#i am still alive and kicking and i pinky promise that i actually do want to post stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Text

Childish

Niragi Suguru

So, a recent comment left by someone made me realize that there isn't many stories where the reader has a little space. I mean, I've noticed it as a person with one, so... yeah!

A quick explination for those of you that don't know what a little space is: A little space is when a person age regresses due to trauma. This could be situations from abuse to having to be an adult when you were a child. People use it to cope with all sort of trauma however(yes, being in a car crash, near death experiences etc. Etc.) When they age regress it can be to any age as well. Although a lot of people age regress to smaller ages (personally, my friend's little spaces (gave me permission to share) are of the ages of 4,5,7, and 3. I, of course, did research on how others experience it, but am mostly going off of how I personally experience my little space!

Warnings: blood, weapons, swearing, harassment(none done by Niragi towards the reader), soft Niragi things because I can't write his character canonly for the life of me-

Side note: there's a whole headcanon thing from I think @aceofspadegrass ? here on tumblr where there's pancakes on Fridays only and everyone goes nuts over it? Yeah, that inspired a section of this-

Niragi didn't know why he felt protective over you. You were just another girl at the beach. But he was protective over you since the first day he met you. It was a quick attachment on your side as well, feeling safe and protected around him. Although, you knew of his interest in you, you didn't want to bring attention to yourself. You already did by accidentally regressing in places around the beach. Or maybe being a bit to childish for your age. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't help it. And Niragi understood. That's why you were with him most of the time. He didn't mind your clingy or childish nature. No, he told you he thought you we cute for needing him so much. And you liked it when he called you cute. You felt safe.

You sat in the small field behind the beach, picking up dandelions and weaving them together into a crown. You kept humming quietly to yourself as you did. "What are you doing there princess?" You heard someone ask from behind you. It was Niragi. You knew his voice, you knew him. And you would never ever mistake his voice for someone else's. It was impossible. You smiled widely, showing him the bright yellow flower crown. He nodded, crouching down besides you. "Don't you have games tonight?" You questioned him, placing the flowers on his head. He looked at you, and up at the crown now placed on his head. He went to grab it off, but you grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. You pouted at the fact he was going to take it off, and he kissed your hand, muttering an apology of sorts into your hand. "Yeah. And so do you," he whispered. Neither of you wanted to be separated for the games, but you also didn't want to be in a game where there could only be one survivor. Of course, you didn't get to decide when you two would oand wouldn't play together, but it was so hard to not want to leave his side, but also not want to be the one left alive after a game. He had told you before that if it was a game where there could only be a sole survivor, you would be leaving. And that scared you. You couldn't think of life without Niragi caring for you, or giving you sweet words. After he met you, he started hating the fact he knew what others felt when they were waiting for their partners to get back. Now, you two had never really established what you two were, but you were really hoping he felt the same, because confessing was already stressful enough for you. You didn't want him to leave you alone.

"Niragi-"

"(Y/N)-"

You both spoke at the same time, making you laugh. "I'm going first. Because...yeah. You're mine, right?" He asked, looking at you. His dark eyes met your own, and you looked down. "W-whadya mean by that...?" You questioned, still looking away. He tilted your head to the side making you look at him. "You're mine, right? Mine means mine," he repeated. You understood what he was saying. "I'm yours, pinkie promise!"

You whimpered, clutching onto his shirt in pain. "Owie... hurts," you whined. "I know sweetheart, I know," he whispered into your ear, glaring at all the people who looked at you weird as he carried you up to his room. More like your shared room, because you slept in there more than in your actual room.

You had gotten hurt during the game. This time, Niragi was there to help you. Some asshole had tried to use you as a shield, and you ended up getting hurt. Niragi quickly got rid of them, making sure to protect you.

He sat you on the bed, and watched you to make sure you didn't get hurt. " 'Shiya can help, can't he?'' You said, hissing in pain when you tried to move your leg. "No. That bastard isn't putting his hands on you. You're my princess," he stated. "Yours, I pinkie promised!" You reminded. You kicked your leg on reflex, and almost screamed in pain. "It hurts... pwease get 'im?" You begged, giving him the puppy dog eyes. He scowled, and then reluctantly nodded. "I would much rather you go to Ann though," he said, kissing your forehead. "But she has dead bodies down there... 's scary," you explained. "Yeah yeah.... I know sweetheart. Still... can you try and be brave?" He asked. You thought for a second, before nodding. "I can be brave!" You shouted. "But only for you," you mumbled.

It was your favorite day if the week. Not only was it Friday, and you got pancakes for breakfast, but it was also suply run day. At leat you got pancakes this week. Last week you gave them to Aguni because he helped you with one of your plants that was dying. Niragi was very confused on why you were crying over a plant, until Aguni gave him the look. You know, the dad look? The scary one when a boy goes home to pick up the daughter, and the dad is just giving the the look? Yeah, that's all it took for Niragi to leave it. And the week before you gave them to Last Boss because he got Niragi during one of your panic attacks. So that was no pancakes for two weeks. You were hoping nobody would guilt trip you or threaten you about you giving them your pancakes. It had happened before, and it would definitely happen again.

Niragi usually took you with him, unless they were going to a place he thought you would be in danger. Along with spending the day with Niragi, not having to wear a skimpy bathing suit, and eating pancakes, Niragi let you take some things back. Most of the times you picked out a stuffie, or a fluffy blanket. He also made sure you had suckers or jolly ranchers. Kuina had even once joked that his room was like a little nest for you.

"What do you mean a nest Kuina?" You questioned tilting your head to the side. "Hmm... have you ever read... no, I probably shouldn't tell you about that... like a bird's nest. The pair build a nest out of things they like so they feel safe and at home. And in the other thing I was going to mention... the... usually it's a girl, so I'm going to go with that. The female builds a nest out of clothes and things that smell like... her partner for neutrality's sake," she explained. You thought about it, and nodded slowly. ''I guess you could say that. I like the things that smell like him. Make me feel safe 'n warm," you giggled.

"Am I going with you today?" You asked him, having your fingers crossed behind your back. He nodded.

''You are st-"

"Staying right by your side or within arms reach. I know!" You interrupted, giggling at his worry. Although he wouldn't outwardly say it, you knew it was worry. "Good girl. Such a smart girl you are," he cooed. You smiled at the praise hugging him tightly. "Gi-gi..." you muttered. "Hm? What's up?" He asked. "Thank you."

You fell asleep on the way there, making Niragi be twice as much on edge. He was in the passenger seat, and you were in the back. Of course, you looked cute as always, but that's kind of what was the problem. He kept glancing back to make sure you were still there, and nothing was going on with you and the other people in the car.

"She's Niragi's girl, I wouldn't do that," he heard someone whisper in the back seat. He glared, glancing back for a second. "I don't really care... no rules, as he likes to say," he heard the other whisper back. This made him scowl in anger. You were his. And no one would dare fucking touch you. How dare this person try something while he's right in front of them. "S-suguru," you whined, still sleeping. He turned back, and glared at the person besides you. Their hand was on your inner thigh, high above where it should be. It shouldn't even be on you. "Hands off her. Now," he growled, his hand twitched trying to not reach for his gun and shoot the person. The other stared back defiantly, their hand going higher. He heard you whine his name again in your sleep. At least you were dreaming of him. But he was going to have to deal with this person. While they were next to you, he couldn't do much, as he didn't want to dirty your clothes. You had picked them out specifically for today. Specifically for him. And your beautiful face would get blood on it, he didn't want that. You looked too cute to get ruined by this person's blood all over you. "Stop the car," he told the driver. They did so, knowing that Niragi was not one to spare those who angered him. Especially when he was already pissed off. "You, out. Now. Since you think you're so good, come out here. If you're so confident, you'll be fine, no?" He asked, scowling at the man.

You stirred in your sleep, making Niragi cautious of what he did. Sure, you knew he had killed, and would continue to do so, but he never did it in front of you. If you happened to be in the room, or space, he would tell you to shut your eyes, cover your ears, and sing a little song until he came back. And you did. You were always pretty good about doing so, not wanting to trouble him with a possible panic attack. (He never minded helping you through them, and wished you would understand that.) But right now, you were asleep. And he couldn't tell you to do that.

The person got out of the car, staring at the gun. "Like that's fair," they muttered. Niragi rolled his eyes. "Life's not fair, get over it," he groaned. The person cracked their knuckles, and Niragi laughed. Like they could hurt him, he had a gun.

Boy was he wrong.

Of course, by the end, the person was no longer an issue. Dead most likely. And if not, to suffer from now until their slow, painful death. Niragi had not gone unscathed, however. The person had gotten in a few punches, making Niragi bleed.

"Fuck..." he groaned, wiping away the blood. The driver started driving again, and he heard you start to wake up. He turned in his seat, seeing you yawn, and strech. "Mornin' " you muttered. "Good morning sweetheart," he said. You rubbed your eyes, and looked at him.

"Gi-Gi! You're bleeding! You ok? Hurt? What's wrong?" You panicked, reaching out to touch him. He pushed your hands back. He didn't want your hands dirty with that disgusting person's blood. "I'm fine, you worry about yourself for now."

You held onto his hand, swinging both his and yours arms back and forth as you two walked through the abandoned mall.

