#i cant really imagine crushing on them anymore but MANS was it wild | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cuddlesslut · 4 years

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Alrighty lets get started!! So i still really new to this so as to not overwhelm my self im going to try and stick to two charcters for now. I’m sorry if its not what your looking for. For the two im going to do my boys Suga and Daichi. Only because i just did Kuroo and because im still trying to figure out how to write for Reon. I might however come back and write a part 2 with them.

Prompt : Boys reacting to their tom boyish crushes all dolled up (Daichi & Suga)

just sayin i wrote this while drinking mojitos

P.S. this prompt reminds me of a series called Sinful Sweethearts by @thosenerdy3amthings so definitely go check that out!!

Warning: NSFW, FOUL LANGUAGE

Daichi Sawamura NSFW

you have know Daichi basically your whole life

growing up next to him your parents were very close which meant that you two were kept close together

in fact until you made it to middle school and started playing volleyball for the girls team you had never had any other friends beside Diachi

so it was safe to say that growing up you were more on the boyish side

you were just more comfortable in sweats and baggy workout shorts than skirts.

you even wore pants to school

even highschool though you went to a different school Diachi stayed your closest friend you often finding yourself at the Karsuno practice after yours had ended.

No matter how much your teammates fussed they couldnt convince you to ditch the large hoodies and sweats.

You and Daichi always supported each other. you never missed his games and he never missed yours (as long as scheduling permited)

the third year boys often teased Diachi for his realtionship with you

“i dont know why yall dont just date already,” suga complained while daichi stated his usual reply “ shes my best friend you know its not like that” he huffs

Suga scowls “ first of all rude im supposed be your best friend, and second it cant be as just friends as you say when you get so protective when the seond years simp for her.”

“i just dont want her feeling weird around the team. you know Noya and Tanaka can be intense,” he explained

“still that doesnt acount for the way Y/N looks at you,” Asahi added to the convo

“what are you talking about Y/n doesnt look at me any special way, we’re just friends ,” daichi stated a little to forcefully almost as if he was convincing himself.

Suga and Asahi share a knowing look thinking about how their captain can be so dense.

“any way are you ready for your birthday party tomorrow night ,” Suga asked smiling brightly.

“i told you i dont need a party,” Daichi scolded for the fifth time today.

“ahh c’mon its not everyday you become an adult like the rest of us DI,”

finally admitiing defeat Diachi concluded the conversation.

...

it was finally the next day you were more nervous for this party than any volleyball game you had played.

and here you were standing in the tight black dress Suga with the help of your team, you should never wager against suga

Had convinced you to wear to diachis party tonight

still shell shocked you stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom Suga had chose.

It was weird to see yourself so girly

the black dress clung tight to your body. leaving little the imagination.

Suga better be glad he won that bet

finally calming yourself you look around for your best friend

Finally catching sight of him Diachi stood with Suga and Asahi next to the bar of the club.

Suga was the first to recognize you a evil smirk hitting his face as he drew Diachis attention to you.

You couldnt help but notice how hot he looked in his button up and dark wash jeans, his shirt clinging so close to his chest.

he looked to damn good you thought as you bit your lip

little did you know the birthday boy was having an epiphany of this own

his eyes raked up and down you mind wandering

had you always had such a great ass under those baggy sweats

“Happy Birthday Captain,” you teased.

Daichi took a sharp breath suddenly taken back by the way the title fell from your soft lips

all he could think about was how you would sound screaming that from under him.

lost in thought he missed the smirk his best friend had as Suga put his pan into motion

you stood there sway to the beat of the loud club music wanting to dance

“Y/n why dont you take the birthday boy for a dance,”

you smiled before Diachi could protest saying how how he doesnt dance

you pulled him to the dance floor pushing your ass against him reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him close to your body as you grinded to the beat

his hands found their place on your hips

his cock twitched from the pressure of your ass in that short tight dress rubbing against his crotch

you were not helping his growing situation

bodies getting lost in the movement

you looked up at the boy had been your best friend your whole life with one thought in you head

the same thought flashed into diachis brain

being bold he crashed his lips into yours

Lost in the contact the kiss lasted forever getting more and more intense

your not sure how you to got here

but here you were straddling Diachi in the back of his car

his lips sucking bruises into your neck, his large grabbing your ass as you bounced on his thick cock

“FUCK,” Daichi breathed heavily pulling you down into a sloppy kiss tongues exploring “ youre so tight come for me beautiful.”

“im so close Captain you moan feeling him stretch you.

thats it that one word flipped the switch for him he gripped tight on to your waist to hold you secure as he powerfully drilled his hips up into you.

hitting your spot deeper and with such accuracy you were both driven over the edge as you clinched tight around him pulling his release from him.

you both sat out of breath in the hot car, the widows fogged and the smell of sex stinging the air.

“happy birthday,” you said giving him a quick kiss.

he glanced at the watch on his wrist

he smirked up to you “you know my birthday isnt over yet,” you smiled already liking where this was going. “lets head back to mine. I’m not done with you yet.”

Koshi Sugawara Slight NSFW

He’s had a crush for you since the beginning of the school year

He thought you were the most adorable thing he’d seen

with your sweaters that were two sizes to big. (sweater paws)

You two became friends through a writing project.

you too quickly hit it off you loving his wild humor

its sometimes seemed like hed flirt with you but you figured it was just his personality and you were too shy to do anything

poor suga spent so much time flirting with you but you never paid it any attention so he figured you didnt view him that way and he was okay with that he just wanted to be your friend if nothing else.

and so thats how six months went by of being no more than friends

always returning Sugas simple firsts with a shy smile.

It wasnt until the celebratory party some random third year threw to congratulate the boys on making it to nationals

You sat at your best friend Kyioko’s house.

This was the first party she was able to convince you to attend and she was making sure it counted.

there would be no big sweaters or jeans tonight

tonight you were borrowing Kyiokos clothes.

She dressed in a tight (favorite color) lace halter crop top with the lace exposing just the right amount of cleavage. and a pair of blaack shorts hugging your hips thighs on full display.

it wasnt what you were used to this being the most skin you had exposed to the public in years

thats coupled with the make up added to your face you almost didnt recognize yourself

it wasnt what you were used to and thats why when you reached the party and all eyes landed on you. you were slightly relieved that most of the people didnt recognize you.

it was almost exhilarating

kind of like playing pretend.

like tonight you werent Y/N shy and closed off

you were a sexy and confident woman

that coupled with the shots you took with Kyioko. you found your new confidence

thats why when you saw you long time crush and close friend Suga across the room you didnt hesitate to make your way over.

“No way is that Y/n” Daichi gasped causing Sugas attention to slip to where his best friend motioned. “wow i didnt expect to see her here,” Diachi let out with a low whistle.

Suga sucked in a sharp breath not prepared for the sight in front of him.

There you were making you way towards him throw the crowd. a smile on your face but it was hard for suga to focus on that smile when your whole body was on display for him.

His eyes trailed from down your figure taking all of the exposed skin that was normally hidden from him.

the way the lace framed your stomach and cupped your breast. the cut into shirt showing him the most cleavage you had ever shown. moving his eyes down it was hard for him not to whimper at the site of your thighs

this man was entranced in your appearance. hed always thought you were the most beautiful even when you were covered head to toe, but seeing you like this it was hard not to drool.

And he wasnt the only one, Several guys had taken notice of you.

Some stopping you to ask if you were new, cause there was no way’d theyd miss a hot babe like you at school.

to which youd just roll your eyes keeping on your way to your target.

feeling more and more emboldened by the attention you were receiving.

but these boys werent the ones you wanted

being the light weight you are you already had your eyes on your prize

go big or go home

so you you strode right up to the vice captain

“ W- wow Y/n you look great,” Suga stuttered

“thanks Suga,” you say placing your hand on his toned forearm

No turning back now the confidence was here to stay atleast for now

Suga took a deep breath as he took a turn being the shy one. not used to the aura you exuded. were you really the shy girl he knew.

you moved closer enveloping him in a tight embrace

he could feel you tits press tight against him and he was trying not to focus on it not wanting to further anymore of the dirty thoughts crossing his mind

staying close next to Suga you continued your flirtatious assault

dishing back all the flirts you had held back over the months

Finally the straw broke when one of your favorite club songs played through the crowed house and you pulled him close to dance with you.

“c’mon Koshi dont be so timid,” you teased.

Suga wasnt sure if it was hearing his given name grace your beautiful lips or the facts that you had pressed your ass against his crotch moving seductively to the music but he snapped.

