#i don't even use this website other than on sundays when i post

[no-thoughts-i-forgot]

october is here

AKA hi part 4

helloooooo internet it's me! i'm back! literally just finished a school assignment i've been putting off for days feels good!

as you can see, it's october now! september went by very very fast, i knew it would. school started back up again and that's been good.

also nothing new interaction wise with the blog so mostly nothing to say here. worked more on a song i've been working on for probably a month now, it's almost done but i have a voice actor doing stuff so i gotta wait for the lines lol

fun stuff, thanks for reading! see you guys again next week!

#no way #more tumblr posts it's very fun #i don't even use this website other than on sundays when i post #how fun

[stinalotte]

So. Basingstoke Comic Con.

This is going to be a rant. I'm German, so I have a PhD in a) complaining and b) being blunt. Perfect combination for this post. It's going to be long, so buckle up.

I give explicit permission to repost, reblog, screenshot and post to other websites, comment, tag, and add to this in any way you see fit. Feel free to write your own experiences and criticism.

It's a modified version of the feedback email I sent them. Since then, they have put out a statement which directly contradicts some of the stuff other people have told us (and have evidence for) and which blames everyone from attendees to guests to staff to the weather.

First of all, despite all the mess with the actual con, I had a ton of fun. I hadn't seen some of these people in 20 years. I hadn't met some of y'all before, and I talked to so many people this weekend. I don't regret a single meeting, hug, smile, or laugh. I do wish however for the organizers to step on legos for the rest of their lives.

Frankly, they had a huge business opportunity and they blew it. They could have established themselves as THE Stargate convention in Europe. People were taking 15-hour flights to be there. We were willing to spend hundreds, in some cases thousands of pounds. With that lineup, they blew every other current convention out of the water. If they had done this right, this would have been a huge success and an absolute no-brainer for years to come. They could have been one of those cons that sell out in minutes. 

Instead, they let greed and poor organization guide them. They severely underestimated the size of the Stargate fandom. They didn't bother to learn about what the fans wanted and who the guests actually were.

A few things stood out for me:

Health and safety at the venue. No a/c, running heaters (!!) in some rooms, not enough opportunities to get water, way too many people for this size hotel. We are lucky there wasn't a panic or more severe injuries. Crowd control was non existent.

An impossible, ever-changing schedule. You can't put talks back to back, or meet&greets, or photo ops. Everybody knows you will run overtime and then the whole thing collapses. Changes were not communicated. Nobody knew what was going on.

Poorly trained staff. No staff meetings beforehand. Staff had no way to communicate with each other. Seriously, give them radios! Some of them didn't now the names of the guests or in which autograph group they were.

People could not get the things they paid for. Out of all the autographs included in my pass, I only got one, and only because a friend got it for me. [Marion, you're a fucking rockstar] I don't even want to know how many people will be attempting chargebacks on their credit cards in the coming days.

And the most important thing, the one that makes everyone I talked to the angriest: The way they treated the guests was appalling. They are such generous, hard-working people, and BCC shamelessly took advantage of that. Richard Dean Anderson was signing until after 1 am. A 74-year-old man who just wants to make his fans happy.

[BCC are now saying they were told he was a „slow signer“, aka someone who actually takes their time by talking to fans when signing autographs. Oh really? Then why did you continue to sell autographs well into Sunday when it was clear that there was no way he could get through them all in a reasonable time??]

David Blue was setting up his own autograph table. Several Atlantis actors went and got more of their headshots (by taking pictures in the photo room and printing them) because they ran out. Joe Flanigan tried to bring some order to the chaos more than once. He went full John Sheppard in the photo op room and took charge. We are lucky they're such sweet souls and didn't raise hell then and there. Nobody would have blamed them.

Staff were amazing and tried to make the best with what little support they were given. Kathleen, Finn and Nick (with the Stick!) especially, and so many others whose names I sadly didn't get. They worked so hard, never lost their humor, and tried to help as much as they could.

This disaster is entirely on management. It's a failure of leadership and an example of what not to do when you're running an event.

If you want to put on a convention, you need to go to people who have experience and listen to them. You need to attend several cons before even thinking about doing one yourself. And before, during and after, you need to take care of your people. You need to take care of your staff, of your guests, of the fans. You need to adjust the size of the event to the size of the venue, or vice versa. You need to actually be interested in this event beyond the money it will earn you. You need to know when you bit off more than you can chew.

I'm not hoping for a better one next year, because all of us said we won't be back. What I do hope is that hey sincerely apologize to the guests and at least double what money was raised for charity.

#basingstoke comic con #rant #stargate #stargate atlantis

[yarnings]

The other day I got on the bus to come home from the mall/edge of the city transit terminal, and there were a couple of Plain Mennonite ladies, obviously in from one of the routes through the townships, taking the bus to an appointment of some kind. They weren't quite sure about which bus they were taking (since they obviously hadn't used a website to find their route), and because their destination was very close to mine (and in my usual stomping grounds) I helped make sure they knew where to get off the bus and where to go once they were there.

But it got me to thinking - I grew up without bus schedules, because the TTC didn't really put them out for the routes by my house. * But once I moved (and once the undergrad bus pass came in) I got used to carrying a collection of bus schedules in my purse. (Basically every bus that I took on a semi-regular basis I carried a schedule for. The schedules listed all the stop numbers, so I could call for the real-time departure info and plan accordingly).

But buses no longer have the schedule (including the route map) in a little box at the front of the bus. There isn't even a main bus terminal anymore, but while the rack of bus schedules was still there the last time I visited, I don't think it was stocked. The new customer service centre definitely doesn't have that rack. My kids have the relevant bus schedules downloaded onto their smartphones. (At this point it happens on a trip-by-trip basis, as we plan the route that they'll take out and back). You can still get paper schedules, if you go to city hall. Given that this is also where public health is located, and where the in-person offices for Ontario Works (welfare) are located, it would be one of the last places to lose the paper schedules.

But city hall was also one of the last places in the downtown core to have a buggy shed. (It's not there anymore. And by the time I saw it, 10 years ago, I really doubt it was still being used. I have seen... approximately one buggy in the urban centre in the time I've been here). While the schedules are presumably still where they are because marginalized people need access to them, how much of the fact that they exist for my transit system is because we have many more horse-and-buggy folks using it than the average system does.

This is a long way around to say that I think that post that suggests you need to learn non-computer ways to do a bunch of things isn't wrong. However remember that a lot of those things used to be a lot easier to do, and aren't necessarily worth the investment of your time. Navigating your bus system is one of them. Does your system even still have paper maps? (Now, I would argue that learning to plan your route using the pdf maps, whether of the individual routes or the system, is worth doing. But the way to learn to navigate the system without those is to ride it a lot. While that's a useful skill, please don't try to magically jump to it, given that you don't have the tools we used to use.)

*Technically they did, but they just gave frequencies, not times, even on Sundays when the bus only came every 10 minutes.

[simsdada]

maybe this isn't the "right" place to talk about this but, using this website helped me when i was feeling down many times before and i never felt so desolate in my whole existence. T_T

my relationship is over, it lasted for four years, and i have been dealing with the feeling of dependency for a month and a half now because my partner stopped talking to me. he wasn't texting, calling or even speaking to me at all, we live in different cities and of course we were best friends, so we talked every single day, suddenly everything changed, and i was feeling awful, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat.

i even felt like i didn't want to live anymore. </3

these last days i actually got better, i was watching movies, trying to distract myself, and trying to learn how to love myself again, and thinking "well, this will pass, i just need to wait and respect him, we'll always be together and this will pass".

but, on this last sunday, september 26, he finally texted me, opened up and was really sincere about everything, telling me things aren't working out anymore, that it's time for both of us move on with our lives by ourselves, etc. it hit me like a damn truck. four years, four years of talking to each other, traveling together, spending months on each other's houses, the memories, everything... it's such a weird feeling, it's like a void.

i was actually dealing with it quite okay. like i didn't care. but yesterday i needed to find a picture on my phone and i scrolled to find it, and i saw all of our pictures together, there's more than two thousand pictures there. and it hadn't hit me until then; but then i realized: it's all over, forever. i'm all alone.

i totally broke down, my parents tried to help me, but i couldn't stop crying, i was shaking, i couldn't breath. i texted him, even thought we deleted each other's numbers, i still know his number of course, i asked if it's really over forever, and he replied, he said it's really forever, but that he will always love me, respect me and will be always grateful because i was the best person he has ever met.

i don't know. i really don't know how but i will have to find out. find out how to be myself again. before i met him, i was such a lone wolf, i never enjoyed talking to people, i loved being by myself in my room, playing sims all day long, listening to music and being in complete peace, i could NEVER in a million years imagine myself needing a man to "survive", but this is how i felt with him, i felt like i could die without his attention and his love.

how can i go back to being that person? how can i go back to being myself? because i lost myself years ago, i wasn't me anymore, i became "us".

i have my stuff to do, i'm in culinary school and i'm having so much fun there, i have my hobbies, i'm always trying to find a job and i know i will find one soon, i will go back to play my lovely games, i will go back to being myself, to loving myself. i need to.

i don't know if anyone even remember my posts or would like to see them again, but i need to distract myself, to learn how to have fun by myself again.

i'm 23 years old, i met him when i was 19, that was 19 years of my life where i didn't need a partner to survive, where i loooved being with my own company, i was always so independent, so i'm sure i'm capable of being that person again!

if you read everything, thank you so much. i just needed to get this out of my chest. T_T

[f-yeah-weskerxchris]

New f-yeah-weskerxchris blog!

