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magicxc · 3 months

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Rain Down On Me

Pairings: Survey Corps x Black!Reader - Where They Like To Cum

Word Count: 4407

Warnings: Just a whole lotta cum lol

A/N: Phew chile, not me dipping my toes in the anime water. It’s gonna be SO much fun! I can’t wait to explore different scenarios and play around with my favorite characters. That being said, expect a wide range of topics from the mundane to the sexy. And for my first piece I had to come out the gate SWINGING lol. So without further ado, enjoy:

Eren - inside. He only committed mass genocide to preserve his race. Might as well see if all his efforts proved futile.

Lets face it, Eren is a rough lover. The only thing gentle about him are his deep green eyes, and even they can be intimidating. But it’s his sheer tenacity that makes him so intense; his need to get something right the first time, everytime, almost concerning. So it should really come as no surprise that he needs to get you pregnant.

Fierce thrusts against your pelvis has you mewling into the evening sky. Both hands locked in a vice grip atop your head, Eren uses his other arm to hook onto the back of your left thigh, wrapping it snugly around his waist.

His key chain dangles above your face, swinging swiftly along to his movements. You’re captivated by the way it twirls in front of you, unaware that you could feel even more turned on than you already do; loud sloshing noises a clear sign of your growing arousal.

“You think you can cum again for me honey? Hmm, just once more to increase our chances.”

Beads of sweat line his forehead while Eren’s face twist in concentration.

Apparently conception works best when the woman is able to orgasm. But according to Eren’s logic, double the orgasms mean double the chances - his thumb mercilessly rubbing against your clit in hopes that she’ll rain down on him once more.

Small drops of sweat pool into your neckline, your body convulsing in sensitivity. But all that does is egg him on with Eren’s fingers circling quicker and his hips driving deeper. Your nails desperately scrape against his knuckles, thighs shaking around his body as you thrash through your release. Head thrown back, you howl into the night, breathlessly panting as tears stream down your face. His lips swallow your sweet sounds, spilling into you as he heavily groans into the kiss.

“Almost honey, I promise. But we can’t be sure if that one will take, so go ahead and turn over for me.”

Levi - inside your mouth; and you better swallow. Did we really expect anything less from mister clean his blade during battle? He hates mess and that applies to the bedroom as well, though he is willing to make exceptions from time to time. So if Levi can’t have your mouth, he will paint your body as a last resort.

Face smushed against his pelvis, his agarwood scented soap engulfs your nostrils, the fragrance deliciously spicy. Levi’s fingers are tangled deep into your locks, his hands guiding you on the exact pace he prefers. It’s nothing too hurried, his thrusting motions almost slothful.

On the field, he’s humanity's strongest soldier. His swift moves and sharp senses are life saving but here, behind closed doors, Levi prefers to take his time with you. He wants to revel in every sensation, his cat-like instincts not missing a beat, from the way your hands grab onto his thighs for stability to the way that your eyelids flutter close when you really get into the moment.

“Mhmm,” he groans. “Open wider for me angel.”

Even now he’s not much of a talker, but he won’t hesitate to tell you exactly how he wants to be pleasured. Obliging to his request, you open your jaws as wide as they’ll go, savoring the taste of Levi as he continues to cram himself to the very back of your mouth.

He’s a stark contrast from the stoic demeanor you’re used to seeing, watching as he falls apart from your expert tongue. You’ve never seen him so desperate, so starved as he loudly pants through his gratification, warm breath fanning past your face as his eyes never leave yours. Levi’s intense gaze fills you with a deep hunger to satisfy him, your pussy sopping at the idea of seeing him finish.

Damp hair sticking to his face, they bounce against his forehead with each jerking motion, his gruff temperament crumbling with every lick, twirl, and suction to his dick. Hands nestled on your jaw, you relish in the way his thumbs softly brush against your cheeks, watching as his thighs quiver and his lips tremble, tongue darting past his teeth to swipe over them.

His languid thrusting picks up in speed, fingers lightly squeezing your skin as you feel his warm release coat the walls of your mouth, your pace unfaltering as you make sure to swallow every drop. Dick slowly sliding past your lips, you watch in awe as the shiny coat glistens before you, thinking how soon enough there’ll be another coat to add to the sticky mess.

“You always do so well for me angel,” he coos, the pads of his thumbs gently caressing the soft skin of your face.

Erwin - on your tits. Though his steel blue eyes are one of his most striking features, they’re good for spotting more than just titans. He’s very much so a breast man at heart and finds them to be a woman's most prominent feature. With the pressures of the government and the stress of being a Commander, he needs something soft to lie on at night - for tranquil purposes of course.

Erwin is one of the most composed people; it's a necessity. It’s how he’s able to assess a situation and get his team to safety - allowing him to effectively delegate to his squad and ensure that the odds are in their favor during missions. But boy does he let loose around you. When the day is finished and his body is aching, he finds solace in you and your breasts.

“Bbbrrrrrrr,” is the rumbling that sounds from your chest, Erwins face buried deep between your breasts as he rapidly shakes his head through the plump globes.

“Are you done Commander?”

Trailing his head up to your neck his mouth lands to your sweet spot, sucking a hickey onto the skin. Moaning, you unclip the bra letting the girls fall freely.

“Baby, it’s Commander out there and daddy in here. You’re not gonna make me repeat myself right?” he cautioned.

You want to. You want to push his buttons and tip him over the edge oh so badly, but his day has been rough enough and you save your bratty behavior for another more lighthearted occasion.

“No sir,” you promised.

“Good,” he says, hands fondling your nipples. “Go ahead and throw the rest of your bras out baby cause I have all the support that you need.”

His head dives to your chest before you have the chance to respond, licking and nibbling against the surface. He gladly leaves bruised spots in their wake, deading the idea for you to wear any deep cut shirts in the days to come.

“On your knees.”

Not that you need to be told twice, your limbs are hitting the ground before he can finish the sentence.

Standing tall above you, his icy stare bores deep into your brown orbs, pride heavy on his face at how well trained you are for him. Unzipping his pants, Erwin lets them fall, your hands reaching to his underwear to free his thick member.

“You gonna keep me waiting baby?”

You wouldn't dream of it.

Sliding his dick inside your mouth, he only intends for you to get it wet, your tongue lapping over his veiny shaft until enough spit has gathered. As inviting as your mouth is, Erwin considers it more as an appetizer, something light to hold him over until the main course.

“That’s enough, now hold up the girls for me.”

Breasts held together in your arms, you push them up and watch as Erwin slides his tip through the middle, a haughty groan slipping past his lips as he does so. He drives his dick upward, slowly at first and then sloppy soon after. Your spit combined with the lush feeling of your perky boobs is his perfect sensational cocktail, one that leaves him drunk on ecstasy and quick to bust.

“You look so fucking sexy right now,” Erwin whimpered. “Stick your tongue out for me, real wide just how I like it.

Tongue hanging out your mouth, it occurs to you that you’d bark if he asked you to; without hesitation. Drool gathers at the tip of your tongue, gradually sliding down to your chest and adding to the slobbery mess down below. Erwin can move with ease and at this angle each time he drives his dick forward, it touches the warm tip of your tongue. Your position won’t allow for much more than that and so you stay put, allowing Erwin to destress through your body, listening intently as his light whines crescendo; his explosive finish splattering against your chest and chin.

Connie - Anywhere! Mans is just happy to finish. Connie is far from preferential, so long as both he and his partner find pleasure. And while he’ll cum wherever you tell him, you two have found it more entertaining to see just where his sperm will land. The more ridiculous the better actually.

A few weeks ago during sex, you had forgotten to take your birth control and in the knick of time Connie pulled out, spraying his seed directly into the sheets next to you. It was a close call, but who could blame him when you felt that good? You found yourselves in a similar situation yesterday and when he pulled out, his load shot across the room, painting the walls. Though it was pretty close in distance, it did pique his interest enough to see just how far his can spunk can land without something to hinder it - and that's how you found yourself in your current predicament, ankles propped next to your head.

While Connie is a bit of a goofball, sex was where he seemed to shine the best; folding your body in ways you didn’t know it could bend. And you were grateful for the generous lover that he was, making sure that you always got yours.

Hips meeting yours, Connie finds his face nestled between the junction of your neck, his soft grunting loud inside your ear.

With Connie pinning your legs to the bed, he rests his full weight on your body, any chance for a break long gone as you cry out for a moment's relief; one Connie won’t give you unless you soak him completely. Arms as limp as your legs, all you can manage is to sink your nails into his chest, taking every forceful thrust he sends your way, the pressure too much to handle. Your poor pussy is puffy and swollen, yet furiously leaking at how good he works your body over. His uneven breathing harsh against your face, Connie litters it in butterfly kisses, proud of the peak you managed to reach.

“Nice one buttercup,” he compliments, rolling off of you to lie flat on his back; jerking himself to the finish line.

You both watch in amusement as Connie shoots his load directly into the air, his hands continuing its ministrations until the task is complete.

“That’s gotta be at least three feet.”

“Maybe, let's get a tape measurer and find out.”

“I need to practice my aim, whaddya say next time you hold your lips nice and wide for me and see if I can make a hole in one?

“You wanna try aiming inside my mouth?”

“Not those lips buttercup.”

Jean - Face. He’s a cocky one, no pun intended. No matter what position he finds himself in during sex, he doesn’t miss the chance to pull out and paint your face; jokingly referring to himself as the next Hokusai on occasion. Jean loves knowing he’s the one doing this to you, a strong sense of power coursing through his veins at the sight of you dripping in his essence.

As dirty as Jean likes to get you, he’s equally as excited to help clean you up; like a one stop shop sorta thing. And so showers have become a common place for you both to do the deed. Most times you find yourselves clean only to get dirty again and while it started off as a way to save the water bill, you’re sure all you’ve done is jack up the price.

Hands pressed against the shower glass, it threatens to slip at your wobbly footing. The only real sense of security is Jeans hands wrapped securely around your waist. The steady rocking of his hips into your ass has your forehead planted against the glass, heavy breathing fogging it almost as much as the steam.

Every so often, he’ll bear down his palm into your back to keep your arch as deep as he likes it. And while it isn't the most comfortable, his lengthy dick keeps you distracted, the delicious burn of the way he repeatedly rams his member into your dripping pussy.

