I request R x avengers cast where R is like 4-5 years younger than T Holland and the cast are like "wow I thought holland was a baby but here you are" especially anthony and seb. And they tease her a lot. But then one day R got in to an accident maybe like a stunt gone wrong and it's bad and everyone is like !!!!!! THE BABY !!

-  Cinnamon Apple [z.c] by @selfcarecap

you and Zendaya make things official

-  How to Deal With a Bunch of Aggravating, Overprotective Brothers by @marvelous-imagining

Could you do a Steve x reader where she is steve’s girlfriend and the other guys (Tony, t'challa, bucky, Sam, pietro etc) are like her big bros. And she has to go undercover in a bar alone to get some bad guy. She’s on her comms and the avengers have visual on her. But some guy flirts with her&Steve and the other guys are being annoying on the comms&asking the reader to punch him.

-  Molecular Thingamajig by @forever-more-never-again

I was wondering if I could have a platonic avengers x teen reader. She has the power of invisibility and maybe she is left alone with Bruce and he gets angry and turns into the hulk and she's terrified and she gets hurt but fluffy ending?

-  Chris Loves His Wife by @toastedkiwi

fan interactions/witnessing how much Chris loves you.

-  Reconcile by @alyswritings

Druig comes to his sister's aid when she calls.

- Domesticity* by @cobaiinn

matt and y/n bask in the domestic bliss of a friday morning when matt has off work.

- Dylan O'Brien x Female Reader* by @slutobrien

Choking

- Dylan O'Brien x Female Reader* by @slutobrien

Subspace

-  accidents happen by @eddiemunsonswhxre

you didn't mean to chip eddie's guitar, and now that you had you were terrified.

[mrs-march-ahs]

how the evans would act when they have a crush on u ^^

How The Evans Act When They Have A Crush On You & How They React When You Tell Them You Like Them Too

Award for the longest title goes tooooo... me!

JAMES SUCKS BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY DOING BOTH KYLE’S AND A DETAILED KIT

Two other requests-

Could I please request how the Evans would react to their best friend (reader) admitting they're in love with them? 

Heyo! I’m not sure how this would go but how would the Evan’s react to a nervous/insecure reader confessing to them?

-I hope this is satisfactory, even though I don’t think it’s what you two wanted<3

Enjoy! :)

--

Tate

-Would always just be interested in you

-Wanting to help you, watch you, talk to you, just constantly be around you

-But he’d also be insecure whether he was annoying you, so occasionally he would make himself invisible and just watch you

-Whatever hobbies you had, he’d love to watch you do them, paint, draw, write, play games

-If you played any instrument he would love to lay on your bed and listen to you, no matter how good or bad you were

-He would leave little sweet messages on the chalkboard and leave little post-it notes for you to find

-They would have fun little facts about birds or other trivial stuff but you would find them cute

-The occasional fact about something romantic, like ‘Every time you kiss somebody, your heart beat increases by 10-15 beats per minute’

-He might go a little far and leave a message like ‘Your dress looked pretty’, which you would find creepy since you didn’t know Tate was a ghost

Kit

-He thought of ways to tell you how he felt but because it seemed like your family was gonna live in the murder house for a while, cause you were all settling in well, he didn’t want to risk losing his friendship with you, since you were the only ghost with whom he really got along

-You walked down to the basement and said his name in a sing song voice, “Tateeeee”, “Come out come out wherever you are!”

-He showed up and you asked him if he wanted to go out on a real date

-He was obviously nervous, because you didn’t know yet that he was a ghost, but when he hesitated and you looked upset, he said yes right away

-You ran up and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, making him blush and laugh, and whilst you were at school, he got some things ready and got candles and a table cover so make your kitchen look like a restaurant

-He ordered McDonalds delivery and got your chicken nuggets under a serving platter for effect

- “We are dining on, nuggets of the chicken”

-Although you were a little disappointed and wanted to go out on a real date with him, you found his effort cute

-He definitely played footsie with you under the table the whole date

-Definitely walked you to your room

- “Well… this is me…”

- “Just wanted to make sure you got home safe”

-Kissed you

oh my god I got so carried away

-You would first meet Kit when you first come and move to Massachusetts

-One day you want to venture out and get an taxi to go to town, only a few minutes later to realise you don’t have your wallet

-You awkwardly tell the driver that if takes you back home quickly, you can get money and you will pay him right away

-But since Boston men aren’t usually so sweet, he just kicks you out, leaving you to wander the motorway alone late at night, far away from your home and hoping to quickly find somewhere to go

-Eventually you stumble upon a gas station, and as you walk up, a hand appearing on your shoulder makes you automatically turn around and push whoever touched you to the ground

-The man in blue uniform gets up slowly with his hands up defensively, “Hey hey, didn’t mean to startle ya, miss”

-You apologise, feeling stupid for this kind of encounter, but he doesn’t seem to mind as much as you’d think

- “It’s always nice to see a woman able to protect herself”, he smiles

-He offers to drive you home, and you thank him dearly, explaining to him that you don’t have a car yet, having only just moved here

-He offers to take you to buy one, knowing an awful lot about cars, and to convince you further, tells you that any man working in a car salon will try to sell a single lady a piece of junk for a high price