I've noticed that the current f-yeah-weskerxchris blog has been inactive for four years, so I've decided to make a new one myself. This is mainly to not let old artwork and other fan content get lost to time and reblog some sort-of hard to find stuff. Queued reblogs will start tomorrow!

List of things I will do on this blog under the cut!⬇️

Reblogs

I will queue 6 reblogs a day every two hours between 8AM to 8PM EEST or UTC +2/3 (Depends if we're on summer or winter time) These will be somewhat oldish posts usually.

Of course I'll then reblog things I come across or remember that day.

I will tag posts with fanart, fanfic or other fan content and the original posters username (as well as content warnings of course!) Also, if there is a ship that is not chrisker in the same post I'll tag it aswell (But I will not tag chrisker as that is the entire point of the blog) And I'll tag any character that isn't Chris or Wesker.

Lastly, everyone has their preferences, so I'll try my best to reblog (and discover) content I usually wouldn't :D

Asks

You can ask me anything regarding chrisker! Be it a scene you can't find/remember what game it was in, fic suggestions (Though please do somewhat specify the kind of fics you're looking for) or artwork you can't seem to find!

(Also you can ask about the blog, of course)

Artist shout-out of the Week

Every sunday I will post a link to an artist that is on other platforms than Tumblr! (Mostly DeviantArt and Pixiv) While Pixiv reguires an account to view nsfw art, it doesn't push it in your face like way too many websites nowadays! (Can't remember about DeviantArt in that matter though)

I have around 50 of these artists on other platforms, so this will last about a year! After that I'm planning to do a writer shout-out of the week, but we'll see about that later :)

Translations

A lot of the Artist shout-outs will be on Pixiv, which is an Asian website. Of course google lens does an okay job of translating fanart, but it can be hard to understand sometimes. So, I'm willing to accept translations request through asks :D I have some very basic knowledge of Japanese and access to use more reliable translators so I'm happily willing to do the work for you :)

What to do when requesting translations:

Don't put pictures of the fanart you want translated in the ask. I do not want to reupload fanart to Tumblr and will not answer these asks.

Instead: put a link to the fanart. I will type out the translation. While this requires to switch between tabs or two monitors, I will not be reuploading old artwork (Even with credit and links

Lastly

Just have fun. This is entirely to help people discover fanart easier :)

#chrisker #weschris #wesker x chris #chris x wesker #blog stuff

[iantimony]

a day late because yesterday i was tooooo busy! some spoilers in here for dungeon meshi and saltburn!

listening: mostly background stuff. i still haven't played more nier: automata but the boyf got me listening to the soundtrack and it whips.

reading: more tgcf at night to soothe my frenzied brain to sleep. i finished dungeon meshi yesterday!! i did cry!!! it was so, so good, i loved it. i really liked that there was no set antagonist, per se, at least not until the very end with the fight against the winged lion, it was all just a bunch of characters with different but justifiable goals that had their aims all butting up against each other. very cool. i love kabru what a little shit

a collection of some good screenshots:

watching: many things this week. my partner is visiting for the week and we like to have videos on while we're cooking n eating so we watched...essentially the entirety of weird history food channel, started with the trader joes one and spiraled from there.

we also watched the currently-released episodes of dungeon meshi. very charming. i cannot wait to see how they animate certain scenes.

on sunday night we did a friend dinner, so me and my boyfriend, roommate and hers, and one other friend; after dinner we movie night-ed it and watched saltburn and blazing saddles:

saltburn was insane! apparently there is shock and alarm at the sex scenes, which i am not very online about it so i have no idea what people are actually saying but imo it was not that crazy. there is a solo, uh, let's call it Moment towards the end of the film that is pretty out there, but besides that the sex scenes are the least of anyone's worries in this movie. it took me WAY too long to realize that the main character was the antagonist, i'm normally pretty savvy to those kinds of twists so that took me off guard. my roommate had seen it once (or even twice?? i think?? i have no wish to watch that movie again, good for her though) and i didn't start clocking it until immediately before felix tricked oliver into going home. as they were in the car i was like "there's no fucking way that he lied about his family to felix. right. right??" oops. some good cool symbolism in there, i had a bit of an xkcd "of course everyone knows this myth" moment when my roommate was like "huh i wonder if there's a symbolic reason for the bull-man statue in the maze at the end, or felix's angel wing costume" and i was like surprise pikachu. the minotaur, the labyrinth, icarus, hello? wdym you don't know the story of the minotaur??? much to think about with this movie. i searched it on tumblr and feel like a lot of people missed the point in favor of blorbo romance but like, fair, it is the blorbo romance website. 8.5/10.

blazing saddles was our palette cleanser after that doozy of a film. my friend said at the end "anyone who thinks this movie is racist needs better media literacy" and i'm inclined to agree. yes the n word is in there - but the people saying it are so unambiguously depicted as insanely stupid and wrong, and the leading man is a charismatic handsome black man, and tbh the smartest person in the movie? arguably more homophobic (the end scenes) than racist but even then the way 'f*ggot' is deployed hit me like modern tumblr humor.

idk. even though it's a comedy it is Very clear to me that a message from this movie is "Racism Bad". i thought it was fun, didn't find the blonde lady's musical number very good or funny, got a few chuckles out of it overall. classic mel brooks. 7/10.

playing: wizord101.

making: started experimenting with english paper piecing! i forgot to take a picture yesterday so ill try to remember and add that later today. or maybe for next week's post. also started a pair of fingerless gloves for my mom

eating: my boy made us all a budae-jjigae type object on sunday and it was so so so yummy - photo from before simmering for like 30 minutes, with pork belly, spam, tofu, and a bunch of mushrooms, grunions, and kimchi:

before my roommate came back from a conference we did this cabbage and thin-sliced hotpot beef thing that was. so fucking good. we had it two separate nights in a row. just layering meat and napa cabbage and then cutting into ~2in strips, laying them in a pot, filling the center with mushrooms; make a broth of soy sauce/dashi/misc soup stock powder from leftover ramen, pour it over, simmer til cooked baby. delicious. this image is a little steamy bc i tried to take it right after opening the pot, lol

misc: wough. struggling to get back into the routine a little. i need to make more spreadsheets for my agonies (apartment hunting and determining what internships/programs to apply to for this summer). and i need to start using my planner again because i keep forgetting to do shit.

#tuesdayposting #Youtube

[destinyc1020]

Confession for Sunday:

Not to be negative, but I can't stand some solo Tom fans on this website and on Twitter being so negative. Twitter, I've not gonna comment on because it's so deranged, so I've left it, but solo Tom blogs on here are so damn negative. I can understand their frustration being a fan of someone whose career it seems to always be tested by the critics and online public perception, but acting like his is in a bigger disadvantage than most actors, especially dei when his biggest roles are in Marvel, Uncharted and Cherry is crazy I'm sorry. My irritation is becaue I can tell one blog is run by a black woman its giving CC vibes no shade, and it's embarassing and sad to get angry or annoyed if he posts his Z on his ig account as opposed to his work. His play is in a few days, trust me he's more than fine!!!!

Like, he's been doing this for years,sorry. He was posting her even when they were just "mates," lol. Or get angry when fans of both post about him getting jacked and calling it "icky." When has it been icky to thirst over beefy Tom??? Do you understand this behaviour isn't exclusively to Tom. All yt celebs men get thirst after on even if they are very slim or super thick I'm sorry. Gatekeeping a public figure is crazy I'm sorry.