"And... that's the last thing on we needed. Which shop do you want to go to now?" He asked you. You smiled widely, tugging at his hand. "Stuffies stuffies stuffies!" You giggled. He laughed, "Alright, alright. Calm down first, and we'll see what we can find."

He was always kind to you. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't make him feel alone. The fact that he didn't want to be seen as a monster by you, even if he knew he was. He could pretend. He could pretend this was back in the normal world, and that the borderlands never happened. That he had really met you at the coffee shop he went to every morning, and not during a game where you almost died. He could pretend and lie to himself that he was a good person when he was with you. Because if you left him, or even worse, you died... he knew he would go back to being alone.

And you felt safe around him. Maybe it was the fact he saved you during the game you two met in. The fact he wasn't weirded out the first time you had regressed. You loved him. Even if you knew of all the people he's killed or the things he's done. He hadn't left you to die. He hadn't hurt you, and something told you he wouldn't. He trusted you, and you trusted him. And as long as there was the feelings of love, saftey, understanding, and trust, you'd stay. This meant you'd always be with him, because there was not a doubt in your mind those feelings would always be there.

Yay, first one done! I hope you enjoyed, and please always remember to stay hydrated, and eat because you deserve it! ♡♡♡♡

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #🎶please don't kill me i just want to include diverse things in my writing🎶#i will write more for the rest after work tomorrow #promise

34 notes · View notes

iwritethat · 4 years

Text

Tim Drake: Sister, Sister

Tim Drake x Sister!reader

A/N: This beautiful idea was all down to @comicsgirlimagines who is truly wonderful and an incredible writer also (check them out), credit goes to them for their support and talks when writing this.

Thank you @comicsgirlimagines ♥️

>>>>——————————>

It was ironic, everything around was designed to perfection, to be exactly what you wanted and needed to maintain a positive existence as a reward for your past choices on Earth.

Yes, Heaven may've been perfect and brought you endless happiness but you were conscious enough to find the faults, for a start your brother was absent - which of course was a blessing, you didn't want him to join you for as long as possible, he had his whole life to live after all. It was entrancing, tuning in to the life events of Tim Drake on occasion, your little brother had certainly taken an interesting path - currently he fought with his new brothers, the League of Assassins were after Damian again and it automatically became a family emergency.

They hopped from rooftop to rooftop, battling various members with each vigilante fighting their own battles yet managing to lend assistance when able. However as you watched on, Red Robin seemed to be doubled down - more assassins were upcoming and he was the first standing in their way. You began to panic, was there even a way to get down there?! You'd looked into such things before as soon as you learned of his hobby, sure you were dead but people constantly connected with the spirit world - such a phenomena should work both ways. Or at least it was a theory under construction at the moment.

———

Another down, then another, and another. It became routine, but with repetitive strain came exhaustion and before Tim could react he'd made what was soon to be a fatal mistake, he should’ve ducked the blade gunning for his throat but instead was a millisecond too late to react. His body falling short of available counters and it was then he realised, this was it - after everything, this was finally how he’d go out. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, he’d aided more people than he ever thought possible but surely there were things he’d miss out on like having the opportunity to become a father, get married or even see Gotham make progress as a city. Regardless, he had made his peace with that and he’d closed his eyes in acceptance ready for whatever awaited him in the afterlife.

It was a split second - he never thought the white light actually existed but it flashed behind his eyelids rather sporadically and suddenly the breath was knocked out of lungs and it felt as though his head collided with concrete.

"Jeez I'll be back soon, don't worry." His sister gave an exasperated sigh, hands on her hips as her little brother tugged at her backpack.

"But (Y/n)! Please let me come with you!" Tim pleaded, successfully halting her in her tracks.

"No way kiddo, you'll probably fall off of the mountain. But hey, no matter how far apart we are, I'll always look out for you. Okay?" She smiled, tousling his hair as he accepted her justification.

"You promise?"

"I pinky promise."

"Hmm, see you when you get back loser." Tim mischievously commented, his sister rolled her eyes with a sarcastic "Oh haha." before heading off on her rock climbing trip.

That was the last time he'd laid eyes on her, unbeknownst to him at the time. And yet, this light, this warm familiar presence brought back such memories - of that day, of the news, of the funeral...

So then, how is it that he could hear her voice so clearly?

"Get up Tim! C'mon loser, I don't know how long I've got!" It was dangerously loud, demanding almost and it made him consider how things hadn’t changed much.

Tim was coming to, clenching his eyes shut in order to adjust to the bright glow that shrouded the area as he sat up with a squint.

"Argh, (Y/n) what the-?"

The figure kneeling down beside him was easily recognisable, having not aged in the years that had passed without her but the concerned expression she wore was contagious.

"No time to explain, magic spiritual existence or whatever but please get up. Here's your staff." You pulled him to his feet, albeit Tim remained dazed with these developments and stumbled against your figure with a groan. His staff was pushed into his chest and it was only now - dream or not - he spoke his true feelings.

"I missed you, so much..."

“I know...” The sincerity in his voice only made you feel guilty, the accident wasn’t your fault but you still left him and that was a weight you’d carried since you’d died.

Tim was slowly adjusting, finding what seemed to be a brief flash of wings behind you but that must’ve been from hitting his head so hard considering he now stood on the opposing rooftop to previously. Recalling the last moments his hand shot to his throat, more than shocked when his fingers remained absent of blood and his breathing was perfectly normal ignoring the quickness of it, next he looked back to where he was standing beforehand only to find bodies of assassins littering the roof and battles continuing over the street.

“Am I dead?”

“What? No. I’m dead, you’re alive.” You quickly corrected with furrowed brows and a sigh, flicking his forehead as he pushed your hand away in retaliation.

Although he paused, the familiarity of sibling like antics hitting him with an unwanted wave of nostalgia and he looked at you again - really looked. Saw past the golden glow, saw past the perfect skin and any evidence of scathes or aging. It was you but ethereal, you weren’t alive, you weren’t staying and you definitely weren’t coming back to life. That was what made him embrace you, arms wrapping around your torso so tightly that if alive then breathing would be a problem but you didn’t care, his face buried in your hair whilst you held back emotional whimpers. For however long you had been gifted, you’d say goodbye properly this time.

“I’m sorry for breaking my promise, so sorry, please please forgive me Tim -“

“Yo-you didn’t break it idiot.” It was such a soft whisper, an attempt to comfort you even if he didn’t understand your reasoning for profuse apologies.

“I didn’t come home, I left you alone and that’s the worst thing I could’ve done as your sister!” You defended, justifying your beliefs and pulling away from Tim who offered a soft smile amidst his watery eyes.

“You promised that no matter how far apart we are, you’d always look out for me and you have. (Y/n) you saved my life just now - how many people have the willpower to come back from the grave to do that? But you did that for me, you kept your promise.” Tim assured, wiping your tears away before hugging you once more.

“I’m proud of you y’know, kicking names and taking ass.” You weakly laughed, parting to punch his shoulder once regaining your composure.

“So you keep up with the times in the afterlife huh?”

“It gets boring up there okay? Speaking of, you should get back to fighting beside your family - who I love by the way.” You happily informed, gesturing over time the members of the Batfamily fighting various battles with a sad knowing smile.

Tim noticed the sorrow in your irises, the way you turned back to him like it was the last time you’d be with each other and it probably was but he simply sighed and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“You’re still my favourite sibling and as such I guess I should take your advice.” Tim softly commented and with an understanding nod a bright light engulfed his form once more.

This time he’d landed in the most heated area of the fight, landing executed perfectly with an immense rupture of light knocking out every enemy on impact. Tim stood, his family turning to him awestruck at the amount of unfathomable controlled power that originated from his form and how exactly he’d seemingly beamed over out of thin air.

“Later Timbers, and by the way I think you should stop crushing on Steph and ask her out already.” Your voice remained, albeit fleeting, as was your figure standing beside him overlooking your handiwork.

“Wha- you can’t know all of my business zombie!” He went to knock your upper arm, fingers phasing straight through your body and you both mirrored sympathetic expressions, a knowing and meaningful exchange enough to say what words couldn’t.

“I’m so happy for you Tim, stay alive okay?” And with that your figure faded into blissful golden stardust that spiralled into wind up toward the matte sky until they’d disappeared from Tim’s line of sight.

“Goodbye (Y/n)...”

——

“What was that out there Tim? A new gadget?” Bruce questioned his former partner once they returned to the Batcave whilst Tim got out his phone with an absentminded smile.

“My sister.”

“You have a sister, why didn’t you ever mention it?” Dick now inquired, walking in step beside him.

“Because you’d want to meet her and that’s, that’s impossible but her name was (Y/n). Here, this was us a few years ago.” Tim answered honestly, the implications easily read by his family who remained respectfully quiet until Tim handed Dick his phone which displayed a picture of the two of you. The others gathering around out of curiosity.

“Damn she’s hot.” Jason casually commented, reviving a facepalm from Cass and chiding from an irritated Damian.

“Todd, that’s completely irrelevent!”

“She has standards Jay sorry, but, she really likes you guys.” Tim smugly replied, his last words laced with underlying gratitude whilst Jason received over dramatic ‘ooohs’ from the rest of the family after that smart burn. Although Tim saw the contentment on each of them, that despite not knowing you, they had your blessing as his new family which was a very sacred thing in their opinion.

Once he’d regained his own space, he began typing a message he never thought he’d write until after your encounter.

