#i don’t wanna deal with it anymore

[pumpk-n]

had to delete most of my social media apps because i was depression posting too much and scaring the hoes

#anyways back to my roots of depression posting on tumblr #life has been beating my ass this entire year and i don’t have it in me to try anymore #was so excited for my partner to get home today and they were exposed to covid so #i probably won’t be able to spend time with them or be close to them for a month instead of a week #for those new in the crowd my number one love language is physical touch #i’m just so past burnt out so passed depressed i have been empty all year and i rlly don’t have it in me to keep going and keep trying #my life sucks it’s always sucked i’ve always been miserable #i don’t wanna deal with it anymore #tmi

[shima-draws]

What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,

#Shima speaks #I’M SO UPSET. #THIS IS JUST RUKKHADEVATA ALL OVER AGAIN. GENSHIN STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS AND MAKING ARCHONS CRY #Why is it always the women. Stop doing this to our women. #Genshin Impact #Imagine putting on an act nonstop continuously for hundreds of years and not being able to tell anyone the truth #And dealing with the anxiety of your whole country dying out and it weighs on your shoulders and makes you so stressed #And you cry yourself to sleep every night bc you’re so tired you’re SO tired and it’s been centuries but you have to keep going. #You have to keep up the act you have to keep faking it you have to keep lying #You have to pretend everything is fine when it’s NOT and you don’t know what to do and you still can’t tell a single fucking SOUL #AGHHHH FURINA. MY SWEET GIRL. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS #Genshin Impact spoilers #Furina #Focalors #I just wanna scoop her up into a big hug and tell her it’s okay 😭 Girl you don’t gotta act anymore you can finally FINALLY rest

[shapeofmetal]

Me: hmm I did not care for that interaction. “Blocks” ahh that feels better. Now I can go about my day.

The person I just blocked: on public social media “And then they BLOCKED ME. IT WAS SO RUDE. IM ENTITLED TO TALK TO OREO AND NOW THAT THEY HAVE BLOCKED ME HOW AM I GOING TO TALK TO THEM??? I’m deprived. Oreo is problematic actually! 🤬🤬🤬

Me: wow I’m so glad blocking people means I don’t have to see what they are saying. I’m living my life now and moving on.

The person I blocked: MOM SOMEONE ON TWITTER BLOCKED ME CALL THEIR MOM AND MAKE THEM TALK TO ME.

#the fact that multiple people are going to assume I’m talking about them specifically says a lot #I’ve had to deal with pushy or rude people over the years #I’ve always just blocked and moved on #if someone else blocks me I see that as them saying they don’t want to interact and I respect that #I’m not entitled to their time or energy #that goes both ways #if I block someone I’m not obliged to talk to them anymore #that’s why blocking is an option #so many people online treat me like I owe them something #wether it’s art or a conversation or a friendship #I don’t owe people anything #I just wanna draw weird robots #I’m not going to name any names or call anyone out for being obnoxious #if people want to make public callouts denouncing me for the crime of blocking them that’s their problem #I will say though that what I have been shown of those posts is so cringe #I do not regret a single person I have blocked #if you end up blocked on the internet build a bridge and get over it.

[autistic-katara]

smthn feels a bit strange abt this christian girl ik ranting to me abt antisemitism at her school

#like idk maybe i’m her only jewish friend (not rlly idk) that doesn’t go to her school but still like #idk it feels weird 😭 #like i wouldn’t dm my muslim mutuals to rant abt islamophobia they probably don’t wanna deal w/ anymore of that shit and it doesn’t directl #affect me yk #idk #ryan shut the fuck up

[sunnibits]

nah bc what does it say about my ofmd fandom experience that instead of being like ‘yay I’m excited to join a new fandom and make new friends!’ when it comes to bg3, I’m just like,, ‘god I hope it doesn’t turn out awful again’