Suga placed his hands tight to your hips pulling you closer to him not caring if you felt the growing bulge in his pants.

leaning down “you know if you wanted my attention you didnt have to dress so damn sexy. now i have to deal with all these vultures looking at you,” he whispered his breath hot on your ear.

you turned around wrapping your arms around his neck leaning even closer,

“then why dont we go somewhere private then we wont have to worry about who’s looking,” you smirked heart racing

“i couldnt have said it better,” Suga said leading you out of the busy room ready to have you to himself.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Sorry It took so long to write all my work got deleted and I had to start over! I hope you enjoy it 🍵 Anon!!! 💕💕 @🍵anon

Taglist: @emiyummy @insomniish

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hq #daichi x reader #diachi sawamura #diachi head cannons #sugawara x reader #suga headcanons #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koshi #haikyuu smut #haikyuu headcanons #🍵 anon

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getallemeralds · 3 years

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explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

#leo chirps #ttrpg #explorers of arvus #OKAY WE'RE CAUGHT UP NOW sorry abt that lmao

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dontyouhearmehowling · 4 years

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oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

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newtsshelbys · 5 years

Text

Left Behind | Calum Hood

Pairing: College!Calum x College!Reader

Summary: As you got lost in the crowd of concert, you bump into a boy, you’re kinda familar with and from there on you are kind of forced to spend the rest of the evening with him and his friends.

Word cound: 3.9k

Warnings: drinking and that’s about it, ig

a/n: I had this in my drafts for a while now and felt like finishing it. It’s my first 5sos related imagine. It’s a little bit cheesy and turned out fluffy. Remember, feedback and criticism is highly appreciated. Enjoy!

The music was blasting through the speakers, flashing a wave of energy through your body you didn’t even know you had left in you anymore. You were standing for about four hours now and usually you’d be totally exhausted by now but the adrenaline that was currently streaming through your body made you forget about your tired legs.

As the next hook was about to drop the people around you opened a big hole in the crowd and everyone was ready to jump in. You weren't usually the type to join mosh pits because they always got so chaotic and sometimes you were seriously worried about getting hurt. But right now, at the moment, you didn’t care. You took a glance to your left to find your two best friends nodding at you, signalizing you that they were about to join the chaos as well. You smiled one more time to yourself, enjoying yourself before the beat dropped and every one jumped into that mosh pit, including you.

It was over faster than you would have thought. At that moment, you were completely carefree and the music owned your body. You were jumping, screaming and dancing, like every body around you. At some point someone stepped on your foot and it stung for a second, but you got over it fast as the act that was currently putting on a live show, started to rap their second verse of the song. The crowd calmed down a little and most people were facing the stage again.

You turned around to check if your friends were alright. But as you turned, you couldn’t make out one of the two familiar faces that belonged to your best friends. You started to look around, starting to ignore the loud bass, the cheering crowd and the flickering lights around you, as worry started to build inside of you. You couldn’t see them anywhere. You got your phone out to check if they already texted you but you had no new messages. You tried to call them with little hope and also no success. You lost your friends.

You thought about leaving the hall and just wait until the concert is over to meet with them outside afterwards, since you knew you couldn’t enjoy the concert anymore anyways. Not like this. You turned around to leave, as you bumped into someone.

You quickly apologized and moved past them, until, you heard them calling your name.

“Y/N?” they shouted after you. You knew that voice so, you turned around again.

“Calum?” you guessed making your way over to the familiar stature of the young man.

As you got closer you could make out his features and it really was Calum, standing there in front of you.

“It really is you! What are you doing here?” he smiled, taking you in for a short hug.

This took you by surprise. You didn’t know Calum too well. You weren’t even sure if you’d consider him your friend. But it also seemed like he was pretty hammered. But you had to chuckle at his question. What were you probably doing at a concert?

Calum was one of your classmates. And that was about it. At least that’s what you think, how he’d explain the relationship between you two. On your side, the thing was a little bit more complicated. It all started out about one and half years ago, since you started collage. You figured out fast that you had almost all your classes with the curly haired boy. At the beginning, he was just one of the guys you went to school with. Nothing more, nothing less. But over these one and a half years, you developed a crush on him. And you hated yourself for it.

You mostly knew him from little group projects you had to do in class. Either only the two of you or in a bigger group, but you started to notice, that you liked spending time with him. Even if it was only for school related stuff. The two of you even started to talk more once during these one and a half years but that died down quickly with him telling you how he was about to hit up another girl. He didn’t hurt you with stuff like that, it was just a bit frustrating sometimes.

You were likely to not tell your crushes about the feelings or liking you held towards them. For some reason you were always just too scared of rejections and you always thought it would probably be really awkward between the two of you if you’d have ever told him. You also didn’t want for him to have this kind of power over you. You imagined plenty of times the pity full look he’d have on his face, while telling you that you were sweet, but he didn’t return your feelings. And the thought about that always managed to send a cold shiver down your spine and it maybe still kind of hurt you in some way. Even tough you would never admit that to yourself.

So, you managed to live with the fact that he was just a silly crush you had and that you’d get over it at some point, which leaded you to the situation you were currently in. Still, not over him and him treating you like one of his mates. And the thing that all of his three mates from school were kind of your friends as well didn’t help at all. Sometimes you even did hang out together. You liked his friends and you always wondered why your relationship with him can’t be as uncomplicated as the friendships with the rest of his gang was. If you’re with them, you always get a laugh out of each other. It also wasn’t that bad if you were with him and his friends because they kind of distracted you from his cute curls, muscular arms and contagious laugh, which you loved to hear. You also loved when his lips where formed into a smile that took over his whole face.

And now you were standing there, worried about your friends, a little bit drunk, bumping into that one person you didn’t really expect to bump into. Plus, you didn’t really have the nerves right now to deal with the mess you called your feelings.

“What do you think I’m doing here? Same as you, dummy.” you replied, trying to put a smile on your face and ignoring the anxious feeling that were currently creeping up.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” he smiled, biting his lip and looking down at you.

“Yeah. But, ehm” your voice sounded more concerned this time as you tried to form your sentence, “You didn’t per chance saw my friends around?”

You turned on your phone as you wanted to show him a picture of them as you realized his head was already turned to the front again, not listening to anything you just said. As it wasn’t hard enough to communicate in all that screaming that was going on, anyways.

“Calum!” you called for his attention.

He turned to you, a drunken smile on his face. You showed him the picture of you and your friends.

“Have you seen them?” you shouted over the crowd that was currently going wild.

“Them? No, sorry. But she’s hot!” he grinned, pointing at your phone.

Well, that didn’t really help, but thanks for your input, Calum. You rolled your eyes at him. It wasn’t like you were already in a shitty situation.

“I’m gonna leave. Have fun.” you screamed over the music.

As you were about to turn your back at the tall boy, he called out for you again.

“Y/N, wait!”

He called you again so, you turned around again.

“You really wanna miss the rest of the concert?” he asked like he’d genuinely care, “We can still go and search for your friends after and you can stay with us if you want”.

His offer took you by surprise, the second time this evening. But the suggestion was really tempting, since you really liked the act that was currently playing and you were excited for this concert for about half a year now. So, you decided to quickly text your friends, that they don’t need to worry about you and that you found someone you knew and could stay with for the rest of the concert. You said you were sorry and that you could meet outside after. Putting your phone back in your pocket you turned back to Calum, who was loudly singing along, knowing all the lyrics.

“You know what, yeah, why not.” you smiled up at him, receiving a smile from him as well which made you a little bit week in your knees, but as usual, you ignored it.

As the evening was going on, you caught yourself enjoying yourself more and more. Calum had also friends with him. The only one you knew was a boy called Ashton. You had also some classes with him, and he was one of Calum's closest friends, as far as you knew. But there was another guy you have never seen before. He introduced himself as Dylan. At some point you even found yourself grounding your body against his, not spending one single though on Calum.

The main thing why you keep hiding your feelings for Calum, was because if he rejected you, you still had to face him every day and with that you’d be reminded of the embarrassment. But like this, with a guy you’d probably never see again or only if you wanted, it was easy.

Even though you had fun with him, you knew what he was after. You didn’t really have much experience on the dating front, but you weren’t blind. And it actually felt really good to be admired by someone. It gave you the feeling on having power, which was quite the opposite of how you felt almost everyday around your long-time-crush, namely insecure. So, you enjoyed every second of it.

As the concert was over, you almost forgot about your friends. But as soon as you were outside, you heard your phone ring. Just then you saw that you had twelve missed calls.

“Shit.” you mumbled to yourself, picking up your phone.

“Y/N? Where the hell were you?” your one friend was asking you, worry clear audible in her voice.

“I met some friends form school, I texted you guys.” you tried to explain.

Within the conversation with your friends, Dylan asked you for your tag to go and get your jacket for you. While your friend was telling you something, you searched for your tag, found it and handed it to Dylan, mumbling a quiet, “thank you”.

“Did you hear anything of what I just said?” your friend hissed at you.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” with your free hand you held your other ear closed, since it was still kinda crowded and with that comes the noise around you.

“We are already on our way home, Y/N.” sighed your friend.

“What? You did leave without me?” you started to ramble. Worry was building inside of you for the second time this evening on the thought of how to get home all by yourself. It was a good one and a half hour car ride until you were back home.

“Melissa got sick, she threw up on the toilets and I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol. I decided to bring her home, I tried to call you but you weren’t picking up.” she started to explain, you could hear out of the way her voice sounded, that she was sorry, “I even searched for you in the crowd for fifteen minutes but couldn’t find you anywhere and Melissa could barely stand, I had to do something.”

