#i embarrass myself everyday 28 times

[ramspatula]

Arrowheads | Nya Smith x fem! reader

I believe that there are things out there that want to hurt me. Will hurt me. That’s a thought I can’t get to ever leave my head. But she calms them. Only her.

Next part, Masterlist

I had never been to Ninjago city. Cole said it was too unsafe. I was a musician. Well a songwriter. A ghostwriter to be specific. I get paid to not leave my room and write lyrics for some big artist or little artist to take credit for. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to perform but stages weren’t a place for me to be. The world scared me. People scared me. It requires so much effort to live in the world. Especially as a girl. I needed to look perfect, act perfect, be perfect. And I wasn’t. I had too many flaws to count. My wardrobe doesn’t have a new outfit for everyday. I own more pyjamas than clothes. I talk better in rhyming words on paper than I do to people.

I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t scared. I’m not now. But too many ghosts walk around outside for me to be comfortable. Not literally. That was years ago. And in stixx. And that was the last time I saw my brother. Granted, he was older. But after mom died and Dad drank himself into sobbing onto his music sheets, I thought we were closer. I understand he raised me. Not a job for a grieving 14 year old boy. Not a job for any teenager to be raising a horribly paranoid 8 year old. I was almost 9. Nether less, Children shouldn’t be raising children. I never got over that paranoia. It grew. It grows inside me even now. After the second round of snakes. Not the serpentine. The one who had fire powers. I covered my apartment windows in newspaper and bought 3 locks for my door. I called Cole in tears for over 4 hours. He didn’t pick up once. After all that, I got a message 4 days later, asking me if everything was okay. We called for 10 minutes before he had to go. He sounded tired and exhausted the whole time. Maybe I was too much. I had grown use to the thought he might resent me. That he wasted the rest of his youth raising me and comforting me through everything before Dad sent me to a programme in Jamankai for young music protégés after he had mailed in my notebook of lyrics and video recording of me playing various instruments and singing. All lessons he made me take. I was 11, almost 12. Cole was 18 and never came home after I left. The programme led to me getting in to a songwriting degree at 16. And last year I graduated. On the day of that snake attack. The fire one. Cole promised to be at my graduation just outside ninjago city. He lived there. He was the only reason I went. He promised to come on the stage with me if I needed him to. He didn’t turn up. Answered none of my calls. Until 4 days later with his infamous everything okay message. Later I got an ‘I’m sorry’. So a year later, I decided I’m tired. I would go to ninjago city. Talk to him myself. That’s what I was doing right now. I decided writing songs about reuniting and rebuilding relationships was not the therapeutic release I needed. It was to see my brother, now 28, as an adult, 21. I deserved to know why he treated me this way, I deserved to not be caged in my room. To see the world I feared so much. Even if the thought of the train ceiling collapsing in on me was the only thought I had right now. Luckily, the train wasn’t too busy but barely anyone lived in Jamankai these days. I might even see a ninja in ninjago. Or a dragon. I hope at least. As long as I am far away from wherever they are headed. I had his address, and I would be there, tonight! Maybe this afternoon if I sped walk.

I hate myself. This was an awful idea. He can hate me. I don’t care. I see a dragon and a ninja. And robots trying to kill me. Why did I do this? They may be on TV but that was close? Right? Ninjago city isn’t that big.

“Don’t look too worried darling, that was yesterday’s highlights. And about 50 minutes away from here.”

“Oh.” I said and walked away. I am utterly embarrassed. Why did I leave my room? Was he trying to be funny?

“Miss do you need a ride anywhere?” I looked back at him and continued walking. “No! It’s not like that! I’m Chen! I own a cab company- here’s my card-! There’s my company car-! I was just trying to do my job! I’m gay!”

“Oh, me too king.” I said and he nodded, with a smile.

“Actually?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay, well, front or back?” He asked and I looked at him weirdly before I realised he was talking about the car and not a weird way of asking me if I was a top or bottom.

“Front. I don’t like the back.” I said and he went to take my bag and I didn’t let him. The ratty bunny teddy I had since I was 2 was in clear view if I moved my jacket off the top and I couldn’t handle anyone seeing it. He nodded and just opened the passenger door for me.

“Where are you going?” Chen asked and I paused before telling him.

“Here.” I said and showed the address in my notes, he frowned before nodding.

“That’ll only cost a 20.” He said with a smile but I didn’t share it. Any money out was money I wouldn’t see again for a month. And I hadn’t paid my water yet.

We sat in silence whilst he played a long playlist of purely Azealia banks. I recognised some songs. And some lyrics. Although I’m sure I hadn’t wrote for her.

“Not much of a talker?” He said and I looked up at him.

“This is the first time I’ve left the house in 3 months.” I said and he nodded, surprisingly understanding.

“My mom had agoraphobia. I get it. I’m proud of you for even getting out at all. She hasn’t left the house in 4 years. The great devourer swallowed her coworkers in front of her and then when the time twins happened she got jumped by all those mini snakes and almost strangled to death so… I should not be telling you this!” I stared at him wide eyed.

“I think I might have agoraphobia…” I said and he nodded.

“Well… uhm. Just stay away from the main part of the city. It’s still pretty levelled from the sons of Garmadon but it’s every new villains favourite part. I’m taking you well out to the outskirts so… actually I’m surprised you even got a train into the city. It’s basically just forests and one blocked off area where a boarding school used to be but crumbled after the stone warriors.” Chen said and I nodded.

“So nothing that can kill me?” I said and he nodded.

“Nothing ever happens there. People don’t even call it part of ninjago city with how barren it is.” My nerves slowly calmed. Emphasis on slowly.

We parked in an empty car park with 3 beat, old cars and one truck that lucked equally beat. We both got out and Chen looked around calmly. Like he hadn’t been here in ages. I immediately called Cole. 1 ring. 2 rings. 3 rings. 4 rings. 5 rings. Voicemail. I sighed. Chen looked at me worriedly. Why would Cole give me a fake address? I sighed before debating to myself. I scrolled down. Well I didn’t have to. I only had 5 contacts. And two were my landlord and the building maintenance man. I tapped on the ‘Pearl (Cole’s girlfriend)’ contact. Were they even still together? I rung anyway. 1 ring, 2 rings, 3 wings…

“Hello?” She didn’t sound too happy.

“Uhm- hi… I’m uh-“ how the hell did I speak.

“Who is this?” She asked and I stuttered before getting my words out.

“I’m Y/n Brookstone. I’m Cole’s sister, he said he lives here but, I’m staring at an empty parking lot-“

“-Wait- Cole’s sister?!” She asked and I nodded.

“Yes, Y/n Brookstone, is this Pearl?” I asked and she took a moment before responding.

“Yes. What- sorry I didn’t catch your name, what was that?” She asked and I repeated myself again.

“Y/n Brookstone.” I said and I heard her sigh.

“That’s not Cole’s sister’s name.” She said and I froze. Yes it was?

“No, that’s my name- I have ID! I can prove it-!” I immediately defended.

“I don’t know what sick prank call this is- I get that his family are upset we didn’t invite them to the our wedding but this is- this is weird.” Pearl said and I froze.

“Cole’s married?” I asked and she sounded even more annoyed.

“Yes! To me! And if you were his sister you’d know my actual name and not just ‘Pearl’- anyone can know that!” She exclaimed and my insides tensed up. I didn’t want to argue with my brother’s apparent wife!

“That’s what he called you- he gave me your number! I have 5 contacts- I’ve tried calling him but he’s not answering-! Please! Is he there?!” I pleaded and she ignored me.

“5 contacts? That just gives burner phone! I don’t know you are- Cole’s sister’s name isn’t Y/n. And I’m not giving it to you! I’m going to block you.” She said and I let out an actual sob.

“No, please! I will send you my location! I am his sister! I don’t know what he said my name was but I wouldn’t have this address if it wasn’t me! He’s really big on privacy and security- you’d know that- but- please just let me talk to him. Is he there?!” I begged and I heard her scoff.

“No. I’m coming outside, and if you’re in that fucking parking lot-“ there was some commotion on the other line, “no it’s just some girl with a fake name, claiming to be Cole’s sister! She’s literally in the parking lot-!”

“End the call then.” It was another girl’s voice. She sounded very unbothered.

“No, please-! I’ve tried calling Cole- I wouldn’t bother you if I didn’t have to.” I said and she ignored me again.

“I’ll tell him you called.” She said.

“Just come outside- I can prove it-“ the line went dead. I stared at my phone in shock. Pearl already hated me and I hadn’t even met her yet. She made Cole so happy. And the one thing that makes him happy, hates me.

“Hey… do you have anywhere to stay?” Chen asked and I turned around quickly, I didn’t know he was still here. “I didn’t want to leave until I knew you were safe.” He said and I sobbed. He quickly hugged me and I held onto him. I had just met him and he was already comforting me.

“No…” i practically whispered.

“Are… are you- what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He asked and I had to look up to try and stop the tears.

“She hates me.” I said and he frowned.

“Who hates you?” He asked.

“My brother’s wife! And she makes him so happy- and I-“ he cut me off and separated from the hug.

“Well she sounds like an asshole then. C’mon, it’s starting to rain.” Chen said and we got back in the car.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

The monastery was unusually quiet. With the monks doing outdoors training, Wu’s barking orders couldn’t be heard. The monastery was, for once, all girls. And it was quiet. Misako was sat turning pages of her ancient scripture, Peach was nursing a headache that came from teaching over excited 6 year olds how to stay still for an hour, Cherry was busying herself trying to perfect her own nails. She had to give up getting her nails done after going into ninja-witness protections. Snowdrops was lingering somewhere in her own world of systems. Pixal was sentinel, probably with Snow in their world of digital beings. Pearl was stress-cooking, she had been thinking of the phone call since it had happened. And how she had been so rude and how the girl was so distressed.

“Try meditating, watching you stress like this is not helping my head.” Peach said, mug of some kind of tea pressed to her head.

“I’m sorry…” Pearl said but only stilled for a moment before pacing again. The curry she was making didn’t even get to bubble before it was being stirred again.

It went back to how it was, Peach had took to laying on the counter in this time. She still found it hard to sleep without Lloyd. Her dragon crooned lowly outside and she looked to the window where the eye of the dragon was visible. She smiled and the dragon raised its head again. Peace was nice. Quiet was nice. It was what everyone needed. But it never lasts long. Not in this home. To be a ninja was to be quieter than silence herself but to be a part of this family, was to be on the same volume level as a foghorn:

The bangs and clatter of ninjas coming home was undoubtedly recognisable. It was the same everytime. Groaning, complaining, whining, that all came from the men as they made their way to the living area. Pixal sprung to life again. Making Cherry jump and curse as she smudged her nails. Peach whined as she turned on her side. Pearl sighed as the familiar arms wrapped around her. She could almost ignore the grime and oder that came from the ninja when they had been on a three-week stake out. A kiss was placed on her temple and she smiled before the smell became too much and she pushed the large man off her.

“Smells good.” Cole said and she frowned.

“You don’t.” Pearl said which was backed up by Peach who made a noise of agreement.

“I’m talking about the food, you too.” He said and she smiled.

“It’s not done yet.” She said and smacked his hand that was reaching for the ladle. He laughed and put his hands up. Jay and Nya were next to come in. The recently separated fiancés were better than ever. Both relishing in not having to suffer their deteriorating relationship anymore and Nya’s confession. She wasn’t into men. Not anymore at least. She was ashamed it took her this long to realise that men were not it for her at all. Jay didn’t hold it against her. He took it better than anyone could. He loved Nya but even he could admit that their love for each other had changed. They were friends and they cared for each other. But not in the way they once had. It was refreshing to see both of them so free and happy even after a 3-week stake out.

“Who wants patrol tonight?” Cole asked to which the ninjas in the room groaned. “No one takes it, Lloyd will decide.” He added to which another groan followed.

“I’ll take it. I wasn’t really involved in that last fight.” Nya said to which they both thanked her.

“Did I just hear I don’t have to do patrol?” Kai asked, Zane in tow. Snowdrops physical form appeared to hug Zane in a way that no one was sure was possible with her form. Somehow physical but not?

“I don’t care as long as I’m not moving tonight.” Peach said.

“Well, you’re in luck! Lloyd stayed behind to check everything was still running smoothly! Won’t be back till tomorrow!” Cole said and Peach sighed.

“Perfect.” She said, unamused.

“Anything happen whilst we were gone?” Jay asked.

“Pearl’s been getting prank calls.” Peach said to which Pearl stiffened.

“What?” Cole laughed. Cherry swerved a kiss from Kai in his grimy state to which Kai reacted in outrage.

“You haven’t seen me in three weeks-“

“It was one, and some girl claiming to be your sister- she was outside and all. Used a fake name too-“ Pearl ranted and Cole froze.

“What-?” He said and Pearl nodded.

“I know-! But her name wasn’t Papita! It was some Y- thing, I can’t remember exactly-“ She said and Cole grabbed her, gently, by the shoulder.

“When was this?!” He questioned, alarm in his eyes.

“A couple hours ago- Cole!” He rushed out the room and the monastery. Pearl turned in shock.

“What just happened?!” Jay asked and Peach sighed.

“I think Pearl may have just left Cole’s sister out in the rain in a city she doesn’t live in.” Peach said, still unmoving.

“What?! Why would you do that?!” Jay asked.

“I didn’t know-! It wasn’t the name I was told-! Her name wasn’t Papita!” Pearl tried to defend herself.

“Oh my god- Papita is a nickname!” Jay said to which Pearl became speechless. “Her actual name is- uhm… Kai?!” Jay asked and Kai sighed.

“I met her a few years ago, it’s Y/n.” Kai said and Pearl’s hand found its way to her mouth, fast.

“Who’s Y/n?” Cherry asked.

“Cole’s sister.” Kai told her and she nodded.

“Where could she have gone?!” Pearl asked and turned immediately to Snowdrop and Zane.

“Her in-phone tracker says that she is in ninjago city.” Zane said and Pearl nodded, trying to process everything. How could she leave her sister-in-law out in the cold? What a great first impression.

“We have to find her!” Pearl said to which Peach finally sat up.

“This is bad.” Peach said and slid off the counter. “Let me know what happens.” She said, walking off and turning to the side to let Cole rush past on her out.

“My phone! Where’s my phone?!” Cole questioned.

“Bedside table!” Pearl said and followed him.

“I’m so sorry-! I didn’t know-“ Pearl apologised, frantically. Cole cursed at the dead phone and immediately put it on charge.

