#i don't think i'll ever be able to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katsigian · 1 year

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💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Aw, thank you so much! 🥹 I appreciate the prompt <3

I think my all time favourite creation is Valen. He's the greatest thing I've ever made. The time and effort that I've put into him, just countless hours building him, writing his story and lore and events in his life. Building his personality and traumas and how they relate to each other. His details and quirks and the symbolism behind him. Valen's story is 60 pages long and it just keeps growing because he's so incredibly special to me.

The effort that went into his tattoos and complexion; drawing the designs, placing them, shading them all in so they're realistic, painting his freckles and face skin texture. I have 40+ hours into that alone and regardless of what happens, I always feel a bit of pride when I look at the completed project (Pic 1 and Pic 2 below).

He's my baby, my labour of love.

Pic 3 is there because I love it and I'm proud of it. All of my VP are monuments to the things I love most.

Another creation I'm proud of is his and my other daywalker's lore. I've built an entire world on the base that is Cyberpunk 2077 to fit my daywalkers and wolves into. I've spent a lot of time worldbuilding and hammering out their individual lore. How my daywalkers work, how my wolves work, what their strengths and weaknesses are as a species. I have pages of it written down and maybe one day I'll share it.

And of course, I need to mention how proud I am of the things I've built with others, with my partner @rindemption and my best friend @noirapocalypto. My OCs and theirs are intertwined in ways that mean the world to me. I love these connections deeply and I'm proud of the stories and lore and people that I've built with them. There are a lot of days where the only thing that can make me smile is thinking of them.

These are pictures of Rin's Nathan and Sayne's Salem I've taken as acts of love. I'm very proud of them, too, because they're for people that mean so much to me.

And those are my creations I'm the proudest of. Thank you again for letting me share.

#i think i might actually cry #i wish i could put it into words just how genuinely happy these things listed here make me #i don't think i'll ever be able to #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #male v #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋

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ghostly-cabbage · 2 months

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We need to talk about the worst thing about making AUs....

The fact that then when you inevitably think about crossovers you don't want the crossover with the canon you want it with your specific AU. Your brain worms, your circus, but THEN WHAT?

Oh, yeah, to understand this crossover you need to go read this entirely different fic/series? Girl help 😭 you can't do that

#high-key this post is about the genrex x dp crossover I started way back when and how I don't think i'll ever be able to go back to it #bc fae and I have literally put such a massive amount of work into f.h:s and fleshing out the world and how everything works and #the characters personalities and development that I genuinely do not wanna write something in the canon universe anymore #like f.h:s has become my default way of thinking about Rex in a creative capacity #we're here just to suffer but also experience untold amounts of joy you know #we're really lucky here in the phandom bc fanon is so prevalent that people are willing to get in on the ground floor with any #wacky crazy fun hcs you can dish out #and i love it here for that #but for the smaller fandoms its... you cant expect your readers to already have an understanding of your specific au and bible length hcs #anyway #in a low-key way this post is also about how #last month Fae and i went insane for several days about our gen rex AU version of Rex ina crossover with Murderbot and it was so fun but al #It was just for fun and for us YES but I keep thinking about and it's objectively hilarious to write something that is for a max of 4 ppl #When you really get to it tho it was actually for a max of 2 people and those two people are named Kei and Fae

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perths · 3 months

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TA NANNAKUN as PHEE & COPPER PHURIWAT as JIN DEAD FRIEND FOREVER (2023–2024)

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auriidae · 10 months

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goofy hermit doodles!! because uhh why not!!