Tim: [Hey Steph, I’ve been told I need to act on things so I was wondering if you wanted to go out this weekend? Not in costume, just as you and I.]

Stephanie: [About time Tim, who do I have to thank for your sudden confidence haha?]

Tim gave a relieved smile at the positive reply, looking up to the sky before asking with a proud yet considerate tone.

“You happy now?”

He would’ve said the sun broke through the cloudy sky of Gotham for a few seconds, golden rays bathing the Manor grounds and his skin - but that was probably unrelated coincidence...

#tim drake imagine #tim drake #tim drake x reader #dc #dc imagine #red robin #red robin imagine #red robin x reader

95 notes · View notes

ablogcalledrevenge · 4 years

Text

Never Really Over

(a Gabriel O’Malley x Reader Insert Multichapter Fic, Rated M)

Chapter 3

The phone by your bed rings at 2:47 in the morning and you jolt awake out of a pleasant, if bizarre dream with your heart hammering inside your chest. Rolling over, you grab the receiver and focus on breathing.

“Hello, what?” You mumble, your cat’s eyes glowing yellow in the darkness from the foot of your bed. Getting a call this late at night, or perhaps this early in the morning, was never a good thing.

“Hey, I need your car. Can I borrow it?” The other voice says and there’s a pause where you try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

“My car? Why do you need my- who is this? Gabe? No, you can not have my fucking car! It is 3 in the morning and I have work tomorrow. Go away!” You yell into the receiver. But before you can hang up the phone, he sighs.

“C’mon baby please. I’m doing this job and I gotta get this body outta the way. Please (Y/N), I’ll pay for the gas and everything.” He pleads into the phone. You rub at your temple and frown.

“You are not putting a fucking body in my brand new Cadillac! Go ask Tony or David or somebody. This is your job, not mine. Zayde wouldn’t want me to get involved anyway.” You shoot back, wondering why you haven’t hung up on him.

“Tony’s busy and David’s car is in the shop. Besides, don’t you think I know that! I tried a bunch of other people before I called you. I promise I won’t get your car dirty, I won’t ask you to do anything but drive. C’mon baby I need your help please.” His voice has taken on a peculiar quality and your face floods with heat when you finally place it. He’s using his sex voice! He’s using his fucking sex voice to make you leave your house at 3 in the morning to drive him somewhere with a dead body. It was an underhanded move, he knew what that deep whisper did to you, and you clench your thighs together.

“Fine, fine! I’ll help you. But you can’t tell anyone and if you get so much as a scuff mark on my Cadillac, you’ll be joining that body.” You decide and Gabe cheers into the phone. He gives you the address and you figure you’ll be there in 15 minutes, although if you hit traffic you wouldn’t be surprised. But before you finally say goodbye, you lower your pitch as well to mimic his.

“Oh and Gabe? I’m not your baby.” The half groan, half laugh he responds with is worth the trouble.

The ride to the house where Gabe had prepared the body is pretty short, so you don’t feel too guilty about spending a good few minutes changing into a cute nightgown and brushing your hair. Gabe knows what you look like, but a little mascara never hurt anyone. Plus if you got arrested at least you’d look pretty for your mugshot.

You quietly pull up in your ‘76 Coupe DeVille, the street lamps bouncing off the red paint. Gabriel is waiting outside with a duffel, hiding in a shadow before hauling the large garbage bag over to your trunk. You join him at the rear of your car, helping him lift up the body and place it on the tarp inside. He slams the trunk closed and turns to you, long and lean.

“If that bag leaks, I’ll kill you.” You repeat, pointing your finger at him. He leans forward and playfully bites it. Scowling, you pull away and get back in the driver’s seat, glancing around the quiet neighborhood.

“So where are we going? The river again?” You ask, adjusting your mirrors before getting on the road. Gabriel’s eyes travel up your bare leg to the hem of your nightgown but you ignore the leer.

“Santa Monica.” He finally says when you hit a red light. You’re glad the car has stopped, because you turn to gape at him.

“Santa Monica? Santa Monica! Are you out of your mind? That’s like a 45 minute drive from here! I’m not taking you to fucking Santa Monica. What’s wrong with the river?” You ask incredulously, getting on the highway regardless. He smirks but wisely doesn’t comment.

“The tide’s going out tonight, it’s perfect to dump the body. It’ll be out in the middle of the Pacific by the time anyone knows he’s gone. Besides, last time I used the river, I got sick.” He points out, turning on the radio. Dolly Parton sings about someone smiling that smile and there go all her defenses. You give the radio a glare because that’s a low blow.

“Yeah, I remember.” You murmur absently, merging into another lane. You remember everything and at least Gabriel has the kindness to look abashed. You ride in silence for the rest of the journey.

You make good time to the pier, everything dark and quiet above you as you walk under the wooden beams. The Ferris Wheel sits unmoving, all the bright lights are off and the only sounds around you are the waves lapping against the dirty sand. You take a deep breath in, always having loved the scent of the beach. Gabriel grabs the body from the trunk and you take some plastic bags out as well.

“Here, put these around your shoes so they don’t get wet. You’re not getting back into my car smelling all briney.” You explain, watching him drag the garbage bag down under the pier.

“It’s fine, I brought a change of clothes. I’m gonna have to go in deep to make sure it doesn’t get stuck on the sand when the tide goes out. But hold this for me, will you?” He replies, whipping off his t-shirt and throwing it to you. Catching it with a smile, you sit on the hood of your car and watch Gabe disappear into the darkness.

You know that the body has been drained and chopped up to make it smaller, that there are weights in the bag to keep it underwater. By midmorning, that body will be in the middle of the ocean, halfway down among the fish. You didn’t know who the stiff was, but if Gabe had to deal with him, he probably deserved it.

Gabriel returns 10 minutes later, soaking wet and beautiful. The moonlight shines on his pale skin and the small ridges of muscle and bone are mesmerizing. He’s never been a wide sort of guy but there’s something so attractive about his body, in the subtleness of strength and the delicacy of his gait. He looks fucking good and you cross your arms for something to do.

Grabbing his duffel from the backseat, he takes out a towel and wipes himself down. His gold cross shimmers in the early morning light and the car jostles as he joins you on the hood. The yellow light of dawn usually turns people’s faces sallow but Gabriel glows in his success. You turn your head and watch the waves instead. You should probably leave now before the surfers and dog walkers head over. You have to be at the bank in the morning but you’re tempted to call out. You haven’t done that in a long time and considering your uncle was the bank manager, it would probably be okay.

“All done. Give me a second and I’ll change my pants. Then we can go.” He says quietly, shaking out any remaining sand from the towel. He scratches at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Thanks for helping me with this. You didn’t have to and I appreciate it. Thanks (Y/N).” Gabe adds, letting his hand rest next to yours, pinky fingers touching. You flush at the thanks and nod, content to watch the sunrise with someone you know.

Ten minutes later you’re fucking in the back seat of your Cadillac and you’d be pissed if you weren’t so satisfied. You almost kick a hole through the car roof, you forgot how good it could be.

Once your breathing regulates and Gabe lights up a cigarette for each of you, do you actually say something other than expletives and his name.

“What was Claire like?” You ask, immediately hating yourself for bringing it up. Gabe was probably still mourning her and you didn’t want to know. Except you really did.

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, he looks over at you with a sad smile before turning his eyes back to the middle distance. You focus on the condensation left on the windows.

“She was great, she really was. She was tough; you know she was married to that guy for fucking years letting him hit her and curse her out. Never complained, never said a word against him. She stuck it out, she was resilient.” Gabe says and you can’t help but feel a little bad. No one deserved to be in an abusive marriage. In that way, you did feel for her.

“She was nice too, if you had a problem, she’d help you; no questions asked. She was one of those people that helped; a doer. That’s the resilience. She did what she had to do to stay alive. She was probably too nice for the shit she got mixed up in, but she wanted to be able to take care of herself. I could respect that.” He’s lost to his memories now and you bite your lip to keep from crying at your folly. You shouldn’t have asked.

“You know I showed her how to handle the bodies? She didn’t seem squeamish about any of that stuff, she wanted to learn everything about the business. It wasn’t darkness, not like you have, but it was a pragmatism. If she was going to be in charge, she didn’t want to be taken advantage of again.” The mention of you causes an intake of breath that he either doesn’t hear or pretends he doesn’t. You’re not sure if it’s a compliment or not. You’re also aware of the similarities between you and Claire and it makes you uncomfortable. At least if she had been your total opposite you could make peace with the fact that you would never be like her. But you two were so alike, which made your failure to measure up even more obvious.

“The sex wasn’t bad either”, he adds like one more nail in the coffin, “Yeah, she was really great.” And you’re underground with her, your bodies rotting with the worms. Gabriel O’Malley has killed you both. It’s amazing how he does it so effortlessly. Your thoughts drift to the body sinking down beneath the floam; how peaceful it must be to just lie back and let the sea take you.

You don’t cry, you just smoke your cigarette down to the filter and toss it out the window. He does the same. The sun rises higher in the sky and paints his skin golden.

“I’m sorry Gabe, I really am. I know you loved her, loved her a lot.” You finally choke out. You’re ready to go home now.

“I’m not finished (Y/N).” Gabe says, turning in the backseat to face you. He takes your hands and the tears start falling.

