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luffyvace · 4 months

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STRAW HAT HEADCANONS

YUP YUP

as a thx for being patient for me not posting all day-

you get the whole crew!! :)

(some of these are based off true stories i’ve heard of from my friends 😭🧍‍♀️)

Luffy

never a peaceful day goes by

hes the type of guy that has to make noise if it’s “too silent”

like bro can’t we get some peace and quiet??

thrives in chaos

his eye to hand coordination is on point bc this man doesn’t think before he does ANYTHING

steals things from his crew even

if he sees something he likes he just takes it

he goes into the bathroom, puts boogers on the tissue then leaves

doesn’t even take it off or flush it

the next person who has to use that bathroom is mortified

when nami finds out and holds a whole meeting to find out who did this terrible act of crime

they find out it’s him he just laughs

per usual

stop this madness.

(he doesn’t)

Zoro

also a menace

not as straightforward with it though

its more like if he gets water everywhere when washing his hands

or spills his drink when pouring it

or pee all over the toilet

he’s kinda like oh whoops

(for future reference- my apologies for who ever you simp for here bc these headcanons don’t hold back)

anyway

sometimes he doesn’t shower after he trains

and just walks in the kitchen full body REEKING 😭😭😭

seriously dude take a shower

”i’ll cool off eventually”

THAT AINT GONNA GET RID OF THE STENCH

it makes me doubt he changes his underwear often enough

he leaves empty water bottles everywhere

it’s worse in the crows nest trust

Nami

thankfully this poor victim isn’t nearly as much as a menace

as long as you pay your beli

is genuinely willing to wait as long as it takes to get that money

and if you die she’s taking your life insurance

if your a pirate and have none she probably just takes whatever money and belongings you own

if it’s gems she’ll keep them but otherwise

she sells your clothes and other stuff that’s not worth much

smells like flowers

yes i said it

every time she comes out the shower something chaotic has happened

ah what a refreshing shower..

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUFFY UPSET ANOTHER GOD 😱

😡✊ 🤣 💥 😓 😑

you can guess what happened

Usopp

his luck heavily fluctuates

sometimes he can get away with stealing. from. nami.

wow.

to other times getting blamed for farting

by luffy

and no one likes that feeling

has a better fashion sense but just chooses to dress how he does

no reason really

he can do hair and paint nails

nail painting he learned from kaya

would love horse back riding if he tried

he would suck at first tho

likes little children but they always end up beating him up for some reason

‘his cooking isn’t that good!’

‘let’s jump him!’

‘yeah!!’

besides the usopp pirates—they just do

Sanji

he could pull if he just stopped simping so hard

opla sanji is proof

his favorite thing to cook is spicy foods

him and chopper bond over spices bc some are good for your health and all

chopper sometimes recommends new herbs to put in foods

and vice versa for medicine

he helps chopper shop for herbs and such

if zoro wasn’t his big brother it was def be sanji

i love this duo it need more screen time

Sanji is a natural with children

which is why i wanna know why he ain’t wifed up yet?!

still hasn’t had his first kiss

prob would’ve genuinely married pudding if she was regular girl or at least not a big mom pirate

Chopper

sweetest person ever

looks up to all the straw hats

so he picks up bad habits from them

and is influenced by them easily

they use him as a tie breaker for stuff

they all bribe him to picking they’re option

usually robin, nami, sanji or zoro wins

robin bc she uses her psychological knowledge

nami bc she offers to buy his doctor stuff (which is rare)

sanji bc they have a close bond and relate to each other

and zoro bc they’re bond too (and bc he scares him sometimes- like that time in water 7)

asks people to help him with his doctor research

everyone was willing until the time usopp had diarrhea

then he could only convince luffy to do it 😭

Robin♥︎

her stare scares the rest of the straw hats

if it’s not a genuine smile and more like a distant stare that is

shes always observing and watching

theres no hiding secrets from her

she’s knows all

she actually reminds me of a friend i had irl and idk how to feel abt it

she wasn’t a bad person

she was just

just like robin 🧍‍♀️

anyway

i wonder if robin would read stephen king?

she would prob big up the book

only for them to find out it’s pretty dark

she prefers tea over coffee any day

its healthier w more health benefits

it just suits her taste pallet more

plus it doesn’t stain your teeth yellow n stuff..

Franky

SO LOUD

the second he gets up-

SUPERRRRRRR

its kinda annoying

he doesn’t care much if you don’t like it

Luffy is louder ok

your fine

wants robin to think he’s cool

if you don’t get something he said he doesn’t feel like repeating himself

either leaves out more details the more he explains it

or stares at you until you get it

constantly requesting american food for dinner

he doesn’t mind noodles and other around the world dishes

but can he get some pizza??

is that too much??

actually such a kind and considerate person

can relate to sanji on his kindness and empathy being his superpower

♡♡BROOK♡♡

needs so much more attention

the only one who still laughs at his skull jokes are luffy and chopper

sometimes usopp if it was a good one

loves to exchange books with robin but..

sometimes they’re a bit scary

(dude your a skeleton…YOUR SCARY-)

robin listens to him well bc he has a wealth of knowledge

he is 90 after all

maybe brook gets his clothes tailored??( bc who makes clothes so skinny a skeleton could fit them?!)

can play instruments no ones ever even HEARD OF before

randomly re-realizes his generation of people is dead

like now he has to accommodate with the youngsters 😭

i mean people in one piece live pretty long

but still they’re not out here kickin it n allike they used to

like rayliegh-

except he’s younger-

way younger-

ok so maybe whitebeard

but he was still jukin-

IDK MAN

one piece people are weird..

