#i always say this to other people now because it feels nice tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thetriumphantpanda · 8 months

Text

where you want your gift, girl? | Joel Miller

Summary | It’s your birthday and Joel, knowing it’s not your favourite celebration, is keen to show you that it‘s not always going to be a bad day, not if he can help it.

Warnings | birthdays, allusions to strained parental relationships, food & alcohol consumption, smoking of (1) cigarette, no/pre-outbreak AU, gift giving, explicit smut, rough sex, choking/breath play, brief spit play, oral sex (F Receiving), safe unprotected sex, dirty talk, creampie, cumplay, literally just filth tbh, no use of y/n.

Word Count | 4.2K

Authors Note | Honestly? It’s my birthday today and all I want is for Joel Miller to fucking rail me to celebrate - we can’t have everything we want I suppose, so we’ll have to deal with writing our fantasies instead! Happy Birthday to me - Enjoy!

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

You’d never really enjoyed birthdays. Other people’s, sure. The opportunity to treat your friends and make other people happy was something you’d always loved, but when it was you as the centre of attention, you almost hated it. The way people would train their eyes on you as you opened their gifts, the anxiety that you felt not knowing what it would be and whether you’d have to pretend it was the best thing in the world when you could think of a million things you needed above what they’d given you. It always made you feel ungrateful. Birthdays aren’t as exciting as you get older either, just another reminder of how far behind the rest of your friends you are, how little you seemed to have accomplished next to them in the same amount of years.

It was no different this year, not really. Your mother had phoned you before you’d gone to work, asked if you received the card she’d sent in the post that had the customary $100 stuffed into it, before chiding you for not doing as you said you would last time you spoke and find a new job, something more challenging, related to that degree you’d spent all her money on. You sigh and hang up the phone before she can say anything else, a mumbled sorry that you were running late but thank you for the card.

The only saving grace for your birthday this year was the fact it was a Friday, so you didn’t have to worry about drinking too much beer and having to go to work the next morning with a hangover. To their credit, your work colleagues had been quite nice to you - they’d pooled together to get you a gift card for you to spend on whatever you’d like, and Sandra from accounts had made you a birthday cake – red velvet because it was your favourite. Once everyone had eaten a slice, she put a Tupperware on your desk with two more generous slices in it, winking at you before walking away.

“For your handsome boyfriend.” She’d said, giggling as she walked away.

There was another saving grace for your birthday, you supposed. Joel Miller. Who had burst into your life in a whirlwind eight months ago when his beautiful daughter had spilled her hot chocolate all over your crisp new shirt in her hurry to get to the table so she could drink it. He’d been the most apologetic you ever thought you’d seen a man, helping you to wipe the worst of it off with napkins whilst Sarah profusely apologised next to you. You’d put a comforting hand on her shoulder, told her it was okay, and that you understood entirely, you’d have been as excited as her to drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. Joel had insisted on paying for your dry cleaning, something you’re pretty sure only ever happened in films, and when you’d phoned him to tell him it really had been a minimal amount, he’d asked to take you to dinner instead, and the rest really was history.

He’s phoning you now, his name popping up on the front screen of your phone, you smile as you answer it.

“Hello, handsome.” You greet.

“Good afternoon,” His southern drawl hits your ears, “Happy birthday, my darlin’ girl.”

God, he makes you so happy, “Thank you, cowboy.”

“You want me to pick you up and take you for dinner?” He asks, “Tommy is gonna look after Sarah tonight, so I’m all yours, whatever you wanna do.”

You think for a second, sure, dinner out is a nice idea, but it’s been a long week, and you think what you want most is to be at home with him, “You think you could grill me a steak and let me drink beer on your couch instead?” You ask, slightly embarrassed that this is all you want for your birthday.

“If that’s what you want, darlin’, then I’ll grill you the best steak of your life,” He chuckles, and then you can hear him cover the phone and speak to Sarah, who must be just back from school, “Sarah wants to speak to you real quick.”

He passes the phone and it’s Sarah’s sweet voice that greets you next, “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you, honey,” You smile, “You looking forward to some time with your Uncle Tommy?”

“He’s gonna take me to the movies,” You can hear the grin on her face, “I already heard dad telling him not to feed me too much candy, but he never listens,” You chuckle, “I got you a present,” She speaks again, “I gave it to dad so you can open it later.”

“Ahhh you sweet girl,” You coo, “I’m sure I’ll love it,” You reassure, “And I’ll be there tomorrow so I can thank you in person.”

“Alright,” She replies, “Dad wants the phone back, but have a nice birthday with him!”

You say goodbye to her, and then Joel tells you he’ll be waiting for you when you finish to bring you home. It’s only two hours until the end of the day, but you struggle to focus on the emails you’ve got to answer – you get through as few as is acceptable before the end of the day, logging out at exactly 5:30pm, box of cake clutched in your hand, handbag slung over your shoulder as you head out.

Joel is leaning against the side of his truck, arms crossed over his chest so his biceps are bulging in the flannel he’s wearing, he’s also got one of his ankles crossed over the over. He looks so casual but as devastatingly handsome as he always is. He slips an arm around your waist when you’re close enough, pushing his palm into your lower back to press your body to his, dipping down to press his lips to yours. He’s gentle with it, opening his mouth against yours so he can slip his tongue into your mouth, letting his tongue meld with your own, kissing you slowly, like he’s got all the time in the world.

“Get a room, you two!” It’s Sandra from accounts.

Joel pulls away just enough to laugh against your lips, pressing his to yours once more before pulling away properly, opening the car door for you to get in, pressing a light swat of his hand to your ass as you hoist yourself up into the truck.

Once he’s slipped into the driver's side and settled one of his hands on your upper thigh, he starts the drive from the city out to his house. It’s a quiet drive, Joel’s humming along to whatever is playing on the radio, you’re occupied with looking out the window. This is what you love about Joel, that he’ll sit in silence, won’t feel the need to make you talk, it makes you feel comfortable, knowing that he’s there when you need him, but he’s not going to force you to speak when you don’t want to.

He’s pulled into the drive in no time, picking up the grocery bags from the backseat. You try and peak inside to see what he’s bought; you’re hoping he’s got the ingredients to make those mashed potatoes you like, and mushrooms that he’ll cook on the grill too.

When he opens the door, you’re almost overwhelmed by the sight that greets you. There are gold and black balloons littering the floor, with one bigger helium balloon, weighted down so it doesn’t float along the ceiling, set in the corner with big ‘happy birthday’ lettering written on it. There’s a birthday banner pinned to the wall, and a selection of wrapped gifts on the coffee table. You have a sneaking suspicion that most of this is Sarah’s doing.

You giggle a little as Joel presses himself against your back, kissing at your neck, “How much of this was Sarah?” You ask, following him through to the kitchen.

“She blew up all those balloons before she went to bed last night, and she did all the wrapping, but the banner and the big balloon, that was all me, baby.”

You press your lips to his cheek, smiling as he starts unloading the grocery bags. Two ribeye steaks, and just like you wanted, mushrooms to grill, and potatoes to mash. He leaves you in charge of watching the potatoes whilst he grills the rest of the food outside. Whilst it’s resting, he mashes the potatoes with enough butter to clog your arteries, but when you sit at the table, and those potatoes are in your mouth, you can’t find it in you to care - it’s your birthday after all.

“Everythin’ alright, baby?” He asks, cutting into his steak.

“It’s perfect,” You grin, spearing a grilled mushroom onto your fork, “Better than sitting in a stuffy restaurant anyway.”

You finish your food in relative silence. Joel insists on doing the dishes even if he did most of the cooking, before he’s leading you back to the living room.

Joel sits you down on the couch, treading as carefully as he can through the trail of balloons to get you a fresh beer. He kneels down on the floor between you and the coffee table, taking a glug of his beer, before reaching across the table for the first gift, setting it in your lap.

“That one is from Sarah,” He explains, “She made me promise you would open it first.”

“Rules are rules,” You shrug with a chuckle, carefully tearing open the wrapping paper.

When you pull the paper from the material it was wrapped in you feel overwhelmed. It’s the exact same blouse that Sarah had tipped her hot chocolate over, just in black instead of white. The shirt had been a write off from the start, the chocolate leaving a stain that even the dry cleaner couldn’t get out.

“She saved her pocket money for months to buy this,” He murmurs, pinching the silky fabric between his fingers, “Said if it was what brought us together, she wanted you to be able to wear it.”

You can feel tears prickling at your eyes as you fold the material up carefully, “She’s such a special girl, Joel.” You whisper, watching as Joel leans back over the table to pick up another gift.

“This one’s from Tommy.” He murmurs, handing you the largest box on the table.

You rip the paper off and open the box, revealing an actual cowboy hat. You laugh, because Tommy has always said in order to properly fit in, you’d need a cowboy hat. Joel reaches into the box, pulling the brown Stetson out of its box, placing it on your head.

“Suits you, cowgirl,” He growls, leaning under the brim of the hat to kiss you, nibbling your bottom lip as he pulls away, “Keep it on.” He demands when you go to take it off.

“He didn’t need to get me a gift,” You mutter as Joel moves the two final gifts towards you, “And it’s a proper Stetson, this must have cost a fortune.”

“Not that it matters, because everyone in this household thinks the world of you, but he thrifted it, mainly because you’ve rubbed off on him and he thinks getting a pair of Levi’s for half price because someone doesn’t want them anymore is the best thing since sliced bread.”

You tilt the hat on your head a little so you can see under the brim, as he hands you an envelope this time, “These are from me.”

You open the envelope and pull out a postcard with a from New Orleans. You turn the card over, Joel’s handwriting scrawled on the back.

“Pack a bag baby, and let me take you away.”

“Are you for real?!” You exclaim, “You’re going to take me to New Orleans?!”

“Course I am, darlin’ girl,” He grins, “I know you’ve always wanted to go, and we’ve never been away together.”

“Are you even real?” You ask, wiping your tears away, because you’re overwhelmed, no-one has ever been so thoughtful.

“Last time I checked I was,” He chuckles, taking the postcard from your hands, replacing it with the last gift, a small box, “Go on, last one.”

You take it from his hand, tearing the paper off it to reveal a small box. You open it, and sat inside is a silver necklace, a silver hoop, entwined with a smaller hoop. You’d recognise this anywhere. You’d spotted it in the window of the jewellery shop downtown. You’d spend so long looking at it in the window before deciding you couldn’t afford it, yet here it is, in your hands.

“Joel,” You breathe, running your fingers over the delicate silver, “This is too much.”

He presses a single finger to your lips to shut you up, holding his hand out for the box, taking the necklace out as he pushes himself up onto the couch, putting the delicate chain across your neck, “Do you like it?” He asks from behind you, mouth right at your ear, breath hot on your skin.

You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling your hat fall off your head as he returns the embrace, “I love it Joel,” You murmur into the skin of his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’ girl.”

You spend the rest of the evening curled up on the couch together. You eat the slices of cake that Sandra had sent you home with, drink more beer, Joel even sits with his guitar outside, playing some of your favourite songs whilst you smoke a cigarette. When the sun has fully set and you’ve let out a particularly loud yawn, Joel closes up the house, takes hold of your hand, and takes you to bed.

You’re led against the sheets, getting yourself comfortable, when Joel comes back from the bathroom, leaning against the door with his thumb resting on his belt. He’s lookin at you with those deep, coffee-coloured orbs as you turn onto your side, propping your head up on your palm to look at him.

“How do you want it, baby?” He smirks, taking slow steps towards the bed.

You take your bottom lip between your teeth, because that is a very good question. Do you want him to be soft and slow like he had been that first time? So concerned he was going to hurt you with his size and strength that he refused to go any harder or faster than was strictly necessary? Or the time he made love to you after you’d looked after Sarah when he had to work late. When he’d walked into his house and found you painting her nails for her, watching a film that he’d never had sat through, his heart bursting with so much love that he had to push it all into you, whispering promises into your ear as he did so. No, you think, that’s not what you want right now.

“I want you to fuck me, cowboy,” You rasp, “Hard.”

He’s stood at the foot of the bed now, eyes dark with lust, “Well, what the birthday girl wants,” He murmurs softly, wide, warm palm clasping around your ankle, “The birthday girl gets.”

He tugs at your ankle, pulling you down the bed in one swoop, your legs dangling over the edge as his fingers work the button of your work trousers loose. You lift your hips up so he can drag them, and your underwear off your body, before he tugs you into a sitting position to work your blouse over your head. Your palms cup his face as you kiss him, your lips giving attention to his plush bottom lip as his hands reach behind you and work the clasp of your bra undone, dragging that off your body so you’re finally bared naked to him.

He pulls back, trails his eyes over your naked body, before placing his hand on your chest, right between your breasts, pushing you back down onto the bed. He trails his hands down the expanse of your sides, coming to the meat of your thighs as he settles his face between them. Normally this is where he’d tease you, use that mouth to trail soft kisses up and down the inside of your thighs, stopping to nip at the soft skin every once in a while, but he surprises you tonight.

Joel uses the flat of his tongue to lick a single stripe up the seam of your pussy. Then, he takes his hands, puts them on the backs of your thighs to push your legs back towards you, spreading them open further, baring the entirety of your spread, aching cunt to his face, before that tongue of his is diving into you, licking the slick that has been slowly gathering there from you, groaning at your taste. He drags his tongue up to your clit, using the tip of it to lightly flick at your clit, which has a quiet whimper leaving your lips as you tangle your fingers in his soft curls to keep his head anchored right where it is.

You’ve never really known a man quite as enthusiastic about eating your pussy as Joel Miller. The way he groans into your cunt as he laps at you, the way his fingers dig bruises into your skin as he holds your legs open for him, it all adds to the way he has your teetering on the edge of your first orgasm of the night in minutes. You’re bucking your hips into his face, chasing that burst of pleasure you know is so close to you.

You can hear the obscene sounds from him, the way he sucks your clit into his mouth, rolls his tongue over it before letting it go with a pop, or the way he literally slurps the slick from your entrance. It’s when he slips two of his fingers inside your slick cunt that you’re really done for – fingers stretching you open, a poor substitute for what’s to come, but it’s good none-the-less.

All of a sudden, that fiery burst of pleasure is setting your skin alight. Your body is arching off the bed, pushing your cunt further into Joel’s face as he sucks your clit through your orgasm. You can feel yourself clenching around his fingers as you let out as high-pitched shriek of his name as your body wracks with pleasurable aftershocks. You lie there, warm and pliant as Joel stands once he’s worked you through your orgasm. He takes off his shirt, and you marvel at that body, the one you get to enjoy, broad and strong for his work, but soft around the middle, just like you love. He’s looking you directly in the eye as he undoes the button on his jeans, belt from earlier seemingly lost in the bathroom before. You’re smirking as he drags his jeans and boxers down his legs, stepping out of them, stood before you in all his God damn glory.