“She’s out there, all alone, in a city she doesn’t know-! This is all my fault! I should have been here.” Cole said, more to himself.

“You were on a mission-!” Pearl tried to justify but Cole ignored her.

“We were planning on coming home early- if I just hadn’t agreed to check out the east side-!” He cursed himself as he waited for the phone to have enough charge to turn back on.

“It’s my fault- I should’ve gone out there! I should’ve heard her out-!” Pearl said and Cole turned to her.

“Why didn’t you?” He asked.

“I don’t know- I just- with everything I thought it was what to do! I didn’t want to risk anything!” She said and Cole shook his head.

“How do you not know your sister-in-law’s name!” Cole asked and Pearl stumbled for an answer.

“You always call her Papita, I thought it was her name! I haven’t heard your call her anything else.” Pearl said and Cole sighed.

“It’s a nickname! It means little potato!” Cole said and Pearl shook her head.

“I’m sorry, I thought I was doing what’s right. Clearly, I wasn’t.” Pearl said and Cole sighed again. The phone lit up and he immediately unlocked it and scrolled to his contacts. Hitting one specific contact.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

Chen took me to some diner. It was near here and we were the only two there. He had ordered us some water and had been speaking with the man behind the bar for a very long time. I couldn’t believe what had happened. Giving me a fake address? His wife yelling at me? He’s clearly been hiding a lot from me. I wondered if Dad knew. Pearl said that his family knew but I didn’t? I was part of that family. I might have to call Dad.

I tried not to jump when the drinks got sat down in front of me. Chen smiles and I had only just noticed the man had followed.

“This is my boyfriend, Reece!” Chen said and I smiled.

“I’m Y/n.” I said and the man smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” He said, politely. I nodded.

“Anyway, we were just wondering if you had any plans tonight, anywhere to go?” Chen asked and I shook my head.

“I don’t have a ticket back to Jamankai for another couple days.” I said and they nodded.

“Want to stay at ours? Until then, hotels around here are quite expensive.” Reece asked and I looked at both of them before nodding.

“Please…” I said and they smiled.

“Our apartment is above the diner so, you can put your stuff up there if you want?” Chen asked and I took a moment to consider how dangerous this is. They were strangers. Gay. But still strangers. They could kill me. We’ve been here for 20 minutes and no one has come in the diner since we sat down.

“Okay…” I said and Reece smiled before leading me to a door around the side of the kitchen which just led to a case of stairs. Reece unlocked the door and let me go through first.

“It’s not much but we don’t have much.” Reece said and I nodded. “The guest bedroom is this way!” He said, cheerily. He held the door open again for me and I looked around the room. There was a bed and a discarded vinyl player with some vinyls.

“There’s so many…” I said, not touching them, scared to get fingerprints on them.

“Oh yeah, Chen had a phase of being really into Jazz. Can you tell he was a theatre kid? Anyway-! We keep them in here because we don’t really use it anymore.” Reece explained and I nodded before the Vinyl next to the player caught my attention.

‘Lou Brookstone’s classics’

I smiled. I hadn’t seen any of my Dad’s albums in a long time. I used to love them. When Cole left and I came home for a few years, my Dad and I bonded over music and his stories of his band and his few classical hits. That life had since been forgotten and now he was a vocalist trainer and a piano teacher. I’d never seen my Dad look so proud and happy as I did when I told him what I had chosen to do my degree in. Those years were still rough. Especially without Cole. Dad had finally started sobering more and had joined Alcoholics Anonymous. I went with him sometimes. He said I reminded him of my mother. One night he slipped and got drunk again, he called me Lilly. That was my mother’s name. I was gone the next day. I went to stay in the college dorms. I should call him. He wasn’t a bad father. At least, he never had bad intent and he tries now. He sends me random musician’s biographies with notes and tags all over it for me to read and maybe gain inspiration.

“I’m going to call my Dad.” I said and Reece nodded.

“Was he a big fan of Jazz too?” He asked and I smiled.

“He’s Lou Brookstone.” I said and he gasped before nodding and walking away.

1 ring- line connected.

“Hello mon chou, it’s lovely to hear from you. Is everything alright?” His words were sincere.

“Hey… I’m in ninjago city.” I said and he made a noise of concern.

“Oh, that’s rather spontaneous.” He said and I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see it.

“I know… I came to see Cole.” I said.

“Ah, I see. How is he? I haven’t heard from him since he told me he married that girlfriend of his. Pearl. Very fierce woman, have you met her?” Dad asked and I paused for a moment. “Mon chou?”

“Uhm, not officially. He wasn’t home and I only spoke to Pearl over the phone… I’m at a friend’s house.” I said and he made a teasing noise.

“A girl friend’s house?” He asked and I felt my cheeks heat up.

“No… they’re guys. And gay.” I added quickly before he freaked.

“Okay… is everything alright? You don’t usually call me like this.” Dad pointed out and I sighed.

“I didn’t know Cole was married… and Pearl didn’t know who I was.” I said and he went silent.

“Your brother didn’t tell you? He- he said you and Pearl were going to meet a long time ago. At your graduation?” He pointed out and I tried not to cry.

“Cole didn’t come to my graduation. Neither did Pearl… you had food poisoning from that salmon place.” I said and he sighed.

“I’m sure your brother didn’t leave you for no reason… his job requires him to be on call at all times, you know that.” Dad told me and I shook my head.

“I don’t even know what Cole does other than security.” I said and he sighed.

“I see… well, I’m sure your brother will contact you soon. He’s not one to leave you worrying.” Dad said and I nodded.

“Okay, love you.” I said and I heard Dad chuckle.

“I love you too, mon chou.” The phone line disconnected and I sighed. I stared out the window for a while until a blue, massive dragon flew past it and made me scream. On the back of it, sat the water ninja. 4 more dragons followed and I couldn’t help the way my breathing sped up. I thought the ninja would be more in the main part of the city? I pulled out my headphones quickly and shut the door that had no lock. I wedged my bag between the door and the wardrobe so no one would be able to get in. I put my headphones in quickly before laying back down.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

My phone buzzing made me open my eyes and freeze. I slowly raised my phone to look at the contact. Cole. I debated answering it. I really did. But then I remembered why I had came here in the first place.

“Hello?” I said and I heard a sigh of relief.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m- I was at work! I didn’t have my phone on me- are you okay?!” He asked and I paused.

“Yes.” I said, simply.

“Okay that’s good, where are you?! Ninjago city really isn’t the safest place, Papita.” Cole said and I took a deep breath in. Clearly.

“I’m at a friend’s.” I said and he went silent.

“Friend, what friend?” Cole asked and I paused.

“Chen and Reece.” I said and he didn’t sound happy.

“I’ve never heard of them- you’ve never told me anything about them.” Cole said and I looked out the window.

“I met them today.” I said and he made a noise of distress.

“Today?! And you’re staying there?!” He asked and I hummed in agreement. “Y/n, this is… that’s not safe. I’ll pick you up, see if we can find a hotel or I can see if I can clean up a room here- just-“

“I’m okay here. They’re nice.” I said and he started to sound annoyed.

“It doesn’t matter if they’re nice, you don’t know them!” He exclaimed and I laid back down. “They could be hiding anything from you!”

“Why didn’t you tell me you got married?” I asked and he went silent. “I’m not a kid anymore, Cole. You don’t have to protect me anymore. You don’t have to hide anything from me.” I said and he sighed.

“It’s not like that… I honestly forgot. It wasn’t like a ceremony or anything, we exchanged rings, we haven’t signed any papers yet! Just in traditional terms, we are married.” He said and I sighed.

“This is the first time I’ve left the house in 3 months.” I admitted and I heard his breath hitch.

“You don’t call, you don’t message and if I get a reply sometimes it’s not for months.” I said and he sounded even more stressed.

“It’s my job-! Sometimes I’m gone for months! I don’t mean to-! I’d love to see you again! See you more even!” He said and I looked to the street outside. That noodle stand looked really good.

“I haven’t seen you for 4 years. You’re like a ghost, Cole.” I said and Cole sighed.

“Can I please come and pick you up?” He asked but I ignored him.

“Why would you give me a fake address?” I asked.

“It wasn’t fake-! You have to go into the forest-!”

“Why didn’t Pearl know my actual name? Why don’t I know hers?” I questioned.

“I don’t know- I thought you both knew! I was wrong, okay! I want you both to meet. I want to see you. I want to know you’re safe. Let me pick you up.” He pleaded.

“I’ll message you my address tomorrow. If you’re not there, I’m going home and not my house! I’m moving back in with Dad.” I said and I heard the way Cole took a sharp breath in.

“Okay, fair enough. Send me it tonight and I’ll be there by 9am latest.” He said and I nodded.

“Fine…” it went awkwardly silent.

“Love you, Flump.”

“Bye.” I hated that nickname. I hung up the phone and rubbed my temples. I could smell that noodle stand. I’m getting it. With the last of my confidence, I will get it.

The noodle stand was actually further than it looked. And I chose a horrible time to go. It was getting dark, really dark, and the line was going down very slowly. Finally it was my turn.

“You’ll have to wait 10 minute, the next batch of noodles isn’t ready yet.” I nodded and sat on a bench. Directly under a street lamp. It was really dark now. And slowly getting colder. I looked up to see the man still stirring noodles and sighed. I looked up again to see him making a container for me and I shot up and watched as he put the sauce on top.

“4.65” He told me and I nodded.

“I’ll have what she’s having, it smells really good Pablo. I bet you can rival Chen’s noodles now.” That was a woman. I handed him the money and stepped to the side for her to move in. He put her noodles together quicker than I’d seen him server anyone. It wasn’t until I looked up did I notice that the woman was actually a ninja. She reached into one of the pouches on her gi.

“No! No! You know you don’t pay.” Pablo said and she shook her head.

“C’mon, I’ve been away for 3 weeks and I’m missing out on Pink’s curry which it really good. Let me pay.” She said and the guy shook his head.

“No. Payment comes in saving all our lives and the city.” He said and I didn’t want to interrupt them to tell them I had no chopsticks. So I decided to turn away and walk back home. Except I was more or less walking to the bench again. I wasn’t expecting her to sit next to me a couple moments later. I looked up in shock. This was a real life ninja. I met her eyes before she handed me a pair of chopsticks. I smiled in thanks.

“So what’s a pretty girl like you doing wandering the streets at night like this? Fella done you wrong? Or just hunger?” She asked, enthusiastically and I took a moment to respond. Perplexed that one- a woman was talking to me, two- a ninja was talking to me.

“Hunger… Fellas aren’t really my thing.” I said and she nodded.

“Me either. Well, not anymore.” She said and held her noddles up to cheers mine and I did it, awkwardly, but we did it. She chuckled. Before pulling her mask up and over mouth, I looked away quickly. She laughed. “Don’t worry, you won’t know who I am just from my mouth.”

“Okay… feels weird.” I said and she smiled. “Did you really call me pretty?” I asked, not sure what she had said as I was more in shock.

“Yes, or no- did it weird you out?” She asked and I smiled, shaking my head.

“No, it was nice.” I said the water ninja smiled.

“Then yes. And I’m serious.” She whispered the last part and I smiled harder.

“You’ve got pretty lips…” I said, hoping it didn’t sound weird or suggestive.

“Really? You from around here?” Fuck. It did sound suggestive.

“I’ve never been to ninjago before, I saw your dragon earlier… it was cool. Really scary- but cool.” I said and she smiled.

“Her name is Tidal. I can introduce you two if you want?” She asked and I shook my head.

“No, I don’t think I can handle meeting a dragon right now. Sorry” I said and she chuckled.

“No hard feelings. Dragons are intimidating, especially Peach’s dragon. Her dragon is massive! And powerful. Took down half an army of onis on her own with him.” She said and I nodded.

“I forgot about the Onis.” I said and the water ninja nodded.

“That was a tough fight.” She admitted. “Were you affected by them?” She asked and I shook my head.

“No, I live in Jamankai but I do have 3 locks on my door.” I said and she nodded.

“Not a bad idea.” She told me and I looked up at her. “I’m not going to lie to you, you should head home. Tonight’s quiet but this city is so unpredictable and I don’t think I’d be able to console myself if I heard that your pretty face got hurt.” She said and I flushed, warmth spread across my face and I just hoped she couldn’t tell how flustered I was as she pulled the bottom of her mask back down.

“I’m nearly done.” I said and she frowned.

“Wow, I should call you nibbles. You almost ate that quicker than me.” She joked and I smiled.

“I don’t think nibbles suits me then.” I said she tilted her head in thought.

“No, but dustbin isn’t as cute.” She said and I laughed, actually laughed.

“Okay, what can I call you then?” There was something so easy about talking to someone in a mask.

“Anything but squirt. My brother still calls me that and he’s almost 30.” She told me and I laughed.

“My brother calls me little potato and little cabbage.” I said and she laughed.

“What?!” She asked, amused.

“I refused to eat cabbage when I was younger so he started calling me that to spite me.” I said and she laughed again.

“My brother- fire- just calls every kid that. He still calls Green it.” She told me and I nodded.

“I’m done.” I announced and put my box in the bin.

“Hey, can I walk you home? It’d just make me feel more comfortable knowing you got home safe.” She said and I nodded.

“I’m staying right there!” I told her to which she frowned.

“The diner?” She asked.

“My friends own it, they live above it.” I said and she nodded.

We mainly walked in comfortable silence until we stopped outside the diner. The walk seemed longer, like we were both trying to stretch the moment.

“I guess I’ll see you around then, Nibbles.” The water ninja said to me and I smiled.

“See you later, squirter.” I said and she laughed.

“Squirter?!” She asked, dumbfounded.

“Because of the whole water thing…” I tried to explain before it hit me what is sounded like. “Oh no- not like that…” I tried to defend myself but she waved me off. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Just took me by surprise. Anyway, thank you for turning a boring patrol into a good night. I’ll be thinking of you and your cute face tonight.” She said and I smiled.

“Not that I could see your face, but you have a pretty mouth and eyes.” I said and she met my eyes. She looked smug. She winked and my face fell. This was real.

“Thank you, no one has ever said that before.” She said before disappearing into the dark alleys. Was that flirting? Did we flirt? Were we in love now? Why do I have the urge to ask her what we are?

“Did you just pull the water ninja?!” I heard a voice yell and I looked up to the see Reece and Chen, leaning out the window.