#:/// izzy fixation hurt me too bad y’all 😭😭 #that shit fucked me up #tbh I do think the bg3 fandom vibes are just a little ick to me so far #but there is also some clouded judgement there I think. less optimism #the ofmd fandom experience was just so fucking shitty and exhausting and stupid #that like. to be fully honest??? I’m kind of scared to get involved in new fandoms now :// #not to be a pessimest but I swear nobody wants to have fun anymore they just wanna start discourse and complain about shit 😭😭 #and I really really don’t have the energy to deal with that again

[saintlesbian]

as for the rest of the ep…

Chalynn truthers we won. we fucking won 🍾🍾🍾

Lois trying to talk Ned into making peace w/ Michael and Drew sounds REAL funny knowing that drew and Michael r still planning on pushing him out of ELQ again. fuck those two forever actually, y’all can make peace in hell

speaking of drewfus, I wish I could be glad he’s leaving but it’s not for very long and crew is gonna be annoying abt it I’m sure. this version of drew is such a shell of himself that anytime hes brought up I just feel disgusted 😖

I’m getting tired of Sonny bringing up Carly when talking to nina it just feels WEIRD… I really don’t wanna see a Carson reunion but it’s starting to feel like the pikeman/cyrus bs might end up being the catalyst for one… sonaritas should we be worried. 😟

also Tolly agreeing to use krissy as the surrogate… wasn’t there literally a whole argument against doing this months back that resulted in tolly icing krissy out for several weeks…? once again I must assert this whole surrogate storyline is a load of barnacles

#pentababbles #general hospital #I’m happy abt the proposal :) but I also feel like they kinda did this so they could be married b4 Gregory croaks #still! taking my wins where I can! their scenes today were sweet and I liked it 👍 #i know ned has beef w/ nina over the SEC thing but. once he finds out Michael knew and STILL tried to push him out of ELQ #nina should be the least of his worries. since let’s face it drew earned that prison sentence 😅 and it’s not a crime to report a crime! #the bensons r just mad they had to face even the mildest of consequences for their actions tbh #drew goin to Australia tho like. take joss and Carly w/ u I don’t wanna see them again either #have joss spend time w/ her Aussie father or something I just can’t take her anymore #also the fact that he’s leaving for Christmas so Michael doesn’t have to… bro I hate him so much #bro you just got out of PRISON how about you spend time with your DAUGHTER that you PROMISED to be there for you ASSHOLE #and with drew going away… PLEASE I don’t want a Carson retread please please please #like I find crew annoying and meaningless but at least they’re over in their own corner. but I was actually starting to like Sonny #a Carson retread is just gonna make him suck again 😞 #cannot stand the surrogate storyline and tolly is nothing to me anymore but w/e I can deal with it. #however if they really are setting up the surrogate arc to be an angst backdrop for kraze… burned-lariat go get them royalty checks I stg 🤣 #but yea that’s my thoughts! story feels discombobulated as ever but we soldier on iguess

[somewillwin]

Hi! I saw ur post regarding ur financial situation. I don't have much atm, but I could put aside money for a commission if that would be of any help. Im sorry that this is happening and I hope everything gets better for you and that you're doing alright. ❤️

I am so so so grateful my dude, like you don’t even know. But if you don’t have much and are just commission me to help me…. Pls don’t do it.

I feel like we are all struggling with money right now and I really don’t want you to spend extra just to help me, commissions are expensive. If you really want a commission? Then yeah ofc she I would be super glad to take it.

Just wanna say that a reblog of the post helps just as much and I really appreciate this message, you made me cry for real.

Im doing better than when I wrote the post. I’m still struggling but I’m not as overwhelmed as I was that day.

I honestly didn’t expect much of it but I got really emotional that day with the support you guys have shown me 🥲

#gabi answers things #im used to deal with things on my own and I didn’t expect that #i usually make kofi events when I’m struggling but I haven’t finished the last one so I didn’t know what to do #i don’t wanna adult anymore

[dunadaan]

I’ve been feeling Créa creep up on me as of late and today I went back and reread my little document where I type up random ideas for scenes/fics and I was like. Wow who wrote this. This is really good. Why isn’t there more of this damn. But also wow I really put miss créa through the blender and she is a fine red mist a lot. But that is the life of a ranger…and even when she’s not a ranger anymore I press blend on high and she is sadly used to that