#cubfan135 #zedaph #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #sorry for making zed purple-coded do you still love me /j (it's kind of a magenta. so.)#this was my first time drawing cub (unless you count scraps of doodles from like 2019 that i probably lost a while ago) !!#and as such it was a definite learning process! i could definitely draw him better now i think but this one turned out okay for now #i still feel like i didn't do him justice though.. i'll try again tomorrow #zed on the other hand came out fantastic and then i proceeded to not be able to draw him well ever again (he's from a few days ago)#fun fact i was trying to write a desert duo-centric little story a couple days ago and i randomly put cub in as a placeholder character for #-scar to talk to in a scene and my entire story accidentally became about convex instead. whoopsies #also zed lives in scar's basement. cub does too but he actually pays rent. they don't know about zed so it's funny #scar's house is a theme park. his basement is a hole #it's a whole thing. why am i talking about this? i don't know i'm really tired ok #doodles #reblogs super appreciated as always :D

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ghostlyfirn · 1 year

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sleep deprived doodle expressing how much i despise the white palace

even in trying to take a break all i hear are the fucking buzzsaws.

i hear them when i try to sleep.

#i don't think i'll ever be able to drown out the noise of the goddamn buzzsaws.#hollow knight #hk #ghost hk #little ghost #art #digital art #doodles #firn's doodles #firn's shitposts

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unclewaynemunson · 1 year

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Something’s off. Steve notices it as soon as he gets home. It’s nothing major, really, but something’s definitely off. There’s this weird silence in the hallway, instead of the usual metal that Eddie is basically blasting 24/7 whenever Steve isn’t home. There’s the absence of Olly showing his little face around the corner of the door to the kitchen upon hearing Steve coming in. There’s also the absence of some crazy scent explosion emerging from the kitchen like on a usual Tuesday evening.

Steve calls out Eddie’s name, questioning, not sure if he should be worried.

“Here!”

He releases a relieved breath and gets into the living room. Eddie is his usual messy self, wild curls hanging over one end of the couch and feet wrapped in colorful socks over the other, with Olly curled up and purring on his chest.

“Hey there,” Steve says. It isn’t until he comes closer to lean down for a kiss on Eddie’s forehead, that he notices something is most definitely very, very wrong. Eddie’s eyes are swollen and red-rimmed, salty traces covering his cheeks and used tissues scattered all over the floor next to the couch. His hands are clenching into Olly’s fur, his chest is heaving unsteadily.

Eddie looks up at Steve, blinks once, twice, to get the water out of his eyes, a fresh tear rolling down his cheek.

“What happened, love?” Steve covers Eddie’s hands with his own, creating their familiar pile of Olly-Eddie-Steve, his thumb stroking over the back of Eddie’s hand.

Eddie takes a deep, shuddering breath, squeezes his eyes shut for a second. “Wayne’s sick.”

XXX

The thing is, Wayne has always been the strong one. Always. He was the arms that caught Eddie, the hands that wiped away his tears, the lips that kissed his bruises better despite his prickly beard. And now he’s - frail. There’s simply no other word for it. And Eddie doesn’t think he’s ready to be the strong one yet. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Of course he knows that Wayne isn’t some immortal being, that he’s lived a life of harsh physical labor and cold Indiana winters, of canned beans and breakfast cigarettes since he was only a boy... But this is different. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. And Wayne knows that, too.

“I always thought it was gonna be my lungs that’d do me in,” he tells Eddie.

Eddie never thought of his uncle as an old man. But now, sitting next to his hospital bed, both his hands clasped around Wayne’s, he sees it. He sees the lines on his forehead, the near-white shade of grey of what little hair he has left on his head, the tired look in his eyes, the age spots scattered all over his arms...

Eddie releases one of his hands to wipe over his eyes. He feels another pair of hands squeezing his shoulders from behind him, reminding him that he isn’t alone, that there’s still someone else who can be the strong one when Eddie can’t.

He takes a breath.

“Nothing’s doin’ you in, man,” he manages to choke out, strengthening his grip on Wayne’s hands. Those strong, calloused hands, that have lived through so much. The hands that caught him countless times. The hands that held him tight whenever he needed it. The hands that wiped away his tears. The hands that fixed his van. The hands that ruffled his curls. The hands that held a fishing rod like a pro. The hands that tirelessly drilled holes in walls and assembled furniture when Eddie moved out of the trailer and into the apartment he and Steve got in Indianapolis. The hands that are currently resting limply on top of white hospital sheets. Frail hands.