“Oh my god…” I said and rushed inside.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

It wasn’t unusual for Nya not to talk to anyone after patrol. It wasn’t unusual for most the ninja to be catching up on sleep at this time. However, it wasn’t usual for her to bump into Jay around the monastery. He was sat on the counter, bowl of cheerios in his hands. The box itself had a cartoon ninja on. She smiled as she went in pouring a bowl for herself.

“Long patrol?” He asked and she shook her head.

“No, quiet actually. Almost boring.” She said and he laughed.

“Almost?” Jay asked, hinting something in his voice.

“Do you think it’s too soon? I mean… we were together for so long. Do you think it’s too early to even think about moving on?” Nya asked and Jay shook his head.

“No, I think it’s good.” He admitted, to her surprise. “I loved you, I really did Nya and not to say that I don’t still love you but it’s different. When we were good, we were great but… you were never as into me as I was to you, and now we know why. I don’t hold it against you. You shouldn’t hold it against yourself. You shouldn’t hold it against me.” He told her and she sighed.

“I don’t know why I feel so guilty, I was never taught what I am is wrong.” Nya told him and he nodded.

“Buts it’s not what you expect, think of for yourself. You’ve never looked at me the way you look at a girl and thats okay. We can still love each other without having a romantic aspect of our relationship. We’re family here, let’s just be family.” Jay said and Nya smiled.

“You’d be alright if started seeing someone?” Nya asked and Jay smiled.

“What if I’m already seeing someone? Would you be okay?” He asked and she laughed.

“Really?” Jay shrugged.

“I might be.” He said and she smiled.

“What’s her name?” Nya asked and Jay shook his head.

“No! No I’m not doing this! Because once you know, Kai knows and then Cherry knows and if Cherry knows, everyone knows!” Jay exclaimed and Nya nodded.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I won’t ask again.” She said and Jay smiled.

“I think these cheerios are expired.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

“Okay I have to pick Y/n up in like 20 minutes, Papita, in case you don’t know her actual name.” Cole announced to the team and Pearl rolled her eyes. “When she gets here, we’ve gotta act normal.” He announced and everyone protested.

“She doesn’t know you’re a ninja?!” Peach’s voice came out on top.

“No, and I don’t plan on telling her today.” Cole said.

“Not telling someone you love you’re a ninja? That always ends well.” Cherry commented to which Kai frowned.

“Even if we all act normal, how’d you suppose we hide the prophecies engraved in the walls? The frames of all of us in our gi? The senseis? The monks? The weapons? My dragon?!” Peach asked to which the dragon himself growled from outside.

“Lloyd was right about not keeping a dragon that can’t disappear by the way.” Kai said.

“Apologise, he saved your life.” Peach said.

“I’m not apologising to a dragon!” Kai argued.

“Apologise!” Peach demanded.

“No!” Kai protested.

“Apologise or I’m not talking to you.” Peach said and Kai shrugged.

“Don’t then!” Peach crossed her arms and faced away. “You’re not serious.” He said but she ignored him.

“I’ll be back in half an hour.” Cole said and kissed Pearl’s cheek before leaving.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

“Thank you for letting me stay.” I said, turning go to both men as a battered truck, the one from the car park, parked itself outside.

“Anytime.” Chen said with a smile.

“Let us know if you need anything.” Reece said and I nodded before heading outside. I hadn’t seen him in years. Would he be mad? Upset? Annoyed that I even came here? I didn’t tell him, is that a problem?

Cole rushed out the truck and before I could even get a word out he pulled me into a tight hug, I returned it awkwardly before he looked me up and down.

“Have you grown or is it just me?” He asked to which I shrugged.

“I don’t think so.” He took my bag and smiled. I didn’t return it and just got in the car with him.

“I’ve uh- Pearl told me everything- Dad also rang me. She’s really sorry and he’s- he sounds good.” Cole said and I nodded.

“Are you?” I asked, he nodded.

“I was going to ask you that, are you serious about moving back in with Dad?” Cole asked and I shrugged.

“I can’t live alone anymore.” I admitted. “It’s getting worse.” I told him and he sighed.

“I’m sorry I can’t be closer.” He said and I nodded. But were you?

“Why… why can’t you?” I had to think about whether I wanted to know the answer.

“It’s… complicated. If that word even sums it up. My job is unconventional and- I’ll explain everything! -but it’s just hard to find the time to come back.” He said and I nodded.

“What is your job?” I asked as we stopped at a traffic light. He turned to look at me.

“To protect those who can’t protect themselves.” He told me and I paused. What the hell did that mean?

“What?” I asked and he laughed. “Are you a police officer?” I asked.

“No!” He laughed. “I’ll explain everything when we’re inside. The others have made it extremely clear that they won’t cover for me.” Cole said and I frowned.

“Cover what?” I asked.

“You’ll see.” He pulled into the abandoned parking lot where I had been the day before. When we got out he gestured for me to follow him into the forest.

A monastery. There was a monastery inside the forest. There were bald people outside doing chores. Monks. This place was massive. I followed Cole inside as the monks called him ‘master Cole’. It was an upgrade from McCole. Which was his nickname during his teenage years due to the fact he ordered McDonald’s almost everyday. He opened the door for me and let me walk beside him as we went down the long hallway. There were paintings on the wall and ceiling, massive paintings and it took seeing the painting of a gold figure fighting a black dragon with smoke coming off it to realise that they were paintings of the ninja and famous battles. They were murals not paintings. I looked down, not wanting to admit what might be happening here. We stopped at an archway. I looked up to see a small kitchen and then to the side and the bottom of the room was a massive living area with couches, a TV, a gaming console and many people. There was a couple on the couch, a brunette with very well styled hair and a very pretty girl whose own hair looked like it is being taken better care of than a newborn baby. There was another boy and girl on the couch although they were sat well apart with the ginger playing with a controller whilst the other girl, hair tied up high on her head as her bangs fell in front of her face, framing it perfectly. She wore a loose vest, showing off her sculpted arms and scattered tattoos. Mainly in the ancient language. That was hot. Reluctantly, I looked away from her to the two girls in the kitchen. One was eating a bowl of cereal whilst the other pulled out a tray of cookies from the other. The first girl had few scars lingering her bare arms and what looked to be a burn on her forearm and a scar on her exposed neck that looked like a bite mark. She might be a ninja. Somehow, her face remained untouched. The other girl slammed the tray down, making me jump and focus on her again. She was more dressed up than the others, well I think the girl with very nice hair was actually wearing a juicy tracksuit but she made it look like loungewear rather than an expensive tracksuit.

“How do you not burn them?!” The cookie girl complained.

“It’s only burnt on the corners.” The scarred girl said.

“You’d know all about being burnt.” The cookie girl insulted, the scarred girl hit her on the head lightly with her spoon. “Did you just get milk in my hair?!”

“I raised a dragon, what’s your excuse?” Scarred girl clapped back and Cole cleared his throat. Gaining everyone’s attention. Did she just say she raised a dragon?!

“This is Y/n, or Papita, as you may know her as.” I noticed how Cookie girl’s eyes hardened at Cole. The room went silent.

“Hi.” I said, awkwardly.

“Hey.” Scar girl said. Putting her bowl down and coming near me. “Nice to meet you.” She said.

“You too, what’s your name?” I asked. Was this Pearl? What would she do if she knew I called her scar girl in my head?!

“Everyone calls me Peach, nice to meet you Papita.” She said and I nodded.

“Y/n’s fine.” I said and she smiled.

“That’s Cherry, thats Pearl ,who you may know, and Snowdrops is around somewhere. She’s always around. You’ll catch on soon enough.” Peach winked but I didn’t catch on. Not yet at least. Was that not their actual names?

“So what’s your actual name?” I asked and she smiled, I heard Cole stifle his laugh.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She said and walked away. The man with very good hair spoke up and I turned to them. Cherry was the one with really good hair. I knew good hair guy. I had met him before.

“Kai, if you don’t remember. Blabber mouth here is Jay and that’s Nya, my sister. Zane is around somewhere and Pixal is out right now. Lloyd should be home soon.” Kai filled me in and I nodded.

“Hi.” I said again, trying to avoid Nya’s eyes. She was staring hard at me. I turned to face Cole again who smiled.

“As you can tell, we all live together and work together. Lloyd’s the leader, Peach is his wife-“ I looked to Peach and watched as she disappeared in a pink, purple and peach haze that I had only seen on the news before and with the peach ninja. She appeared on the counter again, no bowl in hand this time. “-she’s special.” Cole said and glared, my own mouth hung in shock.

“Don’t be mad because I showed my party trick.” She said and Pearl smiled in amusement. It started to click. It shouldn’t have took a blonde man practically shoving past us clad in green to be my final push to realise everything. He stunk and had dried blood and mud on him and in his hair, the green clothing had been torn in places. He had a dual katana holster strapped to his back with actual katanas sheathed in. The walls looked like they were coming closer. He needed that many weapons for a reason? Was there a threat?

He apologised as he slid past, not noticing my impending panic. He dapped up Cole and leaned in to kiss Peach who didn’t look pleased after. She actually frowned in disgust.

“I’ve missed you too.” He said at her face.

“When was the last time you brushed your teeth?” She asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it- who’s this?!” He asked, pointing to me. Oh my god. This isn’t happening.

“Lloyd, meet Papita, my sister.” Cole said and Lloyd nodded.

“Nice to meet you, sorry I’m all dirty and everything. 3 week stake out.” Lloyd said like I was supposed to know what that meant. “Being a ninja is a lot less cleaner than you’d think.” He tried to joke but I’m pretty sure I had the thousand yard stare right now. Suddenly the green costume with katanas made sense. It wasn’t a costume. It was gi. A green gi.

“I can smell you from over here.” Cherry commented.

“You’re the green ninja?” I asked, well more stated.

“Who would’ve thought? Lloyd Garmadon.” Peach said and Lloyd rolled his eyes.

“You’re all ninja?!” I exclaimed. I looked back at Cole in alarm who looked away from me. Then I looked back at the others and Cherry looked at them all before breaking the silence.

“I’m not! But they all are.” She confirmed, she then hit Kai’s chest.

“Fire.” Kai raised his hand like it was an ice breaker game.

“Lightning.” Jay raised his hand next.

“I don’t need to say, do I?” Lloyd said, eating some multicoloured cereal with his bare hands out the box.

“Peach.” Peach and shrugged. Like it was obvious. I looked back to Cole.

“Earth.” He admitted, my eyes watered. What the hell was going on. Everyone looked towards Pearl.

“Pink. Who else would I be?” Pearl asked.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Cole asked. I felt ill. And my heart was racing. What the fuck was happening?

“Nya! You haven’t-“ Kai’s words distorted in my head as another person walked into the room. Well, what I thought was a person.

“Can someone please check my internal hatch, I believe there is something stuck in there I cannot see.” A tall, metal man said as he walked in the room and proceeded to open his stomach open like it was nothing. Only to reveal a bunch of wires and a few boxes that wires were coming in and out of. Safe to say, I passed out.

I am never leaving my house again.

#nya smith x reader #ninjago nya #nya smith #water ninja #ninjago #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #cole brookstone #earth ninja #jay walker #kai smith #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #ninjago kai #ninjago jay #ninjago wu #ninjago misako #ninjago garmadon #ninjago pixal #pixal borg

[countrymusiclover]

28 - A Cowboy Kinda Life

Part 29

Country Rancher

Tags @whateverthecostner @rosie-posie08 @kaycejdutton @kayceduttonn @kcloveswrestling @the-morning-star-falls @kaymudd @artoldfartsandunicornhearts @hcwthewestwaswcn

Tying my hair in a braid falling down my back, I tugged on the reins of my horse feeling the wind blowing through my hair. Closing my eyes I lean back on my horse sighing in relief at this feeling of being so free. I haven't felt such freedom since we were spending our time at the summer camp. This feeling I want to hold onto for as long as possible. Dismounting my horse the tent flap gets opened revealing my husband who gave me a small smile. "Hey baby, I woke up and you were gone."

"It's fine Kayce. I just went out for a morning ride." I replied, tucking hair behind my ear wrapping my arms around his neck.

He rested his hands on my hips tugging me closer to his chest, smirking playfully. I mirror his expression knowing it would only lead to something reckless in the cowboy way. "I wanna show you somethin' while the kids are still asleep on their saddles."

Climbing back on my horse I followed him through the treeline where we rode for a little ways finding a rock ledge that reveals a huge clearing of a beautiful open field of orange and yellow. Slowly dropping off my horse Kayce tugged me down to sit beside him. He wrapped his arms around my waist kissing the crown of my head. "This spot brings me back to our summer honeymoon...I think we're getting back to that darling."

"I'd have to disagree." I teased, lifting my head to glance up into his brown eyes.

He squeezes me lightly, nuzzling his nose against mine getting my smile to grow. "Is that so. Tell me Mrs. Dutton, what exactly am I missing?"

Gently pushing him onto his back on the ground I hold myself up with my hands on either side of him. "Well we didn't really have a honeymoon since your father called us. So I think we deserve a re-do. Because I love our children, but we have four little ones and they take a lot out of me." I sighed with my hair falling in front of my eyes.

Kayce reached up tucking it behind my ear chuckling up at me rolling us over so I was the one on my back. "Oh I think I can do a re-do right here. With the woman that I love laying in the most beautiful scenery on earth.." He leans down pressing his lips onto mine where I immediately kiss him back.

Wrapping my arms and legs around him he puts his weight down on me deepening the kiss. One of my hands reaches up, knocking his black cowboy hat off his head threading my fingers into his brown curls. When I tugged on them he released a moan making me break the kiss for a split second. "Slow down cowboy. We've got time..."

"I don't want to wait Y/n. We have to live everyday to the fullest." He said in a raspy voice pressing his lips onto mine making me moan, twisting my fingers into his curls. We got so caught up in one another that we almost didn't hear the sound of another horse coming our way.

"Mom, Dad?" Bree's voice filled the air making us break away seeing her holding her younger sister on her horse staring at us slightly confused and embarrassed. "Are you two...you know?" She punched a fist into the air, blushing.

Kayce doesn't dare look me in the eye while I attempted to sit up pulling leaves out of my hair blushing myself. Everytime I look at my daughter I still see her as the eleven year old who wanted to play ranch with her grandfather and stuff her face with warm briscets. "Um - maybe. What do you need, honey?"

"Grandpa said to come find you. It's time to herd the cattle." She replied, clicking her tongue signaling her horse to go on its way back to the others.