#(I forgot what made me think of it but I had this fantastic idea post war where Créa has tried to keep herself together) #(and it’s one specific incident that really makes her crack- I wrote a really compelling idea of her having PTSD and it unexpectedly) #(manifesting in a place where she didn’t anticipate it. and ofc it’s medieval medicine so they don’t know what PTSD is exactly but they) #(not like we know ptsd anyways. so it’s a really interesting exploration of grief and suppression and dealing with it- or not dealing with) #(it in this case. bc she’s avoided it for years and she’s like. god I fucking miss being a ranger so much. that was ME.) #(now I’m not a ranger anymore and I lost my entire identity) #(she can’t return to Evendim for a long time and desperately misses it. most of her friends are dead) #(or gone up north or treat her differently) #(she feels really isolated and alone even though she’s aware she’s not but it’s a lot to deal with!!! and I didn’t quite have an ending) #(but it was really compelling and I need to return to it one day) #(the other one I wrote ideas for and wrote a small scene was crea’s first experience meeting rangers) #(back when the angle was new. sighs. the potential…crea interacting with and learning ranger culture for the first time) #(after being alienated and kept away not of her own will. and her having a scene with faeron and standing on the bridge with him) #(but also of her thinking of what her life might’ve been like had she not been lied to about her heritage or had it hidden) #(she’s at a huge disadvantage-she barely knows dúnedain/elf history or sindarin etc. she could’ve had a whole different life) #(and AGAIN the theme of GRIEF- grieving smth that was kept from you. a life you’ll never have but could’ve) #(anyways. that probably all could’ve been in a post LOL and not in tags) #(but yeah damn!!! I was writing some good stuff!!!) #(now I wanna replay all the LOTRO areas again..)

[sloaaaa]

why are splattershots so fucking bloodthirsty dude they’re making this game kinda not fun anymore 😭😭😭

#splootdoolies #am i just bad at this game??? #fuck i wish side order would come out alr bc i don’t wanna deal w pvp bullshit anymore ksjhjdfg #egh i got what i wanted in the catalogue alr so i’m goin back to salmon run hah

[whoblewboobear]

Knowing that I have to go home after an 8-hour shift at the job I hate to force myself to deep clean the depression nest my room has become while neck deep in the same depressive episode for the past 3 months on top of chronic pain makes me wanna scream like can I just smoke weed and sleep on the couch instead pls?

#tw mental health #personal #idk how to tag this #I’m doin BAD #like- I think I’ve run into that gifted kid thing where it’s like yeah I was told I was good at this and then growing up and realizing I #never developed the skill beyond childhood but instead of gifted kid syndrome it’s high functioning depression #like I hit my 20s and I can’t high function my way through this shit anymore #I don’t know how and that makes it worse bc I’m looking back on teen me who could pretend for days and power through #now I’m just- a depressive episode hits and I just.. everything stops y’know? #im so tired and overwhelmed and I just don’t know where to start to even dig myself out of it #I’m self soothing to the point of it being harmful #if I don’t think about how bad it is and instead focus on whatever interest it feels better #my therapist has been out sick for almost 2 months now and I’m worried about her but we work so well together that I don’t wanna find #someone new and start all over again #I just.. #I tried telling my family I’m struggling and my mom told me to pray about it so it’s like okay I’m just alone to deal with this like I #always do but I’m just.. I’m not doing well enough to be able to handle this on my own and no one is listening when I say that #I’m not going to do anything but I can’t pretend the s*ic*d*l thought aren’t at the front of my mind #every single problem I have would disappear for me if I wasn’t here and that’s bitter sweet because I want to see this life through #depression #mental health #struggling with depression #major depressive disorder

[faerie-daze]

Can we please go back to when rich people kept pet artists? I don’t want to do this job thing anymore.

