#i dont have. a lot of options to choose from. haha

[tortademaracuya]

*spongebob's hawaiian cocktail playing* I'm gonna end up texting first like always aren't I

#bro i feel so lonely 😭 #if i text this one friend and actually say yes im most likely gonna feel even shittier afterwards like always but like #i dont have. a lot of options to choose from. haha #:( #i wish i still had people that wanted to hang out with me i have to do everything lately #and i feel like such a burden asking people to put up with me #i passed near an ex friends house today so im feeling too nostalgic ig #tengo que levantar la pala de una buena vez asi no tengo tiempo para nada. ni para sentirme mal #haunted.txt #i do all the reaching out on this one friendship in particular #be it trying to check on her. just talk or visit #i dont mind going to buenos aires but it would be nice if we could hang out here sometimes #and I KNOW she comes here sometimes. she just never wants to see me in particular when she does :( #she always has other stuff going on the few times we hang out so she will either be ignoring me #or doing whatever else she needs to do while i wait outside or drag behind her #which i dont mind usually! i love acompanying friends to do whatever tasks they need to do #but when i see a friend i had to travel 2 hours to get there and we see each other maybe two times a year #it would be nice if at least i could talk to them for more than 5 minutes you know :) #im probably complaining about stupid stuff

[musubiki]

I forgot if you talked abt this, but does the whole "being on the same level as mochi" thing ever come up in honest conversation between them? Seems like an entire...thing that really influences lime's choices when it comes to the main conflict. I would think either some time after mochi's over her initial jealousy, or heck wayyy after they stop the witch king

oooo youre right i dont think ive talked much about it or at all.,... but YEAH a very key part of limes character is his need to be on the same level as her...partly a pride thing, partly a "i dont feel like i have the right to stand beside her unless i can compete with her" thing

(sorry for the long post rambles, apparently i have a lot more thoughts on this than i thought it did)

but actually this comes up WAY sooner, its WAY too big of an elephant in the room post-timeskip to go un-talked about. pre-timeskip lime could kind of quietly work away at trying to be better, but post-timeskip the m-34th thing is too obvious of a flag for mochi to think everything is okay with him

i think the issues really starts to be hashed out when mochi, at some point (relatively quickly after they reunite), brings up the notion of him quitting the m-34th. to an extent she understood why he joined, he gave her a bunch of reasons why he joined the regiment in the first place (jumping around a bunch of excuses like "They have good benefits" / "I was bored" / etc before finally telling her the truth that "I wanted to find you"), but what she didnt understand is why he stays in

she gave it a bit of time, they went through the whole "well you left me" vs "you joined the organization that exists to kill us" -> "call it even, water under the bridge" thing, and she thought that after a few weeks (months?) he would quit and just be part of her guild again, but he doesnt.

and when she asks him about it, he dodges the question, gives shit answers, dismisses it, a bunch of different things with the underlying message being "I'm not leaving you, but I'm not gonna quit working for them."

and she doesnt want to give him the "choose me or them" ultimatum either (even though pom seems all for it), because 1.) it feels like a shitty thing to do to him, if hes fighting this hard to stay in she doesnt want him to be unhappy, and 2.) shes afraid he might actually choose them

she starts to think a lot of things, that maybe he harbors some bitterness towards her, maybe he doesnt want to put all his eggs in one basket, maybe hes secretly feeding them information on her behind her back, ALL kinds of things.

eventually (and upsettingly) she gets the truth from clarinette. it takes fucking clarinette babbling her mouth away for mochi to get something that she hasnt gotten from lime himself. clarinette (in her delulu) wants to brag a little in the vein of "Haha he confided in me and not in you haha," and mentioned that when she asked him why he stays, he told her "The m-34th makes me stronger" or something along those lines.

and mochis first thought is "I can make him stronger too, he doesnt need to go to them."

and when she CONFRONTS him and tells him this, he gives her a flat "No, you can't." and it FEELS very cold when he says it. she can see the bitterness (bitterness???) behind his eyes when he says it. and its not a bitterness TOWARDS HER, its more of a "I spent 2 years before you left trying everything I could to make myself worthy of you this, and it did nothing. I would take 1 step forward and you would take 5. I'm not going back to that."

so this confrontation became one of those make it or break it conversations for lime, because his only two options were 1) tell mochi the actually pretty embarrassing and pathetic truth, or 2) risk losing her because shes already doubting him enough as it is

i think he probably tries route 2 first though. and whatever it is he tells her, he can see something in her eyes (mistrust? failing faith? fear?) which tells him "Oh no, oh shit, oh god, backtrack you idiot, BACKTRACK!!!" because if he lets this narrative go on for even a few minutes more, hes not going to be able to come back from it.

so he eventually actually does tell her the truth!! and he hates doing it. he really does feel pathetic. its so petty and stupid, he thinks. he shouldnt be trying to compete with the cat witch, hes supposed to be supportive. but he fucking hates being ONLY supportive. he wants to add something, contribute something meaningful, not just be a little accessory/sidekick to mochi.

and (as already mentioned) he cant do that without the m-34th. pre-timeskip he felt useless. and relative to mochi, he was. she wont say it, but she didnt need him. she would reassure him and tell him "You're amazing Lime!" but deep down she knew that after Amanita was dealt with and she was the full-fledged cat witch, she could do all of it on her own (and proves it when she leaves and takes none of them with her). she liked having him there (obviously), but anything he could do she could do better.

he felt like he just took up space, and when she left without telling him or taking him with her, it essentially proved his point. it was not even just a "I dont need you" thing anymore, it was now a "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" and that fucking HURT.

the m-34th though....those guys really honed the shit out of his strengths. on an insane level. they gave him so many skills and tools as a black canvas to do SO MANY THINGS and SO WELL, and maybe this does bring up some resentment to the guild and magic?? that he had so much untapped potential that mochi could just not bring out in an effective way, it essentially bottlenecked him (not her fault, its hard to build the talents of an anti-magic person by using magic).

but these guys...as "bad" as they are (so the witches say), they gave him (and still give him) the power to change that which he hated about himself the most. so that "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" thing can finally FINALLY be met with "Yeah you do, and yeah I fucking can."

so all these feelings manifest as "I won't leave the m-34th because they make me strong enough to stand by your side and not at your feet." AND THEY DO!!!!!! and he probably doesnt say those words directly but everything he DOES say communicates it enough for mochi to see it

(and he probably tells her all of this. she just listens)

so mochi, eventually, understands this. it took the whole pre-timeskip period and some of the post-timeskip period to get there, but she understands him a little more now (and a side of him she didnt know was there). i dont think theres anything she can do to change this aspect of him, but she at least understands his reasons and respects his freedom to pursue that which gives him peace, even if it conflicts with her uh.....occupation (nature?) as a witch. she also can tell him, without any lies or nice little reassurances that "You really are amazing, Lime." in a way she could never be, and he got there on his own, without her. i think shes happy just to know the truth, and know that hes not like betraying her or something. also she probably finds it kinda sweet that he works so hard to stand by her, but tries not to let it go to her head (or her heart) because at least half of it is a lime pride thing and not a mochi love thing

he also throws in a very lime-esq ending on it like "There I said it happy now??? Never make me talk about this again." while completely red-faced. he really does hate this side of himself but he cant help it.

