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astroyongie · 7 months

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⋆.ೃ࿔*: Messages From Dead Love Ones ⋆.ೃ࿔*:

NOTE: Hey guys ! I am finally weekend and have the time and the right energy to do this reading. However I need to make disclaimers so please read thoroughly before engaging with the reading

This is a reading for people who have lost loved ones. I have tried to channel with energies, so please keep in mind that maybe you might not feel attracted to any pile or if you do and the message doesn't make sense then it wasn't meant for you

The readings contain the appearance or who the person was and the message they have.

BE AWARE! some of the readings mention the way of death and thus there are TWs.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Into the reading ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Close your eyes and breath. Let go of everything. once you feel ready look to the piles and chose the one that is calling you.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮�� ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 1: Amethyst .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 3 persons for this pile

The first one is someone who passed from disease. It happened fast, without notice (the disease) and the family had to prepare themselves for it. This person foresight their death, they knew the moment they were diagnosed that it would be their end and deep down they have accepted it. I feel like this person could be older, but honestly whatever resonates with you. I also have water sign energy either in sun or rising, but this could be trivial to only some of you.

The second person was someone very clever, someone who had high studies, that were well educated and from a good family. I can’t really know what they have passed from, as they only gave me their identity which was very important to them. There’s Aquarius energy, however again, this is trivial only to those who resonate.

The third person is someone who died unexpectedly. Probably an accident (could be a car, at work, suicide as well or any type of accident really that took their life. They haven’t given me much info about who they are since they were pretty much in bad shape when they died.

Message:

Your person wants you to move on, you to make peace with yourself about their death. They don’t want you to keep sorrowing for something that was inevitable and written in the stars. They feel very bad that you are putting so much energy into things that are no need for. Move on, that’s what they want.

They miss you so much but they are also already in light. They aren’t stuck between the veil and they have already moved on with their energy for the beyond so that’s one of the reasons they don’t want you to keep worrying about what they are, how they are. They are okay, they are with loved ones and in peace.

The little bird is significant because this person tries often to reach to you through a bird shape. Whenever they want you to feel reassured they appear next to you In such form, so be attentive to your surroundings.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 2: Eye of Tiger .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 4 persons for this pile

This person is someone who died in a foreign country. This could be an immigrant person or perhaps someone who went on vacation and met their ending or even a soldier. I feel that for one person here this could be someone who died on an airplane. I got here fire energy as well.

This person here is somehow heartbroken, this could be someone who was an ex to you (either romantic or friend or even someone of the family that you didn’t speak to). But one thing is sure, they loved you much.

Interesting, this energy is filled with financial value but they are also someone close to family. For many this is someone from your family, perhaps a grandparent, uncle or even a parent (most were financially well). They were someone who taught you so much and they have died before they could give you everything they had

The last person I channeled was also someone from your family, but contrary to the other person, this was probably someone masculine, with a lot of authoritative energy. They had also a lot of money but they didn’t use it for the good. They were for you, someone egoistic that only cared for themselves.

Message:

The message is simple and even if you don’t want to hear it or believe it, they want you to know that they are proud of you, they are proud of what you have achieved and proud of everyone in your family (so if you have anyone in your family that is still mourning them, please tell them, that they are proud of everyone). They listen to your prayers, to your thoughts and they wish they would have had more time on earth by your side

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 3: Black Obsidian .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 3 persons for this pile

They were someone sick for quite a while and they had to go through so many transitions that they have left their identity behind (I sense cancer here for some). They have suffered a great deal, they had so many memories and emotional baggage with them and even at their end they weren’t able to fix everything before leaving.

Okay, this is interesting, here we are speaking of someone who died while having dementia (could be any type of dementia syndrome, to be honest, from Alzheimer's to Body of Lewis, to mix dementia). They were just there, roaming aimlessly in life while their mind was already disconnected and navigating into other worlds. They passed without pain, or at least they don’t remember having pain

The last person I channeled was someone who had eye problems, some could be blind or have big issues with their sight. They also suffered from dementia and mental confusion so it’s interesting that most of the people with this condition came to me through the Black Obsidian.

Message:

They want you to know that they are okay. They have suffered so much while on Earth and how they have found peace and they just want you to know that they are okay. They enjoy the fact that you guys still think of them every now and then, but they want to make sure that even if they will always be by your side that you know that they are okay!

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 4: Aventurine .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 4 persons for this pile

Here we have a woman, a strong one, someone with wit, independent and unbiased by everyone and everything. This was a very important figure in your life, maybe a mother, an auntie or your grandma. They are quite funny yet very stern in their energy

The second person is probably someone who has passed on a car accident or at least on anything that involves automobiles in general. They didn’t see it coming, it just happened and they died shortly after if not in the same moment.

A loved one here, for many, this could be a spouse, someone you have loved romantically or it could also be a sibling you were ever close with. In any case you love this person and this person loved you (and still does).

The last person I channeled for this pile was someone who suffered from terminal illness and death was just there awaiting for them in the corner. They didn’t fight much their illness, they knew they had to die and they wished to do it with dignity.

Message:

They want you to talk to them, to tell them about your day and your life. They have left the world too soon and are kinda of sad not to be able to live and experience things so they want you to sometimes talk to them about your days so they can cherish and feed on that energy

Most of these energies come to you in the form or course of warmness. They try to connect with you through warmth, so for example, if you suddenly feel a warmth touch or have burning ears, that might be them

These people have also tried to talk to you through dreams, and while some of you might dream of them others still haven’t found the right moment to do so. Invite them in and also tell yourself that they are there to protect you against the terrors of the night. They try to send signals to you through dreams

And finally, they want you to be positive about life. They know things aren’t easy and life sucks, but so does death. They haven’t been able to experience all the pain and all the love, and they wish you to live to the fullest and to be happy

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 5: Aquamarine .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 2 persons for this pile

We have here a woman who passed away, someone who lived with many issues inside the house. For someone, this could be a woman who died at their husband's hands or they would be someone who during their life had multiple issues with their husband. I don’t know how they have died, but their death feels heavy and sad

The other person channeled is probably a friend of yours, someone you have known in school, university and for someone even at work. But it was someone who liked you a lot and you both had an amazing connection before they died.

Message:

The message is pretty clear and many people around them are still mourning their passing. If you aren’t mourning them anymore, they are. And if you are still mourning them, well, they are mourning themselves as well, because they think their death wasn’t fair at all. But it was necessary for them to move on. They are with you through these periods and they want you to know that they listen and share your pain. This is an energy that still suffers and will need some time before traversing the veil

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑ Pile 6: Carnalian .𖥔 ݁ ˖🔮₊ ⊹๋࣭ ⭑

Appearance/ Who they are:

I channeled 3 persons for this pile

The first one is a loved one, again this is a very close family so a parent or a sibling or anyone you consider family but it can also be a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse or someone you loved very very much with such a strong and deep connection.