Kayce flopped down on his black beside me running a hand down his face chuckling at me softly. Turning my head in his direction I hold myself up by my right elbow shaking my head at him. "Sometimes I wish she didn't grow up and just kept playing with ponies."

"Hey, look at it this way. She clearly knows what we were about to do. So you might not have to have the talk." He threw his hand in the air until I playfully shoved him hearing him start laughing at me.

We got back on our horses and everything actually went pretty well in regards to herding the cattle. John said he actually didn't think the whole thing would go as fast as it did. Carter, Bree and Tate were all settled up under the same tree for the night. Dallas and Elsa were running around playing roping with each other. "Got ya sissy!" He cheered making his sister trip falling on her knees getting some mud on her clothes.

"Eat dirt." She threw some dirt in his direction, sticking her tongue out. Dallas dropped his rope tackling her further into the dirt playfully wrestling with her.

Glancing over my shoulder I tilted my head up. I warned them before they both started whining over who was right. "Hey, you two. Cut it out or I'll make you go to bed early tonight!"

"Fine momma." Elsa smiled, shoving him off.

Dallas crossed his arms over his chest pushing hair out of his face. "She started it."

"He tripped me!" She started.

Dallas fought back, rising on his toes trying to be taller than her. "Tattle tail!"

Kayce came over crossing his arms over his chest glaring towards the twins backing me up. "Listen to your mother. There will be no fighting on this trip." The twins finally stopped running over to go hang out with Lioyd who wanted to show them something about his horse.

Removing my hat I leaned my back against the tree seeing the sun starting to set off in the distance of the mountains. Laying my hat on my lap Kayce wrapped his arms around me after pulling out a blanket we brought. One for the kids and the other for us to share. Turning over to face him I laid my head in the crook of his neck hearing him whisper in my ear. "I love you, Y/n. I always will. I just want you to know that in case I don't say it enough."

"I love you too Kayc, always have and always will." I mumbled under my sleepy breath snuggling into his cuddly embrace.

The next morning I didn't get woken up easily instead Kayce was shaking me awake mumbling something about a cowboy dead. Rubbing my eyes I quickly got to my feet following the direction he was leading me to find his father sitting beside the older cowboy named Emmett who had joined us on the journey. The branding was happening today and I had to bet his wife would be there. "Oh my gosh. John I, how did this happen?" Dropping down on a knee before the two cowboys Kayce and I both removed our hats in the process.

"He cuddled up on his saddle with that blanket. And we laid underneath the stars..." He took a long pause for a breath staring into my eyes. "He never opened his eyes when I came to wake him up...I couldn't have imagined a better way to go."

Wiping some tears away I watched Kayce climb back on his horse and put his head back on his head, eyeing his father. "Best way to go for a cowboy."

"Best way for anyone to go." I replied climbing back on my horse with everyone riding back to the ranch. Once we got back John immediately rushed to Emmett's wife right as I saw the camera crew focusing on them. "Oh no they don't!"

I attempted to run forward and scold them for filming such a sad moment but Kayce snagged my wrist holding me back with a warning glance. "We don't need to get involved. If they make it turn bad my dad will take care of it. Let's get something to eat." Nodding in agreement I watched John embrace the crying woman in a tight hug

Once we had gotten something to eat Kayce took the kids to get them some food too since they were busy playing a few minutes ago. Walking through the crowd of people I noticed Ryan leaning against the fence post then he climbed to sit on it to get a better view of the Abby girl who was performing on stage. "She's got you bad huh Ryan?"

"Huh - what are you talking about?" He turned his head in my direction , blushing a little.

I started laughing a little at him climbing up and sitting beside him on the fence watching everyone dancing to her song. "I've since that look on Kayce when he stares at me sometimes. The look that says you want them so bad you're just not sure you can manage it."

"The only thing I can't manage right now is...how am I supposed to get that girl on the dance floor when she's the one on stage?" He slumped his shoulders as Walker came our direction.

Jumping from the post he tipped his hat to me smiling. "Y/n, what can I do for you?"

"Actually it's for Ryan." I pointed my index finger towards the stage showing him Abby.

He nodded simply moving through the crowd before I offered my hand to Ryan. "Come on, cowboy. I'll lead you to her." He placed his hands in mine. Our hands intertwined with his other hand on my waist spinning us through the crowd.

My hair flies around as we kicked up some dust dancing in the crowd of people until I felt someone tap my shoulder. "You mind if I get a turn?" Abbu asked seeing that Walker was now on stage playing.

"It would be rude if I said no. Have fun you two." I tipped my hat at the pair moving through the crowd. Leaning my back into the fence post I scanned the crowd smiling at an event like this. Twirling my wedding ring on my finger I knew my mother in law would have loved this.

Foosteps broke through the crowd before I heard someone clear their throat making me focus my attention on my father in law. "Care for a dance, Y/n?"

'Oh John. Normally I wouldn't ask this but why aren't you asking Summer?" I smiled tucking hair behind my ear gently.

He extended his hand and I placed my hand in his letting my father in law lead me out onto the dance floor. "I asked her and she said no. So I thought I should ask my daughter in law. Plus your husband is over there dancing."

"Oh that's adorable." I chuckled following the direction towards the barn seeing him twirling Elsa and Dallas each underneath his arm.

John twirled me out and back into his chest intertwining our hands together. I always pictured him as being a good father in law and he hasn't let me down yet. "I am glad I can still lead a girl to the dance floor but I'll let someone else cut in."

"I enjoyed our time, John." I smiled feeling familiar arms wrapping around my waist from behind. John tipped his black hat to us before I spun around in those arms seeing my husband. Kayce intertwined my right hand while my other hand rests on his shoulder. He put one hand on my waist while we simply swayed side to side with Abby softly sang a song. Breaking a good end to the cowboy weekend.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#country rancher #kayce dutton x reader fanfiction #kayce dutton x fem!reader #kayce dutton #kayce dutton x reader #luke grimes #yellowstone fanfiction #carter yellowstone #yellowstone fanfic #yellowstone tv #yellowstone #ryan yellowstone #ian bohen #yellowstone season 5 #oc : bree dutton #oc : dallas dutton #oc : elsa dutton #rip x beth #rip wheeler #beth dutton #beth wheeler #cole hauser #kelly reilly #john dutton #kevin costner #tate dutton #brecken merrill #wattpad fanfiction #ask box is open for feedback #comments really appreciated

[sweetestofchaos]

Hey girl I want to talk to some and I thought of you.

Okay so I work in a cleaning office I’m 21 and I’m documented so it was hard for me to find a job that doesn’t ask for SSN anyways lately there’s been a few people here in the building making fun of me saying and I quote “your young working as a janitor that’s so sad and embarrassing” or “you should get a new job unless you didn’t have the education to get a better job” and other cruel things. And now I feel so ashamed of myself and to be honest, I don’t like the job there are a few nice people here but I feel like I could get a better job but we’re I been looking for a new one but I can’t find one they all ask for so many things specifically SSN I have to hold back my anger and tears because it’s hard and I need money I live with my parents but I pay rent, own pets, and all the jazz I just feel so unmotivated and unhappy.

Bestie, fuck em! You hear me? Fuck them!!!!

They have no write to belittle you at all. You are all doing the same shit, so what does that say about them? Embarrassing? So sad?? What's so embarrassing and sad about supporting yourself? There is nothing (and I mean this with my whole ass chest) nothing wrong with your job! Having an education doesn't mean shit to anyone anymore. They are stuck in the past and it's sad that they can't get with the times.

You have nothing to be ashamed about. You're 21 and are able to support yourself! Not everyone can say that and that is something you should be proud of. Hell, I'm 28 (going on 29) and I'm struggling to support my damn self, yet alone my family! Fuck them!!! Jeez this made me so freaking mad.

Do not let a bunch of loser who hate themselves make you feel any less than the amazing person that you are. You know who you are, you know your worth, fuck em! I cannot stress that enough!

As for struggling to find a job, I feel you on that, best friend. It is hard for everyone. Documented or not, job hunting is rough. Keep plugging at it little by little everyday. You don't have to spend hours looking for a new job. One or three apps a week is more than enough. If you are able to, try and go out with your dad/mom/sibling. Just spend the day breathing and forget about everything else.

I know things are looking dark and it sucks, believe me, I know. I hate to say that things will get better 'cause no one wants to hear that. But it's the truth. It takes time, a lot of time. Nothing will change over night (sadly). Just keep pushing and don't hold onto the bad days.

I would say talk to your HR department about the other people who are talking shit. It's not cool for them to be saying things like that, it makes for a toxic environment and leads way for poor workmanship.

I am here, if you need to talk and vent. I am always here, okay?

I love you and I am sending you all the good vibes that I can conjure,

Chaos

#soc answers #soc asks #anon bestie 💚

[jeoyrv]

1. The concept is rare. No twin chara makes me be the one and only.

2. My squad that suits on me.

3. 8/10

4. Classy and rare.

5. Joy Red Velvet.

6. I wish i did it.

7. instagram/_imyour_joy

8. Here Joy's photo.

9. Joyie

10. Active on Red Velvet, being brand ambassador, shooting variety show as MC.

11. As long as they talk with manners, i think i dont mind.

12. Haha, this is 'jamet' pic.

13. Feel my rhytm challengge.

14. Her voice.

15. With wendy unnie.

16. So annoying.

17. Always think before do something, dont embarrassed Joy.

18. Im done, hehe.

19. Depends their comfort, i think upchar or not as long as they dont harm the muse, i think its fine.

20. Never.

21. Ofcourse Joy.

22. According to the muse.

23. On Twitter, Whatsapp, and LINE.

24. Luhan, 9 months.

25. Confess to my crush.

26. My side accounts.

27. My boyfriend accounts.

28. My crush is my boyfriend, Sean.

29. Cute message i get today.

30. Thanks for coming into my life when i really need someone to talk everyday.

31. I had.

32. Somebody Out There by A Rocket To The Moon.

33. Drink because i love sean. 🍺

34. Taecyeon, 2 years.

35. For now, Just RP.

36. Never.

37. I think when i cant on, i just take a rest from RP.

38. x.com/Webdy

39. @TheVodcaz @Clarionation @Museu @PRKRFAMS

40. Jaehyun.

41. Im on healing now.

42. Sure.

43. 4/10

44. Cuz he ghosted me.

45. Just "Ibe"

46. Kinda annoying, sorry.

47. Someone with show off character.

48. I did.

49. Him.

50. I have.

51. Soon.

52. Drink 🍺

53. Drink 🍺

54. Drink 🍺

55. This meme

56. Drink 🍺

57. Maybe 10.

58. Never.

59. x.com/Haechap

60. 1 year.

61. Im happy, no problem dude.

62. Keychain, Book, Flowers, Tumblr, Earbuds.

63. I forgot actually but maybe around 1 million.

64. Aesthetic account.

65. doesnt have to be like that.

66. x.com/Joyrv

67. I never had.

68. Perhaps 7/10

69. The topic.

70. I want.

71. I did.

72. Like i want to say good bye to world.

73. Maybe stalk with private account.

74. I had.

75. Timeline.

76. Victim of the war.

77. J

78. Bingo

79. I always feel comfortable.

80. Always stay with the concept.

81. Rofen.

82. Ejie; bucin. Kalyn; cutie. Jecline; jamet. Xiano; humble.

83. Degber.

84. Ejie

85. Tejef

86. Jeanne

87. Calvin

88. Abee

89. Moses

90. Grexey

91. Rofen

92. x.com/taehygung, aa kasian aa minta 100 aa.

93. x.com/cenctil, ayo muncul pengen deketan.

94. Nothing yey.

95. Be solid member for the muse.

96. Sexy and cute at the same time.

97. x.com/Jeoyrv, I have done my best today, I must always be happy. I will take care of myself as best as possible so that I don't get sick, because I love myself.

98. So cool, but too much question 😭

99. Please stop on 100 question.

100. NO!

[casspurrjoybell-21]

Pirate Chains - Volume 1 - Strong Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 28 - Routine - Part 1

Nyx

I tilted my head and gave him a skeptical look.

"What's so funny?"

"I got my morning kiss back," he said, not bothering to open his eyes, a victorious smile tugging his lips.

God, did he have to say that out loud?

"I don't know what you're talking about" I stated, before I leaned in for another kiss that made him breath a laugh.

I pulled away to put my shirt on. Agenor finally opened his eyes lazily and gave me a curious look.

"What are you doing?"

"Work, remember?" I reminded him.

He stretched his arms and sat up, offering me his hand.

"Come here, I have something to tell you."

I hesitated, still embarrassed of the 'morning kiss' thing.

"I don't have time for your games, Agenor. Besides, it's too early."

He flashed a playful grin.

"Too early for what? What did you think I meant?"

I tried to come up with a witty retort but could only manage an indifferent

"You're shameless."

He laughed as I headed towards the door.

"Wait, seriously, I need to talk to you about something."

His expression grew serious, making me wonder if something was wrong. I walked back towards the bed and as soon as I was within his reach, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down onto the bed. I fell in a sitting position beside where he lay.

"You liar, you tricked me."

He laughed crudely.

"It wasn't me but... HIM."

He pushed his waist against my side and I felt his poking erection.

"You pervert."

He nuzzled in my hair and added with a sexy voice...

"You're to blame for saying all those arousing things yesterday."

I looked away to hide a blush that threatened to rise.

"First you need to put some clothes on. And second, I don't know what had gotten into me yesterday. I might've been drunk."

"No you weren't, when you drink you become audacious and rude, not trembling with affection"

I glared at him.

"That was hardly the case."

"Keep denying it, if you'd like. Although we both know what happened and it was inevitable anyway"

"Inevitable, you say?"

"Aye, it was only a matter of time before you fell to my charms."

"Someone has a big head," I commented and he retaliated instantly.

"Oh you know how big it is."

I closed my eyes at his crude insinuation, making him laugh.

"Now that that bridge is crossed, I'll make sure you confess your everlasting love for me everyday."

"I don't remember saying that. What I said was that I was confused and irrational."

He scoffed and continued as if I said nothing.

"In fact, from now on the rule is to keep saying it all day."

I avoided his eyes.

"I think you're sleeping right now because you're dreaming."

He stretched like a content cat and hugged me by the hip to bring me closer. His voice low and as he spoke.

"You're mine and I love you."

Heat immediately ascended my face and I found myself fidgeting.

"Me too... Maybe."