#LONG ASS POST!!!!! sorry #good question....thats a lot of thoughts.. #bpp #text #lore #he is a lot less riddled with anxiety post-timeskip #a lot more confident #and she does notice that #he gets a lot more cocky. much like when they were younger #contrasted to how uhhhh humbled he got pre-timeskip #she likes this version of him better honestly #pre-timeskip he wasnt as....happy #which sucks #you can genuinely see how the confidence boost the m-34th gave him changes his mood

[chaotic-archaeologist]

hey i followed u for archaeology but since you seem to be open to sex ed questions i thought i'd shoot haha.

so i'm a trans guy, i don't have bottom dysphoria, i would like to use my vagina during sex for bottoming. but i have vaginismus. real bad. and possible vaginal atrophy. not looking to treat it with advice from this blog, not coming here for medical assistance, but to put it simply there is no way i can use that thang. hole is closed for business. even to pinky fingers. that shit hurted.

i can and have topped, and bottomed for anal sex. so that's not an issue. i'm open to doing those things. but damn it i would like to use my pussy once in a while and just can't. and i have virgin-adjacent prowess / confidence / experience in sex so i'm bad at communicating my needs and wants.

you got any.. i dont know.. tips? advice? for telling a potential partner that the front hole's off limits without making them think im unsexy? the anxiety's so bad i've fully rejected people i really liked for serious relationships, and turned down hookups, because some part of my brain thinks i'm not worth having sex with if my partner can't use my vagina. especially since testosterone has given me "abnormal" anatomy that i only trust other trans people with and being t4t means i get a lot of people who expect vagina from me, who i then have to disappoint.

this is a stupid specific question so i apologise it isn't really general sex ed but i guess i just need some communication tips because i dont even know where to start.

Okay, first off, I'm sorry that it's taken me a while to respond to this, but I wanted to really think about my answer. Also, for the record: this is always the kind of sex ed question that I am willing to answer. I think more people need to be willing to talk about this sort of stuff.

The primary thing I want to address is wherever you're getting your definition of normal, both in terms of anatomy and sexual function. Because the circumstances you describe are wholly within the realm of 'normal experiences' for people who have a vagina. Vaginismus, vulvodynia, and vaginal atrophy are not relegated to trans men. You are not abnormal. There is nothing wrong with you.

A lot of the porn out there featuring trans men does have them receiving vaginal penetration. Porn is not a representative sample of the population. Do not let porn define what sex is for you.

Personally, my advice would be to treat this as a litmus test for potential sexual partners. If someone wants something and doesn't care/is put off that it hurts you, that is not a person you want to be having sex with. If someone is "disappointed" because you won't receive vaginal penetration, that is their fucking problem, not yours. There are so many things you can do that do not involve vaginal penetration—be excited about those!

As for bringing this up with potential partners, I'm a big advocate for early and honest communication. If it looks like you might be getting down and dirty with someone, you can just say something along the lines of "hey, heads up, but I don't do vaginal penetration/front hole is closed for business/etc." If you really want to get ahead of the issue, you could even put this in your bio on various apps.* *You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you can choose to elaborate as to why.

I'll also point out that there's a halfway option here. It is totally valid to say "look, I am into this thing (vaginal penetration) in concept, but not in physicality." You can talk about it. You can text about it. You can do these things while you're doing other stuff! It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

To me, it sounds like you have 100% of the necessary components for having sex: the desire to have sex in the first place, activities that you can/do enjoy, and a willing partner. That's it. That's all you need.

You are worth so much more than what a single part of your body can/can't offer. Sex does not equal any sort of penetration, vaginal or otherwise. Find someone you trust, get creative, and don't be afraid to enjoy yourself.

-Reid

#he speaks #sex advice #sex education #sex ed #transgender

[arcadekitten]

hello ak!

your post about noisrevian anatomy is super interesting!! its really cool to find out how they work and look and reproduce etc etc

i just had a question or two about the reproduction part? hopefully this doesnt come off as weird!

first off, how does a pregnancy end if noisrevians dont have any orfices? i personally imagine it a bit like the baby cutscene in sims where they spin around and suddenly just have a baby in their arms, but that probably isnt it haha!

second of all, since asexual reproduction doesnt really require male and female genomes, why do noisrevians need them? ive researched a bit and found out that theres like a ton of possibilities with asexual reproduction, like meiosis and mitosis and whatnot, so i was just curious what made you choose the option you did!

Honestly the sims baby animation is so cute it's hard not to feel tempted to just go with that 😭Unfortunately I did imagine medical assistance is necessary!

While I'm still not 100% on this, I made a sort of infographic to try and explain how I think it works as I think words alone might be too confusing!

For your second question, even though there's different types of asexual reproduction I could've went with, I wanted Noisrev to have family dynamics similar to the kinds we have on Earth! I wanted most characters to have at least 2 parents (even if they never know or meet them) and be able to take traits from both of them, having the potential of creating lots of interesting conflict and scenarios! It offers a lot more for me to be creative with or play around with in terms of story-telling, at least in the way I like to tell stories.

On top of that, I also have characters who are more explicitly asexual. And while Noisrevians don't follow any sort of Earth-reproduction process, I feel as though it's important for them to have some parallels to our real world to have their identity hold more weight in their world. Not being interested in a reproductive process that requires more than one person to accomplish helps in solidifying these characters identities, at least for me.

#lore #noisrevverse #ask

[nykloss]

stumbled across some of your posts about a code lyoko ttrpg

i am interested please tell me more 😭

ive been wanting to run code lyoko dnd for so long but i dont have the smarts to change dnd to make it feel code lyoko

Hey there! I'm super excited that someone's interested in this because it's such a passion project of mine haha, I'm sorry in advance if this answer is more than you bargained for!

To give you the rundown, I ran a very brief and experimental dnd 5e hack for Code Lyoko a couple of years ago for some friends. It was a lot of fun, but the system was SO badly Frankenstein'ed that we ran into a lot of technical issues, especially regarding the Lyoko/reality split and how it effected different builds. The old guide for that hack can be found here for free, but please take note that it is very informal and poorly optimized!

Recently though, I've been experimenting with non-dnd systems and building my own tabletop games, which is where Warriors of Xanadu comes into play. (This might get lengthy so feel free to skip to the TLDR.)

Warriors of Xanadu is a code-lyoko/garage-kids inspired system that I'm working on myself with the help of a few more experienced friends. It's built off of the Apocalypse World framework (basically a 2d6 system–if you've played Monster of the Week, Masks, or Avatar: Legends, think something like that) specifically designed to work well with the world and story CL provides. That means all the gameplay mechanics are inherently relevant to running code-lyoko-inspired adventures and there's no extra work to be done on your part. It's also a lot easier to teach/learn than something like DnD. (Even the character sheets are designed to be accessible so players could technically make their character with just their printed-off sheets and no additional resources! Much easier than dnd.)