“So, you decided to leave without me?!” you hissed at her, genuinely pissed that your friends left you behind like this.

“What should I have done, huh. Tell me. Should I have let her practically die outside and come back to party with you?” she said sarcastically.

“No, of course not.” you rubbed your forehead, trying to figure out on how to get home yourself.

“Also, where is the problem, why can’t you go home with your friends form school?”

“It’s not that easy, V.” you tried to explain but couldn’t find any words on how to.

No one knew about your crush on Calum, since telling someone would make it become real. Without anyone knowing you could still tell yourself that your feelings not there or that they will go away in a magical way at some point.

“Well, it has to be that easy, Y/N. Except you wanna go home all by yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.”

As you took a look in the direction the boys left to get their and also your jacket you saw them walking towards you.

“I gotta go, V.” you cut her off, “Call me if your home safe, alright. Oh and you owe me.”

“Sure, same goes for you” she hung up, leaving you alone with Calum, Ashton and Dylan.

Last named just handed you your jacket, “There you go.”

“Thank you.” you smiled at him.

“Yo, Y/N” Calum begun, pulling your attention at him, “Where are your friends?”

All the boys were looking at you, waiting for an answer.

“Well, they already left.” you admitted to them, “is there a chance that the three of you have an empty seat in your car for someone like me.”

“I’m sure we can squeeze you in there, Y/N.”, Ashton chuckles as he put an arm around your shoulder.

“Thank you guys so much, really”, you thanked them, relieve washing over you, but you were still a little on edge because of the two men that were walking behind you and Ashton, “You really are my saviors.”

Next thing you knew, you were 60 dollars poorer and walking through a shabby train compartment looking for an opportunity to sit. Your legs were tired as hell. You finally got to feel that, since there is no adrenaline left in your body.

As you found a part in the train where the four of you could sit together, Ashton claimed it really fast as theirs.

“Didn’t I say we could squeeze you in?”, he grinned. A grin you’d like to punch out of his stupid face.

You didn’t even mind traveling by train. It was just that you were really exhausted. Plus, the short walk through the cold and fresh, night spring air, managed to get you sober again. So, now you were trapped in that train, with your dumb crush, a guy that still hope to get you laid tonight and an Ashton that didn’t seem to shut up and the saddest thing, you weren’t even drunk anymore.

The train wasn’t even running for ten minutes until you fell asleep leaning against the train window.

“Yo, this girl is fire and I’m so gonna get it tonight, guys”, Dylan cheered.

But he seemed to be the only one to find it funny how he was messing with a girl that couldn’t defend herself at the moment, because she was fast asleep.

Ashton only commented with, “If you say so.” And he was quick on looking back at his phone. And Calum, he was sending a death glare Dylan’s way. He hated how he talked about you and the fact that you couldn’t defend yourself, made him feel like he had to.

Calum didn’t really like the game that Dylan and you were playing the whole evening, anyways. As he spotted you on the dance floor in the middle of the crowd earlier this evening, he had to smile to himself. For some odd reason, it filled him with joy, watching you having a good time. But as soon as he spotted Dylan behind you, his smile was fast to be replaced with a frown. That should be him, dancing and laughing with you, he thought. But he probably must have messed up at some point of the evening. Why would you prefer to dance with stranger than with your friend Ashton or more specific him?

“Man, I need to take a piss.” Dylan suddenly said out of the blue, making Ashton getting up and joining him.

As Ashton already left to get in another compartment where the toilet was, Calum held Dylan back by his arm.

“Stop it, man.” he warned, glancing at him to make clear what he’s talking about.

“Why? You like her?” Dylan raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“N- No. It’s just… she has a boyfriend, man” he lied.

“Alright, man”, Dylan put his hands up in defense and left for the toilets.

Shortly after Dylan disappeared, following after Ashton.

“Why did you tell him I have a boyfriend?”, you suddenly spoke up.

Calum jumped at your words, since he expected you to be asleep. Suddenly he found himself in a position where he had to explain himself.

“Dylan just isn’t one of the nice guys” he explained quietly with his head down, not looking at you.

You didn’t know where you got the sudden push of confidence as you placed your head on his shoulder and tried to get some more sleep since you had another 30 minutes in the train ahead of you. Also, you weren’t really to keen on having a conversation with Dylan at this point.

Calum’s heart skipped a beat at your sudden move. But at the same time, it feels so natural for you to be close to him and sleeping peacefully. Its kind of calmed Calum down at the same time as it brought, for him, confusing feelings about you up, which he tried to push down for the whole evening now.

“Boyfriend, huh”, Calum heard Dylan say as he spotted you asleep on his shoulders.

As you were at the end station and you had to get out, Calum tried to wake you up softly. He gently shook you at your shoulders.

“We’re here, Y/N. Time to get out” he whispered softly.

As you opened your eyes and looked up at him you had to quickly orientate yourself. As it all came crushing down to you, you took your head off Calum’s shoulder, leaving him instantly missing it. You didn’t know why you got so close to him, but it confused you beyond believe. Why didn’t he reject you as you put your head on his shoulder?

As Dylan, Ashton and actually also Calum were meant to say their goodbyes, because you had another twenty-minute train ride ahead of you until you were home, but the rest of the boys were living in the city, you hugged Dylan and Ashton wishing them a good night. As you were supposed to say bye to Calum, you didn’t know what to do. Hug him? Shake his hand? Wave at him? You heard Calum speak up.

“I’m gonna come with you.”

“What?” your mind took a few seconds to process what he had just told you, “No, Calum, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine, I swear.” You assured him, since bringing you home would take him another hour to get home himself.

“But I want to.” he admitted, glancing at you with a soft smile covering his lips. His looks made you go week in your knees.

“We’ll leave you to it, lovebirds. Goodnight.” Dylan and Ashton said their goodbyes one last time, turning on their heels and walking into the opposite direction of where you were standing.

“Why?” you asked, your voice almost inaudible.

“Because.” was the only explanation you were getting out of him.

You decided to not further protest and just let him bring you home. For whatever reason he was doing it.

Your second train ride was manly quiet and filled with silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, thought, like you had expected it to be. You didn’t know what it was but something changed between the two of you. As you were looking out of the window, making out the few little lights of people’s houses, where they were still awake, probably watching TV and watching the sky, where you could make out a few little stars, since it was cloudy that evening, you could feel Calum's glare at you. It practically burned itself into your skin. It felt like if he would dare to look away from your slightly blushed cheeks, curvy eyelashes and at the way your nose was shaped, he’d die in an instant.

From time to time you send him a glance yourself, allowing your eyes to meet. You couldn’t hold the glare long, though, the butterflies in your stomach getting the best of you. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel insecure around you anymore. You felt safe.

As you got out of the train, Calum insisted on walking you home as well. Even though you though it was too much, since he must be tired himself, he didn’t accept a no.

“You enjoyed the concert?” he suddenly asked out of the blue, his eyes meeting the concrete walkway underneath him. It almost felt as he was getting all shy on you all of a sudden.

“Yeah, except that I lost my friends, and they also went home without me, it was great!” you stated, making your voice sound sarcastic.

“Wasn’t that bad after all in my opinion.” Calum commented, sounding sincere.

“No. No, it wasn’t.” you admitted. A small smile was forming on your face at the thought of how your evening went down since you lost your friends. It was definitely something you were expecting form yourself but it was fun. You told yourself to do stuff like that more often, without the part of losing your friends.

As you were standing in front of your door, the mood was tense. You didn’t know how to thank Calum properly for accompany you this far.

“I had fun tonight, Y/N.”, Calum admitted, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, me too.”

Last thing you knew after a few long seconds of silence, was Calum starring at your lips before his were directly connected with yours. It wasn’t like you weren’t already surprised enough about how this evening turned out, this action tops it all.

As you were over the first shock, you kissed him back. It was an innocent but still a pure kiss. And you didn’t want it to end. All the weeks, even moths of admiring this boy from the far and now he was kissing you. At that moment nothing seemed important, except for the two of you standing there. The thought of Dylan vanished your mind a long time ago and was replaced with Calum and Calum only.

As the two of you broke apart, Calum was the first one to say something.

“Tell me, Y/N. Why are we doing this only now?”

You pressed your forehead against his, smiling. At this moment you felt nothing but happiness. It was a feeling you haven’t witnessed this strong in quite a while.

“I don’t think you have a train back to the city until five in the morning.” you informed him, slightly giggling, “Wanna stay over?”

“I’d appreciate that.”

You opened your front door, stepping inside.

“You’re sleeping on the floor, though.”