Like I understand being a Tom stan ain't for the weaK. Like, we've been through it, lol. The future castings he passed on, the wish for more career opportunities, stans of yt male celebs picking on him, especially ones who have been Z's costars, reading puff pieces against him in service of other actors have been rough, but I recently read that Tom doesn't care about articles about him much on Doms patreon, so I stopped caring tbh. English celebs generally go by the never complain, never explain motto when it comes to the media. Harry Styles uses it, too. I only care about what he tells us, not the other way round.

Like you guys want him to be something that he's not, and it's so tiring going round in circles. It's a silly comparison, but Tom Cruise is a questionable person who I feel is private despite knowing a lot him. Most ppl who work 9 to 5 don't care to read blogs or information about him. They see him in a good movie, they watch and have fun and go home. That's it. Tom isn't Cruise, thank god, but he mentions Christian Bale and Cillian Murphy as actors whose careers he wants to have, which is to do the work and retreat to his personal life. A lot of young actors want to do that now cause as a society, we know too much of each other.

Him not posting R+J was a bummer, but strategically, it's very smart because in this digital age, ppl want everything immediately.

Mystery builds hype. 101 marketing.

Anyways, that's my two cents.

Whew, okay…. Obviously something is going on in the fandom rn which I am not privy to, because I’m currently at work lol, because you’re like the second Anon that I’ve had in my inbox complaining about this today.

Is this all because Tom posted Z on his Instagram?? Geez people (antis) smh lol…. Get a grip! 🙄 Deal with it! Tom has a right to post his gf to his Instagram if that’s what he wants to do.

First of all, Twitter can be such a cesspool. ☹ I highly recommend not even paying much attention to what’s being said on Twitter, or, at the very least, not taking it SERIOUSLY.

Second…. I will have to agree with you somewhat on the topic of how some fans in Tom’s fandom behave. I almost feel like fans in Tom’s fandom don’t just allow him to just be? It really is sad imo. I actually have a bit of a theory as to why this is the case. This is just my personal theory, so of course, take this with a huge grain of salt… But I kind of feel like the reason why Tom is held at such a high standard (in his OWN fandom) is because most of his fans only became his fans due to Spiderman/Marvel/MCU hype. My guess is that not a lot of current Tom stans today knew or paid much attention to him PRIOR to Spiderman. So, a lot of Hollanders (Tom stans) probably were used to Tom “winning” right from the beginning right out of the gate.

Whereas, some of the stans of other popular wm fandoms (i.e. JE, Timothee Chalamet, Zac Efron, Dylan O’Brien, Ryan Gosling, Austin Butler, Bill Skarsgard, even Mike Faist, etc.) were probably fans of these guys back when they were not as well known, or when their careers weren’t as “hot” as they are currently. So, their fans are used to them being in a “struggle” position and have been patient, understanding, and open to a wider variety of “wins” and even “fails” for their male faves. They love them regardless….no matter what is going on.

But with Tom, because he gained most of his fans probably more so due to Spiderman/Marvel/MCU, I feel like his fans are/were used to him being the hot new “It Guy” right off the bat, and his stardom went CRAZY overnight, so they haven’t been there in the trenches when Tom was just an “unknown” actor. They didn’t love him before he was super hot and everywhere like he is today. So I think they don’t allow him the grace and understanding that a lot of other fandoms usually give their own faves.

Don’t get me wrong, some other fandoms do clown their faves too ROTFL! 🤣(Make no mistake about that lol) But I think Tom is held to such a higher standard because he started off as the “It Guy” , and so now, when his fans see other actors getting some addicted, or maybe “taking his spot” (maybe in their minds?) they get upset/angry/jealous/negative etc.

Idk, that’s my theory?🤷🏾‍♀️

For me, I’m the type of fan that’s just like how you described most people are with actors such as say Tom Cruise. While I always wish the best for my actor faves, at the end of the day, I know it’s not MY life, and I just want them to be happy. I go see a Tom Cruise movie, and I’m good! 😃 I’m not worrying about his career in the meantime, or worried if he hasn’t made a film in 3 years or whatever lol. I just take things as they come!

I think part of the reason why Tom’s fandom is so hard on him is because they have these crazy expectations on him because they see it as some type of “competition”, instead of just letting Tom BE.

I think that if you’re a TRUE fan of someone, you love them when they’re “down” and when they’re up. Don’t be a “fair-weather” fan in other words. It’s okay for an actor to have a “Down” period. This industry is very transient and challenging. It’s okay for an actor to “take a break”. It’s okay for an actor to have some hits and even some misses in their career! That’s NORMAL! Fans are way too hard on Tom imo.

I already gave my theory as to why that might be the case, but if you all have any other ideas/theories, by all means, let me know!

Re: Your Last Part about R&J…

Tom has posted about R&J a couple of times, no?? I’m sure he will post even MORE as the play gets underway. I even expect him to MAYBE do a video collage at some point showing the process. That would be super cool. 😊

[iguessitsjustme]

work rant feel free to ignore i just need to get this out of my brain before i esplode:

My job not having any social media presence actually drives me insane...I'm going to try to rant without giving away where I work but my god. I work for an extremely well known (at least in the USA) organization and there's a lot of misinformation flying around out there and we do have a website, but just a website. That no one goes to or looks at unless they call and we direct them to exactly what they're looking for because they ask if we have it written down anywhere.

And I think it's incredibly...obtuse...to not have any presence at all. I'm not saying we need to have an extremely loud and huge presence. But even just like an official reddit or an official tiktok (we do have a twitter kind of but it is never used and I honest to god don't think anyone has access to it anymore) and even if those pages just have the most basic information on it, I think that would help. Just like "here's a link to our website. Here's our phone number. Here's which department handles what if you want to be asked for that specific department." I spend so much of my day on the phone with people that have questions that are so easily answered by just going on our website but no one does. Also don't even get me started on what they did to the website it looks like it got hacked now but it didn't.

This is a strange work rant for a Sunday night but I find myself annoyed. My coworkers and I send each other reddit posts of people misunderstanding things. I mean, they are willfully misunderstanding things they were previously informed of. In writing. But if we really want to make it better and more accessible for people, I think having the information presented in multiple ways would be best. Especially when we're dealing with children. These kids are on reddit and on tiktok and on twitter and they have questions and they are more likely going to go searching in those places to find information. And there are people that claim themselves as experts on all of those platforms but none of them work for or have previously worked for my organization. So they don't know. So these kids are getting incorrect information and then I get angry parents and children on the phone because they listened to the wrong person or organization and I'm standing by our policy and our rules and they don't like that.

Also sometimes they aren't angry on the phone because they were misinformed about something saying that they can't do this this or that and it turns out they can. And if they hadn't called they would have entirely missed the opportunity because they're going to the wrong sources because we, as an organization, refuse to be the source on a different platform other than our own.

And I get it. They don't want to hire someone to be the social media person because we are small and don't have the budget for that. But it's 2024. There are many people. Many staff. That have a lot of downtime (not my department unless it's the summer) and this could be the perfect task to give them. Even if it's just coming up with ideas to present. Not even necessarily filming anything. And videos don't need to show anyone's face or voice. We could literally do the most basic shit and it would be beneficial. It would count down on the number of calls we get and my coworkers and I would have time to do our jobs instead of spending half our time on the phone (do not ask how behind we are because it is sad).

There's something else I want to say about a different organization that I think this would help with but I cannot say without giving away where I work and also I can't bitch about our partner without causing problems. But if you live in the USA, you know about our partner, and I guarantee you hate them. But not as much as me. Never as much as me.

#rae irl #rae at work #don't ask where i work #if you figure out where i work no you didn't #but if you figure out where i work and you are specifically a certain age and have questions you can dm me #and i will be happy to answer as best i can but also i doubt that's the case for any of my followers #i think my corner of tumblr is too old for that #this was brought on by me looking up where i work on tiktok and seeing one tiktok in particular #that was so incredibly wrong that my eye started twitching #luckily it only had 1 like and 0 comments but how badly i wanted to say something #like “this is factually inaccurate just look at the website” #skjkgjdhlkfjhglkjdfh i'm fine i'm fine not bitter at all #this is also coming off the heels of multiple of my coworkers getting yelled at on the phones last week #not me because i think people just hear how tired i sound and don't try it #but two of my young coworkers got yelled at because parents didn't like the answers they were told #which isn't really related but i think just having something anything outside of our organizational websites might be beneficial #and yes i did ask once and they said we're gonna step away from that landmine and i haven't brought it up since #i just think it's dumb #also apparently we didn't get internet until like the 2010s so we are so far behind the curve i don't even know

[prismatoxic]

this is going to be a very long and very personal post, but i've been thinking about it for a while. it's about my old FP i mention sometimes.

it's almost 4k words long, so. be prepared for that.

i got this question on retrospring a few days after paris blew up on me.

it is a very innocuous message. probably from a friend, maybe from a stranger; i won't know unless they tell me. it's the last question i ever answered on retrospring, though i have gotten harassment since that i did not answer, forcing me to shut off anonymous messages.

the exact timestamp is Sunday, May 29th. the last time paris messaged me was Tuesday, May 24th. i had to go into our old server to find that date. i don't have a good memory, but i also hate to look at anything from their old account. so, the message on retrospring: a seemingly insignificant event, but dated so close to the breakdown that is serves as a much more accessible reminder of how long it's been.

