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blainesebastian · 4 months

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something real

words: 13,045 ship: austin butler x female reader rating: SFW except for one explicit scene summary: i took inspo from a request about fake!dating for a wedding and from another film with a similar premise. what else do you do when your ex is getting married? hire a fake date notes: feel free to visit my austin masterlist warnings: none, but check the rating. tag list: @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan, @stylespresleyhearted,

“You’re losing it.”

A short laugh escapes your lips because god, maybe you are. This all started out easily enough—you needed a date for your ex’s wedding. Right, the fact that you were even invited kind of drives you crazy. It’s not like you didn’t have a good relationship with Todd, you did? But it also doesn’t change the fact how things ended—he ‘meant’ to break things off with you but started seeing someone at the same time. Claire. The girl he’s marrying. But you’re not about to go through life with grudges and anger when you can just let things go.

Which is why you’ve entertained this wedding invitation in the first place?

But to go alone? That’s a fate worse than death.

Which, ironically, is exactly what your friend, Jill, is telling you you’re going to be with this idea you’ve come up with.

“It’s all perfectly safe.” You mutter, sliding onto a bar stool and turning to look at her. You’re wearing a light blue dress, pair of booties, and jean jacket. Just casual enough but also hinting you’ve got a figure to show off if you really wanted to.

She scoffs, “Yeah, that’s what everyone says before they end up on 60 Minutes.”

You can’t help but smile, tugging the file out of your course before setting it on the bar top. “Do you want me to explain it again?”

Jill puts her hands on her hips—as if that will somehow make her comfortable with all of this, but she’s not protesting either. So you open up the file and—

“So my neighbor’s used this service before to go to her high school reunion, you know, so she didn’t end up there alone. She went onto their online platform, filled out a survey and bam, she was matched with someone to go.”

Jill narrows her eyes, “For twenty thousand dollars.”

“Well it’s not charity,” You throw back, “I’ve done the research, there’s a ton of reviews—all positive. It’s not like it’s about sex or anything, it’s just…companionship for one event.”

Jill looks at the file, crinkling her nose, “There’s so many other ways you could have done this—Rick, the guy in 6B? He’s always thought you were cute.”

You laugh a little, “If I go out with Rick, there is a good chance I’ll end up missing some limbs—dude is creepy, Jill.”

Her friend rolls her eyes but it’s fond, opening up the file and pointing to a blank spot where this guy’s photo should be, “Okay, but you don’t even get to know what he looks like?”

“I think it was my Wi-Fi,” You state honestly, “Some of the images weren’t loading. But that’s why you’re here,” You grin, “Safety measures. So—” You gently push on one of her hips, “Go find a table, order a drink while I wait for Austin.”

“That’s the gigolo’s name?”

“Wedding date,” You correct, shooing her away until she heads to a table.

Taking a breath, you look at the reflective surface of the bar mirror in front of you, mentally praying that this somehow not a huge mistake and order a drink.

Chewing on the drunken cherry in your Manhattan, you glance down the bar as you see someone handsome talking to a small group of women. You wonder if that’s Austin, looking for you—he’s about ten minutes late. Your stomach clenches anxiously, knowing that maybe Jill was right and this is utterly ridiculous. But…you got invited to the wedding late (either it was a last-minute thought or it got lost in the mail) but there was no way you could organically find someone to ask.

Sure, you could have brought Jill or some other friend but…deep down? You know this is about making Todd feel utterly stupid for cheating on you, for leaving you for someone else. You don’t want him back, of course, but that feeling of satisfaction? That look on his face when he sees you with someone else? You want it.

You can’t not go and you can’t find someone random in your life already to go with…so when your neighbor mentioned this quick fix? How could you not look into it? You’ve got a ton of money saved from over the years, not to mention a small investment your grandfather put in your name. What’s the harm in looking into this, right?

“Y/N?”

Turning on the bar stool, you nearly swallow your own tongue as you’re met face to face with who you assume is Austin. And joke’s on you because he’s ten times more beautiful than the other guy at the bar you saw talking to those women. He’s tall, lean, in a pair of dark jeans and a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket. Easily handsome, like…James Dean or Elvis Presley. Doesn’t have to try very hard.

And suddenly something hysterical crawls up your throat as he takes a seat next to you, introduces himself as Austin, and apologizes for being late because of traffic because—

“I’m sorry—” You interrupt, shaking your head, “This uh, this isn’t going to work.”

His eyebrows draw together in confusion, his mouth opening and closing, “Excuse me?”

“You’re,” You laugh lightly, cheeks heating up. There’s this sickly sensation gripping your stomach, telling you to run, “No one is going to believe that we’re dating.”

And maybe that’s something oddly pathetic you shouldn’t have uttered outloud because what’s even worse, Austin seems to grip what you’re saying and his features soften. You do not want pity or sympathy, you’re just…stating a fact.

Austin takes in a soft breath and looks towards the bartender, ordering himself a beer, confusing you a little because you expected him to just…take off. There’s no money involved at this point, it’s a clean break. This meeting is just to discuss details.

“I think you’re underestimating yourself,” He states gently, eyes sweeping over your form. And god, he’s good, isn’t he? You suppose this is his job, making women feel good. Confident. Even though it’s all a lie.

Letting out a breath as his drink is set down on the bar, you figure there’s no harm in…talking with him, right? He came all this way; you can at least wait until he finishes his beer to turn him down. You’ll just go to this damn wedding alone—it’s really not that big of a deal, right?

Austin takes off his leather jacket, hanging it up on a hook underneath the bar and he smells amazing—some sort of cologne that’s fresh and almost citrusy. You run a hand through your hair and order another Manhattan.

“So your request said a wedding?”

“My ex,” You clarify, “And I don’t want him back, or anything, I just want him to feel like an idiot.”

Austin smiles a little, humming— “Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. I’m assumin’ he already is one.”

A small laugh stutters forward in your chest because yes, he is. Your shoulders start to relax just a little because maybe Austin gets it. By not going or going alone you…you don’t want Todd to think that he’s somehow gotten one over you, that you’re lonely or broken ever since you’ve separated.

“Have you…done weddings before?”

He shifts a little on the barstool so that he’s facing you a little easier, “I’ve done weddings the most,” He admits, “Two high school reunions, one funeral.”

You raise your eyebrows, setting your drink down on the bar. “A funeral?”

Austin shrugs lightly, “Some women just want a hand to hold on their hardest day, a shoulder to cry on. Someone to talk to.” He licks his lips, taking a sip of his beer, “I’m not one to judge.”

You straighten your shoulders and…you suppose you’re really not in a position to do that either, given you’re here to hire Austin so you feel less alone and pathetic at a wedding. You take a long look at him for a moment, —curious. He doesn’t want to be doing anything else?

“Can I ask—why are you doing this?” Your fingers trace shapes into the condensation on your glass. “This whole fake-date program?”

Austin clears his throat, “You can ask me whatever you want,” He starts and that within itself seems like a dangerous proposition. “I work at this café near here but uh, it doesn’t exactly bring a lot of money in. I want to be an actor, like…a serious one, the money I get from these dates I’m savin’ up to go to L.A.”

And he essentially gets to pretend to be someone he’s not. Like an endless list of auditions.

There are other things you want to ask, other questions stuck in your throat about doing weddings. Why weddings? The whole concept seems like a bad idea—a high school reunion, a holiday party, even a funeral makes more sense, doesn’t it?

Those aren’t emotionally connected events, there’s no…opportunities to fall into something deeper than what the contract of attachment allows. But weddings? It’s about love and finding your person and…going to one with someone else feels like such a slippery slope.

Or maybe it doesn’t because Austin is a professional.

“So if I…if we do this, what does it entail, exactly?” You take another sip of your drink, as if you need the liquid courage for his response.

A small smile graces his handsome face again, “Don’t overthink it. It’s whatever you want, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

You feel like there’s this heat uncoiling in your belly even though he’s not suggesting anything. Somehow, it’s in the ocean blue of his eyes—a depth there. You clear your throat, “You mean uh—if I require a dance partner? Because I love to dance at weddings…usually badly.”

Austin laughs warmly but shakes his head. “I meant if I was goin’ as your date or a boyfriend.”

And oh, of course, you hadn’t even thought about it but of course Austin would want a more specific role to sink his teeth into and your mind spins about what you want to do. It’s just one night, one silly wedding, there’s no long con here. It’s not like Todd will even care who you show up with, right? You’re the one who wants to feel less lonely—

And yet—

“You can think about it, if you need to—”

“Boyfriend.” You say, cutting him off. Heat returns to your cheeks…mise well go big or go home, right? If you’re going to do this? This has got to be a bad idea, right?

“Okay,” Austin smiles, “Good.”

So it’s settled that he’ll meet you at your place beforehand, you’ll iron out details of your relationship in case anyone asks and then you’ll go to the wedding together.

Austin stands and he tosses some cash on the bar counter (enough to cover your drink as well) and he hovers for a moment, tugging on his leather jacket. “My number’s in the file, in case you need it.”

Then there’s a moment where Austin watches you, fixing the lapels of his jacket. His one hand then rests on the bar, taking a step closer to you, and the way that you’re seated, your legs open just slightly to accommodate his body in your space.

“Don’t hit me, alright?” He smiles a little, leaning down, and honestly you’re the one that feels like you’re getting sucker punched in the stomach. Air right out of your lungs. “It was nice meeting you.”

You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry as your eyes flutter to his lips, “Yeah, you too.”

There’s more than enough time for you to pull away, but you don’t, so he kisses you.

It’s nothing obscene, but slow and gentle. Warm. Just enough to make your heart pound against your ribcage, electricity singing in your veins. You suppose it’s something you should get used to if Austin is going to pass as your boyfriend.

You raise your eyebrows a little as he pulls away, hot under the collar of your jean jacket.

“Figure we’d just get that out of the way so you could concentrate.” He teases and god, your mind is spinning. You kinda hate that he’s made you feel like this so easily, like somehow it’s second nature.

“What, that doesn’t cost extra?” You manage to throw out there, finding your voice.

Austin grins, another soft laugh rumbling in his chest. “I’ll see you soon.”

You let out a slow breath, running a hand over your hair as you watch him walk out of the bar before downing the rest of your drink.

“So that’s your date, huh?” Jill asks as she comes up behind you—honestly her voice kinda sounds like cotton in your ears. “Todd is gonna swallow his own tongue.”

And you can’t help but grin.

You meet one more time before the wedding, just…something to solidify that you do, in fact, know what you’re doing. But also to get a bit more comfortable around Austin and the fact that he’s going to be your boyfriend. You let out a slow breath, aggravated by how crazy that sounds. Maybe Jill’s right, maybe this is a bad idea (despite how handsome and charming Austin is).

He’s picked you up to go somewhere but won’t tell you where. And when the engine turns off, you undo your seatbelt and look out the windshield, “A custard house?”

“Was hopin’ you could go for somethin’ sweet,” Austin smiles a little, “They make these waffle custard sandwiches that’ll change your life.”

You hum lightly and start to get out of the car, a little confused because…well, you’re not sure what you expected, but it wasn’t this. “We’re here for ice cream sandwiches?”

Austin scrunches his nose in mock offense at her flippant description, “No, we’re here for waffle custard. You need to work on listenin’, come on.” He gets out of the car too and locks the doors.

You know you’re about to paying Austin a decent amount of money to be your stand-in date, your fake boyfriend, dragging him to this wedding for god knows what reasons make sense in your head but…you suppose you didn’t count on him being like this. A tiny bit thoughtful, sweet, funny even.

Or maybe he’s already a decent actor.

You follow him to the counter, your eyes trailing over at least thirty different custard flavors—not only that, but there’s twice as many toppings. How are you supposed to choose?

“You know what you want already?” You ask as Austin rolls up the sleeves of his jean jacket a little.

“I always know what I want.” He leans on the counter, turning towards the woman at the register to order French vanilla—but stops when you make a noise. He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. “Somethin’ you wanna share?”

You purse your lips and rocks back onto your heels, shaking your head, “No I just…vanilla, really? You don’t seem like the type.” She teases.

Austin smirks, straightening his back. “Oh, huh.” He motions to the large display menu. “Put your money where your mouth is, baby. What should I order?”

You let the pet name slide (and it does, like heated molasses right down in your veins), which is probably a dangerous slippery slope, but you’re too busy trying to take in a custard selection at the moment to care. You chew on your lower lip, slipping through the flavors written in chalk on the board and decides to go with your favorite pairing—

“He’ll have chocolate and strawberry custard in that waffle sandwich thing with…” You hum, “Caramel sauce and chocolate sprinkles.” You smile, clearly happy with your selection before ordering the same for yourself…except you also get chocolate sauce and whipped cream.

Because why the hell not?

“You’re gonna have that all over you before the night is over.” Austin motions to the dripping mess in your hands, carefully shelled between fresh waffles wrapped up in foil.

You slide yourself onto the hood of Austin’s car, almost sliding back down but managing to lean against the windshield before losing your custard sandwich.

“Challenge accepted.”

Austin smiles a little, sitting down next to you, looking far too handsome sprawled out on his car.

You realize that everything between you both is so dangerous, wrapped in gentle dynamite, the softest breath or touch capable of explosion. But it’s also tantalizing in a way that excites you—Austin is different, gentle but rough with the walls he keeps up.

Everything about this is a lie –circles in your head, over and over, trying to remind you not to take anything too seriously. And yet? You bury it deep with a bite of your custard sandwich. You moan softly and lick chocolate off your lips because Jesus, this is incredible.

Austin smirks, licking custard between the waffle before he takes a bite of his own. “Told you it was worth the stop.”

“I’m not going to admit you somehow know all just because you have decent taste in custard.” You smile and takes another bite of your waffle sandwich, leaning back to watch cars drive by.

“Give it time.” Austin glances over and you can feel his gaze, always like a magnet tracing the curves of your body. You want to tell him that you enjoy when he looks at you like that, to be felt and seen all at the same time, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

You wonder if he looks at every woman who’s ever paid him like that.

You’re not sure you want to know.

You turn and meet his gaze, holding it for a moment before a small smile graces your lips. “Do you really work at a café?”

He nods, leaning further up against the windshield. “It’s called Mug Half Full; been there about three years.” He licks his lips, pulling a napkin from his pants pocket and wiping his chin where he feels caramel sticking. “What do you do? You didn’t mention it in your email.”

You swallow down a bought of self-loathing at the question and decide to take another bite of your sandwich; sweet hiding sour. “I uh, I’m kinda in-between jobs at the moment.” You know Austin has to be able to see through that terrible excuse of an answer. “I’m currently getting an online degree in education.”

Austin finishes his custard waffle, which is admirable because yours is two seconds away from becoming soup in your hands. You lick at the sides as he crumples up a napkin and puts his trash in a can nearby so it’s not in either of your way.

“What do you want to do?”

The question shouldn’t offend you as much as it does, the want and need to defend yourself raising your hackles a bit. You bite down on reacting too sorely; he’s just asking a question—and you realize you haven’t given him a reason not to ask something like that. Your bland response is what prompts the statement.

You suppose you’re just…too used to people asking that, especially since society makes you feel like you somehow got a late start in figuring things out. In reality, it’s never too early or too late to be whoever you want. You’re just…getting to that.

You clear your throat, setting your custard sandwich down on your lap a moment, the foil protecting your clothes. “I have no idea,” You admit with a soft laugh, “My relationship with my ex kinda took all my energy—supporting whatever he needed, you know? Now I’m just starting to figure myself out.” And you’re proud of that progress, even though it feels like pushing a boulder up a hill sometimes. “I might teach maybe, one day.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, slight amusement dancing in the corners of his eyes. He smiles gently, looking down at your hands before he picks up your sandwich and licks whipped cream off the corner. Ridiculously obscene and unnecessary but you let him do it anyways.

You have apparently become accustomed to sharing things—you’ve noticed that he continues the ruse of soft touches and intimate gestures when no one’s watching. You think it’s to help solidify the fact that you’re supposed to be dating, supposed to be into one another. Which isn’t very hard when he does things like that with his tongue.

Austin tosses your trash like he did with his own before turning to look at you, handing you a napkin to wipe your hands off. “I could tell you wanted more. And you know, there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Then why does it feel so guilty for you to admit— “Sometimes it feels selfish, to want things for myself.” You swallow, letting it sink into the air. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even your best friend or your parents.

“Sounds like someone really selfish made you feel that way.” He says gently and it’s like…wool has been taken off your eyes. Something you maybe knew but needed to hear.

It’s not what you expect him to say, not in the slightest, but it warms you from the inside out either way. You nod because yes, you’ve never thought about it like that but yes, that’s it exactly. Realizing that taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do—knowing yourself and that you deserve to want, that it’s normal, even.

Austin hums softly, moving to slip off the car. You swing your legs around and when he offers you his hand, you take it to slide off as well.

How easy it would be to lean up and kiss him, how he’d probably taste like hints of chocolate and strawberry. You wait for him to let you go, for his hand to stop holding yours. But he doesn’t.

You lick your own lips, your eyes looking to his lower one, how it pouts out gently when he looks at you—and you decide to stop waiting for things you want. If you’re going to pay for his company, you might as well enjoy it.

You press your lips into his own, capturing something sweet, lips moving together like you both were always made to kiss. Austin’s one hand moves to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing your hair back around your ear before eventually pulling back. You’re breathing a little shakily, your noses brushing, Austin taking his time to trace your cheekbone with his lips before he opens up the car door for you.

“You’re not charging me extra for the gentleman treatment, are you?” Or for the kisses I keep stealing?

Austin smiles, a soft laugh leaving his throat as he waits for you to put your seatbelt on. “Not yet.” And closes the door with a wink.

You think about canceling six times between when you wake up on the day of the wedding to the moment you slide your dress over your head. You’ve told yourself that this was and continues to be a terrible idea and if you hadn’t paid him half up front through a cash app, you’d have the nerve to tell him never mind. Kisses and all, you really feel like you’re starting to lose your damn mind.

Though you know even if you told Austin to forget the whole thing, you still have to go to this wedding. (You could probably skip it no big deal, but the last thing you want is Todd to assume you’re bothered either). Canceling now would definitely mean going alone and you can’t stomach it, not when you feel like all of your insides are already in knots.

You smooth your hands down the front of your dress as you hear the doorbell, taking the steps downstairs carefully in your gold heels. You’ve settled for a navy-blue number that shows just enough cleavage and is ruffled at your middle, hugging curves and kissing your skin beautifully. You feel confident and comfortable, which is important for a long night.

You sigh, glancing at your front door for a moment before turning the knob and opening up to see Austin. He’s standing in a suit, beautifully polished, hair perfectly coifed on his head. A navy button-down underneath a gray suit jacket, tie to match with a red spidery design that reminds you of tree branches in the winter.

