#i diagnose all of us with fatherlessness | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blancheludis · 5 years

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A/N: @iron-man-bingo square: Hanahaki Disease

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers Relationship: Tony Stark / Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes Words: 8.332 Tags: Unrequited Love, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sick Tony, Angst, Happy Ending

Summary: A whole bouquet worth of flowers ends up on their bed the night of the wedding, the colours almost sombre. “Well,” Steve says and stops unbuttoning his shirt, “I guess we married for nothing.”

- Tony is dying from unrequited love for Captain America, who is first a dead hero and then a very alive one just as disinterested in Tony as Howard had always promised.

---

A whole bouquet worth of flowers ends up on their bed the night of the wedding, the colours almost sombre.

“Well,” Steve says and stops unbuttoning his shirt, “I guess we married for nothing.”

He leaves the room, careful not to touch any of the petals, not looking back when Tony’s breathing becomes laboured.

There is nothing he could do anyway. Love cannot be forced, not even for a dying man.

---

Tony is a special case. Once he is old enough to realize that, it does not even surprise him anymore. Starks are always held to a different standard.

His mother takes him to a doctor when he develops breathing problems at just five years old. The inhaler does not help but being away from Howard does.

He is eight the first time he coughs up a flower. It is the day he finally begins believing his father when he says that someone as brilliant as Captain America could never love someone as pathetic as Tony.

Tony knows what is happening, but he is not yet cynical enough to laugh about it. Instead, he locks himself into his room and cries, cradling the perfect blue forget-me-not.

People have always been saying he is special. He just did not think that would mean he would die from unrequited love for a dead man.

---

Tony turns ten and physicians call him a miracle. He turns twelve and fifteen and eighteen, and people call him an abomination.

His lungs do not get progressively worse. Some days he can barely breathe, choking up flowers of every colour. Some days his throat barely scratches.

Once he moves out of the mansion, Tony almost feels like a normal boy, not meant to wither before he has managed to grow roots. It is the little things that throw him back; nightmares or anniversaries or articles about World War II. Sometimes the American flag is enough to steal the air from his lungs.

He does not make sense. His chest is growing ever tighter, but he fights it. He gives up just as often but this disease has never been about what he wants.

Tony has always been Death’s favoured child. It is life that does not seem to know what to do with him.

---

The day they find Captain America in the ice, the air has never tasted sweeter. Tony feels like soaring, only marginally worrying about the crash. His heart beats strongly, pushing enough oxygen through his veins that he has the energy to smile, to hope.

The next morning, he reads an article in the newspaper, showing a picture of Howard and the Captain shaking hands. Howard is staring directly at the camera. His smile is happy enough, but his eyes seem to look at Tony alone, holding the familiar disdain.

This is not for you, he seems to say, and while Tony’s brain fights that thought, his lungs feel already on the verge of collapsing.

If only Tony could have gotten there before Howard. If only he could have managed to make his own first impression. Howard likes to say that Tony ruins everything he touches. This time, it seems, he will not even be allowed to touch.

Well, he is equally good at ruining himself. And it would be a shame for all that practice to go to waste.

---

“That is one hell of a favour, Howard.”

Tony does not mean to eavesdrop, but Captain America is in their house, and the physical need to catch a glimpse or at least to hear his voice is overwhelming. He has been wheezing all evening, unable to get enough air into his lungs. He is so used to the lack of oxygen that it is the easiest thing in the world to hold his breath as he lingers outside his father’s office.

“I know, and I wouldn’t ask if –” That is Howard. Tony would know his voice anywhere, if not this tone. It holds the usual annoyance it does when it comes to discussing Tony, but it is also so much gentler than Tony has ever heard it.

“He’s your son, I know.” Captain America sighs. Nothing good has ever come of people reminding Howard that he is related to Tony.

“It’s more of a hero worship thing anyway,” Howard scoffs, as if it is nothing. “This has been going on forever. But it’s getting worse lately.”

Captain America hums, and Tony wishes he could see his face, just to know how bad the contempt is. “Since you found me.”

Tony thinks of finding out that Captain America has been found alongside the rest of the public, although his father must have known. He thinks of all the mornings spent wheezing and clawing at his chest, and that he cannot get to the second floor of the mansion without taking a break halfway up.

It is getting worse, indeed. Even now, he feels his insides congealing and spreading roots locking his diaphragm in place.

“He is the reason I never stopped looking,” Howard says, revealing the only reason he suffered Tony’s antics at all. “It meant you couldn’t be dead, yes?”

A long moment of silence follows, in which Tony wants nothing more than to sneak forward and catch a glance. He does not know exactly what favour Howard is asking for, but it cannot be good, it never is when it involves Tony.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Captain America finally says but sounds like a man sent to his execution.

It is funny, how Tony’s lungs react to that as if someone has reached out to strangle him. All his sneaking around will not save him if he gets into a coughing fit right now, so Tony turns around to hurry back to his room, both satisfied to have at least heard the man he somehow loves, but utterly dejected that everything is already in ruins.

“Don’t force anything,” Howard says right before Tony is out of earshot. “He’s an entitled brat, he’ll have to get over it.”

He has tried so very hard. That has only ever made everything worse.

Steve does come to see him the next day, his face hard and his shoulders tense. It is obvious he is only here as a favour for Howard, and as much as Tony is thrilled to actually meet Captain America, he does not like pity. He might be dying, but he is not a charity case.

It is no surprise then that he ruins his own chances, whatever little there had been.

The first thing he tells Steve is, “My, those World War II posters did not exaggerate your shoulders-to-waist ratio.”

That just speeds up their never coming together.

Death is what they make their money with. They put weapons into people’s hands and they complain about the way the earth gets stained red. There is always a bigger stick to be had, though, and they have a knack for building that.

Tony is not afraid of dying. Death has always been a part of his life. He is afraid of dying alone, although that is what he has always known. Mostly, he is afraid of waiting for it.

It has been almost a decade since he has couched up his first petal, and he has long since given up on collecting them. He could have filled his room ten times over with that collection of tangible grief.

He has once laid out Captain America’s shield, life-sized and blood-specked. At the sight of it, he could not help but laugh. Long enough and hard enough that he could almost convince himself he was choking on laughter instead of love.

---

Half a year into their ill-advised marriage, Howard does Tony the favour of getting himself killed. There is some poetic justice to the fact that Tony outlives him after all, despite having been declared all but dead by Howard the moment he was diagnosed.

This way, he can stand next to his father’s grave and enjoy the way the air flows freely into his lungs. Tony has not contributed a single petal to the dozens of bouquets brought in Howard’s honour.

Less satisfying is the actual grief on Steve’s face, who is at the very front of the men volunteering to carry Howard’s body to its last resting place. That red-eyed expression holds more love than Steve ever showed for Tony. He can only imagine how different his own funeral will be.

It does not matter. He has outrun fate for so long already, he does not mind it coming ever closer anymore. For now, life has become so much sweeter.

“You really are heartless,” Steve hisses to him later, when the guests are gone and Tony is ready to fall into bed for the rewarding sleep of the fatherless.

“If I didn’t have a heart, I’d have so many less problems,” Tony replies lightly, looking his husband up and down to make it clear what he means. “So I’m all for getting rid of it.”

For a moment, Steve looks ready to help him with that. And he could. Those hands would be able to pry Tony’s ribcage open. He is already turning the inside of his chest into a wasteland. It is all just taking too long.

“You disgust me,” Steve says, facing him square-shouldered and unmoveable.

“I know.” That has been obvious from the very beginning.

With a shrug, Tony turns away. He has more important things to do. He now has one father-shaped problem less. At the same time, however, he gains a new one: the Winter Soldier.

He is sure that is going to blow up in his face.

---

“I found your friend,” Tony blurts out one night.

He is on his way down to the workshop and has not seen Steve in over a week. Tony makes it easy to avoid each other, which is in both their interest.

“What?” Steve grunts, not happy with being stopped in the hallway. Living together is only bearable when they pretend there is no one else in the house. “Who?”

Immediately, Tony curses himself. This is not something he actually wants to get into with Steve. It is not exactly his secret to keep, but things are easier when they do not talk.

“Barnes?” he asks more than tells. “Well, he’s calling himself the Asset these days. You know, the guy who tried to kill you?”

Steve is on him without warning, cutting off Tony’s babbling with an angry arm against Tony’s throat. “What did you do?”

Tony barely even flinches. This is the closes he has been to Steve since the wedding ceremony. He hates himself for it, but it feels good, like coming home, even with Steve’s anger pushing all the air out of his lungs.

“Careful with the throat, husband,” Tony says. Sometimes it seems like sarcasm is the only weapon he has left against the world, and even that is quickly fading, since his voice is giving out. “Didn’t anyone tell you I have breathing problems even without you threatening to beat me up?”

“I’m not in the mood for jokes,” Steve snarls, coming even closer.

“Funny, neither am I.” Black spots appear in Tony’s vision, but he has fought past that before. He goes limp in Steve’s hold, signals defeat, because he is going to end up being beaten down anyway. If not by Steve, then by his own body betraying him. “Barnes is in a secure facility. He was wounded. And I��m vetting psychiatrists to help him.”

This is obviously not what Steve expected him to say. In his surprise, he backs up a bit, enough to release the pressure on Tony’s windpipe. Breathing does not get any easier.

“Why would you do that?” Steve asks, staring down at Tony as if he is the reason for everything bad in his life.

Tony smirks. He knows that look and latches onto it with all he has. It is better than that wounded expression in Steve’s eyes, that fragile hope that has never been for Tony. Never will be either.

“Because, in my all-encompassing love for you,” he shows his teeth, mocking himself, “I can’t stand the thought of you withering away once I’m dead, so I thought I’d give you your best friend back.”

That is enough to destroy whatever goodwill Steve might have momentarily had for Tony, for he leans down, hand hovering threateningly over Tony’s throat again.

“If you’ve harmed a single hair on his head –”

Tony has heard so many variants of what comes after the pregnant pause that he chokes out a laugh. He is unbelievably glad when no petals come up with it.

“My, you don’t sound grateful,” Tony says with fake cheer. His voice is too high to pretend that he is not half-suffocating.

“Where is he?” Steve asks, his breath warm on Tony’s skin. It flows so freely, making Tony stare in wonder.

“I’ll send you the coordinates,” he promises quietly. As much as Tony yearns for Steve’s presence, being this close to him is unbearable. “Pack something warm, honey.”

---

In the early days after being diagnosed, Tony was interested in the science of all this. How can he be dying from something inevitable? A dead man cannot love him back. It does not make sense.

And yet.

He should be dead ten times over by now. Unwanted, unloved, never good enough.

And yet.

He wants to be dead, too. Dead people do not need to breathe. He has practiced that for most of his life already.

And yet.

---

For a ghost, Barnes looks good. He has long washed off any visible traces of having been in HYDRA’s care. His hair is cut, his clothes are neat, his arm is repaired. The terror still sits deep in his eyes, but time will deal with that.

“Who’re you?” Barnes asks when Tony strolls into the room.

He sounds curious more than defensive, and Tony revels in the anonymity.

“Tony,” he says shortly, waiting for recognition that never comes. Perhaps Steve has not told his best friend about his pathetic excuse of a husband. “I helped working on BARF.”

That is the simplest explanation he can give without saying that he pulled Barnes away from HYDRA and then stayed up day and night to create something that could deal with both their nightmares, imagined and real.

“So you’re here to collect some data?” Barnes shifts uncomfortably but makes no move to stop Tony when he sits down on the couch, a good few feet away.

“No.” Tony shrugs. The data he needs is not something he can measure. It has more to do with how much Steve loves this man, enough to be almost civil to Tony, even though he can usually not stand to even look at him. “I can see that it worked. I wanted to ask if you need anything.”

