#i dont write it but fuck just know thats happening at times also

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

#the outsiders 1983 #darry curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #steve randle #two bit mathews #the outsiders headcanons #greasers #adara curtis #the outsiders incorrect quotes #the outsiders x reader

[scaphismpriest]

Tiktok is a cesspool of ableism against narcissists and usually I shake my head and roll my eyes, but i just saw a Tiktok comment that made my blood boil.

Keep in mind that this was on a cluster B safe post, and someone manages to think its okay to blame abuse on NARCISSISM. I am a person with BPD and NPD, im not going to get personal in my life because this is the internet and not everyone needs to know what ive fucking been through, but i know for damn sure that "narc abuse" is not a fucking thing and generalizes narcissists to be abusers and dangerous people. Sure, you can get abused by a narcissist, but you can also get abused by literary ANYONE, this is why you dont see people say "im suffering from blonde abuse" or "im recovering from christian abuse" because nobody in their fucking right mind would use someones appearance, race, mental health, religon, physical ability, gender, sexuality, ETC as a excuse to label and generalize a group of people to describe abuse. I had a ex girlfriend who would abuse me and she had BPD, I have a mother who also emotionally and verbally abuses me and shes schizophrenic. You dont see me say "im recovering from borderline abuse" or "im suffering from schizophrenic abuse" because that generalizes people with BPD and schizophrenia to be abusers. Do you see the fucking problem here yet? Oh but when its narcissists, or people with "scary mental disorders" like ASPD, then its suddenly okay to label us as scary abusers or dangerous people? Some of You claim to be advocates for mental health but when it comes to us then you suddenly give up because we're "too much for you to waste your time on" or that we're "Hopeless" and "Helpless" if you so called "Empaths", egotypicals, and neurotypicals actually gave a fucking shit about us, you would understand that we've also been hurt, we've been treated like shit and neglected by the world, we bite because we are scared, we are constantly in a battle of self hate and fake ego, we are insecure, we depend on attention and success to survive, we are neglected children at our core. if you really gave a shit about mental health and our well being, i wouldn't be here thinking "wow man i should really rid myself because the world views me as nothing but a monster so therefore i should off myself!" "but you've also hurt people!" I know, I am aware, I've already taken that accountabilty and MAJOR steps into becoming into a better person and have recovered greatly these past months and you dont know or understand me more than the people ive hurt personally, you dont get a say in what happens because thats NOT your ground to stand on and say whatever YOU think and ive had people disrespect that. I am FORTUNATE to even be loved and cared for still by the person ive hurt, and even I myself dont feel like I deserve that such mercy, I am forever grateful but It also makes me truly sad, not for myself, but for the person I love the most. I genuinely cried writing this, this is more so a vent but I hope someone sees this and atleast understand me on a true empathic level, instead of a perception. I hope i dont regret posting this, because this is the most youre gonna see me vulnerable for a LONG time.

#tickle's vents #actually npd #actually narcissistic #actually bpd #actually borderline

[xxcherrycherixx]

Sorry im always making blondie get mad pussy (and occasionally dick) but like also not sorry because its what she deserves <3

#i want to clarify she is only getting it from cupid but like shes getting it A FUCK TON #that includes the dick btw hey have i ever mentioned my cupid sometimes has a dick? whoops- #lets be real girlboss is like legit a shapeshifter? she can dick down her gf if she wants ok. thanks #i dont write it but fuck just know thats happening at times also #remember the future family post where i said cupid would claim infertility and therefore couldnt have kids with blondie? #i was meaning that she could literally impregnate her- #she has always had the option to have a dick and i just kind of forgot to ever mention it #the claiming infertility thing is a lie so blondie wouldnt ask her to do it #because she doesnt want her children to suffer with immortality- #yeah i thought it would be best to clarify this so whenni post something about cupid having a penis yall wont be like PENIS???? WHEN? WHAT?