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows because, “Why are you shakin’ your head?” He asks as he steps over the threshold and you close the door.

“I just naturally assumed you were going to show up in black. Black in your profile picture that finally loaded, black at the bar… I thought that was the only shade you owned.”

He runs a hand lightly over his chest. “Grays in the same shade family.” He’s joking but you’re not laughing and finally he just throws his hands up a little, “What’s the big deal?”

“Because we match.”

Austin looks down at himself and pauses, doesn’t get it, gives you a look that makes you feel a little crazy. “That a bad thing?”

“It’s—” No, it’s not exactly a terrible idea but it somehow digs under your skin because you want today to be perfect and Austin is supposed to be your boyfriend and you can’t be that couple that goes all matchy-matchy to events, right?

What are the odds that he shows up in something that is the exact same color as your damn dress?

“It’s too perfect, it’s not believable.” You say and he raises his eyebrows because that does not make one lick of sense. He takes a step towards you and you mirror one back, shaking your head.

Austin lets out a slow breath because you’re nitpicking and it annoys him, a flare of impatience decorating his handsome face. “Well I don’t exactly got another suit in my back pocket and we’re already late.”

You narrows your eyes, “Just…follow me. I’ll change.”

You’re up the stairs and in your bedroom before you realize what you’ve said, Austin slipping in behind you and looking around the room, drinking you in with permission you’ve accidently given him. You turn suddenly and slip off your heels, pressing one hand to his chest to stop him.

“Don’t move.”

He smiles a little and nods his head, sticking his hands in his pockets as he watches you slide into your walk-in closet to change. You sigh softly and run a hand over your forehead before you take a moment to unzip your dress and glance at your options.

“A lot of beige.”

You roll your eyes and pull out a black dress, quickly pulling it on and kicking your navy blue one to the side before stepping out of your closet. You don’t bother to zip it up until you make sure it’s the right one.

Austin has dutifully not moved from the spot on the carpet where you’ve left him and he scrunches his nose at your dress, “You goin’ to a wake?”

“What’s wrong with beige?” You glance around your bedroom; at the little accents you’ve added that have color to them. Some shades of coffee colored brown and touches of teal here and there. It’s minimalist but tasteful.

“It’s just not what I pictured.”

“You pictured my bedroom?” You ask, but the corners of your mouth pull slightly as you put your hands on your hips.

Austin tilts his head at you, eyes traveling over your body in an unashamed way. “Maybe.” He pauses for a moment to let that sink into your pores. “You don’t seem like a beige. Also, no to that dress. I can maybe get you not wantin’ to match completely but that doesn’t line up with what I got on at all.”

You nod and turn to go back into your closet, pulling the dress off and standing far too long in your underwear trying to decide on a color range. You could go gold…but that feels too flashy, gray is out of the question and so is another navy dress so…

You finger red fabric for a moment that matches the scarlet on Austin’s tie and pull it off the hanger.

“I’m not actually that fond of beige,” You admit over your shoulder as you pull the dress up—it’s a fit and flare that kind of reminds you of the sixties. Something that hugs your waist with a high-neck tanked top and flares out like a wide flame at the bottom. It hits just below your knees and your gold heels will still go nicely with it.

“But the house kinda came this way and…I never took the time to fix it.” You walk out of the closet, pulling your hair free from underneath. “Todd didn’t like bold colors anyways.”

Austin’s eyes descend on you like a cold rush of water, a wave crashing down onto your shores. He stares for what feels like a long time, his hands coming out of his pockets like he wants to touch but can’t—too far away. You smile softly as his gaze sticks, he’s captivated by the dress, and you notice he has to shake his head as you approach to be able to speak to you.

“So I’m guessin’ he’s not gonna like this.” He reaches to touch your waist, fingers pressing warmly into the fabric.

You chew on the inside of your cheek a moment, looking up at him. “Do you like it?”

He smirks gently, pulling on your elbow to turn you around. He doesn’t reply but you feel suddenly naked under his gaze as your bare back is exposed to him. He takes his time finding the zipper and slowly draws it up into place, fixing the little hook at the top. His hands rest against your shoulders and guide down, squeezing your arms before letting you go.

“Get your shoes. We’re already late.”

You let out a long sigh that somehow turns into a pout, making him smile, “We could stay here, you could give more wisecracks about my bedroom decorum.”

Austin smirks and grabs your purse from where it’s seated on the bed as you slip your heels back on. “As amazing as that sounds, that’s not what you’re payin’ me for.”

And the words sound sour, swallowing them down, nodding your head as you leave the bedroom with him.

The wedding itself isn’t actually terrible—it’s beautiful in a way that would make any woman envious. Lots of flowers and gold designs and as you watch the entire ceremony take place, you have moments where you wonder why you’re here. Was it really that important for you to show up? And not only that, but pay a date to be here? You keep going back and forth, like a serious game of tug-of-war.

Why did it matter if you showed up alone? Or with Jill?

Austin helps you with your coat, his hand on your lower back as you walk out of the church and towards the reception hall which is being held in this beautiful botanical garden that has rooms you can rent for things like this.

People begin to pile into the building, pausing at the coat check before heading into the reception all, and it’s right there that you suddenly feel like bolting. Truth is? Todd was your boyfriend for years before your breakup (a breakup that might have never happened if you hadn’t realized he was cheating, because clearly he hadn’t taken the initiative until it was too late). And it’s probably so stupid that you remained friends with him, that you were invited to this wedding, that you for some reason care about what he thinks—even now.

But you do.

You should have just moved on and thrown the wedding invitation in the trash but…feelings don’t always come in black and white. You constantly live in a shade of gray.

And you’re worried someone is going to see right through you tonight.

Austin squeezes your hand, getting your attention as you remain grounded by the coat check. He’s patient, waiting until your gaze meets his own. “You’re shakin’.” His other hand covers the one he’s already holding.

You nod your head and offer a smile you don’t feel. “I thought this would be easy. Having you here as a distraction, smiling at all the right times and drinking too much wine in a nice dress,” You shrug your one shoulder, “It doesn’t change how I feel.”

Despite the small amount of privacy the coat check wall provides, you can feel eyes on you two from different parts of the room; people slipping past to get a glass of champagne from the cash bar, fluttering in-between hors d'oeuvres tables and congratulating the couple. Guests who know who you are, who are whispering about you. You can hear Todd a few feet away; big laughs and too loud discussions that tell you he’s a little drunk but genuinely happy.

Or maybe this is all in your head.

“Look, I think you were gonna feel this way no matter if you came alone or with someone.” He runs his thumb over your knuckles. “But you can still do all the other things you mentioned,” Austin leans in, brushes his lips over your cheekbone as he talks, “Drink too much wine in a beautiful dress and smilin’ definitely doesn’t hurt.”

He pulls back and you lick your lips, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him again. To feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close, back outside, to his car, away from this place where you feel like you have to be someone you’re not.

Austin grasps your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, waiting until your eyes meets his own again. He leans forward to brush your lips together, gently, more to distract you than anything else because it’s not a kiss.

“Women hire me because they want to feel wanted and if that’s what you need to hear, then fine, I do want you, Y/N.” You let out a breath that sounds too shaky for your own good, your knees slightly buckling. All the other gazes you once felt on you fade away, until it’s only you and Austin in an empty botanical garden.

“But hearin’ that doesn’t matter until you want things for yourself. You want someone to believe in you? You want to feel confident? Wanted?” His hand falls to your waist, “Good enough?”

You swallow thickly, his words reaching something that’s still raw inside of you, that still hurts to think about. You want to pull away, nearly do, but instead surrender to his weight against you. It’s not his fault that he does a better job of reading you than you do looking in a mirror.

“Then it has to come from you first.”

You shake your head as he pulls away, his hand very simply returning to yours as you both move towards the cash bar. “I know you think you know me from a few meetings and a detailed email request. But you don’t.” Your words at least sound stronger than you feel.

Austin looks at you over his shoulder and smiles but says nothing in return.

Maybe the problem is, he does know you, even from the simplest interactions. Maybe you’re just not used to being seen. Todd never saw you, even when you gave him so many chances to try. You suppose at that point you need to want to try.

You’re seated at a table that has mostly co-workers and friends and you attempt not to cringe when someone asks you how you know the bride and groom. Austin swoops in and responds that they’re friends, his arm stretched out over the back of your chair. You’re grateful because the words we dated are sitting in your throat like a lump, difficult to swallow over.

The night spins forward, you’re able to avoid the bride and groom for the duration of it, just enjoying food and a little bit too much wine and hanging out with Austin. There are long conversations where you get to know one another, fill one another in about things that are real, beyond the layers of this fake-date situation.

It’s nice, seeing him in that light, getting to know him as if you’d bumped into him at a bar and enjoyed his company.

You almost wish that was the case, instead.

His arm squeezes around your waist as you both dance on the dance floor, his jacket on the back of his chair, dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. You’re definitely a little tipsy, the room is rose-colored, but all in all? It feels like a crisis has been avoided, you’re actually having a good time.

“Can I get you another glass of wine?” Austin asks, brushing his lips over your forehead, “Maybe some cookies from the dessert table?”

You grin, “You know me so well.” And it’s not a line, somehow, you’ve been craving cookies for the past half hour.

Austin smiles, nods, squeezes your waist and leaves you to do just that. You somehow ache with missing the heat of his body once he’s gone—and that’s how you know you’re slightly in over your head. You have to keep reminding yourself that none of this is real—the way Austin talks to you or looks at you, the way his hands travel over your body, the slight brush of his lips against your own.

It's all a lie.

A lie that you paid for.

Running a hand over your forehead, you turn and nearly bump into someone, blinking as you look up and—

“Todd.”

Your ex smiles, “Hey—I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure if you would.”

Neither was I, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” Chewing on your lower lip, you’re struck with being unsure of what to say, scanning the crowd for Austin before clearing your throat, “Uhm, everything has been beautiful.”

Todd smiles, nodding, taking a look around for his bride. “Thank you. Are you uh, here with Jill?”

You open and close your mouth like a goldfish until you feel that familiar arm slide around you. “No this is Austin,” You take the glass of wine and have a hearty sip and it instantly makes your head spin.

Todd clears his throat and even though he’s smiling, it’s clear he’s giving Austin a once-over. He did not expect you to be here with someone. “I didn’t know you were bringing a friend that wasn’t Jill.” He kinda laughs, like maybe it’s a joke that you don’t have many other close friends other than her.

But Austin is quick to smile, “Actually, I’m her boyfriend.”

And there it is, the look on Todd’s face that you were after this whole time. It’s quick, gone almost as soon as it appears, but lingers in his eyes. Regret, maybe even jealousy. Even though his wife appears by his side and introductions are exchanged.

Luckily the conversation doesn’t last very long, the bride and groom are swept towards other people, more dancing. Which is good because you’re pretty sure you noticed that the bride couldn’t keep her eyes off of Austin.

What a couple her and Todd make.

Downing the rest of the wine, you set it on the table, letting out a slow breath. Austin keeps his hands firm on your hips and you can’t quite meet his eyes. You’re not quite sure how…this wasn’t what you expected, nor wanted.

Just feels like a big mistake.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asks quietly, seeming to read your mind.

You nod and he keeps his arm around you until you make it outside and reach his car.

That last glass of wine did you zero favors and by the time you make it to your front door, you’re dropping your keys instead of sliding them into the lock. Austin smiles a little, picking them up and unlocking everything, pushing the door open. You’ve got a firm hand on his shirt because you’re swaying slightly, almost a little afraid of what might happen if you let go.

What if all of this is one weird dream?

“Where are we going?” You ask as he comes inside, closing the door behind him.

“Water n’bed.” Austin replies as he guides you into the living room.

You scrunch your nose and look to the ceiling, definitely knocking yourself off balance as the room spins. Austin lets out a short grunt as he catches you, steadying you against his chest.

“In that order? That’s so boring.”

He chuckles slightly, guiding you both until he has you in front of the couch, encouraging you to sit. “You got somethin’ else you’d rather do?”

You can’t help but grin at the question, poking at his chest. “I think you know what I’d rather like to do.” It’s like hot lava pouring from your lips, you can’t seem to stop it even though you know you’ll have burns later.

Austin hums under his breath but doesn’t respond, concentrates instead on keeping you on the couch once you’re seated.

“Stay there,” He says when you try to get up, holding onto your shoulders and pressing you gently down. “You good or you gonna slip off?” There’s an amused smile pulling handsomely at his lips as he tilts his head down to look at you, slipping his thumb and forefinger along your chin.

“Good, I’m so good.” You nod, determined to give him responses that make sense. You just wish the room would stop spinning.

Only when he feels like you mean it does he pull away from you. You closes your eyes as your fingers grip the cushion, trying to hold yourself in place. None of this really helps and instead you just end up feeling nauseas, forcing your eyes to open so you can see Austin.

He’s taken his jacket off, tie gone and shirt unbuttoned a bit, and seeing his chest and forearms makes heat unwantedly pool between your legs and you lick your lips, trying to focus on what he has in his hands.

“He…he honestly didn’t think I’d be there with anyone.”

A crinkle appears between Austin’s eyebrows and he pauses, “What?”

You swallow, not sure if your trail of thought makes sense. “Todd. Jerk.” You give as an explanation.

Something passes over Austin’s face but it’s gone as soon as it appears and he crouches in front of you, his one hand slipping over your knee a moment, “Do you actually care what he thinks?”

You hold his gaze for a long moment before shaking your head. He hums softly, squeezing, his thumb between your thighs and it’s really too distracting.

“Then fuck him; neither of those two seemed like they should be giving relationship advice.”

You giggle something ridiculous and cover your face with your hand a moment, glad you were able to make sense of all that even though you probably didn’t need to bring it up.

“You got anythin’ like a long t-shirt?” He changes the subject as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get pants on you.”

You huff out a sound and rub a hand over your face, most likely smearing makeup in the worst way. “That’s alright, I like bein’ pantless.” You reach over and is happy you don’t tumble, using one hand to hold onto his shoulder to get his attention. “Upstairs, first drawer on the right.”

He’s back and forth quickly; makes you wonder how long you’ve actually been sitting there.

Him undressing you is a blur; you note that he does his best to dip his gaze when he can to give you a little privacy. Just enough that you can figure out that your head doesn’t go into one of the arm holes and assists when you starts whining that you can’t get it right. You throw your wedding dress aside and kicks off your heels, letting out a soft huff when Austin disappears into the kitchen.

He comes back with a warm washcloth that smells like lilac soap and he waits until your gaze focuses on him before he asks whether you can do this yourself.

You nod a little absently, taking the washcloth from him and wiping your makeup off before handing it back to him. You pull as many bobbypins as you can find from your hair and toss them onto the coffee table, pulling your strands back up into a bun before collapsing face first into the couch.

You barely feel the couch dip as you smush your face into a pillow, blankets being draped over your shoulders.

When you wake up, you don’t automatically remember where you are.

You lift your head and groan softly, pinching your eyes with your thumb and forefinger trying to get the pounding to stop. There’s a soft blue light casting shadows on the walls of the living room and oh, that’s right, you’re home. Austin brought you home last night.

You swallow and nearly sit up too fast, leaning up on your elbows because oh, oh fuck, now you remember. A wave of nausea crashes down on you for moving and you flutter your eyes closed briefly and hope that helps. When you feels confident enough to fix your gaze on something other than the inside of your eyelids, you turn to look at Austin who’s sitting up in one of the lounge chairs nearby against a few pillows, watching TV.

He didn’t leave. He stayed with you the entire night.

The sound from the TV isn’t loud enough to be heard but you can tell he does this often, eyes on the screen, just absorbing the images that flicker to life. His head dips to look over at you when you move; he looks tired. You really hope he didn’t sit up to just…keep an eye on you, making sure you slept alright.

You clear your throat, the sound scratchy and dry regardless of your trying, “Am I dead?”

Austin smirks a little and stands to come and sit by your legs, handing you a glass of water that’s on the coffee table. “Here. You passed out before I could get you to drink any.”

You sigh softly and close your eyes, moving to sit up further and is glad to see the room isn’t spinning anymore. “Lovely.” You drink deeply after a few tentative sips to make sure you can keep it down.

“You stayed.”

“I did.” Austin’s quiet for a few moments, playing with the corners of one of the blankets. Clearly he’s not going to elaborate. “You got a headache?”

You hum an affirmative response but it’s nothing water and Advil can’t cure. You lean your head back against the headboard, closing your eyes again for a few moments to avoid the blue light spilling into the room from the TV. You give yourself some time to sip your water before you open them again, setting the glass down on the table. There’s cookies there too, from last night. Austin kept them.

You sense embarrassment licking at your nerve endings, feeling a little ridiculous for your behavior. You should really know better than to let yourself go like that, especially since it doesn’t take too many glasses of wine in a row for it to happen.

“Sober?” He asks and there’s a tilt to his voice that you don’t like, far too amused.

You groan and turn your head to look at him, trying to muster up a glare that doesn’t stick. “Unfortunately.” You rake your fingers through your hair, trying to not even think about what you might look like.

You’re just glad you didn’t vomit.

A deep breath settles in and out of your lungs before you turn your head to look at Austin, the light of the TV casting beautiful shadows on his face. Your eyes skitter over the scruff beginning on his jawline and your fingers itch to follow. You clear your throat, getting his attention, and he turns his head to look at you.

“I’m sorry for getting plastered.” You smile a little because he does; that same amusement back on his face, though it doesn’t bother you this time around. “I’m shocked that you do weddings.”

You allow yourself to laugh a little, shaking your head like it’ll somehow clear the fuzzy memories of him bringing you back to your home, tripping over yourself. You regret the way you’ve carried yourself, but a tiny part of you is glad you decided to let yourself go, to enjoy the open bar and let your emotions run a little rampant for once.

You’re so used to keeping everything inside, to holding it all in. For once you didn’t.

Austin’s chewing on words he’s not saying, you can see the hesitance in his expression, wanting to say something but unsure if he should. You wait, don’t press, and eventually,

“Admittedly, I haven’t done a wedding in a while.” He shakes his head, “Because they tend to be messy in a way that I never expect.”

You wince, rubbing the back of your neck because…clearly you hadn’t planned on making a fool out of yourself but Austin quickly continues to explain,

“I don’t mean you.” He turns a bit to lean against the couch, his shoulder pressed along the cushions. Austin licks his lips, his eyes tracing your jawline and lips, slipping down your neck and collarbone enough to make you shiver.

“In your request, you said somethin’ like, ‘I don’t want my ex to feel like he’s taken something from me. Something that’s mine and will always be mine’.”

You search his eyes for a moment and when his finally meet yours, something warm and aching starts in your chest, blooming outward like a flower only meant to grow at night. You swallow thickly, “You remember that?” Because you kinda…bared you soul in that request for a date service. You hadn’t meant to come across so desperate but…you were also just being honest.