Barnes’ face darkens. Somehow, Tony has managed to upset him within moments of meeting him. That truly is a specialty of his.

“People are asking me that all day.”

Tony shrugs, pretending that it does not become hard to breathe already. “Must be because you look so lost all the time.” He knows a bit about that, but he is not here to bond with Barnes, even if that were possible. Steve would never forgive him.

“Do you –”

Three things happen simultaneously. Barnes’ face grows soft and guarded at the same time. Tony’s windpipe fills up with dread and flowers. Then steps grow loud and Steve comes into view, his expression pinched and ready to start shouting.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asks, sidling up to Barnes, ready to jump in front of him.

What do they think? That Tony would go to all this trouble only to harm Barnes right in front of Steve? People say he is petty, but all Tony has ever been trying to do is to survive. Hurting others on purpose has never helped with that.

“Hello to you too, darling,” Tony greets with burning sweetness. “I was just having a chat with our guest.”

He leans back in his seat, making it look like insolence instead of a means to hide his trembling muscles. Steve’s hate is always making him so weak.

“How about you stay away from him?” Steve snarls. Tony would not be surprised if Steve reached out to throw him bodily out of the room.

Ironically, it is Barnes who saves him. He reaches up to lay his hand on Steve’s arm. That touch works like a miracle. “Steve, what is going on?”

When they look at each other, Tony barely recognizes Steve. He has never seen his face so open, vulnerable, loving. If he would look at Tony like that even one time, Tony is sure he would be cured. At the very least, he would die a happy man.

“Stark has a habit of ruining everything he touches,” Steve explains in a dismissive tone, reducing Tony to nothing more than his failures – not that there is much more to show anyway.

Barnes frowns and glances at Tony briefly. “I heard he found me and brought me back.”

That sounds close enough to someone standing up for Tony that he misses his chance to speak up.

“And I’m still trying to find out why,” Steve says, ruining whatever first impression Tony might have made with Barnes.

Tony’s anger is a living thing, much like the grief growing in his lungs. He does not attempt to hold it back when it roars.

“Is that how you won the war?” Tony asks, voice cutting. “By suspecting everyone is the enemy and simply punching anything that moved?” Sometimes all the derision he has for himself can be channelled against whoever is in his way. It does not help making him feel better, but he does not need any more scars either.

Getting to his feet in as smooth a motion as he manages with how weak his legs are, Tony adds, “I don’t mean Barnes any harm. Otherwise I would have hardly gone to all this effort.”

It is simple logic, but Steve is naturally immune to that. “You’re desperate,” he spits out, almost causing Tony to laugh.

Desperation is for those who still have hopes to be stripped away from them.

“Why? Because I’m dying?” Tony questions gently. He is not quite sure how he remains steady on his feet while being numb all over. “I’ve known that for over two decades. I’m just waiting for my lungs to hurry up and give out.” Oh, how long he has waited.

Turning, Tony fixes his eyes on the door. He will leave. He does not know where he will go, but it does not matter. There is no such thing as a right place to die in.

“Who are you?” Barnes’ voice stops him just before he can escape the scene.

“Tony Stark. Sorry for omitting the last name.” Just about everyone would be happier if he had a different one. If he were a different person or simply no one at all.

Barnes clears his throat, clearly aware of the minefield he is navigating. “I mean, who are you to each other?”

Steve opens his mouth, but Tony cannot bear to listen to him.

“Captain Spangles and I? Nothing,” he hurries to say. “We’re married, but Howard did that most likely so Steve could inherit.” Tony straightens. He has always met his fate with his head unbowed. “Smile. Once I’m gone the two of you will be dizzyingly rich.”

Sooner rather than later now. Then again, Tony has been hoping so for years.

Once he is in the privacy of his own room, Tony coughs up enough flowers to drown himself in them. He buries his face in them, smells their sweetness, and wishes he could disappear.

---

For all that they can go weeks without seeing each other, Steve on a warpath always finds Tony. There is no hiding from Steve’s temper. It is almost as if they are connected after all, pulled together but only when emotions are running high.

Tony has his own alarm system, though, and for once he does not mean JARVIS. A whole minute before the door to his study is thrown open, Tony’s throat constricts and he knows he will not get any more work done this evening.

The knee-jerk reaction of Tony’s body to Steve’s presence is immediate and terrifying. As soon as Steve fills out the doorway, Tony’s spine straightens and he leans forward, as if one inch less of physical distance will actually bring them closer together. Tony’s head might be yelling at him to call it quits, to leave and try to save of himself what he can, but his life has not actually been dictated by his head for a very long time.

Even with fury filling his eyes, Steve looks glorious. Lately, Tony has been looking more again, because Steve’s qualities are only enhanced with Barnes there to balance them out. The more often he shows himself, the more time he spends coughing up his lungs piece by piece. He used to be better at secluding himself, but something about Steve and Barnes together makes it impossible to stay away.

“What are you even still doing here?” Steve spats after glaring at Tony for long seconds.

Tony wonders what prompted this – and, a bitter voice in his head adds, whether Steve means what he is still doing here in the house or why he is still alive. Tony only has an answer to one of these questions.

“This is still my home, darling. I’m not yet dead,” Tony answers. He would be proud of how calm his voice is, if it were not due to the sudden dryness of his mouth, courtesy of the mounting pressure inside his chest.

Steve takes a step forward but then thinks better of it, as if Tony is contagious, and remains hovering in front of the only exit of the room. “You have other houses.”

Tony’s lips pull up into something that wants to be a smirk, but he is too exhausted for it. “And I like the view from this one.”

He likes the view inside it much more, but he does not say that. The fastest way to stop his lungs from cooperating at all, is to make Steve even angrier at him. Funny, how that works.

“We don’t want you here,” Steve argues stubbornly, as if want has ever made anything right. Tony is the walking definition of want gone awry.

“First off, you should stop talking for Barnes as if he doesn’t have a voice of his own. HYDRA did that long enough,” Tony says, although defending Barnes should not be at the top of his priorities. He knows what it is like to not be able to make decisions for himself. “And second, you agreed to living with me in the marriage contract you made with Howard. That means here, in one house. Deal with it.”

Right in front of him, Steve becomes livid. His hands curl into fists that Tony imagines he can already feel sinking into his flesh. It might be nice to feel some pain that does not generate from the disease growing inside his chest, to blame his misery on something not of his own making for once.

“Stay away from Bucky,” Steve orders, the words coming out flat and threatening.

“Perhaps you should tell your buddy to stay away from me,” Tony says, somehow managing to make his tone mocking, despite being almost out of air. “I’m hardly in running shape.”

“I mean it,” Steve says darkly, taking that step forward now as if he needs to loom over Tony to prove his superiority. “Leave us alone.”

Tony smiles, feels the skin stretching over his bones. “Patience is a virtue, Captain, and it’s not going to be that much longer.”

Without missing a beat, Steve says, “You’ve been promising that for a while now.”

Tony cannot help but flinch. As much as he has been waiting for release for years now, it hits much harder to hear the man he somehow loves wish him dead. “Get out.”

“You have to –”

The pressure inside Tony’s chest becomes unbearable, but he does not want to break down in front of Steve, does not want to cough out the proof of his unmet desire for Steve to see. Eyes watering, he bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. The taste is familiar enough to ground him a bit.

“Get. Out,” he snarls. Maybe it is the ferocity in his choked voice or the blood staining his lips, but Steve turns around and leaves.

He does not have the courtesy to close the door behind him, allowing everyone passing by a perfect view of Tony dissolving into a wheezing bundle of pain.

Death should definitely hurry up, Tony decides as he lies on the floor of his study, a sea of petals around him, because this life is not one he cares to have anymore.

---

Barnes has been sitting in Tony’s workshop for hours now. Allowing him in might not be the best idea Tony ever had – his ears are already ringing from simply imagining Steve’s shouting about it – but there was no way he could turn Barnes away when he came down here, shoulders slumped and exhaustion radiating off him in waves.

Tony can immerse himself in his work easily enough to ignore someone else’s presence, but that it is Barnes of all people is just as unnerving as the fact that his throat is already scratching with the threat of coughing, even though Steve is nowhere in sight.

“You built my arm, yes?” Barnes asks after what could have been hours of simply watching in wonder – or judgement. Tony is not sure which.

Tony nods and wipes sweat from his forehead, using the motion to rub at his sternum, willing the building pressure away. “Your old one was shit.”

“That’s not –” A frown flickers over Barnes’ face. “Why?”

This is a loaded question, and Tony is not getting into that with Barnes. “Building is about the only thing I’m good at. So why wouldn’t I?” he asks flippantly, hoping to deflect.

The frown is back, harder now. “You don’t like me.”

“Wrong,” Tony says but allows himself a small smile. “I don’t know you enough to like or dislike you. Steve loves you, though. He usually has a good instinct where it comes to people.”

With some serious exceptions, of course. Howard is not a good person, no matter who says it. He might have been once, but something turned him into a mess. Perhaps that is Tony’s fault too. He is so good at that.

“And yet he doesn’t seem to like you,” Barnes says, sounding contemplative.

“Your point being?” Tony asks, turning away to hide the irritation on his face. He does not need to be reminded of that. “Anyway, does Steve know you’re here?”

To Tony’s utter surprise, Barnes’ answer is prompt and firm. “No.” It almost sounds like he is running from something too.

When Tony looks at his expression, though, it does not betray anything.

“Don’t mind me denying all responsibility for your coming here,” he says slowly, hoping to not offend. “I might be tired of living, but I don’t want to go out being crushed by a supersoldier.”

Instead of reacting with a smile or simply more of that blank expression, Barnes looks unhappy, staring at Tony like he wants to decipher him but does not know where to start.

“You love him.”

Laughter bursts over Tony’s lips, scratching as much on the way up as the flowers do that he coughs up so regularly.

“I guess so,” Tony says, mouth stretching into a dead man’s grin. “I mean, otherwise that whole suffocating from unrequited love thing would be even more ironic.”

Barnes does not say anything to that, although he looks like he wants to. Then he lowers his head and stares at the metal fingers curled in his lap.

“Do you mind if I stay for a bit?” he asks an eternity later, sounding small.

Tony knows all about sanctuaries, about safe places to hide away in. He cannot begin to explain why Barnes would choose this, meaning he has to put up with Tony’s presence, but he would not deny it to him. “Knock yourself out.”

For the entirety of the time that Barnes spends down in the workshop with him after that, Tony does not have trouble breathing even once.

---

Tony finds them making out in his living room. He does not need to see Steve’s face to recognize the shape of his back, and Bucky’s arm stands out darkly against Steve’s bare skin.

The thing is, Tony thinks first about hygiene and the poor staff that might be stumbling over the sight, before he realizes his husband is cheating on him right in front of his eyes. It is not unsurprising, nor does it hurt him worse than a thousand other things Steve has done ever since they married. The shock slams into him with unforeseen strength, though. Where he has just been breathing, his lungs are now filled with the scratching stuffiness of a sea of flowers.

The practical part of Tony’s brain finds the reaction a little exaggerated but the rest of him is rendered helpless, unable to turn his stare away from the two men moving in perfect synchrony. They compliment each other so well, it belies all of Tony’s little fantasies about being a good counterpart to Steve.

The scene before him makes him obsolete. Neither of them needs him. Nobody does in the whole wide world. Anthony Edward Stark, heir to the greatest weapons manufacturing company in the world, genius in his own right – and nobody will even notice once he is gone.

“Wanna join?” Bucky’s voice washes like dark velvet over Tony’s skin. His gaze is on Tony with a relaxed leisure of a predator already satiated.

Tony is not a danger to them. Still, when Steve looks up, there is a hunger in his eyes that has Tony shivering. If only Steve would look at him like that once. He does not, though. But his scowl does not look very intimidating in his current state, naked and utterly at home.