"about 1 year ago" is the immediately visible timestamp on the message.

2 years ago, paris was my best friend.

though, thinking about it, maybe that isn't true. it isn't what i called them. mikee is my best friend, and i consider jesse to be there as well. i have never wanted to dethrone them from that spot. that term is special to me. (see, now, why my earlier post mocked myself wanting to be everyone's best friend? i won't even use the title for more than 2 people.)

no, i called paris my "queerplatonic partner" or my "platonic soulmate". qpp, usually. in hindsight it is so blatantly clear that i was obsessed, that i was attached in such an unhealthy way; i did not recognize myself as having BPD at the time. so, in the end, paris was not my qpp, nor any manner of soulmate. they were my "FP", or Favorite Person: a BPD term i would say is akin to "hyperfixation", but on someone you personally know.

i don't want to openly pass judgement on paris here, because that's not why i'm writing this. they're long gone and goading people to be as upset as i am serves no purpose. however, i will say this: they encouraged my behavior. my obsession. i believed, in a sense, that the pedestal i had put them on was in some way parallel to the one they had me on.

there was no pedestal under me, though.

paris and i met sometime in September of 2020. potentially on the 15th, as that is when i created our roleplay server. it was in a proship fandom server for a website i used to moderate. (i don't know if that site is ever going to manage to get finished, now, but i still have hope.) having just gotten very into souyo, i was hunting for roleplay partners, and said as much in some channel or another. paris, at the time, was playing P4G for the very first time. we got to talking. i made our roleplay server, and for two years, we would only ever talk therein.

today, there are 77 threads in that server for different roleplay plots. some are very long; others, very short. i was (and am) unable to focus on any one thing for any real length of time, but paris was accommodating. they were happy to do new plots as i came up with them, and they pitched their own from time to time. most of them are souyo; a handful are for our bancho triplet au; there are some akeshus, and one or two banpegos. we came up with a lot of ideas. a lot of aus. sometimes we'd redo an idea; sometimes we'd branch off from something we'd done before.

we roleplayed every day. i knew their schedule and they knew mine. our responses were quick and snappy, and if we couldn't keep up, we'd talk about it. we talked A LOT. very rarely on the phone or VC, usually in text. they do not live in the US, but we exchanged numbers anyway. we talked so much and so often that it drowned a lot of my other relationships out; i can be very single-minded in my obsessions. i almost lost several people.

i almost lost the love of my life.

in the summer of 2021, paris was taking a trip to the united states to get vaccinated for Covid, and they made plans to stop and see multiple people. in between other plans, they made just enough time to see me for 3 days. they were seeing their older friends for much longer, but i didn't question it, i didn't worry. i was so sure that i was so special to paris. i trusted them so much that the fact that they refused to allow me to interact with their core friend group just bounced right off of me.

in retrospect? ouch.

the visit was fine. paris finally convinced me that i was allowed to be disabled, that i was allowed to rely on support like the electric carts at stores and stuff. they had clashed with devot in the past, but the two of them got along fine for the visit. i was so thrilled; my two most important people, getting along? what could be better? the three of us had lunch and went to ikea. then i hung out at paris's hotel the other two days.

even when they were visiting their other friends, we were talking near-constantly. at some point, my obsession reached a very unfortunate peak, and i decided that if i was that obsessed, clearly i was in love with them. they were (and are, presumably) polyamorous, and i thought maybe i was too.

this isn't a part i want to talk about very much, because it's humiliating and painful. i tried to negotiate an open relationship with devot, and as a result, i almost lost him entirely. it was a very hard time for us, and it made me realize that i loved him way more than i could ever love someone else, even paris. if pursuing paris meant i would lose devot, then i simply wouldn't pursue paris.

paris knew my intentions and knew my ultimate decision. however that made them feel, i can't say. i don't know.

you see, towards the tail end of their trip, they suffered a familial tragedy and their return home was delayed. (or maybe they did make it home, but not for very long? my memory is fuzzy and i absolutely do not want to comb through our server to find it.) their family was in the US and that's where they needed to be for a while. i don't want to go into more detail than that; it was a very personal time for them. we did not talk a lot during it. they said, "i can't carry you right now".

maybe that was a clue as to how they viewed our relationship. i don't know. i assured them i wasn't asking for that, that i could carry them, but all the same they needed their space and i gave it to them. i had permission to send messages with the understanding that there would be no response, so i did.

in lamenting my mental state during all this, jesse (you may recall him being a best friend) suggested to me that maybe i possibly, perhaps, had BPD. he explained it to me and may have also directed me to some sources. it was eye-opening. it forced me to confront my actions and alter my behavior in ways i never realized i needed to do. in terms of paris, however, it came too little, too late.

this part of the story i have told before; i mean, i've told it all before, but i think i was more descriptive at this point. as paris recovered from the tragedy and began returning to normal life, they did so increasingly without me.

conversations in our server were short and uneventful. they were not up to roleplay, which i understood; i searched for other ways for us to connect.

they abandoned their persona 4 twitter and made a new one. they claimed persona 4 had become a trigger. i don't know why, and they never explained. it seemed that the biggest connection we had was now in the past, but i was so deeply, wholeheartedly invested in our relationship that i didn't let it get me down... too much.

the thing about the decline of our relationship is that it was not all at once. it was an accumulation of things, increasingly large signs that they were done with me. the persona 4 abandonment was one of those signs. another, how they were publicly interacting with their older friends, but no longer with me. yet another; they got into no man's sky, but when i finally got my hands on a copy to play with them, they stopped playing. or maybe they just stopped posting about it.

they did not post in our server unless i prompted them first. they did speak in our server with our mutual friend priam, but... just to talk to priam. ask them for advice on the french language, mostly, for a novel they had started to write. anything i said was quickly glossed over (not by priam, though; priam and i are still friends and i love him dearly).

this went on for 7 months.

i know that figure because just before i purged my vent twitter, i went back to the very first post i'd made about the situation. i posted a lot about it... almost every day. i also cried almost every day. i was trying to take it in stride, at least publicly, but in private i was falling apart. paris, who used to like every post on my vent twitter to let me know they were reading them, had stopped doing so. they also never asked me about any of the posts, which they used to do. at some point i figured they had most likely muted my account.

it doesn't feel like it was 7 months. it feels like it was much shorter. how could i have been in so much emotional pain for 7 whole months? i know i was hiding it from everyone as best i could, i didn't even tell my therapist; how could i have done so for so long? but my vent twitter proved the timeline. 7 months.

devot's not blind, of course. he knew something was up. i very rarely told him anything about paris, a point of contention between us. i knew he didn't like them. i didn't want to make it worse. however, i am nothing if not a paper-thin pane of glass when it comes to the phrase, "are you okay?", and eventually i had to tell him why i was so depressed.

he didn't know how to help. the only thing he could do was provide me with the matches; i had to burn the bridge myself.

he told me, early on in my relationship with paris, that they had told him something. (i didn't know they'd spoken outside of my personal server at all.) they told him that my obsession with them wouldn't last, that eventually i would find another interest and move on.

it was a gut-punch. our relationship meant everything to me, but they only saw me as an obsessed little fanboy, at least at the time. and it felt ironic, because they had moved on from me, not the other way around.

paris was (and presumably is) very serious about the privacy of 1 on 1 conversations. they never ever divulged things that happened between them and someone else that seemed in any way "personal." they expected this of others, as well; they told devot what they said in confidence. of course, his loyalties lie with me and absolutely not with them, so he told me anyway.

now, let's step back, for a moment. i want to try and paint a picture of what it was like being in my shoes.

