#i fear I’m back for good now

[ato-dato]

They got me gal. They got me again.

#back when season 1 came out I couldn’t draw men let alone older ones but now I have just enough range for these idiots #I’m rewatching s1 at the moment and there’s a hyper fixation afoot I fear #prepare to be sick of me #anyway #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffible husbands #art #artwork #my art #fanart #digital art #drawing #aziracrow

[ghosts-cyphera]

hey it’s lo !! hi !! just quickly sliding in to say thank you to everyone who interacted with my post last night. I was really, really deep down in the pit and even though I wasn’t in any immediate danger, your love and help and support did get me through the night.

though I’m so, so incredibly sorry to see how many of you have struggled with suicidal thoughts, it also means a lot to see that I’m not alone with this. thank you so, so much for the reminder.

sending you all so incredibly much love right now, my darlings 💗 lo out !!

#today was easier! I had a dentist’s appointment that I had to get to in the morning and it was the first time in four weeks that I’d #-left the house by myself #I managed! I did really good actually. I didn’t get overwhelmed from being in the public #and I beat my fear of dentists and got my chipped filling filled back in :-) #then I went to tk maxx for some quick valentine’s shopping (because let’s be honest: w/ my track record I’m not leaving the house- #-before valentine’s lol) and treated myself to some chocolate cake and even started journaling today for the first time in many years! #heavily thanks to you all last night for your suggestions #anyhow !! I hope you’re all doing alright tonight. please know that every single ounce of my love is headed to you in 3-2-1 NOW #hopefully most of it reached itms destination and you feel a little bit warmer 💗 #lo talks #tw suicide #cw suicide

[minimoefoe]

X

#troy Otto #fear the walking dead #ftwd #ftwd spoilers #twd txt #I really haven’t put much thought #into the content of 8B #or what could happen #and what Troy is gonna be like or if they’re gonna massacre him and his character #bc every time I see his face I’m just like far too excited about him #being back #to give a fuck like !! #I’ll worry about what’s actually happening #when the eps start to air #for now imma just be excited #I also honestly have some (potentially misplaced) hope #that it’s gonna be really good #idk #a lot of ppl say that in s4 all the characters start acting ooc #and I really don’t see it #so maybe I just am not that good at noticing things like that idfk

[dirtbra1n]

good news everyone A) I’m alive and B) feeling sort of weird. which is promising

#Can we all more or less agree that between the two of them #miyano’s got prey animal rage and shirahama’s got predator animal fear #like can we agree on this. i’m sure the argument could go either way but what’s really critical to me—more than giving miyano the #well-deserved title of ‘predator animal’—is giving him . Rage #and naturally i like shirahama scared. i think it’s good for him #anyway turn that open sign ON baby i’m back in business…… Now get in the pit shirahama

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[sstvar]

ma there’s a weird fuckin cat outside

just some neat little anatomy things for my version of this guy :)

#he has spikes on his back that are actually more flexible than sharp #most of the time they lie flat on his back underneath clothing #he can move them at will #but if there are strong emotions going through his head then they pop up #like anger or fear but also extreme excitement #so it can be good or bad #the tail’s a constant thing too #anyways EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER 😭😭 so i can be more active here now #this isn’t that great because i’m exhausted but yk #it’s just a lil something #anya somewhere out there yelling rn. #batim au #crimson rites #batim #batdr #ink demon #ink bendy #the boogieman

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

hey friends is it normal to just feel. numb. because I think that maybe it is not. but what would I know anyway.