The steam obscures your view, but there's nothing you need to see anyway. The only thing your fucked out mind can manage to focus on is feeling and you do just that; relishing in the way Jeans calloused fingers tug on your damp skin again and again and again.

You can’t help the wails that spill from your lips, crying aloud as your screams echo against the tiled walls. Jean never really gives you a break either, his ego on full display each time the force of hips pulls an even louder noise from your sweet lips.

How your feet haven't given out on you is miraculous, but it’s probably Jean holding you up until your body can milk him dry, his stamina coming to a relieving close. Pussy throbbing against him for the nth time that night, it’s become his personal little shower; your creamy finish dripping down his thick length.

Pulling out of you, Jean spins you around, knees slapping against the wet floors, on autopilot, for his oncoming release. A few pumps of his hands and he shoots his load on your face, careful not to waste a drop.

You don’t mind and lap up whatever drips down to your mouth for added effect, his legs quaking at the sight.

“Keep that up and we’ll never make it out this shower, my love” he cautioned.

But the real intimacy is him helping you wash it off, every time. You aren’t allowed to touch your face and he’ll gladly sit there and towel wash it until you’re fresh and clean - peppering your cheeks in kisses with promises to paint it again.

Onyankopon - An ass man, so he enjoys seeing your silky skin sparkling with him. Ony loves a woman on the thicker side of the spectrum, shit he’s got enough juice to pour. Thighs work just as great and he finds them equally as sexy so it’s anyone's guess where his cum will land next.

The handprints left behind leave a red tint on your ass which makes it a touch more swollen, adding to the already thick asset he’s come to adore. Your thighs quake each time his heavy palm connects to your plush thighs and though your eyes brim over with unshed tears, so does your pussy brim over with never ending slick.

Ony’s calloused digit drags itself inside your warm walls and you repeatedly clench around him in hopes that he’ll drag them in a little further.

“Didn’t I tell you to use your words pretty? Tell me what you want and watch me make it happen,” he assures.

“I want y-you,” you stammered.

Even though Ony is easygoing and super chill, you always found yourself flustered when it came to him. And the bedroom was no exception. Oftentimes you got nervous and stuttered at the simplest command.

Thankfully he doesn’t withhold from you much longer and sinks himself to the hilt with delicious ease. You both pause for a minute, the sensation too much and not enough all at once. His dick jumps at your moist walls as your pussy throbs in an attempt to adjust to his sheer size.

Driving himself inside you, Ony builds a nice rhythm, his hips slapping against yours as he moves to the ripple of your skin. He can’t help himself and his palm rains down on your ass for the seventh time; the thunderous crack loudly echoing throughout the quiet morning.

You whine as the unshed tears spill over into the sheets. Fingernails tightly clutching the fabric, your mouth hangs open and the wails get an octave higher.

Hands delving into your skin, he uses it for support and plunges into you repeatedly; hoping that his body can get you to tell him what his words can’t.

“Right there Ony, ohhhh my, right there please.”

And right there he’d stay, grounding his foot into the mattress for better support to make sure that you found satisfaction and that it’d envelop your heated body in all the ways his busy hands couldn’t.

He won't last long like this. He rarely does when you crawl out of your shell and get so vocal with him. That, coupled with the way your pretty body reacts to his sends Onyankapon over the edge each time.

He feels your body squeeze him tighter, hear your moans grow louder, and watch the sheets get wetter. Knowing that you’ve climaxed allows him to follow suit, pulling out of your warm walls to spray your ass cheeks with his seed. Through gritted teeth and breathy moans, Ony jerks himself to completion, watching with hooded eyes as they trickle down to your thick thighs.

Reiner - On your back, mostly because he LOVES doggy style. He absolutely refuses to cum in you, terrified of the fact that he could become a father. It’s almost like the Pavlov effect, his race to the finish line incomplete if he can’t finish on your back.

Reiner is a beefy guy and while he has no problem displaying his strength in the bedroom, your safety and comfort trumps all. In fact it’s you who has to initiate rough sex with him, agreeing upon a safe word that lets him know when he’s taken things too far. But it’s something about doggy style that lets him get as feral as he wants, all without hurting you in the process. Also, it gives him the perfect view: he can see your breasts slap against the bed with each thrust.

“Squeeze em for me darling and twist each nipple until it gets too much.”

Renier didn’t come second in his overall scout training just because he was good at slicing titans. After all it was his strategic ability, amongst other things, to evaluate a situation for the long run all the while remaining collected. And it's safe to say, those qualities carried over into your sex life with Reiner expertly instructing you to touch and twist your body in the ways he know you love; which no doubt always led to your fireworks moment.

Also, it gives him the perfect view: excitedly watching your pussy swallow him whole. Reiner was never one to explore kinks but he’s definitely discovered a few through you and size just so happens to be at the top of the list. Bodies pressed together, he’s entranced at the junction where you both meet, slowing down ever so slightly to take it all in. Eyes glossed over, he admires the way his dick is covered in your creamy goodness, your pussy molded to accept his impressive size as he pushes past your lips repeatedly - amazed each time he manages to fit the entirety of himself inside of you.

While you relish the sweet sting at the way he pounds away at your cervix, you know crossing your legs in the days to come will become the ultimate challenge.

“Ahhh fuck, you're in this for the long run, you know that right?” he pants. “You ain't going nowhere right? RIGHT?”

R-right Reiner, righ-”

Also, it gives him the perfect view: Reiner swells with pride when your tight asshole gladly accepts his thumb.

The first time he decided to jam his thumb down there wasn’t the most pleasant experience for you. But with lots of prep and planning, it’s come to be another erogenous zone, damn near a spot you can’t come without him using.

Thumb sitting to the hilt, he fiercely thrusts at both ends, his sausage-like fingers providing just enough size to topple you over. Teeth sinking into his lips until they bleed, it’s your release that sets off a chain reaction for Reiner with him pulling out of you to cover your back completely.

Once everything calms down, he usually comes back with a warm towel to clean you up, thanking you with each drag of the cloth for sharing your body with him.

Armin - on your tummy. He’s another one that's deathly afraid of knocking you up, but for completely different reasons; therefore he tends to be the responsible one in regard to protective sex.

Legs intertwined with one another, you both lay on your sides as Armin gently rocks his hips into yours. Hands wrapped tightly around your waist, your fingers dig into his shoulders for support.

Eyes trained on your face, he’s come to know what each contortion means and exactly where he should place his attention next, angling his hips upward to kiss your g-spot just right. Eyebrows drawn together, it’s the crinkling of your nose that lets him know that he’s found it. His glare never leaves you, watching attentively to what your features tell him you’ll need next.

“My flower - that's what you are to me. Something that adds beauty to this gloomy world of ours,” he admits in between thrusts.

Head dipping low, he takes a nipple into his mouth, grazing it ever so gently across his teeth. Moans tumble past your mouth, gibberish not too far behind on just how perceptive Armin is with your body. He raises your thigh higher to get deeper, your hips greedily meeting his as you chase your second high of the night.

“Much like the thorn that protects the rose, harming only those who wish to steal its beauty, I’ll protect you from the sins of the world before I dare let it taint you sweetheart.”

Pulling out, Armin’s fist flies to his lengthy member, squeezing and tugging until your tummy is drenched in the aftermath of how good you made him feel.

So sweet, he’d make your tooth rot. Armin is much the same behind closed doors as he is on the field - his heart on full display of his sleeve. He always makes sure to tell you just how much you mean to him and you eat that shit up every time. His soft voice coupled with the gentle way he handles your body has heat rising to the surface of your skin, unable to meet his eyes.

But that’s okay. He has time and stamina, but most of all patience. And he’ll gladly make love to you until you build up the courage to talk him through his release or beg for a moment's relief; whichever comes first.

Floch - in the ass. It's the place you save for someone really special, no? What better way to show your love to him than to let him fill your ass to the brim. After all it's the sacred hole you entrust to your partner and why are y’all even together if he can’t have you entirely? Prove your loyalty to him and see how he’ll worship your body in return.

Face planted into the pillows and ass hiked high in the air, this position has become a salute of sorts. Much like the pledge Shinzou Wo Sasageyo, so do you promise to devote yourself to Floch.

“It’s a mystical place that only the worthy should be allowed to enter,” he’d tell you. “Allow me the honor of experiencing you whole and see how I reward you in return,” he’d promise.

You weren’t opposed to anal, but it did throw you for a loop the first time Floch suggested it. And while the thought did pique your interest on occasion, it’s Floch who’d convince you to go all in; and your body has been grateful ever since.

Fingers vigorously rubbing against your clit, it helps add to the heated sensation deep in the pit of your belly. Your other hand gently pushes against Flochs stomach but all he does is lock your arm against your lower back as his dick drives into you with rigor.

“What you running for? The next time I find your hands anywhere but knuckle deep in that pussy, it’s gonna be a problem.”

One hand on your arm and the other curled tightly around your hair, Floch hones in on his point with harsh thrusts between each word, his pelvis knocking you off your knees and into the mattress.

Even with his body pressed against yours, you don't make the mistake of stopping your ministrations, fingers intensely rubbing against your swollen nub. The feeling is otherworldly, but it doesn’t stop the pressure from being too much to handle as the build up rises almost uncomfortably.

Your thighs twitch and your eyes water; but it's all a boost to Flochs ego and so he thrusts deeper along your rigid walls, hoping to reach the spot that makes you go dizzy. Him knowing that he could get you to this level of pleasure only encourages him to continue on and that he does; instructing you to do the same.

Your brain eventually goes fuzzy, screaming as you squirt for what feels like a lifetime; drenching Floch and the sheets as soon as your body reaches its peak. Your climax sets Floch off on his own and he loudly groans as he shoots rope after rope of his thick cum into your ass.

Once done, it’s like a veil is lifted and he softens up almost instantly, delicately rubbing on your soft skin and cooing at how well you did for him. After removing himself, he goes into heavy aftercare - cleaning your body down, ice cold water on standby, and if you’re up for it, a few snacks before the eventual nap. He figured it’s the very least he could do after he’d wring out endless pleasure from your taut body.