i trusted paris. everything they had ever said to me was taken at face-value and believed. they had proven to me (or so i thought) that they always spoke their mind, were honest, and cared about me very deeply. i trusted them to tell me if something was wrong. in those 7 months, i asked them directly if anything was bad between us. they assured me we were fine. all the while, i knew they were hanging out with their older (real?) friends and generally ignoring me. i knew they had come to loathe the media that brought us together. i knew that they didn't want to play games with me, even their supposed favorite game.

i knew that they were shutting me out.

but paris never communicated this. they were visibly moving on without me, but i trusted them so much that i willfully turned a blind eye to it, waiting for the day they'd be "ready" to talk to me again. then devot told me about what they'd said, and finally, i started to split.

splitting is another BPD term, though it has its uses in general psychology as well. it is primarily a defense mechanism, mostly against The Big BPD Fear, abandonment. splitting is to see a situation and black and white and take a side. there was no longer nuance to the situation; there was paris is my friend, or paris is my enemy.

i was reluctant to let it happen. i resisted it. splitting and my natural empathy are extremely at odds with one another; i tried to convince my brain that paris was still my friend, that there were reasons for all of this. these were conscious thoughts, but the split was not a conscious choice.

i resented paris. either they apologized to me, and fixed things, or they didn't and that was that, it was over. very new to the concept that these were unproductive thoughts, i didn't know how to combat them.

i made a tweet on my vent twitter.

as i said earlier, i had come to assume that paris had simply muted my vent twitter; they had gone through so much, clearly they couldn't carry me, as they said... so i made a vague tweet that wasn't really vague, assuming they probably wouldn't see it anyway.

to paraphrase, as the tweet no longer exists: "you said once that i would get bored of you and move on, but you're the one who moved on from me"

they had not muted my twitter, they were just ignoring it. i know this because they finally messaged me first, and it was about that tweet.

the first volley of messages, sent in our roleplay server, was very clipped but mostly civil. they were disappointed in me for resorting to such a low tactic as to post a passive aggressive tweet instead of coming to them about my concerns.

(i had been having no luck getting them to talk to me; our last exchange in that server was nearly a month prior and lasted about 6 messages. perhaps you can imagine why i didn't think taking my concerns to them would work.)

i was not present when they sent these messages, and didn't get to say anything before they left the server. i did return to my computer not long after, however, and realized, with equal parts regret and relief, that it was over.

then they dm'd me, something they had not done since we very first started talking.

the dms were vicious. they had only gotten angrier after sending the first wave of messages and wanted me to know. devot had betrayed them by telling me what they said, and i betrayed them by repeating it on my vent.

i watched each message roll in, one after the other, numb. i considered replying. i never did.

they called me selfish. hungry for attention. everything was always about me. they said all that happened was they stopped initiating contact, and i had the nerve to claim it was abandonment? in the server, they said they expected me to tell them if i had an issue with them. in the dms, they professed to feelings they had never told me they had towards me.

they said they didn't know what they were even trying to accomplish, that i wouldn't even care. the messages stopped.

their twitter was abandoned; in time, their discord was as well. they never blocked me, simply... vanished. their friend list was wiped clean, their icon blacked out. i think it only didn't happen immediately because they needed to retract their presence from everything they modded and collaborated on. why not delete the discord? i don't know. i'll never know.

it's still there, black icon, no friends, no profile. our exchanges are intact. every other account i ever knew them to have is abandoned as well. if i had to guess, they don't go by "paris" anymore. they told me they had changed before, that "paris" was the longest-running identity they had. they loved being "paris". i'm sorry i ruined it, genuinely.

so, May 24th, 2022. a Tuesday; devot would have been off work. i don't remember if i cried. i think i was just sort of bitterly relieved. i think i said "good riddance" on my vent, after blocking their accounts.

that's the thing about defense mechanisms, i guess. they can work. yet, as time passed, the full weight of it all came bearing down on me. not just the end, but every part before it: the grief of it all, of losing paris, piece by piece until there was nothing left. them claiming that the "only thing" they had done was stop engaging with me first was laughable, but maybe to them, that really was the truth. i said it before: it was an accumulation of things. straws on the camel's back, you know how it goes.

it was never just about the roleplaying, or even the conversations. i tried so hard, for so long, to find something else we could do. i trusted them when they said we were fine. i trusted them when they told me they loved me. i trusted them in every way i could trust a person.

paris said once that they didn't believe in empathy. they said it was essentially "mind reading", that there was no way to know how another person was feeling, so how could you know you felt the same? hyper-empathetic, i stayed quiet. they were smarter than me, and more worldly than me; they probably knew better.

"about 1 year ago," says retrospring. i remember when it said only days. when it said a month. when it said 7 months. (that might be when i made my last post on the subject.)

shortly before that day, i finally told my therapist what was happening. it was my very last appointment with him; i'd been seeing him for 4 years. he was moving onto a private practice and could no longer take my insurance.

i said it had all began about a year after paris and i met, and he posited a theory: perhaps it was the honeymoon phase. those tend to last about a year, he said. maybe they had simply gotten bored. he did not say it unkindly (he was very good at his job, and i trusted him very much), but it did strike a chord in me. i thought maybe it was too simple an explanation, though, and after all, we were qpps. how could they just get bored?

i don't think we were qpps at that point. (arguably, we never were, but as a label we shared, i think they had agreed on it at least for a while.)

the explosion a scant few days later did not feel like boredom, it felt like vitriol. like resentment. it felt like they had wanted to say those things for a long time. but it had been 7 months since the possible end of this "honeymoon phase," so maybe. i guess i'll never know.

i have become very bad at keeping up with roleplay. even if it's the same short style, or even if they let me switch between ideas constantly. even if it's souyo. even if they're my friend. even if i'm having a great time. at some point, the mental block rises up, and even though i'm not thinking about paris, i know that's where it came from. devot is the only one largely immune to this effect; we still roleplay constantly, though i do at times fall into slumps even so.

i keep trying; i love to roleplay. it's my favorite hobby. but every time i try, it stops dead by my own hand. even if i'm actively trying to prevent it.

...but otherwise, i think i'm doing better.

my approach to relationships is different. i know what i'm capable of, if i get carried away. i'm careful, and i try to keep track of my emotions about a person. i also trust people a lot less, and fear abandonment a lot more, but i'm aware of it and trying to do something about it.

devot and i are doing much better; he doesn't have to compete with anyone anymore. i have a lot more time and emotional energy for him. i love him very much, and i'm so grateful he stuck with me. i'd be nowhere without him.

the roleplay server i made for myself and paris sits at the very bottom of my server list, tucked into a folder with the server we shared with priam. i don't want to lose the memories, but i never even look at them, so it probably doesn't matter either way. maybe someday i'll use some of those old ideas. i already did, with one; one of our roleplays was the basis for my oc nate, who i made well after paris was gone.

i do not ever want to see or speak to paris again. luckily, the feeling is most certainly mutual.

tomorrow, in about 12 hours, i will be speaking to my new therapist. he is the second i have had since the one i had for 4 years, and the first since then that i actually think i mesh well with. i think i'll tell him all of this. hell, i might even read the post to him. we'll see.

is there a point to all of this? kind of. mostly it's for me, a retrospective of what happened. it's also just informative for the people closest to me who i have likely not told everything in this much detail. if you read it and get something out of it, that's great.

it's been "about 1 year," according to retrospring. i think i like that metric better than the exact timestamps of paris's final messages to me that discord gives. the era of "tox and paris" burned bright and burned hard, and died out very quickly. it's probably for the best. i am healing, and i don't know if i'd have ever gotten better if they kept me around. there is a long way to go, but... i have hope, honestly. i think i'll be okay.

#tox.txt #this is wildly personal i'm not kidding. you don't have to read it if you're not interested #it's about BPD and obsession and grief and i'm really only posting it publicly bc like... #idk man i want it to be somewhere i can share i guess. this one doesn't go into the void #tagging so i can find it later... #The Paris Saga

[deewithani]

Long post ahoy, so I'm putting most of it under a readmore. Don't go on if you don't want to see me rage about what I view as bad parenting being weaponized.

Decided to go on the clock app earlier today because people are interesting, and my algorithm was just packed with some absolute fresh hell bullshit because I follow some of those involved and some who had commented. I'm pretty sure a lot of us know what it is, but if not you're only missing complete brain rot, rage farming, and bad actors pushing racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, Islamophobic bullshit and you're better off not seeing it.

Tl,dr: White Christian nationalists love it when you think that your personal responsibilities are actually the responsibilities of someone else because they want you use that belief to silence their enemies and make it easier for them to gain power.

I never really even went on it that often before. I deleted it today.