He is, quite possibly, the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Especially when he’s got his cock gripped in his fist, pumping himself as you spread your legs for him, pushing yourself up the bed so he can settle between your thighs.

You can feel the throbbing length of him slipping between your soaked folds as he finds a position, he’s comfortable with. You’re the one that reaches down between you and lines his cock up with your aching core, but it’s all Joel when he thrusts himself inside you, right to the hilt, in one go. He’s leaning forward, head rested in the crook of your neck, your name hissed out into your ear as he adjusts to the tight clench of your cunt. Your nails are already digging into the meat of his biceps when he drags himself out of you, before slamming back in.

He revels in the way his rough thrusts make your tits bounce, dipping his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth, gently nipping at the puckered bud with his teeth before soothing it with the pad of his tongue. He laves the same attention to the other, never once letting up the pace of his hips.

“This what you wanted, darlin’ girl?” He chokes out, looking down at you writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“More.” You gasp, hand reaching to grab at his wrist which is planted by the side of your head, propping him up.

He puts most of his weight on his other hand, letting you drag his other palm to the delicate column of your throat, where the sheer size of his hand covers it in its entirety. He rests it there for a moment, continuing to pound his cock into your pussy, but then he’s adding pressure to the side of your throat, giving you that delicious dizzy feeling to your brain, before he’s releasing the pressure. You’re grinning up at him, moaning his name as his hips continue to slam into your own.

“Like that, don’t ya?” He asks, “God you look so fuckin’ good with my hand around your throat, pretty girl.”

“Always fuck me so good, Joel,” You cry out when he shifts his position slightly, cock brushing that sweet spot inside you, “Do it again.”

So he does, he squeezes his fingers around your throat again, your mouth dropping open as a crazed giggle leaves your mouth. You wish you could step outside your body right now and watch, watch what the two of you look like – his hand around your throat, the way he’s pounding into you so hard you’re sure you’ll be sore in the morning.

You’re both breathing heavily as he trails the hand that was around your throat to grip at your jaw. He squishes your cheeks together, pursing your lips as his mouth claims your own, growling into you as his tongue licks at yours. He’s so fucking overwhelming right now, thick cock splitting you in two, strong body laid across your own, mouth on yours, and it’s still not enough. You want to peel his skin off and climb inside him, let him consume you whole.

Joel pulls back, hand still on your jaw.

“You my pretty girl, huh?” He asks, and you can only nod, his hand stopping you from talking, “Belong to me, right?”

His hand goes back down to grip your throat, gently though, with no pressure, so you can talk to him now.

“All yours Joel,” You purr at him, “Only ever gonna be yours.”

“Open your mouth,” He demands, using his hand to gently shake you, so you do, “Stick your tongue out.”

You do just that, staring straight into his eyes as he leans down, ever so slightly, and spits into your mouth. It’s warm, wet and utterly filthy, and you think it’s the entire reason that you can feel your slick dripping down onto his sheets now. Joel doesn’t even give you the time to swallow, chasing the saliva he’s just put into your mouth with his tongue, giving you the sloppiest kiss you’ve ever received.

“Fuck,” He spits out, pulling back from your mouth, “Ain’t gonna last much longer, darlin’ girl,” He confesses, those rough thrusts slowing ever so slightly, “Put your hand on your clit for me, let’s do this one together.”

Your hand slinks between your bodies, seeking out that sensitive bud, still reeling from the orgasm he pulled from you, it doesn’t take much work from your fingers to have you teetering on the edge, but you want to do this together, you have to hold on for him.

“Where d’ya want it?” Joel chokes out as your pussy flutters around him.

“Inside,” Comes your begging plea to him, “Come inside me, Joel.”

Your work your fingers across your clit a few more times before you’re coming around his cock, the nails of your free hand digging half-moon shapes into the meat of his shoulder. He manages three, maybe four more thrusts before he’s stilling inside of you, grunting out your name as the white-hot spurt of his spend fills your aching cunt. He fills you up so perfectly, holding himself there for a moment before he lets out a slightly pained sound, pulling himself out of your pussy.

He sits back on his knees, watching the white trickle of him cum seep from your spent hole. He takes one of his fingers, scooping his cum on it before bringing it to your lips, where you suck it into your mouth, running your tongue over it to catch every bit of the taste of him. He falls forward, forehead pressed to your own, kissing your lips softly, before he moves to lie on his side of the bed.

You push yourself up into a sitting position, leaning over to kiss him softly, mumbling that you’ll be back in a minute as you pad to the bathroom to clean up. When you come back to his room, he’s already under the covers, your side pushed back and waiting for you, so you clamber in, seeking out his torso under the covers so you can wrap your arm around him. He pulls you flush to his body, slick and warm from sweat, but you don’t care.

His arm is draped across your shoulder, his fingers tracing slow and soft across your skin, as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Happy birthday, darlin’ girl.” He whispers to you as he turns out the light.

“Best birthday ever,” You mumble softly against his chest as you let your heavy eyes closed, “All because of you, cowboy.”

589 notes · View notes

scenezfreak · 11 months

Note

HI POOKIE ITS YOUR FAVORITE REQUESTER AND I TOOK YOUR OFFER, MY EMOJI IS NOW 🍑 BECAUSE IM IMMATURE >:) ANYWAYS WHAT WOULD JEFF, LIU, AND TOBY BE LIKE WITH A SLUTTY S/O WHO NEEDS THEIR COCK ATLEAST ONCE A DAY AT MINIMUM??🤭

-LIZ🍑

YUHH HI 🍑ANON 🤭 ITS OK IM IMMATURE TOO LMAO, also imma start adding better images to my posts so it isn’t just a fucking red line 💀

Jeff, Liu, and Toby with a slutty S/O

NOT PROOF READ, MINORS DNI !!!

Jeff:

• He’d probably get fed up with you constantly needing his cock and would fuck you dumb so you couldn’t even ask for more.

• He would have you bent over a surface roughly fucking into you saying “Take my cock since you want it so bad”

• He wouldn’t fuck you just once, god no- he’d fuck you until you’re begging him to stop and even then you’ll be lucky if he even decides to give you a break

• When you do ask him to stop he’d grab your face, forcing you to look at him and say, “You’re the one who begged for my cock, so now you’ll take it.”

• You guys do have a safe word if it gets too much for you but you truly don’t want him to stop and he knows that too

Bonus: Jeff forced you to bend over a counter in an unknown house, you’re too needy for him to wait until you guys get home so he takes you in the house of the people you guys had just killed. “‘m sorry, Jeff…you just looked so hot fighting and killing that guy…” you whimper out, he puts a hand on your head, forcing your face to squish against the countertop, blood from his hands smearing on your face and on your hip from where he’s grabbing you. He starts grinding against you the curve of your ass. “Since you wanna act like such a whore, I’ll treat you like one.”

Liu:

• like Jeff, he’d fuck you dumb but on accident..

• He just wants to please you and accidentally goes too far, tbh I don’t think he’d be able to stop himself either

• How could he say no when you’re begging so nicely for his cock?

• He’s literally so in love with you it’s insane, he’d be giving you more than you asked for

Bonus: You had just cum for the 5th time and he’s still going, you can’t get enough of him and he can’t get enough of you. He starts speeding up and you can’t help but dig your nails into his back as he bullies your insides. There’s cum everywhere between your thighs and on him. The wet slapping sounds fill the room along with your moans and his grunts.

Toby:

• HE would be the one begging for sex and of course you’d comply since you were always horny for him

• He’d fuck into you so greedily like he hast just ruined you that morning

• After a round he’d ask, “Come on, one more for me, ok baby? Just one more” he demands it but it comes out as more of a beg

• Poor baby would make himself brain dead from cumming so much

Bonus: “Fuc- Fuck!” He groans as he cums inside of you again, keeping himself still inside of you he looks up with his puppy eyes, “Please j-just one- one more?” He asks. Breathless from just cumming you nod your head and he goes in for a kiss, his hands on your hips, using them as leverage to fuck into you again.

♡BONUS CHARACTER!♡

Eyeless Jack:

• He’s busy a lot so he doesn’t really have much time to fuck you when you’re needy

• BUT if you’re persistent enough he’ll definitely fuck your brains out

• On his heat tho?!?!?!?!? GYAT DAYUMMM. HES the whore then…

• Constantly begging for you, and who are you to refuse?

Bonus: “Y/n I can’t, I’m busy right now.” He says sternly. You huff and get on the ground to crawl under the desk. He jolts when you unzip his jeans, pulling his cock out. He starts to harden at the sight, you on your knees, your eyes big and begging as you rub his cock. You licking your lips as you bring your other hand to fondle with his balls. “Please Jack..?” You said pathetically. He stares at you for a while, you feel him twitch in your hands. “I guess a small break won’t hurt.” He says.

#creepypasta #jeff the killer #jeff the killer smut #smut #creepypasta smut #homicidal liu #toby rogers #tobias rogers #Toby smut #eyeless jack #eyeless jack smut #liu woods #Liu woods smut

907 notes · View notes

thatdeadaquarius · 11 months

Note

Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot

Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...

Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.

Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.

Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?

WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-

On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs

But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Scenario

Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),

& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.

You were not a very confident writer.

This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.

You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.

things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.

If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…

So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,

You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.

Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.

Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.

You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world

After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)

Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???

you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-

and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-

His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,

“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”

…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),

and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all

you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!

◇

Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.

You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???

You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???

(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)

You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:

you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-

you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-

oh my god-

Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-

You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.

You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.

“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”

Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)

and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!

Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-

But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??

Like he’s done nothing wrong???

You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!

He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.

Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.

“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”

…

….Motherfucker.

☆

Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,

1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!

Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!

Safe Travels Anon,

That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]

Iced coffee?? :0

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#hello i live #i just took a longer than normal break between posting bc the gifts were vv big and i had holidays/job searching to do #which i am still looking #but its better now #also gonna start linking my kofi if anybody is feeling generous! :]#sagau #genshin sagau #genshin isekai #my asks #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact isekai #genshin x reader

1K notes · View notes

rendezvouz-fling · 1 year

Text

Astro Observations #20

• Is it just me or do most saturnian moons (Aqua/Cap) tend to grow up with single mothers who only care about making money and having multiple boyfriends? Lmao.

• I feel bad for Gemini risings with Aries mercuries because they’re so genuine and they might be very chatty but it’s their biggest love language.🤎 I think this might also apply to just about every other Gemini rising too!

• I feel bad for Aries moons with Libra mercuries/risings because yes they can be a little hot headed but they won’t be flat out bold and they might beat around the bush a lot! On the other hand though when they’re really arguing with somebody they might switch to intellect and surprisingly demolish that person.✋🏽

• People with mercury at a Fire degree (1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 23, 29) love to exaggerate things! Calling myself out too, chile!😩😂

• Virgo suns with Cancer venuses and Leo mars can be very sweet and caring but also very scorning, abrasive and wants themselves/their partner & kids to look/dress their best almost all the time! Pretty much the always picture-ready type moms.

• You better believe that even if a Sagittarius moon won’t say it they might feel hurt and start detaching until they’re completely gone out of your life and you’re left wondering what went wrong.

• Tbh idk why but Libra mercuries also be out here saying mean, out-of-pocket stuff just not normally in people’s faces so maybe that’s why their friends might not take them seriously.

• Whereas Aries mercuries probably have a reputation of arrogance and downright disrespectfulness but they can also be very nice especially if you’re close with them. You’ll notice they just like to cuss for fun lol.

• Scorpio mercuries need to stop being on interrogation mode!😭

• Gemini mercuries be telling some of the funniest stories and their facial expressions/hand gestures make it even more funnier than it has to be.😭🤣

• Dear Cancer mercuries, you guys are so thoughtful and caring Ilysm!

• Capricorn mercuries, you’re not boring and I love how also detail oriented you are!

• Can I just say Cap mercuries so be out here clowning too! 😂 I have a close friend who’s a Cap sun & mercury and she says funny things often, she just has a very articulate way of speaking but besides that she’s hilarious!🤣

• I recently noticed people with Air/Earth placements tend to have speech impediments and other stuff. E.g. my little sister is a Virgo sun/moon & Libra stellium and she can’t pronounce the letter ‘R’. I have a Gemini rising at 23 degree, Capricorn mars & other air placements and I used to have a speech impediment and developed selective muting. 💀

• Having Air/Fire placements can be such a challenge! 😭 My Aries mercury just be saying anything along with the super chatty Gemini rising but then later my Aquarius moon has a pep talk moment and makes me say “Why the fuck did I say that? Now they’re going to think I’m—” 😂😂😂

• People with harsh aspects between the sun and pluto might be known as open books but they might become self-conscious about it and have the urge to remain a mystery yet they can’t help but overshare!😭

• They might also think about it often! Like it might haunt them.💀

• Gemini venuses are soo fun!! I’d literally take these people with me if I was to go on a road trip because they’d keep me entertained and we could just goof around & talk about anything lol.

• You might also find yourself attracting/being attracted to people who’s venus sign is your rising sign!

• Pisces venus, for the sake of your own life please stop staying in toxic relationships because you fear being abandoned and think it isn’t worth it because you’ve been with this person so long—LEAVE. ✋🏽

• Cancer venus, you know I love you but sometimes you gotta stop trying to control people. 😭

• Scorpio venus, with you I feel like we’re always on the same page and see eye to eye in most things/interests.

• Capricorn venus you are literally one of the most giving venus signs! I literally love you!!<3

• Sagittarius mars men having a thing for smacking their girlfriend’s butt.🤣

• Leo mars want only the best of the best especially if there’s Taurus in the mix!

• While Libra risings might develop people pleasing tendencies, Gemini risings tend to develop social anxiety.

• I’ve seen so many Gemini suns always point out that they either have or think they have a mental illness. Especially ADHD.😨😰

• Yes Earth suns are normally very chill and grounded. But add some Air and especially Fire in the mix and they’ll be the most erratic, short tempered people you’ve seen!🙃

• Fire mercuries/mercuries at Fire degrees, how does it feel to get shouted at your whole life then gas-lighted and blamed when you turn out to be a sharp-tongue individual?

• Gemini moons and their many 1-3 Am shows in their rooms.😭 Same for Aqua and Libra moons but Gemini moons do it more often lol.

• If somebody is very generous, bold, funny, and gets pissed off/defensive very quickly then they’re an Aries dom.❤️‍🔥

• Taurus moon, why are you so stubborn?

• The best thing to hear is “Okay fine.” From an Aquarius/Taurus moon when you’ve finally got them to change their opinion that they stubbornly wouldn’t let go of lol.