Each non-GM player plays as a "Hero" and chooses a unique combination of a playbook (centered around academic character tropes like cool kid, geek, class clown, etc.) and a class sheet (how they appear on "Xanadu," with options like rogue, mage, warrior, etc.). Then, In-game, heroes go through episodic challenges where they encounter problems in reality caused by "the Virus," and must transport themselves to Xanadu to combat it. There's also a handful of original mechanics relating to social/academic rapport, corruption from the supercomputer, etc. The health/harm system and combat is inspired by Apocalypse World and Monster of the Week, and is meant to inspire a more survival/horror element than what something like dnd would provide. (Essentially the goal is not to engage in and "win" lengthy combat encounters, but to stay alive and usually avoid enemies when possible.)

I feel it's also important to note that it's not 1:1 Code Lyoko; it's very transformative and a handful of ideas are heavily abstracted to be more fun in a ttrpg setting. It's open-ended and customizable enough that you could technically run an unrelated story with it. That also means that there's some fun surprises for folks familiar with Code Lyoko, though, and you could still run something close-to-canon if you wanted.

The first draft of WoX is about 60-70% completed, I just need to finish the GM-heavy parts of the manual, finish some of the moves, and actually put together fillable playbooks/class sheets. I'm hoping to have it completed and ready to playtest by the end of the summer, but that's a loose deadline. Once I've done some playtesting and gotten feedback from others, I'll probably release the first public version on drivethru rpg and/or itch.io as a free or PWYW sorta deal.

TLDR; Warriors of Xanadu is a powered-by-the-apocalypse style trrpg system I'm working on. It's made from the ground up to support a Code Lyoko inspired campaign. I'm almost done with it but still have some work to do!

If you're comfy coming off of anon, I'd be happy to make note of you and send you the playtest version when I'm done with it, or answer any additional questions! (Same goes for anyone else reading this!)

#code lyoko #garage kids #nyklos is typing #wox ttrpg #sorry this is a lot I just love talking shop about ttrpgs and I never have a chance to tell people about WoX

[6ftkyle]

hi hi!! was just wondering the appeal of k2 gen question haha please lmk i would love to read more about this i’m so curious lol!!

oh boy, well, good news for you, I love to justify why i love k2 so much!

for me personally, i guess it's not super related to anything in canon. they have a few small moments here and there, but i dont think i could point you in the direction of any "K2 episodes" or anything. its just like, the potential of a relationship between them that really makes me nuts (positive).

at their core, kenny and kyle are both people who fundamentally want to take care of people around them. i see it most in how they interact with their younger siblings (the karen/mysterion dynamic, kyles everything in 'miss teacher bangs a boy''), so i call it the big brother instinct.

for kyle, hes a busybody who goes out of his way to take care of most of the people around him. he's not always nice about it (the way he treats stan in 'raisins', for example), but he does act out of what he thinks is the best interests of people around him. he wants to guide people to what he thinks is best. on the flipside, i dont think he accepts help well. his mom's pretty smothering in the ways she thinks she's protecting him and it makes kyle reject care from others because he'd rather handle things on his own.

kenny, he's a little more selective. he's not that protective of his friends, but i like to think he's protective of those most important to him and that would extend to a crush / partner. when it comes to the reverse, kenny has never particularly had caregivers he could depend on. his parents don't take care for him, his own big brother is a negligible presence in his life, the other adults of south park don't seem to notice or care how the mccormick children are cared for. he's simply HAD to be the caregiver out of necessity. he's never been afforded a moment to let someone else take care of him because it's never been an option.

and that creates a central conflict for K2. two people who want to give care, but aren't good at accepting care for varying reasons. they have to learn how to let their guard down and let the other take care of them every now and then. makes for a lot of good tender moments that i very much enjoy when shipping characters.

there's also smaller things, that i dont think are really worth a big grand explanation or anything. i think there's some really good romeo & juliet vibes if you choose to believe that gerald and stuart still hate each other (esp if you, like me, think that kyle's relationship with gerald is a bit strained and he enjoys that gerald hates that his bf is a mccormick).

there's a bit of 'opposites attract' in there for me too. i like to think kenny grows up to be a bit of an impulsive free spirit (his actions dont have consequences, if he dies, he'll be back in the morning, he doesn't have to be careful or deliberate in his actions), whereas kyle overthinks everything he does and he's super pragmatic. as a couple, he grounds kenny from his silly-goofy antics but kenny also forces him to loosen up. kyle will indulge him and be a little silly goofy with him, while kyle reigns him in from the worst of his impulsive behaviors.

also kysterion with kyle being the medic and the guy in the chair to mysterion's supering antics? well i eat that shit up. that's just a superhero shipping dynamic that i love in almost any instance.

and lastly, its also just a lil bit of nostalgia for me! im ancient, ive been in and out of south park fandom since like 2005 and k2 was one of the first ships i really got invested in. reading k2 fics on deviantArt is actually how i made my first ever fandom friend. i lost touch with them a while ago and most of their stuff has been deleted or put in their dA storage, so i can't revisit it, but it's still a dear memory for me.

the short version is because there's not a whole lot of canon stuff to go off of, i get to inject a lot of headcanons and projection and cater it specifically to what i like.

#kzpost #k2

[homestuckredo]

WHEN WILL HE REST?! Like a BOSS Hussie continues to shell out day after day. And thanks to the chat logs we may have more info than ever. TG: turntechGodhead EB: ectoBiologist (John) TT: tentacleTherapist (we havn't met yet, but uses she/her) TG: is it there TG: plz say yes TG: maybe you can play with TT shes been pestering me all day about it TG: shes mackin on me so hard all the time i start to feel embarrassed for her TG: i mean not that i can blame her or anything EB: yes, it is understandable because you are really attractive. i am attracted to you. TG: thank you EB: jk haha. EB: no, i don't have it yet.

ok, so first off, TG def has 'borrowed' their confidence from someone else. Acting cool and wise to seem more mature. 100% 'youngest in the household' behavior. And since they mentions a 'Bro' we can assume that is either a biological big brother, or an adult mentor (thing Big Brother/ Big Sister Group) that they want to impress.

I'm also starting to think they are younger than John (maybe 9 or 10) and are trying to hide that by acting like they are more mature. Like: TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah

Immediately backtracks into what the other party's stance is. Either they are a LOT younger, or they have some SEVERE social anxiety and are masking. Or both. could be both.

Then we have the meant and potatoes of update. Strife Specibus.

This is the Kind Abstrata, and it looks like all the types of weapons allowed to be equipped. TG mentions you can only ever choose one, but he's also an unreliable narrator so who knows. John chooses hammers, which is a solid choice TG: hope you like hammers dude! EB: yeah, that's fine i guess. i can't imagine it's going to be all that relevant.

Something tells me it's gonna be relevant. At the very least violence is now an option.

#homestuck #homestuck replay #31-39 #hs #homestuck redo #john egbert #turntechgodhead #strife specibus

[jotun-design-party]

Hey I was wondering, by your example of the harmful design does what if! Loki sort of follow this harmful trope? I know this is based on aos loki but just as an example that kind of thing.