I am not posting this to show support for either party or place any blame. I understand wanting to protect kids. I also understand that adults should be able to have adult discussions with other adults. Further, I understand that there is really no safe place for kids to go online and that they can circumvent age restrictions on websites. None of that falls under the responsibility of the people who are not the parents of said child or the child themselves. Adults absolutely should not be engaging in conversations with adult content with people they know to be underage. You cannot also expect adults to know that the people they interact with online in an otherwise anonymous setting are truly of age. I can put minors dni on my page 7 days a week and twice on Sunday. We all take people at their word because what else are you going to do?

If your answer is "well, don't post adult content," I would like to circle back around to my earlier point, adults can have discussions with other adults. They can (in most places) share pictures and stories and lots of other things as long as it's not against the tos of the service they're using to share those things.

What we're left with is whose responsibility it is to prevent kids from accessing and interacting with adults and adult content. In this, I find it is no different than movie, music, and tv ratings. I have posted the content warning and told them to go away. It is a parent's job to parent their children. I'm older, true, but I never felt my mom was overly strict (I was a teenager in the 90s). I had to ask my mom for every penny I ever got to buy something for myself, and I had to show her what I got. There was not a single CD that made its way into my radio before she saw it first. She knew every movie I went to see. I could hang out with my friends, but she knew who was there, talked to their parents, and if I was supposed to be home by 8? You better believe I was there, because she put a lot of trust in me to keep my word.

I am a parent, not too long out of raising a teenager. My son still tells me where he's going when he leaves, who he's going to be with, and how long he thinks he'll be. "But Dee," I hear you say, "that's overbearing. You're being a helicopter mom." No. Stop. He's an adult, and since becoming an adult there is no reason why he can't come and go as he pleases. He does this out of courtesy. He's 6'3", 270. I'm 5'5". I couldn't stop him if you paid me.

But back to the subject at hand, a lot of comments from people about the entire original issue is "My kid has a debit card connected to my account so they can pretend to be over 18 and purchase access to this adult's page and their adult content." Is it just me who thinks this whole reasoning to completely ban adult content online is batshit insane? That because you, as a parent, gave your child, a child you apparently don't trust enought not to go online and buy their way into an adult space, free access to a debit card, that means that everyone else has to protect the child that you don't want to protect yourself. Do I have that right? You don't check your kid's purchases with your online banking? I checked that shit daily. You don't monitor their online access or social media and you just freely have them an internet connected computer or tablet or smartphone? You don't trust your own kids not to get into trouble online but you don't do anything that would inconvenience you or them to stop it from happening?

Take some responsibility for yourselves for pete's sake. Random people online aren't responsible for raising your children. They're not your babysitters. Neither are movies, or music, or videogames, or the books in public libraries that some of you braindead morons believe should be banned because your kid may read them.

STOP BEING A FUCKING SHITTY PARENT AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE HUMANS THAT YOU ARE RAISING.

Don't tell me you can't do it. "Everything is done online now and kids have to have cellphones and wah wah wah just ban the stuff I don't like." Stop. Your. Bullshit. You're the adult. Act like it.

Schools and businesses block websites all day long. I can't access social media from my work computer even though it's connected to my home network. Learn about filtering applications, learn how to filter at the router. Learn how limit access time for specific devices. What about phones? If you can't trust them with a smartphone, get them a flip phone. If you can't trust them with a flip phone, get a house phone with a cord (only 1 phone) and put that phone in the room where you are most likely to be when they're using it. Unplug it at night and take it to bed if you can't trust them to not be on it in the middle of the night. "Well, what about their friends' phones?" First off, they're not supposed to use them in school, so if you hear of them doing it, narc on them. Yes, I said it. Turn them in. Phones are a privilege, and it's a shitty thing to do to someone, but you're a parent, not your kid's friend and not some other kid's friend. You are responsible for the wellbeing of your child, and if another child is engaging in conduct that brings harm to yours, then it is your responsibility to act on what you know. If it's after school and you know your kid is hanging out with someone who gets them in trouble online (or lets them get in trouble), why are you letting them hang out together without your supervision? If you're at home and your kid isn't and is with another kid you don't trust, there's a quick, easy fix for this. You know what it is.

People on the internet, adults you don't know, are not responsible for your children's safety online. Every time I see someone post something about "Look what our kids are watching on youtube" I cringe. My kid watched Bear in the big fucking blue house and I was never shocked or surprised at what he saw. I would never sit a kid in front of youtube and just let it play. There's bad shit on the internet and YOU KNOW THERE'S BAD SHIT ON THE INTERNET SO WHERE IS THE DISCONNECT?

Anyway, sorry for the length of this. There is a concerted effort right now by white Christian nationalists to demonize a lot of things under the guise of "think of the children" and it is insidious and they want people to think they're targeting adult content when they're targeting marginalized voices and people. You only have to look as far as the drag queen laws that are popping up everywhere. If you, as a parent, don't want your child to go to drag queen story hour or drag queen brunch or a pride parade, guess what? There's not a pack of roving drag queens out there that is going to grab your child off the street and force them to participate. Stop being a fucking fearmonger and use your head.

This also applies to church, btw. If you are afraid that an adult is going to assault your child or have inappropriate conduct with them, be a fucking parent and do something about it, and don't just act like it's only a subset of people who do these things. You know it's not and you're acting purposefully ignorant when you close your eyes to reality. Abusers and pedos can be literally anybody, of any race, sexuality, gender, religion, or job. Protect your children yourself. Don't expect others to do it for you.

When you ignore certain groups of people because you want to demonize other groups you are doing the exact opposite of protecting children. Guess which group wants you to look at everything but their churches? I'll give you a hint. I talked about them earlier. They are banking on support from other Christians (or at least apathy) to get the laws they want in place. They don't care if your children are hurt in church. They just want you to believe that it won't happen there so you won't oppose the world they're trying to build.

They don't care about your children. They would serve them to the devil himself if it would bring about their vision.

You say you are the ones who are responsible for your children. Then be responsible and do it because so far all I'm seeing is a bunch of people who want everyone but themselves to raise their children. Sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it.

#same old story different century #raise your own kids damnit #i'm not your nanny #and neither is anyone else #RAISE #YOUR #OWN #long post #parenting wank #not star wars

[asf-crafts]

Weekly Report • wknr.3 [2023]

Intro

Greetings everyone of the internet.

You may wonder "hm, what is this? Is this something new?"

Well yes. It is. I figured out, I usually either spam with several pictures or events a week or day, or you don't hear anything from me for several days or even weeks (due personal circumstances).

That's why I came up with the idea for make a weekly report (or actually a newsletter??), it is a bit of a testphase, so Either it becomes something... Or nothing at all.

Time will tell I suppose.

Sunday January 22th 2023

On sunday morning I started a new armwarmer project, with yarn I have used before for another set armwarmers (which became personal use).

At the beginning of the day I started on the new pair, and at the end of the day, this was the result:

It has been quite a lot of a knitwork.

Monday, January 23th 2023

A new day, but not much time for crafting. I work usually on mondays at a greenhouse. It is a very nice place to work at, but it doesn't pay well. Which is understandable.

As I stood up at 5AM, I got dressed for the day. I leave just over 7AM from home which gives me a good two hour time to spend my time onto working onto things. Which isn't very handcrafty...

My morning routine before work is mainly administrational. I check out my notes on the items I made, am making and am going to make, check if they are either posted on Vinted or if I am preparing them for the launch of my Ko-Fi shop.

Then I continue my administrational work and make the photos Ko-Fi•shop ready. Which takes quite a while. I can't finish one set of photos & product description within those two hours.

Which makes me a little worried if my launch in February will be doable at all. I might have made a little underestimation of time management.

Then, I went to work. at work, I just do... work. It should make sense (I hope).

Once I got home I planned to continue knitting, I didn't get the chance to do a lot. But at the end of the day, I reached this:

Tuesday, January 24th 2023

I had a good start of the day, before work I went to work on preparing the Ko-Fi•shop just like the day before. In fact I accomplished to prepare Bracelet-27072021 almost entirely ready for launch.

For me, it is the second publish-ready item I have in the waiting room for the Ko-Fi•shop.

After that, I headed to work and got to do what work is for. 

When I got home, I had quite some time to knit. A lot more time than Monday which is relieving.

At the end of the day I got this far:

Wednesday, January 25th 2023

This day started differently than I planned. Wednesdays are my free days from work. And the day before, I planned to take pictures of 3 bracelets I made the othe year, so I can prepare them to enter the Ko-Fi website.

As well, did I plan to make a few notebooks, either for myself or for selling.