“Don’t tempt him,” he says, his sneer just a necessity instead of something actually felt. “Stark doesn’t have any shame.”

And Tony has not. He would give one of his limbs, perhaps all of them, if he could slip between these two men and have them hold him like they mean it.

“As far as I remember, you don’t have either,” Bucky purrs, speaking to Steve but never taking his eyes off Tony. “I’m sure you have enough energy for both of us.”

“The though alone works better than a cold shower.”

It is banter between lovers. For once, Tony is sure Steve does not aim to hurt. It still does, of course, but Tony is used to that. What is new is the longing shooting through him, not only at the thought of Steve, but at watching Bucky sprawl out right next to him.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he says hastily and turns around to run.

In his back he hears the rumbling voice of Steve and Bucky’s resounding laughter. It stays with him for days.

---

The first time Bucky kisses Tony, it knocks the air out of his lungs in an entirely pleasant way. Breathlessness has always been tinged with fear or panic before. Now, however, it tastes distinctly of hope – not to be cured, Tony is not as naïve as that, but perhaps to die not completely unloved.

“What was that?” Tony asks when they separate, trying not to sound ungrateful but needing to know.

“You –”

Steve bursts in, showing that Tony might not be the only one with a talent for bad timing. He stops short in the doorway, looking suspiciously at how close Tony and Bucky are standing.

“What is going on?” he asks,

This time, Bucky does not hesitate to answer. “Nothing.”

It is not nothing that Tony coughs up that night.

---

The first time Steve kisses Tony, they are being watched.

“This is just an experiment,” Steve growls, looking like he would prefer being anywhere but here.

His lips are hard and unforgiving when he presses them on Tony’s, but Tony melts into the touch nonetheless. They have not even kissed at the wedding, since Steve was too busy getting out of there as soon as the priest had stopped talking.

Tony feels something move inside his chest, and while he is used to all kinds of pains and pressures, he cannot be sure what it means.

“And?” Bucky asks when they part.

Steve’s expression says more than words. He wipes his mouth and hastily takes a step back. “Nothing.”

This has become the ultimate answer between the three of them. Still, Bucky does not react how Tony would have expected, does not turn away and take Steve with him, considering this particular matter dealt with. Instead, he looks at Tony, waiting for an answer from him.

“I don’t –” Tony starts, stumbling over the words because he cannot get his mind to stop racing. “It doesn’t react to touch alone.”

It is easier to hold onto scientific facts than to make sense of feelings. Although Tony has always been an anomaly

“I told you so,” Steve says shortly and finally turns to go. Bucky lingers as if to make sure that Tony will be all right, but leaves when Tony shakes his head.

Then they are gone and Tony allows himself to try to take a deep breath. The air catches the way he is used to but – no buts. Everything is the same. Thinking anything else would be foolish, just because he does not lie on the ground, coughing his lungs up at this newest development. That will come again soon enough.

---

Sometimes, Steve scares Tony just by being able to sneak up on him. It is not normally a problem, considering they do their best to stay out of each other’s way, but it also makes it impossible for Tony to know when Steve is coming for him.

(Sometimes, Steve does not have to do anything to scare Tony. His mere existence is enough to strike an unearthly fear in his heart.)

This time, Tony does hear Steve’s steps coming closer. He does not know that it is Steve at first, but he would recognize Bucky’s, and barely anyone else comes here. Still, it is a surprise to see Steve appearing at the door to the workshop, raising his hand to knock.

All of that has Tony immediately on edge.

Still, he lets Steve in. He is not in the habit of making things unnecessarily harder on himself, and rejecting the man he is dying for would certainly fall into that category.

“Let him in, J,” he orders quietly, making sure to keep a workbench between himself and the door. That is nothing more than an illusion of safety, considering that even without his lungs being as they are, he could never outrun Captain America.

Steve step into the workshop but stays within a hasty stride from the door. Neither of them expects this to go well then.

“Bucky told me I should apologize to you,” Steve then says, the usual derision absent from his tone.

Bucky then. Tony should have known that much. For the past weeks, Bucky has assigned himself as the peacekeeper of the house, taking on the thankless job of trying to get Tony and Steve to get along. Sending Steve here like they are in elementary school and a forced handshake would make them friends again is just sad.

“What for?” Tony asks warily, still ready for the blows that are surely to follow.

“You –” Steve pauses and looks away. Tony envies him for the deep breath he takes. “You have done a lot for us.”

A humourless smiles spreads on Tony’s lips. He and his condition have make everyone he comes in contact with miserable.

“If you mean building that arm for Buc- Barnes, he has already thanked me for it,” Tony says, biting his tongue at his near blunder. Bucky is already too friendly to him when they meet. If Steve finds out, thing will only get worse. “Even though he didn’t need to.”

“It’s not just that,” Steve replies quickly. He looks uncomfortable of all things. “You – we didn’t get off on a good start, and you still let me move in with you, even if I didn’t even speak to you.” That was a clause in their marriage contract to make Tony’s death a little more comfortable, not that it really works out this way. “You made this Bucky’s home too. You’re a better person than –” He shrugs helpless.

Better than what? Than Howard said? Or the gossip rags? Better than Steve feared? Better than the horrible disaster of a human being everyone thinks him to be?

“Don’t,” Tony cuts him off almost gently. “You’ll think differently again soon enough. Let’s just keep things how they are.”

He does not think he could take it if they tried to turn this into something better and failed. Tony likes to know where he is at, and he can deal better with Steve’s hate than this uncertainty, ready to backfire on them any moment now.

When Tony turns back to his word, breathing as shallowly as possible to not get a coughing fit right here, Steve uses his opportunity to flee. It is bad that the walls are transparent. This way, Tony sees that Steve does not look back at him.

---

“Captain Rogers is asking whether you have time to come up for lunch,” JARVIS asks, interrupting Tony’s work.

Putting the soldering iron down, Tony frowns at the nearest camera. “Did someone break into the server room and munch at your cables?” he asks, wiping some sweat from his forehead. He does not take the request serious for a single minute.

“Not at all,” JARVIS replies lightly. With a hint of scolding in his tone, he adds, “I heard that human bodies need regular nutrition, although that might be a foreign concept for you. That is why I relayed the request.”

Tony loves how nuanced JARVIS is getting, how he uses sarcasm and trickery. Sometimes he feels more like a human being than Tony manages to be on his good days.

“You got the names confused,” he cautions, wondering whether the latest update might have done more damage than good. “You meant Sergeant Barnes.”

“No, sir,” JARVIS says without hesitation, causing Tony’s frown to grow. “Captain Rogers asked for your presence.”

“Sergeant Barnes,” Tony repeats stubbornly because, frankly, nothing else makes sense. “Bucky. Dark hair, metal arm. You should have seen him around down here. Do I have to do maintenance on your sensors?”

“Captain Rogers,” JARVIS answers, endlessly patient but also slightly amused. “Tall, blond and, to quote you, unbearably muscular, I’m positive.”

Tony stares. “That makes no sense,” he mutters as he waits for his racing thoughts to form into something useful, something to explain this sudden turn of events.

“Perhaps you should go upstairs and find out for yourself.”

JARVIS sounds so sure, but there is no way that Steve, who hates him, would ever invite him for lunch, not even if Bucky pushed him to do so. Steve has registered all of Bucky’s small kindnesses over the past weeks with growing discomfort.

“You wouldn’t prank me, right?” Tony asks his AI.

Entirely unhelpful, JARVIS answers, “Your well-being is my highest priority.”

Because Tony made it so. Sometimes he feels guilty for it. He created a thinking and arguably feeling person, body or not, and then commanded him to care for Tony. He would not trade JARVIS’ company for anything, but it sometimes makes him wonder whether Steve’s assessment of him might just be right.

“That could also mean you want me to smile more, which would make a prank more than possible,” Tony says dryly, not hinting at his thoughts. His kid deserves better than to be pulled into his doubts.

“Only one way to find out,” JARVIS replies cheekily.

There are more, of course. Tony could watch the camera feed from the kitchen or turn on the intercom. He even has some miniature drones lying around he could send out to spy for him. He does not.

Instead, he saves his progress and puts his tools away safely, and takes a leap of faith.

The way to the kitchen is both too long and too short. Several times, Tony has to force himself not to turn around, and yet he has not nearly prepared himself enough for whatever he might find when he is already standing in front of the door. Gathering the last bits of his confidence, he goes in.

They are sitting at the table, lunch in front of them, but they have not yet started eating. There really is a third plate, and neither of them look surprised at his sudden arrival. Still, the atmosphere is tense and not exactly welcoming.

Tony does not dare to step farther into the room. He sees everything he needs to just fine from the doorway.

“There you are,” Bucky greets him as if they have lunch together all the time.

Tony only glances at him before his eyes fall on Steve and refuse to leave him again Everything stands and falls with Steve’s reaction He already feels a slight scratchiness in his throat.

“JARVIS said you –” want is the wrong word and it does not pass over Tony’s lips, “requested my presence.”

“He told us you haven’t had lunch yet,” Steve says cautiously, “so I thought we might eat together.”

It feels stilted and formal and wrong, the way they face each other and take so much care with what they say. Tony does not move closer to the table – at least he is not running away either, although he still cannot make sense of the situation.

“Just sit down, Tony,” Bucky sighs exaggeratedly, as if Tony is the one who has suddenly turned mad. “It’s just lunch, not rocket science.”

Building a functioning rocket from scratch would still be a better prospect than sitting down to eat with his husband.

“It’s Italian,” Steve adds quietly, “Howard told me your mother was from Italy.”

Irrational anger rises in Tony at the mentions of his mother. Steve has already taken his father from him, he cannot lay claim to Maria too. Still, there is something earnest to Steve’s expression, something that has, up until now, usually been tinged with disdain but is now uncertain. Tony chances a look at Bucky and receives a small nod – which should not be reassuring, considering that Bucky is Steve’s friend not his, but gets Tony moving to the table nonetheless.

He sits and the proximity to the other man is overwhelming. All other times they have been in a room together have ended in yelling and more heartbreak. Now, they keep their heads down and their hands occupied. It is horrible, and yet the most peaceful they have ever been together.

“So,” Bucky draws out the word and waits until they are both turning towards him. “What are you working on in the moment, Tony?” he then asks, too cheerful, earning himself two incredulous looks from Steve and Tony.

Even stranger, Steve glances at Tony afterwards, almost conspiratorial, as if it is them against the sudden insanity of his best friend. The moment passes quickly, but Steve’s face still contains a trace of curiosity.

“I –” Tony clears his throat, but for once, it is not a flower making his voice hoarse, just nerves. “I’m thinking about making a phone. A mobile one.”

Nobody says anything for a long moment. They look, though, but Tony does not feel entirely uncomfortable under their gaze.

“As a weapon?” Bucky asks. He is still the spokesperson, but his incredulous expression matches Steve’s.

Howard’s entire legacy is death. Even Tony himself has never been free of it, from the world outside and within. He does not want that to be his legacy too.

“No,” he says firmly, not letting his own doubt show. “As a phone. For everyone.”

Uncertain silence falls over them, but after just a moment, a smile spreads on Bucky’s lips that has to be real, considering the way his eyes grow warm.

“And how’s that going?”

All throughout lunch, they carry on a conversation and never get stuck on complaints or accusations. If not for the ever present heaviness inside Tony’s chest, it could have been a normal meal between new acquaintances testing whether they could be friends.

Afterwards, Tony goes a whole day without the threat of suffocating on his own stupid love.

---

The first time Steve calls him Tony, the world stops turning. It feels like a punch to the gut, and yet as if he has never breathed more easily than this.

---

Sometimes it feels like a dream. Not because it is all nice and easy-going – on the contrary. But every time Steve looks at him, first with neutrality then a smile, every time he says Tony’s name or they make it through an entire conversation without hurting each other, Tony expects to wake up.