The second one is someone who has died from mental illness (so suicide or overdose is probably the main event of their death). They have suffered so much during their time on the earth and gosh the energy is just so heavy that it makes my head go fuzzy

The last person channeled was someone close to you, that had much success in their life but they never had the opportunity to actually live through their success because they have died way too young

Message:

They are scared that you will forget about them, that you hate them for the fact that they left you. They want you to know they are sorry but also that they are still here for you and that you can still talk and count on them. They are just so sad and so frightened that their memory will fade

Communciation is really the key, I feel like these energies really want to connumicate with the persons they left behind because of guilt they have in their heart. It’s so heavy that I cannot read it properly (it’s also many people). But basically, they want to reach out

#tarot #tarot reading #astroyongie reading #love ones reading #pick a card

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frostedlemonwriter · 6 months

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A Re-Introduction to Writeblr

My name is Eric, and I'm a bit of a writer. Pansexual and in the past I identified as bisexual. I came out in 2002, but I never really brought it up either. Not until I found LiveJournal some years later. Now I'm proud of who and what I am. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and ADHD. It runs in the family since some members of my father's family had Manic Depression, an old term for it. I try my best but often fail, and I apologize for when I do.

Okay with all that out of the way, as I mentioned I am a bit of a writer. My first story was a play I wrote in the fourth grade. At least the first story I can recall with more than just vague memories. Followed by sporadic writing over the years until about 2008/2009 when I started writing fanfic on a consistent basis. I will not mention the fandom here, though.

Now! I do tend to just write whatever I want. But cyberpunk, fantasy, and fantasy-western are the three rather vague genres I write in the most. Also, I am writing quite a bit of horror right now.

If you are so kind donate to my ko-fi.

Stories under the cut

STORIES

The Last of the Orc--Eithne's Faith

After her tribe was destroyed by the Norse at the beginning of the Viking Age. Eithne seeks a way to stop the tide of the vikings and the Christians that threaten to change her way of life. With the help of an old druid, she heard about a legendary weapon hidden deep in a forest at the foot of a mountain.

Find it here

By Axe & Arrow: The Saga of Teagen

Finished!

After her parents died when their longship capsized in service of Jarl Viggo Iverssen. He took in their only child, a young girl named Teagen. Born under an auspicious sign that the jarl’s seer divined weeks beforehand, he took her into his own longhouse. Without restriction, she could pursue a life of her own desire alongside with twin sisters Astrid and Helga, her best-friends, and youngest children, to the jarl. Almost forgotten, they too could find their honor and glory alongside their friend if they didn’t tear each other apart along the way. At the beginning of the viking age, many legends were still to come and Teagen would do anything to become one.

Tag: #axe&arrow

At The End of a Warm Gun

Finished!

Alexandra Sullivan is a young woman with a natural talent for marksmanship, and perhaps too strong of a sense of justice. Despite some tragedy, she doesn't stop her from pursuing her dream.

Backstory: The Union broke at the battle of Gettysburg on that second day, General Meade's larger force routed by the stubborn defense of the Confederates. Bloody familial war waged until Washington D.C., besieged and starving with its port blockade by English ships, conceded. The Confederate States of America had earned its independence -- it didn't last long.

Tag: #warmgun

ON HOLD

The Voice In The Wires

Shortly after a gifted, but troubled, high school senior--Rachel--kills herself. The junior--Danika--she tutored begins to received text messages and DMs from someone who claims to be the dead student. At first Danika calls it off as someone playing a bad prank. Yet after she finds out other students she tutored received similar messages, Danika delves deep to find who would do such a thing.

Only to find herself going down a rabbit hole that leads to experimental nano-drugs, corporate cover-ups, and a young woman who discovers an ability to directly connect to the internet--where the vengeful spirit of Rachel dwells.

Tag: #voiceinthewires

Also various other WIPs.

I have a novel I am working on that I am not quite ready to debut. Alongside various short stories.

#writeblr #writers of tumblr #authors of tumblr

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multiplicity-positivity · 8 days

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I'm suspecting that I may be a system, but sometimes I'm just not sure because I don't always have clearly distinct people taking control of my body. a lot of the time, I have no clue who I am and if I feel like this body fits me. it's almost like sometimes looking in the mirror feels downright wrong, like that's plainly not ME. but sometimes it just feels a little off, or hazy. is this normal, or is it a sign that I'm not a system?

Hello -

Even in our system (diagnosed DID), we cannot always tell who is fronting and do not feel like fully separated, distinct entities with solid identities and sense of self 100% of the time. We regularly deal with blurriness, brain fog, identity disturbance, and depersonalization, which can all lead to feeling confused and uncomfortable existing in our own body. Many members of our system cannot look into a mirror at all without panicking. For our system, these are aspects of our lives we have had to learn to live with.

Experiencing this haziness or discomfort regarding the self is, to our knowledge, a common experience for many systems (whether or not they have a dissociative disorder). It most certainly is not a sign that you are not plural or a system. Although it is true, many singlets may experience these symptoms without being plural. It will ultimately depend on the individual, their experiences and self-perception, and the labels that they choose to use that best describe themselves.

For our own system, it took some time spent attempting to get to know each other before we were able to recognize our individuality during switches. Therapy was immensely helpful during this process. We did have a few alters who have always been more-or-less confident in their individuality, but for many of us, it took some time working together and actively learning about ourselves to discover what made us unique as parts. Not all systems may work or function in this way, but some do.

We will share a link to a post we have made compiling resources on depersonalization and derealization - two dissociative symptoms. Perhaps learning about these symptoms can help you understand whether or not they are something you experience for yourself.

At the end of the day (I’m parroting my alters here, but it’s true) if you feel comfortable using the word plural, if you feel like a system and find that the framework of multiplicity works for you, then you are welcome to identify that way. Whatever helps you understand yourself best and live a happy, healthy life. And there is nothing wrong with testing out labels, questioning, or misunderstanding your own identity. You’re learning and growing, and that’s what matters.

#questioning system #depersonalization #identity disturbance #blurriness

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libbee · 1 year

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Self development series: trust your perception. No matter what.

For inner planets in 7th, 8th, 12th house, water signs placements, water risings.

Those of us who have not been on the good side of fate keep thinking what is wrong with us. The "other people" appear to be socializing, relaxed and living it out. But you stare from a distance, comparing your life to them, wondering why you are surrounded by malicious people and most importantly, how to change your pattern?

You must trust your perception. Cognitive Dissonance is when contradictory perceptions, beliefs, actions, feelings, ideas, values and things are told to you by somebody else. You are unable to trust your own perception. You are confused about your reality. For example, a man who cheats on his partner but says that he loves her still. Again cheats but says he is wired like that, men are men, he is polyamorous, it is his biological instinct, in past kings used to keep 100 wives. Of course, you are confused. Or someone who does something problematic but says "you are jealous of me, you are insecure, I dont care what you say, I am not wrong at all - you are wrong". This causes mental confusion to you. The other person is straight up lying, making it up, manipulating, but to you it is confusion.

People are not "oh so complicated" like that. People are actually easy to understand if you observe the patterns. The same patterns repeat all their lives. They can pretend to be somebody else for a day or two but the facade ultimately falls. Trust your judgment. We cannot guarantee to make the best decisions all the time but learning to trust your judgment will make you assertive, confident and secure in yourself.