“Please I don’t want to hear anymore, I’m sorry I asked, I’m sorry I brought it up. You love her and you never loved me and it’s obvious now and I feel like an idiot and I just want to go home. I want you to leave me alone. Please leave me alone.” You cry, pulling your hands away but he keeps grabbing them and pulling them back. What the fuck does he want with you?

“I will if you let me explain something, something important!” He demands, his hands resting on your upper arms and shaking you once. You stop outright crying and nod.

“Claire was all those things. She was tough and hardworking and smart and so kind. But she was also a person with good and bad parts. Stuff that I needed to discover and accept about her. The thing is, I wasn’t treating her like a person, I was treating her like an ideal. I was comparing her, the real her, against the image I had created in my head. An image no real person could ever compete with. To be perfectly fucking frank, Claire was really boring.” Gabe confesses, looking tired. Your brain short circuits and you blink several times.

“Listen, I could’ve dated her and married her and had kids with her and I probably would’ve had a nice life. She would’ve been a great mom and a great wife and we would’ve been happy in the grand scheme of things. But she was just… outside of the business, we had nothing in common! We didn’t like the same music or movies, we didn’t like doing the same thing, we had nothing to talk about. The sex was good because that’s all we were doing, it passed the time. Although let me tell you, I forgot how repressed these Catholic girls are sometimes. It was a trial and a half to get her to let me fuck her from behind. It gutted me when she died, partially because it was my fault. Cathy wanted me to spare this kid, but he wasn’t a kid. He came back with a buddy and Claire got one but she didn’t know enough about this world to be prepared for the second guy. I should’ve told her, I should’ve protected her, but I didn’t. Turns out I was wrong about her, wrong about a lot of things. I realized while I was out there that the Claire I thought I wanted didn’t exist, she never existed, and it was wrong of me to compare her to the Claire I had, and to you. So yeah, I cared about her. I cared so much about her, I wanted her to be happy. But I didn’t love her, I couldn’t love her. Not the way she deserved, not in any real way.”

There is silence in the car again, the sound of gulls starting to rise with the sun. Your tears have stopped and your breathing has too. You look at him, really look at him, and it’s like a bad picture trying to come through. His edges have gone blurry and the sound of your accelerating heartbeat is becoming the only thing you can hear. Your hands are shaking but you don’t know whether it’s from the comedown or your anger or something else entirely.

“Do you mean to tell me that this whole time I have been comparing myself to a person who does not exist? That I have been letting you compare me to a woman who is so perfect, she couldn’t even measure up to herself? You left me for something that was never going to work out? Is that what you’re telling me?” You confirm, your voice tight and deliberately slow. Gabe nods and swallows.

“Let’s get into the front seat and go home, huh?” You say after you watch him squirm for a moment. You pull your underwear back on and climb over the front seat while Gabe gets out and walks around to the passenger side door. You think very briefly about killing him, there’s a gun in your purse, but you decide against it. He was working for the Godfather now and you didn’t want to take away one of his guys.

Gabe pulls on the handle of the passenger side door but it doesn’t budge. You try and tame your hair in the rearview mirror, ignoring the sound of the door handle being pulled.

“Unlock the door, let me in.” He says, the sun almost completely out on the beach. You give him a once over and start the car.

“Find your own way home asshole.” You say, before pulling out of the spot with a squeal and driving off. The last thing you do as you leave him in Santa Monica is snake your hand out through the open window, middle finger tall and straight.

Chapter Four Coming Soon....

Tagging: @babbushka, @theold-ultraviolence, @stylelovechild, @niniita-ah

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

#gabriel o'malley x reader #never really over #reader insert fanfiction #self insert fanfiction #the kitchen #general hux x reader #my writing #fanfiction #gabriel o'malley

28 notes · View notes

ralfstrashcan · 4 years

Note

ok but 5 least favourite sh characters 👀

Hahahaha dear anon, it’s like you’re reading my mind. When you asked about my five favorite characters (I’m just gonna go ahead and assume these asks are all from the same person) I did think about who my five least favorite characters are as well, so I’m actually prepared this time! :D

1. Raziel. The most pointless, annoying character I’ve ever encountered. “It’s not the wish of heaven to erase all demon blooded creatures but since I made a binding pinky promise a millennium ago to do any idiot’s bidding who summons me at midnight over a stupid lake when the moon is in the seventh house I’ll still go ahead and do it. I mean it’s genocide but what can you do if someone asks nicely, amiright? Oh wait, what is that? There’s a battle going on at the shores of the stupid lake. Seems like someone wants to stop that genocide. Should I get involved?? Hmmmmmm no, I’m just gonna keep flapping in the background like the useless prop I am and dim the lights a bit for more dramatic wrestling in the half-dark.”I can’t even.

2. Helen Blackthorn. Oh, how I hate her. She’s the perfect example of moral stupidity where an action is right and good as long as she does it to others but becomes outrageous and wrong as soon as someone attempts to do the same to her. And on top of that she’s framed as a courageous heroine by the show with literally no one calling her out on her bullshit and self-absorbed behavior.(A more detailed explanation can be found in my 3x17 reaction post, just ctrl+f “sob story”)

3. Max Lightwood. UGH. Nothing drives me up the wall like spoiled and entitled kids who think they’re always the smartest person in the room. He’s insolent but everyone around him accepts it without rebuke (except Jace that one time in 2x08, that’s why I love you Jace, stick it to the little devil!)Max thinks he’s oh so grown-up and knows better than anyone else, and while he has his moments like figuring out then-Sebastian’s real identity he’s also dumb enough to flat out confront him without a plan or calling backup first. Smh.(I was so hyped in 3B when Jonathan attacked the Institute Max was staying at only to be devastatingly disappointed when he didn’t finish the job he started back in 2B. I wanted to dance on Max’s grave, dammit.)

4. Raj. He honestly doesn’t have a single redeeming quality. He’s racist, he’s a coward, he makes tasteless jokes over the corpse of a fellow Shadowhunter, he wants to kick Magnus out of the Institute when he’s the only thing keeping Alec, also a fellow Shadowhunter, alive.The only moment Raj had where I didn’t completely despise him was when he went behind Alec’s back in 3x02 and logged him out of the system. Going against orders because you believe you’re protecting your comrades from a reckless, irrational decision your leader made is a motivation I can appreciate.

5. Madzie. Yes, before you start wondering, I have rarely met a child character I didn’t hate. I still have nightmares from that Orphan Black brat. Give a character scenes that scream “I’m the cute kid/sidekick!” and have everyone else fawn over them and it’s 80% sure I’ll hate them.Anyway, Madzie. One thing that annoys me about her is that she’s very obviously a cute accessory for Malec. Remember that ice cream flashback? As soon as she served her purpose she just, vanishes from the scene.The other thing that annoys me about her is that whole thing with Iris. They had a good relationship where Iris took care of her and (very likely) kept Madzie in the dark about the gory details of how she came to be. Valentine uses Iris as leverage to get Madzie to cooperate and that works. But later in 3x11 when Iris wants to take her back Madzie protests loudly and it doesn’t make sense. They didn’t even tell Madzie about Magnus’s magic loss, am I supposed to believe they told her what the heck sick shit Iris was up to? Probably not, if they didn’t want to traumatize her further. Even if they told her that Iris is evil and has to rot in prison I find it hard to believe that Madzie would immediately joing Team Anti Iris.So yeah, Madzie is nothing but an accessory kid and a plot device, and I don’t have the patience for either.

#shadowhunters #raziel #helen blackthorn #max lightwood #raj #madzie #personal i guess

15 notes · View notes

kawaiikichi · 5 years

Text

I’ll Always Return to You (Day 7: Hope)

@oumasaiweekblog

Here is Day 7 for Oumasai Week 2019!

The final prompt is hope. I’m going to be honest, this prompt was really hard to work with. It felt very vague to me, so it took me about a couple days and some hours before figuring what it was that I wanted to do for this one. The way I interpreted it is that even through extremely rough times (ex. Kokichi suddenly vanishing and being presumed dead because he didn’t turn up after a certain amount of time), Shuichi still has hope that he is alive and that he will come back to him no matter what.

This may seem a little similar to After The Storm Fades Away, but this one still has its differences and it’s compressed into shorter one-shot rather than ATSFA, which is about 9k words in length XD

I hope you guys like it! :)

Title: I’ll Always Return to You

Prompt: Hope

Summary: After the simulation had ended and everyone was discharged from the hospital, Kokichi Ouma vanished. Four months passed before he was declared dead to the rest of the world. But, Shuichi knew better. He knew that somehow, Kokichi was still alive.

Continue reading under the cut!

“Yo, bro, did you hear the news?”

“Hear what news?”

Shuichi finished wiping down the table at the cafe he worked at as Kaito spoke.

“That little shit went missing.” he said.

“Little...huh?” Shuichi quirked a brow at Kaito’s statement. “Who in the world are you talking about?” he asked.

“Who else do you think I mean? I’m talking about Ouma.” Kaito replied.

Shuichi froze at Kaito’s words.

“Koki—I mean, Ouma-kun’s gone missing?” he asked.

“Yeah. Apparently, the last time anyone saw him, he said he was going for a walk. He never came back, so one of his friends ended up filing a missing person report. It’s been blowing up all morning on the news and social media.” Kaito explained.