As soon as I spoke, my mind went into a frenzy at how easy it came out of me. It didn't even feel weird when there were a thousand reasons for it to be a very ill-advised thing to voice. There was rational explanation to this. I had become crazy. And yet... in the sea there was no society to worry about, no one to impress and act proper for. And on Martina, this little world that I currently lived in, I came to be fascinated by his strength, his personality, the way he ruled without any doubt. I felt safe whenever he was close, unlike the beginning where he was my arch enemy, my captor.

Now he was the man who introduced me to feelings I had never experienced before. How could it be that I hadn't forgiven his deeds and yet found him owning bits of my heart? It was official. I was crazy. He took advantage of my daydreaming and started fondling my thigh, his other hand tugging at my pants. I caught his hand and tried to leave the bed, only to have him latch at me.

"I don't have time to spare, Agenor. I need to work twice as hard today to make up for yesterday."

He completely ignored me and started pulling me on top of him but I resisted and gave him a pointed glare. He sighed in defeat, then leaned to kiss my thigh.

"Fine," he said between kisses.

"We'll just rub our cocks then."

My jaw dropped at I could find no words other than a breathless scoff to scold his indecent words. And yet my body ache to the prospect.

"Say yes," he ordered.

I looked down at him, he looked up at me, only breaking eye contact to kiss my hip. Somehow that felt like a plead rather than an order. I sighed. I shouldn't... but I really want to. My ears become scorching hot as I nodded slowly, too ashamed to say anything. He smirked at my reaction.

"And we have ourselves a bargain."

[xiv-wolfram]

Brothers - Comic Script

Prequel - Pre-Ul'dah

12 yo Wolfram has a lil temper tantrum about a sword?

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)

This is the script for a future comic. Posting for those who don’t want to wait to get the story. Numbers indicate frame number.

Wolf about 12, in his room, practicing with a wooden longsword. Hand wobbly. Narrator - 28 years before ARR, the future Warrior of Light, Wolfram, was pre-teen about to have a temper tantrum.” Note - Wolfram, Age 12

He drops the sword and curses.

Klaus walking past the door reading a book - hears a thud. Note - Klaus, Brother, Age - 11

Klaus runs in - "Wolf are you al-"

Wolf's hand stuck in the wall, he's trying to get it out. Looks at Klaus awkwardly "Oh I em… I fell."

Klaus sighs - "Again? Alright I'll get the bandage and plaster. Work on getting your hand out while I'm away."

Wolf sitting on bed, Klaus examining his hand. Klaus scoffs - "So what did it this time? Mother won't be pleased if she finds out, you know."

Wolf smiles guiltily - "Aye but… I suspect she's punched quite a few walls in her youth."

They giggle in agreement.

Wolf continues, looking away in embarrassment - "The practice sword Grandpa gave me… it's too heavy. No matter how hard I try I can't wield it one handed. I miss the rapier but he said I needed to learn with different blades so that I'll always have a weapon. If I can't even lift the longsword what's the point?"

Klaus smiles kindly - "It's alright Wolf, dad said once we become men we'll be stronger. So this will be easy for you then!"

Wolf snarls - "I want it to be easy now."

Klaus concerned, sits next to him on the bed - "Why? What's the rush?"

Wolf looks away and crosses his arm in embarrassment - "You don't get it I'm…I'm not like you. I've not a talented dancer. I don't make friends easily. Our parents don't smile when I walk in the room like they do for you. So…for everything I'm not I thought…well at least I could be strong so that I can protect you. Perhaps then people would like me too."

Klaus smiles sadly - "But Wolf…people *do* like you! My friend Ingrid was saying the other day how its a shame you don't come play with us anymore. As for our parents - they just see you as more grown up is all. That's why they give you more responsibility. I wish they thought of me that way.'

Wolf looks at him surprised - "Really?! You're not just trying to make me feel better?"

Klaus grins -Well...I am, but only with the truth! No one picks on my big brother but me! Not even himself!"

Wolf beams and hugs him - "Alright then, I'll try and be more kind to myself, but you'll have to pick on me extra to make up for it!"

Klaus laughs and hugs him back - "Alright then - you tell me how to act more mature and I'll tell you how to flirt with girls and dance."

Wolf sitting back, ponders comically - "I don't know if I want to flirt with anyone, but as long as you're a more patient trainer than dad I'd be happy for dance lessons."

Klaus smiles awkwardly - "Well Ingrid would certainly like to flirt with you. She keeps going on about how tall and strong you're becoming…"

Wolf rolls his eyes - "I suppose I could spend some time with her. Besides, once she realizes I don't like her that way perhaps she'll finally set her sights on you? Which I'm sure you would be pleased by."

Klaus turns red - "Wha-?! But I - no. No I don- where'd you get that idea?!"

Wolf grins smugly - "Aye, in addition to maturity I'll teach you how to act confident even when you're not. I do it everyday. I'm sure you'll pick it up easily! "

Wolfram Saga Comics (Chronological)

#ffxiv wol #oc wolfram #ffxiv #ffxiv oc #hyur highlander #hyur #wolcomic #WolframSaga

[nihilist-angel]

28. What are your erogenous zones?

29. What’re the most effective ways to tease you in public?

30. What’re your favourite ways to tease your partner in public?

31. What’s your biggest sexual pet peeve?

32. If you could dress/style someone to be as attractive to you as possible, what would they look like?

33. If you had to put on an outfit to turn-on your partner the most during a date, what would it be?

34. What are your favourite pet names/dirty names to call and be called during sex?

35. Have you ever hooked-up with a stranger?

36. What’s the best sexual compliment you’ve ever received?

37. Do you enjoy it when your partner has piercings and/or tattoos? Are there any particular body parts where you like your partner to have them?

38. What’s your funniest and/or most embarrassing sex story?

39. If your partner was going to send you a video of themselves, what could they do to make it turn you on the most?

28. thighs, stomach, lower back, inner arms, wrists, clavicles and neck

29. Caresses when your hand’s on my thigh and also casual inadverted ass grabbing (bonus points: if the previous actions are made while being hugged from the back)

30. Playing with their hair stroking the back of their neck while doing so and ‘cluelessly’ rubbing myself against them. I also wear skirts almost everyday so casually bending over in front of them is a favorite of me too ;)

31. Feet and any individual invalidating type of role play (ie. race, age, rape play and so)

32. cross earrings, heavy belt and lots of rings paired with dress/baggy pants, boxers that show when you lift your arms, and either a tight shirt or no shirt and an open throw on

33. No underwear, low heels, short miniskirt, lingerie body suit and necklace with their name/initial on it

34. My ultimate favorite is princess ✨ but also baby, love, angel, sweetheart, amor, mami (only by latin people), honey, bitch, whore, slut, boo. Really anything unless I tell you I don’t like it.

35. Yes but won’t ever again

36. That I make pretty/sexy ‘sounds’ (I’m really insecure about my boobs so I also liked when someone said they liked how bouncy they were but I like it mostly for self-esteem reasons)

37. YES YES YES FUCK YES I like lip and side nose rings but also eyebrow piercings and tattoos just anywhere and everywhere but thigh/hand tattoos are def a favorite

38. I don’t really think I have one, maybe the only time I was w a guy cause I forced myself too do so (you know don’t discard it til you’ve tried it) like we weren’t even started and i was already thinking ‘yea maybe i am a lesbian’

39. Video of them getting off audibly moaning/groaning as they describe exactly what they’re picturing us doing all the way until they finish themselves off

Was I clear enough baby or would you like further elaboration? if so please say so, i’m here to serve you

#nihilist angel.ask

[jaanwangji]

Hello!!!! My day was fine till i started scrolling through louis' twitter to make an edit for 12dol and i became so emotional. it's just the way he talks to us, about us and how regularly he checks up on us and how constantly he thanks us tells us he's so grateful. I also cried a little when i saw the s*co tweet, ok that's a lie i cried alot!!!but hey they were happy tears so.....no regrets.

Sooo.... My life is just a series of embarrassing events to an extent i can't think of anything. So I'll tell you two things, one is slightly embarrassing (only slightly plzz don't think that's the most embarrassing moment it's just something at the top of my mind) and second a memory i think about and laugh(its cute i swear).

So when i was tenth and we just started trigonometry (it's hard whenyou start yk sm to remember) so i was sitting with two of my friends sitting on either side of me. Sir gave us a question we all started working. But both of my friends were being so annoying. One of them just kept asking me small questions and the other one was saying all the formulas out loud. In short annoying me I was having a hard time concentrating and i like maths so i get competitive. So i cery loudly told them to stfu!! And literally every one heard me. And sir looked at me laughed and said yeah you tell em. My tenth grade self foungld it really embarrassing believe me now I'm just shouting things in class all the time.

The second one was when i was really young. I was the youngest cousin and i was visiting my oldest cousin. So yk he treated me like really nicely. Always used to carry me around in his arms and stuff. So he had a dog a bitch might i say. She used to get soo jealous of the fact that I'm recieving more attention than her so she used to bark at me and stuff. But the funniest thing she used to do was sit really close to my parents. And my dad was some what scared of dogs so that used to be really funny. And little me had a hero syndrome. So i wanted to "save" my dad but i used to be scared of her too i mean i was like soo small she was bigger than me in size😂😂 I got over my fear of her when i was 11 😂😂

And I'm really curious about this poem stuff?!! What were you writing?? Like both of them😂😂 god this one got soo long maybe I'll add a fact later🙈~ ❄

DBDJDJDKKDKKDBDJDJJ who hasn't cried a river while thinking of louis? I sure have more times than I'm willing to admit jkkd its just he is everything lol can't even describe what exactly he means to me yk

bdkdkks i wish i had your teacher lol he sounds dopeee. i hate maths actually, that's the bane of my freaking existence like where tf would i need trigonometry in my future?! pls explain ew

omg i LOVE dogs i want one soooo bad but my mom hates pets and says they're too much work for my lazy ass djjdkd i plan on getting one when i move out for good but we'll see lmao EJKSKKKEKE i imagine that would seriously be very very hilarious oof dogs are amazing nfkddk

I can send u the poems later lol but the one i was writing was kindaaaaa abt sex fjdjkd well not really but it had that sexy undertone yk too many metaphors and what not but still very blatant if you know what to relate it too djdjdk idek why i was writing that i generally don't write about those kinda things but sometimes my mind just goes "boom you gotta write" and im like "but what" and it goes "you gotta" fbdjjbb (also I've no experience of sex lol djdjdk)

the one my teacher read was a sad one i think i wrote it when i was really down or something and it was frankly concerning just how much i wanted to end it all, i don't blame her for being worried about my health coz like that shit is concerning but i think it was more of me pouring out my feelings than yk writing about what i wanted to do but she didn't know obvio fjfjfk

ps: most of my poems are veryyy depressing lol i can't help it

okay do i need to share an embarrassing story now since you shared two? Xbdbndb

#secret santa #seriously don't think about being too embarrasing #i embarrass myself everyday 28 times #so we all good

[heavyarethecrowns]

Kate Middleton: Prince William’s Decade-Long Mistake - Oct 2010

Who is Kate Middleton? After nearly 10 years of seeing Kate’s recorded behavior, this is my impression: Kate Middleton doesn’t care about any causes, charities or anything outside of living for pleasure. I doubt her ability to handle royal responsibilities – beyond dealing with privileges and paparazzi – because in the ten years the world has watched her, she hasn’t demonstrated she can take on anything but a royal c*ck and a jolly good time. While true, she isn’t married to William and isn’t in fact a royal (and may never be, for all we know), her perseverance implies she’s in it for the long haul and plans to become the Princess of Wales. As such, she should have taken these years to demonstrate to the world that, although she’s a common-bred, middle-class girl, she’s an exceptional lady who rises above the rest. But Kate has failed profoundly in that respect. The last thing the women of the public should be thinking when they see William’s marital choice is, “What on earth makes her so special? I could have done that/been in her place – and done it better! -Maybe I should have gone to St. Andrews!” But that’s what women, including myself, are lead to think of her. Coming from her background, as a common, everyday girl, it shows her complete lack of humility, and is borderline arrogant, for her to assume she can live like a spoiled brat who doesn’t need to prove herself. She enjoys a privileged life that she wasn’t born into – and for the life of many, we can’t understand why. Why was she chosen? Why not someone else? Why not a woman the vast majority can respect and admire? Let’s be honest here: William can have nearly anyone he wants – and he’s settling for this average circus monkey?

At first glance, Kate seemed like a well kept, nicely mannered woman – and well-suited for a royal position. In the first few years of her royal relationship, she shone as an attractive, educated, beautifully fashioned, friendly, and conservatively-behaved young lady. But that was then. Now, upon looking back at Kate’s near-decade as an unofficial princess-in-waiting, her behavior reveals her as a underwhelming choice for the monarchy. She’s demonstrated that she’s far from exceptional, and that aside from her pursuit of a crown, she’s a disappointing, arrogant underachiever of little substance.

Ambitious In All The Wrong Ways:

Those who know Kate often describe her as ambitious; and in the beginning, that’s the side of her the public got to see. Kate worked hard on her academics so she could attend the prestigious St. Andrews University, where William was also set to attend. While there, she met William and completed the same degree as him, in Art History.  Following their graduations, William began the demanding military career he still pursues today. However, surprisingly, the once ambitious-seeming Kate did nothing: She remained jobless for nearly two years, living off of her parents (and William, I’m sure). Kate finally got a part-time job as an accessories buyer at the fashion chain, Jigsaw, but quit after only 11 months. Notably, rumors suggest Kate only got the job to passify Her Majesty, The Queen, who took notice that her grandson’s significant-other was a lazy freeloader. After that, she worked for her parent’s internet business, Party Pieces (which to many read like an unemployment cover-up). Apparently, Kate made updates to their website and took photos for it. That sounds pathetic and hardly full-time. Not to mention, Kate’s monthly getaways to exotic locations with William attest that her parents gave her an overwhelming amount of time off whenever she wanted it. That’s hardly a real job. And if that’s not disappointing enough, Kate quit the job all together in October of 2009 and has officially been doing nothing but shacking up with William while he pursues his career ever since. I’m sorry Katie dear, but for any 28 year old – especially a potential Queen of England – that’s absolutely not good enough.