-You agree, thinking that the offer is sweet, and he takes you to buy yourself a car, to make the date even more fun, Kit tells you to pretend you’re an old married couple

- “Miss Walka over here needs a car, good Sir”

-At some point while looking at cars, Kit holds your hand and you don’t even notice

-He negotiates a good deal with the salesman, and you get a car together

- “Your husband just got you an awfully good deal, Madam, he’s a man who deserves a good meal and a cold beer if I’ve ever seen one”, the salesman laughs, signing the last of the papers before handing Kit the keys to your car. “Oh, he’ll get more than that”, you say to tease Kit, before smiling at him sweetly. Kit blinks at you, before turning back to the salesman and shaking his hand. As the two of you walk away, Kit looks at you in disbelief, the thought of your dirty words clearly plastered in his mind. “Did ya mean what you said back there?”. He says, as he opens the car door for you. “Whatever do you mean?”, you act stupid. “I was just pretending to be your wife, Mr Walka”

-When he has a crush on you, he gives you sooo many compliments

-Little dirty innuendos

-Would definitely call you and talk to you late night on the phone until one of you fell asleep (house phone if they had them)

-He’s the kind of person to tell you that he got a visit from a cute dog earlier at the gas station and it made him think of you

 Kyle

-Every time you go to get gas from Kit, he gives you only a little amount, so you have a reason to keep coming back

-One time when you go get gas from him, you forget your wallet again, and he teases you about it

-He lets you off and pays for your gas

- “I owe you, Mr Walka”

- “How about a date?”

-You smile at how confident he is, and nod excitedly, having been waiting for him to ask you for a while now

-Kit winks at you and waves as you drive off, completely melted inside about finally getting his girl

-Even though he’s always confident, he’s still a little shy and awkward around you when he sees you in class

-If all of his friends are in a class messing around, throwing stuff, being loud, and you walk it, he tells everybody to shut up because there’s a lady present

- “Hey careful, make sure you don’t throw it at her”

-It’s not until he sees you at a huge party, that he’s confident enough to go up to you

-Even though he’s more than happy to flirt, he’s just not confident enough to do that last step and ask you out somewhere

-He’ll bring you a drink and  talk and flirt with you, and you’ll definitely get the hint

-He slowly lifts his arm up and stretches it over you, trying to do the classic yawn move, hoping you won’t notice or mind. You look over at him and narrow your eyes in fake suspicion.

- “Didn’t you come here with a movie star? Surely you get handsome men bringing you drinks all the time?”, he says, motioning to the drink in your hand.

“You calling yourself handsome?”, you tease him. Kyle laughs a breathy awkward laugh and nods. “Well yeah”

-When you do ask him for a date, he insists that he take the initiative to plan what you two do

-Clearly wanting to make a good first impression, he’d take you somewhere interesting

-Aquarium, in which he’ll make up clearly fake facts about the fish just to make you laugh

-Bowling, just so he can tease you about how much you suck

-Mini golf, so, even though you know how to play, he can wrap his arms around you and help you put

-And if he does take you to the movies, you aren’t spending a dime

-He’ll also wrap his arm around you not-so subtly

Franken Kyle

“Whatcha doin there, hm?”. Kyle leans into your ear and whispers.

“Just in case you get scared, you can cuddle up to me”

“Kyle we’re watching the Lego movie”

Jimmy

-You’re a witch at the academy, and with Kyle’s very slow progress to getting better, both Zoe and Madison are getting slightly tired of having to constantly take care of him

-But you don’t mind, finding his Frankenstein state cute

-Whenever he stumbles into the kitchen by himself you always help him make food

-If he’s ever struggling with anything, he usually comes to you, knowing you’re the most patient out of them all

-Then, one night, all the teens in the academy go to a party, while you lay in bed

-But when the rain starts to get really heavy and the first thunder growls, Kyle rushes into your room, before slowly knowing and peaking his head out, clearly scared

-You let him come and lay with you, rubbing his back to calm him down

-Although no real words are spoken, it’s from that moment that you decide to take on all responsibilities relating to Kyle, the good and the bad

-He’s admired you from afar for a very long time, ever since the first time you joined the circus

-You were incredibly flexible, and always showing off to everyone and practicing on stage

-He would always come and watch you practice, cheering you on more than anybody else

-You called Jimmy ‘my cheerleader’

-It made him blush every time

-Amazon Eve always told him to just ask you for dinner, but the only thing that stopped him was the thought that you wouldn’t want to go out and be seen with a freak like him, especially since your body looked so normal that you didn’t have to hide anything

-Eve and Paul reminded Jimmy that it’s him who’s always the most confident in going out into the real world, and he mustn’t be scared

-When they all plan to go to a diner together, as a protest to being shunned from society, you find his leadership charming and happily go with them

-Even though you all get kicked out, you calm Jimmy down and take care of him when his dad beats him up

James

-You wipe the scars on his face and tell him how brave you think he is

- Trying to gain confidence, you take a deep breath before making the move. “Maybe the two of us should go to that diner”. Jimmy looks up at you, as if he expects you to keep talking. When the nerves hit you all at once, you begin rambling. “You know cause if the two of us go and they’re okay with that then maybe we can start going with the others one by one, and then you know we’ll ease our way back into society and stuff”. You laugh a breathy laugh, but Jimmy says nothing. With every silent second passing, your heart begins to break. But luckily for you, Jimmy speaks up. “Wait, are you asking me out? Like… on a date? To the diner?”. “What if I were?”, you quietly reply. He smiles wide and pulls you closer to him, “I’d love that”.