And also I’ve seen a lot of jotnar portrayed with minimal clothing and mostly only armor in like canon media not just fanon and I thought that was purely because they are more immune to the cold and don’t need to try and get warm but I may be mistaken. Are you saying that is also harmful or just if it is sexualized?

These questions are purely just to understand your meaning and not to be critical or anything! Thanks so much! This event looks super fun!

hi, yes! good [timezone.] no worries, i'm very happy to answer questions & please forgive if my syntax is weird today, i have a chronic disability which causes some brain fog during flare-ups so my sentence structure might not be the most elegant. i WAS given a superpower to counter this (a disability which, for our purposes here, i will sum up as "it makes my vocabulary big") but for the sake of clarity i'll be responding with a bit of a shortened version of all of my thoughts so that it makes a little bit more sense. i can go more in-depth at a later time if needed

under the cut, summary:

What If jötnar are not nearly AS bad as a lot of the jötun art i've seen in fanon and canon so it gets a very hesitant green-light from me. and also the issue with putting jötnar in minimal clothes is that artists still tend to choose to dress them in clothing items that are associated with racist and offensive depictions of real-life people

+ some of my personal ideas about what jötnar might wear

the jötnar in What If do rely on some of the same antiblack and anti-american indigenous stereotypes that we see in the comics but their designs aren't NEARLY as caricature-y as the comic book designs are and they do a better job at making it look like something an alien would wear. still bad, but not NEARLY as bad as the comics, i'd give it a very hesitant green light

the main issue with jötnar being depicted in minimal clothing is that oftentimes, the artists choose clothing specifically related to these racist stereotypes to evoke imagery of the Assumed lifestyle of both the jötnar and the real life people who are affected by the stereotypes. this is an obviously satirical example because my brain isn't working well enough to think of a more genuine one, but it wouldn't be a problem if someone drew their jötnar to be running around in heart-print boxers pin-up posing, you know? the issue is largely that people make the choice to draw them in long sheer skirts draped with gold like orientalist stereotypes of women, or in loincloths and furs and bone piercings in their noses.

basically there are all sorts of ways to visually get across their cold immunity, and have them dressed minimally, without putting them in skirts and loincloths and stuff

----- the stuff down here ⬇️ are just my personal thoughts and dont have any bearing on the actual contest, just some of my ideas that you can read for fun if you so desire

and this is definitely more of a personal thing, but i don't Personally think it makes much sense to have jötnar dressed in minimal clothing even if they are immune to the cold. this is just because, snow still melts haha. so i don't think it makes too much logical sense to have them barefoot and without any sort of cloak to protect them from the weather. plus, light reflects off of snow and is known to give people sunburns, ao i like to cover up their skin too <- this however is all optional. it's fiction and it doesn't need to be really very practical it's just the sort of thing i enjoy thinking about so i wanted to share my thoughts

i defo do not have the spoons to bust out a thor mini so you're just going to have to use your imagination but this outfit i drew them in is also like all kinds of impractical for a human or an asgardian to wear in the snow :') i mean can you imagine going out into a blizzard wearing latex and an underboob window? i imagine that thor would be wearing fur-lined leather coats and thick pants and three layers of socks and heavy duty boots next to this bitch ⬇️

this isn't my definitive loki design though. i have a lot of thoughts bumping around in my head and art that i havent posted (and probably won't post) and this ⬆️ was just a quick example i busted out to give a visual difference

#orientalism #fandom culture #jotun loki #jötun loki #jotun design party #jötun loki contest #marvel #Q+A

[ceeejus]

Hi so like. This might sound like a very silly question but how did you get your art riso printed? Like, did you order it from a printing shop, or print it yourself? I looked at the prices of these printers out of curiosity and they seem like, surprisingly expensive so it got me thinking that I missed some cheaper offer or smth because I'm seeing more and more mention of riso printing and just. Wonder how anyone other than an office or smth can afford that lmao

hey anon! not silly at all--i love to talk riso and am always happy to share resources! putting this under a readmore because i got very rambly lol

i do print 99% of my risos myself-- i bought a used/refurbished riso EZ220 in 2020 (which is a pretty old model) so it was ~$750 USD for the machine + one color drum (this is a whole separate beast of costs). but you're absolutely correct, risos (especially new/not refurb) can be very expensive-- brand new current model ones i think can be like. the price of a new car, which is crazy. some of that's due to it being a very complicated machine, and some of that might also be due to import costs depending on location. sometimes riso dealers will have sales, especially on refurbished models, so if you are someone who's interested in buying one i would keep an eye out for something like that*. but also buying a riso definitely isn't something i would recommend if you're just starting to get into it-- they require more upkeep than a standard printer, in addition to the price (NOT TO MENTION THE SIZE.. mine is a smaller model and it weighs more than 200lbs. trying to get it into my apartment was a nightmare.)

(*if this is something you or anyone else is interested in i have further tips on this but i dont think thats really the point of this ask so i wont put them here LOL)

HOWEVER! aside from owning your own riso, there's definitely way more accessible/affordable* (*not usually cheap but definitely cheaper than buying a thousand dollar machine) ways to get into riso printing. a lot of risograph small presses will offer print services, where you set up a file and choose colors and they print for you and send them back to you. some places may also provide file setup for an additional fee. this kind of thing is definitely more expensive than ordering a standard print, and often there will be a minimum quantity that you have to order (due to the way the riso works, the more you print the more economical it is to make the print, basically). the 1% of prints i haven't printed myself i got from retroJAM Taiwan as part of a group show/order, but there are a LOT of printshops that offer this! I'm not sure what country you're in, but stencil.wiki has a great atlas here-- i'm not sure all listed here offer this, but worth a look. looking around in tags on instagram or twitter might also get you results of print places that aren't listed here.

another option (depending on location) is to take a class. a lot of colleges or community art centers have risos-- some print shops may also have community risos. classes can definitely be expensive, but often after you take the class sometimes there will be options to buy studio time to continue using the machine. (often you can't do just studio time without class, because risos are expensive and particular and very easy to break haha. obviously this makes the whole endeavor more expensive because you have to pay for class too, but once you're certified at a location you gain a bit of trust lol.) before i had my machine i was lucky enough to take a class at sva and use their print lab, which is beautiful!! and also kind of expensive to buy lab hours for (iirc, this was like 5 years ago) unless you're enrolled which makes sense. for a LONG time after that i printed at the EFA riso room which was a little more affordable (and overall easier to book studio time at. i love them!!!!)-- if covid hadn't happened i would probably still be printing there. most of my knowledge of classes is for the ny area, but again depending on where you are there might be some in your area too-- again stencil.wiki or even just poking around on instagram is how i usually find other print shops whose work i want to check out (so hopefully it'll work for this kind of thing too lol).

this definitely isn't like. an exhaustive list of riso options but hopefully this answers your question!! again i am always happy to talk riso-- i spent a long time wanting to get into it and not being sure how to and am also relatively a riso hobbyist (as opposed to like, a printing press) so always glad to pass on knowledge of how to get into riso Casually, haha.

#asks #again need to stress riso printing isn't cheap on the whole but there's definitely avenues cheaper than like. $12k machine. #which is not an avenue i would personally recommend for an individual!