There are several obvious problems with the reality of Kate’s ambitions (or lack thereof). She was ambitious about her education, but clearly didn’t want or need it for a career – So, what was she even at St. Andrews for, and why was she ambitious about getting there? She graduated from a top notch university, only to settle for unemployment and a job her parents provided? Logically, it’s mismatching for someone to aggressively pursue a top-tier education only to fall flat as a lazy, career-underachiever immediately and permanently thereafter. The fact that Kate did just that leads me, and countless others to believe she was only academically driven so she could put herself in William’s way and try to form a relationship with him. Also telling are the numerous reports by those close to Kate’s mother that Mrs. Middleton pushed her daughter’s attendance to St. Andrews in hopes of her becoming royalty.

Kate: The Attention-Loving Wild Child

When Kate’s not working – and that’s most of the time – she goes shopping, attends leisurely sporting and social events, and parties ’till her heart’s content in Britain’s most luxurious night spots (Paris Hilton style – ick). The photos of her nightlife are less than flattering – actually, they’re flat out embarrassing – especially for the potential next Princess and Queen of Wales. She often looks extremely intoxicated, and her attire and car-exiting-techniques have granted the paparazzi dozens of “crotch shots”.

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=kate+middleton&iid=756945″ src=”http://view3.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/756945/kate-middleton-birthday/kate-middleton-birthday.jpg?size=500&imageId=756945″ width=”234″ height=”151″ /] Kate characteristically grinning as she’s hounded by the paparazzi

Any other 28 year old woman would be focused on a career or starting a family – or both; But Kate just parties like she’s some rich 19 year old without any responsibilities. In fact, she’s only too happy to show that side of herself to the paparazzi – and the world. Her parents and William (taxpayer dollars) have financially supported her throughout her twenties – extravagant vacations included – and Kate’s habitual ear-to-ear smile indicates she’s loved every minute of it. As long as she’s attached to William, she doesn’t have a care in the world that other (common) women like her have – aside from her image, and she’s let that fall to the wayside. From the bright red coat she wore to William’s military graduation to the never-failing smile she wears for the paparazzi, Kate’s self-presentation says she loves being a celebrity and all eyes being on her. Unfortunately, Britain needs a princess who naturally exudes a respectable image when she provokes the world to look.

William’s Mistake – William’s Responsibility

I understand William’s need to pick a lady who’ll roll with the punches, deal well with the crazy, public lifestyle (privacy invasion, etc.), and conform to suit the monarchy’s needs. Nevertheless, it’s his mistake in assuming those are the only criteria a future princess must meet. If there was a checklist for the “Qualities of the Most Ideal Future Princess of Wales”, Kate would scantily fulfill 20% of them:

Intelligence and Wit

Humility

Career ambition/self sufficiency

Physical beauty – (C’mon, princesses are supposed to be pretty! -Especially when the prince is popular enough to take his pick. Kate’s…just…okay…)

Noble/Aristocratic blood (if not this, then a woman who stands far above the crowd of other commoners)

Grace and Conservative femininity (that goes out the window when you’ve been banging the prince for a decade without a commitment – Oh, and the rumored accidental pregnancies (abortion fanatic if they’re true! *cough* TMI *cough*))

Charity and service for those in need (I volunteered like crazy in college, and I’m not anywhere near royal… Why didn’t Kate?! – And why hasn’t she since??)

Respectable and responsible image (yeah, umm, no)

Takes on royal responsibilities to earn royal privileges (Kate’s only got the acceptance of privileges part down…)

Aaaand the list goes on…

Of course, there’s the possibility that Kate’s the girl who’s a match for William’s heart. But I doubt it. Kate’s the girl with everything to lose if the relationship fails, and everything to gain if it succeeds – her greatest skill is that she’s willing/desperate enough to jump through all and any hoops, including waiting 10+ years for a proposal – and William knows it.

It may have been 10 years, but it’s not too late for William to turn around and make a better decision. Kate hasn’t been cheated – contrary to some’s beliefs. She’s lived a decade of fantasy and wonder beyond her wildest dreams, and has continually been treated to luxuries she doesn’t deserve. William owes it to himself, and his country to make a responsible choice about the future Princess of Wales. Yes, he needs to choose a woman he loves, but his privileges require sacrifices on his part, and that means choosing a bride that will be an honorable partner for the people’s sake too. If William was going to wait ’till his late 20s/early 30s to wed, he could have waited to meet a woman who’s getting a PhD, or who runs a charitable non-profit organization, for example. But no : Instead, he’s burdening his country with wishy-washy, Waity Katie.

It’s not about choosing a girl who loves being photographed or relishes living her fantasy of being a fashion icon – or even a real, live princess. It’s about choosing a self-sufficient woman who has something amazing to offer the country and the world: A role model, a charitable, caring person who views joining the monarchy as a responsibility, and an opportunity to serve the people – not just an entitlement to luxurious privileges. Right now, the latter is Kate Middleton; And I don’t foresee her entire irresponsible, pleasure-loving personality changing just because wedding vows are exchanged. What we’ve seen is what we’re going to get as Lady Di’s shoe-filler – if William decides to go through with it. One can only hope that won’t be the case.

#duke of cambridge #duchess of cambridge #prince william #kate middleton #proof #article

[skiasurveys]

523

bold what applies

I like to consider the idea of getting a PhD.

It scares me to make commitments regarding my future.

Comparing myself to others is the #1 thing that makes me feel upset.

I get really annoying and chatty when I’m scared.

I enjoy memorizing things, be it poems, sequences of numbers, or whatever.

After it storms, it interests me to drive around and see all the downed trees and damage.

I imagine that ordinary things are magical and it makes life more fun.

Sometimes I say things in a stupid accent for no reason.

I love playing and usually win at trivia games.

I am eagerly anticipating receiving something in the mail.

I usually feel shitty after scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed.

Sometimes after hearing a song in a movie scene, I gain a whole new appreciation for the song.

I don’t like it when rooms have walls that are not all the same color.

I hate when there’s a cute guy around and I want him to talk to me but he doesn’t.

I enjoy cleaning out and organizing my iTunes.

I prefer sociology over psychology.

I would describe myself as quite quiet but friendly.

I tend to have dreams where I’m intensely angry more often than I have dreams where I am scared.

I am terrified to ever have to write a college thesis.

Clothes rarely fit me right off the rack. It’s discouraging and annoying.

I will defend the things I love TO THE GRAVE.

I have played the game Skylanders and it’s absolutely adorable and fun.

As cheesy as it sounds, looking into the mirror and saying positive things really helps my self-esteem.

It’s easy for my imagination to get going and I spook myself easily.

It bothers me a bit when celebrities get to write and publish novels.

Bad writing inspires me to write most, because I think, “if people enjoy THAT, they’ll definitely enjoy what I can write.”

I really never want to get pregnant.

I have tried almond milk, rice milk, and soy milk.

Something that bothers me more than when someone says something offensive, is when someone else defends the offensive statement.

I never wanted to be a princess when I was little.

I adore old houses, especially if they’re “haunted.”

I’m terribly embarrassed of my past self.

I love the taste of garlic in food, but garlic breath grosses me out so much.

I really enjoy old horror movies.

I keep on remembering songs I haven’t listened to in years because of Songpop.

^ which is the first Facebook game I have ever enjoyed…

Mikhail Baryshnikov is one of my idols.

English is not my first language, but usually people can’t tell immediately.

I have a secret notebook which no one even knows exists and I would rather die than have anyone read it.

My current roommates are the best I’ve had so far.

Good posture really attracts me in someone of my preferred gender.

^ as do strong, maintained eyebrows.

I can’t really function with an Apple computer, lack of experience with those.

I don’t feel emotions the way ”normal” people do.

I don’t own a soft wallet, mine is plastic.

I tend to date men with power positions when it comes to their jobs.

No matter how hard I try, I seem to be unable to whistle.

Good manners are quite important to me.

I was once very involved in a certain sport.

I actually really enjoy cleaning my ears. hahahaha.

I refuse to eat ketchup on anything.

I often sigh really loudly by accident.

I much prefer the colder seasons to summer.

When I feel extra fancy, I fishtail my hair. It is incidentally the fanciest thing I can do with it.

I am a master at getting along with people when I try, because I am very good at figuring out how they want me to react and what they expect me to say, and if I don’t care about them and can’t be bothered to interact properly, I go into that mode.

I refuse to mow the grass, for some reason it terrifies me.

I get pretty bad season allergies.

I don’t eat pork.

My blood type is O positive.

I have ghostly pale skin.

Singlespeed bikes are my favourite.

I have never used shaving cream in my entire life. I never saw any repercussions.

I feel most people I have met in my life would do better if they toughened up.

I have a bigger problem with people who think that feminism has anything to do with hating or belittling men than with people who don’t identify to the feminist movement.

I have struggled with drug use in the past.

I have never used a credit card.

This year, I will vote for something on a national level.

There is absolutely no carpet in my flat.

Currently, I have no interest in learning how to drive.

The job I want to do after school is rather uncommon.

One of my favourite drinks is Kvass. :s :s :s

I cook a lot, and enjoy it very much.

I am a daddy’s girl, by far.

My longest relationship was a long-distance one.

One of my favourite bands is Iron Maiden.

I am unable to write in print, I actually have to stop and remember not to write in cursive after every letter.

When I was a child, I had the ”by myself” syndrome and refused any help from anyone to do whatever.

It still hasn’t changed much, haha.

My computer tends to overheat quite often.

Fiddler on the Roof is my favourite musical.

I have an incredibly high alcohol tolerance.

My phone is always dead.

Indian food is my favourite ethnic cuisine.

My mother works in psychology.

My father works in the cooking industry. He also works in the music industry.

I feel very hot at the moment, and I get anxiety when I’m too hot.

I’m pretty picky about things in general.

However, I refuse to pick a restaurant when asked.

I don’t bite my nails.

I have a piece of jewelry representing a flag on my body at all times.

I seldom shave my legs, my hair grows very slowly. :P

I used to be pretty active in the survey community, and only just recently came back.

Only one person in my family has had a serious disease such as cancer.

I have no idea how much I weigh.

Or how tall I

1. i am currently on facebook.

2. i like the band maroon 5.

3. I have hugged some of my best buddies today.

4. I have hugged someone I like today.

5. I think Bonzai waterslides are amazing.

6. i put hair clips in my hair almost everyday.

7. Hubba Bubba gum = yum.

8. I think 5 gum is disgusting.

9. I hate when I take a shower, my hair gets my back all wet.

10. It really hurts when someone hits you with a sock!

11. dachshunds are adorable.

12. I have never played chess before.

13. I don’t really care for instrumental songs.

14. i put my ipod on shuffle, but then i end up skipping half of the songs anyway.

15. i love brother/sister relationships.

16. ^I have one with someone.

17. i’m usually invisible on aim.

18. I feel like I repeat myself on every survey.

19. Today was really fun.

20. I am messaging someone through Facebook at this moment.

21. i hate when people become impatient when you are trying to do something.

22. ^Although I do.

23. All that I wanted to hear from you, something of value, something untrue.

24. People never seem to answer on AIM.

25. My cat always walk in front of my computer screen.

26. My cat is sitting on the desk right now.

27. i don’t like it when people come and watch what i’m doing on my computer.

28. i never publish any of my entries to facebook.

29. ^I don’t understand why you would.

30. I enjoy countdown surveys.

#survey #surveys #questions #bold

[decadentdavinadivine]

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Oh yessss

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Yepp

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Not that I know of

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yesss

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No

6. What are you excited for? December ♥️

7. What happened tonight? Playing smite and chillin

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Um no lol

9. Is confidence cute? Veryyy

10. What is the last beverage you had? Wine

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Nope

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Watch scary movies

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Most likely baby food

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Nope

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I sure hope so

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Myself lol

18. The last time you felt broken? Hmmm a long time ago

19. Have you had sex today? Nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Yesss

21. Are you in a good mood? Very

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? I have before

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? My bio dad yes

24. What do you want right this second? A massage

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? 🤷🏻‍♀️

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Never

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? A show

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes🥺

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Depends on the situation

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? No

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yessss

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Occassionally

34. Listening to? Silence

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? If its the only option lol

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Yes

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yess

38. Who did you last call? My mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with? My baby

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Bored

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Years ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No🥺

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Oh yesss

44. Do you tan in the nude? Always

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nope

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No🥺

47. Who was the last person to call you? My mom

48. Do you sing in the shower? If I'm in the mood

49. Do you dance in the car? Oh yess

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 6 years ago

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Never!

53. Is Christmas stressful? Not for me lol

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Whatioli?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Nope

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Doctor

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yesss

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Always

59. Take a vitamin daily? Nope

60. Wear slippers? Yes

61. Wear a bath robe? Always in one

62. What do you wear to bed? Nothing

63. First concert? Can't remember but definitely a country band

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Wally world all day err day

65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Nope

69. Ever take dance lessons? Yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yesss and roll it 😈

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Yes

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Oh yesss

74. What is your favorite book? Alice in wonderland

75. Do you study better with or without music? Better with

76. Regularly burn incense? Everyday

77. Ever been in love? Yepp

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Adele, April lavigne, Keith Urban, Jacob banks , rilo kiley, Molly sanden

79. What was the last concert you saw? Sxsw in Austin

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot

81. Tea or coffee? Coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? White chocolate macadamia nut

83. Can you swim well? Yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Oh yes I'm a hiccup master

85. Are you patient? Nope

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Acoustic guitar and violin

87. Ever won a contest? Yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Never and never will

89. Which are better black or green olives? Black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Um do itttt

91. Best room for a fireplace? Bedroom😈

[glass-tablegirlss]

1-92 PLEASE Queen 😩😩😩

1:When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 15. Unfortunately my first time wasn’t my choice.

2: Rough sex or soft sex?

Rough

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?

Yes, plenty 👀

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?

Under a boat

5: Favourite sex position?

Doggy

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Submissive

7: Have you ever had any one night stands?

Yes, a few

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?

Depends, but floor or bed. So much room for activities

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Yes

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?

Yes lmao it was never spoken about though

11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?

Sheer black floral lace with bits of gold lace

12: How often do you have sex?

It’s been so long 😅

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?

Yessirrrr

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?

Giving

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?

Already answered, scroll down

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

Anything by The Weeknd

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?

Anything by The Weeknd

18: Are you into dressing up for sex?

Absolutely

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Shower

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

🤭🤭

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?

I haven’t but I want to

22: Do you/would you use sex toys?

Absolutely, I do. They take everything to the next level.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?

Yessir

24: Would you have sex with your best friend?

I have before, ruined the friendship so I wouldn’t do it again

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)

Sit in orgasm bliss for about 30 mins

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Kissing really passionately

27: Early morning sex or late night sex?

