#i feel like i have been changed fundamentally

[nothorses]

What is your opinion on terf blocklists, where every one on there at the time had clear and intentional radfem beliefs pushing shitty ideas about trans people and easily identifiable as to what exactly they believe via what they say and circulate and who they constantly reblog shitty things about trans people from?

I promise this is a genuine good faith question; I want to understand if the thing I've been taught be others to do with the purported intention of eliminating platforms for terfs to protect ourselves and others is actually helpful or if that also has far reaching consequences I hadn't considered before. I'm trying to think about it but struggling with the idea I got taught to do them/follow them (blocklists) for being to identify correctly and block, not harass. But do the harms of encouraging that approach actually outweigh the benefits and that doesn't change even if the blocklist is for actual bigots?

Again, genuine question. Trying to learn.

I think the problem here is less in how a blocklist is constructed; it's not hard to imagine that a list can be made under strict enough criteria, with enough careful vetting, to contain only Genuinely Bad People- or at least people who would not object to being placed in the category of that list. It's also not hard to come up with categories of people that feel morally reprehensible enough, and unattached from any marginalized identity enough, to be "safe" to target: it would be absurd to argue against a "Nazi blocklist" that contains only self-proclaimed Nazis.

The problem also isn't really in how blocklists are intended to be used; it's pretty fair that someone might want a list of people to block pre-emptively in order to avoid harassment, particularly when that harassment is bigoted. It's not hard to imagine that someone making such a list is doing so with the intent that it only be used for blocking, and that they might even make an effort to say as much in the post. And at that point, is it really their fault if someone goes against their clearly-stated wishes?

The problem is that a blocklist is, by fundamental design, "free research". It's put forth entirely so other people do not have to do their own research, which means the entire premise discourages people from doing that research.

You aren't offering up a list of people that others should go look into and form their own opinion about, you're offering up a list of people you already did the research on so people can copy/paste and be done with it. It would be counterproductive- and frankly silly- to post a blocklist with some "but make sure to double check these yourself!" disclaimer, because like, that's not the point of the list. Nobody is going to do that. Even if they did, they're looking into these people under the assumption that there is something to find; everything is going to look suspicious in a way it never would have without that framing.

The question isn't whether a blocklist can be made with good intentions and due diligence; the question is whether it can be made with ill intent or sloppy execution, whether anyone can tell the difference, how likely they are to actually check, what you're doing with that list, and what impact your choices have.

If I make a list, the message I send is, "you can trust me. I did the research, I did it right, and this is a Good Blocklist. If you trust me, you should trust this list."

If I reblog a blocklist, the message I send is, "I trust this list. I may have even checked it myself. This is a Good Blocklist. If you trust me, you should trust this list."

The majority of the people who follow me probably believe they can trust me to some extent; oftentimes, people just trust that whatever is on their dashboard is trustworthy, because someone they follow put it there. Those are their friends, and their friends are trustworthy!

This should make you nervous. You should not be comfortable with this. People make mistakes all the time, and even if they did do the research (it's so much more likely that they did not, especially if they're not the original creator), someone else's standards of what kind of person "deserves" to be on a list like that are very likely different from your's. Are you going to double check every single name on that list yourself?

Well, if the accusation is bad enough, probably not. Especially if the accusation is something like "Nazi" or "TERF". And if you do start checking, how likely are you to check every single name? If the first 3 or 5 seem to check out, will you bother with the other 50 on the list?

What if OP hid someone in that list who doesn't belong there; someone they just have a personal grudge against? What if OP defines "TERF" to mean "anyone I assume doesn't think trans women are the most oppressed", and after the first 15 actual TERFs, the list is just a bunch of transmascs- many of whom don't even disagree with OP in the first place? What if they define "TERF" to include anyone who has ever been a TERF, and one of the people on that list is a trans person that has been rumored- without any foundation or grain of truth whatsoever- to have once been a TERF?

Will you know? Will you check? Even if someone you trust reblogs it? Even if someone you trust made it?

