#i feel i must apologize | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beelzzzebub · 8 months

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......ok........

i think my cicada rampage is over now

#i feel i must apologize #but those bad bug boys really got me motivated now #my reblog rampage is over but my excitement is not #i look at some bugs and now i feel an immense urge to make ungodly screeching noises of love and excitement because I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUC

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clownsuu · 1 year

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i do think it’s quite thoughtful that even though all your men are whores, you still don’t draw anything that would make clown uncomfortable. love the aus btw

There is a fine line between sus and normal stuff- it ain’t hard to be able to make conventionally attractive characters and not make them do anything spicy or even allude to it. There is like this weird expectation that if a character is very attractive, they must be a complete sus magnet LMAO

Though idk how (other) clown would feel that iv started the trend of their child Howdy being buff as shid JDHGDDHDJD-

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nekropsii · 1 year

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Let this be a living example that knowing the beliefs of any individual who wrote any piece of text- be it literature, articles, or posts- can and should drastically alter your perception on what the text is actually communicating, even if that knowledge has, on its face, changed none of the actual printed words. This is how application of real-world context works, and this is how it applies to any recorded medium.

It reminds me heavily of a quote from video essayist Jacob Geller, regarding the 1938 film Olympia- "It's different when Nazis do it". Olympia is a film that, on its face, simply depicts an artistic documentation of the 1936 Berlin Olympics. But within the context of its production taking place during the Nazi regime, with its director being a well known Nazi propagandist... The way the movie fixates on the power and elegance of the human form and Ancient Greek statues quickly shifts from being completely innocuous appreciation to the worship of what is perceived as the ideal forms of the "Aryan race". Suddenly, you understand the movie not to be a pretty inoffensive documentation of a historical event, but a propaganda piece.

Understanding the time period in which something was made, as well as the setting it was produced in/for, and whatever ideologies an artist may hold and experiences they've had is absolutely critical to getting a full understanding of anyone's work. There are some things that are near completely anodyne on their face, but the revelation of what the author thinks and feels about other people and the world around them totally redefines every word on the page.

This image is such a prime example of why context matters. This opinion, laid bare, stripped of context, is both inoffensive and nonsensical. No one's ever thought it to be lame to create your own nickname... But on its own, that's a harmless kind of wrong. ... But with the addition of them being marked as Anti-Trans (red) on Shinigami Eyes, a browser extension dedicated to crowdsourcing keeping track of Trans Friendly and Transphobic creators... Suddenly, "Nicknames" doesn't mean "Nicknames" anymore. Suddenly, you realize that "Nicknames" is code for "Chosen Names of Trans People". Suddenly this isn't about thinking choosing your own nickname is lame, this is about thinking that trans people shouldn't have the right to name themselves. Suddenly it's about invalidating identities, thinking they're worth mocking. Thinking that people who identify as trans are "just trying to be cool", and that they're not actually what they say they are, because you don't get to choose your gender nickname, that's something already decided for you.

Suddenly, you realize, it's not about "being lame".

It's about Transphobic Violence.

This is why you cannot ignore when an artist, author, essayist, developer, musician- so on and so forth- is bigoted. This is why you can't ignore the context behind their upbringing. This is why you can't ignore the context behind their lived experience, their ideals, their goals, their message. Yes, it may appear innocent on its face. Yes, it may look fine stripped from the context of it being written by an inevitably flawed human being. But what's really being said here? What do those words mean... To the one who wrote them?

Context redefines Text.

Even if the words didn't change.

#this post is a bit random. not apologizing. it was just such a perfect encapsulation #i am still tagging this as homestuck because this is ultimately EXACTLY how i feel about hussie + their works. you must understand this.#its so applicable to hussie + homestuck + analysis of homestuck that it is fucking painful. PLEASE understand this. PLEASEEEE #homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #andrew hussie #context #literary analysis #essay writing #cw nazi #cw transphobia #nekro.pdf #nekro.txt

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kiirotoao · 4 months

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Thoughts on Byler and pet names that I wanted to make a video on but ended up writing because they’re quite specific and frankly a little embarrassing to say aloud:

Baby: Mike uses this one when he’s in a very flirty mood. Will uses this teasingly and very sparingly.