• 9H moons tend to be very attached to their ideas/opinions/beliefs. I can testify😂

• I’ve noticed some 2H moons tend to stress eat?

• 7H moons looove music and fashion!💗

• 9H Aquarius moons are normally cultured people.

• Fire moons are the loyalest friends hands down. I said what I said.✋🏽❤️

• Scorpios suns with Sagittarius moons/mercuries somehow be coming up with the funniest life-stories??😭🤣

• I’ve noticed Sagittarius mercuries tend to be awesome yet underrated songwriters! E.g. Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe who wrote most of their songs😩🖤

• Say what you will but some Leo risings literally exude not only a very charming but bright aura! David Lee Roth is literally your typical Leo Rising!🦁🌞

2K notes · View notes

pleasingforharry · 1 year

Text

Quiet!YN Gets Jealous

college!harry x quiet!yn

SUMMARY: Based on this Ask - Hey! Can we have more of college harry? Im literally obsessed with him😮‍💨 maybe something about y/n getting jealous with angst or she does something that pisses h off but they make up? Anything tbh!

WORD COUNT: 12.4k

WARNINGS: Angst and smut

it’s back. did some changes here and there. hope you enjoy it (again)

Harry liked Y/N a lot. She knew that. And even though being in a relationship didn’t stop girls from trying to seduce him, Harry still continued to look the other way when they approached him. He only wanted Y/N. She knew that.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

Harry was popular, and even now that he was with someone, that didn’t change his social status. Everyone wanted to be around him because he was just a great person overall. But Harry made it known that certain parts of himself were only reserved for his girlfriend. And Y/N knew that.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

They’ve had many short but heated arguments about it. How every time Harry wasn’t with Y/N, he was accompanied by some girl who had attached herself to his side. And how Harry always brushed it off because to him, it didn’t mean anything. He loved Y/N and couldn’t get her off his mind. So, girls could continue to try, however, nothing was going to change.

But to Y/N, Harry was okay with girls having their way with him. She felt as if she was sharing her boyfriend when she wasn’t around.

Every time she would bring it up, Harry would kiss her long and lovingly, letting her know that it was nothing she needed to worry about.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

And those thoughts led to the couple's most recent argument. Y/N wanted to surprise Harry at his frat house with ice cream from their favorite spot, More Scoops, after her classes. She hadn't told him that her last class had been canceled, which met she would have extra hours with him. She was overjoyed about it and wanted to see him as soon as possible.

She asked her platonic uncle, Coach James, who was also Harry’s soccer coach, to pick her up and drive her there because the walk would have taken up valuable time.

“I’ve never seen you so eager to get to some boy’s house and eat ice cream with him, kiddo. I feel like I should meet him formally, huh?” Coach James chuckled as he held the bag of ice cream for Y/N. She slid out his truck and turned to give him an annoyed look.

“You see him all the time at practice, Uncle James,” Y/N took the bag from him and shut the door as he rolled the passenger window down.

“I know, but I just always wanted to say that,” He exclaimed. “Have fun, kiddo. See you later.”

“Thanks again,” She waved as he drove off.

Y/N made her way up to the frat house and knocked on the door. She was surprised to see that some random guy had opened it for her.

“And who are you, beautiful?” He smirked, moving out of the way to let her in. Y/N remained frozen in place, not wanting to give him the opportunity to check her out as she passed by.

But Niall was quick to intervene and save her. “Marsh, do something better with your life. Goodness,” he scoffed as he smacked him in the back of the head.

“Damn, I was just being nice,” Marsh groaned before stalking away, grumbling under his breath. Y/N internally relaxed and smiled, relieved. Niall let her in and shut the door behind them.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Isn’t Harry supposed to get you from class later?”

"Yeah, but my last one got canceled, so I came to surprise him," she nodded as she proudly showed him the ice cream bag.

“He’ll love it,” Niall laughed, gesturing for a high-five. “And we’ve got a busy house today, so yell if another version of Marsh bothers you. I’ll come save you again,” He winked at her. Y/N smirked and thanked Niall before skipping to Harry’s room.

He wasn’t wrong when he said it was busy because there were people everywhere. There was no party going on, but each roommate had about a thousand friends, and headquarters happened to be the house her boyfriend lived at.

It was definitely an adjustment.

Y/N finally made it to Harry’s room, but before she knocked, she heard voices on the other side.

“Yeah, practice was a fucking nightmare yesterday. My hamstrings are killing me.”

“Really? Want me to massage them for you?”

“Ha ha, yeah right.”

“No, seriously. I kinda wanna know what soccer thighs feel like. They look so tight and firm, but soft at the same time.”

“Something like that.”

“So, may I?”

Before she could listen to any more, Y/N swung the door open, her gaze darting to her boyfriend and the last person she wanted to see with him. Peyton.

Out of all the girls that Harry knew, Peyton was the closest to him. They'd been friends since freshman year, and she's always had a crush on Harry. He was aware of it because she made it abundantly clear, but he never felt the same way. She was like a sister to him, and he preferred her as a best friend than his girlfriend.

Peyton was annoyed at Harry for it, but she kept trying and wouldn't give up on them. Yes, Harry knew that she still liked him and should have communicated that there was a line that couldn't be crossed, but she was his best friend. It was difficult to keep her at arm's length when he never had to do so before.

Harry was laid out on his bed, and Peyton was in his swivel chair, but rolled by his side. Y/N was slightly relieved that there was some kind of distance between them.

“Hey, baby. What are you doing here?” Harry asked. He sat up from his bed and motioned her over with open arms. “I’m supposed to get you from class in like two hours.” He was a little taken back that she was in his room and not in class, but nevertheless ecstatic to see her.

“Canceled,” was all she said, not moving from her spot as she continued her stare down with Peyton, who had a short smirk on her face. “Hello.”

“Hey, Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a minute,” she spoke sweetly. “H and I were just talking about you.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he knew what Peyton was implying but executing in a taunting way. “Valentine’s day is coming up, so I was thinking about date ideas,” He corrected her, leaning over to push her shoulder, which she chuckled at. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Y/N nodded and fiddled with the ties of the plastic bag. She didn’t know what to say as she still wanted an explanation for what was about to happen if she hadn’t walked in.

“I heard you guys out there,” she mumbled, now uncomfortable with eye contact and glancing down at her twitching feet. Peyton sniffled a laugh and looked over at Harry. He knew what she was trying to accuse him of and that an argument was slowly stirring.

“Okay? So, now you know I need my baby to come and soothe my aching legs,” He jokingly whined, hoping to avoid it. “Come.”

“Why? You were about to let Peyton do it for me,” She shrugged. “I’ll get out of your way. Have fun.” She turned on her heel and stepped towards the door.

“Y/N, wait,” He stopped her. “We all know that wasn’t going to happen.” She scowled as she peered over her shoulder at Harry.

“Did she know that, though?” She motioned to Peyton. The girl was spinning in his chair, letting the couple duke it out. She only listened in smug amusement. Y/N made it too easy.

“Yes, because you are my girlfriend and she isn’t.”

“Shame,” Peyton muttered under her breath. Before Y/N could snap a remark at her, Harry got to it first.

“Get out, Peyton,” He pointed to the door.

She shot her hands up in surrender. “I’m joking, H. Swear.”

“I don’t care, don’t say shit like that. Get out.”

“You knew I was joking, right, Y/N?” She desperately sought to her for help.

“Don’t talk to her; you’ve already upset her. I will physically throw you out if you don’t leave now,” Harry barked. Peyton sighed and stood up.

She and Y/N exchanged dark looks that said a thousand words. As it was just Peyton, Y/N had no intention of backing down from her glare. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “Ice cream?” She lifted the bag in between them.

“No thanks,” Peyton scoffed before walking out and slamming the door as a last statement.

When the couple was finally alone, Harry held his breath to cautiously watch his girlfriend. Her shoulders dropped as she realized how tense they were. Without looking at Harry, she moved to his mini fridge and stocked away the ice cream. She suddenly wasn’t in the mood for it anymore.

“Why’d you get ice cream? Special occasion?” Harry spoke first.

“Not really, but I killed my speech in Public Speaking and felt great. My last class got canceled so I thought ‘what better way to spend those two hours than with my boyfriend and ice cream’. Tried to get here as fast as I could to surprise you, and you know the rest,” Y/N explained, sitting across the room from him, on top of his desk. Her arms crossed as she stared at him.

Harry nodded, “Well, first off, I’m proud of you, baby. Congrats on a great speech.”

“Thank you,” She brushed him off quick.

“And thank you for coming to surprise me. I’m so happy you’re here.”

Are you? She wanted to comment, but bit back her tongue.

Harry tapped his thighs as Y/N blinked at him. He knew what she wanted to discuss, but he didn’t want talk about it. He attempted to divert the subject by asking about the ice cream she bought.

“What flavors did you get us?” He motioned to the fridge aside her.

Y/N just shook her head and laughed. “Can we just talk about it because I’m really concerned?”

“Why? I told you nothing was going to happen,” He shrugged. “Now come here and kiss me. I’m really concerned about my lack of kisses today,” He quipped.

Despite her intent to keep her strict demeanor, Y/N really missed him and was just glad to be with him. Her eyes rolled as she pushed off his desk and walked over to him. As soon as he could reach her, he snatched his girlfriend into his arms with a wide smile on his lips.

“My baby!” He cooed and threw her behind him on his bed, before quickly climbing on top of her.

“Harry!” She squealed out. He wasted no time in attacking her face with kisses. Some were wet and slobbery, traveling from her forehead to her cheeks to her lips to her chin and to her neck. “You’re so gross,” She groaned, trying to wipe away his saliva.

“Are you getting rid of my love?” He gasped. “Y/N L/N, what the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N laughed and held his cheeks before enveloping him in a long passionate kiss. He moaned within it and slyly rolled his hips against her in arousal.

When she pulled away, she smirked, “Forgiven?”

“Definitely,” He nodded, and they both laughed.

Y/N let the subject slide for a while, not wanting to bring it up as they were loving on each other for hours. She felt too good to just suddenly ruin the moment, but wasn’t going to ignore how Peyton was a constant problem, along with Harry’s other mild friendships with the girls on campus.

The couple was finally eating the ice cream she brought over, sitting on his bean bag chair and having pillow talk. Harry had Y/N straddling his lap as he kissed her between every few mouthfuls of ice cream. He leaned further into the bean bag chair, taking in the view in front of him.

She was in his shirt after being stripped naked—and well taken care of—a while ago and her nipples puckered from the cold taste of her treat. She had finished her cup and twisted to the side to throw it in the basket beside his desk.

She surprisingly made the shot and Harry cheered dramatically, using that as another excuse to kiss her everywhere. “You’re a future basketball star, baby. I know it,” He exclaimed.

“I made one easy shot, dove,” She laughed, now able to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Still, I think you as a basketball player would be hot as fuck,” He groaned at the thought, bucking his hips up into her. She giggled and brought their lips close but not into a kiss.

“You think everything I do is hot as fuck. You have a constant hard on,” She teased him.

“It’s called a love boner, smartass,” He laid a hard slap to her rear. “And yes, I do think so. Call me obsessed.”

Y/N shared a long loving stare down with Harry. Her gaze followed the length of his face before returning to his eyes. He was hers, but it didn't always seem that way.

The events of earlier, and times just like those, circled back to her mind, causing a noticeable frown on her face. Harry watched and one of his own fell on his lips. He ran his hands up her back, under his shirt, to get her attention. “Baby, what’s wrong? What are you thinking about?”

She shook her head.

“Come on, tell me. I can see it’s bothering you,” He pushed it.

She sighed and looked away as she didn’t want to see his reaction. “Peyton.” That was all she needed to say to sum up everything that was stuck in her head. It wasn’t just Peyton, but every girl that wanted him.

“Y/N,” He groaned, bringing her closer and kissing her cheek. “I’m sorry baby, but what do you want me to say about that? You know I can’t control them. I can only control myself, and I feel like it’s obvious that I’m doing just fine at it.” Y/N exhaled a sigh. Her hands were placed between them, and her fingers twitched nervously.

He released one of his hands from under her shirt to round to her front and up her face. He caressed her cheek while his thumb rubbed along her lips. Y/N smile sincerely for a moment, knowing he was trying to help her through her nerves so she could speak.

“Harry, this is a constant issue, and I just feel like I’m missing something,” She faltered. “There are always girls here at the house, which you can’t help so I try not to worry about that. But specifically Peyton, she’s always in your room. And I’m just worried about what goes on when I’m not here.”

Harry paused his finger. “Are you implying that you don’t trust me, Y/N?” He lifted a challenging brow at her. Y/N suddenly wanted to shrink up into a ball, simply from his expression. He was starting to get pissed. Trust was always a word that lingered over their heads.

Y/N simply shrugged and glanced away from his intense stare.

“I don’t know. I mean, yes, I do, but—“

“Why is there a but?” He interrupted her. “Why can’t you just trust that nothing will ever happen between me and any of them?” He brought his other hand to grab her face and force her to look at him. She had no choice but to stare back. “I don’t think you’ve realized that anytime I’ve been asked to fuck them or kiss them or do anything with them, none of those things have actually ever happened. Maybe because I don’t fucking let them, Y/N. I don’t want them.”

Y/N believed him. She really did. But she was dripping with insecurities. Everything she wanted, those girls had. And Harry had access to them. She became an overthinker that it made her forget everything about simple trust.

“So, if I never walked in, you wouldn’t have let Peyton massage you? Even though she’s your best friend and you guys used to do that kind of stuff all the time?” She asked. Harry immediately shook his head.

“Nothing was going to happen, baby. If you would’ve listened for a little longer and let me answer her, I would have said no and explained the boundaries we needed to set." He responded, irritated that he had to explain himself. Or that she had to pose the question at all. He was officially pissed.

“But why does she think she could do that? Why is her comfort level that high with you still?” Y/N shot at him. “Maybe you’re not making it known to every girl here how serious your relationship is. I just wonder if you have doubts about us or if you really want a full-on relationship with me. I’m sorry, dove, but it’s just what I think about.”

Harry paused, his face becoming unreadable. Y/N watched as it contorted to confusion, hurt, worry, sadness, then straight anger. Betrayal. “What the fuck did you just say?” He seethed, gently removing her off of him so he could stand up. Y/N followed, hugging herself, as he walked across the room.

“I’m not saying you are a bad boyfriend or anything, I just think that you sometimes miss the freedom you had before me,” Y/N shrugged.

What Y/N watched made her want to shove every single word she said back down her throat and to the depths of hell. She regretted everything.