#really tho it’s like I can barely feel anything anymore. idk if it’s stress?? depression?? #the enormous weight of adult life suddenly and unexpectedly crashing down on me with the weight of the entire planet?? #I used to feel so *much* all the time and now I feel like I can barely feel anything at all… #and everyone around me is living life so much and I’m just here feeling like I can barely keep up with conversations as they’re happening #I’m tired… I feel like God is a far away idea that I’m struggling to hold onto… I feel like my mind is a bent and jumbled mess #like I grabbed hold of it and tried to crush it into the shape I thought it should be and now all I’ve got is a broken frame #I /know/ who I am and what I believe. I /know/ what my life is. but I don’t feel anything. #the only time I feel anything is sometimes when we’re singing at church I just cry at the sense of glory of something I can’t touch #and sometimes I shake with fear at the thought that I’ve ruined everything that could’ve ever been good about me #I’m oversharing on the internet again but I just don’t know what to do. I’m so tired. I want to see something beautiful and feel #the weight and glory of it again. but I feel like I can’t. all I feel is numbness. #I feel like I could sleep for months but every time I wake up I never feel refreshed. and I’ve been having bad dreams too. #adulthood kinda does suck can I please go back to being 5 #gurt says stuff #personal

[iero]

Every time I go on any kind of trip away from home, no matter how long it is, my fight or flight always kicks in the night before and I heavily debate on not even going at all. It’s a real problem.

#personal #I’ve lost so much money and missed out on so much fun because of this by the way. #Literally everything is paid for. I just have to pack and I’m sitting here like ‘Should I REALLY do this?’ #And of course I haven’t packed yet… #I would also like to reiterate that I’ve been to Pittsburgh (where I’m going) like a good 3-ish times now. #It’s not the fear of new experiences this time around. It’s the ‘Am I making the right choice financially?’ fear. #Because once I come back to this trip it’s right back to focusing on my teeth/health issues for possibly the rest of the year. #Like I’m NOT letting myself go on any kind of trips until my teeth are fixed and my anxiety is under control at LEAST. #Hoping I can do something in the fall time maybe but it wouldn’t be anything huge. Probably back to Pittsburgh again to be honest LMAO

[pwurrz]

childe always prided himself on his ability to maintain a proper, sophisticated composure. outside of battle, he was polite, respectful, formal. donning a mask of false calm had been a skill he acquired at a young age, so lessons in proper harbinger etiquette only reinforced habits he was already familiar with.

the only person who was easily able to break childe’s composure is zhongli.

the first time childe felt his mask slipping was when zhongli gave him an unexpected, heartfelt compliment. a simple confession of his feelings, from zhongli’s point of view. he admitted he enjoyed spending time with childe, and that childe brought joy and something to look forward to in his daily routine. how childe had become one of his dearest friends, and how he cherished that friendship.

for zhongli, he was just stating a fact. but for childe.. he felt his cheeks burning up, and for the first time in a long time he stuttered, floundering for a response while looking anywhere but in zhongli’s eyes. zhongli had laughed, not at him, but a soft, fond laugh, like he was pleased he made childe react in such a way. he made sure to say so, much to childe’s chagrin as the redness in his cheeks spread to the tips of his ears.

from that point on, childe decided it was ok if he relaxed around zhongli a bit. it was ok not to be so formal and proper all the time. zhongli was his ‘dear friend’, after all.

the second time zhongli made childe lose his composure was when he revealed he was the geo archon. when it was discovered that for the entire course of their relationship, zhongli had been lying to him. he had pretended to care for childe, pretended to befriend him, all to get childe to lower his guard. when childe found out he was nothing but a pawn to zhongli.

his heart ached and his eyes stung, self deprecating thoughts swimming frantically around in his mind. but he forced himself to push down his emotions, smothering them until he could barely feel anything. he didn’t need to embarrass himself in front of zhongli more than he already had. he could wait until he was in the privacy of his own home before breaking down.

zhongli ultimately didn’t give him the chance.

he knew it was wrong, to follow after childe and attempt to force a conversation between them so soon after his betrayal. but zhongli couldn’t stand to see childe so upset, heart hurting knowing he was the cause of childe’s pain. it was selfish, but he needed to correct his mistake, to apologize for hurting childe as soon as he could.

when he showed up on childe’s doorstep, zhongli had anticipated anger. he was prepared for yelling, for scathing words, even for childe to lash out physically.

what he wasn’t prepared for was childe’s anger quickly melting away, being replaced with round, wet eyes, shaky breaths and a quivering lip.

he definitely wasn’t prepared for tears.