#I don’t wanna deal with this uncertainty of what my boss wants from me anymore

[lesbiansanemi]

And when I thought things were finally fine and had calmed down my roommate starts sending me shelters because he wants me to get rid of my cat 🙃🙃🙃

#‘she’s peeing on my stuff 😡’ #listen I get that that sucks #but also…. we had a system in place that got her stop #I get putting cat spikes on the couches was mildly annoying but guess what #she wasn’t pissing on them anymore #and tell your bf to stop leaving your bedroom door open if you don’t want her to piss on your bed #like ????? #I know he’s stopped doing these things because the bf finds them mildly inconveniencing #sorry I’m not getting rid of my cat that I’ve had for almost four years and who got rehomed TWICE before I got her #because you have to put in a tiiiiiny bit of effort #‘she pissed on my shoes 😡’ #she has literally never peed on shoes before I guarantee you it’s because I left for a weekend and she’s anxious #fucking calm down #you could also just not leave your shoes by the door #he already rehomed our rats because he found them annoying which I feel bad about #I didn’t fight him much on that one because they were more his than mine so if he wanted to make that decision whatever #but hell no I’m not taking my cat to a fucking SHELTER fuck you #‘she drives me insane tho’ #okay well your fucking boyfriend drives me insane and you’re not seeing me demand you take him to a fucking shelter so lol #GOD this is not what I wanna deal with when I get home #and it’s just pissing me off cuz I get it’s annoying #but we’d gotten her to stop mostly and now it’s started again because of things 🙃🙃 the fucking bf is doing 🙃🙃 #so like this is your own fault and you’re expecting me to get rid of my baby because your bf can’t be assed to slightly alter #how he likes to live which is apparently being allergic to just keeping the bedroom door closed #jfc #kaz rambles

[flowercrowngods]

when chapter 10 said

He feels a bit like a spooked deer right now, his legs tingling with the urge to get away, to jump up and run — away from the kind voice, away from the eyes that are looking at him. Looking at him like there’s something there.

There isn’t. Steve knows. He searched. He tried.

:/

#this is actually about me. and when chapter 8 said ‘he needs to be known to be human’ that was also about me #yes they are juxtaposed yes he cannot be known yes there’s nothing left to know yes he’s very wrong about both he’s he’s me #anyway if i end up turning off asks one of these days it’s because i can’t deal with the kindness anymore #makes me wanna tear at my skin and see what you see yknow? anyway. #dio is not fine #and neither is steve actually but we been knew both of those #but like MAN i wanna. i wanna write essays about how sometimes i say things in this fic and then don’t realise how deep they lay #when i plucked them. and how they keep resonating. making it hard to breathe etc etc #blah

[dexalyys]

hi! just wondering, is there anywhere to read plush star fever from the beginning if i don’t have twitter?

uuunfortunately it’s only available on twitter ;; id upload it to other platforms too, but since the majority of the comic up until recently was a tmc au, it’s super outdated and i wouldn’t want to revive that aspect of it by keeping the context of previous panels. i have considered maybe re-making the entire thing for fun a little while down the line ? but i’m not 100% on that

#asks #psf #of course i don’t mind it having roots in tmc #but if i were to reupload it elsewhere then obviously i’m not going to market it as a tmc au anymore duh #but then all of ch1 and most of ch 2 would raise some eyebrows. and i don’t feel like having to explain it every time #‘s just more of a hassle than i wanna deal with ever

[loveofastarvingdog]

i’m gonna be honest it makes me. well.

#timothy's txts. #pissed off and sick ! #some of you are still actively engaging with w* blogs like. well. i think ultimately it’s the hypocrisy? the obfuscation? #i don’t wanna interact with you and i’m pretty sure you don’t wanna interact with me because fundamentally we have different opinions and #beliefs. like at some point please block me first right? just block me first. #this has literally been brought up before. #anyways this is not about anyone still following me etc so if you’re seeing this it’s not you dw #just needed to vent i guess. because i thought it was something i wouldn’t have to deal with one my dash anymore </3 #like just make it easy enough to block and move on that’s all i ask

[shutupdevvie]

made my instagram private because i have one billion porn bot accounts following me and liking my story per day

#i like leaving it public so all my mutuals that i don’t already follow can find my account #but i simply cannot deal with this anymore #so if you wanna follow me on instagram #please lmk