Late night

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?

Eyes

29: Favourite body part on the same sex?

Eyes

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

??

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

I’d have to think more on this 🤣

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yes 🤤 I’m delicious

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Yes if it’s consensual from everyone involved.

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

Alcoholic whipped cream

35: Worst possible time to get horny:

At work

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

YESSSS

37: How much fapping is too much fapping:

If it gets in the way of everyday life

38: Best sexual complement you ever got:

I’ve gotten a lot 🤭

39: Favorite foreplay activities:

Bring mentally and physically dominated to the point where I give up control and feel safe with what they have planned for me

40: What do you wear to bed?

Big t shirt or little tank top dress

41: When was the first time you masturbated:

I don’t even remember, I was youngggg though

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Yes

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Yes, years ago on a boat

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

Yes, I would

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

I haven’t but I definitely want to

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

??? I’ve used my hands and toys?!

47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Fuck yes

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)

Absolutely

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I love tattoos

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

I’d rather not

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

Spicy food 🤣

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Nothing against either

53: Do you watch porn?

Yes

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Yes, idk it’s just the way I am 🤪

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Yessir

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

It’s natural, no one should have a problem with it

57: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Lmfaooo idk?!?

58: Booty or Boobs?

Both

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Yes when I was super young and stupid

60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?

Yes

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?

Yes

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

I don’t have a peeeen

64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Toys, clitoral

65. What is your bra/penis size?

34DD

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

A penis LOL

67. When was the last time you masturbated?

Yesterday

68. When was the last time you had sex?

Forever ago 😅 I don’t see the point unless I’m in love with the person. I can do better by myself.

69. When was the last time you watched porn?

Yesterday

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

Yes,

71. Guys:Circumsized?

I’m a girl :)

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My neck

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

I have one genital part??

74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

Hmmm I haven’t tried tbh

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

No I haven’t

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

A few weeks ago, I really can’t remember

77. Which wet dream was your favorite?

OOO I had a dream about The Weeknd, was unreal.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

No I like my friends purely as friends

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Probably a few LOL

80. Favorite sexual position?

From behind

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

BOTH and more

82. Are you into any BDSM?

Yes

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

Probably, not positive though.

84. Do you like dirty talk?

Absolutely

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

Loud

86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Yes, by ex’s parents hahaha

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

BDSM, domination, threesum

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

Yesssirrr 🤭

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Absolutely, who hasn’t?!

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

I have. Not in contact with them anymore.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Yes I have previously, they’re not beneficial anymore

92. Ask whatever you want

[nerolith]

It’s your fault that I am mean now: all the oh lalala questions please~!

1. Top turn on? Being shown I am wanted. I should add by the particular individual that wants me and I want them is a top turn on.

2. Last time you had sex with the opposite gender?  Few weeks ago.

3. Last time you had sex with the same gender? That is even longer I was in my early 30's

4. Last time you masturbated? Every day. Usually in the shower easy clean up haha.

5. What’s the weirdest thing that has turned you on? Dammit... The thought of having sex on top of a horse while it wanders in the back nine.

7. What’s the weirdest kind of porn you’ve watched?  Pirate porn haha.

8. How often do you masturbate/have sex? Sex isn't often. I masturbate everyday if I am up for it.

9. Have you ever taken nude pictures? Close enough to being nude?

10. Dom or Sub? I'm Dominic Toretto

11. Is pain a good thing? Only if there is a want for it.

12. Do you like biting? Hahem I do.

13. Do you like scratching? Not skin breaking hard.

14. Are you slightly horny right now? I'm a guy what does that tell you? Haha.

15. Are you very horny right now?  Haha

16. Do you like face fucking? If the other individual was into it.

17. 10 of your biggest turn ons?

Dammit again, 10? Should I give a novel of exactly how to turn me on? Haha

Don't most of these questions give away turn ons?

18. Do you cook naked? I have and likely will again.

19. Do you like foreplay?  Love it.

20. Have you had a vaginal orgasm? Erhm no.

21. Do you like sex with women? I do.

22. Do you like sex with men? I do.

23. Would you have sex with a trans* person? Yes, a feeling is a feeling.

24. Do you like your nipples played with? Sure? Can't say I've had it done to really know. Haha.

25. Do you like your lips bitten? Of course, it releases the excitement don't you think?

26. Do you like to kiss with tongue? I do.

27. How often do you masturbate? Wasn't this established already? Haha.

28. Have you masturbated while someone else was in the room? Hm I haven't.

29. Would you have sex with a married person? If they were married to me.

30. Would you have sex with a couple/multiple people? That would depend on how my partner would feel on it. Being single? Not sure to be honest haha.

31. Do you go outside naked? If it was private setting where I could I likely would.

32. Do you like being woken up with sex? Never had it happen, perhaps start with oral.

33. Do you give oral? I do.

34. Would you let someone eat off of you? Haha what? Sure? If they wanted to?

35. What is the youngest/oldest you would sleep with? No younger than 30 and up that is just a number. For the most part.

36. Do you like having drunk sex? I haven't been drunk in years I don't know.

37. Do you enjoy wearing lingerie? No.

38. What is your favorite thing about sex?  From start till finish and after.

39. What is your favorite sexual setting? Basically anywhere as long as we are both sexual? Haha?

40. Would you ever fool around in a movie theater? Given the opportunity why not?

41. Would you ever make a porno with your bf/gf? Likely not.

42. Would you ever do a photo shoot in sexy clothes for your bf/gf? Sure?

43. Do you like it rough or sensual?: would depend on the mood and treatment of it. Haha.

44. Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both? It is all on who I like and gain that feeling for doesn't matter what their sex will be.

45. How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger? Never.

46. How do you feel about one night stands? I am not against them. Sometimes they happen.

47. Do you prefer to make love or fuck? Both

48. Have you ever watched porn while having sex? Yes.

49. How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed? As long as the moment calls for it.

50. Do you like kissing during sex? Yes.

51. Does size matter? Erhm.

52. How many sexual partners have you have in the last month? 1

53. What does your favorite foreplay include? The usual, toys.

54. Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?  I've given it and I like it.

56. Do you ever worry about how you’re pleasing your partner? Listen to them? Listen to their body and you should have a problem.

57. Could you live without sex? No.

58. How long does a typical sexual episode last for you? Again depends on the person and mood.

59. Do you like to perform oral sex? I do.

60. Do you like to receive oral sex? I do.

61. Have you ever taped yourself in the act? Never.

62. Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some? I haven't.

63. Have you ever been caught in the act? Also no.

64. Have you ever had sex while on drugs? I do not do them.

65. Would you let other people watch you have sex live? No.

66. Do you ever have sex in the shower? I have yes.

67. What was the biggest age difference with a partner? 10 or something like that.

68. Do you feel your up to par in bed? With out a doubt.

69. What was your most embarrassing sexual moments? I don't have any surprisingly I know haha.

70. Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back? I'm very tall so it would be where ever is more comfortable.

71. Do you wear protection as often as you should? If I need too I will.

72. Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you? Does that matter?

73. Have you ever done bondage sex (chains ,whips, etc.)? I've tied a individual down before.

74. Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life? That isn't for the world or myself to name.

75. If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?  That is confidential between myself and if the other individual knows or not.

Ţhåņķ ýøů

#å§ķ #ņęřö

[hvilested]

Are You a Maladaptive Daydreamer? Here’s How to Quit

Tess in the City

Are you a maladaptive daydreamer? Keep reading. / Photo Credit: Jr Korpa

What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Maladaptive daydreaming is a psychiatric response, often due to trauma. The trend seems to be that it’s a survival technique/coping mechanism that is essentially extreme escapism. Identified by Professor Eliezer Somer, maladaptive daydreaming creates a space where people can escape into their minds while sometimes simultaneously becoming trapped by the coping mechanism which has become maladaptive meaning “not providing adequate or appropriate adjustment to the environment or situation.”

Some of the signifiers that you might be a maladaptive daydreamer; you:

Daydream for many minutes or hours in a way that interrupts your everyday tasks and intrudes upon you actually living.

Find daydreaming a compulsive habit that’s automatic and addictive.

Make facial expressions, pace, mutter, whisper, voice imaginary conversations aloud, cry, or laugh reacting to what you’ve imagined.

Create storybook worlds where you’ve devised all the characters and play them out in your head.

Recycle characters from books, TV shows, or real people from your real life to populate your fantasies.

Are kept awake at night by your daydreams.

Note: Not all of these are necessary to be a maladaptive daydreamer. Frequently, maladaptive daydreamers have a combination of many of the above. What makes maladaptive daydreaming harmful is if it’s intruding upon your day-to-day life and if it’s addictive.

Professor Somer developed the Maladaptive Daydreaming Scale (MDS) which allows daydreamers to rate the severity of their symptoms and gauge the intensity of their daydreams, their ability to control their daydreaming as well as the compulsivity of it as a behavior, the amount of distress they feel by intrusive daydreaming, their perceived benefits of daydreaming, and how much daydreaming impacts their ability to carry out every day activities.

How Do You Interrupt or Quit Maladaptive Daydreaming?

Get to the roots. Treat the trauma. Photo Credit: Jr Korpa

Start Treating the Underlying Trauma

This might not be the quickest method to stop maladaptive daydreaming, but it might be the most effective longterm method. If unhappy daydreamers are more content in their fantasy realms than their everyday life, then it’s important to reflect on why that is. Since maladaptive daydreaming does seem to be linked to trauma in many cases, it makes sense to get to the root of its origins, and treat the trauma. Maladaptive daydreamers can turn to therapy, trauma release exercises you can find on YouTube (the best trauma experts of our time know that trauma needs to be released from the physical body, and it’s best to do this in conjunction with talk therapy and other methods), EMDR, trauma release yoga, other somatic exercises, medication as needed, dance, laughter, community, cognitive behavior therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, healthy dietary changes, abstinence from alcohol and drugs, positive affirmations, positive psychology, spiritualism, and joyous and healthy behaviors. Many trauma survivors who learn to live beyond what’s happened to them use multiple techniques to re-align with their wellbeing.

Identify and Reduce Triggers

It’s important to identify your triggers. When do you start maladaptive daydreaming? Is there a specific time period you usually do it? Do specific tasks like brushing your teeth, listening to music, or taking walks seem to initiate daydreams? Do you find the daydreams are more encompassing when you’re isolated, scared, sad, tired, happy, hungry, energetic? Limit any triggers, and if you do have specific triggers that are unavoidable, use some of the techniques below to interrupt the flow into daydreaming. Remember: just because something has historically triggered you doesn’t mean it has to forever.

Have Direct Open Dialogues with Yourself

Instead of talking to an imagined person in your head, be direct with yourself. You can do this aloud, or in your head, or on paper. Recently as I started getting into a loop, I paused and asked aloud “Do you want to live in your head or in the present?” and then I laughed. I closed the drawer I had left open from some other task, stood up, and returned to this article. Remember to be kind to yourself. Be silly as you correct course. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world that this is one of your challenges. We all develop tools and techniques that allow us to survive, and if they become maladaptive, hopefully, we replace them with healthier coping mechanisms. The fact that you’re reading this article means you’re on course to do just that!

Just because something has historically triggered you doesn’t mean it has to forever. / Photo Credit: Jr Korpa

Switch Gears Into Analytic Action

If you can successfully switch gears into an analytic action, then you may be able to keep yourself there or at least cut the daydreaming short for awhile. According to National Geographic, daydreaming requires the empathetic part of your brain, and engaging with that part of your brain actually disconnects you from the analytical part of your brain (which helps you make reasoned decisions and focus on cognitive tasks, like getting work done). When executive functioning turns on, your empathetic part of your brain turns off and vice versa, so if you can interrupt the empathetic part even by convincing yourself to do five minutes of some task your procrastinating on, that may be enough to lodge you into that task for longer.

Count in a Foreign Language or Recite a poem

Some tasks are so repetitive that they become easy daydreaming vehicles, like teeth brushing. I don’t know if counting in another language works because it interrupts the empathetic part of the brain but when I deviate a daydream while I’m brushing my teeth into specific, focused language then I short circuit the daydream. It might have to do with it also not being possible to maintain two thoughts at once. Maybe this is also why the narrating aloud technique below also works well.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Be silly as you correct course. Photo Credit: Jr Korpa

Narrate Your Actions

One of my techniques to disarming the maladaptive daydream reflex is when I feel myself drifting into another daydream, I start narrating aloud what I’m doing (first person narrative). If I’m putting things away, and I begin experiencing another place, then I might say “I’m picking up this stool. I’m moving this stool across the room. I’m folding this shirt. I’m picking up these socks.” I usually don’t have to do it for too many sentences before I begin to get more grounded in the room I’m actually in. I think it’s also important to bring yourself back to the “I.”

Track Your Time

This may sound extreme, but it works extremely well for me when I remember to do it. Tracking tasks as I’m doing them by the minute grounds me in the present. If I write 8:04AM and that I’ve begun writing next to it, and I begin writing, I might feel myself drifting off if I start playing a song or receive a text that makes me think about something else, but because I’ve already conscientiously thought about time, I’m more likely to return to my time tracking list to keep pursuing my day. So, I will try to do this as specifically as possible while writing minute details to remind myself: oh, this little task I’m doing isn’t actually what I want to be doing, or if I get lost in tasks for too long, time tracking also helps me curb that.

Example:

6:30–6:59: Woke. Brushed teeth. Read some poetry

6:59–7:27: Edited

7:27–7:39: Showered, dressed

7:39–8:44: Journaled, walked for 18 minutes with Nisaa’s book, started eating breakfast

8:44–8:52: Organized files

8:52: Coffee time!

9:00–9:20: Habit Spreadsheet

9:36–944: Ordered Paper and ink for printer :)

9:44-10:32: Work

10:32–11:15: Read

11:15–11:49: Scheduled upcoming events

11:49–1:09: Worked on literary magazine

1:09–1:28: Reviewed goals

1:29: Read

2:00–2:47: Catch up call with a friend

2:47–3:34: Updated some files

3:40–4:12: Organized papers

4:12 — 6:OO: Work

6:00— 6:40ish: Call

6:40ish-7:09: Showered

7:08–7:29: Work

7:29–8:31: Relaxation; read, listened to music.