It is especially for those who are trauma survivors, they are vulnerable and impressionable. Abusive people abuse then confuse. They might justify or rationalize their behaviour because religion/science/mythology/history says so, they will devalue you one minute then claim to love you the next minute - say it is for your benefit/it is your fault/they did not mean it. Do not be fooled by the words, trust the patterns.

We are humans, of course we will connect with language and words. Whatever language you speak, you connect with others. I am writing in English, you know English, you understand what I write, it aligns with your judgment so you trust what I say. I have to hold this trust by not lying, misleading, manipulating otherwise I will become an abuser.

It will help to read on sociopath v/s narcissist on internet. Do not underestimate the number of toxic people around you. Of course we cannot diagnose mental illness in others but we can identify their symptoms and draw our boundaries. Not all narcissists are sociopath, but all sociopaths are narcissists. Trust the patterns. Not all narcissists are alpha overt type, not all narcissists will financially exploit others. You decide where you draw the boundary. Especially if you are guilty of emotional investment and intense reactions before and want to change the scene in your life.

So, the next time you see someone flattering or love bombing you and you know their pattern beforehand, trust that they are not sincere this time as well.

Why do people become abusers? Destiny, perhaps. Do abusers know they are abusive? It depends. Some of them do not know they are emotionally abusive, some know but still do it. Patterns are hard to identify and change for the abuser. They are so intertwined in their reality that they dont even know what they are doing. You can see a narcissist doing their "dance" from a distance but he/she will not know it. It takes immense will power to change your patterns in your 20s, 30, 40s. Then it is even harder beyond that. What is a spiritual event that can change an abuser? Anything that forces them to enter intense emotional distress. Rock bottom, social outcast, divorce, ultimate failure in life etc. This is why you see some toxic people are genuinely transformed, they go to rehab or therapy or do inner work on their own. There is no genuine transformation without emotional turmoil. Those who feel deeply also transform.

For those who do not change? Forgive them. Distance yourself. Know that if they knew what they were doing, if they genuinely had the insight, they would be blown by shock and remorse. Leave them in their reality. There are plenty of decent people living their lives, looking for friends like you.

#astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements #astro tumblr #astroblr #astrology #astrology and mental illness #astrology blog #astrology notes #astrology observations #dark astrology

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randomfoggytiger · 17 days

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ok I was gonna ask about your charlie scully one (still am I guess lol) but I must know your thoughts on the autism question, a while back there was a fandom-wide twitter spat over whether or not mulder and scully were autistic, and I was leaning against it but that was before I figured that out about myself, and most of my moots are in favor of it, and idk really what to think lol so your insight would be much appreciated🙏🏻 (also if I wasn’t so goddamn busy I would do all of that research for you lmao)

You should do it!! Even if one day my project comes to fruition!

My leanings on the autism question: no. But I'd have to prove or disprove my own theory if I wrote up that post; and in order to do that, I'd have to have a clearer understanding of the diagnosis, its symptoms (and symptoms that are commonly misdiagnosed), and its identifiable characteristics.

The "problem" is: the new understanding of autism and other disorders are now framed on a spectrum. In order for me to break down the topic, I'd have to ingest lots and lots of autism content from clinically licensed professionals and hear what they look for, broadly, when forming a diagnosis; then, I'd have to search up what the fandom perceives Mulder and Scully's autistic traits to be; then, I'd have to compare and contrast the strength of each claim; then I'd have to balance the whole. Currently, I'm ingesting new autistic creators that are breaking down barriers of what autism is perceived to be (and that's been helpful); and I have a few other licensed professionals I'd need to catch up on (one who even has the diagnosis herself.) In short: tons of layman research.

More importantly: who would be interested in my post, realistically? I don't have doctorate (or training), for one. Second, it's a rather popular thought that Mulder or Scully have some sort of diagnosis (besides trauma-- canon agrees with that one.) The rule dictates everyone has a right to their own opinion; and since that's the case, where would my post fit in?

Realistically, the 90s FBI wouldn't have recruited Scully out of medical school if they suspected she had autism. Mulder perhaps, but only because of Bill Mulder's (or CSM's) connection. There's a program just instituted (2021) by the Feds that is working on recruiting people with autism into their pilot program. And according to studies I've learned about from autism creators (that they've gleaned from the professionals), a neurotypical brain automatically senses something "off" or "different" about a neurodivergent brain, which can lead to ostracization (or bullying in children... and adults.) 90s Scully would have had to learn to mask her autism so well that not only was she never diagnosed but she attracted the attention of the FBI recruitment office-- not a small feat for a woman in the 90s-- and was able to keep it through their very strict recruitment circuit. (Fyi, the man who inspired "Catch Me if You Can" tried to get in with a law degree and was still turned down.)

Also, Mulder and Scully face back-to-back stimulating environments; and go right back to work without time to decompress (which is a feat nearly unachievable.) I'm not an expert-- far from it-- but the common denominator I'm finding from professionals and diagnosed individuals is that overstimulation is a key factor in autism. To varying degrees, yes, but still. Overwhelm and meltdowns are parts of the diagnosis that have to be factored in. Anecdotally, I've read one person who states she becomes better in high-stress situations than her peers because of her hyperfocus; but she seems to be an outlier (I presume.) I'd need to do more research on differing degrees of overwhelm and meltdowns (not everyone manifests overwhelm or a meltdown in the same way, of course); but since the field is still swamped with more information regarding "stereotypical" autism (a.k.a. boys who show the most extreme signs), it would take me a bit to narrow things down even more.

Lastly, we can all probably agree CC didn't write Mulder and Scully with an autism diagnosis. He definitely gave Mulder PTSD in the Pilot; and Scully's trauma from her abduction was written in later. The personal theories branch off from there; and, again, in order to finalize a perspective one way or another, a licensed professional would probably have to watch the show (or more than one season) and make a conclusion; otherwise, my "research" could be written off as another form of headcanon. And since professionals are professional, they'd probably abstain from forming an opinion either way.

Thus, the scales have been put before you: time requirements and lukewarm reception weigh against it; putting my ideas out there for me and the mutuals to puzzle over weigh for it.

#asks #agent-troi #thanks for droppin in~#I had a proper sitdown to flesh my thoughts out #hopefully they're coherent-- did a lot of paragraph swapping #this was fun

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charalysis · 11 months

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Darksiders: Death

In this post, I am starting my series of analyzing the Four Horsemen from the Darksiders series. I will be pulling from the games and Abomination Vault (canon debates aside, I thinking the book is well written and a bit more of a view into Death as a person). I will reference real world psychology terms and try my best to avoid using outdated terminology.

Trigger Warnings: references to abuse, manipulation, gore and body horror, mentions of incest, sexual assault

So, to discuss Death, we must first establish a baseline for who he is.

Death was a Firstborn Nephalim, said to be the most violent and powerful of their kind, having so close a relationship to their angel and demon ancestry. In fact, it could be argued Death and Absalom were the strongest.