A blocklist may not have the same kind of obviously punitive intent as a callout post does, but it's a tool from the same toolbox. People think callout posts are about "safety", too. Lots of people also think that about the criminal justice system, about prisons, about the death penalty.

The question is not whether that could be true, or whether there could be a world in which justice is administered correctly with these tools. The question is whether it could fail, and who it hurts when it does.

Who can abuse this system? How easy is it to do so? Who is most likely to be hurt; is it the intended target, or people who are already disempowered by our systems and society?

What is the best way to go about this?

Even done correctly, a blocklist is not the most effective tool here: people can remake their blogs, change urls, and often have sockpuppets ready to go anyway. The list is rendered useless and inert as soon as enough people change their strategies to evade it. A more effective tool is education; teaching people how to recognize a TERF, or TERF ideology, on their own. Teaching them why those ideas are problematic. Encouraging them to block and disengage, and teaching them why engaging is harmful and counterproductive. Talking about de-radicalization, cult recruitment and radicalization tactics, and how to fight this epidemic.

Telling people what to think does not solve the problem, but teaching them how to be critical might.

[vidavalor]

But what if Azzy and Crowley aren't quite angel and demon any more but something else, and it's revealed when they pop their wings and they turn out to have changed to a sort of greyscale iridescence (light grey for A. and dark grey for C.)?????

Bold of you to assume that it's Az who is the light grey. 😉

Crowley has always been able to do his angel magic since he fell and Aziraphale's always been able to do temptations/possessions. They just didn't know it, it seems, until around 597 AD. I think the point might be more along the lines of all of them-- the angels, the demons, the humans-- are just beings.

We're all people. Call yourself what you like. Identify as you wish. You get to decide who you are and real freedom is getting to a point where you don't let someone else's definitions of who you are impact your own.

There's a moment of God's narration in S1 when Crowley is bringing baby Adam to Tadfield Manor and he is about to cross paths with Arthur Young. Their interaction sets off the series of miscommunications that result in the baby swap that night and sets the events of 11 years later into motion. God explains that (this is a little paraphrased) it helps to understand that, in human affairs, misunderstandings happen as a result not of people being fundamentally bad or fundamentally good but just as a result of people being human. She is narrating Crowley's story at the time and he is among the humans in the sequence whose miscommunications are impacting events. God is referring to Crowley as human in her narration, causing us to then consider what a human is just as much as what an angel or a demon is.

It makes you wonder if God views all of the beings on the show as fundamentally human-- which is quite different from how the angels and demons have been taught to view themselves, no?

Angels, demons, humans-- all just beings. Different from one another but with commonly held wants and needs. All God really wants is for everyone to have fun and take care of each other. Everything else is bullshit beings have made up to make everything more complicated and painful. God's favorites are the ones who question and work towards freedom and peace-- theirs and that of those around them.

'Demon' is a label The Metatron came up with to ostracize angels who rebelled. It's not really a thing. Many of the angels, though, don't live up to the label of 'angel.' It's all shades of moral grey. True evil exists-- Satan-- but that's not most of the demons, who are just actually basically the original anti-fascists. (Witness how much they all hate the Nazis in 1941.) Most of the demons are just the first free-thinkers while most of the angels are just repressed prisoners of the whole toxic system.

They all need some good music and a hot chocolate. I have the feeling that, at the end of the day, Crowley and Aziraphale could make their wings any colors they might like to, so long as they're of mind to do so. They likely can do anything they believe they can do.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens meta #aziracrow #good omens 2 #crowley #aziraphale

[deepsix-writing]

coming to terms with godhood.

(a jack nichols aka ‘eyeless jack’ story)

the birth of a god is a painful thing. it feels like dying, more than anything. you’d think, after people having worshipped deities for so long, they’d warn you about how excruciating it is to become one. but they don’t.

that was something jack nichols had learned through firsthand experience. recently, in fact. but the worst thing, for him, wasn’t learning to readjust; it felt like all of his senses had been fundamentally rearranged, but that wasn’t what bothered him most. what bothered him most was the trail of bodies it left in his wake.