“Oh...that’s probably why I didn’t hear about it. My TV’s been busted since Sunday and I don’t really have social media.” Shuichi said.

“Ah, I almost forgot you don’t have any social media accounts.” Kaito picked up some empty glasses and placed them on a tray. “Well, that’s what’s going on in the world right now.” he said as he picked up the tray and he headed over to another table.

Shuichi sighed as he followed suit, wiping down another table.

As he did, he kept thinking back to Kokichi’s sudden disappearance.

It’s weird that he just disappeared like that, he thought to himself.

He looked out the window.

Let’s just hope that they’re able to find him quickly and that nothing bad happened to him, he silently prayed.

💜💜💜💜

“Mister Shuichi Saihara, your uncle has come to get you.” the nurse called out.

Shuichi stood and he turned, locking eyes with Kokichi.

“Well...it looks like I’m going to have to go now.” he said.

“Ah...” Kokichi fiddled with his scarf. “Indeed, you do.” he replied.

Shuichi bit his lip.

“Are you sure you’ll you be okay by yourself? You’re sure that someone will come and get you, right?”

“Yes, yes, I am sure! Don’t worry about me, Saihara-chan!”

“If you say so...”

Shuichi sighed.

“Well...when things get settled, do you want to hang out sometime?” he asked.

“Oh? Could it be that you’re inviting me on a date, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi spoke teasingly.

Shuichi’s cheeks turned a rosy red.

“...Yes, I am.” he replied.

The teasing smile left Kokichi’s lips as a blank expression washed over his face. He stared at Shuichi as he continued.

“Will you promise me this, Ouma-kun?” he asked, extending his pinky finger out to him.

Kokichi looked at Shuichi’s pinky finger and then up at him before sighing.

“Alright, fine.” he hooked his pinky finger around Shuichi’s. “I promise.”

💜💜💜💜

The sound of plates shattering was heard as Shuichi stared at the television in the cafe in horror, tears welling up in his eyes.

Former Danganronpa V3 Contestant Found Dead After Four Month Search

“No...no way...” he choked out.

There’s no way this is possible.

Kokichi’s not dead.

He can’t possibly be dead.

He’s not dead, he’s not dead, he’s not—

“Shuichi? Is everything okay?”

Kaito’s voice seemed distant as it blurred with the sound of the news reporter talking on television. A distinct ringing sound struck his ears as nausea swept over him.

“No...this isn’t right...he’s not dead...” he staggered backwards. “He’s not dead...” he choked out.

He began to feel overwhelmed as he tipped backward.

The last thing he heard was Kaito shouting his name before he blacked out.

💜💜💜💜

“...I like you, Ouma-kun.”

Kokichi blinked at him, expression warping into one of confusion.

“You what now, Saihara-chan?” he asked.

“I said that I like you.” Shuichi replied.

It was silent between them in the hospital room for what seemed like hours before Kokichi burst into loud laughter.

“My, Saihara-chan, I didn’t think you had it in you to make such an amusing joke! That actually made me laugh, so kudos to you!” Kokichi wiped away at a stray tear. “There’s no way you like me—“ he stopped upon seeing how serious Shuichi looked.

His laughter ceased as a blank expression washed over him.

“Okay, so you’re not joking. You actually mean it.” Kokichi dropped his hands to his lap. “Tell me, Saihara-chan, what kind of like are you talking about when you say that you like me?” he asked.

“I like you romantically, Ouma-kun. I want to date you.” Shuichi replied.

“Do you really, though?”

“I do. I really do like you, Ouma-kun.”

“But why me? You could’ve chosen to fall in love with anyone, but you chose me. Why is that?”

Shuichi swallowed, fidgeting in his seat as he lowered his gaze.

“Well...you’re really smart. You’re cute, funny, and even with your lies, you’re a pleasure to be around. I like everything about you, whether you want me to or not.” he explained.

Kokichi furrowed his brows at him.

“Is that so...” he trailed off.

He propped his elbows up on his lap, resting his face in his hands as he began to think.

“Well, I like you too.” he said.

“You do?” Shuichi asked.

“Yes...but.”

“But?”

“But, I don’t think I’m worthy of someone like you. Someone like me pales in comparison to you. So, I feel that in order to become worthy of you, I need to improve myself, don’t you think?”

“But I—“

“Don’t lie, I’m sure you think that same way, as well.” Kokichi smiled. “So, once I’ve become worthy of you, we can begin to date. But until then, wait for me.”

He extended his pinky finger out to him.

“Will you wait for me, Saihara-chan?” he asked.

Shuichi nodded.

“Yes...yes, I’ll wait as long as you want me to.” he replied as he reached out and hooked his pinky finger around Kokichi’s.

Kokichi smiled and this time, it was a genuine smile.

“Alright, then. I’ll make sure I don’t have you wait too long for me, my beloved Saihara-chan.”

💜💜💜💜

“Shuichi, you need to stop this. It’s been a year and some days since he’s passed.” Maki rubbed her temples. “No matter what you think, Ouma is not alive, he is dead.” she stated.

“You don’t know that.” Shuichi replied.

“Yes, we do, actually. We saw his body at the funeral, Shuichi! There was no mistaking it, that was him! He is no more!” she reached up to brush her hair over her shoulder only to realize that she no longer had long hair. “Get over yourself and move on already! You can’t be stuck in denial forever, you know!” she shouted.

“Like I said, you don’t know that!” Shuichi stood, knocking a glass off of the table. “For all you know, that body in the casket could have been a fake! He could still be out there, trying to survive on his own and make a new life for himself!”

He walked up to Maki.

“We’ve been around him long enough to know that he could easily fake his own dear if he wanted to. That’s just how he is: he’ll find every opportunity to pull some sort of prank on us. I’m confident that this is just one of them.” he said.

Maki stared at him, eyes wide.

“You...you’ve lost your marbles...” she trailed off.

Shuichi let out a halfhearted chuckle as he took a few steps back.

“I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love.” he said, reaching up to run his hand through his hair.

Maki shook her head.

“You know, I really thought I would be able to get through to you, Shuichi. But, it seems that you’re long gone.” she turned. “I’m done trying to talk some sense into you. I’ll have Kaito take over.” she said before walking out of his apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

Shuichi continued to laugh before dissolving into sobs, collapsing onto the floor as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Maybe he really lost it.

But, that didn’t change anything.

It didn’t change the fact that he still strongly believed and hoped that Kokichi was still alive.

💜💜💜💜

-Two Years Later-

The leaves crunched under Shuichi’s feet as he walked through the cemetery with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand.

After chatting with Angie in the chapel, he went to buy some lilies from the floral shop that Tenko and Himiko owned and he headed to the cemetery.

He stopped before a specific tombstone, a somber smile touching his lips.

“Kokichi...” he murmured.

He squatted down and he ran his hand along the smooth marble of his tombstone.

At this point, he had calmed down from his state of deliriousness. He still hadn’t given up on hoping that Kokichi was still alive, but the acceptance stage of the grieving process was starting to kick in.

He set the bouquet down by the tombstone as he spoke.

“I miss you, Kokichi. I miss you a whole lot.” he whispered.

He pressed his fingers to his lips and then pressed his fingers against the tombstone.

He stood as he heard a voice from behind him.

“Heh...I can’t believe I have such a shabby-looking grave.”

Shuichi tensed, his heart racing at the familiar voice.

“Like, for real, they could’ve chosen something a little better than that. Marble looks cool and all, but still. I didn’t fake my death for them to pull this kind of shit.”

Tears welled up in his eyes as he slowly turned to face the person that stood behind him.

Their appearance was slightly different, their hair a darker shade of purple without the tips dyed purple. One eye was purple and the other was hazel. They had on a long black parka with clips and pins on it over a black long sleeve shirt along with a pair of black plaid pants and black loafers.

Yes, the differences were subtle.

But, the person before Shuichi was indeed him.

He choked out a sob.

“K...Kokichi...” he breathed out.

Kokichi smiled, extending his arms out.

“Come, Shuichi.” he said.

Tears streamed down Shuichi’s cheeks as he ran up to Kokichi and pulled him into a tight hug, spinning him around a little. He sobbed as he ran his fingers through Kokichi’s hair.

“It really is you...you really are alive...” he trailed off.

“Yes, it is indeed me, my beloved.” Kokichi said.

They dropped to their knees on the ground as Shuichi pulled away, cupping Kokichi’s cheeks.

“But...how...?” he choked out.

“Soooooo, you remember how I said I wanted to become someone that was worthy of you?” Kokichi asked.

Shuichi slowly nodded.

“Yes...what about it?” he answered.

“This was all a part of that.” Kokichi cupped Shuichi’s cheeks, wiping his tears away with his thumbs. “In order to become someone who was worthy of standing by your side, I had to kill off the old me. So, I made arrangements with my organization and we staged it to make it look like I had fallen into a deep ditch while I was on my walk and died as a result. As soon as the whole world knew that Kokichi Ouma was dead, I hid out at my secret base in Europe and began to try and start over. I got a new look, new clothes, and I even changed my name.” he explained.

“You changed your name?” Shuichi asked.

“I did! My new name is Kichirou Seiichi.” Kokichi chirped.

“I see...but, I can still call you Kokichi, right?”

“Of course you can. Just not in public, alright?”

Shuichi nodded in response, causing Kokichi to smile.

“Good.” he said, leaning in to kiss Shuichi on the lips.