Babe: Mike uses this all the time. Will uses it sometimes around the house.

Sweetie/Sweetheart: No. These are Joyce’s terms of endearment only.

Darling: Both use and don’t realize how often they do. They’ll readily deny using this one, but they love flirting with it.

(My) Dear: Both use this often. Mike uses it when he’s writing and/or being poetic (AKA cheesy and sappy) and Will uses it when he’s happy.

(My) Love: Both use this all the time. It makes them sound a little prosaic and cute at the same time, and they absolutely love it.

Handsome: Both use when flirting, so pretty often.

Hot Stuff: Only Will uses this one because he somehow makes it not sound overly-cheesy. Mike can pretty much only use this one ironically with finger guns and everything (Will finds it cute, though, so no losing with this one).

Cutie: Only Mike uses this one, usually when Will’s wearing a cute outfit or his hair is getting a little too long. When Will occasionally does use this one, Mike is left blushing out of his mind.

Lover Boy: Both use this one, usually when they very obviously want to get the other person to blush.

Angel: Too cheesy for them both. Maybe only when Mike is down bad.

Sunshine: Again, too cheesy, but Mike uses this sometimes first thing in the morning.

Casanova: Will uses this teasingly when Mike is being cute or romantic.

Prince Charming: Both use very rarely, maybe when the other is being, well, very charming.

Cuddle Bug: Mike used this one first and then Will picked up on it. Both sometimes use when they’re cuddling.

Sugar: No.

Pumpkin: No.

Honey: No. Maybe after a few years into their relationship? Maybe.

Bonus: Mike calls Will “O Great And Wise” and Will calls Mike “My Knight/My Knight In Shining Armor” sometimes, too ;)

ADD-ONS!!! TY GUYS IM. EVEN SOFTER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS FIRST MAKING THIS.

(My) Muse - credit to @holyvirgilscriptures: Both use very sweetly, especially when they’re in their craft (Will painting, Mike writing), another prosaic one that they absolutely adore.

Beautiful - credit to @camel-casing: Both use, mostly later in their relationship. I love picturing this one as another morning greeting along with sunshine, like, “morning, beautiful,” or just when they feel in love.

Pretty Boy - credit to @c4ntbr36th: Both use, mostly Mike, though, in my head. Sometimes they use this teasingly when the other is pointedly a mess (crazy bedhead, coming home super late and frazzled, etc.) or exceedingly well put-together and when they’re all-around smitten.

#Byler #I don’t call many things cringy but this I must say. feels kinda cringy to post lmao?#my apologies ahead of time #this was kinda a writing exercise to get some pet names cycling through #and I decided to share hehe #real talk though I love writing in pet names maybe too much #they’re sappy and in love how can I avoid them with Byler

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just-null-cult · 8 months

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i've always wanted to try out this trend! i didnt think i drew him that different. i was wrong. very wrong.

hes so baby girl in my style what the fuck. oh i know, i was just drawing what gege meant to draw. dw, i got his telepathic brainwaves 👍

[time lapse + my headcanons for Noritoshi's appearance under the cut]

some headcanons i have while drawing him are semi obvious while others are bc i like it ahehahhaheha

cupid's bow lips! this was semi inspired by Mizuki Umetsu, the actor for Noritoshi in the jjk stage play! hes so. pretty. perfect guy for the role imo! i was captivated therefore my views changed.

longer hair! the thought that his bangs(? are the same length, or longer, as the rest of his hair is nice.. it also makes his inevitable haircut much more refreshing! i also just like long hair and its a fucking waste not to do whatever the i want.

thicker brows and visible eyelashes! i naturally draw thicker eyebrows because it looks pretty, but the eyelashes is so fucking canon bro. dont even fight me on this, you'll lose. i read a fic about Noritoshi where it said he took good care of himself and his appearance inspired jealousy. that fucked me up man, so now i draw him as beautiful as i can.

monolids! I've looked through the manga and i think its highly implied that Noritoshi has monolids? yk those lines in between the eye and eyebrow, he doesnt have them in the manga. i thought it was because of the expressions he had, but no. the others have them, except geto! so geto also having monolids is so fr in my head. i like that feature abt him.

loose hairs! the hairs that i draw on his face. they make him look so cute and a bit more relaxed. he's not trying to be perfect nor have a single strand out of place. he's just a bit more at ease... though if there's something important he has to go through, he sharpens up. becomes.. stiffer?