It seems to be also, Death and Absalom were close, close enough that Death felt immense regret over the older man's demise, so it may be implied that Absalom had a hand in bringing up his fellow Firsts.

In Death we can see the cruelty that so clearly marks all Firstborns.

After conquering their first world, the home of the Ravaiim, Death suggested he and his brothers craft their own weapons using the skills of the Ravaiim.

The Ravaiim were akin to cousins of the Makers, but among the oldest Old Ones. A race so old that "the line between craftsman and crafter was blurred". The Ravaiim used flesh to craft their weapons and items, imbuing them with power too.

Death, being the closest thing his kin had to a crafter, set to work using the technique himself... With the Ravaiim themselves as parts.

Thus were born the Grand Abominations, weapons so vile that eventually even the cruel Nephalim found it necessary to lock them away. These world ending creations are/were alive in a way; they are semi-sentient, at least enough to know what was done to create them. Their creation poisoned the Ravaiim homeland and created a stinking place so grotesque, even Hell was considered nicer. The Abominations, due to their awareness of what was done to them, loathe all of Creation and people often feel uneasy around them. An undisciplined mind may go mad wielding one, purely from the hatred they possess.

These things were Death's idea, made under his instruction. This, along with the dozens of genocides he partook in over centuries, is enough to paint a starting point of who this man is and how far he is willing to go for self benefit.

Now, to contextualize his behavior, I believe it'll help us to use some psychology terminology. Death, in our terms, shows signs of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). He shows a clear disregard for the safety of himself and others, a disregard for others feelings, and acts impulsively. He's prone to being manipulative, a liar, and seems prone to risk taking behaviors.

NOTE: This was once called sociopathy/psychopathy. THESE TERMS ARE OUTDATED AND NOT OFFICIAL DIAGNOSTIC TERMS. To many they may be considered offensive. People with ASPD do still experience emotions, but perhaps not the full range of emotions, a common one being empathy. This can result in cruel behavior, especially in children and teens, however therapy can be very helpful to individuals suffering from this condition. My reference here is not to diagnose this character, but to draw comparison and give an easier starting point into dissecting his personality and behavior. Do not go and demonize the people with ASPD over a post over a fictional character. I am simply trying to make this discussion simpler.

Now to start, I do fully believe Death is capable of genuine compassion and kindness, as shown in interactions he has with the Makers in particular. Its shown he experiences familial love with his reactions to Absalom's demise, and to War's imprisonment. It may also be seen in a small bit of Darksiders 3 with Fury's Nephilim's Respite flask, as he saw her penchant for trouble and chose to help make sure she didn't die from her own hubris.

However, despite his care for others, Death is not above using his own family for personal gains, even going so far as to nearly killing War for a plan of his. And he ends up not telling War the truth, leaving War believing he nearly died of his own failure, not because of Death's selfishness.

And ultimately, Death is selfish.

Death lies to people for his own benefit if he can get away with it. He lies through his teeth, or at minimum omits the truth. He keeps secrets because he is distrustful of others, even his fellow Horsemen. He also seems to view everyone else as idiots, insulting them and being needlessly mean.

I think maybe the reason he ends up helping the Makers so much is because they bite back. They banter with him and they're not afraid of him. They're there to help as long as he helps them. He's surprisingly honest with them too, telling him exactly what his intentions are. I think its safe to say that Death actually respects them to an extent, though Karn gets the brunt of his comments.

Back to his secrets, one of his biggest lies/secrets, in my opinion, is the Nephilim phylactery.

I don't think he hid the Nephilim souls out of guilt, not wholly. I fully believe he hid them with The Crowfather so he could find a way to bring them back one day. I think this because of his pause at the Well. He has the choice to bring them back and the only reason he doesn't is because of War. Even Lilith was convinced that he'd choose his dead kin over War, but he doesn't.

And War us truly where Death's snarky, uncaring half act breaks.

I'd say his choice to run off to gods know where to erase the crime War allegedly committed was extremely impulsive. Which, allow me to restate, HE WANTED TO UNDO A MASS EXTINCTION TO SAVE WAR FROM PUNISHMENT. He dove headfirst into his quest with zero regard for what was going to happen to himself. He jumps into the Well of Souls, sacrificing himself to bring back humanity and liberate his brother.

And what is it about War that makes Death so emotional?

We don't have a canon answer so far, but I do have to wonder at just how close they are.

I do possess a theory or two.

Theory One: Death is mildly obsessed with War as War is the youngest and last of the new Nephilim. War is a remnant of the last generation of their people and Death is keen on preserving his people in one fashion or another. War is very likely the first if them to speak against the violence of their people. War is violent himself, but not necessarily without cause, so I absolutely believe he spoke up first.

Two: Death views War as an innocent and naive boy. War is much, much more law oriented than the others, his angelic heritage shaping much of his views in seems. And to Death, perhaps, this is a sign of naivety and lack of experience. A baby to be shielded.

Three: Death raised War and sees him in a more parental manner. We don't know what raising kids was like for Nephilim, but I wouldn't be too surprised of it was a "everyone raises the young" over "parents raise their own". If that was the case, perhaps Death ended up watching War growing up more than he had other young Nephilim. That's not to say their " parent-child" bond would be healthy, clearly, but it would make sense as to why Death outright says he'd do anything to save War, and why he goes on a huge quest to revive humanity to save War. Why he ultimately sacrifices himself in the end too.

I do think that despite being incredibly self serving, selfish and arrogant, Death is ultimately self loathing. He hides his true thoughts under a thin veil of snark and dry humor, under anger and sharp words. In the book, he claims he never regrets his choices, only the execution, but I don't believe that. I do think he regrets creating the Abominations, not because of them necessarily, but because HE created something so vile.

I think he regrets killing the Nephilim because they were his kin and he was someone they all looked up to. Absalom trusted him and respected him. And he killed all of them because his beliefs had started to change.

And I firmly believe his mask isn't one of accessory. I think its a manifestation in a way of hiding from everyone.

After becoming Horsemen, Death runs away. Death hides from his brothers for ages before coming back to them in Abomination Vault.

He hides his feelings of self hate, guilt, and even affection behind snark, sarcasm, and cruelty. If he pushes others away, he needn't face the pain of their loss like he did with Absalom. But again... War is different. Before his descent into the Well, Death removes his mask.

The removal of his mask does seem to be a willingness to face forward and face the world. To face his future. I believe this for the fact that that room was the place where he metaphorically and literally faced his past, his demons. He finally let go of the Nephilim and his past with them. He let go of Absalom.

The Well is also where we seem him at his most vulnerable.

He defeats and lets go of Absalom, then goes to make his choice. Then he pauses and talks about getting to that point and still not knowing what to do. He sounds tired, broken, and like he's smiling to hold back emotions. The Crowfather consoles and councils him, and then Death makes him choice to help War by sacrificing himself and the Nephilim.

And taking off his mask is the most vulnerable he could be. He discards his physical mask, and likely in doing so its symbolic if him ridding himself of the metaphorical one.