He has seen Steve sneer at him so often that every other expression looks foreign on his face. Tony cannot help but wait for the other shoe to drop.

Only it does not.

Bucky comes more often to the workshop and sometimes Steve comes to drag them both up to eat, explicitly including Tony. Despite his expectations, his meal is never poisoned. Conversation turn from stilted to engaged. One night, Tony finds Steve cradling a flower picked out of the trash.

Then Steve starts joining them in the workshop. Other than Bucky, he is not interested in helping. First, he simply watches them, then he draws them. Later, the room feels empty when the couch is not occupied by Steve.

They spend so much time together, go out together, laugh together. Together is a concept that Tony is experiencing for the first time in his life. He does not want to lose that again. Miraculously, they do not seem inclined to let go of him either.

This is not the story Tony has always been told would be his. It is not perfect either. He would not change it for anything in the world.

His breathing does not get easier per se, but life does.

---

When Bucky kisses him again, Steve is there, watching with something of a smile.

Tony reciprocates before he remembers himself and draws back as if burned. “What?”

They were sitting on the couch together, watching some movie Tony has already forgotten all about. By now, he has become used to Bucky’s wandering hands and has not thought much about being drawn in. People always liked to get handsy with him, the multi-million dollar heir dying from a mysterious disease. Despite being a wreck, everyone thinks he has always more to give.

“Tell us to stop,” Bucky says in a low voice.

Before Tony can even register his use of us, Steve is closing in from the back, melting against Tony’s body as if they have always fit together, and leans his cheek against Tony’s. He feels trapped before he realizes that this is what he has been hoping for all his life; Steve and he so close that they could almost be one.

“What are you doing?” Tony asks, panic in his tone. He expects to dissolve into a wheezing mess any moment now. His lungs are traitorously silent, though, not caring for once that he is obviously being led on.

“What I should have done from the very beginning,” Steve says.

Tony does not believe him, even though he cannot help but believe the lips touching the sensitive skin of his neck.

The knot of despair in Tony’s chest does not dissolve after this. All is not well. He feels happy, though. For the first time in almost two decades, Death does not loom over Tony’s shoulder but watches from across the room instead.

It is almost like being free.

---

“I love you.” Bucky is the first to say it.

They are sitting on the terrace together, watching the slow descent of the sun. They are not holding hands or prepare to go to bed. A few minutes ago, they have been talking about starting a small garden.

The scene is so full of domestic bliss that Bucky’s words hit Tony like a punch to the stomach. He closes his eyes and forces his face to be still. He will not take this moment from Steve and Bucky.

“You’d think the chattiest person alive would have something to say to that,” Steve teases, but falls silent when Tony still does not look, does not say anything. “Tony?” he asks quietly, nudging him.

Tony resists for a long moment longer before he blinks against the brightness of the sun and focuses on the two men beside him. They are looking at him, both smiling, although Bucky’s is tinged with trepidation and Steve’s with worry.

“I love you,” Bucky repeats slowly, never once looking away from Tony.

“And I love you too,” Steve adds, offering his hand for Tony to take, which he does, albeit hesitantly.

“I –” Tony clears his throat, his stomach dropping. That is when he realizes that he does not feel the scratching of a petal climbing up his windpipe. He has not coughed up a flower in weeks.

Taking a deep breath, he smells nothing sweet, only sea salt and drying stone. Smiling, he stares at his hand in Steve’s, and Bucky’s eyes on him.

“I love you too.”

#iron man bingo 3000 #stony #stuckony #fanfiction #unrequited love #arranged marriage #enemies to friends to lovers #hanahaki #marvel #ao3 #angst #happy ending #sick tony #my writing

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years

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10/26/2019 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 49:23-50:46, Titus 1:1-16, Psalms 97:1-98:9, Proverbs 26:13-16

Today is the 26th day of this month of October that we are in. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it’s great to be here with you today as we prepare our hearts and minds to take the next step forward as we’re moving through the Scriptures, step-by-step, day by day. And that will lead us into the book of Jeremiah as we continue to round the corner and head for home on that book and then we get to the New Testament we will be beginning another of Paul's personal letters or pastoral letters. There are three of them and we just completed two of them, first and second Timothy, and there's one more, named Titus and we’ll begin that today. We’re reading from the English Standard Version this week, which is today. Jeremiah chapter 49 verse 23 through 50 verse 46.

Introduction to the letter to Titus:

Alright. So as…as indicated at the beginning of the of our time together today we’re at the New Testament and yesterday we concluded second Timothy, which is thought to be the final writings of the apostle Paul's life. So…so it's a little strange because we reached the end of Paul's life but now are back with Paul again in another personal letter, the third of what is known as the pastoral letters. And this is a personal letter…letter written to a son in the faith, named Titus. And Titus, he…he was one of the early converts in the apostle Paul's ministry and…and then he remained a part of Paul's ministry from then on. He was trusted enough to go with Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem to attend the Jerusalem Council, which we read about in the book of Acts. And this is the Council where the church leaders were making a foundational and a very pivotal decision about whether conversion to Judaism, including circumcision was going to be required for Gentiles to be accepted into the community of faith following Jesus. So, Titus was a Gentile at this Jewish Council and his presence at the Council was instrumental in the outcome. The irony is that Titus isn't mentioned in that story in the book of Acts. Like, we only know him through Paul's letters, but this is what Paul tells us in his letters. So, the most likely scenario for this personal letter to Titus is that Paul was released from his first imprisonment in Rome and Titus accompanied Paul to the island of Crete after that in order to share the good news. And it seems as if the cretins, the people from Crete, had never…had the message of Jesus had never reached them and that they were notoriously carnal. So, when Paul preached new faith sprang up and a church community began to form. But Paul just couldn’t stay there. Like, he left Titus to form leadership among the churches that were forming and to navigate the culture and the crush of it that was already happening among the believers. And Titus was good for this job. Paul had sent him as an ambassador carrying all…all sorts of letters into fairly complicated situations. And, so, Paul sent this letter to Titus on the island of Crete, probably after he departed about the same time that he wrote the first pastoral letter to Timothy so as if he's writing to them both on the same voyage or shortly thereafter. And the letter was certainly supposed to encourage Titus, but it was more than just a word of encouragement. It was to give him apostolic authority. Like, he was putting in writing authority given to Titus to do the work that was being assigned him. So, Titus was authorized to act in Paul's name in doing the work of organizing the newly forming communities on Crete. And in doing this Titus is going to need to appoint pastors and he's gonna need ordain deacons. And, so, like in first Timothy, Paul gave these criteria for those who would seek ordained ministry. And it's, you know, probably Titus and Timothy both knew…like knew these criteria, they had both ministered with Paul, but writing it down and sending it in a letter put it in writing from the apostle Paul. And, so, they had some authority, the authority of the apostle Paul, as these things are being formed. So, Titus gives us an intimate look at the instructions given from the apostle Paul, a spiritual father to his spiritual son who he had asked to do a pretty big job in a pretty short amount of time. But Titus had been faithful and successful in all that Paul ever asked him to do. So, Paul wanted Titus to be empowered, confident to complete the task. And as we mentioned in first Timothy, today most denominations throughout the world, they consult these letters and use the instructions as part of their ordination processes. And, so, we’ll get to review that. This is a treasured letter for…for those who are in pastoral leadership but also gives us insight into the formation of the early church and the way that our faith advanced forward all the way till today. And, so, we begin, Titus chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us through another week in Your word. This is the final full week of this month. And, so, we thank You for bringing us through the final full week of this month and we turn our hearts and minds towards the future and look forward to the changing of the months in the next week and we thank You for Your faithfulness in our lives. Come Holy Spirit and lead us forward into all truth we pray. We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage, and I thank you humbly and profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment you can press the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Dear Lord Jesus maker of heaven and earth, dear Lord I pray for the leaders in this world. I pray for the leaders of Turkey and Syria and Russia. I pray for the leaders of China and Hong Kong and Japan, Korea, North and South. Lord we’re it not for your staying hand we would be destroying ourselves. Most of all, together we pray Lord for the leaders of the United States of America and all the leaders in the Western Hemisphere. Oh Lord, please come. Please come and give these leaders unexpected compassion. Reach their hearts Lord. Like Elijah __ given this fervor to do what’s right, to send the fatherless and the week. We pray these things in Jesus name Lord. We pray for all the leaders of the European countries and Africa and India. Come Holy Spirit with unexpected compassion and __ of people in power. Reach them in Jesus name we pray. Candace from Oregon.

Hello this is Christy in Korea I called back in June to give a praise report about my little baby who’s now 27 weeks old. You can probably hear him making noises. I am still behind, like three months, and it is currently pregnancy loss and infant…pregnancy and infant loss awareness week and this week I’m in July and I heard the father of the baby Orson Scott who lived less than a month and…a few days ago…and I just keep thinking about it and I wanted to tell him that months have passed and he’s not forgotten and this little one you here is one I had after a loss and I was thinking of Job that I want you to remember that Job lost everything even all his children and God restored them and I wanted you to know that I’m praying for you and God will restore you. It might not be another child and it might be. And it might be in ways you never expect and when you never expect. And I just wanted you to know that you are not forgotten, and your child is not forgotten. And I always just wanted to thank Brian for reading the Bible. And I have always thought I’ve known the story and I realized recently I never knew about Paul traveling around Asia or around Rome and all that and I really enjoyed reading that. So, I wanted to thank you for that as well. And this little guy is very happy and I listen…I’ve listened to him through my pregnancy…I’ve listened to you during my pregnancy with this guy. Anyway, thank you for everything and I try to pray and good night because it’s night here.

Hello from beautiful Cincinnati Ohio this is Daniel Johnson Junior. Shout out to all my fellow Cincinnatians that are listening to the Daily Audio Bible and those from…in Kentucky and around the world too. God is so good. I just wanted to praise Him for a few things. One of them is just right now, my mother-in-law, she’s 83 years old, recently diagnosed with cancer in her bone marrow…in the plasma cells in her bone marrow. It’s a rare form of cancer. She’s been in the hospital ICU most of this past week. It’s Saturday, October the 19th as I’m calling, and she was discharged from the ICU into a regular hospital room. She is on dialysis and will need to get some chemotherapy, but she wants to live. Even at her age she wants to live. And she’s praising God. It’s like…because…she’s been out of most of this week and just last night when I went to visit it’s like she was just making up for lost time talking and praising God. So cool. God it’s just been…she’s so neat. Continue to pray for her. Her name is Carrie. And then also just today’s Sweetish day I got to thinking, “man, roses…roses as a guy just don’t really last that long but the way that it affects my wife and others that when I give them it’s just…it’s worth it”. And I got to thinking, God made male and female and it’s like, God you’re like too…you’re like the priest and all I need to do is just look at the leaves changing. I need to look at the sunrise and just see, yes, God is really into making beautiful things. And you know what? We are beautiful things being made by God too. So, just wanted to share that with you all. God bless you from beautiful Cincinnati Ohio. Make it a great day.

Hi DABbers, this is Keira from Denver and I’m just calling for prayer for my boyfriend and I and our relationship. Every time we talk about religion or God or Jesus, going to church, we get into a fight and I mean he’s a believer and he’s been that way for a long time but he hasn’t gone to church and we did lots of lots of drugs together in the first four years we were together but we’ve been off of that for the past two and the past two that’s I just met…met Jesus right at the time that we quit and it was through his mom and I just haven’t…I’ve…I…I’ve been enthusiastic about it but personally on my own but I haven’t you know I…I’ve been going to church regularly and I don’t know it’s…it’s just…I don’t know…I…it’s just… it’s just… __ hard our relationship. And, yeah, if I could just get prayer for that. Also, __ just __ my son too. I still want prayer for my son Nish __ Albuquerque. Thank you guys. I love you so much.