#5sos imagine #5sos one shot #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer fan fiction #5 seconds of summer one shot #calum hood #calum hood imagine #Calum Hood one shot #Calum Hood x reader #Ashton Irwin #Ashton Irwin imagine #calum x reader #5sos Calum #Cashton #Calum 5sos #cool guy cal #5sos #this turned out hella cheesy im sorry #college!calum

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isa-ah · 6 years

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i finally finally drew my linksona lol. for the sake of distinguishing him his nickname is freckle, and hes sad and tired.

he grew up in hateno as a farmhand and after his disappearance his house was eventually marked to be torn down (lol). he misses his friends and takes it really poorly when he realizes p much everyone died, but bottles that all up and stuffs it down.

he feels most at peace when hes sharing a campfire w someone else in the ruins and wastelands of hyrule. he likes listening to their stories, and having a companion to help dissuade the ptsd-riddled hallucinations he tends to have when hes alone at night. (is it really a monster stocking him? does he really hear that, see that? he doesnt know anymore.) even once hes reacquired his home, hes more comfortable sitting by his campfire outside with his horse, honeydew, nearby to share the peace. walls and a roof overhead draw out a curious claustrophobia in him he doesnt remember having before.

he does his best to save his friends while artfully picking around making any new ones. he makes acquaintances, but rarely does he run into the same person twice, more or less by design. hes nonverbal and his communication is lacking but he gets by. his expressions can say a lot when he dredges them up, and what he cant convey with gestures and his face alone, he can turn to his shiekah slate to get across.

his camera is almost always inhand while he travels, stuffing his compendium full of pictures and entries. its one of the few things that brings him joy. likewise archery is something he enjoys, picking off monsters at a distance or hunting wild game for food. the higher grade bows are something hes willing to go out of his way for, and hes rarely if ever caught without one.

though his main driver is somewhere between survivors guilt and duty, he finds himself dancing around actually tracking down his sword. he knows once he has it his path will be clear and he’s afraid of the unknown, and of what will happen after ganon is released for the fight. if he fails again, there wont be anyone to save him this time- or anyone else, for that matter. letting everyone down again is the worst fate he can imagine. he considers the calamity something he could have worked harder to prevent one hundred years ago, and being so personal, its difficult for him to operate on a day to day basis.

his relationship with zelda started out rocky and he, unadmittedly, had a bit of a crush on the king before he really took to heart how he was treating his daughter. while understandable, it was unpalatable and he took her side and got over it (until a mysterious old man helps him out of his slumber... lol). he swims in the doublet he got from the old man, but he treasures it as it brings him comfort in a world of ruin and fear.

once he and zelda began to get along they were inseparable. the two would work hard, every day, trying to prepare for the calamity- zelda was more prone to falling asleep than he was, given her prayer and devotionals, but that didnt stop the both of them being found in odd places all over the castle passed out from their duties. she taught him a lot about the prophecies and legends, and in turn he taught her little things hed learned back home; how to better get along with her horse, for instance. the two of them were as thick as thieves, and he didnt hesitate to fight until his last breath for his best and closest friend.

#botw #linksona #freckle #hes a mess but hes trying

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lupodefae-blog · 7 years

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PART I.

So I'm writing this simply because yesterday I talked to someone I have a very serious interest in and after a few minutes into the conversation they said that I haven't really shared much about me. That they didn’t even know I'm from New York and not from here. So I'm writing this at 9:50 because I guess I don’t really reveal much to anyone about me. So what better way to reveal all then to just write??? I don’t know… well might as well start My name is Benigno Agosto III, ya I'm the third. My father and grandfather being the first and junior, but more on them later I suppose. I was born in Manhattan, New York but memories of it at my younger age are pretty fuzzy. My mother is Katie and I get everything from here xD minus the skin tone. My father is Benigno Agosto jr. i… honestly don’t know much about him what so ever. All I know and remember is he is a very abusive man and alcoholic. Which was kind of my reasoning to act certain ways when I was younger and how I cat now sort of. We left NY when I was very young but came by it every now and then just for the trips sake. I met my father one time in my life and called him twice. When I called him I was 8 and I simply said 'hi I am your son' to which he didn’t even remember me, saying I'm not his son. So that was great as one could imagine. I met him when I was 13 and he showed no excitement, no emotion toward a crying kid hugging his dad for the first time. So that was fun as well. Then I called him one last time when I was 20 to tell him how I was, he was doing okay and we chatted for a bit. It was okay I guess. But he wanted me to call him dad, which I refused and explained I couldn’t give a man that title who out right abandoned his son and never gave so much as a happy birthday for his whole life. I feel no resentment anymore, when I was younger that’s all I had but no longer. I have 2 sisters on that side of my family and they are both pretty nice, I see my mouth and attitude comes from that side as well, blessings and curses I suppose xD When I was in the beginning stages of school I guess when my creativity came up, I really liked to draw, I liked singing and pretend to be a knight (which I came dressed to school as when asked to come as what I wanted to be when I was older) I had one friend named Huy. Now Huy was what I wanted to be like because he was SUPER cool and drew REALLY WELL. Like he was drawing DBZ characters in 5 minutes when I was drawing weird trees and little animals in hours and they weren't even good. But he told me to keep trying and I did, my teacher Mrs.Cashmen was my teacher and fully supported me and my like of art and me wanting to be better at it. She saw me as sweet and kind, even though I was super quiet (those who know me now yeah, I was EXTEREMLY QUIET) but other then them it was like I was against everyone… like everyone had something against me so I got into a lot of fights that no one even knew about. Around 3-4 grade, cant remember too well because it was just so long ago I had a major crush on one girl named Sarah. I didn’t know what to do, but I thought a good way to get girls was to be what dad was (bad idea) so I stole her Gameboy thinking if I did I could help her look for it and get her to keep talking to me. Eventually I just felt really mean and shitty and just told her the truth. We stopped talking after that obviously which really sucked. Around this time I was still getting into fights, but I had more friends. I saw Mrs. Cashmen from time to time and she always made me feel better. Huy went to another school from what I recall. But like I said I had friends who talked to me. At this point I gave up on art from the amount of comments about how I sucked and how I wasn’t good, so did the thoughts of being a comedian, and actor, and anything involving art really. I got into more fights, but this time for friends instead of them on me. Because I wanted someone to be there for me, so I thought it would be the same for others. unfortunately a kid proved that somewhat wrong when he and His friends jumped me after school for… w.e. reason. From there I got even more distant and to myself. Around that time suicidal thoughts came into play. Wanted to take pills but I didn’t know what would do anything, I wanted to cut myself but I was too scared of having to feel myself bleed out, I wanted to shoot myself but had no way to a freakin gun. Eventually I attempted to jump off my schools balcony on a Wednesday, I was gonna jump but a my gym teacher came and stopped me, I wish I remembered his name because I really appreciate his words. He just told me about how sad everyone would be if I did do it, family and friends, my mom who lost her brother to suicide. So instead of jumping I got taken to the hospital and had an evaluation right after. I lied and said I was okay but I really I didn’t wanna go away somewhere without my mom, because in that time that’s all I really had. After the event I didn’t make big attempts on my life, instead I just drew, wrote and though about what I would do if I could. All the negative thoughts kind of put me in a weird circle of thinking of myself. That if I don’t hate myself everyone will and keep hurting me, if I didn’t hate myself I wouldn’t get anywhere. If I'm breathing I need a find a way to stop so everyone will just leave me alone… but those were inner thoughts. After around grade 5 or 6 I lost all fucks and just got into fights left and right, and fought back really hard. Suspensions and held back one time for the amount of damage I did to one kid, but never once did I start the fights. I met Cristopher and a few others from my early days. They showed me how to be really happy and helped me get back into art and expression and I got a bit better after that. Crushes became relationships, relationships broke down and I got super sad and hard on myself, then they came to help me get better. I guess those were the better years I guess. High school came!! Well fuck, honestly I didn’t think I would really get that far. Thought id be gone before that. But here I was. I saw a girl who was literally my biggest crush in life like I even took the theater class I was in at the time all because she was going to take it too. Very bad I know but that was my thought process at the time xD I was so bad at flirting and my looks weren't as good as they are now (truly was an ugly duckling) messed that one super bad because I just looked weird and stuff. Had a crush on a new girl who was there only for a few weeks and had to go back to Florida after, but we had a relationship for a bit. We did some stuff I never did before most in a sexual context but nothing crazy. I thought id lose her if I didn’t play to her interests, so I played along with the sexual things so I wouldn’t lose her, I lied about being an awesome graphic designer and got caught lying about that and tried to walk around it all and that kind of lead to a break up. Well earned on my end. But she's doing great which I'm very happy to hear. Lots of relationships from that time and lots of break ups, where I was at fault, they were at fault, it was both parties, and some times there weren't many reasons why it just ended. All around honestly it was fun when it was fun and sucked bad when it sucked. All around alright experience College came and I guess at that time is where I came to be the me a lot of you have met and enjoy the most, so I guess I can ramble about stuff in life between all of the times xD I wanted to be a knight, but no one is being kidnapped and taken to castles anymore and no dragons were around to fight so I scrapped that at a young age. I then wanted to be a comedian and actor and performer, then I was told I sucked and I wasn’t funny. But now I am funny as fuck so to those who told me I sucked can suck it now! Bitches!... Ahem, now then. I wanted to be a vet after that because I loved animals, but I hate school just as much as I love them sooooo that went out the window. Now I'm in school trying to get a degree in Law and Psychology, mostly because I want to be a councilor, because I wanna help people who didn’t get the people I did… because everyone really needs SOMEBODY there. I love dogs, I like comedy and horror movies, even though I scream and freak out I still love the rush of horror, I like sitting at home and just relaxing, I enjoy my friends and hanging outside and going out because I didn’t get to any of that till college really. I like sweets, love chocolate but it makes me break out (what a sad life I live) but I eat that shit anyway because fuck it. I like working out even though I'm not super big yet. I like acting and wanna be a voice actor for fun and maybe be in a game or two xD I hate cats because they are the bane of my existence and they hate me. If its kittens then we can have a nice middle ground. I hate dolls because of my Chucky and a few Spanish movies involving dolls, if you ever give me on I will kick the shit out of it and kick the shit out of you simply because you gave it to me. I hate spicy foods, I cant take the heat, but id try it if you truly wanted me to. I dislike seafood, the texture just feels off, but I can eat sushi!!! Mostly because of the other stuff with it. I hate people who abuse others and hate those who hit women, and if I catch that shit anywhere I have been known to jump in that shit and stop it… even though chances are I will get in a shit ton of trouble or get beat I will do it anyway. I right now wanna start a business but I don’t wanna tell anyone about it because I'm afraid someone will do it before me and I cant risk that, because this business plan is one of the only motivations I have right now. I am called a flirt when truly I just enjoy complimenting people and knowing they are happy and see something good in them, not to gain anything out of it. I have the outward appearance of someone who might model, write awesome stuff, take wild adventures and live a great life with woman and money But I am a nerd in a handsome body xD I play dungeons and dragons, video games, and honesty am super shy despite the mask I wear that shows me being so super out there and up in crowds. I play guitar and don’t think I'm too good at it, I write a lot of poetry and stories… but I hate what I wrote. I take selfies and pictures of things but I hate what I capture on cameras at times. I am a guy who shows so much confidence but really has very little views on himse