Harry’s hands clenched and he sucked in a long breath. His eyes went dark and lost all the green that used to look at her with acres of love. That sight was gone and probably for a long time.

One of his hands dug into the side of his hip as it didn’t know where else to go. He turned away from Y/N, looking anywhere but her. He wanted to throw something or yell out a dictionary of curse words to let out the stinging feeling of anger boiling inside of him. But, he didn’t want to react like that in front of Y/N, though. As much as he was filled with betrayal and wanted her to see that, he would never act out with her around. So, she needed to go.

“Get out,” Harry ordered, his voice stern, trying to hide the rasp in his throat. It made her eyes widen.

“Wait, I didn’t—”

“Baby, I’m trying...” He sighed and shook his head, “I will only say it nicely one more time. Please, get out of my room,” His hand twitched as it pointed towards the door. Y/N waited a moment, her hands grasping each other. Harry’s eyes didn’t soften like she thought would happen if she waited. He was telling her to leave. He didn’t want her there anymore. Maybe a little space is what they needed for now.

“Okay. I’m sorry, I’ll go,” She whispered as she scurried away from him. But before she completely left, she heard the words she thought would never leave his mouth. “Y/N, we need to break up.”

Her whole body froze as her heart dropped to her trembling feet. They somehow brought her to Harry as she held his shoulders to get his attention.

“Harry? What?” She wavered. “What are you saying? Are you... wait I swear, I didn’t mean it.”

He closed his eyes and grabbed her hands from his shoulders to lace them with his own. He squeezed her hands softly. “Y/N, I don’t know. I think I overestimated myself. I’ll never be able to prove that all I want is you,” he huffed, still shaking. “I am so tired of trying to convince you that I can be trusted. You aren’t going to chance your views on me, so why am I continuing to waste my time?”

“Dove—”

“I’m done fighting in a battle I’ll never win at. I’m tired, baby. I can’t do it anymore,” He sighed, rolling his head in different directions. He slipped his hands away from her to turn his back to her. Without saying another word, he pointed to the door.

Y/N stood there, unable to process what he said to her. She suddenly dropped to her knees, and her head fell into her hands. She wasn’t crying, though. Nothing was coming out. She was stuck in a shock.

Harry glanced behind him and saw her quivering body on the floor as if she was dry heaving. She didn’t realize he moved until she felt him reach under her arms. He helped her back to her feet and used a single finger to lift her chin.

Her eyes were glossy as she sniffled and panted uncontrollably. “Dove, I’m sorry. Please, don’t say that. I trust you, I really do.”

"But, baby, you don't. I'm certain you don't. And that's fine, but I genuinely think this is something you need to resolve with someone else because I’m at a lost." His tone was monotonous. He moved his finger to her hair so he could brush it behind her ear. "I can't help you anymore. I tried, but I failed."

“You didn’t fail, Harry. I promise that you didn’t,” She shook her head, ignoring him repeatedly mumbling but I did.

They stood there for another solid minute, bickering back and forth whether he failed her or not. Harry grew tired.

“Y/N, I need you to leave now, okay? I just don’t want to be near you, right now, baby. I’m sorry,” Harry spoke, running his hand down her arm.

“Are we really done?” She dared to ask. “Please don’t say yes.”

Harry rolled his lips inwards and looked up. Y/N began to shake again as she covered her eyes with her hands.

“I’m sorry that there are girls who won’t stop approaching me, but I have only so much control over that. I don’t know how to change their comfort level with me, because they blatantly ignore what I say. But I can swear to you, and you can even ask them yourself, that nothing has ever happened. I wouldn’t let it, and I’m sorry that it isn’t enough to convince you.”

“It is, I believe you. I do. I’m sorry, Harry,” Y/N tried to muster up a smile.

He only shook his head. “Y/N, I love you, I really do. I don’t regret a second of what we had, but baby, right now, I don’t want this. You can’t trust me, and I know that isn’t entirely your fault. But I don’t know... I just feel hate. It’s not fair, and I don’t understand why it’s towards you, but it’s there.”

“W-wh-Harry what?”

“I hate both of us. I hate myself for not doing what you needed me to do. But I hate you for not listening to me, Y/N. And right now, I need you to leave.”

I hate you.

Y/N didn’t want to show up at Harry’s soccer practices to take photos as the team’s photographer anymore. She wanted to avoid him at all cost, because if she saw him, she’d lose it. But Coach James would know something was up and blame it on Harry, so she went anyways.

I hate you.

That day when she left Harry’s room, she didn’t cry, only mumbled questions of why. She asked why’s for everything. Why did she say those things? Why couldn’t she trust him? Why was she so insecure? Why did she hurt him? Why did she never stop and actually listen to him?

They were constant. She couldn’t focus. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t function. She couldn’t. Harry really made up the happiness in her life. And now it was all gone.

I hate you.

She hated herself too.

The first few practices after their break up, Harry only nodded at Y/N when she arrived. Her eyes would dart anywhere else as she already felt a knot in her throat. She subtly sucked in a slow breath to exhale out and relax her shoulders. For the remainder of the time, Harry kept his attention away from her as he knew he was the reason for her uneasiness. He felt really bad, so the least he could do was not taunt her.

But it was the next practice when Harry finally spoke to her. It was when they had their water break and Y/N was pacing near the path that led back to campus. She was contemplating if she should leave. It was hitting her hard, really hard. So, Harry snuck over to her to help. He still cared for her, that was never going away.

“Hey, b—Y/N,” He caught himself. Her eyes never left her camera as she played with the buttons to control her overwhelming feelings of stress. “Can I talk to you, real quick?”

She was surprised he was speaking to her, and even though it hurt to be around him, she wasn’t going to give up the opportunity to talk as it might be her last. She nodded and moved her eyes to his water bottle by his side. He still used the one with stickers sprinkled around the length of it. And her initial was still there.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I want to say, I just needed to check on you. How’ve you been?” He shifted his weight to his other leg. “Thank you for still being the team’s photographer.”

“It’s fine, and I’m fine. Just been—well, doing a lot of thinking, but when I get down, it’s nothing a little ice cream can’t help with,” She said playfully, but Harry still stared at her worriedly. So, she moved on with a cough. “I’ve gone to the lake behind More Scoops more recently to take pictures. It’s a lovely setting, no matter the hour,” She answered. Harry frowned at that.

“You’ve been doing all of this alone?”

She shrugged, “I don’t have friends. Your friends were my friends, so...”

“Y/N, you can still come to the frat to see Niall and everyone. They miss you, and I’ll stay away so I’m not a distraction. You are their friend without me,” He pushed her shoulder as if he was offended she would believe otherwise.

“Thank you,” was all she should said for him to drop the topic because she knew she still wasn’t going. Just being at the frat house was going to make her think of Harry, whether he was there or not.

The ex-couple stood together in silence, finally staring at each other. Y/N saw the gentle green in his eyes again. She thought they’d never come back, nor would he let her see them.

She wanted to ask him a thousand questions, mixed with a thousand more sorrys. But it wasn’t an appropriate time as she could tell he still wasn’t ready to forgive her. She still had more thinking and growing to do.

Coach James called the boys over, so Harry motioned behind him, not knowing how to properly depart from her without kissing and exchanging ‘I love you’. So, she helped him out.

“You can go, Harry.”

He opened his mouth to response, but suddenly shut his lips. He only nodded and jogged away.

For every other practice, Harry never spoke to her. He would sometimes glance at her during their breaks, but didn’t approach her like he did that one time. Y/N still had to take pictures of him so Coach James wouldn’t be suspicious, but he already knew something was wrong. Usually, Harry would pay more attention to Y/N than the ball when she came to his practice. And now, he could count on his fingers how many times Harry tried to get her to look at him. Zero.

He became a little ticked off because he believed Harry was the cause for Y/N permanent frown. Every smile was painted over a frown, none of them were genuine anymore.

Coach James waited until after practice to pull Harry to the side and question him. He had his arms crossed and shades over his eyes when Harry came out the locker room.

“Styles, come here,” He yelled for him. The group immaturely teased Harry for being called out, hitting him in the back as he moved through them. He only rolled his eyes and ran to his coach. Y/N had left as soon as he dismissed the boys to the showers, not even exchanging goodbyes. She darted away with her camera hanging sadly around her neck.

“Yeah, coach?” Harry was a little confused because nothing bad or amazing happened during practice.

“What’s going on?” was all he asked, rocking slightly. “I’ll be unbiased.”

Harry blinked in thought, wondering what story he wanted his side on. But it suddenly hit him so he awed with comprehension. Then, he laughed. "That's not possible. You’ll always see her as your niece.”

“Right now, she’s the girl that photographs my team. And you’re one of my players that I’ve seen a noticeable difference with,” He shook his head. “Now, tell me what’s going on because she sure as hell won’t.”

Harry groaned, before turning to face the turf field. As did Coach James, and they stood side by side. He didn’t want to be the first to say anything, but he knew Y/N could keep her mouth shut if she really wanted to.

“She doesn’t trust me, and I didn’t know what else to do to reassure her. I just grew tired of the fighting, and I need to prioritize myself sometimes,” Harry explained, rubbing the back of his neck. Coach James only nodded and looked over at him.

“I see,” He said. “So, you broke up with her?”

“Yes, sir.”

Coach James hummed and brought his attention back to the turf field. “Well, I can’t be mad at you because like you said, you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. And you tried to work through an issue, but in the end, had to step back. So, you aren’t in the wrong.”

Harry knew that, but to hear it from Coach James wasn’t all that comforting. He kind of wanted to hear that he did something wrong so he could finally feel bad about breaking things off with Y/N. But each day, he knew what he did was for the best.

“Okay.”

“You’re free to go. Thank you for telling me. See you tomorrow.”

Harry suddenly frowned at Coach James, parting his lips to speak. He lifted a brow at Harry’s hopeless expression and raised his shades to look at him clearly.

“Why can’t she trust me?” Harry asked, begging to get an answer from someone. “I really tried.”

“I know you did, Harry. You did your best.”

“But why?”

Coach James shrugged, and it only made Harry angry. Why couldn’t he get a fucking answer?

“I told her I hated her,” He admitted. Coach James’ face didn’t change.

“Did you mean it?” He asked instead.

Harry shrugged. “I loved her so much, sir. Even though I continuously explain myself to her, it wasn’t enough. She wouldn’t completely believe me when I told her that all I ever wanted was her. And I hate her for that.”

Coach James shared a few encouraging words to Harry, before excusing him to leave. Harry didn’t feel any better, only confused. And he wondered how Y/N was feeling too.

Y/N had finished her classes for the day, so she went to the dining hall for some food. She saw it as an instant mistake when she noticed Harry and his roommates at a near table. But he seemed happy as he laughed loudly with the rest of the group, and that brought a sad smile to her lips. He was okay. At least one of them were.

Niall happened to catch Y/N walking around in the corner of his eye and waved at her. The rest of their eyes turned to her, and she suddenly felt vulnerable. She didn’t want them to see her because like she predicted, would get his attention.

Harry frowned in confusion as the boys sitting across from him were looking in another direction. He shifted in his seat to follow their line of vision, but when he realized who it was, he only gave her a brief glance before turning back around.

I hate you.

Y/N’s lips began to quiver, so she shortly waved back and made a beeline to the other side of the dining hall. It had been a long time since she was there alone because she never ate without Harry. He always enjoyed being with her, and Y/N enjoyed it even more. God, she missed him.

She had heard footsteps coming up behind her, and she assumed it was someone going to the bathroom as she sat near the doors, but that person was there for her. Niall.

He sat across from her and smiled. “Hey, Y/N. Mind if I join you?” He asked.

“What about—”

“Don’t worry about them,” He said. “They’ll think I’m shitting and eventually leave.” Y/N actually laughed for the first time that week. Niall reached his hand out for her, and she sadly accepted it. “Can’t let you eat alone, now could I?”

“Thank you, Niall.”

There was a moment of silence as Niall sighed. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his friends, then looked back at Y/N. “He wants to be here with you. He hates when you’re alone. So, I’m just doing him a favor,” He shrugged it off. “But you’re also better to eat with than those idiots. Who gets pizza with broccoli on top?”

“Isaiah,” they both answered together, before laughing. Y/N tilted her chin down and rolled her lips inwards to contain her smile.

Harry glanced in the direction Niall had left to go to the bathroom, and where he secretly watched Y/N go to sit alone. But it had been almost twenty minutes and Niall hadn’t returned nor did Y/N disperse from there to leave.

“You guys ready to go?” Sage asked, getting up from his chair with his tray. The rest of the boys nodded and joined him. Harry followed behind, shuffling extra steps in search for Niall... and Y/N.

But before he walked any farther to the other area of the hall, Niall appeared with stretched arms. “Hey, fellas.”

“Oh fuck no, were you in the bathroom that whole time?” Flynn gasped as Niall took stalking steps towards him with his hands out, as if he didn’t wash his hands.

“Sure was!” He smirked, before chasing all of them out the dining hall. Harry watched with a shake of his head. Before he followed them out, he searched a little longer for one more person. But she was already gone.

As much as Niall didn’t want to, he had let Y/N leave, wiping tears on her sleeves as she begged to be alone.

Y/N paused, her hand resting against the frat house's door. She shouldn’t have come, but there she was. Two days had passed since Niall's brief pep talk, which had left her wanting to collect her thoughts. And now she was back at the taunting frat house. She knew Harry wouldn’t want to see her, but she had to try.

Some random guy had let her in, but wasn’t nasty like Marsh. He was friendly and told her that Harry was in his room, as he had been all day.

She was taking her time down the hallway, shaking her shoulders to let the nerves out. The thought of being rejected as soon as he saw her was lingering in the back of her mind, but she pushed through and continued to walk.

Y/N reached Harry’s room and instantly grew sick when another voice accompanied him behind the door. Her shoulders slumped and her legs were ready to pivot away, but her voice did otherwise. “Harry? It’s Y/N.”

The noises behind his door suddenly silenced, and Y/N became exceedingly nervous. Heavy pads of feet, which she immediately recognized as Harry’s, reached her and then the door swung open. And so did Y/N’s eyes.

He was there. His hands over his head as he held the doorframe above them, stretching the length of his naked torso. He wore his signature navy colored sweats—they had a matching pair—that hung low on his hips to reveal his v-line.

If Y/N wasn’t worried about who had seen the sight that used to only belong to her, she’d be drooling.

Harry sighed as he watched her shyly examine his body. When her eyes traveled back up to his and she realized he had caught her, she turned her head towards the stairs down the hall. “Hi,” she mumbled.

“What do you want, Y/N?” He huffed.