And of course: I planned to knit.

But when I woke up in the morning, I was stressed out due a nightmare I had, nightmares aren't that rare to me. But they do push me off guard for a while, besides that I was so low on energy I couldn't get anything done by my hands.

As the day went on, I rarely did anything, till noon striked and I started knitting. The other plans I had, fell into the water.

In the evening I went to Craftclub, and took some of my square frames with me, I knew the members were curious how I do these kind of things, so that I did, I explained and showed them. 

Again I was pushed to the fact that Wednesday is not my day, I kept dropping things every few minutes. My Lord, it was a bit of a disaster.

But by the end of the day, I actually accomplished finishing one of the two armwarmers, which I am proud of.

Thursday, January 26th 2023

As the previous day, I started the day drained. I usually get up by 5 in the morning to enjoy the peace in the house without getting bothered by my housemates/parents. However I was drained and tired and stayed in bed till 7am. I decided to pick up my plan from the previous day, snapping some photos of the bracelets. And actually; I succeeded. Not that it went fast. It was 9am when I actually finished.

Gosh this day is a slow and exhausting day. I hope Friday will be a better day, since I have work and I'd like to be able to focus and feel less depressed, otherwise it'll be a long day.

As I planned to, I continued to knit on my project. And by the end of the day this was the result:

Friday, January 27th 2023

On this day, nothing much happened. At the morning I worked on the photos for the Ko-Fi•shop.

And after work, I had too little energy to craft, so I didn't knit.

Saturday, January 28th 2023

Also, on this day, I do have work. Usually I don't but sometimes I join to help in busy periods like now.

I didn't had time this morning to do some photowork before heading to work (work starts earlier on saturdays, also lasts at most half a day).

When I got home, I started to knit, and gosh, I knitted quite a lot for only half a day.

This is the result:

Outro

This was the news for this very first weekly progress report.

I hope you all enjoyed it.

And maybe, till next week ;)

Please check my Links if you read this all, also please consider reblogging. I'm an independent artist and I'd like to be seen by an audience a little more.

#handmade #creative #ko-fi #craft #art #blog #tumblr #tumblr blog #independent artist #crafter

[sirfrogsworth]

First, we had FREEDOM fries and FREEDOM toast... because French people can suck it. They know what they did.

But now BIG TECH is censoring EVERYTHING. You can't say a damn thing if you are a conservative in the US. At this point, why even bother posting on social media?

I mean, look at top-performing link posts by U.S. Facebook pages in the last 24 hours...

1. Fox News 2. Ben Shapiro 3. VOA Burmese News 4. Dan Bongino 5. Peachy Sunday 6. Fox News 7. Diabetes Awareness by GreaterGood 8. Ben Shapiro 9. VOA Burmese News 10. Dan Bongino

FACEBOOK IS SILENCING RIGHT WING VOICES! AHHHHHH!

So we need another dose of freedom.

We need...

THE FREEDOM PHONE!

The Freedom Phone is a new business venture started by Eric Finmen—the world's "Youngest Bitcoin Millionaire."

Wasn't he adorkable?

You see, his folks gave him $1000 to invest when he was 12. He bought a bunch of Bitcoin. Naturally. And when he turned 18, it was worth over a million bucks. By 21 he had 2.3 million dollars and was the pride of capitalism.

So obviously that makes him a $BUSINESS GENIUS$

And not *INCREDIBLY LUCKY*

And because he is a business genius, he has decided to start a new chapter of his life as an entrepreneur. Because we definitely don't have enough of those.

His first entrepreneurial BIG BOY IDEA is selling the FREEDOM PHONE.

Let's check out the specs on this bad boy from the actual website.

Large storage, you say? 6 inches of screen??? GREAT CAMERA!!!

Well, with specificity like that, I'm sold.

People get way too caught up in the gigahertz and megapixels anyway. You don't need to know that stuff. He says it is "affordable, yet fast" and I choose to believe him.

I'm sure it is on par with every other $500 phone on the market—all while being made in the good old U.S. of A.

Because you wouldn't call it a *FREEDOM PHONE* if it weren't American-made.

That would be dumb.

"In fact, Freedom Phone appears to be a simple rebranding of a budget phone called the 'Umidigi A9 Pro,' made by the Chinese tech company Umdigi. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Finman confirmed that the Freedom Phone was manufactured by Umdigi, but couldn't say immediately which Umdigi phone it was based on.

The Freedom Phone's $500 price tag would represent a substantial markup on the A9 Pro. The phone is available on Chinese retail giant AliExpress for $120—less than one-quarter of the price of a Freedom Phone."

— The Daily Beast

Oh.

Ummmmmmmmmm...

Is there anyone out there who can put a positive spin on this? Because I'm failing to think of anything at the moment.

EXACTLY! The OS is chockfull of FREEDOM and that's what really matters.

Real AMERICAN developers toiled over the FreedomOS to make sure it was as free as humanly possible. I'm sure this OS is built from the ground up and that extra $400 expense is due to the extensive R&D needed to create this marvel of digital liberty.

SEE! IT'S BASED ON FREE SPEECH!

Annnnd... it is BASED on something called GrapheneOS, apparently.

Okay, so full disclosure.

The FreedomOS developers may have used an already developed Android fork and skinned it to look more... Freedom-y. You saw the cool flag wallpaper, right?

Truthfully, licensing that wallpaper was the bulk of the development cost. They may not have done much beyond aesthetic tweaks.

That is... except for the UNCENSORABLE APP STORE!!

*patriotic fanfare*

*eagle caws in the distance*

*someone is shot in a hunting accident*

This is where that extra $400 of value comes in. No apps will be censored. EVER. You can get your Gab and your Parler and your Gettr. And you never have to worry about those apps being unavailable because Zuckerdumb said NO.

Okay, full disclosure again.

99% of the apps banned in the iPhone and Google Play stores are due to things like malware, viruses, and illegal activity. So for every Parler that goes uncensored—so does the app that looks just like Parler but is titled "Parler Totally the Real One" and is full of viruses ready to steal your banking information. And an app store without restrictions could also end up being a haven for child pornography and illegal drug sales.

But hey... PARLER, AMIRITE?

Soooo... what happens if you don't like this incredible $500 phone worth $120?

Good news! There is a *stellar* return policy.

You get the box. You stare at the box. You DO NOT open the box.

And if that experience is unsatisfying, you can return that box within 30 days.

If you get the box. Cut a hole in that box. Stick your freedom in that box.

Well... hopefully you like it.

In conclusion, it's hard to put a price on freedom.

Sure, this is probably a giant grift.

And this conservative Bitcoin douche doesn't seem to mind grifting his own political brethren.

Because capitalism is his mistress and loyalty is fleeting in the whitest rightest of wings.

But if you want FREEDOM in your smartphone, you should definitely pay this clearly trustworthy bleach blonde, scruffy chinned lottery winner $500 for a cheap Chinese Android phone that will fill up with viruses faster than you can boot up the phone (because it is made with inferior hardware and booting probably takes a while).

#long post

[awakeshedreams]

sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

.

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

.

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

#bangtan #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts smut #bts au #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts high school au #jungkook high school au

[cherrykindness]

let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.

#harry styles imagine #imagine1d #imagine harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #fluffy imagine #harry fluff #actress reader

[brakingpoint]

okay i'm still technically on hiatus but i wanted to get this out into the world now rather than coming back after like a week when the vibes have hopefully settled a lot more just to be like AND ANOTHER THING. guess i'm becoming an f1blr essayist now. insert meme about either dying a hero or living long enough to see yourself become the villain here.

