#i could talk about him for days | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monrohakay · 3 months

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I would love to see hear more about your headcannon about nico

Have a good day

Oh my goodness, I could go on forever about him and what I imagine his backstory to be. I’m so sorry for how long this will be, but you’ve unleashed a can of worms and I thank you for that! So here we go!

It started with me being convinced that if Nico and Kai ever met, they would have a rivalry going on and Levi and Amelia would find it adorable yet slightly annoying cuz they get along so well. And Levi would tell Nico not to annoy his mentor’s partner, but Amelia would just laugh.

We don’t know much about where Nico’s from or his family, except that he’s not out to them even thou he was out to people in his daily life and they can be really critical. So I imagine he grew up in a traditional Korean Italian home (cuz Alex Landi is Korean Italian, and I have person experience with homophobic Italian family members so I’m projecting). He’s a middle child with two brothers. He gives off competitive energy that comes with having siblings, and kinda seems like he’s used to being overlooked and fighting for attention, like a middle child.

His older brother (I’m going to refer to him as Siwon since that’s who I imagine his actor to be) is something his parents deem successful, I’m thinking a lawyer cuz I want Nico to have a totally different career path then him. He was an honours student, always top of his class. He has a beautiful wife (who he met in highschool), a son and a daughter on the way. His life is perfect in his parents eyes. He’s maybe two or three years older than Nico. Nico always felt like he was in his brother’s shadow, but he respected and looked up to him. I feel like their parents would constantly be comparing the two, like “Siwon was valedictorian, are you going to be?” and “Nico was nominated for homecoming king, are you nominated for prom king?”

His younger brother (referred to as Rowoon for the same reason as his older brother) is five or six years younger, and he’s spoiled by their parents. While they’re critical of the older two, the youngest is their pride and joy and they don’t mind him doing whatever he wants because the other two are successful enough. Rowoon loves Nico and idolizes him in almost the same way that Nico did with his older brother. But Nico is much kinder and receptive to it, and he’s always supportive to Rowoon. I think Rowoon would have much more natural talent and smarts, so he doesn’t have to work as hard as the other two and he has a lot less pressure. While the other two were expected to have a 98-100% average in everything, Rowoon’s sitting at like 95% and their parents are still proud of him.

Nico was raised with traditional catholic Italian and Korean views being shoved at him. So when he starts realizing he might like boys, it’s not exactly something he can come out and say or act on while he’s living with his parents. He probably wanted to go into sports, (likely baseball or soccer, but we’ll go with baseball cuz of his job with the mariners) rather then law or med school. He played baseball in highschool, getting scholarships to play for a few varsity teams. Only for his parents to push him to go to law school like Siwon, which he reluctantly agrees, figuring he can go in to sports law.

While Nico is in his last year of highschool, early on in the year, he meets this boy who he has a crush on. And they start seeing each other in secret. Until one night Siwon catches them, probably the cliche making out in Nico’s room when his brother barges in and freaks out. He kicks the boy out and tells Nico he needs to stop seeing him. Nico says he will as long as his brother doesn’t tell their parents and Siwon agrees, saying their parents can never find out. But having Siwon react in such a negative way ruins the image Nico had of him. So he decides he doesn’t want to go to law school, he wants to persue baseball mostly in defiance.

His parents hate that idea, and really push for him to still go to law school. He ignores them and does start to persue baseball in his undergrad, taking one of the scholar ships he was offered. He’s incredibly talented so while they aren’t happy, his parents still support him as long as he continues to be one of the best players on his team and maintains his high grades.

In his first year he gets an injury, something that requires surgery to fix. But the surgery goes wrong, and his career in baseball is over before it could ever really start. Despite pushing himself with physio and working as hard as he can to get back to being able to play, it’s just not possible in the time frame he would need for professional sports. He takes it incredibly hard, and while Rowoon is his major support system, his parents and Siwon treat it like a failure. So Nico decides to go to med school, to become an orthopaedic surgeon and make sure no one else has to go through what he did. His parents are ecstatic about the change, and it’s the first time he feels like they’re actually proud of him.

He quickly catches up, becoming top of his classes. He thrives in university, coming out to his friends and he’s genuinely happy.