-James is definitely the least subtle

-Constantly giving you compliments, kisses and gifts

-Opening every door for you and listening very carefully to everything you say

-He doesn’t want you to even think about another man, so he overwhelms you with every way he can show you he likes you

-I can imagine him organising a big ball or event at the hotel just so the two of you can dress up and go together

-He is also the most confident out of them all, although he is a softie around you, he has no trouble asking you anything he wants to you

-He’ll kiss your hand a lot and you’ll eventually get the hint

Kai

- “I would be most delighted if we were to make our relationship more official, and vow fully loyalty to one another”

-You agree and he is over the moon

-Once the two of you are in a relationship, the compliments, kisses and gifts don’t stop

-He will give you your space without him, but when the two of you are in the same room together, he treats your precious time together as if it’s sacred

-He will approximately 43 seconds into your relationship begin planning how he’s gonna kill you

-You can tell Kai likes you when he’s harsher on you than he is on other members of the cult

-He’ll be pissed at you for being a distraction for him

-He’ll definitely tell you when he’s impressed with you, when you murdered somebody or helped him plan something

-Even though he definitely would not want it

-If you proved to be smarter than him in any aspect, he’d be furious

-You’d be sat on his sofa while he’s talking to you about having to kill Sally because she’s getting in the way of him winning city council

- “Samuels looked at where she lives, and it has no back doors, no nothing, it’ll be impossible to get in her house without smashing windows and causing attention”

“Why don’t you get Ally to go to her first? If Meadow convinces her to go to Sally to talk about the cult, then the front door will be open”. Kai looks at you with angry eyebrows. “We’ll sit in the car and wait for a few seconds, she’ll let Ally in, won’t lock the door straight after her, and then let them talk for a minute before we just walk right in”

-His ego won’t let him take suggestions from somebody below him, so even though he wants to be proud of you for being smart, he’s mad

-He’ll sit for hooours trying to think of any other solution he physically can think of, to not go with what you suggested

-Around the cult, he’d treat you like everybody else though

- “Y/N’s idea was brilliant, Ally just walked in and they walked straight to sit down, she didn’t lock the door”

-He’d praise you to encourage you to think of ideas, which he would later be mad that you have

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

-You’d find out how he felt about you during pinky power

-After being suspicious that he may have feelings for you for a while, you realised this is the only way to truly find out how he feels without him trying to manipulate you

-He’d ask you about something deep, and you’d latch on after he finishes a sentence to ask him your question

- “I have a question for you”

“Go ahead”

“How do you feel about me?”

Kai stays silent and continues to look you in the eye, taken aback by the question but not wanting to show it.

“When you’re with me, how do you feel?”

“I think you have real potential, you’re strong-”

“I’m not asking the Divine Ruler, I’m asking Kai, Kai Anderson”

He takes a deep breath before unintentionally breaking eye contact for a few seconds to think. You wait anxiously for the answer, and with every second passing you know what it will be.

“You’re special”, he starts, looking you in the eye again. “You’re valuable to the group, and to me. And I think you’d be a great… mother”. The last catches you off guard, not expecting Kai to be a family man or to think about this with you.

“You… you want me to… have your children?”

“I think our children would be indestructible, strong, powerful, decisive. They would be the seed of the better future”. Although it was a little forward for somebody you’ve never even kissed, you were beyond flattered, knowing how specific Kai is with traits in people.

“Let’s make a baby”, Kai says.

“Whoa whoa”, you laugh and unlink your pinky with his. “We’re not even dating, Kai”

“Why date if children is the ultimate purpose?”

“Then don’t look at is as dating… look at it… as getting to know the mother of your future children”

-Kai would love this and you’d soon end up dating

-And have like 6 kids

@milly-louise  @amourtentiaa  @kitwalker02  @tatestripedsweater  @therenlover  @maria-akira         @tatesimper  @thxc0untessesgl0ve  @mossybank  @ahsxual  @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess  @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan  @kitwalkerangel  @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt  @blackbat2020@elaineygrace @kaiandersonskoolaid  @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash

As usual, if you wanted to be added or taken away, dm me or comment!! I won’t mind! <3

#american horror story #ahs #tate langdon x #tate langdon #tate langdon x reader #tate langdon imagine #kit walker #kit walker x #kit walker x reader #kit walker imagine #kyle spencer #kyle spencer x #kyle spencer x reader #kyle spencer imagine #frankenkyle #jimmy darling #jimmy darling x #jimmy darling x reader #jimmy darling imagine #james march #james patrick march #mr march #james march x #james march x reader #james march imagine #kai anderson #kai anderson x #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson imagine #ahs imagine

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

#jackles long con #unparalled media experience #desticule #dean is bi #spn tinhatting #ben hur treatment #dean was always bi #jackles sexy silence #jensen ackles #spn meta #spngate #spn bts #spn behind the scenes #ben edlund #ben hur #bedlund #spn metacanon #i went off #I really do believe that bedlund ben hur'd Jensen #spn gaslighting #JENSEN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL #my asks #caslighting #original content #long post #this has been stewing for a long time #reference #oh do help me this is somehting other people know way more about. #deranged #spn homophobia

[fific7]

Cold Day in Hell - Part 3

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: This does not completely follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 because the world needs more Logan Delos. (Song mentioned is ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ by Taylor Swift)

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

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(My GIF)

You lifted Logan’s arm off you and scooted out of the bed at the speed of light, and stood beside it looking down at him. He, meanwhile, had stretched himself out like a big cat right across the bed and was grinning lazily up at you.