I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE HIS CHEST LOOK A BIT BIGGER IN MY STYLE AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZE, BUT I'D BE A LIAR. DOES THIS COUNT AS A HEADCANON??? I JUST THINK... SINCE. YK. HES AN ARCHER. AND DOES TRAINING. AND COMBAT. AND DOES ALL THOSE HIGH JUMPS... HIS CHEST. ITD BE A BIT BIGGER FOR HIS STATURE.. omfg. that'd imply that his legs are fucking insane. and his arms too, since he has to pull back all those arrows so quickly.. oh my fuck. this. this is a revelation. what are you hiding under those robes noritoshi...???? one day.. one day we'll see...

oh my fucking god i forgot that i wrote shit while drawing. please ignore my fucking stupid writings AND THE STUPID ASS THING IN THE MIDDLE I FORGOT ABT WHILE DRAWING..

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #dawg my pc is so old. this drawing kept killing it off every few hrs #but nothing will stop my preaching of the gospel #ALSO I DIDNT SAY BUT DRAWING IN THE FUCKING ANIME STYLE WAS SO FUCKING TOUGH???#LIKE I FEEL LIKE IT LOOKS HALF ASSED BUT I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.#I STRUGGLED HARD BRO #FUCK #but i also learned a lot while doing it so it was hella fun #ahaha..... his lips are cupid's bow.. meaning his words are cupid's arrows.... meaning he could make you fall so hard istg #and hes an archer..... ahhaha... a nickname you could give him is cupid. ahahah. thatd be so cute. ahahaha <- insane #also me explaining fucking eyelid lines was spectacular. wheres my teaching license #AND I CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR THE STAGE PLAY DAWG. noritoshi's clothes flowy and in action..... im gonna study and fawn the FUCK out of that #as for the time lapse. ignore how i ignored the guidelines. why the fuck do i do that. bc im a cult leader thats why. dont question me #AND I APOLOGIZE FOR MY REVELATION AT THE END THERE. IM A DEGENERATE AT HEART. BUT I MUST REMAIN CLEAN. IF NOT TUMBLR GODS WILL KILL OUR CUL #but like i said i can be suggestive. heh. heh.#peep how i said [blank under the cut] heh. wow im such an online person.#oh how cool of me

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3-aem · 3 months

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i also don’t want to portray myself as faultless. my work isn’t ai and it isn’t copied. but nk will say i Had old pieces that were copied and referenced ai. Yet it isn’t good faith when i apologize, state how i took accountability, and explain thats definitely not the case today because i learned my lessons- to respond with well you made these mistakes in the past so how can i believe you, you are lying, and have not changed.

so i quit. how can i prove myself then besides what i mentioned in the last post. my question is will you even ALLOW me to prove myself. each time i must explain, i place a spotlight on something that was resolved agreeably with the artists, resolved by removing the works, and resolved within myself by learning from it. but by not saying something i also allow You to concoct narratives and have to watch people spread them around and come to me demanding apologies. it is a very uncomfortable very distressing process that has worn me down completely.

never mind that other artists who have copied have not nearly been requested to apologize as much as i have been. never mind that they were forgiven when they removed the works or even when they just say sorry and don’t remove the work at all. But you still choose to hound me afterwards for doing just that?

nk has stated that i have not fixed this. and that i must address it. how many times though? for how long also? who on this planet starts the conversation by recounting all their mistakes, especially when they know they are resolved.

i have had to learn my lessons through cruelty like yours. trust me its a trauma i have to bear and they are not lessons you then forget.

my anger and my feelings of defeat come from the fact that even after nk was still talking like i had not even attempted to make progress. just look at your tone here.