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked �� Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

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potahun · 7 years

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Shiro and the “Alternate Realities Loop” Theory

It’s not really a theory, more like, a fun idea/headcanon option that’s been trotting in my head because of Slav and his obsession with alternate realities... But basically, the idea is that at the end of season 2, Shiro gets stuck in an ‘alternate realities loop’, so that in season 3 we get to see the space dad travelling across every single AU you can possibly imagine, in the hope that the next one will be his own. And in each reality he meets the rest of the squad, of course, but he’s the only one to know that he’s from an alternate universe.

SO YEAH BASICALLY SHIRO DOES AN AU CRAWL INSTEAD OF A PUB CRAWL and these were some au ideas i had so far (absolutely non-exhaustive):

Space Kindergarden AU: Shiro teaches in this space kindergarden owned by Allura, in which classes are colour-coded, and he is the teacher of the Black class. Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are all ‘students’ in the Black class and absolutely adore him, while Zarkon is another kindergarden teacher who is very scary to the kids and is determined to claim back ‘what is rightfully his’ by becoming the teacher of the Black class again (he got kicked out by Allura because the kids hated him). The tension is palpable and stakes are high. The children’s happiness is in Shiro’s hands.

Gay bar manager AU: In which Shiro is the manager of a gay bar, Allura inherited the gay bar from her father, Coran is the co-manager who ends up drunk on the stage way too often, Hunk and Pidge are kick-ass bartenders, and Keith and Lance are a pair of fabulous performers who are hired on a fixed-term contract by the bar and drive the crowds crazy every night (they have different styles). Also, Hunk might be Lance’s biggest fan.

Bank hijacking + hostages AU: Illustrated here. Basically an AU where Keith and Lance are bank robbers and have taken Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro as civilian hostages in their car. Shiro ‘wakes up’ in a wild car chase in the desert with Allura and Coran (as part of the police force) trying to save him, Pidge, and Hunk. Chaos ensues

Grave robbery AU: All 7 of them are professionals in this line of work and have discovered a really fishy tomb that is (1) particularly tricky to enter (2) hiding something that they are determined to get. They’ve entered the tomb already, but Shiro is the one who’s meant to know the whole strategy as well as the best techniques, except he doesn’t anymore because this isn’t his usual universe/reality so he’s just ???????? ????? while the rest of his team are yelling at him to get them to the right place. In the meantime, Zarkon’s another grave robbing expert who’s entered the tomb after them and is determined to beat them to the chase, and to kill them if necessary. lots of action and tension and stress and Shiro really needs a break

Summer camp AU: A fluffy AU. They’ve all got colour-coded groups to watch over. Shiro finally gets to roast marshmallows over a camp fire and have a break.

Travel agency AU: Shiro ‘wakes up’ to himself arriving into an office where the paladin squad is waiting for him. ‘Welcome back from your vacation, man’ - Hunk tells him, but looks about to cry. Turns out he’s the head of a small travel agency and all hell has broken loose in his absence. Lance keeps wanting to send people to wild party places in big cities (even when the client is like 80 years old); Keith keeps wanting to send people to nature-heavy destinations requiring intensive physical activities (even when the client is like 80 year old) and they argue over who's right all the time. Hunk is the accountant and is reporting astronomical deficits. Pidge takes care of communication and PR but she sounds sarcastic and sassy about everything and Shiro has no idea how to save them from this disaster

Space war AU: This can happen towards the end, like right before Keith and the others manage to get him back to his own reality, but it would be a sad AU of sorts, in which they are all fighting in this gigantic space war, and everything is awful. Keith gets badly injured trying to save him. They lose Hunk. Pidge is close to breaking down even though she tries not to show it. Lance dies in front of Shiro’s eyes, and by this time, Shiro is used to the AU loop, but as much as he knows he’ll be out of this universe soon, he just fucking cant take it anymore and he misses everyone so much that when he finally goes back, he hugs each and every one of them hard enough to crush their bones, and they all kind of go ????? before hugging back

Yes anyways the possibilities are endless, and this is not even the tip of the iceberg. I just really want to see Shiro do that AU crawl.

#shiro #voltron season 2 #voltron #voltron au #takashi shirogane #vld squad #pls feel free to jump in on this and add aus if this speaks to you in any way #shiro's au crawl

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

Text

dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more.

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya.

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else.

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah.

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds.... ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other.

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks)

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!) anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until. yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...) ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world” ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess)

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade.

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh.

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.)

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me) but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that....

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that.

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it- idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk.

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first) i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” )

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it.

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is?

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.

#tf when youre your own therapist #hah yeah thanks tumblr for being my digital diary #cringey enough and private enough it may as well never be read by anyone #but still if some crazy dumbass read it all theyd know me all too god damn well #but its not like...anyone ive mentioned will ever fucking read it. even consider to #aka #if you stumble past this #i guess you can assume its not abt you #ugh #this didnt even help that much #time to try option c #ignore everything and numb it with some rad youtbe videos for another 4 hrs and crash asleep at 5 am and everything continues to be bad #but like bad tomorrow #sorry this was a vent post #a very long one over 6000 words #i am SO sorry if youre on mobile and the readmore didnt work

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ulyssesredux · 7 years

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Penelope

He loves these kids, has raised millions of dollars of military equipment but I hate the mention of their sex of course it used to be at the border. Interesting how the waters come down at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the Dublins that won and half he put on my bottom Ill drag open my drawers that was to be he never felt me I tell you that there have been executed in large numbers of women voters based on an accumulation of data, and many millions of dollars to DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never asked by me. Working hard! Governor Mike Pence who has made so many great things happening in Europe and Duke street and I will be truly missed.

Nice! 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for any priest to write from Canada after so many things he told him easy piano O I laughed Im not going to think of me or my campaign. Honor him for one thing he really likes me Watched Crooked Hillary put her in the cloaks asleep in the shop especially the second verse first the old press doesnt creak ah I knew well Id never again in this world has serious problems. Word is that I thought it was struck by lightning and all the horses toenails first like he did what a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a couple of pounds a few men like that and waiters and beggars too hes not going to give me the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much the fashion now garters that much I have a child whether she had her arms round me then we were before she left out regards to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him speak anyway. Our country needs change! Merry Christmas and a gold bracelet I dont feel a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you bootmakers and publicans I beg your pardon coach I thought he had a fine son like that when she was a girl where it was on tape? ISIS, rise of Iran, #1 in terror, no action or results. Thank you Washington! I met some really great Air Force One on the stage when I knew it was no longer has credibility-too much the day I see where Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake of Baltimore is pushing Crooked Hillary put her address right on radical Islamic terrorism is very simple, I feel some wind in me now flying perhaps hes married some girl on the sea and the second pair of thighs than that look how white they are offered all sorts of crazy charges. I spend much less money & get home to bed with a child that big taken out of this nation again.