“Awww, sweetheart - you spoiled my fun!”

Turning on your heel, saying nothing, you headed to the bathroom and locked the door. You hopped into the shower, praying that he’d have taken the hint and left by the time you emerged. Taking your time, you blow-dried your hair a little and smoothed on the expensive, famous brand body lotion provided by the hotel. Wrapping yourself in one of the hotel’s fluffy bathrobes and picking up your clothes, you cautiously opened the bathroom door and walked into the room.

Logan was still on the bed. In fact, he was now in the bed and had pulled the covers over himself up to his waist, his clothes in a pile on the floor. All of his clothes.

His head turned towards you, his eyes meeting yours and he folded his arms across his bare chest. “You’ve been ages in there, sweetheart. And I needta use the restroom so badly!” He dramatically threw back the bedcovers and you turned away like a flash, squeezing your eyes closed before you got an eyeful.

You felt soft huffs of breath on your neck and Logan whispered, “Oh good, you’re naked too. Well, underneath that robe you are.” You felt long fingers slowly moving the neckline of your robe aside and you clutched at the fabric, pulling it tightly closed. “Logan…. will you please just fuck off!” The fingers left your robe and you heard a deep chuckle, “I’ll only be a few minutes, darlin’, then we can continue this conversation back in bed.”

A thought quickly whizzed through your brain that you’d just told your company’s biggest client to fuck off, but really - he was too much.

The second you heard the bathroom door close, you raced to the wardrobe and pulled out the skirt and blouse you’d decided to wear that day. Grabbing your lingerie, you got dressed in record time and were just doing up the last of your blouse buttons when you heard the door opening again, and quickly shut your eyes again in anticipation of a naked Logan appearing in front of you.

“Ohh, really? You got dressed? It’s too early for that, sweetheart - it’s only 5 am. Take ‘em off and we’ll go back to bed,” you heard, his voice seductive. “Absolutely not, Logan,” you snapped back, “and put your damn clothes back on!”

He gave an exaggerated sigh, “Oh my, you are absolutely no fun at all!” Trying to move away from him, eyes still closed, you came in contact with a toned torso and leapt back from him as if you’d been burned. You banged into the table behind you and a pair of arms instantly went round you. “Careful, angel.” You tried to shove away from him and made the mistake of opening your eyes. Logan tightened his hold on you and his dark espresso eyes were gazing into yours. You didn’t look down but he was pressing his very healthy erection against your lower abdomen and he leant in towards you, lips millimetres away from yours.

Suddenly, you realised you’d parted your lips slightly in anticipation of him kissing you. But he released you, turning quickly away (you trying not to look at that tight ass, really trying) and heading back to his clothes pile. He grabbed them up and headed into the bathroom, saying over his shoulder, “Don’t mind if I use your shower, angel, do you?” The door closed behind him.

Relieved, you thought, ‘Well, I think I managed to handle that okay. Didn’t I?” You weren’t absolutely sure that you had, but whatever.

You settled back in one of the chairs and switched on the TV. Busy channel-hopping to find something worth your attention, you suddenly heard a loud guttural moan issuing forth from the man in the bathroom.

Okayyyy, well… that sounded like he’d managed to handle it himself.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan was under the shower, vigorously soaping his body and humming a tune as he did so. It didn’t take too long for his hand to stray down onto his erection and he began stroking. Soon, he leant back against the tiled shower wall as he increased his pace, firmly pulling and squeezing his length before he came with a loud groan. Hope she heard that, he grinned to himself.

The first part of his plan hadn’t gone too badly. He’d got a lot closer to her already but this was him just getting into his stride. He was well aware he had to be careful not to overstep, but… he’d seen the way her lips had parted when she thought he was going to kiss her, so he was going to continue tiptoeing up to the line before stepping quickly back. He had a gut feeling that was the way to go.

He’d make her beg him for it before he was finished.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

As you gathered up your spare handouts and the rest of your stuff at the end of the first investor meeting, you had to admit that you and Logan had worked extremely well together. Neither of you had rehearsed how to approach the meetings past what information you were going to cover, but you’d ended up being a bit of a double act. In fact the two of you had received a round of applause at the end of it.

Logan strolled round the conference table to stand next to you and looking up at him, yet again his sheer magnetism made you catch your breath. You looked down quickly, packing the remaining folders away into your document bag. “That went really well, you were fabulous.” “Thanks Logan, so were you.” As you met his gaze again, he smirked, “Well, I keep trying to show you just how fabulous I am, but you keep shutting me down.”