“Ed...”

“No, I’m serious,” Eddie says. He’s always been good at running. No way in hell he’s gonna stop that habit now. "You're gonna get better. And when you do, we'll take you back home, okay? Not to Hawkins - to your real home. You, me, Steve and the van, right? You’ll see the mountains again. We’re gonna drive all the way across them, get you back to the other side, ya hear me? It’ll be this great adventure, just the three of us. We’ll stay there for as long as we want to. And then we’ll go back to Indy, and you’ll move in with us, and we’ll take care of you. And you’ll be there when we get a real house, you’ll be there when we get our first little nugget, and every next one of them, and you’ll get to play with them and see them grow up and see us goin’ grey and gettin’ old and wrinkled and fat, and you’ll be there when Lord of the Rings gets made into a movie and when world hunger gets solved and when gay marriage becomes legal and when we get our first black president and when The Police reunites... That’s how it’s gonna go, you understand?”

There’s this look in Wayne’s eyes, this look that completely terrifies Eddie, and he can’t do a thing except for collapsing onto his uncle’s chest, breathing in his scent and crying against his shirt as Wayne’s hand tangles itself in Eddie’s curls. And it doesn’t matter - it doesn’t matter that Wayne is weak and sick and lying in a hospital bed. Because he’s still the strong one. He’s still the hands that catch Eddie when Eddie breaks down. Even now.

XXX

They should’ve known that Eddie would be right. Of course they should’ve known. No God can turn down someone as stubborn as Eddie Munson - not even a God Eddie doesn’t believe in.

Wayne missed the mountain air, the perfectly prepared corn fritters, the drool in the voices around him, the natural hospitality. It’s good to be back, to get to share his roots with his boys. But it’s not like coming home. Home is where his own parents moved him some fifty years ago, with dreams of a better future that didn’t quite hold for them. Home is a rickety trailer park that doesn’t have warm water most of the time. Home is the woods around Hawkins, the rolling hills, the chilly autumn wind. But most of all, home is the smile of the boy who took him here. It’s long dark curls and big brown eyes that are currently tearing up because Wayne is standing next to him and getting stronger by the day and very much alive. It’s the memories they share, of Wayne opening his arms to catch Eddie when he was so much smaller than now; of going fishing at Lover’s Lake in the weekends; of cigarette stubs and beer bottles and metal boxes that Wayne chose to not know the contents of; of laughter and crying and fear and comfort and a whole shared lifetime, a boy growing up and still needing to be caught again and again and again.

And Wayne still does it. He still catches his boy. His two boys, now. And he’s planning on keeping to do that for a long, long time.

#whoops i made myself cry #this might have been the angstiest thing i've ever written #but i don't think i'll ever be able to do sad endings lol #and i know nothing of american subcultures so i'm very sorry if my cultural descriptions make zero sense #i tried my best #don't mind me rambling about stranger things #wayne munson my beloved #eddie munson #steve harrington #wayne munson #stranger things #fruity ficlet

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a-tiny-sloth · 7 months

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Bears in Trees, Starting Fires // Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Cycle

do you ever listen to a song that fits a character dynamic almost too well?

[ID below the cut]

Image 1: Lyrics from Starting Fires by Bears in Trees reading: I keep lighting fires and I keep punching walls / I keep holding my breath and I keep poking holes

Image 2: A quote from The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater reading: Both of them stopped breathing. Gansey knew he’d gone too far. It was too far, too late, too much. Adam shoved open the door. “Fuck you, Gansey. Fuck you,” he said, voice low and furious. Gansey closed his eyes

Image 3: Lyrics reading: I keep smashing glasses and I keep falling down / I lay in the pieces and I keep rolling around

Image 4: A quote reading: With a sudden twist, he swept all of the figurines from the Queen Anne table. Foxes in breeches and terriers seized in midflight. They all plunged to the floor with a satisfying and diseased smash. He raised his voice. “World’s ending, folks!”