[peaterookie]

Lupin's Pokemon Team

ok hear me out HAHA i like making pokemon teams for random characters so one day i decided to tackle lupin usually i pay a couple attention to the balance of the team and how strong the pokemon is, but with lupin iii being a totally different series, i decided to change my standards

this team is purely used for helping him with heists or he just sees it as something he can steal

i dont determine pokemon by how compatible it is with lupin (this is for anyone asking why thievul or aipom isn't in my list)

none of these pokemons should make him too op than how lupin without pokemons are, they simply make his heist planning easier because in reality lupin could kinda still do these things without them

i'll show some runner ups i thought of putting in after 

Here it is!!!

I'll have an explanation for all of them and some backstory I made up

Jigglypuff (Lv. 40 with Sing / Sweet Kiss / Hyper Voice / Fake Tears)

I'd say that the team doesn't really have an ace, but Jigglypuff is probably an unofficial one since he's the first pokemon Lupin had in my story, where he recieved it back then he was a child as an Igglybuff. I remembered in a Part 2 screenshot somewhere (i haven't finished part 2 so pardon if i got anything wrong) that Lupin had a fondness for cute dolls when he was a child, so Jigglypuff reflects that!

It also shows Lupin's inner child, since the Jigglypuff in the anime was quite a troublemaker, a very dramatic one too. In Shin Lupin III "Lupin Lullaby", Lupin's sings a lullaby sung by his mother from way back when he was a kid. Part of me thinks from that chapter that maybe Lupin probably loved music, and Jigglypuff's singing ability also connects to that as well.

Asides from that, Jigglypuff's ability to lull people into sleep by Sing or confuse people with Sweet Kiss would make it a really good member in the party to use for heists. I can imagine Lupin using him to immediately put guards to sleep or at least set them back when he's infiltrating hehe

Ditto (Lv. 26 with... Transform)

This is honestly a given. I had the option to choose Zorua over Ditto, but I personally preferred Ditto because it's just so silly and it perfectly matches the series tbh.

So the story for Ditto is that one day, Lupin just so happened to come across a doppleganger that looked just EXACTLY like him, doing heinous acts that makes Lupin look bad!!! It was Ditto, and it was being ordered by its trainer to disguise as Lupin and do bad things for something to happen (this could totally be an episode premise, I'm just too lazy to think.) Lupin uncovers Ditto's disguise and also beats the bad trainer with its help and Ditto basically becomes part of Lupin's team that way.

Ditto essentially learning how to transform into Lupin perfectly has so so sooo many possibilities of fun stories, it's literally like a moving living distraction LMAO I'll leave it to you guys to think of how Lupin'll use Ditto since I'll be here forever if I list out mine.

Magnemite (Lv. 10 with Thunder Wave, Protect, Confuse Ray, Volt Switch)

With so many security options all being operated by electricity, a Magnemite can easily wipe it all out by feeding on the electricity! I also chose that Pokemon since it's magnetic ability along with it's levitation ability can prove useful in some way in heists. I feel like sometimes Lupin just grabs on it to float around lmao (it hates it)

I don't have much of a story for this one. I just think the vibe of the design suits Lupin. Lupin probably just caught it one day and uses it time to time. I made Magnemite have a very childish and moody personality, it doesn't like following Lupin's order and hates it when he plays with it. But at least he gives it a lot of food!! That's the only reason it can bare Lupin's presence. It's also very good friends with this next pokemon...

Rotom (Lv. 23 with Confuse Ray, Protect, Electro Ball, Double Team)

Rotom and Magnemite are total besties, but one obviously gets used more than the other, and Rotom totally brags all about to Magnemite's face. Other than that, yep, Lupin uses this guy a lot to research about the place he's planning to sneak into and scan the basic layouts of it. I imagined he often makes it possess a drone, one of his spying devices or a computer to get info from it c:

So the story on how he gets this Rotom in the first place... maybe it found Lupin interesting and messed around with him for fun. Like he's in a middle of a heist and it just fucks it up for no reason. Lupin then gets mad but doesn't care to chase it but it messes up another heist of his again!!! Lupin then gets even madder and he decides to outsmart it next time it comes to fuck around again and it joins Lupin's team after it gets beaten since it finds him a lot of fun. Even after being caught, Rotom still goofs around with Lupin (Magnemite enjoys seeing Lupin get mad over it.)

Cofagrigus (Lv. 75 with Shadow Ball, Destiny Bond, Curse, Dark Pulse)

This guy does nothing in the team except exist.

Lupin just really really wants it and basically thought it was just a treasure until it started sprouting dark hands out of the coffin and almost kills Lupin after he tried stealing it. But somehow out of some SHEER MIRACLE he makes it out alive and catches the thing. Cofagrigus also reminds me of that one pharaoh episode where Lupin gets possessed by the Tut mask and almost dies so he basically didn't learn his lesson after the first time messing around in Egypt...

Also- it hates Lupin immensely.

Latias (Lv. 67 with Heal Pulse, Psychic, Fly, Safeguard)

Heeere comes the elephant in the room!! Peater?? Why did you pick a legendary pokemon??? Because it's such a Lupin thing to own a legendary obviously!! He'd somehow do it, nothing is impossible for him, if he wants a Latias he gets a Latias.

But no I didn't pick Latias just for that reason alone, but because I needed him to have at least one flying pokemon. I noticed that Lupin usually uses this glider looking thing to escape out of a dangerous situation pretty often along the series so I wanted said flying pokemon to have an airplane-esque build and maybe be red too (because Lupin uses a red glider a lot.)

But yeah! I also remembered how Latias could turn into a human girl in some random pokemon movie I didn't watch and I think she had a crush on Ash or something??? I don't know but that absurdity feels like it belongs in Lupin. Lupin probably met a Latias in human form and after some crazy wacky NPC girl-tv special shenanigans she joins his team.

It's probably my fav member in the team (2nd is jiggly) just because it's so funny to give Lupin a Latias.

And yeah, that's it for all the team members!

Here are the ones I considered putting in:

Aipom

Thievul

Starmie

Yanmega

Swellow

Drifblim

Porygon2

Salandit

Sableye

Dragapult

I don't really have nicknames for these pokemon, so if anyone'd like to name them all then be my guess! Thanks for reading this if you made it the entire way!

#lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin the 3rd #pokemon #peater rambles

[boobaloof]

Ooh interesting take on the romance options, going off that, who do you think could be the realistic option for Aloy? I assume Erend is off the table since the writers said they have a sibling dynamic before (and tbh that’s how I see it in game), I know they’ve had multiple options of Avad’s responses and stuff about romance/returning to Meridian so maybe him? I also don’t think they expected Kotallo to be as widely loved in HFW as he is, so honestly I have no idea anymore truly (not to mention lack of female options), romance is trickyyyy in Horizon, so far it’s been hinted at so every possibility is there for a fandom if they want it but never stated outright. If they’re gonna include romance it’s gonna be a lot more subtle I think, like maybe a single kiss or a scene where she chooses a place to remain and be a part of a tribe as the end scene might work? (since Aloy is barely getting used to hugs at the moment lol), honestly I have no idea what Horizon 3 will bring but I’m so excited to find out!