“burn in hell. ALL of you.” he remembered the words birthing into the open air, but not saying them himself. but he did remember pulling the mask over his face, and he did remember leaving a bloody jenny to die in the forest alone. he remembered kicking away her pleading hands as they pawed at his ankle, her last chance of making contact with her reborn god. only it didn’t feel like jack’s voice, coming out of him. it came from some place far deeper than his chest, and it gushed from his lips like the tar that leaked from his eyes. when he finally scrambled back to civilization, hastily stuffing himself into the nearest gas station bathroom to avoid prying eyes, he puked his guts out. it was an ultimately futile attempt to get that noxious tar out of his body.

it was poisoning him, he was certain. it felt like it coated every inch of his insides, holding back the air in his lungs and turning the food in his stomach to bile. he didn’t want to look in the mirror. he didn’t want to see the state of himself, what those people had done to him, but he needed to know.

he wished he hadn’t looked. because when he did, he didn't recognize what he saw.

beneath the mask, crusted with black tar, festered two black pits where his eyes once were. he was mesmerized by the fact he wasn’t doubled over with the pain of it all. thinking about it, he was just as mesmerized by something else, too.

how am i able to see right now?

it was something that hadn’t even occurred to him until now.

sight of chernobog, some rogue thought interjected. then, it came back to him. that was what the cultists had said when they gouged out his eyes and replaced them with…

i should not be as calm as i am, reflecting on this.

jack never had been the emotional type, but this was really pushing it. it was like that tar that covered his insides had dampened his emotions, too.

...or maybe he was just denying himself the time to truly reflect on it. a part of him felt if he did that, he might never get back on his feet again. he’d curl up in a ball and crystalize, and years down the line he’d be nothing but dust.

jack didn’t want that. it was like the mountain climbers he’d read about in one of his medical textbooks. he just needed to learn to acclimate to the change in altitude. this could be okay.

how to acclimate, however… that was a tough one. he couldn’t do it around people though, he knew that much. he needed to be somewhere isolated, somewhere he could collect his thoughts and keep anyone else from getting—

go back to the college, his thoughts interjected again. you don’t know what its like to be truly alone. you don’t want that.

jack blinked, but shrugged it off. in the gas station bathroom’s sink he washed his hair, matted with blood, and made certain to wash off any blood that pooled on the porcelain when he was done. he took the mask, cast aside amidst his previous puking session, and slipped it back on. he slipped the hood of his jacket up over it to hide his wet hair, too, and took one final look in the mirror.

it was months from Halloween. there was no way anyone was going to look at him and think ‘yep, that’s normal’. in fact, jack was pretty sure he’d already gotten a horrified look from a lady filling up her tank before he’d darted into the bathroom.

his only hope was going to be finding somewhere secluded to figure all of this out. maybe, when all was said and done with, he could make up the assignments for the last of his classes online. he was pretty sure west point had a program for that.

his uncle had a cabin in some backwoods area nearby, he knew. jack remembered when he was a kid, him, his parents, and his cousins would all stay there during the holidays. his uncle had a different house he lived in, too, so chances were, the place was empty.

and, it was only a few dozen miles north, if he remembered correctly. he was on the track team back in high-school. it wouldn't be easy, but it would be managable.

it was the best shot he had at figuring this all out.

it would have to work.

whatever it was that had happened with the cult, whatever it was that they did to jack, it would all be a distant memory in a few years. it wouldn’t get in the way of his medical degree, and it sure as hell wouldn’t get in the way of his life.

right?