“I have a very good memory,” He attempts to wave this off, and you want to tell him not to—that what he’s saying matters. Austin’s seeing you, over walls you didn’t realize you had up after all this time.

“You said kind of implied that you wanted Todd to regret cheating on you, but I think you really meant that you wanted him to see that he didn’t break you.” He licks his lips and trails his pinky finger along your jawline as he curls loose hair behind your ear. “I’ve met a lot of women in similar situations, and not all of them have handled it like you.”

A laugh slips out of your throat, something you can’t stop. You’re trying to break the tension gathering in the room, something heavy and thick like warm cotton settling over both of you. Handled it? You haven’t exactly done that well, have you? If last night is any indication.

“What, they didn’t hire a male escort and get piss drunk?”

He smiles gently, shaking his head. “They let their exes break them because they couldn’t figure out who they were without them.”

The warmth in your chest threatens to burst and you wish for a moment that you could see yourself the way Austin does, so clearly, like everything is laid out before him, all he has to do is read.

“But not you.” It barely leaves his mouth before you close the distance between them.

The heat erupts in a single kiss, both of Austin’s hands tangling themselves in your hair, pulling it loose from your haphazard bun. He kisses you like you’ve always wanted to be kissed, even though you hadn’t realized it was something that was missing until now.

He inches you forward, forcing you to move until you’re straddling his waist, blankets getting caught and tangled in-between. Anything that’s been building up suddenly releases into you both, like a wave crashing, heated breaths against skin and not being able to get close enough. Austin tugs off your long t-shirt and a shiver travels down your skin as you reach up and automatically unclasp your bra.

You sit there for a moment, almost in the wake of realizing what you’ve done, and you watch Austin’s gaze. His eyes drink you in, hands still on your waist, trailing up your sides, thumb slipping underneath one of your breasts to press against your ribcage. The touch is intimate enough to cause something sharp in your throat, thick swallowing for it to disappear. You lean forward, presses your foreheads together and you kiss again.

You’re fumbling to get blankets down, to move everything out of your way and Austin flips your positions, easing you down onto your back along the cushions. He rifles for something in his suit jacket that’s nearby while you slip your hips up to slide your underwear down and off and away. He’s got too many layers on and you itch to immediately remove his shirt when he’s overtop of you again.

Toned skin greets you and you can’t help but touch, sink your fingers in, drag your nails. The noises that leave Austin’s throat are enough to single handedly build the heat beginning in your lower belly, something you don’t think you ever want to stop hearing. He moves only long enough to take his pants off, tossing them to the side, and he holds your gaze—

He waits.

You swallow and know this is such a bad idea, that nothing good can come from this. But wasn’t it Austin who urged you to figure out what you want? You want to feel confident? Wanted? Good enough?

Then it has to come from you first.

There’s a half-nod in Austin’s direction before he’s slipping a hand down between you, to put a condom on but also—

You moan, rolling your hips as you feel his fingers slide against you, inside of you. He teases, rolls flesh between his thumb and forefinger, lips falling to your neck to leave kisses that eventually find your mouth again.

He takes his time even though you wish he wouldn’t, building you up and letting you down easy before pressing inside. You gasp and your back arches, hips rolling forward, Austin leaning down to capture your mouth again, to absorb your sounds. You wrap your legs around him, which makes moving a little difficult, but you don’t want him to move too far away, want to constantly feel him—keep you both connected.

Austin nips at your lower lip with his own, not taking you long to build up what you’ve started. Pleasure circles in your veins, pulling you towards an end that you doesn’t want to reach yet. He doesn’t stop, keeps moving his hips forward at a quickening pace and you dig your nails into his back.

You barely have time to warn him before you’re cumming, though because your bodies are molded together, you think he already knows—probably knew before you did. He grunts as he loses himself in you, his face falling to your neck, gentle panting and lazy kissing.

You tilt your head back so your throat is exposed, your hands slipping down his back and settling on his waist, his skin a little slick to the touch. He lays there for a long few moments and you take one another in, his chest pressing into your own as you both breathe.

He pulls back too soon for your liking, but you don’t have the energy to tell him to stop. Austin cleans himself up, slipping onto the couch again, this time behind you, and pulls you close. You turn on your side, blankets coming up over your shoulder as you puzzle-piece both of you together, your face hiding in his neck, already falling asleep.

Austin says nothing, which is fine with you, he doesn’t need to say anything. His lips find your shoulder, a few kisses here and there, hands intertwining in your hair.

You finally figure out what you want—

and you want this. You want him.

You wake up before Austin does, pulling yourself from the couch and disappearing into the bathroom near the kitchen. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you kinda shake your head before drawing up Jill’s text messages on your phone.

Y/N: I think I messed up.

You wash your face and feel a little more human, sitting down on the closed toilet seat as she pings you back.

Jill: oh no, what happened? Jill: please tell me Austin didn’t turn out to be a serial killer

You laugh, your hand covering your mouth. Jesus. A small, hysterical part of you wonders if that’d be easier to deal with.

Y/N: the wedding went fine, he brought me back home, stayed the night Y/N: may or may not have had sex with him on my couch this morning??

Jill instantly tries to call you and you press the red button—you can’t talk to her when he’s still here.

Y/N: I can’t, he’s still here

Jill: !!!!!! Jill: girl omg— Jill: how was it? 😉

Running a hand over your face, you wonder if you should have ever said anything. Then again, there’s this small smile tugging the corners of your mouth. In general, you know that there’s nothing wrong with what you’ve done—both of you are consenting adults. But then there’s this whole other layer of…paying him to be your date. It’s not like you paid him for sex or anything but…

You kinda can’t help but wonder how many jobs he takes that end up like this.

Y/N: it was perfect but that’s not the point

Jill: so what is the point?

You sigh softly, tapping on your cash app and just…wondering. So many insecurities and questions and wonderings wrapping around you like a blanket, except it’s far too tight, suffocating almost. Taking in a breath, you set your phone down on the counter, looking up when there’s a knock on the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” Austin asks, “You alright?”

Reaching over to grasp the knob, you open the door with a soft smile, “Yeah.”

Austin looks ridiculously adorable slept on. His hair is slightly askew, skin looking warm, a soft, tired look in his eyes. God, you can’t believe he’s been here for so long in these wedding clothes, back in his slacks and a white undershirt.

“I uh,” He clears his throat, “M’gonna head home. Shower, change. But…”

You lick your lips, your stomach flip-flopping with eagerness.

“I was thinkin’ I could come back later; we could talk?”

God, talking sounds like such a great idea. Not to mention you could shower too, put yourself together, feel more like someone capable of having a serious conversation. So you nod with a soft smile—that sounds perfect.

And then—

You can pinpoint the exact moment that Austin glances to the sink and sees the cash app open because his expression changes, like a shadow passing over but instead of dissipating—it stays, darkening the color of his eyes. A breath catches in your throat as you straighten your shoulders, words on your lips and stuck on your tongue. Nothing comes out.

His gaze flickers up from the phone to your eyes and what you see there is like a cold bucket of ice water, anger but…deeper, it’s—

“Not what it looks like.” You finally say, breaking the tension into pieces with a hammer.

Austin hums, nodding his head and licking his lips. He’s trying very hard to speak without sounding annoyed, “What’s it like then?” He asks, the words daggered. “Cause it looks like you were about to pay me for services rendered.”

You shake your head and stand from the toilet on wobbly knees. Austin takes a step back from you, almost like a caged animal, getting ready to bolt. And then you realize, right, he’s not angry, he’s hurt.

“No—”

“Don’t lie to me,” He grounds out, the words chewed on between his teeth.

A shuddered noise leaves your lips because you can tell you’re losing it, this conversation slipping like sand between your fingers. He’s not going to be willing to listen to you if you confirm he’s right, that you had thought about it—if you admit you weren’t sure what you were doing or what sleeping together meant.

You distantly know that this isn’t going to end well, no matter what you say. Austin tore his walls down in front of you, exposed himself, and now he looks like a fool for doing it. Even if it’s on accident, you’ve hurt him, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to backpedal without looking guilty.

“I thought about it,” You admit after a moment. “I wasn’t…” The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel cheap; you know that this thing started as a transaction but also that something changed last night.

“Nah, it’s good. You were payin’ me to do a job, right?” Austin turns to walk back to the living room, gather up his things. And it’s like…you have no idea what you can possibly say, how you can stop him.

Your legs carry you forward, “Austin, don’t.” You sigh and puts a hand on your lips, suddenly feeling nauseas as he moves too quick for you to stop him.

“Business is business. You can stop feelin’ so guilty,” He straightens his shoulders before grabbing his jacket, slipping it on. Metaphorically it feels like a shield, another layer he’s building back up between them both, shutting you out.

He can’t possibly leave like this, right?

You’re practically stumbling over your own feet as he makes it to the front door, “Please don’t walk away.”

His hand pauses on the doorknob, just for a moment, like he might actually be considering your words. But then he yanks the door open and slams it shut once he’s outside.

You don’t go after him.

Time goes on.

You expect that Austin might reach out to you—to apologize, to start over, or maybe even request the unfulfilled payment that he was supposed to receive after the wedding date. But nothing, it’s radio silent…and you think that’s worse.

You want to reach out to him on your own, but you’re not even sure where to begin. How to apologize for thoughts that are incomplete in your head. How to express emotions that are sitting at the bottom of your ribcage.

You’re just hoping for a chance to apologize and explain yourself, even though you’re not entirely sure you deserve it. Is this really it? Going back to business as usual and pretend they never met one another?

You sigh as you hear a few knocks on your door and hate how it feels like hope, quickly moving from your kitchen to tug it open and see Jill on the other side. You give her a small smile, letting her inside,

“I got your twenty texts, you alright?”

You run a hand over your forehead and shake your head, moving towards the kitchen for Jill to follow. You offer her a cup of coffee, sitting back at the counter with your own. Wrapping your hands around the ceramic, you glance up at your friend,

“I screwed up.”

Jill sighs softly, grabbing a cup for the coffee because clearly, she’s going to need it. “Tell me what happened; your texts were all hysteria and no detail.”

You map out the whole thing from start to finish, the chapel, the reception, the night of, the morning after—your voice drops on intimate details, like somehow you have to keep them exactly that. Intimate.

“Damn, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, “I know…it was an accident.” You swallow. “The money part, anyways.”

She adds a few spoonfuls of sugar to her mug, stirring. “Does tall, blonde and brooding know that?”

You let your hand fall from your face, eyes focusing out the window above the sink at the city sounds and sights. Suddenly a dark blue gaze rekindles in your memory, the hurt there, wounded and refusing to let you past his boundaries again.

“I tried to tell him; he wouldn’t listen.”

Jill hums under her breath a moment and shuffles, “Maybe give him some time? Try him tomorrow.”

Easier said than done, “I don’t even know where he lives. He’s not going to pick up the phone if I try to call him; texts are useless.”

Your friend’s quiet for a few moments, considering—and then a sound leaves her lips and you picture a lightbulb going off on her facial expression. “But you know where he works.”

You stand outside the café that Austin works at for what feels like a long time, staring at the sign and pacing back and forth to your car parked down the street. You really hope no one is watching you because you probably looks crazy; you feel crazy. You can’t just approach this man where he works, can you? You don’t even know if he’s working today.

But it’s…worth a try, right? Like one last shot before you just drop it.

You’re not sure that if the situations were reversed, he’d show up at your front door, so. Or maybe you’re just hoping he would.

So after spending ten minutes contemplating what to do, you finally force yourself to walk up the café door and make your way inside. It’s a hole in the wall but filled to the brim with people at tiny circular tables, waiting in line to place their order with a beautiful blonde cashier and satisfied customers adding sugar and creamer to their coffees at a station to your left.

The heady scent of fresh coffee and baked goods slam into you like a truck, leaving you almost breathless. This place blends in when it should stick out—she wonders if you didn’t know Austin if you’d come in to order an iced coffee just walking by on the street.

Your eyes graze behind the counter until you finally spot him further down, filling baked goods trays in a window that were once empty. A ton of questions hit you at once; did he make those baked goods that are at his fingertips? How does he separate the time between the café and the stand-in job? What are you going to say to him?

Before you can fully approach him, Austin glances up—and spots you.

He’s not happy to see you but he doesn’t look as pissed off as the last time you saw him, so, you consider that progress. You swallow as you walk towards the counter and your hand settles on the top of the glass, the lights above the pastries warming your palm.

“Hi.” That’s it? That’s all you can say? This conversation is going to be just as painful as the last one.

Austin doesn’t have a chance to open his mouth because another worker, a blonde girl, rushes to the counter because she must be on register, “Hi,” She smiles, bright, “We have orange scones on sale today. What can I get you?”

You smile gently at her, glancing at Austin and wondering if he’s going to step in or just…continue not saying anything to you. You suppose you don’t blame him.

“I’ll uhm, take a hazelnut latte and one of those scones,” You nod, reaching for your wallet in your purse, “Thank you.”

“I got the rest of this, Chloe,” Austin steps in as you stick your card into the reader. “Thanks.” He watches her go before turning his attention back to you, customers passing by and receiving orders that he’s already packed at the end of the counter. He hands over your receipt.

“You stalkin’ me now?” He asks but he’s not amused, drumming his fingers on top of the counter.

You let out a slow breath and he moves to fill your order, working the espresso machine with practiced ease, “You won’t text me back.”

“Maybe that’s cause I didn’t wanna talk to you,” He says pointedly before motioning towards your right, “You skipped the line.”

“I didn’t want to order anything, I just wanted to talk.”

He smirks but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes and he grabs an orange scone, wrapping it in a napkin. “Look at you, really learned how to be honest about what you want.”

“You taught me how.” You insist, trying to catch his gaze. When you finally do, you hold it there, trying to will him to listen to you—because you’re not grasping at straws, meeting him, spending time with him…being with him really taught you about parts of yourself that were missing.

Or maybe not missing, exactly, but lying dormant.

“I just want five minutes of your time, please, then I’ll leave you won’t hear from me again.”

Austin lets out a long patient sigh with a shake of his head, something between aggravation mixed with a touch of being impressed—you’re persistent, at least. He’s going to hear you out and suddenly all the words mix in a blender and sink to the bottom of your ribs; you’re almost unsure of how to put this but all you can do is try.

“You’ve been right since we first met; I didn’t know how to want things for myself even though I expected so much out of other people.”

You chew on your lower lip a moment, eyes tracing over the handsome lines of his face—now was not the time to get distracted.

“This whole thing caught me off guard, I wasn’t prepared to want you…and not just as my stand-in date, but you.”

He doesn’t hold your gaze and maybe that’s okay, he busies himself with getting other people orders, keeping the line moving but you can tell he’s still listening to you. He’s still intent on hearing you through…even though you’re almost certain it’s not going to make a difference.

You can tell by his expression, by those walls remaining firm; they’re not budging for you.

Not again.

“The money thing was a mistake. You were right, I did open up my app and think about it because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what this thing was or if I was…imaging how I felt. So I fucked up but…so did you for not sticking around and talking to me.”

Austin’s shoulders straighten; he doesn’t appreciate you calling him out. A rod appears up his spine, his posture almost towering despite the glass case between them.

“I just…that’s it,” You swallow, your thumb running over the scone in your one hand and picking up your finished latte with another. “That’s all I wanted to say. Sorry for disrupting your work.”

You turn quickly, can’t take the look in his eyes anymore, the bustle of other people around you. You’ve said what you needed to—you should feel more complete than before, right? Because at least he knows your side of things.

It’s his turn.

You push the door open, the welcome bell dinging after you as you leave.

He doesn’t come after you.

You try to shake your head as Jill orders another shot, but can’t quite stop her because the woman has a mind of her own when it comes to having a good time.

“No,” You crinkle your nose.

Jill laughs, “Oh come on—one more. You’re not calling it early already, are you? We can get fries after this.”

You sigh, a bit dramatically, but how can you turn down fries? “Fine.” You shake your head, running a hand over your face as you sit at the counter of your frequent bar, “I’ll be back though.”

You slide off the barstool, motioning she should save your seat as you put your purse on it. She grins, cups your cheeks with her hands and plants a kiss on your forehead. You shoo her off, moving through the crowd to the restroom. Once you’ve used the bathroom and spend a little time with a cold and wet paper towel to the back of your neck, you come back out and nearly run someone over—

And blink because—

“Austin.”

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen him but fuck, he looks just as amazing as he did when you tried to explain yourself in the café. Wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, boots and a white button down, he’s got a leather jacket on as well, just a bit more scruff to his face.

“I was wonderin’ if you were gonna be here.” But it’s…contemplative, thoughtful, like he might have actually planned on trying to find you in the bar where you met.

You feel like the world might be spinning off its axis. “Here I am.”

He smiles a little, glancing over his shoulder and fuck, you wonder if he’s here with someone and—you’re pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t cause some adverse reaction. No punch in your gut that you completely screwed everything up. Time, it seems, does heal some wounds.

Maybe not heal, scar at the very least.

“I saw you post somethin’ on your instastory and I was…well I was hopin’…” He kinda trails off and two thoughts slam into your body like a freight train. One, he sounds…nervous? Which you feel like is very unlike him, given what you’ve been through together. And second? It actually sounds like he knew you were here and he meant to find you on purpose.

“Can we talk?” He asks, “Maybe outside?”

“Yes,” And god, you hope you don’t say that too fast. “Fresh air sounds good.”

As you begin to walk outside with him, you text Jill letting her know where you’re going (and with who). She sends you exactly three text messages in response that you don’t dare look at.

You take in a deep breath in once you get outside, the cool air settling over you like a bucket of cold water. You almost wish you grabbed your jacket from the bar but…dragging Austin over there towards Jill would have been such a bad idea.

It’s fine—the air is refreshing, a bit sobering and this conversation probably won’t last long either way. Taking in a breath, you turn to look at him, a soft smile on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself.

“So…”

Austin clears his throat, “You uh—?” He motions to his jacket and you’re not quite strong enough to deny his offer, so you gently nod your head. Austin slips off his leather jacket and hands it to you and you put it on.

A soft noise of approval leaves your lips as your arms go through the sleeves, a little bit long, feeling perfect though when you zip it up. The lingering scent of his cologne and skin is enough to almost knock you on your knees.

“Thank you.” You whisper, curling your hair around your ear.

You know that Austin is gathering his thoughts, but waiting almost somehow feels worse. You’re just…not sure what to do with yourself other than stare at him, hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“I shouldn’t have left you like that,” He finally says, “At your place?” It’s like the tension start to unwind from your shoulder at that, you almost have to physically swallow over your words so you can let him speak. “Just…felt like what we did, it was real—and—”

“It was real,” You assure him, can’t allow him to think otherwise, “I know this is going to sound cliché but…opening that cash app had everything to do with me, not you. I wasn’t second-guessing what happened.”