“You did so good for daddy, sugar. Sleep tight so this gorgeous body can get the rest she needs.”

#Emmy Writes #Emmy Tries #AOT #Attack on Titan #shinjeki no kyojin #snk #eren yeager #levi ackerman #erwin smith #connie springer #jean kirstein #aot onyankopon #reiner braun #armin arlert #floch forster #Black Reader #aot smut #aot x black reader #aot x you

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jediskywalkerblog · 3 months

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some soft, gentle dom ani. he wants to take care of you the most, but you better obey what he says yk 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Ugh! In love with this request🤤✨Thanks for your request @skywalkershootme <33

obey me - anakin skywalker

A/N: this contains a whole lotta smut and a whole lotta fluff. Minors DNI.

Ani kicks your bedroom door open whilst he carries you into the bedroom in his arms, your lips never leaving his. He gently places you down onto the bed. He’s just returned from a mission, he’s been gone for days and god did you miss him.

“Miss me baby?” He asks as he pulls away and skips his shirt off.

“Of course I did ani” you say as he pushes you down onto the bed, leaning over you.

“Missed those beautiful eyes so so much” he whispers as he looks down into your eyes. Before planting a lustfull kiss onto your plump lips.

“I missed yours more” you say as you roll over and climb on top of him. “I missed doing this” you say before planting kisses all down his abs to the hem of his trousers. You look up at him when he grabs your chin…

“I’m leading tonight baby girl” he says as he rolls you back over so that he’s laying on top of you. He begins to take off your top revealing your lace bra “so beautiful baby” he whispers into your ear as he unclasps your bra.

“I need you now ani” you moan as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, sending chills down your spine.

“You can have me baby, as long as you obey me” he says as he pulls down your leggings along with your wet panties.

“Yes ani, I will obey you…” you moan, practically begging for him before he slips his trousers and boxers off revealing his hard, throbbing cock.

“Sure you can take this baby?” He teases as he likes himself up with your dripping entrance.

“Yes ani, fill me up” you whisper into his ear before he slides his cock into your tight walls. You let out a deep moan.

“Fuck baby, so tight for me” he moans into you ear as you adjust to his size.

“Ani, fuck me hard” you moan, desperately.

“Thought I was taking the lead tonight baby?” He asks as he slows down, only making you want him more.

“Yes ani, do whatever you want to me” you scream before he begins to fuck you deep and hard, hitting all the right spots. “Ugh right there ani!” You scream as he hits your g spot repeatedly.

“Does that feel good baby?” He teases before kissing your lips.

“Yes ani, don’t stop! Make me cum” you moan uncontrollably…

No matter how hard he fucks you, he’ll always hold onto your hand as you begin to shake under him from the intensity of your climax.

“Cum for me beautiful” he whispers before placing a kiss on your forehead. Before you can reply your cumming all over his cock whilst shaking uncontrollably from the intensity of your orgasm.

“That’s it baby, my turn now” he moans as his thrusts begin to get more sloppy, but deeper.

“Yes ani, fill me up” you moan as you feel his cock begin to twitch inside of your pussy before releasing his cum.

“Fuck” he moans and he buried his face into your neck… He rolls onto his side of the bed to catch his breathe before pulling you into his warm embrace.

“I love you (Y/N)” he whispers before planting a kiss on your forehead.

“U love you too, my ani” you say as you feel yourself drifting off to sleep…

This was so fun to write! I tried to include smut and fluff at the same time, hope you guys love!! Send any requests you have via the ask button <33

- @jediskywalkerblog 🚀✨🛸

#anakin x reader #hayden christensen #star wars anakin #star wars blog #starwars imagine #starwarsedit #anakin fanfiction #anakin gif #anakin imagine #anakin x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin smut #sw anakin #haydenchristiensenimagines #hayden christensen fluff #hayden christensen x reader #haydenchristensenedit

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katy-l-wood · 2 years

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I can't remember if you are the house person but boy if you haven't seen the cave house in glenwood yet you need to. 217 ROSE BUD IRON MTN when I was a raftguide we'd say it was Bruce Wayne's house. It's for sale and they have photos and a virtual tour

Okay, I was waiting to answer this because I was hoping they'd get the website up, but if they have I can't find it.

Anyways. FUCK YES I LOVE THIS HOUSE! I forget when I first heard about it, but it has always delighted me.

My favorite line in the listing is: "A portion of the cave has been used as a personal dwelling by the owners for the past 4 decades, however sellers make no claims regarding the habitability of the Cave of the Chimes."

That view!

Look at this nonsense. I love it so much. I imagine taking the dog out to pee in the middle of the night might get difficult, though. And I hope you don't have to walk down the stairs on the left there as the only access...bringing home groceries would be an ADVENTURE if so.

You want a bigger fridge? Too bad. Also love that they still have an over-the-sink window that just opens on. Rock.

I have questions about this bedroom/pooltable room combo we've got going on here.

What lives behind the TV? Who knows!

Side thought: I wonder how the hell they have running water in this house.

Okay so. This bedroom is just. Open to the kitchen? So that's a thing. Do appreciate the giant jar of chocolate chips, though.

Then through that doorway at the back there, you're just. In "unfinished" cave:

Which then leads to the pooltable room:

And the bathroom in the pooltable bedroom is just. Open to the whole bedroom. Lotta interesting divisions of space going on here.

Also. This is the only bathroom I have seen so far. I did not see one in the first half of the house.

Now, back to where we made the turn to go to the pooltable room. If you DON'T turn and just go straight, you access the rest of the cave:

And it does have some very pretty formations in it, but...is that tin slide thing involved in the plumbing? I feel like it is involved in the plumbing. Which is. Concerning.

You can go real deep into the cave too. And, note, there's no doors or anything between the house and the rest of the cave.

CAVE HOUSE.

Fun concept. I would live in a cave house. But this one needs work.

#Weird Real Estate #Colorado #Real estate #Cave of the Chimes House #Glenwood Springs

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euaphoric · 11 months

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“i can give you all the exact same things he can, but a million times better.”

## pairing — haechan x f!reader / strangers to lovers ? ft. other nct members!

## warnings — smut, light angst, fluff, drinking/scenes involving alcohol, a whole lotta nasty stuff, approximately 3.3k words. did i base some of the conflict on real life events? possiblyyy.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

per usual, it was another weekend filled with back to back partying and going out. jaemin (your new boytoy for now) invited you out tonight so you pull up to the function wearing your sexiest little black dress, making all the heads turn soon as you walk in the club. even jaemin’s friends were eyeing you, they were all pretty hot too which didn’t make the situation any easier. it was your first time meeting all of them properly, you only really spoke to them through quick interactions between you coming and going out of jaemin’s room. they all knew you had a thing going on so they did their best to try and respect that.

“hey, you must be y/n right? i’m taeyong, i don’t think we’ve formally introduced ourselves. it’s nice finally talking to you!” a blonde man comes up to you, reaching his hand out for you to take. you happily accept and shook his hand, “yes, it’s so nice meeting you too!” all of the guys seemed really friendly, especially mark, he can get pretty handsy when there’s a bit of alcohol in his system. “oh so this is the girl i’ve been hearing all about?” mark stumbles his way over to you, already feeling drunk off a couple shots. “nice to meet ya, i’m mark!” you try and go for a handshake like you did previously with taeyong but that wasn’t his style. “pfftt, don’t try that with me, we hug around here!” he pulls you into a giant bear hug, almost embracing you like a longtime friend he’s known for years. you gave him a questionable look, wondering what kinds of things jaemin says about you to his friends. hopefully it was nothing too detailed or invasive, in which that case you’d be heated if he spilled all the tea about your sex lives.

“care to elaborate on what you heard about me…?” you ask skeptically, wondering if it’s something actually worth your time. “i mean.. nah, i probably shouldn’t— it’s like against bro code to disclose top secret info like that!” he recants, not wanting to be the main source of why you might get angry with jaemin. sigh, as much as you wanted to keep prying mark with more questions your vision gets blocked by jaemin who quite literally comes out of nowhere with another shot. “mark hyung i think that’s enough chitchatting for now, just keep drinking and dancing!” he proceeds to hand mark the glass filled with mystery liquid, mark gulped it down instantly and even asked for another. this was definitely gonna be a night full of catastrophic fun. well hopefully. you didn’t drink much so it felt nice being one of the only semi-sober people of the bunch, the club was pretty packed but you were on the upstairs level and near the outdoor patio which had a gorgeous view of the skyline. the DJ tonight was pretty decent too, he played most songs you knew and liked which was rare nowadays. you didn’t need lots of alcohol to let loose and have fun so you make your way to the dance floor with jaemin but not even 5 mins later he runs into a familiar face. “jaemin is that really you?!” a brunette woman comes up to him with the cheesiest smile on her face. “no way, giselle? long time no see!” he hugs her but that hug seems to be lasting way longer than it should.

it’s almost as if you completely didn’t exist anymore to jaemin. he told you he’d be “right back” but it’s been a good 15-20 minutes and he’s still over at the bar with giselle. he could’ve at least tried to hide the fact that he was flirtatious but he wasn’t even subtle when his eyes were glued to her massive rack the whole time she spoke. you know you aren’t dating this man but the disrespect of him to do that so blatantly in front of your face was crazy to you. he’s crossed the big no-no line for you and it’s only fair you give him a taste of his own medicine. you scan the room to look for a hot guy that would make the perfect candidate, settling your eyes on a very, ridiculously handsome man standing a few meters away from you. he seemed to be alone, his facial expression looking almost bored. you never thought white pants looked good on anyone, but on him? he was exquisite. he gave off 90’s skater vibes and looks like type that listens to cigarettes after sex. it intrigued you why such a good looking guy was here out by himself, just didn’t seem right.

you confidently walk up to him, tapping his shoulder to strike up a conversation. the blaring music would drown out your soft voice easily so you get closer to his ear, “hey, i’m just gonna put it out there right now, i think you’re hot and wanna dance with you!” you were bold for sure tonight. the man looks caught by surprise but doesn’t seem opposed by your advance. he whispers back in your ear “the feelings mutual, i’d love to!” within seconds, an array of ring clad fingers wrap around your waist to bring you to the center of the dance floor. you knew you had the full package but weren’t expecting to get this far so quickly, your backside was facing his front, swaying your hips to the beat of the music. a slow r&b song comes on so he rests his chin on your shoulder, “you look amazing in this dress might i add.” the unnamed man says in a raspy tone. “this definitely feels like fate ‘cause i’ve been eyeing you since i came in here.” you met this guy not even half an hour ago and you’re already ready to drop to your knees for him. “i didn’t try anything since i saw you with a guy earlier, that wasn’t your boyfriend right?” you laugh, scoffing at the idea of you ever dating jaemin. you’ll probably never want to see him again after this stunt he pulled. “no, not at all! he’s just some guy i was seeing, but he’s old news now!” “ah, i see. so then i’m allowed to claim you for the rest of the night?” “i’m all yours for the taking.”

the dance floor became a fuzzy obscure entity around you as your bodies collided. the way he danced so gracefully yet so sensual, his hands traveled down your body, admiring your curvy figure. it felt like a steamy movie scene where two hot strangers try and solve the thick tension between them. but your moment would soon be ruined by the constant vibrating of your phone. you tried ignoring it but it wouldn’t stop so you take it out your crossbody purse and look to see who’s been blowing it up. of course, the person who’s been trying to contact you was none other than jaemin. “sorry, s’cuse me i gotta look at this for a sec!” you break away momentarily to check the texts.