JINBEI

idk much about him especially but imma try

he’s so cool

he can prob cook really well

has very good survival and leader skills

plus instincts

wait how old is he??

looked it up he’s 46

so he’s the 2nd oldest

technically would be first if brook wasn’t a moving pile of bones

yohohoho!

my apologies your right this is jinbei.

i feel like he can dance

like he knows traditional dances of all sorts

i mean he could travel under water pretty fast

he should be able to visit different places right?

besides, he was a warlord

of course he did!

i feel he wouldn’t be a simp

as in for boa specifically

like he’s like i got too much going on to simp over some youngster

ik he ain’t real old or anything

but my dude a grown man

bro ain’t got time

he’s too busy being himothy

i feel he’d like poems

jinbei’s was like the most serious one. and that was still all over the place itself-

i take it back probably chopper or robin

this was fun but it took so long. it’s ok u guys enjoy :). i’m off to watch some anime 🏃‍♀️

oh my GOODNESS. so many tags 🤓

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roosterforme · 1 year

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Dilf!Jake and his wife are like of Gomez and Morticia Addams were made of gold and sunlight. Literally obsessed with their each other and love and support their children sm

Half the neighbors love them, the ones who don't are envious deep down. All their kids' friends love them bc their cool and nice and when they hit the tween age they develop puppy crushes on them

But also a known fixture of the neighbors and base, king and queen of their little circle tbh. Some people assume they keep up the lovey dovey stuff as an act so someone says something bad about his wife once and Jake is all 🤨😡 . Mrs. Seresin? Hears others complain about their husband's and she's like ???? Jake would simply never

When one of their daughter punch a boy who's harassing her they take her out for ice-cream. Jake ties his sons tie for prom :((. They learn how to curl and style hair together so they can always be prepared for hair emergency with their kids.

I fuckin love dilf Jake and his wife sorry for such a long ask shisisjsh

You gave me a lot of options, so I'm just rolling with it!

This is for my Dagger DILFs 3k party!

You didn't always love coming to these neighborhood parties. You and Jake both felt like everyone else tried to turn everything into a competition.

And for some reason, at the moment, all of the women were in some sort of competition to see whose husband was the worst. As a way of humble bragging about themselves.

"Harry never manages to get his clothes in the hamper. There are always socks three feet away from it on the floor. I mean, it's not that big a deal, because the maid picks up after him, but still."

"You think that's bad? Jeremy can't cook anything. When I asked him for help, he suggested we just hire a personal chef. That's how we ended up with Andre, which is actually great, because he's classically trained."

"Tim wrecked my car last year. That's how I managed to get him to buy me the Land Rover."

You were trying to just sip your wine and mind your own business. It worked for a while, but then they all turned toward you. "Well, what's Jake like? Be honest!"

You tried to shrug it off, saying he was a great husband, but they pressed you for more.

"Honestly? He's an adult. He doesn't miss the hamper, or pee on the bathroom floor. He's not a great cook, but he can take care of himself. He doesn't go out joyriding and wreck my car and bring home a new one like it doesn't even matter."

The women were all glaring at you now. "Oh, so he's perfect, then?" one of them asked with a sneer.

You nodded slowly. "Yeah, he's pretty perfect. He's good in bed, too."

A few seconds later, you were carting your husband out of the party and back down the street to your house. "We are not going back to one of these wine nights again. I hate them," you growled.

"Oh, thank goodness," he agreed, kissing your cheek. "The guys were all bitching about their wives, and then they got mad when I told them I actually like you."

#3k followers #dagger dilfs #if you ask emily

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blizziedoodles · 1 year

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I love this dog, but I am SO OVERSTIMULATED ALL THE TIME now. There are so many problems that are caused by having a baby dog. So many new problems that I never even considered. And the big issue is that I didn’t want the puppy. It was supposed to be my moms puppy but she literally gave up on her the actual first night of having her and I wanted Winter to have a good life with a family who loved her and didn’t constantly scream at her for just being a puppy.

But I’m so tired. There has to be someone at the house all the time to make sure the puppy isn’t getting into stuff because she has anxiety and breaks out of the kennel. We have to keep the doors to the bedrooms and bathrooms all closed so we can keep the dog in our line of sight as best we can, but that means that we have to let the cat in and out of the bedroom and she will start rattling the doorknob LITERALLY THE MOMENT I SIT DOWN and I have to get up and open the door just for her to sit there and not move and then I have to chase the dog back out of my bedroom and this happens MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY.

The puppy has decided now that she will pee multiple times on our walks outside but apparently holds some in so she can still pee when we get back inside 😭😭😭 It’s also been raining and cold and windy for the past two days so I’m miserable outside 😖

The thing that just irritates me the most, aside from the fact that there’s so many other things outside of my control happening around me all at once and my family doesn’t take my feelings into account at all while changing things in my life, is that my mom said “puppies help with depression and that’s part of why I gave you the puppy”

…………..My depression is spiking so hard right now because I am basically on home lockdown, overstimulated and unable to escape for even a few minutes. And I can’t make any plans at all because we can’t do anything without bringing the dog, and we can’t bring the dog to the places we want to go. AND THE DOG HAS ANXIETY so we are having to gently ease her into going places at all but it’s such a struggle. And one last thing. You’d imagine mom and the family at her house would be the easiest way to ease Winter into meeting new people but mom now doesn’t even want her in her house 😡

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