#writers on tumblr #creepypasta #crp #creepypasta fandom #eyeless jack #jack nyras #jack nichols #not really proofread #i wrote this for fun #not planning to take it anywhere unless people really like it

[goldenphoenix116]

i liked the nimona movie so i thought i'd read the graphic novel.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS NOT PREPARED

#words of the phoenix #nimona #HELP??? #ok first of all the ending broke me #like i knew the comic was darker but i didn't expect THIS #how do i recover from this #i feel like i have been changed fundamentally

[officialspec]

fjnished scavengers reign

it s good

#truly honestly genuinely feel like. fundamentally changed as a person #in a way no media has been able to do in a very long time #and i just have to live my life now????? what the FUCK #anyway watch this as soon as u are able i am so serious

[writhe]

i want to be more open to anything and everything and i’m scared

#i’ve just felt at a sort of breaking point for a few weeks #and it’s really hard it’s about a lot of stuff that feels hard to fully articulate #& i don’t really feel like i can talk to anyone fully about it because it’s hard #to describe the extent of constant grief & also like. neurotocisms that have woven their way into my understanding of like #*neuroticisms #my own fate fundamentally yknow #there have been many moments of beauty and stuff i feel my hand is still in the weave sometimes #but i really need some things to feel different and be different #i have lost so much and so many people the last few years and literally ALL of my relationships have changed #and i feel like i’m really searching for sometning that i lost #and i have been missing my mom #i lack any sense of deep comfort in my life and i want to just feel held and understood even for a moment #and i don’t feel like i have anyone to point me in a direction that i agree with it’s hard to know what to want and how to want it

[tennessoui]

I think I really lose braincells each time you post about couples counselling au - because I have never felt a characterization of Obi-Wan and Anakin fit *so much* to my own headcanon that it drives me crazy. The lack of communication? The desperate need to please (Anakin) the delusion of thinking you're giving someone complete access (Obi-Wan) while keeping them out. It is SO perfect, it's literally my favourite obikin fic, I am so invested in this au. The questions you have them answer at the end. When Obi-Wan said he's "happy to make the list as an obligation" because free time means a lot to an enslaved man. Kit. KIT *stick figure gore of me sinking my talons into your shoulders* When Anakin says he has nothing to hide from Obi-Wan but Obi-Wan never asks and he feels like he's getting away with something each time he learns something while Obi-Wan is like. He can ask me anything. KIT *BLOOD IN MY MOUTH*

ahhh thank you so much!!! i really love writing chapters and answering asks about this fic because i'm really attached to these versions of obi-wan and anakin like. their motivations are so interesting to me, especially at this part of the story, in the beginning, when all they are are motivations

anakin absolutely feels this need to please and be loved and the focus of his master's attentions. he also feels helpless in the face of thinking obi-wan will never let him in like that. he also is unhealthily controlling in small ways (checking and rechecking his closed door, for one, trying to have a say in what he eats out of concerns for his health) but he just loves him so much and he really experienced like.d devastation when obi-wan was temporarily dead that i feel like altered his motivations fundamentally, especially because he restarted his heart so.....probably a tiny part of him....illogically feels as if that's his heart now......

and obi-wan absolutely thinks he is so transparent for anakin!! he has let him in!!! more than he's ever let anyone in at all probably, but it's probably not that much. he's so practiced at keeping him out and hiding his real emotions that that's second nature. not to mention he feels betrayed in his own way at anakin marrying padmé --instead of just having an affair with her-- and he's trying to frantically detach himself before anakin leaves the order because he'll be devastated when that happens. not to mention he can also be shit at respecting boundaries (he reads the messages on anakin's phone when he's asleep)

and it's all just so interesting especially because there's so much narrative bias and just narrative inaccuracies where the narrator/POV character completely reads the other's reactions wrong, which makes the little questionnaire at the end have so much more weight because the counselor is 1000% right when she says that that's what's most important--how they feel about each other and their relationship after honest deliberation and reflection