Shuichi kissed back, pulling Kokichi close to him.

How long had he been waiting for this moment?

How long had he been waiting to hold Kokichi in his arms, kiss him, and let him know just how much he loved him?

Too damn long, he realized.

They pulled away from the kiss moments later, pressing their foreheads together.

“I love you, Kokichi.” Shuichi said.

Kokichi smiled.

“Love you too, my beloved.” he replied as they kissed again.

Their second kiss was quick and chaste. Kokichi pulled away, stroking Shuichi’s cheek lovingly.

“So...that date you mentioned almost four years ago...are we still on for it?” he asked.

Shuichi smiled.

“Yes, we are.” he replied.

They stood and Shuichi slipped his hand into Kokichi’s. He brought their interlocked hands up and he kissed Kokichi’s knuckles.

“Shall we go?” he asked.

Kokichi giggled.

“Of course! Lead the way, my beloved!” he chirped.

“Alright.” he replied as they left the cemetery hand in hand, ready to embark on a new journey with their newly formed relationship.

#oumasaiweek2k19 #danganronpa v3 #oumasai #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #other ndrv3 characters #day 7 #hope #tbh i almost thought i wasn't going to finish by midnight in my time zone XD #but here i am #i have performed a miracle #and with this #oumasai week 2019 is done!!!#kawaiikichi

58 notes · View notes

supernatural-blog67 · 6 years

Text

My Experience Meeting Jared Padalecki (again).

I had no idea what to expect this time. I didn’t even know what I wanted to say to Jared until about 10 minutes beforehand. Well, actually, I knew exactly what I wanted to do and say and I had known for months … I was just too nervous to carry it out because of my fear of being questioned about it afterwards.

I knew this year that I wanted to genuinely tell Jared how much he means to me, or at least begin to scratch the surface. I knew that I wanted to tell him how he’s helped me through a lot of shitty times with his campaign work, his openness about his mental health struggles, and simply being the compassionate person he is. I wanted to tell him that he is my light, my rock, my inspiration. Most importantly, I wanted to make a promise.

In the ‘Notes’ app on my phone, I have a note from January 29, 2017 that says, “i really really want a photo op with jared padalecki of us with our pinkies wrapped around each other’s so i’ll have a reminder for myself that i pinky promised jared padalecki to always keep fighting against my struggles with anxiety and depression.” I went to the San Francisco convention with this heavy in my heart and prominent in my mind, but I knew if I did this my family and friends would ask me to explain. I didn’t want to explain it to them because I knew they weren't going to understand. I was afraid they’d call it dumb, pointless, a waste of money. I was scared they would tell me it doesn’t mean anything because he’s “just another superficial celebrity and doesn’t care about you.” But instead of listening to the anxious thoughts in my head, I decided to do what my heart most deeply desired.

So as I found myself in the same anxiety-provoking photo op line that I had been through one year before, I tried to prepare exactly how I wanted to voice my thoughts to Jared. The last thing I wanted to do was hold up the line and have everyone get mad at me, so I was trying to figure out how to make it quick and easy.

As the line moved along, I watched him interact with other members of the SPN Family just like me. I noticed (once again) how he seemed to tower over every single person he spoke to. I remember the girls in front of me being super nervous, not in the fangirling sort of way, but in the quiet-because-i-am-speechless-and-might-faint sort of way and an “I’m Alive” member distracting them from their nerves.

It was at this point that I started to tear up as I realized what I was about to do and I mentally kicked myself until I had my emotions under control.

I remember the door to outside was open, causing a strong draft to make its way through the room. I remember standing at the front of the line and feeling the butterflies in my stomach intensify by 100% and next thing I knew I was talking to the one person who gives me hope and makes me feel loved in this world.

He turned to me and flashed his beautiful smile to me just like he did one year prior, and instantly I felt relaxed once again. I felt calm, like this was the most normal thing in the world, and I felt happy. And out of nowhere, a small but sudden burst of confidence flowed through me and I found my voice. As I began talking he held onto both my hands and leaned down close to my face so that he could hear me over the blaring music in the room.

“I was wondering if for the photo op, we could be hugging but with our pinkies wrapped around each other because after all that I’ve been through, I want to promise you right now that I will always keep fighting,” I said.

I watched his facial features as he realized what I said; he pulled away. He bent down, looked at me in the eye and held his hand up for a high five. When our hands came in contact he interlaced his fingers with mine, as he said, “I am so proud of you.”

I smiled the biggest smile I had in months. We got into the pose, Chris took the photo, and Jared just embraced me. He hugged me tighter than I had ever been hugged before (actually, that’s debatable after the sandwich op I had with Jared and Jensen just an hour beforehand). I can’t describe his scent because I couldn’t think coherently enough in the moment to put words to it. I just remember feeling safe and comforted by it.

I said, “Thank you so much for all you’ve done because it’s helped me more than you could ever know.”

He pulled away, grabbed my hands again, and spoke to me while staring intently into my eyes, “It will get better, ok? You will be better. You just have to hang in there and keep fighting.”

“Okay,” I said, too enraptured to form any other words.

“Promise?” he asked.

I smiled, nodded, and held out my pinky again, “I pinky promise,” I said before he wrapped his pinky around mine.

I then made my way out of the room and reflected on everything that had happened, and everything I wanted to say at autographs later that night (that’s another story. a shorter story, but another story).

Now looking back, I think my only regret throughout all my encounters with Jared was that I never mentioned my name. I don’t know why but my heart just really wishes that I did.

All in all, it was the best day of my life, and my picture turned out better than I ever imagined. In that moment, Jared had all of his attention on me and listened to what I said and took it to heart. It was one of the most important moments of my life, and he made me feel like I was important to him. He made me feel loved. He made me feel like there was and there still is hope for my complete recovery. He is my reason to keep fighting. And I could never thank him enough for that.

194 notes · View notes

multi-fandom-central · 6 years

Text

birds of a feather |stan uris x oc| |it 2017|

|chapter one: to the grave|

The past and present are revealed.

"Hear me out 'cause I never made the sound / Couldn't keep it locked away, couldn't take it to the grave"

On Wattpad and AO3

~1979~

third person's pov

The day started like any other for Lily Blue and Mike Hanlon.

At 7:45 am on the dot, Jessica Hanlon would bring her son, Mike Hanlon, to the Blue household. Will Hanlon and Jason Blue, Mike and Lily's fathers, had left an hour earlier for work, as per usual. When Jessica would arrive, it would be 8:00 am and Bridget Blue would have some buttered toast and jam ready for breakfast, with a glass of orange juice, Lily in her seat, waiting impatiently to eat. The Blue-Hanlon families would eat, the mothers giggling about something that their husbands had done for them the night before and the children would hurriedly eat their breakfast, not having time to talk for the food in their mouths.

From there, Bridget and Jessica would clean up breakfast as the two children giggled and played in the living room, playing with barbies and Mike's G.I. Joe.

At 10:30, the Mike and Lily would take their usual nap, before waking up an hour and a half later.

At 12:30 everyone would have lunch, before proceeding to clean the house.

By the time 5:30 rolled around the house would be spotless and prepared for Will Hanlon and Jason Blue to come home.

The two men would stroll in at 6:00, in time to eat dinner before it went cold.

Except something was off the whole day, to Lily anyway. Like she could feel something was going to happen, but she didn't know what, and quite frankly, didn't care. She was 4 and a half, why should she?

At 6:45, though, that was when Mike Hanlon and Lily Blue's lives changed forever.

The adults were in the living room and Mike and Lily were in the spare room, which had been turned into a playroom when everything went wrong.

The front door opened quietly, though no one had heard it. Not until it was too late anyway. Whoever had entered, then proceeded to pour gasoline all over the kitchen and walls, before moving to the living room.

Jessica Hanlon screamed as something poured over her head, covering her hair, face, and dress, soaking Will as well.

Will pulled Jessica to him as they tried to see who was soaking them with gas.

Quickly whoever had plans to destroy the families, splashed gas on the Blue family, before pulling out a lighter.

"NO!" The adults screamed and made desperate grabs for the lighter.

Finally able to see who was intent on murdering them, Bridget Blue watched in horror at Butch Bowers smirked evilly before dropping the lighter onto the gas and running out of the building.

The adults screamed as the fire because to climb up their limbs, scorching them.

The fire began to spread throughout the house, as the four parents, despite being aflame, ran to the playroom, desperate to save their children.

The door had at that moment decided to jam as both the children and parents tried to open the door.

Lily and Mike cried as they heard the pounding on the door begin to cease, the adults still screaming in pain as the flesh was burned off of their bodies.

The flames licked at the door of the room and slowly spread to the walls.

Mike and Lily huddled together, holding on tightly to each other as they waited to be burned alive as well.

The rest of the door was kicked down, a fire extinguisher spraying the flames that had entered the room.

The fireman that had extinguished the flames quickly spotted the two 4-year-olds, curled around each other, shaking.