Image 5: Lyrics reading: I'll sleep on my sofa and you can sleep in my bed / I'll never feel whole but you're as close as I'll get

Image 6: A quote reading: Gansey said immediately, “You’re leaving with me.” “It will only make it worse when I come back,” Adam told him. “I mean for good. Move into Monmouth. Enough’s enough.”

Image 7: Lyrics reading: You can be the husband, I can be your wife / We can pretend we can cope with real life

Image 8: A quote reading: Gansey jerked his arm out of Adam’s grasp. Again his eyes darted down the hall and back. “You should look at yourself in the mirror.” Adam didn’t. “We do this, we do it as equals,” Adam said.

Image 9: Lyrics reading: White picket fences and stable jobs / Three little faces and a couple of dogs

Image 10: A quote reading: Out loud, Gansey said, “Fine, then. We’d find another good school. We play the game. We make up a new life for you.” Adam reached past him to find a rag and began to wipe between each greasy finger. “I would have to find jobs, too. This didn’t happen overnight. Do you know how long it took me to find these?”

Image 11: Lyrics reading: You can be the husband, I can be your wife / We can pretend we'll get over our strife

Image 12: A quote reading: Thank God we’re not fighting thank God we’re not fighting thank God we’re not fighting how can I keep it from happening again—

Image 13: Lyrics reading: Having conversations we’ve never had before / You’ll be drinking whisky as I walk out the door

Image 14: This was a conversation they’d had before, and entire days of arguments were replayed in the few moments of quiet. The words had been said often enough that they didn’t need to be said again.

Image 15: Lyrics reading: I walk to the seafront and jump in fully clothed (Ohh) / And I keep wandering aimless, oh shit, I don't even know (Ohh)

Image 16: A quote reading: Gansey couldn’t shake the image of Adam by the side of the interstate, walking, walking, walking. Knowing he was forgetting what he was doing, but unable to stop. Unable to remember Gansey’s number, even when people did stop to help.

Image 17: Lyrics reading: I keep starting fires and I keep poking holes / I keep holding my breath 'cause I am nothing at all

Image 18 : A quote reading: Adam inhaled. Gansey didn’t. He didn’t breathe at all. He just stood, frozen, his hands gripped around his king’s helmet. He told himself to breathe in, and he did. He told himself to breathe out, and he did. He didn’t move, though, and he didn’t speak

#i don't think i'll ever truly be able to represent the dots i'm connecting between this song and adansey but i did my best #as always with my web weaves questions are very welcome i put a lot of thought into every aspect even if it only makes sense to me <3 #trc #the raven cycle #adam parrish #richard gansey #adansey #bears in trees #noah's stuff #long post #web weaving

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thefirstknife · 10 months

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rip gambit you will be missed 😔

Don't even know what to say tbh.

For those that don't know, the big State of the Game article came out detailing incoming changes and adjustments and all the big stuff. Gambit was mentioned! But at what cost. Basically, they are ceasing any kind of support for Gambit. What we have now is what it is. We will get the Dreaming City map back in TFS and they will add Shadow Legion and Lucent Hive as enemy factions in TFS. That's all.

Full text:

As many of you have noticed, we’ve been quiet on Gambit since last year’s overhaul that launched alongside The Witch Queen. In that revamp, the team made significant changes across five categories in Gambit: core activity fundamentals, Primeval tuning, invasions, ammo economy, and rewards. Unfortunately, these updates didn’t move the needle for player engagement. Although we know our Gambit fans mostly care about new or returning maps, this is an area of the game with lower engagement that would take resources away from more popular parts of the game to shore up. While we don’t have plans to dedicate more resources to significantly transform Gambit, we do have a few updates planned for the year of The Final Shape. These include porting the Cathedral of Scars map and its beautiful Dreaming City setting into the latest version of Destiny 2, as well as adding the Shadow Legion and Lucent Hive enemy types.