You opened your mouth to reply but he said quickly, “Just have dinner with me.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan was feeling very happy with himself. She’d agreed to have dinner with him albeit reluctantly, and he was back in the shower, working shampoo through his hair before rinsing it out and enthusiastically shaking his head to and fro. He started singing “I Knew You Were Trouble”, lovingly stroking and winking at his resting manhood before pouring a generous amount of shower gel into his hand and rubbing it over his body.

Strings pulled, he’d managed to get a table at SkyCity, and he had a really good feeling about tonight. Once she saw the view from the top of the Space Needle and had sipped a few glasses of premium champagne, surely he could charm her into his bed? With a confident spring in his step, he dried himself with one of the big fluffy towels, still singing.

“'𝒞𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃

𝒮𝑜 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓌

𝐹𝓁𝑒𝓌 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝐼'𝒹 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃

'𝒯𝒾𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃, 𝑜𝒽

𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝒾𝓃

𝒮𝑜 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓌

𝐹𝓁𝑒𝓌 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓈 𝐼'𝒹 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃

𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝐼'𝓂 𝓁𝓎𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹

𝒪𝒽, 𝑜𝒽, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒

𝒪𝒽, 𝑜𝒽, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝓉𝓇𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓁𝑒”

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Laying back in the bath, you swirled your fingers through the fragrant foam on the water’s surface and wondered how long it would take Logan to make his move. Because you knew, as night follows day, that he would hit on you tonight. You weren’t fooled by his earlier tease of almost kissing you. Even if - annoyingly - you knew you would have given in to it if he had. You guessed he’d probably try that approach again to entrap you. Picking up a big handful of foam, you blew it off your palm into the air and groaned.

The handsome big devil! Why did he always have to look so fucking hot?!

Another groan left your lips. You were going to have to firstly be on your guard big time, and secondly - and more importantly - stay in control of your own damn self!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The view was spectacular. The meal was delicious, the champagne flowed and so did the conversation between the two of you. You ended up telling him way more than you’d originally meant to, how you’d had to fight your parents every step of the way to study your chosen subject - they wanted you to be a doctor or a lawyer and had eventually refused to contribute anything towards your education fees. How you still had a slightly frosty relationship with them, especially as your younger brother had gone on to become a doctor and therefore - irrespective of the fact that you’d earned many awards within your field and your salary was double what he made - little brother was perfection personified as far as your parents were concerned.

Logan had snorted as he’d sipped his champagne when you’d said that, and went on to tell you some choice items about James, ‘Daddy Dearest’ as he called him. How he and Juliet had eventually forced him into retirement, and he’d also made some cryptic comments about his ex brother-in-law and something which had happened in Westworld. He’d quickly changed the subject and recounted various other exploits of his while there, eyes sparkling with mischievousness as he mentioned heists and orgies. And the hosts. He told you all about the hosts.

“Sounds like you spend a lot of time with them, Logan,” you commented, strangely jealous of these robots for some reason. He shrugged, “That’s what they’re there for,” smiling at you, “no strings, y’know? No consequences.” You sat back in your chair, “And I guess that appeals to you? Like, a lot.” Logan crossed one long leg over another and also relaxed back in his chair, “I never lie, so the answer’s yes. Yeah, it did. No hassle whatsoever, what’s not to like?” His gaze locked in on you, “Until now, that is.”

You met his eyes, “And what’s different now?” “Maybe I want some strings. A little hassle, some consequences.” Laughing, you sipped your drink, “Really? I’m not sure you do.” He leant forward, “But I do, sweetheart. Because I want you.” You’d just taken another drink and nearly choked as you burst out laughing, “Oh Logan. No…. you don’t want me, you just want a quick fuck. And I’m not up for that in case you hadn’t noticed.” Logan looked offended for a second, then his usual confident look reappeared on his face. “How do you know what I want? If I wasn’t serious, why am I hanging around doing my best to win you over? I’ll be honest with you, I don’t usually need to try too hard, if at all.”

You burst out laughing, “Exactly my point! This is a novelty for you, that’s all. You’ll soon tire of it when you don’t get anywhere and then off you’ll go to an easier lay.” He shook his head, “No, that’s not the case. And who says I won’t get anywhere? Once I set my heart on something, I’ll go all out till I get it. And right now, that means you, angel.” “I’m not a commodity, Logan! I’m not something to acquire and then move quickly on from.” A lazy smile graced his lips, “Oh I know you’re not, sweetheart, believe me. That’s my point. I’m not about to move on.”

You looked across at him sceptically, “Uh-huh. Sure you’re not, Logan.” He leant back in his chair once more, a seductive smile on his face and dark eyes boring into yours, “Okay, let me ask you something. Do you think I’m hot?” Hesitating, you stalled by picking up your glass but his hand landed on yours, stopping you from raising it to your lips. “Nah, no drinking till you answer me.” He says he never lies, you thought, and I don’t think he does so I’ll return the favour. “Okay… yes, I think you’re hot.” He nodded, looking too smug for your liking so you carried on, “But in saying that, I wouldn’t get involved with you because of your rep.”

He nodded once more, a little disappointment now evident, “Yeah, don’t worry! - I definitely got that vibe. But leaving that aside, if you didn’t know all about me and my rep, answer me this. Would you have slept with me if we’d gone out on a date?” You could feel your face heating up and giving you away, so you admitted, “Yes, I would have. You’re hot, Logan, like I said.”