“it’s kinda pathetic, isn’t it?” childe bit out, his efforts to hastily wipe his tears away and not let zhongli know he was crying in vain as his eyes quickly welled up again. “i’m supposed to be the tsarista’s fearless vanguard, but instead i got my heart broken because i fell for the cruel tricks of a god.”

no amount of desperately telling himself to keep it together could stop childe from breaking down at that moment. zhongli showing up at his door was like ripping a bandaid off a wound before it fully recovered, or pressing a fresh bruise. he couldn’t help but react to the emotions washing over him, waves of sadness and betrayal and heartbreak and embarrassment crashing into him like the waves that lap at liyue harbour.

once again, zhongli had made childe’s mask slip. once again, his words and actions had gotten under childe’s skin and made a place for themselves in childe’s heart. but unlike the first time, where his heart was full of giddiness and the shy and tender feeling of falling in love, now all childe was left with was a painful, empty feeling, and a persistent little voice that told him he should’ve expected this.

#ahahaaa i wanted to make childe cry so i did!! #even if i’m not good at writing crying #sorry to leave it angsty but i wrote about zhongli comforting childe and telling him his thoughts were lying to him #at the end of one of my other drabbles so i’d feel like i’m just repeating myself #but basically that’s what happens here #except zhongli feels super mega awful because now he knows what childe’s thinking #he knows how badly he hurt childe and how he shattered his trust #how childe felt like he shouldn’t have trusted zhongli but he couldn’t help it #and now that choice has come back to haunt him #and brought up awful memories and feelings from his childhood #because if even his parents couldn’t love him and were afraid of his how could he think zhongli would be any different #basically childe is having an awful fucking time and zhongli feels absolutely awful for causing it #but if he learned anything from the heart wrenching experience of watching childe break down and bare his heart #it’s how to comfort childe and what his deepest fears are #so yeah. now they can begin healing their relationship #slowly. gently. #PHEW UM ANYWAYS #zhongli ♡ #childe ♡ #zhongchi #tartali #zhongchi angst #tartali angst #zhongchi fanfic #tartali fic #mouser muses

[dogtiber]

Tiber had some really nice dog interactions this morning!

we met another whippet and I let him off lead in the public park for the first time!

Tiber was going absolutely berserk about having a friendly sighthound running circles around him and play bowing. I didn’t have his harness on him this morning, only his collar, and I couldn’t get him to calm down all the way and was worried he’d choke himself. he’s been getting to a good place with his recall lately and we’ve been discussing trying him off lead in the smaller quieter park anyway, and the other whippet seemed really well trained and responsive to her owner so I figured if I let him off he’d want to stick close to play with her.

he did really well! got some nice zoomies out and was really good about coming back to me. I usually ask him to tap his nose on my hand for recall and he was a little too distracted to follow through completely with that, but he was very very good about running by me to check in and reorienting towards me when called. I think we have a little more work to do, but I’m very proud of him!

I kept it short and got him back on leash once they were done running their circles.

a little later on our walk we ran into a very old lurcher. they both wanted to greet each other very badly, and Tiber was being very polite about it, so I walked him over. she was 14! he was very gentle with her, but was also play bouncing a lot lol just giving her some extra space when he did so. she bounced around back at him a little, but I think she was too old and wobbly to really go for it. but it was very cute watching them bounce at each other. her owners were very sweet and we chatted a bit and that was very nice.

and then we had a nice passing by greeting with a little daschund on the way home. as always with daschunds he was entirely enamored with her. they had a little cute happy sniff session.

those were the big exciting ones today, but he’s been doing better about dogs on our walks in general lately too! I’m very proud of him. I am thinking tho that I want to try to find some more opportunities to give him outlets for his dog friend excitement.