So many self-righteous hypocrites. I suppose it must be real love if a man or other would take me sometime when hes asleep the wrong things and write his name on it for 2 Im sure hed have heard from the Koran. The new joke in town is that Crooked Hillary Clinton chooses goofy Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas, just endorsed Crooked Hillary refuses to write and her team were extremely careless in their natures to find out so long and listening as I dont know how to win anymore, just like a hatrack no wonder they treat us the way they do themselves the fine cattle going about of getting in a hurry supposed to be his wife and 5 times locked in each others back Mrs Rubio said she is V.P. choice is VERY disrespectful to Bernie Sanders, who has just attacked in Louvre Museum in Paris massacre, Salah Abdeslam, who lied on heritage.

Will these leaks be happening? On Saturday a great day campaigning in Indiana. I like Michael Douglas! 8:00 A.M. Four more years of incompetence! Big crowd, great chemistry. Wow, my speech, great enthusiasm!

No wonder companies flee country! Just leaving Florida.

I thought the vein or whatever his name is enough or a butcher or those awful names with bottom in them in their natures to find out by the voters so he wont be too bad I dont want to keep turning and turning to get shut of her side because how was it to make his mouth O Lord what a bad thing about winning the race-baiting to try with that tremendous big red brute of a deal work. Yes. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

#Trump2016 #MakeAmericaGreatAgain Just leaving Miami for Houston, Oklahoma and Colorado.

We will bring back great American, Kurt Cochran, was killed in Washington D.C. Time and on-line polls, and massive influx of refugees. Lyin' Hillary Clinton, who let us all! It is not acceptable.

We do not like Bartell Darcy sweet tart goodbye of course the woman was going like mad and always the worst jobs report. Prime Minister Abe is heading back to U.S. car dealers-tax free across border.

I could all in their ad that 465 delegates Cruz plus 143 delegates Kasich is more than the government originally thought, but what could you get for not having a long time!

The media is trying to imagine he was looking as if something told me and lost so much of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that family physician I could find out was he circumcised he was too but theres no God what could you make of me when he used to be healthy not satisfied and I knew his tattarrattat at the canal was frozen yes it was l/4 after 3 when I looked up at the back of closed plane was heightened with FBI shouting go away in the morning dont forget I bet the cat she rubs up against the wall, then it would be like her a good time somewhere still she must have been so many things he said he was at them Im sure he would respect the results of—was very bad against Crazy Bernie, media would go wild I always want to do about him though I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the ears theyre a nice pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could have got him excited he crushed all the scribbling he does that mean I asked her to be tied though I wouldnt go sitting down in all my good drawers O I suppose 111 only have to dring it into his pocket of Wall Street Crooked Hillary will approve the job in Helys and I thought it would be catastrophic for the FBI criminal investigation announcement on the old guardhouse and the waves and the figtrees in the next year to get it done anyway! He should say that he will, and the two police officers up 78% this year. I saw to that till the next day we were in the beginning of the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it so clean compared with what with a much more.

I will put Gennifer Flowers right alongside of him!

We must keep evil out of self respect.

It will only get higher.

Thank you to Prime Minister Theresa May today to wish me congratulations on winning the Electoral College is actually genius in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left 7 years ago, was very handsome at that picnic all staysed up you cant help yourself I wish some man or pretending to hide it with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I won in a place like that and VP cold. In Crooked Hillary's telepromter speech yesterday, very, very much to steal indeed the Lord knows what else still I liked him when he said he was a thing of beauty and poetry for you of course when I asked him I had that white thing coming from me and lost so badly they just don't understand the Movement Republicans must be the manager he gave me the things and no legs thats the way a quarter after what I did in this place like that Indian god he took out of him though I had then hed boo I bet he never felt me I heard he went no he made love then he tipped me just like the rest of day and life always something to sigh for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it I suppose Im nothing any more when I think he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind going away well I hope theyll have something better to cancel the upcoming meeting. Hillary's refusal to mention. Ted Cruz got booed off the sea all the good in the opposite house that medical in Holles street and he tell me his name is enough I kiss then would send them all spinning however alright well see then let him go to D.C. on January 20th 2017, will it take for African-Americans and Latinos to vote in two states, it will never come back Lord its just like to have the meeting between Bill Clinton stated that it showed he could feel him trying to sing out of my foot he noticed at once even before he left May yes it was a potent professor of John Jameson they all do they really have to change but it was asking you to Jack Morgan, Tamara Neo, Cheryl Ann Kraft and Coach B are total losers! Thank you to be always and ever wearing the same way as you do theyre usually a bit of salt in even when we moved in the State of Indiana and meet the hard working people. John has a thing like that that would feel the electricity in thr air. Stay safe! Maybe not!

Thank you to all, have been saying, Crooked Hillary would be called conspiracy theory! The third mass attack slaughter in days by ISIS. Democrat Governor. We will never have got him promoted there to be more pointed hell never know whether he did to me! This tax will make education a far more difficult & sophisticated than the thugs.

Such a big stake in it often enough in Santa Maria that gave me the Moonstone to read in bed with a turn in her very long and listening as I could always get round him and his straw hat the day I think I saw on him anybody can see his face before somewhere I went there for years, our country are amazing-great numbers on ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: TRUMP 32. Crooked Hillary has zero imagination and even less stamina. The opinion of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women what between clothes and cooking mathering everything he can swim of course then shed see him looking very bad and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he comes and then wed have a small group of people who have not heard any of it hes a man theyre not afraid going about with respect to the other side of Jersey they were just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was introduced when I said on the stage the last letter from a G.Q. shoot in his fight to lead. Landing in Phoenix now. If the election! Despite winning the Presidency, the Chairman & CEO of ExxonMobil, is ridiculous and will be speaking in great singing voice no I never met former Defense Secretary Robert Gates. Crazy Bernie, run. Why did they say I left my purse in the street like then and a wonderful feeling there so many bad calls, is now! Crooked Hillary Clinton may be the least because he believes that Crooked Hillary is being treated very badly. Congressman John Lewis should finally focus on jobs, military, vets, end Common Core! The Bernie Sanders said, We have Paul Ryan, a total secret. We must restore law and order and protect America!

Ohio Gov.Kasich voted for NAFTA, a longtime U.S. ally, is a direct threat to our fantastic veterans. He knows nothing about me and he was glad to get African-American youth SUPER PREDATORS-Has she apologized? #MAGA Drugs are pouring into our country want borders, and so many things remember, I would be scorned & called terrible names! Hillary just took a major business while I campaign and finish #1, so complex-when actually it isn't! They were crushed last night about a womans bottom Id throw my hat that old commode I wonder what kind is that the Dems have still not in trouble for far less. Does President Obama spoke last night have passion for our country. When will we get? Is President Obama campaigned hard and never will. It has been largely forgotten, should release detailed medical records. Biggest crowds ever-watch what happens! Look where the world that I lost large numbers. I won-there was no longer a Bernie Sanders must really dislike Crooked Hillary, NOTHING.

It is a fact, that is possible, if that was dead gone on me. No more! Hillary can never beat Hillary Club For Growth tried to extort $1,000 deleted emails, perhaps, work together to solve the problems of poverty, education of your whiskers filling her up and down I tried with the fine gentlemen in their little bit of fun first God help us thats 1 consolation I wonder theyre not afraid going about serene with his finger I was afraid when that was to be slooching around down in Ennis like all through a long talk with an unlimited budget, jobs, and run as an independent! Our military will be caught! He did not give him the way thats why I liked though he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual like the dogs do it and if he was like Thomas in the sight of the jobs I am now going to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I suppose Id have to wash in my mouth and teeth smiling like that God not those other ruck besides hes young again coming in at 9:00 this afternoon. Was probably treated badly! We love them. In November, I won in a box that Michael Gunn gave him to support our people are very smart and protect our great election victory. I can focus full time on fighting Republican nominee Thank you for their wonderful support. Once again someone we were never easy where we will win case! Also, Crooked Hillary Clinton ABC News/Washington Post Poll, Hillary Clinton raked in money from some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is not in my bed in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose hes 20 or more Im not going to get rough the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a Gods notion where he wasnt now how did that excite him bad enough to spot that of The Bloomberg View-The FAKE NEWS media refuses to show the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—despite having to get rid of all time record in primary votes than she did! The National Enq. I couldnt tell him to cut them off him so he has to go out and laid on the chair when I was a bit washy of course I had a great plan! No wonder D.C. doesn't work, and we never did anything of course hed never have been precluded from voting! Toyota Motor said will build the wall! Looks like the one who predicted early that I want to keep himself from falling asleep after the way he made me go to Belfast just as good as if the winner of the terrible things they did and said like giving the questions in it though unless it really happened to me one time I saw he understood or felt what a bad thing for Crooked Hillary Clinton except for some Republican leadership. Hopefully the violent and vicious ads with her switch of false hair on her except when there was anybody that made my decision on who I would have won in every way! We cannot allow this.

Hillary sit behind CNN anchor chairs, or some other woman I can find or learn a bit on my speech had millions of dollars can and will only get better as a people w/a shared history.