#asks #couples counseling au #obikin #obviously i could talk about this forever too lmao #it's also been interesting writing so far because i don't want to imply that one character is wrong or not #like obi-wan isn't wrong to not want to share anything #but anakin isn't wrong to want more and to be worried about obi-wan's health #i dont think the projection of the story ends with obi-wan constantly volunteering information without being asked #because that doesn't feel like him #and it's ok to just not be that sort of person #it will involve them opening up clearer communications though #because that's healthy #but it's been a lot of thinking about ok #we don't want to magically change these two characters #or imply that to have a healthy relationship you have to fundamentally change yourself #but more like #if two people really want to be together because they're fucking insane about each other #how can we have that happen in the most healthiest way #etc etc #though to be clear i don't think they'll ever be completely healthy #like that would be a wittle bit boring in the end #but they'll be like. much better #started from the bottom now we're at 68 out of 100 on the healthiness scale #good job boys lets hit the showers

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups #and the later regrets of the parties involved #anyway. tell me not to text her #it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength #she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life #and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever #going to get back #and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔 #the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that #really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you #felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way #instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’ #and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out #so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃 #i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least #we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she #like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have #said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc. #it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me #and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person… #caseyposting

[doodledrawsthings]

Do you plan on there actually being a story for soss

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe, most likely a comic.

#I have been in a several months long episode of burnout which has fundamentally #changed my relationship to my enjoyment of making art #I’m mostly just trying to get that enjoyment back rn #I’ve been getting better I think #and I’m slowly slowly putting together what I might wanna do with soss together #but the motivation to start it is absolutely non existent rn #so for the time being I’m just trying to enjoy drawing stuff again and drawing for me #while exploring the characters before I get around to feeling like doing comics again #sorry to people looking forward to when I finally get my ass in gear and hunker down to make something #truth is I don’t know when I will actually do anything with soss IF I even get around to it by then #but right now I’m just trying to prioritize my brain and right now all my brain wants to do is draw loose pretty doodles of #my OC’s hanging out

[sailforvalinor]

Who doesn't like Edmund??????? HOW can they not like Edmund?????????? He's the best of the Bertrums!!!!

Well, to be fair, being the best of the Bertrams is not too difficult, lol.

But yes, a LOT of people dislike Edmund, like, probably the majority of the Austen community. I agree!!! It’s so frustrating!!!

Like, Darcy insulted Elizabeth’s family to her face and actively separated her sister from the man she loved, Captain Wentworth ignored Anne’s existence and courted other girls in front of her on purpose, Edward was engaged to another woman while courting Elinor, and we give them passes, but we come down so hard on Edmund for *checks notes* letting Mary ride on Fanny’s horse for too long.

Yes yes, obviously there was more to that incident, but the point still stands—Edmund has committed far less grievous mistakes than most Austen heroes, but he’s the most hated. Why is this??

There’s a couple reasons for this, I think: we never get to see him actually in love with Fanny, and, unlike most Austen heroes, he never gets to perform any sort of grand gesture to make amends for his mistakes. We know that he does fall in love with Fanny and that these amends must have been made (especially seeing how quick he is to apologize to Fanny when he realizes he's been neglecting her in other places in the novel), but Austen deliberately chooses to narrate these events without actually giving them to us directly. Admittedly, this frustrates me, but I understand why: Mansfield Park is not a love story. There is a romance in the story, but that isn't what the narrative is fundamentally concerned with--the narrative is fundamentally concerned with Fanny's development and strength of character independent of (you might even say in spite of) the other characters in the novel. Unlike Pride and Prejudice or Emma, Fanny's character development is not incited by the actions of the hero (which, to be clear, I don't have any issue with--Mansfield Park just has a different narrative formula). Fanny overall is what you might call a static character--not in the sense that she is not fleshed-out or well-developed, but in that she does not go through a lot of character change. Rather, instead of her arc being about changing to become a better person, her arc is about her struggle to remain the good person that she is in spite of outside pressure to change to become more like the rest of the world. (For a really good example of a static character arc, look no further than Captain America!) It's not that Fanny doesn't go through any character growth whatsoever, she definitely does, but this growth overall roots her more deeply into what she believed before, rather than inciting change. The more I think about it, actually, the more it seems like Mansfield Park is a typical "Austen" story told from the perspective of the love interest.