Hello DAB family this is Victoria __ from Maryland and sometime during the year…during the week I heard Sinner Redeemed call in. Brother, just wanted to let you know that I’ve been praying for you and asking God to, you know, that everything is well with you. I remember the day that you changed your name from Sinner to Sinner Redeemed. I’ve also been praying for other listeners over the years that we haven’t heard from - Jamaal from Baltimore, Natasha from New York, and Ru from Florida. Along with those names I’ve just called I pray for everyone daily. And just remember that God supplies everything that we need according to __. So, it’s not our job, it’s not our bank account, and it’s not our bounty. Who is your Lord? Is it God? Thank you, Brian and Jill for this podcast. And remember family, we always win. This is Victoria __ from Maryland

hi this is Pamela from Christchurch. I’m so desperate for prayer for my brothers. I have three brothers. They all have their own issues. I ask for forgiveness in their relationships with each other. But my oldest brother, he can’t see his kids because of lies and making the wrong choice of a woman. He loves his kids, but he can’t see them. Because of lies they don’t want to see him, and he is broken. He was telling me that he was out riding on his motorbike and he felt helpless. He…he doesn’t have a purpose because the kids were his purpose. He really needs a breakthrough. He is one of the nicest guys you could possibly meet. Gosh. He really needs God, but he really needs a breakthrough. He really needs…he really needs a breakthrough. Thanks.

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beinglibertarian · 5 years

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We Need a Realistic Discussion About Firearms

In the light of both the massacre at a bar in California and the murder of a Maryland man who was deemed mentally unfit to own a firearm by order of the state’s red flag laws, the gun control issue demands rational discourse in order to preserve the natural rights and the safety of innocent people.

Both of the partisan answers have led to unfortunate death.

Hey, progressives, gun control does not work

Countless examples of gun control’s failures can be brought forth, such as the California shooter utilizing an illegal magazine that held rounds in excess of the legal capacity in California. Or the fact that he murdered people, which is obviously illegal. Or other nations that maintain strong gun laws have maintained an alarming rate of violent crimes through the use of other inanimate objects.

Prohibition does not work. It simply creates the existence of a black market which induces an even deadlier outcome.

Next to these very few examples among the multitude, frankly, you have no grounds to remove one’s natural right to self-defense. By advocating that the government use force to remove the defensive properties of peaceful individuals, you become the aggressor. You are the violent entity.

This emotional response to a very touchy issue will not have the outcome you seek. Chances are, the very opposite will happen instead.

Simply put, devout gun owners are not giving their firearms to the entity that has a consistent tendency to violate the rights of its citizenry. The idea that one demands a civilian ban on firearms while simultaneously protesting government policies and accusing them of being Nazis is nothing short of cognitive dissonance.

Hey, conservatives, the problem is not simply mental illness

To insinuate that mental illness is the sole issue creates an extremely dangerous slippery slope to tyranny. By advocating that the government decree the mentally unfit may not have guns, it is simply not logical to assume they will not abuse their authority if you believe their intentions are already malignant.

If they were to pass this legislation, I am certain they would determine what qualifies the scope of being mentally unfit. In today’s clinical standards, 1/5ths Americans are “mentally ill.” What if they deem having a mild case of anxiety or ADHD as being mentally unfit? How about ODD? Oppositional defiant disorder. Anyone who questions authority would be seen as unfit!

What if they deem all veterans have PTSD and shall be barred from owning weapons upon return from service? That maneuver single-handedly removes our most skilled civilians from being serviceable in the event of an uprising against an authoritarian government.

How about the abusive husband who reports to the authorities that his wife is mentally ill? Removing her ability to lethally defend herself from him if necessary?

Next, to the mental illness claim, conservatives intend to claim this country does not have a gun violence problem. But a mass shooting at a school or public gathering every other week proves that there is. It is dishonest to say we do not have one, and a semi-automatic Daniel Defense can take out more people than an assailant with a knife. It’s simply the truth.

However, to their point, the tool is not to blame. A quick glance at Europe’s introduction of vehicular attacks and nail bombs prove there are other factors at play. The demand to simply ban the weapon not only is an emotional response that has empirically shown to do very little to decrease violence, but it also does not address the problem! What’s the actual problem? We don’t know, because we refuse to properly diagnose it. Instead, very black and white retorts are exclaimed.

Instead of concentrating on the perpetrators, we have knee-jerk reactions and instantly revert back to redundant partisan arguments. The criminal is no longer responsible for his action. Instead, a collectivist outrage ensues and the guilty is no longer held accountable.

There is no discussion on how to address the fatherless home issue. No conversation about addressing and properly diagnosing erratic behavior, and how to approach these people. No discourse on how we as a society can teach our children to respect the sanctity of life. These are a multitude of potential factors.

The tired partisan talking points are getting us nowhere. If we want the bloodshed to cease, we must have a logical discussion and approach the very root of the issue, not simply the repercussions that unfold.

This article represents the views of the author exclusively, and not that of Being Libertarian LLC.

The post We Need a Realistic Discussion About Firearms appeared first on Being Libertarian.

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tylersquietrage · 2 years

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you know what i mean?

You know that running joke about fatherless behavior? I embody that joke. My father was not the kind of man that should have had children. He preferred to be a bachelor, but instead married my mother, and that marriage resulted me, my older sibling, and my younger brother. Things seemed fine, if your point of view is a naive 5 year old. My father was a drunk by nature. He was a military man, and we lived on base in Fort Hood, Texas. It was for all intents and purposes, my home town. It was the nicest place I've ever lived, rows and rows of cookie cutter houses, fenced in backyards, and plenty of room to run and play. All the things that mattered to an energetic child of the early 2000s.

My father was never very interested in parenting, he preferred to let the three of us do whatever we wanted, as long as there was no blood shed, no lasting tears, and nobody died, we were free to do whatever we wanted. My dad was also a prankster. One prank I remember very clearly, he handed me this brown little rectangle covered in rough crumbs and told me it was chocolate, and of course, he was my dad, so I believed everything he said, and I took a small bite and immediately made a face. It was a dog treat. He thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much. He let me and my brother try his Bud Lite when I was 5, and my brother 3, and to this day I still hold that Bud Lite tastes like piss water. My dad, in general, was a twat. Not smart, not dumb, just an average, and selfish Puerto Rican man. He loved my mother only because she was beautiful and she took care of everything. His only responsibilities held were making sure his children didn't die, and putting money in the bank.

When I was 9, my mother left my father and we moved away. I didn't understand why we left him, I loved my dad, I really did. I cried when he was deployed in foreign countries, I would beg my mom to make him spend time with us, play trains, cars, read us stories, you know? It wasn't until years later, after a less than eventful visit with him in Colorado left me full of confusion and disappointment, did my mom tell me the truth. I was so angry at her until then, until I finally understood. He, while deployed, had cheated on her and had been doing coke and drinking constantly. He didn't care about us, and was emotionally abusive towards my mom and neglectful to us. He was a bad person. He only called and spoke to us when he wanted to know about my mom's boyfriends, if she had one, if she talked about anyone, if we had met any guys, you know. Other than that, radio silence.

When I was 12, I was diagnosed with cancer. A whole other story. My mom wrote him and told him, he asked if I wanted to talk to him, and of course I said no. I've never heard from or spoken to him since. Since then my decisions are made out of spite, anger, and ignorance. All decisions ended badly, obviously. All other stories that would make this post exceptionally long, so I'll save them for later. So,

Dear Dad,

Fuck you.

Sincerely, Bo.

#writer things #writerslife #nonbinary writer #fatherless behavior #my dad went to get the milk #writing #my life #my diary #mystory #trauma #abuse is abuse #neglect #emotional neglect

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unjustfamilyjusticesystem · 2 years

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Justice not being served in our family justice system

There is a disgusting thing going on in California, and across the country. Children are being left fatherless and left to believe that their fathers are monsters.

I am the wife of a man who has lost his kids to an ex-wife who is a liar, master manipulator, and a multi-felon. My husband hasn't had any contact with kids in 6 years.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This is my husband's story to tell so I won't get deep into his story but I will skim the surface to give you a glimpse into the California Family Court System. The venomous, vipers called judges, attorneys and clients. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years back. If you know anything about bipolar then you know that when untreated and unmedicated things can get quite obscure and crazy. When I use the term "crazy" I mean "crazy" in the real sense of the word. My husband would have delusions and outbursts. He would also get paranoid. People with bipolar disorder can be abusive at times both verbally and physically. A lot of times they may even become what is called hypo or hyper-sexual and stray from the marriage.

Their marriage was on very rocky ground and when they decided to divorce they agreed AND signed court documents that stated they would share custody. My husband ended up being homeless off and on for a few years and lost contact with any and all people who he thought cared about him. His family went against him and left him to his own devices with no support whatsoever. The divorce ruined him.

His guilt got the best of him and so he decided to tell his ex-wife that he cheated on her... a side note, (his cheating did not occur with me. I didn't meet him until years later). That is when the lies and manipulation began. She decided to go begin working for a law firm to gain inside information about the court system.

A little back story...the ex-wife's mother and one of her friends, at the time, both used the family court system to keep the kids from their fathers. Her mom did it. Her friend did it. Why wouldn't she? She saw that it worked.

The sick thing is that the court has allowed this to happen to many fathers. The men are left to be raped time and time again by the very system that is set in place to protect not only families, children but also the fathers. The ex-wife has a long arrest record and is a multi-felon with the latest offense being just back in 2021 and yet the court is more than likely unaware that they are siding with a manipulating, lying felon. She is a career criminal. My husband has been arrested on a misdemeanor many years ago when he was in his early 20s. Her first arrest dates back to 2014.

There are two little girls caught in the middle of all of this left believing that daddy doesn't love them anymore. As far as they know daddy is this abusive cheating monster.Who really wins? Certainly not the kids. This is parental alienation and it is child abuse.

There have been many accusations made against men, my husband being one of them. Some accusations are true but so are very much false and in my husband's case, never proven. CPS got involved and found absolutely nothing!

Now on to the truth about custody issues: The following information is from 85 Secrets Fathers Need To Know To Survive The Corrupt Divorce Courts and Save Their Children;

1. Fathers are 8 times more likely to kill themselves than the mother. (There are approximately 21 suicides by fathers who have lost their children to the other parent because the court system fails to investigate. The judge and attorney play god and listen solely to the mother who is more than likely seeking revenge or at the very least out to hurt the father.)

2. Family courts are run unconstitutionally and unfairly

3. Under the constitution and U.S. supreme court case law, family court judges have no legal authority to assign custody of a child or terminate any parental rights WITHOUT "CLEAR AND CONVINCING EVIDENCE" (a high standard) that a parent is harmful to a child.

4. “Visitation” arrangements are harmful to children. Common sense would tell you bringing up children with 86% female influence and 14% male influence would be bad. Scientific research has now proven this. When children go out in the real world with this limited perspective, they fail.

5. Forty percent of mothers reported they had refused visitation to their ex-husband to punish the father.

6. Men cannot win custody, or even get equal time with their children, without showing that a wife is totally unfit. This is clear discrimination based on sex and is illegal under the highest laws.

7. Mothers often covet children due to fear of economic loss, low self-esteem, and malicious revenge.

8. Today men are guilty of domestic violence and child abuse until proven innocent

9. What is the maximum amount that they can take out for arrearages in child support under the law? ANSWER: The answer is provided in 15 USCS § 1673. Although most creditors can only take 25% of your “disposable earnings,” child support is divided into three categories: 1. If you are supporting others, no more than 50% of your income. 2. If you are not supporting others, no more than 60% of your “disposable income,” unless arrears are more than 12 weeks, which it can go up to 65% of your “disposable income.” Disposable income certainly includes income only after taxes and social security are removed

10. When judges deny proper due process, any order they issue is null and “void” with no legal effect or force. Whenever they refuse to hear witnesses, evidence, or testimony and do not abide by proper notice procedures or other due process requirements, their orders are void

11. BASICALLY FAMILY COURT JUDGES ARE THE MOST PROLIFIC CRIMINALS YOU WILL EVER MEET. They seem to break the law with immunity about every 5-10 minutes on the bench

12. Lawyers want custody battles to drive a $3,000 divorce to a $100,000 divorce when the couple has assets to pay. This profession attracts mercenaries with no morals. Stories of two attorneys sitting down and talking about “how much they can take this couple for” abound

So there you have it in a nutshell. The driving force of the corrupt family courts. These are but a few issues. I will bring more to your attention as I can do more research.