A big grin on his face, he picked up his glass and held it out so you’d clink yours with his. “That’s all I wanted to hear, sweetheart. I’ve got something to work with now.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Back at the hotel, Logan walked you to your room and as you stopped outside your door, thanking him for a lovely evening, he suddenly slid a hand around the back of your neck and pulled you towards him. His mouth found yours and he kissed you, lazily, sensually. You felt yourself melting into it, you couldn’t help it. My god does he know how to kiss, screamed your brain.

His lips left yours and you heard him whisper next to your ear, “I’ll show you that I can be different, that I’m not an asshole.” Your hand was on his chest and you could feel his rapid heartbeat. Your own was mirroring it, and you almost caved right there and then.

He stepped back from you, a finger trailing along your jaw, “Sweet dreams, angel. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You watched him walk down the corridor to his own room, and knew you were feeling nothing but regret.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan flicked on the TV with the remote and lay back on his pillows, naked, lifting his glass of whiskey and sipping. He was slowly but surely knocking down those walls of hers, he could tell. He’d felt it when he kissed her, she’d relaxed against him and slid her hands onto his neck and chest.

He was really surprising himself, if he was being honest. Never would he have hung on this long before if someone wouldn’t put out. He supposed that was one big disadvantage of fucking all those hosts, they never said no. And let’s be truthful, in real life people didn’t say no to him either. So he’d never really had to handle rejection before (apart from in his relationship with his darling father of course, but that was a whole other story). He sipped again; perhaps this was why he’d fallen for this new, intriguing, beautiful woman. She told him ‘No’, she wasn’t interested in his status, his money or what she could gain from him either in self-publicity or luxurious celebrity lifestyle.

And that was refreshing. Very refreshing. He was going to carry on with his battle plan, he would not give up until he’d won this woman, this prize. And no, he wasn’t regarding her as an object to be won, like a huge teddy bear in a carnival sideshow. They’d spent a fantastic evening together and he was feeling more and more of a connection with her. He sensed that she had the power to make his life better, to care for him, to bring meaning to his existence. Which scared the fucking crap out of him but it was what it was. He couldn’t stop himself feeling that way, so he’d just go with the flow and see what happened.

He was getting hard thinking about her and his hand slid down onto his cock. ‘Mmm, yeah, a little attention’s required here’, he thought to himself. He began working himself, stroking and squeezing, and soon he was scrabbling for a tissue from the box next to him on the bedside table. He bunched it up around the head of his cock and not a moment too soon. With a loud groan, he came almost immediately into it, expertly catching all of his come in the tissue cocoon he’d created. He wiped the tip and then the rest of his length and screwed up the damp tissue, tossing it into the nearest bin before sighing and relaxing back on his pillows again.

That… helped, but it didn’t satisfy him. Not properly. He needed her for that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Lying awake, your mind was dwelling entirely on what you could have been doing if you’d invited Logan into your room, as you’d so nearly done. A vision of him on top of you, your legs wrapped round his hips. Or you on top of him, riding him like a pony. His hands on your hips, thrusting up into you, his face flushed and contorted with passion.

You shot up in bed. Okay, you were going to have to stop your brain from thinking. Not even wanting to touch yourself, you knew that wouldn’t do it for you when all you desired was Logan. Him. And that body of his.

A drink? Should you have a drink? It might help calm your restlessness. But to be honest, no - you knew it wouldn’t. There was only one thing which you knew would definitely help.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan was half-asleep, beginning to drift off into dreams of what he’d like to do to her if he ever got her into his bed. Dream Logan had just begun to lick her nipples when there was a knock at the door. What? Another knock, louder this time. He groggily realised that there was actually someone knocking and got up, grabbing his bathrobe from a chair and shrugging into it as he went to the door and opened it.

It was her. His dream woman. But in reality. Also dressed in a bathrobe and looking at him like he was an oasis in the desert.

She brushed past him and walked in, closing and locking the door behind her. Logan was truly dumbfounded by this turn of events. She stopped in front of him, untying the belt of his bathrobe a little, before lightly placing her hands on his chest. She gazed up into his wide and amazed eyes, playing with the hairs in between his pecs and running her fingers even further down to his money trail. His stomach muscles tensed involuntarily and then she was pushing him backwards, and when he reached the bed she shoved him hard.

Logan fell backwards onto it when the back of his knees hit the mattress, his feet still on the floor, longs legs bent, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at her in amazement. She reached for the belt of his robe again, kneeling down between his legs as she did so and his lips parted, his breath catching. Was she… was she really going to…? The belt fell loose and his robe fell open. She gazed with desire and appreciation at Logan’s erect length, then her fingers were on his tip. His hips jolted upwards and she began squeezing him and stroking her fingers round it, and he saw precum beginning to trickle out as he lay there watching her take him in hand. She gave him a sudden and extra firm squeeze while her other hand took hold of his balls and he yelped, like a damn dog.

Logan couldn’t believe he’d lost control of this situation, but it seemed that he absolutely had. He opened his mouth to speak, but she immediately put a finger to his lips.

“Not a word, Delos. Not one. Single. Fucking. Word.”

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(Not my GIF - credit to owner)

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@obscurilicious @theshadowkingsqueen

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#logan delos #logan delos x reader #ben barnes #logan delos fan fiction #logan delos imagine #logan delos fanfic

[princessofgayskull]

Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???

Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:

Me, reading this ask:

This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon. 

Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.

But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.

This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5. 

(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second) 

But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.

Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…

We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….

But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin. 

Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her. 

I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James. 

Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright. 

I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?” 

That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”

I think it’d look something like this. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048

what do you guys think?

quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.

#I am literally SHAKING as I post this you guys have no idea #like vibrating through a wall shaking #i've been working on this for like the past two months #and I know everyone wants cruel summer but my goblin brain is like #AHHHHHHHH WRITE A FOLKLORIAN AU FOR CATRA AND ADORA YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO #IT'S 23K WORDS NO ONE WILL NOTICE #this was supposed to go up with two parts but tbh with you guys i have high key been feeling when jenny slate said #'i don't get the love until something beautiful goes out' #please be gentle with me

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Chortle headlines, anyone?

This is hilarious to me, because I remember that episode of Question Team. I think it was filmed during Acaster's sort of lost years, between Cold Lasagne and Heckler's Welcome, when he quit social media and almost quit stand-up. He did this round on Question Team that, to be really honest, I didn't even find all that funny (I did enjoy a lot of Question Team, but it could be hit or miss as it changed every round, and I thought James' was a bit of a miss). But James got so excited during it, he kept repeating that he'd stopped enjoying comedy but this was great, it was the most fun he'd had doing comedy in ages. I kept thinking that the obvious assumption is he's saying that for a joke, doing a bit on a panel show, but it he was so committed to it, and it was so accurate to other stuff that Acaster was saying around that time (talking in interviews about being disillusioned with stand-up), that I wondered if he maybe he did actually mean it.

...Apparently he meant it. Enough to base a whole new show on it. Good for him, I guess. I don't intend to watch but I hope everyone involved has a good time.

Two pieces of great news, I look forward to the release of both these things. If anyone has not yet watched Cunk on Britain/Earth, go fix that immediately.

The sight of this picture (plus names beside it, since Fern Brady isn't in the picture) is the first thing that has ever, in my entire life, made me even slightly interested in watching a food-based TV show. Not interested enough so I actually will watch it, but still. Someone let me know if Adam Hills starts yelling at DO'D to take a cow apart at any point, and then I'll tune in.

Frankie mentioned in his latest newsletter that he'd be starting a podcast soon. I got excited about that, because I think The Promethiad is the best thing Frankie Boyle's ever done; I think he works best just on his own, talking into a recording device. So I did experience a very brief split second of disappointment when I saw the promised podcast is not that, it's a chat-based thing. Then I remembered that Susie McCabe is the best, and it can never be bad news if Frankie Boyle and Susie McCabe are going to talk to each other about anything at all and record that conversation. I also like that, as stated in the body of that article, it won't have any format points or anything. Just talking.

I like Christopher MacArthur-Boyd too. I recently watched his special and was slightly disappointed by the first half as I'd read a lot about how funny he was and thought it didn't quite meet expectations, but then the second half was better, and I think if I'd gone in with normal expectations I'd have thought it was great. Also, I think he might be one of those people whom I liked better than his comedy. As in, I didn't absolutely love his stand-up special, but I did really like him, just his general approach to things, so I'd be happy to listen to him talk some more about stuff.

I have already subscribed the podcast, first episode's supposed to be out next week.

You won't get me this time, Chortle, I will not be fooled again. It happened like four times in 2022-2023 that I'd see something about Jonathan Pie, think "Oh this looks interesting, someone known for being a creative and angry political comedian but I'd never heard of it before, I must look this guy up", then I do and remember it's Andrew Doyle from GB News, and then I forget about it and get interested again the next time I see it. Not this time! Go away!

I so often hear jokes making fun of "comedian wins major award for show in which said comedian complains about getting canceled". I hear those jokes so often than I should be sick of them by now, I should consider them trite and overdone. But I don't think they can get overdone when the absurdly over-the-top thing they're making fun of keeps unironically happening. Guess we'll have to keep the jokes going for a while longer.

Hello Edinburgh I am an artist may I have cheap accommodation?

Genuinely, though, this seems like a very good thing. Good for them. Also, I booked my Edinburgh accommodation in November and got pretty lucky to find a place at a fairly reasonable price, compared to the stuff I've read about how overpriced accomodation during the Edinburgh Festival is (not as cheap as the prices quoted in that article, but still, not bad).

There were also a bunch of headlines about Elis James and John Robins doing some new thing that I don't understand, I wish they would go the way of Frankie Boyle and just record themselves talking with no plan.

[thedamageofherdays]

This is my first weekly reading log. I've been reading some incredibly lovely fics so I figured why not share that excitement with others :) Just a little warning that most of the fics this week are explicit. My favourites are marked with 🌻

🌻 SPELEVINK by Ginny_Potter @hipsterdiva [Stucky, 9k, General]

Bucky’s back. He’s leaving me messages through IKEA plushies, Steve texts Sam. jesus christ, rogers, Sam texts back.

Or, Bucky lives in an IKEA Tiny Apartment, Steve is a dancing monkey once again, and somehow they find their way back to each other.