I don't know how to tell you this Bungie, but the reason "engagement is low" in Gambit is because Gambit sucks. Ever since half of it was removed with DCV, it just sucked. It has no variety, the gameplay is largely busted, it's not sufficiently updated, ammo changes suck, invasion cycle sucks (why is the enemy even getting a portal when their Primeval is at 5% health and the other team is still in mote collecting phase is beyond me), there are no cool armour sets to chase (just look at Iron Banner and Trials stuff, imagine dedicated cosmetics) and finally there are simply no weapons that are worth anything. Both Vanguard and Crucible have more weapons and also adept versions. There is zero reason to go into Gambit without major changes to Gambit. And now with the further changes to how playlists and challenges will work, there will be even less reason to go into Gambit. Observe:

Before then, we’re making Gambit entirely optional to maximize your rewards unless you’re looking for a piece of gear that’s specific to the mode. Gambit will continue to serve as a source of Exotic engrams via weekly challenges, though as we mentioned above, you’ll be able to complete all your weekly challenges in any ritual you’d like starting in Season 22. If you want to stick to Vanguard or Crucible challenges without touching Gambit, now you can. We’re also reducing the number of Gambit-specific Seasonal Challenges starting in Season 22, so players won’t need to bank motes to be able to earn that big purse of Bright Dust for completing nearly every challenge in the Season. Finally, we’re adding Fireteam Matchmaking to Gambit next Season, which will replace the Freelance node and should result in faster, better matchmaking by combining both Gambit playlists. We’ll keep an eye on reception and player engagement after these additions take place, and we hope you’ll visit ‘ol Drifter next Season to get your hands on his new Void Machine Gun.

Ngl, but I don't think anyone besides like a total of 6 people will play Gambit next season. The incentive to go in there is completely removed. You won't even have to go in there for pinnacles or for challenges. The Void Machine Gun will not be enough of an incentive because the chance of that gun being better than two recently available craftable Void Machine Guns (Commemoration and Retrofit Escapade) is very low. And besides, once you get it at the end of your first match, you can leave Gambit forever.

This is the feedback loop that just reinforces the idea that people don't like Gambit. And I mean. Who would at this point. I'm pretty sure that if Crucible had stayed the same as it was at the start of Beyond Light, engagement would be low there too. But you know. Crucible has received major updates pretty much every season since with multiple new modes, several Trials overhauls, Iron Banner overhaul, competitive overhaul, new armours and weapons added and YES, even new maps. God forbid even 5% of these resources went into Gambit.

Anyway, this is the whole section about Gambit in 6500 words. It's basically a "you guys aren't playing this so we're doing the bare minimum of keeping it in the game as is, no new work will be done on it ever." Thanks I guess.

And for the record, something I also added while having a rant in my discord, I want to make it clear that I don't want anyone to spiral into a Bungie hate train. Even for this. I understand perfectly well what's the community attitude towards Gambit and what it's been for years now. People just don't like it and they're not incentivised to like it and they're actively encouraged to hate it. Spending resources into a game mode on the hope that maybe you can change people's minds would be insanity. Like, the amount of change Gambit would need to MAYBE start appealing to gamers would be beyond any reasonable time and resources Bungie can put in. And if you could guarantee that people would love and play Gambit then, fine. But you can't. Most likely, even if major changes happened, people would still just do their weekly stuff and bail. It's simply not worth it. In order for people to like it, it needs to be completely and thoroughly overhauled in a way that would need more time and effort than the entire Light subclass overhaul and it's just not a reasonable expectation, nor is it guaranteed to work. So I get it.

I'm still disappointed and annoyed about it because I believe it wasn't given a fair chance at all. I also know how good it can be and how Gambit Prime could've been improved upon over the years if they tried. Instead, it got removed and that was honestly the death sentence for Gambit. It's unfortunate. It's my favourite game mode that could've been so much better was it given even a fraction of attention of Crucible.