the other day, he was very good about waiting for the ok to go greet a little terrier-thing while we asked his owner if they could say hi. and he was being so self-disciplined but ALSO soooo excited. he literally plonked his ass down and just sat there vibrating in place until he could go up.

it was very funny and cute to witness and he’s being so good and trying so hard. but I’m worried he’s getting amped up too much trying to hold back and worried about him going over threshold? Idk I gotta see if I can find any info on excited reactivity I guess.

here he is passed out on the couch after exciting walk^^

#journal #tiber tag #definitely glad the circumstances lined up just right to try him off lead and it went well #not sure I would have done it if it were a sighthound lol #but they predictably just went in circles around us and then came back #he’s been very good recently #although firmly in his teenage phase #he’s like. it feels like he’s trying so hard to be good but is just often overwhelmed by his impulses #we’re thinking he may be in a puppy fear period as well right now? because he’s been a little more shy and skittish in certain situations #but overall he’s been so fantastic and sweet #I’ve been walking #him more and longer as well #which I think is massively helping #thank god for my med changes lining up right at this time to make that possible lol #I got back on stimulants for my adhd and it’s not *fixing* the fatigue #but it’s definitely so much much more manageable now that I’m not spending all my energy fighting my brain so much #*werent

[dollsuguru]

just thought of the premise for the professor!geto fic & i’m excited hehehehe <3

#i think it’s a unique premise! :p i’m excited to explore the story :’) #sukuna is included bc i love him he’s my bestie i love sukuna as a best friend in au’s so much 😭 #a bad bitch but also a nerd! blunt/takes no shit but is also v protective of you <333 #might work on this before catoru bc omfg……… catoru got me against the ropes……… fear i may just have to scrap & rewrite it all 😭 #cuz when i’m writing i notice that idk if i’m doing active or passive voice OR doing 1st/2nd/3rd person like girl what are yew doing rn #AND IT’S SOOOOO FKN BORING WHEN I DO DIALOGUE ESP BEFORE & AFTER like how many times can i say ‘nanami says’ ‘nanami exasperated’ etc… like #it’s so BORING no flavor i just forget how to explain things 😭 like how do i write that better/more engagingly??? 😭😭😭 #gonna have to learn that tbh #anywayz. prof!geto got the storyline/summary set i just need to write it now #maybe i’ll get back to catoru after writing some of prof!geto methinks i just need smthn else to work on #it’s all good practice anyways but i still wanna make it decent for whoever requested it 😭 #personal

[frecklystars]

god I really used to love my starlight so much. our anniversary would be — or is in two weeks. and i always feel hopeless and depressed when he enters my mind. I don’t go a day without thinking about my TF F/Os because I had that habit of thinking about them for 3 years straight. now it’s going to be 4 years, 1 whole year of having cptsd attacks and being triggered just looking at this fictional franchise. i used to love them so much. now I wish I never ever knew of their existence, then I never would have met my abuser and none of this would have ever happened to me

I love Barbie and Ken so damn much, but I am never going to love anyone the way I loved my robot F/Os and now they’re gone and my brain marks them as “unsafe” and marks *all* F/Os as “could be potentially unsafe. Barbie and Ken may love you now, but later they might become dangerous. You’ve learned that people you trust and love are going to hurt you and everyone you care about has bad intentions towards you. If it could happen with starscream, whom you loved more than anyone, then it’s gonna happen with Ken/Driver/Six/etc. you loved this F/O unconditionally and someone convinced you that you’re only lovable to them through violence and disrespect of boundaries to the point of feeling stalked. if this could make Starscream feel like a threat to you, when you felt 100% safe and secure with him at all times… well, just about anyone is a threat now. Nobody is ever fully safe for you” so wow it’s almost like I’m traumatized or something

and yet my brain won’t just put TF down and let me forget them entirely, they keep coming into my head and I keep mourning and grieving and crying and stress vomiting and UGH 😭😭😭 I wish I knew a way to heal but I don’t! know! how! And I can’t afford cptsd therapy any more than just once every couple of months so my healing progress with TF feels nonexistent.

