Choices Spread Kindness Day 1
A bit late, but I really want to use the opportunity of @choicesfandomappreciation event to say a few words to the cool people in this fandom. Real life stuff and my own awkwardness sometimes gets in the way, but I just want everyone I've interacted on here to know that you are what make this fandom such a fun and enjoyable place. There are so many of you I could never list everyone, but that doesn't mean I won't try!
To start off, heyyy drought era mutuals and non-mutuals! The fandom was so barren when I joined, it felt like there were maybe 5 people here. But these were the 5 people who made me want to stay even through the books like [redacted] so that's how cool you are @yourqueenb @zoeywades-spouse @griffinsboyfriend @masked-alien-lesbian @choices-binglebonkus @becca-davenqueer!
Next, @gaiuskamilah love your long fandom rants, greatly appreciate your gothic romance propaganda and villain apologia. You never fail to bring up something interesting about the stories and characters you talk about, and your love for the books you talk about is contagious.
@livelaughlovecassie you are a loud supporter of women’s rights and women’s wrongs and I respect that! You’re also a sweetheart and a joy to interact with. I feel like we have similar taste in tropes and character we like, you know? You get me.
@choicesfrog you’re a ray of sunshine. I look forward to when you come back from your hiatus so I can see your playthroughs and your OCs on my dash again.
@princepotatosack your posts are some of the funniest in this entire fandom, I swear! I love your librarian rants, and I’m a big fan of your MCs profiles, which inspired me to make mine too.
@what-do-you-mean-theyre-evil I love our interactions, you just get me, you know? Fantastic vibes altogether.
@aallotarenunelma ayeee lovestruck days mutual! Little ace solidarity moment, I love how you explore acexuality through your characters and stories. Always so cool to see you on my dash, and our conversations always leave me smiling.
@starlight-starfury you are so sweet and insightful! I always enjoy our interactions. Still waiting you to be 100% right on all of your Blades 2 theories.
@peonyblossom thanks for the trans Aerin hc, it lives rent free in my head, and for being an altogether joy to interact with.
@sazanes you're so supportive of every single creator in the fandom! Thank you for always making everyone here feel warm and welcome.
@itlovesinthewoods I love seeing your walkthroughs and your reactions on my dash, they make me experience the books I’ve already read all over again. You are so precious and a sweetheart to interact with!
More people who I’ve had very sweet interactions with, I just want you to know that I think you're cool. Sending you the warmest virtual hugs @aces-and-angels @lawrencebarkley @lancelotsimp @trystanxthorne @secret-fungi @watatsumi-island
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my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it's just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn't tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what's he gonna say? "didn't you used to have tits?"
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REMEMBER TO HACK UR 3DS AND WII U BEFORE NINTENDO SHUTS DOWN THEIR INTERNET SUPPORT (April 8th)
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I AM DOING A HUNGER STRIKE FOR GAZA
It has been almost 200 days of genocide in Gaza, and during this time Palestinians have been in the worst stage of starvation and famine. Children have begun dying from starvation and malnutrition, and more and more photos of Palestinian children are coming out where the child is nothing more than skin and bones.
Personally, I know I take the food I eat for granted every single day. I am no more deserving of a meal than the children of Gaza, so for that reason me and a few of my friends will be doing a minimum of FIVE day hunger strike in solidarity with my brothers and sisters in Palestine.
We will be starting on 1 May, as to hunger strike safely there is preparation needed. I making this post now in case anyone wants to join me and will want to prepare. I am not doing a dry hunger strike, I will be having fluids and I also don’t believe I will be able to hunger strike safely for more than 15 days for health reasons.
“Sponsor me” on my hunger strike!
If you send me proof of a $50 USD donation to Anera (the equivalent of feeding 180 Palestinians), I will add ONE day to my hunger strike (a maximum of 15 days)
Join me on my hunger strike!
If you think this is something you would be able to participate in, I encourage you to participate in any capacity that you can- as long as you’re doing it SAFELY
Here is a resource I have been following to prepare ***YOU CAN’T JUST START A HUNGER STRIKE BY CUTTING OUT FOOD COMPLETELY AND NOT PREPARING***
If you want to participate, please do your research and do it safely. I am doing this for the Gazan children who don’t have a choice right now, and I know in my heart I owe it to them. There is so much we consider a basic right and take for granted that people in Gaza don’t have access to. This hunger strike is solely in solidarity/raise money for Anera, there is no specific end result.
More information on hunger strikes (and why they needed to be prepared for if you’re choosing to do one)
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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When the consequences of your actions come to haunt you..
Got the idea for this after seeing this video on TikTok, which immediately made me think "This looks like a nightmare one of the Bishops would have."
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