[stevethehairington]

really fucking sick and tired of people who really fucking love the eddie book jumping on people who don't like or are even remotely critical of it's posts and like crusading their opinions around from the top of their high horses and shoving it down our throats.

if you like the book, great! that's awesome! love that for you! i am genuinely glad that you were able to find good in it and enjoy it!!

but not everyone did, and not everyone is going to agree with you. so, instead of going on some grand crusade where you find every single post that includes anything even remotely negative or negative adjacent or even neutrally critical and spending ALL this time and effort trying to provide unwanted rebuttals to every single thing, maybe you should just stay in your lane and find people who DO like the book and chat about it with them.

because i can PROMISE YOU, none of us appreciate it when you come onto our posts and start accusing us of "hating on" the author or "being rude" about her and her work and RIDICULOUS shit like that.

being critical of something and pointing out it's flaws is NOT inherently hating on it. i, frankly, do not know where people got that notion, but it's not fucking true so can we fucking quit assuming it is? and, critiquing something is also NOT the same as saying this is shit and it sucks and the author is a piece of garbage. again, where the fuck that came from is beyond me. you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. as soooo many of you love to point out, it's not perfect, why should it be perfect? so D U H. of course that means criticism can and should arise???

also. hot take (by which i mean ice fucking cold because it's NOT a fucking hot take), but going around toting FALSE facts as part of your "defense" does not make you or your argument look good. you, like the author, should maybe do a basic fact check first. 🙃

tldr, if you like the book, that's genuinely great, but stay in your fucking lane and stop seeking out posts from people who didn't like it to start shit in the notes.

#flight of icarus #stranger things #this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it #i didn't even hate the book either!! i thought it was just okay #and yet i STILL get all these book lovers jumping down my throat about things i say about the book #things that - HONESTLY are not even like that scathing!!!!! #like god damn all im asking for is a little BASIC effort from the author and they all think thats me asking for her head on a platter #its NOT #i have no problem with the author #she's whatever to me honestly just a vessel through which the book was given to us #ALSO she is some nebulous blob way outside my orbit. AS IN any critiques i have of her and her work are NOT direct assaults on her??? #like i dont fucking KNOW her #im not saying any of this to her face #she is a published writer she should KNOW the risks she is taking when she publishes her writing #not everyone is going to like it! there are going to be people who are critical of it! there are going to be people who hate it! #critiques and pointing out mistakes and wishing for things to have been different is not a fucking direct attack #those things are actually pretty fucking common responses to ANYTHING #and a lot of times theyre actually meant as useful helpful things geared towards improvement and not something to tear someone down with #some people on the internet need to go touch grass and learn how to CRITICALLY THINK again #the world is not as black and white as you think #n e ways. rant over. if you stuck around through all of that kudos to you. i am just. at the end of my rope with this bullshit.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

#another thing i like to do is analyze bad fictional relationships / ones i dont like #both bc it gives me a concise argument / explanation if someone gets on me about it #and bc it helps me understand what makes good romances Good #bc bad relationships make me sit there and ask 'well. what went wrong here? why dont they work? why do i hate this? whats Missing?' #and filling in those gaps teaches me what Does work. what will go Right. why i Love it. what Is there. #sometimes the answer is simply bad writing & after taking a deeper look #i can conclude they they Are good for each other - the show/book just shoved them together with no reason other than #'need romance' or 'boy meet girl' or 'love at first sight' #i mean there are some romances that i look at it and im like 'wow! this should not be happening!' #but i Like it because its interesting enough! a good example is aline & the darkling from the grishaverse #such a fucking unhealthy relationship. really well written. fascinating. hot as hell. important for the story/characters. #i wanted to rip them apart but also glue them together to see how horrible the train crash would be!!!! #absolutely unprompted #so i mean... i think i can rec books that Have good romances in them? but thats not the focus by any means #lemme know... i know im less helpful this time around but i hope im helping a little! #feel free to ask as many questions as you like - ill do my best with all of them

[enough-spider-noir-stuff]

Ah, yes, the difficulties of writing fic closely following ATSV canon. Do I mostly stay true to canon and just shift some motivations and backgrounds? Do I drag things out more, change some things entirely? Will Hobie quit the society the second Miles is on the run, or does he stick it out this time due to "i gotta watch out for this kid" and "he's almost like other-me for real" and "i know where to go potentially so it's not quite as dire to get away now" or does he quit anyways and just keeps showing up with the web-warriors watch driving everyone nuts? WHO KNOWS? NOT ME! doesn't matter whether it's the characters or me we're all having a crisis lmao