My prayer for doing this is to bring awareness or more awareness to the American people regarding the family law system. I hope to have wives of husbands contact me to band together to try to get legislation changed.

Please understand that I do know that it is not only women who lie and manipulate the family court system, however, I am an activist on behalf of men because I am the wife of such a man that is being kept from his children and has been for 6 years. With no end in sight unless God opens up that door. I am a woman of faith and I am I prayer warrior so I am fully aware that God is much bigger than this situation, the judge, the attorney, or the ex-wife. I have a front-row seat, therefore, I am able to see the lies at play.

May you be richly blessed!

Until my next article please head to https://www.change.org/FathersHaveRightsToo to READ, SIGN and SHARE

#FathersHaveRights #FathersMatter #StopParentAlienation #Family

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waritawrites · 3 years

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Euthanasia: A Method of Population Control

https://followerofthewayforever.wordpress.com/2021/04/27/euthanasia-a-method-of-population-control/

#passivinvoluntaryeuthanasia #involuntaryeuthanasia #medicallyvulnerable #assistedsuicide #prolife #LongTermCare #yhwh #God #medicalmalpractice #euthanasia #populationcontrol

Euthanasia has been advocated by its proponents to be a effective method of maintaining the quality of life for those who are dying. Here are the issues that I take with that stance:

- Ending a person's life abruptly does not maintain their quality of life

- A person could be at death's door and still make a full healthy recovery

- The value of a person's life should not be contingent upon their health, wealth, power in this world

We are not GOD and we should never try to be GOD. Yet, there are those who think that they should take it upon themselves to do so. Those who want to control mankind based upon what a survival of the fittest principles. This behavior comes from a place of fear, selfishness, and doubt in GOD.

Population Control is one of the most simple-minded, savage, and sociopathic practices to exist. This is the principal: If a person is imperfect, they don't have the right to live nor procreate because they will be and/or create burdens for society. This means that many people groups will be viewed as a detriment to society including:

- The Poor

- The Physically Disabled

- The Mentally Ill

- The Severely Disabled

- The Elderly

- Unwanted Babies

- Unwanted Children

The list can go on. There is no room for error, thus no room to grow and mature. No room to be human and become GOD's best you.

Euthanasia is often being presented as a solution to ease the suffering of the severely ill. Yet, for many it is misused as a way get rid of those who can't take care of themselves. The most extreme cases of those who experienced severe pain and suffering while dying are given as justifiable cause for Euthanasia. Malthusian eugenicist and Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger often used the most extreme cases of poverty and bad parenting as propaganda to generate support for the use of birth control to gradually eradicate those whom she felt were dysgenics - a cancer on society.

As the baby boomer population ages, we must be on guard to protect the elderly. We have to be ever so vigilant against population control advocates using the medical industry and legislation to depopulate our elderly members of society.

The Corona Virus was used as a reason to euthanize the elderly in two ways:

- Placing corona virus patients in Nursing homes

- Refusing treatment for the elderly diagnosed with Corona Virus due to their age being seen as disability that causes a lack of usefulness. Former New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg,

Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick, and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo have all expressed such eugenic attitudes towards the elderly:

Mike Bloomberg

Elderly Cancer Patients Should Be Denied Treatment To Cut Costs

Watch The Daily Caller's video, Bloomberg: We Should Let Old People With Cancer Die, of him saying such:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvxUMv76aPY&w=560&h=315

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick

Texas' lieutenant governor suggests grandparents are willing to die for US economy

Andrew Cuomo

AP: Over 9,000 virus patients sent into NY nursing homes

By BERNARD CONDON and JENNIFER PELTZ

NY Nursing Home Report Reveals Data May Have Been Undercounted 'By as Much as 50 Percent' by Cortney O'Brien

Cuomo aide admits they hid nursing home data so feds wouldn’t find out

By Bernadette Hogan, Carl Campanile and Bruce Golding

In The Bible, GOD says:

Proverbs 30:14

There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

Isaiah 10:1-2

1 Woe unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, and that write grievousness which they have prescribed;

2 To turn aside the needy from judgment, and to take away the right from the poor of my people, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless!

In the context of Isaiah 10:2, judgment means guidance and counsel.

Proverbs 17:5

Whoso mocketh the poor reproacheth his Maker: and he that is glad at calamities shall not be unpunished.

Matthew 10:28

28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Proverbs 3:25

Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.

We are to care about one another. GOD's Word, In the Bible, says:

Jesus gives us examples of doing good in Luke 10:25-37, Mark 2:1-5 and Mark 3:1-5:

Luke 10:25-37

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

Mark 2:1-5

1 And again he entered into Capernaum after some days; and it was noised that he was in the house.

2 And straightway many were gathered together, insomuch that there was no room to receive them, no, not so much as about the door: and he preached the word unto them.

3 And they come unto him, bringing one sick of the palsy, which was borne of four.

4 And when they could not come nigh unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was: and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay.

5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.

Mark 3:1-5

1 And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand.

2 And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him.

3 And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth.

4 And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.

5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

#passivinvoluntaryeuthanasia #eugenics #population control #prolife #GOD #Jesus

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dorians-sideboob-blog · 6 years

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Tw: family death (not anything recent, don't panic), HIV/AIDS

The 20th anniversary of my dad's death is coming up and I'm starting to feel it. I know it's dumb because it's been so long and I barely knew him, but it's hitting me harder than usual.

I used to be able to shrug it off no problem, but I'm really struggling with this one this year. I think it's because it's been 20 years.

I'm 24. Most of my life, I've been fatherless. I'm starting to forget his voice. I have video tapes and stuff, but they aren't the same. I'm an adult now and he never got to see that.

I still wonder if he would have accepted me as a man. He wanted so much to have a daughter. Would he have still loved Me? Would we be close? It bothers me more than I'd admit.

None of his family talk to me anymore, not that they ever really did anyway. Racist. Rude towards my brother. Dismissive of our autism diagnoses. Hateful towards my mother.

I don't care about them, but I wish I had someone to talk to about him. I try not to bring him up too much around my mother because she gets upset, but I wish I knew more about my dad.

Just writing this post makes me cry, which pisses me off.

I saw this news post the other day that pissed me off too. So many of the comments were saying how HIV/ AIDS isnt a problem anymore, who cares. 20 years was a long time ago, yeah, but not that long ago. And I still know other families like mine that are losing people to it. My mom STILL struggles being HIV positive. I know she will die young and there's so little information about it, I don't know when that will be. She is healthy now, but she could deteriorate at any time.

I've never told my mom, because I know it would upset her, but I remember my dad dying . I remember how sick he was. Thinking about her dying like that, literally wasting away into nothing but skin and bone, losing all will to live. I can't take it. How am I suppose to go through that again? How am I suppose to be strong for her and my brother and my family? I can't watch it again. I can't deal with ignorant doctors again, ignorant family.

When I think about it too much, I panic. I don't want to get worked up so I'm going to end this post here.

I'd appreciate this not being reblogged.

#hiv #aids #hiv/aids #tw death #tw hiv/aids #tw family death

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delusionanddream · 7 years

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Judgement - a disease

-HIV postitive,he has syphilis also.

- oh no ! God knows what bad thigs this man has done !!!

who gives you the fucking right to judge a person by a laboratory report? who gives you the responsibility to judge someone’s whole life by a single incidence?

why do we do things like that?

A boy who went to middle east to give support to his fatherless big family at the age of 14 and comes back when he is 27 and if he is diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease, I’ll say - that’s okay.

if a prostitute comes to me with an induced or septic abortion it’ll not make me hate her . Thats nothing abnormal.

the first question that we ask someone we meet is - ‘what do you do?’ it’s not something wrong to ask, what a person is doing indicates things about him.

the wrong thing that we’re doing is judging that person.making classes, divisions. I’ve noticed sometimes the next question is- ‘what does your father do ?’

I’ve noticed that People appreciate me and my elder sister for being in medical profession. I know we’ve a different position to them . Well, both of us have friends who are as meritorious as we are . Unfortunately they couldn’t get chance in a government medical college and got admitted then to some college under national university as their family couldn’t afford the cost of admission in private universities. Again, we have friends who used to fail in math,physics but still studying engineering in some private versities or went abroad .yes, their parents have got huge amount of money .so, what’s making the difference of status between them ? Money?

Money can make you enjoy your life, give you opportunities that you don’t deserve but you can’t buy your personality in exchange of that. personality is not available in the shopping malls.

Merit ? A good quality indeed.however, I’ve seen some meritorious people ; some have got money , some have got beauty , some have got lots of more but don’t even know to respect people . A petty thief or a swindler wouldn’t have less talent than I’ve but his talent has no value.

You may have already got one of the highest positions in the society but when you laugh at a physically or mentally disabled person, you make it pretty clear form where you are .

Beauty?

Trust me who see the beauty first are never good from heart.People worship beauty but if you have a dirty heart inside your chest cavity ,your beautiful face can’t hide it .

There’s a saying that your beauty makes me ugly. It’s not beauty actually, its our mentality that defines someone as ugly to others , to himself.

We forget that things that we’ve got are not totally in our control . we are blessed with lot of things but its not their fault who are unfortunate. we just can’t judge someone by their appearance, status, root bla bla bla.

the judgment that we practice is like an infectious disease that we spread ,that has been incubated into us since we were children.the division that we make is not for something better , we do it for some ridiculous show off .

we forget that everyone is helping all others from their own position.

People are there among us who don’t think in this typical way ,who try to see the real person behind the mask,who value the soul . How many of us try to understand their ethics? How many of us give respect to them ?? - Most of us don’t.

Cause we all are diseased .partially or completely , we all are .

#judgement #disease #infected #society

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captainalwayslazycollectort-blog · 6 years

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Car insurance WITHOUT a bank account?

"Car insurance WITHOUT a bank account?

does anyone know where/what car insurance i can get as i can not have a bank acount or debit/credit card. can only pay with cash by monthly installments

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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does anyone know where/what car insurance i can get as i can not have a bank acount or debit/credit card. can only pay with cash by monthly installments

Health Insurance N. Florida?

Health Insurance CHP (Capital Health Plan) Tallahassee FL is diagnosing me? Why did my health insurance company contact my primary doctor after a hospital visit? After a recent visit to the ER due to a esophageal stricter which scared us thinking Chest pain! Spent 16 hours being observed and tested! Finally send down to endoscopy for a esophageal dilation! Did the job!! I was sent home 4 hours later! Now two weeks later I get a phone call from my Primary care Doctors office manager saying that my primary received a memo from my health insurance (after my ER visit) company and I was instructed to call and make an appointment for alcoholism counseling???? The night of the incident where I couldn't swallow, and was in pain! we had guests over and had a few beers! I gave the attending ER doctor all information including I had drank beer an hour before I got there. OK, now, For the 16 hours at the hospital and the multiple blood tests, everybody including the Dr's said everything looked good! and the Dr. that discharged me explained to my wife in detail about my blood work, said things were fine. So, why would my CHP (Capital Health Plan) health insurance company be contacting my primary? Especially about alcoholism counseling, this has NEVER been an issue in the past! I'm so upset! I've been with my primary for over 15 years and due to a knee injury he prescribes me mild pain killers, and Florida Law makes him take a urine sample every 3 months! Again this has never come up. Is this normal for an insurance company to do??? I'm so upset!!!!""