It may seem an unreasonable way to spend your day writing tasks while you do them but so is imagining yourself in places you’re not and imagining yourself with people you’re not with. I would rather ground myself by taking some extra time to actively stay in tune with how I spend my time than not complete the tasks I really want to get that are important for my work, my writing, my existence! Some other things you might think about if you try this one: write your daily goals at the top of the page that you’re keeping track of your time on (I recommend three big daily goals like Michael Hyatt suggests). That way you’ll remember where it is you want your day to go. I don’t time track every day (I should), but I do find that even doing it for half the day helps me stay on track.

Talk to Your Doctor

Jayne Bigelson and Tina Kelley wrote an extensive piece for the Atlantic “When Daydreaming Replaces Real Life.” Within that piece, they detailed that one of the most effective medicinal treatments for maladaptive daydreaming is an OCD medication/antidepressant called Fluvoxamine. I’m not a doctor, and my first suggestion isn’t typically medication (here it’s the last), but if you’ve tried all other methods, this might be a fair road to take.

We all deserve to be present in our own lives. Photo Credit: Jr Korpa

Conclusion

Maladaptive daydreaming may feel an embarrassing thing to admit you do. I felt a little embarrassed writing this initially, but then I thought about the consequences of hiding. If what helps me can help others, how can I morally be silent? There’s no shame in identifying the methods by which you survived. Learning to be grateful and accepting of what helped you get to where you are creates more ease as you navigate your way out of these mechanisms into healthier states of being.

We live in a traumatized world, and as my therapist once said: “It’s normal to react abnormally to abnormal circumstances.”

That doesn’t mean you have to stay on that course. You can start where you are and learn a new of way of living. And, I will continue writing articles that support your wellbeing. Follow me here on Medium to stay updated on future posts around trauma, wellbeing, and writing. And please, take care of yourself.

#addiction #maladaptive daydreaming #md #mental health #trauma #ocd #intrusive thoughts #depression #stress #anxiety #imagination #be present

[deeeelightfuldee]

bold what applies I like to consider the idea of getting a PhD.

It scares me to make commitments regarding my future.

Comparing myself to others is the #1 thing that makes me feel upset.

I get really annoying and chatty when I’m scared.

I enjoy memorizing things, be it poems, sequences of numbers, or whatever.

After it storms, it interests me to drive around and see all the downed trees and damage.

I imagine that ordinary things are magical and it makes life more fun.

Sometimes I say things in a stupid accent for no reason.

I love playing and usually win at trivia games.

I am eagerly anticipating receiving something in the mail.

I usually feel shitty after scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed.

Sometimes after hearing a song in a movie scene, I gain a whole new appreciation for the song.

I don’t like it when rooms have walls that are not all the same color.

I hate when there’s a cute guy around and I want him to talk to me but he doesn’t.

I enjoy cleaning out and organizing my iTunes.

I prefer sociology over psychology.

I would describe myself as quite quiet but friendly.

I tend to have dreams where I’m intensely angry more often than I have dreams where I am scared.

I am terrified to ever have to write a college thesis.

Clothes rarely fit me right off the rack. It’s discouraging and annoying.

I will defend the things I love TO THE GRAVE.

I have played the game Skylanders and it’s absolutely adorable and fun.

As cheesy as it sounds, looking into the mirror and saying positive things really helps my self-esteem.

It’s easy for my imagination to get going and I spook myself easily.

It bothers me a bit when celebrities get to write and publish novels.

Bad writing inspires me to write most, because I think, “if people enjoy THAT, they’ll definitely enjoy what I can write.”

I really never want to get pregnant.

I have tried almond milk, rice milk, and soy milk.

Something that bothers me more than when someone says something offensive, is when someone else defends the offensive statement.

I never wanted to be a princess when I was little.

I adore old houses, especially if they’re “haunted.”

I’m terribly embarrassed of my past self.

I love the taste of garlic in food, but garlic breath grosses me out so much.

I really enjoy old horror movies.

I keep on remembering songs I haven’t listened to in years because of Songpop.

^ which is the first Facebook game I have ever enjoyed…

Mikhail Baryshnikov is one of my idols.

English is not my first language, but usually people can’t tell immediately.

I have a secret notebook which no one even knows exists and I would rather die than have anyone read it.

My current roommates are the best I’ve had so far.

Good posture really attracts me in someone of my preferred gender.

^ as do strong, maintained eyebrows.

I can’t really function with an Apple computer, lack of experience with those.

I don’t feel emotions the way ”normal” people do.

I don’t own a soft wallet, mine is plastic.

I tend to date men with power positions when it comes to their jobs.

No matter how hard I try, I seem to be unable to whistle.

Good manners are quite important to me.

I was once very involved in a certain sport.

I actually really enjoy cleaning my ears. hahahaha.

I refuse to eat ketchup on anything.

I often sigh really loudly by accident.

I much prefer the colder seasons to summer.

When I feel extra fancy, I fishtail my hair. It is incidentally the fanciest thing I can do with it.

I am a master at getting along with people when I try, because I am very good at figuring out how they want me to react and what they expect me to say, and if I don’t care about them and can’t be bothered to interact properly, I go into that mode.

I refuse to mow the grass, for some reason it terrifies me.

I get pretty bad season allergies.

I don’t eat pork.

My blood type is O positive.

I have ghostly pale skin.

Singlespeed bikes are my favourite.

I have never used shaving cream in my entire life. I never saw any repercussions.

I feel most people I have met in my life would do better if they toughened up.

I have struggled with drug use in the past.

I have never used a credit card.

This year, I will vote for something on a national level.

There is absolutely no carpet in my flat.

Currently, I have no interest in learning how to drive.

The job I want to do after school is rather uncommon.

One of my favourite drinks is Kvass. :s :s :s

I cook a lot, and enjoy it very much.

I am a daddy’s girl, by far.

My longest relationship was a long-distance one.

One of my favourite bands is Iron Maiden.

I am unable to write in print, I actually have to stop and remember not to write in cursive after every letter.

When I was a child, I had the ”by myself” syndrome and refused any help from anyone to do whatever.

It still hasn’t changed much, haha.

My computer tends to overheat quite often.

Fiddler on the Roof is my favourite musical.

I have an incredibly high alcohol tolerance.

My phone is always dead.

Indian food is my favourite ethnic cuisine.

My mother works in psychology.

My father works in the cooking industry. He also works in the music industry.

I feel very hot at the moment, and I get anxiety when I’m too hot.

I’m pretty picky about things in general.

However, I refuse to pick a restaurant when asked.

I have a piece of jewelry representing a flag on my body at all times.

I used to be pretty active in the survey community, and only just recently came back.

Only one person in my family has had a serious disease such as cancer.

I have no idea how much I weigh.

Or how tall I

1. i am currently on facebook.

2. i like the band maroon 5.

3. I have hugged some of my best buddies today.

4. I have hugged someone I like today.

5. I think Bonzai waterslides are amazing.

6. i put hair clips in my hair almost everyday.

7. Hubba Bubba gum = yum.

8. I think 5 gum is disgusting.

9. I hate when I take a shower, my hair gets my back all wet.

10. It really hurts when someone hits you with a sock!

11. dachshunds are adorable.

12. I have never played chess before.

13. I don’t really care for instrumental songs.

14. i put my ipod on shuffle, but then i end up skipping half of the songs anyway.

15. i love brother/sister relationships.

16. ^I have one with someone.

17. i’m usually invisible on aim.

18. I feel like I repeat myself on every survey.

19. Today was really fun.

20. I am messaging someone through Facebook at this moment.

21. i hate when people become impatient when you are trying to do something.

22. ^Although I do.

23. All that I wanted to hear from you, something of value, something untrue.

24. People never seem to answer on AIM.

25. My cat always walk in front of my computer screen.

26. My cat is sitting on the desk right now.

27. i don’t like it when people come and watch what i’m doing on my computer.

28. i never publish any of my entries to facebook.

29. ^I don’t understand why you would.

30. I enjoy countdown surveys.

[couldbeasong]

1-60 for the ask meme

Ope sorry I did not see this until today. I think I know the one? If it’s not the one you meant just lmk lol

1. Selfie?

You can have this picrew but I wish to be unperceived.

2. What would you name your future kids?

For female names I like: Harmony, Slyvia, Edelweiss, Bethany, and Opal

For male names I like: Uriah, Aiden, Kai, Levi, and Luke

3. Do you miss anyone?

My grandpa and Midnight (old dog)

4. What are you looking forward to?

Going on vacation in a few weeks, the end of the semester, and seeing @calligraphywitch tomorrow

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

@calligraphywitch and my other girlfriend. They’re hilarious lmao

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Romantically? Not really. You kinda gotta just accept it and move on. In the past, always being like: this will never work because of reason xyz helps.

Friendship wise? Absolutely. It depends a lot on the emotional investment I put into the relationship, but I find myself still missing people I haven’t talked to since High School or Middle School.

7. What was your life like last year?

It was weird being a freshman in college and trying to survive. I had a lot of family problems going on along with one of my best friends from High School being on her death bed for a while. A bit of a crisis of faith as well. But we survived, God willing! I miss pre-pandemic times tho

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Ask my brother. I’m sure there’s been an instance.

9. Who did you last see in person?

My grandma across the room from me!

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I hide them so well I can’t even find them!

I like to pretend they aren’t there and repress them a lot but idk if I’m good at hiding them from others per say.

11. Are you listening to music right now?

I’m in a zoom meeting for class, so I guess my professor's voice?

12. What is something you want right now?

Freedom

13. How do you feel right now?

Kinda tired, kinda nauseous, kinda bored. Idk I probably need to drink some water.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Uhhhh idk about a week ago? My last hug was probably a week ago too XD

15. Personality description

I like to think I’m funny

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

I work in customer service- everyday (:

17. Opinion on insecurities.

Everyone is insecure about something. It’s kinda fascinating how even though all of humanity is exactly the same (in terms of our struggles and insecurities, we don’t vary) we still judge others for having them. Confidence is seen as a virtue and the most attainable goal. Society profits off of your insecurities tho so be aware of what they are and don’t let yourself be scammed.

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Certain aspects perhaps. But 2019 is gone. It performed and then it left. It can’t hurt us or help us anymore. There’s little use in dwelling on that and wishing for 2020 to be 2019.

19. Have you ever been to New York?

No, but I swear Ima go one day and see a show on Broadway.

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?

I have like three I’m cycling between rn

When You’re Home from In the Heights

Wake Up by Jenny Owen Youngs

Together by For King and Country

21. Age and birthday?

Old enough to know better and October

22. Description of crush.

He’s super great and super intelligent, not to mention super in love with God. Frankly, he deserves better than me. I gotta lot of self-improvement that needs to happen, but we’ll see what happens XD

23. Fear(s)

Heights, drowning, spiders, super dark streets and rooms, not being good enough

24. Height

5′5″ respectfully

25. Role model

It’s changed through the various stages of my life. Rn tho a few of my Christian online friends

26. Idol(s)

I mean I stan Brian David Gilbert, but I don’t idolize him lol

27. Things I hate

Cheesecake, sickly sweet stuff, when someone grabs the receipt out of the printer even though it’s way more effort for them to do so than for me just to hand it to them and it throws me off of my rhythm, fudge

28. I’ll love you if…

You exist (and even not then because fictional characters just hit different lol)

29. Favorite film(s)

Tangled, Ella Enchanted, Enchanted, Howls Moving Castle, Princess, and the Pauper

30. Favorite tv show(s)

Brooklynn 99, Parks and Recreation, Ouran High School Host Club, My Hero Academia, and Bojack Horseman (I’m going through a phase with it rn lol)

31. 3 random facts

Blue is my favorite color, I own almost nothing in blue, people are better at identifying members of their own race better than members of other races.

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Girls- they’re easier to talk to and approach. Tho I stan and love my guy friends. They are kings.

33. Something you want to learn

Everything? Idk I have an insatiable desire to learn and it switches. Consistently, I want to learn how to make my own clothes, play either piano, guitar, or violin, and detail cars.

34. Most embarrassing moment

Uggg I’m not talking about it and neither is @calligraphywitch

35. Favorite subject

I really enjoyed Statistics as much as I have hated it. My all-time favorite class I have ever taken tho was AP US Literature

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Graduate grad school, get married, travel overseas

37. Favorite actor/actress

uhhh probably Chris Pratt or anyone who was on Parks and Recreation. Tho Broadway actors, I love Christian Borle

38. Favorite comedian(s)

John Mulaney

39. Favorite sport(s)

I miss playing softball and volleyball so prolly those

40. Favorite memory

There are too many to count. But usually, involve good conversations under the stars after 2 AM.

41. Relationship status

Have a picrew of my sister and me. Keep scrolling and mind ya business (jk ily anon)

42. Favorite book(s)

The Bible lol but fictional book wise, I will always love the Warrior Cats series. Red Queen was pretty lit. The Hourglass Door gave me a love for time travel aus lol. And Library Wars is near and dear to my heart.

43. Favorite song ever

You can’t ask me thisssss

Idk Hope is what we crave by For King and Country

44. Age you get mistaken for

24-30 it depends on the context

45. How you found out about your idol

@calligraphywitch

46. What my last text message says

No xD not disney

47. Turn-ons

When you have a musical playing and the end of one song is the start of another so they bleed into each other. CHILLS or when a line of poetry just expresses how someone feels. OR when different parts harmonize just right

48. Turn-offs

When my computer deletes my homework right before it’s done

49. Where I want to be right now

In a little cabin in the woods

50. Favorite picture of your idol

51. Starsign

Scorpio

52. Something I’m talented at

Reading peoples emotions

53. 5 things that make me happy

Music, Friends, Deep Conversations, Hugs, and God

54. Something that's worrying me at the moment

So much to do so much to see

55. Tumblr friends

Friends and mutuals include:

@calligraphywitch @an-assortment-of-forks @repentance-brings-healing @synthetic-blanket-hairs @loneallegiance @boywiththewand @knightof-cups @a-lil-strawberry @linkedwolf @indygo @obnoxioushair

There’s plenty more than that and I love you all ^^

56. Favorite food(s)

Tacos, Crab Ragoons, Salty Foods, RICE

57. Favorite animal(s)

Wolves and cats

58. Description of my best friend

Artistic, beautiful, supportive, hardworking. She is hilarious and an amazing person. There’s so much to the many reasons I love her I just can’t do it in words

59. Why I joined tumblr

Back in the 7th grade, my friends all had one and helped set me up with one. And that’s that.

60. Ask me anything you want

You want nothing ig lol if you want to submit one I can answer it still