#a biscuit's rambles #when multiverses meet au #wmm #i just realised how fast things move in the film #but i think i want to drag out the problems a little more before miles goes missing and hobie quits #i need them to get to know each other. and hobie going okay fuck it thats my little brother now #and miles to start maybe somewhat trusting him #and gwen and pav wondering what the HELL is up #before i have them all mix. also im scared of writing so many characters #like. two hobies two pavs one gwen one to two miles (main) plus also pete noir (and the other noir) and margo and peter b and ham and peni #i think thats it but like thats still A LOT to juggle #and ive never written half of them before ever but i dont want to exclude them and i uaghhhh #i mean ill manage. i have as much time as i want. tehcnically. but #ah what the hell. ill just write and keep reading the script right along and then the characters decide what happens #ill just roll with whatever they wanna do lmao

[haemosexuality]

i think princess bubblegum is (and has pretty much always been) neutral good and marceline went lawful good (before being turned) -> chaotic neutral (obsidian flashback era until the early seasons) -> true neutral (early to mid seasons till stakes) -> neutral good (season 7 until the end of the show) -> almost lawful good (end of the show and fowards)

#i will elaborate in Length if anyone asks me im just too tired to write it all down right now #Please Ask Me. i am Begging you to ask me. #adventure time #we dont know what marcy was like immediately after being turned but i think she was neutral evil. i think my girl deserves to have been #fucked up after what happened to her. and i think she deserves insane amounts of guilt i love it when characters are wrecked by thr Guilt #and i think in the Future (think after finn dies until around the shermy and beth era) she oscillates between #lawful good->neutral good->true neutral and back a lot but she never gets as bad as to warrant the chaotic label or worse #at least not in that time frame. shes fucking immortal so who knows what she goes through and gets up to like idk 5000 10000 years in the #future #also the way im using the alignment chart here is good/neutral/evil are about your Goals and lawful/neutral/chaotic are about your actions #...i cant remember if thats how the alignments actually work but its how i use them #ok i wrote too much im going to sleep

[fivefeetfangirl]

Me clutching my 5 fic wips while not having updated on ao3 since 2021: guys I promise I promise hand on my heart I'm a fic writer I love to write I swear on my grandma's grave I'm a fic writer I write fics

#anyone else feeling stressed out cause theyre not creatikg fast enough?? #i literally feel it everyday especially during the summers like i don't want to sit on my laptop all day when its sunny and warm but i also #wanna write so bad #wait i just realised i wrote that sammy fic this year #and i have made some amvs too actually but theyre kinda lost in the void lol and two of them are from shows #no one on tumblr has watched so i ended up not sharing one of them #also if i did share it everyone would go thats so deancoded yeah i know it is 😭 the song is literally about a giu crashing his chevy dont #you think i think about that song everyday and how its the perfect dean song unfortunately its not in english and i get kinda demotivated #making non english amvs cause I feel people like amvs to songs they know but guys you are.missing out on THEE dean song #anyways might fuck around and make that chevy dean amv sometime we'll see i have so many ideas for amvs and fics rn so only time will tell #whats gonna happen

[strwbrymlkshake]

you lied to me, and ruined everything, and ruined how I approach almost any romantic feeling at all. and all you can describe it as is having fucking beef with me. and you don't even recognize your own actions. you don't even fucking remember them. you aren't phased by it at all. I agonized, had meltdowns over it. losing me, ruining me was just a regular fucking day for you.

#mine #the other day i thought. why is my hatred worth it. why am i continuing with this? #🪳 #why am i continuing with something that happened so long ago. why do i CARE. and this is why. fucking indifference #no amount of fucking sorries will fix it. no amount of i love yous will fix it. #there is nothing you can do for my forgiveness other than die. <- banger post btw i need to make that #and this is just? fucking irrelevant to you? you changed the trajectory of my life forever and you can barely even remember #youre so wrapped up in your sick little romantic fantasy you dont even realize how many people hate you. #all the time i hear it. if so fucking many people hate the both of you and dont want you to be together then its not destiny! #you only stay together because youd be fucking nothing without eachother? so itd be best to just kill yourselves<3 #good evening yangang how are you all today. im balls to the wall batshit insane and about to get a murder charge #also good evening to everyone except terrible pieces of shit who i hate and want dead and who im writing this about. #me when i definitely have an undiagnosed mental disorder but idk what it is for sure so i just say im insane #like definitely BPD but there is something else too i feel like this cant just be one disorder #at this point i dont care if im forever regarded as a shit person because of all this. people dont really like me anyway? except val #shoutouts to val everybody. if they are reading this hii hello bestie #well there is a select few people who like me. but not enough that CARE about me. doomy for example is keeping me going #even if its just through mundane posting like this. i cant believe im liked let alone loved #maybe only my surface level personality is desirable but the more you get to know me the more annoying i am #well they still like me despite the fact im displaying every mental illness everyday on tumblr.com so thats niceys #no person is entirely bad or good. i feel like thats me though. i have so many bad actions. but so many good actions too. two halves #two wolves inside of you and all that business. thats me #also lotto to me to choosing the most shit idiot guys to care about ever this one isnt even responding to my misery #well he never responds to anyone elses misery either. and only mine if directly asked. #hes too much of a puzzle for miserable me to figure out. #well im done being angry here u go here's the post