5 new notifications from- jaemin (sneaky link 💦)

[1:00 am]: wow..

[1:03 am]: i leave and come back for only a couple mins just to see you with other guys?? you should feel shameful

[1:04 am]: can’t believe you’d do me like that fr

[1:10 am]: funny cause i was starting to have genuine feelings for you too but i guess you girls are all just the same so idc it’s your loss 🤷🏻‍♂️

[1:18 am]: wtv

the audacity of this man was astonishing. you cannot believe him of all people is actually getting mad at you for doing this. you know you’ll probably regret this tomorrow but you tell him off, it’s only right since he wants to pull the victim card now.

[1:25 am]: don’t make me laugh jae, you’re so self entitled that you can’t even see what YOU did wrong. i’m not going to explain myself and idgaf what you think of me after this, i’m thru with your sorry ass anyways. go have fun with your new bae giselle since you wanna mooch it up with her all night which was way more than “a couple mins” btw… you practically threw yourself at her like the manwhore you are and left me to fend for myself! you are the only one who should feel shameful here not me. so kindly go fuck yourself and have a nice day :)

it felt good to let it all out after sending that, you gave zero fucks at this point. you put your phone on do not disturb, put it back in your purse and bring your attention back to the man with groovy dance moves. “why don’t we get out of here?” your ask sounds more like a demand as you pull his arm away to leave the floor, making your way through the sea of people. you reach outside and you were finally able to talk normally, not having to scream over the music in order to understand each other. “my cars parked in that lot over there, we can go back to my place if you want.” he proposes, waiting for you to give him the approval.

usually you aren’t this lenient with just hooking with someone from the club but this guy was on another level, you had to see what he’s all about. “sure, but before i get into the car with a complete stranger, can we at least know our names? i’m y/n.” you finally introduce yourself properly. “yeah that would make sense, my name’s haechan. it’s an honor to have you accompany me tonight!” he brings your hand up to his lips, pressing a wet kiss to it. even the most minimal touch leaves you starstruck by him.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

once you got to haechan’s place, it started off with some wholesome fun. just talking and getting to know more about each other, haechan asked about jaemin again to make sure you were okay but you shrug it off saying you were fine. “trust me haechan, i’m not shedding a single tear over him so no need to keep asking. i’ll be fine, he was just someone i used as a booty call to be honest.” he nods to your response, “good, now i won’t feel like an asshole for saying what i was thinking.” “what were you thinking?” you wonder, raising your brow. “that i can give you all the exact same things he can, but a million times better.” his voice was laced with seduction as he spoke, “i don’t even mean to sound cocky but i’ll make it my personal goal to be the most memorable fuck you’ve ever had.” he presses his chest up against yours, “i’ll make sure you’ll never think about another man but me after i’m through with you princess.”

you nervously gulp, feeling yourself grow wetter by the minute. you’ve never had a man talk to you in such a way that could make you this easily aroused. “that’s a pretty bold claim you said there, you think you’ll be able to live up to it?” you tease, hoping he won’t take it too seriously. “oh i don’t think, i know. it’s 100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back love— which will never happen.” he chuckles, snaking his hand to cup your chin and bringing it close to his lips. he stayed like that for what seemed like forever, staring at your petal lips, lightly squishing your cheeks together to turn them into a pout.

“so pretty…” he coos, inching closer to your lips now. he presents you with a deep kiss, sensing the raw passion through him as his hands tease the inners of your thighs. you get a fistful of his messy hair while sinking further down into the memory foam mattress, bringing him with you. he nibbles at your lower lip for entry and you immediately let him slide his tongue in, deliciously exploring each other, making you purr as he tastes the sweetness of you. you softly moan into the kiss, grinding your hips below him, bucking up pathetically to feel some action down there.

“god you’re so fuckin’ hot,” he groans, after breaking away from the kiss. “i’m gonna fuck you ‘til it’s morning baby.” that sounded more like a threat than a promise. “you gonna rail me so hard that i scream and call you daddy all night?” you playfully remark, something ignited in him once you called him that, the desire for you only becoming more irrational. “oh my beloved, you have no idea.” his breaths were heavy against your skin, pressing kisses to your jawline then trailing down to your neck to gently suck. he found a hypersensitive area to make you gasp, sending goosebumps all over your body. you feel a hand on your breast, cupping it tenderly whilst littering your neck with pretty purple and red hickeys. your legs squirm underneath from him rubbing your nipple through your dress, feeling it stiffen as he pinched and flicked at them. you were so horny for him at this point, your panties were a soaked up mess. you continued bucking into him for any bit of stimulation, whining to feel something. it’s been a while since you’ve been needy like this for a man… “if you want something darling just ask.” he props his head up to give you a shit eating smirk, wanting to hear you talk just as dirty as he was. “gimme cock, please! i’m so painfully wet right now i can’t take it anymore.. just need you to fill me up” you weakly surrender. drool peaked out from the corner of your mouth and haechan noticed so he licks it up, “that’s what i’ve been planning to do for hours sweetheart.”

haechan gives you a couple more small, fleeting kisses while lifting your dress up, caressing your plump thighs, running his index finger from your inner thigh to your damp clothed clit. “goddamn you weren’t lying, you’re crazy wet.” you blush at how embarrassingly wet he’s made you for someone you haven’t even known a full 24 hours yet. “i’m just gonna prep you bit with my fingers m’kay babe?” he pushes your panties to the side, sliding his digits along your folds to gather your slick. he entered two fingers in you while circling and stimulating your clit with his thumb, your moans echoed throughout the room just for him. he curls them inside you and your walls cinch around needily, arching your back and moaning with pleasure.

you were seemingly going to come undone just from haechan fingering you, all the wetness dripping onto his wrist only making him want you to cream on his fingers more. your legs feel unstable and you twitch as you feel yourself cumming for the first time of the night, your liquids pour out into his digits, coating them with the creamiest mess. your mouth is locked open as you reach your high, another harsh swipe to your clit was the last string that pulled you. feeling breathless at this point, he gave a twisted smile before taking his fingers out and placing them in your mouth to suck one by one, tasting your lovely essence. he rushed to take off his clothes; quickly removing his pants and boxers to reveal his freshly trimmed, hardened cock. your eyes widen at his length, he’s much bigger than you thought, you were figuring out how he’d be able to fit it all inside. he’ll make it fit one way or another.

there will be many more orgasms to come as the night progresses, you’ve lost count at this point as the duvet is now soaked with your juices. he was pounding you into the ground with his cock, producing hefty back shots to your ass while his hands rest on both sides of your waist. he hasn’t gotten tired of fucking your tight pussy since he’s started. “who’s pussy does this belong to?” he pants, hitting your walls precisely, “it’s all mine right? my cock’s better than jaemin’s right??” he growls, already showing his possessive side within just a few hours. a loud slap to your ass comes with full force, barely giving you any time to react. “r-right!! all yours, this pussy belongs to only you haechan!” you internally struggled to speak, feeling faint off of how many times he’s made you cum. you scream and yelp from pleasure that his dick is the best and how good he’s making you feel. he’s fucked your overstimulated cunt so many times but you still subconsciously tighten around him as he draws out and pumps back in. as soon as he’s close to cumming he finishes on your back, spreading his white seed onto you like the filthy cockwhore you were for him.

he had you like putty in his hands, arching into his touch as he digs his nails into your plush hips. you squirt like it was nothing with him, but with jaemin you could never do that. you couldn’t let this just be a one night stand, you have to get this guy’s number before you leave to do the walk of shame in the morning. speaking of morning; you can see a faint sliver of light through the curtains and you realize now that haechan kept his word from earlier. you never kept track of time though, only thing on your mind is hyuck’s cock filling you up repeatedly. his pace would get sloppier as he’s close to his ten thousandth orgasm, hearing a loud guttural groan escape his mouth. he pulls out again but this time he turns you over while manhandling you, pinning your arms to each side while he cums all on your folds, watching it slowly leak down your swollen pussy. he drags his fingers to your cunt to spread your lips open, biting his lip at the sight — he made such a beautiful mess.

with your clit already being overstimulated and sensitive, he flicks his tongue back to it while tightly holding onto your thigh. your whole body trembles as you cry out to him, pulling his hair as he brings you to tears. you don’t know how you’re still breathing right now, waves of ecstasy washing your brain from constant stimulus, you were in utopia and heaven combined. you weren’t sure how much more you’ll be able to endure, “haechan! haechan!” you’d scream at the top of your lungs, body growing weaker and weaker. he was tearing down every part of you like his life depends on it. he forms saliva with his mouth and spits on your already dripping, throbbing cunt; he’ll never get tired of doing this. “i make you feel the best don’t i?” he grunts, slapping your pussy “no one makes you feel as good as i do right baby girl?” “yes…” you whimper from the twinge of pain. eyes roll to the back of your head, that devilish gaze he had could snatch your soul in an instant.

he was completely right when he said no one’s ever made you feel this good, he was most definitely going to be the most memorable lay you’ve had in your life. jaemin didn’t even come close to haechan. you feel crazy for wanting to stay with him and ask him how he likes his eggs in the morning, his cock rewired your whole brain to think only of him, to be of service to his every want and need. he drove you truly, madly, deeply insane. “looks like the suns fully rising now,” he says looking over at the acute sunlight emitting from the window “my work here is done.” “can i just stay like this for a while? i can’t feel my legs..” you croak, unable to even build minimum strength to prop your head up. “of course you can” he murmurs, “i would never kick you out like that. i was gonna ask if you wanted to sleep here and cuddle, hm?” pressing slow, lazy kisses to your shaky thighs, tracing patterns into them. he was a force to be reckoned with earlier but has now turned into a ray of sunshine right after. “yes please, i’d love that. hold me in your arms forever and ever.”