Hello again! Assuming you're the same anon from before haha.

Regarding my possible options, I only have two to be honest. Erend and Talanah.

On the other hand, I didn't quite sense a sibling dynamic with Aloy and Erend, tbh. Their relationship has been described 'heartfelt' in Erend's hfw character bio, so I mostly take "Sibling dynamic" as another way to admit they're really really close without having to put a 'possible-romantic-candidate' label on it for whichever reason, be it you dislike the ship/dont ship it or other. Overall the sibling stuff just sounds silly to me 🤷‍♀️

Then when it comes to Avad, his romance convo had me genuinely curious as to what its purpose might mean. Initially, I thought it was treating it as a mean to further his intentions with Aloy - which fair, it did - but I felt it unnecessary since his intentions were pretty clear back in hzd. If anything, him asking again it's probably meant to propose the idea of romance to Aloy for a future though/arc, and let the players know Aloy's actual stance on the subject during hfw. Avad isn't really present in the whole game either, so perhaps he might do a comeback in hz3 because of the last bit of the convo where he hopes to see Aloy again, but I don't expect to see anything significant to come from it. Man deserves happiness though.

And agreed! Regarding the level of focus on romance hz3 might take I don't expect it to have a huuge focus, since it's never been actually touched upon with Aloy except for small bits here and there. Subtle or recurrent small themes along the game might work, or perhaps a small moment at the end of the game where its implied she might want to run off with someone or not.

The dlc might keep some of my horizon hunger at bay, but I'll stay super hyped for whatever hz3 might offer!

#thanks for the ask! #not really expecting romance for hz3 #but it it do it better be written with the whole Guerrillussy #hfw #horizon forbidden west #romance option #bab-ask

[yamsgarden]

me and my baten kaitos thoughts

I remember the ending of Baten Kaitos was touching, but man oh man, I forgot a lot more about it and now I can't stop crying haha XD

It was definitely a lot better than what I remembered, especially that now I understand English haha

I’ll be dropping some more BK gang art whenever I can cuz this game’s got me on fire 030 Here’s a little WIP

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

omg I lost it when Kalas caught Xelha in his arms and her nanny and friend witches are all sad and mourning-- AAAA. Altho the part where all the Meemais start to float, omg I still burst out of laughter. When everyone waves goodbye at you and the cam zooms out sjsjdjisi I couldn't help but wave back and there would be more to this serie. I still ahven’t played Origin and dont know if I should T3T But anywho, I'm restarting another playthrough like... Very soon probably. I usually replay games many many times, but idk why I didn't had the chance to do so with BK so it feels even more special or unique than my other games kinda? Feels almost like a dream because I had only played it once. 

 One thing that I still wished tho, is that we'd have seen a little more Xelha and Kalas dynamic? Idk it was super clear that Xelha loved Kalas but I still didn't rly felt it from Kalas. So the end felt like it sort of came out a little out of nowhere for me. Don't get me wrong, I still rly love them but I wish we'd have felt it even more so the goodbyes would have been even stronger haha but oh well. It is in my heart :') I guess i think this just because their relationship seems so important to the plot, cuz if Xelha wouldn’t have cared for Kalas... This bee would have been eaten by Malpercion in one bite

Also I guess, similar to Tales of Symphonia, it would have been rly cool to have some sort of optional skits during the adventures so you can see the characters interact more. (Also, have some alternate outfits gahsfkkg i absolutely love collecting those anddd ofc, have the option to choose who we want the leader to be displayed on screen). 

ANYWHO, it never occured to me to talk about BK on the internet for the longest time because I thought my sister and I were the only one who ever played it ahaha I mean in my 9 yrd old brain kid that’s how it felt. Tho I’m so happy to find other fans, still TODAY in 2022 :0 It’s just--

Wow

u guys are fellow guardian spirit

Ok bonne nuit là là, i got an appointment tomorrow and its late

#ive been having so much vivid dreams for a while now #i wonder sometimes if its becaus of the game as weird as it sounds hahaah #baten kaitos #wip

[daily-ethoslab]

hihi! this is a bit of a weird question totally fine if you don't wanna answer this, but how dyu find like, what to draw etho doing for this account?

I mean ofc he's etho he's a little cryptid, but still you're on day 200! big achievement!

im currently on like day 40 of my daily account and it gets hard to keep coming up with different things to draw the character in. So much kudos to you for keeping this up for 200 days!! really cool dude

This is a very normal question! Don’t worry about it :D

I’m not the best at explaining things BUT ill try my best!

The way I go about choosing a topic or subject for my etho drawings kinda goes in this order! If one dosent currently work then I move onto the next.

1. Something from the newest upload! (Screenshot redraws or moments that made me laugh)

2. Idea list () Sometimes I get an Idea or two but i wont have the time/energy to develop it so i write it down! As you can see… a lot of them I kinda skip over but thats ok! Not every idea is going to work :). I try not to think about it too much, the thinking is for later me.

3. Pinterest. Not to shill but Pinterest is great for inspiration. I have different folders for poses, outfits, and more! So if I cant come up with something I can go to Pinterest! (This does take a bit of set up cause you need an account and all that ish)

4. Try to experiment with your art! I’m kinda guilty of not doing this one. Its very easy to just use the same mediums and same poses and same colors because they’re comfortable and fast! Try using a different medium! (Traditional art is great for this) maybe set some restrictions on your art like drawing using only straight edges, color palette, using your non dominant hand! Its always a great way to shake things up!

5. Other people! Sometimes you can ask others for requests or ideas! More often then not if people follow you they probably have something they want to see! I also want to include drawing something from fan fiction in this category cause thats other peoples brains. Just make sure you credit people!

6. Memes. these also tend to be the more popular posts ive noticed haha. But sometimes drawing characters in a meme format can be a good because it gives you a joke and sometimes a pose. (I try not to use these too much cause I don’t want it to get stale and i dont want to become reliant on them.Not shaming anyone who does 😓)

7. Last resort….. I HATE when it comes to this but sometimes your ideas are nonexistent and your inspirations are evaporated. Think of this as a break in case of emergency option. Don’t. Stop. Drawing. If you keep drawing the same thing over and over the mind numbing boredom will force your brain to pull SOMETHING out. (Not recommended! Can cause burnout!)

This isn’t in a strict order as i kinda bounce around! I hope this helpful in some way! If you need me to explain something a bit more I would be more then happy to!

This account is actually really huge for me! Would you believe me if i told you I’ve NEVER made it past day 10 of Inktober. Look at me now! Day 211! I think one of the best things to keep in mind is that not every post has to be perfect. Some days art just isn’t working but you still want to post! (Ive been trying to get a back stock of ethos for these days but it’s been difficult q_q ) Its ok to post something bad! Its ok if you don’t really learn anything from it! Its ok to be human! Don’t push yourself to post everyday! I don’t think ill be able to when school starts up for me again!

Last but not least, have fun. Its your account! No one is forcing you to do what you are doing so just have fun!