How much does it cost to have regular health insurance for 10 employees?

I am starting a pizza shop and i was wanting to know how much is usually cost for normal health insurance. Also if someone can tell me how much it costs for liability insurance for the store. It is going to be a little caesars pizza. Thanks. -AMV

""My husband and I are self employed.....We are shopping for health Insurance, what do recommend?""

We are looking for affordable health insurance, but I don't even know where to begin....If you are self employed, who is your provider and why?""

Where can i get life insurance for my daughter who has cancer ?

Cheapest Motorcycle insurance?

I have a job & have paid my car insurance fully each month since I was 16 it was expected of me. I also tend to pay for my motorcycle insurance I have 2 jobs & go to College. I have had 3 speeding tickets 2 in 2008 & one in 2009 2 were around 10MPH over & the 3rd was around 15ish. I have my reasons for speeding regardless drive down the interstate & find more then 3 people that don't speed..SERIOUSLY I HAD PLACES TO BE cops are prejudice. Anyway I want a 02 or newer Motorcycle & state farm is my current provider although I know that are Top Of The Line & I just want the cheapest insurance for motorcycles. I understand my rates will be higher then average but I turn 21 in a year and it can only drop. I just need some Input here. Thank you!

If I put a 1 million dollar life insurance policy on myself then I pay for 3 months then get hit by a car?

Alright so if I get hit by a car after 3 months of having life insurance and I die does my beneficiary get the 1 million?Or will that person only get how much I have payed with the payments?

""In NYS can I make auto payments on a car in my name, and have the insurance in my boyfriends name?""

Will the car dealer have a problem with the insurance being in his name because I am only 20 and been driving for a year so my insurance rate is alot higher than his but the car is for him, so its not like I am going to be driving it I am just putting the loan in my name to build my credit. Is that against the law??""

What is the best car insurance that you don't have to pay much in any state?

I live in NJ and paying half as my car cost...

How much does it really cost to own a Porsche 911 Carrera 4S in California? MSRP is...?

...$88,400. What other costs are there? http://www.porsche.com/usa/models/911/911-carrera-4s/ I am trying to own one of these. Just wondering what's is in store for me (i.e. tax, ...show more""

What company has the least expensive auto insurance for young drivers?

Does anyone know of an insurance company that is reasonable with it's rates for a young lady driver with a good driving record but bad credit? Full coverage is needed on the vehicle. Thank you for your time and your answers.

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone know where I can get cheap bike Insurance I'm looking for basic coverage on a 650cc Yamaha Maixm I just got my licence in May. I live in Ontario Canada.

Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?

What kinds of life insurance should I have?

I'm 30 years old, and my love is 39. I have an AD&D insurance policy from work listing him as the beneficiary. What other insurance should I purchase? We do not have any children. Do not say we're going to hell, or that we are sinners. If you've read the bible and truly believe in it, then you should know about judging others and casting stones.""

If I got a 1000cc+ for my first bike and restricted it to a 125cc would the insurance be cheap?

the bike would be restricted to a 125cc. This would also be my first bike and I would be 17 yrs old.

Best insurance for young driver?

I live in Ontario, and I am looking for the best (or give me a list) of relatively cheap companies. I am 16 years old, but gathering information for when I am 17-18. My parents are currently with State Farm, but I am looking to purchase a Mini Cooper (y. 2000-2004), so what would be the best option for me? A list of good insurance companies would be helpful, and any additional information is great. Thank you in advanced, Spencer""

What can I do if I was dropped from my car insurance?

I got a letter today, saying that my car insurance policy will be terminated near the end of October, less than a month from now. This is because of a minor accident last December and a recent speeding ticket that I just finished traffic school for. What are my options? Are my rates going to be sky high with another company because of this?""

Cheap uk car insurance for a learner driver ? any good companies ??

question for pps in uk my husband just bought a little fiat punto got a provisional licence and wants 2 learn to drive in it we new to all this any idea what kind of cover he needs and any good not 2 expensive companies to try for insurance , hes 44 so not a young lad who wants to race about , he has a brother in law and m8 who both have full clean license who have offered to put the L plates on and take him out at weekends on a quite road to get some experience as well as having driving lessons too when he knows the basics , but we looked on nhet at diffrent insurance companies and they all so diffrent as anyone got any experience of whos the best company or comapnies to try thank you also whats diff with any driver or 1 driver and theres 3rd party etc , like i say we really are all new 2 this any info will be well appreciated thank you""

Is medical payments coverage needed in auto insurance?

How important is medical payments coverage auto insurance coverage. I currently have at as $10,000 coverage. Is this over kill? I have health insurance (HSA) that has a $5000 deductible per year, after that it's covered 100%. thx""

Refused car insurance for being?

a house husband (was told by insurers ) so could i word it as being a child carer (without telling lies) for insurance purposes

Can AAA raise my Homeowners insurance rate by $300 for the next 3 years?

My property was stolen from the backseat of my car. AAA is saying if they pay out more than $750 (including my co-pay) then my Homeowners insurance will be raised by $300 for the next 3 years and it will be a point on my property. Is this right/legal??

""My friend does not have auto insurance, can he drive other people car?""

my friend want to drive someone's else car, which the car owner does have insurance to cover 3rd party driver. However he does not have auto insurance himself. If there is an accident, will his license be suspended? Will he be responsible for anything else during the accident? Thanks""

Trying to get a car insurance quote?

I'm trying to get a car insurance quote online and they ask some questions i don't know what they mean like: 1-anti-brakes? (what this means) 2-defensive driver course? (what this means)

How much on average does insurance cost for a small business in UK?

Health Insurance - What's your stance?

Should everyone be required to have health insurance? If you want to keep it hypothetical, assume health care is inexpensive and available. If NO, who will pay for the care of the ...show more""

What is a good type of home owner insurance to get?

I may be purchasing my first home on a land contract from a person that i know that owns the house out right. the land contract would be a five year contract or sooner if i can afford to pay the house off. i have lived in the house at one time, not for sure about a few things on the house. i was wondering if anyone may know of a website or a website that may give an estimate quote on home owners insurance on the home i may be buying. i wanted to get some idea of how much it may be and what home owners insurance covers. i have looked at a few websites, but there are a lot of different things to include in insurance and different requirements that may need to be met before the house is insured. the house is a bit of a fixer upper and needs lots of tender loving care before its decent. its livable but i need insurance if i buy it. the owner who is selling isn't requiring insurance, but i want to be smart and safe and have insurance. any suggestions? i must give an answer to the owner tomorrow, because i know he has others wanting to buy. i don't want to get into something that i have no clue about before purchasing. i am looking and getting the idea, but was looking for tips or more info. thanks""

Car insurance WITHOUT a bank account?

does anyone know where/what car insurance i can get as i can not have a bank acount or debit/credit card. can only pay with cash by monthly installments

Is it possible to get different car insurance under the same household?

Hi, So I have a question regarding different car insurance. MY family has allstate for the car insurance. However, I do not want to go under allstate for family reasons. I am trying to get geico for my car. However, my father states that if you were to get geico you would still have to add everyone's name under the insurance policy. I am trying to get my own individual policy without adding anyone under the car insurance policy. I wanted to know if it is possible to get different car insurance under the same household? Thanks :) P.S: I am 23 years old. About to turn 24 years old. I wanted to get my own individual policy without adding anyone on the car. The car was a gift from my parents to me.""

How do I find health insurance for myself as an individual?

I am currently a sophomore in college, and I really hate student insurance, as it covers and pays for almost nothing, and doesn't include dental. Where do I go if i need to get a different provider?""

I need health insurance in california?

i really need health insurance i have a really bad sinus problem & ADD i already had a surgery in the past for my sinus problem and i had healthy families insurance and they paid for it and they used to pay the office visits too my mom only paid $5 copay and since i turned 19 i cant have that insurance anymore is the some other insurance that is full coverage and is not very expensive? i already tried getting medical but did not qualify and i dont have a job because everyone is getting laid off over here

What does liability mean with Auto Insurance?

Im in the military so I dont need any medical mine is fully paid but does this mean I dont have any coverage when it comes to damage to my own vehicle? I got quoted $544 for 6 months. ANy idea how much it would be if I got insurance on my vehicle too. Thank you

Do I need auto insurance on a car that is not running with no plates?

I live in Parma, Cuyahoga County, Ohio. I am planning on buying a project car that is currently not running. I am going to keep it in a garage out on the farm and slowly build it back up. What kind of insurance do I need on it? My old car used to have storage insurance on it for winters, about $20 a month. I don't want to pay $70 per month for a nonrunning car!""

Does UK car insurance get noticeably cheaper when you reach 25 years old?

or is this just a general thought among motorists?

Where can I get comprehensive car insurance to cover in Serbia and Montenegro?

I am travelling from the Uk to Serbia and Montenegro in June 2007 and want to have my car covered for this trip. My car is registered in the UK but my insurance company will not cover me for this trip.

How much would insurance cost on a 3.5 tonne recovery truck?

ive brought a 3.5tonne tow truck for personal use not business, i wanted to know how much would the insurance cost me? am aged 23""

How much will my auto insurance premium decrease when...?

I turn 25 in a year, which I heard is when my auto insurance will go down a good bit. My wife will be 22, and we are on the same policy (We only drive our own cars). We both have clean driving records, good credit, and consistently held auto insurance since we were of driving age. She has minimum coverage on her car, and I have comp/collision with $1000 deductible. Our premium is $755/six months. So, when I turn 25, how much of a decrease in premium should we expect to see?""

Car insurance...?

When you get a quote online for car insurance you get asked so many question like deductible, collision... etc etc.. so many numbers to choose from.. Can anyone explain them to me? i'm just used to liability or full coverage.. right now i have liability on my car and i pay 135 a month. When i got a quote from allstate it turned out to be only 38 a month??? i'm sure i didn't pick the right numbers....""

Affordable health insurance?

Since money is tight, we are going through the state for health insurance. It's a pain especially since my weekly pay changes all the time so they want it called in to see how much they have to charge us every month. At least my husband's pay stays the same. I see health insurance ads on tv and online but not sure which is affordable and even more important legit enough to go with. Any suggesttions?""

Am i covered under my parents car insurance?

i have my license, im 16 and i sometimes drive my parents car; am i covered under their insurance? i think they added me in their insurance. im asking because i have friends at school that drive their parents car, but have their own insurance, and its expensive. so how come they have to pay their own insurance, and im covered under my parents? and when my parents added me did their rates go up? thanks for your help oh and i think i have statefarm""

Why did my car insurance rates suddenly double?

I am almost 40, have a spotless driving record, have the same car, haven't changed the policy, and haven't moved. So how can my insurance agent just up my rates all of the sudden and not give me an answer why. He just says that things change. Is there an industry standard or can agents just screw with us at will? I have been with this WELL known insurance company for 4 years. This isn't some guy working out of his garage. Any experts out there that can shed some light on this for me. I am shopping around for new insurance as i type.""

Can my License Plates be suspended under the mandatory insurance law even if I did not drive the car?

My sister was arressted for driving my car with no insurance and now my plates are suspended. I thought it was only if you were driving your own car they would suspend it? Help!

What is the best car insurance for teenagers who got their first car?

It's an older model car and I'm 19. One of my friends pay I have a friend who has state farm and pays 100 a month. Also believe it or not I have another friend who got insurance under her parents insurance company and she got a discount for it.. She is under Progressive and pay 50 dollars a month. I'm a male and I can only dream of my insurance being $50. That isn't going to happen.

""Im looking or an affordable health insurance, please help?""

hello, I need to see a doctor as soon as possible but i don't have insurance. anyone know any good affordable health insurance. thank you in advance""

""I got a job but my wife pregnant , but I can't find any healthy insurance?""