“Are you busy?” She whispered, motioning behind him. His naked chest wasn’t helping the anxious knot in her stomach. All of the boys were together playing videogames in the living room, but he was upstairs with someone else in his room. It wasn’t a good sign.

Harry glanced behind him before looking back at Y/N. With her eyes looking down, she didn’t see the smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe, depends on what you want.”

She nodded and sucked in a brave breath. Just say it. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay?”

“And I—” she fondled with the stitches along her jeans, “Um... I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean what I said.”

Harry continued to eye Y/N intensely that she was burning on the inside. She felt her pits begin to sweat, and the thickness of the air wasn’t helping her breathe any better.

“Yes, you did, Y/N.”

“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have said that. I trust you, Harry.”

He rolled his eyes and took a step towards her so he could shut the door behind him. “You’re only saying that because you want me to forgive you. And honestly, Y/N, I’m still not ready to.” Her throat closed up and her eyes warned to water. She dug her nails into her palm to control herself. “You never trusted me and we argued about that constantly. I’m lost and I’m confused. You confuse me. And I’ll never understand why you never wanted to believe me.”

“That’s not true, I did believe you,” She sniffled so low that she could barely hear herself.

Harry chuckled, “Did you? So, were you not there for half of our arguments? How naïve do you think I am, Y/N?”

She rolled her lips inwards and shook her head. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. It was inevitable as her vision became a blur. She didn’t trust her voice to hide how close she was to breaking down.

This was a bad idea. She needed to leave.

“Y/N, you assume that I want every girl that even looks at me. I always have to defend myself because you jump right to conclusions.”

“No, I—”

“Shut up! Let me talk!” He snapped at her. Y/N did just that, but it was too late. Harry was over the conversation. “Never mind, you are still as stubborn as always. I’m done. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you. Just leave.”

She wanted to fight for him. She wanted to stay and talk things out. But the look of hatred that stuck on his face as he glared at her was too much to handle.

Her breathing became shaky as she nodded and whispered an okay. She made her way to the stairs, feeling his eyes hard on her back.

Before she could make it to the end of the hall, Harry called out for her. She touched the wall to steady herself and looked back.

“Yes?” She asked with a hint of hope as she stared at his genuine smile.

Before she was completely crushed.

“There is a girl in my room, and I would tell you what we’re doing in here, but it’s not like you’d believe me, right?” Y/N’s eyes widened. “Like I said, I’m tired of explaining myself to someone who will never listen.”

The door was shut to his room before she could react. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until her throat begged for air.

Y/N raced down the stairs, ignoring the boys’ calls of her name, and out the front door. She ran as fast as she could to anywhere but that stupid fucking frat house. Her legs wouldn’t slow down, and she didn’t want to.

Her heart was heavy. So heavy. She didn’t know what do to or where to go. If she went back to her dorm, she knew the boys would find her there, and for the first time in a long one, she didn’t want to be found. She wanted to be alone. And quiet.

Y/N scooped her spoon full of ice cream and let the cold taste numb her throbbing heart. She was at a lake nearby the campus. It was a good hiding spot because no one knew she went there besides Harry. And she was for sure he wasn’t looking for her. He was busy.

She lifted up her phone for the tenth time to skim the messages across her screen.

niall: where are you y/n? i’m at your dorm

niall : i’m worried about you

niall: he didn’t mean it

niall: y/n it’s okay

niall: just let me know you’re alright

No.

Y/N set her phone back down on the grass and sighed at the sky. It had been almost two hours and the day was soon to end. Y/N had no intention of leaving, hoping that the day could take her with it to yesterday. She didn’t want to move on with everything else. She wanted to pause in that moment.

Alone. With ice cream. And the painted sky. She grabbed her phone to take a picture and smiled at the results. It was beautiful, why would she go home when she could be here?

While still in her hand, her phone began to vibrate. It was the hundredth time, and Y/N was getting pretty aggravated, She knew it was Niall without even looking at the contact name.

“Hello?” She asked with a rasp in her voice from all the crying she did earlier.

“Y/N? Oh my god, where the fuck are you? I’ve—”

“Niall, please. Just leave me alone.”

“No, you need to tell me where you are, right fucking now. I’m serious, Y/N. I swear on everything—”

“Behind More Scoops there is a trail that leads to a lake,” was all she said before hanging up her phone and dropping it back to her side.

She really didn’t want to see anybody, but Niall wouldn’t leave her alone.

It only took him seven minutes to race to where she was. He was panting loudly as he plopped down next to her. He fell back and yelled.

Y/N sniffled a laugh and glanced over at him. “You okay?”

“You’re the actual worst. I’ve been so worried and here you are—eating ice cream by a lake,” He snapped, hitting her in the thigh with every word. She laughed again and hit him back.

“I needed to get away,” She shrugged.

“I know you did, but you didn’t need to be alone,” He snapped back. “You never had to be. This whole time, we’ve all been trying to comfort you, but you push us away. Stop doing this alone when we’re here.”

“I like being alone.”

“Well, I don’t,” Niall argued back. “Fuck Y/N, what happened today?”

She shook her head, not wanting to relive that moment again. Niall silently understood and didn’t push it for a few minutes.

“He needs you, Y/N. I don’t know what that idiot needs you to say to him, but please keep trying.”

“I did.”

“I know, but don’t give up on him because he hasn’t given up on you. He’s on the verge of forgiving you, I can tell. I know both of you want to be together, so save each other,” Niall sat back up to look at her seriously. “Save him like you did the first time. He needs you more than ever.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Niall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y/N, listen to me,” He grabbed her hands to hold in between the both of them. “I don’t want the Harry ‘before you’ back. Yes, I missed him at first, but after I met the Harry ‘during you’, I never want the old one back. That is the best version of Harry there is, Y/N. Not the one before or after you, the one during you.”

“It’s too late, Niall,” Y/N looked away towards the water shimmering in the lake. “I messed up bad.”

“It’s not, though. You are doing everything just right. It’s working. I talked to him after you left and I could see it in his eyes. He fucking misses you. He knows you’re sorry and wants to trust him. He’s just being a stubborn fucker, so I need you to pull him out of it. Just one more time, Y/N. I know he’ll break,” Niall pushed her shoulder.

She gave him a hard glare, before hitting him. “How are you so sure? He would’ve have hurt me like he did earlier if he wanted me.”

“Are you willing to finally trust him?” Niall asked.

“Of course, I am. I always did, I was just insecure. But he’s right, I had no reason to because nothing ever happened. I’m just an idiot.”

Niall shook his head. “First off, you’re not an idiot because he should’ve taken your words into consideration if he cares so much about you. If you wanted those girls at arms-length with him, he should’ve found a way. So, stop beating yourself up so much, okay?” Y/N finally smiled.

“Thank you, Niall.” A weight had been dropped. Niall got it.

“Now, if you want to really trust him and to finally get over your insecurities, then mean it. Let him know what needs to change and compromise. Get it through his thick fucking skull that you guys can work this out. “

Y/N sniffled and covered her eyes to cry in her hands. Niall reached over to rub circled around her back. “I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“Don’t apologize, you’re hurting. Let that out, it’ll help.” Y/N nodded and leaned into him. “He’s going to listen this time, Y/N. He wants to listen. Trust me. He’s hosting a party at the frat right now. He hasn’t done that in a long time. We need your help.”

“I’m scared, Niall. He hates me.”

“Not as much as he loves you. God, Y/N, Harry is so fucking in love with you. He needs you bad.”

Y/N opened her eyes and looked up. She gazed at the dusked sky. “I need him too.”

Y/N was at a frat party. She never attended those. Especially without her roommate by her side, but she was so desperate to find Harry that she pushed through.

The house was loud and reeked of alcohol and sweaty bodies dancing against each other. Y/N needed to find Harry and fast.

Her low voice tried to excuse her way through the crowd, but no one even acknowledged her presence; a good and bad thing.

As the host, she knew Harry wouldn’t be locked up in his room, so that made it a little more difficult to find him. She asked around at first, but no one seemed to know where he could be.

She had made it to the backyard when she finally found him.

He was against the wall of the house, talking to an unfamiliar girl. Y/N was relieved from the distance between them, and that Harry was shooing her, every time she tried to reach for him. He was facing Y/N, so she could see the disinterest in his eyes, and she hoped that would help her get him alone.

She pushed through more people who seemed to be deliberately making it difficult to reach him, which furthered her determination.

“Harry!” She yelled, but the speaker hanging above him deafened her voice. She groaned and hurried her feet as she watched the girl motion her hand down his chest and to forbidden territory.

What felt like forever, Y/N finally reached the two, and when Harry noticed her furiously approaching them, his eyes widened. “Y/N?!” He gawked. Y/N clenched her teeth as she shoved the girl’s shoulder to get her attention.

“What the fuck?” The girl gasped as she whipped around to face Y/N. There wasn’t a noticeable height difference, so the girl’s met eye level. “Who do you think you are, bitch?”

Y/N knew she couldn’t take this girl as she had no fighting experience, but in the moment she didn’t care. She only took bold steps towards the girl so their chests touched.

“Stay away from him,” she growled darkly, trying her best to keep up her brave persona. But she was dying on the inside. Why the hell did she do that?

“Excuse me? Who even are—”

“Stop!” Harry moved in the way to break up something that was bound to happen. He grabbed the girl’s arm to yank her back so he could step in between them. Y/N felt a pang of pride as Harry stood in front of her with his back to the girl. “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?”

The girl huffed loudly, “Do you know her?”

“Yes, and we’re leaving,” Harry looked at Y/N as he spoke to the girl. He pointed to the house and Y/N nodded, before walking away.

She felt Harry close behind her as he muttered under his breath. She was a little ashamed of her actions, causing a scene like that when the girl technically did nothing wrong. But winning Harry in the end made it feel okay.

“Do you want to explain why you’re here and what the fuck happened back there?” Harry asked as they walked down the hallway to his room. Y/N’s shoulders tensed from his fatherly tone, so she shook her head. “Well, you’re going to tell me anyways, so figure the answer out.”

Y/N paused at the entrance of his room, remembering what happened the last time she was there. She suddenly grew hot as a layer of sweat formed along her forehead. The hurtful throb of her heart was back, and she needed out. Anywhere, but there.

“Hey, you okay?” Harry asked, moving to stand in front of her. He heard how hard she was breathing so he took another step closer to get her attention. “What? What’s wrong? Look at me, baby.”

Darting her eyes up at him, she shook her head rapidly. Finally face to face with him again, Y/N wanted to break down. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Harry, I’m so fucking sorry. I—I’m sorry for not trusting you because I had no reason not to. This is all my fault. You can’t control every single girl that likes you, and I should’ve—”

“Wait, you’re talking so fast, calm down,” Harry laughed, but Y/N shot him a dark look that he instantly stopped. “I’m sorry, go on.”

Y/N sighed as she remembered to slow her words down. She was still heavily shaking. “I want to be with you forever, Harry. My life before you is nothing compared to what it was when I was with you. That feeling I get every time I’m around you is so euphoric that I feel so selfish for only wanting to have it for myself.”

Harry only blinked at her. So, she kept going.

“I’m so fucking stupid, I wish I never said those things. I swear I didn’t mean it, you’re an amazing boyfriend and I know you only wanted me. You were doing everything just fine, it’s all me. Everything is my fault.”

Y/N started to hyperventilate, overwhelmed with her spilling words. Harry became concerned as her eyes filled with tears and her voice grew raspy. He reached out for her, but as much as she yearned for his missed touched, she put her hand out to stop him.

“No, I’m fine. Let me finish.”

“Y/N—”

“Harry, I miss you so much. And I don’t deserve you back, but I’m begging you to forgive me. If you want to start off slow and maybe just be friends, I’m so down for that. It’s completely fine. You need to trust me again. I get it.”

He sighed, “Y/N, I’ve always trusted you, and I still do.”

She only groaned and covered her eyes. “Don’t say that, I feel like even more shit.”

“I’m sorry.”

She dropped her arms and looked back at Harry. His arms were crossed, still willing to listen to her, and she was going to use the opportunity to the fullest.

“I’m insecure, okay? I know that, and I’ll work on it. I just... I love you so much, and I’m possessive, and I don’t know how to control myself, so I take it out on you,” Y/N finally admitted out loud, surprising both herself and Harry. “It was a horrible thing to do, but I promise, I’ll talk to you. I’ll communicate, and I—I don’t even know. Just... I’ll do better. I’m gonna do so much better. I’m truly sorry, Harry.”

He tilted his head to the side as he stared at her. His tongue rolled over his teeth, and Y/N was dying in anticipation.

“This whole thing... this is the most I’ve ever heard you apologize. You never do that,” He mentioned.

That wasn’t what she expected him to say, but she accepted it. “I know, I’m gonna work on that, okay?” He nodded and swayed. “I’m going to do better, please don’t give up on me, Harry. Fight for me again, I won’t let you down.”

The words he had said to her continued to cause constant pangs of hurt in her heart. “Please don’t hate me, Harry.”

His eyes suddenly softened as his lips parted. “Fuck Y/N.”

“If you really don’t want to forgive me, then I’ll learn to accept that. But, I’m begging you to not hate me.” Before she could say anymore, Y/N’s hand covered her eyes to hide the tears that spilled out the corners.

Harry took another step so that their chests finally touched. He held Y/N’s jaw and that was enough for her to break down completely. She continued to apologize and Harry simple smiled at her. God, he fucking loves this girl.

“Y/N?”

“I’ll do better, Harry. I’m sorry, I really am,” she cried, looking back at him.

“Will you let me speak?”

She shook her head and continued to cry. “I don’t want to know your answer. I can’t do this. Just know, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

Y/N escaped his hold, before racing towards the stairs. She needed fresh air so she could breathe properly. Her head was spinning and she could drop at any moment.

But what she didn’t expect was a familiar call of her name. Harry ran quicker than Y/N and grabbed her waist, pulling her into his warm chest that she missed all too much. His lips reached her ear as he laughed.

“I’m the athlete here, baby. You can’t outrun me,” he joked, pinching her sides.

“I need to go. I shouldn’t have come,” she shook her head, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

“No, we’re going to talk about this. You said it yourself that we are going to start talking.”

“I can’t tonight, Harry. This is too much.”

“You’re being stubborn, Y/N. It’s annoying me.”

Y/N turned in his hold with her doe eyes, looking up at him. His thumb brushed her lips as he smiled at her.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“I know that, baby. You told me that already,” he chuckled, before leading her down the stairwell. She expected him to take her back to his room.

“Wait, where are we going?” She asked as he wrapped an arm around her while he pushed through the crowd.

They made it to the front door when he decided to answer. “You’re overwhelmed, it’s a hectic and loud party, so we’re going to your dorm.”