But he still feels like he has to hide who he is when he’s at home and he hates it. He never has a boyfriend for long, because then he’d have to deal with bringing them home and coming out. It never mattered cuz he hadn’t met anyone he wanted to be with long term. But it’s still a massive part of his identity that he’s hiding from his parents and Rowoon, still scared they’d react in the same way his Siwon did. And while he would probably come out to his parents and risk it, he doesn’t want to loose Rowoon or put him at odds with their parents, especially while he’s still living with them.

So years later when he meets Levi, he doesn’t want to have to hide who he is in the only place he can be open. He’s hypocritical because he thinks Levi doesn’t have as much to loose as Nico and he sees it as wasted opportunity. And Nico doesn’t want to be that highschool boy his brother kicked out of his room all those years ago. He doesn’t want Levi to be ashamed of him like Nico was of that boy, and he doesn’t want the memories of being ashamed of himself and who he was to come back while Levi discovers his own sexuality.

Nico’s never had someone he cares that much about, never wanted to actually bring someone home to meet his parents or his brothers. But then he falls hard for Levi and suddenly it’s turning serious and he doesn’t know what to do about it. So he’s awkward and hypocritical and a pretty terrible boyfriend at times, but he is trying.

Then he accidentally kills a patient. And Siwon is showing up to make sure legally he doesn’t get in trouble. His parents find out through Siwon, and they seem disappointed which only adds to his pain. And Levi being overbearing while Siwon is in town doesn’t help, because he doesn’t want his brother to find out he has a serious relationship with a man. He’s also not good with emotions, or people seeing him when he’s emotional, which is why he pulls away so much.

And then the pandemic happens and he really misses Levi. He knows he’s not emotionally ready to commit to anyone yet, and they aren’t really good for each other at the time. But he figures if he can have Levi in any way he’s going to take it, cuz the world is a mess and he needs some kind of happiness. When Levi basically gives him the ultimatum of serious relationship or nothing, he chooses serious relationship. Because he doesn’t want to loose Levi, and it’s a huge wake up call that he really does care about someone in a way he never had before.

I think Levi pushing Nico away after he opened up to Levi hurt, really bad. Cuz Nico had never let himself be that vulnerable with another person, and he didn’t know how to cope with that. So he gave Levi the space that he wanted when he went through a similar experience. Not really realizing that Levi needed him to be there and to fight for them, until Levi told him. But even though he’s come so far and started to unravel his closed off, emotionless persona adopted by someone who’s parents didn’t let them be a child, Nico knows he can’t give Levi what he wants, not when he’s still dealing with his own internalized homophobia and inability to be honest with himself and his family. He thinks Levi deserves someone who is ready to be all in, and even though he thought he could be, that’s not him, not yet.

Nico saying his default is numb is really telling that he can’t process his feelings right away, he suppresses them. Which would make sense if he’s grown up with critical parents that expect him to be perfect all the time. He wouldn’t know how to deal with failure or rejection, because he’s never had the luxury of doing any of those things. Even loosing his ability to play baseball professionally wouldn’t have been a failure to him, because it led him to being a surgeon which his parents were much happier about. And I think that reflects in his relationships too, that when there’s any kind of conflict he just shuts down, he goes numb. He either gets overly agreeable or he pulls away from the situation entirely. And I think he started to realize that it’s not a healthy coping mechanism after his talk with Levi in the elevator.

So he jumps at the opportunity to leave and work for the Mariners. It’s a dream job, it’s one of the reason he decided to go to med school in the first place, and it gives him and Levi space to figure themselves out. It lets Levi experience different relationships and find himself, while Nico learns to deal with his emotions and not suppress them. But while he’s there, he finds out he hates it. He doesn’t like having to tell these athletes that their careers are over, he doesn’t like feeling like he failed him when there was nothing he could do. It reminds him of when he was going through the exact same thing. Even if his success rate is the highest it’s ever been, he still doesn’t think he’s good enough. Saving fifty patients doesn’t mean anything if there’s even one he can’t.

And then Rowoon finishes his undergraduate and moves out of their parents house. He goes to visit Nico and they have a long talk about what Rowoon wants to do with his career. He decided a long time ago that he wanted to follow in Nico’s footsteps and go in to medicine. And while he’s visiting, he sees that Nico’s background is still a photo of him and Levi, so Rowoon asks if that’s Nico’s boyfriend. And Nico is shocked because he didn’t know Rowoon knew. They have a heart to heart, and Nico realizes he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore. Even if his parents aren’t happy with him, he has his little brother’s love and support, which is all that’s ever really mattered to him anyway. And even if he isn’t perfect, there are still people who will love him.