It is actually Edmund who goes through the more dynamic character arc that we associate with most protagonists--which is why I've been thinking for ages that a retelling of Mansfield Park from his perspective could be REALLY interesting. Because told from his perspective, Mansfield Park undoubtedly becomes a love story where it did not hold that status previously. And Edmund would make such a great protagonist!!! There is SO MUCH about his character that I find absolutely fascinating. He of course has a very strong moral compass, which is something I've always admired him for, and despite his attraction to Mary and delusion about her character, is never once even tempted to change his profession from a clergyman to earn Mary's love. We really don't give Edmund enough credit for coming out so well-adjusted and morally upright as he did, coming from a family like the Bertram's. He is also fundamentally very kind, but what's so interesting about him is that he is not, though he certainly tries, always the most attentive. He certainly never neglects Fanny on purpose and is horrified when he finds out that he has, but the fact still remains that he is not the most emotionally perceptive (I'm actually very tempted to draw some parallels between him and Catherine Morland here). Edmund possesses a lot of book-smarts, but is somewhat lacking in social intelligence--or, for lack of a better term, street-smarts. I don't know what textual evidence there is to support this, but I've always had the impression that up until the beginning of the novel, Edmund hadn't had much experience mingling in society, given how as soon as he finished college he was brought straight home to manage Sir Bertram's estate while he was away in Antigua. Regardless of whether or not this is actually the case, it's clear that Edmund is a terrible judge of character despite how morally upright he himself is, which is absolutely fascinating to me. (Again! Catherine parallels!!) Fanny makes a direct contrast to Edmund in this regard--she does not possess the same book knowledge or have the advantage of the education that he had, but she is, though unconsciously, the most emotionally intelligent person in the room and the best judge of character in the entire book.

It is this contrast, but with their shared beliefs about the world and what is right and good, that cements my belief in how well-suited they are for each other. Edmund does not challenge Fanny to change, but Fanny's steadfastness of character does motivate Edmund to change--when he realizes that she perceived what sort of person Henry Crawford was all along and that she was right to refuse him, it exposes to him just how blind he is to the character of others. Edmund basically goes through the same sort of arc that Austen's heroines go through, but this time the roles have been reversed! IT'S JUST SO COOL

Anyway, sorry for rambling. TL;DR, I'm not going to try to convince you that Edmund Bertram is on the same level as Mr. Knightley or Mr. Tilney, but PLEASE examine him critically before you write him off as trash, because he really isn't.

#blorbo from my regency novels #sorry this took so long i wanted to be able to give a full reply #i held myself back from giving my take on the edmund x mary shippers because that would've been a LOT #but suffice it to say i hate it given how much mary fundamentally disrespects his profession and therefore his goals in life #could she have changed her mind someday? maybe but it would take a lot of work #fanny is better for him in the end because their beliefs about the world are so aligned and she actually respects him as a person #which is. you know. why she's the one he ended up with #(also i feel like people would be MUCH more offended by her attacking ed's chosen profession if it were literally anything other than him #going into the clergy. just saying) #mansfield park #edmund bertram #fanny price #jane austen #edmund bertram defense squad

[fromtheseventhhell]

can I join in on the Jamie slander? because the way fandom lives up jamie’s ass has always annoyed me so much. people literally have more empathy for him than they have for dany and Arya it’s ridiculous and transparently misogynistic. the way fandom always sees Jamie as the victim of evil cersei who just needs the love of a good woman (usually Brienne but I’ve even seen him shipped with sansa) like last time I checked cersei didn’t force him to push a CHILD out of a window he did that of his own free will. jamie is a horrible person and if grrm lets him live to the end of the series I will be genuinely pissed. the number of people who think Jamie is on a “redemption arc” is ridiculous. also they think he has a redemption arc but also believe he’s the valonqar so how does that work? Jamie is going to redeem himself, kill cersei through into partner violence, and then marry Brienne and live happily ever after??? 🤮🤢🤮