[bee-ina-boat]

idk if this is an autistic thing or whatever but oh my god why is writing so HARd? like, im afraid of constantly implying things other than what they mean

"does this sound like im demonizing mental illness?"

"what if this makes it seem like i think the answer to struggling with mental health is suicide?"

"what if this relationship comes off as toxic,"

"does this seem like x character is trying to fix y? what if it reads like x is being manipulated to try and help y?"

"did i accidentally give x a savior complex?"

"does y come off as an abuser just because they did bad things out of desperation? what if giving y a happy ending ends up feeling like abuser sympathizing?"

"how do i make y's character arc without it feeling like they suddenly realized something obvious and were fixed magically"

writing is hard

#ok context #y is being consumed by a godlike power that is overwhelming their mind to the point they have trouble controlling it #its like being stuck in perpetual overstimulation with frequent meltdowns and since they have god powers that can cause alot of damage #x was friends with y but then shit happens and x decides they want y to go away but y doesnt know how to handle that and instead lashes out #blah blah blah they seperate and plot happens #everyone just thinks y is a brat throwing tantrums for not getting what they want but then x realizes the truth thru some magic shit #more plot #x ends up saving y from losing themselves in the confusing hellscape of their mind #x wants to help y heal but thats hard because no one can fix y's mind they just have to work through it. the end #originally the ending was gonna be x takes away all of y's pain and then y decides they want to reincarnate to get another chance at a life #buut 1. that may be a bad message and 2. i dont want to get rid of this character because i love them and i want them to have a healing arc #but i also dont want it to seem like x has a savior complex and is gonna magically fix y #and also y literally had a bad codependency with x before their friendship got ruined and i feel like this would be bad too? #so i THINK im gonna go for an outcome where x does what they can but still keeps boundaries and encorages y to help themselves more #and y will make more friends and learn how to exist without being in mental anguish all the time #idk maybe some other characters will help and come up with a solution so y doesnt have to deal with chaos in their brain all the time #but anyway do yall UNDERSTAND??? #I FEEL LIKE IM OVERCOMPENSATING AND NOT COMPENSATING ENOUGH AT THE SAME TIME #HOW DO I WRITE NATURALLY AND NOT BE AFRAID OF MISCOMUNICATION #FUCK #.txt #autism #actuallyautistic

[tragicomedys]

nge is so

#Anyway i started watching nge like a couple days ago #watching nge is such a particular experience bc like. the reason why im hooked on it isnt necessarily bc i need to know what happens next #or because its super suspensful or anything. the reason why im hooked on watching the next episode is bc im just desperate for the next bit #of shinji or rei emotion to be shown dog. Like every episode is like Ok. Anyway When r we going to talk about shinjis deteriorating mental #health. #also i dont really like the writing style somehow. like. something about the way nge is written is very tedious to me i cant put my finger #on it. but the story is nice and i really like some characters. shinji and his two buddies r everything 2 me. #but anyway the fucking. white haired dude showed up and like second scene in Boom hes like shinji i love you. #Bro? OK? HELP #HELP ME #thats where i am in the show so far #also im like. lost. for the most part. Like most episodes im lost cuz i think a big way suspense is written in #is by showing some shit happening or whatever and not give the full details so like the audience would be super interested on whats goin on #and so we try to find out whats happening. but im like a little too confused at times. so it doesnt feel suspenseful it just feels like. Oh #What . what just happened whats that mean #which is unusual for me usually i pick up on whats happening in a show fast but IDK #I HAVE LIKE. SIMULTANEOUSLY 0 THOUGHTS AND ALL THE THOUGHTS ON NGE SO FAR #ITS STRANGE. STRANGE LITTLE SHOW THUS FAR. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED....? #💭.txt #Idk none of my friends are into nge so. i would love to talk 2 somebody about nge

