#anyways shout out to my beloved friends and mutual ilyyy hiii if you read this far wow

[deityofhearts]

y’all know how you follow really cool ppl and it’s like “wow you’re so cool I hope you never follow me/we don’t become mutuals because you’d find out i am entirely uncool and unhinged”

#deity dialogue #beaming ‘please don’t scroll through my blog I am very mentally ill on main’ at the cool butch person I follow who has been in my notes #because I’m p sure that one of my beloved mutuals who is already aware I’m a pathetic puddle of a person is mutuals with them #but yeah it’s like. if people I find cool follow me or check out my blog I live in utter fear of them going ‘oh they’re like actually sad a #goodbye forever’ ahdjfjtkt #idk how sad and weird it is to admit that every day I sit here and wonder if a beloved mutual is finally gonna go ‘okay I’ve had enough of #fae’ and unfollow me #this is also why I take a while to follow ppl back because I need to see if I’ve scared ppl off yet #I keep saying I plan to be less unwell on main #rn I’m getting back into tagging my sad posts (divine despair if you don’t know is the tag to block) #tbh I’m also just trying to make this year better but god I am so sad all the time the despair is like Bad #but today was good! so no super sad posts!! #hhhhh what am I even talking abouttttt #anyways shout out to my beloved friends and mutual ilyyy hiii if you read this far wow #actually does anyone read my tags because I talk so much like I’m incapable of shutting up (it’s terminal I fear) #<- the words of someone who is aware they talk so much and hates it and has had people try to silence them (my family also hates that I tal #a lot and use to bribe me into shutting up) #I must shut up now goodbye #see this is why cool people can’t follow me like