#im going to fking throw up this is the last time i will ever say this #do not come begging to be for another apology i am done #i will never address this issue again okay #i need to say this because no matter what when i see people supporting me now i feel guilty #i recognize it is just because i hate myself #it is because i havent accepted i made mistakes #but i cant accept it because people cant accept it #i cant accept it and i cant move on #and that is why i think its best to leave art #i cant make work i am proud of anymore #i dont want to list names of artists #but i will say that when king chris reposted my work without credit i viewed it the same as when i referenced other artists work #but there was no callout no request even from the comments for credit #and he has millions of followers #i felt like i could not stand up for myself because i have this history #because of this history i can never properly defend myself i feel i must always kneel to it #even though i have changed and realized i was wrong i still have to acknowledge it always

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potatobugz · 8 months

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well guys. youll never guess what I drew today

#lego monkie kid #lmk #potatart #syntax #huntsman #lmk syntax #lmk huntsman #huntsman lmk #syntax lmk #i feel the need to apologize but... ahh. i must resist. iam just having fun am i not #i do really like these characters

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maskyartist · 4 months

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I haven't been able to stop thinking about Clay getting stuck in his own head and thinking he's just hallucinating his brothers and Viva when they come to save him. I could see him even cowering away from them when he is finally freed from his prison, because he's so, so convinced that if he tries to touch one of them, his hand will pass through them like a ghost and he'll be thrown back into the reality of still being trapped and dying all alone in that bottle again.

SORRY I HAD TO POST THIS WITH SOMETHIN ALONGSIDE IT SO HERE HAVE BITTERSWEET-

“♫ Just let me take you to a~ ♫”

“♫ Better place~ ♫”

With one, final, harmonized note, the Diamond containers are filled with one final, bright light before they shatter, leaving each brother freed of their cages. Including the one trapped inside for months, who slowly makes his way to the floor.

Clay is transparent, white and cold, his body drained of talent as he hits the ground. Quickly, he’s surrounded by his brothers, panicked and frantic, and Viva, who holds his face with wide, teary eyes.

“Mr. Clay! I did it! I found your brothers, we can bring you home!” She cries, squeezing his cold cheeks before slipping her hands to one of his paws. “Please! Wake up!”

“Please, Clay…” Floyd pleads, attached to his left side next to Bruce, teary eyed and trying desperately not to let them spill. “I haven’t even gotten to hear you say hello…”

“You know you’re stronger then this, Clay, we all know you are.” Bruce mutters, a quiet anguish on his face.

“I-I built the bunker, Clay! Remember? The doodles?” Branch admits in desperation, reaching for his brother’s side with tears of his own barely held back. “There’s a reading corner, just for you. Plenty of books…”

John Dory has his spot next to Branch, taking his brother’s face in his hands, brows furrowed and mouth wobbly. “Clay…Clay, I’m so sorry. I forced you to be someone you weren’t for so long…” He whispers, gently running a thumb across his brother’s fuzzy cheek. “Please… You have to wake up. I need to make this right. You’re my little brother…I love you…”

And yet, all they’re met with…is silence.

Soul crushing, heart breaking-

“Mm…when’d you get sappy…John Dory?”

“CLAY?!”

“MR. CLAY!”

“You’re okay…! HE’S OKAY!”

As the brothers rush for their missing link, as Viva holds tight to Clay’s empty paw, as Poppy stands next to her boyfriend with tears of her own and a smile on her face, Clay blearily blinks away sleep and exhaustion as he stares up at the blurry faces of his brothers, his Queen…

A hiccup escapes him, before shaky arms cover his eyes. He can’t hear the joyous, slightly worried sounds of his name. Reassurance that they’re here, that his family is here again, that he wont be alone anymore.

If this is another dream, then please…

Please don’t wake him up ever again.

#masky gets the mail #crystal clay au #trolls dreamworks #trolls clay #trolls band together #I’m a believer in JD + Clay energy #like Floyd had Branch stuff Clay has JD yknow?#i feel like Clay was always a lil bit of a nerd but JD forced him to be the fun boy #even made him dye his hair to yellow instead of green #so when JD hears Clay was kidnapped n hears all this stuff about how he is from Viva n arguments with the bros #he knows he fucked up and he wants to make it right #meanwhile Clay knows he must be dreaming. when would JD apologize on purpose?#i don’t wanna tag all the brothers I feel bad >3>

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elitadream · 8 months

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Hey do you want another angsty scenario? Mario and Luigi get called off to another adventure while Peach stays back and watches the kingdom....except the brothers just don't come back. She sends out search parties, contacts other kingdoms, nothing. Did they die? Did they go back to Brooklyn? Did Mario abandon her for someone else? It keeps her up for weeks, months and absolutely wrecks her.