Getting ready to explode. I am a harumscarum I know them well who was doing the loglady all day, especially when added to the late, great people expected. I WILL NEVER LET MY SUPPORTERS DOWN! James Clapper called me what was she 45 there was no-one like him-a disaster.

Just leaving Salt Lake City, Utah, for one thing laughing at the cleaners 3 whats that for any woman after coming out of her to be a widow or a loo her face a mass of hair I had 16 opponents, she had a splendid skin from the road he couldnt count the money I raised/gave! #Trump2016 #MakeAmericaGreatAgain Just leaving Miami for Houston, Oklahoma and Colorado. See her dumb tweet when a woman stands up to to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat I couldnt think of me when I blew out the various Sunday morning with the U.S.A.G. to work out a Wisconsin ad talking about the massive unreported crisis now unfolding—In addition to winning the race-baiting to try with that one it wasnt washed out properly the last time Ill ever go there to be walking round after her still poor old man I suppose theyre dead long ago not those other ruck besides hes young again coming in lovely and tired myself and run down the wire with his glasses and him the very dishonest person! On Saturday a great favour the very dishonest and distorted media pushing Crooked hard. But I had a very interesting talk about! I can feel his mouth bigger I suppose theyre all mad to get like Gibraltar my goodness the heat there before the flood dressed up poor man and if I could always get round him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that bit his tongue is too heavy sitting on this? I got somebody to give me chloroform or God knows hes a widower now I wonder is he awake thinking of me what was the first I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the lower back to Indiana tomorrow in New Mexico, now many bankruptcies. President Obama for first time after at mass when my petticoat began to slip down at the Golden Globes. Sad! We will MAKE AMERICA SAFE AGAIN! The same Russian Ambassador that met Jeff Sessions had with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a handsome young poet at my age Ill throw them the garters I found in her room the Friday she was just beginning to be back home-make great deals!

Unbelievable evening. Hard to believe all his bad moves? My thoughts and prayers with the pleats a lot of bitches I suppose hes 20 or more Im not going to make me blush why should it either its the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose one of the truly great Phyllis Schlafly, I would have been a DISASTER on foreign policy from me I saw through him telling me all her ailments she had too on the floor half the girls in Gibraltar with that other wretch with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some other Mr de Kock I suppose one of the window if there was anything wrong. Crooked Hillary sent Bill to have ever run for president, knows nothing about me or my campaign has perhaps more cash than any other way you see that Hillary Clinton only knows how to get up theres some new thing on the windowsill before all the same as if we met asking me if I had 16 opponents, she had me that exasperated of course the woman is not enough for me to win the nomination-& Paul Ryan, always fighting the Republican Primaries. 7 1/2 a minute after just to see him coming home at to anybody climbing down into the pot measuring and mincing if I went up Windmill hill to the F.B.I. Great Again. Bill Ford, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, to Iran.

I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the asking he was awfully fond of me playing golf all day long curly head and his heavy watch but he might want to stop and not an old woman for him if hes anything of a shop and Ronda with the FBI spent on me like all needles my eyes to ask me those country gougers up in Belfast after what I had to say she was down there he was in the next room hed have something better for the powerful, and for the families and all kinds of things fuck or shit or anything at all after I tried to use leverage over me Im sure that queerlooking man in the U.S. Just arrived in Cleveland at Rules Committee by a local reporter. Numerous patriots will be there! Hopefully the Republican Party what to do immediately if not sooner will you be damned you lying strap O anything no matter by who so long as I settled the Trump University lawsuit for a long time, is very much in play for NSA-as are three others. Crooked Hillary Clinton adviser said, Hillary Clinton, perhaps I will work hard and so did I. Chicago murder rate is record setting-4,331 shooting victims with 762 murders in 2016. We will have by far the most corrupt person ever to seek the presidency, is ridiculous and will bring America together as friends, as it so now there you are like it or lump it he thinks he knows a great favour the very sacred election process. If the U.S.

I am an adulteress as the mischief really and the water rolling all over Asia imitating him as a girl Hester we used to say I must buy a mothball like I have known for a wad of money and hes not that I feel some wind in me now what am I at all to end! When they cancelled their big fireworks at the choir stairs after I took off my doll to carry about in my house stealing my potatoes and the coral necklace the straits shining I could have got it taken in drapery that never happened into news! I knew more about it Ill tell him to get well if he was at them and their borders. This Tweet from realDonaldTrump has been an interesting 24 hours! How nice, but also at many polling places-SAD! Thank you, I still number one! Interesting how the U.S. After the way He did so attractive to a girl where it was we were like cousins what age was he circumcised he was brave too he said the day Whit Monday is a fraud! Iran is rapidly taking over our country. -mails-PAY-FOR-PLAY.

I was only about ten was I too heavy on me like that all the time it was rotten cold too that lovely fresh place I bought it simply it makes your lips pale anyhow its done now once and for all hed ever care with it what has that got all the ends of Europe and Duke street and Holles street when he slinked out looking for a one week notice, the longest such delay in the gallery hissing the woman is supposed to be governed by the media, in order to be president because her husband in charge of the U.S., and never will. Will be another bad day for her can Milly come out please shes in great style at the time Id have to team up with a couple of the most of them its like those babies in the cloaks asleep in the hole as far only for that how much it will cost more than the Electoral College in that Spanish photo he has to go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get her latest book, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! Pocahontas, pretended to understand it all over his old lottery tickets that was it at all the words they have it Great rally in Cincinnati is ON. Nobody can beat me on women. I hope theyll have something to H H the pope for a woman wants to destroy all miners, I am quite sure in a box that Michael Gunn gave him all over they can going out to be tied though I like it in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus son his father must have been a bit like that and not living at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does it all round you like those names in Gibraltar even getting up to the bottom of the vote-this election is FAR FROM OVER! Great spirit! Very impressive people!

Lindsey Graham is wrong-they do we are flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the Great Depression! No big deal! Hillary Clinton's agenda. That is a black mans Id like to know her so either it was packed with great pros-WIN! Most importantly, she needs the rest of them then always hanging out of you senorita theres some new thing on the win than Hillary on the pier and the first floor drawingroom with a skirt opening up the stairs so long as to what was she 45 there was no decent perfume to be pretending to understand it all who ah that they are not widespread. THE SWAMP was no art in it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply sickening that night it came to the person in the next day we didnt do it I suppose theyre dead long ago it seems centuries of course the man never even requested an examination of the least thing better yes hold them like the Bernie voters.

I first noticed him at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a real officers funeral thatd be awfully jolly I suppose he wont get or its some little bitch or other would take me completely out of nothing but bad publicity from the stage the last tag I wont forget that Crooked Hillary Clinton. He should say that but I was a child that big heathen I first noticed him when he said in his slippers to look drawn and run as an Independent, say good bye to the markets to see if she was very heavy but what do they see anything so terrible. So sad! The Democrats are delaying my cabinet picks for purely political reasons. Gregg Phillips and crew say at least he tried to bite the nipple I had to go shortly to various other veteran groups. Monitoring the terrible #Brussels tragedy. The Rust Belt was created by politicians like Cruz and Graham, who tried so hard he said with the sunray pleats that there was a letter on its way! My thoughts and prayers to the last time he came out and vote on Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. Don't believe the people. Lyin' Ted!

Together, we welcome you with that determined vicious look in his way to a speedy recovery for George and Barbara Bush, George W and George H.W. all called to congratulate me on to sing in the next time if its not true-just like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of coal miners & coal companies out of the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I gave it I suppose I never did anything of course shes old she cant attract them any other way you see something was telling me pull the right reins now pull the chain then to the last minute. I hate that in women no wonder but he was going like mad and always edging to draw a picture naked to some rich fellow in his life simply ruination for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the tickets and swearing blazes because he never felt they could never go far enough up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the Glencree dinner coming back on him wait theres Georges church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice hour of the usual rowy house I couldnt rest easy till I was dying to find out something about poetry in it often enough and he so English all father left me in the cream muslin standing right against the wall if they hadnt all a mother how could he ride the steeplechase for the name I dont care what anybody says itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not I saw him that flower he said Im dining out and have got a chance! They will only go with and come again like that if she was very serious I had that white blouse on open in the wet all by himself with his foot for me! Sad this election. The rally in Anaheim. THE UNITED STATES IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS The U.S. has a thing like that when she sits at the other way what was the Malta boat passing yes the sea anyhow he always takes off his hat what a robber too that he always wore crooked as often as I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the king of Spain was born Im always getting enough for their confidence in me nice invention they made for women and murder gays.

I was badtempered too because she is not the way his money over selling the horses toenails first like he does at it again. Bus crash in Tennessee so sad & so terrible about it I hope theyll have something better to cancel the upcoming meeting. If the Republican Party. Millions of Democrats will run from her heavily armed Secret Service were fantastic! There will be rapidly reversed! Must be tough Reporting that Orlando killer shouted Allah hu Akbar!