He walked over, and gently placed a hand on Mike's back, as the way they were curled up, Mike's back had been facing towards the fire, with Lily in the corner. It was as if Mike was using his 4-year-old body as a human shield. His father told him one day when they were helping Mike's grandfather around the farm, "Mike, if there ever comes a time, when me, or Uncle Jason, or even Aunt Bridget and your mother aren't around, and it's just you and Lily, you always protect her, okay? Against anything. She's your best friend, she's been with you your whole life, and will probably continue to be with you for the rest of your life. You probably won't understand this now, but when you're older you will. Lilith is like your platonic soulmate in a sense. Platonic means love or a really strong friendship and soulmate's like your mother and me, or grandma and grandpa. Alright?" to which an owl-eyed Mike responded, "Okay Daddy". "promise you'll make sure she's okay when no one else can?" Will held his pinky out to which Mike wrapped his smaller one around his, nodding with the most solemn expression Will Hanlon had ever seen.

Now, that the fire was put out, the two kids peaked up to see if they actually had died but it just didn't hurt but were pleasantly surprised when they saw that the fire was out and there was a fireman that saved them.

The fireman, Chester, helped Mike up, who then helped Lily up and grasped her hand tightly.

"Is Mommy and Daddy okay? Aunt Jessy and Uncle Willy?" Lily asked, her lip trembling as she held onto Mike's hand tightly.

Chester didn't look at them, and instead picked them up and ran out of the room, and down the hall, trying to get away from the burnt corpses of the Blue and Hanlon families.

Unfortunately, it was no use as they both saw the burnt piles of cloth and bones laying by the door.

Their jaws hung in shock, neither saying anything, quite literally shell-shocked.

Outside four cop cars were scattered around the house, and two fire trucks were stationed on the left and right side of the house, water spraying from both trucks as the firefighters continued to extinguish the house that was still on fire.

Mike and Lily sat by two bushes, eyes wide, both shaking.

Leroy and Shirley Hanlon drove up to the burnt down house on Harris Avenue, Leroy still wearing his plaid button up shirt and blue jeans, but Shirley had obviously just changed and was preparing for bed, standing in her pink nightgown, light blue bathrobe tied tightly to her frame, black slippers on her feet.

Shirley was the first to spot her grandson and her future adopted-granddaughter.

Quickly, she pulled Leroy to the two children, but a police officer held them back.

"Sir, ma'am I'm afraid you're going to have to take a step back." Kenny Rayson said, holding the woman back, well attempting to anyway.

"Officer, with all, do respect, that is my grandchildren over there, now you can either let me by, or you can take me to the jailhouse, but I'm getting to my grandbabies whether you like it or not." Shirley Hanlon was an incredibly fierce woman when she wanted to be.

Kenny Rayson wasn't a bright man, but he knew when to get out of a woman's way, especially when she wasn't afraid to put up a fight. Officer Rayson guided the couple to the shaking children. Shirley frowned at the traumatized children and picked up Mike and Leroy picked up Lily, Rayson walking them to their car without question.

That night, Lily and Mike vowed to forever stay connected at the hip, no matter what, because even as children, they knew that nobody would understand what they've been through, except each other.

~1989~

lily's pov

Mike and I stood in the farmhouse with our Grandfather, Leroy Hanlon, and Mr. Moe Lawrence, one of Grandad's workers that helped around the farm from time to time.

I grimaced as the bolt penetrated the sheep's skull, plunging into the poor thing's brain, killing it instantly. I knew that the animal didn't feel any pain because it had happened so fast and by the time the pain set in, it would already be dead, not having to feel anything. I knew this, but still couldn't help but feel terrible for taking an innocent life.

Grandad turned to Mike and me, staring at us, waiting.

Noticing that my best friend wasn't going to make a move, I stepped forward, swallowing thickly.

Grandad handed me the gun, reloading it, and clicking the safety off.

He helped me position my arms correctly and I bit the inside of my cheek, as I placed the barrel between the animal's eyes.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I pulled the trigger, the gun pushing me back a bit, signaling that I wasn't prepared for the kick.

The sheep hit the ground, and Grandad placed a rough, calloused hand on my shoulder, giving me a pat on the back, taking the gun from me, and reloading it, before handing it off to Mike, who gave my shoulder a small squeeze, before copying my actions, following our grandfather's directions.

"Go on Mike, pull it!" Grandad encouraged Mike.

After a few minutes of hesitation, Grandad pulled the gun away from Mike and shot the sheep himself.

"You need to start taking more responsibility around here Mike, Lily. When your dad was younger than you-" Grandad said, before he was cut off by Mike.

"You're not my dad, alright?!" Mike snapped.

I decided it would be best just to keep quiet because it wasn't really the best idea to get into a fight with Grandad and Mike.

"Man, look at me, son," Grandad was speaking softly at first, but when Mike didn't look at him immediately, he got slightly harsher.

"Look at me!" Mike turned to look at him, with a slightly irritated look on his face.

"There are two places you can be in this world! You can be out here, like us. Or you can be in there, like them. You waste time, hemming and hawing, and someone else is going to make that choice for you. Except you won't know it, until you feel that bolt, between your eyes." Grandad Leroy said, placing his pointer finger between Mike's eyes, before walking away.

I gulped, watching them.

Another sheep was let through, and thankfully, Grandad let Mike and I go.

We went up to the house, going into the kitchen.

Mike went to get our books as I began to make some lunch for Grandad, Mike, and myself. Moe always brought a lunch that his wife would pack for him, and he was also the only one here today.

Gramms had passed away a few months ago. It was pretty gory if I'm being honest.

When we found her, she was out in the fields, laying by the old oak tree, eyes open, a look of terror written a crossed her face, her eyes still holding the fear she had felt in her final moments. She was covered in blood, her own blood, and she was laying in a pool of it too. Her stomach was bloody, and her intestines were missing.

The autopsy said she had died of a heart attack, her intestines being eaten out were after she had passed.

After she passed away, Grandad kinda went off the deep end. His temper had gotten shorter for sure, but he had also quit taking care of himself like he used to.

Before they would take turns cooking, Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays Gramms cooked dinner, and Grandad cooked Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Every couple of months they would switch it up a bit, and whenever they cooked, they taught Mike and me so that we would know how to cook and take care of ourselves when the time came when we only had each other.

Now, on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, I cook lunch and dessert, and Mike does Breakfast and Dinner. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, I cook Breakfast and Dinner, and Mike does lunch and dessert.

We've definitely gotten a system down.

For now, though, I was making some sandwiches.

I made a peanut butter and banana sandwich for Grandad, and some peanut butter and honey sandwiches for Mike and I.

I placed the sandwiches on the table as Mike washed his hands and pulled some glasses out, filling them with ice and tea.

As we were placing the cups on the table, Grandad came inside and washed his hands, before taking his seat at the table.

"Thank you, both of you" Grandad had calmed down since his little fight with Mike, now eating quietly.

I gave him a smile, nodding, polishing off the rest of my peanut butter and honey sandwich, washing it down with the tea.

The rest of the meal was quiet after that, as we ate in silence.

After we were all done eating, we cleaned up the mess and got back to work, well Grandad did, Mike and I had taken to do our school work.

After a few hours, we had finished our homework and had eaten dinner and dessert, now just lounging around.

Grandad had already gone to sleep, so it was just Mike and me up.

Mike and I were up in my room, laying on my bed, just staring at the ceiling.

I had my head in Mike's lap, with Mike running his hands through my hair, playing with it.

"Do you think our lives would be different if the fire never happened?" Mike suddenly asked.

"Yeah of course. I mean for starters, we'd probably be in public school, with parents like everyone else. We wouldn't live together, we wouldn't live with Grandad! The list goes on!" I let out a yawn and closed my eyes.

"But I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world. Everything happens for a reason, we've just gotta find what that reason is." I let out another yawn, and Mike pulled me up to the head of the bed where he was.

"Yeah, but if that reason wants to tell us, that'd be good too" Mike let out a yawn as well, and we snuggled up under the blankets getting comfy.

"Don't forget that someone's gotta go grocery shopping tomorrow" Mike reminded me. Oh yeah, it was my turn to go out to the shops.

I nodded before I began to drift off to sleep.

"Good night, Lily," Mike said.

"Good night, Mike," I said before I allowed myself to drift off into the imagination of my memories and thoughts.

So that was chapter one of birds of a feather! let me know what you think!

#birds of a feather #stan uris au #i'm a loser #i am a demigod #i am a witch #i dont sparkle #i'll be my own hero #it 2017 #stan uris x oc #mike hanlon #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #beverly marsh #stan uris #lilith blue #lily blue

4 notes · View notes

xjoiexgabriel · 5 years

Text

Lean on me || Mabe

Who: @max-a-weston & Gabe Beiste

Where: Gabe’s room

When: 7/11, evening

What: tw: anxiety

Max hadn't been sleeping. He hadn't been eating properly, nor had he really relaxed. His room was a mess, his papers were everywhere and he couldn't concentrate. The bags under his eyes were dark, it'd been...2 days? Since he slept a full eight hours. Now, his hands were shaking. A meeting with a professor set him on edge, he was missing deadlines, and he felt like he was killing himself while dropping the ball. He was messing up, and he didn't know how to handle that anymore.

His hands were shaking, he was focusing on the techniques to keep him calm but felt no different. He could hardly breathe. He wandered his way to the frat house Gabe stayed at, walking right up to the others room, knocking on the door. He looked defeated, his whole body shaking and Max was focused on his breathing as the door opened. "I-I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry. I didn't know w-where else to go."