Omg... ;_;

I can picture what such an ending would be like. Months after having chosen to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom to start a new life there, the brothers would one day hear of a strange surge of energy being spotted near the oustkirts of the realm, causing a mild fright to the local fauna. Curious, they would decide to go and investigate.

"Are you sure you don't need me to accompany you?" Peach would ask, casting Mario an insistent glance.

"Not to worry, Princess! I'll watch over him," Luigi would chime in with a wink, ruffling his brother's hair on his way and hefting their toolbag over his shoulder. Mario would mutely follow, his gait however slightly more hesitant than usual.

"Be safe!" The Princess would call after them, feeling inexplicably unnerved at the sight of them leaving.

Mario would stop at the door, pausing to give her a reassuring smile. His deep blue eyes shimmering in the morning sun, his expression one of tender affection and gentle regard.

"We'll be back before you know it, I promise."

And with a small parting nod, he would turn and exit the front gate.

...That would be the last time Peach ever saw him.

No one had believed the magic portal would ever return. But it had. And with its final, abrupt vanishing, it had taken everything from her. 🥀

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nabwastaken · 3 months

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Hatchetfield characters ranked on how good they can cook. Discuss.

#starkid #hatchetverse #team starkid #hatchetfield universe #nerdy prudes must die #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday musical #nightmare time #no i will not apologize for putting dan in the top tier #that man is a malewife #donna can only cook soup #thats it #yes i did get lazy with the last tier #tier list #fandom tier list #hatchetfield headcanons #becky cooks for tom <3 #feel free to rb/ask me about my decisions and ill elaborate

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noodl3s4dayz · 10 days

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no mouth whiteboard scribbles :D

Bonus

#ihnmaims #ted ihnmaims #ellen ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #Worms #tw body horror #allied mastercomputer #God i want to do a comic about am’s prototype face where ted accidentally bolts his jaw shut and #Ah #im spoiling too much #Apologies #whiteboard fox #Tedellen #Also about the quote i made up i just feel like it would be something Ted (game ted at least) would say

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hephaestuscrew · 7 months

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I've been thinking again about Minkowski and Hera during the time when Eiffel was stranded on Lovelace's shuttle - about how Hera had gotten so used to monitoring Eiffel's wellbeing, and how Minkowski felt responsible for his safety, and how neither of them cope well with not knowing things they feel they ought to.

Perhaps one day Hera notices Minkowski reading the nutrition information on the back of the ration packs (the same kind as the ones that were on that shuttle). And Hera knows what Minkowski's doing, because she's been running the same calculations herself. Calories in one ration pack multiplied by number of ration packs on the shuttle, divide that by minimum calories required per day, add something on for the number of days survivable with no food at all...

Hera's got access to plenty of information about what the human body can survive, but there's too many variables here. How damaged is the shuttle? What's the temperature like? What's Eiffel's body weight? And there's too many horrible questions that Hera and Minkowski don't want to think about, and are unable to stop thinking about. How much will to live does Eiffel have? How long can a person hold onto hope in a situation like that?

Perhaps they each separately decide on an answer to their calculations, if only so they can pretend they know that he's currently still alive. But their mental countdowns tick down. And so maybe there comes a day when Hera glitches much more than usual. And maybe not long afterwards there comes a day when Minkowski can't seem to focus on anything at all. And maybe they talk about it, or maybe they don't. But either way, they both know that the other is thinking over the same question. And they are both hoping - more than anything - that the answer they've arrived at is incorrect. They are both hoping for an answer that seems impossible.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #I thought about writing this as an actual fic #but I know in my heart I'm not going to #so here's just a random sad post #Apologies #I go back and forth on how much I think Minkowski and Hera talked to each other about Eiffel during this time period #Like sometimes I believe they must have talked to each other a lot about how they felt about losing him #and about the memories they shared of him #because the alternative feels too bleak #But other times I acknowledge that neither of them are really winning any prizes for opening up about their feelings #Either way I think Minkowski and Hera did provide really important support to each other in this time #even if it was more unspoken #I think the way they had to rely on each other in this time really strengthened their bond #Also I couldn't be bothered to figure out actual numbers for how long it might have taken him to starve to death #Lazy research provides too broad a range of answers about that #and I know this doesn't acknowledge the cryo pod #but Minkowski and Hera might not even have had evidence that it was functioning #and they certainly didn't know whether he'd use it #Wolf 359 spoilers #w359 spoilers #the empty man posteth #Hera & Minkowski #Eiffel & Minkowski #Eiffel & Hera #tw starvation