Another character worth mentioning when discussing Death is Lilith.

Lilith, for context, is the "mother" if the Nephilim. She created Absalom first, but for all intents and purposes, she can be considered Death's mother.

Now, her tone when talking to him, in both game and book, is unusually... Flirty. And his reaction to her is visceral. He recoils and is tense, seemingly disgusted by her.

(Image Credit to @another-darksiders-blog )

These pages aren't exactly overt in what happened, but its very, very heavily implied that Lilith took advantage of Death and slept with him. Given his reactions to her, I dint exactly think he was very willing in these... Acts.

And further more, Lilith was actually counting on Death to resurrect and choose the Nephilim at the Well, as if he were the same Death she once knew, as if he hadn't changed. So I would be very, very unsurprised if she had sexually assaulted Death in some manner and abused him in other ways.

Overall it seems as if Death has had awful life experiences and copes by pushing others away and being angry. He's sarcastic and tends to not respond when called out (ie. Eideard asking "Isn't that what frightens you" when Death makes a snide joke about not having a soul).

In short, Death isn't a good person. He is a man shaped by horror and brutality and he struggles to adapt to new thinking, and struggles with emotion. However, I do think by the end of 2, he's changed for the better.

#character analysis #darksiders #darksiders 2 #darksiders death #horseman death #four horsemen of the apocalypse #darksiders 2 dethinitive edition

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tetsunabouquet · 1 month

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KNB Headcanon: Mental Health

A/N: We know about Akashi's weirdly written split personality already and whilst I'm not the person who's fond of diagnosing characters there are a few I definitely want to talk about.

-Aomine Daiki: Many have stated they think this man is depressed already, and I do agree with the general consensus. The consistent habits of sleeping on the rooftop, the way how even his friendship with Momoi became more strained, makes it clear he's mentally in a dark place and pretty exhausted with his own talent.

-Speaking of the To-Oh team, Sakurai. I already mentioned in my headcanon about Hyuga, that I feel like Sakurai's apologetic nature shouldn't have been treated like a joke or something to mock as I think he hides some deeper issues. His low self-esteem and self-blaming nature filled with loathing for himself makes me think he's either been bullied since childhood or he has an abusive relative. Children who grow up in an highly critical/verbally abusive households typically develop patterns like apologizing for every god damn thing as their parents will treat their child as an emotional punching bag and they are held responsible for things outside of their control all the time. I swear, To-Oh is the most emotionally broken team after Teiko Middle School.

-Mitobe. His refusal to talk whilst he has the ability does make my own autism radar tingle. I've never met a person outside of the autistic community who hates being verbal. I do think he has some high functioning autistic qualities, but his great emotional support system of his family and friends definitely seemed to have provided him with some preventive treatment to the point he just can flow along in his social life. I also think he's somewhat parentified with the care he provides for his younger siblings.

-Speaking of his friend group, Koganei. The way he lacked focus on how to spend his energy prior to Seirin and how he's stated to hate sitting still just gives me the vibes that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but he's one of the lucky ones that has been outgrowing his ADHD. Which is why he might be able to read Mitobe so well. There are plenty of people who have ADHD and autism and if Koganei did attended some ADHD program as a child he might have made some childhood friends on the spectrum. Perhaps that might be how they became friends considering they go way back.

-This ADHD conversation obviously brings me to the one and only Kotaro Hayama. This boy is like the posterchild of ADHD and he's definitely one of those people who isn't outgrowing their ADHD diagnosis. This boy lives his life energetically and unapologetically, and he will be that way as an adult too.

-Kiyoshi: See my tragic teddybear headcanon. This boy is parentified too because of how much care he gives back to his grandparents. Kiyoshi isn't the one taken care of in his household, it's a give and take with how old they are.

Honorable mention:

-It's difficult to place Murasakibara. I've seen some people make autism claims, but Murasakibara shows plenty of behavior that's very much anti-autistic in a sense? Like his tsundere-like nature doesn't really fits with being honest to a fault like most autistic people are, etc. However, I do feel like he shows some signs of being emotionally stunted and to be at the level of a small child. What kind of mental health issue might be paired with it and if he'll outgrow most of his childlike mindset, are things I am not sure on.

#kuroko's basketball #knb #mental health #aomine #murasakibara atsushi #kiyoshi teppei #koganei shinji #mitobe rinnosuke #kotaro hayama #sakurai

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fuck-customers · 1 year

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Alright, so does anyone know how to politely tell a younger coworker that you dont like to be mentally diagnosed publicly? or at all? I swear, i wanna snap the little brat's neck, but i think it's his way of trying to communicate?

I'm in my early 40s, coworker is mid 20s(if i remember correctly.) Ever since he was first hired, he's been pretty chill. Got his work done, come in on time, always communicates whenever there's a problem or when he's not gonna make it in. Wonderful. Lately although, he's been a bit... annoying? That seems too heavy, but every time i do anything or say anything, 'Oh, you know that's a sign for OCD/ADHD/ect.' In ANYTHING I do.

For instance, last night. Whenever im closing I tend to stack my Put Backs accordingly to what aisle that they belong to. (Pens, Paper, Folders are all together because they go in the Office aisle, ect.) It helps so i can just put up those items on my cart and I go to the next aisle, items at the ready. This is the little system I've made for MYSELF, it helps make my night easier. Do people with mental complexities use the same system? Perhaps. Does that immediately means that I have them? No.

I'm not saying that I absolutely don't have SOMETHING going on with my brain, but that's MY business. And frankly, I dont care. I don't care to know, i dont care to get tested for them. I'm perfectly comfortable with my lifestyle.

He's gotten to the point where he's try to get me to take these stupid test AS I AM RINGING UP CUSTOMERS. WHY does it matter so much to him? Leave me ALONE

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cerastes · 2 years

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Man that autism post resonates so hard for me rn. Had a 'friend' of mine start randomly calling me an "egg" and "in denial" of being autistic because I... enjoy asmr and rock in my seat sometimes. Like straight up arguing with me over it in front of other people. It was so uncomfortable and really upset a few of our mutual autistic friends. Idk what this trend is but I hate it so much

No yeah that's outright disgusting, like it's one thing if someone autistic makes a gallow's humor post about it or not even necessarily something gallow's-ish, just, you know, talking about it, making a humorous spin on it, the works, that's totally fine, we all do it about our own life experiences. It's another thing entirely to make it into a trend or "fashion-nize" it as some sort of quirky personality trait that makes you a 'freaking awesome bean' or whatever and then do what this acquaintance of yours did, like, without even getting started with the use of 'egg' here and calling someone else an 'egg in denial', that's a whole other can of worms by itself, just going at someone with the whole "you're actually X you just don't know it yet" is incredibly irresponsible. One of my sincerely least favorite arcs of Tumblr is when this was happening to ADHD, and having to see a lot of friends reblog those posts like "oh no I identify to so many of these posts... Perhaps I Am One Of The Abnormals" like man, read the room, I'm The Abnormals, and I don't hold it against anybody, because I know for a fact that none of them meant anything negative by it nor did they mean to insult, and I know this because I know my friends, but it was a tough period of time to have a dashboard, and I can imagine anyone less secure about themselves, of their conditions, or of their online social group feeling upset or offended by it.