Jamie slander is always welcome over here 🙏🏾

I think this summarizes my issues with Jaime's character; it's not so much how he's written, I do think his character is interesting, but the way he's treated by fandom is insufferable. Male characters are always given more sympathy and grace than female characters and it's frustrating to see the difference in how he (and other male characters) is treated vs. Dany, Arya, Cat, Cersei, Brienne, Asha, Sansa, etc. Every bad thing he's ever done is twisted to become a result of Cersei "manipulating" him and she gets demonized, when she really deserves the sympathy that he gets. His "redemption arc" is a joke and I'm convinced the only reason people think he has one is because they've personally forgiven his actions 🥴

#ask #anon #anti jaime stans #they're so annoying and I hate when Brienne gets drawn into their nonsense and used to demonize Cersei #Him pushing Bran and searching for Arya with the intent of harming her is just...ignored by fandom #not even defended or justified with logic people just outright ignore that those are things he's done #never mind how he knows about Jeyne being sold off to the Boltons and does nothing to help her #or how he threatens Edmure in AFFC or his general behavior in that book #like this man hasn't fundamentally changed or atoned at all #he feels certain ways about things that have personally effected him but outside of that he's still an asshole #he didn't even leave Cersei cause he realized she was a bad person he was just angry she was having sex with other men like! #If she had been willing to give him what he wanted his story would likely have gone a different direction #I hope he gets caught by Lady Stoneheart and hanged tbh 🙏🏾 #I doubt he's ending the books alive anyways

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors #infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like #he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in #black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression #but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience #plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns #Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me #like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions #he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self #righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand #saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault #but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up #I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me #you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his #head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead #to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home #like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol #also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate #when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man #it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through #these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted #fallout #fallout new vegas #Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant #I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished #ulysses fnv #fnv ulysses #lonesome road

[simcardiac-arrested]

once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc

#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level #i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20 #and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air #like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this #and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god #how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help #just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure #anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding #canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t #follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping. #and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art #i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it. #are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that #i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole #Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope #instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both #anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once #everyone else can fuck off

[leguin]

reblogged a post with this line (from marie howe's "the teacher") in february 2023 and said it was probably the question of the year...interesting to think back on now after feeling like some things have really settled into the best possible place w the 23 year old in the last week. i've been going back and forth on some things all year - what does it feel like to be in love vs not, does it matter, what are my motivations for doing x y or z, how do i feel about this or that, what does it mean to be happy and am i capable of actually feeling it, what does it mean to meet someone and have so many pieces of your life begin to revolve around them so quickly, and is that codependence or some kind of substitute for something, etc etc etc. basically just analyzed things to death and back over and over again every week of every month for nearly a year. weird bad times in a lot of ways, and i do feel kind of insane for it, but i finally concluded the other day that the semantics of all of it don't matter that much to me, and that some relationships and circumstances have multiple ways of being fulfilling, and the important thing is to pick a way and stop waffling and worrying about the others...

anyway i think this is probably the question of 2024 too, because i still haven't really answered it, but it feels much less fraught than it did a year ago. the feelings are separate from the actions, and the actions feel righter than ever.

#had a couple intense talks sunday that absolutely wouldn't have been possible a year ago and it was good but also my reaction monday was #that we need to go like. play air hockey and not almost cry in front of each other for like a month or two. #but it did actually like...idk. turns out some things actually fundamentally changed #the tone of this probably doesn't come across but i do feel really joyful reflecting on everything right now #a shift away from continually reblogging that lispector line about how painful love feels like happiness or whatever. #it's just good. we're important to each other and having that affirmed and finally getting that it's a level unlopsided importance has been #really...like the world shifted a little. i didn't really get it before #a tag

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

.

How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.