“Oh,” She nodded.

There wasn’t much exchanged during the ride. Harry had grabbed Y/N’s hand sometime during the drive and rested their laced fingers on her thigh. His thumb brushed the back of her hand as he hummed under his breath.

Every time he glanced at Y/N, her eyes were trained on the passenger window. He could feel how stiff her hand was, and it had a slight shake. She was so nervous, so Harry brought them to his lips.

“It’s okay, baby,” He whispered in the silent car, before pressing a long kiss to the back of her hand. “We’re going to be okay.”

Y/N sniffled, still not looking his way. But from the dark sky and the luminated lights of the buildings they passed by, he could see her reflection. And the most hopeful smile sat on her lips. Harry kissed her hand once more, before bringing them back to her lap.

When they made it to Y/N’s dorm, Harry led the way with their hands still together. She allowed him to drag her to her suite, before shutting the door behind them. His hand slipped from hers so he could approach her desk, examining the space he hadn’t been at for a while.

“Sorry, it’s messy. Didn’t think you’d stop by,” She tried to chuckle, but it sounded like a rough sigh. Harry only shrugged as he walked to stand in front of her with wandering eyes. They finally fell on her, and she felt on display. Even though she was completely clothed, she crossed her arms over herself to hide whatever he was looking at.

“I missed it here,” Harry said. “You moved our picture,” He motioned to her desk, noticing the missing frame as soon as he walked in.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “I did, I’m sorry. I just thought that—”

“Stop apologizing. You don’t have to explain yourself,” Harry interrupted her, swiftly pinching her side. Y/N squealed, before frowning at him. “I just happened to see that it was gone. I don’t have to know why you took it down if you don’t want to me to.”

“I’m sorry,” She repeated for the thousandth time. Harry rolled his eyes, which made her want to repeat her words again. So, she moved on and asked a question. “Can we be friends?”

Harry cocked a brow up at her. “Friends?”

“I mean, I don’t know if you want... well, a relationship with me again. But I’d really like to be your friend again,” She swayed nervously in her spot.

Harry snorted while running his hands down her arms. “That’s considerate of you.”

“I just want to try again, Harry. I feel really bad for hurting you.”

“I’d like that too, because I, too, am sorry for hurting you,” His hands found hers again. “I’m trying to understand how to firmly create a distance. I just don’t want to come off as an asshole, ya know?”

Y/N nodded, “Everyone loves you. It’s not your fault.”

“It is, though. But I’m going to work on that,” He brought her knuckles up to his lips and continuously switched to kiss both.

Y/N hesitated to ask her next question, but she was desperate to know. “Do you still hate me?” She asked cautiously.

“Will you learn to trust me?” He lifted a brow at her. Her eyes instantly widened as she rapidly nodded. Harry laughed and reached for her cheeks to stop her. “Then, no I don’t. And I’m sorry I said that to you.”

A pile of relief spread across her as all the stress shed off her skin. She wanted to cry. And she did. She had a full on melt down.

Harry continued to hold her cheeks while he wiped her eyes as tears wouldn’t stop streaming down. She repeatedly apologized for being a mess, and Harry only nodded with a loving smile as he looked down at her lovingly.

“You’re so sensitive, baby,” he chuckled. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she sniffled as Harry’s thumb closed her eye to wipe another tear. “I can’t stop. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Harry caught Y/N completely off guard by kissing her nose before nudging his against hers as a ‘butterfly kiss’. Her eyes were widened as she stared back at him, bewildered by his bold move.

It only made her lip quiver again.

“Y/N—“

“Shut up, stop. You’re making it worse,” she complained through more sniffles. “I need to leave.”

“We’re at your dorm, Y/N,” he laughed heartily. “And I’m trying to calm you down so you’ll stop crying. I don’t like seeing you cry. Even though you still look very pretty.”

Y/N was overwhelmed, and downright confused. Did he love her again? He was being very affectionate after wanting nothing to do with her not too long ago. It made Y/N think that he wasn’t affected by her anymore. He didn’t feel anything towards her as he touched and caressed her.

His feelings were somewhere else.

“What are you thinking about now?” Harry asked. Her tears finally stopped, but the sadden look across her face worried him that more were soon to come.

“Is there someone else?” She dared to ask.

Harry’s hands continued to hold her cheeks as his thumb trailed along his favorite features of her face. “What do you mean?”

“Another girlfriend,” she gulped. Harry lifted a brow at her, and her hands came up in surrender. “Oh shit, I didn’t even consider that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw myself back at you like this.”

“Y/N,” He laughed.

“No, It’s completely fine, if so, Harry. I’m happy for you,” She lied right to his face with a forced smile. But he could see right through her.

Harry slowly smirked and dropped his hands from her face to cross his arms over his chest.

“Are you?”

“Yes, of course. She’s lucky to have you,” She nodded. “I really fumbled, haven't I?” She tried to joke, but it only made her lips quiver again. Harry nodded, trying his best not to laugh in her face. She was so cute.

“You did. I was an amazing boyfriend, Y/N.”

She didn’t response at first, only fiddling with her fingers. She wasn’t expecting to be in a new situation. Harry was now taken. And not by her.

“Well, congratulations,” She said, stringing with lies. “Uhh, can I just ask for a favor? You can honestly just ignore me and do it anyways because I have no—“

“Y/N, just say it.”

“It’s just that I’m there all the time, so I don’t know... it might be a little awkward. Not that it matters because you can do whatever—”

“Goodness, woman. Speak,” Harry planted his hands on her shoulders and shook them. “Spill it.”

“More Scoops. Will it be okay if you don’t go take her there? Like on a date? It’s just that it used to be our—the spot we went to.” She somehow got out, looking anywhere but at him.

“Y/N—“ Harry was done messing with her.

She assumed he spoke her name in offense and gasped. “Oh fuck, that was such a stupid question to ask. God, Y/N,” she scolded herself, slapping her hand over her forehead. “Oh my god, please pretend I didn’t say that. Of course you can get ice cream with her. What the fuck is happening to me? I need to go.”

Harry stopped her immediately, leaning down so they were eye level. “Baby?”

“Yes?”

“Stop trying to run away,” He smiled at her.

“I’m embarrassed, I’m sorry I said that. Just forget it, okay?” She pleaded. Harry grabbed her jaw to turn her head towards him so their eyes had to meet.

He wiggled his brows at her, “Guess what, baby?”

“What?”

“There isn’t another girl. Never has been, lovie,” He admitted, standing back up straight.

“But you said—“

“Wanted to hurt you a little. I apologize.”

Y/N blinked, before nodding slowly. “But the other day in your room. That girl.”

Harry instantly cringed and shook his head. “Yeah, that was weird of me. We were working on an assignment together, and I ordered pizza, which I somehow got on my shirt. I was in the midst of changing into a new shirt when you arrived. It was just horrible timing, and literally nothing else happen,” He explained. “Again, I just wanted to hurt you, but I went a little far. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, it’s okay. I deserved that. And you succeeded. Congratulations.” Y/N stuck her hand out for Harry to shake. He threw his head back to laugh, making Y/N frown.

“Stop validating what I did, Y/N. You can be mad.”

“No, I can’t. You are single, and it’s none of my business what you do in your room. If anything happened, you aren’t in the wrong at all. Don’t worry about me,” Y/N rambled, hating each word she spoke.

Harry placed his hands on his hips. “Well, good thing we don’t have to be worried about an if because there wasn’t one at all. Wasn’t thinking about her like that. I never did, never will. I don’t want any girl on this fucking campus, lovie. Are you finally understanding me?”

“Oh, that’s cool. The single life is nice, I guess. No need to settle down, I get it,” she rocked back at forth. Harry sniffled a laugh at her oblivion.

“Let me change my statement. “I don’t want any other girl on this campus. Know why?”

“Why?”

Harry grabbed Y/N’s cheeks and leaned close enough where their lips barely touched. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Because I’m really into this stubborn, insensitive, arrogant—“

“What?!”

“But amazing smartass. And to add to my luck, she also happens to be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She’s all I want.”

Y/N eyes lit up. “Really? Am I forgiven?”

“Of course you are, baby,” He shrugged. “I just need you to learn to trust me, is all.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

“I know you are.”

Y/N hesitated her next question. “Do you still love me?” He smiled widely and wiggled his nose against hers.

“Never stopped, Y/N. I can’t stop. I’m obsessed with you.”

She sighed. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Maybe so, but fuck it. I love you, baby.”

“Can I hug you?” She asked shyly. Harry chuckled and easily lifted her up in his arms. Y/N immediately relaxed in his grasp and wrapped herself around him. “I’m going to be a better girlfriend. I mean, well, if you’ll have me. You don’t have to. We can take this slow. It’s up to—“

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna kiss you now, and when I do, we are going to go right back to the way we were. Okay?” Harry smirked.

“But did you hear me? I’m gonna do better. For you, and for myself. I trust you, Harry. I do,” She said, tangling her fingers in his hair.

“Good. And I believe you, baby.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How many more times are you gonna say it? I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Are you sure you want to? I don’t want you to hold in any anger you have against me. Just get it out, I can take it,” She sighed.

“You’re adorable.”

“Ew, no I’m not. Loser,” Y/N blurted, before her hand immediately covered her mouth. Harry knew how much she hated being called adorable. It was always used in a teasing way back in grade school. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“There’s my baby. I missed her.”

Harry brought her close to capture her lips with his. They both sighed within it and Harry moved to her bed to lay her down. He settled himself between her legs and caressed her face. He stared down at her with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

Y/N looked back up at him and shyly smiled.

“I love you so much, Y/N L/N.” Before he could let her answer, Harry brought their lips back together for a long, very long kiss.

Eventually, their make out session caused their clothes to strip off their bodies. Harry’s hands touched Y/N everywhere as he was desperate to make up all the wasted time he could've had her skin against his fingertips.

When Y/N’s lips grew tired, Harry situated her to lay down on her side, in front of him. The covers were rested loosely against their hips, their entire top half exposed to the cold. “I got you, baby,” He whispered in her ear as she subconsciously pushed her ass against his hardened cock. The plush of Harry’s lips earlier had caused arousal between her legs.

His hips sharply bucked back in response, a deep moan graveling from his throat. One of his hands grabbed Y/N’s top leg to lift and push to her chest, keeping her still, while the other traveled between them to get a hold of his cock. Sensitive to the touch, he moaned against Y/N’s ear and thrusted in his hand.

Harry lifted his head to see Y/N’s eyes tightly shut and lips parted as she anticipated what was coming. She was spread open and dripping for him. “Ready, baby?” He asked, kissing her cheek. Y/N nodded and opened her eyes to look down as both of them watched Harry line himself up. He pressed his tip to her entrance, before letting go to turn Y/N’s head in his direction. Her eyes met his and he smiled while slowly pushing into her.

Y/N immediately gasped, wanting to look at where she was being filled up. But she couldn’t move her attention away from Harry’s face. Her arm reached behind her to find his hair, her fingers pulling at his curls.

Harry moaned loudly, catching himself by biting his lip and hiding his face in the crook of Y/N’s neck.

“Fuck, you feel so good around me, lovie,” He groaned, starting at a slow pace. Y/N head pushed back into the pillow, her eyes rolling in pleasure.

“Harry please,” She whimpered. His hand was still holding her leg up so he had more space to thrust into her. His cock disappeared into her, before slowly sliding out and pounding back into her—allowing her to feel each stretch his cock did to her walls.

His free hand eventually found her breasts that were jumping wildly. He grasp one of them and squeezed before doing it to the other.

Y/N wanted to cry. From the relief, from the pleasure, from the love. She felt his love again. Nothing was hateful as he pushed his cock into her and moaned her name in her ear. When he whispered, “You’re the only one I want to feel around me like this forever,” her eyes welled up.

She tightened her grip in his hair, afraid that he might disappear if she wasn’t holding onto him.

Harry’s head lifted again to watch Y/N. He stared down at her with his jaw agape and releasing raspy moans. She couldn’t speak as his thick and lengthy size reached her stomach. And with his slow pace, he would push into her and keep himself deep inside her for a few seconds. She could feel everything, and it was so good.

“You’re clenching so hard, baby. Look at your leg, lovie. Look at it shaking. Does it feel good? My cock so deep inside of you?” Harry pressed his lips to her ear so she felt his hot groaning breath.

Y/N glanced down at her shaking leg that Harry continued to hold up. It was trying to close as he kept her spread. “Harry,” She whined for him again.

“It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you, baby. I always will.”

She suddenly felt a tear form in her eye. “I’m sorry,” She whispered, closing her lids shut. Harry noticed her wavering voice and slowed himself down to focus on her.

“Y/N, it’s okay. We’re okay, right? I love you, baby. Don’t cry,” He said, before leaning down to kiss all along her face. Y/N nodded and sniffled. “Open up, let me see your pretty eyes, baby. Let me know you’re okay.”

She slowly opened her eyes at looked over at him. He was smiling between every kiss to her face. Harry knew what would help her, and as he changed the angle of his thrust, he hit a certain spot.

Y/N gasped as she grabbed onto Harry. “Oh my... fuck Harry.”

“I know, right on your sweet spot, huh baby?” He chuckled as her hips moved on their own. His pace grew faster as he could sense both of their releases. Her walls were tight around him and became slicker with every thrust.

“I’m close,” She said between a loud moan. She laid her hand on top of Harry’s, which rested on her breasts.

“Yeah? You’re gonna be a good girl and come on my cock?” He asked with a slight growl. Y/N nodded. “You’re so good to me, baby. I need to feel you come so bad. I’m gonna be right behind you. Can’t hold it any longer when you feel this good around me.”

Just from his words, Y/N was able to come. Her head threw back as she moaned through her orgasm. Harry continued to pound into her, chasing his own. He brought his mouth back to her ear so she could hear every noise that left his throat.

“Fuck, I’m coming, Y/N. Fuck, fuck, oh fuck!”

Releasing deep inside her, both Harry and Y/N moaned from the pleasure. They were panting loudly as they came down from their highs. Harry found her lips again to embrace her in another long kiss.

He eventually had to let her go so she could use the bathroom, and he could clean up. But when they were back on her bed, changed into pajamas and seconds away from sleep, Harry held Y/N against him.

“I’d like to ask you officially to be my girlfriend again, even though I don’t have any Ring Pops,” He said, referring to how they started dating the first time when Y/N exchanged Ring Pop rings with him. She laughed softly and nodded.