It's like (the most mainstream) mental health things all go through their own turn in the Trend Spotlight, and right now, it's autism, before that, it was ADHD, and many years ago, in a real Tumblr Classic, it was the whole anti-recovery stance ("um, drinking water isn't gonna help my depression, KAREN") that even some supposedly educated-ass people I personally know backed up for some reason that transmogrifies me into The Jonker for half a second before I calm down ("uhhh maybe some people had a bad time with their own therapy :(" shut the hell up and leave people making helpful little posts about stuff that's helped them alone). And even before that, it was the Wild West of people going ham self-diagnosis with absolutely everything they could, objectively the worst period, and it wasn't just self-diagnosis, it was sometimes diagnosis others, for instance, one person that shall remain politely unnamed one time responded to a vent post I made many years ago "hey those are signs of depression, you should get that checked out".

To me.

Not just an actual professional psychologist that literally does this shit for a living, but most importantly, someone they don't really know on the internet. That was one of the few times I've actually gotten so pissed I went off, because holy shit my man you can't just diagnose people like that, you may be unknowingly predisposing someone who otherwise was just having a bad day into actually developing depression, which is a thing that happens.

I'm not going to say "stop talking about my field reeee" on the contrary, mental health needs more discussion about it, but it needs to be given the proper respect a topic as weighty and sensitive as mental health deserves. Properly inform yourself and, to help with this, ask. Ask mental health professionals, ask autistic people, ask ADHD people, ask people with OCD, ask people with Schizophrenia, ask them what's up, and always keep in mind there's no universal experience. I wish these things were universal, it'd make my job much easier and life much easier for me and many more people, but it isn't the case, so tighten your pants and do your due diligence.

#And if you take an anti-recovery stance in any of my posts #that's an instant block.

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kokorowoutsu · 2 months

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-- RP: @skullboneandunown

skullboneandunown:

Donovan lets out a chuckle as he squishes her cheeks and boops her nose. "Kimonos. Those pretty dresses are called Kimonos, Little Sprout." He knows that decision depends on her parents, and he wouldn't mind teaching her about his home. "I'm sure the Kimono Girls would love you. They all have eeveeloutions, so Lucky would get along with their Pokemon." Professor Xavier strokes his chin, thinking about the scheduling. "For the most part, the children are separated by wing and grade. She'll be around children her age most of the time. The exception being recess." He smiles at the compliment of being more peaceful than Blueberry Academy. "Truthfully, the idea for a school like this came during my younger years. I was not much younger than you are now, in fact. I had come to know a few..gifted individuals that were like me. Mutants. We needed a safe haven to hone our abilities in peace without potentially endangering innocent lives if our powers were to get out of control. Thankfully, my family had more than enough funds to create a safe space. And so I had this facility built decades ago. It only became a school about twenty years ago, and publicly a decade or so." He pauses at the mention of opening a school in Galar. "I have thought about it, in fact. Opening another school. But I am not certain the other regions would be so open to the idea. One of the hopes for this school is to inspire coexistence between humans and those like us. If that can be achieved, then perhaps I will open another school."

"Kee...mow...nos...?" Willow's speech might have been her biggest issue besides showing signs of being on borderline autism and possibly ADHD which Ashe blamed herself for being she had been diagnosed with those issues when as a human but had left them unchecked and just... dealt with them, so to speak. At his name, Lucky rose his head, ribbons whirling at the mention of other eeveelutions. Willow looked at her godfather in wonder then. She grew up around Eevee and its evolutions with Sylveon, Leafeon, Espeon, and Umbreon, and not to mention Flannery's Flareon. They were very much entangled in her life, but did that fit her personally? Honestly... no. Ashe and Leon didn't believe so, but she had four years to learn and pick for herself as it were.

That being said, Ashe felt out of questions. She knew Willow would be safe here despite wanting to argue and shield her daughter from the world. Heaving a deep sigh, she takes in Xavier's story, finding it comforting that there were others that struggled -- and it wasn't just her. Maybe that was cruel of her to think so, but not being alone in the struggle meant her family had allies. Quietly, she leans back, taking her husband's hand as he ponders on the idea of more schools. "... Galar's youth could benefit from a school like this. The current champion who took my place, Savannah Hemsworth, may be icy, but I think even she would agree. I'll get you in contact with her should you want to consider it." That being said, he, too, was quiet. Both parents looked to their child now who turned her blue-green eyes from Donovan, a tilted head soon going after.

"Well, sunshine? What do you think?" Willow caught on pretty quick, and the pressure was a bit much as shown by her noises coming from her throat and her fidgeting hands, but Lucky was there to comfort her as was Bahamut quickly enough. "You won't be far from home -- and you won't be alone, sunshine. You'll make lots of friends who are just like you." Leon's voice spoke of a solemn promise. "And if anyone picks on you, you saw how everyone reacted." Ashe offered that kind of mom smile that would make even the strongest trainer feel a chill then. Willow felt confident in her parent's words, gripping Lucky's ribbon that had been offered.

Turning to Xavier then, she sat up straight in her godfather's lap. "I'd... 'ike t' at'en'... pl'eas'!" Ashe hadn't been expecting that but she looked relieved as did Leon. The partner pokemon did as well. Their daughter was growing up and while she didn't quite grasp the concept of school, in time, she would.

It was a big first step -- but Willow was showing just how brave she could be in taking it.

#skullboneandunown #ashe ;; ic #leon ;; ic #willow ;; ic

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ladyjanstories · 3 months

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There is no winning with chronic illnesses. They can be “manageable,” but they’re not really controllable. No matter how good a person is with diet, exercise, medications, and healthy routines, flare-ups still happen. I can try and try, and it won’t matter. My asthma, IBS, acid reflux, anxiety, depression, and/or fibromyalgia can decide to act up on a whim. I avoided the triggers. I did nearly everything right and still… chest pain or gut issues or depression goes up, or I have trouble standing.

Last month, I had a cancer scare. The lump turned out to be a cyst which will require monitoring. And then I had an episode of my head feeling very heavy, like I’d topple over if I stood up. My eyes kept closing and when I tried typing something to search, it ended up as gibberish. Except when I typed it, I knew I was typing the right letters. Only it wasn’t. It’s like when someone has a stroke and they think they’re speaking properly and the people who hear them know it’s nonsense. My speech was fine. Queue blood and urine tests to make sure I’m fine… and the result comes back with an issue. A marker that shouldn’t go above 7.5 is at 30.2. That marker is to look out for infection, inflammation, stroke, heart disease, etc. Now a few days before those tests I did miss a day of work with a fever (I thought I was cold and usual feeling crappy, turns out it was some chills and maybe not usual feeling crappy.) So I have to wait to test again and hopefully that score goes down. If it does, then it’s likely I’ve graduated to silent migraines— all the confusion, eye problems, and more without pain as a warning sign or symptom. Perhaps finally reached my quota.