My company was closed 16 months ago . I got a contract job this month , and it will start middle of this month . But one serious problem with my wife's insurance . Before I find this job , we made about 2500 per month , and we have medi-cal insurance . My new job is a six months contract without any benefit , and 6000 per month . So we can't have medi-cal anymore . When I called a lot of insurance agent , the only one answer I got is I can buy insurance for my wife , but insurance will not cover any fees for pregnant . My wife will delivery my 2nd baby this oct. and my job will star 2 weeks later . Please help me to find out the way to help my family . Best Regards, Joseph PS. I live in California""

Is it cheaper to shop for car insurance online vs local agents?

I am looking to switch and was told by an agent that they like it when you come to them in person rather than over the phone? I don't want to spend a whole day running to different agencies only to save a couple of dollars each month because the agent gets a share. Is that how it works? Is it cheaper to shop online? I would appreciate any reply.

Looking to get a car insurance but.....?

Looking to get a car insurance but i am not sure what it covers and what should i ask my insurer to include in my policy?

Student: Buy car with years free insurance?

I'm looking to buy a new car, and I have heard that you can get special deals where you get a years free insurance. I'm 18 and have one years ncb. Does anyone now of a deal like this currently on offer? Cheers :D""

Low car insurance?

I wanna get a insurance for my car. it's a 1995 Pontiac Firebird. I got my license when I was 18 and now I'm 21 and I have a clean record in state of California. I just need a cheap insurance. How much is it gonna cost me each month? Which one is the cheapest one?

What companies do not offer employees health insurance?

I was wondering what kind of companies do not give their employees health insurance, besides temp agencies? Thanks""

Looking for health insurance for my parents who were deemed 'high risk' and have been rejected several times.

My dad is self-employed, so no company insurance plan, and my mom does not work. They are both considered 'high risk' because of health problems and having to take several prescription medications. They have been rejected a few times, one was Blue Cross Blue Shield and I don't know the others. I'm very concerned for their health and want to find something to help them. My dad makes enough money to not qualify him for anything for low income families. Does anyone know about any affordable health insurance companies that accept 'high risk' people? Or insurance for the self employed? Thanks!""

What is the Best & cheapest insurance in Texas?

I drive a 1989 Toyota Camry, I just go to and from school (less than 2 miles away) i only drive the car like Mon. & Wed. and yet i have to pay like 150 for car insurance, in 6 months of paying, i pay what my car is worth. So i wanted to know is there any cheap insurance i dont care if they suck or anything like that, i just want something below 100 dlls. so please tell me which insurance you use and how much you pay a month that would really help. Thank you in advance -Angela""

What's the cheapest insurance company or booker they've come across?

The cheapest iv encountered is onlyyoungdrivers.com the next being RAC insurance a few hours quid more, followed by 4youngdrivers.co.uk that is myself being under 25. Also has anyone found it cheaper to ring the direct in attempt to get cheaper quote, iv stayed away from this as of yet because of the cost of calling.""

Car insurance WITHOUT a bank account?

does anyone know where/what car insurance i can get as i can not have a bank acount or debit/credit card. can only pay with cash by monthly installments

Is cheap car insurance is good to use?

""18-yr-old driver, new liscence, needs insurance?""

In the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. I know that a major company won't take a new driver on as first-time insurance, or the rates would be really high, so what's the best suggestions? Thanks!""

Can an insurance company drop your auto insurance any time?

I have had 3 claims in 4 years. The first two claims where while living in another state. I since moved and just put in my third claim today (first claim with this company). My insurance payment really isn't all that high, about $75 monthly. The lady told me today that it would go up 10% if the cost was over $750. (it will be) She said this didn't effect my insurability or anything, but what if I had another accident in a year?? The real question is, can an insurance company drop you for any reason at any time? Some have said no, only within the first 60 days, others say yes, absolutely any time. What's the right answer?""

Do i need to add extra car insurance?

Hello. My father has a BMW and i am 16. When i am 17 i want to share the BMW with my father. My father has insurance on the car already. Its a full cover insurance. When i am 17 do i need to add extra insurance to the car or do i just leave it as it is? Do i need to add my name along with my dads name to the owner of the car?

""When buying car, do i look at the fuel efficient or the insurance price of the car?

should i buy a car that will save me money on gas or buy a car that is cheap on insurance???

Do the affordable care act effect all health insurance?

Or is it just limited to obamacare?

Best insurance for young driver?

Car insurance problems?!?

So I've had my license since I was 18 and now I'm 21, my boyfriend has always just let me use vehicles that he would give me that are registered in his name and on his insurance and I already know someone is going to point out its a bad idea I don't have my own vehicle, we have been together 5 years and haven't had a problem, but recently when I was driving my truck, registered and insured by him, some senile old woman pulled out around 8 feet in front of me and stopped right in the middle of the road so her whole car was right in my lane and the back end of her car was still sort of on the road she was pulling out of, I slammed on my breaks and when I realized I wasn't stopping I turned my wheel as hard as I could so I didn't hit her and I ended up just catching the end of her car and totalled mine by hitting the stop sign and about 4 trees on the road she was coming out of because of the fact that I was driving my boyfriend's insured vehicle and me and him live together, his insurance automatically added me to his policy which caused it to sky rocket from $190/mo. to over $400/mo. I was wondering if he should try to switch companies, or just keep me on his insurance whether he switches or not ?""

What's a good car to get cheap on insurance ?

I'm from uk

What is the cheapest auto insurance for a new driver?

I'm 23, female, and a new driver. I don't care about the quality of the insurance, I just need CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP. A potential job depends on a car I'm about to get, and I need cheap insurance ASAP.""

Is Diesel cheaper than gasoline for insurance?

i need a 4x4 truck, im 16, which is cheaper for insurance?""

Insurance is a scam?

Why would we need it to be a law? Insurance is in case something happens, well what if nothing ever happens, all that money goes straight into their pockets. If it's law, they should make a new law where, after a certain number of years that you never got in an accident you get your money back. The main reason a hit and run occurs is, jail, or they don't have insurance. You would solve half the problem! I read in the DMV booklet that you can show proof that you have $35,000 in an account, and you wouldn't have to pay insurance, does anybody do this?""

Can you get life insurance on a non-relative?

I am legally still considered a minor child, although I am 16. My parents are divorced and I live with my Mom in Georgia. My natural father is dying of cancer, and lives in Illinois. Is it possible to get a life insurance policy with me as the benefactor even if me and my father live in 2 different states? Technically my Mom & Dad are divorced and she would not be able to get a life insurance on him on her own, as she is a non-relative. But I am his only son, so couldn't I get one on him? Even though by law children cannot legally engage in any sort of contract.""

""I'm traveling for a month, do I need car insurance?""

I'm going to be traveling for a month, during which nobody will use my car. My insurance expires right before the month starts, and I want to switch providers after that, but is there any good reason to continue paying insurance for that month at full rate when nobody's even going to touch the car? Or, is there another way I can save money?""

How can I get product liability insurance?

I'm going to sell some of my homebuilt PC's on ebay, and I have been thinking about worse case scenarios. For example, if the power supply somehow catches fire and burns down the house, I will have insurance and they wouldn't be able to sue me for everything I have, right? Where and how and how much?""

How much per month would insurance be at 18y.o.?

I'll be in the military soon, so I'll need a car and transportation (in the instance that I'm not shipped to the sandbox). I've tried looking up quotes on progessive and a few other instant quote people online. But the confusing part is they all seem incredibly high. I put in the car as a 2010 mazda 3(which I hope to have), and age at 18, and all the other info. It had me at 800/mo with no collateral or collision coverage. What the f? I tried all different car combinations but they all were high or in the general extreme area. Can someone let me know what I'm doing wrong?""

""Anyone know where I can get 1 day car insurance, i'm under 21?""

I am 20 years old, and taking my car in for a service to VW whom have offered me a courtesy car as I need to get to work etc throughout the day and pick the car up in the evening. Only problem is they won't let me use their insurance policy as i'm under 21 and after calling my insurance today who clearly said to me we do not deal with temporary cover even for existing customers . I therefore asked how much it would cost to add another car to the policy and they want an initial payment of 97 and I will have to pay ATLEAST the first months payment after which i can then cancel which is a rather expensive way of doing this. Any information/help is greatly appreciated! :)""

Question about getting your own insurance?

A friend of mine recently just got his license and he tried to go on his mother insurance who doesn't have any insurance. Well, she tried to go on her own and they said that she had to put every single person who has insurance on, which will cost like 500 dollars per person!! Anyways, will it be possible for him to get his own, and will it be cheaper? Also, his father has his license suspended but that was at least 2yrs ago or so. Do they have to know about this or is they way to keep it from them. And, Do you have to put money down when getting insurence?""

Whats the cheapest car to run?

Cheapest tax, cheapest insurance, low petrol consumption, cheap car in the first place etc. Im currently driving a rover 25 1.4 and just want something a bit cheaper. (particuarly on tax!!)""

First speeding ticket? Insurance?

I just got my first ticket for speeding ever. First time I've ever been pulled over. I got a ticket for going 9 mph over. He didnt say anything about points but he said I needed to pay it within 30 days which I will be doing tomorrow. Will my insurance go up? We have geico and live in FL if that helps. Thanks so much for all answers and God bless!!! (:

I pay more for auto insurance than medical insurance?

And no, im not a bad driver. Will Obama have some sort of auto insurance reform next to help us out? Look at how many Americans dont have car insurance but drive anyways.""

What's the cheapest insurance for a 17-year-old male in New Jersey? I just need something affordable.?

What cars are cheap to insure in england?

im 19 and have had my license for 2 years and im looking to buy a car. I want a 4 door car but really don't care what it is as long as it is cheap. So i would like to know if there are any particular cars that are known to have cheaper insurance, thanks.""

Term Life Insurances-Insurance Law?

Hi I was wondering if you would be able to look at a brief summary of my family situation and give me some suggestions.I want to get insurance but can u recomment some changes in what I presently have. I thank you. I am married and have 3 childern (ages 9, 12, and 16) I just bought a waterfront home which is valued at 500,000 with a 300,000 mortgage. My jewrely is about 10,000. We have 3 cars a 2004 BMW, a 2002 Lexus and 1997 Jeep Wrangler. My husband works at a large manufacturing firm and earns about 125 K. I run a day care center from my home and earn about 45K. I don't have any employees. My kids all go to private school - which costs me about 25 a year. We honestly have no savings or investments and almost no discretionary income at the end of the month. ( which is a main reason I am writing this!) I met with a financial planner and they suggested on purchasing a 50,000 variable life policy for each of us as an investement. I think i am worried about the high vost of these policies This is what is presently covered property risks Ho3 with no endorsements or riders, dwelling 300,000, liability 100,000, medical payments 2500/person, uninsured/underinsured motorist 100,000,collision and other than collision (100 deductible) Personal risks: Life - my husband employer paid group term 50,000, we both have 50,000 universal life policy disability - mr. murphy - employer paid group policy (LTD with a 90 day wait with benefits to age 65) I have no coverage Medical: My husband - employer paid Major Medical (family plan) myself - i have an individual plan and still pay premiums I thank you for whatever you can give me!!""

""How and how much for car inspection, title, insurance, and tags?""

I am getting a car from someone, and I need to know what all I need to do to get it registration (tags), it inspected, it with insurance, and with the title transfered over. The car is just sitting in a driveway right now with nothing on it, so how do I get everything I need done to it when it can't legally drive anywhere?""

Car insurance WITHOUT a bank account?

does anyone know where/what car insurance i can get as i can not have a bank acount or debit/credit card. can only pay with cash by monthly installments

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/2008-harley-low-rider-insurance-sokolowski-kareen"

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