I'll still be playing it. You will find me in the Gambit queue waiting for 2 hours to find 7 other lunatics to play with, don't worry about it. But I'm absolutely incredibly sad about them being basically forced to axe the potential of the whole game mode that is incredibly creative and fits with the type of game Destiny is perfectly.

There's other interesting stuff in the article and some upcoming really cool improvements and changes to the game. But if you're a fan of Gambit in any capacity, this is a death certificate for the mode. I suggest coming to terms with it quickly because Bungie changing their minds about this is highly unlikely.

#destiny 2 #gambit #ask #long post #says 'don't know what to say' at the start. writes an essay. FHKSJHFKJS #i won't go too much into it outside of this. we all know what this means no need to beat the dead horse #i'll still play it and the mode is still there but i expect a drop in quality and population significantly #the issues we have will never be addressed nothing will ever be fixed. we'll get a 5th map (returning) in 6 months and that's it #yay. I guess.#don't think there will be anyone in the playlist anymore by that point so I'm not sure why even bother with that alone #but still. if that does happen at least new people will be able to see that map now. it was very pretty #unfortunately not good gameplay wise. but at least it will help to not get deep six 17 times in a row #anyway. sad situation for gambit enjoyers. please don't turn into crucible bros to harass devs though

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muninnhuginn · 19 days

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Writers tag game

Prompt: share some writing

Thanks for the tag, @miyamiwu!

So, I'll be honest, I don't actually have any WIPs I'm intending to do anything with, but I have some oldish abandoned stuff I managed to relocate. It's back from 2021 so in my Untamed era and this bit was specifically set during Fatal Journey*:

Nie Huaisang woke blearily, cold seeping into his clothes from the floor. It was dark and it took several seconds to remember where he was. He could hear the muffled sounds of clanging and voices. As he lifted his head off the ground, they slowly resolved themselves into the clash of swords and yelling. [...] He didn't know what to do. What would his brother do? Xichen-ge? San-ge? He had his flute with him– he could try Cleansing. This was what it was for, right? Before he could doubt himself further, he started playing, pouring all the qi he could muster into the tune. He'd practised for hours the night before, long after San-ge had left, but despite that, he hadn't truly thought then that he'd need to play so soon. Was that so naïve of him? As he watched, Da-ge began to slow in his movements and Nie Huaisang felt himself start to relax. He kept his lips to the flute, trying not to let his relief fool him into making mistakes. Still, he knew he only had to play a little longer and then they could all escape. Him, his brother, his cousin. They could flee far away from the darkness that haunted these halls. And then Nie Zonghui's head hit the floor. He stopped playing.

And then I had this other bit:

He'd messed up. He must have played a wrong note. Maybe he'd misremembered the entire thing? And now Nie Zonghui was dead and his brother - what looked like his brother - was stood, Baxia dripping blood to the floor. [...] The sword was pointed at him. He tried to hold himself steady as he looked down the blade. Tried to blink away the tears that kept escaping without his permission. He could tell he was failing, unable to stop the trembling, but he forced himself to meet the eyes at the other end of the sword. He couldn't die here. He refused to die here. After all, he was the only family his brother had left.

*(it was meant to be part of a short time travel fic where post-canon characters went back not long before NMJ died. It would've had flashbacks to Fatal Journey interspersed with the "present" up until the point at which future NHS tipped off past NHS about the poisoned music. I actually got as far as figuring out where I wanted all the characters to be at the end of it, but I ran out of motivation pretty quickly so there's only this WIP stuff and the intro part written in the end.)