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just-a-random-bakugo-stan · 2 months

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This will be the only time I talk about the Wilbur soot situation

Technoblade would be so disappointed

#wilbur soot #technoblade never dies #what the fuck #disappointed #i’m outraged #i’m actually crying #i’m so disappointed #what is wrong with him #I need to watch technoblades videos to cheer me up man #no but he never even apologized #I never expected him to be an abuser #Jesus I listened to his songs #bro how does Tommy feel about this ?#and Philza ?#SBI is not the same without technoblade #but now ?#god I can’t even imagine how hard this must be on Tommy

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muffinlance · 1 year

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All US books have shipped! International ones are in the works; they should all go out by next weekend.

#lessons learned from shipping No. 1: buy a label maker #No. 2: buy a label maker #No. 3: buy a--#fox's tongue and kirin's bone #let me know if you didn't get a tracking number #theoretically they should have been emailed to you but I have no clue how this looks on the customer end #also apologies to those two of you that I made labels for and voided them and made labels for like 20 times if you got emails that #must have been annoying #but hey guess who identified a glitch in the shipping website's programming that even support hadn't heard of yet! what fun!#it feels very strange to walk through my room without having to carefully navigate the Box Maze #was the floor always this large

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golvio · 1 year

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One of my biggest fears after being spoiled on the “Demon King” bit was that Demise had functionally replaced Ganondorf, but so far it seems like Ganondorf has not only yoinked the old codger’s title & estate from his surviving legitimate heirs but is now also using a little Zonai car to run over/back into his predecessor’s corpse a whole bunch of times by doing way cooler stuff with the role, which is both extremely in-character for Ganondorf and a huge relief for me.

#I apologize to any demise enjoyers out there but i must be honest about my personal feelings on the matter #totk thoughts #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom spoilers #legend of zelda #ganondorf

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dawnscales · 2 months

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I'm gonna start this post with: None Jews please do not answer the questions I am gonna ask, nor do I want your opinion on it .

But I figured I would ask jumblr because haha I am a bit in a predicament.

I probs should start with this info: I was born and raised for the first 7-8 years of my life in Israel. I never had any doubt that I am Jewish, not there at least. I wasn't raised conservative but rather reform but you know, major holidays were celebrated, shabbat was held. I felt safe and I felt Jewish. While I did grow up speaking 3 languages, Hebrew is my mother tongue and I was able to write and read just fine ( for an 8 year old !!)

My mother moved herself & I to the DACH region of Europe. There is a tiny community in this city but nobody who spoke Hebrew. I did however fly over to Israel bcs i still got my dad and siblings there. But... my school was extremely antisemitic. So I started to feel incredible shame for being Jewish. My teachers deliberately placed Exam dates on our major Holidays if they could. My mother became an absent mother and I just. Pushed that side of myself further away. To the point that the language escaped me and Judaism did too.

It has only been over the recent years that I grew proud of my heritage again and started to wear my Magen David. But I wanna also properly get back into practicing Judaism??

So like does anyone have tips on maybe good books for studying Hebrew?? I mean it still gotta be in my head somewhere. I usually can follow ppl speaking Hebrew rather fine, I just stutter the moment I am supposed to talk.

But also all the prayer books I find here are written in Hebrew and I guess I would need them either in Latin characters or in English/German. It's so hard to get my hands on anything Jewish here ...like how do I even start celebrating Shabbat again by myself, or major Holidays.... if anyone got tips for that I'd be super grateful,,,

#jumblr #judaism #viv's rambling thoughts #i need a book that is like Jewish culture & Judaism for dummies in the Diaspora #also Hebrew for dummies tbh #i also always feel like i must apologize for my past behavior but i didnt wanna go into massive details #just....the antisemitism here is super bad. verbal and physical abuse :')

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