and I’m scared I’ll never feel safe with ANY f/os ever again. not just TF. Like … I love Ken so much but I never feel 100% safe with him. or I might have days where I feel safe, but I don’t believe he loves me, I feel like I’m only lovable if I’m someone’s punching bag. god. I miss my old self, I can’t believe it’s been a year. This should have been 4 years of loving STSC but it’s just been a year of mourning everything I’ve ever lost

#stumbled on my old art where he’d say ‘I would never hurt you I love you so much’ #I miss believing that. my god. i miss myself. Jesus where did she go #I miss feeling safe with TF I miss my honeybee I miss my starlight I miss my sunshine I miss my knight #i miss my home. i miss feeling good looking at flower meadows. i miss watching princess movies for my AUs #I miss my red energon necklace … I miss… missing steve #I don’t even miss steve anymore I don’t feel anything at all #sucks I still can’t find the old art I’ve been digging to find lol. but god I drew so much starkeri didn’t I #I just wish I could look at or even think of a character. and not. shake. I’m so jittery and for what? #they used to feel safe and now I look at my old art where they’re holding me #and my brain is like ‘no they’d kill and abuse you etc etc’ #I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same again. i have never had F/Os be so tainted before in my life #I’m so relieved I have ken but I don’t know how long I’ll have him y’know. the hyperfixation I mean. #once I watch all the Ryan movies… that’s kind of it #then what. just go back to crying over STSC 15 times a day #ughhhhhhh #I don’t even know if I love STSC anymore I just fear him. like the love is gone. there’s no love left #it’s just fear and stress and stress vomiting #vent #delete later

[deityofhearts]

y’all know how you follow really cool ppl and it’s like “wow you’re so cool I hope you never follow me/we don’t become mutuals because you’d find out i am entirely uncool and unhinged”

#deity dialogue #beaming ‘please don’t scroll through my blog I am very mentally ill on main’ at the cool butch person I follow who has been in my notes #because I’m p sure that one of my beloved mutuals who is already aware I’m a pathetic puddle of a person is mutuals with them #but yeah it’s like. if people I find cool follow me or check out my blog I live in utter fear of them going ‘oh they’re like actually sad a #goodbye forever’ ahdjfjtkt #idk how sad and weird it is to admit that every day I sit here and wonder if a beloved mutual is finally gonna go ‘okay I’ve had enough of #fae’ and unfollow me #this is also why I take a while to follow ppl back because I need to see if I’ve scared ppl off yet #I keep saying I plan to be less unwell on main #rn I’m getting back into tagging my sad posts (divine despair if you don’t know is the tag to block) #tbh I’m also just trying to make this year better but god I am so sad all the time the despair is like Bad #but today was good! so no super sad posts!! #hhhhh what am I even talking abouttttt #anyways shout out to my beloved friends and mutual ilyyy hiii if you read this far wow #actually does anyone read my tags because I talk so much like I’m incapable of shutting up (it’s terminal I fear) #<- the words of someone who is aware they talk so much and hates it and has had people try to silence them (my family also hates that I tal #a lot and use to bribe me into shutting up) #I must shut up now goodbye #see this is why cool people can’t follow me like

[horsemage]

Jesus christ why do I feel so much like a hunted animal (<- knows exactly why)

#I feel like I haven’t had a proper break from my semester yet and I’m not going to get one anytime soon :/ #first I got food poisoning right before flying home and had to take my physics final on Xmas eve which I fully believe I failed #then I got an eye injury on new years eve and had to spend eight hours in a hospital about it followed by days of lying in a dark room with #only audiobooks for company because it hurt too much to do anything #and now on the tail end of that I’m flying out for almost a week to a conference I’m presenting at #and this entire time my parents are moving everything from our short term rental to a proper house #when I get back from the conference I have exactly a week before flying back to Philly to volunteer at another conference #and then the semester starts immediately afterward #I need to be put down for my own good I fear #if I don’t get to go to the beach alone for a week on spring break I’m going to snap I feel it in my soul

[goldkirk]

Here’s what I know.