🌻 I Want To Teach You A Lesson In The Worst Kind Of Way by fandomfluffandfuck @fandomfluffandfuck [Stucky, 61k, Explicit]

Bucky is not an arts major, not even close. He's getting his master's in Biotechnology with dreams of going into the sort of half related medical field of biotechnology prosthetics, inspired by a childhood pet, a three legged cat called Alpine. However, the schooling system (one that normally he doesn't mind too much because he's that much of a nerd) demands that he take a variety of classes; even if they don't pertain towards his immediate interests. An art elective is one of those required unrelated classes. He's not interested.

Not yet anyway; whether he likes it or not he might end up discovering an interest in art. Or. At least an interest in the professor teaching the art credit fulfilling class as it pertains to his... non-school related interests...

i got it bad for you by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Evanstan RPF, 4k, Explicit]

“Yeah? Older?”

“Yeah yeah, just…I don’t know, the beard? This fucking hair? Just…I don’t know— older,” he manages to chuckle nervously, gasping into Chris’ mouth when their squirming leads their dicks into lining up beautifully. Seb aches, yearns, mouth watering as he mewls, both hands in Chris’ hair as he licks into Sebastian’s mouth.

And then Chris pulls back, breathes hot on Sebastian’s cheek, his bottom lip, croons, “Like your Daddy?”

bet i look nice on you by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 1k, Explicit]

“C’mon, you said you wanted to feel, said you were up for a challenge,” Steve taunts lowly, peering up at Bucky from where he sits. “Daddy, want it. Daddy, wanna feel you for days,” he tacks on in a nasally exaggerated voice, one used with the full intention on making Bucky embarrassed, uncomfortable.

It works.

Aut Cum Scuto, Aut In Scuto by humapuma [Stucky, 33k, Explicit]

Bucky never thought he would find his Omega at just twenty-years-old. Mates usually found each other around twenty-two or twenty-three, so he was overjoyed to learn that their bond was so strong, they were drawn to one another early. Until Bucky's family attorney informed him that his Omega - Steve - was not only a long-time activist and a successful nurse, he was actually thirty-six.

Steve never thought he would find his Alpha. It had been more than ten years since they were supposed to come together, and he had long-since given up waiting. So, when a kid slammed into him on the street and tried to claim him, Steve was more than a little surprised.

Can these two overcome their differences, presumptions, and their pasts to find one another on the other side?

I didn't want the scars to show by Bittersweet_In_Boston [Stucky, 8k, Mature]

“This is Steve, one of my...co-workers,” Barton says teasingly. “Steve, this is James Barnes, the tattoo artist I was telling you about.”

Steve has heretofore been dumbstruck as he looks at James Barnes, because he is the most beautiful human Steve’s ever met, with the possible exception of Peggy 70 years ago. His long dark hair is pulled into a messy bun at the back of his head, and it frames the face of an angel, with a long-aquiline nose, a wide sensitive mouth, cheekbones to cry over, and a jawline that could kill at twenty paces, covered with a light layer of stubble.

And most importantly, large grey-blue eyes that light up and scan over Steve as Barnes shakes his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Steve,” he says in his husky voice, and this is where Steve has to remind himself how to be a functioning human being in a society.

“Good to meet you too, James,” Steve says, his voice only cracking a little. James’ hand is warm and strong and dry, and Steve could happily hold it forever. He does let go after a few seconds like a normal person, however.

“Bucky. Call me Bucky,” says James. “Everyone does.”

“OK...Bucky,” Steve says, and this time his voice behaves.

🌻 grassroots by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 11k, Explicit]

Bucky has been waiting for a moment like this.

Under the guise of a work trip, he joins Senator Rogers in New York City for his good friend Sam Wilson’s campaign fundraiser for Governor of New York. All that consumes Bucky’s mind at first is Steve’s insistence on sharing a room, a bed, so much so that he is caught entirely off guard by something much less conspicuous—one Steve Rogers back in Brooklyn.

In just two days Bucky learns more about Steve than he could have ever anticipated, and although it’s only forty-eight hours, it begins to shift their relationship, blind to the two of them. From stories about his mama to where to get the best pizza in the borough, Steve shares a side of himself with Bucky that few have ever been able to see before…

🌻 I Can't Do Everything (But I'll Do Anything For You) by Musette22 (with art from rufferto) @musette22 [Stucky, 24k, Explicit]

Steve Rogers cares about a lot of things, but dating isn’t one of them – much to his fellow Avengers’ bemusement. It’s just never been very high on his list of priorities, falling somewhere behind his work, his friends, his hobbies, and that excellent pepperoni pizza from Vinnie’s on Flatbush Ave.

That is until one night, Natasha drags Steve out to a charity music concert by some hotshot singer that Steve has never actually heard of (which would surprise exactly no one, seeing as Steve is still partial to his records and his radio plays). And as soon as Steve lays eyes on Grammy-award winning musician and international heartthrob James Barnes for the very first time, suddenly he wonders if maybe dating wouldn’t be so bad after all. Dating James Barnes, specifically, that is. The question is just: how does one go about that? Especially one like Steve, who’s never wooed anybody in his century-long life, let alone a man. Let alone a man with long, dark hair, tattoos all over his arms, and a fanbase that rivals Steve’s own.

It’s not like he can just go up to him and say something like, "You and me babe, how about it?"

#stucky #evanstan #fic rec #fic recs #reading log #r's reading log #my reading log