#nct #nct smut #haechan smut #haechan x reader #haechan fanfic #nct x reader #haechan x f reader #nct x female reader #nct hard hours #lee donghyuck smut #lee donghyuk x reader

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luvrrgirl444 · 7 months

Text

chapter 14: genius

“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.

“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”

VERSE 1

i’m still a fan even though i was salty

hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy

hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving

“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.

PRE-CHROUS

i’m so mature, i’m so mature

i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men

i don’t want none, i just want you

if i can’t have you, no one should

i might

“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”

CHORUS

i might kill my ex, not the best idea

his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?

i might kill my ex, i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

“i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”

you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.

“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.

comments

erenjaeger: whole lotta yip whole lotta yap

⤷ y/nsinterlude: BITCH

y/nsbby: ALBUM COMING SOON? HOW SOON IS SOON GIRL??

⤷ y/nsinterlude: im doing good wbu

valentinagomez: TE AMO MI AMOR 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

⤷ y/nsinterlude: TE AMO HERMOSA 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

user2000: i love u ur so real ❤️❤️

⤷ y/nsinterlude: im the realest i love u too 🤍

conswife: stop talking shit about connie omfg

shyshiloh: i just died 😵😵

⤷ y/nsinterlude: i’ll revive u bae

user182: not u still in love with that sick man..

⤷ y/nsinterlude: I DIDNT SAY THAT SHIT

jkirstein: professional yapper

⤷ y/nsinterlude: i’m beating your ass

user555: dont let c***** see that video..

🦋 !

- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str

#aot smau #connie springer #eren jaeger #aot fanfiction #aot x black reader #attack on titan #fake tweets #shingeki no kyojin #x black reader #jean kirstein #anime smau #genius #musician au #luvrrgirl444

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fragilecapric0rnn · 1 year

Text

[series now cross-posted to ao3! stay tuned for more! ] Have been watching a lot FRIENDS lately bc its one of my and my gf's comfort shows and, of course, i cannot stop thinking about Stranger Things-ifying the hell out of it. the vision came to me SO CLEARLY [PART 2]

Sitting around the coffee shop that is basically a second home to the gang.

Nancy sits on the chair across from Argyle, one leg tucked under her, legal pad balancing on the arm, a pen being held between her pointer and middle finger, tapping incessantly on the pad. The other hand tucked into a fist and holding up her chin.

Argyle sits with his legs draped over the arm of the oversized chair, flipping through the latest Steven King book, one arm perched behind his head.

Jonathan has the NYT crossword in his lap, Robin peering over his shoulder, making him nervous.

A normal Saturday afternoon routine for the group of twentysomethings. The rain from outside softly hits the windows nearby, complimenting the soft chatter and gentle clanking of dishes.

But Robin can only seem to focus on Nancy's damn tapping.

"Nance?"

"Hm?"

"I'm gonna need you to stop tapping. I'm trying to beat Jonathan's puzzle."

"Just take it," he hands the paper over to her, annoyed.

"No! It's more fun when it feels like I'm beating you."

Jonathan looks over at Nancy, who is staring blankly at the wooden support beam a few feet away.

"What's going on Nance?"

"Nothing." Her pitch high, grabbing the rest of the groups attention, so much so that they all inch closer to her chair.

"Sounds like a whole lotta nothing," Argyle pulls a nearby chair up next to hers flipping it around and resting his forearms on the back of it.

Robin sits on the ground next to her and Jonathan takes a seat on the coffee table right in front of her.

"Fine!" She takes a look over her shoulder, toward the front door. "I have a date."

"Why are we whispering?" Argyle asks, also whispering.

"Because you know who could walk in any second."

"Why are we whispering and speaking in codes?" Jonathan asks, still whispering.

And as an act of divine timing, the front door to the coffee shop opens, and they all turn their heads to see a slightly damp Eddie shake his hair out and shed his leather jacket in one fell swoop. His face fixed in the same frown that's plagued his face for the last two weeks.

"Hey," the group says in unison, not moving a muscle from where they're still crowded around Nancy.

"What did I say about that tone," Eddie whines, flopping himself down on the couch that previously held Jon and Robin.

"How're you doing?" Robin asks, shifting her body, still sitting on the floor, toward him.

"All of her stuff is gone which means that all of my stuff is gone."

No one says a thing. Not even when the sound of a ceramic coffee cup shatters somewhere in the distance.

"Eddie?"

"What?"

"I don't mean to sound insensitive dude, but shouldn't you be a little less depressed considering... " Argyle trails off.

"Considering what?"

"Considering you're the one that left her?" Robin finishes the thought that everyone is having.

"I didn't leave her." He scoffs.

"No, but when you tell your long-term girlfriend about recently discovering that you're gay, one might see that as you being the one to end that relationship."

"We've been over this." He balls up his jacket and shoves his face into the wet leather. The group share a look, Nancy gesturing to Eddie's state as if to say this is why I'm not talking about the date.

He chucks the balled up jacket at Jonathan, who kicks his feet out in surprise as he catches it with his chest. Eddie's hands are now on either side of his face.

"The love was there! I could've loved her if..."

"If she was someone else?"

He deflates, lets his arms slump down and his shoulders do the same.

"Eddie, my friend, my pal, listen up." Argyle moves seats for the third time, now squeezing himself into the space between Eddie and the arm rest on the couch, draping his arm over his shoulders.

"You have just entered a whole new world, my man. So, you're gay? We're in New York City, so is everyone! Welcome home! All that love you were ready to give to Michelle? You get to hold onto that and give it to someone else. Someone who makes your heart sing."

"But I knew her just as long as I knew you guys." He whines, again, gesturing to Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. "It was easy. It was safe. How am I ever gonna find romance with someone? Where we have an established - I don't know - thing! A connection! A history! How?"

Eddie stares at them like he expects them to answer, forcing the rest of the group to share glances, let the air settle with Eddie's words.

The front door flies open just as a roaring thunder booms overhead, making for a dramatic entrance.

Robin's the first one to swivel her head toward the ruckus, the only one who has a perfect view of the person who burst into the shop.

A man dressed in a tux, drenched, like, just hopped out of a swimming pool drenched. Fighting with his bow tie with one hand and running his other hand through the unforgettable head of hair that sends Robin right back to Hawkins, Indiana. Back to the summer before her senior year.

Huh?

Unable to move a muscle in her body, she watches him clumsily go up to the counter and ask for her and Nancy, by name. The sound of her name sends her up to her feet and pushes her toward the man. An air of chaos surrounds him, drawing an offense amount of curiosity out of Robin as she finds her words.

"Steve Harrington?"

He turns around, his face lights up, and he does the weirdest thing.

He hugs her.

She remains stiff as he pulls back from the hug, hands still on either side of her arms.

They were buddies that summer scooping ice cream at the mall. Nothing crazy, or maybe even that memorable, but they started the summer as acquaintances at best and left as friends.

But then he left for college and she stayed and they never spoke again. A few run-ins here and there. But nothing substantial.

"I knew I'd find you here, I remembered that the last time I was in the city I ran into you guys and you're here!" He sounds drunk, but also like he drank a vat of espresso.

Clearly, it was substantial enough for him to come looking for her. Dressed in a tux soaking wet?

"And you're here, overdressed." She says, taking him in, unable to unscrew the confused look from her face.

Is that a boutonnières?

Oh no. Oh fuck.

"Steve?" Jonathan and Nancy say in unison as Robin brings him over to the couch.

Robin thinks Eddie might have summoned the ghost of hopeless high school crushes past, the way Eddie looks like he's just seen a ghost.

#FRIENDS au #sorry for the typos!#did like no editing. seriously just typed and posted.#i tweaked the characters a bit so it wouldn't be an obvious 1-1 AU but Steve is obvs Rachel and Eddie is obvs Ross #idk if this will become anything more but!!! maybe???#this was just supposed to be a writing sprint #i swear i meant to only write vibes #it somehow turned into this????#sen writes #stranger things fic #my fic #steddie ficlet #ronance as chandler and monica slow burn endgame also bounces around my brain as i finish these tags #argyle is clearly phoebe To Me

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immajustvibehere · 9 months

Note

Would you be willing to do more low honor arthur? I don’t really have any specific idea in mind, whatever you want to create! I love your writing! <3

A Deal Worth Taking

I feel like there is a lot lh!Arthur x fem!reader smut out there, but I wanted to go for a fun little interaction. Because you can't convince me that Arthur wouldn't still be a soft boi for his s/o while being mean to everyone else >:)

700 words, less than 10 minutes reading time

Arthur waited outside of the saloon; you were still inside, finishing your drink. Arthur had left in advance for some peace and quiet and was now smoking his cigarette in solitude behind the saloon. It was then that a man approached you. He clearly had had something to drink, but his words didn't slur yet, when he asked you how much you cost per night. You smiled kindly and told him to follow you outside, where prices can be discussed.

Exiting through the back door, with the gentleman following eagerly, you exchanged a glance with Arthur. No words were needed, Arthur had already figured out the situation at hand. It wasn't the first time you were approached like that, and Arthur found great pleasure in finding inventive solutions of getting off those men. To him, firmly establishing and claiming you as his was always gave him pleasure.

So, the three of you stood in the dark back alley.