So he leaves his job and goes back to Grey-Sloan, mostly because he preferred it, but also with the hope that he and Levi can at least be friends again. He wins Levi back, and finally introduces him to Rowoon. And to show Levi he really has changed, that he really is committed to their relationship, he invites Levi to his parent’s for Christmas dinner. It goes over horribly, his dad almost kicks them out and only relents to letting them stay when his mother says they can at least finish dinner, as it’s the holidays. It’s worth it to see the look of horror on Siwon’s face when he says Levi is his boyfriend, and the look of admiration Rowoon gives him when he holds Levi’s hand as they say goodbye.

I think Nico coming back this next season will be him saying I was just trying to give you space, but I always loved you and I will always be here for you when you’re ready. It’s kind of a repeat of the last time they got back together, but I’m hoping it’ll stick this time and they can have their happy ending. If nothing else, I just want them to keep his personality somewhat consistent.

I’ll finish with my Kai vs Nico thing that started it all! We never learn where he went to school, or how old he is. We can guess he’s early 30’s when he’s first introduced (I’m assuming he was on track with the norm, so when he’s introduced, he’s in his fellowship and he’d be 30-31). What we know about Kai (thanks to my best friend who has an incredible memory) is they went to John Hopkins a few years after Amelia. E.R. is only a year older then Alex, which I’m taking to mean their characters are a year apart as well. So we’ll say Nico is 31 when he’s introduced, meaning Kai would be 32.

While they wouldn’t have much overlap if Nico went to med school at John Hopkins while Kai was going for their phd, they could have very well done their undergrad at the same university and that’s where I think the rivalry would have started.

Kai is smart as hell, and I have no doubt they would be top of their classes. I think depending on the class it would go back and forth, but I really do think Kai would be beat Nico more often and he would hate that. It’s a healthy rivalry, there’s no actual animosity. I see them both as fun and sarcastic people, so I think they’d have amazing banter. And someone like Kai being smarter then Nico wouldn’t bother him as much, because they just have this aura that makes them impossible to hate? Even thou Nico is really frustrated that someone scored higher on a test, he wouldn’t really be too hard on himself if it’s Kai that beat him.

Because I can see him being really upset with himself the first time it happens, and he swears it will never happen again. So he pushes himself even harder for the next test and he does beat Kai. And then Kai would give the most relaxed non-reaction, would probably even congratulate him, and Nico wouldn’t know how to process that. He’s be so used to Siwon taking any loss so poorly, that someone being almost happy for him beating them is too foreign for him to comprehend. It would be the first step to Nico relaxing a little bit on his perfect persona, and allowing himself to slip. Which sets him up for when we meet him in the show, he’s a lot more chill and easy going, but still guarded.

This is so long omg, I’ll start to wrap it up!

Flash forward to Nico and Levi dating, and Kai and Amelia dating (no they never broke up in my head, they’re happy and will be for the rest of their lives, it’s fine. But even if they did, they found their way back to each other like Nico and Levi). Every time Kai comes to visit Amelia, they bicker with Nico. And no one knows it’s light hearted except the two of them. It would stress Levi out, thinking Nico was fighting with his mentor’s partner. I like the idea of Levi going in to general surgery, so while Amelia isn’t wouldn’t be the head of his department, she will always be a mentor figure to him and someone he respects.

Flash forward again, Rowoon does follow in Nico’s footsteps and comes to Grey-Sloan for his internship. He starts off thinking he’ll go in to ortho like his brother but quickly finds he gravitates more towards neuro. And then Kai comes to work on a project with Amelia, and they pick Rowoon to help them out. And he loves the research aspect of their project. He starts looking into it more and more. And ultimately decides, with the help of Kai, to switch into neuroscience rather then complete his surgical internship.

Nico is of course devastated that his little brother chose to work with Kai over him. But he’s a good older brother and supports everything Rowoon does, even if it means listening to him talk about how amazing Kai and the research they’re doing is for hours.

That’s all I got. Thank you anon for asking about his backstory and thanks to anyone who read this far! I would love to hear your thoughts on his backstory too, or any general greys thoughts you might have!

#greys anatomy #nico kim #levi schmitt #schmico #long post #like incredibly long #too long and i’m sorry #character backstory #nico lives in my head rent free #i could talk about him for days

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