“I would love to.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles x yn #harry styles imagine #harrystyles #harry styles blurb #college!harry #college!harry x quiet!yn #harry styles angst #harry styles smut

3K notes · View notes

wasabi-gumdrop · 13 days

Text

thinking about modern au Kabru

ivy league college student, probably studying law and political science on a full scholarship. first time living away from Milsiril so he has to promise her, yes mom i’ll call you at least four times a week, no mom i don’t need your amex black card, yes mom the normal credit card is fine i need to learn how to budget like a Normal Person (it has a limit of $20k — that’s not normal Kabru).

Milsiril insists for a long time that she’ll just get him a house off campus so he can have his own space (aka a place she can drop by anytime and possibly live a few months out of the year just to be close to him) but Kabru puts his foot down and tells her the best way he’s gonna make friends is by living with other students (bye mom).

his floor in the coed dorms is the party floor and he always makes sure to invite everybody (his nightmare is accidentally leaving anyone out and having them think that he doesn’t like them). somehow it’s always a good time, everyone leaves with more friends than they came with, it never gets totally out of control, and plenty of girls who are interested in him (and a lot of guys too tbh) bring tons of baked treats so there’s always free food. Kabru is the RA’s favourite person to have in the building (even though Kabru himself is messy but most of the people he’s friends with are nice and clean up after themselves).

he has a porsche (Milsiril gift for his 16th bday) but he’s adamant about not driving it unless he absolutely has to (because he doesn’t wanna look like a douche). BUT he never says no when his friends ask for rides (so he ends up driving all the time anyway). he actually contemplates selling the porsche and going for a more practical car but Mickbell is like ‘dude you are not taking this away from me.’ Kabru sighs and decides to keep it because his friends (Mickbell) like being chauffeured around in a fancy convertible (Rin, Holm, and Dia don’t care, they’re just glad they don’t have to walk to the grocery store).

he’s probably on a casual texting basis with most of his professors and you know he’s going to all their office hours, grabbing beer with them just to keep chatting about life outside of school. and that’s how he winds up in some super secret faculty group chat where he’s now privy to all the college administration gossip.

Kabru is elected for student council during his freshman year and he’s probably the favourite to be sc president one day.

he doesn’t really date (gets too in his head about how he doesn’t wanna ruin any friendships) but he does hang out one on one with a lot of girls and treats them all really well. he probably goes so far out of his way to be platonic that he flies a little too close to the ‘Just Like One of the Girlies’ sun, he kinda forgets that most people interpret it as flirting coming from him. which leads to a few awkward conversations. people feeling led on, a few angry jealous boyfriends, scathing dms about him being a girl stealing homewrecker.

it’s such a nightmare for him and he needs it to end right now. so he begs Rin to ‘date’ him for a week or two and then publicly dump him just so the entire student body gets the message that he is Just A Friend.

Rin stares at him for a few seconds. then she laughs. she laughs and laughs. she laughs for a crazy long time. and then eventually she goes, ‘wow you’re an asshole, Kabru. no i won’t be your fake girlfriend. you’re gonna suffer and i’m going to enjoy it.’

and that’s when Kabru has a moment of enlightenment. ok yeah. asking for that is probably really selfish and mean. maybe he needs to think about girls’ feelings more and that’s maybe more important than his deep seated need to be liked, and when has Rin ever been wrong about anything.

he apologizes. and so begins one of the more serious talks he’s ever had with Rin about being okay with not being liked.

he thinks he can really turn over a new leaf. the whole ‘not worrying about what other people think’ thing goes pretty well — up until Kabru meets the aloof professor for his Monsters and Myths class who keeps forgetting and mispronouncing his name.

Kabru has never needed someone to like him So Bad, he needs Prof. Touden to like him as a matter of life and death, and he’s willing to look stupid for it (fails a midterm on purpose to justify begging for one on one tutoring)

#wow if you made it to the end of this post here’s some surprise labru #kabru says fuck my gpa i need this white boy to like me #i am plagued by demons (labru professor/student situationship)#dungeon meshi modern au #ok but the Kabru Milsiril dynamic is my new favourite chew toy #especially them in a modern setting #all of the lavish gifts and expensive lifestyle that Milsiril would want Kabru to have #perhaps even as a way of depending on her forever (love to an unhealthy degree)#but Kabru is more interested in people than material things #so perhaps he’s a little out of touch financially (thinks a jug of milk costs $12)#but he’s still very much socially aware #enough to know that he can’t just be another annoying trust fund kid with a dumb car and designer clothes and zero fucks about academics #so his social and academic excellence is probably in large part overcompensation for his privileged upbringing #and even the thought of someone not liking him gives him stomach cramps LOL #kabru my love you will always be famous #kabru of utaya #kabru #wasabi rambles #labru #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon

224 notes · View notes

lovewithmary · 8 months

Text

THE ENGINEER | MCU X FORMULA ONE CROSSOVER

summary: where daniel riccicardo is star(k)struck

fc: gabbi garcia

author's note: kind of a filler tbh, I just wanted to practice writing for F1 since this is my first time and it's also the first time I'm creating an SMAU for tumblr.

warnings: iron man 2 spoiler, mentions of violence (I don't describe it, I just lightly cover it)

twitter

real life

"You have to make sure Mick doesn't get on his phone before I surprise him," Viviana said as she navigated through the thick crowd of people, ignoring the stares that were aimed at her.

Ever since the F1 WAGS (whatever that meant) Twitter account leaked that she just arrived in Monaco, she could practically feel people discreetly follow her even if it was to no avail considering her appointed bodyguards (courtesy of the one and only Happy Hogan) were only a couple steps behind her and stopped whoever came closer than what was comfortable.

"How exactly am I going to do that when all of you are practically stuck to your phones all the time?" an irritated voice replied.

"Be careful Toto, your age is showing," the Stark cooed, and she could practically see the man roll his eyes even if she couldn't see him.

"Also, didn't you say that you were going to send someone for me? I don't see anyone who looks like they'd know what they're doing be here," Viviana told Toto.

"Viviana!" She heard a voice in front of her and practically sighed in relief when she saw him.

"Lewis!" She greeted gleefully, hugging the man when she got close enough.

Lewis hugged back, and joked, "Never thought I'd see you outside of Fashion Shows,"

Viviana first met Lewis during the Monaco Grand Prix back when she was only 11 and he was 25. She didn't meet him for long though, as their meeting was cut short when Vanko infiltrated the race and attacked her father. She was quickly escorted away when it happened, in fear that Vanko would attack her next.

It was the first and last time a Stark would drive in a Grand Prix (or will it?)

(possible foreshadowing?)

However, Viviana would see Lewis in other places like the countless Fashion Shows he was a part of and she was attending. He'd always ask if she was ever going to visit the paddock, but he'd always get rejected and he understood considering it brought up bad memories for the girl.

"Trust me, if it wasn't for Mick, I would be out doing something else that isn't bumping elbows with random people," Viviana shuddered, as Lewis looked at the clearly out-of-place girl in amusement.

As they began walking, Lewis and Viviana started catching up, talking about various things. "I didn't know you and Mick were friends, much less best friends," he told her, making her shrug.

"We haven't seen each other in a long time, because I was busy with the company and he's busy with F1, we never had time to hang out in public. We'd only ever hang out at the Tower off-season," she told him.

"I mean, since you're here now, you're probably going to come here more now," he told her.

"Lewis!"

Both Viviana and Lewis turned to see Daniel Ricciardo, who managed to catch up with them. He gave a wide smile to Lewis, but when he realized who the girl next to him was, his eyes turned wide for a second before stuttering. "Uh—hi. Daniel Ricciardo," he said, holding out a hand for her to hold.

Viviana looked at him in amusement at his starstruck expression before shaking his hand and said, "Viviana Stark,"

"Oh, I know," Daniel blurted out, his face turning red at his obvious mistake.

Deciding to save his friend from further embarrassment, Lewis said, "Daniel, I was just escorting Viviana to surprise Mick at Mercedes, do you want to—"

"Yeah! I mean, sure. It'll be nice to see George and... George," Daniel said.

As Viviana turned to start walking again, Daniel turned to Lewis and said "George and George?! I couldn't even come up with another name?"

"You were practically drooling at the mouth, mate," Lewis chuckled.

"It's Viviana Stark! She's an absolute legend and not to mention she's really beautiful!"

"If this is how you react with her, I'm only imagining how the other drivers are going to react,"

#f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 x oc #f1 oc #f1 ig au

458 notes · View notes

pinkpigtailsprincess · 1 month

Text

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ The Advice Column Issue No.1 ; How to deal with fake friends while balancing school life 🎀🧁

Hii Dolls!!!⭐️ This is officially the first issue of my Brand new segment The Advice Column!!!! and i chose the topic fake friends bc as someone who’s had an alarming amount of fake friends in the past i can definitely give endless advice in this topic and its a collab with the @honeytonedhottie !! bc i thought she could also give so really good advice!!🎀⭐️

Are you struggling with keeping up in your studies? worried if your friends are talking behind ur back? Stressed? Feeling like school and socials are just to much??? DONT WORRY!! Dolly n Honey are gonna save the day!! 🎀⭐️

Section 1 ; Honey!!🍯

how to balance ur school and social life (in bullet points) !! 🎀🧁

- make a list of priorities and stick to it like its a handbook

- practice saying no to events and saying no to excessive studying, the key is to find an equilibrium

- combine social and academic events

- make sure to use ur time wisely and do whats important first, so that then u can have loads of time for ur social life!

Section 2 ; Dolly! 🎀

No.1 ; Stand up for yourself!! ⭐️

if ur so called “friend” is constantly make smart remarks about you,scrutinizing you for the smallest thing,being passive aggressive or really just trying to hurt your feelings always stand up for yourself and never let insult like that because that shows that you have no self respect and then they’re gonna just keep doing it set clear boundaries and don’t be a doormat never let this person/people walk all over you , if you didn’t appreciate something they said don’t take shit from them address and make sure it never happens again

No.2 ; spotting a secretly fake friend⭐️!

now there’s obviously “friends” that you can spot from a mile away that they’re definitely toxic but theres also a certain type of friend that could be the sweetest to ur face but secretly talk shit behind ur back and its honestly not that hard to spot one of these “friends” so here are some characteristics of ‘the secretly fake friend’

- never sticks up for you

- constantly lying

- at time can be very passive aggressive

- will tell you that someone was talking about you and not defend you at all

- will make you feel like a bad friend even if they’re wrong in the situation

- if you’ve ever confronted them on their behavior and they say they’re sorry but then repeats the same actions

- lets their other friends talk shit about you

- HUGE VICTIM COMPLEX!

these kinds of fake friends are tricky bc you really can’t spot them at first and then it can be harder to cut them off which brings me to my next point

No.3 CUT THEM OFF !!⭐️

listen i know its hard to let go of these people at first im mean I’ve had to do it multiple times but i swear it gets sooo much easier to not have these people in ur life its way better to have no friends than a bunch of friends thats secretly hate you don’t stay caught up on toxic people like this its a waste of ur own peace and well being , block them,stop following them,stop talking to them have NOTHING to do with these people/person

No.5 ; Ur not special !!

now this title is a bit alarming but what i mean by that is if you have a friend that’s constantly talks down about people for no reason whether it be their friends or someone they know and im not talking about the standard gossip talk bc tbh everyone gossips but im talking about like drags them through the mud calls them mean names and purposefully spreads rumors about other people they’ll do it to do you as well ur not special i doesn’t matter what this person is telling you they’ll talk about any and everyone it doesn’t matter people like this do not care

No.4 ; Being Un-phased !! ⭐️

now after you cut them off either gonna

A. make it seem like they’re innocent and have been nothing but nice to you and try and make you feel bad

B. Act like theirs beef when in reality theres not they just want a reason to start a problem

C. to the standard mean girl remarks side eyes,whispers,random pointing and slightly laughing, or even in some cases talk loudly about you but indirectly

now in any of these situations never let it bother you show no reaction these kinds of people feed off ur fear of them shows no reaction when it comes to things like this and you can also do it back side eye them back,give them weird looks back now im definitely not saying be just like them but play their game don’t let disrespect like this slide and i know how hard it can be especially since these are people ir support be close with but i promise making friends that actually care about you is WORLDS BETTER!!! you’ll have such a peace of mind and being able to make friend that actually care about you is such a freeing feeling!!!!

Reminders!!! 🎀🍯

- they’re opinions don’t matter

- these people are no above you in any way shape or form

- stress is normal don’t let it get to you !!

- you deserve much better friends

- it normal to feel sad after cutting them off

- this person/these people don’t deserve you!!!

- you got thiss!!!

#2sweet2eat🎀🧁#manifesting #The Advice Column with dolly 🎀⭐️#dolly #advice #it girl #itgirl #dream girl #self care #self improvement #that girl #wonyoungism #girl blogger #girl blog aesthetic #girly aesthetic #girl blogging #dollygirl #dollcore

190 notes · View notes

goddess-of-green · 19 days

Note

[Request]

Rulie deserves some pampering time. Make him relax and not lift a finger!! Needs to hear nothing but praise and gratitude for once in his life! (All the Links do tbh but!! Singling our Hyrule for this)

Praising and Pampering Hyrule

(A/N:) I love Rulie sm. He's such a sweetie pie he really does deserve some loving and recognition.

Contains: GN!Reader, the hc that Hylian ears wiggle bc I love it, Rulie being mildly insecure and also doted on

Word Count: 348

Hyrule blushed immensely, but made no moves to protest as you stroked his cheeks and cooed at him. He was currently buried up to his neck in blankets, and you wouldn't let him get up for anything.

It was...nice.

While maybe slightly smothering, it was nice to have someone caring about him so much. Actually...doing things for him. Encouraging him to rest. It wasn't something he was used to.

Hyrule was usually the one going on errands, doing quests for ungrateful people and offering others a reprieve when they needed. Now he was the one in that position.

It was an odd, unfamiliar feeling, but...he kind of liked it.

Especially because it was you.

You were so kind to him. Always so sweet. So thoughtful. He didn't deserve it.

And maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed like all that attention was reserved just for him. He never saw you doting on Wind, or criticizing Legend's sleeping habits, and he certainly never saw you cooking for Wild.

But you did all those things for him. Sometimes you were like a mother hen with how you cooed over him. But he didn't mind it. Not at all.

He liked being worried about. He liked being taken care of. He liked being loved on.

...And he definitely liked being praised.

"So strong..." You murmured into his jaw, pressing kisses to his face. "So noble, so kind...and so handsome..."

His ears were twitching enough that there was no way you hadn't noticed, and it only made him more red–pink crawling up to the tips of his ears as they wiggled happily.

"I- I'm not..." He whispered shyly, but his resistance was rather weak. Even if he didn't believe such things about himself, he didn't want you to stop saying them. So he wasn't fighting it too hard.