But it sucks. I am trying here. I am really trying. I got a new position in the last 8 months and it’s like, my body still can’t calm down. I mean, I was diagnosed (though my doc keeps the door open in case a new symptom points to something else) with fibromyalgia before this new position. And I’ve most of my problems for decades. But none of them are ever controllable. None are ever done from making my life painful and hard and… I would really like to go a few months without a new level of pain or a new issue or a twist in how an illness operates or meds wearing off… it’s tiring. So tiring. And it feels almost made-up after awhile. Like, there’s no way this is all happening. At any moment someone is going to ask, “I thought you’d found a way to work with this?”

I thought I had. I thought I’d found out how to deal with everything in a way that my body accepted and then “breast cyst” and then silent migraines.

My new job requires 40hrs a week. I was doing 38 a week before. And somehow this 40 is so much. With everything happening, it feels like so much. When I feel like it’s ok, I get a surprise fever and this.

#chronic pain #chronic illness #fibromyalgia #chest pain #why

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randomkposts · 4 months

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I remember the starfish

I love Fire Emblem Fates. My favorite is Awakening, but Fates has a special place in my heart for all of its flaws, and plotholes I love to poke at. No malice meant, if I didn't care, I'd probably just leave it alone. Instead it takes up so much brainspace.

So I think I might want to write something a bit more themed another time, but for now I want to write some scattered thoughts.

First, If I were going to change just one thing, I would give Azura ,Kaze as a retainer. And Shura.

Why? It bugs me that she didn't have any retainers, and Corrin has 3 household staff, their teacher, a childhood best friend, and a Ninja, most of whom are willing to follow them even if they defect. That's pretty excessive, that they just have a small- personally loyal fighting force. And Kaze's just hanging around, a trained retainer not assinged to anyone. And really Mikoto, Azura is your niece, you can give her one retainer at least.

Kaze defecting to Nohr to protect his charge makes arguably more sense then his reasons for defecting to Nohr on Corrins behalf.

Azura recruiting Shura as a retainer, fits with the older of the Nohrian sibilings having a criminal retainer. They also have a personal history between them that would be intresting to explore in a support. A support with Ryoma would also be intresting, as Shura states his family used to serve the royal family until his principality was taken over by Mokushu, so learning more about that would be neat.

Speaking of retainers, Despite three Nobrian Siblings havinging a criminal as a retainer, the person with the weirdest retainers is Hinoka, for having the least retainer-like retainers in the game. And Ryoma has 2 ninjas as retainers, which perhaps says some odd things about his diplomatic choices.

Hinoka does her own chores, protects her retainers, and seems to barely know anything about Azama beforehand. Until we learn from her support with Niles in Revelations that Hinoka hired Setsuna for her skill in archery, I was almost convinced she was hired to annoy Takumi.

And yet they are the last retainers sticking around the Hoshidan royals when they are recruited in Revelations.

Hillarious. Baffling. Lends a diffrent weight to Hinokas support with Saizo in this route, not that it wasn't already weird, but there was more cause for suspicion.

Speaking of supports, Sakura takes Corrin's amnesia as a sign that Silas is cursed. Meanwhile, in Birthright Takumi gets mindwhammied and dragon posessed, and Sakura does nothing to try to help. Which to be fair, nither instance lasted long. Who knows if she could have done anything effective, but in the Conquest one she doesn't seem to take note of his dirastically changed attitude as something to worry about, yet was far quicker to diagnose Silas as "something was off. Maybe its cause Silas a stranger, and she doesn't want to see anything wrong with her closest brother, but I wonder what got her attention in the first place to draw that conclusion.

I haven't played Engage, but even without that I am pretty sure Corrin is the most watched avatar we have ever played. Their big sister Camilia and her retainers makes it 3 in a lifetime, as said by Selena/Severa.

"Selena: Lady Camilla! Sorry we got ahead of you. But you should have heard the horrible things Lord/Lady Corrin said to us. Even though we used to watch over them, they don't remember us at all. Sure, we always stuck to the shadows and never introduced ourselves... but still! I could cry right now. Really! I really could!

Beruka: All that time hovering... caring... watching... it was all for naught. They has no heart.

Camilla: Now, now, you two. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm certain they would remember, given more time. You simply must forgive them."

No wonder Corrin is so chill with Ryoma's Ninjas and other people following them around.

A headcanon, Odin/Owain can use dragon Veins. Anankos can hide his brand, but he can't undo that he is decended from the Exalted line of Ylisse, a heritige who also formed a pact which presumably involved drinking dragons blood. (That does seem to be a series consistant for how one gets a stats edge, with consent of the dragon being pretty important in how well they control it. )

He uses it once by accident. Leo did see it, but never confronts him on it. Maybe they might be siblings, but if this is what kept him alive and he's happy with living his life, then Leo isn't going to be the one to tell anyone. One of them may as well be happy.

If I were going to change something about the Fates Kids, I would mess with Shiro. Ryoma never told him until recruitment that he was royalty. So what if Shiro, figuring Ryoma is impotant, but not connecting the dots (as in cannon) comes to the (incorrect) conclusion that he is the next Saizo. And so comes with the Ninja class, alomg with some family drama, lol.

I would also tone down Soleil's supports, and add some depths to the other kids, but ninja Shiro creating some family drama with the retainers is a concept that amuzes me

I'll end it here for now. Might write a second at some point.

#fire emblem fates #azura fire emblem #kaze fire emblem #Shura fire emblem #saizo fire emblem #sakura fire emblem #silas fire emblem #random k #takumi fire emblem #odin fire emblem #owain fire emblem #fire emblem #shiro fire emblem

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barbex · 2 years

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happy friday!! perhaps a prompt from the angst/fluff list for fenders? :D “You need sleep.”

Thank you for this @dadrunkwriting prompt! Today with a soft Fenris.

---

Fenris climbs yet another set of stairs, taking a different route towards Anders' clinic. He knows seven different ways by now, not counting the secret entry in Hawke's basement. Why he has taken i upon himself to check on the mage every night, he isn't quite sure himself. It was a favor for Hawke, originally. She asked him to check on Anders because Merrill was crying and Hawke didn't want to leave her alone.

By now, it had become part of his routine. Every night, he walks down to the docks, and from there into the labyrinthine alleys and tunnels of Darktown. Usually, he just watches the door for a while from afar, how patients come into the clinic on by one, a lot of them late at night after work, with the marks of the mines on their bodies.

It was the mine workers that convinced Fenris that Anders is truly selfless in his healing. He doesn't use his magic to gain power, something that Fenris refused to believe at first. But seeing the mine workers limping into the clinic, the wrinkles around their eyes stark white in their dusted faces, blood dripping like black tar from head wounds, opened his eyes to the possibility that a mage could be good and kind.

A terrifying concept.