Austin gently waves you off, “It’s not your fault, I—I’m so used to things bein’ a business transaction that I just jumped to conclusions.”

You give him a small smile and it feels good? to be on the same page after all this time but…it’s not like, “It’s okay,” You curl your hair around your ear, “I’m not sure where something like this could go. I wouldn’t ask you to quit a job that’s clearly lucrative.”

Austin nods softly, “Well you don’t have to, because I already have.”

You’re not sure why what he says doesn’t register right away, you’re kinda just staring at him, wrapped up in his leather jacket, people passing you both on the sidewalk as you stand outside this bar.

Then you blink, “What?”

He smirks, running a hand through his hair as he nods, “Yeah, I uh—just didn’t want to do it anymore.”

You feel like your brain might be short circuiting, “But about acting? What about L.A.?”

A soft laugh rumbles in his throat, “I can still do L.A. Bein’ an actor isn’t goin’ anywhere.”

And you know that he still has a café job, that he can find other jobs to satisfy what he wants in terms of collecting money but…somehow you’re worried he’s traded one thing in for another. Even though Austin doesn’t look like he has any regrets as he takes a step towards you. His hands gently rest on your arms, sliding down, like he’s waiting for you to push him away.

When you don’t—

“You're not the only one goin' after what they want.”

You can’t stop a small laugh from slipping from your lips and before you can talk yourself out of it, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around you automatically, drawing you closer, his one hand cupping the back of your neck.

It feels like you’re kissing for a long time, or maybe it’s just felt too long since you’ve kissed. Either way, pulling away makes you feel a bit breathless and Austin smiles, pressing your foreheads together for a moment.

It feels like starting over, or maybe even better, a new chapter.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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soxcietyy · 5 months

Text

Suspicions

Yuta x reader

Pt2

˚₊‧꒰𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒱ ‧₊˚ : Your husband has always kept a low profile of himself. Not saying much about anything, especially his profession.

The day that you met him was the day when you thought you met the one. He was kind, sweet and very caring towards you. He was the type of man that any female would swoon over. That was you until you stumbled upon something interesting. You remember that one day you snuck into his office, you were looking for a letter from your mom that she said she sent you days ago. Not being able to find it in the mail box or in the house you decided to look in his office. His desk was a hugemess full of papers and books. While searching your eyes landed upon a tan folder. You slowly open it up to make sure your husband didn’t accidentally slip it in there. This was the worst mistake you could if done, or could it have been a wake up call.

Inside you could see a list of names with pictures next to them. They seemed to be pictures of people out in public going by there daily life’s. Some names were crossed out but you couldn’t figure out why. You found it odd that he had such papers until you flipped the page to see a picture of a tree with coordinates written next to them. You raise your brow and flip back to the first page.

You suddenly identify a face from the missing people adds that came up on television. Slowly turning the page you realize something. All the pieces came together slowly making you drop the papers. You stood there frozen in disbelief. This had to be a stupid misunderstanding of yours. But if that was the case why did your husband never talk to you about work? About how all his income was made? Why was this missing persons name next to the picture of the place where the news reported his body. Before you could think more into it you hear a familiar voice.

"Darling im home, and I come bearing gifts." He said loudly.

Your breath hitches as you quickly put everything back and run to the door. But before you could open it you see him swinging the door open.

"May I ask what you’re doing in my office?" He says looking down at you. You didn’t know if you should have been shocked on how fast he got here or how he found you.

You scan his face trying to identify if he was mad or not. You already knew he had forbidden you from entering his work place. Obviously he was going to be furious seeing you couldn’t obey simple commands.

"I was about to look for a letter that my mom should have sent me. Usually you get the mail and take it to your office. So I thought it would be here." You say maintaining eye contact with him.

He slowly leans down inspecting you before his hand reaches for your chin. "Next time ask me darling," he says as he plants a kiss on you.

Days after you couldn’t help but think of you were crazy for thinking your husband was a murderer. It was hard to tell seeing how Normal he acted. How loving he was towards you and the way he showered you with affection. No psycho would do something like that.

Though tonight might of sealed the deal for you. You sat next to your husband in the dining table. Both of you ate dinner like always but you suddenly lost your appetite. Yuta had came home late and requested to eat dinner the second he arrived. Clearly he was in a rush due to his messy clothes and the red blood stains on his cheek. Obviously he hadn’t had time to look at himself yet.

If that wasn’t enough he also arrived with a gun peaking out of his coat, a swollen arm and dirt on his white dress shirt.

"Is something wrong? You’re hardly touching your food." He asks concerned.

You shake your head afore taking a bite of your food. Finding it imposible for swallowing because of the lump in your throat. You see how Yuta tries to read you but fails. He wasn’t an idiot so he knew something was wrong he just didn’t know what.

If he found out that you discovered his secret what would happen? Would he make you be quiet? Or would you end up like the people on the list?

"You seem quite distracted recently. Is it because you spend a lot of time at home alone? If so I think I have quite an easy fix for that." He says as he stands up and approaches you. It takes him two long strides until he’s behind your chair. Wrapping his arm around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

"Maybe it’s time I give you a little one so you can keep yourself occupied no?" He whispers into your ear.

Only an idiot would agree to that in this situation. Having a kid with a murdere? Actually wanting to make a family with someone that could kill you? Having to pretend nothing is wrong for the rest of your life? and that you were an idiot. You turn around to look at him and nod at him quickly. Maybe he was right, thats what you needed right now. He hasn’t harmed you and he probably never would. He was madly in love with you and treated you like a queen. He bought you anything you wished and whatever you said goes. It was something you didn’t want to lose.

You plant a kiss on his lips and then licked your thumb to wipe the blood off his cheek.

He looked at you socked for a second before you said,

"You had food on your face sweetie. Now about that kid-"

#yuta okkotsu #jjk second years #jjk movie #yuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x you #jjk x y/n #jjk 0 movie #jujutsu kaisen #yuta okkotsu x y/n #yuta okkotsu smut #yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta #jjk yuuta

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phoward89 · 19 days

Text

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4:

In the time that Coryo's been taking care of you, which has been nearly 2 weeks now, you've discovered that he's an enigma. You just can't figure him out. On one hand he can be a right condescending bastard, but on the other hand he can also be very caring and attentive.

Some of his remarks cut deep. They even make you feel frustrated or useless sometimes. You hate feeling like that; you hate that his smug attitude has that effect on you.

But then he has his gentle moments, moments that make you feel cared for. The way he gently runs his calloused fingers down your back when checking its healing progress sends sparks up and down your spine. How he has you lay on top of his chest every night, to keep pressure off of the lashes on your back, while wrapping his arms around you has you swooning. His kisses can be soft and sweet or hungry and feral full of neediness and want, but every kiss you share makes you feel desired.

Yes, he's quite the enigma indeed.

“You think you're healed enough to go to the market with me?” Coryo asks, walking thru the door.

He went back to his peacekeeper duties a few days ago, but that hasn't stopped him from living with you. In fact, he sets an alarm to go off about an hour before wakeup call in order to sneak back into the barracks before dawn. Coryo always presses a kiss to your hair and tells you to go back to sleep before he goes.

You always groan and bury your nose in his pillow.

“Yes, I can go, but why didn't you just do it before coming here?” You reply, finding it a bit odd that he just didn't buy some groceries before returning home- like he usually did.

“Sejanus says that you need to get out and about; that fresh air and walks will be good for your healing.”

“Oh.”

“How bout you take a shower and I'll help you get dressed when you're done, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod, rising from the table and heading to the bathroom.

At least Coryo's letting you shower by yourself now. For a while he was bathing you, afraid that you'd hurt your back if you were left to your own devices.

As Coriolanus rooted thru your clothes basket to find you something suitable to wear in the harsh winter weather, his encounter with Sejanus earlier played in his mind like an old movie rerun.

“How's your girl doing, Coryo?” Sejanus asked his friend as they patrolled the streets of the factory sector of the district.

“She's doing better. Her back’s healing, but she still can't put any pressure on it.” Coriolanus explained your condition to his friend. “I've started cutting down her doses of morphling; been giving it to her during the night and leaving her a bottle of aspirin for the day.”

“Has she been out and about yet?”

“No, Sejanus. She hasn't left our apartment.” He told the dark-haired peacekeeper, who in return shook his head at Coriolanus. “What?” Shot out of Coriolanus' mouth faster than a shooting star. “She's been hurt; she lost her coat during the whipping incident, plus I had to start patrol work again. Why would she be out and about?”

“You can't keep her locked up in her apartment, Coryo. She needs fresh air and some exercise to help her healing.” Sejanus explained, hoping that the platinum blonde would see reason.

But, of course, he didn't see reason.

“She knows how to open the window, if she wants fresh air that bad. And she's been walking around the apartment, it's not like I'm a monster that's got her tied up to the bedpost or something.”

“Did you forget that I've been inside of her apartment? She doesn't have a bedpost, her mattress is on the floor with a tiny wooden table next to it.”

“Stop calling it her apartment, I live there too.” Barked out Coriolanus. Pointing at Sejanus, he added in, “And don't worry about our bed. That's my bed with my darling rose, you hear me?”

“Yea, I hear you.” Sejanus heavily sighed. “Look, if she needs a coat and ya’ll are struggling to buy one I can always have Ma send Y/N one in the mail.” The kind hearted peacekeeper offered, hoping that a new coat would help with you being able to leave your apartment. An apartment that Coriolanus insisted was his now too. “As a Christmas present.” Sejanus quickly added in, reminding Coryo that the winter holiday was in a week.

“Yea, Ma can send my girl a coat for Yule.” Coriolanus nodded.

Sejanus smiled, happy that his friend was letting him do something nice for you. If only he could convince Coryo to let you off of your house arrest…

“Coryo, Y/N needs to spend some time with you outside of your apartment. Even just a few minutes will be good for her healing.”

“The last time she went out she got whipped so badly that I had to stitch up half of her back. So, excuse me, Sej, for just wanting to keep her safe; away from people gawking at her because of what happened.”

“She can't stay locked up in that apartment, spending her days in nightgowns waiting for you to come home every night all because you're scared of her getting hurt again; of not being able to protect her- again.” Sejanus told his best friend, trying to get it into the platinum blonde’s thick skull that you needed to see more than the inside of the same 4 walls day after day. “What happened shouldn't have, but it did, Coryo. It did and you've been caring for her better than a nurse could; now it's time to aid in her healing by letting her walk around town for a bit.”

Coriolanus bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head. Sejanus has a point, but he doesn't want to admit it. The district born boy's right, what happened to you shouldn't have happened, but it did because Coryo turned you in. Turned you in without the apple as evidence.

He truly didn't know how harsh your punishment was going to be. He thought a quick flogging, maybe no more then 2 or 3 lashes. But he didn't know that you'd be stripped naked in the snow and whipped repeatedly until you fell down from the pain. God, you had about a dozen lashes on your back and half of them were so deep that you'll have scars. Honestly, Coriolanus felt guilty when he watched you get whipped; felt remorseful and regretted his actions.

But he'd never let himself admit it. No, he keeps rationalizing his actions as the right thing. That you stole, that I'd you didn't steal then he wouldn't have turned you in. That he needed to look good in his superiors eyes, that turning you in got him one step closer to the Capitol.

To home.

But now his plans have slightly altered. Now he has you and he's bringing you home with him.

“Coryo, if you really want to protect her, then maybe you should sign up to take that elite officer's exam. Nobody messes with an officer's girl.” Sejanus told the tall blonde, pulling him out of his mental musings.

“Elite Officer's exam?” Coriolanus parroted, sounding stunned.

“Yea.” Sejanus nodded. “I thought you knew about it.” Apparently nobody told Coriolanus about the exam, but considering he's been trading work days with people to be able to spend so much time tending to you, it's not hard to figure out why nobody told him.

“There's a test in a week or so for an Elite Officer's commission. It's for Naval and Air Force tho, so you'll be shipped out of 8.”

“Thank you for telling me. I'll have to sign up before going home.” Coriolanus gratefully told Sejanus.

Yes, since he's in a good mood he'll take you to the market once he gets off work. You should have a sweater to wear; if not then you can borrow his. God knows he's moved his shit into your place; has the bag nestled right next to your wicker basket at the foot of your bed.

And while on your walk to the market he'll tell you the great news about the Elite Officer's exam he's signing up for.

Once you were finished with your shower, you stepped out of the bathroom and into the main room of your apartment wrapped in a towel. You saw that Coryo had laid out your blue floral dress and orange-russet sweater. He was sitting on the edge of your bed, clutching some kind of orange material in his hand.

Hearing your feet pitter patter across the one-room apartment, he looked up at you and asked, “Do you need any help getting dressed, baby?”

Coryo still asks you that, every time you bathe and need to change, even tho you're able to dress yourself now. You guess he just likes to feel needed; offers to help cause of it.

“No, I'm fine, Coryo.” You told him, coming to a stop at the bed. “But thank you for your offer.” You added in, picking up the cotton panties he laid out for you.

Coryo waggled his brows and lowly whistled, “Can't wait til your back’s fully healed so I can fuck you, baby.”, as you took off your towel and pulled on your panties.

Yea…

You knew he'd want to do that as soon as you got better.

There's just one catch tho.

“I've never been with anyone before, Coryo. You’ll prolly be disappointed with my lack of experience.” You told him, grabbing your dress and pulling it on.

Before you could reach for your sweater, Coryo took your hand in his and tugged you until you fell onto his lap. “Darling, don't say that.” He cooed. “I’m proud to be the only man to ever touch you; your innocence will never disappoint me.” He assured you with a soft smile. “Don't worry, I'll teach you everything you need to know.”

To Coriolanus, you being innocent when it came to sex fueled his ego. Made him feel powerful. Yes, he enjoyed having power over you. Sex was another way to wield that power. Plus thought of being the only man to have you makes him feral with primal, possessive instincts.

You're his, all his!

Pecking you on the lips, he says, “Put your sweater on, little dove. I have something to give you that'll go perfect with it.”

You wondered what he had to give you. Silently, you nod and reach over to grab your sweater. You put it on while still sitting on Coryo's lap.

“This was my mother's; I'd like you to have it, Y/N.” Coryo told you, smiling brightly while handing you the orange bunch of silky material.

“Oh Coryo…” You gasped, taking the offered token from him. Inspecting the bright orange material, you quickly figured out that it was a large scarf or a shawl. “It's so pretty.” You mused, still in disbelief about receiving a gift of such fine quality. “Are you sure you want me to have it?. It belonged to your mom.” You ask, feeling a bit guilty about accepting the scarf. It belonged to his mom and from the look in his eyes, well, you know that she's gone.

“My mom would've loved you, baby. Please, accept my gift as a token of my affection, darling.” Coriolanus said, taking the scarf from your hands and wrapping it around your neck.

“Okay.” You relented.

Guiding you off of his lap and onto the bed, he told you, “Put on your knee highs; I'll get your boots.”

He picked your stockings up from the bed and handed them to you before going over to where your boots were at. As you pulled on your stockings, he brought you over the boots. Taking them from him, you slid them on.

Once you’re ready, Coryo gives you a closed lip smile and leads you out the door. He’s happy to be going to the market with you. You on the other hand…Well…You're nervous about people seeing you with a peacekeeper.

You and Coryo are walking along the urban streets of District 8, the cold winds chilling the both of you right down to the bone. You’re glued to his side with his arm wrapped protectively around your back. His large hand resting gently on it.

If he wasn't a peacekeeper from the Capitol, people might think that you make a cute couple. But, since he's a peacekeeper and you're a transfer, well…the residents of 8 turn their noses up at you in disgust. Coryo didn't seem to notice tho.

No, he was too caught up in his own upturn of luck to care what the locals thought of him with you. Their opinions didn't matter. They're just dirty dogs, scumbags, and rat bastards in his opinion. And soon Coriolanus will be an Elite Officer in either the Naval or the Air Force division of the Peacekeepers; he'll be getting the two of you out of the shithole you're stuck in and around civilized people.

“Y/N, I got some good news for you.” Coryo announces with excitement in his baritone, grinning from ear to ear; looking a bit like a homicidal maniac from Dateline.

“What is it?” You curiously ask. You two live in a wintery wasteland that's a smog and sweatshop hell. You're also a very unconventional couple, so you can't imagine what his good news is. Seriously, does anything good actually happen in 8?

“I signed up to take an Elite Officer's exam; when I pass we'll be able to leave 8; go to a nicer district or even the Capitol.” Coryo announced, his icy blue eyes gleaming, as his tone was filled with pride.

Hearing that the platinum blonde peacekeeper could possibly get you out of District 8 by becoming an Elite Officer gave you hope that maybe your luck wasn't shitty after all. You'd love to be able to go to a nicer district, like 1 or 2. And the possibility of going to the Capitol.

You…

Wow, it sounded wonderful. Perhaps too good to be true. But one things for certain, you wondered, “What's the difference between an Elite Officer and an Officer, Coryo?”

“An Elite Officer serves in one of the specialty forces- Naval or Air Force, while an Officer serves boots on the ground.” Coriolanus explained as the entrance to the marketplace came into view.

Looking up at him, you ask, “So you really think you can pass your exam; get us out of here?’

“My darling, I know that I'll pass and get us out.” Coryo confidently told you as the two of you walked into the marketplace. “Don't worry, I'll take care of you.” He pressed a kiss to your head.

As Coryo led you over to a produce cart, you could feel stares burning a hole into your back. You know that they're judging you because you're with a peacekeeper. Especially after what happened a couple of weeks back.

You're most likely a pariah now because you're with Coryo. But it’s not like you got into a relationship with him because you wanted to. You had to, because of your back injury. But that doesn't matter because to the citizens of District 8 you’re Peacekeeper's kept woman.

At least you won't be here much longer, since Coryo's slated to take his exam next week and he's positive that he'll pass. That he'll become an Elite Officer and be able to get the both of you out of the textile district of Panem.

Tags: @kuroosbby001 @purriteen @poppyflower-22 @meetmeatyourworst @whipwhoops @bxtchopolis @readingthingsonhere @savagenctzen @ryswritingrecord @erikasurfer @tulips2715 @universal-s1ut @thesmutconnoisseur @squidscottjeans @sudek4l @wearemadeofstardust0 @mashiromochi @gracieroxzy @belcalis9503 @shari-berri @aoi-targaryen @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons @qoopeeya @mfnqueen1 @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @v-love @swiftieblyth @joyfulyouthlover @harvey-malfoy @tian-monique @chxrrybomb22 @marvel-hiddles-stark @xjinnix @devils-blackrose @zombicupcake3

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wroteclassicaly · 11 months

Text

Walk Until You Belong

(Eddie Munson x Female Reader, Steve Harrington x Female Reader)

Summary: Amongst confusing and mixed up words, you think you realize where you really stand, with those who matter the most to you, particularly Eddie Munson.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Female Reader, teases Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, anxiety, panic attack, extreme self-esteem issues, HEAVY on the angst, no happy ending (this one hurts, folks), Eddie is mean with his words, depression, & extremely (be warned) sad thoughts.