"Hush, yes you are." You smooched his cheek, and pulled his head into your chest. "You're precious and sweet and such a gentleman-"

He buried his blushing face into your chest.

Oh Hylia, you'd be the death of him.

#i think im getting over my writing block!! yay!!#*party popper*#link x reader #linked universe x reader #lu x reader #lu hyrule x reader #hyrule x reader

143 notes · View notes

randoimago · 4 months

Note

I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for a bit, but what about a githyanki tav attempting to woo some of the companions with normal non-githyanki tactics they totally didn’t learn from a cheesy romance novel they found?

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Gale, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll

Note(s): I love this idea so much (need more githyanki love tbh). Decided to add Lae'zel because I just find it very funny to imagine her reaction and how often she'd roll her eyes.

Gale

Was reading his own books when you approach and begin your attempt with reciting some cheesy line. Gale can't help but cut in and help you by correcting your pronunciation. He asks you to keep going though, you're doing great.

As smart as he is, it takes him a little bit to realize that you were flirting with him. When Gale does piece it together, he recites his own line from some book he read. The metaphor probably doesn't completely translate to you and he has to explain it a little, but his words are sweet even if the reaction is delayed.

Gale will compile a list of romance books where you both can read from and pick out very romantic lines in. And he can explain some of it to you as well to help you learn more too. He views teaching you and sharing knowledge as the most romantic of dates.

Lae'zel

She is unbelievably unamused when you approach her and start talking like one of the noms on this land (you try to correct her that it's "Gnome" but she doesn't listen).

You tried to explain that you found a book and thought it'd be helpful to learn the mating rituals of the people on of this land and she thought you hit your head. Will not stand for any of the name calling you do. It is insulting to be called "pretty like a rose" when she should be as strong as a dragon.

If you wish to really inspire her for a night of passion then she'll show you how to actually accomplish that. Her determination to take charge and show you how it's done isn't quite what you had in mind, but it worked.

Shadowheart

She's very wary when you approach her. And then you start spewing some poetry? Shadowheart is confused and doesn't know if this is some kind of manipulation tactic you have or what. But then she sees your own confusion over some of the lines and now she's a bit amused.

Each time you approach, she's crossing her arms and listening to you very obviously recite lines you rehearsed. She'll wait until the end and comment that she never heard of a gith enjoying poetry. When you bluntly tell her you read from a book in hopes of wooing her, well that completely surprises her. And she feels a bit bad at being so on guard at first when you were trying to flirt.

Shadowheart will tell you that poetry isn't always the way to her heart, some compliments would be nice. But really, if you want to romance her than join her for some alcohol instead and your lips can be used in other ways than speaking.

Wyll

Wyll is definitely a hopeless romantic and to see you come up to him and begin saying some rather cheesy lines, well he can't deny how flustered it starts to make him. A soft smile is on his face as he listens to you attempting to flirt.

Finds it so adorable that you do have a bit of confusion on your face as you recite some lines. Probably because you don't quite understand the meaning due to the cultural difference, but he stays quiet and lets you continue without correcting.

There's a good chance that Wyll has already read the cheesy romance that you stole the lines from. He can't help but bring it up and ask. When he hears your confirmation, it makes him happy and he recommends other cheesy romances that you could read together and he can explain the meanings to some of the flowery language (as well as use his own cheesy lines as well).

Taglists: @reo-the-leo @unhelpfulnpc

#bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 x reader #wyll ravengard x reader #wyll x reader #bg3 wyll x reader #gale dekarios x reader #gale x reader #bg3 gale x reader #shadowheart x reader #bg3 shadowheart x reader #lae'zel x reader #bg3 lae'zel x reader

156 notes · View notes

scoobydoodean · 4 months

Note

what’s your opinion on “lebanon”? as it actually is in the show and how fans/fic writers interpret/approach it.

cause i’ve been binge-reading “lebanon” fics and i’ve noticed two patterns: sam might argue with john or he stays calm but regardless he preaches to dean about what a terrible father john was, and dean always falls back into his performing and just keeps defending john. now i love all that angst, really i love it so much, these fics are phenomenally written… but i’m just wondering if i’m crazy to think that dean wouldn’t actually fall back into that role to such an extent, and whether the episode actually kinda got it right by having dean feel secure with his family as it is. iirc my issue with the episode is that neither dean nor sam got to express any issues with john in an honest but civil way (and that john is too nice) but that still i liked dean’s expression of security, but tbh it’s been awhile since i last watched it so maybe i’m missing/misremembering smth… thanks!

One of the strangest things I see in fandom is how many people's sense of how Sam views John versus how Dean views John is just flat out wrong. The idea that Dean is always defending John while Sam is always criticizing him the whole show is negated over and over and over in the actual show itself—extremely overtly.

There's two issues here in my mind that lend to this fandom problem.

The fandom accepting Sam and Dean's "John Narratives" at face value in the early episodes of season 1. For example, watching 1.08 "Bugs", where Dean claims to have no resentments toward John and says Sam also was a dick during Sam and John's fight, and going, "Well there we go. Dean has no resentments and refuses to criticize John but Sam will." At this point, we already know from 1.06 "Skin" that Dean does have resentments toward John for not appearing to care about him and for abandoning him, and we get further indications in 1.11, and 1.21 in this season alone. Another example is Sam and Dean's clashes in 1.10 "Asylum" and in 1.11 "Scarecrow", which are largely analyzed by the fandom as moments where Dean is blindly following orders when they have some other, better option Sam is pushing, and Dean is just refusing to go along with Sam's much better ideas because he's too focused on believing their dad knows best... when that is not actually what is happening at all. Sam's alternative plans in the beginning of 1.10 and 1.11 are absolutely stupid. In 1.10, he wants to call the FBI on John to find him. That's his big idea—instead of following the coordinates John just sent them and seeing if he's there. In 1.11, Sam's big bright idea on finding John is to abandon some people to die on a time-sensitive case so he can go search all of Sacramento for John with nothing but an area code. His plans are dumb, plain and simple—and while we do see Dean hiding his own resentments in these episodes too, that does not remain true—which brings me to the other issue here.

Fandom doesn't leave room for the brothers perspectives on John and their outward expressions of those perspectives to shift or mature over the series. This is particularly funny because their perspectives are literally swapping over the course of season 1, and have pretty much fully swapped by 2.02.

Sam's shifting season 1 perspective on John

What actually happens in season 1, is that Sam, who starts out burning with resentment and hurt toward John for disowning him and being a smothering drill sergeant and absent, binge-drinking dad, slowly begins empathizing him because he's now suffered a similar trauma and is having extreme difficulty coping with it himself! Sam's empathy for and understanding of John (and hell—even respect for John handling it as well as Sam thinks he was capable) is already beginning to show in 1.02—where Sam asks Dean "How does Dad do it?" (i.e., deal with the same burning rage and desperation for vengeance that is tearing Sam apart) (gifset). In 1.04, he learns John was bragging about Sam's accomplishments to other people (gifset). In 1.08, when Dean tells Sam that John was never actually disappointed in him—that he was scared Sam would get hurt if he wasn't around (gifset here) a lot of Sam's anger about the Stanford fight fades. He ends the episode saying "Dad did the best he could" (a repeated quote often misattributed as coming more from Dean) and saying he wants to find him to apologize to him for the things he said (gifset). John and Sam share a heartfelt, tearful hug in 1.16—at the end of which Sam begs John not to leave, and in 1.20, John himself apologizes and explains what was going on in his head when they fought, and it ends with them smiling and laughing as they acknowledge they understand each other and they're the same. I track Sam and John's relationship through the tag, #we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone because Sam says that during that conversation in 1.20 (gifset).

Dean's shifting season 1 perspective on John

At the same time this shift is happening in Sam, we see Dean going the exact opposite direction. He starts out believing John has their best interest at heart even if they don't understand his actions, but the resentment is there too (1.06). In 1.09 and in 1.12, Dean needs help desperately, and John doesn't answer. While Sam is learning that John actually cares about him, Dean is growing more and more concerned that John doesn't care about him (Dean) specifically. We see this resentment start to come out (season 1 compilation set here) in 1.20, when John says he wants to keep the boys safe and that's why he's ditching them, and Dean calls it "A bunch of crap". Dean begins standing up to John to his face from this episode onward—finishing 1.20 with a "Yeah well we saved your ass" in response to John saying they disobeyed him. In 1.21, John tries to get on his case, and Dean lays into him about not answering the phone and specifically about abandoning Dean when Dean needed him in 1.09 and 1.12. In 1.22, Sam tries to get his way by telling Dean that John wouldn't want them to bring The Colt to save him, and Dean yells "I don't care what Dad wants!" and then when Sam starts throwing the blame on him for everything, Dean says,

Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.

Dean has compared Sam and John more than once during the series, and it has never ever been a compliment.

Sam and Dean in the rest of the series

Sam and Dean's interactions about John in rest of the series are... almost universally the opposite of what the fanfics you've picked up suggest. Their interactions almost always show Dean criticizing John and Sam keeping silent or defending him, or reiterating that John did what he had to/the best he could.

Gifset on Dean's whole season 2 "Fuck John Winchester" vibe here.

In 2.01, Dean shouts at John for (it appears) abandoning him to die:

DEAN Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?

Sam and John have a horrible fight where John blames him for Dean's condition and Sam tells him to go to Hell only for him to make a demon deal and literally go to Hell that same day (gifset) and Sam tries to start another fight right before John dies but John refuses to engage (gifset). The result ends up being that Sam and Dean have fully swapped places on John by 2.02 with John's death as the catalyst. John's death leaves Sam with regrets that their last interaction was Sam trying to start a fight (2.02). He decides he wants to hunt in John's memory (2.02) (gifset1, gifset2) while a part of Dean desperately wants to quit the life altogether—he's clawing the walls but feels helplessly trapped (2.09, 2.10, 2.20).

Sam defends John while Dean suggests John lead them down the wrong path with a dogmatic rule book (2.03). He demands they go to Lawrence so he can place John's dog tags over Mary's grave (2.04). He spends the season regurgitating John's orders, pushing Dean to do what John told him to do (2.11, 2.14, 2.20) while Dean wants to quit the life (2.09, 2.10, 2.20) and burns with anger toward John. In 2.10, Dean says "I wish to god he'd never opened his mouth!" about John.

In 2.11 "Playthings":

SAM (shoving DEAN to face him) Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to. DEAN Yeah, well, Dad's an ass! (SAM frowns in confusion) He never should have said anything! I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids! SAM No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!

We see Dean seething with resentment while Sam defends John's orders and tries to enforce them on Dean, carrying the legacy of their father in more ways than one.

Over and over, we get indications that a part of John treated Dean as disposable while he sheltered Sam, and that Dean is increasingly aware of the impact that's difference has had on him—to the point he realizes his father's neglect and abuse is the reason he isn't fighting to save himself in 3.10 "Dream A Little Dream Of Me". Dean and John's relationship is intentionally paralleled with a physically abusive relationship between a father and son in this same episode (gifset, meta), and in this episode, Dean rejects his father as an "obsessed bastard", calls Bobby his father (gifset), and decides from this point forward, he's going to fight to save himself from his demon deal because fuck John Winchester.

DREAM DEAN Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you? DEAN Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He– who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

And yeah! Dean also still loves John! And more than that—he craves John's protection. We see this in 3.14 "Long Distance Call" when the Crocotta calls to Dean as John from beyond the grave, telling Dean exactly what Dean wants to hear: "I never wanted this. Never. You're my boy, I love you. I can't watch you to go to hell, Dean," and telling Dean he can save him. This is pure longing for the love and protection Dean has always desired from John but feels like he's never received. Instead, he's always felt disposable.

In season 4? Oh boy... we get this incredible bit in 4.10 between Dean and Anna:

ANNA I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that -- DEAN laughs. ANNA What is so funny? What? DEAN Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate.

Then in after meeting Adam in 4.19, Sam and Dean have a fight about whether to bring Adam hunting with them or leave him to a normal life:

DEAN 'Hunting is life. You can't have connections.' Dad gave you that exact same speech, remember? It was just before you ditched us for Stanford. You hated Dad for saying that stuff, and now you're quoting him? SAM Yeah, well, turns out Dad was right. DEAN Since when? SAM Since always. Dean, when I look at Adam, you know what I see? DEAN A normal kid. SAM No. Meat. Because the demons and monsters out there, that's all he is. I hated Dad for a long time. I did. But now I think I understand. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same. DEAN Listen to yourself, man. SAM You think I’m wrong? DEAN I think it's too late for us. This is our life. This is who we are, okay? And it's fine. I accept that. But with Adam, he's still got a chance, man. He can go to school. He could be a doctor.

Sam says John did right by them. Dean thinks he absolutely didn't, but they can't change who they are now—they can only keep others from falling down the same path.

At the end of the episode? Oh boy...

DEAN You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much. You two were practically the same person. SAM looks over. DEAN I mean, I worshipped the guy, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listen to the same music. But you were more like him than I will ever be. And I see that now. SAM I'll take that as a compliment. DEAN You take it any way you want.

It is NOT a compliment.

In 5.16, Dean is confronted with god's intentional absence, and burning with resentment, says to Joshua,

Forget it. Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right. I’m used to that. I’ll muddle through.

In 5.13, Sam takes the opportunity presented to him by young John's presence to defend their father and tell John that he forgives him (gifset).

JOHN Look, how long have you known about this...hunting stuff? SAM Pretty much forever. My dad raised me in it. JOHN You're serious? Who the hell does that to a kid? SAM Well, I mean, for the record, Mary's parents did. JOHN I don't care. You know, what kind of irresponsible bastard lets a child anywhere near—Y-you know, you could've been killed! SAM I, uh...came kind of close. SAM laughs. JOHN The number it must've done on your head...Your father was supposed to protect you. SAM He was trying. He died trying. Believe me. SAM sits down on the bench under a window. SAM I used to be mad at him. I—I mean, I used to... I used to hate the guy. But now I—I... I get it. He was...just doing the best he could. And he was trying to keep it together in—in—in this impossible situation. See... My mom, um... She was amazing, beautiful, and she was the love of his life. And she got killed. And...I think he would have gone crazy if he didn't do something. Truth is, um, my dad died before I got to tell him that I understand why he did what he did. And I forgive him for what it did to us. I do. And I just—I love him.

What Lebanon does is present Sam with the opportunity to reiterate his forgiveness toward a John who understands the context:

SAM Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… [voice breaks] and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye. JOHN Sam. Son. I am so sorry. SAM I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.

So yeah! The fanfic narrative here where Sam is Mr. "Dad was bad" and Dean is Mr. "Nooo dad did the best he could" IS ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!!!!

150 notes · View notes