[mantisgodsdomain]

Winning a prize personally by being someone's "well, this trope isn't usually my style, but i know this author is Really Good at writing so i'll check it out anyways" author

#we speak #if you are the person we're talking about here: points at u. <3<3<3 #at some point we will post works that are slightly more fluffy #but unfortunately you will have to deal with the fact that we fucking love morally dubious idiots and we also fucking love Situations #at all times we are looking between our works where bad things happen and our works where its just a passive Emotion Swirl #and then picking Bad Things Happen bc we think its fun #eventually we will get around to fluffier stuff we're just allergic to not swirling in a few bonus emotions #we are sorry but we have tried! we cannot write straight fluff. we need smth extra to make it interesting #otherwise our brain simply Does Not latch on #we salute the brave fluff makers out there for being capable of creating straight up fluff its not generally our style and we dont know #how to make it #is it really a tender moment if u do not get there through daring ur friend to eat u while still like 50% sure u might die #perhaps with a tiny bit of the impulsive want of “if im going to risk death then its gonna be at the claws of someone i love” #we think not. also bc something something love we find the need to note our vi is Very Aro. this is due to The Aro Anxiety #us writing anything about love: but what if they think its... ROMANTIC??? oh gods the horrors the horrors #that said we do not think team snakemouths relationship fits into any relationship definition #and if we ever write a relationship chart for whatever reason their dynamic will be listed as “team snakemouth” #right next to mothiva and zasps “in love and incapable of not being weird abt it” and levi and celias “married (immigration purposes)" #they sure are team snakemouth. people look at them and go “thats team snakemouth all right”. #you could ask thirty different people and get thirty different answers as to their relationship and they would all be wrong #anyways. we've derailed somewhat. we are part of the *checks* #...77.1% of the whump community that is aspec and we like to do funky fresh pain things #alas it is one of the many things that must be tolerated about us and our writing. however if u follow us ur probably fine #we are most obnoxious on our tumblr blog where u have to choose to enter bc we are secure in the knowledge that u can leave at any time #we dont need to tone ourself down here! theres a bunch of buttons u can use to choose our volume for urself! its fucking great! #gods we love being obnoxious on the internet it is SO much fun. more people should do this #its also fun to post things abt fics that we may not finish for months at a time. we love to do that #we will get around to all of our works eventually but the wait will be Long. in the meantime u get to see us talking abt how cool we are

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#today has been a day. as in time did pass. the earth rotated. and i accomplished very little #bc im just feeling paralyzed and not so good. and i guess thats understandable #like i understand y its happening but its not any less frustrating. mostly its just knowing that i have to make life altering decisions in #the next few weeks. and the pressure of: if i dont decide to go for this one project then they dont get a student and they dont get funding #that makes me pretty nauseous. and knowing i have an interview Thursday that im not ready for and i dont really wanna do #and its a product of not talking to people like a human being. like i just dont interact with people much. when im in the lab i mostly #stand around looking unapproachable or go in when i kno there's no one there and i just dont have close friends so i dont really talk to or #text anyone. i just work and fail to get things done. so then when im in a situation where i have to talk to ppl its all anxious shrapnel #or me dominating the conversation bc i cant stand the pauses and i have so much obsessivly rotatinf in my head. and i hate it. im so sick #of hearinf my own voice but no one talk in the way i want them to. i get so bored. and i want to ask pressing and uncomfortable things but #i kno i shouldnt. but i also dont really have a filter so ill just say fucking whatever. which is what i did Saturday when a triggering #topic of conversation arose. so now my lab mate officially knows too much. but whatever wtf is he gonna do abt it. i just get so annoyed #bc now its in my head. thr fact it set me off and that i overshared and that now its in my head. annoying. #and it doesn't help with the writing things i need to finish. bc i dont like feeling like ive done something wrong and one of the reviewers #has good points. which also probably means ill have to redo my 8 days of measurements so far #but i also might b able to shorten the timeline so idk. just a lot is happening rn and i feel the pressure and by brain doesn't like #pressure. and not doing things rn is not good. things need to be done #so idk i dont feel good but it makes sense. by the end of February hopefully things will b figured out #and i should sleep and hope for a better tomorrow #unrelated

[ethereiling]

surely fatigue so bad i can barely stand and my heart rate spiking when im just sitting here is fine. surely. 