#tt #daily accounts #not dailyethoslab #anon #answered #i wish you nothing but success anon! #ty for the kudos haha #i hope this is understandable and or helpful in someway ^_^

[claitea]

finished pokemon violet. i am in Shambles in best way possible

major spoilers below! also its super long i have a lot to say

if its not obvious gen 5 is my favorite gen, for all the reasons most people hype it as the best gen. and i agree it totally is the best gen!

i gotta say sv is my second favorite now. it was just. Hough. aside from the obvious ways this game actually sucks, all the glitches and lagging and all that. what the game does well, it does REALLY well.

getting some gripes out of the way first. as good as the story was, nemona really got the short end of the stick here?? this didnt make me like her any less, i love her just as much as penny and arven, but just. unlike penny and arven she doesnt have as much story. she finds a good rival in you the protag and thats kind of it??

i do like sv's art style its nice the game was very pretty but. i do prefer the swsh art style HWJBDHF. i played sword for a bit two days ago to battle a friend and i just missed it. wouldnt mind if this was the style going forward but also want the old one back yknow

taking away the shiny sound is Stupid. i encountered a shiny voltorb and almost went past it because i was jumping and was going so fast i barely saw it in the bottom of the screen. i also tried the mass outbreak strategy today on a mimikyu outbreak, thought i found a shiny because a mimikyu looked grey, but it was just sitting in some shadows.

WHERE ARE THE CLOTHING OPTIONS...... was the school uniform only rule just an excuse to make less clothing options. i'm in hell man. thank god i picked violet i didnt like the orange on the outfits in scarlet.

the whole choose your own path thing they pushed as a selling point is kinda moot if the levels dont scale. also put me in a STUPID situation: for the water gym, you travel across the desert to another town, and that desert has a titan in it. so i thought hey, if these paths converge, surely its because its the next intended stop, right? iron treads wiping almost my whole team in its first phase probably isnt a sign that i'm not supposed to be here, right?? arven sent out a level 44 scovillain while i could only contribute Intimidate from my lv 22 staravia. i ended up using a guide to show me the "correct" path near the end, which was good bc i asked the pokemon center lady for my next destination and she told me to go fight Grusha and his lv 45 or so pokemon while my team was still in the 30s. thanks nurse joy for trying to get my ass kicked

onto everything i Did like though

i really loved this cast of characters!! all of them felt very unique i got attached to a lot almost instantly. i didnt think i'd like clavell all that much but oh my god he's so brilliant actually. arven stole the show though houghguhguhgu i cried THREE times because of this dude. will also say i ADORE grusha, rika and iono, and extra shoutout to that one greavard in the ryme fight. he was GROOVIN

i think the open world was handled Very well. traversal is a little awkward at times, miraidon sometimes doesnt cling to cliffs i jump on and said jumping can be clunky, but other than that, i thought the environments were very pretty (especially liked the gen 1 icon mosaics in that one town thats so cute). as someone who gets overwhelmed by open world games it also wasnt as overwhelming as others have been? i think i saw some people saying it wasnt enough, and i can see why they'd think so but if the map was any bigger i think i personally would have enjoyed it less haha.

noticed some altered pokemon animations which is small but very nice! i remember seeing it on lucario, gardevoir and the eeveelutions where they stand in more of a battle ready pose rather than. Just Standing There.

the pokemon designs were pretty hit or miss for me this gen but maybe i just need some time to warm up to them. but i do ADORE the future forms. hydreigon and volcarona look SO sick, i love how iron valiant mixes both gallade and gardevoir, and i just think its funny that they also included. Delibird. inbetween all these other powerful pokemon. havent seen any of the scarlet versions though i'll look them up later

i dont know if its true but it feels like theres a lot more Unique things about pokemon in this gen, like forms, moves and abilities? like maushold's and tatsugiri's forms, lots of evos got given to older pokemon. when eri sent out an annihilape i was STUNNED. i also appreciate the fact that all forms of a pokemon get a different dex entry. i want to try collecting all colors of flabebe and its evos for example, i somehow feel more rewarded when i get a new dex entry every time, even if it is kinda the same thing but rephrased.

ok now just. the STORY. i'm still an absolute mess over the ending i just. AUGH. i havent played a pokemon game spoiler free for so long, i did accidentally find out cassiopeia was penny a bit too early but it was late enough that i was connecting the dots already. but the ACTUAL ending with turo holy shit???? turo's message glitching at the fourth lock was creepy as hell. finding him slumped in that chair, him telling you the real turo is DEAD and what you've been talking to this whole time, what ARVEN resented for all this time, was an ai that just couldn't physically leave area zero? then the whole FIGHT with him, the way that textbox glitched out when the paradise protection protocol took over, him actually starting to terastallize himself was so??? being forced to leave as well even though he'd just reunited with arven, since he was tied to the time machine and part of why it would reboot every time it was disabled, but also because he still had the original turo's desire to study the future but had been trapped in area zero for so long. checking turo's lab before heading to the time machine shows theres a picture of arven and maschiff on the desk.... :(

(wondering how scarlet handled it actually. is sada also an ai? just assuming its different because the ai thing fits turo's futuristic stuff. i'll look it up sometime, i really wanna see how these cutscenes differ between versions)

ARVEN my god i. many thoughts head full. thought he was just gonna be the asshole rival but ohhh i was wrong. he's the guy ever. mabosstiff's recovery scene made me CRY, and then i just cried AGAIN at his meeting with ai turo. how old even is arven, how long has he just been. Alone. with no one but the miraidon he percieved as the one who destroyed his childhood, and the mabosstiff that was once his only true companion but couldn't even open its eyes anymore. crying over arven's story isnt enough i need to explode

arven's story was my favorite but i have to mention starfall street of course. i love all of team star so much it was so good going through and unravelling why team star does what they do. also team star boss battles were actually kinda difficult?? i was pretty underleveled through most of the game bc i was rushing a bit but WOW. i only won against eri because she Happened to use shift gears again despite near maxed stats already instead of just going for the kill.

anyway tldr. yes i understand this game is kinda garbage in that it was super rushed and glitchy and clearly unfinished on release but its just? the most fun i've had with a pokemon game in a while?? easily a top favorite of mine

i stopped playing right after the credits rolled, so if there's postgame, i dont know about it. i'll get around to it tomorrow

one extra thing i almost forgot actually! when explaining the time machine turo tells you a human could travel one way but is unable to return to the present. this is SO goddamn cruel of game freak to put in the game RIGHT AFTER POKEMON LEGENDS ARCEUS. maybe its different for people sent over by Gods, maybe arceus can circumvent this or smth, but since its the only time travel related crumb we have right now this is super distressing!!! are you telling me pla protag and ingo were on a one way trip this whole time!!!!!! fuck you put them back!!!!!!!!! finding out this lore tidbit on the same day some new pla art that includes ingo came out is so, so, SO mean

#clai speaks #pokemon sv spoilers #honestly i'm kinda mad that the game is so bad but still so good. how did they accomplish this #unsure what standards to have for future gens. bc really i think sv is a good game its release state is just stupid garbage!!!!! #but overall just. i love this game. i love it a lot. how do i erase my memory to play it fresh all over again right now

[official-sovietunion]

Yesterday was trans day of visibility. I want to write this post here bc it is the only account online where i feel comfortable doing so. I dont use this account anymore, but when i did, i was very vocal about being trans. I was vocal about being trans everywhere. I was, and still am, proud of my transness, and dedicated to fighting for myself and my trans siblings. I was also pre-medical transition, and despite feeling i looked very masculine, existing in the world meant outing myself every single day.