Ahh not sure who to tag when it comes to writing stuff. I know @roseofcards90 and @floofiestboy write some stuff? And anyone else who sees this who writes, feel free to consider yourself tagged ^^

#I'll be honest. I don't think I'm going to ever post fully for any variation of this fandom because I'm not into it enough anymore #and honestly need to rewatch at some point but also (and this is the big thing) the fandom is just too big it lowkey intimidates me #so sticking to lc methinks which I have a couple of ideas for but haven't been able to actually put anything down #I really want to go into my take on cxs and ql's relationship because I've done something for ql and lg + lg and cxs now #but I kinda think my view on the whole thing isn't exactly the same as the main agreed view on the eng fandom side #like. ql said to ltx she considers cxs a sibling but as for if she'd say that to his face? as for if anyone else considers them siblings?#I think it's complicated (and I mean ql never got ostracised like cxs did) and also cxs's parents factor in to some extent #anyway! I'm tangenting. thanks again for the tag! this had me looking at my more recent stuff for comparison which was interesting #ask meme #miyamiwu #also argh I'm looking at this stuff again and it's like I can do the end lines for impact but the stuff before that is so messy #and also. I keep saddling every character I write with some form of anxiety which works for some characters but not all #I need to either figure out another approach or just write loid forger pov 'til the end of time :V

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stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage · 5 months

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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.

Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.

The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."

She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.

With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.

Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.

She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!

Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?

She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.

Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.

Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.

Or her lover will.

I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.

#dragon age origins #dao #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #dao tabris #warden tabris #i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious #the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike #i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too #playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development #and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual #and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again #i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc #oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop #even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws #and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance #while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris #in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe #and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough #to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time #excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay #also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden #so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case #i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read

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skunkes · 3 days

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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merchantarthurn · 2 months

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so i'm in a zone of temporarily unmedicated for adhd and the only thing i can reliably focus on are the sorts of Sudden, Unavoidable Problems that aren't really sustainable for motivation (unless i'm alright with my heart popping)

turns out Cazador Fight Music elicits such a sense memory of stress it's basically adderall to me. i've sent so many emails in the last hour. i'm so powerful.... unmatched in my emailing prowess.... one might even say ascendant--

#sure my chest hurts and if i sit still for too long i start jittering but that's fine #i truly cannot believe. i don't think i'll ever be able to do that fight again lmao #i mean maybe if i have friends emotionally support me through it again lol #thankfully it's so late in the game that i never have to think about it lol

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aforgotto · 2 months

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was wondering what it would be like if she was a little chubby...

tgirl Versace you are always on my mind...

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year

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#shedinja #now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever #y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think #you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is #so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago #and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months #i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago #by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up #while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease #and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for #if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear #i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur #spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next #also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there #because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE #you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there #you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here

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chrisbangs · 9 months

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🐺🫧

Here

Now go to sleep

#m.bubble #🤫 shh... just between you and me i took these #i'm feeling a wee bit nauseous .......... it'll pass (it won't it's actually my love for him and i don't think i'll ever fucking recover)#hesssss pretty pissseddddddd on bubbleeeeeeeeeee #i feel bad... he can't really outwardly say smth either... but he's mad 😭 it's so clear... i didnt expect anything but #an ig post and pics on bbl.. was a surprise #and voice notes ??/$:!:!: 😓😓😓😓😓 my heart ..#gosh i love him . i love him.........#i'm so tired i just want for him to be able to . have 1 normal day lmao #anyway... 😓👍 sharing these before i log off again.. im really just too exhausted rn ... 👎 to deal with anything #chan #soulmate

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goldenblu · 3 months

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as for the way (we already know)

8k words | One Piece | Sanji Week Day 6: Future

Robin props her chin in her hands and looks at him, eyes flickering across his smooth, unlined face, his perfectly blond hair now grown just past his shoulders and parted the other way. “You know, I said once that you would have a fascinating death someday.” Sanji can’t hold back his snort. “Guess you were wrong about that.” He looks away and chooses to stare off into the distance instead. Inhales, exhales. Inhales, exhales. Again and again and again. He isn’t expecting a response, so he’s surprised when Robin breaks the stillness settled around them. “No,” Robin says thoughtfully. “I don’t think I am.”

Sanji, and everything that comes after.

(AO3)

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #sanji week #sanji week 2024 #mine #my writing #SANJI WEEK WRITING DONE #i don't think i'll be able to match this output of fics ever again lmfao

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