#avpswjy #im so tired lmao #this is the second time in like 2 months that ive had to take multiple days off work bc of debilitating fatigue #i dont even know whats wrong with me #ive always assumed its mental health and thats for sure an aspect but idk if something else is going on #and i dont have the time or money to figure it out #but also i cant easily keep working like this and if i cant work i am truly fucked #i just want to be able to live #society if i could make a living off of art or writing rn #but i dont have the skills rn and i dont have the time/energy to build skills or a portfolio #i have to say. got deeply terrified yesterday bc ive never had fatigue so bad #it was almost impossible to drive and thats never happened before #me looking at the fatigue scale like haha that was a 9 or 10 :) nice :))))) #today its like..... 7 or 8 maybe #i really need to be able to sit down at work again but im terrified of asking for that accomodation bc what if i get fired lmao #esp since i dont have any diagnosis that justifies it

[earlyspringtranscendence]

accidentally started re reading arcane ascension & now i’m thinking abt an arcane ascension wrestling au. corin & sera youngbucks type beat. corin hates it deeply and wishes instead that he could be like hook but unfortunately corin is by no means cool enough to be hook

#corin you're a loser and a nerd you tag w ur sister and thats IT #but actually the feud that could happen btwn a faction of the cadence family v the new faction of corin & sera #like magnus cadence sends corin out to go train and be better with sera they join up with fucking uhhh #god what is his name. see this is the problem w audiobooks absolutely 0 sense of what someones called. hold pleae #DEREK thats the boy anyway they join w derek its all good and well then magnus wants corin back n like #gets voiceofthetower (once again i do not know names) to whisper mean things in corins ear #abt how theyre his Real family and he'd never be good enough to be part of sera's family #also at some point keras accidentally stumbles into the hartigan faction he really has no idea how he got there but doesnt leave #everyones like WOW fucking KERAS SELYRIAN is taking these youngins under his wing !!! #in reality its derek who's taking all of them under his wing and keras was just kinda in the wrong place at the wrong time #and now he has children #(ough keras' Storied Past could be such a moment too. i still havent read the last book in his series but ugh <3) #his series being like. weapons and wielders i mean. cause ive read broken mirrors #ANYWAY. last thing i'll say on the matter for now is the lord teft face turn we're all patiently waiting for in canon anyway #like i feel like at this point he's made it there but yk. #dont magnus and teft know each other ??? the face turn of teft beating the shit out of magnus w his cane ugh <3 love it <3 #hey mr rowe are you interested in writing about wrestling for a bit? i love you #recently read #<- putting it in that tag bc that tag really only exists cause of AA it might as well be my AA tag in general #OUGH . KERAS & PATRICK TAG TEAMING . OGUH !!!!

[hearties-circus]

Had that weird fucking dream agsin

#gamer txt. #so much shit happens in it i cant even explain it #but like. (and this is skipping out an all the context btw) me n this lady had to find the book we were reading and cross our names out- #-or we'd be stuck in. fucking hell i guess? forever but getting closer to the book makes us see our dismembered limbs everywhere and makes- #-ourselves look gorey if we see our reflection and honestly the gore is a bit much i mean thats why getting to the book is a struggle #notable differences this time around though: 1. i wasnt alone obv. i dunno who that lady was but having a pal was nice #(she also seemed to know what she was doing?) #2. the pkmn battle at the beginning i lost super hard for some fucking reason and it was a double battle with 4 shinies for some reason too #(is shiny arbok yellow? also dont worry about the pkmn i guess the dreams are set in that universe but its not important) #3. i had canonically already been there and put my name in the book. like ive had the dream b4 and it knew that but the me in the dream- #-didnt. or did rather i did i had to write my name again but i didnt know what would happen #and when crossing out my name this tine i saw the first name wasnt crossed out? so either first time around i escaped differently or i- #-just died i guess? #either way weird fucking dream