Gabe was deep into his studying. He had only so much left but he wanted to make sure he had it all. The sounds of rushed footsteps didn't seem to stir him but his door swinging open as it did, did. He turned ready to yell at whoever just walked in but seeing Max there, he stood. The boy looked a wreck and was breathing heavy. Gabe took the steps to him and grabbed his hands, holding them. "You can always come to me,whats going on baby?" Pulling him in a bit more so Gabe could hold him up better.

Max just shook, shaking his head. "P-panic attack." He mumbled, "I keep screwing up." He mumbled. "I'm not sleeping a-and I keep....things are piling up and we have practice for the team and games and I-" He took a deep breath, hyperventilating. "Can't."

Gabe moved then to the bed. "Okay okay, I need you to do something for me, then we'll talk about everything. I need you find 5 things you can see, right now. Tell me five you can see."

Max settled into the bed, "I...Well.." He hummed, "Your books, you," He paused, "The hallway, your door a-and my feet?"

"good job." he pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "4 things you can touch right now." Rubbing his back softly, Gabe held him there. Smiling as he did it. "Good job, now 3 you can hear."

Max hummed, fingers reaching for him. "You, the floor, your bed,...your pillow." He hummed, leaning in to relax against him. "You...the videogames downstairs, the frisbee game outside."

Gabe smiled, kissing his hair once again. "So good, 2 you can smell and one you can taste." he whispered to him. Once Max was done, Gabe smiled. "How are you feeling now?" Wondering but he could already see that it all worked out in the way it should.

"Your cologne," he hummed, relaxing against Gabe. "Your candle." He closed his eyes, "Taste?" He nearly curled up against the other. "You've still got candy in your desk drawer right." He laughed a little, arms wrapping around himself. "Tired."

Gabe grabbed the candy and offered it to him. "Its there for you." he chuckled then. "Tired huh? should we nap some before we talk?" Wanting to give him all he needed. After all, this was his boyfriend and that meant Max came first to him.

Max smiled a little, kicking his shoes off. "I...I just." He sighed, "I need to start seeing my psychiatrist again I think. I'm not sleeping o-or eating correctly."

"Well I mean, you sleep when I'm there but yeah, you should baby. I could take you and go with you if you want." Rubbing his back still as he held him there on his lap. "What do you say we give them a call now, make an appointment and then we'll get some dinner and make a blanket fort to sleep in?"

Max melted, no ones ever been this good when he had a melt down like this. "A blanket fort?" He leaned into Gabe and pecked his cheek. "You're amazing, I hope you know that." He hummed. "I'll call, if you want to order pizza or something? I have cash in my wallet."

"I can do that but you know kisses are so much better on the lips." Gabe stealing a kiss from him. "Okay, you call and I'll get pizza. No no, I'm paying its cool. We have like a discount because we order pizza so much here." Grabbing his phone out to order through the app as Max made his call.

Max let out a soft giggle, kissing the other back. God he was wiped out. He called, setting an appointment up for the next week or so and after conversing with his doctor, came up with a solid plan to help him feel better. He curled up a little, swapping his button down out for one of gabe's tees as he shed down to his boxers before settling back down on the bed, and watching him. "I think I was already anxious," he mumbled, "And I didn't know who to go to, and I didn't want to scare you."

Gabe ordered long ago, so now he was just watching Max. It made him smile to see how he just got changed into his boyfriend's clothes. He couldn't help but beam as he came back to the bed, kissing him quickly. "Well you should come to me, I'm your boyfriend and I'm here for you. Even if I was fucking someone, they can go if you need me." Curling his arm around Max's waist to hold him close. "You didn't scare me, promise."

Max grinned a bit, kissing him back. "You're fantastic." He whispered, leaning forward and kissing him again. "And I promise I won't be annoying. " He hummed, "Pinky promise."

"I don't think you could annoy me, baby." Taking a long draw out kiss from him, his hand cupping the boy's cheek. When a knock came, Gabe pulled back to tell them to come in. The pledge carrying the pizza and soda brought it in then left just as fast. "Where were we?" Pressing in for another long kiss.

Max giggled, pulling Gabe down overtop of him as they kissed. "I uh... I think we have a blanket fort to make, before we get carried away and the pizza gets cold."

"Hmm okay but we will pick up again with those lips on mine." Standing, he grabbed all the blankets he had and started to hang them from the hooks he had on the ceiling. "I knew I put these in for a good reason."

"I was going to ask if it was some kinky sex thing you hadn't told me about." He teased, watching and pulling the pizza to him as he crawled in, pulling a few pillows and the boys laptop. "I mean, I'd be interested if were a kinky sex thing. But..."

Gabe slipped in with him, sitting behind Max to have his boyfriend lean against him. "Oh so you like kinky things, well tell me baby, whats something you think we should try together? I'm all ears for you."

With a happy hum, he shrugged. "I'm pretty open." He leaned forward and grabbing a slice of pizza before taking a bite and offering it to Gabe. "I've...done a lot." He blushed some, "Daddy kink, ropes....you name it."

"Oh have you? So you like calling someone daddy as the fuck you or kiss you or feel you up?" Gabe taking a bite of the pizza. "The most I've done is pin people down and not let them cum right away or touch themselves while we're fucking."

Max blushed a little, nodding. "Yea. I might've...had someone like that my freshman year." He giggled. "He was an actual sugar daddy and I didn't realize." He hummed. "I'm open to exploring with you, you know. "

Gabe shook his head. "I am so surprised to hear that but I'm glad you're all mine now." Kissing his cheek with a growing smile. "You are? So am I. I want to try new things with you, see how it feels and fits." Pressing a kiss to his neck now, he sucked hard.

Max grinned, "I'm happy to be yours too." He hummed, taking a bite of pizza and tilting his head a little, whimpering and smiling. "I like how possessive you get."

"I like that you let me be possessive and that you're mine. I'm so happy to be with you." Gabe kissing his neck still, giving him another mark there as well.

Max hummed, putting the pizza down and turning to face the other, catching his lips. He settled back against him, pulling the pizza closer. "Tell me something I don't know about you."

"Hmm something you don't know....I have nothing to do with my dad." Gabe sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "My biological dad is an ass, he use to beat us...drink alot and beat us"

Max's heart sunk, rolling a bit in the man's lap so his head rested in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry, baby." He hummed, "thank you for telling me that."

Gabe helped him to shift, kissing his hair and his forehead. "its okay, its the past but I mean, its why I'm not a big drinker and why I am so nice to everyone, no one should have to feel like he made us feel."

Max nodded. "You're a great person." He mumbled "I mean, I don't drink much. But when I'm drunk, I get really cuddly?" He tried to lighten the mood. "But if you don't want to be around when I'm drunk that's totally okay. I get it?"

"I like to get cuddly and I'm going to love how you are when your'e cuddly." Kissing his neck on the other side to leave a mark. "Umm i don;t mind, I've been around other drunks, but you're still the cutest."

Max just giggled, fingers curling around one of the man's hands. "You're my favorite, you know?"

"I do know and I should be, because I'm kind the most awesome boyfriend ever." Gabe joked with him. Kissing his cheek again, he just held him there. "So about this kink list..I really want to know, what would you like to try with me?"

Max blushed, "I-I mean, you could tie me up? I so could call you Daddy..." He shrugged, hiding his face. "And orgasm denial? I've never tried that."

Gabe's face seemed in shock for a moment, then the idea of doing that with him made his body shutter and his mind fill with images. Nuzzling his cheek, he smirked. "Oh, I think I like that idea."

"Horniest man on the planet." Max grinned, "Also happens to be the sexiest. That's kinda nice."

"baby, I think you're kind of bias, but I mean so am I. And I know I'm holding the sexiest man alive in my arms." kissing behind his ear. "Why do you try and hide my love bites huh? Don't want them to see that you're taken?"

Max smirked. "I don't mind 'em. I really don't." He hummed. "And if I wasn't teaching to a lecture hall of students who I have to get to like me as a part of my grade? it'd be fine." He hummed. "I only cover them for one lecture. The make up makes me itch."

Gabe smiled. ."Well then if its only for one class, I could let you borrow a scarf that is light so it won't make you sweaty, even if I like you sweaty." Moving to suck on his shoulder now. "You know I'm going to leave marks all along your skin, tie you up and explore your body."

Max shivered at the thought, shifting a little in his seat. "You and I should go explore a sex shop one day. See what sort of stuff you'd want to try." His cheeks turned a darker red, "I uh...might have silks we could try tying me up with next time you're over."

Gabe grinned, turning him a bit more in his arms. "You really do? Well then yeah, we can mess around with them if you're in the mood and all." Kissing his red cheek. "As for a sex shop, could be fun to see what they have and what you'd like to try with me. But only with me, right?"

"You are possessive." He grinned, leaning up and kissing him. "Yea, baby. Only with you." He chuckled.(edited)

"never was until now, until you, now I want everyone to know you're with me." he smirked. "Good, because my marks are only for you and so is my daddy side, little one." He whispered into his ear, testing it out.

Max's eyes went wide, turning some and kissing him again. "Daddy suits you." He mumbled against his lips, "I like that. You're stuck with me for a while, you know."

"I like how it sounds on your lips." Gabe cupping his cheek and holding it for a moment. "Oh I hope so. Because you damn well stuck with me too."

Max grinned, pulling away now and leaving his head rest on the other's chest. "Good. Happily stuck."

#pmax #tw: anxiety

0 notes