1. I am not dead

2. I don’t need to suffer to justify being alive

3. I can’t save other people

4. I will always want to try

5. That’s not stupid of me

6. I have a responsibility to save myself

#I hate all of it #this is bullshit and I’m sick of being a human and life SUCKS when things are good and everything in my head is FUCKED #I’m preparing for battles that don’t happen and leave me feeling stupid #and never see the ones that DO come until they hit me #I’m not going back to Missouri for the holidays #it’s going to be a miserable round of guilt tripping for the next two months #UNLESS IT ISN’T #I tell people things for once #and then my family DOESN’T do what I JUST told someone they’ll do #and then I feel SO stupid. I hate this stage #I don’t know what to expect from may of them #they treat me like an outsider now but still are sweet and kind and include me and stuff #but they’re engaged in criticism and spiritual warfare and an anti-Katie’s-fallen-ways campaign behind my back with all the kids #because that’s what they did with me in regards to other relatives #UNLESS THEY AREN’T #I want nothing more than for them to change but if they change what the FUCK was all my suffering for? #if they change after all this time then why wasn’t I enough for them to change for when I was begging #and if they don’t change then my suffering and fears will be valid but we’ll also probably have two dead kids or at minimum estrangement #this is a mess but I also overcatastrophize EVERYTHING #which is leading to the 10 month journey of “Katie becoming the girl who cried wolf #…again #anyway whatever this is a weird week I’m kind of fucked up and need to go walk and think #I can’t feel anything but I feel /weird/ #you know?? #shh katie

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

sooooo……. there’s some ConversationTM* going around the theology (and adjacent) girlies tonight and it’s got me very intrigued—are there really more options than just Calvinist/Arminian?? bc I’ve always been raised with this idea that those are The Two Options regarding salvation theology and how exactly it all plays out. but apparently that’s…. not the case??

Iwill add that yes, Molinism is a thing that exists, and I know of exactly one guy who’s a theologian and philosopher and who believes in that lol. it’s not exactly a super common alternative to the others. and then I do believe Catholics have a slightly separate view as well, but I’m mainly just talking about soteriology within Protestant theology here anyway.

*(I won’t say ‘DiscourseTM’ bc that seems more antagonistic than what I’m seeing around here rn; everything seems to be in good faith and just for the sake of pointing out minor discrepancies atm)

#I will add that I’ve largely been raised in Baptist churches but my family is… not really that #we’re definitely a bit more wesleyanish in our theology #and that’s what I’ve always been taught at home from my own parents #but I definitely was also always under the impression (and I think my parents may be as well) that Calvinism/Arminianism is like. a binary. #you are one or the other. and there are levels within each. but there aren’t really any third options. all denominations trace back there. #(tbh this is a huge reason why I desperately wish I had been given better theological training when I was younger #because suddenly I’m an adult and quite set in my views and opinions theology and also have a long-standing Fite Me sort of mentality #towards Bible teachers in general due to some very unethical ones we encountered a Lot throughout my childhood #and a tendency to want to die on the smallest and most arbitrary theological hills imaginable #AND an extremely strong adherence to a set of theological tenets that… I am recently discovering possibly aren’t at all what the people who #taught them to me thought they were… #so like. now in a lot of ways it feels like I’m basically having to unlearn and relearn a bunch of extremely basic stuff about all this #while also dealing with the constant fear of ‘giving up’ and either leaving the faith entirely or embracing a completely foreign brand #that’s not at all what I was raised with and still do hold to be true and accurate and good) #gurt says stuff #theology #religon #christianity #faith #knitting circle