i know tumblr is for a lot of us a website where we come to express our opinions on f1, and opinions can get very polarising and heated because that's the nature of following sports, especially in situations like sundays where the stakes were so high (a crash that could easily have ended a lot worse on the one hand, and a stark reminder that every misstep by black athletes is read as an open invitation for racist abuse on the other). but i think sunday's drama was a culmination of what i've been feeling for a very long time which is that the energy on this website during this championship battle has been getting - to use my Word Of The 2021 Season - absolutely fucking rancid

like i am a 24 year old adult who has been on tumblr for coming up to 9 years. on main i've had controversial popular posts, i've done months-long bouts of fandom discourse, i've had anon hate, i've seen it all. i would consider myself a generally unbothered & seasoned tumblr user at this point. and this is the first time i've ever felt so absolutely awful coming onto a website i use for fun that i've had to go on hiatus for the sake of my mental health. on a smaller scale i should not have to feel like i have to go for an hour long walk after every single race just to avoid the peak of people scrapping on here. i mean the walks are lovely i would recommend that to all of you but still

i think there's a little bit of an "if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen" attitude on here, but there's a difference between someone throwing a tantrum at a little bit of healthy debate or differing opinions & people feeling like they can't even be on this website because every time something happens in this sport people start whipping out flamethrowers in the proverbial kitchen. for the past few races i think we have been toeing the line of what constitutes healthy normal sports fan debate vs outright negativity. and considering i know i am not the only person who has felt the need to take a break from tumblr in the aftermath of this weekend (and i've seen people saying this who are lewis fans, max fans, both fans, neither fans, so this is something affecting people on all sides of this debate) i think i can safely say that line has been well and truly crossed

at the end of the day i think it's important for all of us to remember that this is a website where posts are public and the blocking functions are buggy at best. not only that but we all know how f1 trends every time a driver blinks because the liveblogging-heavy culture in this fandom means that posts come in an absolute barrage because everyone feels the need to share their opinions on absolutely everything. so a) it isn't always possible to avoid content you don't want to see and b) after a race as controversial as sunday's the sheer number and concentration of posts can very quickly make someone's entire dash an uninhabitable zone

so idk where exactly i'm going with this other than i think a lot of people really need to start thinking a bit harder about what they post & the fact that if your emotions are high after a race, it's very likely that other people's will be too. your blog isn't a closed discord where only your friends who agree with you & asked for your opinions will see them. just like. remember at the end of the day that this is a website people use for fun, not every thought you have needs to be publicly posted uncensored for clout, it is so easy to just DM your mates instead

we don't have to make f1blr a happy shiny discourse-free place where everyone holds hands and sings songs together after every grand prix. but i don't think the current state of affairs is remotely sustainable or healthy for anyone involved

#this is incoherent as fuck bc i just wanna get these thoughts out and DIP #like AT the bare minimum i think you guys all need to get a lot better at tagging negative posts appropriately #(ie. not putting them in The Tag but also using an easily blacklistable anti [driver] tag) #but i also think some things just do not need to be posted at all regardless of how good your tagging etiquette is

[dazaily]

todoroki bringing his s/o to an amusement part

my first bnha work... kinda nervous posting this cuz like bnha(?) idk,, but for my manz, i will pull through!! hope u enjoy ^^

description: you and todoroki have been dating for awhile now, but recently he realised he never initiates dates, and so he planned and invited u to an amusement park for a date. 

warnings: gender neutral! reader. fluff. clichéd. i wrote this at 4-5am.

* ·    　 ˚  + 　　　 ·    *  ˚ 

my manz is innocent, like lbr, he aint gonna know shiz abt dating..

sooo, the first few weeks into ur relationship(?) he was alr facing his first crisis.

he felt like nothing changed, despite having transitioned from a platonic to romantic relationship.

and so, being the sweet and clueless lil bean he is, he went to seek for advice from his one and only bestie bakugou, midoriya.

“hey, midoriya, what does one do in a relationship” why am i making him talk like someone from the shakespearean era tf

“oh, um todoroki?? are u asking for y/n? if so, i don't think im not the right person u should be asking,, i mean ive never even been in a rela--”

“well, u were my best choice” 

midoriya notices the absolute chaos they are surrounded by in the 1A dorm 

“ok i may be the best choice.” said in tiny.

so after a discussion that dragged for way longer than it had to be 2 days, todoroki settled on the idea of bringing u on a date to the amusement park.

cute idea right? yes. there's no twist, like i said this is a fluff. 

n e ways, he was an awkward lil bby asking u out, cuz he's not used to receiving or giving affection,,,, he's trying his best.

“um, y/n, are u free this sunday..?”

“sunday, hmm i think i alr have smtg planned..”

“oh, um, well then, its fine, its nothing important..”

if u weren't hit by a pang of guilt, idk what type of monster u are.

“nah, that was just jokes, so whats up?”

and that was how y'all ended up in universal studios japan. usj

endeavour’s bout to be big mad when he realises the missing money from his wallet.

“sHOUTOOOOO!!” >:[

n e ways..

so ur date started with u dragging shouto around the entire park, with the goal of riding every single ride 

ofc he was fine with it, he was happy as long as he got to spend time with u. a simp.

but since u guys went on a weekend, there were way more people than u guys originally expected, like wHOA,,, 

the park was basically filled with people from all over the world, even though it wasn't holiday season..

so ur dreams and hopes of riding eery single ride, may be impossible..

hAH, YOU THOUGHT, YOUR MANZ FATHER MAY BE THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH, BUT HES STILL TOP 2 HERO. 

ur manz got u the express pass.

the one time ur grateful for the existence of his father.

so yall spent the first 2-4 hours just riding every single ride u could possibly find. 

shouto’s probably the type that is willing to try anything, i don't think he’ll be scared of any rides in particular. 

in the contrary, i feel like there'll be rides that he's lowkey excited to ride on, since he never had the chance to enjoy these events and places as a child. cuz of his sh*tty father.

he would ofc try to hide his excitement, but after being by his side for awhile, uve learnt how to differentiate his different emotions, despite his general nonchalant self. 

him being excited, makes u happy, cuz its rare that u get to see these sides of him.

omg pls protect him at all costs,, he needs it,,, he's so precious,, shower him with all the love in the world.

so y'all be running all over the place, until hunger slaps u in the face like that isekai truck that ive been waiting for. 

and so its food time!

“hmm, since were in an amusement park, we should get some hot dogs, churros, oMG and cotton candy!!”

“..what? c-ch-churros?? what are those?”

“holy sh-- u don't kNOW WHAT CHURROS ARE!? we’re getting churros right now.”

“but, i want soba... the cold one”

u ended up getting both. cuz it isn't todoroki without cold soba.

and it was back to running around the entire park riding everything.

but instead of running yallz were walking hand in hand, as if u guys were an old couple taking a stroll in the local park

and instead of the entire park, y'all were just in the harry potter section..

don't judge, its cute. and the food did some numbers to ur stomachs, so u were avoiding some rides till u digest ur food. 

while walking around, the sun was setting creating a beautiful scenery. 

wanting this to be a lasting memory, u convinced todoroki to take a photo together. 

u wanted to take an aesthetic couple photo to show off to other people who were trying to steal ur hunk of a man. 

at first u had asked random passerby to help yalls take a photo,, but being the attention-starved lil bby he is, he felt awkward posing in front of random people. 

which led u guys to just set up the camera on a small ledge with a castle in the bg. 

it was then, todoroki had experience a flashback to the conversation that him and midoriya had. 

“hmm, wikihow says that every date has to end in a kiss, for it to be called successful..”

“is this website trustable??”

“it should be.. anyways just do it.”

coming back to reality, todoroki suddenly felt a sense of urgency, the date was coming to an end, and he hasn't kissed u yet,,,,

at that moment, as the timer of the phone camera was reaching 0, with u and ur wide smile posing for the camera

todoroki gently turned ur head to face his, and he had kissed u, for public display.

ur face immediately turned red, but u eventually returned the kiss, after getting over the shock. 

after separating, todoroki was silent, slightly scared and worried of ur reaction(?)

“why didn't u tell me u were going to kiss me~~ u should've told me so i can at least look good in the photo~~”

“..huh? well, um, i just had he sudden urge to do it?” kinda ooc

he was flustered, confused, embarrassed and giddy all at the same time

but the hugest wave of relief came over him, as he began to relax. 

“well we can just take another photo if u don't like it--”

“nO, i like this photo. but im always open for another kiss.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

getting over ur prior embarrassment, u tried flirting with him, returning the bold action he had pulled off earlier. 

“well, i wouldn't reject an offer like that would i..”

surprising u by picking up on the offer u suggested, todoroki gave u another kiss, easily taking ur breathe away.

well, ig this just confirms that wikihow is reliable. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i can't believe i ended a fic with a kiss,, this is the most cop out ending ive written but im way too tired to write properly rn,, 

˚  ˚ . ·   　 * 　 ⋆  * 　

a/n: hihi, so im kinda nervous posting this, cuz thus far i have only done haikyuu works so like??? i feel like i have an overall better understanding of haikyuu characters and their dynamics, but i wanted to write something for my precious icyhot <3 if this piece does well, ill try and write more about bnha characters. hope it was good!!

#bnha #boku no hero acadamia #mha #my hero academia #bnha imagines #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero #boku no hero fanfic #todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki headcanons #bnha shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki #todoroki fluff #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki fanfic #bnha hc #bnha hcs #bnha headcanons #todoroki hc #todoroki hcs