A/N: This thought randomly came to me in the car today, then proceeded to poke and prod at me until I wrote it down/out. This is what came of it, and it’s a product of mind mindset, as of lately. Please read the warnings and air with caution, because it’s meant to work out my own feelings, and as of now, there’s no second part planned and there isn’t a happy ending here. I leave it open-ended. Just know, this piece is really vulnerable to me, and I’m not gonna and say I didn’t cry a little while writing this, so I feel like it’s a personal breakthrough, and I wanna share it with you all ❤️♥️

Sidenote: Using the nickname of Princess in this fic, instead of Y/N. Also, Eddie isn’t nice in this. He’s not exactly awfully, openly mean, but his words are pretty cruel. So… be warned! Nancy makes an appearance as well!

You didn’t really peg Eddie Munson for a mean person. Intimidating, sure, tough because he needed to be - yeah. But outright cold and as nasty as his former bullies? You stand frozen, back against the cool wall of the hospital corridor. They’re still talking, bonding, two completely different people that never knew one another three months ago, yet they’re making it work. You’ve known the entirety of the party since this whole underworld shit began, roped in by being Dustin’s neighbor and giving him rides home from Hellfire for his mom.

No one ever called you outside of the world ending, outside of you taking a kid some place, bringing your random gifts, lending an ear on the phone when the trauma got too much. You weren’t invited to their gatherings, you weren’t in on their inside jokes, but you figured if you made yourself more approachable, more social. And seeing how they welcomed Eddie, someone you had admired since your freshman year - you were sure it was gonna work, that you were slowly being accepted. You helped defeat monsters and evil men, dark creatures, and underworlds. It was you who helped Steve Harrington drag Eddie’s bleeding and mauled body back into your world.

Since that night three months ago, you have done everything to help him. Brought his school work so he could graduate, promised to hand deliver his diploma if he wasn’t strong enough by mid June to walk across that stage, even saying you’d flip Higgins the double bird for him. You tried to help him plan campaigns, you bought him several tapes, and most recently - you’d taken up a magazine subscription of his favorite metal scene, just so he would have all copies. He was always so boisterous, making you melt and smile, and you wanted to help put some light back into his eyes after he’d lost a lot of that sparkle. The issue you got in the mail today, it looked promising, making you eager to take it to him on your lunch break from the video store.

Recently able to fight off your anxieties and getting into the workplace to cover shifts for Steve as he healed, you had extra money to spare and a pep in your step. But when you had reached Eddie’s room door in the hospital, Steve’s voice had halted you. You’d pressed your back aside and out of view, a smile on your lips as they mentioned you. They were gonna be your friends, maybe Eddie would even show you what certain things meant in the magazine, what he liked about their scene, his scene. You wanted to know so much about him, but could never muster the courage to ask.

“I thought the Princess was coming by today?” Your nickname. Not one in malice, but one gifted by your peers for your love of literature. It extended to everyone, apparently.

Your heart leapt, pulse in your throat, eyes casting down at the glossy cover in excitement. And then Eddie had sighed deeply, as if he was in pain. You were prepared to go and get a nurse, when he speaks out, “Seriously, dude?”

Your brows had knit in confusion, a gnawing starting in your stomach, a coolness chilling in your muscles, scraping apart your veins and brimming them full of ice. Steve confirmed, causing you to step back further out of sight. You should’ve left immediately, because you knew you were not going to be able to handle what Eddie’s reply would be, what you fooled yourself into thinking wouldn’t happen.

“What if I pretend to be asleep? Think she’ll leave and go bother someone else?”

A sharp ache pries apart your ribcage and fills it with hot ash, wafting smoke from the destruction suffocating your throat. The first wave of tears prickles your sclera, clouding your vision as your head bows.

“Munson…” Steve sighs.

“Listen, Harrington, I know I’m a freak, man, but she’s just weird. She doesn’t even know me and she subscribed to a magazine I have, just to bring me the issues. She tries to get involved in my campaigns. I know she drives Henderson around and that she’s fought all that nasty shit with you guys, but like… She’s not even in your ensemble of friends, is she?”

Your entire lifetime of actions involving them all flash in the forefront of your mind, and everything you went through by their sides.Have you done anything so out of the ordinary that none of them haven’t? You’re not loud, not like Eddie is, you’re not extremely quirky. You were sure you weren’t bothering anyone when you started being more vocal. Salt. You taste its first humiliating tang hit your lips, your tears free flowing.

“Not really.” Is what Steve responds with, prying back your subconscious with a crowbar and letting reality crack your skull open to let your insecurities flood you until you begin to feel the beginning stages of dissociating panic.

More than two years and you’re still considered a nobody to people you fought beside and nearly died for. People you convinced yourself that they just needed to know you, to see, and they would care about you just as much as you care about them. You realize, however, with a sickening irony, that Vecna must have been fooled by your sated mindset, thinking you weren’t alone and that you were happy, or he would’ve targeted you instead of someone else. And that part, the deep part that’s engraved into your DNA, rooted to every cell and particle, it bites back thoughts you try not to pin on yourself. Maybe he should’ve.

“Hey, Princess, what’s going on?” Her sweet perfume and her soft demeanor make your body feel like it’s weighted down, caught and unable to escape. You don’t look at her yet, turning your head to attempt (pathetically) to wipe your tears and clear your vision.

Steve and Eddie hear and the conversation is halted, their smiles happy and comfortable. But even as you bypass Nancy’s concerned looks, her question at your obviously panicked expression, forcing yourself to walk into the room with her to save face — you aren’t buying either boy’s look. It’s not you they’re happy to see. You shift, a discomfort squeezing your sternum and extending into your guts, anxiety using your esophagus as a trampoline and tempting your food to expel. You feel as if you’re not even here, that this isn’t real, that it’s a nightmare bigger than anything you’ve ever faced.

Dealing with demons and evil creatures that only existed in storybooks is one thing, but doing it alone, knowing that that’s all you’ve ever truly been… it’s worse than when you automatically followed Nancy into that rift to save Steve. No one called you after Vecna, sans one simple call from Steve to ask if you needed anything. But that was it. Your brain snaps back, still able to get you as you’re not all here. King Steve hated you, and not even this kind version cares for you.

You’ve kept the magazine at your side so far, and you let it fold in your tight grip, crushing and crumbling the pages, voice becoming weak and breathless as Steve asks why you’re here, a grin on his face, knowing already. Fuck this. You’re drowning and you need to get the fuck out of here.

“I have to go. I’m… I gotta go, I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks, shatters your facade, and you don’t look at anyone.

Nancy leans out as you move quicker down the hallway, faster than anticipated. She watches your arm elongate and toss something into one of the janitorial cart’s trash cans.

“What the hell was that about?” Steve is confused, Eddie bewildered.

“I was gonna ask you guys. She looked upset before we even came in here,” Nancy responds.

“Didn’t you two walk in together? Maybe somebody bothered her, or she saw something?” Steve questions once more.

“We all agreed to give her space, just like we always do. So no, I didn’t want to crowd her. She was already here anyway, just standing outside the door and looking… I don’t know, lost? I’ve never seen the expression that was on her face before.”

Eddie feels as if something else entirely has re-stripped his recently healed skin. Steve swallows harshly and fixes Eddie with an immediate glare, both sharing realization and regret.

“She just trashed some magazine, maybe it was because of that —“

“Shit. Fuck, man.” Eddie finally speaks, starting to lift his upper body, his underused limbs protesting, stitched skin screaming.

“Stop, I’ll go, okay?” Steve interjects, resting bitch face activated and his jaw clenching, upset he let himself say what he did, and is already out the door, leaving Eddie to explain to the ever inquisitive Nancy Wheeler and her journalistic heart and soul.

By the time Steve catches up to you, jogging and slightly out of breath, he isn’t prepared to share his ex’s sentiment on your tormented expression. You look… demolished, haunted. Steve has felt it, a fragment of what bullshit you must be feeling, given what you’ve just heard. He’s done a lot of things, but he’s never felt more like an asshole than he does now, staring at your trembling hands that drop your car keys twice, your eyes so full of tears he wonders how you were even able to see to get out of the building and into the parking lot. He has the sudden overwhelming urge to wrap you into his arms and hold you. So he lets his instincts go and attempts to reach out.

You sound strangely reserved, settled. You smile sadly, wiping at your eyes, the skin raw and overheated. “No. I understand, okay. I got it. I really do. I’m fine.”

“Princess, you don’t have to —“

A beeping sounds off between the two of you, your fingers reaching into your belt loop and unclipping the beeper after a quick glance. You still don’t look at Steve. He can feel his own irises becoming shrouded with tears, his chest being clawed apart and dug into. It hurt more than any hive mind bats or Russian torture. You sidestep away from him, mumbling. “It’s Keith. I have to go.”

“It’s my shift, Princess,” Steve grasps your wrist in his big palm and squeezes, trying to pull you back to him, to convey, to express. He cares. He didn’t mean it in the way that you thought, “Please?”

You jerk yourself away from him. You look angry now, and wipe your nose at the same time Steve does - water finding his lash line.

“I took the shift. It’s fine. Goodnight.”

You’re falling apart as you turn around again, not permitting yourself to watch Steve and his attempts to amuse your anguish with pity - standing in the parking lot, wiping at his nose continuously, in your rear view.

Steve grits his teeth as the tears drip onto his cheeks, his hands running up into and through his hair. They beyond fucked up…

// Eat me paragraph //

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lainiespicewrites · 3 months

Text

Electric summer Ch. 2

Here is chapter 2! I love everything about this story so far it’s so fun to write and I adore writing Sy! It was so weird I was modeling this after my time at camp and I literally got a brochure from them in the mail today😂 maybe the universe is telling me something 👀

Anyway enjoy! Comments, likes and weblogs are encouraged!

Summary: Sy and ofc are united as camp co-counselors and spend the day catching up and reminiscing!

Warnings:none? Just cursing a lil

Link for Pt 1 if you missed it 🥰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I blinked a few times in disbelief. “How, I-I…aren’t you…” I stammered trying to string a sentence together, still lost in the puzzle my brain was trying to work out. How was he standing here in front of me right now?

“Come here,” He laughed. Throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a tight hug. I was still for a moment still in shock about the situation but I pulled myself out of it and hugged him back squeezing just as tight.

“I can’t believe it,” He chuckled. “This had to be Rebecca’s doing.” He said.She was an old counselor of ours. She was with us our last summer together.She also happened to be camp director now and in charge of assigning cabin groups. This was surely not a coincidence. Sy’s arms were still around me. Admittedly I wasn’t ready to pull away just yet either. I was afraid he’d disappear and this would all be a dream. My mind was playing tricks on me or something.

“How are you here?” I finally strung the question together, pulling back to look up at him. Did he get taller? I could have shrunk but I swear he got taller. “I mean aren’t you in the military?” I asked, obviously confused.

“Take a walk with me?” he asked. “I’ve been dying to see this place again.” He added. I nodded and we finally let go of each other. It may have been years since we’d seen each other but I could still read him. Logan was social. He loved to talk, he was extremely expressive and attentive. Right now he’s quiet. And pensive. When we walked away from the cabin he shoved both hands in his pockets staring straight ahead. Whatever had happened it was difficult for him. Like the night on the lake in the canoe. When he told me he wouldn’t be coming back to camp. It’s why he wouldn’t look at me. He knew or was afraid that after all this time I could tell when something was hard for him.

He hated coming off as weak. It’s why he was so competitive. When the boys played ultimate frisbee his team always won. In high school when he played football he was the quarterback. He had to be the best. The strongest. The leader. But not with me. He told me that once. He told me even before our summer fling, back when all we were was best friends excited to spend the summer together. That’s why he liked me so much. He could let his guard down with me. I didn’t understand it then. But eventually I figured out exactly what he meant. And I saw it in him now. Even when we’d only been reunited for minutes.

We walked from my cabin and through the park out to an open field outside the woods. There was a path that ran alongside it. If you took it left it would take you to the lake down to the dock to swim, if you followed it further you crossed a bridge and you could go sailing or take out a kayak or a canoe. If you took the path right it was a hiking trail. It had its own forks in the road one leading to a nature preserve and a small shelter where the camp housed some exotic reptiles and other animals. And one that led to a ropes course and a rock climbing station. We didn’t take either path. Sy stopped walking and stared off at the trees. I came up next to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me, we don’t have to talk about it, whatever it is. I’m just really glad you’re here.” I spoke softly. I felt his hand over mine on his shoulder and he turned to me with a sad smile. He let out a deep breath before he spoke

“I’m retired from the military. Uh, discharged. Medically.” He stared at the grass when he spoke. I could hear the shame in his voice. It broke my heart. I slid my hand off his shoulder and over his back soothingly. I didn’t say anything. He knew I was listening. “Last April, I was leading the boys into a raid. We’d been waiting on this for weeks. Trying to find these guys. Somehow they got tipped off that we were comin’ and they were ready. One of my boys was being attacked. Enemy came out of nowhere. I jumped to cover him. Told him to run up stairs with the rest of the guys to secure the building. He was alright. His chest plate protected him. But I got shot in the leg with 2 bullets. I managed to stop the attacker. But I had to be carried out of there. They sent a Med-line, it's a helicopter.” He explained. I nodded and let him keep talking.

“I was in surgery that night. They almost thought I was gonna have to lose it. But the Dr was able to get the bullets out. They uh, didn’t think I’d walk right again. So.. I was discharged from the military not long after. They transferred me to a civilian hospital for physical therapy…” He trailed off.

“How is it now?” I asked softly. He finally looked up from the grass. My voice pulled him back to reality.

“I ain’t gonna be runnin’ in the Olympics anytime soon but. Normal. Aches sometimes when the weather gets weird or cold. Probably coulda went back but no one knew how long it would take. Or if…if I’d ever get better.” He said.

“They should’ve known,” I said, “nothing stops Logan Syverson when he’s got his mind made up.” There it was. That genuine smile I’d missed all these years.

“Guess they don’t know me like you do,” He chuckled. “Enough about me, it’s been 7 years darlin what have I missed?” he asked, his hand hovering over my lower back guiding me toward the left path. We started to walk again toward the lake.

“I wish I could say you missed a lot but,” I shrugged. “I graduated. Went to school and graduated again, and at the end of this summer I’ll finally start my first job with the schools.” I explained flatly. It was nothing compared to the things he’d done and what he’d seen.

“Hey, graduating college is a big deal. I’m proud of you! Child Psychology, right?” He asked. I stopped walking and just stared.

“You, remember that?” I questioned. He laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his side.

“Of course I do. It was all you talked about our last summer together. You were nervous about getting into the school you wanted. I admired that because you were only a junior. I was going into my senior year and I’d never even thought about that shit.”

“But you knew you were going into the military, you didn’t have to think about that.” I argued.

“Maybe, but you were so smart, you are so smart, you had it all figured out. I was just following what everyone else in my family did. Now that I’m out, I kinda wish I’d had some other plan. Something I knew I wanted to do to fall back on.” I nodded. I understood what he meant. It must be hard for him now. The things he’d aspired to be in his adolescence had come and passed. He had to reinvent himself now. Start over. I couldn’t imagine how scary that must feel.

“You’re smart too Logan. You’re quick in a crisis. You’re logical and level headed. You’re great with people. And and from what you’ve said you’re an incredible leader. I have no doubt you’ll figure it all out soon.” We had wandered some more, now we were walking along the lake. Or what we knew as the beach. When they’d built the camp they carved out the shore and laid down sand. Leaving it more like mini beach than a country lake. I followed Logan out onto the dock. He turned to me and smiled.

“I think coming back here this summer was exactly what I needed.” He said. I smiled back giving his arm a gentle squeeze… and trying not to dwell on the fact that his muscles had gotten incredibly larger.

“It’s funny,” I answered. “I always remember it being the other way around, you giving me pep talks and encouraging me to take risks.” He chuckle the air between us becoming lighter as I watched his smile form into a playful smirk.

“That’s because you were always trying to chicken out. You were a little scaredy cat.” He laughed. I pouted. And smacked him in the arm. “Ow,” he teased as he fake soothed his arm.

“I was not!” I argued. He shook his head.

“You were too!” He challenged. I rolled my eyes resting my hands on my hips.

“Name one time,” I groaned. He eyed me with that same smirk on his face with an eyebrow raised looking at me curiously.

“You really wanna do this? He teased. “Alright, you did this to yourself, night hikes.” He stated. I frowned.

“Oh that is so not fair!” I objected. “You know I hate the dark. That doesn’t count!” I argued.

“Mhmm, rock climbing.” he deadpanned. I scoffed.

“I suck at climbing I have like no upper-body strength I wasn’t gonna embarrass myself infront of everyone.” I defended. He shook his head again trying to hold back a laugh.

“You’d never done it before. You had no idea if you were bad at it or not!”

“Okay, well… it was really high.” I pouted.

“My point exactly,” He chuckled.

“That means nothing!” I said. He groaned pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You wouldn’t even jump off the dock into the water that first summer! Because the water was deeper. You knew how to swim.” His shoulders were shaking with laughter. “You remember how I got you to do it?” He asked.

“Yeah you literally picked me up threw me in off the dock! I wound’t call that being “kind and encouraging.” I laughed emphasizing the last bit.

“It worked,” He smirked.

“It was traumatizing.” I countered.

“ I caught you blushing when I grabbed you, I think you liked it.” He winked. I glared at him crossing my arms.

“You have no proof,” I scoffed. He smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You wanna test that theory?” He raised an eyebrow taking a step closer to me. My eyes went wide and I started to back up slowly.

“Logan,” I said softly. He looked me over that cocky grin plastered on his face.

“I’d start runnin’ if I was you.” He challenged. I backed up a little more, holding my hands up in defends.

“You don’t have to do this.” I reasoned with him. He let out a low chuckle.

“I think we both know I do.” He said. “Last chance darlin’” He teased. I turned on my heal quickly back toward the beach. Only getting in a few long strides before he had his arm around my waist. Damn his long legs. It doesn’t help that mine are so short either. I squealed as he lifted me off the ground in his arms.

“No! Logan please!”

“I warned ya, told you to start running sooner.” His voice was deep in my ear as he carried me to the end of the dock and I wrapped my arms around his neck for some sort of safety net. “Would you look at that.” He smirked, looking down at me in his arms. Bastard. Of course he was right. After all this time he still had the same effect on me.

“Oh shut up!” I rolled my eyes. Which was a bold move for someone in my current position.

“You’re blushin’, after all this time, I still get your heart racing.” He rasped.