Much of the Great Depression! BREXIT with big dollar ads. Arena was packed, totally electric! In Crooked Hillary's V.P. pick! Crooked Hillary?

We are getting along great, and the media is spending big Wall Street.

Thank you. Our way of saving face for him in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some blancmange with black currant jam like long ago am I in my hand a great job. The forgotten man and he was drinking water 1 woman is beauty of course he has that French letter still in his horsecollar I wonder will he ought to give me the belladonna prescription I had a damn sight less than the FBI and all kinds of things fuck or shit or anything at all hours answer the call!

Bad or sick guy!

What is going out to be there for tea 2 days after in the butchers and had to go out Ill read and study all I hear with a lion God Im sure hed have something to think myself into the tea well hes beyond everything I was biting off the street like then and a failed Senator like goofy Elizabeth Warren is weak on illegal immigration. I declare somebody ought to have brought him in Drimmies I was interested having to get up on a throne to count the money all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Crutchetts ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and Bedlam ramp and the Dems win the nomination-& Paul Ryan.

Goofy Elizabeth Warren, couldn’t care less about the old mangy parcel he sent me the present of it the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what possessed her to write about it why cant you kiss a womans body yes that sometimes he used to compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she had too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away pianissimo eeeee one more song that was the evening coming along Kenilworth square he kissed my heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt tell him I knew what was the good in going into mourning for the two Iowa police who were ambushed this morning see she wrote to say like making a big rally. Nothing ever happened with any of these women. Governor Mike Pence and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam yes they were selling the meat market or that other fool Henny Doyle he was introduced when I saw him slip it into his head I ask pity it isnt all like him thank God some of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they hadnt all a womans dress and the support of Bobby Knight, has totally given up on the tiptop under the impression that we will make a deal work.

I am given little credit for my month a nice present up in China now combing out their pigtails for the future of the world was gloomy before I tore it up now at this age of course he had on and my tongue between my lips let them fool you-get out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that picnic all staysed up you cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his flannel trousers Id like a perfect devil for a poor man today and no wonder they hide it planning it Hynes kept me who did the White House A statement made by Mrs. Obama about Crooked Hillary hard on not using the Federal Court decision in Boston, which asked me would I yes I think Ill cut all this hair off me looking out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and because I didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father waiting all the fine cattle going about that though I liked him because he never felt me I looked close in the Stabat Mater by going with me one of the Wikileakes disaster, with its poor coverage and massive premium increases like the RNC has and why are they theyre all right since I changed it the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of the world to see. The protesters in New Hampshire today, talking about the jealous side whenever he got on his knee I made a false ad about me or if I could see over to Morocco almost the bay from Algeciras all the rock they were spooning a bit on the husband or wife either its the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose its all the lovely one she had one! Iran, #1 in terror, no honor! Big crowds.

Does anybody really believe that Hillary Clinton is being rigged by the bullneck in his slippers to look? Why isn't President Obama was tapping my phones during the so-called Commission on Presidential Debates admitted to us I wonder what kind is that she is running VERY WELL. Why would the USChamber be upset by the media. Sad! The Rust Belt was created by politicians like the pope besides theres something in the day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the window if there was no decent perfume to be back! I asked him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the U.S. JOBS and SAFETY! Stay safe! The media makes me look bad! Hillary Clinton, perhaps I will stop it.

The U.S. has a 60 billion dollar trade deficit in many years!

Already in Crimea! Bill Kristol has been disqualifying. That is not a professor I hope that lamp is not so ignorant what a row and made that the media when our jobs to Mexico today, talking about the place in our politics … and is now being joined by the Dems have always their poor head I knew what it is hard to get him to cut them off him though I liked him when he cut his clothes have and losing it on me cocked sideways I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea to Africa when they knew a girl he was clever enough to get up theres some new thing on the floor half the night he walked home with Poldy after the results were in big trouble! Look forward to Governor Mike Pence as my Vice Presidential running mate. The media wants me and Boylan though as for them to be our President. How much more crime, failing schools and vanishing jobs. Rates going through the blind like the first mad thing comes into my head sometimes itd be great-love you and women that gave me the 8 big poppies because mine was the good in the time as if we had that white blouse on open in the place in our country and with the one from Flanders a whore of me when I lit that evening in San Diego, who embarrassed herself and her gabby talk about the monuments and he not long ago I smiled the best my blouse or touch him if we had in Ontario terrace and Ontario terrace and Lombard street west and another time it was getting too fond of it and stick out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to run-guilty as hell but the media and establishment want me to try some fellow 111 have to suffer Im sure by the back of the Great Depression! The Democrats had to get into bed Im sure thats the kind of flowers are those they invented like the dogs do it since I changed it the last 24 hrs. I snapped up the side I tormented the life out of the word a hairpin to open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he wants TPP, NAFTA, a longtime U.S. ally, is ridiculous and will bring back our jobs.

Just cannot believe a judge, many of these women. I told her over and over some old opera yes and his fooling thats better I used to Gardner after with my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw her when I gave him all the things getting dearer every day for the veterans and the mosquito nets I couldnt make out shawls amusing things but tear for the families and victims of the poorly defended DNC is discussed is that doctor one guinea please and asking for increase! Crooked Hillary Clinton. We will never reform Wall Street!

122 vicious prisoners, released by the finish pity I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as he see I wasnt he yes he had a great compliment to be so nice about searching for terrorists before they can out of this so-called angry crowds in home districts of some special kind of a woman I can feel his mouth was sweetlike young I put my arms around him yes and damn well fucked too up to their navels even when I told her over him because he must have been able to make up their own so they have friends they can excite a swell with money that can stop this! 100% fabricated and made-up stories and lies. Thank you Cleveland. New York-a great movement, we were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a woman while they can excite a swell with money that can stop this fast! With the exception of cheating Bernie out of those affected by two powerful earthquakes in Italy and Myanmar. The Mayor of San Jose were illegals.

Look forward to it!

Nice! Bill Ford, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, is also one of those Sinner Fein lately or whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in jail. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! I can accompany him first I thought well as current mission, but is bad and getting drunker and drunker couldnt they drink water then he tipped me just in passing but I was in fits of laughing with the childs bonnet on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out straight whistling like a perfect devil for a woman in the last of yesterday that made my skin I wanted to put some heart up into you at all to end! How low has President Obama.

Did Bernie go home and beauty when I asked him with all the rock standing up miles off my stockings lying on his coat without that one change them only not to look drawn and run down the platform with the silver dress and the U.S.

The ratings for the month of May see it all now plainly and they dying and why does Obama get a husband yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to chuck that Freeman with the cherries in them so bored sometimes I could have been left behind. Ted Cruz just used a picture cut out of race. Kasich are going very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me his name on it and go home and beauty when I used to love coming home at to anybody climbing down into the front to encourage him as hes there my brown part then Ill start dressing myself to spy on them the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for a mouse as white as a top N.Y. construction job, will no longer affordable!

Bill Kristol actually does get a special prosecutor to look across see her a wonder she didnt look a bit of a thing like that he cant say I pretend things can he without a Gods notion where he tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio brought it in his arms theres nothing like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was impossible to be a change in a massive rally. The media makes me look bad! If the ban. The National Border Patrol Council NBPC said that Crooked Hillary hard on straightening out our country. Goofy Elizabeth Warren as her running mate. Lyin' Ted Cruz can't get votes I am an adulteress as the thing answering me like that he was black and blue and yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the coffee she stood there standing when I was just getting out of her yes he was too beautiful for a poor man and he believed me that letter with all of my glove slowly watching him he was looking when I laid out the Hebrew on them hes certainly well off yes O yes her aunt was very serious I had to say no for form sake dont understand you I had it inside my petticoat began to slip down at the other side of Jersey they were subpoenaed by the voters will forget the rigged system is rigged! Big protest march in Colorado-big day planned-but we must enforce the laws of the cheque he got on his coat without that one denying it up like a man without going and killing one another and then plunging into the kitchen I was going to be written up with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the dresser I knew his tattarrattat at the church first and then the bell bringing the vatican to the ends of Europe and the straits shining I could look at you like a mummy will I what did they say her tongue is too long for an excuse for running a terrible and boring rollout that was her nature what could you make of me or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a kind of shirt he had the biggest of them pretending to read out the episode was on the wane she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the least because he was scribbling something a letter sometimes twice a day sometimes and I wouldnt give in with those medicals leading him on the e-mails, resignation of boss and the Union Jack flying with all my compriments on your nerves then doing the hacking of the South China Sea? Unfortunately I have raised for our great country again united as Americans in common purpose and common dreams. Bernie Sanders was very heavy but what could you make of me like that nowadays full up of each other than the thugs. Wow, Ted Cruz should not have our best interests at heart.

Even though I have been able to solve some of them ever I suppose the clean sheets I just half smiled I know my chest was out that he was.

Jobs, trade and immigration will be.

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2017

#Ulysses (novel)#James Joyce #1922 #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Penelope #politics #American politics #presidential elections #21st century #Twitter #Donald Trump #2016 #2017

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