Fenris ducks out of an old tunnel and halts in his steps. A massive line stretches out in front of the clinic. He has never seen the clinic this busy. For a moment, he considers turning around, but then his feet carry him towards the door. Passing the people waiting, a few people grumble at him for skipping the line, but he ignores them. Inside the clinic, a human woman checks the patients over, taking down their names and symptoms and sorts them in three different lines.

"If you're not hurt, leave," she yells at Fenris as she hands a paper with a specific symbol to a man with an arm in a sling made from torn trousers.

Fenris leans his sword against the wall next to her desk and bows his head to the human woman. "Can I help?"

The woman looks him up and down and then nods. "I'm Lirenne, I'll take all the help I can get. I hope you're not squeamish about blood."

Fenris smiles as he takes off his gauntlets. "I'm very familiar with blood."

"Good. There's a whole bucket of bandages and pads that need to be washed, we're running out."

For at least an hour, Fenris washes bandages and hangs them up to dry. Occasionally, Lirenne calls him up to the front to scowl angrily at someone who isn't content with their place in line. All the while, Anders is diagnosing, healing, explaining, giving advice and taking notes for one patient after the other. He is so focussed on his work that he doesn't notice Fenris walking past him several times.

But Fenris watches him. He sees how he cares, and he sees how the mage works himself to exhaustion.

Finally, the line of patients ends and Lirenne closes the door. Anders sinks onto an overturned barrel and looks around with tired eyes. He notices Fenris at last, staring at him as he hangs up freshly washed bandages on a clothesline near the fire.

"Fenris?"

Fenris drapes the last bandage over the line and walks over to Anders. "Yes."

"Am I hallucinating?"

"No." Fenris looks down at Anders' trembling hands. "But it looks like you might do so soon." He fills a mug with water and hands it to Anders.

Anders drinks greedily and lets the empty mug dangle from his hand. "Are you injured?"

"No."

"You just came here and helped?"

"Yes."

Anders blinks a few times. "Why?"

"I don't know," Fenris answers honestly.

A smirk makes Anders' lips twitch. "Sometimes we shouldn't ask for reasons too much, right?"

"Probably." Fenris takes Anders' arm and pulls him up. It is a sign of Anders' exhaustion that he doesn't even struggle against Fenris' hold.

"Where are we going?"

"You need sleep, mage."

Anders holds his hand up in front of his eyes and frowns when he sees it shaking. "You're probably right. But why do you care?"

Fenris doesn't even know himself. He just knows that he cares. About this mage. "Sometimes we shouldn't ask for reasons too much."

"Ah, clever, using my own words against me." Anders chuckles, sounding slightly hysterical as he crumbles onto the rickety cot he calls his bed. "Are you gonna watch over me?"

Fenris sits down on a wobbly chair. "Yes."

Anders looks up. "Really? Now I know I'm definitely hallucinating."

"Go to sleep, mage."

"Alright." Anders lies back down and closes his eyes. His features soften and his breathing slows. Just as Fenris thinks he has fallen asleep, the mage speaks again. "You better be here when I wake up."

Fenris draws in a sharp breath. He didn't have any plan but now he will stay. "I promise I'll be here."

"Good," Anders mumbles, his speech slurring. "Lovely Fenris watching over me..."

Lucky for Fenris, nobody can see him blush.

#dadrunkwriting #fenders #Fenris #Anders #fenders fic #Fenris x Anders #dragon age #dragon age fanfiction #my writing

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giraffefeather · 5 months

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Hi, I'm drunk on wine and too deep in astrology, read more included as a courtesy.

Everything makes so much sense. Like I was one of the "Ooh astrology is so cool but totally not real" girlies, but uh...

Quick reference: I am pisces sun, gemini moon, aquarius rising. And right off the bat, I always notice before anyone else when I start talking too much (gemini stereotype) and always question if I'm being manipulative or not (hi again, bad side of gemini) but try so so hard not to (oh hey, there you are pisces). I can never pick a goddamn side in an argument (ahem, pisces? gemini? both known to see both or all sides). Meanwhile, I attract the "outcasts," for lack of better word - the people that don't always fit in (hello aquarius, ya weird little noodle).

Okay but then we have the VENUS. God, the amount of times I questioned if I was asexual, but then dated friends and thought no... thats not right... must be demi. And then I'll enjoy sex for a while, get really obsessed for like a week. but get bored of it and move on to something else. And I'm thinking... huh, is this autism? Adhd? Perhaps. But ALSO have you read up on venus in aquarius? That bastard is 100% on my love life.

Hi, quick disclaimer. I absolutely believe neurodivergency is something not assigned by the stars. It is a separate matter entirely. I am NOT diagnosed with anything, and although I have tendencies that align with both autism and adhd, it does not affect my daily life enough to seek diagnosis. I just think it's interesting that it may not be a true neurodivergency in my case, but just aligning with my signs.

I skipped mercury, hold up, that's aquarius too. It fits, but it's boring. Except the bit I read where they dislike schedules, especially if paired with a Pisces sun (hello, called me out).

And I was so mad that my Mars was in leo, thinking no no no, I can't have a Leo anywhere in my chart, that's not right! Bitch, it fits. All of it. 100% turn into a Leo when I'm angry. Other parts of Mars (motivation, sex, etc) seem to be muted by the rest of my signs, but anger? Aggression? Yikes, hello Leo loud intensity.

And I just think it's interesting that my least favorite sign (Capricorn... sorry, I just have met too many manipulative Caps) is also my Uranus and Neptune.

But back to my favorite sign (Aquarius!), I have 3 of those fuckers and I wonder if it's why I always love other Aquas. Or of it's just because my dad is an Aqua sun. But my mom is a Taurus sun and while I never thought I had attachment to the sign (I love my mom, I just see her flaws too), my best friend growing up was a Taurus, and that's the sign I can spot a mile away. Hell, I worked with someone who reminded me so much of my mom, that it didn't even surprise me when I found they shared a birthday. I wa just like oh... yeah that makes sense, you're basically the same person.

And following true Pisces comparability, I've been dating a Virgo for 7 years. Since day 1, I've been saying we're opposites but it works. And then find out that's one of the most recommended pairings for a Pisces sun for that exact reason. To balance each other out. And as Virgo is literally the only sign not to be found on my chart, i need that energy in my life. Funny, I always used to love libras before him. But isn't that just typical of libras - their allure? And I would kill for an Aqua friend, please someone come talk to me about conspiracies and cryptic!

I still need to delve into Jupiter and beyond, see if those actually fit. I'm starting to suspect they will.

But what if that's just my pisces dreaming, understanding every sign so that of course whatever I have fits? Then... do we question that I fit the pisces personality too? Or am I just a wishy-washy person, and believe everything?

Interesting that a simple Google search reveals so much about the signs too... and not even with the info available. I've found that there's so many hits if you search pisces, possibly more than any other sign. Gemini has plenty, too. But Leo? Sagittarius? A huge decline in results. And if looking at images on Google, its even more pronounced. Pisces and Gemini have so many artistic interpretations. Leo? I found like... 1 cool lion. Compared to the millions of fish and mermaid art with pisces.

#ramble #astrology #beginner astrology

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