“My face is red because I was running, and it’s ..it’s warm out here.” I argued.

“You took 3 steps, you weren’t running,” He smirked. “You’re just too stubborn to admit you still feel it.” He whispered against my ear. I felt hot. And it had nothing to do with the sun glaring down on us on the pier. It had been 7 years. Did we even know each other anymore? And…he ..he left. That hurt so bad. What if he leaves again. I don’t think I could handle losing him a second time. We’re in totally different parts of our lives than we were then. But at the same time… “Answer one thing for me, all this time, did you see anybody else? Let anyone else in? I don’t see a ring on your finger.” He raised an eyebrow looking down at me intently. I swallowed hard and swatted at his chest.

“Put me down Sy!” I whined. He jostled me in his arms threatening to drop me in the water.

“You want down?” He smirked. I squealed, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck.

“Logan, Don’t!” I chided. He chuckled, adjusting his grip under my thighs. He leaned in close. I could feel his breath against my ear, his beard tickling my skin.

“Tell me, I just wanna hear it. Did you wait for me?” He sounded like honey. The way his voice hummed in my ear. He always did. It had been so long since we’d stood this close, or been this close and I could feel myself still magnetized to him. It’s like he lit up every sense in my body. I had no choice but to follow his warmth and his chaos and his light. I never felt anything like it with anyone else.

“ Sy you know, I …” Before I could answer him he leaned forward and tossed me into the water. I screamed and heard him chuckle before I hit the water. It was still a little cold since summer had only just started. As I started to come back up to the surface I heard a huge splash a few feet away from me. Logan jumped off the dock with me. When he surfaced he swam closer and I splashed him. “You’re such an ass!” I rolled my eyes. He laughed, swimming toward the shore.

“I had to distract you. You thought I wasn’t gonna do it,” He smirked.

“Yeah I thought maybe you were like a decent guy now or something!” I scoffed.

“Aww come on honey, don’t be mad at me, you know it’s not really summer till we take our first swim.”

“Yeah I know,” I smiled.

We left the lake, soaking wet and headed back to our cabins to dry off. I couldn’t get what he’d said out of my head. I knew it was killing him to know. Why did he stop me? After drying off and changing into some dry clothes I hung my wet clothes and towel out on our cabin's little clothing line. I dug through my bag to find a new pair of shoes, because those were soaked too, and headed over to Logan’s cabin where he was waiting at the picnic table. I walked over and hopped up sitting on the table top. Something I’d made a habit of during my years at camp. And it followed me everywhere. I sit on my countertop all the time. He looked up from where he’d been writing in a notebook on the table and smiled.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Now that my feet aren’t in squishy wet sneakers? Yeah much better, no thanks to you.” I laughed.

“Did you have fun?” He raised an eyebrow. I groaned.

“Yeah,” I muttered. He had a proud grin on his face.

“Well then you’re welcome.” He mused. I rolled my eyes and flickered my gaze down to his notebook.

“Whatcha working on?” I asked curiously. He leaned back looking down at the list one hand smoothing over his beard.

“Trying to remember all of the camp traditions. The games we played. Ice breakers things like that. Trying to set up a bit of a plan or a loose schedule before the kids get here tomorrow. I don’t know if the boys' cabins still do their prank war, but I’m bringing it back.” He said seriously.

“Ah yes, the infamous prank war, you were ruthless. But your cabin always came out victorious.” I giggled. His eyes met mine and he just smiled holding my gaze for a moment. I shook myself out of it before I could let him in too deep. “What else you got?” I prodded. He sighed. And his eyes went back to the paper in front of him, trying to hide the disappointment on his face.

“Uh, Just some of the group games we used to play, Red rover, capture the flag, the coed softball game. Shit like that.But I just wanna make sure we get everyone comfortable when they get here ya know? I always felt…”

“Safe? When we were here. Me too.” I nodded.

“Just wanna be sure everyone’s having a good time like we did. Whatever problems we were having back home, in our family, or friends, kids that were dealing with bullies, we left it behind. We didn’t tolerate anyone being left out. Just want that for our campers.” He said.

“You’re really passionate about this.” I added.

“Aren’t you, I mean, you loved this place as much as I did, … do.” He added. I nodded.

“Of course I am. I’m just really glad that you are too. I’m glad that my co-counselor is someone who loves and appreciates this place and the kids as much as I do!” I smiled. “I’ve got this book of icebreaker games. We can go through it after our counselor meeting. Find the ones we think are best fit.” I smiled. He nodded.

“Sounds great.”

Later that night after our meeting introducing and welcoming us all to camp and going over our rules and shifts, and after dinner we met in my cabin. We sat outside on the patio at the picnic table. We started flipping through the book and talking about each of the games. Some we had done when we were campers.

“Oh, here's a good one.” I said pointing to one of the pages. “Remember doing this one, ‘two truths and a lie’ we always had a lot of fun with that.

“I do! It was like being a cop trying to read a lie detector test. And trying to beat one. “He chuckled.

“You were good at it!” I laughed. “Like try me,” I nodded to him. He smiled, and cocked his head to the side thinking for a moment.

“Alright, I blew a tire going 90 down the highway last week. I shot my first gun when I was 10, or my brother broke my arm in a fist fight.”

“Jesus!” I laughed. “From the stories you told me about your brothers I wouldn’t doubt it. I know you like to drive fast but you take good care of your truck…I’m gonna say it’s the gun.” He shook his head.

“Nope, I broke his arm.” My eyes went wide and I tried to hold back my laughter.

“Your poor mother.” I giggled.

“She got used to it.” He smiled. “Your turn, see if you can fool me.” He said. I groaned. I never could trick him. He always knew. But maybe I could use this as an opportunity to answer his question back at the lake.

“Okay,” I nodded, “Uh, I have a short story published in a book. I..I’m still a virgin. I lost my phone on a cruise to Jamaica,” He looked at me quizzically, his bottom. Lip pulled between his teeth as his gears turned.

“There’s no way,” he finally spoke. “You’re not still a virgin. No way.” He added. I shook my head. My eyes met his.

“I’ve never been to Jamaica,” I said softly. He let out a shaky laugh.

“In seven years nobody.. Nobody’s tried?” He questioned.

“They’ve tried.” I said. “I tried.” I added. “I wanted to be over you. I tried to be mad at you, for leaving me. But I knew that was selfish. You didn’t leave me. Certainly not because you wanted to. You were fighting for me. For everyone you loved. I couldn’t be mad at you for that.” I admitted.

“I never intended to hurt you so bad. It hurt like hell leaving that summer.” He said.

“I know you didn’t,” I said. “When I went to college I tried so hard to put myself out there and meet other people, I went to a few parties. I made out on trashy frat couches. It was awful. I did go on a couple of dates. I convinced myself I had to. I was sure you’d moved on, found someone new. I liked them okay but it was nothing special. They weren’t… you.” I said. He nodded soaking in all the information I’d just given him.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. To know that you were still thinking of me as much as I was thinking of you. I have to be honest with you. I slept around in high school. When we broke things off that summer I was just trying to shake it. I hate to say it but, I barely remember their names. But you’re wrong about one thing. I never found anyone, never had one serious relationship after that last summer. You said it darlin, they weren’t you.” He rested his hand on my knee softly caressing my skin with his thumb. I never thought. I’d be here again. At camp. With him. In this position all over again. I think somehow we were getting a second chance. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. But I’m willing to see what the universe has put right in front of me.

“Sy, all I wanted back then was to be with you. To kiss you. For you to be my first. I don’t know if I’m still the girl you knew then. If you still want this after all this time. I don’t know what I want, I’ve spent so much time trying to forget you and what this felt like I don’t know if I know how to do this anymore.” He saw the panic in my eyes. And his face softened. He reached up tucking my hair behind my ear his fingers resting on the back of my head, gently massaging with his fingertips.

“This is a lot, I know, it’s a lot for me too. What I want is the woman you are now. For us to learn how to be now. If it aint the same spark then maybe it’s not meant to be. But i’m not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth and let you go again. Not without saying we tried to give this a shot.” He said his eyes boring into mine My heart felt like it was overflowing with emotion. I nodded. It was all I could do. “There is one thing, we never got to do that summer that I can’t get out of my head.” He whispered.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I never got to kiss you,” He stated almost breathless like it was a secret we’d been keeping for years. And a weight had now lifted off his shoulders.

“We never did, did we?” I blushed. He shook his head a gentle smile on his lips.

“It’s all can think about since I saw you again. That, and how you’re somehow even more beautiful.”

“Logan,” I blushed playfully shoving him.

“It’s true.” He said. I smiled.

“Well, are you gonna make a move or am I gonna have to make it for you?” Logan chuckled grabbing my waist to pull me closer and cupping my cheek. He leaned in his hot breath against my lips and…

“Hey you two!” Becca called from across the lawn. We jumped apart quickly. I could hear Logan groan no matter how hard he tried to hide it. “I just wanted to check in with you!” she said as she approached the cabin, “You settling in okay? Nervous about the kiddos or anything?” she asked. I shook my head.

“I’m a little nervous, not like I did much babysittin or anything,” Sy admitted. “But I’ve had plenty of practice with my brothers little rascals.” He laughed.

“Great!” She said. “Don’t be nervous, I’m so glad to have you guys back here, you’re our only counselrs this year that are camp alumni, and I always love having people that know the place well.” she smiled.

“It’s good to be back Becca! I never thought I’d see this place again!” I added.

“You know you’re always welcome!” She smiled. “Well I’ll leave you guys too it then, I’m so happy to see you two hear together again,” She winked. “Good night you two.”

“Well, she’s got impeccable timing.” Sy groaned. I giggled and squeezed his shoulder softly.

“This summers just getting started Sy,” I smiled. “I uh, better get some sleep, I was gonna get up early to decorate my cabin for the girls.” I said quickly. He nodded trying to hide his disappointment.

“Okay darlin’, I’ll see ya breakfast?” He asked. I nodded and turning and opening the door to my cabin

“I’ll see you then, goodnight Sy.”

“Goodnight Lainie,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link for Ch3

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#henry cavill #captain syverson #fanfic writing #henry cavill smut #captain syverson x ofc #fanfiction #henry cavil x reader #captain syverson smut #captain syverson fluff #captain syverson imagine #captain sy x reader #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill imagine #august walker fanfiction #august walker #fanfiction writer #henry cavill characters

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for telling my brother his wife is using him?

This may be long but I want to make sure there is enough info for you to give an accurate judgment. TLDR at the end but I encourage reading the full post

I (25f) have an older brother, J (28m). I also have a younger brother (22m), L. J and I were always close when we were younger then grew apart as we got older, the boys always were close. The year J graduated high school we became close again.

J met his gf A (29-31f, I dont even know how old she is but she's older then J) during college. I remember the first time A came home with him, and she was very sweet but very nervous. We clicked and had a good conversation that lasted hours (we all were at our parents house and us girls had to share a room and the boys did too). Anytime there were holidays we stayed at our parents and did this (big holidays that colleges had off like Christmas and Thanksgiving)

We met up a couple of times and all was fine. It was hard as they lived far away from where we grew up (2-4 hours depending on traffic and routes). Then I moved to the country, about 20 minutes away from them. We met up more often, but only maybe about once every 3 months. No big deal, I was busy working. Then J and A got engaged and it felt like everything changed.

I would invite them to hang out or get dinner, but J and A would make excuses. J would be like "A can't come so we won't make it" even when I said "okay but what if only you came? You're my brother?" He would make excuses. The days they agreed to meet up, suddenly day of couldn't go. He was tired after work, she wasn't feeling good, the car wasn't working. Anything and everything you could think of. I did notice whenever L came to visit me and stay, J and A would always be available to meet up, even if it was last minute.

So I figured...it somehow must be me? And then they got married. And it was beautiful.

Or so im told as it was a private ceremony and I wasn't invited :) I actually was originally told the date, which I asked off of work for, but then I got a text a week prior saying "guess what happened tonight" and then was told they got married. L was there. Our parents and myself were not. A did tell me she didn't feel right inviting our parents if her parents weren't there...but why not me? I was told it was a private ceremony and only L was there as a witness, but one of their friend's posted pictures and it had over 5 different people in them

I tried to let it go but honestly it hurt me and pissed me off and everything kept adding onto it. I have zero clue what the hell i did. I have texted J and asked him point blank if he is mad at me, he would deny. I asked for A's number cause he mentioned she was lonely and had lost friends, I said we could go get our nails done since that's something she likes (I dont but I figured I'd extend an olive branch) he refused to give it to me. It seems its me but again I have zero clue why.

It worsened after me and J got into an argument. They canceled again, and I do know A was having a bought of depression at this time. I understood, as someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But J told me I never would understand (A was still going out to places and hanging out with friends, meanwhile there were days I couldn't get out of bed and called into work sick. I know we shouldn't compare mental illness but it seemed like an excuse to me. A also would do things that she has said makes her mental health worse, like reading and watching things that triggers her). The whole reason I wanted to hang out is because I had Christmas gifts from our parents and a few of our childhood friends for them (L was out of the country at this time and had mailed a gift to them). They kept bailing and I tried for TWO MONTHS, I finally delivered the items the week after Valentines.

One of our friends was a baker and TOLD THEM she baked them a cake, special for them because A has dietary restrictions due to a chronic disease. They knew this and it spoiled. So I was upset for my friend, and I lied and said they got it to save her the hurt.

But when J finally told me to drop off the items I blew up at him. We stood outside his house and yelled at each other. He flat out told me to stop being so emotional and that I was letting hormones get in the way of thinking, and that I should understand A being depressed. I did! I yelled at him he should get his head out of his ass and that he is letting down not just me but our friends, especially the baker who has a waitlist and made stuff SPECIAL for them. He didn't thank me for my gift, but texted each individual person for theirs.

That was in 2022. A month after I apologized and he said he forgave me. But nothing has changed. Since then they didn't wish me happy birthday (they called L on his, he is now living with me temporarily, but when I pointed out I didn't get a happy birthday from anyone *literally only one friend wished me a happy birthday and L, even my own parents forgot* A told me I needed to get over myself and that birthdays weren't that important to them so I shouldn't take any offense. I didnt expect them to wish me a happy birthday this year because of that, but my true friends and my parents did remember this year),. They didn't come to my college graduation. I stopped texting J and I hadn't heard a response since. We did see each other this past Christmas coincidentally, not planned as they didn't come to our parents. J was pleasant, A said nothing but watched me the whole time, and I made excuses to leave this Christmas party as I didnt even know they knew the person throwing the party.

I came home early from work this past week and J was visiting L (something J claims he can't do during weekdays cause he works 9-5 during the week...allegedly). J gave me a hug and we all chatted for about an hour, it felt like old times, but then his wife called. It was a smooth conversation then I got brought up, and suddenly A needed J back home immediately. He bailed on dinner plans he and L had (L had spent all day cooking a roast, it was delicious btw and yes L was upset J didn't stay).

I had enough. I called J during his "work hours" on his cell. J answered and I chewed him out. I said our brother was hurt and whatever the issue with me is HAS to stop. If he doesn't tell me whats wrong, I CANT fix it. J told me there was nothing wrong with me and I was reading too into it. I pointed out some of the same instances I listed and he told me I was reading into it. He then accidentally let slip that A didn't want us talking. Which I figured. I blew up and told him A was using him. A was turning him against me and our parents *i am too lazy to go back but he stopped talking to our parents the same time he stopped talking to me but he always talked to L*. I mentioned how she is an adult and if she has an issue with me she needs to tell me, but instead she's a fucking coward. J yelled at me that she has anxiety and I yelled back "bitch I do too! I'm on fucking meds for it" which i know she isnt. J hung up on me.

Not only is everything above an issue, A also: doesn't have a job and only J has the income. Claims its because of her illness, the one that causes dietary restrictions, yet EATS said things even though she knows makes her sick. She won't let J meet up with our childhood friends. A also has stsrted getting J to take edibles with her. If J is tested, it will get him fired from his job. But then she complains he's being a loser if he doesn't do edibles with her.

The kicker is this: A solely used to date women. J is NOT a woman, nor does he want to identify as one. J knows A used to date women, and again tells me I should be more considerate seeing as how I am openly bisexual. However, and I havent told J this, one of the conversations I did have with A after they got married, she told me TO MY FACE "yeah, I never imagined marrying a guy yet here I am." Laughed and I kind of was like oh haha, isnt it crazy how things work out, to which she said "I dont even like men!" Slapped my thigh laughing and continued laughing. I was bewildered and when J had returned and asked what we were talking about we both changed the subject.

I did tell L when that happened and he thought it was weird but we couldn't change anything as they were married. I dont know if I should tell J.

But really I do feel as though A is using J, but now im wondering if I should lay it out more clearly WHY. Or if I should stay out of it. They already seem to hate me, so part of me is like why not go for it. But L is talking me off that bridge (my therapist is also testing me for something that isnt solely anxiety and depression) . I know J is hurt as he told L such, and part of me feels bad I yelled, but also the rest of me wants to key his fucking car and tell him to shove it up his ass and ban him from seeing L at my house as it is MY house even though L is living there

AITA?

TLDR: I yelled at my brother his wife is using him as she doesn't have a job, always falls back on her mental and physical illness yet does things to make them worse, and has also told me she doesn't like men (she used to exclusively date women prior to my brother).

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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aurumacadicus · 2 months

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Tony gets personal mail a week after he sends off his Dear John letter. He stares at it like it's a venomous snake, hands shaking whenever he reaches to open it. Finally, he takes it to Pepper, too ashamed of the disgust he might see on Rhodey's face when he tells him why he's scared to open it. (Rhodey had received a Dear John letter on his first deployment and it left him gun-shy of starting relationships anymore. Tony had promised he'd never be like the girl who broke his heart, wait to break up in person, but the idea of faking it in letters for eighteen months just to drop Steve on his ass as soon as he saw him feels no better.)

"...Tony," Pepper whispers, shoving the letter back at him frantically. "He hasn't gotten your letter yet."

"HUH?!" Tony bellows, snatching the letter open, and crumples to the ground when he sees it laden with 'sweetheart's and 'baby's and 'honey's. There's also some really raunchy stuff that he is mortified that Pepper saw. He looks back up at her, clutching the letter to his chest. "What. What do I do."

"Well, I don't think you can write back at this point," Pepper says after a brief pause.

So Tony doesn't, even though he keeps reading and rereading Steve's letter. Steve just didn't know he'd been broken up with when he'd written it. When Tony's letter catches up to him, he'll learn why Tony never wrote back to the one he sent. It's embarrassing, but, what can he do.

But Steve's letter's keep coming, week after week, and it dawns on Tony, as he reads about the things Steve's been doing, and he finally gets the PS of "I know mail is dodgy where I am but when are you going to write back :(", that his Dear John letter... must have gotten lost in the mail. Steve doesn't know Tony broke up with him two months ago.