"You want her?", Arthur asked and stubbed out his cigarette on the wall.

"You owe her or something?", the man looked Arthur sceptically up and down, only unwillingly peeling his gaze from you.

"I do. I got a whole lotta girls working for me, she's the best I've got though,” Arthur put his hands on his belt.

The man checked you out again.

"How much?"

"Six dollars, but you get her the whole night."

The guy winced at the mention of the price: "That's a bit high, don't you think? I mean...she's my type and all..."

"Whole night...", Arthur repeated with a twinkle in his eye, "She'll even spoon ya and be there in the mornin’ to bring you some coffee, if yer into that. Domestic bliss with no responsibilities." Arthur stressed the last sentence with his southern drawl that made your lips curl into a smile.

"Fine", the man clicked his tongue and shot you some glances while fished out the money, "You better be worth it."

However, as he raised his gaze to hand the money to Arthur, he made blinked in shock, when a gun was pointed directly at him. You saw the wheels turn in his head as Arthur, nonchalantly, accepted the money with his free hand.

"Thank you kindly. Now, get lost, partner", Arthur asserted.

The guy opened his mouth to protest, but found his words caught in his throat as Arthur deftly cocked his gun. Off he went, a sullen expression on his disappointed face.

"You had me for a second, to be honest with you", you smiled at Arthur, who gave you half the money he had just taken from the man.

"I did?", Arthur chuckled warmly and put his gun back into his holster, "Yer worth way more than six dollars, that's for sure."

Arthur kissed you a suggestively, his big hand finding the small of your back. The little scheme had seemingly turned him on, especially now that he had you alone in this alley.

"Mh, still, you get me for free," you grinned and allowed Arthur to pick you up and put you on a nearby barrel. Your eyes aligned now, sharing the same level, and Arthur caged you in with his big arms.

"For free? Hell, I gotta stand all yer talkin' and bickerin'", Arthur complained. But as he looked at you and saw your offended expression, he realized that he might have struck a nerve. Your exaggerated pout may have seemed theatrical, but your eyes and furrowed eyebrows betrayed a genuine displeasure.

"I never bicker. And if you want me to shut up, you can just say so", you replied earnestly.

"I know,” Arthur replied, he placed a tender kiss on your forehead, before nestling his head against your shoulder, inhaling your familiar scent. "I'm sorry. I'm jus' talking silly, darling,” he murmured, a hint of remorse in his voice.

Your hand wandered to his hair, and your fingers navigated through the rugged strands. It was a gesture meant to soothe him, but it also bore a subtle implication. Arthur was particularly receptive to such affections, and you heard a stifled groan.

"But I'll gladly get you coffee in the morning."

"Mhh, yer the best. I don't deserve ya," Arthur grinned against the crook of your neck before kissing it.

"How bout we get ourselves a room?"

"I'd love that".

#arthur morgan x reader #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan #red dead redemption community #rdr2 #arthur morgan x female reader #rdr2 fanfiction #rdr fanfiction #rdr #lh!Arthur Morgan x reader #low honor arthur morgan #low honor Arthur morgan x reader #low honor ARthur morgan x fem!reader

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suddenly-stickmin · 1 month

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Dawg your art is like so mad delicious, those screenshot edits and lil piece in the art trade? MWUAH! Chefs kiss, 100/10 I'd slurp your art up a straw like Jell-O ngl man. I'd do an art trade if I wasn't so dang low on energy or braincells, dab me up if you ever do tho it'd be nice to draw again. I'm planning on getting my motivation back OUGH. Srry if your inbox is like overflooded man.

Also I will CHERISH THAT APRIL FOOLS ART YOU DID IT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME I FUCKIN EXPLODED WHEN I SAW IT. I ASCENDED.

AWRHG THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN you always drop in and give such nice asks I always appreciate them n reread them a bunch I must let you know....

I'd for sure be down for an art trade! Whenever you're feelin' the art vibes again and you're ready, we can go for it! [Ain't no rush though, take all the time ya need!]

And I'm happy you like that April Fools gift too! It was a whole lotta fun to edit Brutus in.

Speaking of Brutus, here's another little drawing I did of him enjoying some breakfast :]

#thsc #the henry stickmin collection #thsc oc #art #ask!#thank you very much again!! i do have a couple more asks you've sent in the past still in my inbox #and even though i havent responded to them yet [ouhguguhgu im so sorry about that sob sob] i wanna say i really do appreciate em #and your hype!#the screenshot edits are always a whole lotta fun to do

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owladaptive · 7 months

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Headcanons of your latest art, plz

The cool and funny thing about the addams au is that ducks don't need to change their core personalities in the slightest in order to fit. They're all just kinda Like That already.

They're just Like That already!!

They already get up to wacky, dangerous shenanigans. And other people not in the family look at it and go "that's a whole lotta weird". Individually, none of them are exactly normal.

All you really need to do to addamsify them is to take the most out of the ordinary aspects of each of their personalities and dial the notch up about..... 60 degrees.

Below are ramblings about their characters. Enjoy.

Scrooge is of course the patriarch of the family, an adventure capitalist and the richest duck in the world who loves dancing with danger. He's basically the most unchanged out of them all. But this Scrooge is... twisted. He covets the thrill of almost dying with the same fervor he covets gold. And he proudly, nay lovingly, exposes his kids to anything that brings them near the glory of death with reverence. The "other bin" is a personal museum of deadly monsters, fatal curses and dead things that he proudly lets his beloved family (and hapless guests) admire at their leisure. And he's always delighted to teach his kids anything they want to know. How to swordfight? Of course m'dear child, anything you ask. Here's the correct way you load gunpowder into a musket. Here's a fun way to give your wind-up clock bomb a little extra oomph. Want a turn in the iron maiden?

Bentina was a whole different kind of spy. I mean she was an assassin. In fact she was hired to string up Scrooge when they first met, instead he bought her off and had her dispose of her original contractor. They became friends of course, Scrooge admiring her line of work and Beakley begrudgingly respecting the sheer outrageousness of his admiration. And since coming back to his house to raise Webby (his family-oriented nature wore her cold exterior down over time until she caught the love bug) she vibes as his pseudo-sister once more.

Yeah Duckworth is still a ghost. He's been there since he died in his sleep and the whole family got together to drag his fading soul from the river styx and shove him back into the physical plain. (They worship the escape of death, that doesn't mean they want to be separated!) He doesn't say much. They love him still.

Webby is literally the same character. Only of course, her already-warped perspective on life after growing up in the shadow of Scrooge McDuck is warped all the more. To Webby, fighting, grappling, shooting arrows, firing (real) guns and stalking your friends through the shadows of night to scare the light from their eyes for a second isn't just super fun.... it's affection!! She's a creature of the night. She'll give her family so many hugs. She'll watch her loved ones while they sleep. She'll strangle them until they pass out (affectionate), she'll protect them from anything. She's everything the rest of the world is just ken.

Della is presumed dead, and nobody is particularly mad about it. This is a family that walks closely with death, after all, so while their love for each other is so strong that even a decade after she was gone they still mourn her, they would never cut her memory from their lives. Her portraits hang everywhere, her room kept immaculately covered in dust and cobwebs just the way she'd want it to be. They bring her up in conversations as though she'd just gone out to buy milk or something. And every single year, on the anniversary of her death, they hold a seance to attempt to summon her back (They already tried the thing they did with Duckworth). It never works, and Scrooge and Donald hug and cry and reminisce together and then life goes back to normal.

Donald is a faithful, doting and affectionate dad to his nephews and has told them stories of their mother since they were hatched. He loved his sister so very much, but unlike canon never blamed Scrooge for her death. Yes, she likely died in space, her spacesuit smashed open and her body freeze dried in the soul-sucking endless darkness all because Scrooge lovingly gifted her something that would put her life at risk. But she's only dead!! Nothing to estrange yourself from your family over. Donald and Scrooge are instead brought closer through shared loss. Donald in this universe is still a sailor, and is entranced by the glory of the deathly, stormy seas and all the creepy, slimy creatures within it. His anger is surprisingly mostly tamed by way of catharsis (fishing and killing the fish and cooking the fish with far too much axe chopping and knife brandishing than needed). That doesn't mean he won't lose it if someone insults his kids, his uncle or his dead sister.

Huey is a sweet, smart, helpful boy with a penchant for biting that's followed him since he first grew teeth and a rage-filled alter ego that's switched on a hair-thin trigger. When he's not flying into a mad frenzy like a gremlin ("you've got such a healthy temper dear boy, make sure to sharpen your teeth before bed now!") he's deconstructing anything he can get his hands on and building them back better and more explosive. Don't be alarmed by his muzzle - his brothers sometimes force it on him when they get tired of his biting (it makes for an unfair fight) and sometimes they kindly ask if he wants them to put it on for him when they notice he's being a little nonverbal or cranky. He loves them a lot and gives them lots of hugs.

Dewey is a melodramatic little weirdo who recites poetry and Shakespeare, adores making a spectacle of himself and hates being one of a set of three. Quite like his canon self! Unlike his canon self, he copes with feelings of resentment and middle child syndrome by way of bloodlust. It's all in good fun, of course. What child doesn't try to smother their siblings in their sleep now and then? Why, back when Scrooge was a lad, his sisters once dangled him in the path of a speeding train while he was sleeping! When his murderous urges take a backseat and he gives the booby traps a rest, Dewey's a fun-loving kid who would go to much more extreme measures to get take vicious revenge on anyone who would make any three of his siblings cry. His dream is to die suffocating in a vacuum like his mother did.

Louie, having grown up in the mansion instead of a houseboat, is no stranger to the wonders of luxury. Luckily for him, the Scrooge of this universe is wrapped around the collective pinky finger of his wee ones, and is much more doting than canon. Also luckily for Louie is that McDuck manor is built on an expansive graveyard where he can look for jewellery, trinkets and gold fillings to his greedy heart's content. When he runs out of graves at the mansion (he always buries them back, don't worry) there are always other graveyards in town. And other towns, too. And true, Louie's been dragged back home by the police every now and then, so he's had to get sneaky about his thrifting ways. He can pickpocket like a pro, filching off anybody who isn't Scrooge (who would always notice) and snatching any shiny thing that isn't nailed down and can fit in his pocket when he's out of the house. He's sneaky alright, but also sensitive. Don't touch his stuff or he'll stab you. "did the little dragon add anything to his hoard today?"