It is exhausting. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting and correcting and telling not only strangers but people ive known for years. I did not know there would ever be another option for me, so i accepted this and fought and made damn sure my voice as a trans person was heard. It is also exhausting to be homeless and stealth for safety reasons, knowing you have nowhere to run to, knowing that any sign of queerness could be the end of your life, knowing you must constantly hide and choose your words carefully to not gibe anything away.

Shortly before starting hormones, i experimented with being stealth in a particular online community that is known for its edginess and tendency to attract bigoted people (there is also a large amount of queer people in this community and we've managed to shift the userbase over the years to be more inclusive).

I made this decision because of the interactions i would have with some members that were sometimes s3xual, as well as interactions i had on dating apps. I had sent some nudes with a packer to cis men on grindr without really meaning to pass it off as my natal organs, but they assumed i was cis. That was the first time i realized i might be able to 'pass' in this capacity.

I knew that many of the cis people there, if they knew i had certain parts, would never fully think of me as a man. I just wanted people to imagine me with a penis regardless. Did being stealth in this community work? Not exactly. A lot of people made it clear they knew i was trans and would harass and ask me invasive questions, but i was adamant in never admitting my transness to them. We dont owe cis people anything.

Shortly after this i became homeless, following my 18th birthday. from that point on i have been 100% stealth until i find out someone else is trans too, i will tell them in private. At first i was getting misgendered still, but i would act confused like 'you thought i was a girl? How wacky and unusual for me! Haha!' This seemed to work pretty well and after a couple years on hormones i passed pretty much 100% of the time.

A lot of trans people read me as cis. This was comforting, briefly, since if even another trans person couldnt tell, a cis person definitely wouldnt be able to. But i hate it. I hate to think that any trans person has to wonder if they can be themselves around me, if they can trust me. Its interesting also to see the way cis people will talk to me about trans people, not realizing im "one of them"

I feel like i am betraying part of myself. I feel like i am betraying the whole trans community. I want to fight and be vocal again. I want to actually be open about my gender identity. I tell people i am a man because it makes things easier. Because it is safer. Because of all the people who just continued to call me a girl and said i had to pick a gender. I dont have to pick a gender. Gender isnt real to me. I will present the way i want to present.

As i get closer to bottom surgery, i feel much more confident that i will be able to be more vocal about transness. I dont know what i will tell people about my gender identity. I dont really want to have to have a gender identity at all. I have experienced far too much ego death to be connected to any concept of identity that goes any further than a preformance. I just dont want people to know my AGAB. i want them to see me as someone who has always had a penis, even if it was only in my mind for much of my life. What i really want is for people who have no business in my pants to stop thinking so hard about whats down there.

I want to balance being able to maintain my privacy while not feeling i hafta hide myself. I want to balance being able to feel safe with my activism. So many people dont have the priveldge to hide. I was one of those people once. I dont want to hide, its more important than ever that trans youth see people that look like them. This isnt something that will come easily, with everything happening politically. And aside from that, untill theres not a single transphobe left in the world, i dont think ill ever feel completely safe as an openly trans person on the street. But im working towards… something. Like everything, itll be a transition.

Im tired of my identity, my existence, being so intertwined and influenced by violence, biogtry, capitalism. If it werent for the way cis people treat us, if it werent for the way this society works that keeps us poor and refuses us housing, i wouldnt hafta worry about any of this. I would be loudly and joyously trans. I dont know if ill ever be able to get to that point, bc its not even really up to me. But if i am willing to speak up and fight, i can help make changes that will make it possible not just for me but for everyone.

[mbabol]

hadesgame experiences sofar:

ares has continued to try to fuck my stepmom.

athena may also want to fuck my stepmom

endgame romances with megaera vs thanatos is megaera having exhausted most of her storylines so she just shows up to chill in the lounge and make snippy little comments and fuck. meanwhile thanatos is embroiled in so many storylines that more than a 100 runs in hes STILL showing up to argue with zagreus and then bounce. he has NOT fucked since the first time.

turns out gods get progressively angrier the more you ignore them in godcompetitions. in dialogue and in the difficulty of their encounters. poseidon is fucking furious at me. i htink i will choose him when he shows up again

BOULDY SPOILERS UNDER CUT ?

i befriended sisyphus last and wasnt really interested by him at all tbqh. but after a certain point he introduces you to his boulder which he has named bouldy and anthropomorphized. this opens the interaction options “Talk?” and “[Nectar]?”. you can then talk to bouldy and, if you so choose, gift bouldy a nectar. nothing happens. obviously. theres some fun dialogue from sisyphus and zagreus about how happy sisyphus is that youre bonding with bouldy and zagreus just vaguely entertaining his nonsense. you run out of dialogue after a couple times and the nectar also doesnt do shit EXCEPT a little heart icon/animation appears like every other character in the game that has a friend meter. bouldy does not appear in achilles’ codex. im intrigued by the animation however and continue to give nectars to see if theres a secret little thing u can unlock if u do. nothing happens. i have given like 10 nectars at this point. i already have sisyphus and bouldys cthonic companion so it cant be that. i lose interest and figure its just a fun little joke animation they threw in. fast forward endgame and i have a lot of nectar at this point so theres no reason for me to not throw a nectar in every time i come across sisyphus. like as in i have 70 nectars rn. so why not. about a 120 ish runs in, i give a nectar to bouldy, as per usual. and for the first time in many, many runs, zagreus finally says a new piece of dialogue: “huh?”. you notice something has changed in your boon icons. there is something there that you dont think was there before. you open your boon menu.

there is a new boon. it is called “Heart of Stone: You believe in Bouldy, and Bouldy believes in you.” it says it gave you 5%+ movement speed.

CUT TO EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE LINE (but only about a handful of runs this time). you have received several bouldy boons at this point. he bestows one every time you gift a nectar to various effects, not just move speed. there is new dialogue from sisyphus. you talk to him. he asks you, concerned and a bit hesitant, if you’re aware that, well...bouldy isn’t REALLY alive. obviously. you know he can’t really respond right? he asks while you sit with your 2% damage reduction boon (you believe in bouldy, and bouldy believes in you) just There in your boonlist. zagreus is kind of indignantly like oh come on sisyphus, i know better than that. of course bouldys real! i believe in bouldy.

oh shit, i think. did sisyphus really not believe in bouldy all this time?? has zagreus accidentally Created life from bouldy from his continuous devotion/offerings??

NO. SISYPHUS IS LIKE HAHA I KNOW, IT JUST MAKES BOULDY SO MAD WHEN I SAY STUFF LIKE THAT. JUST TEASING YOU, BOULDY, YOU KNOW I LOVE U  BESTIE (?????????????????????????)

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

#draft