Tony sits down to write another one, but in the end, he can't quite bear to write 'I think it's better if we part ways' twice. Especially not when he's found himself enjoying Steve's letters. Part of the reason he'd wanted to break up was because he knew he was clingy, and he'd never managed a long-distance relationship before (although, he realizes as he stares at the blank paper, he'd never broken up with anyone because of it; he'd been the one broken up with). Plus, all of Steve's comrades had such involved family and friends when it came to their service. Tony doesn't have the leisure of going hard for the army when his company is trying to change its image. Steve had said he'd understood, but he'd also looked a little sad about it. He hadn't really wanted to break up, anyway, he figures, rubbing a hand over his face. He'd just been trying to get ahead of Steve dumping him.

So he sends Steve a letter. He tells him his other letter must have gotten lost, but there was nothing important in it. He'll try to write more often. He just didn't know how often Steve would get his letters. He pauses writing again after sending it off, but then he gets a letter back from Steve telling him he was sorry he missed the other letter, and yes, mail calls might be sparse, but he'd happily take a stack of letters with the same joy as the letters trickling in one by one.

Tony falls more in love with Steve through their letters. This is a different side of him than he's ever seen before, somehow impossibly sweeter and yet even more sincere. He understands why Steve insisted on letters instead of emails beyond the basic 'there's not always internet where we are.' He adores going back, reading over things, tracing his fingers over the ink as if he can read how Steve felt when he wrote. He can't wait for Steve to come back from his deployment so he can see him face-to-face, tell him all about his stupid first letter and how glad he was that it got lost. Steve will almost certainly laugh. Tony's confident in that now.

And then, all at once, the letters stop. Tony doesn't notice at first--sometimes mail is sporadic. Steve can't give him his exact location, but he knows enough that sometimes, bags of letters aren't important compared to bags of supplies. He keeps writing, hesitantly deciding that maybe they're just... moving locations? Or. It's too dangerous for mail. Which is scary. But Steve being deployed is scary in general anyway. So. And Steve said he'd like a stack of letters. He'll be delighted by the size of the stack he gets.

Then one day his letter comes back. He didn't even know the army did 'return to sender.' He stares at the envelope for a long time. Maybe he'd gotten the address wrong. Maybe they moved? He doesn't know how addresses work in deployment. He turns the letter over, to see if it's still sealed.

DEAR JOHN is scrawled on the back, in big, block letters.

Tony drops it as if it burned him, and he claps his hands over his mouth to muffle the wounded keen tearing at his throat.

#ideas #stony #welcome to the suffer club i guess

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trafalgarlogy · 10 months

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🍓 — HOLD ME || Y. Apollo

; [ Record Of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu No Valkyrie ]

💌 — New Notification from LOVE MAIL !! — " @AKI is back to writing !! "

# — WARNING(s) !! yandere themes, gore, fem! reader, the reader is a mortal(ass always), apollo has corruption kink fr, Stockholm syndrome, bad writing, not proofread, long, ig? .etc.

# — NOTE !! Well, i'm back writing, yay, i was originally thinking to get back with yandere! beelzebub, but when I saw apollo my jaw dropped to the ground, like WTF?! why so HOT!? hello? sir? and now here we are doing a yandere headcanon on him-

( i ) — DAWN | HOW DID YOU MEET?

Apollo, The Most Beautiful God of The Greek Pantheon, was known to be a womanizer among the gods and envied by many, who could capture any woman's heart in just a glance.

Though the sun god had everything he wanted, having the most beautiful deities head over heels in love with him; though he always felt like there was still something missing, his heart always felt empty even after all the luxury he had; he didn't understand, why?

and it became the sole reason, he had sleepless nights, he would restlessly try to look for the answer to the question, 'What was it that his heart was craving and missing all this time?'

One day, he was walking through a flower field, in the mortal realm, admiring the mesmerizing view of the sunrise from the horizon, as a new day and a new beginning started in the lives of mortals.

He looked around the flower field looking at the fragrant and vibrant around, when his eyes stopped around on a corner to see a woman, sitting peacefully admiring the sunrise like him; suddenly he felt his heart racing at the sight of this mortal woman.

he walked closer towards her direction to get a clearer of the female, he stopped at a safe distance admiring the woman's beauty.

her (h/c) hair looked luscious, her (e/c) were like the stars in the night sky, her lips looked alluring, and her (s/c) skin was so soft and delicate that it gleamed as the sun rays hit her figure making her more appealing and attractive; at the sight of this beauty, Apollo's heart beat faster, he reached his hand to touch his chest to feel his heartbeat, he was breathing heavily.

He was questioning himself, what was this feeling?....was it love?....was it lust?....or was it something?; he felt a rush of emotions at the moment as he admired the mortal woman from a distance.

after a while of being lost in his thoughts, he snapped back to reality, he took a deep breath and slowly approached the female; she had a smile on her face at her peaceful face, " it is surprising to see a mortal this early, no one is out during this time, why are you? " Apollo said with a charismatic smile painted on his face.

the woman turns to look at him with her (e/c) eyes staring into those of the sun god; she smiled, and got up, "Well, I felt like seeing the sunrise, I sometimes get up at this time around just to see this, a start of a new day " the (h/c)-ette said in her sweet voice which was like music to Apollo's ears.

" oh? So you love seeing the sun rise and set from the horizon, I suppose? " Apollo said in a playful tone, and after that they continued to talk, getting to know each other; the woman introduced herself as (Name).

(Name), wasn't just a woman who was just beautiful from the outside, the more he learned about her through the conversation, he realized how innocent, kind, and compassionate this woman was, he was getting butterflies in his stomach, when she spoke.

This feeling of longing and emptiness, all vanished when he met her, He realized what he was missing all this time, (Name) was the answer to his question, It felt like he found his other half, He found his True Love.....

( ii ) — DUSK | AFTERMATH

After the meeting with a mortal, he couldn't help but think about (Name) & her purity.....this practice continued for days, no matter how much tried to distract himself with his responsibilities and deities, she was always on his mind.

Later, he fantasized about what he would do to her, once she was his, how beautiful she would look under him, he would sit in his room fantasizing about her.

He felt like he was going insane at the thought of her, his desire to have her grew and grew over time, the desire to dominate her, the desire to break her and hold her.....this desire to ruin her innocence and corrupt her.....

He would see her illusions when he looked in the mirror, and dream about her, he even started to see her in the female deities, who would try to flirt with him and end up sleeping with them.....

Then, He started visiting (Name) in the mortal realm very often, so that he could get close to her, and he didn't fail, he did get close to her.....he had gained his innocent (Name)'s trust, and she would share with him everything, and so did he, which were all lies.

Everything went downhill the day, (Name) showed him her engagement ring and that she was getting married; Apollo had lost his sanity at the news, he was going crazy, how dare she marry another man? and not just any man, but a pathetic mortal over him, a god?

He was seething in rage and jealousy at the thought of (Name) loving a man that's not him, he didn't accept this decision of hers. And as time passed by, he was a madman now.....

A day before the wedding, (Name) got the news of her fiance and his family being brutally killed, the killer's identity was a mystery to all, and there was no trace of who did something so cruel, hearing the news (Name) started crying, her heart was broken...

As the tears streamed down her angelic face, she felt someone's hand on her shoulder, she turned her head to meet the eyes of the sun god, and her teary eyes widened as she noticed, Apollo's robe was entirely covered in blood (ngl, I believe he would look sexy *lip bite*)

Apollo stared down at the broken woman, with a cold gaze, there was a thick silence with a lot of tension between both, when he broke the silence and spoke, "you are mine, and only mine.", his voice was stern and possessive, as he continued "don't you dare think of loving another man other than me, I'm sparing you for this once, but if it happens next time I'll make sure, you suffer.".

(Name) felt a chill run down her spine at his words as she began to cry more; Apollo pulled her into an embrace as she cried, caressing her hair as she put his head on top of hers, "Don't worry, love, I'll never let anyone separate us..." he said in a soft yet menacing voice.

(Name) tried to push him away, which annoyed him, he grabbed her wrist and glared at her with his eyes full of rage; he took a deep breath to calm down, and dragged her to his castle.

He took her to his chamber and threw her on his bed, (Name) looked around confused yet terrified as he went up to the door and locked it, he turned to face with a devilish smirk as he approached

(Name) tried backing away, but he grabbed her wrist again and pulled her close to him, he cupped her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes, his eyes were obsession, making (Name) nervous.

He was enjoying her fear.....she looked so vulnerable.....he felt like breaking her right now and make her his, but he held himself back...because he had already made plans for their future, and the first step to make (Name) his forever was.....marriage

and who was gonna stop him? he gets what he wants, and so he did, he forced (Name) to get married to him.....

( iii ) — TWILIGHT | HOW WOULD HE TREAT YOU?

Apollo is very obsessive as a yandere, he would often threaten you and yes, he is serious about them, he is one of the more dangerous yandere alongside Buddha and Poseidon.

He can have two different personalities in front of you, either he can be this flirty and loving man or he will be this cold, heartless man who had no remorse or guilt for his actions.

Whenever he is in a good mood(which is almost every day) he would shower you with kisses, on your forehead, nose, cheek, jawline, neck, collarbone, and lips.

He keeps female workers around you to serve you, he can't take any chance of you running away or falling in love with another man. He is strict about it

If you try to talk to Zeus, Hermes, Or Ares for help, they would agree at first but they would go behind your back and tell Apollo about what you said to them, and It would end up in being a mess for you.

He is a loving and romantic man, he stopped seeing and flirting with other female deities just for you and brought you rare gifts on a daily basis.

Despite that, he was always clingy and hungry for your love, he would get pissed off easily if you avoided him or didn't return his affection back.

He is highly protective and aggressive when a god or goddess criticizes you or your relationship with him, he would directly approach them and kill them in an instant not caring about what other gods think, the only thing he could focus on is you.

Leaving the lovely things aside, He IS abusive, if you do something that doesn't please him, he would torture you in many different ways.

if you refused to kiss him or resist him, he will grab you by the jaw tightly and forcefully kiss you, or even more.

If he feels turned on, he would drag you to the bedroom or a quiet place and start to 'that'; even if it's against your will, he will do whatever he pleases.

He won't show mercy even if it was your 'first time'; he would fuck you in a very aggressive and rough way; he would try something new every time, to make his fantasies come true.

he ruined your purity, he took your innocence, he took everything you ever had.

if you tried to escape, which happened many times, he went easy on you first, but when it was too much, he would break your legs so you don't dare escape and even get you whipped in this vulnerable state.

all the agony and pain you faced after you met him, caused you to be depressed and isolated, as time passed by, you felt like you were losing yourself, having mental breakdowns out of nowhere, and mood swings.

and soon the stockholm syndrome kicked in, you started to feel positive around Apollo, you were showing him the affection and love, he yearned for all this time.

though he knew what caused the sudden change in your behavior, he still enjoyed it, cause after all your body and soul now belonged to him

It felt like you were brainwashed or were under a spell, that you suddenly did everything and anything Apollo asked you to.

#ror apollo #apollo ror #ror x reader #yandere! apollo #nyxxcore #itssimpforeternity #snv #record of ragnarok #ror #shuumatsu no valkyrie #apollo has corruption kink.#aki's beloved husband #aki's archive #aki the arsonist #💌 aki's love letter!!#hold me // © nyxxcore

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madhatterbri · 2 months

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Wedding Bells | W.O.

Summary: A man from Ospreay's past visits him on his wedding day.

Author's Note: Set during the Peaky Blinders days. ❤️ I wanted to make William Regal a villain and @coleskingdom filled in the blank.

Mentions of William Regal

@theworldofotps @99hook @plentyoffandoms @midwestmade29

The wedding was perfect much to Will threatening his family and friends to behave. The rules were simple. No fighting, no cursing, no gambling, and no stealing. This day was for his girl. No one was going to ruin her wedding.

The moment Will saw Y/N walking down the aisle, his breath caught in his throat. He wore a big goofy grin on his face. Both sides of the wedding party commented on her wedding dress. The very one she was stressing about the night before. Will stared at the beautiful creature before him. With two little words, they were sealed together forever.

His family kept a close eye to ensure his rules were being followed. No funny business for a few more hours. Will knew that they would make up for it once the party ended. He started to get less tense when the alcohol kicked in. She made advances towards him whenever they were alone. After the last guest left his house, he chased her to the bedroom.

"Will," she moaned with her back arched. Her pretty wedding dress was torn on the floor. He promised to get her another one, but it would meet the same fate. Will was buried inside his Y/N. He thrusted inside of her, gaining another moan.

Her legs wrapped around his waist. One hand gripped her waist while the other snaked his fingers through her hair. He grunted and panted with each thrust. With a few more thrusts, they both came undone. Will took care of her before she drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Will slipped his pants back on and went downstairs for a glass of water. The servants did a good job cleaning up after the party. All appeared normal until the smell of cheap cigars. Only one man would smoke something of such poor quality, an old "friend" of his.

"I don't remember you being on the guest list," Will pointed out. His arms crossed over his bare chest. William Regal tapped the cigar into the ashtray. He straightened up and stared at the newlywed.

"Figured my invitation got lost in the mail," he shrugged.

"What do you want, Regal?" Will demanded. The longer the old man was in his home, the higher the chance of a fight. Will was always ready to fight but not with his wife sleeping in the bedroom. Everyone in town knew of the wedding. He was going to protect her at all costs.

"Your loyalty. These are very trying times. The prime minister would like to shut down the whole gangster business. I imagine you wouldn't like finding yourself hanging. Promise me we have each other's backs and maybe you'll live long enough to see your first born," Regal said and stood up.

Will pursed his lips and glared at the ground. The old man, while shady, had a good point. The prime minister wasn't shy about the illegal bidding happening in the underground.

"Fine. I'm only doing this for Y/N's protection now. Get out before she sees you. We can talk in the morning," Will begrudgingly agreed.

"Please excuse my lack of gift, but I imagine not having that pretty little thing's brain scattered around the house was a much better gift than anything at a store. Do be careful not to cross me. It won't be your life in jeopardy," Regal threatened and patted Will's bare shoulder as he left. Once the old man left, Will clenched his fist and banged it on the wooden table.

#fanfiction #aew fanfiction #will ospreay x y/n #will ospreay x reader #will ospreay fanfic #will ospreay

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doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou · 11 months

Text

Her

What A Sad Sight (Part 1)

> larissa weems x fem!reader

> requested? kinda

> content/warnings: self-hatred, jealous larissa, ✨ eavesdropping ✨

> a/n: geez, i wrote this one without a song in mind so it was really hard to like find a title for this 😭 but yeah, there's defo gonna be another part because of this song If You Love Her

“The usual, Ms. Weems?”

Larissa looked up from her phone towards the blue clothed girl. “Yes, thank you. Your uniform looks great, who designed it?”

“Oh, someone outside Jericho.” the girl waved her hand while blushing. “I'll send someone to take your order to you soon, you can take your booth now.”

Larissa nodded in gratitude and settled to the booth next to her usual one. Sighing, she took a glance at the booth and saw a brunette sitting there.

After a few minutes, Tyler, sporting a blue uniform is standing in front of her with her hot chocolate. “Your hot chocolate, Ms. Weems.”

“Thank you, Tyler.” Larissa gave the boy a smile. “But, I must commend your uniform and the atmosphere here, it's never been like this before.”

Tyler grinned and nodded. “Yeah, uh– we have a new boss, she uh– wanted to make this place more “her”.” He said whilst making air quotations.

Larissa made an O with her mouth in understanding. “Can I ask? Who's to commend on the renovation of the Weathervane?”

As Tyler was about to speak, the brunette sitting at the booth next to her stood up. “Y/N! There you are! I thought you got lost.”

Larissa stilled at the sudden interruption and slowly glanced behind her. Her breath getting stuck in her throat as she saw the face she's been longing for in the past weeks. Luckily, Tyler managed to bring her attention back to him by chuckling.

“Her.” He said pointing at your figure hugging the brunette. “Ms. Y/N bought the café, uh– there's a rumour going on that she bought the Weathervane for someone, we don't know who though.” Tyler finished with a shrug. Glancing around him, he bid Larissa goodbye and went back to his position.

Pursing her lips, Larissa sighed and leant back on the chair, silently sipping her drink. There's another thirty minutes before she needs to go back to Nevermore and she decided to spend it here, eavesdropping on the booth next to her.

“How's the redecoration going?”

A shudder ran through Larissa's figure as she heard that voice, her voice. For weeks she's been trying to call you yet she's always redirected straight to voice mail. She knew that you knew she wanted to talk, yet you didn't. It was understandable, who would want to talk to someone who rejects a proposal? If it were her in your shoes, she wouldn't want to talk either.

“Meh, they didn't suspect anything.”

At that unfamiliar voice, Larissa found herself rolling her eyes. She didn't know why, but the voice, the accent, the person, it bothered her. Who was this wannabe sitting next to you? Did you meet her before you and Larissa got together and reconciled after she rejected your proposal or did you meet her after? Meaning you would be on the first step of moving on. Finding someone new.

She heard you give a chuckle. “Why would they suspect anything? They don't even know you.”

“That's it! They don't even know their boss's own P.A!” Larissa winced at the whining tone.

P.A huh? She didn't know you had one until now. Hell, she didn't know you needed one. Larissa balled her fists in anger. She was angry at herself for being self-centered. She hated that she pushed you away, and she knew that everytime she would raincheck your dates.

“But, truthfully, I appreciate you coming here to check the renovation.”

“It's no biggie, plus I do work for you.”

As she heard your laugh, Larissa decided to stand up and leave. She couldn't stand hearing you talk and laugh with a stranger, and in your booth nonetheless. Sighing, she dusted off her dress and left without looking back.

But if she did, she would see your eyes widen as you gazed at her.

#principal weems #wednesday #larissa weems #larissa weems x reader #principal weems x reader

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inej-ruination-ghafa · 1 year

Text

BLOODY HANDS ‐ T.M

Warnings: nightmares, ptsd, grief, mentions to sex, kissing, mentions of War, Canon typical violence mentions, guns

Pairing: Tommy Miller x reader

Summary: you had loved Tommy once upon a time and after fifteen years you stumble across him and bring him home with you, unsure if he still loved you after all this time.

Wordcount: 4.9k

You always said you didn't have favourites but Sarah Miller was by far the best student you had ever had. You’d only been teaching for a few years but she was the epitome of a perfect student, good grades, always polite, hands her homework in on time and participates in the lesson.

The 9 year old would stay an hour late at school some days due to her fathers construction business taking up his time and since it was winter and getting darker, he didn’t want her walking the Texas streets alone. You didn't mind the company as you marked your papers, the girl reading to herself and finishing off work for other teachers.