#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go. #blue chatter #it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in #and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be #I know. #I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been #it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up. #it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here. #and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling. #but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means. #‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’ #and I know it’s not that the church has changed #if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed. #but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life. #I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted. #God please help me. #I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mac i am so sorry to enter ur inbox with more qsmp but oh my god. qcellbit update. so he talked to bagi. his sister. he still doesn't remember her. he still needs time to process everything but she said she's waited fifteen years so she can wait a few more days. i'm crying and sobbing rn. also he doesn't even fucking remember what he did to get thrown in prison, all he knows is that he was killing people to survive one day and another he was behind bars. i'm UNWELL!!! he got called in to talk to cucurucho (the fuckin THING that's kind of the federation mascot and it tortured cellbit with a chainsaw months ago FUCK CUCURUCHO ALL MY HOMIES HATE CUCURUCHO) and he was just. fucking tired. yesterday he messed with the feds quite publicly and cucurucho questioned him about it and he said "i don't care what you do to me, you can torture me, i don't care. i just want my family back, i want a future with them. just give me peace. let me rest." HE SOUNDED SO FUCKING TIRED. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING UNTIL SOMEONE POSTED A TRANSLATION BUT HE SOUNDED SO SO SAD. AND NOW CELLBIT HIMSELF IS GOING TO TWITCHCON SO QCELLBIT IS TAKING A WEEK LONG DEPRESSION NAP. MAC CAN U HEAR ME. I'M UNWELL. I'M LOSING IT. THIS IS ME RN

anyway. hows ur day. i might go watch some steven universe bc i have been meaning 2 rewatch it (or adventure time!!!! one of the two for sure) take a short break from binge watching hannibal 2 watch a silly funny cartoon :3 also still trying to make my way thru marble hornets again it's just such an insane series 2 rewatch u know but i'm getting there!!! sorry i am just currently lying on the floor in my brain thinking about qsmp i had 2 tell u what happened 2 ur blorbo in law today

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ME ABOUT PUTTING STUFF IN MY INBOX I LOVE GETTING MAIL I LOVE LEARNING THROUGH OSMOSIS I LOVE LISTENING 2 PPL TALK ATBT THINGS THEY LOVE

that sounss aboslutely DEVASTATING btw. oh my god. so the whole thing is like.. she remembers him but he doesnt remember her ?? GODDDD thats so upsetting. im glad hes getting 2 take a nap even if it is a depression one sigh. oh man oh man i love this.

my day was! good i think! i have not had a day to reat since my whole job shadow debacle last week so im kimd of running on fumes BUT . i have off work tmw so im gonna get a haircut and feel all good about everything. and maybe work on some art bc im now caught up to my pre prepped invertober images and i have a couple other time sensitive things like that. ougah. we keep truckin. ive got a huge backlog of youtube videos to watch from last week + beginning of this week i cannot Wait to get thru those and also watch more adventure time !! bc i have offically gotten to Stakes (a marcelone centric mini series) and it is one of my favorite eras ever. i love you vampire lore!!!

#im like... skooo tired rn. i dont have ANY more words left in me. #but like i also dont want 2 sleep yet #i didnt shower this morning bc our gas lines have been down for like 3 days and we ran out of hot water #BUT theyre back up now. but also its like 11pm and my family is asleep and i dont want to wake them up #but i feel soooooo gross and greasy #+ my hair is at that point where its like. Uncomfortably Long. getting back into oh fuck i look like a girl territory. eugh #but its FINE bc im getting it CUT tomorrow. my favorite place had one (1) opening tomotrow afternoon so i snatched that shit up RIGHT away #uhhh what else. i watched some scary movies today those r always fun. #every day i yearn to be a) a man covered in blood or b) a vampire bite victim but like in a fun homoerotic way #those two things are not mutually exclusive but you know what i mean. i need 2 look like will graham #asks #friends!!! #anachronistic-falsehood #i am also revisiting an old blorbo rn and the nostalgia is hitting sooooo badly #i will not name this blorbo bc im not into public humiliation like that but ohh my god. favoritest guy ever. #fundamentally changed my life type character. #category 7 insane person moment. we stay silly !!! #im like. sooooo sleepy and rambly but also i feel a little bit like an oyster rn