#addams au #ducktales #answer #dt17 #scrooge mcduck #dewey duck #huey duck #louie duck #webby vanderquack #bentina beakley #della duck

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mirrorshards · 10 months

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Do you have any good kyman fan fiction to recommend 👀??

I've said it before but i'm not a big reader.. that being said, I did read all of @basu-shokikita's works and I always repeatedly recommend anything she writes-- but I'll be more specific

Vice Versa - kyle and cartman switch bodies

Friday I'm in Love - reality TV episode about the ship kyman and everyone they're involved with (it's written in a show format and it's hilarious)

You and I - kyle finds himself in a drag show he was not prepared for (incredibly touching, there's a playlist too! I drew for this one too)

It could be wrong, could be wrong (but it should've been right) - this one is more main creek in a timeloop with unavoidable kyman and it's SO GOOD (for me this is one of basu's legendary fics btw). basu's ability to just nail characters' dynamics and the overall feel of the show is just fantastic and so fun to read.

that's true to all of these, it's especially why I love her fics where she throws in some more characters cuz it makes it so much funnier..

now the rest of the fics i'm gonna mention are NSFW so this is the only warning you're gonna get

The Weight - college age kyman+stenny simultaneously sort of. I love this one sososo much, it's the base for a lot of headcanons I have for them too

Whole Lotta Woman - kyman accidentally hook up and it's sexy

Breathe Me In - the nsfw and very needed continuation for You and I

Two is a company, Three is a crowd - another of the legendary basu fics, established relationship kyman with a side dish of cartman's super messy relationship with butters

You can let yourself go - another legendary one, technically a continuation of two is a company, and it brought to life dancer butters which is something I never knew I needed until this (also kyman+butters mess)

#the basu tag #asks #kyman

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nanabansama · 5 months

Note

who was talking to nene in chapter 101? The one who asked her what she thought would happen with the play because of the accident. Do we know what they were talking about yet? I thought it was tsukasa because he appears randomly in 102, but looking at the hand I'm not sure.

The hand was also drawn feminine and did not look at all like how AidaIro draws any of the boy's hands. Honestly it looked like nene's hand.

Oooh, this is a fun time to bring this up again! Your comment about the hand looking like Nene's made me think of doppelgangers. Like what happened in the recent After-school Hanako-kun chapter.

Veeery interesting... And as you say, the hand that taps Nene's shoulder is feminine. When compared to Nene's, it's not all that far off, either...

I have no doubt that the apparition here takes on the form of a girl! But even though I just brought this up myself, I have my doubts about them taking Nene's form... there just isn't much to support this idea, y'know? Nene has pretty generic girly hands. And I personally don't think the new After-School is anything more than a bit of fun. I think AidaIro wouldn't want to ruin the surprise of there being a whole other Nene in a little spin-off chapter, do you?

Some kind of Evil Yashiro would be so fun to see though!! So I wouldn't complain. ♡

Out of curiosity, I also decided to poke around the internet for some urban legends told in schools (school mysteries) and I couldn't find anything that quite matched the encounter Nene had. There were mysterious hands with no visible owner, sure, but tales involving those seem to have them coming out of swimming pools or toilets and grabbing people. But maybe I just overlooked one, who knows!

Anyway, I have no idea who they were or what they were talking about. (∀｀*ゞ) Sorry....

They're clearly talking about the play, though! It's just that what they're saying is so vague, it could mean anything. Basically, what this whole interaction is supposed to do is give us and Nene apprehension about the school play. The word "accident" just sends shivers down your spine, doesn't it!? Makes you wonder what accident happened prior, and how it concerns us in the present day...

But how does this apparition know, and when did this other accident occur? It's hard to say, but considering we haven't seen the play put on in 1968 yet, I have my suspicions it happened in that one. Not only was it also a performance of The Wizard of Oz, but our favorite local troublemaker Tsukasa Yugi had a hand in its production.

Curious, right? That Tsukasa helped prepare the play, but is content to just wait here with Amane? This isn't just Tsukasa being attached to Amane either, mind you... Amane didn't help. Amane cut class. When Tsukasa was helping his class prepare, he did not cut class with him. Maybe it doesn't mean anything, and Tsukasa was just having fun doing arts and crafts and what-not, but there's decent reason to believe that Tsukasa could have sabotaged the play somehow.

Remember, Tsukasa during this period in time has already been proven to have destructive tendencies. He wanted to destroy the Big Clock.

It's not completely out of the question!

This all still doesn't answer who the hand is, of course, but perhaps if the accident the hand is talking about is related to the 1968 production, then the hand has some relation to Tsukasa...? A former classmate, perhaps? Or maybe it's just some nobody ghost that lurked around the Closed Auditorium. Hard to say.

Anyway, that was a whole lotta talking to basically say nothing, huh? But I hope this helped get your brain juices flowing! And I really hope this apparition comes back, too. We desperately need more female characters in the cast, especially after the tragedy of Sumire-chan... (RIP...)

#asks #tbhk #jshk

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byuteablanc · 1 month

Text

One Human and a Whole Lotta Bones! | Skeleharem x Gender Neutral Reader

—

Heya! I hope you enjoy! Please go to the bottom of this post to find the beginning or a different chapter than this one!

Also, if you prefer to read on AO3, click this link!

Happy reading <3

—

Chapter Three: Condiments

“What is with you guys and condiments?” You asked, raising a brow.

You were in the kitchen for a moment, intending to make a pit stop to get some water. You had homework to do. That was until you saw Sans, having already opened the fridge. You asked him to pass you a bottle of water, and he did. What you did not expect was how he also pulled out a brand new family sized bottle of ketchup and started sipping it like you would whiskey on the rocks.

Sans furrowed his brows in questioning, closing the fridge doors. “what do you mean?”

Fortunately for you, all your roommates that drunk condiments were in the same space before you came down. You’ve wanted to ask them this since you got here, and you figured that now was the perfect time.

“You guys drink them, like from the bottle. Do you not think that’s odd?” You wore a skeptical expression on your face. Maybe you were just ignorant because you’re a human, and condiments are considered both alcoholic and just okay drinks, and not add-ons to a meal.

“no not really.” Stretch piped up, taking a swig of his “special honey” as he called it.

“you gotta understand guys, humans ain’t fun. they only use condiments on food, they never drink it.” Red uttered, sounding as if not drinking condiments wasn’t a weird thing to do.

“Red, humans are practical, we’ve been over this,” you eyed him tiredly, “Plus, condiments are so thick in consistency and taste, or in Russ’ case, the opposite!” Russ opened his mouth, agape and offended. “Why would you wanna drink that?”

‘it tastes great. it’s just something you ________, y/n.” Russ signed, you only half understanding what he said.

Your knowledge of sign was limited to a high school grad requirement class, and another graduation requirement class in your freshman year of undergrad. You had been practicing so you could properly communicate with Russ, but you were still not fully fluent.

Russ saw your confused expression and wrote out what he said to you on his notepad he always carries. The face on his shirt also turned to a look of slight annoyance, you didn’t know how that worked.

“it tastes great. it’s just something you need to experience, y/n” was written rather elegantly on the pad. Russ had surprisingly wonderful penmanship.

“Ahh that’s what you meant!” You acknowledged, resigned. “Well I suppose I could understand the affection for ketchup, as it does have a pretty decent taste. But other than that, I can’t understand the others very much.”

Sans seemed get giddy from your agreement, giving him an ego boost. Your other roommates on the other hand, were not happy with this conclusion you’ve drawn.

“you… can’t understand the others that much, huh?” Red eyed you with frustration, you suddenly regretted your words.

“Well! I mean, everyone has their own opinions! You don’t have to listen to me and mine,” You muttered nervously. Sans put his hand on your shoulder reassuringly, only because he was the one you complimented. “no need to apologize for revealing the truth, y/n. they’re finally ketchup with reality.” He smirked.

There was a semi-playful tension throughout the room.

“that’s it! were gonna settle this right here and now ya’ blue bastard!”

Oh boy…

“i challenge you to a condiment debate!” red pointed to you. “you’re the decider and mediator!” he was now speaking to the room. “whoever convinces y/n that they drink the superior condiment wins! who’s with me?”

Everyone except you and Sans raise their hands.

You gulped. “Guys, can’t someone else mediate and decide? Like Papyrus or Edge?”

“they have made their stance on our condiment drinking very clear before, they would think it’s disgusting automatically. there’s no convincing them.” Stretch shrugged, looking to the distance in melodramatic remembrance.

Red eyed you like a predator would to their pray. “and you y/n, you’re malleable, a new addition, easy ta’ convince.” he had his bones hands in position, as if he was about to lurch at you.

You were looking around for areas of escape in case you had to run.

‘don’t scare them red…’ was written on the notepad, with Russ shooting Red a deadpanned expression.

“yeah, plus they already made their decision guys. i know the truth is a hard pill to swallow, but you can always help it go down using those inferior condiments you call delicacies.” Sans smirked.

He was just adding fuel to the fire. You turned to eye him, as he was not helping. He could only chuckle as the room fell deathly silent.

“den. now.” Red uttered, staring at Sans with fury so hot that it rivaled the sun.

You took a mental note to never ever say anything about condiments again.

—

The den, now set up to accommodate four whole lecterns (which they somehow just had on hand?? these skeletons continued to confuse you) and the sofa, which you sat acutely in the middle of, facing them. The lecterns were arranged in a slight half-circle, both ends not completely turned into each other. From where you sat, Sans was on the far left, Red was on the left, Stretch was on the right, and Russ was on the far right. There was a coffee table also, which usually had ornate decoration, now terribly barren for reason untold to you. You wondered if they had these condiment debates before.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE??” Edge inquired, entering the room. “IS IT ONE OF THOSE STUPID CONDIMENT DEBATES AGAIN?”

“You guys have these often?” You furrowed your brows, a smile creeping up to your face. This was too stupid not to.