You checked your watch, tapping it twice when it slowed slightly before you looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed it was a few minutes past the time that her father would usually pick her up.

Joel Miller was a single father working a construction business with his brother who was only 5 years younger than him but still living at home. The mothers at school always gawked over him and you couldn’t deny he was attractive with that mysterious air to him and those soft brown eyes that everyone fawned over.

You never usually minded Sarah staying a little later if he was running late, you understood how difficult it must be for him but you did have places to be, you couldn’t babysit Sarah forever.

“Sarah, do you want to grab your bag? Your father will be here soon,” you said and she nodded, placing her book back down on her desk and walking towards the other room to grab it.

You walked over to the window, peeking through the blinds as you searched the parking lot for the Millers SUV but when you didn't see it, you looked back up at the clock with a sigh. You were going to have to drive the girl home and explain to your headmaster how that doesn't break any laws.

As you put your books back in your bag, you heard the regular hum of the Millers car and kept packing your stuff away, calling out to Sarah to let her know that her dads here.

You heard the door open and assumed that Joel had let himself in like he normally did but instead of being greeted by his usual sting of apologies that you always forgave him for, you were met with silence.

“Mr Miller, yo-” you started to say but stopped when you saw the man behind you. You cocked your head to the side, eyes narrowed as you tried to figure out who the man leaning against the door was, “-you’re not Mr Miller,”

There was a slight panic in your voice but when he mailed you, you recognised that smile and shook your head, scoffing at how you hadn’t realised it sooner, “Tommy Miller,” you stated, almost questioning him.

He nodded, “I’m sorry I’m late picking her up, I don’t normally do this so I got a bit lost,” he explained, his Texan drawl evident and you nodded your head, noticing the similarities between the brothers.

They had the same smile and the same eyes but there was a joy in Tommy's eyes as you looked at him that Joel never had, a certain sparkle that most people only saw once or twice in their lives.

“Come in, I’m just packing up, Sarah is tidying up her stuff,” you explained and he nodded, coming into the classroom and closing the door.

He stood there and watched as you picked up the files from the floor, lifting them up to the shelf and tidying up like you had meant to do ever since school had ended an hour ago.

Tommy Miller leaned against your desk as he watched you try and neaten it all up due to having guests. He smiled to himself as he looked at you. He had heard all about you from Sarah and from Joel but seeing you in the flesh was completely different - neither of them had ever mentioned how stunning you were.

“I’m sorry again, for being late. You must have more important things to do then look after my niece,” he said and you turned back, looking at him over your shoulder with an understanding smile.

“I quite enjoy looking after your niece actually,” you said, turning around with a box in your arms, “And you could make it up to me by helping me put these files back?”

There was an almost teasing smile on his face as he walked over, taking the box from your hands with an ease that you didn't have, “Yes ma’am” he replied, “Where do you want me to put it?”

You gestured to the cabinet to your left, “In one of those gaps, I've been meaning to sort it all out for months now but never got around to it,” you explained, watching as he placed the box down before coming back for more.

That's when Sarah came out, her backpack slung over her shoulder and a smile on her face, "Uncle Tommy!" She exclaimed and he turned to look at her, another box still in his arms.

His grin matched hers and you could see the similarities in the family, all of them having grins that could light up the room and you could feel yourself wanting to smile as well.

There was something about Tommy Miller that lit up a room, whether it was his smile or his teasing personality, you were sure all women would fall to his feet at the slightest glance.

"Hey kiddo, your dad's working real late tonight so I'm picking you up," he explained, placing the box down and brushing his shoulder length hair out of the way.

Sarah nodded, picking up her book from the desk and shoving it in her backpack before walking over to where the two of you were standing.

"Thank you for looking after Sarah, and Im sorry for being late again,' Tommy said, turning to look at you and Sarah smiled.

She had never seen her uncle look at a woman like that before and she'd seen him look at plenty of women. She smiled to herself, remembering to tell her dad all about Tommy's crush on her teacher.

"Would taking you to dinner one night make it up to you?" He asked and you could feel the heat rising up on your cheeks.

"I'm free Saturday," you said, scribbling your name on a piece of paper and tucking it into his hand, "Call me sometime,"

There was a part of him that worried that you would have rejected him. After the war, he felt like he always had blood on his hands but you didn't know that, you didn't have to fear him.

He always thought that killing people in the war had made some God hate him because he was unlucky, restless, agitated but maybe they were looking down on him if he found you.

He smiled at you, walking out of the room before turning around and looking at your face again, flashing you that signature Miller smile.

"You like my teacher," Sarah said in a sing song tone and he scoffed, opening the door with a smile.

"Get in the car kid," he said, closing the door when she got in before looking back through the window to see that wide smile on your face as you watched him drive off.

You had spent the last fifteen years in a state of fear and anxiety, unsure of what was going on.

The night of the outbreak, you had been visiting a college friend in Oregon when it had happened and in some turn of events, you had made it all the way to a QZ. But you had lost so much in the press including your boyfriend of three years, Tommy Miller.

You had spent fifteen years of your life looking for him, searching every radio station you could but you received nothing and eventually gave up.

There was a feeling in your gut that he was alive, like you could feel him out there suffering as much as you. There were days where you wondered if he was out there and thought of you as well, if he searched for you too.

After the death of your friend, you met a woman on the radio who mentioned that she had built a small safe haven with her father and had invited you there.

Tommy was alive and well and he was on the search for somewhere else to live as well after storming out of the Boston QZ.

He had spent years of his life searching for you as well, desperate to make the world better. The city you were supposed to be in had been destroyed nearly immediately but he still held hope that you were out there somewhere too.

He had done awful things searching for you, he had killed people, joined a militia group and abandoned his brother in some search for redemption.

As he stumbled around the cold forests of Wyoming, rifle tight in his hand as he looked for the nearest settlement, he found a log cabin in the woods.

When he heard the sound of a gun loading and footsteps behind him, he froze, hands held up in surrender. He was spending too much time thinking about the past that he hadn't noticed someone sneaking up behind him.

With a sigh, he turned around, eyes widening when he was met with a familiar face. He knew you in an instant and he felt his heart speed up at the sight of you after all these years.

You had aged but really, you hadn't changed in his eyes. You still had that same glimmer in your eyes and Tommy Miller was still sure that he had never seen a person as beautiful as you.

You were just as shocked as he was as you looked at the man in front of you, your hold on your gun faltering but you tried not to let him see your hands shake.

He had changed too but he still had that same smile on his face that lit up a room. You couldn't help but stare at him, wonder what he had gone through without you, wonder where he got that scar on his temple.

"Tommy Miller, as I live and breathe," you said, trying not to break down at the sight of him.

You had never forgotten him as much as you tried. The sleepless nights in a cold QZ bed, reaching over in the morning to feel an empty space beside you were all worth it to see him here.

He said your name, his voice soft and your breath hitched in your throat. You never thought he'd say your name again and now you never wanted him to stop.

You lowered your gun slowly, watching as he also lowered his raised hands and took a step towards you.

He still had that shoulder length hair that you'd always loved but had grown out a moustache. The crease between his brows was deeper now and you wondered what he had gone through in these years.

He stepped closer like he was being pulled towards you by some invisible string, his hand slowly coming up to rest on your cheek. You leant into the warmth of his hand, unable to take your eyes off of him.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, a roughness to his voice like he was holding back tears.

You shook your head, hand coming up to rest on top of his to pull it away from your face. As you held his hand, feeling the warmth of his calloused hands against yours for the first time in years, it felt like 2003 all over again.

You didn't care what he had done with his hands, the people he may have killed, the blood that stained the skin because he was still yours and you knew it as you looked into his eyes. His hands were still the ones that had touched you late at night, his hands were still the ones that wiped away your tears when you cried.

"I'm patrolling the area, I live in a settlement nearby," you explained, pursing your lips together as you thought, "You should come back with me,"

He whispered your name again and you stepped closer, "I don't want to impose," he said and you scoffed at the idea.

"When have you ever imposed on anything in my life?" You asked, a teasing smile on your face and for the first time in years, the weight was lifted off of your chest.

You didn't feel the crushing weight of the apocalypse bearing down on you because he was here, the rock who kept you grounded all those years ago was here with you now.

"So, you'll come back with me?" You asked, other hand reaching up and brushing a piece of dirt off of his cheek. You let your hand linger there, let yourself feel the soft stubble of his cheek against you for the first time in years.

He leaned closer to your hand, pressing a chaste kiss to the inside of your wrist and then looking back at you, "How could I ever refuse you?" He said, that same smirk on his face from fifteen years ago.

It was like no time had passed at all as you walked back to the settlement, falling into a comfortable silence about what you had both been up to since you had seen each other last. There were things that both of you didn't want to talk about yet but you understood, there were difficult things in your past too.

As he looked at you, he couldn't help but thank whatever God was looking after him because they knew that he needed to see you again, needed to see you smile at one of his corny jokes just one more time.

There was a comfortable silence and it was like you both clicked back into place immediately, like you were still 27 and 31 again, "So, how long have you been living there?" Tommy asked.

"Around three years," you explained, looking to the side and looking up at him, "I found it after I escaped from my QZ,"

His brows furrowed as he looked at you, wondering why you used that word, escape, "Which one?" He questioned.

He wanted to know everything about you because he felt guilty for not being there with you when the outbreak happened, he should have taken up your offer to go to Oregon with you that day and maybe you'd still be together.

"Kansas City," you explained, looking straight ahead. You heard his breath hitch in his throat at the words and he knew how bad it was.

He knew how awful Kansas City was, he knew what bad things had happened to people there and he could feel that sinking feeling in his stomach as he wondered what prompted you to escape. That's when the guilt sunk back, the guilt of letting that happen to you.

The silence was awkward for a second and you shook your head, trying to change the subject, "What about you? Why are you in the middle of nowhere?" You questioned.

He shook his head, unable to find the words, "I had to leave the Boston QZ," he stated.

You recognised that guilt ridden tone from when he would talk about things from the war and you didn't want to push him on it. Everyone had to find a way to survive in this new world and you weren't innocent either.

"I guess we've both done some bad things in the last fifteen years," you said, trying to lighten the mood.

There was a slight smile on his face as he looked at you, "I guess so," he said.

"How's Joel and Sarah?" You asked. It was a question that had been burning on your chest since you saw him alone.

His silence made your heart sink in your chest, "Joel hates me and Sarah, she's," he explained, his voice trailing off at the end at that was answer enough for you.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head as you thought about what had happened to her but you didn't want to think too much about it, think about that little girl being victim to this new world.

"I'm sorry Tommy," you said, your hand coming down to grab his and squeeze it slightly in reassurance.

He hadn't had someone look out for him like you had ever since the outbreak, had someone touch him like that and just know him since 2003. Just to feel your touch against his made shivers run down his spine.

Tommy look over at you, squeezing your hand back, "He was never the same after that, never quite as human," he explained and you thought about that joyful man you knew becoming reclusive and lonely, "How have you been?"

"Fine, I taught at a Fedra school for a while so," you said, chuckling to yourself as you thought about how absurd it was. You both knew how awful the Fedra schools were, how they indoctrinated people but you wanted to clear up any assumptions he had of you, "I know, pretty awful of me but I had to do what I had to do to survive. I now teach local kids,"

"You were always the best teacher," he said with a smile, letting go of your hand and brushing his shoulder length hair back.

The rest of the walk was in comfortable conversation, talking about the lighter aspects of living in a post-outbreak world but you knew that the two of you were getting along perfectly like you never spent any time apart.

When you got to the settlement, Tommy looked around at the scene. There were houses and buildings sprawled everywhere and he could feel the familiar burning of tears behind his eyes as he looked around. This was meant to be his future, the perfect little town, the nice house and the family. This was meant to be his future with you.

You could see that he was nervous and you leaned closer to him, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll all like you," you reassured as you walked towards Maria.

She called your name, pulling you in for a hug before turning to look at the man beside you, "And who's your friend,"

"This is Tommy Miller," you said and you noticed Maria's eyebrows raised as her interest was piqued.

"The Tommy Miller? I've heard a lot about you," she said, pulling the man into a hug before letting him go when she felt him tense up, "Sorry, I'm a bit of a hugger,"

"Do you have any place for him to stay?" You asked, looking around the estate.

"We don't have any other houses available, the roofs collapsed during the snow storm last month," Maria explained and you could see the way Tommy's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"He could stay with me," you announced, basically blurting the idea out and the two adults turned to look at you, "I have a couch, he could stay with me until there's room,"

He hesitated, stepping back slightly, "I don't want t-" he started to say and you cut him off.

"If you say you don't want to impose Tommy Miller I swear to God," you said, watching the smile reappear on his face. You really hadn't changed over the years and that was the thing that made him smile.

"Perfect, we will get you clothes and you can get yourself set up while we look for some jobs for you to do, I'm sure our friend won't mind sharing patrol shifts with you," Maria said with a smile.

"So, you've talked about me?" He asked teasingly and you turned to him, face burning as you hit him on the shoulder.

"Shut up," you said trying to hide the blush raising to your cheeks as you walked away with him, a small laugh escaping him.

She had never seen you so willing to take someone onto your home before so as she watched the two of you walk away, she knew he was someone special.

"So, this is my place," you said, fumbling around with your keys in your pocket before you opened the door, "Go on in, you can have a shower if you want,"

He looked around in awe at it all. It was a real house, not some dodgy apartment in a QZ. It had a makeshift calendar and blankets and logs piled up near a fireplace.

"It's not much I know bu-" you started to say but he cut you off, stepping closer to you.

"It's amazing doll, absolutely amazing," he said, a smile on his face as he looked around, "Now where's that shower?"

You smiled, pointing him in the right direction and watching as he rushed off like a little kid on Christmas.

You sat on your bed as you listened to the sound of the water from the shower, fiddling with your hands anxiously. It was strange to have someone in your house after living alone for so long but it was nice that it was Tommy.

You two had dated for three years before that day and in those years you had grown as close as two people could and you had grieved losing him but now he was here.

It was strange to think that after fifteen years apart he was here in your house and it was like no time had passed at all even though so many things had changed.

When he had gotten changed, he walked out, towel still trying to dry his hair. You smiled at the sight of him and all the memories came flooding back, of him running through the rain, of him running you baths on nights when teaching got too much.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched him brush his wet hair back and you had to pinch yourself to convince yourself that it wasn't another dream.

"You'll be staying on my couch," you said, walking him through the hallway, "Its not as comfy as it looks but I'll try and get a pull out bed in the morning,"

He nodded, "Thank you, for letting me stay with you,' He said and you smiled at him.

"It's okay, call me if you need anything," you said, leaning against the doorframe.

"I will, night," he said and you smiled at him, repeating the sentiment before walking away.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you heard a yell and a bang and jumped up, hand on your gun as you walked through the hallway slowly.

Your finger was solid on the trigger and when you entered the living room, you saw Tommy sitting there, head in his hands and the lamp fallen on the floor in front of him.

When he heard the creak of the floorboard, his head whipped around to look at you and when he looked at you, your heart dropped.

He had tears in his eyes and sweat on his brow and he looked away from you almost like he was ashamed of what he looked like.

Slowly and hesitantly, you walked over to him and sat down next to him. You reached up, hand coming up to rest on his shoulders and he flinched slightly at your touch.

You knelt down in front of him, placing a hand under his chin to bring his face up so he was looking at you.

"Bad dream?" You asked and he brushed the tears away quickly before looking back at you.

You knew how to look after him, you had held him as he cried in the night after nightmares from his time in the war and you jumped right back into that mode, your hand coming up tor rest against his cheek, brushing a stray tear away.

"I've got you, I'm here," you promised.

There was a part of him that relished in your touch and the fact that you remembered all of this after so long but also a part that wished that nothing bad had ever happened to the world and to you two.

He allowed himself to open his eyes and look at you because you weren't a dream. He had been having nightmares of your death since 2003 and now you were here and he was allowing himself to realise that you were real, that you were here with him and that it was your touch against his skin.

He had always dreamed of your bloody hands begging for him to help, bloodying his clothes and his skin but as the pad of your thumb brushed against his cheekbone, he knew it was all okay.

"Just breathe," you said and he did, following your breath before managing to shake off the fear.

"I haven't had this one in a while," he said and you nodded. You didn't want to push him because bad things had happened to both of you. He looked down at you, your faces close together.

"It was Sarah, I haven't dreamed about her death in so long," he said and you nodded, standing up and offering your hand to him.

"How about you come stay with me for a bit, my beds comfier than yours," you offered, a slight smile on his face as he looked at you.

"You sure?" He questioned.

"You're not a burden Tommy Miller, you never have been," you said and he nodded, grabbing your hand and letting him pull you up.

You brushed one of his curls out of his face before leading him to your room. As you looked back at him, he was just as beautiful as the day you two left one another.

You two settled down in the bed, the blankets draped over both of you and it felt like you were back in his and Joel's house, holding each other in the night.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked, the two of you sitting there comfortably.

He shook his head. One day he would explain what happened to you but right now he didn't want to relive Sarah's death, he didn't want to see his niece lying there, he didn't want to have to rip Joel away from her body again..

"Could I just, hold you for a bit?" He asked, hesitant that you would refuse or see it as him crossing some line.

You nodded and as he wrapped his arms around you, finding some sort of comfort in your arms, you smiled to yourself.

"I've missed you," you whispered in the dark, unsure what else to say. How do you verbalise that the last fifteen years had been hell without him and that now that you were with him again, the voices in your head had all been silenced?

"I missed you too Doll," he said, pressing a kiss against the exposed skin of your shoulder, "I'm not letting you go ever again,"

"You're going to be wishing you'd never found me," you joked and you could feel his smile against your shoulder before he laughed.

When you heard him laugh, it was the first time in fifteen years that you had been completely at peace and a smile came to your face at the sound.

You turned around in his grip, feeling his arms tighten around your waist as you reached a hand up to gently caress his face.

Both of your hands were bloody from what you'd done to survive, from what you'd done to get to one another but here with him in your arms, you didn't regret a thing. For once there was no weight pushing you down and you were free to love.

"You're the love of my life Tommy Miller," you said and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

He kissed you at that moment, the first kiss you'd had in all that time apart, and as he kissed you it felt like nothing could ruin your lives at all.

The guilt that Tommy had felt all these years were washed away and he didn't allow himself to get wrapped up in the idea that he deserved to be punished, that he had sinned. Because if being a sinner had lead him to this, to you, then he wished everyone to be sinners and to be as lucky as he was.

He pulled away, breath hot against yours and you leaned in again to press another kiss to his lips, almost like you craved it after all this time.

"I love you too Doll, never a moment where I didn't," he said and you leaned your head against his chest, allowing yourself to just be in the moment for once.

As you fell asleep, his arms wrapped around you, it was the best that you had slept since the day you two had left each other and you knew that you weren't going to let him go again.

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