Edge turned to you. “YES, AND THEY’RE ALWAYS IDIOTIC. WORD OF ADVICE HUMAN, NEVER TALK ABOUT CONDIMENTS.” He has his pointer phalange up matter-of-factly, as if he were talking to a child.

“I appreciate the tip..!” You thanked him, as if you hadn’t already figured that out.

He had a noticeable swell of pride apparent on his face before it quickly went away.

You noticed that with Red and Edge that they seemed to really like positive reinforcement, gratitude, and affection. Even simple “thank you”s and “I appreciate that”s could make them crack a genuine smile.

“bro, you should stay and watch me destroy the competition!” Red requested, fire in his eyes.

Edge thought it over, and you could’ve sworn he took a glance at you in the process. “FINE, I WILL. ONLY BECAUSE I’M FEELING GENEROUS! NYAHHAHAHAHAHAH.” And with that, he came over to sit down on the couch.

“alright, is everyone ready to debate?” Red asked his fellow condiment drinkers. They nodded in response.

There was a pause in the room.

“icalldibstogofirst,” Sans uttered quickly, much to the dismay his competitors.

“as you all know very well,” he scans the room as if he’s in front of a large audience, “condiments are an important thing, something apart of our lives everyday.”

He gets off his podium and starts pacing from the left side to the right side of the room. “what do people think of when they hear condiments? i can tell you they don’t think of mustard, or honey, and certainly not whipped cream. isn’t that last one a dessert anyways?” his competitors were unamused.

He continued to go one about the validity of whipped cream even being a condiment, which you eventually tuned out. You found it funny that this was the only time you ever saw Sans be in any way serious about anything, and he was (mostly) joking.

You also took the time to turn your eyes at Edge, who was actually very entertained by the subject. He seemed genuinely interested.

“but what i’m truing to say is,” sans piped up, probably noticing your lack of attention. “ketchup is infamous with the most recognizable, sweet taste. it never fails to captivate all those who taste it’s delicacy. i rest my case.” he said finally, returning to his lectern in satisfaction.

*Well that was uninteresting, yet also informative?* You thought, hand on your chin in perplexity. Sans made deciding easy, so far you were not sold on ketchup being the winner of the day. Sans just talked himself into a hole in your opinion, focusing less on the condiment he’s arguing for but attacking the others.

“OH ARE WE SERIOUSLY HAVING ANOTHER CONDIMENT DEBATE? WHO BROUGHT UP CONDIMENTS?” Blue groaned, rolling his eyelights.

“IT WAS THE HUMAN’S FAULT.” Edge crossed his arms, selling you out.

You mouth was agape in disbelief, how were you supposed to know this would be the result of an innocent, albeit judgy, question? You just wanted some water…

“WELL LET THIS BE A LESSON Y/N,” he paused.

“NEVER ASK ABOUT CONDIMENTS.” Blue and Edge say in unison, compounding in your condiment based embarrassment.

“Will do!” You replied, blushing.

“you gonna stay bro?” Stretch asked his brother, “it’s fine if you don’t want to.”

“EHHH, I GUESS I COULD! I MISSED THE LAST ONE ANYWAYS.” He shrugged, sitting in the middle of you and Edge. He crossed his legs and arms, leaning back, seeming only a little interested.

Red piped up, excited. “anyways, it’s my turn! y/n, may i ask ya’ a question?”

You cocked your brow in anticipation. “What’s the question?”

“what do humans usually eat hot cats with?” he steps off his lectern and begins to walk around, similar to his competitor before.

Smoothing over the fact that he said hot cats and not hot dogs, you answer, “Mustard, why?”

“that’s what i need to be asking you! ya’ see, y/n…” He looked to the ground. This was starting to feel like a soap opera. “mustard brings out an interesting combination of tang and salt to titillate the tongue in a way that no other condiment can—“

“SANS, DON’T BE SO CRUDE!”

“bro, i’m not! just.. hear me out, alright!” He sighed, a tinge of red on his cheeks. “as i was saying y/n, mustard contributes a flavor that no other condiment can. and, it’s versatile! with it already being so potent in flavor, you can conserve more of it, which saves you a lot of g— or, uh, dollars in this case!” he smirked.

That was something you cared about! It was literally the entire reason why you’re even here.

“unlike other condiments, which you have to drown your food in for it to actually take effect. aHEm whipped cream aHEm.”

Poor Russ was taking all the shots today.

“but, i digress. mustard is the best condiment, i rest my case your honor.”

“Your Honor”? This wasn’t a court—

“This Isn’t A Court, Red. Besides, I Would Be The Judge.” Cinnabar smirked, crossing his arms and entering the room. “And Y/n, You Poor Soul, Did You Ask About Condiments?” He looked sorry for you, already knowing the answer.

“Is it that obvious?” You shrugged, chuckling nervously with a crooked smile.

“Honestly, It’s My Fault. I Should’ve Told You! But, Alas, It’s Too Late Now.”

“ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP MONOLOGUING LIKE SOME FREELANCE THESPIAN OR ARE YOU GOING TO GO AWAY?” Edge frowned, annoyed with the lack of debate.

“I’m Actually Going To Stay, Thank You Very Much.” He walked over to you and sat down, very close to you. Like legs-almost-touching close. You slid away from him just a little to keep some of your personal space in tact.

“so uhh, everyone ready?” Stretch asked, hand on his boney cheek.

There was no protest, so he started his argument.

“honey is the best, why? it’s sweet.” Stretch began, lacking emphasis. He was lacking the drama that this event was accustomed to.

“GO GET EM BROTHER!” Blue called out in support, yelling as if his brother wasn’t a few feet away.

Stretch smiled, emboldened by his brother’s obnoxious support. “it’s also made by bees, which means who ever enjoys it gets to taste a piece of nature’s natural beauty.” he put up his pointer phalange matter-of-factly. “also, it goes with a lot of desserts which is a largely underrated sector of foods, mind you. it may be subtle in it’s flavor sometimes, but it’s there to be added as a general.. trampoline of sorts. it makes the original flavor of a dessert or tea or anything enhanced.”

He got off his lectern and walked to you, “y/n, could you taste this for me?” Stretch offered you the bottle.

“Uhhh, sure!” You shrugged, taking a sip, not thinking much of it.

Cinnabar seemed uncomfortable with this. “Stretch, Were You… Were You Drinking Out Of That?” He looked disgusted.

“yeah why?” Stretch asked, nonchalant. You had finished your sip, encapsulated by the taste that you weren’t paying attention. You decided to take another sip, which no one noticed.

“I Mean Well, Do You Not Care For Hygiene?” He looked perplexed, maybe even a little agitated. “I Mean, Y/n’s Germs And Yours Are Just Mingling Around Now… In Their Mouth…” His eye lights went out, his body language became extremely tight as his hands grip got tighter and tighter.

The room was awkward, which you didn’t even notice as you were now chugging away.

“…what do you—?”

“HELLO FRIENDS! AHH, YET ANOTHER CONDIMENT DEBATE I SEE?” Papyrus announced himself.

“hey bro.” Sans smiled.

“yeah, hey papyrus but cinnabar what were you—?”

“PAPY! Y/N DRANK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE!” Blue pointed to you, turning everyone’s attention.

You burped. “Excuse me! I’m sorry Stretch, I kinda got stuck in a bit of a daze there. It’s really good!” You handed back the empty bottle.

“GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY Y/N!!” Papyrus exclaimed, his mouth agape.

“seriously doll, was it that good?” red asked, bitter.

You could only blush more.

“well that proved my point pretty well, thanks y/n.” Stretch winked at you, walking back to his lectern.

You didn’t think you were going to pick Stretch as the winner either. Though his honey was god, it was addicting! That’s not good at all! A condiment doesn’t make you feel a rush, or at least it’s not supposed to.

Suddenly, the room was filled with the sound of cart wheels that need to be oiled. Russ, being the perpetrator, brought out a dark green chalkboard and a yard stick with a hand on the end. At the top of the chalkboard, the words “The History of Whipped Cream” was wrote out in elegant cursive.

Russ began to explain how whipped cream came to be, and with that, its value in the league of condiments. He was honestly going really fast with his writing so it was hard to follow. You looked around to see if anyone else was struggling, but everyone else seemed completely enraptured, even his competitors.

With a bow, serving as the end of his speech, clapping erupted throughout the room. Some of your roommates were brought to tears by how moving his demonstration was, your roommates never failed to leave you guessing.

Thinking about Red’s display, you felt like he addressed a lot of good points. But in your experience, giving him an ego boost when it came to his condiment wasn’t something you wanted to do. And with Russ, you hardly understood what he was trying to convey because he was writing and then erasing so fast!

“so y/n, you’re basically the judge so, who do you think wins?” Sans inquired.

Suddenly all eight pairs of eyes were on you, you blushed in reaction. You took a deep breath, stood up and took your stance.

“I think you all lost.”

“What!?” They all react in unison.

“You guys, your condiments are clearly special to each of you for your own reasons. It makes no sense to “declare which person likes the better condiment”, when they’re all winners!”

Sans groaned, “aw c’mon y/n, you have to have some sort of opinion that isn’t based in equality huh?”

“NO! Y/N IS RIGHT!” Blue agreed.

“THIS WHOLE DEBATE THING IS NONSENSICAL AND UNPRODUCTIVE!” Papyrus added, rolling his “r” in “unproductive”.

“Also, If Your Condiment Brings You Happiness, Then Why Argue Who Has The Better One? It’s Better To Just Agree To Disagree And Move On.” Cinnabar shrugged.

Edge scanned the room. “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES WHEN THEY DEBATE ABOUT THIS?”

“Yes.” You, Blue, Papyrus, and Cinnabar said in unison. Edge sunk into the couch in defeat.

‘Then how will we know which one is better?’ Was suddenly written on the board by Russ.

“We don’t! We all like our own things and don’t care about which one is better in the grand scheme!” You confounded, very sure of yourself.

…

“well that’s boring.” Red concluded, rolling his eyelights.

—

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#writing stuff #undertale au #undertale #underswap sans #underfell #underswap #underswap papyrus #underfell sans #underfell papyrus #x reader #my loves #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral reader #fellswap gold papyrus #fellswap gold #fellswap gold sans #OH&WLB #fanfiction

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